#im becoming tessa

[3416]

I am not ready for Mitch to be in his dad era!! He’s going to be responsible for a little being, and I just know he’s going to be great!! So weird though because even if he’s been around for a while and is not much younger than 88 and 44 or is the same age as 34, he feels sooooooo much younger 🥲

I don’t know if it’s his energy (e.g. throwback when he used to do Fortnite dances or when he did the griddy at his wedding) or just the way he still looks like a teenager or both. He’s just so 👼

But congratulations to him and his wife!

i know so many people who have been watching these guys since they were teens..... i'd probably lose my mind to see them start to have babies now if that were me 😭😭😭 even being so close in age to mitch n auston specifically i'm like you're having CHILDREN? but i am happy for them and they look so happy so <3 times a million

i think mitch will be an extremely cute dad if anything. i know a lot of ppl clown on him for being rather immature and feeling like a kid with like.. the interest in video games/who he namedrops or doesn't in media, but i do think we're seeing a new generation of guys become dads where hobbies don't exactly line up with what you typically expect so............. idk. i'm ready to see a little baby in a marner jersey and i hope we get to seeeee more uncle auston content bc god knows mo isn't gonna give us any 😭

[mxwhore]

what's the backstory for "it was bad"? 👀

amyas was born in a period where jmart were still finding their footing in SO many different ways. what they are referring in particular is the fact that is that Jon (and Martin to an extent) is still very much subjected to the fears and now struggles more with feeding, considering the quencies. For Amyas, it was better to see his dad turn into a huge beastie once a month that see him almost catatonic in his hunger/abstinence (which is happening in that comic)

[nezumiineko]

Who would you say me, you, and Doll are from your beloved show (murder drones)? /nfta /just curious if you've had thoughts on it before

you: alive tessa

doll: v (or doll necause its funny)

me: uzi (i could also be n)

i havent though about it before but!!!!!!

[jazzyblusnowflake]

OKAY SO

since yall wanted me to talk more about this Demon!Uzi and Hunter/Exorcist!N,V,J au I'm just gonna write down my ideas here just to get them out of my head-

thanks to @purrple-bat for helping with some of the ideas :D

some details may be nsfw cuz i mentioned it previously so that's your content warning🔞

also there may be plot holes and its not fully complete or whatever im just trying to get this out of my head 😭 main ship is NUziV // ViolentBitingBiscuits

the Au is an urban setting- not a forest and fantasy dnd kinda thing-

Tessa is the leader of several groups of teams that are demon hunters and exorcists.

J, V and N are in the same team and those are their codenames.

Uzi is a halfie, with Khan as the human parent and Nori as the demon parent. they are referred to as "Changelings" too.

Uzi cannot be exorcised from her demon side or she will become a mindless unresponsive zombie. methods have still not been found on how to exorcise these demons and disabling their powers without killing them, mostly due to the lack of anyone caring.

Demons feed on different things related to humans, mostly their emotions, with a heavy preference on fear, pain, anguish and etc

some more bolder demons will kill or drink blood of humans but even in the demons society that's a taboo and if any leads are traced back to you being a demon, you will be eliminated by your own kind before the humans can get to you.

Uzi was caught by accident, fully blended in as a human.

She's cheeky and likes making humans miserable and playing around with them, but she's not really one of the threatening ones, she doesn't want to or care about hurting them.

Doll is a full demon and is kinda like a sister figure to Uzi [but not really cuz sometimes they f-], always advising her to get away from humans and she might end up getting hurt or some shit.

Nori has multiple lovers, she feeds off the love and lust but she considers it a just a treat, she's actually one of the most powerful demons around and absolutely loves feeding off of nightmares, trauma, horror and dread. she does have a soft spot for khan tho as her only human lover. khan is generally just dumb for loving a demon as his wife. smh

Nori is a high ranked demon meaning she could share her energy with other demons if any of them would want to pass as normal humans and just live in society. also could send out demons to capture or punish one of their own for breaking rules.

Uzi starts out weak but upon capture, bluffs a lot about how powerful she is and that she likes to play around with them.

They keep Uzi to get information out of her about other demons.

On attempts at getting away she does end up getting closer to N.

Uzi likes feeding on misery and angst but the genuineness of Ns affections made her thirsty for more.

She ends up also getting closer to V from bantering and sometimes talking about stuff and etc and sometimes sparring and fights when she attempts to escape. N saves V at one point before Uzi did some real damage. V grew to actually respect her more after that.

Uzi was let go after a while since they checked and she wasn't really at a power level to threat anyone [much to Uzi's resentment that she could be powerful if she wanted to >:( ]

Hunters and exorcists have magical seals hacked into their bodies for protection. their arms have these symbols that can be used as weapons that appear in translucent shapes like claws and shields and swords. 5 pair of vertical eyes appear above their heads and a glowing X marks their face when they are using their powers- marking that the demon cannot get into their heads. their eyes glow gold once using their powers despite the original color of their eyes.

the same kind of powers and seals appear on demons but they don't hack it into their bodies, they gain it with ranks. demons have human forms and demon forms, changelings are just weaker from the beginning. unless they are possessed...

V and N start giving Uzi "treats" whenever she helps them out in catching more dangerous demons. this ranges from kisses, bites, their blood toooooo more intimate stuff :3 at first this starts out as an idea to get her to talk but after a while V couldn't help but to feel affection towards this pint sized little gremlin.

Uzi gets overwhelmed when she is showered with affection by being in the middle of V and N, she is touch and affection starved and she gets easily addicted to it, wanting to claim the two as her own.

V and N putting seals on Uzi that makes her enjoy their touches and intimacy more but edging her and keeping her from releasing until she gives them the info they need. Uzi probably would tell them the info anyway- she just likes to see how far she could handle the two before she breaks into a begging, pleading mess.

Uzi purrs and does everything in her power to keep anyone from finding out...

Drinking demon blood makes Hunters gain more power, and drinking human blood makes demons feel pleasure and ecstasy as well as gaining more power, especially if the human is a hunter/magic user.

Uzis wings are sensitive and she likes to clean them with a wet cloth. N and V like to help her with this. and her tail mouth too lol.

The demons have a hellish demon sect that even they all fear... i think you can guess who the head of it is...

Aaaaand i think thats all for now idk. bye- //exploads

[mattszombie]

FAKING IT || M.STURNIOLO

CHAPTER ONE ||

a/n: OMG FIRST CHAPTER! im so excited for you guys to read it!!! im already working on the second chapter. hopefully you guys like it, also feel free to add requests or stuff you would like to see happen! YOU ARE TESS!

tw/cursing, that’s really all

Tessa Coleman stormed out of the athletic office, barely stopping herself from slamming the door behind her. The second she was in the hallway, she spun on her heel to face the one person she despised most in the world.

Matthew Sturniolo strolled out after her, hands shoved in his hoodie pockets, looking like he didn’t just get the worst news of his life. Like he wasn’t just told that, for the rest of the season, they were stuck working together as co-captains.

Tess folded her arms, lifting her chin. “The girls have the field today. Five-thirty.”

Matt barely reacted. Just nodded once, his face unreadable. “Got it.”

She narrowed her eyes at how… easy that was. No argument? No complaints? He didn’t even make a dumb comment about her bossing him around.

But she didn’t question it. Instead, she shot him one last glare before turning on her heel and walking away.

As soon as she was out of sight, Matt pulled out his phone, opening the boys’ lacrosse group chat. His fingers flew across the screen.

Matt: Field. 5:00. Be there.

A few texts popped up immediately.

Ethan: Don’t we usually have it at 6?

Chris: What’s up?

Matt: New arrangement. Just be there.

He locked his phone and slipped it back into his pocket, a smug smirk tugging at his lips.

Tess wanted the field at 5:30? Fine. She could try to take it.

Tess pulled into the parking lot, already irritated before she even stepped out of her car. She had a routine—her routine. Show up early, set up for practice, get in the right headspace before the girls arrived. But as she glanced at the field, her blood boiled.

The boys’ team was already there.

And at the center of it all, looking as smug as ever, was Matthew Sturniolo.

Muttering a string of curses under her breath, she reached for her lacrosse stick and the bucket of balls. As she shifted in her seat, she noticed how snug her old shorts had become over time. A thought flickered through her mind, a slow smirk forming on her lips.

If Matt wanted to pull petty moves, she could play that game too.

With one quick tug, she hiked her shorts up just a little more—just enough to cause a problem for him. She grabbed her gear and stepped onto the field.

It worked immediately.

As she walked, heads turned.

“Damn, Coleman’s showing off today.”

“She always look like that in practice?”

“Nah, this is different.”

Tess ignored them, keeping her eyes locked on Matt as she made her way to the middle of the field. He hadn’t turned around yet, but the way his teammates were reacting, she knew it wouldn’t take long.

Finally, he glanced over his shoulder.

His smirk faded for half a second before it was back, stronger than ever. He stood taller, arms crossing over his chest as she approached.

She stopped right in front of him, barely leaving space between them. “I already called the field, Sturniolo. Get off. Come back when the girls are done.”

Matt tilted his head, unfazed. “Well, we got here first.”

Tess scoffed. “That’s not how it works.”

“It is today.”

Her jaw tightened. “Fine. We’re splitting the field. The girls get here in fifteen.”

Matt let out a slow exhale, eyes flickering down briefly before meeting hers again. “Fine,” he said. Then, louder, so his teammates could hear, he added, “But pull down the shorts.”

Tess’s brow lifted.

Matt smirked. “I always knew you loved attention, but I didn’t know you wanted mine.”

Tess let out a sharp laugh before flipping him off and walking away.

Matt chuckled under his breath, shaking his head as he turned back to his team.

Fifteen minutes later, the girls arrived, taking their half of the field and warming up. Tess stood on the sidelines, arms crossed as she watched.

She was still fuming.

Not just because of Matt’s pettiness, but because this was how it was going to be all season. Him testing her patience. Her refusing to back down. And the worst part? She wasn’t sure which one of them was going to crack first.

That was when she saw him walking toward her.

Matt strolled up, stopping right in front of her. The girls were running drills. The boys were still practicing. And yet, here he was, wasting time just to piss her off.

“Next time, if I’m here with the boys, just cancel your practice,” he said casually, like it was a simple request.

Tess scoffed. “I had already called the field, so next time, don’t act like a bitch.”

Matt’s smirk twitched, but he covered it with a laugh. “You’re so dramatic.”

“And you’re so insufferable.”

They went back and forth, voices growing sharper.

“You don’t run this field, Coleman.”

“Neither do you, Sturniolo.”

“You’re such a control freak.”

“And you’re just afraid of competition.”

It went on like that until finally, Matt rolled his eyes and walked off, shaking his head.

He rejoined his team, and immediately, a few of the guys started nudging him.

“Dude,” one of them laughed, “you and Coleman are actually gonna kill each other.”

“Or hook up,” another muttered.

Matt shot him a glare. “Shut up.”

But they kept talking, all of them looking over at Tess as she shouted directions to her team.

“She’s kinda hot when she’s mad,” one of them said.

Matt stayed quiet, staring at her for a second too long before shaking his head and turning back to the game.

This was gonna be a long season.

heheheh chapter 2 comin soon!!

[travelersspark]

IM BACK! 🌟

Literally when on break since I've been busy with college and work😅. Now I can get back into the swing of things ! Since I'm here , might as well make a new headcanons post ~♡

𝑷𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝑻𝑳𝑲 .ᐟ 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝑮𝑵.ᐟ𝑯𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

𝑶𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒖𝒔

First off. Cayde had a meeting with you at your local job. You and Cayde were close since he practically raised you along with Tessa . You were running late and Cayde was inside Optimus. Optimus had heard about you but never thought much about it.

He'd ask about you to Cayde and Cayde talked fondly of you so Optimus could sort of trust you. So could Cayde. Hence why he was gonna finally explain to you whats been going on for the past year.

Of course you are insanely confused when you get in the truck and Cayde starts being cryptic saying. “ Y/N. You know you can trust me right ? I would always tell you if somethings up.. ” -Cayde

You are dumbfounded at first while the silent drive fills the cabin with awkwardness. Then it hit you. “ Have you been looking for girls on tinder Cayde?! God I swear - ” - Y/N.

Facepalm from Cayde. Optimus almost laughed in his alt form but Cayde coughs before having to disprove your idiotic suspicion. He basically rushes an explanation of the autobots and decepticons and everything that has happened for the past year since you haven't really seen him.

Annnnnnnnndddd. Your not buying it. After the drive he tries explaining more but you brush it off basically just tired from work and chalking up his excuses to him being tired and or drunk.

Well.. until you see a group of vehicles strolling around and stopping with their headlights nearly blinding you (Kind of like the introduction the team from TF1) and with some loud noises and rumbling. You see them. Giant robots standing among you.

You Fucking FREAK. Definitely bout to be ready to throw some shit. Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK CAYDE ! Cayde has to mostly calm you down as well as Optimus surprisingly trying as well explaining that they would never hurt you.

After a couple of minutes of losing your shit. Optimus introduced himself explain his motives and his following. Your still apprehensive but sort of star struck. Ootimus's voice and tone was totally different than his remorseful and sort of stern tone. It even surprised Cayde.

Optimus certainly finds you intriguing due to the stories Cayde told him Since you now know of thier existence they have to basically become your body guards in a sense. You don't mind it but you still have your worries. Mostly about the part with the decepticons.

He reassures that he would do anything to try and keep you and the other humans safe.

A couple of banter from the crew but with one Stern glance of Optimus they shut it.

You two might have a quite interesting partnership - in a good way.

𝑩𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒆𝒆

oh. This mute bot is EXCITED to meet you ! He was the first one to transform and show himself to you after optimus.

Kind of flustered and worried when you lost your cool about seeing them. But after he calms his excitement and lets his leader explain himself.

He flashes his sick moves which makes you smile and laugh a bit. He gladly would do it again to make you smile.

Bee is one of the first bots you considerably found yourself talking to.

When you found out he couldn't speak like the others and communicated through a radio, you though he was quite a special bot.

He's like you in a way. You to pair together so well. Bee thinks of you like his old partner Sam.

Oh. He can get protective of you. Mainly when Crosshairs or Hot Rod get a bit flirtatious or silly around you.

Casually offers a drive after a few hours of meeting which you don't really refuse. You had to admit. He was a dream ride of yours.

Its love at first sight in his eyes. He already finds himself crushing on you from day one. And he hopes that you stick around with him.

𝑪𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒔

God another Squishy thing?! Let's just say he wasn't amused.

Well until you basically cursed the hell out of Cayde. Now he's impressed

Now he's made it his mission to figure out what makes you tic.

Weirdly he can he either considerate or just a complete jerk. But a loveable one at that.

He finds himself always trying to be flirtatious with you. But when you do it back he gets completely flustered and curses you out (his love language according to drift)

Fights about the miniscule things with you. Like if you eat in his alt form and there's a crumb he's gonna scold you.

Never saw himself being friends with a human but he would definitely enjoy his company with you.

First meeting him he is pretty serious about not wanting you around a bit but it shifts to wanting to hang with you more.

You two are FUCKIN GREMLINS TOGETHER. yall annoy the hell out of optimus and cade at times. God you two are a mess

Starts out as not being protective of you to being ULTRA protective. Mans always worried about you but tries to play it off.

𝑯𝒐𝒕 𝑹𝒐𝒅

Omg him and Bumblebee fell HARD for you when Cade introduced you to the crew. Literally he couldn't stop gawking at you.

Already trying to one up everyone else with his flirtatious and suave energy.

Placed a bet with bee to see if you'd like him more.

First to offer you rides from work, school or whatever. (He figured you showing up in his alt form would make you popular or cool. And he wasn't wrong either.)

Immediately asks Optimus to assign him as your guardian. Let me tell you, he is smitten by you and in the best way possible.

Says small pet names in french

Arrogant little bastard. Can't take any hints when you need space.

Overall hes just wanting time with you but doesn't exactly understand the idea of patience is a virtue.

𝑯𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅

Another human huh. Cool, hope they useful type energy.

Hes pretty chill about it to be honest. Definitely hesitant at the idea but understand where Cade is coming from.

Would personally introduce himself to you if you find him a bit intimidated. Secretly he's a big softie and jokes terrible behind closed doors.

Once he finds out you are just as handy as Cade is hes all over you. Don't expect him.to leave you alone with random weapon scraps and ideas he has in his head.

Probably would take you out to test some grenades with him or something.

Pretty protective on first meet. Mostly since he knows he can keep you safe with his experience and skills in war.

If you don't like the sight of anything remotely similar to cigars and smoke. He would actually stop puffing his bullet in front of you out of respect.

Doesn't care much about your habits as long as you don't get your ass in trouble that is.

Not the type to drive you around since he's a big ass military vehicle and that would definitely cause alot of suspicions.

𝑫𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒕

Not bothered but skeptical of your arrival. Let's just say he isn't too fond of the idea of another human around

Probably would discuss his concerns to cade and optimus about the risks but would be told that it was mostly for the best.

He gives up and pretends you just another one of the bots.

Pretty distant at first since he's still weary of you.

But if you compliment him during training of something and use the right terminology of the kata forms and martial arts he will definitely open up to you.

He appreciates someone who can understand his dedication. As well as someone educated in the sacred arts of Japanese and Chinese traditions.

Offers meditation lessons after some time if you are willing to do so.

Silent but deadly type of protective.

Has fought with crosshairs one time.when he was picking on you.

Very tsundere at first but overall he knows you are a good person and wouldn't mind getting to learn more about you

[kit-kat-jo]

i really need a cyn au badly guys. just imagine. uzi eats the solver, tessa’s body fades away but cyn is left behind. her core is intact and completley void of the solver, it’s in uzi now. her eyes are white because uzi sapped away the yellow in hers. cyn’s still small and her limbs are still janky, her movements shakey, even moreso without fleshy insides weighing her down. she doesn’t have a voice, or at least forgets how to talk for a while, because the solver has been talking through her for so long. she has a horrible, horrible time, dealing with hazy memories of things she wasn’t in control of, of horrible things the solver did through her, all the souls trapped within that died by her body’s hands. n and uzi agree to take her in, to help her through it. v adjusts as she learns that she’s somebody completely different, apart from the solver, someone she never truly knew. she becomes n’s little sister, but for real this time. she becomes all of theirs.

someone help make this au with me im so srs

[so-i-say-no-to-status-quo]

tessa: im becoming elon musk's nightmare

james: im collecting money for tessa's bail fund

[bookwyrmonastring]

Just realized I can talk about my AUs on here so here is the most deranged swap au known to man

J swaps with Tessa

And Cyn swaps with the Absolute Solver

The solver as a drone isn't here but I'm gonna brief yall on a couple more characters before revealing Cyn's deal to build suspense.

When Tessa rose again as a zombie drone, she was badly hurt, and would have died again in days had Jade Elliot not saved her. She became obsessed with her rebirth and sought to understand the secrets of life and death, especially how they affected drones (she's so victor Frankenstein coded I love her).

This journey took her to a scrapyard where she met a runway drone who had modified herself with the trash there: Uzi (she was swapped with Alice in an early version of the au, so some remnants of that linger). Uzi has digitigrade legs, toe beans, purely cosmetic bug antenna, and IR and night vision. She's also kinda rusty. (Also uzi in this au takes some inspiration from @solroskajan's Rebel Or Runaway au go check her stuff out it's awesome.) The two engineers quickly become friends, and eventually Tessa brings N and V to meet Uzi. V falls in love at first sight, and immediately panics bc she doesn't want to be disloyal to N, who she hasn't even confessed to yet. Eventual Envuzi bc its my otp/ot3. Anyway back to crimes against nature.

Tessa is just as into the occult as in canon, so she's trying to summon demons and shit (with Uzi's help of course). Eventually she succeeds (and nearly disintegrates into a pile of rust in the process) and gives an entity known as The Ultimate Parasite a physical form.

The Parasite of the Ultimate Fertilizer, The Rot, The Inevitable Dawn: Cyn (she/it pronouns as is my general headcanon for her)(yes im projecting) is an eldritch goddess of death, time, and rebirth. She is based around the idea that destruction is just transformation and thus, is creation. Predation, parasitism, rot; smashing a statue with a hammer creates a pile of dust as surely as sculpting creates a statue. It has a fungal and parasitic wasp motif, and is, well, about the way you'd expect an eldritch goddess of time to act. She's distant, she's seen thousands of civilizations rise and fall and it Knows that everything is temporary, knows it surer than it knows anything else. Needless to say, having a conversation with it usually results in existential dread. If anyone draws her I would die (in a good way). All that's set for her appearance it's that it is Mushroom and has wasp mandibles.

Oh also I forgot to mention that Jade still does her buzzword gimmick from canon but sarcastically. Goodness she's so sarcastic.

Asks welcome, and to finish off here's all my AUs listed from least to most self-explanatory: Cyn-tinal, Sibling Swap, Pokemon!AU, N kills Yeva

[yukkoislost]

everything is going to be okay.

boo

basil's here :)

or rather uzi hehheehe

i was contemplating the role of basil for a while since canon cyn only had so many friends,, so i put uzi in there because (bear with my logic) canonically she wanted to kill humans and the DD trio wouldn't hurt tessa since she saved them?? so i used uzi instead because it was that or an oc,,

did that make any sense

probably not

anyway !!! heres the part where i explain personalities because there will inevitably be some personality swaps here and there from the actual omori characters to this au characters,,

tessa is pretty much like mari and holds the group together like glue, helpful and kind and always trying her best for everybody else

N and kel are also pretty similar, though after N grows up he takes on more of hero's vibe? taking after the job of tessa in order to make sure that everyone is okay/coping and bringing cyn out of her house (following sunny's route)

V and aubrey are also pretty similar, after tessa's death she tries first to make up for the missing spot that tessa filled but it doesnt work and everyone drifts away, and she grows resentful that nobody was there because everybody coped differently,, speaking of which she does in fact get new friends (following aubrey becoming the leader of the hooligans, tho i probably wont use that group name,, haven't decided on it yet)

J and hero,, arent very similar? taking hero's spot, shes more sarcastic and unafraid to speak her mind as a child but she toned down the meanness because tessa was around. after tessa's death she straight up drifts away and took the first chance she got to move away to study. i'm contemplating adding slight j x tessa here but im not sure yet

uzi and basil are also not very similar,, the only thing ill make similar is their personalities when they were kids with uzi being more uh? gentle? in a sense?¿ reverse uzi,, after tessa's death she distances herself away too in guilt and also becomes over defensive

uzi doesnt take photographs here, instead she draws :3

[akaikali]

TMAGP SEASON 2 EP 1 REACTION (SPOILERS)

OH. OKAY. SO WE'RE PICKING UP IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SEASON 1 FINALE. OKAY THEN.

so its just colin's hand??? not his entire body??? i mean, clearly he's become part of the system, right? like im assuming he TURNED into a system, like wires for blood kind of situation???

gwen you absolutely infuriating woman please get fucked (literally) i think it would really do you some wonders. find someone to dom you please im asking nicely it would do you So Much Good

OH. HAND'S GONE. GREAT. COLIN GOT EATEN BY THE COMPUTER AND NOW THE ONLY PROOF THEY HAD OF THAT IS GONE. LOVELY.

OH. OKAY. OKAY WOW. SO. firstly, jmj=null??? its not .jmj error rn??? and also "extension BECHER" so yes colin is become part of the system. and im assume the computer recording we're hearing is from...inside of him or something.

CROWBAR. YOU'RE JOKING. THIS HAS TO BE ON PURPOSE. BRUTAL PIPE URDER VS BRUTAL CROWBAR MURDER. EXCEPT THE CROWBAR WAS KIND OF SELF MURDER.

oh. oh thats. thats fucked. this is so sergey ushanka coded. tessa winters how i miss you my autistic girl with a tech special interest <3

hmmm okay thats strange. "self.host errors resolved" but ".jmj error not resolved"? but also now its like. if what happened to colin happened to jmj and THATS why they're in the system...my poor babies. except for jonah. jonah fucking deserved that.

new administrator permissions assigned?? TO WHO???? COLIN HAD ADMIN PERMISSIONS BEFORE, WHO HAS THEM NOW???? I THINK WHOEVER IT IS PROBABLY HAS FREDDY'S TARGET ON THEM.

"it sounds like the system was...provoked" SHUT UP GWEN YOU ARE SO FRUSTRATING YOU ARE JUST LIKE UR PREDECESSOR (our dear jarchavist)

"no, no, i'm sure we can leave!...Um. Freddie. Can we leave?" gwen i fucking love you, you stupid fucking dumbass <3

so like i also wanna know what alice knows about lena because CLEARLY, she knows that lena would know how to deal with this. also slightly concerned that lena might be dead seeing as she had uh. no exit interview. the government might have just nerfed her.

gwen acting all tough and like she's in charge but immediately running after alice and going "wait, wait for me!" because she's scared of being alone with the murder computer is SO funny

HELLO????? SAM???? MY BOY MY POOR DEAR BOY ARE YOU GOOD?????? listen i know we have mixed opinions on sam but like. come on. the man still fought off the archivist to protect celia when it came after her.

repeated by something. why is that underlined in the transcript. are there...are there like tape recorder creatures. is that whats happening here.

celia. celia honey no. i know you've got a kid and everythin but like sam is NOT okay. my girl, you sacrificed him and used him. and on top of all of that, you've lied to alice about all of this. this is going to end so badly.

"i...recognized it from a case" celia honey i know you can lie better than that. come on. you know alice does NOT believe that.

OH. THATS NOT FUN. THE PHOTOCOPIER PRINTING COLIN'S FACE EVEN WHEN UNPLUGGED. YEAH THAT IS VERY VERY SERGEY UNSHANKA. LOVING THAT. but also honestly valid coping mechanism alice you gotta make the dark jokes or you will break down.

IM SORRY YOU HAVE TO WHISTLE SOMETHING HAPPY TO MAKE THE ECHO MONSTERS LEAVE??? AND SAM CHOOSES FUCKING CIRCUS MUSIC??? "Not circus music, you cretin!" PLEASE IM DYING THIS IS SO FUNNY okay greensleeves is somewhat better.

OH MY GOD ITS GEORGIE ITS WIFE SHE'S BACK I MISSED YOU MY GIRLLLL she's always here for celia i love her. i think she knows whats going on. vaguely.

"But I just want you to know I think things are looking up. All going well, this should be the last zero-notice call out" "We'll see" GEORGIE WHAT DO YOU KNOWWWWW

"i want a solicitor" oh honey :((( even after being dragged into another dimension he first asks for a lawyer. i don't know if that was intentional but with him clearly being a brown man :((((

GEORGIE???? SHE'S. WHAT. CAPTAIN OF THE WARDENS???? "lacks the military mannor one might expect" IS THIS OUR TMA GEORGIE???? WHAT??????????????

"you got a ride in Gertrude" A RIDE IN WHAT NOW???? ARE YOU TELLING ME THEY NAMED A FUCKING TANK OR SOMETHING AFTER GERTRUDE????? okay wait if this is TMA verse then melanie would be around and melanie knows about gerrtrude's explosives so that. checks out actually.

oh celia. celia your web of lies is going to come back to haunt you. i know you cant tell them but at the same time they are going to find out the truth eventually and alice might straight up chuck you into the "tear" herself.

"licensing issues?" alice i love you never change

"How convenient that your only proof is sat in an inbox I can’t read in case it tries to eat me." "It did not 'eat' Colin! The system just… responded to an attack." "By eating Colin." dyhard how i adore you.

OHHHH ARCHIVIST CREATURE FOLLOWED SAM WE KNEW THIS OFC FROM THE TRAILERRRR

okay so. wait. is. was heidi a watcher???? like when the eyepocalypse happened, was she touched by the eye? like she seems like what i would have expected to happen to someone like amy patel.

oh my god we're getting to find out what LONDON was like during the eyepocalypse. whatever the creatures that were hunting down georgie, melanie, and their little cult was. oh my god.

OKAY SO THIS IS DEF TMA-VERSE "Not when the tower fell and the eye closed. Not when the pupil collapsed and the Archivist died, his face still burned into my mind." BUT ALSO FUCK ME NOOOOO IS JARCHAVIST REALLY DEAD NOOO NO NO HE'S SOMEWHERE ELSE I AM IN DENIAL HE'S ELSEWHERE HE AND MARTIN ARE LIVING IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE HAPPY IN THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS

oh heidi. bye bye heidi.

WOW WHAT A START TO THE SEASON. WE GOT SO MUCH. I HAVE NEVER SAID "WHAT THE FUCK" THIS MANY TIMES IN A ROW BEFORE. GERTRUDE IS A VEHICLE NOW. WHAT THE FUCK.

[mysummerchild]

HERONDAISY HEADCANON TIME goooo (i miss them and am not normal about them)

YES HERONDAISY IS ONE OF MY TOP SHIPS!!

• james and cordelia travel somewhere new every year, and keep memories of the trips in their "planning room"

• they keep up their games and questions tradition every night, adding foreign games they learnt on their travels and eventually ones they made up themselves to the mix to keep things interesting (the rules for each game are incredibly complex and only the two of them understand them)

• james does cordelia's hair in the mornings and she ties his tie. it becomes a routine with them, and it's not that cordelia can't do her own hair or james can't tie his tie, it's the casual intimacy they both enjoy. (had to put this in here because of how obvious it is in the books that james has a thing for her hair)

• eventhough the rest of the gang does get married and have their own houses, i feel like their house would be the default one for hangouts because they got married first. everyone who's in london at the time come for weekly dinners, which often turn to sleepovers and the merry thieves sleeping on the floor

• they also often have dinner with will and tessa at the institute which becomes a big gathering with the whole pseudo-family every month

• james' love language is gift giving (which we can clearly see) so cordelia often finds random, meaningful gifts all over curzon street, and always does the biggest grin when she sees them

• cordelia's is a mix of quality time and acts of service, so she almost always makes them ditch social calls and just sit and talk for hours in their study (james loves it and purposefully accepts invites to many events so this can happen as frequently as possible)

these are some hcs i came up with! im obsessed with them being in love <33

[mxwhore]

hiya! Just curious- as an avid doorkeay shipper, ive noticed you only have jongerry/gerrymartin/jongerrymartin here. And honestly its awakened a new ship in me!! But, do you think you would ever do any doorkeay(gerry x Michael)? You don’t have to but im curious do you ship it at all? Genuine questions, sorry- this all sounds kinda mean reading it back, but very genuine curious questions here!! Do you have any reasons against shipping doorkeay or is it just not your cup of tea? Or are you more neutral/positive and just haven’t made any content of it?

im more fond of the 'michael is gerrys stepdad' interpretation

[stillmadaboutpetra]

shadowboxing the role of son” oh god oh fuck#he doesn't mean to do it. really. but he can't stand to be in his own home anymore. the smell of lemon clorox wipes and the dust-free lamps#the way she looks at him. the way she sighs when she knows he's just around the corner#he misses benson. he wants benson that's all. so he camps in his room. he likes the clutter. the layered posters and pictures on the wall#the old tech esp the tube tv. benson's got a little horror vhs collection and randy wraps himself in benson's quilt and watches them all#it's not his fault it's ma's house too. or that she has to keep coming in to turn off the light and the tv when he passes out#or that he only knows her as ma. doesn't know her name. never asked#two women had sons. one mother lost hers. the math doesn't change. not even when randy takes up smoking. shaves the sides of his hair.#starts sleeping there on purpose#one mother grieving. one son gone. everyone wishes it was different#anyway whether or not i end up writing 6k words about this. thank u for the playground my weensdly brain loves it

CAN YALL STOP

do you think randy thinks about bensons ma. wonders how she reacted to the news. if she has any other family. if she's doing okay. if anyone's taking care of her. if anyones gonna get her smokes. what kind of funeral she's holding for benson, if he gets ones. if anyone else would go to it. if she had to identify his body. if she blames randy for it. sees her in court one day. his own mom pulls him away.

[jazzyblusnowflake]

You've got some cool headcanons for Nuzi and Vuzi, but what about the third? You got any for EnVy?

Wow i suck at answering these on time smh. sighhhh, in my defense i procrastinate answering some questions cuz i don't wanna just put together some random stuff and call it a day-

i actually wrote some stuff for some asks before but had to delete it last minute cuz i thought its worth putting more time than that, i guess TvT sorry, im probably taking this too seriously idk.

My eNVee headcanons TvT:

[yall know the drill, the drone versions only, the human versions aren’t involved, and no nsfw- for now.]

k so, light envuzi involved too, Uzi is the mediator here, whether u consider her a friend here or their mini toaster in the middle- also there's some of the stuff from my future version where V is safe and sound thankfully. and also maybe some stuff from their past too.

With how N was realizing that V was lying or hiding stuff from him in a constant manner, naturally he grew to grieve the loss of who V USED to be, and with that loss he tried to accept that he has to let her go, because the V he fell in love with was long gone. despite this, when they both started teasing each other over their relationship with Uzi and N started to bite back a bit at Vs behaviors with more self confidence, they grew to form a completely different kind of relationship. Uzi was just having fun seeing them try to win her over lmao; but in the end they kind of started enjoying eachothers company again. Uzi felt happy seeing them get closure for the things they went through and was more than happy to support them through it.

Back at the manor V was fixed up after J and N, she was one of the later drones added to the family, she hardly spent much time at the manor at all before the great yeetening happened- she was originally a maid drone for a family before she was broken and dumped in the drone corpse junkyard. Maid drones are programmed with sweet and soft AIs with more round/short body shapes to have a friendly image in a household, they are made to be able to deal with both adults and kids, and they are best made for cleaning and setting up the house in mind. N was made as a butler/chauffeur before getting broken and yeeted in the junkyard [yes he can drive]. Due to V getting broken for some sort of mistake during work, she was left scarred after her reboot to make any more mistakes, which left her slightly jitter-ish and clumsy. Tessa put N in charge to help her around and although at the beginning V didn't talk much and felt unsure, slowly N became her safe space- especially since Tessas abusive parents remind V alot of her old household. N in turn thought V was always cute, he helped her with her work, having more steady hands, which ended with a lot more hand touching and blushing on both their ends :p

N was the one that suggested glasses for V which Tessa decided to try doing to see if it would help her visual efficiency in any way, and it did. V as a DD often tries to rely on her real eyes rather than look through her main visor, the glasses remind her too much of N...

N and V sometimes used to get out of the manor in secret spots to spend some time away from the chaos to help V calm down. during this time they would read books, learn stuff from each others past lives, and sometimes draw lol, but V just liked watching and listening to N, she felt happy with him. although unlike N, V felt a bit nervous around the animals in the area XD

N and V actually have shared kisses, just not on the lips. with N kissing her on the back of her hand as a gentleman and V giving him kisses on his cheek [Tessa's idea of a cute plan to put them under a mistletoe lol], but Vs last words to N was a promise to give him a kiss before she became comatose. as more drones in the manor stopped working and Ns efficiency and work became less useful to the manors occupants due to him wanting to spend time with V all the time, Louisa and James started becoming more impatient with Tessa's drones, which lead to the whole "get rid of them" line...

back in the current time V is obviously trying to protect N in her own traumatized way; but even then, most of the things she had done to "shelter" N, was probably not the best choice one could make, and some of it was done out of jealousy towards N and Uzi getting closer. However, slowly she started convincing herself that N deserved someone like Uzi. V had convinced herself that she deserves nothing. She was willing to give up everything for N and keep him safe from the beginning, even if it meant knocking N down a few limbs/heads just to keep him away from danger- which is problematic in itself. she made choices based off fear and urgency. she was always traumatized.

When N and V started getting along together a bit more and hanging around a bit in the human cities- V takes N to a bookstore she found once and they spent the whole day in the shelter of the store reading different old books. V still does not admit she did this to see N happy again lol.

When N started showing V affection again, V started becoming heavily touch starved and dependent on him again, just like the manor days, which she feared, which caused a minor set back for a while where she tried to avoid N. Uzi had to come and fix this shit cuz apparently only she can scold 2 dinosaurs without feeling intimidated. after N and V kiss for the first time PROPERLY after the whole solver BS ends, V just gets more touch starved and she hates both N AND Uzi for this lmao.

N and Uzi know that one of the only ways to make V calm down is to act soft with her, occasionally praising her and calling her nice things; even when V is literally threatening to bite their head off- [shes bluffing-.......mostly.]

N is usually the one that initiates any closeness with V. after their first kiss, N does tell her that she's done stuff that he might not be able to casually forgive, but at the same time he has seen her grow, and she does have good in her that he still loves her for.

V has nightmares and hardly ever sleeps, and when she does, its usually cuddling N or Uzi.

V tries to wear her glasses more often in the future. N likes it a lot :"3

V is surprisingly a good mom :p [spoilers for my au lmao bye] but yeah, since her original OS was for a maid, she still has some functions to be good with little ones. she cant help herself, she just really likes babies and kids.

N likes sometimes ballroom dancing with V for old times sake...

[i think this is as far as my brain will allow me, please excuse me as i jump off a cliff :") ]

[watercat678]

I know a lot of people probably think Cyn and the AS are different, but here’s my two cents on this.

i also used to believe that but now I dont, or at least I dont believe AS is in control.

Mainly because the version of Cyn we constantly see is the only one we’ve ever seen, and before you bring up her at the start of 5, I’ll get to that as well.

The only time its said AS and Cyn are different comes from “Tessa” who is already unreliable due to her being Cyn.

If someone else, like Nori, said they were different then I would believe it, but I dont. Before you go and use the credits as an excuse, keep in mind even in episodes where they call it the solver, the characters refer to her as Cyn, and Im more inclined to use their idea.

now lets talk about AS, AS is just a program, simple as that. A mutated and dangerous program but a program nonetheless. AS helps Cyn at the beginning of 5 with some interesting dialogue.

However, the way it says this implies to me its just stating what it has observed that Cyn went through after being killed by the Elliots (presumedly). Because Cyn passes the percentage check for a mutation and reviving (a zombie drone can occur without a mutation, N V and J are evidence of this), it means she now has access to AS, and because AS is just a program, it gives her a choice.

However, Cyn doesnt know that she’ll likely revive anyways even if she said no, so she probably chose yes out of desperation. Because of this, AS gives her its powers, and Cyn quickly becomes adapt at using the solver and begins to get horrible ideas in her head based on the way the humans treated her.

Cyn can feel emotions, but in a slightly different way from normals drones/humans. For ex. Cyn does care about N, but more so as a toy it can use for her amusement, beyond that Cyn probably does not see N as a person, and will kill anyone who tries to take her toy and get to close to it, (Tessa, V, Uzi).

However, despite the solver being a program, it can still do things, even go so far as to take control of a DD when Cyn is busy playing “dress up”. We now come to EJ.

The solver follows any order given to it by Cyn, plus, since the DDs have a downgraded version of the solver, The Solver will attempt to repair the hosts under the orders of the dominant host (Cyn). Basically, EJ is what the solver would be like if it was actually in control and it wasn’t Cyn, which also explains why it refers to themself as though there is many of it.

You can choose to not believe me, but I’ve been seeing a lot of the whole Cyn being in Uzi’s tail means N is dating his sister, or people who just want to believe Cyn is innocent and I just wanted to provide an explanation. N would still not be dating Cyn though, because

N and Cyn arent related

Only Cyn called N a brother, but she never actually viewed him as one.

Plus, if Cyn and the AS are different, that would mean Cyn never had a character and basically wouldn’t exist, and theres no fun in that.