#im both sad and happy

[fandom-shit-i-like]

After the latest episode, I read 3 volumes of The Apothecary Diaries manga I had previously bought yesterday, and have continued to binge read it online.

I can’t stop myself!!

Augh, it’s too good!!

I am going to fully catch up with the manga soon at this rate

[alaydbug]

lou and siobhan enjoyed being baron WAY too much they were giggling and kicking their fucking feetsies the whole time.

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

[deep-space-lines]

uh......... yeah, sorry about this one

lyrics are from Rejoice by AJJ

[starry-bi-sky]

finally giving fem danyal her own au and fulfilling my 'danny is an animal whisperer' agenda at the same time: mother of monsters danyal 2.0

i say "2.0" because TECHNICALLY 'mother of monsters danyal' is an au I made back in June for Dark fem!Danyal (who I promptly named Layal). However, I haven't posted much for her yet, and I like the "mother of monsters" premise too much to leave it only to Layal. Plus Danyal in that au was going to become the mother of monsters anyway, just with significantly less world domination and mass extinction.

'Animal whisperer' Danny has been something I've been thinking about since my latest DP 'wolfpack au' post and it's! So fun to think about, and who no better to assign the idea to than Danyal Al Ghul? Who comes from a family infamously known for their love of animals and nature?

Fem Danyal is just purely self-indulgent. *gestures wildly at her* i just lomvb,,, her,,,, I've only really mentioned her in context of the 'Things in Threes' au/my first Danyal al Ghul au with the facial scar, but she's!!! I love her. She deserves her own au <33

So kill three birds with one stone! Make a post about it.

Anyways, Danny has a large lair. Similar to cult leader danyal, her lair is a giant mountain region resembling nanda parbat with a big temple/palace-like area built into the mountain. It's large, it's overflowing with natural flora, with its own mini-floating islands hovering over some areas, and it's also completely empty.

Danny takes one look at her lair upon first meeting, -- noting that it looked relatively smaller from the outside -- and promptly, with the elegance of an Al Ghul, goes "What the hell??" Because yes, while she does enjoy her own solitude and privacy, this is a bit ridiculous.

For heaven's sake, there's even a massive lake in there! What's she going to do with all this space? Can she make it any smaller? Why is it so big in the first place? This looks borderline like one of the mega-islands!

She finds out later that apparently, the amount of ectoplasm a ghost has can have an effect on the size of their lair. And since she has such a large core, her lair reflects that. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, it's bigger on the inside so it doesn't take up "too much space" on the outside. Don't worry about it too much.

Danyal isn't totally opposed to having such a large lair, she's just... a bit baffled by it. It feels like so much wasted space is all. All this flora and no fauna to enjoy it with. It's practically eerie.

She decorates her temple-palace area, transforming rooms to match her needs as she sees fit. In the center of the inner gardens is a massive tree that she likes to climb, with twisting, winding branches. Sam and Tucker have honorary rooms, even if they can't safely leave the specter speeder for long periods of time, even with proper safety equipment. So does Jazz. Ali (Dani) has one too, but he can actually use that one, and Danny brought him to her lair so he could decorate it himself.

She has a personal garden, but for the most part she lets the flora exist as it is. Too much space to cultivate it en masse anyways.

Skip to a few weeks later, on her next visit to Clockwork. She developed a habit of going to see him semi-regularly just because. She enjoys his wisdom, and he has a lot of stories to tell, and when he's not being the cryptic and esoteric timekeeper, he's a bit goofy.

(pushing my dadwork agenda here,,, i think Danny deserves to go 'hey, Lord Clockwork, do you want me to buy you something' while she's at walmart, only to receive a singular glowing sticky note that says 'cucumber gatorade'.)

(She insists on referring to him with his proper titles even for the most mundane of things because it's proper, but Clockwork sees a future where she eventually calls him "Cee" and by all things in existence is he determined to get there. Anyways,,,)

On her next visit to Clockwork, just as she is about to leave, Clockwork stops her and goes; "Ah, I have something for you. Hold out your hands."

Danny does as such, and Clockwork doesn't give out things often, so her curiosity has spiked to the highest levels. He turns away from her for a moment, using his staff to summon whatever it is he needs, and when he turns around.

He drops a fish into her hands. Granted, a fish in a small glass tank. But a fish nonetheless. A small one, roughly about the size of her finger, with a blue-black, eel-shaped body and four sets of glowing eyes. She can see thin, almost translucent, but spiny fins down its back and the start of bioluminescent markings. It's swimming around in circles in its small container.

"Lord Clockwork." Danyal says all too calmly.

"Yes, Danyal?"

"What is this?"

"That is an adolescent leviathan, Danyal." She’s transfixed onto the tank, but she doesn’t need to see Clockwork’s face to hear the smile he’s stifling.

The myriad of emotions that runs through her all at once threatens to overwhelm her, and she can’t tell if the feelings are negative or positive. So she carefully closes her eyes to breathe in through her nose.

“Clockwork.”

“Ah, I see you’ve dropped formalities.”

She ignores that.

“Why have you given me an adolescent leviathan?”

She's expecting the trickster to look amused when she opens her eyes. Instead, he just looks endeared. "I know you're fond of animals," he says, "and you always look amazed when you come across an animal of the realms. So I thought you might enjoy taking care of the young beast, it's mother is dead so it has no one to care for it."

Oh.

"But, if you don't like it," Clockwork's hands reach out for the tank, "I can simply take it back--"

Danyal shifts the tank out from his reach and hugs it possessively. "I never said that. How do I care for it?"

And so clockwork gives her a list, and when Danyal returns to her lair, she sets up a large tank in her room for the leviathan to swim in -- it's much too small for the lake right now, she thinks. She'll feel better if it's somewhere she can find it. She names him Suhā.

Suhā grows quickly, and by the end of the mortal month she transforms one of the rooms into a large pond for him to swim around in. He's a very loyal beast, recognizing her as it's mother of some kind. Danyal takes great care ensuring that her beastie gets quality care, and Suhā swims to the surface to see her when he senses her in the room.

It spirals from there. Somehow, Pandora catches wind that Clockwork gave her a leviathan, and so the next time Danyal visits the Greater Athens, she gives her a baby chimera. It's eyes are still sealed shut, Danyal can't bring herself to say no. She names the little beastie Firas.

Frostbite hears about it too, and not to be outdone, gives her an animal she's never even heard of. Infinite-realms born, apparently. A fox-like creature with two small horns like an impala, four eyes, and tall legs. The name isn't something she's quite sure how to write down, and she's positive that her friends won't be able to comprehend it. She names her Eira.

Getting the three of them used to each other was... interesting. Suhā tried to eat Firas when Danyal first introduced the two, and they've hated each other ever since. Firas and Eira are seemingly getting along. Her island already feels full enough with the three of them on it.

Of course, that's not the end of it. With her luck, she begins stumbling across other monsters. Realms-borne or otherwise. An injured hydra in the Grecian islands that, through lots of trial and error, Danyal is able to rehabilitate and heal. It routinely comes to visit her afterwards.

A griffin with a broken wing that she moves permanently to the island that likes to keep to itself, but tends to come down when she's near. It gets along best with Firas.

A panther-like monster from the Shades Woods that had six legs and three tails, with ends that reminded her of a venus flytrap. It stuck around the heavy foliage and she can only make out where it was when she saw its golden eyes reflect.

She befriends a young indrik with its leg injured, and much like the hydra it follows her back to her island, and stays there in the mountains. It comes out when she's alone, much like her other beasts.

She receives two more leviathan -- one from clockwork, and one she finds herself while exploring the deeper and darker recesses of the Ghost Zone. It was huddled against the carcass of its mother, and she managed to befriend and get close enough to it to bring it back to her island. Suhā is fully grown by then, with a head bigger than Danyal herself and he still likes to stick her head out of the water for nuzzles when she's near.

He's not very happy with his new siblings, but he's not trying to eat them when she's not looking. So she calls it a win in her book.

And it's not just large beasts either; smaller animals begin popping up when she's not looking. Bird-like creatures and small mammals, and she swears she saw a doe (or something resembling a doe) grazing in the forest while she was walking by.

She takes back with her a lone snake egg once, and it grows so big it wraps around her island and sleeps with its massive head on the mountain beside the temple, like some smaller breed of Jörmungandr.

And on and on it goes. Some of the beasts she comes across never step foot onto her island, some of them follow her back, while others she has to carry back. Not all of the ones that follow her stay, and Danny rehabilitates the injured and releases them when they're fully healed.

It's hectic, and busy, and frankly she loves it. Some of her rehabilitated beasts return to visit her, or to have their children somewhere on the island, or whatever it is they need to do.

She becomes a bit infamous for it. She goes to visit Dorathea once, and as she's walking through the streets she can hear some of the denizens whispering while she walks past.

"Is that her?"

"Her highness' friend? Yes--"

"--that's the one--"

"--Mother of monsters--"

Danny's not sure how to feel about that.

Although, she can't say she's opposed.

Danyal Al Ghul, Mother of monsters, raiser of beasts. It has a nice ring to it.

[the-dragon-girl-27]

Flocking drawings!

Crassigyrinus surfacing for air showing off its weird ass teeth

two female Kelenken nuzzling under a rainbow

Diplocaulus catching its prey

one of the last Rodrigues Solitaire crying out trying to find a companion to no response

[plushie-lovey]

Collectors with multiple of the same plush! Show me your doubles (I wanna see lots of twins and triplets!)!!

[feelo-fick]

Au where eating the demons desire makes Laios immortal

Demons Curse

—

WHYYYYY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO MEEEEEEE WHYYYY SNIFF SNIFF IM SO SAD. IMS O SAD. I DREW THIS WHILE FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS. uaogh okay let me get my thoughts out about this

i originally was sorta happy in a bittersweet way cause i thought, well at least marcille has company, they have eachother to lean on now!

...but then i realized marcille isnt immortal. shes gonna live LONG, but shes not immortal. AND I GOT SO EXTREMELY SAD

can you imagine, trying to convince your friend not to extend everyones lifespans to a scarily long degree. and then having to help her deal with that fear and grief of losing her loved ones. AND THEN REALIZING YOURE IMMORTAL AND OUTLIVING ALL OF YOUR LOVED ONES INCLUDING HER. imagine being marcille as she gets older watching laios experience the same exact fear and grief she knows so well and knowing she cant do anything other than reassure him itll be alright. imagine being so scared to die and now suddenly you know someone who CANT die and realizing thats SO MUCH WORSE paces in circles. AAAAAAUGH

additional thought of this au, what if this was part of the demons curse to never allow laios' greatest desire to be granted? i mean laios is a very simple guy with simple wants, he wants to be loved, to eat good food, to study monsters, to be around his friends, and generally just live a normal life. being immortal would definitely complicate things... he'll be able to see and experience so many things but he wont be able to do it with his loved ones, not for long.

and also, being king, he'd probably be in that position for a long long time - maybe he'd willingly retire at some point but even after that where would he go then? what would he do? he cant go and find monsters to study, they all avoid him. i guess, explore the rest of the world? watch everything move on without him?

speaking of, imagine if he lived up until a time like modern day. so many years so many friends (gained and lost) and so many changes... that would be insane. THIS IS SPIRALLING INTO ME JUST GOING "WOULDNT IT BE FUCKED UP TO BE IMMORTAL" AJDNSJXBAH

anyways, final note, im reminded too of this "hand my my shovel, im going in!" animatic that haunts my mind forever AUGH its so good, and captures my immortality thoughts perfectly

[introspectivememories]

tim and bernard who break up and it's nothing big, no one cheated or anything. it's just their lifestyles didn't work out well together. tim cannot give up vigilantism currently and bear cannot handle the level of danger tim puts himself in. and on the other hand, tim cannot handle the fact that bear chooses to run into danger as an emt bc he already worries about everything but now he has to worry if he'll find his boyfriend convulsing from fear gas in a random alley but also bear who felt the life drain out of darla cannot stand the thought of not helping people and runs headfirst into dangerous situation after dangerous situation hoping that every person he saves can somehow make up for the fact that he could not save darla.

(he very pointedly does not think about the fact that there was nothing he could do because if he thinks about that, he'll spiral until they have to lock him in arkham too)

and so they break up but they were tim & bernard in high school and when they started dating they balanced out the worst of each other and they became tim&bernard. and everyone who knows them, knows that they're better together but they cant be together, they refuse actually because they cannot lose another person to the violence of gotham and by the time they figure out that they cant work together as long as the other is an emt or vigilante, it's too late for both them. they've already left too many pieces of themselves in each other.

tim still knows what bear means when he says "tim" in that exasperated voice. tim still goes boneless when he hears bear say "baby" in that firm tone. bear can still read tim like a book. he still knows the right way to massage tim's neck so that tim can go to sleep. everyone at the first responders gala knows not to bother ceo drake-wayne and senior emt dowd when they're talking.

(and if they're standing a little too close to each other than what is normal, who are they to judge? everyone knows that dowd and drake-wayne have history)

and if everyone on the night shift has caught red robin with his head tucked into the crook of emt dowd's neck as emt dowd runs a soothing hand up and down the vigilante's back, well then, they just quietly back away.

(after all, dowd's one of like, five, emts that can get the bats to receive medical treatment so if turning a blind eye to whatever the fuck they have going on is what allows them to give back to their heroes, then the night shift will do it every time)

and of course, tim and bear are practical people. they loved (love) each other sure, but when your lives are fundamentally incompatible, well, you cant get too stuck on the what-ifs, that's for sure. and so they do find love with other people and yeah, maybe it's not what they expected love to be when they first fell in love with each other. it's not the bubbly, stomach-swoopy, cant stop grinning, feeling that permeated tim&bernard's early days or the i Know you/you Know me that was their middle or the quiet despair that was their end but it is contentment. and in a life with as many losses as theirs, contentment is something they hold dearly

and they're happy! truly! but sometimes, at galas when they're making each other snort champagne out their noses or in darkened alleyways when their clothes are both stained with blood or at rallies for stricter gun regulations in gotham where they both sit too close to each other, fingers enclosed around each other in a death grip, when the presenters inevitably bring up grieves

(worst school shooting in gotham in decades, there's blood on their hands and blood in their mouths and darla is dead in between both of them and there is a chasm so wide that they are screaming to get their voices across and she will always be dead and maybe this had always been the problem that she is dead and there is no coming back from that and that there is blood on their hands and blood in their mouth and blood on their han-)

but sometimes, most especially on opposite sides of the street, as life pulls them in different directions, just sometimes, they see each other and just for a second, nothing too long, the flap of a hummingbird's wings, the time it takes to blink, an electron's orbital, they look at each other and for the briefest moment, blue on brown, a barely noticeable stutter in their steps, the space between heartbeats, because this is all they will give themselves because they do not dwell on what-ifs or what-could-have-beens, or what-should-have-beens, or delusions of a softer world, their eyes meet and they think to themselves, god, in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with him.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

[useyourglutes]

born to go to the clancy tour, forced to sit at home and cry while watching livestreams 😔

[pepperedwires]

Let them reunite in Episode 8. Let them see each other again. Let my man see his wife again. :’C

[thewiz9062]

OK so

@smilingcrittersthingig 's Reborn AU has completely mentally beat my ass for the past 5 hours (compliment) so I'm just gonna. Rant.

THIS DESTROYED ME.

if I was an easy crier I actually wouldn't be typing this cause I'd be inconsolably bawling in my room

I can't even say that they're wrong for hating him, I mean he killed them and I'm not excusing him but GODDAMN I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM AS WELL.

Like ppl joke abt how catnap is so devoted to the prototype but compared to simple "belief" He was PHYSICAL and actually tried to help him escape the hellhole that was playtime co.

(If you're not aware it's either theory or fact (i can't remember) that Theodore [Catnaps soul] had attempted an escape attempt via the help of the prototype and they got DAMN close but Theodore was fatally injured and instead of leaving him there to die the prototype had to go back and let them turn him into catnap.)

The prototype was so adamant on keeping him alive that they went back to their CAPTORS just so he wouldn't die. SHIT, I WOULDVE STARTED WORSHIPPING TOO!!! Even if he didn't make it out they didn't abandon him, so he had full belief that one day, under THEIR order, him and the rest of the critters would leave that place.

So imagine the heartbreaking moment when he realized that his fellow captors, his friends, both in form and mind, don't share the same sentiment, maybe even calling him crazy and violent.

And he just? doesn't know why??? Maybe he can admit the prototypes methods were a bit too confronting but it's not like they didn't TRY the non confrontal method. He thought they'd agree, they'd follow him but it wasn't the case.

So, well, he listened to the prototype. And that included killing his friends, yes, and it's stated (in the au) that he does regret it and I'm crying again great (positive)

And now they're all there, everyone that has either indirectly or directly been killed by him are there and they want him dead now too. AND HES PROBABLY STILL CONFUSED ON WHY THEY EVEN WENT AGAINST HIM AND WANTS TO KNOW. BUT ITS NOT LIKE HE CAN JUST GO ASK THEN THEYD ATTACK HIM PHYSICALLY OR VERBALLY ON SIGHT SO NOW HES S C A R E D OF THEM.

AND YOU CANT BLAME ANYONE BUT PLAYTIME.CO BECAUSE THEYRE ALL VICTIMS HERE. I CANT.

Oh and this.

I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANY SADDER THEN YOU SHOT ME WITH THE DOOMED YAOI. HELL ITS NOT EVEN DOOMED ITS POST-DOOM. E V I L . THE FACT THAT DOGDAY PURELY HATES HIS GUTS AND WANTS HIM GONE AND DEAD THE MOST OUT OF ALL OF THEM IS GONNA KILL ME.

And then to add the final stab through my heart (compliment) I went to scourge for the enemies chart and-

HE HATES HIM SO MUCH! AND CATNAPS THE ONLY ONE OUT OF THE TWO WHO WANTS TO RECONCILE EVEN IF ITS JUST A LITTLE BIT AND WOULD MISS HIM QUITE A BIT WHILE DOGDAY JUST WANTS HIM G O N E . I CANT ANYMORE (I so can I love this)

You so did this to make people depressed for a week, it's working. And I love you for it.

Anyways we love angst in this household please keep it up I'm eating this au up for another 2 weeks buh bye

Edit: I'm so sorry for editing this so much the thoughts won't go away

[russelliv]

what do you mean lewis' last race in mercedes is in 3 weeks? what do you mean we won't get any more britcedes fanzone, where they banter and ignore the host? where they say stupid shit like "my wrinkles are showing" and in return "black don't crack"? what do you mean we won't get to hear for the 1000th time about how lewis' singing in his driver's room both distracts and relaxes george? what do you mean we won't see lewis and george racing each other fair and square in the same colored car anymore? what do you mean we're losing the best driver lineup the grid currently has? what do you mean george and lewis won't encourage each other through ig comments and stories as teammates anymore? what do you mean they won't share those little ass parade cars where lewis' big stature and george's long legs has to squeeze between? what do you mean george will not get to be teammates with his idol growing up anymore? will not get to be the last teammate lewis ever have and instead be just second to the last? what do you mean all of the content we've gotten from them the past 2 years becomes older and looks older when both george and lewis inevitably change and grow older, but even then, their memories, moments, and respect towards each other remains the same and as precious as it always has been?

what the fuck do you mean it is over?

[icannotgetoverbirds]

shitty image id: a screenshot of an email from quitmormon confirming the recipient's resignation. end shitty image id.

It's done.

[dittolicous]

If I can be real for a second - what turned me off from BNHA/MHA wasn't even the series itself (though it def has some things I don't care for in the later half) but the fucking real life League of Villains stans who just CONSTANTLY blasted the hero side and acted like LoV were totally in the right just because they have tragic back stories where they were abused or failed by society (it started getting truly unbearable when Hawks killed Twice, like jesus. I will forever argue his actions were entirely valid, if misguided, given the information he had).

Because... it's literally the gif.

The who damn point was that they had valid points, that hero society was fucked up and failing the people who needed help the most... but LoV were not against MURDERING GENUINELY INNOCENT PEOPLE and thus had to be fucking STOPPED. They didn't just kill heros, they'd kill civilians as well. They were actively continuing the cycle that hurt them, just for the other half of society. Their actions weren't about making everyone equal, it was about making others suffer and putting themselves at the top.

Their reasons being understandable and sad DON'T MAKE THEM THE TRUE GOOD GUYS. Just like the heroes weren't purely the good guys because they fought bad guys (fuck Endeavor, all my homies hate Endeavor). It was gray vs gray, not black vs white. Both sides had something they needed to learn or understand, and change as a result of.

I just got so sick of wading through 'LoV is right!' 'Kill Hawks/All Might/etc.' 'All Mights a bad guy' rhetoric, I couldn't enjoy MHA.