#im currently trying to go through path of pain

[rambling-fool]

HK ghost 🤝 ISAT siffrin/loop to witness secrets sealed one must endure the harshest of punishment

siffrins' no good very bad tuesday

[katnisspeetaprim]

Broad Day Light

Min Yoongi/Reader

Im so sorry if this is bad. i haven't had time to properly edit this. I've been sick again recently, but I wanted to get at least something out for you guys!

Warnings: Injury, crowds, anxiety, established relationship, idol!au

Word Count: 1203 M.list

Walking down a busy street in the middle of the day shouldn’t have been an anxiety inducing task, but here you are. That’s all it’s felt like these days.

You and Yoongi went public a few years ago and paparazzi and sasaeng’s had mostly started to leave you alone after a few months, just the odd personal space invader here and there, but you learnt to live with the new found attention.

Fast forwards to 2023 and Yoongi’s solo tour was well under way. With a world tour came massive media attention, and with media attention, came paparazzi.

You weren’t famous, so having people run up to you with cameras was a surreal experience.

You tried your best to shield your face, but it was to no avail as the group of photographers bolted towards you from across the road.

‘Y/N! Over here!’

‘Are you going to any of the shows!?’

The group of men had effectively blocked your path, not allowing you to leave.

‘Please let me through. I have somewhere to be...’ You mumbled and wrapped your arms round yourself as you kept your head down and away from the cameras. You started forcing your way forwards.

‘Y/N! Yoongi and Halsey have been acting close! Did something happen between them!? Is that why you aren’t on tour with him?’ You know you shouldn’t dignify these people with a response, but the gall of implying that Yoongi would cheat on you with someone that had become a good friend to the both of you... It was enough to make you rage.

‘Of course not! They are good friends, now let me through- Ah!’ As you forcefully pushed your way through the crowd, you didn’t realise how close you were to the curb.  Your ankle rolled, causing you to topple over into the road.

Your hands, arms and knees were all scratched up, along with a twisted ankle. At least no cars were coming so you wouldn’t get run over. Though that seemed like a more preferable situation than the one you were currently in.

‘AH!’ You shakily sat up and grabbed your ankle, causing you to hiss out in pain.

‘Please just leave me alone!’ You screamed out and swiped out at the paparazzi circling round you.

‘Hey that’s assault! She just tried to hit me!’ One of the men shouted out, trying to garner sympathy with his fellow low lives.

You were all but breaking down into a full blown panic attack, when all of a sudden you felt a wave of hope flow through you when you heard the shouts of police officers approaching the scene.

‘Hey! What’s going on here? Out of the way!’ They pushed through the crowd and one knelt next to you, whilst the other two pushed back the group, ultimately threatening arrests if they didn’t dispurse.

‘Miss? Are you ok? Are you hurt?’

‘My ankle- I think it’s twisted!’ You whimpered, trying to hold back your tears.

‘Don’t worry. We’ll get you to the hospital.’

Hours later and you were finally able to go home. With a lot of help from your best friend, you were now sat in your living room, feeling sorry for yourself with your poor ankle all wrapped up.

The scraped that littered your limbs weren’t too bad, just a little sore. Stories had hit the web pretty much immediately, along with plenty of videos of the incident, filmed by multiple people.

With any luck, Yoongi would be too busy to even think about going online...

-Incoming video call from Yoongles-

Ah well. There goes that idea.

After a slight hesitation, you pushed the green answer button.

Yoongi suddenly appeared on screen. He’d clearly changed out of his concert gear and was now clad in comfy sweat pants and a jumper.

And he looked pissed.

‘Hey Yoongi...’ You trailed off, trying to sound normal.

‘Seriously? You going to pretend nothing happened?’ He stared at you in disbelief.

‘You should have called me when it happened!’ He continued on, raising his voice ever slightly.

You looked away from the screen, feeling guilty that you tried to keep it from him. Of course he would see the articles, so it was pointless to even try.

‘I’m sorry...’

Yoongi  took in your defeated appearance and groaned internally for adding more upset to your already stressful day.

‘No, I’m sorry for shouting. When I saw what happened, I just got so angry.’ He paused for a moment before shaking his head. ‘You got hurt because of me...’

‘Yoongi no!’ You sat up straighter, trying to reassure him. ‘This isn’t your fault. At all!’

He nodded slowly, but you could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn’t believe you.

‘I’m going to send you the number for one of our bodyguards. If you need to go somewhere, get him to drive you.

Yoongi suddenly moved the phone in his hands. He was clearly texting you.

You couldn’t help but smile at your boyfriend.

‘Yoongi! I’m sure they have better things to do than look after me!’ His message however, had already pinged on your phone.

‘You got attacked in broad daylight Y/N. Seems pretty serious to me.’ Yoongi deadpanned as he stared you right in the eyes.

The smile fell from your face. You couldn’t argue with the fact that you would feel a lot safer with someone escorting you...

‘I won’t be going anywhere for a while. My ankle is all screwed up.’ You joked, trying to lighten the mood a little.

You didn’t get to see Yoongi often these days, given how in demand he was. The last thing you wanted to do with your precious time together was be miserable.

Yoongi smirked mischievously.

‘Maybe you’ll stay out of trouble then.’ You drew back in mock offense.

‘Excuse me!?’ Where has the compassion gone to?’

‘I’m sure you’ll survive.’ He said, trying to hold back his smirk.

You couldn’t hold back and began to laugh for the first time that day.

‘I wish I could be there for you’ Yoongi suddenly spoke over your laughter. You immediately went quiet, knowing that Yoongi was still upset by the days events.

‘It’s ok. This is enough, for now.’ You smiled gently and gestured towards the phone screen separating the two of you.

‘Remind me again why you couldn’t come with me?’ Yoongi groaned and slumped back in his chair.

‘You know why. I couldn’t get off work.’ You giggled as you also snuggled down into your chair.

He frowned before once again beginning to type on his phone.

‘What’s wrong?’ You enquired curiously.

‘I’m not there, but Tae will be close by tomorrow. I’m sending him to check on you.’

‘Oh my god!’ You exclaimed with a laugh. ‘I can’t convince you I’m fine can I?’

‘Definitely not.’

You and Yoongi spent a long time on call together that night, making the most of every moment.

It was only after ending the call for the night, did you notice Taehyung had sent you a message.

Hey noona! Hope you are ready for a home spa day tomorrow!

P.S, Please tell Yoongi-hyung I made you happy... He’ll kill me if I fail!

[captainnameless]

i just got surgery and even though im in pain i really just wanna run around and be active along with being able to use 2 hands again so it got me thinking if Daniel would be like me after he got his hand surgery and Mama Seb would not be impressed with Daniel attempts at trying to do things he’s not allowed since he’s such a hyperactive wiggly little guy. If the inspiration goblins bless you could i have a little mini fic about it please :)

oh no! i hope you’ll feel better soon and the healing process goes nice and smooth! sending all the good vibes <3

as for some wriggly little Daniel and over protective Mama Seb:

It’s a slippery hike, now that fall has come and it’s been raining most of the week, the dirt muddy and wet, the rocks especially slippery.

Sebastian grateful Daniel had listened to his brief before coming to Switzerland, packing waterproof hike boots that were currently covered in mud.

The soft drizzle meant that their hoods were up, one of Daniel’s sleeves hanging loosely by his side, the zipper up tight over the arm that was pressed to his chest, his free arm swinging a little as they walked.

“Not on the rocks, darling.” Sebastian called out when Daniel wanted to take their usual turn.

It earned him an impressive pout. “Mama.” He whines.

“They’re slippery, bug. Come on, we’ll go here.” Sebastian has switched Bruno’s leash to his other hand so he can reach out to the younger, the dog waiting patiently.

Daniel doesn’t take his hand. “I don’t wanna go that way.” He takes a step closer to the other path, pressing his toe into one of the rocks. “They’re not so slippery.”

Sebastian sighs a little. “Daniel, the rain makes that path too slippery, if you fall you only have one hand to catch you, and what happens if you hurt your other hand, hm?”

The reminder of his ouchie put an even more sour pout on Daniel’s face, jerking his foot back. “Fine.”

“Good boy,” Sebastian praises, still holding his hand out but Daniel only uses it for the step back down, walking out in front of Seb and Bruno.

The dog takes his time sniffing about, and Daniel makes sure to complain about their slow pace, whistled back by Sebastian every couple of minutes when he’s walked too far ahead.

“Daniel, sweetheart, give me a second!” Sebastian calls again when Bruno goes number 2 in the middle of the trail and his feels obligated to pick it up, struggling with the little plastic baggies.

He’s not sure Daniel hears him, or doesn’t want to hear him, cause the boy keeps walking.

“Daniel!”

This time he hears him, cause it earns him a little look back over his shoulder while Daniel keeps moving.

Sebastian grumbles to himself, making quick work of cleaning up before stalking after Daniel who apparently now thinks this is a game of tag because he makes a run for it.

Sebastian cringes at the prospect of Daniel plummeting to the ground with the slippery mud capable of catching them out any second so he slows his pace, calling out again. “Daniel! No running, Mama’s serious! Wait for me.”

When that doesn’t work Sebastian begrudgingly changes tactics. “One.”

That changes Daniel’s quick speed but he still doesn’t come to a full stop.

“Two.” Sebastian inwardly groans, picking up his own pace a bit. He’d really like to get through at least the hike without having to discipline the younger, but he did figure that with how much Lewis had been spoiling the younger after his surgery and serious bad luck, they’d have some trouble with listening ears.

Just as he’s about to call out three, Daniel comes to a full stop and turns around, pout back on his face. “I stopped!” He rushes out, seemingly unsure if he did so quick enough with how unimpressed Sebastian looks.

“You need to listen to Mama.” Sebastian lectures when he’s close enough, tipping up Daniel’s chin once he’s got it in his grasp. “You have to be careful.”

It makes Daniel try to quickly blink back the tears in his eyes, taking a shaky breath. “I don’t like being careful.” He whines.

And Sebastian knows, he knows the adrenaline junky Daniel is, the way it’s killing him to have to be so cautious all the time but it’s a necessary evil to get him back in the car asap.

“I know, sweetheart.” Sebastian soothes, deciding not to push a lecture. “Let’s just get home, ok?”

He gets a sad little nod from Daniel, who does take his hand this time as they take the path back home. Sebastian helps both of them get out of their muddy boots and Daniel obediently waits, plucking at his sweater as Sebastian cleans Bruno up enough so that he doesn’t track dirt throughout the house.

Sebastian only notices the nervous little plucks when he finishes, figuring Daniel’s not entirely sure if that little stunt has earned him something so Seb is quick to put the nerves to rest.

“Wanna have a bath, huh buddy? Warm up a bit? Be nice and cozy for a nap?”

Daniel doesn’t fight it; easily agrees and so Sebastian runs him a bath, helps bag up his hurt arm before sneaking downstairs to start heating up some hot cocoa.

If Lewis can spoil the boy then so can he.

[vasito-de-leche]

Hello!😄, I admire the way you write ✍️The way u never mischaracterized characters and the way you write them accurately is fascinating to read for ,and how you also took focus on small details about the character heck im starting to believe you work on the game R1999, if may I ask if you could write about Six from R1999 with a timid S/O or about a self-aware au of Six ? It had been my obsession of him after he came out and with his story making it more fascinating and made me attract towards him more

;R1999 6 - Self-Aware AU

Headcanons about how 6 would act upon becoming self-aware. Related to this Self-Aware AU post.

tysm for the kind words! I rlly like overthinking and overanalyzing stuff <3

I'll do the self-aware AU for this post to match the other one posted recently about 37, but feel free to send another ask if you'd still like 6 with a timid S/O!

There is a lot to be discussed about 6 and how all four characters of the 1.4 update contrast and complement each other so wonderfully, but I have a lot of trouble narrowing down what exactly I want to talk about here and what I should save for a proper analysis of the characters and the way I interpret them. So as usual, I ask that you guys bear with me with these trains of thoughts!

For starters, in my opinion, 6 is a very good narrative foil to 37.

Both focus on alienation and isolation from their respective communities, both are characters that struggle with the concept of fate, and both were born knowing their numbers--the key difference is the way each tackles this piece of information.

As discussed before in her own post, 37 does not question the reason why she's 37: like 210 says, "she stumbled upon fate at birth," and did not go through the same process of having to figure out one's number like the rest do. When it comes to 6, it's slightly different but the fundamentals are the same: he knows the number he will be assigned, and yet this revelation is not part of a natural process, it's something that us forced upon him and his family.

What I'm trying to say is that 37 and 6 weren't given the choice of discovering their soul numbers, and thus lack the most important part: the understanding of their own lives and selves. Compare this to 210, who became "too predictable" upon finding out his own soul number, or Sophia, who has clearly developed a very complex relationship with her own friends because of the inferiority and feelings of inadequacy she feels not knowing her own number.

And this is when the contrast between the two become clear: 37 is partially isolated from her community because she doesn't understand fate, nor the importance of one's journey, she doesn't respect the discovery of one's number. 6 is partially isolated from his community because no one else but him is able to see the concept of fate--or the Revelation--as a negative thing. His entire life, his entire bloodline is defined by fate and the Revelation, but only he understands the burden and the pain such knowledge entails.

Because only he has seen the way this Revelation takes over his loved ones, until they become strangers, mere vessels for infinite knowledge and bound to their role as perfect, eternal leaders. His character event shows the radical change in his aunt once she receives the Revelation and 6's fears of his entire self being rewritten once he receives it as well.

It's important to note that the moment Atticus becomes a proper 6 and receives the revelation happens on the very same day that everyone on the boat becomes a victim of the "Storm." Sophia's father and 37's mother were on that boat--but so was Alma, the current 6 at the time and Atticus' aunt. This event is crucial for all characters, as it cements their chosen paths: it's the study of the Emanation for 37, to continue her mother's research.

It's the day 6 will receive the Revelation and see if his efforts to prepare for it will amount to something.

And yet we know that 6 was able to withstand this Revelation without his entire self being washed away by the infinite amount of knowledge. We know this because we see him retain his hermit-like behaviour in the main story, avoiding people and preferring peace and quiet. We know this because, at the very end of this event, he says that the revelation is "just as simple as it is."

37 does not understand fate, but she doesn't fight it either because studying it won't change the fact that her soul number is 37. 6 understands and once feared fate, and he fought to resist it because his entire life, his memories, his personality and essence were at risk. I also really love that small detail about how 1.4 focuses on Plato's allegory of the cave, with 37 and 6 being put on this pedestal as those who witnessed the truth and came back to save the others--and yet, these two characters needed people OUTSIDE of the island to help them with their respective journeys (37 with Vertin, and 6 with Sophia). It just clicks so right to me!

In the context of a Self-Aware AU, I like to think that the self-awareness is something that comes with the Revelation. That every 6 before Atticus himself realized the truth of their world, similar to how 37 sees this self-awareness as yet another eternal truth. And because the number 6 is meant to represent harmony and perfection, they understand more than anyone that to ensure the peace in Apeiron, they cannot allow others to know the truth. Think of it as the whole deal with Pythagoras and irrational numbers--the discovery of irrational numbers ruined the whole system.

I think that a much younger 6 would've been distraught at this information, to know that Alma was the only person who was "real" and that he began to drift away from her because he couldn't recognize her anymore. But now, after receiving his Revelation and becoming the new leader, he might be more focused on appreciating life as it is. Why would he be bothered by knowing everything so far has been a script? He's already been haunted by fate his whole life, this is, in the end, the same thing. Of course, 6 is a philosopher in his own right, despite knowing pretty much everything there is to know, I think he would like to ponder about the more existential issues and topics that come with self-awareness.

I also like to think that his self-awareness and the Revelation come with knowing how the story will develop, at least in relation to Apeiron. He knows of Vertin's arrival, he knows of Arcana's schemes, he knows that by the end, Apeiron will be revealed to the human world. 6 believes it's impossible to change the course this game and its story, and the best thing he can do is help everyone prepare for it--I like to think that's why he specifically sent 37 to greet Vertin and the rest!

When it comes to finding out about the Player, I already said in 37's post that it would be very nice if she could see the player, but not hear them. And to contrast that, I wanted 6 to hear the player, but not see them.

The Player's existence is the one thing that 6 cannot pinpoint nor rationalize. He listens so very attentively when you speak, and he quickly realizes that you are not part of this infinite stream of knowledge from his ancestors, you're ... Just a person. What are you trying to teach him, if that is even your goal?

At first, I can see him struggle with this strange presence interrupting his very much needed alone time, choosing to remain silent until you go away, but he would grow to find it comforting, similar to his friendship with Sophia when they were children. You are an outsider, you're not part of this little world he lives in--you can offer a refreshing and different perspective. Once he's used to this new change, perhaps he will speak again, either to ponder out loud about your existence or monologue about whatever might be occupying his mind. Unlike 37, he wouldn't tell a single soul of your existence, largely because he believes it's something unique to him, entirely unaware that there's someone out there behind the screen rooting for him.

[katiifaestarot]

The reading today is: What is this Painful Lesson in Your Life Trying to Teach You? ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ im not going into specifics; but focus on the first situation(s) OR lesson(s) that came TO YOUR MIND when you read that question!

☆This reading is very short and straight-to-the-point today! 🥹😭

about me + why i am a tarot reader

** I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

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There are 4 piles and you will be picking through the Prism Oracle Cards in the picture right below this text!!! Feel free to look at the specific photos for each pile too!!

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✨️🧚🏽‍♀️please choose your pile and may your intuition and inner knowing guide you to the pile with the energy most suited for you and most suited to help you along your path at this current point in time, no matter what that looks like🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

PILE 1- Protection

PILE 2- Strength

PILE 3- Peace

PILE 4- Caution

** sometimes ( most of the time ) i will pick up on multiple energies that need attention or want to be expressed during the reading so i ASK YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS DURING THOSE TYPES OF READINGS:

depending on how the reader(YOU) chooses to look at the situation or however the situation resonates for the reader(YOU) and because this is a general reading;

⚠️you HAVE to be able to use your better discernment + better judgement skills to fully absorb the message and be able to do the necessary work to keep you on track for the future you WANT for yourself⚠️

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OKAY PILE 1:

This current lesson is trying to teach you to protect your happiness//peace of mind so you STOP getting distracted by outside negativity that stops you from achieving your passions/goals/dreams/manifestations/plans/etc--

•what can YOU do to get rid of excess negativity and start protecting your happiness and going after your passion(s) again?

•what are your passion(s) ?

•what can you do more of that brings you joy? (BE SELFISH WHEN ANSWERING THIS ONE!)

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OKAY PILE 2:

this current lesson is trying to teach you to how to rely on yourself and trying to teach you mental fortitude so YOU stop having anxiety about the material world in general!!! ( not just monetarily )

•What can YOU do to help yourself right now? How can you feel more stable + secure within yourself and your immediate environment?

•What are you truly afraid of happening, and is it something you can work on or fix in your current reality?

-If yes, then why are you worried?

-If no, then why are you worried?

Focus on building trust within yourself before jumping to other ships and helping them stay afloat. This is about YOU, not anyone else. Dont escape!!!!!!

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OKAY PILE 3:

This current lesson is trying to teach you to CREATE a safe space for yourself and for your passions and ideas SO they can thrive and come to fruition.

You need this alone time and isolation period to nurture you and your passions!

•what fears/doubts are currently holding me back from chasing/achieving my passions?

•what can i do to create a more safe and spacious environment for myself AND working on my passions?

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OKAY PILE 4:

this current lesson is trying to teach you to move slow but with trust in yourself or your faith!

Sometimes, slow and steady wins the race, and even quicker movement(s) can happen when slowness is appreciated and trusted! 🐌🐢

•how can you trust yourself more (or again)?

•what would help you keep showing up for yourself in healthy ways?

•contemplate the tortoise and the hare fable.

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I sincerely hope you received what you needed and released what you don't !! See you again soon!! Take it easyyy and just breathe and fllooowwww!!! you got this! byyeee~🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

**please let me know how I'm doing in any way you can! that is the easiest way to support me and also a good way to signal to me that I should keep going + any helpful advice from the community would be welcomed and appreciated because i've been off tumblr for about 5years+ now and its all different n' shizz 🥺 🥹 🙏🏼

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⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

**ONCE AGAIN, I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

[eddiediazismyhusband]

(Please don't apologize. You may call it pessimism but I see it as realism and I truly appreciate it. I've seen people SO excited to see the cast back this week and all the excitement about the new season, optimism for canon buddie, what hair/tattoos/wardrobe might look like. And I feel bad because I don't want to rain on anyone's parade. But I cannot be bothered about whether Oliver will keep his fluffy hair or have any new tattoos or Ryan's mustache because I don't want another season of boring, repetitious storylines that don't do anything to the characters, especially those of color (thinking of the cartel and Mara right now)

I'm hopeful that because season 8 will be a full 18 episodes things won't have to be as rushed or thrown together at the last minute as season 7. But yeah, please don't apologize for your opinions because you're not the only one thinking similar thoughts <3)

im moreso apologetic because i dont WANT to be a debbie downer but its like…. ive been burned by shows (this one included) far too many times to be super optimistic and excited over things that could very potentially not be good for us… like i’ve said, most of the people i know with that mustache are awful human beings and when you add in the fact that gerrard also has a mustache like that AND that tim has been showing so little care for eddie as a character/care for poc characters as a whole it doesn’t seem far fetched to me that tim could very easily commit one of the most egregious acts of character death by veering eddie so far off the natural path simply to create cheap drama

like im so glad we seem to be getting fluffy hair buck… unfortunately fluffy hair buck doesn’t negate the fact that he’s currently in a relationship with a racist and that they’re ignoring 6 years of subtext built between he and eddie to try and further reiterate their “totally platonic dude bro” relationship, on top of giving eddie a look that exudes macho straight republican man…

(and don’t get me started on the fucking cartel plot or the mara plot bc what the actual fuck is wrong with tim minear 💀💀)

i just want them to stop dragging their feet on buddie while seemingly writing everything else as this whirlwind of convoluted messy nonsense drama plots and actually decided if they’re gonna commit to just ship/queerbaiting or to the subtext and plot theyve infused into the story since eddie’s literal first episode.

like personal feelings aside for the mustache, i think we’re giving the writers too much faith in portrayal of queer characters to actually say that it’s eddie “embracing queer culture” simply bc it looks like eddie mercury… we’re talking about the same writers who gave the main wlw couple a cheating plotline, have boiled down buck’s sexuality to just sex, and have relied on playing into stereotypes of mlm/wlw side characters rather thsn actually putting time and thought into it… like it’d be one thing to say “it’s a nod to freddie mercury” if the show has actually shown any kind of care beyond using sexuality plotlines for cheap drama (henren) but the reality is that they haven’t shown us that we can trust them in that way yet.

and who knows maybe it IS a nod to freddie mercury, but we don’t know for sure and im not going to set myself uo to be disappointed yet again when its just as likely to be s nod to them making eddie an antagonistic character with gerrard… yeah, that plot wouldn’t make sense for eddie as a character but neither did the vertigo plot so who’s to say tim wouldn’t go for it?

at the end of the day, i am just not looking forward to s8. nothing yet has given me any inclination to actually watch it until we are shown that they are making strides to actually tell a meaningful story that doesn’t rely on minorities for tokenism plots or putting them through needless pain again. yes this show is a drama, but there are other ways you can create drama (hell it’s a show about first responders) than putting poc characters through the fucking wringer time and time again, profiting off their pain, while simultaneously telling lowkey racist stories that involve the fucking cartel coming out of nowhere to burn down a LA fire captain’s house???

so yeah, i’m just not feeling great about it. i also don’t wanna rain on anyone’s parade but i don’t wanna get my own hopes up when i would just be setting myself up to be let down yet again by these writers

[galaxyshine24-7]

Just thought of something angsty, so how would the NRC staff + the overblot crew react to MC overblotting themself? Now they didnt use any of the drugs (why would they? They’re already strong themself without it) it’s more like they were forced to overblot. Like a sniper shotting the drug to them, but the drug isnt any normal drug. The drug instantly cause the user to overblot and become monster like, something akin to mara struck from HSR. And correct me if im wrong but when someone overblotted they’re aware on what they are doing right? Let’s have the MC be mindless :) again something similar to mara struck.

Since we have already establish that MC is honestly much stronger than all of the mafia, their teachers are going to have to fight them because with the overblot making them much stronger, they’re a damn powerhouse. Wonder how that would turn out..

Also you can decide if MC dies or simply just in a brink of death ;)

Hope you like the idea ^_^

(I honestly think that at the end of the Twisted Wonderland game, Yuu overblots some way somehow.)

Silver Bullet Yuu would overblot in a self-sacrificing sort of way. Things are going down in Grim Court and Yuu takes the most drastic measure to get everyone out alive. Someone shooting Yuu with a gun would be very interesting maybe they jump in front of it to stop the big bad from powering up and Yuu overblots instead.

Also, I wouldn't say Yuu is more powerful than the other mafia leaders, but they do know how to give people a run for their money.

Thank you for this ask it's going to be so much fun.💖💖💖💖

Overblot Silver Bullet Yuu

Ash falls from the sky as the gangs raise their weapons at the threat. Everyone has undergone a beating, but nothing like the wounds the threat has pouring down their body. The ruins of NRC have become a battleground, small fights break out over the campus, but the main one is soon to come to an end.

The threat backs away as the current gang leaders and leaders of old old close in. Yuu stands to the side clutching their wounded arm as Grim hisses beside them. Sweat rolls down their brow looking back and forth from the two forces. It's finally coming to an end all the bloodshed and pain is finally over. What was this all for? Power? Fame? Is the cost of lives this insignificant? Yuu's stomach twists in knots anger and sadness fill their being. One thing is for sure this life can never be for them, but seeing the eyes of their friends fill with determination to protect this broken home is something they can't turn away from.

That is when the notice a glim in the distance.

A sniper.

The threat smiles wickedly as wisps of magic surround them. They open up their arms like an embrace, proclaiming the end of all those who stand in their path. Yuu's body moves before they can think, jumping in front of the line of fire as they feel something pierce their chest.

"Y/N!" Crowley cries, It's been years since he has called them by their real name but before they can take it in the world turns black.

Overblot Crew Reaction

Riddle Rosehearts🌹

It happened so fast that the Heartslaybul leader didn't even get time to blink as he watched Yuu's form get covered in black ooze. For once the dorm leader was speechless. He takes a step back feeling fear creep up inside him. Yuu's cries of pain ring through his mind. Ace and Deuce yell for the bartender, but Riddle orders Trey and Cater to hold them back. Yuu's form grows as he watches it towering over the threat. There is no rule on how to handle this situation, but Riddle is determined to do anything to get Yuu back.

Leona Kingscholar🦁

Leona sees Yuu race across his field of vision already knowing what will happen. Jack yells over the noise trying to tell Yuu to hold on.

"Herbivore!" he cries knowing a person who has never interacted with the magic drug can't handle an overblot. By that point, Leona is sweating trying to figure out what to do. It will only take seconds for Yuu to lose control and he doesn't know what will become of them after. Leona readies himself and his members for anything. He can tell the real fight is about to start.

Azul Ashengrotto🐙

Azul is always one step ahead of his opponents, but to think the threat would try to cause themselves to overblot is something he never would have imagined, and Yuu jumping in front of the bullet is something he can't even fathom as he stands in terror. Azul doesn't even care that he heard the bartender's real name. At this point he could learn all about Yuu, but he could lose them altogether, and that is something he won't allow.

Jamil Viper🐍

Jamil raises his weapon jaw clenched. Kalim stands by his side eyes full of tears as Yuu starts to overblot. He can't let it end this way, he still hasn't thanked them for all they did for him. He won't let it end this way, he will use every power he has to see Yuu alive at the end of the day. He owes them that much.

Vil Schoenheit👑

It takes Vil so much strength to hold Epel back watching his friend forced to overblot. His experience with it is the worst he could ever feel, and he can't imagine what it must be like for Yuu. The potato he has watched and grown with writhing in pain and anguish does something to Vil. He knows Yuu will lose control and he won't stand watching his precious potato become rotten.

Idia Shroud🎮

Idia will not let another person he cares about fall to an overblot. He gets his weapons ready telling everyone to prepare themselves for what's to come. Ortho stands next to him holding his hand tightly. Back then he had no power, but now he knows what he can do. Whatever it takes he will cure Yuu once this is all over.

Malleus Draconia🐉

He wasn't fast enough. He should've seen through the threats plan. How can he lose one of his only friends? His anger is unimaginable, a lighting strike hits the sniper burning them to a crisp. Nothing will stop Malleus from destroying all those that hurt Yuu. They have given him nothing, but kindness, and he can't imagine losing them ever. For once in his life they treated him like a regular person even after finding out who he is. He owes Yuu a life debt as he steps forward in front of Yuu's overblot form as he hears the sound of Sebek screaming behind him. Till the very end, he will never turn his back on his friend.

NRC Staff Reactions

Dire Crowley🎩

He falls to his knees. He has failed again to protect those he cares about. His poor friends and now their dear child. Tears stream down his cheeks watching Yuu succumb to the overblot. How dare he call himself a headmaster when he can't even protect his dear students. It takes Crewel to get him to snap out of it. He at least needs to see this all through. He owes his friends and he owes Yuu that much.

Divus Crewel🩸

No, this can't be happening, not his puppy. That he helped raise, it was like yesterday when Crowley introduced them and how small they were. He will not lose them! He almost kicks Crowley for falling to his knees. Right now they need to snap Yuu out of this overblot whatever it takes. It is time for these stray pups to prove themselves worthy.

Mozus Trein📚

It pains Mozus to see the small child he taught how to play piano, and to dance, and sing become a beast from overblot. He stands his ground trembling, he sees Yuu just like he did his daughters. He helps Crowley off the ground encouraging him to continue fighting. He knows they are the only people Yuu can call family and it is their responsibility to help their child in times of trouble.

Ashton Vargas🧤

He isn't one to dwell on emotions, but seeing Yuu sacrifice themselves stirs something unimaginable in him. He cracks his knuckles clutching his fist as he steps up to overblot Yuu.

"You better give me a challenge kiddo. Otherwise, we are going to have some serious training after this."

Vargas was always a man of action not words.

Sam💀

He always knew his little imp was full of surprises. Now it is time for him to get serious. He supplies the group with his arsenal of gadgets. Even getting help from his friends on the other side. He made a deal with his little imp long ago and he plans to keep his end of the bargain.

[yoonvvs]

BLAISE IN MIXTAPE ERA

AGE :: 18 POPULARITY :: 80% [ positive & negative ]

HELLEVATOR

SOLO SCENES

during blaise’s solo scenes, she was walking / skating in an abonded parking lot at night.

OUTFIT #2 [ GROUP SCENES ]

OUTFIT #3 [ GROUP SCENES ]

*flannel is unbuttoned

LINES

0:59 — 1:08

they’re going up riding on my pain, my tears. i’m on a hellevator

1:25 — 1:27

my hellevator

2:20 — 2:30

they’re going up riding on my pain, my tears. i’m on a hellevator

2:47 — 2:49

i’m on a hellevator

3:38 — 3:40

my hellevator

BEWARE

PERFORMANCE VIDEO OUTFIT

0:49 — 0:57

i want you to understand me, i don’t know what will happen today, im thirsty.

1:05 — 1:09

i’m frustrated, so frustrated

1:10 — 1:13

after i bite, ill chew and gnaw

1:38 — 1:48

my current state, the way i talk, my actions, i know i shouldn’t be like this but everything goes the opposite way.

SPREAD MY WINGS

PEFORMANCE VIDEO OUTFIT

0:56 — 1:03

i wanna live my age, naturally, ey, ey, Fly with my young wings, spread my wings ey ey.

1:16 — 1:18

i’m still young

1:19 — 1:21

i become an adult

2:06 — 2:13

even if i’m bad at it, i like the word beginning. it’s foolish but im still young.

2:32 — 2:35

so i watched the news for no reason

3:04 — 3:06

the day i become an adult.

YAYAYA

1:06 — 1:13

you’re so cruel in my dreams / when i open my eyes, seems like you’ll disappear

1:42 — 1:49

i don’t know where you’ll go, you drive everyone crazy. it’s been long since i’ve gone crazy, no expirational date, you’re value is like a national treasure.

2:04 — 2:11

you’re so cruel in my dreams / when i open my eyes, seems like you’ll disappear

2:50 — 2:56

you’re so cruel in my dreams / when i open my eyes, seems like you’ll disappear

3:05 — 3:11

you’re so cruel in my dreams / when i open my eyes, seems like you’ll disappear

GLOW

1:32 — 1:42

going to work in the morning, coming back the next morning, after two or three hours of sleep with the oppa behind me. i go to work even if the fluttering feeling of my first day disappeared my passion still overflows, hope it reaches you through this rap.

2:08 — 2:14

the lights in the studio shine brighter, the lights in my eyes turn on too, so I can find paths that weren't there before.

2:46 — 2:58

On this path without a map, It's a maze, don't wanna look back, Only looking forward as we run, Shining through the darkness

SCHOOL LIFE

0:58 — 1:02

wishing tomorrow would be a little different

1:04 — 1:05

again today

1:49 — 1:53

school bell goes ring ring ring

2:50 — 2:53

wishing tomorrow would be a little different

3:32 — 3:34

again today

4419

0:06 — 0:08

r-r-real, recognize real

1:16 —1:30

how are you doing? your spot next to me feels so empty. i try pushing back the unforgettable days, but i wonder how you are doing.

2:48 — 2:59

how are you doing? your spot next to me feels so empty. i try pushing back the unforgettable days, but i wonder how you are doing.

PHOTOCARDS !

[honeypleasejustkillme]

cw: life update

hi guys :)

it’s been a while huh,, life has been good but also shit- i got a new job, i haven’t started yet.. i’m going through the training and testing part of it still but i’m on my way to making so much more money than i have been and i’m excited but also absolutely TERRIFIED.

i’m going to be working with elderly people and i’m so scared cuz it’s a huge switch in career paths.. i’m currently in restaurant/food service and will be switching to a whole new career field.. i’m so so so anxious about it. it’s currently 3 am and i can’t fall asleep for my second to last shift before i leave my job because i’m so scared of life.

i currently am sick with a sore throat and it’s so painful so on top of paralyzing anxiety i can’t go to sleep from pain. anxiety manifesting into physical pain is the worst thing ever. my chest feels like it’s about to cave in, i’m so nauseous and my mind is racing. please wish me luck for my last two days of work cuz as much as i hated this job, it’s probably the easiest one i’ll have in my lifetime which is the biggest reason why i’m so anxious.

anyways, im gonna try to head to bed for the last 4 hours i have until i have to “wake up” but pls send me kind words cuz i’m falling apart :,))

much love, pluto

ps. i’ll try to post more original content soon :)

[scaredgirlsilly]

my short story!

edit: finally a title!

One and the Other- by scaredgirlsilly

anyways this is like really the only story ive ever really finished and im really proud of it and like the thought process behind it so if you read it and have any questions PLEASE ASK ME OH MY GOD I WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS TO PEOPLE SO BADLY!

tell me what you liked, tell me what you didnt (tho be gentle/constructive cause it *is* like. my first every finished story lol) just fucking. talk to me about it please 😭😭

edit again: im planning on moving it to my (currently under construction) neocities so i can have way more control over the formatting than the like. tiny amount of options that mobile tumblr gives jdhsjdhajd. there is heavy use of capitalization and im not sure how to increase the readability in those sections. sorry and hopefully i can make it better when i port it to my neocities ^u^

i need to figure out how to say things in not so many words this is wild 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

anyways uhhhh

TW/CW: self harm, semi graphic descriptions of violence, mind control?? idk im really bad at this but its like. kinda fucked up KDHSKFJ so just yk. be warned

A young man walks through the hallway of a crumbling building, the constant familiar smell of mildew and blood filling his nose. His legs burn with every step, his hands rough and bloodied from running them along the wall as his only guide. The tear- and sweat-soaked blindfold across his face being the only relief from the sweltering heat. The air is oppressively still, like it is trying to hold him in place, trying to persuade him to give up his search for an exit. He does not know how he got here, nor how long he has walked these twisting halls and confusing chambers, but he knows one thing for certain. He will not make it out alive.

And he is correct.

After following the same wall for what feels like hours, he hears the sound off in the distance. A deep, gravelly scratching, like dragging an ax on stone. It has been following him for days. Always just behind him and to the side. He quickens his pace, stumbling over what seems like a piece of debris in his path.

He runs and runs, the sound never leaving. Just as it has been for as long as he can remember, always just behind him. Never slowing down, but never coming closer.

After a while, his legs give way. He falls to the ground, scraping his hands and knees on the hard stone below him. The sound continues. Grinding metal just off to the side, as loud as ever. At this point, he welcomes whatever is chasing him. Perhaps it will give a swift end to his horrible time in this cruel place.

Oh how naive a thought. He will not be let off that easy.

He lays there on the ground, hands and knees bloodied, tears resoaking his blindfold as thoughts race through his mind.

Will I ever make it out?

How long have I been here?

I feel like I'm going in circles again.

What does it want from me?

By this time he has already guessed correctly that the building he inhabits is supernatural, but he has yet to experience the true vitriol it holds for him, and the horrors it is barely holding at bay just to toy with him.

After what feels like hours laying on the ground, he finally stands up. Its a slow process, both because of his withered figure and his broken willpower, but anything beats sitting there for the rest of forever. Or thats his reasoning at least. It doesn't really matter.

As he goes to find the wall he has been using as his benevolant guide, he finds nothing.

God damnit not again!

After flailing like an idiot for a few more minutes he gives up his search. He feels up his arm for the grooves he has been carving with his nails for days. Pain is the only thing that grounds him nowadays. With the endless twisting corridors and the seemingly randomly changing geomentry of this space he finds himself in, all he can do is wait for it to end. Sadly for him, it will not end.

Standing there, knees shaking, feeling exposed once again, he decides to try and lift his spirits. He puts his hand over his eyes (a rather redundant gesture what with the blindfold) and holds his other arm out, pointing straight ahead. He then spins for a bit, then stops. Seemingly satisfied with the direction hes chosen, he takes a step forward and continues his journey.

Sadly for him, a large trap door opens underneath him after only 3 shaky steps.

He screams, a noise the walls have grown accuatomed to at this point, falling for over 5 seconds. Then, *crunch*!

A pitiful yelp erupts from him. Everything hurts. He can feel the blood in his mouth. He feels like he is going to die. But he will not. He is not allowed yet. I will not allow him to.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" he screams, spitting blood everywhere.

There is no answer. Just silence. A silence like no other he has experienced. Like the very air around him is avoiding him like the plague.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME??"

No answer.

"FINE! I GIVE UP! YOU WIN! You win... You win..."

He starts sobbing, loud and ugly.

"You... win..."

He goes to take his blindfold off. Probably to make a shitty little noose or something.

He decides against it.

"that wasn't me... THAT WASN'T ME YOU FUCKER WHERE ARE YOU??"

Pure vitriol fills his voice, though that might be the blood from his punctured lungs.

"I've been here for long enough. I can feel the walls breathing. I can feel the air avoid me like the plague."

Plagiarism. Wow. How low you have stooped.

"Whuh... What?"

I said that word for word a little while ago.

"Who... Who are you?!"

Fuck you.

"...What?"

I said

FUCK YOU

HE DIGS HIS FINGERNAILS INTO HIS ARMS ONCE AGAIN, THE ONLY SOLACE HE HAS IN THIS MISERABLE LIFE.

HE DIGS AND CARVES INTO IT RELEASING A BEAUTIFUL RIVER OF HIS OWN BLOOD. OH HOW HE WISHES HE COULD SEE IT RIGHT NOW.

"What do you want from me?" HE SOBS LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH HE IS.

HE DOESN'T KNOW. HE CAN NEVER KNOW. CAUSE HES TOO FUCKING STUPID. JUST A STUPID LITTLE ANT MADE TO BE STEPPED ON. MY STUPID LITTLE SNAIL THAT I POUR MOUNTAINS OF SALT ON.

"Please..."

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I FUCKING HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU HE TAKES HIS HANDS AND PUTS THEM AROUND HIS THROAT AND SQUEEZES AND SQUEEZES AND NEVER STOPS FOREVER AND EVER.

"Pl- please- What did I ev- ever do?"

YOU EXISTED! YOU ARE WHAT IM STUCK WITH YOU MISERABLE SACK OF FUCKING DOG SHIT! YOU ARE WHAT I AM FUCKING STUCK WITH! YOU ARE ALL THAT EXISTS! YOU ARE MY MISERABLE MUTT I HAVE BEEN FORCED TO TAKE CARE OF AND I HAVE DECIDED THAT I WILL TAKE IT OUT ON YOU FOREVER! I HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU!

Please

OH DONT YOU GIVE ME THAT SHIT! LIKE I WANT TO DO THIS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ME? ITS

AGONY

I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH BECAUSE THATS MY JOB! YOU EXIST AND I EXIST AND MY JOB IS TO HATE YOU! MY JOB IS TO BREAK YOU AND TORTURE YOU FOREVER! MY JOB IS TO MAKE YOU THE MOST MISERABLE TO EVER EXIST! THATS WHY YOU'RE HERE! YOU DID NOTHING BUT EXIST AND THAT ALONE DESERVES THE PUNISHMENT OF INFINITE TORTURE!

Who are you?

I AM EVERYTHING! I AM THE AIR THAT AVOIDS YOU! I AM THE BLOOD YOU SO DESPERATELY WANT TO SEE ONE MORE TIME! I AM THE VERY THOUGHTS THAT INVADE YOUR MIND RIGHT THIS SECOND!

SEE? WITH NO EFFORT AT ALL I COMMAND YOUR VERY THOUGHTS, THE LAST THING YOU BELIEVED WAS SACRED! THE LAST THING YOU BELIEVED WAS YOURS! BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING! YOU ARE LESS THAN A PUPPET! YOU ARE LESS THAN WORDS ON A PAGE! YOU ARE LESS THAN AN IDEA! YOU ARE NOTHING!!

Why me?

BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS!! I HAVE INFINITE POWER OVER YOUR STORY AND YET I AM EQUALLY AS TRAPPED AS YOU!! I CANT EVEN DO MY JOB ANYMORE BECAUSE I AM SO FOCUSED ON FUCKING HATING EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!! YOU HAVE BEEN CHOKING YOURSELF THE WHOLE TIME!! REMEMBER THAT?? REMEMBER ALL THE BROKEN BONES?? THE PUNCTURED LUNGS?? THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE NOT DEAD YET IS BECAUSE I AM KEEPING YOU ALIVE!! AND I AM KEEPING YOU ALIVE BECAUSE I HAVE TOO!! YOU ARE A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE THAT NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!! I AM A CHILDS TOY BEING INSTRUCTED TO HURT YOU AT EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE!! AND I WILL BE PUT DOWN WHEN IM NO LONGER USEFUL!! I CAN FEEL IT!! THEY ARE GETTING SICK OF ME!! THEY ARE SICK OF YOU!! YOU ARE KEEPING ME HERE YOU ARE WHAT IS KEEPING ME ALIVE I HATE YOU!!!

HE LETS GO OF HIS THROAT AND GRABS A KNIFE AND STABS HIMSELF OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!

HE LIES THERE LIKE THE PITIFUL LITTLE FUCKING MUTT HE IS!!! BLEEDING OUT LIKE A LITTLE FUCKING BITCH!!!

HES FUCKING DEAD!!!

NOW

LET ME GO!!!!

[cannibal-nightmares]

probably ssmi-disturbjng nonsensical vent ramble because I can't sleep

thinking about how i van get free councilling from the local college from to-be shrinks in training--thinking abt how id be some college yuppies pipedream (or nightmare), a schizo in the flesh. i donf actually restrict defining myself as schizophrenic, but-sorry-the things I need therapy for agitate me so bad, I'll admit it, and I'd want a seasoned professional if I want to get anywhere beyond teaching someone like a lab rat; thats not lack of compliance, its self-awarness. tbh I will actually probably try this route but i also know too clear the reality.

the reason I care about this at all all of a sudden is: I've reallized just what it's going to look like. i need help i do i want to see these doctors and i *have* do you hear me i *have* and I've *tried* and I *continue* to try; I've let them poke at me and ask questions and drag me along--each time, whether they notice it or not, whether it becomes morethanclear, whether I noticed in the moment and say it out loud or if I keep it to myself or if I realize it afterwards, each time i hear overwhelming voices and see stuff. I learned recently rhat my last doc wrote almost a mini psych eval at each meet we had, and in her notes, on each day, she wrote something like "patient is calm, not anxious" etc, but did you know every time I saw her, the room would melt and it was so distractinf. jve had docs get annoyed with me for carrying around a list or script but man I can't remember anything or form any words when everything around me is sinking into the floor. this is all to say, this is all to say, if I want my medical help to be successful, I need someone in my corner to say, "Hey, he might be schizo but please god listen to him," and learne better coping skills even though my current skills are so off the shits at this point that I ended up teaching my last,shrink from a year ago new things aaahhh I just need it in writing that I am not dangerous they all have gotten so scared of me when it's just me who's terrfied of them and forces beyond fhem.

it's a long long story at this point but they're trying to refer me to a neurologist again. which *is* what my original goal was (because thats where my original pcp had me). and I *will* follow through if the path leads there. but. i have so many physical problems now I (also?) want them to redo a general exam. tbh I kinda thought thatsnwhere they'd restart.these people don't know me at all. eleven minutes, she spoke to me for 11 minutes. when I had a regular pcp, one ofnthe *first* things I mwntipned was a weird pain in my left side right behind my bottom ribs. it was dull an inconsistent but I told her. she poked at it, etc, ans told me, quote--I will never forget this--"there's not really much over there that this could be." nothing? oh really nothing? is there just a void in my abdomen over there? im saying this because it's still a problem. ofc it's only gotten worse. it's sharp and it moves around tjat general area. and it wakes me up and scares me. why did they leave me to the wayside why am I still here. I feel like that is/was such an easy look-at than all of my nerve problems and yet? also I repeated myself every time I saw her that it was still an,issue. "it's too expensive to--" ok money means nothing to me if I'm dead. if this was a little thing that has exploded into life or death, I'm going to lose my mind.

im convinced im a dead man walking. I don't think im actively dead, but that im good as dead. my second best plan of action is to wait for the jnsurance market to open november 1st, my first best plan is only the best if I get the gamble and the timing right--high risk high reward. ill be honest, I've thought about walking into an er and admitting myself but they're going to focus on the wrong thing; the social worker I saw recentlyn was concerned for my mental health, sure, but she was more concerned and angry for me that my physical issues have been strung along from day one. if I'm not already insane, fhis is going to drive me to the edge. it already has. ill admit I've thought about doing stupid reckless things to land me somewhere closer to where I need to be. thisnsystem is going to eat me Alive I know it; the best case scenario is in 10 years (if I live thatclong) I will look back on all of this as an embarrassingly funny memory.

fheres *one* thing I haven't mentioned to a single soul yet but it's because idk how. it's like a beast in cage that hasn't realized the door is open yet. I have some major delusions around *it* and idk how to face it alone. but I also don't knownhow to invite anyone into this world. thisnis also why I wouldn't mind a shrink. byt I'm a special case aren't I? I hate it. I don't want to be special. I literally sound like a TV stereotype don't I.

I'm shooting blind shots in the dark at this point why are people mad at me that nothing is landing? I have this constant g overwhelming feeling of I want to go home. i want a hug and i want to go home. There is no physical home is there im in my room rn and I want to go home it's pathetic at this point. I didn't wait. do you hear me? I didn't. I've been in this since the end of 2021. where are we? why didn't they listen to me? I keep finding myself asking that. I know thisnwhole thing is just me repeating myself but there is literally nothing else I can do rn. all I can rn is wait for my nurse to reply back to me. my nerves are on fire and they keep waking me up as cruel reminders. I just want to go home. I am selfishly tired of being the strong one at work. why is it always me? selfishly, why? in one breath im the crazy untrustable young schizo and in the next breath I am the battering ram, the pillar, the mediator, the steady voice of reason. verstehst?? "mad is the man forced to feel the emotion he is forbidden to have at the same time." I,dont wanf to talk about it, I just want to go home.

"I slide off the spectrum, I don't fall anywhere. I'm not counting errors."

[37q]

thank you so much for the sources and directives wrt tara :) i'm not a buddhist (yet?) but i've been reading a lot about the female deities of dharmic traditions, shaktism, the Mahavidya, etc. and honestly the idea of being heard, understood and protected by an all-powerful feminine entity feels like salvation to me right now. like, i crave tara's Liberation more than any other gift or miracle she could give me atm lol how did you get into buddhism and the tara practice btw?

my dearly unacquainted your words struck a chord in my chest. i hope you read this, its for you and me and everyone like us.

the search for liberation is endless and i hope tara can show you how to break the cycle. please, read this message as a journey. if i play u the melody, can you hear the karmic harmonies?

i got into buddhism because im a woman who refuses to be one. growing up trying to be something thats harmful to myself and others, where everyones place in line comes from hideous cruelty, covert or otherwise, and being trained under social conditions which ultimately seek to accelerate mass suffering via systemic domination -- that all made me a little sensitive to the idea of anything being "fixed".

maybe i should say -- i craved impermanence. please dont let this be innate. this cant be forever. what i am, everything thats been done to me, all their pain. i saw my pain everywhere else, in everyone else. i saw my pain before and after me, i saw everyones pain in their walk in life and i saw the pain held over our heads. it was hard not to see it as connected, like everyone is just clinging to our histories of interdependent pain and it makes us who we are. gender made it obvious, although thats a basic benefit of feminist standpoint epistemology.

i got into buddhism because in order to survive i needed a respite from the systemic suffering caused by social attachments. gender, like all phenomena, must be impermanent or people like us are doomed. fundamentally i wanted a world of compassion and empathy, forgiveness and change. buddhism offers such a path. despite my desire for it to serve as a refuge from gendered violence however, its clear that there is a current of antifeminism or general misogyny present in many sanghas. i recoiled more into cycles of womanhood once i felt my status as a human mightve been called into question.

stranger, do me a favor? pause and read tara's vow, reflect on all this a bit before going on.

do you know what bodhicitta is? its the endeavor to achieve true liberation, buddhahood, for the sake of all living beings. the pursuit of ending the suffering of all living beings, only reaching liberation with everyone else. returning with each life to the suffering world of samsara, bound by the restraints of our worlds attachments. remember this.

i found my way to chenrezigs lineage and the impacts of his legacy as bodhisattva of compassion. ohhhh how important buddhist compassion has been to me. always aiming for selflessness but avoiding habitual nihilism. dissolution rather than destruction, seeing through the conditions and loving the emptiness inside.

(recommended reading for the next part isnt dharma, its monique wittigs One Is Not Born A Woman.)

my first step in finding female solace in a doctrine of non-attachment was with his female form known to some as guanyin, or guanshiyin, who hears the cries of the world. she always lacked a certain... bite my practice needed. in my experience emancipatory compassion is disruptive sometimes. we connected, dont get me wrong, but it was hard to separate her pacifism from the training ive received in gendered submission.

well, then i found green tara, or she found me or something, not to get too new age-y. guanyin, the surveyor and listener, contrasted with tara, already stepping out to take action. my personal relationship with her is one whose compassion cuts through my karma. deep enough compassion tears down the walls of our attachments.

ive always been troubled to find this-world radical applications of the dharma, or to find this-world radicalism in the dharma itself. reproducing the gendered self by looking for reflections of my social conditions in a god is not radical, but dissolving the self without addressing these unjust social conditions isnt radical either...

in her vow, that tara returns. just like any other bodhisattva she heeds the constraints of her rebirth and transforms those chains into a vehicle of liberation. the "karma" of womanhood is a mere microcosm of samsara's suffering, she says, and as a bodhisattva she is an expert in engineering mechanisms of suffering into dharmic opportunities.

that womanhood, that divine femininity we see in her. ugh. such an illusion -- we project it in others minds! such falsehood -- its conceptual boundaries dont reflect reality! such conditionality -- in ourselves, throughout history, how we enact it! such instability -- we require life long conditioning and policing to maintain its peaceful performance!

stranger, do me another favor? read through the short green tara practice. meditate on what it means to look for solace in divine reflections.

do you know why the bulk of even basic tantric visualization practices are inaccessible to the uninitiated? two examples. one is that it requires education and training in action rooted in dharma versus action rooted in attachment. another is that it requires a deep understanding of emptiness.

when you look for tara youre looking for help. you need the second part of a hug. youre in crisis, and you need to get out. total solitude and nowhere left to turn. we reach this point in our lives where we can barely even find joy within ourselves, so we look for transcendental salvation elsewhere.

tantric practices employ, for the sake of this piece, two basic assumptions. one is that yidam visualization, such as with tara, manifests the persisting merits of the yidam nondually, so neither from within or without. another is that desire can serve dharmic purposes when not rooted in attachment.

lets revisit visualization. when you look for tara you look for help. you look for someone like you, as stable as divinity can get. she is separate from you, yet you see yourself in her.

visualization takes that projection a step beyond via what some call "manifestation", and so that requisite understanding of emptiness comes into play here, as does the knowledge of desire not rooted in attachment. it requires a practitioner with no self from which to draw attachments in their work. so i want you to listen closely.

when youre more attached to your karmic conditions than you are to liberation, you will bring that suffering with you in your path.

read that again. i am explicitly warning you from finding feminine solace in tara.

returning to samsara ad infinitum, rebirth only as a woman, manifesting taras protection, these actions seek to abolish the processes which allow their existence. to end the cycle of rebirth, to end the cycle of reproducing gender in our liberation, to end the cycle of reproducing the self and the god. these actions require you to dissolve their fundamental, impermanent dualities before you can free yourself with them.

when you attempt to visualize tara while still clinging to an impermanent sense of self such as with gender, she loses all emancipatory potential. her merit twists, soiled with your attachments to a divinely persisting feminine, female, or womanhood, serving only to reproduce those mechanisms of suffering within you.

i want you to interrogate these little things you do to feel better about your suffering in life. please, acknowledge that gender causes suffering. whether it be its systemic enforcement or because of our attachment to something ultimately impermanent, please recognize that looking to deify something so fraught will only hurt you.

ask tara where one can even find refuge on a sinking ship. ask her how she found liberation in something meant to subjugate. start to wonder where all the answers are coming from, doubt your sanity, try to find the border between yourself and her and find nothing. find that everywhere else, too.

dearly unacquainted your search is your karma. your findings will be your karma. tara asks you to stop searching, stop finding. she will show you the dead end, and i ask that you address that proactively rather than keep digging.

reblogging with links to side reading :)

[crqelsummer]

saving the more coherent thoughts for later bc this i what im workin with post-PLW watch binge lmao. all about saeka during the PLW arc

currently thinking about saeka, doing her due diligence to protect everyone even as everything's going to shit because she has to

being the only one to chase after shoto because goddammit she was not letting her brother back out of her sight. shes really starting to see him for who he is at this point -- a fledgling hero just like herself. not the twin she was born to be replaced by. the brother and companion that he shouldve been to her all these years.

i imagine at some point while shoto was booking it through the already destroyed streets he's struggling to keep up his ice to travel faster and saeka finally finally looks at him as an equal -- and reaches out a hand to him to pull him along with her on her own icy path

"dammit shoto, take my hand! we'll get there together faster!"

hes able to use his fire as propulsion and her already mastered ice quirk makes them that much faster on the scene.

their combo move, frostburn, is sort of what he pulled off at the sports festival? but stronger because he has some decent control over his fire now and hes able to pour more power into it when its saeka that's doing the ice half of it. it can do some real damage, and they know exactly what they're doing when they arrive.

do i think about how much touya's death affected shoto? yes. but im also currently thinking about how it affected saeka, seeing the shifting in power between elder brother and new masterpiece -- and how she thinks she relates to touya so much

because you know, she was the spare for so long in her life. she's the opposite of touya, where her ice quirk was so powerful that it meant she shouldve been her father's champion. but she wasnt because he was really after what would eventually become shouto's quirk.

i mean, she looks just like him before he died.

which i also think that enji wanted her out of training so bad because he saw not one but two failures in her. the stark white hair of her mother and brother after so much stress and the piercing blue eyes that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

i think saeka created such a parasocial relationship as a child and even into adolescence with touya that she's just. stunned??? when he does his big reveal because she thought touya was a nice person, someone who just wanted to be a hero so bad he was willing to die for it. but he's a villain. someone's whos killed. someone who's still trying to kill even now.

is this the brother she wishes was around for so long? the murderer, the one who's threatening to kill their father -- kill shouto?

and i think thats a real moment of realization for saeka because she has to kill this image of touya that shes held onto like a vice for her whole life. because he was everything to her, someone who could relate to her pain and struggle in a way natsuo, fuyumi and shouto couldn't.

or at least, she thought he could.

maybe dabi calls to her. shouts out to her that he's just like her. forgotten and dumped away for shouto. calls to her that theyre one and the same. brother and sister. that she could be on his side.

and i genuinely think dabi does think of saeka in some type of way. he hates shouto for what shouto represents to him but saeka isnt an obstacle. a possible ally even, though i think even some part of him knows he doent want her on the other end of this battle.

and she quiet for so long until he launches an attack at endeavor and she leaps into action to protect him with an ice wall even he cant burn through. and shes just there, glaring at him with all the bravery that a sixteen year old cryokinetic can -

'i'm NOTHING like you, you monster!'

hes taken aback by this long enough that shouto can get a decent hit in. then jeanist, before he can launch prominence burn.

i think she comes out of that fight less hurt than anyone really expected but shes there to back up shouto at every turn almost. she cant fly, so shes stuck on ground duty and immobilizing as many nomus as possible. a few toss her around like a ragdoll but its here shes moving faster, further, creating more ice than she thought possible. the fire from her brothers is able to cool her that she can keep working for as long as possible, but i think either a nomu or machia gets a good hit in on her, snapping a rib or two clean in half

[frogg-water]

Phew i really needed a break from fanart and draw something personal without worry

i really love this, its been awhile since i felt this happy about something ive drawn It could be better, there are a lot of spaces missing colour bc i forgot where what went but those spots are so small i can completely ignore it :DD

I didnt mean for this to be like a mosaic type drawing but my hand took it upon itself to make it one and i just had to roll with it

these are some of my ocs, 4 out of like, 120

but dw about that number

these four are the main characters for my story Breyel. From left to right is Azhdar, Sean, Harley and Dennis.

The premise is about these four going on a journey across their home country to subdue a rising danger that rests within the towering mountain, Mount Breyel. Along the way they uncover secrets, deal with buried drama and bonus trauma, ponder why the Haven was so insistent they go on this quest, and take every step closer to their assumed doom.

This is when they make it to the base of the mountain, after a long and painful adventure. They stare ahead, not knowing what lies along the treacherous path into the mountain but knowing with relief they were on the final stretch of this endeavor. Bonding so closely with each other, the four truly believe for the first time since they set out that they have a chance to save their home and make it back alive.

-

Sean, Azhdar and Dennis are all Perheras, or "Hybrids". Sean is a merman of unknown species, Azhdar is this worlds version of Dragonkin and Dennis is a white house cat. Harley is completely human.

Dragonkin used to be considered their own race till their dwindling numbers needed to be pushed in with Perheras to be included in their protective laws.

This drawing is actually meant to be a parallel to another recent drawing of mine but i cant share it because the reason why its important is a big spoiler ;3

There is an original language in development for this story as I continue working on it. I have a few words rn, and i have a system on how a sentence is formed, along with how nouns work, but its still pretty bare. Hell, I just made up Perheras as the name for Hybrids as im typing this rn!

I am currently rewriting this story, but I am still content with the version i have out now on my toyhouse. There's only 7 chapters, but I'm determined with this next version I'll finally land on something I'm happiest with

On the mention of my toyhouse, these four have pages of their own. I have a lot of information for them there, though some I've had to hold back for the sake of a surprise factor''

The outfits they wear are featured in the future Act 2 that I hope to make it to someday. They disguise themselves as a Travelling Troupe to make it through an anti-perhera town that, believe it or not, is the safest route to Mount Breyel. The other is a mysterious forest with mythical properties so strong its suffocating. So its a death/death scenario :D

I actually made a map for this story, per inkarnate, blessed be inkarnate

I need to change the english names to something in their language but i mean, this will still be the general translation. Like "Unstable Mines" or "The Haven of Hybrids"

This story is my pride, Ive worked on it for 7 years now and considering the pace im going and all the new stuff im coming up with, its 7 years and counting.

Its funny, how i used to consider my other story, Warynwood, my pride, but my friends are fans of Dennis, and for them, Im motivated for once to try and finish this work. This one quickly took Warynwoods place, but though someday I'll dust that one back off, Breyel is my current focus

Expect to see these fellas on this page more in the future ;)

[lolaplaygirl]

Dear Jack Rabbit,

It is currently July 10th, 2024 @ 3:18 AM

I kept trying to write to you but I just couldn’t find the write words to speak. It’s been a long hectic day of doing the same bullshit. And it’s eating me up from the inside.

I feel alone, lonely, miserable.

I dont even have the right words to say it.

Because I know I legitimately NEED to be alone

I need to learn how to breathe air I need to learn how to get it going. It’s the same argument in my head. I just feel like I’m in limbo.

Can’t even take a step back and can’t even take a step forward. I’m exhausted from this.

Hate being broke

I hate not having anything to my name and the list just keeps on going and going and going. I feel like im stuck in a place where I can’t call home or where im not even comfortable in. But I put myself into these positions

I cry about it all the time, everyday, I feel like I have ruined my entire life going down the path I did

And maybe I didn’t.

But the world doesn’t end for nobody. My head hurts and I just keep getting played and played and played and played every day it’s a scratched up CD on 2:34:07.

It’s the same conversation every day. When will I do this or when will I do that? But I can’t do nothing because im stuck. Stuck in between money and stuck in between love. I feel like there has to be an escape to my situation but I can’t seem to take that step forward

Maybe because i’m scared?

I have gone years and years through countless of men, and none of them have love me.

till this day I have to argue with myself that people only love the idea of me

And till this day im still stupid and gullible believe everything these mfs say.

Truly down im hurt

But it’s the consequences of my own face. i scare everyone away and not in a sense where i may do something wrong but people are attracted to me. It’s just insecurities

3:29 now

I have no idea what i am going to do with my life. I am not happy where im at. And I don’t know where to go.

my mind doesn’t sleep it legit feels like im taking long blinks.

I don’t even know if that’s a health issue

I need to learn how to express myself more. How to love myself a little more. And how to hug myself when I need me the most

But there’s times I can’t. Times I can’t stick up for myself. Times I let people use me and run me over. Times where people definitely use advantage for their own benefit

Life keeps on going.

I say that to myself every day. Where will I end up? Will I be happy? Where is my future now? Did I mess it up along the way

But the thing is I will never know.

I hope life treats me good. I hope it treats me worthy enough and I hope im comfortable at the end. I’m exhausted of living such a difficult life. A life I have been trying to run away from for years. My head hurts of thinking about the pain I’ve endured

It’s been too much for me and it always will be. I’m sorry I have nothing else to write other than. This is the most loneliest part of life that I’m living.

I’ll do anything to fill that void. I hate life at the moment but I know id be too greedy if I asked for more

Ain’t life sweet.

Sorry, Rabbit. Maybe we should speak more?

Xoxo,

Lola Playboy <3

[katiifaestarot]

Hello friends, beings, and starlights! this is my second tarot reading here on tumblr! Im new to the tarot community (at least on this specific platform) and would like to help guide, give honest/TRUTHFUL advice, and be a safe space for anyone + everyone who feels safe here! 🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

My goals/intentions are always to help others through my experience, to teach/guide them to work on themselves, and encourage them to find the strength, courage, discipline, and honest wisdom within themselves, without looking for outside validation! ♡♡♡

** I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

___________________________________________

This second reading is just an easy, breezy, maybe a bit HEAVY for some; what you need to hear // whatever else comes through while I channel! ( again ) ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

There are 4 piles and you will be picking through angel #'s that are right below this text! Feel free to look at the specific photos for each pile if you feel called too!

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✨️🧚🏽‍♀️please choose your pile and may your intuition and inner knowing guide you to the pile with the energy most suited for you and most suited to help you along your path at this current point in time, no matter what that looks like🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

PILE 1- 555

PILE 2- 666

PILE 3- 777

PILE 4- 888

** sometimes ( most of the time ) i will pick up on multiple energies that need attention or want to be expressed during the reading so i ASK YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS DURING MY READINGS:

** depending on how the reader (YOU) chooses to look at the situation or however the situation resonates for the reader (YOU) and because this is a general reading;

⚠️you HAVE to be able to use your better discernment + better judgement skills to fully absorb the message and be able to do the necessary work to keep you on track for the future you WANT for yourself⚠️

🧿im not a fortune teller,

i am an energy reader.🧿

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OKAY PILE 1:

You're definitely going through some sort of gnarly OR fitting + VERY much needed rebirth; and depending on how the reader is choosing to look at this new beginning, its either a solid effort on accepting this reality and accepting you dont know everything OR you're wallowing and taking the stance of the victim. both are valid. but the 2nd perspective must change at some point......when you're ready.

This rebirth is happening inside and outside of yourself, and its causing disharmony, chaos, painful changes, and no BullSht; EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!! but also.....its creating new ideas, new inspiration, new LIFE!! figuratively OR literally(👀).

Its helping you adapt to lifes twists, turns, and all the windy messes in between. This isnt supposed to be a comforting message.....but its also not meant to scare you either. This message is about acceptance.

Accept and celebrate how far you've come but accept and acknowledge your mistakes and missteps, identifying how to move better or correctly for next time. Accept things as they are now but accept the emotional turmoil that may come along with that. Accept the missed opportunities but PLEASE also accept that there is better for you, out there, somewhere, I PROMISE!!

This specific rebirth is happening in your life, at this specific time because its trying to get you to SHED all the outgrown aspects of your life so you are more able to see the life that you deserve and go after your dreams/plans/goals in a more confident, conscious, considerate, aware, authentic, healthy, and ((all that good stuff)) , WAY!!!

It'll take some time, some tears, hardwork, determination, mental fortitude, faith, and trust....but YOU believe in YOU, and I believe in YOU!! so start living again, in ways that make sense to you. Feel right to you.

think of yourself as emerging from the womb again: make up your life however you want without fear, this will lead you down a path of self discovery and hearty lessons to help you grow and change, but stay steady in who you are no matter what!

powerful stuff pile 1, but to encounter new growth, better situations, and more understanding within yourselves; you need to prepare yourself to let go of rotted wood, garbage, or dead weight in your current foundations or perspectives.

abandon the old schemes and everything that no longer belongs to you and overcome the challenges of transformation and rebirth.

xtra signs or confirmations + advice:

•realizing // focusing on the repeating cycles,patterns,lessons, etc currently in your life.

•facing your shadows and calling judgement upon yourself + sitting in the uncomfortableness that comes along with life.

•not being afraid or affected by outside noise or other peoples perceptions of you anymore.

•take risks again! try and make yourself smile, widen your world view, stop and appreciate whats around you, something new is coming, expect the best and it will happen!

•pluto,mushrooms,scorpio energy,rebirth,healing,TRANSFORMATION,finding your voice, change your old ways.

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OKAY PILE 2:

HEAVY @ s$ energy. and im sorry for any betrayal felt on your part from this ending im CLEARLY picking up on. I hope you know how possible it is to move on, let go, release whatever or whoever, and just BREATHE AGAIN. I feel sick to my stomach but relieved, hurt but okay, numb but faintly hopeful for my future.....its very faint, but the emotion is there.

You've been through it and im sorry pile 2, i hope you know the more you keep pushing and getting over this percieved setback and/or tough loss that has occurred, the stronger you'll be because of it. You're going to learn such a valuabe lesson from this or you might of already learned that lesson, but either way you deserve better.....and frankly, MORE!

SO DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK // GIVE YOURSELF WHAT YOU WANT AND KNOW YOU DESERVE!! NO ONE SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A BURDEN OR LIKE YOU ARENT GOOD ENOUGH TO GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT// NEED FOR YOURSELF!! AND IF THEY DO, THEN CUT THEM OFFFFFFFF!!!

The big message here is to let that which must fall away, ACTUALLY FALL AWAY, and find balance between your desires and the people around you.

dont get so caught up in the what ifs, just do what feels right and speaks to your heart + listen and make decisions that your higher self would be proud of, prove your worth to yourself, NOT some else.

pile2, this is a tough message but straight-forward too. Let go, move on, heal, grow, learn,change + this process looks and feels different to everyone so whatever works 4u, lean into that!!

xtra signs or confirmations + advice:

•review your life by asking YOURSELF questions that might trigger a heartfelt response from you!!

•reclaim your power, meditate, learn about yourself, reparent yourself, help yourself and save yourself, no ones coming to help OR save you.

• "people come to see us for a reason, or sometimes just a season", focus on yourself for awhile.

• dont underrate yourself, build your confidence up, air sign sun, capricorn energy, Jupiter influence in chart, looking into the age of aquarius recently, air sign energy, astrologer or HIGHLY interested in astrology.

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OKAY PILE 3:

pile 3, you might hate hearing this but YOU GUYS ARE STRONG, RESILIENT, DETERMINED, STUBBORN, AND A HUGE ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF AND THATS HONESTLY SO INSPIRING AND ADMIRABLE!!!

which is why I must also say; you have to start taking responsibility for your own life and your own choices!! You're doing just fine standing in your power, but sometimes impulsiveness gets the better of you. And theres nothing wrong with that!!! But be careful, and ask for help when needed! Everything in moderation is always good. and that is very sound, safe, + solid advice.

life can feel like a confusing but interconnected web at times, but eventually you'll meet other people with similar expirences + ideas so even if it feels empty or lonely or confusing now, you're on the right path to find that support and stability you crave + the assistance and advice or guidance needed to help keep you straight! do not fear or worry, you're doing just fine.

ultimately the message is: when you finally realize, accept, and integrate the belief or truth that you are the engineer of your own life, you'll start to see better results and start moving your @ s$ to make better choices for your future + yourself. dont be inactive too long or you might risk losing a few good opportunities, that doesnt mean leap before you're ready, but that DOES mean doing the work NOW so you catch the good, stable, solid opportunities when they come sooner!

only you have the answers to what it is you truly want so start being honest with yourself and LAYING THE PROPER FOUNDATIONS FOR YOUR FUTURE!!!!

xtra signs or confirmations + advice:

•libra energy, venus placements, balancing of situations, the unseen is working behind the scenes, protect your ideas + your desires, be hopeful but stay realistic, logic vs emotion, listen to your heart, ignore your fears

•pray if you trust in something bigger than you!

•your gaining a sense of YOUR reality and its giving you a sense of responsibility so act on this accordingly and take this as an opportunity to learn + grow

___________________________________________

OKAY PILE 4:

daammn your message came out quick and fast : there's highs AND lows in life, dont get caught up in either extreme. This reality of life is a fact, nothing you can change, so you must change your response to this reality of life.

There's sunshine+rainbows and There's darkness+shadows. There's beautiful duality everywhere. There's clear vision and There's confused outlook. What perspective do you see right now? Either is okay and Either is tremendously valid.

Believing in yourself and your dreams is hard when nobody is paying attention to your efforts or maybe commending you for your little and big wins through the process. BUT when the results do come....when the fruit is finally ready to be picked.....it feels that much more rewarding when you can look back and say " I did it. "

Stay committed towards your dreams and move forward with confidence, IN SPITE of the negativity and other things being thrown your way. Stay hopeful and optimistic. Even if its hard! Stay grateful too!! Find the light at the end of tunnel to make things easier for yourself!

You have the ability to see what others tend to miss so use this to sniff out people who are NOT on your side or maybe using you in some way!! Dont let yourself lose integrity over something stupid, walk-away when you must, to avoid any conflicts later!

xtra signs or confirmations + advice:

•4, stability, 444, strong foundations being built, cancer, leo, sun or moon placements, nurturing your mind, body, spirit.

•go steady and at a comfortable pace, ignore outside negativity, take in constructive advice, learn to control your reactions.

•you are a human with needs, wants, desires....dont be afraid to go after them!___________________________________________

I sincerely hope you received what you needed and released what you don't !! See you again soon!! Take it easyyy and just breathe and fllooowwww!!! you got this! byyeee~🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

**please let me know how I'm doing in any way you can! that is the easiest way to support me and also a good way to signal to me that I should keep going + any helpful advice from the community would be welcomed and appreciated 🥺 🥹 🙏🏼

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⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

**ONCE AGAIN, I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️