#im convinced he would drink anything she made him even if he hated it

[togoldlilya]

Hopelessly in love

"i had a cup of coffee that changed my life today" toge exclaims bursting into maki's apartment like he lives there.

"for the better i hope" is her response, not even blinking at his sudden entrance, from where she's sitting on the couch with yuuta.

"was the coffee that good inumaki?" yuuta questions turning to look at the boy who has a wide smile on his face.

"it wasn't the coffee, it was person who gave it to me" he answers dreamly, voice light and airy.

"okay stop being such a lovesick fool and just tell us what happened." maki cuts in already fed up with his behavior.

"so i visited the new cafe down the street and there's the most lovely elegant beautiful girl who works there, and she made my coffee, and it is so so so good" toge gushes cheeks turning pink.

"ooooh i see how it is, you've seen this girl for all of five minutes and you're already in love, sad" maki's cold response makes him droop like an unwatered flower.

"you should be nicer maki, it seems he really likes this girl. so what's her name?" yuuta interrupts, a sheepish look on his face.

"i don't know, i got too nervous to ask..."

"nevermind he's hopeless" his face drops at that, turning back to the tv.

"aughhhh but you guys!! she was so pretty! and she put extra whip cream on my hot chocolate and i didn't even ask for it!" toge exclaims thursting out he's now half empty cup as if to show them said extra cream. maki and yuuta both turn to look at the cup, eyes narrowing.

"she wrote her number on the cup you idiot" maki breaks the short silence, toge's eyes growing impossibly wide.

"WHAT?! OH MY GOD IT'S HER NUMBER, YOU GUYS SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER! IM GONNA MESSAGE HER RIGHT NOW AND TELL HER HOW PRETTY SHE IS AND-" toge is shouting in excitement at this point, making the other two tune him out and continue watching their show.

"that boy is totally hopeless, he'll never have the guts to ask her out" maki comments offhandedly, yuuta nodding in agreement.

"guys this is sayaka! sayaka these are my friends maki and yuuta!" so imagine their surprise when two weeks later he shows up at their apartment, bursting in like usual only this time he's accompanied by the cafe girl.

[imaniwriting]

Rafe Cameron Doing Lines and then being caught by reader who he promised to get clean very very angsty pleasee

(hate but love this at the same time)

Warnings : usage of drugs, underage drinking at party, swearing (tell me if i missed any)

Summary : after rafe broke his promise once again he has to pay a bigger price than his drugs will ever cost

Genre : Angst, Angst, Angst

Rafe was complety lost. He did line after line not caring for a single thing around him, the thought of selling drugs long lost. He had become greedy, any person that walked his way to buy some he had shot down.

“Rafe, dude” yelled topper over the loud music blasting through the speakers. Rafe looked up at him with the 50 dollar bill still held at his nose. ��dude i thought you wanted to get clean”

Rafe shook his head chuckling “topper, bro, you know damn well that i only tell y/n that because she keeps bugging me” topper stared down at the boy. “well good luck explaining that one” he had said pointing behind the boy where you stood.

You stared at Rafe anger mirroring in your eyes before he could yell your name you stormed out pushing past coupples that were grinding on each other making disgust kreep onto your face.

“y/n!” he yelled stumbling over his own foot. “y/n please I didnt mean it like that!” he reasoned trying to catch up with you but he was stoned and it didnt help that there was hundreds of people around him.

You quickly got to your car before ripping the keys out of your pocket. But that gave him enough time to reach her. “What Rafe? you wanna tell me that you’ll get clean so i can stop bugging you?” you spit out making him flinch slighty.

He isnt used to you speaking to him like that “baby im sorry, I promise i’ll-“ but before he could finish the sentence you slapped him across the face. “Stop!” you shouted at him. “Stop! Promises are supposed to make you not break them!” you continued now with tears in your eyes “we pinky promised Rafe! God, you told me you could quit anything aslong as you kept me!” you then met his eyes who were twitching lightly. “am i not enough?”

That question made Rafe frown. Did he really make you feel like that? Like you werent enough? He took both of your hands into his cupping them slightly. “Y/n please don’t do this” he said knowing what you were playing at.

He let your hands fall to your side before grabbing your face with both hands forcing you to stare into his eyes. He leaned in to kiss you on your lips but you moved your head to the side. “Y/n please, im sorry baby” he tried to convince you but you just coldly shook your head.

“We’re done Rafe” you said making him let go of your face. He had just lost the love of his life to some stupid substance he couldn’t get enough off. He also just realized that this loss would hurt him more than anything.

Not being able to do coke or any drugs seemed so much easier than loosing you. You placed the car keys into his hand “ you can have this back.” You said his hand trembled not being able to hold the weight of the keys. The keys he had given you on your birthday last week.

“Good bye Rafe” you had said before taking off into the dark night. He wanted to run after you and beg for your forgiveness, god, you wanted that he would but you knew that he would return to his old habits and he’d disappoint you once again even he knew.

[4pfsukuna]

Awkward (N. Kento)

Theres just not enough fics of Nanami with black women outside of just smut..so here i am with smut but theres plot based on sza songs Awkward 

Time passing.

Nanami still has no idea how Gojo convinced him to attend his silly little holiday party. Knowing Gojo it would be loud, eccentric and lots of alcohol involved. Plus the fact that Gojo knew everybody and it looks like he’s invited everyone Nanami was ready to leave.

But Gojo made him promise to have one drink…just one. Plus he made some know it all comments about Nanami being a workaholic who was probably just going to go home look at stuff for work and do even more overtime spending the holidays alone. He always ragged on him about extra work but the alone part cut deep this time because it reminded him of his ex girlfriend the one he almost proposed to on the night of their anniversary, ring in pocket but he ended up getting stuck with over time, losing track of time and leaving her to sit alone at the restaurant for 2 hours. 

What was suppose to be a happy night was anything but and by 12:01am he was single. Bringing his cup to his lips he’s ready to take a sip but stops when he hears a laugh he’ll never forget.

The last thing Nanami kento expected to see at Gojo’s party (that he basically tricked him into going to) was his ex girl from 4 years ago in a black mini silk dress that if you just bent over a tad bit more—

“You alright man?” Gojo ask slapping his blonde hair friends back snapping him back to the reality where his cup of alcohol had been crushed completely in his hand.

He was sure of Two things in this moment. 1. His hand was wet and 2? He wasnt letting you get away again.

“Oh let me introduce you to my friend Miyoshi, shes an interior designer. Designed all my homes boring career so you two might actually have something in common since you like boring stuff” Gojo insults while placing a napkin in his friends hand basically dragging him over to the woman through the crowd.

What? This was not at all how he planned on talking to you, what was he suppose to say? Would you even acknowledge him? Your curly fro had been straightened so it was now mid back with a slight red tint and he vaguely remember you saying a girl dyes her hair red when she’s over a man and there’s no chance for him ever again. Oh god you hated him. Was the room always this hot?

You turn around finally setting your eyes on the two of them and downing whatever was left in your cup. 

“Miyoshi, meet my friend Nanami kento. Kento this is Miyoshi” Gojo introduces and the air becomes thick with tension as you two awkwardly smile at another Nanami unable to keep your gaze on him.

Time passing by.

“Yosh” Nanami breaks the silence at the same time she speaks “nami”. Old habits die hard, the nicknames from another pouring from their lips shocking Gojo.

“You two know each other?” The white hair man ask which only confuses him more when you say no but he says yes.

He goes to ask the question neither of you wanted to answer but luckily is stopped by hearing the pur of his name from Geto who he waste no time following forgetting all about you two. 

“Can i get you another drink? Im sorry about Gojo and bombarding you like that” Nanami ask nodding at your cup watching as you exhale glossed lips forming your usual slight pout.

You nod as he leads you by the small of your back to the bar his hand burning a imprint on your lower back and you're grateful when he moves it to toss the napkin in his other hand away.

“Strawberry Lemon drop and a whiskey on the rocks” he tells the bartender before quickly looking over at you dropping apologies.

“Sorry you probably dont even like that anymore, i shouldnt have assumed! Ill—“ he starts ranting only for you to laugh, placing a hand on his forearm sitting on the stool.

“Still as charming as ever, its still my favorite drink” you smile the nerves leaving your body but filling his to the brim. Why was he so nervous? Of course his stoic poker face never dropped once but that was how he was.

“Its nothing, just wanna make sure you’re taken care of” he speaks so easily before you could respond or even react The drinks are quickly placed in front of you.

You wanted to know what the hype was all about

“So how have you been?” He ask downing half of his drink in one gulp. You follow suit licking the sugar off the rim unaware of how his eyes watch  and his grip tightens slightly on his glass.

“Are we really going to play this game kento? Fine. Ive been traveling exploring growing healing i finally quit the company and started my own business finding rich men like Gojo who have more money than they know what to do with and creating clients out of them” you shrug sipping the drink watching him smile… somewhat proud.

“Congratulations. Sorry if im prying—“ Nanami finishes his drink only for you to cut him off.

“No!” You say a bit louder than expected before clearing your throat. “No i… i just dont understand how you can sit here like everything ended— like nothing happened and were just old friends catching up” you ask confused, of course you wanted to talk to him 3 and ½ years with someone over in one night and now 4 years later here both of you are.

The nerves were back.

Then we fucked a little bit and I was out, Did not say bye

“Kento i broke up with you, fucked you one last time for my own closure and ghosted you in the middle of the night with no way of ever contacting me. Not my best moment” you finally speak on the elephant in the room another round of drink places infront of you two.

“Compliments of master satorou” the bartender nods before attending to other guest leaving no time to protest.

“I wouldve atleast like to remain friends but i understand.  You left with a bang… quite literally” he jokes trying to ease the tension showing off that jokester part of him that only youve seen.

And now for the word vomit , you couldn’t even stop it if you wanted.

“Friends? Our love was different…too strong for that. It was worth it,I would do it again.I know you hurt me,This is more than a friendship” you speak running over your finger your rim collecting sugar along the sides of your fresh acrylic nails. 

When you don’t hear anything from him (honestly what are you expecting? You just admitted you loved him so much youd go through the heartbreak a second time just to experience that love again) you look up watching as he loosens his tie.

Fuck. “Sorry”

“I made it awkward” which he chuckles at taking your jaw in his large hand forcing your eyes to look up at him. Your heart racing in your chest at the familiar contact

“I miss you”he finally slips the stoic façade falling all his emotions on display for you to see and suddenly the room feels 10 degrees hotter.

“I— why did you let me do it?” You ask and for a simple sentence it was so loaded. You can tell by the way the tips of his ears burn red.

“This isnt the place for that conversation” he speaks finally letting go of your chin turning back towards his drink and you exhale he was right. The awkward tension was back and you despised it.

“My home is 10 minutes away… we can really talk there if youd like” he suggest looking over his watch and i glance around at the party in full swing before back at him.

“Yeah”

When you two make it to his home you cant help the nostalgic grin. This was completely him, nothing out of place every color scheme matches because its all shades of white creme or beige. Everything looks super clean and super expensive.

“Would you like anything to drink? Or eat?” He ask heading to the kitchen after placing your coats on the rack.

“Wine… although ive probably drunk enough” you giggle taking a seat on the couch and he follows with two wine glasses and the bottle. But Nanami always had the best wine and knew the best pairings.

Downing the first cup you lick your lips until you feel his fingers brushing down hair with the rest. When you look over at him hes already stairing at you… admiring and its pure love. Everything starts to feel surreal and you really remember the last time you were with him— alone.

Can we still love on each other?

“Do you still love me?” You ask curiously before you have time to even realize what youre saying and he doesnt even look phased.

“Did you ever stop?” He questions looking at you over his wine glass setting it back on the coffee table next to the bottle looking away to hide the look in his eyes. Sighing you rest your cup next to his, lip gloss staining the glass.

Can we still touch on eachother.

Reaching up to play with his tie being unkept from him fiddling with it you only loosen it further unbuttoning the top 3 buttons just like you did when you two were still— fuck.  

You freeze but that doesnt discourage him feeling the coolness of your hands through the shirt bringing his full attention to you and youve completely taken over all of his senses. 

Can we still not judge  each other?

You still never answered the question just focused on his tie and froze. He curses at himself.

I make it awkward.

“I…im still inlove with you kento, never stopped” you finally say looking up at him glossy eyes and thats all he needs leaning forward placing his lips on yours the taste of alcohol and cherry lip gloss makes him melt. He kisses you delicately, scared to scare you off and even if you regret it the taste of your lips one last time would get him through a lifetime of over time.

Its when you sigh and pull his bottom lip in between your teeth is when he decides he needs you and he needs your weight on him. Pulling you so youre straddling his lap his hands slowly roaming your body still scared of sudden movements scaring you and wanting to map out every curve of your body missing the way you felt. Getting so lost in your brown skin he almost looses his thought. The one thing he promised hed tell you if he ever seen you again.

I can not love everybody

And hes confessing like a sinner in church or a man on judgement day because you are everything holy and he was ready to admit. 

“I could never be with anybody after you, no woman is you”

But you isn't anybody

“You took my heart with you when you left and only left a tiny piece left. And with that tiny piece all i could do is think about how much im in love with you. Want to be with you forever just us two” he breathes looking you dead in your eye so you know hes serious. Serious about you. Serious about this. Serious about yall.

You look at me different

You couldnt help but to see a different side of him. And not just the jokester side you seen earlier but a more mature Nanami Kento, a more considerate and loving Nanami kento. His lover boy era perhaps?! The heat pools inbetween your legs more than it had been all night as you two keep eye contact.

So I let you see my body

Pulling your dress over your head revealing the black lace matching panties and bra set he adjust in the seat.

“Proove it”

Body, body, body

“Youre going to be the absolute death of me, im sure of it” he admits his lips going to your neck trailing down the valley of your breast hands groping and squeezing them. His tongue licks over your cloth covered nipple pinching the other one causing a slight moan. Grabbing your hands to place on his shirt the signal to keep unbuttoning his hands go to your cheeks cupping as he begins kissing you harder tongue infiltrating your mouth.

And now we don't speak at all Now I regret it all

4 years without this? How could you? You were still absolutely positively madly in love with him. Missing him so much your lips dont disconnect at all even when he stands to walk toward his bedroom your fingers running through his hair at the nape of his neck pulling a soft moan from him. You don’t register the movement until your back is being layed in the softness of his bed.

Still, it was worth it

I would do it again

His lips trail down the valley of your breast again making sure to savor the taste of your brown skin before his tongue swirls over your brown nipple listening to your soft pants. He switches over to the other one, your lace bra being unhooked in the front by his mouth… he always did have a talented mouth.  

His lips continue their assault until they reach your panties kissing your lips through the lace earning a shiver before his teeth are pulling your underwear off and damn what a sight.

You can feel him breathing over your core making you nervous wanting to close your legs unaware of the way hes using his photographic memory to remember how gorgeous you look right now.

“Ken— mmph” his tongue glides against your folds with ease and your sure hes thought about this often because the way his tongue is delicated over every spot that makes you tingle is driving you insane. 

“Missed the way you taste sweetheart” he indulges using his first two fingers to open up your slick folds giving him access to what he really wants. His tongue swirls around once, twice, three times before fully latching onto your clit pulling a loud whine from you. 

Music to his ears he wants to make you do it again, show you hes sorry, beg for another chance fuck he was on his knees face burried into your dripping cunt and nothing outside of the two of you mattered right now. Using those two fingers he presses into your core moaning as you squeeze your legs around his head the need to cum building up when he twist his fingers with a delicious curl.

“K-kento i… im fuck” you begin writhing under his mouth hands gripping at the sheets as he keeps a slow sensual pace making sure you feel the apology. But hes a selfish man, he thinks, because the minute you cum hes lapping up every drop yet still wont give you a second to recover. You deserved it.

His tongue replaces his fingers, fucking you as his thumb swirls around your clit watching every face of exstacy you make, the way the lights from the city shine through the room bouncing off the soft brown of your skin. 

He just wants one more only one and when your hands tangle in his blonde hair holding him in place forcing him to watch you fall apart on his tongue his dick twitches in his boxers precum spilling from the tip.

“NANAMI” you shout the highest pitch hes ever heard your voice before orgasming on his lips his movements never stopping as he pushes you into your third one of the night, he needed your taste engraved in his brain… and tongue. The sounds of your heavy breaths grabs his attention and he grins watching the heat of the room make your hair curl back up with a slight friz. Just the way he loved it.

Though hes shocked when you lurch forward pulling him by his cheeks to place an open mouth his tongue swirling around his mouth tasting yourself and a hint of alcohol.

Hes nervous when you pull back, afraid you may regret it and be ready to walk out until your trembling fingers push his unbuttoned shirt off over the planes of his muscles taking your time feeling them even when his shirt falls to the floor. 

Next is his belt buckle and he feels like hes shaking from anticipation watching you do this. He cant help himself and leans back in for another kiss your lipgloss long gone. Sliding everything off in one push your eyes widen at his length thats dripping precum in a way youve never seen before that makes you lick your lips wanting to get every drop but he leans forward pulling your chin up to him.

“Maybe later love,” and the nickname hurts. He always called you that after being away on a long business trip or extremely long nights at work when he strolled in after midnight.

He grabs his thick length pumping a few times before lining it up with your core and the air is thick again. With anticipation…

Longing…

Need…

Unspoken apologies…

I know you hurt me, but

But this is deeper than friendship now

Nodding giving him the okay he slides in making you  gasp and he captures your lips in a groan the burn of him stretching you out as his dick slides in is welcomed. Its like your walls were made just for him. Though you dont expect the string of apologies he begins letting out and tears prick your eyes as you pull him close one hand on his spine the other tangled in his hair.

Let's keep it awkward

He doesnt move for a second and you understand the hesitation. You knew what this meant. He just needed a little motivation.

I think we're ready for it, yeah, mmh

Squeezing you core he groans sending a sharp thrust into you burrying his face in your shoulder. He slowly pulls back just to the tip sliding back in with the same sharp thrust releasing a grunt before picking up your thigh pressing it against your chest. The gasp leaves your mouth as you struggle to think straight nails digging into his back pulling him closer. It seems your claws in his back does nothing but turn him on more.

His lips begin kissing down your neck sucking and leaving a trail of hickeys because even if he couldnt have you past tonight he would leave his mark and let it be known you were his until they stop on your breast. His tongue laps at your perky nipples sucking until he pulls a delicious moan from you and your hands find his hair again. He loved when you pulled it and kept it long enough for you to get a grip but short enough so it wasnt always in his eyes.

“K-kento” you stutter breathlessly your legs shaking as the first orgasm from his dick rips through you yet he shows no signs of stopping or slowing down. Just keeps fucking you through it.

Well this was a different level of deepness.

“Fuck i love you” he grunts again with slow powerful strokes making sure his pelvis hits yours every time as his hands trace the outline of your body squeezing whereever he can. His lips meet yours once more in a sloppy kiss as he drops more weight on you to keep you in place. The only sounds are a combination of your moans and the wet slapping sounds. A particular thrust of his hips makes you feel like he’s digging you out and your back arches off the bed only for his body to press into you.

“Fuck, tell me how good it feels sweetheart” he practically begs but youre still trying to catch your breath from the first orgasm making him release your nipple and come back to your shoulder peppering it with kisses. “Tell me how much you missed this…us” he adds before snaking a arm down between the both of you and finding your clit.

“N-nan… shit… nami” your words are broken and you cant even keep your eyes focused on one spot and he grins into your neck at his name rolling off your tongue acknowledging where the nickname from earlier came from. His thumb goes at a sensualy slow place but the pressure hes applying has your legs locking up behind his back and he delivers the final blow.

Pulling your chin down to find your eyes and he smiles wholesomely with a wicked glint in his eyes making you give him complete eye contact unable to move. 

“Cum with me” he begs and demands all at once his thrust a bit sporadic and loosing rhythym as the speed on your clit pics up as well the coil building in you before finally snapping and your gushing all over him as ropes of his load shoot into you consequences be damned. He collapses next to you pulling your body ontop of his chest rapidly rising and falling. You two are silent, a comfortable one before he extends his arm rumaging in the drawer next to his bed and you close your eyes fighting the sleep. 

You open your eyes once more when you feel him wrapping a scarf around your hair that had completely curled back up due to the heat and sweat from your bodies. Your only response is to  smile and place a kiss on his chest which he chuckles at and places a kiss on your forehead tracing his fingers up and  down your spine

Let's keep it awkward

Waking up to the sound of the keyboard you yawn rubbing your eyes to see a glass of water and 2 tylenol on the night stand infront of you. The realization dawns on you of where your at but how could you forget you knew that scent of detergent, the cozyness of the sheets and the fact that this was your side of the bed because the vent was next to it meaning youd be getting all the heat first… this was your ex boyfriend Nanami kentos bedroom and you were completely naked except for the pale blue sheet covering your lower half.

It may seem silly but the sound of the keyboard brought tears to your eyes, all the hard work you did on healing. No amount of sza, jhene aiko nor beyonces lemonade album would get you through this one because you knew what it was and allowed it. Nanami was a workaholic— the exact reason for your split. Dates postponed with no exact date, romantic evenings cut short, sleeping alone for several nights as the computer held his attention… What hurt the most was being stood up on your anniversary.  

Slowly rising up you rub your eyes and begin looking for you clothes ready to make your great escape.

“Good morning sweetheart howd you sleep?” He ask the audacity to even call you sweetheart as if everything was back to when you two were still in a relationship makes your heart clench with pain. When you don’t respond the sound of the keyboard stops and you feel the bed shift flinching before he can touch you.

“No i know that look youre going to run, just like last time” he speaks in such a timbre that steals your breath knowing your causing him pain. “If all you wanted was a quick fuck you—“ he begins to say and you scoff finally looking at him eyes set ablaze.

“How fucking dare you?! Thats all i was to you Kento! A quick fuck to burn through your stress and then right back to your silly little papers and projects and work. You were always drowning yourself in work so deep that i had to convince myself you actually didnt hate me! All you do is work and when youre not working youre picking up overtime. You placed your job over me countless times! The only time you thought about me was to reschedule what we had planned…. 14 date nights and a anniversary kento! FOURTEEN!” You finally yell feeling a weight lift off your shoulders at the speach you rehearsed 3 dozen times in the mirror.

His shoulder slump as his lips form a line looking for the right words to say. What could he say he was over the moon waking up next to you in bed and now he felt disgusted with himself. Nothing was worse than the regret on your face.

You begin looking for your clothes again and that sets him into action he shuffles off the bed pulling you into his arms your head against his chest his heartbeat racing.

“Im sorry” released the flood gate of tears youd been holding back as if he knew he holds you tighter and sighs.

“Im sorry for neglecting you, im sorry for not putting you on the pedestal you deserve to be on, im sorry for anytime ive ever made you question my love for you, im sorry for all the dissapointments and most of all im sorry for waiting this long. Im an idiot and every day without you was hell i thought what i would do differently if i had the chance once more and i—“ he stops sitting down on the bed so he could pull your eyes to his covered by his thick framed glasses.

“Karma is beating my ass with cursed energy because for every day we werent together all i could think about was every time i canceled and how i wish i could just have 1 night, id make it all right” he confesses with wide eyes wiping your tears away with his thumbs. 

Your eyes flicker to his laptop and he follows before showing me the screen and there’s about 6 tabs open. His email, flights, hotels, car rentals and clothing stores.

I know I'm ready for it, you feel me?

“I was telling my boss im taking the next month off 14 dates is alot of time sweetheart… 14 too many and i know. We always talking about escaping to malaysia, trying all the foods, shopping breakfast on the beach and dancing under the moonlight until 2am. Everything’s booked and i know youd need time to pack and get your hair done i already messaged your hairstylist who can see you in 4 hours hopefully after we’ve had breakfast and agreed to the trip” he pleads with hopeful eyes revealing his hand to show you, not just tell you how apologetic he was but to show you.

Your heart begins racing, palms sweaty and damn did this man have you weak in the knees! He was doing everything right, saying everything right and he looked so fine the way his boxers hugged his muscular frame and okay maybe a man with a plan turned you on anybody could say words but to put action behind it… And like this? Oh baby he really thought about it, kinda like you factory reset him.

“Heres my card pay for whatever you need and a key… to my place” you never really heard him stumble over his words before until now and his nervousness is showing in a boyish way youd never seen before who wouldve thought stone wall one expression Nanami kento here stumbling over you? “So what do you say?”

Can we still love on each other?

Can we still touch on each other?

Can we still not judge each other?

So… what do you say?

[luvsturn1]

7 minutes in heaven

hey y'all.. so this is not the story i was planning on posting. but i wanna post before i go on my vacation. so here it is!! i'll try and post the longgg one soon but i don't wanna finish it rn bc it's at like 15k words so i have no idea weather to finish it or not🙂

warnings: smut! semi public(at a party), underage drinking, cussing (i think that's all)

pairing: matt x fem!reader

word count: 2,150

_________________________________________

You and your sister Madi filipowicz have a lot of similarities, but you guys have more different interests then same, like for example. She loves partying, you don’t. You love spending time alone, she loves hanging out with friends. She’s a morning person and you’re not. But dispute your differences you love her with all your heart and would to anything for her…well maybe not everything.

“ please y/n I don’t wanna go to this party alone, and plus you never get out of the house. So please for the love of god come to the party!!” Your sister says flopping on your bed and turning to you.

“ I don’t want to go out tonight, I went with you last time and I did not enjoy it one bit. Plus aren’t your friends going to come with you anyway so what’s the big deal if I don’t go this one time”

“ because you always say “ I’ll go next time” but you never do, your going to rot away in your bed if you stay cooped up in the house all the time” Madi says sitting up to look at you with her puppy dog eyes that she does all the time and it drives you crazy because she knows that you will give in and say yes to whatever her request is.

“ what!! I don’t say that all the time and for your information, not like it’s any of your business but I’m going out next week to go to a birthday party for one of my friends from work.” You say acting like her joke about you “rotting away in your bed” hurt your feelings. “ plus even if I did want to go I don’t have a dress to wear” you say as you lay back to lean on the head of your bed.

“ pleasee I promise to make it up to you. It will be fun nicks going to be there, your friends with him right?”

“ yea me and Nick are friends I guess, but I always either get lost or left behind at all the parties that I go to with you. It’s not fun going to a party and you only know your sister and her friends.” You say looking at her with a straight face.

Your sister doesn’t say anything, but just leaves your room to go to her room. About 15 minutes pass and she comes back with a dress that you are convinced people would wear at a strip club. “ I am not wearing whatever that is, it’s not even going to cover my ass” you say getting up to go to your closet to grab a pair of sweats and a crop top.

“ no. There is absolutely no way I am letting you wear that to a party. Dress up and it’s fine I’ve worn this before and it covers enough of your ass. So put those away and take this dress and get ready cause we are leaving at 8:30” Madi says walking out of your room to get herself ready.

It was now 8:15 and your sister had been at you for the last 30 minutes to hurry up. You were almost ready you just had to finish putting your dress on. You put the dress on and you realized that your sister had lied to you. It in fact did not cover your ass at all.

“ MADI!! IM GOING TO KILL YOU.” You say running down your stairs to find her friends at the door. It was nick Matt and Chris the triplets. You have seen them before and you really liked Nick probably caused he is gay and you don’t like to hangout with guys. Chris also wasn’t a problem it was Matt Sturniolo. You didn’t like hate hate him just when you were with him he just made you uncomfortable. He always stared at you like he was trying to undress you with his eyes.

“ come on it’s not that bad you look good” Nick says coming up to hug you. You don’t say anything cause you know you look good you just don’t like dressing up. ~Time skip~

When you all got there madi and Nick practically jumped out of the car that was still not fully parked. Chris soon followed after them leaving you with Matt.

“ you look good tonight” Matt says and you can tell he’s smerking without even looking back at him. “save me at least one dance princess” he says as he walks past you leaving you at the front door before you could say yes or no.

The house was nice, it was packed with people and you already didn’t enjoy it. But you brushed off the feeling and made your way to the kitchen where Nick and your sister were downing shots.

“ jeez save some for me” you say moving next to madi to take 3 shots of vodka. “ dose your brother always flirt with girls” you say looking at Nick while pointing at his brother Chris who currently has at least 10 girls by him.

“ um yea he does this when we go to parties all the time he says he finds it funny how every girl comes up to him when he’s at a party.” He says shrugging “ I have to pee hold my drink” Nick says to Madi as he walks down a hallway.

About 3 hours have passed and you, your sister and nick were all pretty drunk. You had found a room with couches and a ping pong table. You all were tired and wanted somewhere to chill so you decided to hang out in there until some people left.

“ yo we’ve been looking for you guys” Chris says as he walks in with Matt and two other people that you don’t care to know “ I’m bored can we play a game like truth or dare” Chris says sitting down across from you and of course Matt had to sit right next to you.

You all agree and Chris goes first and he had picked truth. Then nick who picked dare and had to ask a random guy for there number. Then you.

“ truth or dare y/n” Chris said hoping you would pick dare cause he was bored and wanted to “spice things up”

“ um I guess I’ll pick dare” you said and as soon as you said that you saw Chris’s eyes shoot open and practically scream “ I dare you to spend 7 minutes in heaven with Matt” and as soon and he said that you could feel Matt’s eyes on you watching you until you responded.

you didn’t say anything but “come on” as you got up and went to the closest room/closet. With matt soon following you after with a big smerk on his face.

You and Matt were now in a small room. It was difficult to see and before you could look at Matt. He moved closer to you and you could feel the warmth of him with how close he is. before you could say no or pull away you felt his lips on yours. The kiss was lustfull but sweet at the same time.

You soon kissed him back and it quickly turned into a heated make out. Matt had one of his hands on your ass and the other wrapped around your neck to keep you up against to wall. Matt pushed his hips up against yours so you could feel his growing member, your mouth fell open and you let out a moan. Matt took that opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth. You and Matt fought for dominance, him eventually winning.

He broke off the kiss and started to kiss down your neck lightly biting your neck as he moved lower, still holding your neck in place. When he was about halfway down he stopped and looked up at you. “Can i ?” Matt asked pulling up your dress a little. “ y-yes” you said as he began to pull of your dress, you helping him get it off faster.

“ fuck your beautiful. I need to be inside you” Matt said as he kissed your stomach while standing up to take of his jeans. You were in shock with how big it looked through his boxers.

Matt placed his hands on the back of your thigh signaling you to jump. when you jumped he caught you and pushed you up against the wall and started to aggressively kiss you. He was exploring every inch of you making you go insane craving his touch even more.

“ hold on let’s go somewhere else so we aren’t bothered” Matt says putting you down.

You both get dressed and fix your hair as much as you could. Matt took your hand and took you out of the closet.

“ hey hey you both still have 3 minutes left go back in there” Chris says pointing to the closet door that you left open.

“ fuck off we are done playing. we’re going somewhere else for a little bit I’ll find you when we are done playing our own game” Matt says smirking as he walks past everyone leaving them all in shock.

“ don’t get her pregnant Mathew!!” Your sister says knowing what y’all were about to do

You find an empty room upstairs and Matt doesn’t waist any more time and pushes you up against the wall kissing your neck. He breaks off the kiss and takes his shirt and pants off leaving him in his boxers.

Once he finishes getting undressed he returns to kissing your neck. Biting and licking everywhere leaving marks. You love the way he made you feel it was addicting.

“ get undressed and get on the bed on all fours” he said as he stopped kissing you to let you get on the bed.

You got undressed now in nothing, getting on the bed. Getting on all fours you were patiently waiting for Matt and were about to turn around when you felt him behind you.

“ I’m going to fuck you so good you’re going to be begging for more” Matt said as he thrusted into you without any warning.

You let out a loud moan because of how big he was. Matt bent down still thrusting into you at a rapid speed, and began kissing your neck leaving sloppy wet marks all over you.

“ fuck Matt I don’t know how much longer I can last”

you knew you wouldn’t be able to last long as soon as he first pushed himself into you. He didn’t care one bit and kept going. Bringing his right hand up to your waist, and the other down to your clit. Rubbing fast circles bringing you closer to the edge.

Matt stopped thrusting and pulled out. Making you groan due to the lack of him. He flipped you over so you were now looking at him. Matt bent down to kiss you. The kiss was sloppy leaving your lips covered in his saliva.

“ I wanna see your face when I make you cum sweetheart” Matt said as he separated to kiss. Lining himself up with your hole, and began thrusting at a faster pace then before.

You let out a loud pornographic moan. Matt was mesmerized by everything about you. Your eyes, the sounds you make when he’s ruining your insides, how good you look without even trying. He could go on forever.

“ fuck Matty can I cum pleasee” you said needing to release.

“ yes baby your being such a good girl for me” Matt said as he brought his hand up to rub your clit in circles bringing you even closer to the edge.

you felt your climax began and the knot in your stomach release causing you to let out yet another scream. That made Matt go crazy bringing him closer. His thrusts got sloppy as he released his load into you mixing your juices together.

“ fuck that was the best sex I’ve ever had” Matt said as he pulled out making both your juices leak out onto the bed.

“ I agree” you said as you sat up to get your clothes. You stood up almost immediately falling due to how sore your legs were. Matt caught you setting you back on the bed kissing you. He got dressed and cleaned up once he was done he helped you and cleaned you up and got you dressed. Helping you up to go downstairs.

When you got downstairs all eyes were on you and Matt.

“ jeez what did he do to you” Nick said when he saw that Matt was helping you stay upright.

“ Matthew your lucky your my friend or I would kill you right here” your sister said walking over to you and Matt.

“ whatever let’s leave I’m tired” you says flipping them off

“ yea I bet you are” Chris says laughing.

[whole-circus]

hi! since your requests are open, could I ask for some room hdc?? with characters of your choice 🧎‍♀️

please take care of yourself and take your time!!

Creepypastas room headcanons!

➥ Jeff the Killer, Homicidal Liu, Eyeless Jack, Ben Drowned, Clockwork and Hobo Heart

Oh hi and thank you!! Here you go sweetie! If you wanted someone more then feel free to uptade!! :33

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☆ Jeff the Killer

What a stinky men. Im sorry but his room is messy for sure and you can't convince me otherwise! Dirty clothes, empty cans, leftovers, stains..man, hire him a maid or something. Some dead plants and messy grafitties, stolen traffic signs and construction boards! Propably never in his life made bed, and his sheets aren't changed often.

Definitely has many band posters on his walls too! Maybe some vinyls too?? Mostly the black, red and grey colours can be seen. Hates the big light, so usually sits in dark or with small lamp. His drapes 24/7 covered. He is emo and plays loud music.

Smells like cigarettes and like room that hadn't been aired for long time.

☆ Homicidal Liu

Pretty, clean and organized room! The only 'messy' thing could be mugs he forgot to clean (same tho). Im sure he has gramophone and listen some of this old, silly, romantic songs! Also - a lot of plants, maybe even lego flowers? Couple of this aesthetic posters, some gobelins, small paintings. Photos with his friends, S/O! His bed is almost always well made. He have many books, and an easel (what an art hoe of him).

Mostly green, brown and beige colours. He loves natural light and candles, and if the weather is nice then his windows are open.

His room smells like cleaning detergents, soil and candles (usually the flower ones).

☆ Eyeless Jack

Soo..his room is not as clean, but its caused by his wild side. On his walls and furnitures are many straches from his hands (or even teeth!). Otherwise? You don't have to worry about surviving visiting his room, you have high chance to not caught anything! I would say his room is pretty dark, only becasue his walls are in gloomy colours - maybe not black, but gray, green or navy blue (all in dark shades).

Let's pretend that he actually was into medicine before all his tragic events..pls? Propably has some decorations, like skeleton, anatomy-related posters! Also likes to keep his blinds shut, he is pretty hypersensitive in terms to hearing, sight, smell. And maybe..he would have this small, funny fridge in his room, you know - to keep his..food..fresh!

About the smell..maybe a bit of blood? And something rotten? But its not that strong tho!

☆ Ben Drowned

Musty, dusty and rusty room, but we still love him! He would clean once in a while, and he do that very solid..but that doesn't last long - his room gets messy very easly. When he isnt gaming then he is sleeping..pretty productive, huh? Bed is never made, lots of junk food wrappers, empty (or not) cans..

LED lights 25/8! His room is pretty dark, propably never seen the sun. On his walls are posters from movies, anime and games. Has pretty professional gaming set when it comes to computer (I would describe it but i only know that computer need screen and keybord lol). High chance of having some psp gaming corner! Like bean bag pouffe, TV and stuff. Also! Collects figures like funko pops, anime figures, nendoroids. Ben have pretty nice Lego collection too!

His room smells like sweat and energy drinks.

☆ Clockwork

A bit messy, but in this aesthetic way - in other way, chaos under control! You know, some clothes at the floor or on chair..some dirty mugs..and her trash can is a bit too full..but as I said - everything looks pretty planed..! She has many blankets and plushies (she would never admit to that tho) on her bed.

In her room dominates mostly shades of dark green and white! Has many fun stuff in her room - rocks, animal skulls..sorry fellow animal lovers, promise they were found! But also a guitar! Full jewelry holder - and they are all well made! Thats why they are a bit too messy.. And she keeps many fake plants, she sucks at taking care of them. Clockwork has many string lights in various shapes!

Dunno, but I cant really assign smell of her room! Maybe something like dust and coffee?

☆ Hobo Heart

Ahh I miss this pretty boy to be honest! His room is clean, end of the sentence, thats it. I also think that he would have some pet in terrarium or aquarium - lizard, frog or just some fishes. Even if they are small, he treat them with proper respect and like the family members!

Has white walls with paintings and photos of his friends/SO, but most of the decorations are in shade of red. Also vinyls as decorations and posters of his favorite singers/bands (m sorry but he totally looks like somoene listening to Lana Del Ray vibes T^T) - all in this 'aesthetic way'! Simple light bed sheets, and when his bed is made (which is pretty often) he put pillows that have this silly shapes. Like to keep his room natural lightened and loves candles!

His room smells pretty like vanilia, but its not a strong scent.

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

[chas3supremacist]

big brother, best friend

pairing/s: Robert Chase x Sister!Reader (Platonic, obviously.)

summary: Robert Chase being the best big brother for 1800 words straight despite being through hell himself.

Request - Anonymous asked:

what about older brother/cousin/family friend (basically someone you're close to and grew up with) Robert Chase who hates when people in the hospital try to flirt with the reader. maybe he even gets the rest of house's team + wilson to also prevent them from getting hit on

 cw: overprotective big bro chase!! cat calling, sexual harassment, mentions of child abuse, childhood trauma

word count: 1.8k words

a/n: I love big brother chase!! best big brother on planet earth!! Also, I know that chase canonically has a younger half sister who he took care of, but for the sake of my fic, I'm going to be ignoring that - The reader is chase's full sister! Also, for the first couple paragraphs of this there is little to no dialogue, just backstory! Also I kind of differed from the request so I hope you liked this anon! also this is an absolutely atrocious ending on my part im so sorry

For as long as you could remember, your older brother had looked after you - Despite him being 5 years older than you. He'd try and settle you the best that he could while your father was away on his work trips, and when your mother was drinking and couldn't deal with the two of you and she would lock you in your fathers office. He knew that your mother hated the two of you from a young age, but it didn't click for you - You loved your mom more than anything ever, even if she didn't feel the same way about you.

When your dad left when you and Chase were ten and fifteen, it left the two of you to look after your alcoholic mother - Chase took the brunt of looking after her, since you were still so young. He had taken on more than any child his age should have ever needed to, he was responsible for both you and your mom. He was responsible for making sure that you got to school and picking you up, responsible for making sure that you were eating, that your homework was done. Well, that was until your father made a brief return, only to tell your brother that he was sending you off to boarding school in England, claiming that Chase should be focusing on more important things rather than looking after you since that should be your mom's job. You spent 3 years at boarding school, on your own in a country you had never been to in your life before your brother decided that he would attend seminary in England.

Despite everything that had happened to you in your relatively short life, Chase had always known you to be happy and cheery even in the darkest situations - However, 3 years at boarding school had clearly had a negative impact on how you viewed your life and yourself. You were excited to see your brother, of course you were, but you were nowhere near as happy as you would have been had your father not torn you away from your entire life and made you start a new one at 10 years old. Chase took you out at the weekends when he could, but found himself having 'a crisis of faith' - Meaning he slept with the groundskeeper of the seminary's wife and was reconsidering his commitment to his faith. Upon leaving the seminary, Chase found himself considering returning to Australia to attend the University of Sydney to continue his study of medicine - He felt terrible for considering not telling you and disappearing. But he soon remembered how you were feeling when he had first seen you, you looked exhausted and as if you hadn't eaten in days; Remembering that, Chase knew that he couldn't leave you.

Since then, you had been living with your brother, moving to New Jersey with him since he had went for a job at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital - Unbeknownst to you, your father had called up Chase's boss, Dr House to convince him to give him the job. You had turned 18 the week before Chase started his new job, and since you were starting college, it appeared that you both had something to celebrate. Chase was beyond proud of you, you had gotten straight A's all throughout high school and had received a full scholarship to Stanford Law School in California, where you could at least travel back to see your brother since at least this time you were in the same country - Which you often did. Your drive to become a lawyer was so you could specialise in family law, after talking through your childhood with your therapist, you decided that you wanted to make a difference to children like yours lives before things could go as far as they did for you. Now on your summer break from your junior year, you were going to spend the summer in New Jersey with Chase - He had told you of the new fellows that House hired, Allison Cameron and Eric Foreman. You had teased him about Cameron, saying that you gave it 3 months before they were sleeping together.

You rubbed your tired eyes as you walked through the hallways of the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, you hadn't managed to sleep on your 5 and a half hour flight from San Diego to New Jersey and it was really taking its toll on you - You didn't cope well without sleep, which your brother would attest to. You sighed and threw your head back against the wall of the elevator, exhaling heavily as your backpack weighed heavy on your shoulders. You gave a tight lipped smile to the janitor who stood in the elevator with you, who grinned back at you, giving you an uneasy feeling in your stomach. You looked away from him, opting to look at your legs instead.

"You're a beautiful girl, you know," He told you, reaching out to touch your shoulder. You shied away from him, feeling your heart pound against your chest as you saw his face screw up at you implicit rejection of his advance. "Listen, I'm just trying to compliment you, you don't need to be a bitch about it." He scolded angrily, moving to stand in front of you as you blinked back the tears which burned in your eyes.

"Please just leave me alone," Was all you could meekly manage out as a response to his anger at your rejection. He stepped back as the elevator dinged at your floor, acting as if nothing had happened. As you pulled your hoodie over yourself, you froze as the janitor grabbed your butt. You sighed and shook your head, trying to stop yourself from crying as you stepped out of the elevator and made your way to the diagnostics department. You sighed as you opened the door to the office, freezing like a deer caught in headlights as an older man, who you presumed to be Dr House, spun around to face you.

"Chase, why is there a mini you standing in my office?" 

Chase looked up, a grin on his face as he saw you in Houses office. House knew that Chase had a sister, but he had never met her - Now he wished he had met her sooner.

"Hey," You greeted him, looking out of the office window, fearing that the janitor had followed you to the office. Chase took note of your lack of enthusiasm and how alarmed you seemed to be. He stood and came to hug you, noticing how you almost flinched at your brother stepping towards you - From this alone, Chase knew that something had happened.

"Are you okay?" His big brother instincts were cranked up to 11 as he saw the tears bubbling in your eyes, threatening to spill over at any second. You always got this way when something happened, you would try and be brave about it, but the second someone asked if you were okay, you would crumble. Chase knew you were close to crumbling when your bottom lip started to tremble. "Okay, why don't we go outside," You nodded in agreement to chases suggestion, not listening as he apologised to House, who made some kind of snide remark that you didn't care to listen to. 

You managed to hold back the tears until you got out of the office, and that was when you crumbled, breaking down into tears in your brothers arms. "It's okay. Why don't you tell me what happened?" Chase asked you, his heart breaking and anger filling him at the thought of someone making you so upset.

"W-well I got in the elevator to come up here and there was a janitor in there too and so I didn't say anything to him and-and then he called me beautiful," You tried to compose yourself a bit before continuing so that your brother could at least understand you a little better. "And so he like...reaches out to touch my shoulder and I move away from him and then he says that I'm being a bitch because he's just trying to compliment me and then when I left the elevator he grabbed my butt." You explained to him. Chase was beyond mad. How could someone do that to you? To anyone, never mind his own baby sister.

"Did you manage to see his name on his badge?" He asked you gently, not wanting to upset you anymore than you already were. You sniffled as you nodded, rubbing your eyes and nose as you tried to calm yourself down.

"Yeah, it was David, he was like..5'3, bald, had a really weird looking beard," You described to Chase, who nodded as he hugged you again. He'd make sure that he was punished to the full extent Cuddy could punish a janitor, which would hopefully mean that he would lose his job, and have to explain to potential employers that he was fired for sexual harassment. And maybe, just maybe, Chase would pay him a visit. Chase was by no mean a violent person, but if someone messed with his little sister, he wouldn't let that slide - He had once hospitalised one of your ex boyfriends who had sent an explicit photo of you around your school.

Yeah, maybe you didn't have such a terrible big brother.

[sixlane]

laneeeee as the og pandoralecto anon i ABSOLUTELY want to talk about them and bartyyy especially since i think barty and alecto would have like a lowkey sibling-like relationship but also theyre both fucked up so it is also a bit sexual but like. alecto is also fucking her brother and barty wants to fuck twins that are already fucking so its not the weirdest most incestous thing going on in their lives.

anyway. pandoralecto. since barty and alecto are close like that she tells him and she's like "this is terrible i hate her but also i cannot stop aaaaagh helpppp" and barty.exo stops working cos erm. what.

I think a huge part of his reaction to that is what is his relationship with evan and pandora at that moment? cause its going to be different if he wants to fuck evan, is fucking evan, wants to fuck dora, is fucking dora, wants to fuck both of them, is fucking both of them, or is fucking both of them cause they invited him to join their weird incest stuff.

im kinda leaning towards him already knowing that there's smth going on with evan and pandora and wanting to join them. that's when it makes me the most insane.

all those relationships are open relationships but he only knew that in theory until now. he never imagined pandora with someone who isnt evan and now it turns out shes into women too?? hes going insane. hes foaming at the mouth.

alecto is objectively attractive but also shes kinda like his sister. he knows too much about her to be attracted to her. he cannot. no. simply no. but also he did have to run away to the bathroom to jerk off that one time he saw her boobs. he convinced himself it was a coincidence and it didnt have anything to do with alecto's tits. he jerked off to the thought of evan.

but now it turns out those two girls who he knows so well and who are both attractive are fucking. two girls. fucking. attractive girls.

he goes into full shock for a minute and just sits there, stares blankly at the wall and imagines it and then he gets a boner and its really awkward for him but alecto doesnt even notice cause theyre both drunk. he leaves and she doesnt think about it, just gets herself another drink.

I gotta ask. do u think he ever joins them?

cause in my mind they'd never like. actually have a threesome or smth. but i could see a situation in which pandoralecto is having sex and barty's watching. (idk if its consenual or voyerism yet ill tell u when i decide)

anyway. love the dynamic of them three. u're a genius mwah bye

ok first of all i love you for sending this. like seriously i was smiling so big reading this. i’m so ready let’s get into it.

ok so upon further thought i kind of don’t think alecto would ever mention she’s fucking pandora to like. anyone. i think barty would just figure it out himself because he’s nosy and perceptive like that. and he’d need like two weeks to fully accept that as something that is happening.

because really the alecto barty friendship only works if he’s not attracted to her at all. @/foursaints and @/jewishregulus have made great posts about this but basically. alecto hates men like barty but she can tolerate barty because he never treats her like other men do. alecto doesn’t fit into barty’s vision of what an attractive woman is. she’s harsh and mean and she takes everything way too seriously. he just doesn’t understand that she’s attractive. she’s not a woman in his mind. and that’s the only reason alecto can be friends with him. (and yeah i do agree they have a sibling-like relationship which is again only possible because he does not like her like that).

so yeah his brain breaks a little when he realizes pandora and alecto are having violent hate sex. because that should be very hot to him. but then alecto is there. so. it’s weird. he gets a boner and a migraine every time he tries to imagine it.

i think you’re right that this is made even better if barty is aware of the rosier twincest but not directly involved yet. if he’s actively fucking pandora and/or evan there’s less mystery surrounding it for him. if he has already fucked pandora there’s less for his brain to break over.

so basically. no i don’t think he ever joins them or actively watches. i think he sometimes walks into heated arguments between alecto and pandora and that’s basically just as good/bad. alecto smashed a plate and now pandora’s holding a shard up to her neck pinning her against the wall. barty walks in like. 😦….. i’ll leave you guys to it. he cannot be involved because he truly doesn’t know where he’d fit into the dynamic. there’s no room for him.

[hearteyedbunny]

Nothing Would Be Harder Than Knowing You're Not Mine

shane/elfie

i wrote this back in september, but i think im finally gonna post it here. lil thing for shane and my farmer elfie. a little bit angsty but fluffy in the end <3

Shane was crazy. He had to be. There was no possible way that any of this was even real to begin with. He was deluding himself, like he always did, trying to convince himself that anything good could ever happen to the likes of him. He was just stupid. He was always stupid. She didn’t, and couldn’t love him.

The sound of the glass bottle being sluggishly placed back on the table echoed against the walls of his untidy room. At least it was on the table, unlike so many of the beer cans and assorted alcohol bottles littering the floor of his room. He always said he would eventually pick them up, but he supposed he said that about everything in his life. I'll pick up those bottles tomorrow, I'll start to cut back on beer tomorrow, I'll finally fucking do something with my life tomorrow.

Shutting his eyes, he groaned and leaned his head back against the wall he was sitting against. His thoughts were still swirling in his head even after consuming more than half the bottle. He knew he shouldn't drink the whole thing, but how else would he get rid of these thoughts of insecurity, of self doubt, of…her? 

She was so beautiful. Not in a human way, her teeth too sharp and her eyes having that animalistic instinct to them. Her long, dark hair shimmered green in the bright sunlight as her small horns poked out of the top of her head. Shane couldn’t help but think she was ripped straight from his dreams. Maybe an acid induced dream, but a dream all the same. She always seemed so ethereal, yet dangerous. Like an otherworldly being with the power to turn him to ash with just a glance of those wild eyes.

And what was he? A human? A pathetic one at that. All he ever did was drink, work, drink, work, and drink again. Occasionally he would interrupt his schedule to head over to her little cabin on the farm so she could have her fun with him. Not that he wasn’t grateful for it, oh how grateful he was to even have a woman look at him, let alone allow him to pleasure her over and over, but is that all he was good for? Sex? He couldn’t even wrap his head around the idea. Why was she wasting her time with him, of all people? Shane was convinced she pitied him, that’s what it had to be. She could have anyone she wanted, multiple people if she so wished. She was so heavenly and enticing, why was she screwing the town drunk? Did she enjoy toying with him, luring him into a false sense of security and then crushing his already fragile heart?

“Fuck,” Shane’s head was spinning, not just from the alcohol, but from all the thoughts rushing back to him. He drank to get away from these feelings, not to accelerate them. Groaning under his breath, he struggled to steady himself against the wall so that he could stand up. Maybe I need some fresh air, he thought as he stumbled his way out of his bedroom. Anything beats rotting inside my room. 

Thankfully, Marnie and Jas were nowhere to be found as he made his way into the kitchen. He grimaced at the thought of Jas having to see him this way, and he hated to think of what Marnie would say about her good for nothing nephew being drunk again. Sighing, Shane managed to grab a can of cold beer from the fridge before making his way outside into the evening sun.

The crisp, cool autumn air was at least a small relief to his burning face. Alcohol always made him feel so warm, but never in a pleasant way. He always loved this time of year, when the leaves turned different shades of gold and burgundy and the hot, humid summer air finally subsided. Every year autumn hit the sleepy little countryside of Stardew Valley and every year Shane asked himself why he never went outside more and enjoyed the weather. Depression would do that to you, he supposed.

Somehow he managed to stumble his way to the edge of the forest, the large pond coming into his sight. The old dock creaked and wobbled under his feet as he made his way to the very end of it, plopping himself down so that his legs dangled off the edge. Cracking open the beer, he leaned himself back on his other hand, taking a sip and looking out at the clear, blue water in front of him. He always loved coming here when his head was clouded, somehow it put him at ease even if just for a little while. For a moment he closed his eyes as his head continued to spin with his intoxication, but it didn’t stop him from taking another large swig of the beer in his hand. At least his head was swirling because of the alcohol and not because of all the thoughts and doubts he had about his…relationship. If he could even call it that.

Shane thought that if he fell asleep right here on this dock, he wouldn’t mind it at all. In fact, he felt himself starting to doze off until his peace was interrupted by a terrifyingly familiar voice that immediately snapped him awake.

“Shane!” Elfie’s always excited voice came from behind him, causing him to straighten from his relaxed posture and tighten his grip on the can of beer in his hand. Shit, he thought, Of course she’s here. Another reason to hate living in such a small town. Can’t a drunk man spiral in peace?

He hadn’t even turned around at the sound of her, too scared to even face her right now. The silence from him didn’t deter her at all though as she plopped herself comfortably next to him at the edge of the dock, her legs so long that the ends of her dirty work boots dipped into the water below them and caused a ripple.

“Hey!” She was grinning that too sharp grin at him, her canines seeming to be even sharper than her other teeth. Usually the sight of them caused Shane’s stomach to flip in delight, but all he could think about at the moment was throwing himself into the pond and to never be seen again. Wishful thinking.

“H-Hey…” He finally muttered back at her, only half meeting her gaze before he looked out into the water again, making sure to chug the rest of his beer as he did. He was definitely going to need it.

“I didn’t see you today! You’re usually always at the bar so I went there looking for you,” She smelled like sweat, Shane noted, but somehow the smell of her perfume still lingered on her skin despite how much labor she put into that farm, “But you weren’t there, and Emily said she hadn’t seen you either, so I thought you’d be home,” If Shane had been looking at her he would have noticed how animated she was as she rambled, always using her hands to talk and map out exactly what she was feeling. Not to mention how her tail swayed absentmindedly, another reminder that she was so wholeheartedly not human, and that Shane was way in over his head. 

“So here I am! And I found you!” She was beaming at him, her feet swaying as they hung off the edge of the rickety dock. Shane had only half been listening to her, mostly because of the alcohol fogging his brain, but partly because he just didn’t know what to say to her. He felt petrified, starting to sweat as all his racing thoughts came back to him full force.

What did he want to say? What could he say? Would she even care how he was feeling? They weren’t dating, after all. At least he didn’t think so. Why would she put any thought into how her latest fling felt? Is that what he was to her, a fling? That had to be it, that’s all he was to her. Just a fun little toy to play with until she inevitably got bored of him and realized what he really was. The town bum, a drunk, a depressed, lazy sack of shit that was only good for pitying. She didn’t return his feelings. He would never be enough for her to be considered anything more than a fleeting thought. He would never be good enough for anyone. Never, never, never, never, never…

“Shane?” 

He realized he had taken too long to reply as his thoughts suffocated and consumed him. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, exhaling loudly as he tried to compose himself, apparently forgetting to breathe in his haste. 

“Are you okay?”

He swallowed thickly, allowing himself a glance over at her despite knowing it would be a mistake. She was looking right at him with those beautiful, big brown eyes that shone golden as they reflected the setting sun. Concern traced her features as her thick brows furrowed slightly, causing Shane to look away quickly in shame. He couldn’t handle her looking at him like that. Like she actually cared.

“I…Yeah. I’m fine, just…” He couldn’t breathe, he felt like his chest was going to explode as his heart raced. His hands were sweating, “Can I ask you a question, Elfie?” 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, why was he so stupid? 

“Oh, yeah! Anything,” She didn’t seem to be picking up on his absolutely earth shattering anxiety, simply smiling softly at him and giving him all her attention.

Shane's mouth suddenly felt like sandpaper, his tongue too heavy in his mouth and his throat feeling like it was going to close up. His heart was beating so fast he could feel it thump-thump-thump in his ears, making his head pound. He should have brought more beer.

"Do you even care about me? Like, really care about me?" His voice broke slightly, tears stinging at his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He hesitated to say the word love instead, not being able to take the heartbreak if she said no.

"We sleep together, don't we?" She cocked her head slightly to the side, her eyebrows scrunching a little as she attempted to understand Shane's question.

"What? Yeah, but…" He avoided her gaze, his grip on the can of beer in his hand tightening so that it had started to dent. "That's not what I mean, and you know it."

"I don't know it," Her tail was twitching curiously as she watched him, trying to understand what he meant. He seemed upset, angry…but why? Didn't she show that she cared about him? They hung out all the time, they kissed, they were intimate. Isn’t that how humans were supposed to act when they cared about each other? Hadn’t she been doing that for months now? She knew he had been drinking, and she only hoped this was a spout of drunken stupor. Elfie wished that humans would just say what they really meant, instead of making her guess.

"You…" he huffed a frustrated sigh, his patience being strung even thinner than it usually was,"You do know. I know you do," He couldn't stop his hands from shaking, "I just want you to treat me like a real human being. I'm not just some toy for you to play with. I'm real, Elfie!"

She was quiet for a moment, only staring at him as his words washed over her. 

"But I'm…not a human being," Her words were laced with confusion. She didn't understand, but a pang of guilt shot through her chest nonetheless. She finally looked away from him, trying to find an answer as she glanced down into the rippling blue water below them, "I'm sorry, Shane. Is that what you want? A human?"

"Fuck," all the effort of holding back his tears was in vain, as they finally started to burst from his eyes and roll over his reddened cheeks. They felt hot on his face, the anger and sadness bubbling up inside of him and boiling over in the form of tears. 

"You don't understand," he didn't think he had ever felt so disgusting. Sure, he had endured countless nights of sobbing and drinking himself to sleep, but never had he felt so pathetic, so hopeless, so useless. He couldn't even look at her, he was too embarrassed. Here he was, a thirty year old man, crying his eyes out in front of the woman of his dreams. If she didn't already pity him and find him pathetic, she would now, seeing him in this state. 

Not being able to form words, Shane buried his face in the sleeves of his hoodie. He wished he could just disappear, or at least pretend that they had never met. Maybe his life would still suck, but at least he wouldn't have to torment himself over her.

She didn't know if she should touch him, but she did anyway, gently placing a hand on his back and rubbing in careful, soothing motions. Elfie realized that she had never seen Shane cry in the months that she had known him. He was always so calm, if not standoffish, never emotional like this. Then again, somehow she had never been around him when he was drunk either. She wanted to kiss his tears away.

Shane flinched away at her touch, "Don't pity me! Please, please don't fucking pity me," he pushed her away, attempting to push himself up to stand despite how liquid his whole body felt. Somehow he managed without slipping off of the dock, "I'm sorry. I just…I need to go. I'm sorry," He was still crying as he turned from her, his whole body shaking and feeling like it would fall apart at any second.

"Shane!" Elfie was quick to stand and follow him, not that it was very hard to catch up to a drunk man. She had reached out to grab him by the arm before realizing it would be a bad idea, so she kept it to herself, "Shane, please. You're right, I don't understand. Please tell me." 

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe the depression, maybe the months of never knowing if his feelings were reciprocated and never knowing where he stood with her. Probably a mix of everything as Shane couldn't stop himself from shaking and his tears just kept coming. Thick streams of liquid poured down his cheeks and dripped onto his already stained hoodie. He was so sad, so angry. Angry at himself, at her, at the universe. They had such a good thing going for all these months, why did he have to overthink things and make a mess out of himself like he always did?

He was still standing away from her, not daring to look into her eyes out of fear of completely breaking down. His chest felt so painfully tight, like it would just combust if he breathed the wrong way. His own arms came up to cradle himself in a last ditch effort to provide any kind of comfort to his aching body. He wished so badly that they were her arms instead. 

"I…" He took a shuddering breath as he tried to calm himself enough to talk. His voice was shaking, "What are we, Elfie? Why do you waste your time with me?" He hiccupped out another soft sob, "I'm nothing. I'm fucking nothing to you. You're so beautiful…" Shane felt fresh, hot tears wet his face once more. God, he was so drunk right now. He felt like he was going to pass out, "If you don’t want something serious, or you just want sex, then fine, but just tell me now so I can get over you."

Elfie had never fought the urge to hug anyone so hard before. Not out of pity like Shane was so convinced of, but out of genuine care. Even if their relationship was a mystery, they were at least friends and Elfie wanted more than anything to take care of her friend right now. Even if she was the reason he was in pain in the first place.

She cautiously took a few steps towards him, her voice soft and laden with concern, "I do care about you, Shane," She tried to choose her words carefully, knowing he wasn’t in a right state of mind, "I thought…I thought I was showing you that," her hands twisted anxiously behind her back. She was never very good at communicating her emotions, much preferring them to shine through her actions, "I liked you, so…When you came over that night…and we kissed…I thought…" she trailed off slightly, hoping she was making sense, "I thought this was how it was supposed to work. I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" She was fighting back her own tears now, her eyes blinking rapidly to try and ward them off. 

She had never intended to hurt him, she would never want to. She was inexperienced, still young for her species, and still trying to figure out what it was that she even wanted. When she had moved into that dilapidated farm and met the townspeople, met Shane, she was happy. She thought she made him happy too.

Shane felt his anger start to bubble again, quickly coming to a boil and spilling over the top, "Did you hurt me? Of course you hurt me! Why else would I be here crying my eyes out and looking like a fucking idiot!" He didn't mean to raise his voice at her, he didn't mean to, but he couldn't contain his emotions as easily as he could when he was sober. He couldn't even think straight, his head now pounding and his entire body shaking against his will. Why was he so worked up? Why was he even hopeful in the first place that maybe, just maybe, something good would actually happen in his miserable life?

"Do you want me to leave?" She didn't fight the tears starting to shimmer in her eyes. Her voice was unusually quiet and small. She didn't know what else to say. What could she say? She liked Shane, she liked all the humans around this small town, she never wanted to cause any harm or hurt anyone. Was she just stupid? Sometimes she felt that way, not picking up on their emotions and not knowing what the right thing to say was. She cared so much, yet never knew if she was doing enough.

Finally turning around to face her at the question, all of Shane's anger melted away and instead was replaced with a sting of guilt shooting right through his already aching chest. She looked so sad, so pleading. Like she was genuinely remorseful, like she genuinely didn't understand what she was doing. Shane had seen her cry before, but only over such small things. Like the time she had caught a frog outside in the rain, and she had hurried inside to show him. She acted like he hadn't seen a frog before, but she was so excited to open up her cupped hands and exclaim about it to him. She had been crying then (Shane! Look how small it is!), but out of pure joy. Now…she stood there, sniffling with tears rolling down her cheeks. Shane noted how she was still so, so beautiful even in her sadness.

"Elfie I…" He ran an anxious hand through his already messy hair, cautiously taking a step toward her. He was staring at the ground, the sight of her crying because of him was too much to bear, "I'm sorry. I'm drunk, I can't…" He squeezed his stinging eyes shut, wanting nothing more than to just lay down. He needed the biggest nap of his life right now, "I can't…Think. I'm sorry."

She could see him now, as he faced her. His handsome face now stained with tears and his eyes puffy. Had she done this to him? Had he been hurting this bad for so long, and she hadn't even known?

"Can I please hug you, Shane?" 

She didn't get a verbal response, Shane simply closing the space between them in a heartbeat. As quickly as she had asked, he was already there, his face pressed against her chest and his shaking arms wrapping themselves around her waist in an embrace. She returned it, holding him tight against her and leaning down a little to nuzzle her face in his dark hair.

He felt so safe in her arms. All of his sadness, his tiredness, his anger, melting away at her embrace. She was so warm and soft and wonderful, like nothing bad could ever happen to him as long as he was wrapped tight in her arms. 

"It's okay. I have you," Her words came out in a sweet whisper, one of her hands trailing up his back and up into his hair to stroke at it softly. He shivered at her touch, starting to cry again. How could she be so sweet, after he had just yelled at her for doing nothing wrong? He had made her cry, and yet here she was, comforting and cradling him like he even deserved an ounce of her kindness. Sometimes she seemed like Shane’s only saving grace. An angel fallen to Earth, bestowing upon him her unconditional compassion.

"Please don't leave. I don't want you to leave me. I love…" Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it you drunk fucking idiot, "I love…being around you," Shane hiccupped softly against her, whining as he struggled to form words. He had never felt more pathetic, but somehow he was at ease as she held him. Maybe he was just too tired at this point to care.

She shushed him, sensing how much he was struggling with his words. If she hadn't been holding him, he probably would have collapsed to the ground in front of her.

"We…we're so different. How are we going to make this work?" Shane sobbed, his fingers digging into the small of her back, "Do you want to make this work…?" His voice cracked, his tone pleading with her. Please, please don't leave me after this, he rattled off in his head, I'm sorry.

She didn't feel like she could answer at the moment, not even knowing how she felt. She liked him, she knew that, but he was right. They were so different, they were different species, sometimes they didn't even understand each other. But she wanted to try, if only to make up for how she had made him feel.

Elfie placed a soft kiss to his forehead, keeping her lips there as she spoke, "You need to lay down…do you want me to take you to the farm?" Her voice was even lower than a whisper, as if her sweet, soft words were a secret for Shane's ears only.

"Y-Yeah. Yeah," He let out a shaky sigh, "Thank you…" He wished he could stop crying, but her never ending kindness just overwhelmed him over and over again. She was such a good person, even if she didn't always understand the people around her. Shane envied her for that.

"Okay. Take my hand, come on," With that, they finally untangled from each other and interlocked their fingers as she led him up the path to her humble cabin. Shane tried his best not to stumble, but it was so difficult when his legs felt like they were made of jelly. It didn't help that his heart was still beating out of his chest as they held hands the whole way. He was sure they had held hands before, but this time felt…different. It felt so genuine, and he never wanted to let go.

Finally making it, Shane attempted to stumble up the three little steps before reaching her door. Elfie kept a hand against his back the whole time, stabilizing him and making sure he didn't fall. He practically collapsed into her bed, the familiar softness bringing him comfort as he finally felt his body relax. He couldn't stop a heavy sigh as he rolled onto his back and closed his eyes, the exhale making his chest feel less tight.

A sudden dip in the spot next to him caused him to lazily open his eyes back up, only half lidded now. She had sat next to him, her hand back in his disheveled hair and her nails lightly scratching at his scalp. It felt so heavenly, her hands always did. He made a small noise of approval as he looked up at her. She smiled as they made eye contact, her thumb stroking across his forehead in a loving gesture.

"I'm…" He let out another shuddering breath, trying to still his shaking body, "I'm sorry that you had to see me like this. I…" he squeezed his eyes shut so he could focus on talking, "I tried for so long to not drink in front of you…I don't want you to be scared…" 

"Shh. It's okay, Shane," She cooed at him, "I'm not scared. I could never be scared of you," She flashed her teeth as she chuckled, "You just need to rest, okay?" Suddenly she was getting up from the bed, much to Shane's disappointment, but quickly surprised him again as she walked to the end of the bed and started to untie the laces on his sneakers. 

"Let me get these off for you so you can sleep, okay?" Shane stared at her as she removed his shoes, then quickly removed her own boots and dropped them to the floor with a heavy thud. His heart was beating fast again.

"Why…Why are you being so nice to me, Elfie?" He was looking up at her again as she seated herself next to him once more. The gesture was still replaying in his head. He couldn't remember ever being taken care of like this, "I yelled at you…I…" I'm not worthy, he thought, "I'm an asshole."

Her smile was always so cute, so charmingly sweet, like she had never been mad at anyone in her life.

"Sometimes…" She teased. She remembered when they first met and he had been so rude as she introduced herself. It never deterred her, only making her more ambitious to befriend him. Maybe that did make her stupid, but she guessed it had all worked out in the end, "But…we're friends, right? And…friends take care of each other. So that's what I'm doing. Now, move over."

Struggling to move over, Shane gave her ample room to slide in next to him. They were facing each other now, able to look into each other's eyes with how close they were.

"Is this okay?" Elfie brought a hand up to cup Shane's tear stained face, rubbing a thumb gently over his cheek, then across his lips, "Can I kiss you?"

A smile finally cracked its way onto Shane's face, quickly twitching into a full on laugh at her question. A sleeve of his hoodie coming up to hide his face, trying not to offend her.

"What?" Her pointed ears twitched, her smile fading from her face as she looked at him confused, "Why are you laughing?" Did I say something wrong? 

"I'm sorry, I just…You don’t need permission to kiss me," He hadn't meant to laugh at her, but the question was just so absurd to him, considering how physical their relationship had been up to that point. He welcomed the laugh though, at least he wasn't feeling completely miserable now, “Elfie, we’ve…done a lot worse than that.”

"Well…!" She slapped him playfully on the shoulder, a toothy grin spreading across her face, "You…You said you wanted me to treat you real, so…I was thinking about your feelings!" She was mirroring his laughing now too, "So is that a yes…? I really want to kiss you."

"Y-Yeah. Please…" he gave a short huff through his nose as his laughing died down and her lips connected with his. He eagerly welcomed it, his eyes closing again as he leaned into her touch. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he pulled her in against him so that their bodies were flush with each other. He never wanted to let her go.

"Mm…" She sighed happily, smiling against the familiar feel of his lips against her own. She was purring, the noise startling Shane a little before he realized what it was. He didn't think he would ever get used to the fact that she could even do that. 

She was the one to finally pull away, still stroking her thumb against his cheek as she spoke, "Do you want to…talk? Um, about us, I guess. That's what you wanted, right?" She was trying to choose her words carefully as they looked at each other, anxiety now making a home in her own chest. She wasn't good with serious conversations. She had no idea where to even start.

Shane dipped his fingers underneath her shirt, just to touch her hip, just to feel her warm skin underneath his touch, "Yeah, I want to. I just…" His head was still spinning, but he seemed much more relaxed than before, "I'm drunk, babe. I can't…I can't right now. Tomorrow…" His voice was soft, sleepy, as his eyes fluttered shut once more. It felt impossible to open them again, his exhaustion overtaking him as he leaned into her.

She was still purring quietly, looking down at his tired face, wanting nothing more than to give him anything he needed.

"Okay. It's a promise," She was whispering again, causing Shane to shiver, "Get some rest, Shane. I'll be right here."

"Thank you…for taking care of me…" He managed to mutter out before dozing off, pressing his face in against her chest as he used it like a pillow. She giggled at that, returning a hand to his hair and petting him as he slumbered.

She hadn't meant to fall asleep, only meaning to ease him to sleep and then get up and do a few chores that she hadn't gotten to that day, but it couldn't be helped. It was already dark outside, and she had such a warm and soft man right next to her, holding onto her so sweetly as he snored quietly. She felt her eyes flutter shut, not even fighting to keep them open as she joined him in his sweet dreams. 

[its-a-hil]

extremely long poem-like excerpt from my diary last may under the read more you should definitely just scroll past it

gonna go to bed now.

i read all of my diary entries from junior year

i am so fucking annoyed by past sahil like god she just… doesn't know so many things about herself i want to give her such a big hug fuck

also stuff with <friend name redacted> and <friend name redacted> and all of that and it's just … really melancholic

also also apparently google decided it's time to just reset all of my google accounts in firefox?????????? very confused ugh

i need to go to sleep

and i need to tell her everything not just bc it would directly improve present me's quality of life, but bc i i want her life to be better i want her to go on e so much earlier fuck please i want her to not be broken i want me to not be broken i want this all to work i want my heart to be functional i want someone to rest their head on my chest and vice versa i want to not have all of this fucking hair on my body i want to never have to worry about what time it is i want to be warm im so cold my head feels stuffy i need to sleep

i know it's never productive to imagine the effect of a single change on my life but but what if i knew what if i watched eva and someone told me shinji was trans codded (assuming i even kin her at all) what if bna was out by that time or if i had played bandori and saw so much of myself in aya and hina and maya or if i had watched monogatari or if i had considered the reasons why i kinned shouma or if or if or if please why does everything in the past always feel so inevitable or a product of chance it's always one of those two

the only reason i watched monogatari was bc of that egoist002 channel putting klk music and also having that katanagatari amv somewhere and even then it took nearly a year for me to start monogatari and another half year to understand that gender was a thing and another two fucking years to be honest with myself god im still so mad about when dad said that he was upset that i said i was in denial when i told him i didnt want hrt like what the fuck im fucking sorry that i, a fucking 19 year old, didnt know what the fuck i was doing with regards to a subject that never made a ton of sense to me maybe transitions like that have to happen slowly because i can't do things instantaneously everything i do is always studying and convincing it looks like the end product comes out instantly, but it doesnt it takes so long i have to workshop everything and the more scared i am the longer it takes i was so scared i am so scared no that's not right im not scared im scared of a lot of other things, but not this im scared of some reactions to it but not it itself how can i be scared how can i fucking be scared of feeling like a person with agency over my life you dont fucking understand dad you either dont know how it feels to coast and hide and conceal your tears from yourself or you just dont seem to process what that means for me i hate cars i hate destinations i want to walk slowly i want to take note of every bird, every flower i want to linger in quiet moments forever i dont want to materially affect the world im too selfish for that i want to stop, and have everything else pause around me i want to watch, and think, and imagine i want to write, and teach, and study i dont want to work i dont want to drive i dont want to make money or use money i dont want to have to interact with it at all in my life why cant i just be why cant i just breathe and drink and eat and run and climb and talk to the people i care about why does everything have to be about money why does anything have to be about money i hate it its all so wrong it ruins even things that i should care about and enjoy i like messing around in spreadsheets but contextualize that as a money spreadsheet and i  will have such a mental block against opening it

where am i i feel like ive lost an important thread right trans

i want bigger breasts i want brighter hair i want to pass barrring that, i want to be unapologetically visible i want kids to see me and think of me as a monster who they have to listen to bc im their teacher i want to tell them about me i want to tell everyone about everything and listen to their everythings too im sorry

why is that it okay i actually need to fall asleep now why am i listening to prince of doom again fuck okay gn i guess bleh

[watchmegetobsessed]

ALL IS FAIR

a/n: woohoo!! finally a harry fic! lol sorry i got very into marvel these past weeks but im finally bringing you some harry content! this one was originally requested by an anon sometime and then we kept talking about it until i actually got around to write it! hopefully you’ll like it and if you do, please like and reblog!

pairing: ceo!Harry x ceo!plussize!reader

warning: sexual content

word count: 16.7k

masterlist

“Stop being such a stuck up dick, it’s your birthday, bro!”

Harry rolls his eyes at his friend who walks into his penthouse as if he owned. Niall Horan was so well-known in Harry’s building that he could have easily walked into any homes in the tower and people would still welcome him warmly. It might have a few things to do with the fact that half of the residents in the Compass Tower are women who are hopelessly in love with either Niall or Harry, hoping for a chance to drag either of them into their bed one day. They have a lot more chance to do that with the Irish bloke than with Mr. Styles. Not that Harry doesn’t find them attractive, but he is not the type to have one night stands, something his friend gives him quite a lot of shit for.

“Would you fuck off for twenty more minutes?” Harry sighs, shooting him a look as he covers the speaker of his phone, in the middle of a call.

“You have ten minutes and we are leaving. I’m not letting you work on the night of your thirtieth birthday!” Niall warns him before walking into the kitchen to roam the always full, neatly stocked fridge.

As much as Niall Horan comes off as an irresponsible cocky child, he is quite the businessman himself as well. As the Lawyer of one third of New York’s most influential people, he surely doesn’t have to worry about making a living, enjoying his luxurious apartment a few streets away from Harry’s place on the Upper East Side. It’s not as expensive and impressive as Harry’s penthouse on the top of the tower his father built in the heart of the posh neighborhood most people only know from TV shows, but he couldn’t complain.

“Another designer refused to sign with us, H. We are running out of options,” Lambert’s voice rings through the phone as Harry turns to the floor to ceiling window, staring out to the city skyline in front of him.

“We have quite a few left, right?” Harry asks clenching his jaw.

“Yeah, but I heard that Cometa is planning on announcing something big next week so I think a lot of them are waiting for that to happen.”

“Do you think it’s another collab? But they just had fucking Chanel have a line sold through them!” Harry growls, his blood boiling at even just the thought.

When it comes to fashion in the virtual world, there are two businesses that totally dominate the industry. In the men’s wear, Twisted is definitely the number one selling place. The idea started off as just a freshman school project that originally wanted to sell tech stuff, but a few years into the project Harry met Lambert who was already a rising star in the fashion industry and they joined forces, creating the most classic yet affordable and user friendly online empire: Twisted. Though Twisted mostly features men’s clothing, they’ve been trying to venture to the field of women’s fashion, but it hasn’t been as easy as they thought it to be. And the reason for that is Cometa.

Cometa was originally a website where anyone could sell their own clothes, make their online wardrobe sale. But eventually the business grew itself out and stepped up a few levels, collaborating with various designers and brands, selling exclusive lines and a highly praised seasonal variety four times a year, earning a well-deserved top spot in the online fashion industry. It’s hard to compete with what Julia Bianchi built up through sweat and blood and Harry Styles has been working on stepping up to be a major competition for Cometa in women’s fashion, with not much luck so far.

To top the cake with a delicious looking cherry, Cometa has been trying to set feet into men’s fashion as well in the recent years, bringing out several lines with some mentionable designers, but they never made it be as big as Twisted. The two businesses have been trying to outdo each other for about a decade now, with not much luck so far and Harry’s patience is running low by now.

“I don’t know what it is, but keep an eye out. I’ll call you on Monday, alright?” Lambert sighs through the line.

“Okay, thank you,” Harry nods, feeling a little defeated.

“And happy birthday, man. Go and celebrate!” he chuckles, making Harry’s lips curl up as well.

“Thanks, have a good weekend,” Harry bids his goodbye before the call ends.

Wandering into the kitchen Harry finds Niall with the thickest ham and cheese sandwich between his hands, sitting at the kitchen island.

“So where exactly are we going tonight?” he asks, grabbing himself a granola bar as he joins the Irish lad on the stool next to him.

“Oh, that’s a surprise,” he grins, mouth full as he chews mercilessly. Harry grimaces, not sure how this is the same man who can convince a judge about basically anything, wearing his designer suits, putting on an intimidating and serious act for his cases.

“I have a switch,” Niall once told him when he asked how he does it. “I just turn it off when I’m off the clock.”

“You know I hate surprises,” Harry informs him matter-of-factly, but Niall doesn’t seem to be bothered by his comment.

“You’re thirty now, no one cares what you hate.”

“Says who?” Harry huffs.

“Me,” he grins, making Harry roll his eyes.

The bass is throbbing, red tinted lights illuminating the exclusive bar in the heart of Manhattan where Niall chose to gather some of Harry’s close friends to celebrate his thirtieth birthday. Sitting in the leather couches at a restricted area at the back of the place, they are hidden enough not to draw too much attention to themselves but still feel like they are part of the party.

“Cheers to three decades of this cocky motherfucker!” Niall beams as their glasses meet in the middle, everyone laughing and wishing Harry a happy birthday before they all chug their drinks.

Harry is not necessarily the type of person to enjoy going out too often, but he admits it’s been a while since the last time he let loose. It feels nice to have the evening to himself, leaving the business behind for just a couple of hours before he returns to his busy everydays.

Though the occasion is Harry’s birthday, Niall is surely enjoying the evening a tad bit more than his friend. After Harry sees him send down three tequilas in a row he realizes it’s not gonna end well if he doesn’t get some water into his system as well. Excusing himself from the group he heads to the bar, pushing his way through the dancing bodies until he finally reaches his destination.

Given how it’s a Friday evening, the place is packed and he waits in the line patiently while the bartender is fixing up the order of a group of girls a few stools down from Harry. Leaning onto the counter Harry runs his gaze over the dancing crowd, tapping his fingers against the surface to the beat, even bopping his head a little when he feels a push from behind him.

“Oh, sorry!” A female voice calls out and as he turns around he spots the owner of it, a young woman, her curvy body wrapped in a tight mini dress that leaves very little to Harry’s imagination as his eyes run up and down her figure. He has never seen a curvy girl as confident as her, she is radiating, drawing every male’s attention to herself like she is feeding off the hungry stares and dirty thoughts birthed by her.

Her eyes meet Harry’s gaze and the sly smirk that tugs on her perfectly shaped lips gives it away that she is not that sorry to be bumping into him.

“No worries,” is all he manages to say, the urge to drop to his knees right then and there stronger than anything he has ever had to fight.

“He won’t notice you,” she tells him and his eyebrows knit together in confusion. “The bartender. If you just stand there like that… he will never come here,” she explains.

“I’m not sure I have what catches his eyes,” he jokes, making her laugh and he swears his stomach drops at the heavenly sound.

“May I?” she arches an eyebrow and Harry nods, letting her step in front of him. He stands tall above her, eyes fixed on her figure as she leans onto the counter, the marble pushing her breasts up just enough to spark the bartender’s fantasies when he glances in her way. She waves at him with a charming smile and a moment later the guy is standing in front of her, ready to please her in any way she desires.

“Three vodka sodas and…” she turns in Harry’s way, her lips slightly parted and his breath hitches in his throat. “What did you want, handsome?”

“Just, uhh—Just two water, please.”

Her eyebrows rise, but she doesn’t comment on it, just adds the two water to her order. The bartender nods and disappears to fix up her drinks. Harry takes a deep breath and sticking his hand out to her he introduces himself.

“I’m Harry, by the way.” She takes his hand, shaking it firmly.

“Y/N. Nice to meet you, Harry. Are you here alone?”

“Um, no. I’m here with a few friends,” he replies nodding towards the back of the place. “Are you here with someone?”

Please don’t say your boyfriend, please!

“A few of my girlfriends,” she smiles, brushing her hair over her shoulder, flaunting a better look at her naked neck and just one glimpse is sending a whirl of dirty thoughts into Harry’s mind. He wonders how soft her skin would feel under his lips, what her moans would sound as he sucks on it, leaving a mark on her, letting every man in the house know that he made her feel good.

“Are you guys celebrating something?” Y/N asks, a knowing smile on her lips as she most definitely saw Harry staring at her.

“Actually, yeah,” he chuckles a little nervously. “It’s my birthday.” Y/N’s eyes brighten up as she beams at him.

“Really? Happy birthday then!”

“Thank you,” he smiles shyly. “Are you guys celebrating something too?”

“Well, I…” she starts, her thoughts wandering off for a second before she continues. “I kind of got promoted,” she explains and Harry smiles down at her warmly.

“Congrats then!”

The bartender returns with the drinks and she is already about to get her card from her little clutch when Harry pulls his card out, handing it over to the guy behind the bar.

“Birthday boys shouldn’t pay for others,” she smirks, but doesn’t try to fight him that hard.

“You can pay me back later,” Harry shrugs with a suggestive smirk on his lips. He doesn’t want to part ways with her, but she is obviously expected to be back with her friends and he needs to get back to Niall as well before he absolutely loses control. Stepping closer to him, Y/N slides a hand up his chest, her palm resting at the base of his neck as she leans to his ear.

“Save me a dance, birthday boy?” she murmurs into his ear, her lips brushing against him for a split second before she steps back, grabs her drinks and winking at him one last time she disappears from the bar. Harry stands there for a few more seconds before the bartender hands him back his card and snatching the waters from the bar he heads back to his friends.

 Luckily, Niall is slowing down a little, The water does him well and Harry finally doesn’t feel like he’ll have to take care of him, dragging him home once the night is over. Sitting by the table Harry is trying to focus on the conversation, but his gaze keeps wandering over to the dance floor, looking for one particular curvy figure in the sea of dancing bodies.

It takes him some time to spot her, but when he does, he is not able to tear his eyes away from her.

She is almost perfectly in the middle with her friends surrounding her, lips and shoulders swaying to the rhythm perfectly. He catches her chug down the last sips of her drink before she disregards the glass and gets back to dancing. Watching her every move intently, Harry feels his lips slightly part at the sight of this angel who is for sure a devil in the sheets. He can’t stop himself fantasizing about what it would feel like to dig his fingers into her thighs, kiss her neck, her cleavage that’s on show now, how her curves would fit into his hands perfectly. He wants to praise this woman, make her feel good and not just because he wants to be selfless and please her, but also because seeing this woman reach her high because of him would be the biggest ego boost for him and he just needs that.

“Go dance with her!” Niall wiggles his eyebrows at him when he catches Harry staring at her.

“What? No, I’m not a dancer,” he shakes his head, shifting his eyes away from the dancing goddess on the dance floor.

“Oh come on, don’t be a pussy!”

“I’m not a pussy, I just—“

“You’re a pussy. I saw her looking in your way as well, she wants your dick!”

“Jesus, Niall!” Harry whines rolling his eyes. He doesn’t like it when he gets so vulgar, but luckily no one heard their conversation. Glancing back in Y/N’s way Harry sees how men are eyeing him, probably building up the courage to go up to her and that has his blood boiling. He needs to be the one to touch her.

Chugging down the rest of his drink he snaps the glass on the table before standing from his seat, ignoring Niall’s cheering as he makes his way into the crowd.

Harry didn’t lie when he said he is not a dancer, he feels uncomfortable, awkward and uncoordinated most of the times he tries to dance, but he is pushing all of those to the back of his mind for now as his eyes are set on one person in the crowd.

When Y/N spots the man approaching her, she can’t push a pleased smile off her lips, slowing her movements down as Harry finally reaches her, leaning closer to her ear so she can hear his voice over the music.

“Here to collect that dance,” he smugly tells her, making her laugh, though the music is too loud to let him hear her. She just nods and turning around she presses herself up against him, her backside fitting his front perfectly. Harry’s hand snake around her waist, his large palm smoothly moving through the silky fabric of her dress as they start moving together.

She is intoxicating, makes Harry feel like he is some kind of horny teenager, like he hasn’t dealt with women before, but in a way, she makes all of his past flings appear to be only girls. Her confidence in her own body is easily one of her best traits, the way she handles herself, moves her body, the look in her eyes, Harry is getting drunk on just watching her and now he is able to touch her as well.

When he feels himself getting hard in his pants, he knows he should be at least a slightly bit embarrassed by himself, but as Y/N turns around in his arms and he sees the pleased smirk on her lips, the feeling vanishes in a heartbeat. She wraps her arms around his neck as she pulls him close, her lips brushing against his lips.

“Enjoying yourself, birthday boy?” she prompts before pressing a kiss to the soft skin under his ear and he can’t hold a growl back. The friction is almost unbearable, as his hands slide lower on her back, stopping on her ass, he knows he won’t be able to control himself any longer. Luckily, he is not the only one having this inner fight.

Snapping around Y/N grabs his hand and starts pulling him through the crowd towards the hallway of the bathrooms. He follows her eagerly, lucky for them, the club doesn’t have restrooms with several stalls, but single bathrooms with a lot more comfort and privacy. Just what they need right now.

They find the third bathroom empty, pushing their way inside and locking the door before Harry pushes her up against it the moment it’s just the two of them, their mouths hungrily meeting in the middle. He almost grunts against her lips, she tastes even better than he imagined and the way her tongue is the first one to come into action has got his mind blown. His hands roam up her body, running up all her curves until they reach her face and he cups it in his palms, pressing his hips against her. She moans against his mouth when his hard cock pokes against her, both of them desperate to take it further.

Tumbling further into the small bathroom, he helps her up to the counter next to the sing, her legs instantly opening for him, her tiny dress rolling up her thighs, revealing her clothed sex. Harry eagerly kisses his way down her neck and chest, her skin feeling so smooth under his lips. His fingers hook under the thin straps of her dress, tugging them down so he can push the dress past her full breasts and thank God she is not wearing a bra underneath!

“Fuck me, you are so hot!” he breathes out, making her chuckle at his reaction.

“That’s what I’m trying to do,” she cockily answers before Harry’s mouth attaches to her nipple, his hand working on her other breasts before he switches.

He quickly gets down on his knees, pushing her underwear to the side before his lips and tongue meet her sensitive clit.

“Oh shit!” she moans, a hand coming to tangle in his hair while she tries to hold herself steady with leaning on the other one behind her. There’s no time for teasing now and they both know that.

She is so lost in the experience, Harry is licking and sucking just the right spots and she tries to close her legs, locking his head between her thighs. His arms come to curl around them, ring clad fingers digging into her flesh and the situation might be a little suffocating for him, but he doesn’t mind it a bit. In fact, if he died this way, he would die a happy man.

She doesn’t let him finish what he started, pulling him up, his lips still glistening from her own juices as she kisses him messily, wiggling herself out of her underwear while he undoes his pants as well.

“Shit, do you have a condom?” he breathes out when his palm wraps around his throbbing cock. She nods, reaching for her clutch she dropped to the counter and digging into it she grabs the package, smacking it against his chest playfully. “Were you planning to do this tonight?” he grins cockily as he rips the package open and starts rolling it down his hard length.

“No, I’m just smart, unlike you,” she retorts, her sass dripping from her tone and it just riles him up even more.

Grabbing her thighs he yanks her to the edge of the counter, a gasp leaving her plump lips as she tries to find her balance quickly.

“Don’t be a brat,” he growl against her lips before kissing her, while he lines himself up with her, the head already pushing in.

“Then fuck me, birthday boy,” she challenges him again and it’s the last straw.

Harry slams into her, both of them moaning at the sensation before he starts thrusting in a fast pace, needing all the friction he can make to get them to finish as soon as possible. Y/N’s head falls back as she holds onto the back of his neck, her other hand on the counter behind her again and Harry glances down, watching her breasts bounce every time he rails into her, slamming his whole length into her every time their hips meet.

She reaches for one of his hands that’s holding her thigh and she boldly brings it to her core, tapping his fingers to her clit, letting him know that she wants some extra effort. Harry doesn’t say it, but he is blown how she didn’t just do it herself, she made him do it. It’s got to be one of the hottest things he has ever seen.

“Fuck, go harder!” she gasps, wrapping her legs around his waist as he picks the pace up, feeling his orgasm building rapidly with each thrust.

They both are a whimpering, moaning mess, the bass of the music is thumping outside and for a moment, Harry feels like he is finally living his life to the fullest.

“I’m gonna cum!” she breathes out, his name falling from her lips moaning after that and when she pulls him down to kiss him, biting into his bottom lip and tugging it, he loses himself.

He feels himself jerking inside her, still sliding in and out of her as he grunts, releasing himself into the condom. He flicks his fingers on her clit at the same time, creating just enough friction to push her over the edge as well. He is coming off his own high when her walls tighten around his cock, dragging his orgasm out even longer as she basically screams, gasping for air, riding her orgasm out to the last bit.

Leaning down he kisses her again though they are still panting, this time making it a lot less rushed than the time their lips met for the first time. Her legs fall from around his waist and he pulls out, both of them cleaning themselves up in the aftermath of their little session.

“I know this was quite rushed and all that, but can I have your number?” he asks, even feeling a little nervous. She puts her underwear back on, smoothing her dress down as she smiles up at him, cupping his face in her palm.

“I’m afraid we’ll have to skip on that,” she tells him simply, shocking him for sure.

“D-Do you have a boyfriend or something?”

“No,” she shakes her head and now Harry is confused.

“You didn’t enjoy it?” he then asks, trying his best to figure out the reason behind the rejection.

“I did. But it was a one time thing. If it’s supposed to turn into more…” she sighs, grabbing her clutch from the counter. “Then I’ll leave it to fate if we ever meet again,” she shrugs before turning around she just unlocks the door and walks out, leaving Harry stand there in complete and utter shock.

This is definitely a first for him, a woman who doesn’t want to see him again. He is not that egoistic to think that everyone is in love with him, but he never had an encounter similar to this. Not after the most amazing sex ever.

Harry fixes himself up, still not believing she walked out that easily, but there’s not much he can do now. Walking back to his table, he acts like nothing happened and when his eyes scan over the crowd again, he can’t see her anymore.

Harry lets out a tired sigh when Zayn, head of the graphic design department walks into his office with a familiar brown paper bag with the logo of Harry’s favorite Chinese restaurant.

“Has it started already?” Zayn asks, though glancing at the big screen on the wall he can see the stream is still waiting to be started.

“No, I’ve been staring at it for like twenty minutes,” Harry grumbles, pushing himself away from his desk to join Zayn on the couch in front of the screen as he unpacks the food. “What do you think it’s going to be?”

Today is the day of Cometa’s big press conference and no one knows what they are about to announce. It’s been keeping Harry on the edge for the past few days, because whatever it is, it has got to be major. Julia Bianchi is not the type of person to hold press conferences, she is a private person who has managed to keep most of her life behind closed doors. That’s something Harry admires in the woman even though they are competitors in the business. He can relate to wanting to keep her life just for herself, he has been doing the same thing. No public appearances, no lengthy interviews, no photoshoots. He likes to let his work talk for himself and it’s proved to be a successful move so far.

“I don’t know, but I hope they don’t suddenly announce a full graphic makeover right before our update,” Zayn chuckles. He has been working on an entirely new appearance for the website these past weeks and it’s supposed to go live sometime later in the month. A change for Cometa would totally throw their attempt off, making them look like they are just copying Julia’s move.

They eat and wait for the stream to start when the screen finally comes alive. There’s an empty stage shown with just two mic stands in the middle and nothing really happens for a few minutes before clapping is heard from behind the camera and Julia finally walks on the stage.

The woman is a real diva. Wearing a matching pant suit with bold floral print all over it, her short hair is neatly straightened into a bob cut, her red lips smiling lightly as she waves around in the room. Julia has been in the fashion industry for almost three decades now and she surely made a name for herself, sitting front row in every fashion show she attends, her words on any new trend being basically the standard.

Stepping to one of the mics, she clears her throat as the clapping dies down and her calm, gentle voice rings through the speakers.

“Welcome, everyone, thank you for coming, as you might already know I’m Julia Bianchi, head of Cometa, the world’s best online women’s fashion house.”

Harry leans back in his seat, eyes fixed on the woman on the screen as he is patiently waiting to hear what she’s got for the people this time.

“I’ve spent twenty-seven wonderful years in the business, building my own one for the past two decades. I fell in love with fashion as a child and moved to Milan to study designing from the bests. Though designing has always and will always hold a special place in my heart, I saw an opportunity in the early years for a brand that would hold together every other brand in the industry, bringing it to everyone’s home thanks to the rapidly developing technology. Cometa has always been my little baby and I’m proud of everything I achieved as head of such a great company.”

Harry realizes what it’s about before Julia could even say the words herself. The phrasing, the nostalgic tone, it’s all adding up to the obvious: Julia is about to announce her retirement.

“I gave the best years of my life for this company and I regret nothing, but recently I’ve realized that it is time for me to slow down for a little bit and enjoy a life that’s not filled with work anymore, and spend more time with my beloved husband, Fabio and my family who supported me on my long way here. Therefore, I am now announcing it with an aching heart and a lot of excitement as well that I am stepping down from my role as CEO of Cometa. I might be leaving now, but my business will not. So it is a pleasure to introduce you the person who will carry my legacy on, my amazing niece, the absolutely most perfect woman to carry on the work I started, Y/N Y/L/N.”

The moment another woman comes into the picture Harry almost chokes on his own saliva, seeing the same curves he had his fingers dug into last Friday. Y/N smiles and waves around as she steps to the other mic next to her aunt, exchanging a short look with her before turning towards the people in the room and the camera that’s streaming the event.

“Dude, you alright?” Zayn asks, patting Harry’s back a few times as he is still struggling to breathe normally.

He refuses to accept that the woman he fucked in a bathroom on his birthday, the one that made him moan like never before, is the same woman who is going to take over his biggest competitor.

“This has got to be a joke,” he breathes out with teary eyes from all the coughing.

“It is an honor to be here,” Y/N starts speaking as the clapping dies down once again and the two men are staring at the screen. “Just like to be the one to step into the perfectly stylish shoes of my aunt. I hope to live up to not just her and everyone else’s expectations, but also to mine as well. I grew up watching my aunt build up this empire with basically dust so to be the person to take her place is a dream come true. I promise to keep the quality the same and work on improving Cometa to its possible best while being in charge.”

As she finishes talking, questions are thrown in her way, but Harry doesn’t pay attention any longer. Standing up he walks to the window, staring out to the city as he chews on his bottom lip anxiously.

“What the fuck is your problem, H? It wasn’t as bad as we expected, right?” Zayn questions.

“It’s fucking worse!” he snaps turning around. “I can’t believe this is happening to me.”

“Would you just tell me what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is that… I told you about what… happened on my birthday.”

“The bathroom fuck, oh yeah,” Zayn chuckles with a playful shine in his eyes.

“Well, that woman… the woman I fucked was her.” Zayn stays silent for a moment before he turns towards the screen, eyeing the woman on the stage as she is still answering questions, standing confidently in her tight, black dress and red heels.

“You fucked Julia Bianchi’s niece? And she is now taking over Cometa?” he raises his eyebrows at Harry who just nods, pressing his lips together into a thin line. “And she is also the one who didn’t give you her number?”

“Don’t… bring that up. But yes, it’s her.”

Zayn starts laughing, clearly finding Harry’s misery entertaining, but Harry doesn’t feel like taking it that easy. He wonders if she knew who he was, if she did it on purpose or it was fate’s horrible joke on both of them.

“Ah man, that charity event on Saturday will be one hell of a show then!” Zayn points it out and Harry’s face falls. He totally forgot about the charity event he was invited to, one that would have the biggest names in the fashion industry together in a ball room to raise money for a chosen good cause. It happens every year and it’s a major event, the perfect place to network and also to see your biggest enemies. That means that Harry will see Y/N again in a few short days and if he is being honest… he is not ready to face her, not after the information he learned today. Sighing he steps to the minibar he insisted on having in his office and though he never drinks during the day, he now thinks that now might be an exception. He pours himself some whiskey and before he chugs it down at one go, he lets out a long, tired sigh.

“That’s just my luck…”

Leslie helps you with the zipper of your dress, the silky, red fabric hugging your body like a second skin. She smoothes the wrinkles out while you fix the straps, staring back at yourself in the mirror with judgment. You need to look perfect, this is going to be your first time appearing at an event as CEO of Cometa, your big entrance into the industry, you can’t let anything go wrong.

“You look gorgeous, babe,” Leslie smiles at you, bringing your hair behind your shoulders as her eyes meet yours in the mirror. Leslie might be your assistant, but she is a lot more than that. You’ve been friends for almost a decade and when she lost her job a few years ago you didn’t hesitate to offer her a spot next to you. You wouldn’t be here without her, she doesn’t try to use her privilege of being your friend to not do the work, she is always on top of her game and you’ll always be grateful for her to not make it awkward at all.

“I think you need some diamonds though,” she winks at you, stepping to the table where all kinds of jewelry is sprawled out. She reaches for a simple one, not too much, quite elegant and you nod as she holds it up for you. Walking behind you she brings it around your neck, the diamond brilliantly sitting on your chest now, giving that little extra shine to your outfit.

“You’ll make every man fall in love with you,” she smiles at you and breathing out you nod, hoping to believe that everything will go perfectly.

While you make a few last minute calls she gets dressed as well before the car arrives for the two of you. She is wearing a less daring but still beautiful black dress, her curly hair pinned up into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, her heavily freckled face bright from her happy smile as the two of you make your way to the event.

“I know it’s ridiculous, but I tried to memorize the faces and names from the guest list,” she grins at you, earning an eyeroll.

“Les, I told you, this is not The Devil Wears Prada,” you chuckle softly. She is obsessed with that movie and hasn’t shut up about feeling like she is literally living in it since your aunt has shared her plans with you about your future position last year.

“I know, but it might be impressive if you already knew everyone!”

You have to give that to her, it would earn you a few good points if you knew the names already, you’re just still nervous about the whole thing. So many things could go wrong and you want it to be perfect.

 At first you feel intimidated by all the influential people around you. Everyone here is one of the bests in their own field and you feel like an impostor, but then you remind yourself that you earned your spot. Your aunt wouldn’t have given you the company if she didn’t trust you entirely with it. You worth no less than anyone else in this ball room and that reminds you that… you’re that bitch.

Leslie’s knowledge of names actually comes handy. You love seeing people get shocked when they try to introduce themselves to you, but you already greet them saying their names. It earns you some appreciative looks as you make your way around the room. Everything is going smooth, right until you spot one particular man in the crowd.

You’re in a little circle with a few designers when your gaze falls on Harry who is standing across the room, talking to two men. The champagne almost slips from your hand when you realize it’s him.

“Leslie,” you grab her wrist catching her attention. “Les, who’s the man in the blue Gucci suit?” you ask in a whisper and she follows your gaze, finding the man in talk.

“Oh, that’s Harry Styles, head of Twisted.”

“Fuck,” you mumble under your breath as you quickly excuse yourself from the conversation and head out to the balcony to get some fresh air before you faint right on the spot.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Leslie follows you.

“I messed up,” you squeak as you step outside, the chilly evening air hitting your uncovered skin immediately. “I messed up big time!”

“What? Why? What happened?”

Stepping to the edge, you wrap your hands around the railing, staring out into the void for a moment. Leslie Stands beside you, quite puzzled about your sudden panic.

“Remember the guy I told you about from Friday night?” you ask, keeping your voice down even though there’s no one really around. Leslie nods. “Well… he was the guy.”

Leslie glances back inside and then at you before her eyes widen and lips part in shock.

“You fucked Harry Styles at a club’s bathroom?!” she whisper-yells at you and you feel like a teenager who is getting scolded.

“I didn’t know who he was! And I genuinely think he didn’t know me either, how could he?! But now he is here and… Oh God, this is so bad,” you whine, your head dropping backwards as you let out a frustrated growl.

“Okay, don’t panic. Maybe… maybe he doesn’t remember you.”

“You can’t make me believe he doesn’t remember me after fucking me on a counter,” you tell her giving her a look.

“Alright, alright. Then… you just have to suck it up. It’s not like you can unfuck him,” she shrugs and though you know she is right, you just wish you could leave right now.

You never planned on seeing him again. Your bullshit speech about letting fate decide it was just an excuse to not give him your number. You didn’t want to because you thought he is not the kind of man that would be good for you. From his look you thought that he was either a fuckboy, not willing to commit to anything serious, or the kind of man that seems all nice and respectful at first but then turns out to be a total asshole and you’ve had enough of those in your twenty-eight years.

Soon enough you head back as the auction is about to start. Luckily, your seat is far away from Harry and it seems like he hasn’t noticed you yet. Though you wish to keep it that way, you can feel it coming already.

The auction goes by fast, you buy a new painting that will look amazing in your living room and almost twice as much money is raised through the evening that was the goal. You leave Leslie behind at the table as you go to the bar to get yourself another drink, probably your last one of the evening if you don’t want to end up making a fool out of yourself.

Patiently waiting at the bar you’re already thinking about watching Grey’s Anatomy when you get back and out of this tight dress. You look hot, but it’s not the comfiest look, if you’re being honest. There’s only one more person in front of you when you feel a little tap on your shoulder and turning around your stomach drops when you see the man you’ve been trying to avoid all evening.

“Fancy seeing you here, Y/N,” he nods shortly, his expression is quite blank, but he is definitely not shocked to see you. You tighten your jaw before looking away from him, squinting your eyes a bit.

“You don’t seem surprised,” you point out.

“I was kind of expecting to see you here tonight.”

“So you knew who I was all along?” you snap at him, but he shakes his head.

“Not until the stream this week. I was pretty shocked when you walked on stage.”

Nodding shortly you brush your hair over your shoulder and you catch Harry glimpsing down your body, but decide not to comment on it.

“Did you know who I was?” he then asks, digging his hands into his pockets.

“No, I wouldn’t sleep with my biggest competitor willingly.”

“Just from the abrupt ending I had a feeling that you might have known me.”

“Just because a woman doesn’t throws herself into your arms after a fuck, doesn’t mean she had ulterior motives,” you scoff. “Get off your high horse,” you add before turning back towards the bar so you can order your drink. Unfortunately, Harry doesn’t want the conversation to end just yet. His hand is laid flat on the counter in front of you as he stands on your right, a little too close to your liking. You can smell the expensive cologne on him, the same that hit your nose on Friday as well and suddenly your body is betraying you.

However crazy the situation is, you can’t deny that he gave you one of the best times last Friday. Men you dealt with were more concerned about their own pleasure and most of them didn’t even get you to finish. But Harry made it happen so fast and didn’t even bitch about it when you made him rub your clit. He just obeyed like a grownup man who is willingly take care of his partner. That almost made you change your mind about leaving, but once you came down from cloud nine, you returned to your original plan.

But not as he is standing in front of you and you can smell him, your senses trick you into thinking that you’re in that bathroom again, almost aching for him to touch you the way he did then. He leans closer to your ear as he speaks up again.

“Leave the drink, dance with me,” he tells you as the bartender places your drink in front of you. You debate what to do before grabbing the drink and chugging it down in one go. You’ll need the alcohol if you are about to dance with your enemy.

Harry takes you to the dance floor in the middle of the ball room, one of his hands finds the small of your back while the other takes your hand as the two of you start swaying to the gentle music played by the band.

“Your aunt set my company back in women’s fashion every time I tried to take a step forward. Are you going to do the same?”

“She didn’t do anything to set you back but to build her own company. Not everything is about you.”

“You sound a little naïve, Love. It’s pretty clear you are new in the business.” This statement riles you up big time. How dare he degrade you like that? He knows nothing about you, yet he assumes things that are not at all real.

Smirking to yourself you lean back enough so your gazes can meet. Your hand slides up from his shoulders to the base of his neck so your fingers can gently brush against his skin and you notice the shudder than runs down his spine. He is not the only one having flashbacks from your last encounter.

“Wanna know what I know about business?” you purr, his eyes glued to your red lips as you speak. “I know that… Twisted was one of the last sites to participate in personalized ads on online platforms, failing to reach it’s targeted audience as fast as literally everyone else. I know that your company and my company use the same security system in our server rooms yet I can assure you that it cost me twenty percent less because we waited a month before installing it and got a huge last minute discount because the security company was trying to boost their numbers for their end of year closing. And I also happen to know that you are working on a new design for your website that could easily be outshone if I just did the same before you could do it.”

Harry’s lips part, probably mostly at the last information. He has no idea how you know these stuff, but you have a wide circle of connections in the city, you have an insider at every big companies in the industry without them even knowing. You’ve given countless tips to your aunt through the years, that’s how she managed to stay on top of her games.

Leaning closer your lips almost brush against him and you see how he weakens, he is expecting you to kiss him and he wants it. But you just smile at him, your eyes snapping down to his lips before up to his eyes.

“I will not do the same as my aunt, Harry,” you softly speak, your fingers grazing the back of his neck. “I will do way worse things.”

And with that, you slip out of his arms and walk back to your table, leaving him standing there alone at a complete loss of words.

“What the fuck had gotten into you?” Niall grimaces upon hearing everything he told you on the evening of the charity event. And quite frankly, Harry has no answer to that. He has absolutely no idea what had gotten into him to act like such a dick when you didn’t do anything against him.

The situation just messed with his head, seeing you in that breathtaking dress, mingling with everyone, smiling and laughing, oh how he wished you were laughing on his jokes! But then you seemed so tensed when he came up to you and something just switched in him. He wanted to take dominance, to somehow get out of it on top, but he miserably failed. When you brought up their plans to change the design he completely froze.

“No idea, okay? I just…lost it,” he growls, sinking into the couch. When Niall found out that Harry met the woman from the club again he insisted on coming over with some wine to talk it out, but he was not expecting this kind of story at all.

“Dude, you just put yourself on her radar big time, maybe she wouldn’t have even bothered to compete with you like her aunt did, but you surely changed her mind now.”

“I know, Niall!” Harry growls, not in the mood to be scolded like a little child. “Do you think she’ll change their design before we do?” he peeks at his friend, but Niall just shrugs.

“No idea, but I would try to speed it up before she actually does it.”

 Harry made you into a ticking bomb and you successfully got under his skin about the whole design project so first thing the next morning he went to Zayn to discuss a possible earlier debut for the new designs. Though it would be a close stretch, they agreed that it would go live by the end of the week and that got Harry somehow a little relieved, but in the middle of that he failed to put the right amount of effort into finding designers for their female lines.

When he meets up with Lambert a few days later he is not there to deliver great news. Apparently, three out of the four designers they were negotiating with recently pulled out of their deal and signed a contract with Cometa.

“We have one last designer on the list, but then… we are out of the bigger names,” Lambert sighs as Harry chews on his bottom lip anxiously. He feels like he has fallen into a hole a while ago and instead of climbing out he is just digging it deeper underneath him.

“Okay, do we have an appointment with them?” Harry asks.

“Yeah, I’m meeting her this afternoon.”

“I’m going with you,” he nods before standing from his chair and opening the door he calls out for his assistant. “Rebecca, please clear my schedule for this afternoon, I’ll be out of the office.”

Rebecca nods behind her desk, already starting to make calls about Harry’s meetings and appointments.

It’s obvious he is anxious about the meeting, because if it falls through they are forced to look for less known designers and that won’t bring the change for the company they’ve been seeking for a long time. Arriving to the showroom where the designer is working, Harry is setting his thoughts straight, determined to convince her to sign a contract with them. The two men are let into the building by the nice assistant working at the front desk and she shows the way to the showroom where Kennedy, the designer is waiting for them.

Harry is confident, he trusts his skills to make this happen, but when they walk inside he instantly freezes upon seeing an all too familiar figure standing with Kennedy

A maroon colored pantsuit is hugging your curves, a Hermés handbag hanging from your arm, your hair falling in loose curls. As if you could sense his presence, you peek over your shoulder, a devilish smirk on your lips when you see the shocked expression on Harry’s face.

“What a great surprise!” you beam, selling how happy you are to see him and in a way, you are. You wanted to see his face drop when he realizes you snatched yet another designer from him.

“Oh, Mr. Styles!” Kennedy smiles nicely at him and he finally snaps out of his trance, shaking hands with her and then turning to you, doing the same but in a lot colder manner.

“Y/N, nice to see you again,” he fakes a smile as your hand falls from his palm.

“I could say the same. But I’m heading out now. Great talk, Kennedy. I’ll be waiting for your call,” you wink at the young designer who seems to be thrilled by your words as she walks you to the exit.

“Fucking hell,” Harry mumbles under his breath and Lambert shoots him a look before Kennedy returns.

The three of them take a seat on the couches in the corner of the room and Harry is quick to get down to business, trying his best to make his offer appear more appealing than anything you told her right before their arrival. Kennedy listens intently, even takes notes and then she shows him some examples of what she was thinking about for her next line and Harry is beyond thrilled.

Unfortunately, soon comes the painful part.

“Harry, I’m gonna be honest with you,” Kennedy starts and Harry already knows what she is about to say. “Your offer is very tempting and it would be an honor to design a line for Twisted, but in my situation it would be more beneficial if I collaborated with Cometa. It is nothing against your company, it’s more about my personal path and growth.”

Harry can feel his stomach dropping and he clenches his jaw as he listens to Kennedy’s worth. He understands, of course he understands, she has the right to selfishly look at her own benefits upon signing with a new company, but he wished she would take the risk and chose his company instead of yours.

“I’m keeping the offer open for you still,” he forces a smile on his face. “If you change your mind, Twisted would be more than happy to work with you.”

Kennedy walks the two men out and the fake smile quickly vanishes from Harry’s face upon stepping out of the building.

“What are we going to do now?” Lambert asks, clearly worried about how they’re gonna move forward with their last chance falling.

“If Y/N wants a war, that’s what she’ll get,” Harry growls, revenge burning in the greens of his eyes.

It’s a quiet Friday afternoon, only hours left from the day before you are headed home finally. You’re sitting in your office with Leslie, going over next week’s schedule to make sure everything is set and clear.

It’s been almost an entire month since you stepped into your aunt’s shoes as head of the company and though the start was a little rough, especially with finding out who Harry was, but you feel like you have everything under your control by now. After all, you didn’t learn business for years from the bests for nothing, right?

Harry’s comment on you knowing nothing about the industry made you bitter, because he knows nothing about you and the struggle you went through your life to get to this point. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbow, being Julia’s niece might have been a hugely influencing aspect of you taking over, but you worked your ass off to be the best leader you can and not just ruin everything she built up through her whole life.

Though you didn’t always want to be the one following her, but you like to think that things worked out to your favor and you are where you should be.

“Alright, everything is looking fine,” Leslie smiles at you over her laptop. “I’ll send you the notes from today’s meeting.”

“Thank you. Can you call in with the delivery company about next month’s transactions?” you ask her and she nods, already adding it to her list of tasks for the rest of the day. “Alright. I’ll do the rest of the signings and then we can head out,” you smile at her.

Leslie is grabbing her things from the table when there’s a soft knock on the door. You give your permission and one of the tech support guys walk in with a worried look on his face.

“Miss Y/L/N? I’m afraid we have a problem,” he clears his throat and you can already feel your anxiety crawl up on your spine.

“What is it?” you ask firmly. The guy steps farther inside, fumbling with his fingers as he presents the issue.

“There’s been an attempt to break our software’s security system where we keep our data about the sellings. A-And I’m afraid it wasn’t just an attempt, they succeeded.”

You take a deep breath, glancing over at Leslie for a moment before you follow the man to the tech department to investigate the issue further. You don’t know shit about these stuff, but from what he said you know the trouble is huge and if you don’t solve it as soon as possible, valuable data could leak out to the public. They try to explain you what they are working on as of right now and that there’s not much you can actually help with.

“Make sure to put your extra hours on your attendance sheets and let me know when you are able to restore the system,” you tell them and you earn quite a few thank yous on your way out for actually paying the overtime. Then you turn to the guy that first came to your office. “Do you have any information about who it could have been?”

“We weren’t able to track them back, but whoever it was, they’re surely professionals and they might know the system from the inside.”

“What do you mean from the inside? Someone did it from the company?” you ask, eyebrows knitting together as you fold your arms on your chest.

“No,” he shakes his head. “We would have been able to track that back. I mean that they know the system, maybe they worked somewhere where the same one was used and they could see into it.”

It takes you a few moments before you realize what this really is and it has your blood boiling right away. Nodding shortly you exhale sharply through your nose.

“Thank you, please call me when it’s up and running again, I’ll take care of the rest,” you tell him before turning around you walk away.

When Leslie sees you approaching your office with a head practically turning red she is quick to jump to her feet, following you into the office.

“What’s happening?”

“Harry Styles, that’s what happening,” you snap as you grab your phone, purse and coat before heading out, not wasting another minute.

“What? Where are you going now?”

“To the devil himself,” you growl back and enter the elevator, leaving her alone with her questions.

Sitting in your car on your way to the headquarters of Twisted, you imagine every scenario you want to make happen when you arrive, most of them including hitting the man across his ridiculously handsome yet annoying face. He crossed a line with breaking into your system and stealing valuable data. Though you’re sure he wouldn’t dare to sell or publish it, because he would be in a big legal trouble if he did, he still had a glimpse into your numbers and that’s already an advantage. He is playing dirty and you’re not having any of it.

Arriving you burst through the doors and demand to see him. Though the woman behind the front desk tells you that you can’t see him without an appointment, you still get her to make a call up and naturally, Harry allows you to see him. The fucker might already have been waiting for you to show up. As you stand in the all glass elevator, on your way up to meet him you take a few deep breaths to keep your cool and not snap like a maniac, however it all vanishes when you see him waiting for you with that shit-eating grin on his face when you step out of the elevator.

“You’re lucky I didn’t go straight to the police with your little stunt, you fucker!” you snap, not able to hold back your swearing any longer.

“Do you have any evidence?” he tilts his head to the side and you don’t miss how his gaze runs down your body as you march towards him. You’d find it flattering in another situation, but right now you just want to punch him in the face.

“I’ll show some evidence down your throat, Styles, if you don’t stop messing with my security system,” you growl back, standing so close to him now that you see every tiny freckle and blemish on his face and the way how he clenches his jaw, holding his gaze on yours.

Without a word or invitation, you walk into the room that you suppose is his office and he follows with a soft chuckle.

“Did you hire a hacker just to mess with me?” you throw the question at him as he closes the door so his employees don’t hear everything.

“What if I did?” he shrugs, stepping to the tray on his desk that already has a glass of whiskey on it. He grabs the glass and simply lifts it to his lips, taking a tiny sip from it. “Oh, excuse my manners. Would you like a drink?”

“I’m driving,” you answer shortly. “You crossed a line, Harry,” you warn him.

“What line?” he chuckles, rather entertained by your rage. “After what you pulled with Kennedy, I think I went easy on you.”

“I didn’t pull anything, I just gave her a better offer! It’s not my fault she has better chances with my company!” you snap back, feeling your heartbeat fastening from the anger that’s boiling in your veins.

“You knew I wanted her to design for me, why couldn’t you just let one person out of your endless list? You already have everyone else, she was my last fucking chance!” Harry barks back, clearly having some built up tension in him as well.

“If you didn’t act like an arrogant asshole at the charity gala, I would have happily let you work with her, but then you felt the need to fucking degrade me! That’s why I didn’t let you get away with it!”

Harry opens his mouth to answer, but he quickly closes his mouth, probably knowing well you’re right. He did act shitty towards you that evening and he has no excuse for his behavior. You walk closer until there are just a few feet between the two of you, your eyes glued to his burning green gaze that’s staring back at you, but before you could speak up, he cuts you off.

“Well, you know. All is fair in… war and business,” he shrugs and you honestly barely can stop yourself from laughing at how stupid that just sounded. You can’t miss the twitch in the corner of his mouth as well and you can’t believe how easily he made you break out of your rage.

“Don’t try to make money out of writing slogans,” you huff shaking your head and now he is grinning widely. “Do you have the data?”

“I don’t,” he answers and you narrow your eyes at him.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not,” he chuckles. “I had it, but I already deleted it. I know it wasn’t ethical so as soon as it was handed to me I deleted it. I didn’t even look into it. I just wanted to scare you.”

“And how do I know your hacker doesn’t have it either?”

“Because he signed a contract that would cost him millions to break and I don’t think a junior in college who is still living in a dorm can afford that,” he points out and now you are somewhat convinced. You stare back at him for a few more seconds before nodding.

“Stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours, how does that sound?” you offer generously.

“Where’s the fun in that?” he questions with a smug smirk that makes your arch an eyebrow at him. “What are you doing tomorrow evening?” he then asks and you can’t mask your surprise in front of him.

“That does not concern you, Styles,” you scoff, though it boosts your ego that even through all the hate you’ve been targeting at each other, he still wants you the same way he did at the club that evening. You can’t deny, this rivalry has sparked a few thoughts in you as well, but you are not going to fall into the same mistake you made that evening. You pay him another smirk before turning around and heading towards the door. “Stay out of my way, Styles!” you call back without looking at him, but you just know he is grinning at you, a growing sexual tension thickening the atmosphere in the room.

“Or what?” he smugly questions and you stop at the door, glancing back at him over your shoulder.

“Or… You said it yourself. All is fair in war and business,” you smirk before walking out of the office.

Following your visit to Harry’s office things take a… playful turn in your rivalry. The attempts and competing don’t stop, both of you are on each other’s radar, ruining and messing with each other’s projects and works whenever and wherever it’s possible, but it’s not as hateful as it was at the beginning. If something, it even helps you to always be on your toes and watch out for possible threats, not just from Harry but from everyone else.

Neither of you succeeds in evolving in each other’s field, Cometa keeps thriving in women’s fashion with a quite small variety offered for the gentlemen while Twisted fails to grow out of men’s fashion and venture to the ladies, but somehow it’s not as frustrating as it used to be before.

Harry keeps up his flirty acts and tries to ask you out every time your paths cross each other, but you relentlessly turn him down every time, only fueling him to keep chasing after you more the next time. It’s a thrilling and flattering little game, knowing that even with all the rivalry between the two of you, being the biggest competitors in the business… he still wants you.

New York fashion week rolls around and it’s by far one of your favorite times in the year. You managed to snatch an exclusive deal with YSL to release a special line just for the fashion week and it sold out in the first two hours, now waiting to be restocked in a few days. Cometa is thriving and your aunt has expressed her pride towards the work you’ve been doing at the company, so things are heading the right direction.

You knew Harry would be attending the same shows as you, but it’s fate or just luck that you are seated next to each other at one of the shows, giving you the chance to talk without any of you attempting to corrupt the other this time.

Harry is already sitting in his seat when you arrive wearing a custom made Gucci dress, something that immediately catches his eyes since he is a huge fan of the brand himself.

“Your fashion sense never disappoints, Y/N,” he beams up at you as you take the seat next to him.

“Hope that’s not surprising, Styles,” You smirk at him, taking a glance at his own Gucci outfit, the checkered pants fitting him perfectly while the pussy bow adds some spice to the whole outfit, you have to admit. He looks good, he always does.

“Any plans after the show?” he asks right before the lights go out and the show starts. You leave him without an answer, just let out a soft chuckle as you glue your eyes to the first model who walks the runway.

Once the show is over you head out with Harry by your side, having an actually entertaining discussion about the designs you just saw. He might not be an expert in fashion, but he has developed a good sense through his years.

As you make your way out of the venue you are stopped by an interviewer and Harry remains on your side as the woman asks you a few questions about the show.

“I’ve always wondered, does it bother you that you couldn’t be on the runway yourself? You’ve been sitting front row the past years, but you once had aspirations of being a model yourself, is that right?”

The question makes you tense up and you can feel Harry’s puzzled look on you from the side.

“It’s not like it was my fault for not making it up there,” you sass back, forcing a smile to your face.

“Well, that’s not entirely true,” the woman chuckles and it has your blood boiling, because you know the real meaning behind her words.

It’s your fault you didn’t become a model because you were never thin enough to be one. It was your fault and not the industry’s to hold impossible standards to women who wanted to succeed as a model.

The smile falters from your face and you take a long, judgmental look at the woman in front of you. Because if she is brave enough to talk like that to you, you’re not gonna shy away from bringing her spirits down either.

“Judging from your appearance and attitude you wouldn’t make it either,” you spitefully reply and her smile quickly fades, clearly shocked at your answer. You open your mouth again, ready to continue, but then you feel a hand on the small of your back and you realize Harry is still standing next to you.

“Come on, we have somewhere to be, right?” he smiles kindly as you just simply nod and walk away from the woman before she could offend you again.

Harry senses your tension as the two of you leave the venue but doesn’t try to talk to you and that’s a wise choice from him. As you step out of the building you realize that if you went home now you’d probably get drunk on your own and let that comment get to you more than you should. So instead of doing that you turn to Harry.

“So, what are our plans?” you ask and you don’t miss the small smile on his lips as he stares back at you.

Not in the mood to stay around people at a bar you accept Harry’s invitation to his place, since it’s also close. The contrast between his extravagant penthouse and your cozy but still quite modern townhouse in Park Slope is major, but you didn’t expect anything less from the man.

You’ve managed to calm down since you left the venue, but you’re still quite bitter about the comment the woman made. Harry hasn’t tried to ask you about it, but you can tell he is dying to know more about the situation that’s behind the madness.

He fixes you a drink and you find yourself sinking into his comfortable and probably ridiculously expensive couch in his living room area.

“I used to want to be a model,” you start, breaking the silence that settled between the two of you. “When I was a teen. I was a lot thinner, I was a competitive dancer until I was seventeen, but I had a knee injury, so I had to quit.”

Harry sits on the other end of the couch, listening to you with patience as he sips on his own drink.

“I was never as thin as the other models at the agency I was trying to get into, but I definitely wasn’t overweight. Yet, they labelled me as a plus size model. I was a healthy, strong young girl with a perfectly good body, yet they told me that I was too fat to be a model.”

Glancing at Harry, you can tell that he is surprised at the information he just learned. He is probably picturing you thinner now, going to model castings and if you’re being honest you enjoyed that part. The trouble came when you got rejection after rejection, telling you to lose weight and come back after that.

“I quit my whole plan to be a model and studied fashion and business instead, consciously working my way towards this point. But I never got over how the industry made me feel less of a person because I wasn’t a size zero.”

For a few long moments Harry just stares at you and it’s actually nice that he doesn’t try to make you feel better right away, praising you how you are perfect just the way you are. Because you’re not, but that’s fine because no one is.

“I’ve honestly never seen a more cruel industry than fashion before,” he then speaks up. “I didn’t grow up in it and still don’t really have that much and deep connection with it, but I know how fucked up it is. And it’s nice to see that you know your worth even after everything that happened.”

Your gaze meets his and you’re looking for any sign that gives away that he is just messing with you, but it’s all genuine. You just shoot him a small smile before lifting your drink to your lips. It’s the most intimate moment you’ve shared with him, including the ones you had in that bathroom.

“Okay, now you tell me something about your life,” you prompt, wanting to divert the conversation on him a little bit.

“What do you want to know?” he asks with a soft chuckle.

“Why did you name your brand Twisted?” you ask. The question has been on your mind for a while.

“It’s coming from my mum’s name. Anne Twist.”

Your eyebrows shoot up, you weren’t expecting such a deep and personal reason behind the name, connected to a family member.

“Why her?”

“Why not?” he smirks shrugging his shoulders. “She raised me and my sister up, I wouldn’t be here without her. It was obvious I would make her be part of it in some kind of way.”

“That’s actually very nice. Who knew that you could be something other than an egoistic asshole!” you joke, making him laugh as well.

“Okay, what’s the meaning behind your brand?” he then turns it back around.

“Well, my aunt met her husband when they were very young, maybe eighteen. She fell in love with Fabio on her trip to Italy and being the impulsive and adventurous woman that she is, she stayed for a month there just because of Fabio. He is a very passionate man and he was always ready to bring the stars down for Julia. He always used to tell her that he would even catch a comet for her, if that’s what she wanted. And that was my aunt’s favorite saying from him. Cometa is comet in Italian. It’s her tribute to the love of her life.”

“That’s easily the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard,” Harry hums and you just smile nodding at him. It really is like a fairytale and it’s also one of the reasons why you were so happy to take her place at Cometa. Julia is still just as in love with Fabio as she was at eighteen and she deserves to spend more time with her beloved husband. She earned the time off after all the sacrifices she made for the company and all through them Fabio stayed by her side. It’s their well-earned happy ending now.

“You know a lot about romantic things?” you cock an eyebrow at him, finishing up your drink.

“Actually, I’m a quite romantic guy.”

“Are you now?”

“Yeah, you just never gave me the chance to show it to you.”

“Oh, so now I’m the bad guy?” you chuckle, handing him your glass when he stands from the couch to get you a refill.

“Exactly!” he chuckles holding up your empty glass on his way. “I hope you know you absolutely broke my heart when you didn’t give me your number that night.”

“Oh, you poor little thing,” you chuckle, resting your head in your palm, your elbow on the back of the couch. “I’m not sorry though. You didn’t give out the right vibes.”

“The right vibes?” he huffs as he returns with your drink and now sits a little closer to you. “What vibe did I give you?” “The vibe that told me I shouldn’t mess with you,” you simply answer as you take a sip from your refilled drink.

“You were so keen on hating me even before you knew who I was, I can’t believe you,” he chuckles shaking his head.

“I’m just cautious!” you protest. “I’ve dealt with some problematic men in the past, I can’t let myself walk right into another one that easily.”

“What did they do?”

“Some men just can’t treat women right. Especially confident ones with a body like mine,” you simply shrug.

Men like to think that bigger girls are so terribly insecure about their body that they need the validation of a male to feel good about themselves. But when you’re confident and feel good in your own skin without needing them to praise you, they think that you’re egoistic, so full of yourself and they are quick to try to drag you down. That’s something you can’t tolerate. You don’t need a man to feel good about yourself, you don’t need anyone for that. You know your worth and that’s all that matters.

Harry’s eyes travel down your body, taking his time on your curves and you smile shaking your head as you reach out and cupping his chin you pull his head up so he is looking into your eyes.

“I honestly can’t see what problem anyone could have with your body. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since our bathroom fiasco,” he bluntly comments making you chuckle, even flattered by his words.

“You are such a flirt,” you grin at him and he doesn’t try to protest.

You stay for a couple more drinks and you drop the heavier topics, venturing over to music, fashion and any funny stories that come to your mind. Harry is actually amazing company when you’re not trying to jump at each other’s throat and for a few short hours you forget that he is supposed to be your competitor.

You’re a little tipsy, but you are definitely not drunk, so when Harry offers you to stay the night you turn it down, calling yourself a car since you are not in the right state to drive.

“I’ll come and pick my car up in the morning,” you breathe out as you put your heels back on that came off your feet sometime during the evening, making yourself home in his place.

“I’ll text you the security number to the garage,” he nods, walking you to the elevator.

“Thank you. And… I guess thank you for the evening,” you smile at him, turning to face him. He is standing close, but still takes a step closer, one of his hands finding your waist as he pulls you against his chest. Your palms lie flat on his chest as you try to get yourself to the right mindset to leave now before you regret doing something. Leaning down his nose nudges against your cheek, before he presses a soft kiss under below your ear, a sigh escaping your lips.

“I should go, the car is here,” you breathe out, but don’t move.

“Mm, okay,” he hums, his lips peppering kisses on your jaw and your cheek, as if you didn’t say a word. You want to continue it, not just because of the alcohol but because the sexual tension between the two of you has been growing since that charity gala, but the remainder of your rationality stops you before your lips could meet.

“Bye Harry,” you smile at him softly as you push him away and you walk into the elevator, leaving him hanging. Again.

“Bye Y/N. I’m still going to try to ruin your company!” he calls after you as you turn around to face him, the sliding doors slowly closing between the two of you.

“Same back at you, Styles,” you smirk before the door closes and you are taken down.

Well, that was a lie. Following your evening at his place neither of you really tries to work against the other, leaving each other be without any fuss. It might also have something to do with how you kept in touch after that day. You’ve been texting occasionally, attending some events together, even had a business dinner together with a few other peers from the industry. Things have been quiet and you’ve been feeling content with the current state you’ve managed to reach. Or so you thought.

It was a silent agreement between the two of you. You both put your projects aside that targeted the other’s profile. Harry stopped looking for designers for his women lines and you put your men department to the side as well. There were a lot to work on beside these fields so you felt like you were in peace. Right until Leslie bursts into your office on a casual Tuesday.

“Have you seen this?” she asks, placing a tablet in front of you with an Instagram account open on it.

You want to ask what you’re supposed to look at, but then you realize what it really is. A shiny new account for a new brand that promises to take online shopping to the next level; female and male as well.

“You think it could be…?” you ask, not quite convinced that Harry is behind this.

“Well, the wording is similar to theirs and creating a new brand might be a solution to their gap in women’s fashion,” she points it out, though you don’t want to believe he could have been working on this all along, basically in front of your face.

But it’s a possibility and you have to consider this option before jumping into defending him without any proof.

“Men can’t be trusted,” you grumble under your breath before jumping into work.

What you didn’t know is that an eerily similar situation goes down in Harry’s office as well when Zayn bursts in, showing him the ad he found for the new brand called Farfalla.

Harry immediately digs up everything about the company, though there’s not much other than their new Instagram account and heavy marketing that started just yesterday.

“What is Farfalla even?” he grimaces leaning back in his chair.

“It means butterfly in Italian,” Zayn explains and Harry’s eyes flicker up to him.

“Italian? You think it’s her?”

“It’s possible,” Zayn nods. “Starting a new brand to finally reach men’s fashion is a good idea.”

“She wouldn’t have done this,” Harry shakes his head in disbelief. Could you be working on this all along? Was this your plan from the start? To make him fall for you and forget about business while you built up your new empire to ruin him?

“What if she did?” Zayn prompts and in a way his suspicion is valid, but Harry is having a hard time believing it. You would never play him this dirty, not after how the two of you have grown closer in the past weeks, almost became friends.

“What are you going to do?” Zayn asks him as he pushes himself away from the desk and quite obviously starts getting ready to leave.

“She is not getting away from this,” Harry mumbles under his breath as he grabs his coat and phone before storming out of the office.

It’s past six when Harry gets to Cometa’s building and he is informed that you’ve already went home. He could have just come back in the morning, but he knew he would just stew in his own anger if he didn’t talk to you as soon as possible. So using his charm he gets the woman sitting behind the front desk to share your address with him, saying that he needs to talk to you urgently. That’s how he finds himself heading to Park Slope, slightly surprised you are not living somewhere in the heart of Manhattan.

As the scenery around his changes, skyscrapers turning into brick buildings and townhouses, Harry tries to figure out what he even wants to say to you. Should he just get straight down to business and accuse you? Snap at you? Or should he give you the chance to explain yourself? He can’t really make up his mind, mostly because he still feels like you betrayed him even though he can’t be sure Farfalla is yours.

Parking down at the address he got from the woman, he stares up at the deep red brick townhouse, a simple, black door at the top of the stairs that’s lined with a few potted plants and flowers. This is not what he would have imagined your home like, but now that he is standing on your doormat, he realizes it kind of suits you.

Ringing the bell he hopes that you’re home and not out and about somewhere in the city, but when he hears the familiar sound of heels clicking on the floor he knows you are on the other side. When the front door flings open and you come into his sight, for a split second he forgets why he is here and his anger vanishes. As always, you look amazing, a tight, black dress hugging your curves, the middle part appearing like it’s a corset, emphasizing the dip of your waist. Your hair is let down in loose curls and your feet are bare, but he knows you probably wore heels all day. You must have gotten home not long ago and as your eyes fall on the man at the door, your expression hardens on him.

“You really had the balls to come her, huh?” you cock your head to the side, keeping your eyes on his green ones for a moment before you let him inside.

“Did you think you could get away with it?” he huffs walking into the hallway and stopping as you close the door and turn to him.

“Me? I could say the same! You thought I would just ignore it or what? I proved you a few times that I’m not stupid, Harry,” you retort, folding your arms on your chest as you walk past him, into the kitchen and he follows.

“You surely are not stupid, playing me so dirty behind my back!” Harry spats standing his ground. “Playing all friendly and nice and then make a fool out of me!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” you question narrowing your eyes at him as you lean against the kitchen island’s counter. “If anyone played dirty it’s you! And you have the balls to come here and talk like this to me in my own fucking home?!” you snap, walking closer to him, keeping your deathly glare on him.

“What the fuck did I do?!” he scoffs throwing his hands into the air.

“You created a whole new brand just to fuck with me! Or did you think I wouldn’t find out about it?!”

“Me? You made a new brand! And you didn’t do a great job hiding the fact that it was your work, even the name is Italian, like your current one!”

You stare back at him, tilting your head to the side as you process what he is talking about. All along, the two of you were accusing each other of something neither of you did.

“Harry,” you breathe out, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Farfalla is not my brand.”

“And I’m supposed to believe it?!”

“Well you better be because it’s the fucking truth!”

“Prove it!” he hisses at you, taking a step closer, his face only inches away from yours now.

“Until about twenty seconds ago I thought that it was your new brand, Harry. I thought that you were the one who backstabbed me!” you snap back, standing up for yourself in this giant misunderstanding you fell into, accusing each other without any proof.

Harry stares back at you, his gaze burning into yours as he stands his ground and you can almost see the gears turning in his head as he processes your words.

“So… it’s not yours? You didn’t do it to fuck me up?”

“Of course not!” you breathe out, suddenly quite tired of all the anger that’s been eating you away through the afternoon. “I thought that we had a kind of silent agreement not to mess with each other so I wasn’t planning anything anytime soon. That’s why I got so mad when I thought you did it!”

“I thought the same!” he growls shaking his head. “I thought you did it all to just make me look stupid, that the friendly act was just so I wouldn’t notice a thing and I fell right into your trap.”

“There was no trap,” you simply tell him and you hope he senses the hidden meaning behind your words.

Luckily he does. But for your biggest surprise there’s no snarky comment or smug smirking, he just steps closer and before you could even protest, his hands find your waist and he pulls you against his hard chest, lips hungry attacking yours. He makes you back until you bump against the kitchen island, his hips pressing against yours as he pushes you against the hard surface, his hands wandering on your sides and back, up and down, exploring every curve of your body while his kisses never slow down, your tongues meeting in the middle.

Bringing up a leg you curl it around his hips, your heel digging into his round ass as he leans forward, making you arch your back, leaning onto the counter as his lips move from your lips to your jawline and neck, his fingers digging into your waist and the thigh that’s lifted by his side. He nibbles on the soft skin of your neck, definitely leaving a mark, but you just comb your fingers through his hair, letting yourself get lost in the sensation.

“As much as I would love to fuck you on a counter again, can we take this to a bedroom?” he mumbles as he kisses his way back up to your lips, smirking against them as he captures them again.

You don’t answer, just grab his hand and pull him upstairs with you, right into your bedroom. He is all over you, lips, hands, tongue, pressed up against you as the two of you stumble your way to your king sized bed. Harry’s fingers fidget with the corset on your dress, but he soon realizes it’s a little trickier than he expected, so leaning back he furrows his eyebrows as he glances down at the dress, still trying to figure out how to get you out of it.

“Harry,” you smile at him softly. “It’s faux. There’s a zipper at the back,” you inform him and he sighs in defeat as he kisses you again, his fingers quickly finding the zipper. The dress pools at your feet and you rid him from his jacket and shirt, revealing his inked chest, a sight you’ve been thinking about way too much lately.

By the time the two of you fall to your bed, neither of you are dressed in more than just your underwear. Because both of you like to be in charge, you roll around for a while, trying to get on top of each other but eventually Harry stays up when he starts going down on you, kissing his way through your heated skin. You don’t shy away when his hands snake under your back and easily unclasps your bra, being bare in front of him is not something that makes you feel uncomfortable or insecure. The way he looks at you, the way he makes you feel brings you so much confidence, you have absolutely no problem being nude.

When your bra flies to the floor, Harry leans back a little to admire you lying there, before his lips find their way over the curve of your breasts, down your stomach. Hooking his fingers into the elastic of your panties he tugs them down easily as you lift your hips, your thighs parting as you bare yourself in front of him.

“Don’t be shy about screaming my name,” he smugly tells you before his lips and tongue meet your clit. Your fingers lace through his hair immediately as you gasp out at the sensation, his tongue drawing the whole fucking alphabet to your bundle of nerves. His arms curl around your thighs, ring clad fingers digging into your flesh as he sucks on the sensitive skin.

“Fuck, Harry! Yes!” you moan out, tugging on his locks when he teases his tongue around your hole, your walls tightening around nothing as you are growing desperate to feel something inside of you.

You pull on his hair, signaling him that you want to get it on with, Hands reaching down to get rid of his boxer briefs before you blindly pull out the drawer of your nightstand, grabbing a condom. His lips eagerly meet yours as he wraps his erected cock and though you would love to have a taste of him like he did with you, you just want to feel him inside you.

“Tell me how bad you want it,” he growls against your lips, teasing you with running just the head up and down your slit.

“If you don’t fuck me right now I’m gonna rip your guts out,” you warn him, earning a soft chuckle as he kisses you again, tongue pushing into your mouth as he finally pushes inside you, his long, thick cock filling you up perfectly and it somehow feels even better than the first time.

“Go hard,” you gasp, a hand coming to grab his ass as you push him even further into you. He doesn’t need more, he starts slamming into you, his hips meeting yours roughly with each thrust, his whole length disappearing inside you every time.

He buries his head into the crook of your neck, licking and sucking on the soft skin. You almost think about telling him not to mark you, but it just turns you on even more so you let him do whatever he wants.

“I want to see you on top,” he pants, lifting his head so his gaze could meet yours. You nod, before the two of you turn around and you straddle his hips, guiding him back inside you as you sink down his length. Your hands are sprawled out on his hard chest as you find your balance in the position, Harry’s eyes roaming your body up and down, not able to get enough of how blissful you look, sitting with his cock buried inside of you, enjoying yourself to the fullest. His hands run up your thighs and upper body until they find your breasts, kneading them as you start moving your hips up and down, back and forth. When you moan his name or gasp because his cock reaches that one particular spot inside you, those are the moments he wishes he could capture on camera and watch whenever he wants.

“I want it from back,” you pant as you lean down and kiss him roughly. That’s all he needs, he helps you get off of him before you get on all four, pushing your butt up in the air while Harry kneels behind you, the sight in front of him hardening his cock even more, if that’s possible. His hands grab onto your waist as he pushes inside you, making you both let out a satisfied moan before he starts moving again.

“Fuck, you look so good like this, Y/N. I love your ass,” he growls, giving it a smack that surprises you, but you absolutely love it.

“Harry, go faster!” you whimper, feeling your orgasm nearing as you grip the comforter on the bed, desperate to reach your climax. You’re just about to reach down between your legs to play with your clit when Harry not only picks his pace up but also reaches around you, two of his fingers starting the circling motions on the bundle of nerves, making your legs shake from the pleasure.

“Come on, baby. Cum for me, cum all over my cock,” he growls, railing you from behind without missing a beat.

“Harry!” you scream when he thrusts into you so harshly, your whole body rocking in the motion.

“Come on, angel. Cum for me,” he murmurs and leaning down he wraps his arms around you, bringing you up straight, your back pressing against his sweaty chest, his hands coming to cup your breasts as he keeps thrusting up into you, pushing you over the edge.

You moan and gasp and scream his name as your walls tighten around his length, riding out your bliss and it helps him reach his own high, his hot breath hitting the back of your neck and shoulder, grunting and cursing under his breath as he fills the condom.

As his thrusts come to a halt, he sinks into a sitting position, bringing you with him, you lean against him feeling like jelly as you’re still just trying to catch your breath. Harry peppers your shoulder with small kisses before you muster the energy to break the position and lie down on the bed.

“Towel is in the bathroom,” you tell him knowing that’s what he’ll look for as he stands from the bed and you point at the door that leads to the joined bathroom. Harry nods and pads his way in there, cleaning himself up before he returns with a small damp towel, doing the same for you. He drops it to the floor next to the bed before joining you, cradling you into his arms as you take a breather together.

One hand is on your shoulder, fingers dancing on the naked skin, the other one is holding your thigh that’s across his lap while your head is resting on his chest.

“You really thought I would backstab you like that?” he hums after a while, breaking the comfortable silence.

“You did the same,” you answer, lifting your head, resting your chin on his chest.

“Touché,” he chuckles, before leaning down he kisses you shortly. “So, if neither of us did it, then we have a quite major problem on our hands.”

“I know,” you hum. “That shit looks promising and they can easily ruin both of us.”

Harry stays silent for a little, but you can see the gears turning in his head. When his gaze snaps back at you, you know he has an idea.

“Unless… we join forces.” Your eyebrows arch as you stare back at him. “I know it’s a risky move, but this is the only way to stay on the top.”

“How much you want to be joined?”

“We could start with just one line, the men part designed by someone from me and the women by someone from you. And if it presents well we can just figure out where to go from there. Obviously, the men part would be sold by us and the women by you, but we could join the pages and direct users to each other’s sites in connection with the lines.”

“That could… actually work,” you nod shortly, thinking about the idea. It needs a lot of planning, but it could actually be a big hit if you do it right. “And you’re willing to partner with me?” you ask cheekily as you push yourself up into a sitting position, Harry doing the same.

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m willing to do about anything with you,” he chuckles, making you smile at his playful answer. “I hope you know I’m not talking about just business,” he then adds with a meaningful look.

“You are still so keen on this?” you sigh, tugging your hair behind your ear.

“Do you not like being with me?”

“I do, surprisingly,” you roll your eyes, making him laugh.

“Do you not like having sex with me?”

“I think the answer is pretty obvious to that,” you give him a look as he smirks back at you.

“Yeah, but I want to hear it.”

“I enjoy having sex with you, Harry,” you roll your eyes again, but he just kisses you short but hard before leaning back.

“So then why shouldn’t we date?”

“Because we are competitors?”

“We just agreed that we should join forces. We are partners now.”

“You are running a little ahead, Harry,” you cock an eyebrow at him. “I don’t know, I haven’t been in a relationship in ages. I probably suck at it at this point,” you shrug, but it’s just a lame excuse and you both know that. Leaning closer Harry smirks at you smugly.

“I have something else you can suck.” You smack his chest at his nasty remark, but can’t push a smile back. His hand finds the back of your head as he pulls you in for another kiss. “I want you, Y/N. I really do. You are all I think about even when you are an annoying piece of shit, getting under my skin. I still want you.”

“Wow, so romantic,” you chuckle shaking your head. “What if we can’t get over our differences in the business? That can easily poison any relationship.”

“Then we’ll have a lot of mind-blowing angry and makeup sex. Those are the best. We can put all our frustration into sex, I think that’s just perfect.”

“What are you, a horny teenager? Sex is all you can think about?” you chuckle.

“It is when I’m lying in a bed with you naked. You can’t blame me,” he grins smugly and you want to hate him, you want to hate him so badly, but you can’t. You want him just as much as he wants you.

“So… partners?” he prompts, tilting his head to the side with a sweet smile as he waits for your answer.

“Partners in business and life?”

“Mhm, that’s the plan,” he nods, his smile growing wider with each passing second.

“Alright,” you breathe out. “So… it’s not—All is fair in war and business?” you ask teasingly, using his own words from earlier.

“Just shut up and kiss me,” he laughs, pulling you in for another kiss.

Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!

[favefandomimagines]

Fools Gold (r.c.)

Summary: how much are you worth to rafe and his friends?

AN: sorry the new obx pics that were posted inspired me to write an angsty af rafe fic also thinking about doing this same concept with JJ.

again, the rafe i write is not canon. he’s just a dick most of the time.

You weren’t friends with Rafe Cameron. There wasn’t any parallel universe where the two of you would be friends.

He despised you because you chose a life with the Pogues over a life with the Kooks. But he didn’t seem to have as big of a problem with Kie as he had with you.

You couldn’t figure out why he disliked you more than anyone on the island. You figured it had to do with the fact that he didn’t like the fact that everyone knew he slept with a Pogue.

Once upon a time, you lost your virginity to Rafe. After realizing how he acted towards you, you didn’t really know why. But at the time, you felt safe with him. Better him than some random tourist at a party.

But after you and Kie made the grand transition from Kook to Pogue, he never spoke to you again. And when he did, would he some mean and snarky comment that you tried not to let get to you. But a person can only take so much before the words start to stick.

—

You were at a Boneyard party with your friends, you and Kie talking about the upcoming beach cleanup the two of you were planning. You were minding your own business but you could feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of your head.

“Dude, $500 you can’t get Y/N to go out with you and stay with her for 6 months.” Topper bet the older boy. “$500? That’s it? To get Y/N to go out with me?” Rafe laughed. “Yeah, it should be an easy $500 right?” Topper asked.

Rafe thought about it for a moment, deciding if he was really that bad of a person to lead you on like that. He didn’t really hate you as much as he said. He was just hurt that you felt he wasn’t good enough to stick around for.

“It’s a bet. $500 in 6 months.” Rafe finally said. The two Kooks shook hands and Rafe’s fixation landed on you.

You were standing with Kiara by the fire, drinking your hand, clearly talking about something you were passionate about. Rafe noticed that whenever you talked about something you loved, you talked with your hands ten times more than you did normally.

He assumed you were talking about the ocean or something like that with how big your smile was.

Rafe then put on his asshole Kook facade and began to approach you. “Hey, Y/L/N!” He called. You took one look at him and instantly rolled your eyes.

“Can we help you?” Kie asked him. “I need to talk to Y/N. Alone if that’s not a problem with you.” Rafe sassed the girl. Kie looked at you, almost a nonverbal way of asking if you’d be okay alone.

You gave her a small nod and she reluctantly walked away. “What do you want, Rafe?” You sighed. “Go out with me.” He said. “What?” You questioned. “Go out with me. We can go somewhere on the mainland or somewhere local. Wherever you like.” He explained.

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh before you realized he wasn’t joking. “You’re serious?” You asked. “Yeah, I’m serious.” Rafe answered. “Sorry if I have a hard time believing you want to go out with me after you’ve treated me.” You said.

“I was a dick. I’ll make it up to you. Just give me a chance.” Rafe replied. You looked at him for a moment, being very wary about the whole offer. “Okay. One date and if I even so much as a sense a stupid practical joke, I’m out.” You finally said.

Rafe smiled down at you before slowly backing up. “Great. I’ll pick you up, Friday at 6.” He said.

You had no idea what just happened. Rafe Cameron asked you out? And he actually seemed to mean it?

And to say the date went well was a total understatement for both you and Rafe. You both had an amazing time together, exploring the mainland and not having to worry about the Kook v. Pogue prejudice.

In the 6 months Rafe had been with you, he soon realized there wasn’t a single thing he didn’t love about you. He loved how you would dance around to your indie and alternative music as if no one was watching.

How you dragged him to the beach to watch the baby turtle eggs hatch. Even though he said he didn’t want to, he’d go anywhere if you asked.

Rafe also loved how you loved life in general. You didn’t care about the class system on the Outer Banks, you just cared about the people you loved. Your dad, your brother, the Pogues, and now Rafe.

Which made him feel even worse about the bet. It was nearing 6 months and Rafe knew he couldn’t just end it with you. He knew how that would hurt you. So he called Topper and asked him to call the whole thing off.

“Maybe we should just end the whole thing. You can have your money and we can call it off.” Rafe said over the phone.

“You aren’t going soft are me now are you?” Topper mocked. “No, I’m just saying this bet is stupid. It’s too easy now.” Rafe lied. “I’ll double it. $1,000 if you can make it to 6 months with Y/N.” Topper said.

Rafe hadn’t known you were going to come over so early so he thought he had time to talk to Topper. But you were standing out in the hallway in front of his door, listening to the whole thing.

“Wow, $1,000. Only an idiot would turn that down.” You sneered. Rafe turned around with wide eyes before quickly hanging up the phone. “H-How much did you hear?” He asked. “All of it.” You answered. “So you asking me out that night was a stupid bet? And our entire relationship has been a lie?” You asked, your voice raising.

“No, Y/N, let me explain.” Rafe pleaded. “Why should I? I think you and Topper explained everything perfectly. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you. I’ve just been a huge joke you and your friends could laugh about.” You said.

Rafe began to walk towards you but you talking a couple steps back made it very clear you didn’t want him coming near you.

“We’re done, Rafe. I hope you enjoy the money.” You said sadly before you left his bedroom. When you walked into the hall, you saw Sarah standing a little ways away, but you knew she heard everything. “Did you know?” You asked her. “Of course not. I had no idea he was doing this for money.” She answered.

“Everything was a lie. I-I really thought he cared about me.” You spoke quietly, the tears welling up in yours eyes.

Sarah frowned and pulled you into a warm embrace. She couldn’t help but feel guilty since it was her brother who was causing you so much pain. “I know we were supposed to hang out tonight but I think Im just gonna head home.” You said.

She didn’t want you driving home in the state you were in but she also knew that you being alone was what was best for you.

When you arrived home, you avoided your father’s questions like they were the plague and made a b-line for your bedroom. But even then you couldn’t escape Rafe’s presence because everything reminded you of him. 

For weeks after you are Rafe broke up, you were a bit different. You didn’t really feel like yourself because you didn’t know what was real anymore. Finding out about the bet made you question everything and your self esteem took a pretty big hit. 

But you were good at faking it for the most part. You still hung out with the Pogues as if nothing was wrong.You went out to Boneyard parties, hung out with Kie, surfed with JJ, went shopping with Sarah. But you could only pretend so much. 

You were sitting on your surfboard in the water, JJ floating next to you as you two waited for a wave. 

“JJ, can I tell you something?” You asked him. “Of course, Y/N.” He said. “Rafe and I broke up. Apparently I was nothing but a cash grab for him.” You confessed. “What? What do you mean, cash grab?” He asked. “I was just a bet. Apparently Topper bet him $500 to go out with me and make it 6 months. I guess he was calling Topper to call off the bet but he offered him $1,000. I haven’t told anyone, only Sarah knows.” You explained. 

“You know he’s a moron, right? You’re not even worth $500, you’re priceless, Y/N and don’t let Rafe and his dickhead friends make you think any differently.” JJ said. 

You could tell that telling him the truth really riled him up but he never fought with Rafe for the sake of you. Your friendship was more important than wanting to knock Rafe flat on his ass.

“What are you going to do?” JJ asked. “I don’t know. I’m having a very hard time believing he faked everything the past 6 months but Rafe is pretty convincing when he wants to be. But am I really that stupid to think he actually cared about me?” You answered. 

“No, that doesn’t make you stupid. And what I’m about to say I will never admit to saying but what if Rafe actually did care about you? I mean, everyone knows his dad is always on his ass about money and he was going to turn it down for you.” JJ said. 

You sat quietly for a moment, watching the stillness of the water before looking back to JJ. “Are you saying I should talk to him?” You asked. “I’m saying maybe you owe yourself that much.” He answered. “Since when the hell did you become so insightful? Usually you’d tell me to beat him up or smash his car.” You laughed. 

“Well, this time I just want you to be happy. And as much as I hate to say it, he made you very happy.” JJ said. “I really don’t like it when you’re right.” You muttered. 

After a couple more minutes, you and JJ headed back to the beach and when you got there, Rafe was standing on the sand a few feet away from the shore line. 

You slowed your pace slightly as you made eye contact with him. You readjusted your grip on your board as you and JJ kept walking. “Y/N, hey, can I talk to you?” Rafe asked uncomfortably. 

You and JJ had never seen Rafe look less confident before until that moment. “JJ, I’ll meet you back at the Chateau.” You told the blonde. JJ nodded his head but not before giving Rafe a suspecting look as he walked away. 

“You wanted to talk?” You asked him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I should’ve never taken that stupid bet in the first place. I-I guess I was holding a grudge against you before.” He said. “For what? I never did anything to you, Rafe.” You asked. “You left me. You chose the Pogues and the Cut over me. We were always friends before and then you and Kiara just decided it wasn’t good enough anymore. That I wasn’t good enough.” He explained. 

“I didn’t choose the Pogues because of you, Rafe, or over you. Figure 8 is toxic and everyone we used to hang out with was terrible and I couldn’t do that anymore. You were the one who froze me out after we slept together. Let’s not also forget that you faked our entire relationship.” You rebutted. 

“No, no, Y/N, I didn’t fake anything. Everything we had was real. You have no idea how it easy was to fall for you because you are amazing and I-I messed it up. I hurt you and I know it’s not going to make it better, but I’m sorry.” Rafe said. 

You pushed your board into the sand before sitting down in front of it and motioned for Rafe to do the same. 

“I was falling in love with you, Rafe. So to hear you and Topper just use me for your own sick enjoyment, broke my heart.” You started. “I defended you to everyone to just find out that they were right.” You finished. “You said ‘was.’ Like past tense.” Rafe spoke quietly. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you stared at the sunset. “I wish we could just move on, forget it ever happened but I don’t think we can.” You said. 

Rafe’s body stiffened and he hung his head low, not liking where the conversation was going.

“But, we can start over. Clean slate.” You added. The boy looked up at you, almost as if he thought you were kidding. “Really?” He asked. “Yeah, really. But, on a few conditions.” You said. “Anything, I will do anything.” He said. “You leave my friends alone. He’s going to kill me for saying this but JJ was actually the one who told me we should talk so you kind of owe him. Second, you let me punch Topper, very very hard.” You told him. 

Rafe laughed lightly at your words as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Sounds like a plan.” He said. “Also, give me your phone.” You said. Rafe took his phone out of his pocket and gave it to you. 

He looked over your shoulder to see what you were doing as you opened the Venmo app. 

You pressed ‘pay and request’ and put Topper’s user name in. 

@TopperThornton: Pay $1,000 

Summary: congrats, i lost the bet. Y/N is worth so much more. she’s also gonna kick your ass 

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Rafe commented. You hummed in response, resting your head on his shoulder. Rafe pressed a light kiss on your forehead as the two of you watched the sunset together. 

[obxjj]

the way we heal | jj maybank

- pairings: jj maybank x reader

- summary: people deal with trauma in different ways but it seems that jj thinks you don't care about the loss of your friends and deep down himself but he just needs to understand that people heal in their own time and through their own meanings, he just needed to be reassured of it. kinda pre season 2 ep 1 give ot take

- warning(s): really motherfucking angsty and swearing. mention of substance abuse

- wc: 2.2k :))))

a/n: all my fics the pogues and reader are the age 17/18 only because that's more comfortable for me to write. its been a long long time since i have wrote something so sorry for and spelling errors

People tend to deal with trauma differently. It could be resulting to crying you eyes out until you can’t breath and you can’t see through your tears clouding your eyes. Drinking until your liver wants to shut down and you whole body is so numb that yourself and everyone around you is so tuned out that you can’t function. Resulting to drugs to either feel something or not to feel anything at all. Or to have something to blame your actions on from yourself acting out simply because you don’t know how to handle the situation of a friend dying.

See you on the other hand dealt with it internally or the whim and feeling of not accepting death. Maybe it was your subconscious talking wanting you not to accept or maybe it was the gut feeling that you always got telling you that they were actually alive and have survived that storm that ‘supposedly’ had swept them away because “no body was found”.

This ‘gut feeling’ had always been right in many life or death situations. Or even just you picking out an outfit that you were unsure of whether it was going to get the boys attention that you had a crush on. It did indeed get his attention that night because that’s how you ended up loosing your virginity that night but that’s besides the point.

The best way you could describe it was like when people would do personality tests and it would ask “are you controlled by your heart or what you feel” probably not those exact words but you get the point. I felt with my feelings if my gut said yes then it was a yes.

Since the night that John B and Sarah had ‘died’ your gut had been telling you the opposite. That they were in fact not dead. As Big John use to say when you were a kid, you can never kill a Routledge. At the time it seemed like bullshit but now it was starting to grow on you.

However now your two friends were presumed dead and not everyone dealt with trauma like you did. Some would even go as far to say that you didn’t actually give a fuck that your friends were dead because you hadn’t cried or you hadn’t drunk yourself into a state of no return or resulted to smoking weed every single day and spray painted ‘murder’ on Ward Cameron’s estate. But at least Kiara wasn’t lying.

But the thing was you hadn’t cried because you couldn’t, you quite literally hated crying because it made you feel weak. Even if you tried and you tried your hardest but nothing came. At this point you could go as far as denial. This gut feeling was like getting hit by a semi truck every time a thought came into your head questioning maybe they were dead. Maybe they did get swept away at sea and never to return.

Your gut feeling was simply not letting you mourn the loss of John B and Sarah and now everyone thought you were an emotionless bitch. I mean they were right to a point but not the whole point.

So that brought you to current day driving around the Cut and night playing fucking real life Where’s Wally but its Where’s JJ Maybank because he’s blacked out drunk somewhere and now you’re on a rescue mission. Not like you had done enough of those in the last few weeks.

About an hour ago your phone rang and it was JJ asking you to come pick him up since somehow he had now idea where he had ended up and was too far gone to put together his surroundings. Well that’s what you had assumed he said since you had to decipher his slurred words.

At this point you had driven around the whole island and gone to every hid out spot that he would go smoke at or to just get away from everyday life. You had gone to all but one place. Where you avoiding that particular house because it held so many memories, plus the fact you hadn’t been near the place since shit hit rock bottom. Yes? But it was the highest chance that JJ was sitting on that dock with his legs swinging over it with a beer in hand.

Well you were right. As you walked down the old dock to where JJ was sitting it was if you could feel all the emotions, thoughts and disbelief crawling their way up your skin from the ground you were walking on. But that gut feeling was like a wave of fire, burning it all the way back to the ground.

“I don’t know why I just didn’t look here first. I should have known aye” you half heartedly said trying to keep the conversation light since you didn’t know what state JJ was going to be in. From the huff you got in response told you he wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“How much have you had J?” You asked with concern but still trying to keep you voice light and less reprimanding because you knew he was in a too fragile state for you to be angry.

“Does it even matter how much Iv had. I don’t feel shit anymore” he replied back with his words straight forward and sobered.

“Well have you even given yourself a break for your body to sober up for you to even feel the effects of it? Or have you still been going since yesterday when I saw you? J its not going to do shit if you don’t give it a rest for at least a day or so” you said back trying you best to keep you and your voice as calm as possible. You fucking hated seeing JJ like this, you would never say it to his face but fuck it just reminded you of his dad when he got into states like this. Until the last week you had never seen JJ this bad. But could you blame him.

“You just don’t get it do you” JJ was now facing you and by the tone of his voice you had unintentionally struck a nerve that you were actively avoiding. “Why did you even fucking come if you’re just going to tell me how I should cope. Do you even care that JB has gone? He was our best fucking friend. He was my fucking brother my only family! And he’s fucking gone just like his old man. You haven’t even shed a tear y/n. You’re just acting like nothing had happened. Do you even care!” JJ was now on his feet breathing heavily and his jaw so clenched you’re surprised his teeth haven’t broken

“J, please do not yell at me right now” you asked with your voice shaking trying to hold back something that was bubbling at the surface. Was it anger or was it the water works that desperately needed to be let out.

JJ started to walk back up the dock, showing that he was done with this conversation that he could have avoided if he didn’t ask you in the first place to come pick him up. Deep down he knew that you would be the only one to come and get him, he just wasn’t as good at showing his gratefulness due to the alcohol that was numbing him.

“JJ just wait please, please don’t walk away” You stood back up and starting walking after him quick on the backs of his feet. He halted his tracks and turned around to look at you with a pained look in his face, as you got up close you could see his eyes stained red. Either from crying or the linger of weed still in his system.

“What could you possibly want to say y/n. I really thought you would be the last person not to care about this” JJ was now right up in your face and his voice was holding back trying his best not to yell. But that last sentence had taken you back.

“You think I don’t care JJ!” now you starting yelling “of course I give a shit JJ our friends are gone, they are not fucking here. I know it might not seem that I don’t care. But just because I’m not crying my eyes out every hour or drinking myself into a state where I don’t now where the fuck I am or getting high that I spray paint on any wall I see” your breath was now battling to come to the surface because you were talking so fast.

“Just because Im not doing any of those things doesn’t mean I don’t care JJ! People deal with this shit differently and you need to understand that” you breathed out trying to grasp for air again “the thing is JJ I have this annoying gut feeling thats telling me that John B and Sarah are not dead, and its literally preventing me to mourn them. I have convinced myself that they are alive and I can’t fucking mourn non dead people J. I don’t know how to fucking explain it”

“Well why didn’t you just tell us that” he replied after bit letting your whole rant sink into his brain, weaving its way through the alcohol that was clouding it.

“Because JJ! Even saying that out loud I sound fucking crazy, like I’m in a deep pit of denial. The thing is I’m far from denial. Yes I know there is a massive fucking fat chance that they are dead and have been food for the sharks” you exclaimed

“Don’t make it worse y/n” JJ shook his head not very happy with your choice of words

“Okay yeah sorry bad wording. Im sorry” you lowered your head in sorrow wanting to slap yourself in the face for trying to make jokes out of trauma.

“So its not that I don’t care J, trust me I do care. But John B and Sarah are not physically here with us and I cant physically care for them right now. But when we see them can do that”

“Y/n -“ JJ tried to get a word in but you hadn’t finished

“Don’t JJ. We will see them again” you put an emphasis on ‘will’ “I trust my gut and even you know that when I get a gut feeling that it’s always been right. Correct?”

“Yes but -“ he tried to get another word in but you needed him to listen.

“JJ I care about you. I care about Kiara and Pope. You guys are physically here for me to care for. The thing is I haven’t spoken to Kie since she’s with Pope half the time and I have spoken to Pope since he’s with Kid half the time and you? I can’t speak to you because your too far gone in beers to for me to even get a coherent conversation in” This was such an over due conversation to be had, you were now on the verge of hyperventilating. You needed JJ to hear this. Fully sober would have been better but half sober is the best you’re gonna get.

“JJ I understand if that’s how you’re going to deal with all of this but you can’t throw yourself completely away. We need you. I need you JJ. I can’t have you going off the deep end and then we loose you too. You need to be here for when we get John B back. He will need you for when he’s back”. The water works that you had been holding back had finally been released and trust it to be in front of JJ. He was your fucking rock, you couldn’t loose him. No way that would be your last day on earth if that were to happen.

“I-. Im sorry. I’m just so fucking lost y/n. I don’t know what the fuck to do. You’re always at work and Kie and Pope are god knows where. I just want this to go away so fucking bad. All this pain, I feel like I have no one” JJ was now crying to and gripping your waist as is you could float away into the air

“I know JJ, but you have us you have always had us. But you have to be so stubborn sometimes that you won’t let us in and help, you won’t let me in a help you” you had JJ’s face in your hands making him look at you so he knew you meant every single word. “I’m so sorry if you didn’t think I cared and I wasn’t there to help you, I just deal with this shit in a different way. Just like every single other person. We all heal differently and that’s okay. It dosent mean we care less. It doesn’t mean I care less”

Now there you and JJ stand on the dock leading off the chateau both in each others embrace purging the pain that’s both been locked up inside you for so long. The past you and JJ had people really didn’t tend to understand but neither did you. But you would always find your way back to each other at the end of the day. Despite the fights you had in the past and the days you would be at each others throats screaming at each other to the days you would be secretly stealing a glance at him because you just couldn’t help yourself.

You would always be there to help him take the pain away and he was always be there to do the same for you.

[gojous-exbabymama]

That’s My Baby Daddy~

pretty much Gojou being a menace and you having to deal with his annoying ass😭

warning// language, +18, mdni, mention of smut, mention of daddy kink, breeding kink, kinda toxic!gojou, gojou saturo x fem!reader, got inspired by @hanji-is-life talking about this man i couldn’t help myself lol

——————————————————————————————////

🧿 a sneak link turned baby daddy

🧿 honestly, this is what happens when mix a daddy kink with a breeding kink

🧿 you weren’t even going to tell him because he pops up every two-three months

🧿 whenever he feels like it😒

🧿 but when you do tell him, he becomes even more cocky?¿

🧿 and if you were on the pill and still got knocked up

🧿 his god-complex would fly through the roof omg:

🧿 “im just that strong, baby”

🧿 will say you were trying to trap him but it’s clearly the other way around

🧿 literally wanted to wife you up but you said no because he was still a fuckboy and you didn’t have time to deal with his shit 24/7

🧿 the fact that you didn’t really need him around actually makes him want you even more

🧿 makes up for missing appointments or classes with lavish gifts and anything your cravings desire

🧿 you hate him because he shows up when your hormones are going crazy and all you want to do fuck

🧿 here his ass comes, all too happy to help take care of that

🧿 tried to convince you to move in with him but you shut that down quickly

🧿 so he just buys you a house that’s less than 5 minutes from his☺️

🧿 will show up late for the baby’s birth and annoy the whole staff like:

🧿 “no sir you cannot order room service during delivery” “pls stop touching the buttons on the bed sir!”

🧿 spoils the baby like crazy

🧿 you scold him whenever he comes back with a new pair of shoes because:

🧿 “gojou, he’s just going to grow out of them in like, a month”

🧿 “yeah but look at how cute they are!”

🧿 can’t get rid of him, you went to your moms place and he’s just sitting at the table, eating a slice of pie with that smirk

🧿 sorry to say sis but your days of dating are over

🧿 you’ve made it clear numerous of times that yes, you two have a baby together but that does not mean you two are together as a couple

🧿 and does he listen?

🧿 no! he doesn’t!

🧿 if he catch wind of your fine ass out on date with some weak dude

🧿 he’s going to blow up your phone

🧿 and if you block him for the night, he will show up and ruin the date

🧿 he’s made it very clear that your his stop playing with him

🧿 you say you’re done with him sis but why is he in your kitchen the next morning in your robe drinking your coffee, eating all the baby’s cereal??

🧿 you cursing him out and yelling at him every other day

🧿 and him just being like: “mmhm..mhm..yeah no I’m not paying attention, you’re too sexy when your mad🥴😜”

🧿 fights always turn into hate fucking he’s just too pretty and too smooth with it, you can’t stay mad at him for too long:

🧿 “I hate you, Gojou. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you”

🧿 “f-fuck gojou iloveyou,iloveyou,iloveyou!!” you chant as he fucks you into the mattress

🧿 “yeah ya’ do sweetheart so much you’re gonna let daddy fuck another baby in you, right mamas?”

🧿 he was serious too

🧿 congrats sis, he got you again😔🤟🏾

🧿 you being pissed but he’s just like:

🧿 “you begged me put another one in you babe, so I did what’s the problem?”

🧿 i mean, you technically did say that but it was more so for dirty talk!

🧿 and this motherfucka took it serious

🧿 he knew what he was doing though smh

🧿 slides his way into living with you and the kids

🧿 family vacations are a thing

🧿 he will take y’all all over the world if you asked

🧿 his family gets the best of the best with everything it’s really hard for him to say no to his kids

🧿 he’s gone a lot throughout the year and misses a few of their after school things

🧿 but somehow you’re the mean parent for telling your kids ‘no’ to eating candy before bed?¿?

🧿 “no, our son doesn’t need another iPad.”

🧿 “no, our daughter does not need a puppy she barely kept her six goldfish alive..”

🧿 “gojou, the baby is literally 3 months old, you’re not signing them up for horse riding lessons!!”

🧿 watch him or else he’ll turn your kids into silver tooth terrors!

🧿 by baby number 4 he just stops asking you to marry him because he definitely knows you’re not going anywhere

🧿 you’re stuck with him for life so might as well just stay with his ass because he’s not going anywhere either

🧿good luck😭🧿

[userholland]

all for her [2]

pairing: dad!bartender!tom x female!reader

warnings: excessive drinking, cursing, mentions of blood, violence, etc.

summary: a single-dad bartender, a supportive best friend and their continuous, unrequited love noticed by his optimistic daughter. is it possible to break a heart they never knew they had?

word count: 10.8k!

the soundtrack:  dancing with your ghost - sasha sloan, chinese satellite - phoebe bridgers, never the 1 - rosie, waiting room - phoebe bridgers, guilty conscience - 070 shake

a/n: im so happy with the response from part 1 & excited that part 2 is now here!!! i think i’ll try to end with the next part but..... who knows. again, thank y’all for the feedback & hope you enjoy!

— masterlist ☆彡

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The night Summer was left on Tom’s doorstep was one he would never forget.

He moved into his apartment a month before and it was becoming more than the four, blank walls. It was in a quiet neighborhood, facing out to a street view of family-owned businesses and a bus stop. People passed the street often during the day, a good opportunity for people-watching from his small terrace. But when he closed the windows and locked the door, the feeling of being alone quickly settled in for the first time in his life. 

The thought of being independent was reliving now that he had a part-time job. He'd be able to live off his earnings with no guilt and bring whoever he wanted without disturbing his roommates. Even though he had his own place of solitude and privacy, Tom still managed to visit you at campus now that he was closer compared to the hours of driving before. He considered it as a pro to moving, but he really just needed any reason to just have you close.

Most times you’d come over, saying you had homework and studying to do, but with Tom, you never got anything done in one sitting. You made dinners together or ordered something in the middle of the night, watch movies interrupted by your playful comments or you would take a nap between your classes while he did his work.

The two of you were inseparable now throughout college, not stuck with the limited possibilities of what your small hometown gave to you. Everything was going smoothly and Tom was looking forward to what his future looked like, maybe even see you ending up together, but things took a turn when he opened the door and saw Summer, small and swaddled, in the baby carrier at his feet.

It was a Sunday, having your ideal night-in watching your favorite movie, and ordering food for dinner. Your head rested on Tom’s lap, your eyes trying to focus on the TV but they fluttered. Tom had his arm around the back of the couch with his right foot on the coffee table. Sometimes he’d glance down at you, making sure you didn’t fall asleep because you had more studying to do, but he gently shook you every few minutes when he thought he heard your light snores.

“Hmm, I’m awake.” You grumbled.

“Judging from your snoring, I don’t think you are.” He smiled, moving your hair out of your face.

Your face scrunched together, “I don’t snore.”

“You don’t? Not like this?” He jeered, making an obnoxious noise as he leaned his head back.

You pressed your face against his cheek, tilting his head to the side and lightly gripping at his hair. Laughs and giggles echoed the apartment as you fought like kids, Tom’s hand holding your wrist to push it away from his face until the doorbell rang.

“Finally! I’m starving.” You said, thinking the Chinese food was here.

You jumped up from the couch, walking into the kitchen to get plates. Tom chuckled as he headed toward the door, “Are you excited? I couldn’t tell.” He said sarcastically, grabbing the tip money off the kitchen counter.

The baby was asleep, her chubby cheeks were a rosy pink as well as her lips. She looked peaceful bundled in a soft, yellow blanket, but fear instilled within Tom. He wasn’t sure what to do, his mind starting to race and his heart beating faster. He took a few steps into the hall and looked both ways. It was ominous how no one was around, yet there was someone at the door a few seconds ago.

“Hello?” He shouted, his hands against each side of the doorframe.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “What’s going on?” You nervously chuckled.

The moment your eyes met the baby at Tom’s feet, your mouth slightly gapped with a trailed gasp.

“This has to be a joke…” Tom trailed.

You kneeled, reaching for the note tucked in by her leg. It was on a torn piece of notebook paper with Tom’s name scribbled on the front in pencil.

“I can’t take care of her. Please understand. Maggie.” You read off, biting your bottom lip.

He continued to stare at Summer, her hair barely grown and her skin so pink. He assumed she had been born a few weeks ago, maybe months. All he could process was that there was a baby on his doorstep and he had no idea what to do.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

It took a few minutes to get Maggie calm, but they went in the hall to talk so Summer didn’t wake up. It was none of your business, but you still stood close to the door with your back against the wall as their muffled conversation faded in and out.

“How did you even find me?” Tom asked.

“None of your business.” She snapped, “I don’t know why this is  such a big deal.” Maggie chimed, crossing her arms.

Tom scoffed, “Because you’ve never made any effort to see her and suddenly, you want to come and pick her up and take her like she’s a puppy in an ad you found this morning.”

She smiled in spite, “Don’t talk to me like that-”

“How else am I supposed to act? You just told me she’s not mine!”

“Because she’s not! I had to dump her on someone!”

Every word that came out of Maggie’s mouth felt like a repeating stab in the heart. He couldn’t believe anything she said, convinced he hated her at that moment, but he somehow held his head high because he knew he’d fight for Summer no matter what Maggie could tell him.

“You’re not taking her. End of discussion.” Tom uttered, tears welling up in his eyes.

Maggie reached into the back pocket of her denim jeans, pulling out a folded piece of paper, and forcefully handed it to Tom. He stared at it for a few seconds, his hand lightly shaking as he slowly opened it by the ends.

“You still think I’m lying?” She scoffed as they both glared at the paper.

It was Summer’s birth certificate, dated on this day six years ago which made time seem so fast. His dry, tired eyes searched the paper until they locked to the father’s name box, a name he didn’t know and certainly wasn’t his.

“Either I call the police now or you give her… right here, right now,” Maggie growled with no hesitation.

Tom clenched his jaw, “You can’t-”

“I sure as hell can… and we both know you’re not dumb so, just give her to me.” She demanded as if Tom could process all of this while his world was crashing around him.

Tom licked his lips, sealing them to hide the pain that ached in his heart and spread throughout every nerve of his body. A single tear fell down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it with the back of his hand. Tom wanted to composed himself to stay strong, but he didn’t know he could crumble so easily from a small number of words.

“Can we do this tomorrow? I just wanna spend one more day with her.” He asked politely, the whites of his eyes now a light pink.

She stood there, not saying anything and her arms were still crossed.

“Please… Maggie.” Tom pleaded, feeling a bit pathetic.

Tom thought back to that conversation, replaying it in his head so much that he didn’t sleep all night. His constant shifting throughout the night didn’t let either of you get much sleep, but it’s not like you were either, laying there and wondering how much you could do. 

You were surprised he didn’t cry, shout or lash out in some random outburst of pure anger. It’s what you would’ve done, but you knew that Tom was trying to convince himself it wasn’t real. The denial would eat him alive, only because he believed Maggie was telling the truth and would take Summer no matter how hard he thought of a way to not let her.

“Tom?... Tom!” Your voice seemed miles away.

Tom glanced up to meet your eyes, letting out an embarrassed chuckle as his ears tinted pink. The sounds within the diner became audible to him, not remembering how he got lost in a daze. 

“In your own little world again?” You grinned, knowing that he was always one for thinking too much.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m fine.” Tom rubbed his hands down his face and straightened his back against the booth.

You sealed your lips, “You can talk to me about-”

“I’m fine, Y/N.” He retorted, nodding his head at you.

“Okay…” You trailed.

When his whole world was turned around the night before, you choose to not take his short attitude personally. All you could do was be there for him and you wanted to try your best. Seeing his hand rested on the table, you placed yours on top and reassured him, “It’s gonna be okay.”

He didn’t look at you, but you laid your head on against his shoulder. You caressed your thumb over his skin before grasping his hand and giving it a light squeeze. You brushed your cheek against his black hoodie, smelling the fresh lavender and nuzzling against his arm to remind him that you weren’t planning on leaving or letting him go.

Summer ran down the empty aisle, jumping into the booth and she laughed to herself, “I got this!”

You leaned up from Tom so he could see what she had in her small hand. Her casted arm rested on the table, signatures written all over it from her birthday party.

“It’s for you.” Summer smiled, putting the object in Tom’s hand.

He glanced at it, seeing a small plastic container with a yellow top sealing it. Inside was a cheap ring with the metallic paint partially chipped off and there was a blunt blue jewel in the middle.

“You sure you want to give it to me? It’s so pretty.” Tom managed to smile back at her, observing the ring.

“Yeah, Daddy. I promise.” She grinned, her tongue between her teeth as she flashed another smile that he thought resembled his.

Tom didn't want to believe that someone so full of spite and bitterness could be her mother, but he didn't have the heart to tell her. No matter how much he could hate Maggie for what she’s doing, Tom couldn’t ruin their possible relationship because she was her mother.

After the three of you finished your late breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and bacon, you got up to use the restroom, but also gave time for Tom to say his last goodbyes to Summer alone. You rubbed Tom’s shoulder before you slipped out of the booth, keeping your eyes on him until you turned the corner.

Tom grinned at her, but he still wasn’t sure how to tell Summer about Maggie other than she was spending the night with her for a while, thinking she would take to it but instead a confused look painted on her round face.

“I thought Y/N was my mommy.” She admitted even though he had denied her multiple times that you were.

He couldn’t hide his smile, “I’ve told you she’s not. She’s my friend. My best friend.”

“Daddy, I don’t want to go. I wanna stay with you and Y/N.” Summer persisted, placing her blue crayon down. She always got a wrinkle between her eyebrows when they furrowed.

“It’ll be a few days,” Tom assured, but he didn’t know.

“But, I don’t wanna.” She whined, bouncing a bit in her seat.

As much as he wanted to, Tom couldn’t say no. He knew this was going to happen before he could know anything else was going behind his back with Maggie. Summer pouted her lips as her mood changed, leaning back with her hair pushed up against the booth.

Tom shifted over, “Come here.” He asked her, patting where you were sitting earlier.

Summer wiggled out of her side of the booth, touching her feet to the ground before quickly lifting herself into the seat and curling up next to Tom. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her hair, feeling an instant warmth even though she was so tiny. It was as if he blinked and was surprised to see her growing so fast. His sweet daughter went from a toddler with bright blue paint on her hands and knees and blossoming into a young girl with ideas that could reach the moon and back.

“It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna have so much fun. I promise.” He sniffled, his voice cracking a bit.

“Pinky promise?” She asked, lifting her casted arm to him.

His lip quivered, but Tom quickly smiled, “Promise… and we always keep our promises, right?”

She nodded, wrapping her tiny pinky around his then squeezing it tight, “Always, daddy.”

Tom remembered when she was only able to wrap her whole hand around that same finger, wondering where the time went. He wanted to go back to when she barely had hair on her head or when he had to follow her around the room when she started to crawl, as she grabbed at stray cords or tried to get under the couch. 

“You have all your stuff?” Tom asked her.

“Mhmm, got my colors and favorite books.” Summer nodded, grabbing a piece of bacon off Tom’s place, “Do you think she’ll read them in the voices? Like you and Y/N do?”

Tom sealed his lips, “Maybe if you ask her nicely.” He cracked a smile, moving Summer’s hair out of her face.

As you walked up to the booth, Tom lifted his head and mouthed to you that he was okay. In the bathroom, you had to compose yourself before Maggie showed up. No excuse could make this situation better and all you could do was be patient and be there for Tom. While that was easier to think of, you knew as soon as you made contact with her bright green eyes, all you wanted to do was yell and protest that she doesn’t deserve to feel good about this.

“What did I miss? Anything interesting?” You joked, trying to keep the mood light.

“Daddy said I’m gonna have a lot of fun this weekend.” Summer mentioned, smiling at you with her crooked smile.

You gulped, your throat feeling dry, “Yeah, lots of fun.” You forced a grin.

The low music over the speakers filled the silence, not knowing what to say about this, especially in front of Summer. Tom kept his arm wrapped around his shoulder, but he stared out of the window with his hand on his chin, slightly covering his mouth. He didn’t want to cry, he was trying, but the more Tom thought about how there was a chance he couldn’t get Summer back, the more he dug deep to find a way to stop it.

“Hi, Tom.”

He quickly turned his head, seeing Maggie standing in front of the booth. She wore a sleek leather jacket with a maroon shirt underneath and it intimidated Summer. She furrowed her faint eyebrows, but Tom pulled back his arm around her.

“Hey, Maggie.” He didn’t look in her eyes.

She didn’t pay you any mind, choosing to ignore that you were sitting right there, but it’s not like you wanted her to give you any attention.

Summer scooted out of the booth along with Tom, both of them standing across from Maggie. There’s no doubting it was an awkward situation, but nevertheless, Tom continued to stay mature about it. He grabbed Summer’s backpack off the ground, helping her put both her arms through the straps.

“Okay, kid. I’ll see you in a few days.” Tom chuckled with his hands on Summer’s shoulders.

“Promise?” She asked, her big eyes so glossy.

He immediately clenched his jaw, knowing lying to her would hurt like a stab to his heart, but maybe it was for the better right now. There were many ways he could reply that didn’t sound like the lie it was yet he couldn’t come up with anything except, “Promise.” because he knew he would try to keep it as much as he could from where he stood.

Summer wrapped her arms around his legs as tight as she could, “I love you, daddy.” She mumbled.

“I love you too. Always.” He said before kissing the top of her head.

She looked over her shoulder at you sitting in the booth, not forgetting to say goodbye to you too. Summer walked up and got on her knees in the booth, feeling them sink into the cushion. Her small arms wrapped around you and you giggled, giving her a tight squeeze back.

“Bye, Y/N.”

“Bye, Summer.” You grinned, giving her a last glance.

She shimmed once more and stood in front of Maggie, still standing there with her arms crossed and one of her eyebrows arched.

“Let’s get going,” Maggie said, her happy tone sounding forced.

Without caring to hold Summer’s hand, Maggie began to walk away, but Summer stood still. Her little heart was racing, not sure what to do even though she was told to go with this strange woman who was supposedly her mom.

Tom glanced at Summer, his lips going to the side as he watched tears well up in her eyes. She sniffled, looking down at her feet and her body felt frozen. It was a new feeling to her, not knowing why she was suddenly so scared. It reminded Tom of her first day of kindergarten. She hid behind his leg while they stood in the hallway and all the kids slowly filled the room. He tried to nudge her to meet a new friend, maybe talk about her hobbies, but she was gripping on his jeans from how scared she was.

Just like he did on her first day of school, Tom kneeled on one knee in front of her. He angled his head to look into her eyes, trying to see her full face. He tilted her chin up and wiped her tears with his thumb, catching them as they ran down more.

“Hey, you remember when we saw the penguins at the zoo?” He grinned.

She nodded, her lip pouted.

“And you remember what the zookeeper said? That penguins always find each other, no matter where they are or how far they are... they’ll always find their way back to the colony… and just like penguins, we always find our way home too.” Tom explained, fixing the end of her jacket.

“Really, daddy?”

“Of course. You’re gonna have to keep your head up for a few days though.” He gulped, a small smirk on his lips.

Summer leaned in, wrapping her arms around Tom’s neck again and he coiled her arm around her, squeezing her arm tight. He left a quick kiss on her temple and Tom slowly stood up, trying to pull himself away so it didn’t become harder to leave her.

Maggie stood a few feet away, a bit of disappointment in her eyes. She thought this was going to be the easy part of this process, but it proved harder now that she could visibly see the bond Summer and Tom had created. You watched her lips pin together, not knowing what to do but stand there until they were done talking.

“I love you.” Summer said to Tom again.

“Love you more, kid.” He chuckled, his voice breaking from holding back his tears, “Remember to keep your cast dry. Okay?”

She slipped away from his arms and Tom’s heartfelt heavier the more he said his goodbyes. Summer held her head high and walked up to Maggie, lifting her hand up for her to hold. Maggie hesitantly reached for it, but she glanced at Tom for some kind of permission to. Tom sealed his lips and you slid out of the booth, standing behind him as you watched the two of them walk outside the diner.

“She’ll be back soon.” You whispered, rubbing his tense shoulder.

“Yeah…” He trailed, forcing a grin for you. Tom knew he didn’t have to fake his emotions for you, but right now, he didn’t want to admit he was torn apart inside.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The days didn’t pass by as quickly as Tom hoped. He didn’t realize how fast work was when he had Summer to come home to. It was hard for him to get out of bed, make meals for himself or concentrate on anything he was doing. Luckily, you were there for him or, at least, tried to be. You weren’t sure what would happen to your friendship after your sudden kiss, but you felt like it was inappropriate to bring up with what happened after it. Even though the status of your possible relationship was unknown and your feelings were still strong, you were there for Tom no matter what.

In the morning, you stirred in the sheets and felt the soft fabric of the pillow against your cheek. As you reached your arm over on Tom’s side of the bed, your hand brushed over the cotton linens which made you slowly open your eyes. The duvet was folded over and his pillow was propped up, showing you he had been up for a while before he got up. You let out a long yawn, stretching your arms and legs and feeling the cold air against your skin.

You walked around the bed, grabbing the blanket at the end of it and wrapping it over your shoulders before leaving the bedroom. When you got to the end of the hallway, you saw Tom sitting on the couch with a box in his lap and a few pictures scattered on the cushion. Your lips went to the side as you approached him, trying to be quiet but the sound of the floor creaking made Tom look over his shoulder.

“Morning.” You grinned, standing behind the couch.

You ran your hands over his hair, playing with it before you looked at the pictures. They were of Summer since she was a baby, most of them were birthday pictures or other special events, like when she lost her first tooth or the first time she stood up. Tom cherished the memories, hoping they would make him happy, but all they did was remind him how he felt like a failure.

“Good morning. How’d you sleep?” Tom asked, his voice groggy and deep.

“Fine, and you?” You replied as you trailed your hand from his hair, walking over to the kitchen.

“Good.” He lied, running his thumb against his left eye before grabbing another picture.

It was Summer’s first Halloween and he dressed her up in the homemade lion costume you worked so hard on. He half-smiled thinking about when you drew in a nose with black paint and she scrunched her face, the bristles of the brush tickling before Summer sneezed. Before you could warn her, she wiped her nose with her hand and you and Tom couldn’t help but laugh. With Halloween just around the corner, his smile fell wondering if they would have another one together.

“Here you go. Dark and two sugars.” You softly said, handing him a cup of coffee, just the way he liked it.

“Thank you.” He weakly smiled, taking a short sip.

“How are you feeling?” You asked.

Tom placed his cup of coffee on the table and collected the pictures so you could sit beside him.

“Better. I got a little more sleep.” He muttered and set the box of pictures on the floor.

You pulled off the fuzzy blanket on the arm of the couch before you sat down, laying it over your and Tom’s lap. Your crisscrossed your legs, holding your mug in your lap while Tom put his free arm around your shoulders. When you turned your head to Tom, he didn’t have the same natural glow to him. 

He was struggling to find some kind of closure, but the lack of communication with Maggie made it hard for him to not overthink. There were no calls and rarely a text. Tom was going crazy, replaying the last moments with Summer in his head.

“Maybe you can skip work today.” You suggested, rubbing the top of his leg.

Tom nodded, “I can’t. I need the tips. Hopefully, I can get Halloween night. I’ll be able to cover child support for the month.” He rubbed the back of his neck, closing his eyes as he tilted his head toward the ceiling.

Your lips went to the side, “Did Maggie say when you’d see Summer?”

He sighed, “No. I haven’t heard anything either.”

“That can’t be legal.”

“Summer’s not mine, Y/N. I don’t get to see her when I want.” Tom retorted as if he was defending her.

“You know that’s not true. It doesn’t matter if she’s your blood, you gave her the best life. Who knows? Maggie probably just forged it. People do it all the time. Why would she just come back when you slept together one time?” You acknowledged, not trusting her for a second.

“I don’t want to get into it.” He replied, taking another sip of coffee.

“Then when are you? Because I know you love that kid more than anything else in the world.” You protested, still facing him.

Tom finally looked your way, meeting your eyes, but he didn’t want to say anything. You didn’t expect a response because you knew that he did love her and he was going to find a way to get her back, no matter how long it took. You tilted your head at him, cracking a smile and tilting his chin up. The warmth that came from your comfort helped him see the brighter side in this, motivating him to see that this wouldn’t last forever.

“You know you’re the best, right?” Tom grinned.

You reached your hand up, intertwining yours with his that was hanging off your shoulder, “I try.” You joked, both of you sharing a light laugh.

You ran your fingers through Tom’s hair, trying to fix it, but he was growing it long as he did in high school. Tom let out a low chuckle, feeling your hand trail to cup his cheek and you rubbed your thumb over his cheek and the faint freckles painted across his soft skin.

While the past few days had been confusing, Tom knew that he wanted to be with you, but he didn’t want to stir you in his drama. As much as you had been there for the past six years, he realized that Summer was his responsibility, and to bring you into a triangle with him and Maggie didn’t seem fair. It’s not because he wanted to push you away for his selfish reasons, but because he wanted to protect you from whatever was going to happen from this point. You were still best friends and would always be, but it didn’t feel like enough after finally kissing each other and not wanting to let go.

As you pulled your hand back, you glanced down and see some of the pictures in the box. You quickly lean down, placing it on your lap and you picked through the various photos before there was one that brought back memories.

“I can’t believe you have this.” You chuckled, holding the photo close to your face.

Tom turned his head toward it, not knowing he had his eyes glued to you, and he instantly smiled.

“Ah, when I was your knight in shining armor.” He beamed at the picture of you with your broken arm and he stood next to you wearing his favorite baseball jersey.

“You mean when you carried my books for me and helped me put on my backpack, oh yeah, I remember.” You grinned, reminiscing to when the world wasn’t so complicated.

Tom smiled, “Don’t act like you didn’t love it.” He rubbed your shoulder, both of you chuckling at the memory. You handed him the picture, but he slowly was reminded of Summer and her recent accident.

“Shit..” He trailed, “I hope she’s kept her cast dry. I should call.” Tom said, unwrapping his arm from your shoulders and you watched him frantically looking for his phone around the apartment.

“Tom!”

“Huh?” He asked, lifting some papers on his counter.

You lifted his phone, his screen cracked, in your hand and grinned, “Looking for something?”

A relieved smile painted on his face as he walked over, taking the phone and he kissed a light kiss against the top of your head, “What would I do without you?”

It was nice to see him turning back to his old self, but you knew that his happiness was at the risk of being at Maggie’s beck and call. Even though you weren’t Summer’s mom, you wanted to have a say where she ends up too. 

You half-smiled, watching him walk down the hall to his bedroom. You turned toward the box of pictures, rummaging through enough to get an idea of how to organize them.

Tom slowly paced across his room as the phone rang, sweat on his palms that he brushed on the back of his jeans. He leaned his head toward the ceiling and tried not to overthink what he could say if he went straight to voicemail.

“Hello?” Maggie retorted, running her fingers through the crown of her hair.

“Hey. I just wanted to make sure things were okay.” Tom trailed as he sat on the edge of his bed.

“Fine, it’s fine.” She lied, searching through her laundry basket.

Tom furrowed his eyebrows, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, things are fine! I’m just trying to find this stupid sweater.” She grunted, pushing through all the folded clothes.

“What sweater?”

“Some yellow sweater with a heart on that she won’t stop complaining about.”

Summer was sitting on the couch, insisting she wanted to watch her favorite cartoons after breakfast. Maggie didn’t want to deal with the complaining and poking so it was relieving to keep her distracted instead of having to keep Summer entertained while she tried to work from home.

“Oh, I forgot to put it in there. Shit.” Tom cursed, quickly getting up.

He walked to Summer’s room, knowing the exact drawer he remembered placing it in and not surprised that it was there. Tom lifted the sweater, the sleeves unfolding, and seeing how worn it was from the ripped tag. He brought it up to his face, inhaling the lingering smell of watermelon and kiwi from her shampoo.

“Yeah, I got it. It’s here.” He told her, the phone between his ear and shoulder.

“Okay, I’ll come over and get it.” Maggie huffed.

“No, no! I can go over there. I have to go to work later so I can come by.” Tom offered, glaring at the small sweater in his hand.

“Depends, are you going to bring… Y/N?” She crossed her arms as she leaned against the washing machine, “Because I don’t think she’s been a good influence.”

Tom’s eyebrows arched, “Excuse me?”

“Summer says “Y/N lets me do this or Y/N and I do this” and I don’t think it’s good considering she’s not her mom. She shouldn’t have such big control over her.” Maggie said loud enough for Summer to hear from the couch.

“You weren’t there for her and she was so, I’m sorry if she acts like her mom more than you.” Tom chimed.

Maggie clenched her jaw, “Just drop it off. Okay?”

“Sure. I’ll be over around three.”

She hung up abruptly and Tom was left upset from not being able to talk to Summer. He hated how he didn’t have any sense of control, to think that this could be the way things are until she goes off to college. Out of anger, Tom threw his phone across the room that made a loud thud against the wall. His blood boiled and tears filled his eyes, bringing the sweater back to his face and trying to let the lingering scent keep him calm.

You stood in the hall across from the door and it was close enough to hear the whole conversation. Every word made your heart drop, not knowing what you could do for him. You hated eavesdropping, but it was getting harder to get the truth from Tom as the days went by. He was falling apart and it was getting too painful to slowly watch.

“Tom?” You softly asked, knocking on the door.

He left the sweater on the bed, wiping his eyes with the end of his t-shirt before grabbing his phone off the floor. To his relief, the already cracked screen didn’t have any new damage. Tom wiped the screen against his pants before opening the door to meet your gaze.

“Sorry about that. I just got frustrated.” He avoided looking in your eyes.

“It’s okay.” You tell him, not needing any assurance. All you did was wrap your arms around him and tell him that it would all be okay, even if you didn’t really know if it would be.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The half-hour drive to Maggie’s apartment felt like hours to Tom, his head filled with what he was going to say to her or how he was going to handle whatever she told him. He bit on his nails on his left hand while the other gripped the top of the steering wheel tight. Right when he thought of the things he could say, his anxiety made him forget all of the rational thoughts.

As he parked in a parallel spot, Tom got out of the car with the sweater in one hand with a duffle in the other. He carefully crossed the street and entered the complex, walking up the stairs to the fourth level. When he entered through the exit door, he saw the floors were polished and the lighting was bright since there were no windows. It all came off as luxurious and bare, nothing but one or two paintings on the wall.

He knocked a few times under the plastic golden numbers, his eyes searching around until he heard the locks click. The door flew open and Maggie popped her head out, her makeup a few shades darker than last time.

“Hey,” Tom mumbled.

“Hey… you brought it?” She asked quickly, opening the door more.

Tom couldn’t help looking past her, seeing if Summer was in there.

“Yeah. Here.” Tom huffed, handing her the sweater, “And I brought some other stuff she might want.” He gave her the duffle too, weighing down in her hand when he passed it.

“Jesus, what’s in this? She’s not going off to college.”

“A few books, shirts, socks, a few Mad Libs.” He said what was off the top of his head, shoving his hands in his front pockets.

“Well thanks, it should keep her busy.” Maggie quickly grinned, but before she could shut the door, Tom took a step forward.

“Can I see her? Just for a few minutes before I go to work.” Tom asked, even though he didn’t feel the need to.

She sighed, “I really have to go, Tom.”

Before Tom could say another word, Summer shouted from behind Maggie, “Daddy!”

Summer pushed past Maggie, holding out her arms and Tom immediately wrapped his around her. He spun her around with her feet off the ground. He could cry as he held her tighter, kissing the top of her hair and she giggled, “I missed you!”

He put her back on her feet, “I missed you too, kid. How’s the cast?” Tom smiled.

She lifted it up, “Good, I got more names on it.”

“Oh, yeah? Aren’t you miss popular.” Tom chuckled, watching her rotate the cast.

“Are we going home?” Summer quickly asked.

Tom sealed his lips, “Ah, not… yet.”

Summer’s face shifted, “But, I wanna go home.”

“Not yet, baby.” Tom knew it wasn’t in his control right now.

“But, I wanna go home now…” She protested, a dimple between her furrowed eyebrows.

It was the first time he heard true sorrow in her light voice. A kid always had their emotional fits, but Tom taught her that it was okay to talk to her and didn’t have to hold anything back. There was never a moment of questioning her temper tantrums or how she behaved, but he couldn’t wrap his head around this whole incident. He didn’t know how to answer her questions and help her and it was killing him to feel like he was doing nothing yet also trying to do everything he could.

“Summer, I promise you’ll be home soon, okay?” He promised, running his hand over her soft hair.

“Okay.” She pouted.

Quickly turning away, Summer fled back into the apartment and didn’t give Tom another look. He chewed the inside of his cheek and Maggie put her hand on your hip, not knowing what else to say.

“Well, thanks.” She huffed.

“When can I see her again?” Tom asked, embarrassed from how desperate he came off.

She nodded, “I don’t know...”

Tom clenched his jaw, “I raised her, I don’t understand how you can come back and just take her away like you suddenly want to be a great mother. Do you want something else from me other than child support? Huh? What is it, Maggie?” He asked, frustrated and tired of biting his tongue.

Maggie looked over her shoulder at Summer, meeting her blatant glare, so Maggie stepped into the hall to have some privacy. Tom took a few steps away from her, putting his back against the wall while she stood on her side.

“I don’t want to argue with you, Tom. I really don’t-”

“Then why are you doing this?” He cut her off.

She nodded, “I’m uncomfortable with it all.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re not Summer’s dad!” Maggie stated, “Okay? Do you know how confusing that is gonna be to her? That the guy who has raised her for six years isn’t even her dad!”

Tom was in disbelief, his throat dry and thinking as if he got the wind out of him.

“I want to take a DNA test.”

Maggie couldn’t help but chuckle, “You’re not her dad.”

“I don’t care, I’m taking a test. If I’m the father, she gets to stay with me.”

“Well, she’s not so, good luck with that plan.” She boldly told Tom, watching him walk away from the conversation.

Adrenaline fueled him, leaving the building with the last dignity he felt like he had. The doubt rapidly sunk in from Maggie’s words and for the first time, Tom started to believe that she was right. He may have wasted six years of his life, not knowing how he could have fallen for it all.

After slamming the car door, Tom huffed and wiped his hands down his face. He was annoyed at the stress he held back, thinking he had his emotions under control when everything was falling apart. A million voices spoke throughout his conscience all at once and tried to guide him, too overwhelming to maintain his cool he had kept for so long. Tom clenched his fist and quickly jabbed the steering wheel, pain coursing from his blistered knuckles.

The night shift was a wreck and Tom couldn’t gain his confidence back. He messed up drink orders that infuriated his tipsy customers, dropped a glass from how shaky his hands were, and overall couldn’t clear his mind from his argument earlier with Maggie. Nevertheless, Tom pushed through the sloppy job he did but had to flee to the back to get some air from the inebriated crowd.

With a bottle of beer in one hand, he slipped away when one of his co-workers came in. Tom exited to the back alley, the cold breeze hitting his face and the wind slapping his back when the door closed behind him. As he brought the bottle to his lips, Tom took breaths through his nose as he downed the bitter ale. His eyes burned from the icy carbonation, pulling it away after drinking most of it. He tossed the glass bottle into the dumpster across from him, running his hands through his hair as he paced around the dead end.

“Shit!” He growled, his voice echoing.

A few tears trailed down his cheek and he quickly wiped them with the back of his hand. Tom got himself together, but before he went back inside to end his shift, his phone vibrated in his front pocket. He was relieved to see your name headlining a picture of the two of you.

“Hey, babe.” Tom sniffled.

You were taken back by the pet name, “Babe?”

He smiled, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. I’m tired.” He pinched his nose bridge.

“No, no, I wasn’t sure if we were using “babe” or any other grossly cute nicknames.” You jeered, your sweet giggle comforting him.

“It’s just been a weird day.” He pressed his back against the brick wall.

“Things didn’t go well with Maggie?” You sighed, laying down on the couch.

Tom nodded, “Not exactly. But, I’m trying to figure it out.”

Your lips went to the side, not surprised Tom said it because he always liked to tackle everything by himself. There was no need to meddle, but you knew he would come around when he wanted to.

“Hey, I know it’s hard now, but… You’re gonna get her back.” You started, hoping it sounded comforting.

Tom remembered when you said he’d never lose her. He already doubted himself, but he didn’t want to have a lack of uncertainty with you, a person he trusted more than anyone.

“Tom?” You asked, only hearing the noises of passing cars in the background.

“Yeah, babe, I’m here.” Tom shook his head, running his hand down his face.

His voice cracked from the brokenness, causing your heart to flutter. You wanted to fix this all, and you would if you could, but it was equally as frustrating for you to keep your calm. You knew that if you exploded with rage and anger, Tom would follow the same path of destruction and it’s the last thing you both needed to do.

“Okay… are you coming back soon?”

“Yeah, I’m almost off my shift. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”

“Drive safe, please.” You tilted your head, pulling your legs to your chest.

“Always.” He smiled before hanging up.

Tom went back inside to finish his shift, hoping to get a few tips from his charm. He snuck a few shots of Crown and gin in between his orders, looking around to make sure none of his co-workers saw. It was out of his character to drink on the job knowing it could get him fired on the spot, but Tom didn’t care. He wanted the pain inside to numb away with warm liquor until he was sick.

Making the poor decision of driving home, Tom took his time to get back. He rubbed his eyes a few times from the haze fogging his vision, but he slowly pulled into his usual parking spot. At first, he forgot to put on the parking gear, the car rolling forward before he stepped on the brake. A drunk chuckle left his lips as he parked, pulling the keys out and he leaned on the car to maintain his balance.

You fell asleep on the couch waiting for him only to flinch from the door slamming. As you put your weight on your arms, Tom walked in with a sway to his walk.

“Hey, I was starting to worry.” You groaned, stretching as you stood up from the couch.

“Sorry, I was… trying to get home and there was… it was fine.” He slurred, a faint smile on his face.

You furrowed your eyebrows, walking up to him and instantly smelling the alcohol on his breath.

“You drove home drunk?”

“I’m here in one piece, aren’t I?” He breezed past you, kicking his shoes off by the kitchen island then heading to the bedroom.

“You could have gotten killed.” You hissed.

You crossed your arms as you followed him, standing in the door frame. Tom struggled to unbutton his shirt, not able to grip them with his hazy vision. 

“I’m here, okay? I’m fine and I just need to sleep.” Tom groaned, the alcohol fueling his irritation.

You didn’t want to pick a fight, not this late and not with everything else going on, so you digressed and decided to leave it till the morning.

As he lazily pulled apart his button-up, he threw it to the side and left him in his basic white tee. You walked around to the shared bathroom and cupped some lukewarm water in your hands to splash on your face. You could hear Tom unbuckle his pants and he threw them to the floor, missing the hamper by a long shot.

You walked to your side of the bed, glancing at him laying down with his bloodshot eyes still open.

“Tom, you can’t do this.”

“I know. I know, but this… I fucking can’t think about anything else.” He admitted.

You sat up on the bed with your head against your pillow, pulling the duvet over your legs. You ran your hand over his messy, brown curls, weaving your fingers through it and pushing it back. His eyes met yours as you continued to play with his hair.

“From how long we’ve been friends, I know you have always put the weight of the world on your shoulders.” You spoke calmly, your tone soft and sweet like honey, “But, you can’t keep doing this to yourself...”

He gulped, not knowing how to let go of this anger he internalized.

“Then what am I supposed to do?” His voice was broken.

“You need to take your time, baby.” You whispered, running your hand through his hair again.

Tom gently held your hand that was resting on your stomach, brought it to his face, and kissed the top of it a few times. You grinned, watching him bring your intertwined hands to his chest. He kept his eye contact with you, his free hand tucking your hair behind your ear.

“I don’t know how I’d stay sane without you.” He revealed, his eyes glossy.

You half-smiled, “You’d function, just not as properly.” You jeered, trying to make him laugh.

“Oh, always with the jokes.” Tom chuckled, tickling up your side and you began to kick around, letting out infectious belly laughs.

“I can’t help it! You’re fun to mess with.” You beamed.

You shifted down to be face to face with him, lying next to him and forgetting about the world for a few minutes. Tom was never big on affection with who we dated, struggling to open himself up with people he felt were temporary. Little did you know that he was wrapped around your finger since the day you fell off the jungle gym.

“I just want you to be happy.” You sighed.

He nodded, “I am happy. I promise.”

You brushed your nose against his, your head angled from the side. Tom’s light buzz lingered, wrapping his arms around your shoulders to pull you closer to him under the warm, cotton sheets. Your head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and running your hand down his abdomen. As you brought his hand toward you, but you furrowed your eyebrows at the light red and purple bruising across his knuckles.

“What’s this from?” You asked, grazing your finger over his skin.

Tom raised his eyebrows, “Uh, I don’t know.” He lied.

You pouted, “You should ice it tomorrow. It looks kind of bad.”

“Yeah…” Tom trailed, biting the inside of his cheek.

You pressed light kisses against the bruises, “Gotta be more careful, babe.”

His brown eyes brightened, a small smile on his lips before he scattered some kisses against your temple, your cheek pressing against his shoulder.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

When you two went to the clinic to get the DNA test, Tom couldn’t sit still the whole time. From the waiting room until he sat on top of the doctor’s table, he pulled at his fingers or tapped his leg which made you place your hands on him to get him to stop. You gave him words of encouragement, trying to support him through the lengthy process, especially when he saw the needle thread into his dark blue veins.

“I thought it was just gonna be a cheek swab.” He chuckled, discomfort in his chuckle.

“Some places do that, but a blood test is more accurate.” The nurse tried to calm him, her tone soft.

“How accurate?” He hissed at the sudden pinch.

Her lips went to the side, “Above ninety percent.”

His head was turned to the cabinets, fixating on the bold font of one of the flyers. You sat in the black, plastic chair next to the counter, your legs crossed and peering up at Tom. His face scrunched together for a split second, visibly seeing that he still hated needles after all these years.

“What?” He asked.

You nodded, “Nothing. You’re just making a cute face.” You jeered, placing your hand on your cheek with your elbow on the arm of the chair.

“Just reminds me of high school blood drives… Nurse Jenna always poking my vein a thousand times.” He huffed.

“It’s because you squirmed so much, like you are now.” You teased.

He rolled his eyes with a faint smile, looking down at his feet before the nurse pulled the needle away and covered it with a ball of cotton. Tom held it there for a few seconds until she slowly wrapped the light blue bandage the perfect tightness around his arm.

“You should get the results back in four to five days. We’ll let you know right away, Mr. Holland.”

“Thank you so much.” Tom grinned at her.

After the nurse walked out with the blood sample and her file, you stood up, slinging your purse strap on your shoulder. Tom stepped down from the table, pulling down his flannel sleeve to cover the bandage.

“You were so brave. Are you upset she didn’t give you a lollipop?” You joked.

“Don’t worry too much, but I think I’ll live.” He jeered back, leaning in to kiss your forehead.

You wrapped your arm around his back, giving him a light hug before you two left to check out then headed back to his apartment. On the ride home, Tom was fairly quiet with the low music from the speakers filling the car. There wasn’t anything you needed to say, but being there for each other was enough comfort. With the windows rolled down halfway, the fresh air weaved through your hair and your fingers were loosely wrapped around the top of the steering wheel.

Tom looked out the window, watching the scenes you passed by, but his head was in a different place. His elbow rested against the armrest of the door, unconsciously biting his nail and shaking his leg. You cautiously put your hand on top of his, the one settled on his leg, intertwining your fingers together without looking at him.

It was still hard getting used to the quietness, not only from you but within Tom’s life.

Tom missed Summer being at the apartment, looking forward to putting up the crayon drawings she worked on at breakfast or insisting they go to the park on weekends. But, since she hadn’t been around, it gave more time for you and Tom to be alone, at least back to how you were six years ago. For the most part, it was nice to dance in the middle of the living room, spinning each other around and sharing takeout at the coffee table while watching a tooth-rotting, romance movie. Just making it more obvious that Summer changed his life, even in the smallest things she did.

The growth of your relationship was important, but most of it was centered around Summer. It didn’t mean you couldn’t both carry a conversation without her, just that most of the things you did together were for her. Endless trips to the park, going to the zoo, taking her to girl scouts, or even running around the house playing hide and seek if it was a rainy day. Her giggles filled the apartment, endless amounts of laughter from the three of you and the memories you created. It was the one thing that motivated Tom to fight for her, just to make more and more memories and have her back in his arms for good. 

As the grueling days passed, it was closer to Halloween night and Tom was trying to get as many shifts as he could. Not only was it one of their busiest times, but he also got generous tips. Because the holiday was during a school day, Tom’s apartment held an event for some kids to come by and trick-or-treat early.

It would be Tom’s first holiday without Summer there, but the results would come any time now. It’s all that consumed his mind, on top of him working on her Halloween costume without her. She insisted she wanted to be Wonder Woman and you and Tom never used store-bought costumes, not even when she was a baby and you made a pumpkin costume out of orange felts and stitching.

“Hey! You’re gonna be late for work.” You said, running your hands through Tom’s curls when you passed by him sitting at the table.

Tom snapped out of his trance, shaking his head and rubbing his tired eyes with the palms of his hands. Today marked the day Tom should have gotten his DNA test back, checking his phone and email since he woke up before dawn.

“Are you staying late? I know Halloween week is probably like the jackpot for you guys.” You grinned, grabbing a mixed bag of candy from on top of the fridge and a bowl from the cabinet.

“Yeah, if you thought the tips from single moms paid up, wait until you get an open tab from a fratboy.” Tom chuckled as he got up, stretching his back and he brushed down his wrinkled, navy button-down.

“Well, I’m sure they’re just flirting with you too. You’re so damn charming with those brown eyes and smile.” You winked at him, shifting the big bowl of sweets with both your hands.

He walked behind you, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, “Hmm, well there’s enough of me to go around.” Tom jeered.

Tom checked his phone once again, scrolling through his email and call history, seeing him looking down at it from the corner of your eye.

“Hey, babe, you need to get going.” You reminded him, placing the bowl of candy on the small table next to the door. You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around him from behind and planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, dear.” Tom faintly smiled, nudging his head against yours before you untangled from him.

He shoved his phone in his back pocket, grabbing his denim jacket off the back of the kitchen chair. Tom told you he’d call you on his way home and to have fun, but felt some relief from not being around the kids. He’d barely spoken to Maggie since their argument last week, only getting updates on Summer and her behavior. Tom never knew someone could find the one nerve that could be pinched in any instance, making him incredibly annoyed with whatever he was doing.

The bar was getting packed as Tom walked past the crowd in the front, everyone mingling at the high-rise tables in their various costumes. There was a discount if you wore a costume, usually helping business with more drinks for lower prices, but that meant the night would feel longer with an endless amount of orders piling on top of each other with little patience from a drunken mob.

Rolling his sleeves up to his elbows, Tom made sure their inventory was stocked as he breezed by his co-workers. He wasn’t close enough to them to tell anyone want he was dealing with, but he figured it was better not to talk about it so it never came up during a shift.

Multicolored lights flashed and beamed through the moving mass of people, but enough of the warm light above the bar helped guide Tom when he was scrambling to attend to whoever he could. It took his mind off his stress, too worried about not getting drinks right when it was easy to with how hectic it was. Drink after drink, he collected a bill and shoved it in the shared tip jar behind them, hoping they made enough so everyone could walk with sore feet, but be satisfied with their hard work.

As the night grew longer, it became rowdier and it meant that it was harder to get people out so new ones could come in. While Tom talked to one of his regulars down at one side, an argument between two strangers began to ensue toward the middle. Tom looked over his shoulder while leaning on the bar, glaring at the two boys whose voices howled over the music.

“I think you should get the fuck out of my face!” One yelled, he had dirty blonde hair and a scratch by his lip.

“Chill out, what the fuck!” The other retorted and his piercing blue eyes were bright enough for Tom to see from where he stood.

“Hey, give me one second.” Tom told the man he was talking to, quickly pacing over toward the angry exchange, “Hey, knock it off.” He said with an assertive, deep tone.

They ignored Tom, continuing to argue before one threw a punch deep into the other’s face. It knocked the man on the floor, making Tom jump over the bar to try to break up the fight. While he defended himself from the guy who punched first, the other drunken man pulled Tom down by the shoulders. In his inebriated fury, he jabbed Tom in the stomach, hurting his rib which made Tom hold on his hands there.

“Hey man, get off me!” Tom gritted his teeth, grabbing the guy’s wrist to push him back down to the floor.

Even though Tom was strong enough to do so, the other nameless man tried to help Tom, but Tom was soon met with a punch to the eye, near the nose bridge. The guy was twice as large as him, able to put his weight on Tom as he threw constant punches to his face and jaw. Tom’s eyes teared up, mixing with the blood from his nose before the guy was pulled off him.

Tom quickly got on his feet, holding on to the bar, but he was met with more arguing between the two strangers he never should have intervened between, to begin with. He rubbed the back of his head, hoping he didn’t have a concussion with the throbbing under his skin. Before Tom could recover from what happened, the guy approached him again, stumbling until Tom threw a punch back.

He didn’t know what came over him, but the stress of everything instantly came out with his rush of adrenaline. More people from the crowd tried to step in, even one of Tom’s co-workers, but it ended with two police officers settling both of them. Tom tasted the blood on his lips, spitting it on the dirty floor as his heads were pulled behind his back.

“Calm down!” The officer pleaded with Tom, taking him outside of the bar.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The sounds of office phones ringing and the news playing lowly were all you could concentrate on. The police station was the last place you thought of being at a time like this, your heart racing since you picked up the phone and told what had happened with Tom. You bounced your leg, the other crossed on top of it and moving your ankle to find anything to make time go faster.

“Y/N L/N.”

You whipped your head, pushing off the chair to get up and speed walk to the front.

“Y-Yes, that’s me.” You said, putting your hands on top of the desk.

“He’s being released now.” The officer spoke with a monotone voice.

You nodded, stepping away from the desk before a short buzz echoed the hall. Tom slowly walked up, his hands behind his back before the officer escorting him released the handcuffs.

“Keep your head up, kid.” The tall officer told him before walking back to the cells.

Tom rubbed his reddened wrists, his face and body in pain from the beating he went through. When you saw his face, you almost couldn’t believe it was him. Red and purple bruises faded on his light skin near his right eye and trailing his sharp jaw. His nose bridge looked displaced and dry blood under his nose, the rest on the collar of his dark shirt. You almost couldn’t stare because of the bright redness surrounding his right eye from popping a vessel. 

“Babe…” You choked, gently holding his face.

“I’m okay. I promise.” Tom gulped, his hands settling on your hips, “Let’s just go home.” He croaked.

“Not before we go to the emergency room. Your eye looks awful.” You say, gently moving his head to take a better look at it.

He nodded, “I just wanna go home, please.”

“No, we can’t, you’re hurt--”

“Y/N, I wanna go home.” He snapped.

You clenched your jaw at his stubbornness, “Fine.”

Once you were back to the apartment, the first thing Tom wanted to do was take a shower. He sat on top of the toilet seat, unbuttoning his button-down, but winced at the soreness in his arms when trying to take his not-so-white, t-shirt off. As he continued to try to get his arms higher, Tom couldn’t push himself to do it. He leaned over in frustration, a grunt passing his lips before you walked into the door frame.

“Let me help you.” You softly said, taking a few steps toward him.

Tom didn’t have the energy to fight back so, he leaned back to sitting up straight and lifted his arms as high as he couldn’t which wasn’t much. You grabbed the ends of his t-shirt, peeling it off him and tossing it in the hamper behind you.

You kneeled in front of him, “You got it?”

“Yeah, thanks, baby.” He grunted, holding in his pain.

You nodded, placing your hands on his face and caressing your thumb over his cut cheek. A tear trailed from your waterline, hurt to see him in the state he was. He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, giving a light kiss. You ran your hand through the nape of his curls before getting back up and putting your hand on the doorknob.

“Just yell if you need me.”

He just nodded in response, wincing as he stood up and you closed the door.

You let out a deep sigh as you walked back to the kitchen, cleaning up the pots and pans you had forgotten to wash from yesterday. It was something to do while Tom was showering, not wanting to think that this wouldn’t have happened if Maggie didn’t come back into his life.

Tom’s phone buzzed on the counter, making you glance at it. The cracked screen lit up but there were a few bloody fingerprints covered on the glass. You picked it up and wet a rag, wiping off any of the dirt and blood from it but you saw an email that was sent to him a few hours ago. You didn’t want to put your nose into his business, but it could have been from the clinic.

Your thumb hesitantly pressed his code in, opening his email account, but you saw it was just a letter from a subscription. Your lips went to the side, feeling bad for snooping until your read an email that he had opened earlier. The timestamp was during his shift, not knowing if he saw it before or after, but your heart fell when you read the document.

“Based on the DNA analysis, the alleged father is excluded as the biological father. This result is consistent with the statement that the alleged father (Thomas Holland) is not the biological father of the child.”

tags/taglist: @felicityparkers @dhtomholland @duskholland @strawberrytom @itstaskeen @tomhollandsgirlfriend @bi-writes @infinite-imagination​ @honeyspidey​ @hollandcrush​ @sunsetholland​ @pparkersbitch​ @namoreno​ @calltothewild​ @spideyspeaches​ @veryholland​ @osterfieldshollandgirl​ @slutforsebstan​ @bi-lmg​ @sunshinepeterparkr​ @annathesillyfriend​ @madmadmilk​ @antigoneidk​ @hollandcreep​ @wierdflowerpower​  

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Jealous ll

Part 2!!!! I linked the sone again cause its a bop and I love it also heres pt one!

You had had enough

Thats what you kept telling yourself

As you got ready tonight

You weren't going sit in the house anymore waiting for keigo to show up whenever he felt like it

Tonight you were going out for you

You thought about how you used to have fun, how you used to be happy

And how miserable you had been lately and you decided

If Keigo didnt appreciate you anymore

Then you'd find someone who would

So thats why you found yourself looking in the mirror admiring how well you dressed up tonight to go out

You almost forgot how hot you were when you put in a little effort

You had originally stopped because keigo would tell you how beautiful and perfect you were without make up or anything

But now you were on the prowl for someone new to notice you and keigo's words meant little to nothing to you right now

Tonight you were gonna find someone to show you just a little bit of attention you craved so much and it wasnt going to be keigo

Just then you saw keigo staring at you from the reflection in mirror

he was home unusually eailer

"Dont you have to work?" You asked bitterly

"Where are you going?" He asked ignoring your statement

Sighed and rolling your eyes and picking up your purse you turned to him before leaving the bedroom, "Out. You don't have to wait up for me."

"You're being ridiculous y/n."

He said following you but you ignored him

"Y/n? Y/n?" He kept calling you, "You cant just go out an-"

"And why not?" You turned to him before you left the apartment, "according to you were not even really dating-"

"You know why that is." He told you seriously

You huffed out a fake laugh, "yeah, but its still okay for you to flirt with anyone?"

Keigo didnt respond to that making you chuckle, "Exactly...like I said im going out dont wait up." Then you slammed the door leaving.

You knew you were being unreasonable with him

You knew the two of you needed to just talk and make up

But you kept letting your anger from all your arguments cloud your judgment

Because you just wanted him to feel the same hurt and jealously you had been feeling more then anything

Keigo stared at the door you had just slammed

Things somehow got worse in the following days after your argument on your anniversary

You refused to talk to him

He tried to apologize to you but you basically brushed him off

Keigo wasn't sure what to think you said you hated him, you wouldnt sleep in the bed with him

Yet you hadn't packed up and left so that was good right?

But that distance that was growing between the two of you was wider then before

And he didnt know what to do to fix it

And now you were going out clearly dressed to find someone else

Did you really hate him? Had you really had enough of him?

Hell, he couldnt even blame you if you did he thought

You had put up with so much of him up until now

And maybe some of what you said the other night was true? Had he gotten too comfortable with you always being there?

But that was only because he loved you

Keigo was truly in love with you, and dispite you suspensions he never cheated on you

And he would never do that, you were the only one he wanted even now when you two seemed to be at each others throats

He still wanted you, and he couldn't picture his life without you

So thats why he ended up following you to the bar you were currently at

He made sure you hadnt noticed him staying in the back out of your sight

And he hated what he saw

He saw you having fun

You had met up with some of your girlfriends the three of you all laughing and drinking

You acting like you didnt have a care in the world, like the two of you didnt argue before you left out

Having a good time as if you didnt leave him alone in the house

He watched you dancing as though you were having the time of your life as other mean stared and gawked at you

He watched as a guy singled you out and was clearly flirting with you

And worst you let him and was encouraging him

You kept touching his shoulder laughing at his jokes letting him dance against you

Words couldnt describe the irritation he felt watching

He wanted nothing more then to rip that mans hands off you and fly away with you in his arms

But part of him felt like he deserved this

This feeling he had, was it how you felt?

If so he needed to fix this, was all that he could think

And he was about to go to you, but before he could someone called out his name

"Hey! Hawks is here!"

Fuck he said to himself when a crowd started to form around him

His eyes then connected with yours knowing you heard he was here

And for a moment he thought you were gonna come up to him

But instead you kept talking to the random guy ignoring him

Hawks wanted to go to you and talk to just take you back home

But was having trouble getting away from the crowd

He was all smiles talking to his fans but the whole time he kept his eyes on you

But somehow it became a battle to see who was going to be more stubborn

You continued to dance with the random guy, but now you knew keigo was here watching you

You convinced yourself not to care, you came here to have fun and he wasnt going to ruin it for you

But thats just what he was doing as you watched him talk to some random girl now

He was here to get under you skin, you were sure of it

But two could play this little game

Both of you having this little war with each other watching each other from across the room

And you couldnt lie you were enjoying it a bit

Seeing his eyes watching you, knowing he had to be feeling the sting of jealousy as another man held you close

But It all came to a head when you saw the girl he was dancing with lips on his neck

He wasnt looking at you when you saw that all his attention clearly on her

You couldn't deny the sharp feeling in your chest at the sight

And not wanting to see anymore you left the dance floor telling the guy you needed to go to the bathroom

Hawks pulled away from the handsy fan

Denying anymore of her advances

Yeah he had been trying to get under your skin now but thats was a bit much

But now when he looked up to find you again, only to see you were gone

His stomach sank

Where did you go? You had to had just seen that?

Did you leave with that guy? Hawks started to panic when he didnt seem him either

Where did you go? Why was he being so stupid just now? He should have just went to talk to you

Just then keigo noticed the guy you had been flirting with at the bar and went up to him

"The girl you were dancing with? Where'd she go?"

The guy looked at him like he was crazy "whats it too you?" He challenged him

But keigo wasnt in a playful mood and grabbed the man by the collar, "Answer the question asshole."

The guy quickly put his hands up in defeat, "she just said-

"Hawks?"

He heard his name called out and looked behing him to see you

"What are- you are so unbelievable." Yku shook your head storming off

You couldn't believe him he had the audacity to attack the guy you had been talking to

It didnt take much thought to figure out why

And it annoyed you to no end

So keigo could flirt and let girls kiss all over him but if you had a guy around you that was too much

He was such a hypocrite

You were angry your whole way back home

You stood in the mirror once you got back

But with a different feeling in your stomach then the feeling you had before you left

You felt defeated your plans of fun had been ruined and you felt like your back in the same spot you had been in

Hawks was giving you a little bit of space taking his time getting back home

Because now you were probably madder than before at him

When hr got in he saw you had just got out the shower

"Y/n..."

You heard him call out your name But you ignored him

Y/n, you have to listen to me."

You werent going to turned around but before you knew it he hugged you from behind

"Im sorry."

"Let go of me hawks." You spat out but he didnt budge

"Just listen to me y/n..."

"Why are we doing this to each other?" You asked quietly, "Why do you keep hurting me? What are we even doing? It clearly isnt wor-"

"Ive been an idiot, y/n."

Keigo buried his face in your neck, "I've been so stupid, but please please dont leave me."

You were trying to fight back tears, "I dont want to leave you keigo....but I cant-"

"Dont say you can't with me anymore. I need you." Keigo pleaded holding you tighter

You were so frustrated

You still loved him, you still wanted to be with him, because when things are good between you they're great

But the way your relationship had been it was becoming too much

But you wanted to stay with him

Because you loved him

You moved your hands and held on to his arms secretly enjoying his embrace that you missed so much

"I know you mean well keigo-"

"I love you so much y/n," keigo cut you off again, "I know ive been an asshole, ive been neglectful, ive been the worst, but dont give up on me. Please."

You finally turned around to face him and hugged him back

You could see the sincerity in his eyes as you did "I love you too keigo but I just cant do this- we keep hurting each other...thats not what your supposed to do to the people you love."

Keigo pulled back "You want me to tell everyone about us? I will." He told you, "You want me to tell you everything ive been doing I will, I promise you Ill to whatever it takes to fix us. I dont want to live the way we have anymore."

You knew he was serious and your heart leaped hearing his words but you werent sure

"You're the only one I want y/n" he said giving you a light kiss

Almost like he was asking for permission

"Ill do whatever it takes for you to forgive me."

He said inbetween kisses, "you're so important to me, im sorry i made you think you weren't."

You couldnt lie he was finally saying everything you wanted to hear

And you wanted to believe him

"You promise?" You asked him

"I promise."

[headheartbellarke]

HOME | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anon:  "Hi! If request are open can you do a charlie imagine where him and the reader (she/her) met on a project a while back and have been friends for a while, but the reader kinda had a crappy home life so she gets overwhelmed by charlies family being so loving and perfect and she basically breaks down and feels like she doesn’t fit in and isn’t good enough for him? please and thank you so much, ur writing is amazing!!!"

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem! reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, anxiety, angst, fluff

WORDS: 2,036

SUMMARY: charlie takes co-star and girlfriend y/n home for christmas but that leads to self doubt in her (im so bad at these) [note: this takes place in 2021]

    As Charlie pulls out the key from the ignition, I sigh, wringing my hands nervously. He unbuckles his seatbelt and faces me, giving me a bright, happy smile.

  “My family is so excited to meet you.” He says, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “What if they hate me?” I whisper.

  My boyfriend, Charlie, and I first met on the set of Charmed – we were both in the first episode, but I left it after that due to scheduling conflicts with my other show, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I had been a part of CAOS since its first episode – I played the role of Sabrina’s cousin, Sarah Spellman.

  Back then, we were just friends. After I left Charmed, we would text and call each other occasionally. Whenever we were in the same city, we would meet up – but that was hard considering we both had quite different lives. So, we didn’t think of each other as more than friends – sure I thought that he was attractive, but that’s it.

  But, in 2020, after CAOS was cancelled, I got a call from the casting director of Julie and The Phantoms: she was the one who had previously cast me in CAOS, and she believed that I’d be perfect for the role of Julie’s British cousin who joins her school after her parents relocate to LA – I also play Reggie’s love interest.

  I texted Charlie immediately after my manager finalized all the details for the new role. He had been excited and when shooting started in 2021, we were pretty inseparable.

  After a few weeks, I had developed a major crush on him ad the rest of the cast had also picked up on that. They were also convinced that Charlie liked me (which I didn’t believe at that time but later found out that it was, indeed, true) and they used to tease us about it all the time. Finally, a couple weeks before production ended, he asked me out on a date and it’s been really, really great so far.

  We’ve been dating for about nine months now and honestly, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s my home – all my life I’ve always felt lost, but I feel like I truly belong with him.

  Now, he laughs. “Baby. I promise you – they already love you. My mother’s been bugging me to bring you home ever since we started dating, and you’ve already met Megan, and she loves you.”

  “If you say so.” I say, still not convinced.

  He grins and we get out of his car and face his childhood home. I take a deep breath, shaking off my nerves. He knocks three times on the front door, and it opens immediately after.

  A petite, blonde woman steps out, with a wide smile on her face. She opens her arms as Charlie yells, “Mamacita!”

  “Mon chéri. Ça fait trop longtemps!”

  “Je vous ai manqué!”

  I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, but the scene in front of me is so heart-warming. Charlie’s mother is genuinely happy to see her son – one can tell by the way she’s holding him, almost like he’s a little child. Charlie is quite a couple inches taller than her, but he’s nestled his face into her shoulder.

  I can’t stop a grin from breaking out on my face. It’s honestly rather lovely. But I also feel a slight pang in my heart knowing that no one ever greets me like this when I go home.

  They separate from each other and she squeezes his shoulders, looking at him with so much love that I have to look away. I have never seen a mother look at their child like that, with such intense love. That’s dumb, I know. Mothers are supposed to love their children. But all my mother ever looks at me with is disappointment, anger, disgust, and – you get it.

  She notices me next and claps her hands. “You must be Y/N!”

  “Hi, Mrs. Gillespie. It’s so nice to meet you!” I extend a hand toward her.

  “Aw, come here! You’re gorgeous.”

  She pulls me in for a hug too, and for a moment I’m engulfed by the smell of white musk and the feeling of warmth.

  We pull apart and I smile at her, genuinely. All my anxiety has washed away.

  “My son is always talking about you, about how pretty you are and –”

  “Let’s go inside!” Charlie quickly cuts her off, eyes widened as I laugh.

  “But I wanna know what he says!”

  Mrs Gillespie winks at me as Charlie turns scarlet. “I’ll tell you when he’s gone.”

***

    Another roar of laughter erupts around the dinner table.

  Honestly, I’ve never seen a family like this – a family so connected, so loving. All of Charlie’s siblings – from his three older brothers to his little sister are here for Christmas Eve, and all of them are teasing each other, telling childhood stories, and just having the best time. I was, too. That was until I suddenly realized how I don’t fit in here.

  Everyone here grew up completely different than I did. When I was young, about two years old – my dad left my mom and I for another woman. I haven’t seen him since – although, he sends me a postcard and some money on holidays and birthdays. He’s travelling around the world with his new wife and is apparently ‘happier than he’s ever been.’

  The reason he left is because kids ‘freak’ him out and he isn’t ‘ready’ for that kind of responsibility. I mean, it wasn’t like he was fifteen when he had me: he was twenty-seven, and already married to my mother for about two years then.

  Naturally, my mother blames me for her divorce. I was born out of an accidental pregnancy, so my mother made sure to remind me every day that I was unwanted, and my birth was what ‘pushed’ him to leave us. Every single day, my mother told me that I shouldn’t have been born, that I was a mistake, that I was worthless, unlovable and so, so many more horrible things. She used to drink like crazy, and if I accidentally faced her in that state, she would sometimes hit me.

  Years and years of abuse and all that childhood trauma led me to develop a fear of abandonment, trust issues, intimacy issues, anxiety, and depression. Throughout school, I had been closed off, unable to form relationships and friendships with other people. I had feared anything and everything – I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with people.

  Of course, when I auditioned for CAOS and moved away to LA, away from that toxic environment, I got help and turned my life around. (My mother was incredibly happy to see me go since she had married another guy and now has a family with him – so I was the only thing left that reminded her of my father.) I learnt to accept, prioritize, and love myself – but I’m still working on that, of course.

  But, I know, deep down, no matter how well I am, or how happy I am – there will always be a part of me that’s broken. I’ve grown to accept that, accept the fact that I’ll always carry the trauma with me.

  But Charlie doesn’t. He’s lived a good life, and he deserves someone who can give him their everything – and that’s not me.

  As much as I hate to say it, I’m not good enough for him.

  He senses a change in my demeanour and squeezes my hand under the table. I give him a weak smile.

***

    “Y/N/N, what’s wrong?”

  I look up at my boyfriend. He has a look of concern on his face as he takes a seat next to me on the couch.

  I sigh into the quiet. Everyone has fallen asleep, except Charlie and I – we are seated in his living room in front of the fireplace.

  “Nothing. I’m just really tired.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N. You were fine throughout dinner – oh my god, it’s the ice cream, isn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “The pistachio ice cream that Maman made. It was weirdly bitter, eh? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

  I purse my lips. “No, Charlie. The ice cream was great.”

  “Are you sure? You’ve been down since desert.”

  “It’s not the ice cream, babe.”

  “Okay, then, what is it?”

  He looks at me expectantly, and I can sense that he’s feeling anxious.

  “I just – I realized that I don’t fit in.”

  He furrows his brows, but before he can say anything, I start speaking again. “Charlie, you have such a loving and perfect family. And you know how I grew up. What I went through. So, you know that I’m not used to this. I’m not – I’ve never seen love like this in a family, you know. And I don’t fit in here! While your mother was being so nice to me, I kept wondering when she’s going to scream at me. Or when your father was genuinely interested in me, I kept thinking that maybe he’s trying to find a way to get rid of me. It’s just – it’s just the way I grew up, and I’ll always be like this, Char. Your family is so nice, and it shocks me, honestly. And I think that maybe it’s better if you date someone who grew up the way you did, someone who’s like you. Because I have been broken my whole life, and I don’t think that I can give you everything that you need. I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met, and I think you should be with someone who’s worthy of you.”

  I whisper the last part, and feel a teardrop fall into the space between my collarbones. I look down because I’m too afraid of what he might say.

  I hear him breathe out heavily and I feel him take my hands in his.

  “Don’t you ever say that.”

  “But it’s true –”

  “Y/N. Don’t you dare doubt yourself. You are good enough. No, you’re perfect. You’re the strongest woman I know. I completely understand why you feel what you’re feeling right now.”

  He scoots closer to me and cups my cheeks in his hands. “And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to feel shocked. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you not good enough. In fact, it makes all the stronger – you went through so much as a kid, and still, you have space in your heart for me. You know, I never doubt the fact that you love me, ever. Because you always make me feel special, make me feel good about myself and always make sure that I’m happy. You always go out of your way to take care of me, and you always make me feel at home. I don’t want anyone other than you. I love you so much and I never, ever wanna lose you.”

  I think I’m fully crying now, as Charlie continues, “It’s okay to feel that way. Take your time. But I’m never leaving you. You’re my person, and you’ll always fit in with me, baby. Always.”

  “Charlie…”

  I look at him properly, and I can see the pain in his eyes as a tear traces along the curve of his cheek. He sniffs, saying, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”

  “Why are you so good to me?” I whisper, my throat still tight from the emotions.

  “Because you deserve someone good, and I can only hope that I’m good for you.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder as a sob escapes my body. “I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.” I keep whispering that, while he rubs my back, saying ‘it’s okay.’

  “I love you so much, Charlie. Honestly, thanks for being so good to me. You have no idea what you mean to me.”

  I can feel him smile as he says, “I think I have a pretty good idea, yeah.”

***

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