#im being fucking punished by being sent back here. and for WHAT

[sodrippy]

⚡⚡⚡💥💥💥 NERVE PAIN BE UPON YE 💥💥💥⚡⚡⚡

[enhard]

park sunghoon — “code red”

let it fall, call it code red

: you send your boyfriend some risky photos, knowing he’s about to perform in front of thousands. the punishment you’ll get is well deserved.

pairing: bf!p.sh x fem!reader

cw: smut, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions about multiple rounds, sunghoon using your body for his own pleasure, he ties up your hands, degrading kink, hair pulling, slight masturbating, sending explicit photos and texts, lots of teasing.

not proofread, enjoy! (MDNI)

it’s been an hour ever since you kissed your boyfriend goodbye, wishing him luck at his upcoming concert. an hour ever since you couldn’t stop thinking about him, closing your eyes just to imagine him being right there between your legs.

you’re laying down on your bed, the need to touch him sinking you in the mattress. you sit up to look into the mirror that’s by the bed, deciding to tease him a bit.

you know that he’s with his members right now, having to perform any second.

you keep looking at your body in the mirror, lifting your undershirt just enough to show your abdomen. you take off your shorts, leaving yourself in your panties.

biting your lip, you open your camera app. you lay back down in your bed to take a few pics from the neck down. your boobs sit so nicely for the picture, almost like knowing you’re taking them for your love.

after you take some pics, even a short video for you holding your phone up with your right hand while running your left hand all over your body. you slightly smile and the camera picks it up perfectly for him.

you squeeze your thighs together, starting to grind on your own panties while thinking about him again.

you quickly open up the texting app, seeing that he was active 2 minutes ago. “perfect” you mumble to yourself, letting out small sounds as you’re squeezing your thighs tighter.

you send him a little text first, to see if he’d reply in the first place.

hey baby are you still backstage?

heyy my love yeah im still here, they’re delaying the concert a few minutes lol. what’s up?

oh if he knew right there.

mm i’m glad then, i miss you alreadyyy 😓

🫣 what do you mean by that darling?

and then you just go for it. you smile as you send him one photo of the ones you took, along with that short video. the blinding red led light hovering over your skin.

as soon as he sees the photos, he covers his phone screen to not leak it to anybody by accident.

he gulps, examining every part of your body visible. oh how he wishes he could throw kisses all over your pretty body. he hates what you’re doing to him but oh how much he loves how hot you look for him.

he can feel his bulge getting harder with each passing second staring at the material you sent him, looking down and cursing under his breath.

he immediately texts you back, struggling already.

you fucking slut, you got me hard already how am i supposed to perform now?

you smile even harder at his text, travelling your hand down to your panties just to rub yourself. you want him inside you badly, but teasing him is equally as fun.

letm help u get rid of it go smwhere whereno one can see u ;)

i don’t have time, if i get caught you’re so dead whore. i’m coming home right after this but why are you typing so weird all of a sudden?

ifs hard typingwuth one hand love 😜

oh you have no idea what you’re doing to me right now. when did i let you touch yourself? you’ll see what will happen when i get home. you better be all ready cause you’re not going down easy.

you don’t get to even text back, cause you get another few ones from him.

fuck i need to perform now

you’re getting punished when i get home

ill fuck you so good you’ll need me all the time from now on

you better not cum until i get home

you close your eyes, replaying his texts in your mind on repeat as you rub your panties faster. you keep his promise on not cumming, figuring you already pissed him off enough already.

your nipples get hard from the cold air coming from the open window. you get such heat in your stomach you can’t tame, only way you can tame it now is by letting sunghoon do whatever he wants to you.

you wonder the whole time how he performed with a boner but he did quite well, hiding it as well as he could. of course all he could think about was you.. those photos you sent floating in his mind on loop.

he forgot a few lyrics here and there being too preoccupied remembering the curves on your body he loved so much. how he was going to trace his fingers over every bump and curve on it.

feels like hours passed since his concert started, but the concert’s duration was only an hour, way shorter than the usual concerts he holds.

when they were done performing, backstage he quickly changed his clothes and took his things to run home. he didn’t even care enough to greet his members, all he wanted was you.

when you hear the front door open, you almost squeal out of excitement. you fix up your hair a bit, covering yourself with the blanket on your bed.

he drops all his things just to burst through the bedroom.

he eyes you up and down, his gaze changing suddenly when he sees you.

he walks over to you, already talking his jacket off.

“let me give you what you want love, you deserve it.” he growls, dragging you out of bed. your body gets exposed to him like this, and he can’t help but run his hands all over you. he picks you up just to squeeze you between him and the wall. you feel his hard cock against your panties as he’s smirking.

you grab onto the collar of his shirt, whining at him. “pleaseee fuck me already. i was a good girl, i didn’t cum yet.” you feel proud of yourself, and he gives you a kiss for that.

“you are a good girl, but not good enough for me not to punish you. know that right?” you nod. but you don’t mind. you wrap your arms around his neck, hoping for the best.

he throws you back onto the bed, getting on top of you. he doesn’t hesitate taking off his shirt while smiling at you. he leans in for another kiss before running his hands up your undershirt to cup your breasts. he plays with them, tugging on your nipples and pinching your skin. you know how much he loves them, and you love when he plays with them. then he just takes off your undershirt, wanting to see them in their glory.

you try reaching to touch his abs, but he quickly takes off his belt to tie your hands above your head with it. you look at him while pouting but he doesn’t buy any of it.

“no pouting and no touching slut, this is what you get. next time watch what you do.” you nod, looking down.

as he’s about to take your panties off, he notices how wet you are, scoffing.

“talk about me being hard, look at you slut. you’re so wet just for me.. that’s how i love it.” he chuckles, sliding them off you too easily.

he parts your legs, rubbing your pussy a bit before inserting his fingers inside you.

you instantly moan, bouncing up and down trying to move around on his fingers.

he slaps your pussy, making you stop. “did i tell you to do that? oh you’re getting on my nerves whore. sit still before i have to tie you up whole.”

you gulp, apologising in a sweet voice. “im sorry.. daddy.” he clicks his tongue. “that’s better. keep your legs open for me.” he takes his fingers out of you, leaving such emptiness within you.

he takes off his pants and boxers in one move.

he’s way too needy to waste time right now, but he’s down to teasing you any time.

he starts fisting his cock, right with you watching with your legs open. he gives himself deep strokes, groaning a bit with each one. you’re sitting there craving his cock too bad to be cutting with this right now. you start doing what you’re best at, whining.

“what are you doing… please fuck me alreadyyyy i feel way better than your hand pleaseee..” you’re pathetic whining and begging like that, but it does the job in convincing him.

without saying a word, he shoves it all inside you. he doesn’t give you any time to adjust, making you scream out of frustration.

“you stretched yourself enough with your fingers thinking about me, be quiet before i make you keep your mouth closed.”

you try keeping quiet as he’s thrusting into you at whatever pace he wants, moaning every few thrusts. the heat in your stomach gets more and more unbearable, you let out small noises and he’s fine with that.

“you’re such.. a slut..begging me.. to fuck you.. you’re all mine.” you nod frantically.

“..i’m all yours… only yours.. fuck daddy pleaseee..”

he picks his pace up upon hearing the new nickname you chose again, pulling at your hair little by little.

you clench around him as you’re about to cum and he keeps your legs wide open, grabbing them harder. “let me.. make you cum pretty girl..”

and you do just that, you furrow your eyebrows as you cum all over him. all over his abs and the covers.

he hisses as you’re cumming, enjoying your quiet moans.

he leans in to rest his head in the crook of your neck, fucking into you even faster than before.

you wrap your legs around him, expecting for him to cum soon.

you’re right, and without saying a word he’s convinced you’re letting him cum inside you.

he thrusts into you a few more times before letting out a moan as he’s cumming in you filling you up.

you roll your eyes back, enjoying the feeling too badly.

after a bit he sits up, making you sit on his lap. your arms still tied, you give him a kiss.

“i’ll use you the whole night you whore, you’ll regret sending those pictures.” he says in a low voice.

you’re willing to let him use you, this was your reasoning on why those photos exist. you want him to use you, knowing that you give him more pleasure than anyone could.

you just smile, knowing your plan worked.

“use me up, cum inside me just how you love it. until you stop seeing red.”

[harryslittlefreakk]

arrogant s.o.b

summary: based on this request - grumpy/mean Harry and readers first fight and he says something really harsh/yells and makes her cry? And then feels really bad after like grumpyxsunshine vibes?

warnings: angst

wordcount: 1.6k

a/n: thank you to the anon who sent in this request!! 🥰💖 sorry it took me a while to get around to it. please let me know if this isn’t quite what you wanted, i don’t know if I’m 100% happy with it so im more than willing to tweak and rewrite!!!

my masterlist!! please feel free to send me more requests 💓 happy reading

“I miss you, Harry.”

You knew you were pushing it, he was already working himself to breaking point. But you couldn’t help it, you missed your boyfriend. His break was meant to be about finding time for himself again, spending time with his loved ones. And you thought that meant being with you, not spending every day confined to the four walls of a recording studio.

“I can’t delay my entire album because you miss me.”

“I’m not asking you to delay the entire album. Just take a day off, just once.”

“Why?! For what?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Now you were both pissed off. You didn’t understand why Harry couldn’t just slow down. You’d only been able to see him in Italy for a few days, your work schedule unexpectedly busy. Part of you thought he was ‘punishing’ you for that, the sane part of you knew that his summer in Italy was his rest, and now he was back in London he needed to work. Harry’s work ethic was one of the things you admired most about him, and now you were arguing with him over it.

“Clearly it does matter.” He was stood by the door, keys in his hand, a dark scowl printed on his face.

“It’s fine, just go. Have a good day.” The hurt was evident in your voice, but you didn’t even want Harry to stay now with the atmosphere you’d created.

He hesitated for a moment, torn between wanting to stay and needing to leave. Finally, he sighed and turned to walk out the door without another word. The sound of the door swinging shut behind him echoed through the silent room, leaving you alone in your thoughts.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you sank into the sofa. You’d pushed him away when all you wanted was for him to stay. You knew you’d always come second to his career, he prioritised you over almost everything in his life but his music was so important to him. But once he finished recording, there would be interviews and appearances, then a tour, and then you’d be back here again. It was constant, unrelenting, and if he couldn’t even sacrifice one day for you, how could you expect him to slow down?

—

Harry stood frozen on the other side of the door, still stuck between needing to come back in and wanting to go. It never usually got to this point, one of you would back down before someone got hurt. It wasn’t exactly healthy, but it worked for you. He hated fighting, hated seeing you upset. But he was only now realising that it was usually you that compromised. He knew you well, and for you to actually speak up and ask him to stay despite knowing how important his work is to him? He’d fucked up.

He leaned against the door, his hand gripping the handle tightly as he closed his eyes, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside him. Guilt washed over him as he replayed the conversation in his mind. He knew he needed to find a balance between his work and his relationship, but it was easier said than done.

His hand fell from the door handle as he turned on his heel, dragging his feet away from the house. If he was going to make it right, he needed to be armed with all of your favourite things.

—

Harry replayed the morning in his head the entire time he was out. You’d woken up to his alarm as always, rolling over in his arms to wake him up with soft kisses. “Why do you set alarms if you know you can’t wake up for them?” you laughed, tapping at his nose as his eyes fluttered open. “Because you wake up and I get morning kisses,” he smiled, pulling you tighter to his chest.

He remembered how the morning light hit you at just the right angle, illuminating your puffy eyes and blushed cheeks. He’d caught himself wishing he could have five more minutes in bed with you, time to savour waking up next to his love. But he’d rolled out of bed in the same way as always, slipping out from under you just as you tried to curl your body around his.

You’d followed him to the bathroom silently, lingering in the doorway as you rubbed your tired eyes. “Wish I got to see you more,” you’d mumbled, eyes following his through the mirror. “You see me every day, kitten,” he’d replied, poking his tongue out when he saw you watching. He’d noticed your face fall slightly, a misty kind of sadness replace the natural glint in your eye. He cringed as he thought back, but he’d purposely ignored it to save himself the trouble.

“I see you when I wake up and just before bed,” you’d pouted, eyes glued to your suddenly fidgety hands. “I cant help that right now, pet. You know I can’t,” he’d tried to reason with you, and looking back, Harry thought maybe he was trying to convince himself. “Just a morning or an afternoon at home would be nice. Not even a full day,” you’d told him, voice cracking as you looked back up at him.

“I can’t have this conversation right now,” he’d muttered, kicking at the door until it swung closed in front of you.

And there he was now, heart struck with guilt at the thought of how badly he had neglected you.

—

As he heard your keys jingle outside the door, Harry finished rearranging his purchases across the bed. He gave one final look to the flowers on your windowsill, the beautiful blush pink roses he knew you loved. It was perfect, he just hoped it would be enough.

“Hi darling,” he smiled sheepishly as he walked down the stairs.

“Hi, H,” you replied, brows knitted as you stared at him. “What are you doing?”

“Come,” Harry murmured, reaching out a hand for you to take. You dropped your bag by door and took it, fingers tangling with his as he lead you back to the bedroom.

He stopped outside the bedroom door, pulling you into his arms. “M’sorry,” he whispered into your hair. “Didn’t think about what it’s like for you. I need time with you just as much as you need it w’me.”

“No, I’m sorry,” you told him, cuddling into his chest. “Nothing to be sorry for, pet.”

“Shouldn’t have pushed you like that,” you murmured, eyes closed as you breathed in his musky aftershave.

“Gave me the push I needed. M’not good at taking time off.”

“Don’t have to tell me that,” you laughed, stepping away from him as he turned to open the bedroom door.

“Got you your perfect day,” he smiled, stepping out of the way so you could see his creation.

All your favourite snacks were laid out on the bed, your matching pyjamas folded on the corner. The most beautiful flowers you’d ever seen in your favourite vase on the windowsill, candles lit on your nightstand and a cheesy rom com loaded on the tv.

“You did all of this?” you cooed, a grin spreading across your face as your gaze turned to Harry. He nodded, pulling his t-shirt off.

“Nuh uh,” you swatted his hand away as he reached to pick up the pyjama top. “Only my perfect day if you’re topless,” you smirked, quickly peeling your clothes off to throw the pyjamas on.

You climbed into bed next to Harry, pulling the duvet up to your chin before wrapping your body around his, your head at home on his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, arms wrapped right around you.

“Made a few calls. Gonna start only doing three days at a time in the studio, then three days off,” he whispered, grinning when you immediately whipped round to look at him. “Don’t have to do that for me baby,” you gasped, brows furrowed.

“It’s the right call. Just gonna be longer days but worth it all if it means more time with you,” Harry winked, his hand caressing the curve of your waist.

You shifted upwards, placing a gentle kiss to his lips. “Thank you,” you smiled. “And congratulations.”

Harry returned your kiss, his lips lingering just a second longer than yours had. His touch and his kisses felt like home to you, his smile your lifeblood. “To me? For what?”

“To us. For our first fight,” you giggled, holding out a hand to high-five Harry. He grabbed a hold of your hand, using it to pull you even closer to him, until your faces were only centimetres apart.

“Here’s to our first and last fight,” he whispered, eyes locked on yours. His teeth latched onto your bottom lip as he went in for another kiss, the rocky waves in your stomach turning to butterflies as his tongue moved around yours.

You pulled away after a minute, settling back into his arms with a smile so bright it could have lit up the room.

“Can’t believe we started the day with you thinking your album is more important than me,” you mumbled, a mischievous sparkle in your eye as you tangled your fingers between Harry’s.

“Millions of adoring fans who’d do anything for me versus one woman? I know who I’m picking,” he teased, laughing as you smacked his thigh with your free hand.

“Maybe they were right,” you whispered, peering up at him.

“Hm?”

“About you being an arrogant son of a bitch.”

taglist: @angeldavis777 @softestqueeen @jerseygirlinca @palmettogal508 @drewsephrry @vonnexann @austiebuttbutt @indigo24hughes @peterparkerbae @im-an-overthinker @daphnesutton @loveableidioticweirdo @harryshotpocket @thegrapejuiceblues1982 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @swag13r @ashleighsss @tswiftsgf @chesthairrry @nikkisimps @hannah9921 @lilfreakjez @prettygurl-2009 @s-h-e-l-b-e-e @indierockgirrl @cicicavill7 @harrystylesluverrrr @cohnfusedarling @ell0ra-br3kk3r @stylesfever

[littlefireball]

OK hear me out please but Vampire Yeosang x Human virgin reader? Where yeosamg is actually very sweet and she was surrendered to him as a slave but he doesn't treat her as such but more as a lover and ends up taking her virginity??

oh that's a good idea~thx for your request 😃but sorry im not good at writing something sweet XD Here you go~

ʏꜱ|ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ (ᴍ)

ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ ʏᴇᴏꜱᴀɴɢ x ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ|ᴅʀɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ|ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴᴇᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴀʙᴜꜱᴇ, ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴍᴀʀᴋᴇᴛ|ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴄᴜᴛ ʜᴇʀꜱᴇʟꜰ|ꜰɪɴɢᴇʀɪɴɢ|ᴜɴᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴇx|ʀᴏᴜɢʜ ꜱᴇx

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.2ᴋ

Masterlist

What if vampires want to drink human blood? They could opt to risk being exposed and hunt humans, or, for a more secure approach, purchase slaves from the underground market, although the standard may be spotty. Alternatively, there might be vampires who have forsaken human blood altogether, but Yeosang couldn't. Human blood remained the most palatable, surpassing that of any other creature.

Today marked the fifth time this week that he had come to the underground market. He was still searching for his 'food'. His yearning for control was nonexistent; all he craved was the exquisite taste of blood, nothing more. Thus, when a disgusting man attempted to sell him slaves while referring to them as cute pets, he scoffed.

"Please forgive me, my lord." You knelt on the ground, begging for forgiveness. This is something that happens almost every day, only this time it's not in the private room. "You fucking bitch! Can't even handle such small things?" With a fierce motion, he hurled the glass from his grasp towards your back. The shards erupted into a cascade, leaving your back abruptly stained with crimson. The man's thunderous rebuke and your sweet scent seized Yeosang's focus, revealing you in tears, quivering with emotion.

You did nothing wrong, only rejected to provide a special service to the client. But you were beaten and punished severely for this very reason.

"Useless bitch!Send her to jail!" It was a fate far worse than death, yet you chose to endure it. Opting for a torturous demise would have been a better decision, sparing you from the company of those repulsive men, literally.

As you were on the brink of being whisked away, a figure seized your wrist with an unexpected grip. His skin radiated an unusual chill, starkly contrasting with that of ordinary individuals. Locking eyes with his piercing crimson gaze sent a shiver coursing through you, leaving you with an unsettling sense of foreboding.

You knew he was a vampire.

"Release her." Yeosang said, his voice tingled with a hint of impatience. He found himself puzzled by his own curiosity, but never mind, it wasn't a big deal anyway. "Who are you?Huh?A popinjay?" The man chortled heartily, devoid of any sense of admiration as he gazed upon Yeosang's opulent ensemble. "A man you will regret for angering him forever." The man trembled at the mere sight of Yeosang, no words necessary, as his presence alone exuded power and authority.

"Release her and don't make me twice." Yeosang warned him with a deep voice, making the man swallow hard and not dare to look at him. "Re…release her…"The bindings that held your wrists captive were finally undone, and he delicately lowered your hands, as though he feared causing you any discomfort. "Wrap yourself in this," he instructed, draping the cloak over your shoulders and giving you a reassuring pat. In that moment, he appeared to embody two distinct personas.

"I…I give her to you. How you deal with it is your business." The man turned away without looking back. Although he didn't receive the money, he didn't want any more trouble.

"He leaves and you are free now." Yeosang whispered softly, stirring your heartstring. "Take care of yourself. I gotta go."

Just as he was preparing to depart, you took hold of his icy hand and implored him, "Might I become your slave? I promise to be obedient and fulfill your every desire." Even as a creature of the night, his gentleness was a rarity among humans. You were uncertain if servitude to him was truly a blessing, but it certainly seemed preferable to a lifetime of confinement in this place.

"And would you want my blood…?" You hesitated, bowing your head, uncertain if your inquiry was too forward. "Are you aware of what you speak?" Yeosang crouched down to lift your chin, locking eyes with you. "I…I understand. You are a…vam…vampire," He appeared mildly taken aback, yet swiftly composed himself. "But don't you want to go anywhere?" You shook your head. "There is nowhere. I humbly request to remain by your side."

"Then just follow me if you're not scared." —---- You delicately sliced your wrist with the blade, allowing the crimson liquid to cascade into the crystal goblet. This exquisite feast was meticulously crafted for Yeosang each evening. He never bites you, for fear of causing you harm, and for fear of revealing his identity through visible traces.

"I'm back, Y/N." His voice resonated from a short distance, prompting you to dash towards the door. "Welcome home~" You enveloped him in a warm embrace, a delightful surprise at how eagerly you anticipated his arrival. "How was your day?" You tilted your head to capture the warmth in his affectionate gaze. "Tired." He buried his head in your neck, nuzzling like a kitten. "But I feel better after seeing you." He beamed, tenderly stroking your hair with a loving touch. The alluring scent of your skin never fails to captivate him, prompting him to rub your neck.

"You are exaggerating~I've prepared your dinner." With a grin, you assisted him in removing his attire and ensuring his comfort before making your way to the kitchen to fetch a goblet of blood. "Thank you," he expressed his gratitude with a smile as he indulged in his beverage.

He never regarded you as a mere slave, perhaps one could even argue that he treated you as a companion, or perhaps something even deeper. However, you were hesitant to entertain any further thoughts. Your fondness for him was undeniable, yet his true feelings remained a mystery to you.

After all, you were a slave from the black market, and he was your master. There was a huge gap.

"Why do you look at my face? Is it something there?" His words pulled you back to reality. "Nothing. Just watching some beautiful things." A joyful smile graced his lips, yet he soon pretended to be cold. He would not tell you he loves your praise. But of course, you knew him well.

"Allow me to assist you in getting ready for a bath." As you gracefully rose from your seat, he gently halted your movement with the sound of your name escaping his lips. "Y/N?" "How may I be of service to you?" With a tender touch, he guided you to settle on his lap, causing your eyes to widen in astonishment.

"Just stay with me for a while." Leaning his head against your shoulder, he enveloped you in his arms. Although it was not the initial occurrence of such intimacy between you two, you couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth spreading across your cheeks.

You sensed a weariness that seemed to envelop him. While human blood possesses the power to rejuvenate a vampire's vigor, your own appearance is insufficient. Perhaps he craves something more exquisite, something tantalizingly rich—heart blood. This rare elixir, the most coveted of all, manifests only when a vampire has marked their mate.

"Ma…master?" "Hm?" He murmured, slowly opening his eyes to meet your gaze, even though he was on the brink of slumber. "You mentioned that heart blood can heal a vampire. Would you like to partake of it?" He hesitated, taken aback by your unexpected question. "Yes, but this is not something you can drink just by thinking about it."

"How could I get it?" A smirk played on his lips as he heard your words. "You can't get it because you are not a vampire," "But you could get it…from me."His eyes widened, all drowsiness vanishing in an instant. "It's not kidding, Y/N. Marking hurts and you may not handle it. I don't want to harm─" You wrapped around his shoulder, silencing his words with a kiss.

This move used up all your courage.

"You saved me, and now my life belongs to you." "Won't you regret it?There is no turning back." You shook your head, gently cradling his face. "Never." Upon hearing your declaration, he pounced you onto the sofa. "Tell me if it hurts." He whispered against your lips before claiming you into a passionate kiss.

In truth, he recognized you as his soulmate from the moment your paths crossed. However, he restrained his primal instincts to mark you, for he wished to shield you from any potential harm. The painful recollections lingered in his thoughts, fueling his desire to avenge any who dared to hurt you.

"Mine." His kisses trailed down to your neck and his teeth sank into it, causing blood flow out from the wounds. You hissed at the pain and dug your nails into his nape. "Godness, you are so sweet, honey." You became a mess at his words as it was the first time he called you like this. Yeosang sneaked to your collarbone, dropping a trail of kisses while biting harshly to leave a mark.

His fingers settled under the bands of your panties after he sat up straight, tearing them into a fragment. You gasped at his sudden move, but before you could say anything, his fingers diving for your wet lower core. "Look at you, you're so beautiful." One finger being thrusted in slowly, making you bite your lips because you were not used to it. He pulled out and another finger followed, moving in and out at a slow pace.

"Gosh…" You rolled your hips and your toes curl together, feeling he go faster and deeper each time you let out a soft whimper. Throwing your head on the armrest, your face turned red as if oxygen was out of your lungs. Yeosang leaned down to sink his teeth into your skin again, the pain and the pleasure crushed you at the same time, pushing you into a total messiness.

"C'mon, honey. I know you want to cum, cum for me. Let me see what you've got." Your mouth fell into an 'O' form and a choppy moan left your lips. His fingers pushed upward to scratch your wet wall and hit your soft flesh from time to time, bringing you to the peak. "Ma…Master…!" Before you could form a complete sentence, you squirted all over his forearm and even his thighs.

"I…I apologize." You covered your face with embarrassment. "Don't say sorry, you're doing well." He removed your hand and pecked at your lips. "I just have to prepare you well. Ready for me? Angel." "Yes, yes, please." A smile played on his lips and he took off his pants, exposing himself fully.

Your lips bore the burden of his touch once more, pulled in by an irresistible warmth. His tender kisses, gentle bites, and soft sucking, along with his teasing tongue, led you to willingly follow his lead. Without hesitation, you parted your lips, granting him access to explore every inch.

His delicate touch grazed over your sensitive nerves, sending a shiver down your spine. He caressed your thighs, your derriere, before lifting them and encircling his powerful waist. In silence, he positioned himself at your entrance and entered with a powerful thrust.

A soft gasp escaped your lips, overwhelmed by his impressive size, a wave of satisfaction washing over you, leaving you momentarily breathless. Your head reclined against the sofa's edge and he began to move with a steady rhythm.

You raised your head and let out a soft sigh, your hands gently grasping the back of his head, giving him permission to carry on with his movements. The sensation of soft flesh being hitted made you blush, and your body quivered. Observing this, he playfully intensified his rhythm in that exact spot.

"Ma…master…hmm!" The sounds of pleasure echoed throughout the lavishly decorated bathroom, his passionate movements causing you to gasp in delight. "Oh…my dearest Y/N," Yeosang whispered against your chest, finding where the heart blood is. "Find it." Before you could react, he bit your chest with a great force and you screamed in pain. He pulled you up to settle you on his lap, pushing upward while drinking your blood.

In an unexpected surge, he plunged with fervor, striking precisely at the core of your being. "It hurts!!" "You can take this, Y/N." The exquisite agony enveloped your senses, clouding your awareness and ensnaring your very nerves, rendering you utterly defenseless.

Tears brimmed at the edges of your eyes, your brow knitted in distress, and a heart-wrenching cry escaped your lips, betraying your suffering. Your body quaked, slick with cold perspiration, as your limbs grew increasingly feeble. But he didn't stop, kept colliding with your deepest part without mercy by holding tight your waist.

"Be mine, Y/N." He let out a low, satisfied groan as he reached his peak deep inside you, sealing the bond. Gradually easing his pace, he withdrew from your body. As the bond solidified, Yeosang felt a surge of power, and miraculously, your complexion returned to its natural hue, blemishes vanishing, save for the scar on your chest - a testament to Yeosang's mark.

"Sorry, it hurts." You shook your head before resting on his chest. "I would do anything for you."

"Thank you, Y/N."

"I should be the one who said that. Thank you, master."

"Don't call me Master." Your gaze met again as he lifted your chin. "Call me Yeosang." He pressed his lips against yours with all his love and tenderness.

"I love you, Yeosang."

[bloodlust-1]

Might I make a request for subby Gortash? I want that man on his knees, begging.

-@thewildrover

To answer this, hell yes. Im here for it give me all that freaky mean shit. Let's get into iiitttt!!!

hope you like it @thewildrover !

On His Knees

Gortash x fem Tav — Explicit 18+

Summary: After waking up to find himself bound on his knees, Gortash realizes he is at the mercy of Tav's wrath. However, her anger quickly transforms into seduction as she manipulates him with her charms. Left with nothing but his desire to please her, Gortash is determined to make her his by any means necessary.

T/W: smut! Blood, abuse

Notes: This is a little raunchy so if that's what you're into then by all means ;p he’s subby for the first half

Gortash eyes fluttered open, and he groaned to the throbbing headache and aching joints. He was on his knees, hands and feet bound to a pillar in the center of a dimly lit room.

How the fuck did I get here?

Confused and disoriented, Gortash tried to recall how he got there. The last thing he remembered was the way the alcohol burned his throat at the tavern earlier that day. He must've blacked out.

footsteps echoed around him, and when the figure came closer, Gortash's heart skipped a beat. It was a woman, and a beautiful one at that. She had long dark hair, smooth curves, and a stern expression on her face.

Tav, stood over him, with her eyebrows furrowed. Interesting, he thought she sided with Orin.

"Why am I tied up like this?" Gortash demanded, trying to sound confident and unfazed.

"You are a despicable excuse for a human being, Gortash," Tav spat, her voice filled with disgust. "You have caused so much pain and suffering, and now it's time for you to pay for your crimes."

Gortash couldn't help but laugh at Tav's words. He had always been attracted to strong, powerful women, and Tav was no exception. Seeing her standing there, with her hands on her hips, only made him more excited.

"Is that so?" he teased, dripping with sarcasm. "And what punishment do you have in mind for me, my dear Tav? Are you going to beat me to a pulp?"

Tav rolled her eyes and shook her head. Gods he is such a fucking scoundrel.

"You think this is funny? You think it's amusing to mock me?" Tav snapped, her voice trembling with frustration.

Gortash's laugh died down and a grin tugged at his lips. He continued to ridicule Tav between chuckles. Gortash couldn't help himself. The more she scolded him, the more turned-on he became.

Tav walked towards Gortash, and gripped a handful of his hair, "I heard your plans to get rid of me. How dare you ever try to lay a hand on me and my friends," she said, her voice low and menacing.

Gortash's heart raced as Tav leaned in closer, her face just inches away from his. He could feel her breath on his skin, and it sent shivers down his spine.

Tav clenched her fists and threw a punch at his face, and she continued to mercilessly beat him. Blood streamed down his face, mixing with the sweat that dripped from his forehead.

Gortash could just groan as her fists connected to his face.

Gortash licked his lips and smiled up at Tav. There was a seductive glint in his eyes, a look that sent shivers down Tav's spine. Tav pulled back her raw bloodied fists as she studied his face.

Was he enjoying this?

And there it was, the bulge in his pants.

The frown, the passion in her voice, her eyes, and fuck why did this turn him on so much. Gortash didn't expect Tav to be so beautifully enraged.

Tav smirked, he was just another pathetic sex-driven man. Of course, he's attracted to her, and she decided to use it to her advantage.

"Perhaps I should teach you a lesson in a different way," she whispered, her lips dangerously close to his ear.

Gortash's heart skipped a beat as Tav's words sent a wave of desire through him. The bulge in his pants twitched in anticipation.

As Tav pulled away, Gortash grinned. He had always been a troublemaker, and it seemed like he had finally found someone who could bring up his cock.

"Do your worst, pussy," Gortash scoffed threw the slick of blood that streamed down his face. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Without warning, she lunged forward and pressed her lips against his, tasting the metallic tang of blood mixed with alcohol. Gortash responded eagerly, his hands straining against the ropes that bound him. The sudden ache between her thighs and the thrill of it all clouded her better judgment.

Tav pulled away from the kiss with a sharp gasp, her chest heaving as she caught her breath. She looked down at Gortash, his tired eyes pierced her own. Tav stepped back and circled around him, her hands running over the ropes that bound him.

"I saw your lingering look," Tav's voice echoed off the stone walls. "The longing in your eyes the day we met." Tav paused, her gaze fixed on Gortash's face. She could see the confusion and desire in his eyes as he struggled against the ropes.

His skin started to become raw from his constant tugging.

Tav then put her foot on his shoulder and pushed, forcing Gortash's back to press against the hard pillar. He winced in pain, but his eyes never left Tav's.

"I know you want me," Tav continued, her voice dripping with seduction. "But I also know that you're not the kind of man who gives in easily." She leaned in close, her lips brushing against his ear. "And that's what makes this oh-so painful for you."

Gortash's eyes widened in realization as Tav stepped back, a wicked smile playing on her lips. She began to slowly unbutton her shirt, revealing more and more of her smooth skin with each button. Gortash's eyes followed every move, his heart racing with frustration.

"Fuck, show me more..." He whispered threateningly under her watch. “I want to ruin you.”

"You see, Gortash," Tav said, her voice low and sultry. "I have a proposition for you." She leaned in close once again, her lips just inches away from his. "If you can escape from these ropes," Her finger trailed along the rope that bound him. "Then I'll give myself to you willingly."

He struggled against the ropes. Tav's words were like a challenge, and he was determined to prove himself worthy. But the constant pulling only damaged his skin more.

"Well isn't this just unfair circumstances for me. I respect that." Gortash huffed out in annoyance. No way could he unbound himself but how could he be mad at her? Dirty games were his forte.

Her shirt was just barely showing her bare chest.

"You're just begging me to fuck you." Gortash scoffed with hearts practically in his eyes. “Please just — fuck. Let me loose.”

Tav had already stepped back, a playful smile on her face. "Looks like you'll have to try harder," she teased, tossing a small pocket knife at his knees, "You'll manage to get yourself out of this mess." She finally turned to walk away.

"Tav?"

Her footsteps echoed away and Gortash kept calling out Tav's name even adding in a 'Please'. Which was something he never did.

Gortash could only watch in frustration as Tav disappeared into the darkness, leaving him tied up. But a smile spread across his face and he realized that this was just the beginning of this dangerous and thrilling game.

~

Tav was out and about in town on her own. She wanted to shop for new clothes until she felt someone's hand wrap around her mouth. She was pulled into an ally and the Steel Watchers conveniently guarded the entrance, blocking anyone in.

She struggled against her attacker, but his grip was too powerful.

To her surprise, it was Gortash, pinning her body against the ally's brick wall.

Gortash's arms wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her in place.

"You play quite the game, my dear," Gortash said, his breath hot against her neck. "And I finally have you now."

"Took you long enough, Lord Gortash." Tav mocked his name with a chuckle. Her heart raced under his hold but the excitement of challenging him was too fun.

Before she could say anything, Gortash's lips were on hers, kissing her roughly. His grip on her was strong and commanding. As he deepened the kiss, his hands roamed over Tav's body, sending shivers down her spine.

"You're mine now," Gortash growled against her lips. Tav's heart skipped a beat at his possessive words. She couldn't deny how sexy she found him in that low-cut shirt. His hands gripped her tits and ass.

Suddenly, Gortash's lips left hers and he moved down to her neck, kissing and biting her skin. Tav winced at the sharp pain, but couldn't deny moaning in pleasure. Fear and excitement coursed through her veins while Gortash continued to bruise her neck with his bites.

"You like that, don't you?" Gortash asked, his voice low and seductive. Tav could only nod in response, unable to form words as Gortash's lips and teeth continued to leave their mark on her.

Tav knew the consequences fucking Gortash but she couldn't escape his touch now. Not when she replayed their last encounter over In her head. It was so hard walking away from him that day and not fuck him.

Gortash was in Tav's head and she was in his.

Gortash reached down and unbuckled his belt, the sound of the metal clinking echoing in the ally. Tav's heart pounded in her chest and she watched him pull down his pants, revealing his thick, muscular thighs and large, erect cock.

Immediately Tav's face grew hot with intimidation by Gortash's size. Her mouth practically watered from the way it twitched every time he touched her.

Gortash turned to Tav and roughly grabbed her by the waist, pulling her closer to him. He tugged down her pants, exposing her bare skin in such a public place. Tav could feel her cheeks flush with embarrassment, but she wanted this as much as he did.

Without any warning or preparation, Gortash placed his tip on the entrance of Tav's core. He pushed himself into Tav, causing her to wince in pain. She could feel his girth stretching her, and she could barely contain a whimper.

"God, you're so tight," Gortash growled.

Gortash didn't care about Tav's discomfort. He grabbed her hips, pushed her back against the wall, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

With a firm grip, Gortash began to thrust into her with a force that made her head spin. Tav could feel the roughness of his skin against hers, and she moaned out as her arms wrapped around his neck.

Tav felt herself getting lost in his forceful pumps. Gortash's rough thrusts sent waves of pleasure through her body, and she surrendered to it.

"You're mine now, Tav. Mine to do whatever I want with." He snarled, his grip on her hips tightening.

"N-nghh, fuck - y-yes-" Tav hazily agreed, completely lost in the way he pumped in and out of her.

Fuck why was she even agreeing with him?

Gortash's movements became more and more forceful, and Tav could feel herself getting closer to the edge. Just as Tav let out a breathy yelp, his lips muffled over hers.

He snaked his tongue into her mouth and tasted every inch of her tongue in desperation. Their mouths harshly clashed with each other in a messy kiss.

Gortash groaned in pleasure, and she knew he was reaching his climax from the heat that exuded off his cock inside her.

With one final thrust, Gortash released himself inside of Tav, and she could feel the warmth of his seed filling her.

Tav collapsed onto his shoulders, breathing heavily as Gortash pulled out of her.

Tav held onto his body, exhausted and satisfied, and he slowly brought her down to her feet. His skin was dampened with their mixed sweat.

He leaned down and placed a rough kiss on Tav's forehead before whispering, "You are spared for now, but I expect you to come visit me at the palace."

Tav felt both terrified and excited for what was to come.

Any Thoughts? Comment 👇🏼 I love to engage!

I want him so bad.

[lillyspeakz]

Wilbur gets annoyed at you so he bends you over his lap and spanks you? 👀

GUYS PLEASE DOM WILBUR IM A WHORE FOR HIM- I changed the prompt a bit to make it make more sense…

-

“Wil, please- i didn’t mean to, I’m sorry!”

“Save it. You finish what you started yeah? And you decided to flirt with another person for fun because I didn’t give you attention when wanted? Fucking bullshit.” Wil said as he opened the apartment door and pushed it open for you to walk in first, being pushed against the wall as he slammed the door shut.

A hand wrapped around your throat as his lips slammed against yours, moving with yours in vigor and want. He wanted to make sure you knew who you belonged too. Wanted to make sure you had his kiss imprinted onto your lips.

Wilbur’s knee came in between your legs as he slot it perfectly with your core, a whine being heard from your throat as he pressed slightly harder, hand gripping your neck a little tighter.

Before anything else could happen, he pulled away and forced your chin closer to his face. “You know better baby, I know you do. Go to our room and sit on the bed until I saw otherwise.”

After the sentence was declared, you quickly took off your shoes and rushed to the bedroom, making yourself comfortable as you waited for him, nervous of what was going to happen.

As the door creaked open, you shot your head up as you saw Wilbur walk in, his coat off as he rolled up his sleeves to his elbows. Biting your lips, you squeezed your thighs together, loving how powerful he looked above you. The effect he had on you would be viewed as insane to other people but to you it’s was perfect. He could make you lose your mind to the simplest things, and you both enjoyed it.

As he made his way over to you, he sat next to you, patting his lap. Confused, you got on your knees and started to straddle his hips, quickly getting a small slap to the thigh and a hum in disappointment as you made the incorrect maneuver. Understanding what he wanted, you hesitantly got off his lap and started to bend over it, being pushed the rest of the way by Wilbur. He placed a hand on your lower back and one that collected your wrist in his. Your face was buried in the mattress as you waited for the inevitable consequence.

“You could’ve been good baby, would’ve made you cum so many times tonight to satisfy you for a month. But apparently that wasn’t enough. Such a fucking slut. Always needing more than what your promised.” Wilbur gently rubbed your pulse point on your wrist, making sure you were ok with this, earning a squeeze from you on his wrist, and easing his worry.

“‘M sorry, didn’t mean it. Just wanted you to look at me.” You whispered to him as you squirmed in his lap, earning a quick slap to your inner thigh, making your squeal.

“Well now I’m here baby, but not in the way you you wanted yeah?” As you shook your head Wilbur sighed as he started to rub your covered core, earning a whine from you. “What do bad baby’s get?”

“Punished, but Wil I didn’t-“

“Whether you meant it or not, you still did it baby. And I can’t have other guys thinking they can have you. Let alone let you think you can go off and talk to other guys like that, darling. Now what I want you to do, is I want you to apologize to me every time I spank you, yeah baby?” Nodding your head, you let out a welp as Wil slapped your ass, shaking his head. “Words baby.”

“Yes Wil.”

“Good job baby.” Wil said as he started to shuffle your pants down your legs, leaving you in just your underwear to cover yourself, get that didn’t do anything for you either.

As you waited patiently, a strong sting was sent through your body as Wilbur spanned you once again, a whimper leaving your mouth as you let out a weak apology. Wilbur took his hand off your ass as he pulled your hair to lift your face off the mattress. “Louder.”

“I’m sorry Wil.” You whined out as he smirked, letting go of your hair, making your head go limp yet again in the mattress.

The spanking and apologies went on and on until your ass was cherry red and drool left your lips and your core. Wilbur softly massaged your ass, rubbing and making sure you were ok.

“Did so good baby, so good. My perfect baby. I didn’t hurt you right?” Wilbur asked you as he cradled you in his arms as your brain caught up with your body.

You slowly nodded, yet saw Wilbur’s head tilt, knowing what he wanted. “I’m fine, especially with you.”

Wilbur smiled down at you as he massaged your body and kissed your face, praising you and saying little nothings in your ear.

“My precious baby. Did so good. Thank you for trusting me.” Wil said as he helped you undress and place one of his sweaters over your head.

“Thank you for loving me.” You whispered back, cuddling into him.

“Always baby. I will always love you.” Wil confessed as you smiled up at him. As you both settled down on the bed, you noticed Wilbur’s boner straining against his jeans, smirking as you slowly placed your hand over it, earning a groan from the man above you.

“Need help?” You asked innocently as you got up and straddled his lap once again, this time earning a satisfied groan as you started to grind down against his member.

“Wanna be buried in that tight hole of yours, so yes please.”

[pacifymebby]

Peaky boys and reader who teases them all day and then gets a portion of flip flops or rough fuck.

My morning starts with me going to your profile and watching updates. And my heart blazes when I see that something has come out. You're great!! 🖤

Ohhhh lovely what a sweet little message! Im sorry i know u sent this ages ago but im only just getting round to it now!! I’m so so sorry its taken me so long. I hope you'll like these <3

Tommy

🌿 Not a forgiving man. At all. He can hold a grudge and he does not appreciate being teased... 

🌿 Especially not when he’s told you 100 times that he's busy, that he’s got a lot of work he should be focussing on, yet you still insist upon visiting him in his office, sitting yourself down on his desk so that he has no choice but to focus on you and not the work in question. 

🌿 When he asks what you’re doing and you can hear the impatience in his voice so you open your legs slowly to show him you aren’t wearing any underwear, he struggles to hold back his temper... he can’t believe you’re really messing with him right now...

🌿 He also can’t believe he’s managing to resist you right now. 

🌿 Sending you away is the last thing he wants to do but he does, his hands firm on your knees as he pushes your legs back together and refuses to show you how much he wants you. 

🌿 If this is the game you want to play and you really think you can push your luck teasing him, then he’s going to tease you back twice as hard.

🌿 He’d lure you in, bringing you so close to him, then he’s whisper something incredibly dirty in your ear. He’d tell you to go home, go to your room, undress and wait for him, he'd promise you he wouldn’t be long

🌿 “If I come home and you have so much as a sock on you’ll be in trouble and not the kind you’re hoping for angel...”

🌿 And then he’d make you wait ALL day as punishment so that you weren’t sure whether he’d forgotten about you or not. 

🌿 But trust me when he does get home you’re in for the roughest fuck of your life. He’s going to exhaust you so that you’ll know never to interrupt him and tease him again. 

Alfie

🐻 Loves winding you up more than he cares to admit. In fact, the more he can tell you want him the more he wants to tease you. 

🐻 He knows you so well that he can tell just from the smallest change in your demeanour that you’re pining for him... and he will use that against you. 

🐻When he notices out the corner of his eye that you’ve dropped something on the floor on purpose so that you can bend down and give him a view to remember, he will make sure not to let you catch him looking, in fact he’ll make a show of busying himself somewhere else so that you know he really isn’t bothered by your efforts. 

🐻He can keep this up all day... if you want him, you’re going to have to straight up beg him because he will purposefully ignore all your hints and subtleties just to torture you

🐻And if you don’t give up and start begging he will basically corner you into admitting to your tricks. 

🐻 “Are you alright there poppet? You look like you want to tell me something... yeah actually, you haven’t stopped giving me those eyes all day... why don’t you come here yeah...”

🐻He’ll let you think for a moment that you’re finally going to get what you want but that isn’t how this is going to work. He’s going to tease and tease and tease. 

🐻He’d turn his chair, pull it away from his desk and towards you, “Come on then darlin, come sit here in your old mans lap, talk to me yeah... don’t just float around my office giving me them eyes... you never know, I might be able to help...eh?”

🐻He’d make you sit in his lap, make you balance with your legs either side of one of his thighs and he’d make sure to apply just enough pressure making you squirm in his lap as he spoke to you. Then he’d draw it out, he’d have his hands on your waist and hips holding you still and in place, smirking at you, knowing he’s stopping you from being able to rub yourself on his thigh. “Now then poppet, why don’t you tell me what's going on... what you looking at me with those sad little eyes for... what do you want?” 

🐻He’d be trailing his fingers over your skin, the cool metallic touch of his rings leaving goosebumps wherever they went. 

🐻 He won’t let you go until you’ve admitted to what you want, and even then, he’d just lean back in his chair and tell you to show him how badly you wanted it, he’d make you get off grinding on his thigh, or have you sit on his desk and touch yourself, the whole time all you want is for him to touch you. 

🐻 Might give you what you want if you put on a good enough show, but the chances are he’s going to make you edge yourself for a very long time before he decides you’ve earned a spoiling. 

Arthur

🍂 You don’t really believe you’d get the chance to tease him?

🍂 Seriously, the first attempt at teasing him and he’s going to flip you over his desk and fuck you till your mind is blank and hazy. 

🍂 He might seem on board with at first, he might laugh when you sit in his lap and grind on him before getting up, trying to leave him with a hard on and no satisfaction... but he isn’t going to let you go and you know it. 

🍂 “where do you think you’re going darlin... get back here...”

🍂 If you don’t do as you’re told you can expect him to respond with force, getting up and following you out of his office, picking you up and slinging you over his shoulder, carrying you back and throwing you down onto his desk ready to teach you a lesson. 

🍂 “You want to play games do you darlin, you thought you’d come down here and try to tease your Arthur did you? Well love, that ain't how this is gonna work...” 

🍂 He’ll fuck you, hard fast and rough, fucking you from behind and spanking you, bending over you so that he can growl in your ear, so many degrading things. 

🍂 “Wanted to try and be a little slut did you, wanted to play at being a fucking whore well I’ll make a whore out of you yet love, I’ll make you a fucking good whore...” 

🍂 Won’t be quiet about it and will definitely use the racket you’re making to further your humiliation and punish you for misbehaving. He’ll remind you that everyone can hear you making all this noise, that everyone will know now how much of a little whore you are. 

John

🌼 He can’t lie, he likes it when you try and tease him, in fact he loves it when you try to tease him. He likes all the effort you go to, he thinks its cue how desperate for his attention you are. He will ignore you at first just to make you work even harder

🌼 And, he’s a bastard about it, because he loves to tease you right back. Every time you make a move and try to tease him he’ll out manoeuvre you, luring you in, making you think he’s falling for your tricks and then just when you think you’ve won hell make his move, trick you into letting out a little moan for him when he slips his fingers between your legs and catches you out, or when he drags his teeth over the sensitive place on your neck only to push you away and pretend he’s hardly noticed you at all. 

🌼 He will do it all day and what's worse, he’ll laugh at you. The more sexually frustrated you get the more he’ll tease and laugh because it’s so entertaining to him seeing you get flustered and frustrated and needy for him. 

🌼 He doesn’t know why you always fall for his tricks either, you’d think a clever girl like you would know the fifth time he tells you to come sit in his lap and tell him what you want, that you’d tell him to fuck off. That you’d know he was only going to kiss your nose and smirk like a teenager saying something like “too bad sunbeam, that ain’t gonna happen...” and yet somehow he manages to dangle just enough hope in front of you that you fall for it every time. 

🌼He’ll keep it up until you’re all teary eyed and sulky, until you genuinely look a little bit like you can’t take his teasing anymore. But before you get what you want he’ll have you on your knees beneath his desk looking up at him with wide doe eyes, telling him you’re sorry for being a tease and begging him to let you get what you want. 

Bonnie

🍀 He's just as impatient as Arthur and he doesn’t like playing games however, he won’t respond at all like the Shelby because a) he isn’t about to lose his temper over sex and b) he would be worried about scaring you or being too aggressive with you

🍀 Also he knows what you’re like, he understands this game you like to play and he knows that if he’s patient and bides his time then he’ll get everything he wants and more. 

🍀 He won’t really let you tease him though, at least he won’t let you frustrate him. He’ll enjoy how tactile you are with him and of course he’ll let his eyes linger on you when you walk with those swaying hips or you let the collar of your blouse slip down to reveal your shoulder. 

🍀 He’ll let you inspire that possessive nature he has when it comes to you, he’ll let you wind him up and up and up until he’s about to snap and then when he’s really riled up he’ll steal you away somewhere the two of you can be alone. 

🍀 There’ll be no words at first, just his body trapping you between him and the wall, his lips on yours his tongue pushing its way into your mouth, teeth colliding, biting your bottom lip. 

🍀 He’d be just as desperate for you as you are him and he’d definitely take control, fucking you against the wall one hand on your hip the other on your throat. 

🍀 He’d be so soft dom! about it, getting as close to you as he possibly can, holding your wrists above your head with one hand, making you look into his eyes the whole time, telling you not to close your eyes, talking you through your high with little demands and lots of praise. 

🍀 If anything he’s rewarding you for being such a little tease. 

🍀 The one thing which would potentially have him snap would be if in order to tease him you tried to flirt with another man, or you ignored Bonnie in favour of talking to other men, even if you weren’t flirting with them. That would bring out his competitive side and his jealous streak and then you’d really be in for it. He’d fuck you hard until you could hardly think anymore all the while telling you that you’re his girl, you belong to him. Asking you who you belong to, making you say it and then forcing you to quiet with his fingers or tongue in your mouth.

🍀 Overstimulates you as "punishment" he'll keep making you cum over and over, not letting youbrest, watching as your eyes roll back and your body shakes. He loves watching you loose control and exhaust yourself cumming for him and when you're sobbing and mumbling all tired and fucked out that it feels "too good" he'll talk so soft and sweet to you, "good girl, just one more baby you can take it, i know you can, just one more for me little dove,"

Isaiah

🐀Doesn’t like being teased by you, you’re his girl and he wants you to be obedient and respectful. 

🐀 That being said he loves it when you show him how much you want him, how desperate for his attention you are. He knows that because you’re desperate for him you will do whatever he tells you and he loves the control over you he has

🐀 So if you’re being particularly naughty that day, trying to distract him, or trying to flirt with other people in front of him to draw his attention, he will snatch your wrist and take you to the bedroom where he will command you down onto your knees, deep throat fuck you until you’ve tears running down your cheeks. 

🐀 But here's the thing, once he’s cum he’s going to coax you back up to his level, he’s going to let you think that he’s about to take pity on you and reward you for being so good for him and then

🐀 he’s going to sit down, pour himself a glass of whiskey, and have you climb into his lap, sit on his cock... when you’re expecting him to fuck you he’ll just smirk and shrug. 

🐀 “Not just now eh love, someones got to teach you to be patient,” and then he’ll have you cockwarm him indefinitely. He’ll sit there with you balanced on his cock, forcing you to feel him going soft inside you, making you squirm and holding you still so that you can’t grind against him or get any satisfaction yourself... you’ll have to sit there being very still and well behaved even when you feel him getting hard again... every now and then just as you’re beginning to settle down in his lap he’ll twitch inside you and wake you right back up again

🐀 Then finally he’ll ask you whether you’re sorry, make you promise to be a good girl from now on. He won’t let you cum though, he’ll just say something like “maybe next time sweetheart,” and then leave you on your own to teach you a lesson. 

🐀 He'd better not come back to find you trying to satisfy yourself or there will be serious trouble

Michael

☘️ Doesn’t like to be denied anything because he’s lowkey spoiled and entitled. If you try to tease him he’ll be like... “the audacity :o” and he won’t know what to do.... at first

☘️  He’ll be pretty quick to think up a way to punish you, the whole plan being to make sure you know never to try and tease him again

☘️ At first he’d straight up ignore you, at least he’d try to, he isn’t very good at hiding the way he feels and his frustration would be so clear on his face and in his demeanour. So you would know you were winning. 

☘️ Then he’s start his assault on you, subtle at first, little caresses and touches, double meanings when he whispers something dirty in your ear. 

☘️  It won’t matter whether you’re alone or in a room full of other people, his tactics will be the same

☘️  He’d slide his hand up your skirt slowly, really slowly, maybe making it a little further up every time he tried it, before dragging it away and pretending as if he hadn’t done a thing. 

☘️ He’d have you sitting beside him, opposite Tommy Shelby, forcing you to try and keep quiet when his fingers have slipped between your thighs and are stroking over the lace of your underwear.

☘️  he has so many little tricks to build you up and up and up only to deny you satisfaction every single time. Each time he tries something its more intense and yet still with no reward.

☘️  By the end of the day you don’t know what to do with yourself, you’re up and down so much you’re exhausted, your poor heart and clit cannot take much more of these acrobatics. 

☘️ He will not let you sleep, once you’re in bed together thats when his fun and your punishment really begins. He’ll keep bringing you up, taking you so close to your high only to pull away and give you nothing, leaving you begging for him to let you cum. 

☘️ He’ll edge you like that until you’re crying and begging for him to stop but like Isaiah he won’t let you cum, he’ll make you suck his dick and have you apologise for being a little tease and then afterwards he’ll ask you whether you’ve learnt your lesson. 

☘️ “Are you going to try all that nonsense again y/n or do you think you’ve learned your lesson now?”

[heavenlyfay3]

Workplace grievance

By Sawyer-summary: you haven’t been doing your best at work and get a “scolding” by your bosses bosses boss the ceo Mr. O’Hara

miguel x reader

warnings:smut, p in v, dubcon, spanking, power dynamic!!

You’ve been messing up at work and by “messing up” you mean fucking up your reputation and acting as if you don’t want a job at all. you’ve been making careless mistakes, arriving late, slacking off, yesterday you even yelled at a highly valued client. it’s not like you were trying to get fired you just haven’t been in the mood to deal with anyone and that’s basically what your job is dealing with people. Today you got called to your manager’s office immediately after you sat down at your desk knowing exactly what you were in for.

“I can’t let stuff like this slide y/n we almost lost a client!” your manager yelled at you

“I know I know and I’m sorry I promise it won’t happen again,” you said pleading to keep your job

“yea well sadly for you it’s out of my hands,” he says sitting down with a tired look on his face

“What do you mean out of your hands?” you ask confused

“you have to go speak with Mr O’Hara y/n” your manager said with a sympathetic look on his face

you’d never met the CEO of the company you figured he was like a unicorn or something that only allowed you to see it when it wanted. you’d only heard rumors about him no one was dumb enough to fuck up to the point where they had to go talk to him

you were in the elevator that opened directly to his secretary’s desk and then to his office you were nervous your whole body was shaking thinking about all the things that could go wrong about how you were definitely getting fired and never getting a job again becoming homeless begging on the streets like Squidward in that episode of SpongeBob.

the elevator doors opened and you immediately felt like you were gonna throw up your breakfast you looked to his secretary for some kind of hope or reassurance and all she said was “Through the brown doors honey” With a dead grin on her face you stepped out of the elevator and walked towards the doors saying thanks to his secretary you stood in front of his doors for about a minute before finally working up the courage to knock

“Come in” you heard his voice and it sent shivers through your body you took a deep breath opened the door and walked “Mr.O’Hara?” you said in the smallest voice afraid to make too much noise

he didn’t say a word just pointed to the chair in front of his desk telling you to take a sit and you did that immediately “You understand why you’re here right?” he said in a stern voice

“yes, yes sir but I-“ he stops your words “you know yelling at that client was over the line don’t you?”

“yes, Mr. O’Hara I do I’ve just been under a lot of stress, and im so so sorry please forgive me!”

“I can do that. but punishment is due, y/n” he says looking a Your breasts through the three buttons you lefts open on your blouse“Yes I understand I'll go clear out my desk,” you say slowly getting up from your chair tears filling your eyes

“Why are you doing that?” he asked. You turned back at him confused “Come here next to me” you do as he says standing next to the chair that he sits at behind his desk anticipating his next move

He immediately pulls you over his lap by your arm you’re not even able to protest or get a word out because as soon as your torso hits his thighs he’s lifting your skirt above your ass

A look of shock crosses your face as you feel yourself being pulled across his lap and him lifting your skirt. he moves your panties between your cheeks and places his palm flat on one cheek

“or would you rather lose your job?” he asks in a time that makes you melt “No sir i-i want to keep my job,” you say not exactly prepared for whats about to happen but exited nonetheless “I thought so”

You gulp, your body shaking as you feel his hand on your bare ass cheek. you can hardly believe what's happening, but your mind is a mess and if you resisted you would lose your job and it’s not like you wanted to resist anyway.

while in your thoughts he slapped your ass hard. Your body jolts on his lap the feeling sending a heat radiating through your body to your surprise a loud gasp more like a moan left your mouth.

“This is what happens when you don’t do you job” he says slapping your ass again on the same cheek “you think girls that do their jobs correctly get punished like this?” he says slapping it again “n-no sir” the slaps hit harder and harder each time sending heat to your core making you soaking wet you let out moans you never even knew you could make.

He gives your ass another slap before looking down at your wet cunt “Are you wet right now, love?” embarrassed by the mess you made of yourself you stay silent hoping he’ll just ignore it.

He slaps your ass again and you let out a soft moan again his fingers start touching your wet pussy and he pushes your soaked panties to the side revealing the puffy lips of your pussy begging to be fucked. You let out a surprised gasp When he does this your breath shallows and your heart starts raising

he pushes his middle finger in your hole and uses his other hand to slap your ass again “Don’t pretend you don’t like it, baby” he says with a sly grin on his face looking down at you. Your body tenses at this new feeling of his finger inside you

He adds another finger and starts pumping them in and out of you at a slow pace teasing and antagonizing you and making you squirm in frustration “You’re being such a good girl for me now Why couldn’t you do that before huh?” his words alone do something to you making you feel butterflies in your stomach. You cover your mouth to try and suppress the filthy moans coming from your mouth

He takes both fingers out and starts slapping your pussy lightly your moans only start to get louder as your entire body starts shaking as you feel a wave of pleasure building up inside you. Your eyes are glistening with excitement and pleasure. your breathing coming in gasps as you try to fight back the urge to beg for more “oh god…please”

“Stand up and bend over my desk baby” he says taking both hands away from your body as soon as he tells you what to do you stand up and bend over his desk. He stands up behind you and presses his bulge into you so you can feel how hard his huge cock is “ See what you do to me?”

A small moan leaves your mouth as you feel him pressing into your swollen lips. You feel a cool breeze and hear him unbuckle the belt of his pants and just as you hear that his hard cock is pressing into your hole. “Fuuuck your tight” you can barely think, your entire world reduced to the sensation of his thick member invading your tight pussy. You can feel every inch of him as it slides in and out of you, your body shuddering uncontrollably as the wave of pleasure grows stronger.

He sucks air through his teeth and sighs right after from how good you feel “God i might give you a promotion for this pussy!”

you try to hold back your slutty moans, but it’s difficult to contain your excitement as you feel his hard cock sliding back and forth inside you. You gasp loudly as another wave of intense pleasure rolls through you, your whole body shaking as you feel yourself getting close to climaxing.

He starts fucking you hard into his desk pushing you against it “yea that’s right baby cum on my cock” he says groaning with each thrust

At this point, you can't suppress the slutty moans coming from your mouth as your body starts to tremble your hands clutching at the edge of his desk as you begin to lose control. The feeling of being filled by his cock pushes you over the edge as you scream out loud “Fuck, Mr.O’Hara!” your juices gushing out around his cock as you cum

“Fuck baby good job!” he doesn’t let up after you cum fucking you even harder you try to catch your breath as you feel him fucking you even harder, his cock slamming into your sensitive flesh over and over again. You can barely hold onto the edge of his desk as you try to keep up with his pace, your legs shaking uncontrollably as the pleasure grows stronger.

He cums inside you as he grips your hips digging his thumbs into your back and his thrusts become slow and deep hitting all the right spots “Oh my god that’s so good!”

your eyes roll back in your head as you moan loudly, your pussy tightening down on his shaft as you orgasm once more. your body shaking wildly as you cum again, your juices spill all over his desk and you struggle to stay conscious.

“Shit baby!” he says slapping your ass one last time you pants heavily, your body limp as you try to catch your breath. you feel a slight pain in your ass as he slaps you one last time, but you can’t help but smile as you think about how good that just felt. you turn and lie on your back to look up at him, your eyes filled with lust as you reach down to touch your sore cum-filled pussy

“Who said you could touch your pussy?” He says grabbing your face and pulling you up so you can lean back on your hands “Sorry sir” you say looking up at him with lust filled eyes telling him you want more

“Tell me what you want y/n,”

a/n:Ending it here cuz i don’t want it to be too long and i might do a part 2 if it doesn’t flop

[vampyuii]

Punished well -------------------------------

Koby x pirate!reader

porn w plot ... light bdsm, teasing, hair pulling, possessive koby (if you squint) afab!reader, ripping of clothing, implied over stimulation, thigh riding + koby is trans

gained pirate reader as inspo from @tinfairies , im just juicing out an anon i sent to them but please please pleeease check them out, luv dem sm

----------------------------18+----------------------------

you are responsible for the media you consume ( `-3-)

sneaking into a navy base was never hard, but trying not to wake Koby as you entered his room was the worst, watching as he slept, glasses on the side of his pillow leaving to show his pretty lashes, wearing a baggy white t-shirt ever so slightly rolled up so you can see his v-line, his thin blanket covering his lower body as he laid under it with only his boxers hiding away his most private and delicate parts. drool filled your mouth by just thinking of pouncing on him and giving him the attention he so so needed, but that would ruin his surprise... wouldn't it?

beautiful baby pink laced panties hugged you, a small bow sitting at the front of them bringing out your curves so nicely. you knew Koby would love them, maybe he'd get to keep them with the other pairs you've hidden in his pockets on your encounters, but only if he behaved. Greedy boys don't get rewarded, Koby knew that full well.

slipping off your shorts you slowly crawled over his stature, slowly wiggling your way under his sheet. You watched his facial expressions as you placed small pepper kisses all over his stomach, moving up to his neck and then his jaw. Slowly his eyes lightened and let him see, reaching for his glasses as he felt a pair of familiar lips grace him all over.

"mmnh..? oh..? OH! Y/N you're here oh my.. oh my god i missed you so much you have no idea-" cutting himself off by giving the love he missed the most a deep kiss "I said I'd be back.." a once simple kiss getting heated in the moment, but I mean who can blame you both. Finally touching his skin without worry of waking him, your hands roamed every curve and dip in his body. Koby couldn't help but moan at your touch, feeling him grind his thighs together from under you make you hungry. lifting yourself up off of his lap you showed off your pretty laced panties. His eyes widened, cheeks becoming flushed and his lip goes to get trapped between his teeth. "baby.. i missed you so much ya' know that r-right?" snaking his hands around your hips pulling you up to his face.

Pepper kisses were bombed over your thighs, sucking and nibbling on your plush skin made the space between his thigh soak with his own slick. Not trying to waste anymore time his pace quickened as he rolled you over to your back, fingers slipping under the thin cloth blocking him from your sweet honey covered cunt. "m' sorry.. i just- i need you."

The panties you wore made it difficult to touch you, poor baby had no other choice... could you really blame him for ripping the baby pink undies off of you? Koby groaned at the sight of you, dipping his head between your thighs before being stopped so quickly.

"koby, my sweet baby."

"y-yes..?"

"whatcha do that for my love?" he could tell he fucked himself over. the look in your eyes now harsh compared to the dripping of your plush pussy.

"i.. i ju- im sorry i just couldn't.. i needed to-"

"you didn't need to do anything, you got too greedy 'oby." pulling him to meet you face to face by his hair, his glasses fogged up from him panting like a stupid dog. giving him a small peck on the lips before getting up from your spot, and taking out his worn down laces from his shoes. Koby looked so lost, poor baby just wanted to make his love feel good, he just wanted to make his pirate feel amazing.

crawling back over him, you harshly grabbed his wrists and began tying them to the frame of his twin sized bed. eyes darting all over the place Koby was worried... what did he do wrong? why was he being punished? slipping off his boxers you watching a line of his own slick stick to his cloth, his poor cunt was just begging for you, it was drooling over you.

"you know i dont like greedy boys Koby.." blowing a bit of cool air over his soaked pussy, making him shudder under you. "please i- what.. im sorry just, no just let me go pleas- please baby.." grinding his hips into nothing, you backed away to the other side of the bed, slipping your finger between your folds making SURE Koby was watching your every move.

“Please I’m- I won’t do it again I promise, just ple-please let me go..” he can’t stand watching your fingers dip in and out of yourself, he needs it to be his fingers. But greedy boys don’t get what they want. and he’s gotta learn that the hard way..

you tried touching yourself the way your baby boy did, even though it didn't feel as euphoric as it did with him, you made sure he knew he fucked up. Punishing Koby was your least favorite thing, not only were you punishing him but yourself as well.. you could never reach the spot his perfect slim fingers did, the way his thumb would trace over your clit in between the kisses and sucks he'd give it.

“why should I koby?” spoken in a groan, your clit was aching for Koby, you both knew that. But he can’t get what he wants.. no, what he needs, because he doesn’t deserve it right now. Good boys learn how to behave. Even if it meant playing with yourself in front of him.

“mommy please.. I'll make you feel so good, you- fuck... you can use me however you want.. just- untie me.” he didn’t mean to rip off your new pretty panties, he didn’t know they were his gift from you , he was just so so hungry for you, but you knew that.. right? Rubbing his thighs together trying to get some sort of relief off of his enlarged clit, pretty baby was so wet, and all for you.. “Need you so bad baby please”

Moaning out his name you just couldn't take it anymore. Koby would have to fully learn his lesson another time, right now you needed him. finally giving in you hurried back over to him, quickly dragging your soaked cunt across his thigh while smashing your lips against his. Your warm breasts sat comfortably against his chest. Humping and grinding on his thighs as he let the most erotic whines and moans into your throat.

Bouncing his thigh to the rhythm of your hips you could feel the hot knot twist and turn in your tummy "k-kobyy... cant oh- my god" both of your tongues making messes of each other while the knot in your stomach unfolded, shaking heavily you came undone. Koby slowed the bounce of his thigh he watched you go through your first orgasm.

hands slowly moving from his hips you removed the laces around his wrists, Koby didn’t waste any time, gently moving you on your back while his soft slender hands roamed your body as his mouth find its way to your pussy.

"Missed you so much mommy..." He didn’t care how drenched he was anymore "fuck... I missed this pussy so much.." he needed you.

As his tongue touched your gooey flesh, you knew tonight wasn't gonna be over quickly..

Your baby was gonna make sure you ended tonight content and happy. He was gonna make sure you ended tonight covered in his markings. Koby was gonna make sure you felt just as good as the firsts.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

praxeus. episode of all time. yaz episode of all time. radiating self-assurance, showing off all the things shes learnt, wanting the doctor to see how good she is at this. at playing doctor and loving it. relishing having the keys to all places, having Secret Knowledge of Alien Things that she is in no way about to share with either jake or gabriela because where would be the rush of power in that?

jake, the (ex-)copper on a sabbatical. "except i dont go telling people im police!" give it a year or two love and youre using this (ex-)title on each of your self-found companions. which youre practicing now for with gabriela, pretty girl to forcefully introduce to her very first alien planet. well, almost.

both the girl best friends who've known each other for 5 years and one of which dies exploding, and the uncommunicative married/separated husbands who are punishing each other or themselves, one of which, again, almost dies exploding, looking like thasmin from every angle. (looking like thoschei, too, further back. because thats whats behind every picture of thasmin whichever way you cut it)

watching the identities slip and slide changing hands between all these parallels. Adam, sick astronaut, experimented on by aliens, clear doctor figure. or is he? jake, on the beach, sits where the doctor sits, saying he doesnt do emotions, admitting to being purposefully unreliable, unable to commit, disliking travelling! jake who can be summoned with a "help me". jake, who doesnt believe adam could really love him. who are we to apply this sentiment to, then? obviously, both. obviously, all.

"we didnt teleport into an active volcano!" yaz exclaims, too surprised at her own success to really be reassuring, as she holds onto her new friend's wrist, not hand, steering, directing, controlling. "im supposed to be the one saying that to you," the doctor responds, a year or three (or six, for yaz) later, when the destination is an active volcano, when in all these years theyve learnt to fly a spaceship together ("adam lang, your job is so easy!") but still havent figured out how to say the things that need saying, when one of them is dying, and the last time yaz was still pretending to be on sabbatical she knew for sure how old she was. two girls roaming.

the doctor wants so badly to figure this out, needs this win, after the identity shock of ruth, all the unanswered questions. even after the betrayal, after all the bad thats been done. "look at us, suki! two brilliant scientists, we can fix this!" whatever you did, whatever youve done, in desperation, wasnt right, but it's not the end. you can fuck it all up, and then you can help to try and unfuck as much as you can. just think. do not get carried away by fear. thats what scientist means, in the thirteenth doctor's mouth. someone who realises problems have solutions. that can be found. if you delay your frightened desperate furious reaction and just think for a second. she wishes she and suki could have worked together. she wishes they could have saved her planet as well as earth. she wishes she could have sent suki home, safe and sound, with solutions for whoever is left there, waiting for her, desperate and afraid. they will never know what happened. they will die sick and in ignorance.

adam offers himself up. hes dying anyway. they need a clinical trial and he is a suitable body to test on. makes you wonder. the master did not tell us everything, and what he didnt we'll never know, but as graham put it "i aint the fantasist round here" (detective morse, by the way, is not a reference i knew, but from wikipedia this character doesnt seem much to match jake's vibes, the master (and/or doctor) however...) what sense of duty might the child have felt? what sense of duty might the child have been talked into? or is that too patronising a way to frame it? what loyalty to her adoptive mother, a scientist and explorer, an example that still loudly resonates in 13, first-time woman, and what loyalty to her adoptive planet, people? what was life like on prehistoric gallifrey? "sparsely populated" is all we get. nothing about the possible reasons. disease doesnt seem out of the question. why did tecteun leave? "dangerous, unsophisticated space travel". why do something so dangerous? just the quest for knowledge? or was there desperation? was there fear?

"maybe," the doctor says, "i'll never know". and tecteun replies with a phrase the doctor herself has tried to leverage against yaz: the journey of a lifetime. "what do you do, 'Doctor'? pick people up, take them with you? you adopt them, use them, for reassurance, for company. theyre your experiments just as you were mine."

could she have been something else? who knows. but adam offered. and before that adam trained. and adam stepped into a rocket. and adam let himself be shot into space. scientist and explorer. and we're all full of plastic, whether we know it or not. and the doctor's a romantic. which is to say an idealist, here for the lost causes, a virus to kill the disease of our own making. infectious, and aware of it.

[munsonology]

Rockstar!eddie and baywatch!reader pleeeaassee. Do whatever you want, just give us crazy insanely smuttyyy ❤️‍🔥😏🫠🍆💦🍑

Rockstar!eddie and baywatch!reader are in my top 3 of eddie's right now!!!!

i love giving readers names, it makes me feel more connected. i named baywatch!reader Darla!

Mitch assigned you to the quietest zone on the beach. since it was revealed you'd been dating corroded coffin frontman Eddie munson the beach had been taken over by fans and paparazzi. rescues for the team had been even more dangerous than it usually is. Photographers would put themselves in harms way to get a picture of Eddie Munson's lover, even better if she's saving a life. You'd beg to differ seeing most of the published pics on the tabloid stands were of your uniform stuck in your ass. How convenient they would publish you had hauled a 150 lb man from the ocean.

You understood why Mitch made the decision, but you couldn't help but feel you were being punished. You watched the waves roll in and out. the most action you'd had all day was helping free a turtle from a fish net.

"Is that my little starla Darla?" you hear from below the tower. you look down to see Eddie waving at you. he held up a picnic basket and a blanket. "can you have a little early dinner?"

"I don't know..." you sigh.

"Come on! you only have an hour left."

"if someone sees--"

"there's no one out here, baby."

you look down at him over your ray bans. he looked so good. his hair was loose around his shoulders, the buttons of his black shirt undone, letting his tattoos and the chains around his neck peak through. you always gave in too easily when he looked like this.

you waved for him to come up to the tower. if you were caught you'd hear from mitch later. Eddie approached you with a deep kiss. his hands squeezed your ass.

"what about dinner?" you asked as his lips moved down your neck. you felt his already hard cock against your stomach.

"don't worry about it, baby. I have a feast planned."

he backed you into the tower, closing the door behind him. the way his eyes darkened sent shivers down your spine and throb to your cunt. you felt your legs hit the cot and sat down. your legs seem to open on their own.

eddie dropped to his knees in front of you. his ring covered fingers lightly trailed from your ankle to your inner thighs. with a lick of his lips he moved the crotch of your swimsuit to the side.

"fuck," he mumbled. if he could live between your sweet thighs he'd move right in. he'd never leave. the only thing better than your clit between his teeth was sinking his cock in your cunt.

Eddie leaned forward and spit right on your pussy. you moaned as he rubbed the slick around.

"bon appetit," you tease.

eddie dives into your cunt. his tongue is hot and thick on your clit, curling and sucking you like a straw.

"fuck! eddie!" your hands run through his curls. you pull the hair at the crown of his scalp. he let's out a moan that vibrates around your pussy.

three of his fingers work you open, reaching your gspot in record time. the large skull ring pressed against your button.

"d'ya like that baby?" he groans.

"yes! please, i'm close." you plead. Eddie lifts his head from your cunt to your lips. he kisses you hard, the taste of your pussy smeared between you.

he chuckles hearing the squelch of your cunt. fuck, you were always so wet for him. he loved how easy it was for you to soak the sheets in his bedroom. "can i cum?" your voice breathy, on the cusp of ecstasy. the bullying of your gspot drives you wild.

with a cry of his name, you release, soaking the cot beneath you and eddie. "fuck, my little super soaker," he teases. trembling from your orgasm, eddie rubs your thighs and places a kiss on your clit.

"i love you, baby," he whispers.

"i love you too rockstar."

IM GONNNA EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

[shlubbiehubbie]

uwu rawr this is my lore if you even care <3

so theres this guy. ive known him for over a year and we got along really well from the moment we met. long story short i fell in love with him. and it happened on accident. we were friends and i catch feelings for him but never get confirmation if he did or didnt feel the same.

heres the long story lol. we were really good friends like we both lived on campus so we hung out everyday between work and classes. we texted and called every goddamn day. we always met up when we had time. i remember feeling the desperation in a text he sent quickly followed by a call insisting he had time after a meeting to hang out and have dinner together. we even started a club together JUST TO BE ABLE TO HANG OUT MORE AND IN NICER VENUES!!! we just wanted a club where we could play jackbox games and watch movies and shows together. im telling yall he was so ideal. ive never felt so safe with someone before. i even introduced him to the solar car club at our university so we could be on the media and marketing team together. god we were almost inseparable. and he acted different when it was just us vs us with other people. he was clearly very comfortable with me. he would even tease me! he loved getting a reaction out of me. and we would laugh until our sides were sore or we were dying on the floor. we were such good friends and at some point i caught feelings.

we did so much together in the span of almost 4 months. i was having trouble with school due to the death of my grandfather, loss of my job, and being placed in 3 classes i already took at my community college (i was a transfer student). i was expected to do more than i should and felt punished for not knowing all the right channels to go through to get shit done. i felt so tired of the bullshit i didnt think a degree would be worth it at that specific university. but i didnt want to leave my friend. i had a lot of friends but this one in particular was special. this was my newest best friend who i spend countless hours with. he knew i was making the choice to drop out after that semester. the signs were clear he was going to miss me. he hugged me like it was the last time he was gonna see me. he doesnt like hugging and i can remember that embrace like it happened yesterday. i did not want to leave him. i loved him. so what do i do? i give him a card saying thank you for the memories and go no contact on him for 8 fucking months. i got over the worst depression of my life because i missed him so fucking much AND i felt like a failure for wasting my time and money on a school that clearly didnt care for me. i was going to CAPS almost once a week even when i was a student.

anyway. i get over the depression. i pick myself back up. i make great friends through the smiling friends fandom. i meet someone who sounds and laughs like my friend. what are the fucking chances. i am encouraged by new friends to reach out to my uni friend. i take my time but i finally do it. i reconnect with other friends and they encourage me too to call the friend ive been missing the most. and…he doesnt pick up. i want to cry. i feel like a failure again. but i think “maybe he called back?” HE DID. AND I MISSED IT! ACK! so i call him back. he picks up. we say our hellos and how are yous. i apologize for the radio silence and say i thought he hated me. he says “no no no no no no i dont hate you dont even worry about it.” im in love again. and the gentleness of his tone? are you fucking kidding me? we talk for like an hour and then i finally let him go to finish packing before he moves back in. i see him the day he moves in and i meet his parents for the 2nd time. after that we start hanging out again but a little too often. we set up proper boundaries after i have a mental breakdown bc he is the only one of my friends from last year that actually missed me and wanted to see me again. he said he wanted to see me again.

the last time i saw him was september 8. i was escorted off campus on the 9th and the 11th due to depressive episodes during both incidents (undiagnosed and unmediated at the time). i was institutionalized from the 14th to the 19th. i still havent seen my friend. i am officially banned from campus and i miss my good friend everyday. i wrote poetry about him that i may never share. i love him. i always will. what sucks is so many things remind me of him. i feel sick when i get reminded of him because i cannot physically be near him and i just miss him that fucking much. i’m hopeless. but i do think i will see him again even if it is not soon. its killing me to wait to see him again. fuck my stupid baka life. god i miss that goober!

[altschmerzes]

augh. the fuckening continues. Some More Stuff has gone down with my shitty shitty dad. yes. the one that died. It Continues To Go Down, Some Fucking How.

if you saw me talk about this somewhere else already sorry lmao. i don't even know why i'm like. i know there are people who i want to know things about how my life is going and who are invested in how i'm doing who follow me here and wouldn't have seen this elsewhere so it's like. sort of a bulletin and also i'm still just. it's circling around in my head kind of inescapably so. here's this. sorry for the continued oversharing re: The Fuckening, hopefully this'll be the last of it but apparently there is no way to remotely guarantee that he will stop pulling shit like this despite literally no longer being alive.

theres been a whole Thing where my dad had a life insurance policy through his work and the people from his job contacted our family and said that my sister and i were listed as the beneficiaries on the policy and so they needed the death certificate and our information to get that taken care of. i have been the one primarily in contact with the lady handling it, we emailed and talked on the phone a few times. and then recently my sister got something in the mail from the insurance people and i didn’t and we wondered if it was a problem with my address being canadian or my name change and so i called the insurance company today to get that sorted. according to them, based on the information provided by his work, I Am Not A Beneficiary. it’s just my sister, im listed as a contingency in case something happened to them before him or whatever i guess. so now there’s. that. going on. which, like. it makes sense, my sister is the one he had a relationship with and that’s a choice i made and it’s not like im owed anything but it’s still like. once again my sister is everyone’s favourite and im Nobody to my family unless they’re directly reminded i exist. except that like. he did remember i existed. he deliberately and specifically listed me as the backup and it was like- i felt weird about the whole thing already. Really Weird about it but this did not. make me feel Less Weird.

and it's like i just. why couldn’t the HR person from his job have read the fucking form correctly if that’s what it said this whole time. why was i listed as a CONTINGENCY beneficiary in the first place. i knew that man, i knew how his mind worked, i remember how every time i saw him when we WERE speaking he would inevitably bring up my brother and how my brother wouldn’t talk to him and how much that sucked. listing my sister for this policy and then adding me as a Backup Plan was like. this wasn’t about wanting to take care of my sister and just not thinking of me at all. so it’s like all the rest of it and now just. knowing, like knowing this was a choice he made to Punish Me for not being involved in his life. because his focus was never on what he had it was always on what he didn’t and how unfair and horrible it was that he didn’t have it. if he just hadn’t thought about me at all his partner of 11 years would be listed as the contingency if they Needed him to have one, the only reason to have put my name down like that was to Make A Point and to get back at me for walking away from him and it just?

like who does that. i cant get my mind around it. there is literally no reason for my name to have been included the way it was except to make a point and that’s what im upset about, not the inheritance stuff, it’s just. he was a vicious, petty, vindictive person and he got one last shot in to hurt me the only way he could because i wouldn’t talk to him. that letter he sent last year to my grandmothers house, this, he like. he hated me, i think. some part of him was so angry at me that he hated me and wanted to hurt me in any way he could even just by writing my name down like Not You Though, The Other One Is The One I’m Acknowledging As My Child Who I Want To Care For And Protect In The Event Of My Death, But I Need It To Be Clear It’s NOT You on paperwork he probably never thought anyone else would see. how pissed and resentful do you have to be for that to be something you think to do.

just like. was it not enough. was what he did to me when i was a kid not enough. why do things have to KEEP happening. why does he KEEP needing to find ways to hurt me as bad as possible because that is the outcome he wanted. was to hurt me as bad as he could in whatever way he could. just. what the fuck.

yknow in my like. ninth grade english class there was this one super insane day after it was made extremely clear that my teacher had no control over the class and wasn’t gonna try and rectify that where these two kids who hated each other got in this big fight like. mid-class. and the way this fight took place is one of them was shouting across the room and the other was, and this is not a joke, repeatedly changing the name of a wifi hotspot on his phone, as a way of responding to her. this is about that level of petty, immature bullshit. conducting a fight with someone by changing the name of a wifi hotspot. getting back at your bitch of a daughter who won’t talk to you by filling out HR paperwork so that it’s SUPER clear you only meant the other one and NOT this one SO THERE. etc. what a fucking child.

[the-stage-manager]

here have this ramshackle of a fanfic 🫴

might have been inspired by Genius Next Door by Regina Spektor, idk

others said it must have been the weather

Summary: Crosshair struggles to adapt to the complexities of civilian life, while grieving the loss of commander Mayday.

Characters: Crosshair, Hunter, Rex

Word Count: 6k+

Warning: This story contains graphic descriptions of depression and an attempted suicide, if you are sensitive to those topics fuck off no story is worth the cost of your mental health, love yourself by steering clear, unclenching your jaw, staying hydrated, and the sensation of suddenly becoming aware of your tongue in your mouth. It's a big muscle you know. The body of it goes away down your throat. Now is also probably the time to mention that Im high. But. Enjoy the story.

ps. I wrote this immediately after The Outpost so everything that happened in the season finale is ignored because fuck that noise

Crosshair shouldn't have been surprised when his brothers turned up to rescue him. He shouldn't have been, but he was. They were brothers after all, right? Wrecker had said it himself in the wreckage of Kamino: "We would have taken you back..."

It hurt anyways, of course, a confusing mixture of anger and guilt. He had warned them to stay away. Rescuing him was foolish, they had put themselves and Omega in harm's way for nothing, completely ignoring the warning he had sent, and he was infuriated by their foolhardiness, incensed by their rejection of his sacrifice. 

They were stiff and guarded—Hunter especially—watching him carefully from the corners of his eyes, as if he was a deactivated roller who might spring to life at any second. Hadn't they grown up together? Had his choice to remain with the Empire really damaged their relationship so severely that he was little more than a stranger to them? It has been a rational decision; a decision millions of other clones had made. They were soldiers, bred to die, purposeless without violence of war. The galaxy wanted nothing to do with them—even when they were war heroes the Republic had seen them as nothing more than droids with skin and bone. With the Empire, there had been a promise of food and shelter and purpose. Tactically, it made the most sense. 

Until it hadn't, and the Empire, as Lt. Nolan had made so perfectly clear, had no use for them. 

But perhaps, what he saw etched in the expressions of his brothers, was nothing more than a projection of what he felt he deserved to see. Perhaps the distance between them was artificial, built up like a wall to shield Crosshair from the burning agony of forgiveness. Perhaps he was afraid that, if they peered at him to closely, they would see everything he had suffered, everything he had lost and, being empathetic to a fault, they would fail to see the responsibility he'd had as the maker of his own suffering. Somebody much wiser than him had told him once, "We make our own decisions. And we have to live with them, too." 

Crosshair had never been a 'plan for the future's sort of person. War rarely ever offered that sort of long-sided perspective on things. He had never truly considered the possibility of having to live with the consequences of his actions. He had never truly considered the possibility of having to live at all, after the war. After all, the notion of a 'glorious death for the sake of the Republic' had been drilled into him as a thing to be celebrated for as long as he could remember. 

So, while Crosshair had been prepared to die on Tantiss, perhaps living was a more suitable punishment.

And Crosshair was more than prepared to wear his decisions, to let them line his pockets like pebbles. 

They brought him to some tropical planet. They had told him the name of the planet, the name of the town, over and over, but he couldn't ever seem to recall it. The information never stuck. It wasn't as if somebody was going to ask him where he lived. It wasn't as if that place was his home. Clones—regs and Clone Force 99 alike—had barracks and ships, places they rested as they waited for deployment. They weren't meant to have homes, to be domesticated. They were soldiers, that was their purpose. 

Was their purpose.

What was their purpose now? Who were they supposed to be? Where did they belong, obedient dogs, bred for battle? They were too vicious for civilian life, they didn't have the skills for it. They didn't know how to live without the structure of an army. Where would they live? How would they make money? What would they eat? Where would they sleep and for how long? Who would be willing to teach them how to function outside of war, how to manage the panic and the sudden fits of rage and the flashbacks and the immense sting of survivor's guilt because if anyone should have survived that avalanche—

What did it matter? Logistically, the clones were abandoned.

Crosshair's recovery had gone smoothly and he had expected, once he felt well enough to feel again, that he would, in fact, feel something—sorrow or regret or relief or even joy. But those feelings never came. Crosshair felt nothing except, perhaps, for the unceasing, insatiable anger that grew without incentive, and a distant ache that came with the realization that his life was, essentially, over.

When he had avenged Commander Mayday's death, under the shadow of the relentless scavenger, he had been prepared to die. He had anticipated his distress call to be his final words. He had been bred to be a soldier, after all. He had been taught, since birth, to prepare to die. 

Living was a much more difficult concept. A fitting punishment.  

Crosshair had only ever been good at one thing. And that one thing had been useful on the rare occasions that the Batch left the planet to assist Echo and Rex and their network of rescued clones, but those sorts of missions were becoming scarcer and scarcer as the rest of the Batch began assimilating into more domestic roles. They made money fishing or repairing machinery or hauling heavy equipment. There was no need to engage in mercenary activities when they had everything they needed at home. Besides, it was what was best for Omega's development to stay away from conflict.

Assimilation came easily for the others. For Crosshair, not so much. He came across as standoffish and rude and his skills as a sniper were worthless to the civilians. He was hostile and short tempered and the civilians, for the most part, gave him a wide berth. As they should.

Crosshair had always been an ass—rude and sarcastic. He said things, cruel things, because he liked to keep an aire of indifference, of superiority, around him. He had never been an angry man, merely cold and condescending. But now? Now, Crosshair felt completely out of control. The civilians and his brothers would do things that made him so angry he felt like his head was going to pop off—loud noises and bright lights were enough to make the sniper furious. He would get angry when the weather outside was too cold, and he couldn't seem to stop himself from making snide remarks about how much Wrecker ate, driven by a bizarre insecurity that there wouldn't be enough food left.

He snapped with people looked at him the wrong way; he snapped when he smelled ozone or heard sparks crackling; he snapped when he felt the texture of rough wool; he snapped when he heard Omega laugh; he snapped whenever a particularly cruel thought whispered, in a voice that was entirely vagal, that his brothers should have shot him on Kamino when they had the chance. 

He felt like he was losing his mind, like the all-too-familiar smell of the ocean had crept beneath his skin and settled into his bloated veins like a fat, indulgent parasite. The long days became plagued with migraines, and the bitter nights became plagued with restless dreams. 

He missed Mayday, wasn't that strange?

He missed having somebody who understood what he had gone through, what he had sacrificed and why. 

"So what made you want to leave?" Echo had asked once. 

Crosshair never answered and Echo never asked again. 

Crosshair never spoke of Mayday, never described the avalanche, or the armor that so many clones had lost their lives to protect. He didn't talk about the thirty-two rotations he had suffered on Kamino, that his body had metabolized all of his muscular tissue by the time that they had found him, that it had taken weeks to eat solid food again, and months before he could return to active duty. He never talked about Cody, or Dr. Hemlock, or Tantiss, or the torture, or Mayday—because wasn't it always fucking Mayday?—because he couldn't  the conversation would end with anything other than an, "I told you so." 

He didn't talk about any of it. Except, just once, to Rex. 

"Have you heard from Commander Cody?" Crosshair had asked, and Rex had responded tersely:

"I have." 

Crosshair had waited in silence for the captain to continue, but Rex said nothing. So Crosshair mentioned that the last time he had spoken to commander Cody was the day before he defected and—

And then he asked, interrupting himself, "Have you ever lost a friend before?" 

Rex had made a face as Crosshair had told the story. The sniper couldn't identify the expression—he assumed it was pity, or contempt. Which was understandable, he supposed. Rex had fought the chip tooth and claw, had made it his life's mission to help clones escape the Empire; Crosshair had fought tooth and claw to stay with the Empire. Expecting any sort of sympathy or brotherhood from Rex was astoundingly stupid, and Crosshair was quick to recognize the mistake and harden once more. 

"Have you told the others?" Rex asked. 

Crosshair pressed his lips into a thin line and responded, coldly, "They wouldn't understand," 

"You might be surprised," Rex had said. 

Crosshair had felt something burn within him, unidentifiable. "I think I know my squad better than you do, captain," he hissed, his voice dripping with venom. 

"They haven't been 'your squad's for a long time," Rex had pointed out, and Crosshair couldn't breathe. 

Still, Rex had been generous enough to offer him advice—sometimes, writing letters to the deceased helped with the process of parsing through one's grief.  

It was stupid, but Crosshair was desperate for relief, so he wrote. It helped, for a little while. It made him feel less alone, less numb. Never once in his letters, did he apologize. He had tried, many times, but the words were always wrong and every attempt ended in unceasing anger, as a little voice in his head whispered, "Remind me not to die on your watch." 

Crosshair was a quick learned, so it wasn't long before he found himself avoiding the subject entirely. Instead, he spoke of useless things in his letters to the dead man. He described the weather, made remarks about the humidity and the tropical storms. He spoke of the locals, the food, his appreciation that somebody was finally able to cook a dish that was spicy enough for him. He talked about the Batch, described them in detail and wrote of their antics—after all, Mayday had pressed, once, about who his squad had been. Surely he'd want to know? 

Crosshair found himself writing about his feelings—as distant and muted as they were. He spoke of the unfair resentment he felt towards Omega, of his unfounded inability to trust his brothers, of his immense shame. He about the gaping chasm of anger that sat in his chest. It was oddly comforting, talking to a dead man he had only known for three rotations. 

Just once, after a particularly frustrating day—the rain and the cold had made him inexplicably furious—he wrote himself a letter, as if he was Mayday—as if Mayday was still alive. He wanted to indulge in the fantasy that his shame was unfounded, that he hadn't failed his friend. 

The letter read only one sentence: 'Great to hear you're doing well out there.'

There, Crosshair froze. 

He deleted the letter almost instantly, as if, with a sharp inhale, reality dawned on him: What was he doing? What was the point? Mayday was dead. He was nothing more than an strewn pile of bones, picked clean by the vultures. What did he even care? They hadn't even been friends. They'd held two stiff conversations in half a rotation before the avalanche, and that was it. If he was alive, he wouldn't care about the weather or Crosshair's love of spicy food. 

They weren't friends. 

They weren't anything. 

Crosshair had nothing. 

There was nothing. Everything was empty.

He never wrote again, after that. The action was pointless. Mayday was dead. Writing letters wouldn't undo the avalanche, they couldn't turn back time. The dead were dead were dead. Crosshair, in a fit of frustration, cast the datapad across the room, hurling it against the wall with all his might. It clattered to the floor, abandoned, and was never touched again. 

It was funny, really; perhaps Mayday liked the letters because as soon as Crosshair stopped writing them, the commander started showing up in his dreams more and more frequently. Or perhaps the letters—the rumination—had appeased the commander in some way, had served as penance of some sort, as the commander's visage in the dreams became more and more cruel, more and more decomposed. 

Unfortunately, it wasn't as if the things Mayday said in his dreams weren't true. 

Everything was empty: even the yawning void where Crosshair's anger use live, festering. But there was nothing anymore, no unceasing rage, no flinching at the wrong smells and sounds and touches, even the nightmares, after some time, eventually faded until he stopped dreaming all together, and he begun to wake up just as exhausted as when he had gone to bed. 

The more time passed, the less real Crosshair felt. The numbness stretched across his skin and sunk deep into his belly. He no longer felt hungry or thirsty or tired. Even physical pain felt far away. He stopped speaking because his voice stopped sounding familiar, and he stopped spending time with his brothers and Omega because he discovered that, if he stared at them for long enough, their faces were no longer recognizable—like how a word repeated too many times becomes a noise without meaning.

Perhaps, he was no longer human. Had he ever been truly human? Or had the entirety of his manufactured life been artificial?

Food lost its appeal, spice no longer enticed him. Eating became a chore, but he never stopped—when hunger tugged at his stomach, his heart would race, gripped with something that might have been panic, if it wasn't so far away. 

Hunger was an interesting thing, Crosshair learned. When the pangs struck, he wasn't on the tropical planet, he was back on Kamino, with it's cold oceans and maelstroms—and the one rogue wave that had slapped the platform and nearly washed him away. The pangs of hunger transported him to a tiny platform in the middle of the sea, curled on his side as the wind howled and the rains fell in relentless sheets. 

Alcohol quieted the racing thoughts. He had never been a heavy drinker (although he certainly had his other vices) because he disliked the way it made him unsteady (and he was also driven away by the taste) but these days, it was the only thing that kept his head afloat. Otherwise, he might just drown in the vast ocean of nothingness that hung beneath him. The pointlessness, like a sea monster, might just consume him if he dared to let go of the bottle. 

On Kamino, there had been whispers of monsters in the water; creatures who could lure their victims out to sea with their voices, before drowning them. It was a stupid scary story that Crosshair had never believed, but perhaps there has been some truth to it: perhaps singing monsters truly did live in the seas. Perhaps it was their songs that had enticed Crosshair, that had called him to the ocean. 

Or, perhaps, he was simply a desperate, cowardly man who was too timid to admit that he didn't actually have the strength to live with his choices. 

Whatever it the reason, the outcome was the same: Crosshair began to stay up late, waiting, locked in his room, for the rest of the world, for his brothers, to sleep. Then, in the cool of the night, he would creep out and make his way to the beach. Despite the horrors of the Kaminoans platform, the ocean didn't frighten him. In fact, they enticed him, welcomed him, and he would wade out into the water, fully dressed, just to see how far he was willing to go. Each night, he got a little braver and swam a little farther. It was a game he played with the ocean—how far out could he swim before the relentless tides swept him away? 

He told himself he didn't want to die, it wasn't about that. He argued with himself that if he really wanted to die, he'd just shoot himself, plain and simple. 

But sometimes, he would fill his pockets with sand and swim out until the ocean floor seemed to drop away and he would let himself sink, just how far he could lose himself. 

It made him feel alive, in a way. 

It ended the same way every night: at some point, he'd lose the urge and return to shore, his chest aching with an emotion he refused to acknowledge. As the sun rose, he'd return home, dawning with a hangover, strip naked, and crawl into bed. 

The days became a blurry mess of salt and sand and alcohol. Any residual anger melted away, numbed by the drink and the sharp, cool tang of the ocean, and the distant awareness that, with the increasing stakes of his game, any day could be his last. It was that thought, truthfully, that brought the numbness, disguised as relief. 

"Crosshair?" 

Crosshair ground his teeth when Hunter's voice cut through the haze. He sounded tentative. "Rex and Echo have been looking for you. We've got intel from Howzer about a dozen clones in prison for deserting. We've got a rescue mission planned but, well, we could use a sniper," He sounded almost hopeful, or like he was pleading. 

"Howzer?" Crosshair asked, licking his cracked lips. He was thirsty. For the first time in weeks, he was aware enough of his body to recognize the heaviness of his tongue, the way it stuck to the roof of his mouth. 

Water wasn't a problem. Luckily, for as hellish as the ocean planet was, the rain was a constant, which meant that fresh water wasn't a big concern. What was concerning, however, was the lack of food. He had nothing. Perhaps he could attempt to fish, but the ocean was cold and the current was strong. He could easily be swept away by the- 

Where was he?

"He was a captain who served on Rhyloth under you and Admiral Rampart,"

"What?" he croaked. 

"He was a captain. He served under you and Rampart on Rhyloth," Hunter said again, more slowly. He looked concerned. His hands was halfway outstretched towards the sniper. 

"And Rex wants me there?" Crosshair  asked, blinking in disbelief. 

Hunter looked expectant or disappointed, Crosshair wasn't sure.

"He and Echo asked for you specifically. He, uh, he says he needs you sober, though," Hunter said with a frown. He sounded uncomfortable. Why did that make Crosshair angry?

"I'll be there," The sniper said simply.

"Crosshair, look. I think we should talk-" Hunter sound urgent, maybe desperate. 

Unfortunately Crosshair wasn't interested in finding out which it was so, instead, he turned his back on the sergeant, signalling the end of the conversation. 

Howzer. He remembered Howzer. He had allowed Clone Force 99 to escape, had defected against the Empire. Crosshair had thought it was such a repulsive thing to do—he had never liked the captain, and cuffing the captain had brought him a sick sense of pleasure. He had been pleased to punish dissidence. 

Would Howzer recognize him? What a stupid question. Crosshair was no reg. His face was- 

Unrecognizable. 

Crosshair was staring into a mirror. How had he gotten there? He didn't remember-

He could see the burn scar carved deep into his scalp. His heart hammered as he dug his fingers into the pits. 

Rex and Echo wanted him on that mission? With Howzer? Why? 

I'll be there. 

He would not.

He was no coward.

He spent the evening strolling the streets, gathering pebbles. When night fell, he swam farther that he ever had before. He fell deeper than ever, his pockets lines with pebbles. When his lungs cried out for oxygen, he surfaced, furious, cowardly. He was angry at Rex, angry at Echo, angry at Hunter, angry at Howzer, angry at Mayday, angry at himself. So he took it out on the ocean, cursing at it, as if he could enrage it enough to incense it to violence, as if it would crush him beneath a furious, rogue wave.  But the tides remained gentle, and the night was calm. 

Crosshair in his anger, dived. 

Usually, when he sank, he simply exhaled and let the water drag his body down. There has never been any intention behind it, no motion of energy. But now? Now there was fury. Still-powerful limbs propelled the sniper into the darkness, too upset to really think about what he was so determined to accomplish. 

The first time his lungs cried out for oxygen, Crosshair, out of spite, pushed himself even deeper. 

The second time his lungs cried out, reality set in and, suddenly, all of the burning grief and desperation and rage, rage had been smothered, leaving only the smouldering ashes of regret, and the charcoal taste of terror. 

What had he done?

He was down so deep that the pressure hurt his ears. He twisted in the total darkness, suddenly away, for the first time, of the possibilities that big, hulking, singing monsters swam in the depths. He felt like prey. As he tried to right himself, he lost his sense of direction. Which was was up? He exhaled sharply, up went the bubbles. Crosshair, scowling, followed them up. He wouldn't die. He wouldn't let himself die. Just like on Bracca and Kamino and Barton-4. He would not die. 

He had no right to die. Commander Cody had said-

He clawed upwards. His eyes stang and his lungs felt like they were going to collapse in on themselves, but still Crosshair persisted. Up and up and up and up- 

The urge to inhale was immense. He refused. It would not happen. Even as black spots began to appear in his blurry vision, as his brain tingled and his limbs ached, the determination persisted. 

His body exhaled and inhaled in spite of himself, hijacked by instinct. Everything burned. He thrashed, attempting to cough and sucking down more water. 

The surface was close. The bubbles lead the way up. At the sight of them, Crosshair's brain produced an image and a voice. 

"Vicious creatures, but you've got to admire them. They find a way to survive."

He was the ice vulture. It was him. He had sacrificed everything to survive, he chose cast his brothers aside like carrion and now he had to live with those choices.

Vaguely, he recalled breeching the surface. He remembered thrashing and and choking. He recalled the itchy feeling creeping up the back of his throat, the way his stomach heaved, and the taste of bile. He recalled gasping, his body convulsing autonomously towards the shore, practically dragging himself against the current, which had grown strong. He recalled he recalled seeing lights beyond the shore and crying out for help, only for his salt-damaged voice to fail.

He continued to gasp and spew water until his toes touched the sandy shore, he heaved himself forwards and collapsed, at last, on the beach. It took all of his energy to roll up onto his knees. He pressed a fist against his stomach and pressed down on it as hard as he could, forcibly expelling the excess water from his lungs. 

It was funny—he remembered gasping for air. He remembered his eyes falling shut. There had been sand beneath him. When he woke, there was grass beneath him. He opened his eyes, blurred with seawater. Despite that, the figure who stood before him, arms crossed and back straight, was unmistakable. 

"Rex," Crosshair sneered, his voice rough. 

"Have a good swim?" Rex asked, his voice was cold. Before the sniper could answer, the former captain cut in sharply, "There better be a damn-fucking good reason why I found you half dead on the beach," he snapped. He almost sounded worried. 

"I don't answer to you," Crosshair growled, forcing himself to his feet. He staggered forward, stumbled and- 

Rex caught him, steadied him. It was a kind gesture. 

"You should have let me fall," Crosshair hissed, petulantly swatting at Rex's hands. He sounded almost... Mournful. It would have felt good to fall. To sink. It would have made him feel alive. 

"Crosshair..." Captain Rex didn't sound so cold anymore. 

Unfortunately, Crosshair was stubborn. Severe and unyielding. He wrenched himself from the reg's arms and staggered forward. "Fuck off," he spat, unable to think of anything more eloquently to say. 

"Don't think I don't understand what you just tried to do! This isn't something you can just walk away from!" Rex argued, reaching out to put a hand on Crosshair's shoulder. "You need help, Crosshair. What happened on Barton-4 wasn't your fault-" 

Crosshair reacted violently, balling up a fist and slamming it right into Rex's face, who reeled backwards. Adrenaline was a hell of a drug and, even in such a physically exhausted state, Crosshair still had a nasty right hook. 

He imagined Rex hitting him, returning the punch, blow for blow. He imagined it might feel good, in a self-vindictive sort of way. Crosshair imagined, just for a moment, that Rex's fist was clad in clone armor and rags, that his hair was dark and long, and his beard was-

It was deserved. 

But Rex never struck Crosshair. The sniper, anticipating the blow, stumbled backwards and landed flat on his ass. His heart was beating so fast, he thought it might just stop. He rolled onto his hands and knees, and vomited saltwater.

"Hey, hey, hey! What the fucking kark is going on!" Hunter shouted, emerging from the darkness. "What the hell are you doing?!" 

"The captain and I were just having a discussion about tomorrow's mission," the sniper said, panting, as if it was an acceptable answer. 

"Rex, what's going on?" Hunter demanded again, and Crosshair grit his teeth. 

"Did you hear what I said?" he spat. His whole body was trembling from the exertion and the cold, as the seawater evaporation from his skin. He shut his eyes tight and breathed harshly against the rising nausea. Hadn't this happened before? The cold and the exhaustion, the position on his knees, even the words were-

"Help him!" Crosshair cried out, gesturing to a body that wasn't there. 

Whatever Hunter or Rex might have said was completely lost on the sniper, who was trapped in a snowy wasteland, watching, barely conscious, as the worthless lieutenant circled around him like a vulture.

'Certainly not. That would be a waste of the Empire's resources.'

Crosshair's expression fell. The shaking worsened. "He'll... He'll die," he croaked. 

And that was the crux of it, really. He'll die. He had never felt so helpless before, pleading for the life of somebody else, at the mercy of somebody else's whims. He had never been so powerless before. 

Clone Force 99 had a 100% mission success rate. Crosshair had never failed his brothers before, he wouldn't fail Mayday now. He wouldn't.  

He'll die. He recalled prying the commander's helmet off, recalled watching his chest sink and his expression relax as the spirit rose up to march alongside Veetch and Hexx. It was horrific. Mayday could have lived. He would have lived if Nolan had just felt like helping. 

Was Crosshair so powerless that his life was at the mercy of—

"It isn't real, Crosshair. Whatever you're seeing isn't real," As Hunter's voice washed over him, Crosshair lifted his eyes. He felt like he was waking up from a dream. 

"Take a deep breath, Crosshair," That was Rex's voice, nasally from the damage the sniper had done to his nose. It was bleeding something fierce. Crosshair felt almost proud. "There you go. One more," 

He was still on his hands and knees, still dripping wet, gripping the grass so tight that his knuckles had gone stiff.

"Good hit," Rex grumbled. "Consider us even," 

Before the Empire, Crosshair would have smirked—he vividly recalled incensing the captain to violence by bitching about his previous ARC trooper. Before the Empire, he used to tease Echo about it: "It's cute how much your captain loves you. Let me guess, you were the Batch Baby?" 

"You should have let me drown," Crosshair blurted out because he wasn't the same person he had been before the Empire; because he couldn't seem to stop the words from tumbling out; because he so badly wanted the help but was so scared to accept it. 

Rex and Hunter were both kneeling beside him, Hunter had a hand resting on the back of his shoulder, while Rex had a firmer hold, as if preparing to catch him. 

"You crawled out of that ocean yourself," Rex pointed out. 

"Then you should have thrown me back in," Crosshair sneered, in a tone that Hunter had come to realize was joking—but the words felt wrong, and a little too intentional. 

"We're all worried about you, Crosshair. What were you doing out there?" Hunter asked, and the younger clone squeezed his eyes shut. 

"Swimming," he said venomously. 

"Cool off, spitfire," Rex chided firmly. "You're not fooling anyone," 

Rex was talking about his tone—Crosshair's thorns were only defensive—but the words hit deeper. A pained groan pulled from Crosshair's chest as he attempted to shift his weight. He realized quickly that if he moved, he'd collapse, and he didn't wait either clone to see him in such a state. He gripped the grass even harder as he drawled, "You know why," 

Crosshair anticipated stunned, humiliating silence, but Hunter offered none. Without missing a beat he asked, "Why?" When Crosshair didn't response, Hunter asked again, more urgently, "Crosshair, why?" 

"You should tell him. Your squad doesn't want to see you at the bottom of the ocean," Rex's voice was kinder than Crosshair deserved. He clamped his jaw shut and said nothing. 

"We're a patient bunch, you know. We can do this all night," Hunter said, irritated and insistent, panicked. "Rex is right. Nobody wants to see you dead,"

Slowly, Crosshair cracked his eyes open. "You wouldn't understand," he croaked. He sounded defeated. 

"I think you'd be surprised," Rex insisted. 

"He wouldn't understand. Neither of you will ever understand," he snarled like a feral animal. 

"Well, just try!" Hunter snapped, all of his self-proclaimed patience dissolving in an instant. "If you kill yourself because you can't be bothered to let anybody help you, none of us would forgive you! Can you imagine how upset Wrecker-"

"Hunter," Rex said sharply. 

The sergeant sucked in a slow breath and then said, "Crosshair, I meant what I said. None of us want to see you dead. I don't want to see you dead,"

"That's a lovely sentiment; where was all that sweet-talk on Kamino?" Crosshair growled, still adamantly refusing to look up. 

"You're right. But we're not on Kamino. I made a lot of shitty mistakes. My biggest regret is not trying harder to go after you immediately after Rex took the chips out. And I'm sorry. You needed up and we weren't there,"

Crosshair didn't answer. There was nothing to say and the silence was stifling—like being buried under snow. 

"Cross..." Hunter said suddenly, and there was a certain desperation in his voice, despite using such a gentle tone. "I really did mean what I said. You're my brother, I don't want to lose you. All of this shit—whatever it is you're carrying—you can't go on like this, and we can't lose you. Not again," He slipped his arm under Crosshair's shoulder. "Let us help you carry this," 

Crosshair expression tightened, his breathing hitched, and he instantly felt enraged. He grit his teeth, fingers digging tight into the dirt, and in his fury he began, silently, to cry. 

Beneath the numbness, beneath the rage, was sorrow and grief and guilt and so much regret. 

"I'm sorry..." he croaked, barely able to push the words past his ruined vocal chords and shuddering breaths. 

Hunter scooted closer, pushing his arm more firmly under Crosshair's shoulder, ready to catch him when he fell. "It's okay. We forgive you. It's okay, Cross," 

The resolute sniper never made a sound, and he turned his scrunched face away, too proud to let Hunter see him cry. His whole body shuddered and his arms, at last, gave out. 

Hunter caught him. 

He tugged Crosshair close. He flicked his head—a signal to give them some space—and Crosshair heard Rex's footsteps as he stepped away. He felt foolish for his inability to stop the steady flow of tears, but Hunter just held him tighter. He didn't deserve it, he tried to hold his breath to force the feelings away, but his battered lungs wouldn't obey. All he could do was slowly drag his arms up to cling to the sergeant. 

"I'm... I'm sorry," he rasped. 

"Crosshair, I forgive you. And I'm sorry too. I'm sorry it got to this point. We all knew you were struggling but we- we didn't know how bad it was. Rex and Echo and I figured you were struggling to adjust to civilian life. We figured a mission would be a good change of environment. I had no idea—" Hunter shook his head and tightened his grip once more. "It's not an excuse. I'm sorry. It's not an excuse,"

Crosshair managed, at last, to steady his breathing. If he wasn't so exhausted, he'd pull away and stalk off. It he wasn't so exhausted, he'd run away and hide behind all of his walls and thorns, and Hunter never would have caught him. He wasn't sure whether it was a blessing or a curse, to be caught before he could sink further. After all, living was so very difficult. 

"I'm kriffing pissed at you, you know," Hunter said softly, voice hardly above a whisper. "You can't do this again. If we lost you..." 

Crosshair scowled. "You already lost me once before, and you seemed fine," 

That must've hit a nerve because Hunter inhaled sharply and his grip stiffened. "You don't know shit, Crosshair. Is that really what you think of us? That we cared for you so little that we celebrated in your absence? When you said you had your chip taken out, you have no idea how hurt and betrayed-" Crosshair tugged away, and Hunter loosened his hold, immediately cutting himself off. 

There was that shame again, burning in the pit of the sniper's stomach. His arms fell. 

"You have every right to be angry," Hunter said with a sigh, as if he, too, struggled to let his feelings go. "I'm sorry. I'm saying all of the wrong things. I don't want to lose you and knowing that you-" he shook his head. "I'm having a hard time controlling my emotions. That's not your fault, it's mine. And I'm sorry. I don't blame you for staying with the Empire. I understand why you did what you did. We didn't get to you before Kamino. We weren't fast enough. But we did try," he insisted. "I don't- I don't want you to think that we never tried," 

Hunter's arms loosened again, and Crosshair steadied his breath, prepared to straighten, to stand up, to be let go. But Hunter didn't let go. After a moment of hesitation his arms tightened once more. 

"I'm not going to leave you again, Crosshair. I'm not going to lose you," Hunter said firmly. "Rex is off to wake the doc. We've got to give you a physical eval, make sure all that seawater didn't fuck you up. And you need to talk to her. Crosshair, listen to me, you need to tell her that when you went out into the water, you intended to end your life. If you don't, I will. You don't have to tell her why, but you have to tell her. I won't lose you, and you need help. None of the others have to know, you can tell them when you're ready, but you have to tell the doc," he said. 

"So... I'm on suicide watch?" Crosshair sneered, simultaneously sagging into Hunter and rolling his eyes. 

"You're on suicide watch," Hunter said firmly. 

'Tell me about your squad,' Mayday had asked, breath wet and raspingv painfully. 

'Hunter is a pain in the ass. Shitty leader, pain in the ass, but he's kind. So.' Crosshair had writen in one of his useless, fucking letters.

"I lost a friend," the sniper said so softly his voice was barely audible. 

"I'm sorry," Hunter said, and it sounded almost genuine. But it was just enough to prompt Crosshair to keep talking. 

By the time Rex had returned with the doc, Crosshair was barely awake, succumbing to the exhaustion. He remained firmly in Hunter's arms and, while nothing was truly fixed, not yet, it was a beginning. For the first time since before the Empire, Crosshair felt safe.

[therosevest]

so right a couple of my film friends and i met last night to do wine and glee and i left and tried to catch a bus in our gross rainy cold weather and so when it finally comes im just like zoo wee mama my glasses r fogging up and all that shit. but who of course is on the bus but my one friend the main perpetrator of acting like im some flaky cunt (rant city below)

so i guess technically this wouldnt look great on my part bc i was obviously Somewhere and had been ignoring the group chat making plans but oh my GOD whatever who careessssss who Cares. so im like fucking phenomenal ok walk back Omg hi and she moves her shit so i can sit and i get settled and am like hey. and she asks what i was up to and ofc when i say anything bc this is fucking awkward shes just got this stupid smug little smile but i was just sitting there like bitch im not gonna sit here and act embarrassed for seeing my other friends so i was just like So are u guys doing x tn and shes like mhm yep are you coming and i was like well gee i dont know. sarcastic shrug. make conversation about the timing of the place for a second kinda jokin then awk silence

and so then because im a chill normal adult and am aware that shes about to go meet the group of friends and no matter what this interaction is going to be brought up and i had been planning on composing a levelheaded text but i just said Look im sorry that i ghosted you guys (and shes again smug smiling nodding next to me. girl.) i just honestly got tired of feeling like im being singled out and judged when i cant make it to something and she literally is just like Well im sorry you feel that way just u know we do try to come up w different days etc (if u like me are bad at reading between the lines this was a non apology and defense based on uh Nothing) and i was like right well ik last semester wasnt great it's just that sometimes i feel like im being shunned in the group chats when no one answers or reacts to anything i say and the other day when you said like. yk the 'could u commit' thing that felt really sort of condescending

and shes like again well im sorry u felt that way i was just trying to find another day that u could actually make it cause i wanted us all to be there so im not really sure how that came across as condescending but um yeah. and i, jackass that i am (<3) pulled out my phone and pointed and said Well u see we didnt have actual plans and in fact no one answered when i said anything abt it and yk things come up and so for me to have sent this whole nice thing and just get 'do you think youd be able to commit' in response felt a little bit needlessly mean (and i also tried to earnestly say at some point in all this that i genuinely do love and care for them and want to see them but yk this Sucks and was just bad timing)

THEN we somehow spin into her going Well i just had no idea this was even a thing until you brought it up just now i mean i wasnt even thinking abt it ive never really thought that of you etc and so then im sitting here feeling like im being gaslit in real time not to be dramatic and i felt very much like when i was in high school and people manipulated me bc i was a very easy target (its not that real but w/e) and so im like Ok be calm but dont just like let that slide cause girl be serious (prob should have but what ever) so i was like well you know i do apologize if i just couldnt tell your intent over text, but after you guys never answered me about hanging out and then the short responses like maybe u can kind of see where i felt like you were being rude (didnt say it quite that bluntly w/e)

and she pulls out the big card. the. well i just think youre being defensive. oh years and years of being the youngest and punished for um having feelings lmfao slammed me in my chest at that moment. and i calmly said Okay cool i think youre being defensive. and i lit missed my bus stop cause this driver was swerving so then i was just like Well you guys have fun maybe ill see you tonight bye. so. really feeling awesome abt the state of that. in all reality tho it's like i hung out w some friends and then went out to the gay bar w others and danced and etc and i can only imagine how much of a Thing this was for them so. if someone could win it'd be me right

(on another note at some point during this ride sams roommate requested to follow me back <3 which i had been pretending not to think abt for the last couple hours) anyway

this has been a post let me know if im being normalish

[nyaatorou]

signalis analysis? thematic analysis i guess. this is mainly for a friend so it’s a little more cohesive than ramblings on discord, but obviously massive spoilers under the dropdown, go play the game first!

ill put this as a disclaimer, this is not an indepth line by line break down, this is more my thoughts on the overarching themes and what i remember from just beating it last night, so if something has direct evidence against it, then oops, and im assuming if youre reading this you know roughly what im talking about too

reading other people’s analysis of the game though i think some people get too caught up in trying to figure out what’s REAL and what’s not, what’s ariane’s dream and what’s actually going on

but i think the issue with that is that it’s an exercise in futility, it’s a game about dreams about dreams, layers on layers, i don’t think there’s any true or “best” interpetation of what’s going on

the core story, the one that we the audience are let in on the most and care about, is ariane and elster’s love story (they’re all love stories tho). ariane comes from leng, living away from civilization with her mom, and is sent to school in rotsfront, there she’s bullied and seen as weird by peers and her elders she does her military service, and applies for the penrose program to leave, to get away from it all, to find something out THERE in the space, anything that’s not her current life and she gets in, and meets Elster, and is told officially not to be friends with her, to keep her distance, and she does at first, but ariane gets lonely

she and elster open up to each other, fall in love with each other, until 3000 cycles in, and they find out the truth, that they’ve failed their mission (through no fault of their own), and they will die out here

ariane will die from starvation or from radiation poisoning, or from the Promise

signalis to me is about 2 core things, about being stuck in a cycle/loop, repeating yourself over again, trying desperately to break free from and failing, and about contradictions of PARADOXES, and by their nature lead to each other!

the promise elster is asked to fulfill by ariane is never stated, but i think the literal one was to kill ariane, but i think the true promise, the unspoken one, is for them to die together.

ariane talks in a diary about how shes scared one of them will wake up one day but the other wont, the fear of one of them dying leaving the other alone

and so reality is warping, not just in sierpinski but in general, ariane and elster keep looping different lives (as we see in the tarot/planets/dream diary), but they cant break that cycle Lilith itou and alison seo of vineta, soldiers in love, left stranded by their nation, a soldier returning home alone

Isolde and erika of rostfront, the sisters (familial and sisterly love is still love!!), isolde left alone by her sister first

the grand empress of buyan, wedded one day, taking her life the next, presumably leaving their spouse alone

and ariane, born on leng!, and elster

(i mean also, Isa’s full name is literally isolde, left alone by tristan)

(also for isa and erika there’s weird stuff going on there i may come back and edit this later, but isa and erika’s journey parallels very obviously ariane and elster, isa’s appearance at the end, with the stabbed eye mirroring lilith her mom and elster after alder, but there is the parallels as well with isa’s injuries being similar to ariane, and with in german when isa sees ariane being bullied, that erika came to protect ariane not isa, and that this damaged their friendship.

but still this to me is still symbolic of elster and ariane, of isa failing to do what she needed to, which she regrets. a “fun” theory too is that in protecting ariane from the bullies is what gets erika killed, either in punishment which we know can be fatal cause Eusan Nation is fucked, or in getting sent away to reeducation in Leng which is where Isa went to look for her sister. again, parallels of how isa feels regret for not doing what she needed to, for hesitating the critical moment just like elster did.)

(and also theres heimat, the 6th life but heimat is the only one not mentioned in the dream diary, but also heimat just means home as far as i can tell in german? theres something there, of the 6th life that we dont see, that ariane doesnt dream about is of their life at “home”, at the capital of the Nation. something something heaven and hell, the promised land, a place where they may have been happy but never get to be, a place where they would be home together)

it’s all one big loop, the grand empress creatures the empire, which splinters into the empire and the nation, in their war lilith and alison meet, lilith gets used as the neural template for elster, lilith is presumably the mother of isa and erika, elster and ariane’s bioresonance leads to reality warping, leads to the grand empress, the start of it all, forever in a loop

they exist at the same time as each other, they create each other, because its all a contradiction, stuck and bound together in eternity, forever together, but always left grieving, the symbolic nature of grief feeling like a cycle, even when you think it’s over it comes back!

and it sucks and its painful, and each time you try to find a way out, to break the cycle of grief, but it feels like it never ends, it never stops

but the bittersweetness even in that, that even in grief they find each other still

they’ll always find each other, fate brings them to each other, and fate rips them away from each other

ooahHG it just. its so good.

ariane and elster are the contradiction too, of their lives that we see, ariane is the one that surives not elster, but there’s so much in that being half true

in “reality”, elster is still the one to survive not ariane, elster’s replika in a journal entry being stated to have been recovered and used as the neural template for future elsters, so even in death, she remains the one to survive

but in the dream, ariane is left alive while elster fails to fulfill her promise, she fails to kill ariane, and in a greater sense she fails to uphold the cycle! she died first, and so the cycles must continue, she has to kill ariane so she can die too

its all contradictions! they want to be together, even in death, but the promise is for one to kill the other, one survives the other, and the other survives them, both are true at the same time

ariane in her sleep, the red eye, the entity, the song, Nowhere underneath the surface of leng, some cosmic entity without form (more contradictions), deep in the earth, has a bioresonance with ariane, connecting with her in sleep in her eternal dreams

side note i love the imagery behind the Song cosmic entity, the idea of the a being that exists without form (cough cough disco elysium). as a kid the idea of tartarus, of gaia, nyx, and ouranus in greek myth being what they are was so sick. theses things that gave birth to the titans, these things that aren’t entities so much as they are just things. the earth, the night, the sky, and the void

and here the threat isn’t some big oogly woogly monster, it’s the song the bioresonant people hear and are in tune with!

the cosmic horror isnt some big scary monster, it’s just a SONG

it’s their song, it’s the song they dance to, it’s all the songs they dance to, it’s the symbol of their love, the signal of their love and their grief, it’s the broadcasted message, it’s why the signal that plays to them was the signal of the end, the alert message that came at 3000 cycles, resonating through time and space, their love and pain and grief for each other being so strong it bends reality, their love and their grief being what infects sierprinski, and now finally in the lily/artifact ending its what “breaks” the cycle

taken from mint, their love is the cosmic horror! their love is what strong enough it distorts their world around them!!!

and the mining facility digs too deep, connecting the waking world with the dreaming world, and falke enters the dreams, and comes out half falke half elster and to me half ariane, falke coming back changed

falke coming back as part of elster, and in her grief, elster’s grief, she sleeps too, changed and driven mad by it all, and in coming back she brings a part of elster back with her,

and in the end you have to fight her. you have to kill her to reclaim yourself. elster has to kill her, kill a part of herself to become whole again, to remember her promise, to remember what happened.

someone i know had a good ass line about it too “We Are All Falke, Driven To Madness By The Purity Of Their Love“

also? falke sleeps like ariane, during the plot of the game, but to me falke is doing what elster can’t. elster can’t sleep, can’t “die” like ariane can, and in sleep becomes one as well with ariane

which may be what’s making the corruption spread, her bioresonnance in her dreams spreading ariane’s nightmare of the red flesh, of the cancer from the radiation poisoning, as it only gets worse with each cycle that elster makes and tries, their pain spreading on and on

in some cycles she fails (leave ending), entirely to even enter, knowing what and who is inside, unwilling to confront it

in some cycles she makes it in (memory ending), but fails to uphold the promise, dying at ariane’s side, leaving ariane to survive, the dream continues, the cycle must continue

and even when she does fulfill the promise (promise ending), it doesnt break the cycle, she kills ariane but even if she dies too soon after, she dies alone, not together. death isnt anything more than eternal slumber. the dream continues.

then theres the lily ending, there’s some great analysis of the king in yellow by Chambers and the story of the Mask which features the white lily, but to paraphrase, the white lily is a symbol of rebirth, both biblically and in the story, in which the white lily and Genivieve are turned to marble (look to alison’s hair turning white like ariane’s??), but at the end of the story turn back to their original forms, but the eldritch horror aspect (i think hastur in the books?) hastur was what may have given the characters the solution, so the lily and genivieve can be interpeted to have returned as changed now, the same but different

but in the secret ending we offer up the lily on the Artifact, the thing that was found deep within leng, the 6 pillars of the 6 planets around a slab. 6 elsters, 6 lives of herself offered up to the artifact, the glowing fractal that’s on the slab

and just, the eye watching them as they dance in the penrose ship, but now the dilapidated version of their ship? ariane’s red eye in some shots in the endings, of ariane maybe ascension? there’s the lines in german before the offering, after picking up the white lily from the safe “and in those days people will seek death and not find it“, with red on black, and then

after the offering, “The mystery of this god is finished, as she announced it to her servants the prophets.“ with reversed colors

they suffered and sought out death and couldnt find it, always looping, always starting another cycle, and then as the offering is given, the mystery of this god is finished, judgment is here from god, this god, this song. the song is over. we see them dance again as the music fades in then it all fades to black. the cycle breaks not with the promise being fulfilled or broken, but with their death together, together in love, dancing together into the end.

and from it all, and this is me reaching for even a bittersweet ending, to me it’s the contradiction finally closing. they were stuck in a loop because they couldnt bear what should have been the end of the true loop. did they deserve to die? god no but it was their end right? they were meant to die in space, or crash landed on a planet, but they resisted.

they find out their fate cycle 3000, but ariane’s notes start with cycle 5xxx. 2000 more cycles, they fought to be with each other, to survive, every extra day together, every time they both woke up

and even after elster passed, even after ariane presumably passed, in her dream and nightmare they kept fighting. kept warping reality, kept trying again and again to find each other

i dont think the happy ending is in ascending to divinity, in perptuality, but i think its in this being their end, and finally for them their true promise, in being together, their happy ending.

in passing together, not alone. as it fades to black they’re in each others arms

and just because it’s their end doesnt mean its the end right? the entire game has been about about the cycles of fate, of life and death. its about a dream with a dream. a loop with a loop.

their loop’s ended but their loops goes on, a story about contradictions.

theyll find each other again, fall in love again, and be happy again. in another life theyll explore the world, see the ocean that elster reminds ariane of.