#im balancing all of this w other shit? like ok YOU be mentally ill and financially dependent on ur family and unemployed AND taking care of

[ji-lixie]

im not saying a hug from cheol would fix me or my problems but i think itd heal me in some way

[riphimopen]

i'm watching the Halloweens for the first time these days (skipping the third one and the sixth one bc fuck off obviously) and you're the michael expert in my eyes i wanna know EVERYTHING you think of him and how do you feel about the rob zombie version etc etc <3 thank youuuu

IM THE EXPERT????? OH BOY IM SMOOCHING YOU no youre making the right choices FUCK 3 6 and FUCK rz. ok here we go let me just talk abt the movies first

west coast best coast first movie best movie PERIOD obv im all for expanding on mikes character and shit etc but 1978 said THERE IS A FUCKED UP GUY PERIOD. THATS IT. and i really admired their dedication to lack of detail. like if i was just gonna watch one and done? first movie has mike, jamie lee curtis, and murders, and thats really all you need. plus obv cinematography and soundtrack

H2 is where we get BALLING its got explosions doctors MORE JAMIE LEE CURTIS and ofc...... my favorite plot twist on da planet lol <333 personally i love the sibling twist bc its funny as SHIT. h2 is a good one. ending wild as shit

h3 not real #girl

h4 and 5......... UGH ok i love jamie lloyd sm she a baby fr and one of the best things to happen to the franchise. WE DO NOT TALK ABT THE THORN CURSE OR H6 THEY R NOT REAL overall 4+5 as a package deal are solid and have some good moments, if you can get past the stupid druid shit and the man in black theres lots to expand on mikes character and make you HATE sam loomis

h20 is the FUNNIEST SHIT on the planet. PERIOD LMAOO LIKE??? this was really the Laurie Off Tha Shits movie and i think they were SO brave for that i personally dont keep it main cannon in my little brain but its extremely funny and i love the emphasis on sibling dynamic. its so good and by the end ur yelling like YES thats what horror characters SHOULD have done

resurrection................... GOD well. i wish jlc couldve done the whole thing but she didnt. and mike gets electrocuted in da balls by Busta Rhymes so thats really all there is to that one

now on the rob zombie shit. asides from the EXTREME amount of nudity and sex scenes in that shit, asides from all the other things that dont work w those movies, THE THING THAT IRKS ME IS THAT HE TRIED TO REMAKE JASON. he tried to make michael into a hulking sympathetic giant with an abusive childhood who can talk to his mothers vision and is heavily motivated by his grief trauma and emotions like. We Literally Already Have Jason Thank You. myers is meant to be some batshit 5'10 dude completely off his gourd and ASIDES FROM ALL THE WEIRD MISOGYNY AND VIOLENCE of the rzs, they just do a shitty job of recharacterizing mike

AND LASTLY THE 2018 TRILLOGY..... ok so 2018 was solid. kinda dumb, but we get laurie for the lesbians and bald asf myers. kinda stupid asf to be hyping him up if they're picking up right after the first one, and im bummed they didnt keep the sibling plot, but whatever

KILLS, however. this movie is true to its name and has good kill scenes but thats ALL i can say in its favor. it's muddled commentary on mob mentality and policy brutality completely overshadow any point it may have made about ableism within the horror genre and it ultimately ends up advocating for the police to murder unarmed citizens while simultaneously being extremely preachy in condoning mob violence, encouraging the public to leave things to the cops and encouraging cops to be more violent. BUT: mike takes out all those firefighters and it fucks hard so its ur call to balance

and u want 2 hear what i think abt mike..... ugh i luv u ok. so ive said it before and ill say it again i LOVE two dimensional evil characters who are just SHITTY and villainous and nothing behind their eyes. but since michaels establishment in the very first film, we are given too much of his background to properly categorize him as one of the above. this is a medically abused severely drugged young adult breaking out of a decade and a half of serious trauma and going off the shits one night; one can hardly take a character one meets as a helpless child and condemn it to the label of monster. my design and interpretation of michael are heavily based on my experience with mental illness because, when u really boil him down, he is a mentally ill person who was never given the help he needed and was in fact exploited, abused, and mistreated, and went off the rails bc of it. its largely a critique of the medical field: i hate doctors. the way i see michael is as literally just some guy, some complete rando, who was dealt shitty mental health at a young age, handed over to abusers, and was able to achieve the catharsis and vindication of becoming the monster theyd told him he was bc. well i love rage killing and excessive violence lol

deep sigh anyway thank u SO much 4 asking dont take any of this as law and make sure to formulate ur own opinions ofc donate a billion dollars to ur local mentally ill person AND REMEMBER: horror movies is for laughing and going "AH!" and thats all there is 2 it.

[badbitchwhomeditates]

Who the fuck is this bitch?!

Read that again. 

The answer is complex, not simple, which is what complex means you dumb fuck ( beep language kiddo). Ok, lets try that again...

Bad Bitch Who Meditates, a 23 year old singer with dreams bigger than the world itself, which is both a good and a bad thing, we will get to the importance of duality later. Either way she´s been struck by lightning and pushed into a corner loads of times in an industry where you have to fight to be heard and seen through the smallest of cracks. And yes I might also speak about myself in third person a lot, simply because I'm practicing being the main character from all perspectives, telling my story but also making everyday feel like an adventurous movie ( therefore the narrator vibes help).

Complaining, complaning, victim mindset bla bla bla you might think, im not gonna bore you, you know that things can be quite shit and you’ve probably heard about the `struggling artist” and all of that before. 

 Lets spread some more negativity shall we ey? 

Maybe not that either, im just welcoming you in to my brain and my stream of consciousness on the journey of becoming or remaining? we shall see.

Im not gonna be here being all fairy lights and glitter in my eyes either, I am tho some days, but lately I’ve been bad, not a bitch cause I would never, slightly a bitch towards myself and I haven’t really done my meditation, its like the second I put down ” bad bitch who meditates, thats my slogan” in a song, I was like, cool its in a tune now so I’ve done the work I can relax. 

Nope, it doesn’t stop. 

Consistency in self care, healthy habits and your mental diet, the way you speak to yourself, it doesn’t stop. And its fkn annoying sometimes, especially when your chemical imbalance is so imbalanced that you don’t wanna get out of bed. Ive probably dealed with anxiety and depression since my debut on X-factor, oh yeah shit sorry, I have a name too, Im Awa and I won X-factor Sweden at 15 years old, completely changed my life like a marriage, for better or for worse. In that marriage I found myself, lost myself and now im kind of finding myself again...

Ok this is the part below where you get to knoooow me or something...

 I guess why I wanted to start blogging again is A) I need to hold myself accountable to remain consistent with my glow up, cause I can proudly say I’ve really done some amazing progress and inner work B) I need to continue doing that and find my healthy balance and not put too much pressure on myself, ya get me? C) maybe help take away the stigma regarding mental health, and I wanna focus on the solutions, thats my whole new life concept 10 % problems, 90 % solutions, like if we are discussing something thats the ratio. Cause how can we ever see a solution if we go slow dancing w the problem for ages? 

 I know it can feel fkn amazing and cozy, like when you’ve been in bed w someone thats clearly not good for your heartstrings but you stay there anyway because for right now it feels all warm and fuzzy. 

Oh silly girl, I mean forgiveness, forgiving other people and forgiving myself that is def something we are going to have to discuss as well, its one of the things I’ve tried to commit to this year. Ive come to the conclusion that its harder forgiving yourself after being too nice, theres only so much space on the scale for resentment, but you go to bed with you all the time and you beat yourself up on why you allowed that to happen? (Did that make any sense??) 

Again, another lesson, feedback that we can grow from. Mind management, one of my fav terms, mind over matter. Damn sure that can feel extremely provocative said in the wrong situation. Im gonna be honest on here, ill make an oath or whatever its called ( oh yeah im also Swedish so we will have communication problems here and there, but whatever, I call that acceptance) ill be honest, personal but not private cause I need to protect my energy. 

I would declare myself a self care queen but babe writing this, I just had a massive argument w my friend, that made me sad ( oh im a cry baby too, thats even the title of my EP lol), I hate conflict but im really trying so hard to stand up for myself and understand that my feelings are valid too and that uncomfortable situations are growing pains for our souls. I had my first panic attack in ages because this year is just shit and things that I’ve worked on for so long just crumbled down in front of me and I just felt like I was again taking two steps forward and one step back but at least we are moving. 

Im not all sad, I’ve rightfully so have had a few bad 72 hours I would say, I don’t like this time of the year that much.  But I know why, because I've been slacking w my routines, the ones we´ve carefully selected through trial and error inna real life and w my therapist ( she's real too but you get what im sayin) , it's ok not to be ok either but we have to put some kind of time limit on it so we don't sink into that deep hole again, i don't wanna go back there and I know what keeps me with my head above water and sometimes even frkn flying. We wanna stay consistent w the flying, that feels good, that's a goal now ok? Cause I used to fall into that trap of the deep hole until the pain of the known got far greater than the fear of the unknown. 

Im happy we are here today, because as I said 10/90, nothing last forever, good or bad, which is comforting. Things will get better and we hold so much more power in our minds and souls than we realize that ultimately will mirror how we experience life. So im going to be on here, at least once a week, my therapist tells me not to set up crazy goals that I know I might not do because then it will make me feel shit etc so once a week feels reasonable.

 Im open to suggestions about what we can chat about, ill share my 10/90, I want my clever friends to maybe drop a quote or blog here and there, Im good on camera, like vlogs or some shit. I probably wont bring you around all the time cause I don’t have the technological brain cells for that to be very honest with you. Maybe ill just come up with cute formats to the camera, thats a word you are going to hear a lot, ”format”, I have a concierge business w my friend Amy on the side of my music career called ” Pure Intuition”, basically we create events, formats and campaigns for brands and make them come true with the right profile etc and we create FORMATS, but if you missed it or if I was unclear Im a super cool singer signed to Columbia UK which was my childhood dream, so we are going to make Columbia our BITCH in 2021 hihi <3 <3. I studied economic entrepreneurship in college and im very business savvy, I love creating formats lol. Im slowly but surely building my fempire. What else, boys, I like boys, men, cute ” god spent some extra time on you”- looking boys, I mean men. I guess we will touch on that in the most anonymous manner, maybe ill just share some past flings cause you know, they’re in the past, passé. So yeah who the fuck is this bitch? you will find out alongside me, myself and I

get ready for the ride

love and light,

badbitchwhomeditates 

[sasuke420]

1-65 except the ones you already did

ok this is A LOT so sorry if you’re on mobile

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

answered

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

answered

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?

like........unofficially almost 2 years but official a combination of 2 months then 7 or 8 months idfk 

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

i absorb the personality of everyone i ever talk to but like, not intentionally

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i hope we never speak again or if we do it’s just so i can be like FUCK YOU again tbh,

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

nah

7: Have you ever cheated?

nope

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?

what the fuck no

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?

umm......communication? trust? all those words people throw out that are true and real but i love being very open at all times so truly communication

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

serious i guess? my last “fling” was kind of a disaster so idk 

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?

NOPE NOPE NOPE almost fell for that bullshit and it’s basically what ended my last relationship so absolutely not no thanks!!! not for me

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

i hate the phrase hooked up bc it could mean anything from kissing to sex so i never know how to answer this?! i already made a post the other day sayin ive kissed 4 people so theres that i guess 

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

answered

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

idk you do you but like, personally before like........16 seems too dangerous imo bc you are Children but as long as it’s safe and whatever idk

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?

no bc it’s usually used by predatory older dudes but i mean age differences are fine as long as it’s not creepy and terrible. but don’t say this as a 24 year old dude as an excuse to date a high schooler

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?

answered

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?

that’s like, exclusively what’s happened to me so, yeah

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

i don’t have like a specific list in my mind or like one THING i cannot tolerate but i guess a huge one would be anything having to do w not tolerating mental illness bc that is my entire personality

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?

when they make you feel shitty more than they make you feel happy

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

nop

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

yeah i’ve seen it happen and work out fine

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

sure why not, it’s nice to be friends then have it turn into something or whatever. i like relationships based off of friendships 

23: How many relationships have you had?

um i’d really only count like, one, so......1

24: Do you think love can last forever?

yeah i love happy old couples

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

um.......not really??? that’s like, a big statement, 

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?

no because i dated someone my parents disliked for a long time

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

answered

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

absolutely tho i’m not huge on them for myself

29: What do you notice first about another person?

answered

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

me all the time: IM GAY AS HELL

but really i’m bi 

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

answered

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

haha........................................................................................yeah and it’s fucked up my entire psyche so (-:

33: Do you want to get married one day?

yeah!

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?

sounds like a very bad idea and also wouldn’t even be like aesthetically pleasing so no thanks

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

probably? idk

36: Are you still a virgin?

no i’m a sinner

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?

personality but obviously i like people that i am physically attracted to so.....i mean its both but i am very big on personality which is why hookups arent rly my thing too much

38: Do you enjoy love films?

do i enjoy them? i will SOB at them, so, 

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

nope

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

answered i think

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?

getting drunk and taking a nap together

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?

i did for school in like 8th grade 

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?

gotta get that balance. don’t neglect either of them

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?

i call myself a hopeless romantic constantly

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

yes

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?

fake concept. i had high school crushes that never went anywhere but that doesnt mean friendzoned really so no

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?

i don’t pay attention to thos things honestly................mulder and scully

48: What's your favorite love song?

i have an entire playlist of love songs, hmu for it, but ummm probably first day of my life if thats considered a love song

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?

eh. kind of. complicated

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?

i’m ugly

(bc i have been single for like...2 months and thos things dont come fast)

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?

poor but nice guy 100%

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

ehhhhhhhhhhhhh not really i mean sometimes? i don’t know it depends on the situation 

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?

LOL.............yes i am known to get kinda salty

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?

eh. i like having it be Official and known as a thing but other than that idk

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?

i will cling to you with the force of a thousand suns (but try to play it cool and fail yikes)

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?

nah he did that (side eye emoji)

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

me: i’m going to kill myself when we break up

so like, no, but don’t do it because i didn’t and that was a dumbass mindset

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?

the MOST submissive you will ever meet, in your entire life, please dominate me

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?

answered i think

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?

whatever works for u but probably not my thing

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?

my siblings can fuck off but parents and partner are both important

62: How do you define "cheating"?

????????? is there more than one definition??? its fuckin cheating. dont flirt or do shit w other people. 

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

it doesn’t make me feel awesome to think about but it’s not like, an issue

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?

me when im single: yes

me if i was in a relationship: NO (HEART EYES X1000)

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?

WOULD I? CONSIDER????????????? I DONT CONSIDER ANYTHING. I KNOW FOR A FUCKING FACT I AM. i will cuddle 24/7 365 baby