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sickficideas · 5 months ago

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come down soon || [BEAST AU] kenji & sick akutagawa

ao3! 2.4k - please refer to the tags in the link for content + warnings! sicktember 2024, day 17: brain fog/spaced out

“Are you sure you're okay?”

Kenji takes the health and physical well-being of his coworkers very seriously. Especially doing the kind of work that he does, out here in the fields - it's not good to do this sort of physical labor in this sun when a person isn't feeling well, or if their body isn't up for it.

“I think so,” Akutagawa answers, but not sounding entirely sure. He presses a hand up to the hide of his head. Kenji gets the feeling that he's been dizzy all morning. He's been a lot more careful with his movements, slower overall, too. But most concerning of all, he's not nearly as sharp as he usually is. He’s got this troubled expression on his face.

“Let's take a break,” Kenji suggests. It's about eleven in the morning now on a Saturday nearing the end of spring. It's not too hot out, in fact, the breeze they feel out here is cool. He's not worried about the fact that Akutagawa is suffering from the heat in any capacity, he thinks it might be something else.

“But we're almost finished,” Akutagawa tells him. Akutagawa seems to prioritize swiftness and efficiency. Kenji doesn't mind setting those aside if it means avoiding overworking someone. It's certainly not worth it if Akutagawa ends up fainting, because that's happened before, and Kunikida has asked Kenji to keep an eye out for him and make sure that doesn't happen again.

“We've got all day to finish. No need to rush,” Kenji tells him, smiling. They don't have work at the Agency today, and as far as Kenji is aware, Akutagawa doesn't have any prior engagements. He knows he's not trying to leave to be on time for something. He thinks he's just trying to prove something to himself.

Akutagawa just gives him a tiny nod of acknowledgment.

Kenji leads him over to a spot a little further off from the farmhouse where they usually sit to eat their lunch. It's a great spot, it catches the breeze nice because of its elevated height from the rest of the fields, and it's got a huge oak tree providing plenty of shade.

Akutagawa sits down - still slowly, carefully, like he's taking precautions against falling over. He doesn't say anything. He pulls his knees up to his chest and just stares out into the field, keeping his hat in, half obscuring his eyes. He almost looks defensive, subconsciously.

“Is it okay if I feel your forehead? I just wanna make sure you don't have a fever or something,” Kenji says.

Akutagawa doesn't object, but he didn't expect him to. He seems too out of it right now to bother with that right now anyway. Kenji lifts Akutagawa's straw hat just a little and lays his palm against his forehead. It's not hot, not really, but Kenji thinks it's not cool enough to be normal.

“You do feel a little warm,” Kenji informs him, standing straight and trying to decide what to do.

“I do?” Akutagawa asks. He seems confused by that information. “I feel fine.”

Kenji is sure he's telling the truth, or at least, he thinks he is. Maybe he's just feeling off, but not off enough ring any alarms.

“I'll go see if Ms. Maeda can spare us some onigiri today. Just wait here, ‘kay?” Kenji says. Maybe he needs something to eat. He's got a really bad habit of skipping meals, that can definitely make someone feel light headed and fuzzy. Kenji knows that very well due to the nature of his ability.

He skips off to the farmhouse, where he knows Ms. Maeda is working inside. She never has any problem offering them food, in fact, she often does it without them asking, so he's not worried about that.

“Ms. Maeda?” Kenji starts, peeking his head into kitchen, the door of which is just on the outside. She hears her call him in to come inside, and he politely bows his head as he enters. She's cleaning some dishes, it looks like.

She tilts her head in his direction. “Finished already, Kenji?”

“Hi, Ms. Maeda. Not yet, we're just taking a short break,” he tells her.

“Please, take as many breaks as you need. You're doing us a great favor, after all!” she insists. She's never had an issue with the length of time it takes them to do anything. “Please take some of the onigiri on the counter, I made them just an hour ago.”

“Thank you so much, we really appreciate it,” he says, walking over and taking two or three into his pockets. “Would it be okay if I took an extra water bottle, too? I think Akutagawa's a little light-headed.”

“Oh goodness, please take as many as you need. And do let him know he's welcome to rest inside if he needs to,” she tells Kenji, sounding rather worried herself. Kenji nods and bows his head. He's thankful for her kindness. She's just as gentle as a lot of the Agency members. It's good Akutagawa has people like that in his life.

He heads back out to the oak tree, where Akutagawa is still sitting in the same position, just with his legs crossed this time, staring out past the mountains. Kenji walks over sitting beside him, placing two wrapped onigiri and a water bottle in front of him.

Akutagawa flinches as soon as Kenji comes into view, like he didn't realize he was there until he saw something in front of him move. His shoulders are suddenly tensed up, but he turns his head and sees a familiar face, and relaxes a little.

“Did you not sleep well?” Kenji asks, trying to figure out why he's not quite himself right now. He wasn't really in great spirits this morning, but Kenji chalked it up to him still waking up. They've been awake for several hours now, though.

“Maybe a few hours less than normal,” Akutagawa answers, and Kenji knows he doesn't sleep very much to begin with. Akutagawa blinks several times and rubs at his eyes. “But I'm not tired. Just…I…I don't know.”

“Try eating something and drinking some water,” Kenji encourages. “You might feel a little better with something in your stomach. I don't think you've eaten all day.”

Akutagawa doesn’t object to this, either. He’s slow and careful, opening the water bottle and taking a few sips of it. Kenji knows he’s got something heavy on his mind, and he doesn’t blame him, not at all. The events of just a few weeks ago are still heavy on his mind, but Kenji feels like Akutagawa has weights on his shoulders that Kenji couldn’t possibly comprehend.

He sits there for a while with him, finishing his own onigiri while Akutagawa only takes two bites of his. He seems like he doesn’t have an appetite. Kenji thinks he’s looking a little pale. He might just be feeling under the weather today, or he’s coming down with something - it’s hard to say.

After a while, Akutagawa lays down in the grass and turns on his side with a quiet, defeated sigh. Something akin to a cat taking a rest on the porch of the human that feeds it after a long day of hunting - a well deserved rest, Kenji thinks.

“I just need a few more minutes,” he says quietly.

“I've got all day,” Kenji assures him with a gentle smile. “Take as long as you need, ‘kay?”

Akutagawa just nods, and lets his eyes fall shut. He looks peaceful, Kenji thinks. That troubled expression from earlier is gone. He must have a lot on his mind, and if he can take a moment here to forget about it all, Kenji will gladly let him have it.

Kenji decides leave him be for a while, so he can rest peacefully. It's not the first time he's fallen asleep there, but he thinks that now, he could really use it.

He finishes the rest of their work for the two of them. There wasn’t much left to do, and Kenji doesn’t necessarily need Akutagawa’s help for this sort of thing, anyway. Akutagawa seems to just genuinely enjoy helping. It’s hard work, and he recognizes that, but Akutagawa’s never been the type to avoid something because it’s difficult.

He thinks that generally, they’ve finished up most of the work Ms. Maeda needed help with to prepare for the summer. There’s not much else they can to do justify coming all the way out here on the weekends. Kenji will definitely miss it, and he wonders if Akutagawa will too.

A few hours pass when Kenji emerges out of Ms. Maeda’s house, being invited in initially for tea that he politely declined in favor of making sure Akutagawa doesn’t wake up by himself, but it seems like the few minutes he spent inside were just enough time for that to happen.

Akutagawa’s not standing far from the farm house when Kenji walks out. He’s glad to see him at first, but he realizes as he starts to walk over that Akutagawa’s not steady on his feet at all, like he stood as soon as he woke up. The moment Kenji is just feet away from him, Akutagawa turns his head, and falls forward.

Kenji catches him in time, thankfully. There’s not much out here for him to hit his head on, but still, he’d rather avoid that.

“‘M sorry,” Akutagawa says quietly as Kenji steadies him, both of them sitting in the grass.

Kenji is certainly worried now. He’s a lot paler than earlier, more of sickly color this time, confirming Kenji’s suspicions that he must be coming down with something.

“I think you were just starting a fever,” Kenji tells him with a pout, “you feel warmer than before now.”

Akutagawa just looks up at him, not completely all there. He’s not making any further attempts to stand up even after being steadied, which concerns him all the same.

“We still have work to do,” Akutagawa tells him. Kenji doesn’t think Akutagawa understood him.

“I finished it, Akutagawa. It’s okay,” he assures him with a smile, “you don’t have to worry about doing any work when you don’t feel right. That’s one of Kunikida’s rules, remember? It’s more important that you’re well-rested and healthy, okay?”

Akutagawa’s looking at him, right in the eyes, but he truly doesn’t think he’s understanding anything. His eyes are clouded and far away, thinking about something else entirely, but he’s still looking at Kenji.

“Akutagawa?” Kenji starts, trying to at least test his theory.

He watches tears slip from his eyes.

“Hey…wait, it’s okay, you don’t…” Kenji starts, completely caught off guard by this for a moment. He’s never seen Akutagawa cry. He didn’t even know that was possible, really, the way he carries himself and all, but he’s always thought that Akutagawa keeps a lot of his feelings to himself, even though it’s not good for him.

Kenji decides to hug him. He wraps his arms around him and holds him tight. Whatever’s been on his mind today has been hurting him to the point of crying, and draining his energy. Kenji wishes he would talk about what he’s feeling, but he knows it’s one thing at a time with him. Even though Akutagawa is much older than Kenji, he has a lot to learn about taking care of hismelf. He never had the option to prioritize it.

“Whatever’s on your mind, you can talk to us, okay?” Kenji tells him, keeping him close for a minute. “Any of us, really. Even Kunikida. I know he sounds harsh sometimes, but I think he worries about you more than any of us.”

Akutagawa doesn’t move. He’s completely still. His breath doesn’t hitch and he doesn’t make any noise, like most people do when they cry. He thinks the tears just slipped out without him realizing it. Kenji thinks he must have had to cry in silence a lot.

“I'm gonna ask Ms. Maeda if she can drive us to the station, yeah? And then you can go see Doctor Yosano. And rest for a little while longer,” Kenji tells him, backing up and trying to look him in the eyes, but Akutagawa’s gaze has dropped down to the grass, his eyelashes wet from tears. He doesn’t nod, doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t object.

Kenji helps him stand up, keeps him steady while they’re walking, and takes him back to the farmhouse to start their journey home.

…

“I’m sorry,” Akutagawa finally says. “About earlier.”

He hasn’t said a word since he first fainted, through their whole journey home. Not that Kenji had any gripes with that at all - he figured he was way too out of it to have a conversation. Yosano said he had a hundred and one degree fever, which isn’t too terribly high, but could have certainly caused some of the symptoms he experienced if his mind wasn’t well, either.

Kenji and Tanizaki are both sitting with him in the infirmary. Tanizaki was here helping Yosano with some work when they arrived back, and hasn’t left. He’s just as worried.

“You don’t have to be sorry! I’m just glad you feel a little better now,” Kenji assures him.

Akutagawa looks over at him, like he’s not entirely sure he wants to accept that answer.

“Have you had a lot on your mind?” Tanizaki asks him gently, carefully. His brow is twisted up in concern. They just had a conversation about the frequency of Akutagawa’s fevers with Yosano. He just had a spell like this the other week - it went away fairly quickly, within a day, at least, but she had concerns about it having to do with his mental state.

She mentioned something about underlying health issues, too, but said she’d look into it if it continued. Kenji prefers to believe it’s the former theory.

“It’s…everything,” Akutagawa says with a pained sigh, laying his head on his knees, still sitting in the cot Kenji led him to when they arrived here a few hours ago. “But…nothing I should bother any of you with.”

“I don’t want you to hold that burden by yourself, Akutagawa,” Tanizaki tells him, reaching forward and laying a hand on Akutagawa’s knee, getting him to lift his head and look at him. “That’s what we’re all here for.”

Kenji smiles, glad that he’s not the only one who feels that way, and not the only one who’s willing to show and prove it to him. They haven’t known him as long as they’ve all known each other, sure, but he deserves the same devotion and protection.

“I told you it wasn’t just me,” Kenji tells him.

Akutagawa make eye contact before lowering his eyes down to the sheets. He just nods. A small step, but better than staying still.

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