#im assuming bc she doesnt think its an illnes and just an opinion
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how do i tell my friend im sorry for nor writing anything in our essay today bc ive had one of my worst days in a while without coming across as a selfish pathetic dick
#got told im gonna get sent to a mental hospital again#which ik is not true bc they always say this plus they probably wouldnt be able to fit me anywhere#plus im not even sick im just annoying#and apparently every member of my family thinks im acting like this on purpose and its my fault therapy isnt working bc im not trying hard#enough#and if i tried to get better id just go to a different doctor and therapist bc ig i should know if the diagnosis is correct or not#also my mom still thinks im not depressed i think idk#and ig she completely dismissed the other half of my diagnosis#im assuming bc she doesnt think its an illnes and just an opinion#and yeah no shit im a burden to everyone i know!! but when i propose i just kill myself she gets mad and idk what to tell her#bc she just expects me to be normal again like i was when i was a kid#bc thats the only point of reference its always that i wasnt like this in elementary and earlier#so this isnt how i really am and its not in my “nature” or whatever#and yeah maybe but i also dont remember not feeling this way and short periods when i feel better make me crazy anxious bc its like i#forgot abt sth important and i cant remember what it isand also being asked if im on my period the moment i say i feel bad#bc yeah periods make this much worse but when my mothers says it always feels like being dismissed for just being crazy and hormonal#which isnt suprising be she doesnt believe period pains can be painful enough to take meds#idk i just#i need to die soon i need to#sorry for witing this all out i really am
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