#im always a little embarrassed to post my ocs LOL

[marielism]

daniil gives me insaaaane “has a little sister” vibes

[acrobattack]

throws fankids at you and runs

[elviraaxen]

im new here, so im sorry if this is a question youve answered before but tumblr's search bar failed me in finding this to be previous answered but.. uhmmm

c... can we make ocs/personas for Felt World? or would you rather we not or we hold off until further in?? bc i would love to make a puppet give our cowboy a smooch before he is, i assume bc he is a fucking catch and a half, taken off the market in canon lol i assume he wont still be single by the end. im a tad bit too embarrassed to ever post such drawings, but i wanted to know in case i ever did become brave enough to make them public if such you would be welcome to be tagged in or if that would make you feel uncomfortable

and also, for that purpose: as someone with disabilities, im really curious how disabilities are translated into Felt World? obviously not all of them, that'd take forever. but i was curious if they use mobility aids just like ours or if they use ones we could not have (an example of what i mean could be like "seal-chairs" in "Witch Hat Atelier"? they are chairs with hooves that run and jump, as opposed to wheels). and i know you said music is really powerful in this world, in both singing and instruments, but i wanted to also ask how in a world with so much focus on sound are the deaf/hard of hearing accomadated? deaf/HoH people can still play instruments, obviously (the most famous example being Beethoven), but i meant other than that

(also, if i recall accurately you once said that "the puppets have to speak to be considered sentient beings"? i was wondering if in the future could that be amended to "have to be able to communicate"? because i assume nonverbal puppets would still exist, as well as puppets who just dont speak much (whether thats a facet of deafness or nonspeaking shutdown or just a quiet personality). or would that break Felt World's world-building's logic in some way? that's a genuine question. i wasnt sure how to word it in a way that would minimize the risk of one being put on their back-foot, but i tried my best, it really is a genuine question)

(also, because i never like to assume fluency in disability-knowledge: if you need a resource on media portrayals of disability at any point, i highly recommend the youtuber, Oakwyrm. they do a lot of really cool analysis videos on disability. i do apologize if i am overstepping, and you are already largely fluent in disabled portrayals in media and/or already aware of Oakwyrm's existence. i just like to shout at least one resource out because i know many people have no idea where to look to learn more about general disability representation advice and whatnot. you do not have to watch their videos if you do not want to ♡)

also a bit of a tangent, idk if this is just a "for now" aspect of Donna due to her adjusting or if this is a core pillar of her personality but... just, thank you for making a feminine character who cries a lot and is emotional with Big Feelings. ive always felt more connected to the Dorthy Gales, Cinderellas, Clarisse de Cagliostros kind of heroines who are a bit of a "damsel in distress" (tho i do think that term reduces a lot of their agency and bravery) and i feel a bit lonely that we dont see many emotional-vitality-driven heroines who need some help as much as badass heroines or sassy heroines, both of whom are fully capable of getting shit sone alone. makes my cry-baby disabled ass feel a little pathetic (im very physically weak because of my chronic health issues, and am the type of Autistic ADHDer who is very sensitive to getting big feelings), even tho i know those types of heroines are valid and needed. i resonate a lot with AJR's lyric about "But I'm weak. And what's wrong with that?" even though i know im taking it out of context

and im sure Donna will prove herself capable of being on her own and having her own agency, same as all the heroines ive listed, i dont assume she will be stagnant, but i just wanted to really thank you for making a character that i relate to. i dont get that often. it makes me feel a bit abnormal and strange, and i mean moreso than the "well youre neurodivergent and sickly" kind of abnormal that would be implied. like. Weird Kid sitting alone at lunch kind of strange. so its really cool to see Donna and feel less lonely, is what im saying. i wish there were more heroines like her for people like me nowadays, rather than the archetype being reduced to "archiac stereotypes" (which i both do and dont understand the logic of. it depends on context and the example given) and therefore shelving a type of heroine we dont see in a lot of contemporary media (in exchange for a heroine we didnt get to see often (if at all) in past media, the sassy and badass ones, i do get it, and im glad theyre being used more as they should have always been. there are a select few of both camps that feel like "women have to be as stereotypically masculine as possible to be worthy of being called 'a strong character'" when i think strong characters have less to do with personality and more to do with "do they direct the narrative's plot? do they have agency?". but i could be wrong about that and i am getting off-topic)

but yeah. just. overall: thank you for introducing Donna to be like she is. it means a lot to me to see a heroine like her in contemporary media. im really excited to see what youll do next ♡ but yeah, i know im babbling a lot here and you dont need to reply to this half, i just really wanted to stress my thanks and WHY you have my thanks ♡♡♡ i really appreciate having Donna sit at my metaphorical lunch-table with me, even if she has to go sit somewhere else later. its been really nice to be beside her

thank you ♡

ps. i wasnt sure how to format this Ask because i know some people like to have each section have their own Ask for compartmentalizing/tag-organization reasons, but others like it all to be together so they know its all from one person as opposed to the anxiety of "ahh why did i get so many Asks all at once, did i do something wrong, do people hate me-- oh. its fine. i went through that rollercoaster for nothing. dear lord, am i drained now". so i tend to rather assume the latter, just in case; but do feel free to screenshot and section these out into their own posts if you are the former, i wont mind if youd rather do that ♡ have a nice day!!

Oh my goodness what a long message!!! 0.0!!

I had to take a few hours to think about everything to make sure I answered everything. But I should start off by showing my gratitude for the amount of time and effort you put into formulating this! So thank you, this was a really cool ask to receive <3

As for OCs, absolutely you can! I've already had a few who've made theirs, and I have no rules at all when it comes to shipping or self inserts or anything, as long as everyone is being respectful towards each other ^^

As for the disability aspect, I have a few key points that I want to explore in regards to especially deafness and muteness (is it called that? muteness?), but that's further along the story and will be introduced later! Also how song vs instruments work in this world is a part of the lore itself that'll be explained further down the line too, so no need to worry about our fellow mute or deaf/hoh peeps!

I have of course thought about mobility aids and other disability accommodations (because they can be born with defect, illnesses, and be injured pretty much like us, their bodies are a bit more fantastical but there are still rules) but i must admit didn't think further other than to give them similar mobility aids that we use. But clearly it would make more sense to make something more fantastical! I'll give it a thought! That's probably gonna be a fun design exercise ^^

I'm not sure if I can answer the entire ask in a way that does it justice, it's quite frankly the coolest message I've gotten, I'm gonna try and not let it get to my head (lol),

but i'm so glad you and seemingly many others seem to like Donna and appreciate her specifically for being sensitive and reacting strongly. It shouldn't be but it's really daunting to write female leads because as we know people just don't like women in media generally, but I eventually just got over it because I realized I was starting to write a character that demanded the audience cared and respected, rather than showing a story that I had fun telling, in a world worth exploring.

And not to spoil but I've already decided I do not want Donna to go through an arc where she's forced to abandon her emotions or go through something physically traumatic in order to "become tough" to be respected, that's not only overdone but lame and harmful wish fulfillment. So no worries in that department!

But anyways, I don't think I can properly say how appreciative I am of this ask!!! It really warms my heart that you and other people are going out of your way to send me asks about my little story that I came up with on a whim!!! It's truly the best compliment as a creator.

<3

[bottombatch]

Fanfic Writer Questions

thanks for the tag @optiwashere!

If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged! But here is one more for the road: @collegeoflore

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Apparently I have 20? That's news to me lol. I would have guessed like 10 to 12. I've used this AO3 account for a while, I guess.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

62,119 words, according to the statistics.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, only Baldur's Gate 3. Before that I was writing lightcanon for League of Legends.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. And They Were Roommates

2. To Muzzle a Gith

3. Misfit and Nomad

4. I Thought About You

5. Workouts in a Winter Hellscape

Damn. Some of these are callbacks.. Not too surprised, though. These either have popular ships or popular fandoms. LoL lightcanon in 1, 3, and 4 make sense to me, even if I'm embarrassed by the writing in them. Continually shocked by To Muzzle a Gith. I guess Shadowzel is that popular? I don't know. I have so little desire to write for them again and the writing in it makes me cringe, tbh. Same with #5 LMAO. You couldn't pay me enough to reread the fics I wrote in highschool.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, always! Well. If someone comments on something really old I might not? But only because im scared they'll ask me to update it lmao. But in general, yes! I love talking and hearing what people liked!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

If I'm including the 20 QOTD Challenge fic (and i am because this is my post), I'd have to give it to Nerves, ch19 of that challenge. I mean, its a flashback scene about killing a childhood friend (and maybe lover) for a crumb of an uncaring goddess' attention.

It's pretty much the only piece of angst I've written that doesn't have some overtone of hope to it. I'm hoping to work it into my act 1 rewrite because I like it so much.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

To me, its Savoring Seconds from the challenge. It's bittersweet but after everything those two have been through... It's the happiest I can envision them ever being. Maybe that's just my bias tho :P

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No? Do most people get hate on fics? I haven't had anything of the sort. Hard to imagine what that would even be like..

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. Outside of To Muzzle a Gith, I think I write pretty tame stuff? More emotional than anything.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

A Common Song was really the only crossover, but even then.. it was really just a League of Legends fic with a cyberpunk2077 au. It had some good ideas tho.. maybe I'll return to it some day.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I've noticed?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. I've helped with brainstorming before but that's really all.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

This.. is tough. I change fandoms too often for something like this 😭 If I had to pick a bg3 ship... Laz/Karlach. Is it cheating to say my OC ship? Probably. But fuck you, its MY post. I've cried multiple times on the bus just thinking about these two, no one else had quite the strangle hold on me. (I was thinking abt Karlach's funeral btw).

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A Common Song. I was cooking on some of those ideas but I was FAR too ambitious lmao

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm... Not totally sure, to be honest. Its hard to read your own stuff and see what's uniquely strong. If you have any thoughts, please let me know!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't think my writing has much rhythm to it. I'd like to work on that. Also my grammar is shoddy at best. English classes were always my lowest grades :,)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

For fantasy languages I think it's fun! It can add a lot of depth and creates a lot of insight to a characters culture. Dabbling with Drowic for example was a lot of fun.

But like, a real language? Naw. I don't know any other languages so unless it was a phrase I knew a character said in canon.. I wouldn't want to risk a shoddy google translate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Uh. It was either Invader Zim, Mass Effect, or SAO? I'm not totally sure. This would have predated AO3, when I was in middle school or something. I've tried to find those fics but I think they're genuinely lost.

Probably for the best lol.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Currently, it is Snowfall. Once I post it, I think it'll be the act 1 rewrite.

[whumpshaped]

Hello! I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed glitching. It’s a bit embarrassing to say, but I barely interacted with it in any way that you could see because the format made me feel guilty about reading whump in a way that I hadn’t felt in a long time. That’s a compliment to your writing! Glitching was about being an accomplice and moral choices and I got caught up in it that I stopped participating in the polls after a few posts. I really liked it though.

Since you couldn’t see the likes that I very much wanted to give the series, I’m sending my thanks directly. You are really good at writing, and your specific style is one of my favorites on this site. Your writing is just brutal in a way that a lot of whump writing isn’t, and your characters are extremely compelling/whumpable. I can’t describe exactly what I love about it, but I do love it. You also made glitching really quickly, which is impressive. I’m still in awe of how you made all the different endings for the finale. That must have taken forever.

Was Glitching always going to end the way it did? If the audience had voted to kill Seth at the earliest opportunity, would that have happened? Are there any other pathways that you had planned out that we didn’t get to see? Basically, I loved Glitching and I want to hear all the behind the scenes details that you are willing to share.

Thanks again!

aaaaaaaaaa thank u SO much for this. long ass response under the cut !

this is honestly.... mostly all i wanted to achieve w glitching. (my first objective was to create a whump cyoa story where the options were all bad, bc in all the other ones ppl kept picking the good ones and i was like :| but my whump..? no whump..?) several times i felt like maybe the second person pov is too much and its too real and itll turn everyone off... but then i thought. thats. kind of what i want. i want it to feel a little gross even if its fiction. i wanted to make ppl feel conflicted.

so please dont feel bad about not interacting! i understand how it could feel rly bad and guilt-inducing. im glad u made the decision to stop interacting when u did, its NOT embarrassing in the slightest. this message means a whole lot either way.

hehehehehe im GLAD theyre brutal! thats very much the style i wanna be known for lol and the style i enjoy! i want stuff to be gruesome and disgusting! i want it to be brutal and unforgiving! i want violence! i want gore! and also thank u, im glad my characters r whumpable. especially w glitching, i saw that when other ppl put their cute ocs in situations no one wanted to hurt them, so i was like ok whos my most vile most hated most disgusting oc whom everyone would Love to see be punched in the face- in general i love making my ocs whumpable and pitiful. i love a pitiful little guy

i stopped writing glitching when my exams started at college, and iced it after maybe chapter 8 or 9. then i picked it back up again after i got a 20th message in my inbox abt how ppl miss it, and it successfully forced my hand to finally sit down and just Write. (i do have to be forced to write a lot of the times. it doesnt work for everyone, but it does for me. obviously i can never get in the zone if i dont even open the document yknow. thats why i write a lot of shitty drabbles! it keeps up momentum!) and then i just kept writing. and writing. and writing. trying to get a chapter out every day because i knew what i wanted to do and i wanted to finish it. when it comes to the finale, iiiii decided i wanted to do that whole thing literally 2 days beforehand. my friend told me "wow these options r all good" and i said "i know i kinda wanna see all of them too". and the idea was born. the seed was planted. the bug was in my fucken ear.

so the next morning i checked the poll on chapter 13, and saw that of course the option to keep seth alive was winning by far. so i wrote that in advance. then i started writing out the endings for the finale. i managed to get maybe 3 of them done. then the next day i finished the other 6, tweaked the earlier ones, all that. i uploaded them all, posted everything privately, fiddled forever w the links (which i knew were likely gonna break anyway-) and THEN WHEN THE TIME CAME I WANTED TO MAKE ONE LAST EDIT AND ACCIDENTALLY POSTED IT. so i had to unprivate everything in a fucking frenzy like OH MY GOD PPL WONT UNDERSTAND I RUINED IT I RUINED EVERYTHING. but anyway yes it took me like 2 days of writing and editing but the response was soooooo worth it. ppl were so so so kind to me. it was honestly amazing.

one thing abt me, i started planning my stories At All in the last few months. before that, Nothing. and especially w smth like glitching, where the audience's decision influences the next chapter and i cant plan ahead, i didnt even bother. whatever the audience chose was always gonna happen. if they chose to exit the stream on the very first poll, i wouldve ended it. im serious. i thought abt pulling "you try to exit but it doesnt work" but then i was like. no. ppl can have one (1) chance to turn their heads away if they want, as a treat. i wouldve written a chapter about the debilitating guilt and lifelong "what if" feeling, and that wouldve been it. as for the earlier murder options, yes! i wouldve gone thru w it at any time. starting from maybe the 6th chapter (or whenever i brought in the murder option) the audience held the power to end the stream and seth's suffering. they chose not to. but they couldve.

one option that i wanted that never got chosen was the baseball bat. im obsessed w beating someone to the point of broken bones w a baseball bat. so when the ending was getting nearer and nearer, i thought about simply disregarding the last poll and writing a single chapter where the host goes "i respected the choices u made up until now, but this time, im making the decision". but i was like. no fuck that. this is an interactive story all about being able to choose ur own decisions. i just asked the audience to supply me w puppy seth commands, citing how it was interactive. i couldnt just go and ignore that two chapters later, yknow? plus as u said it kind of all hinged on the feeling of "i did this. im responsible". so if i took that responsibility away in the last second IN THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION OF ALL it wouldnt have been good enough

most of the time i just kept giving the options i really wanted to write, and eventually, ppl picked them. it was a good story in the sense that the order didnt matter too much. i could give the same options, and the host was still able to carry them all out.

some more behind the scenes- i thought about revealing the host's identity multiple times. i thought about making them someone the audience already knew (like ren, my friend's oc who greatly inspired the character from the very first chapter), or someone who couldve been vaguely familiar but unknown (a former friend of pumpkin?), but in the end i just settled on the mystery. especially since i decided to give it a paranormal twist. i couldve NEVER made a better reveal than the mystery itself. never ever. some things dont have to be revealed.

but yeah! thats that. i rly enjoyed glitching, i loved the response i got (it was by far the most popular story ive ever posted on here w the most tags and comments and asks), and i loved how i managed to do the finale. it was concise, i can say i finished another story, and its just all around a great time. thank u so much for ur message !!!

[variousxreader]

i see you said we could send in Koby thoughts… im so obsessed with Koby it’s not even funny. i have an ocxcanon ship with him that ive made over 100 doodles of in a few months and at least 10 pages of dumb thoughts for

i very much hc him as bisexual , usually in my mind he’s cis but i love transmasc Koby too. he’s perfect every way. but i am very much of the opinion he is very muscular either way and dedicates himself to being in the best shape possible.

my oc is a marine so A LOT of my hcs are revolved around a marine s/o who’s his superior. they’re on garp’s ship together and he gets them to talk. oc is a bookworm and has no social skills but Koby is enamored with their insane amount of knowledge and passion for reading and enables their infodumping 24/7, borrows books and they work out together. they get close over their Marineford trauma and eventually cross the friends to lovers bridge because they spend sm extra time together after and understand exactly what’s going on with the other’s mind.

and even though they wouldn’t be able to be together often, I think Koby is a very mature and understanding partner who is able to handle long distance and leaves little notes for his s/o to find, calls them at night once his work is over, and always makes sure to hug them whenever they see each other again. he gets little trinkets for them or a small bouquet of flowers if it’s been longer and will spend the entire night with his attention on them.

i think he’s awkward but well meaning early in a relationship!! scared of messing up or worrying he’s not good enough and still being oh so very shy later down the line. kiss him long enough or pepper his face in little smooches and he will be so!! So embarrassed!! but he loves it… he’s less forward physically but loves to talk and just. look at his so and admire how pretty they are. but I think he loves spooning them and kissing the back of their neck, their cheek and their shoulder at night, or their forehead if they’re facing him. he loves it when they lay on his chest and caress his face. he would be insanely flustered but so tickled by them wearing his shirts or jackets, his old bandana too…

he’s super shy but extremely loving and lovable. i am actually in love with him. no man has ever affected me as much as the existence of Koby and rambling here makes me want to post about him and my character again LOL, thank you for enabling my Koby fixation

Of course!!!! Hes just such a good boy!! I love the marine lover ideas too, but im such a sucker for Koby falling for a slightly older or his age pirate!

Hes so salty he fell for a pirate but he can't help but be so smitten with them lol when i can im writing away for the one shot i mentioned, but that idea spawned a larger fic which accidentally became 2.5k of introduction. Which will allow me to now devolve into chapters of doing whatever i please with the man lmao! It was 100% meant to be smut but i might accidentally turn it into a slow burn romance who knows!

The one shot is now going to be an off shot of the main fic, but being an omegaverse au version. Hell it might not even be a one shot but a mini chaptered fic its self! It could very very well end up as 3 parts or longer

Bi Koby is a dream. My ass really wants to drag him into a reader/ace/sabo/koby relationship thats all levels of debauched.

Theres just something about Koby that makes me primally insane.

Like i fucking love ace and Sabo, but they're so dominant and more sure of themselves (yes even ace) than Koby still

Koby really is the type of man i wanna shake around like a chew toy because hes so precious.

Feral cute aggression w the blorbo.

I shall hug him and squeeze him and call him george,

Also put him into sexual situations that render him fucked absolutely stupid because hes so innocent and sweet and i want to deflower the sweet thing

[tinkonka]

i drew my wh oc!!

i’ve decided on the name ivory since the previous one was a trigger name for a friend of mine, gonna talk about her under the cut :D long post !

her name is ivory, and as it says, she’s a purebred! she’s around 2000 years old but still going strong. very kind personality - picture zizel and lime combined except she’s a little more awkward - and talkative. she displays more of a kind side around humans, and is always willing to discuss things such as negative ad positive emotions, how they impact others and things like that. and no she doesn’t need glasses but she likes them

she’s a bit of a teaser sort! centuries of interacting with humans has led her to be very adapt with reading faces + recognizing insecurities in other people... so yea she do got the ability to hit it where it hurts. but she only really uses this ability for lighthearted teasing, with rouge being a primary target

(i drew zizel without a ref lol) as you can see she is very tall. 6′6. and she uses this to her advantage as well - she’ll pick up zizel and put her hand on rouges head (which rouge does not like). if you’re curious here’s a height reference:

So yeah zizel only reaches her chest. tiny.

another thing to add is that she has these spicy tentacles as you can see in this drawing:

and these can be hidden at will, though she prefers to keep them out as it’s a pain to keep them secret (similarly to how demons can show a proper form in the day but it’s a nusiance). these tentacles are as a result of working as a guarding monster for a couple hundred years, defending an artifact that the demons enjoy using. as such, she’s out of practice with her human form, and if she’s careless, she’ll begin to transform, and trying to keep the monster at bay can! really hurt! because there’s always the inner desire to have said monster get free (like how demons are naturally breeded to love negativity) and trying to fight the desire isn’t something she has practice with.

and so, she’ll have these ‘outbursts’ where she’ll leak and black wounds will appear - much like noel when he’s trying to fight his transformation as well.

i haven’t written much for this character yet, but i’m planning on inserting a hater demon into ivory’s story - i think i may have talked about her before? cerise, a 13 year old hater demon who had no happiness similar to lime. since she was still young, ivory had decided to take her under her wing - not out of compassion at the time, but because she didn’t wish for cerise to fall for other demons tricks and how to obey the rules. though advancing the relationship, cerise had admitted to ivory that she makes her feel happy. “i never had any happy memories... but you give me some, even though this place is far from good.” this REALLY threw ivory off. demons causing other demons positive emotions??? what??? this was not her intent. alas, she had grown attached to the younger hater, only for the hater to.... fall for another demons tricks. she was framed for the modification of a sacred artifact, and ivory had no choice but to banish her to the other hell.  ivory still wonders how she is. she doesn’t want to bring her out temporarily, however, because she knows things aren’t good. and in truth, a part of her is scared that cerise would’ve been desensitized and hardened by the deeper hell, and so she decided to try not to think about her. (though she still wanted to honour cerise, so she wears the flower crown that she made for her. (the heart locket was from susie)) im not quite sure how she and susie had gotten to form the pact but if i ever do figure that part out i’ll let you guys know about it :)

miscellaneous headcanons:

 she and zizel are quite close, as they worked together for a short time before ivory had to go to another station. they’re penpals tho zizel will sit in ivorys lap and drink tea and ivory will carry zizel on her shoulders it’s always a fun time

she despises the higher class demons with a PASSION because they’re known for not giving two shits about stuff and she’ll ramble about it angrily

rouge is below her in terms of hierarchy but she doesn’t really mind being berated by the red-head. if anything, it’s funny to her

she firmly believes that showing kindness shouldn’t be strange for demons. she wishes that more demons would help eachother - mainly haters - because she thinks that they can help eachother with their pain. though she doesnt have much room to talk on the matter since she’s a purebred herself

her tentacles (she has about 4) are pointy at the ends, and they’re warm and. sludgey to the touch (like mud). they move involuntarily and tend to just grab things she subconsciously likes (zizel is a victim of this) and whack people when she’s standing next to them. she’s getting better at controlling this though

thinks lime is a tad strange but absolutely adores the cute aesthetic thing she has going on. she values charlottes opinions as well, and likes to talk with her about just anything.

she thinks claire is a bit stupid sometimes but one day she and claire spent like hours talking about feminine things like cute dresses and flower crowns and ivory wished she clda given claire a chance to try on some of the dresses she had kept from her time in the mansion.

absolutely terrified of sirius thinks he’s a tiny gremlin. one time tried to give him a hug bc he was kind and he stomped on her foot not a good time

she’s eh about wilardo. doesnt think that he’s as interesting as the others, but will respect him. he’s okay

she’s not used to like socializing so she talks too much and doesnt know how to continue a conversation and always ends up embarrassing herself

if i can think of anymore then i’ll let you guys know! feel free 2 draw her (i still need to colour her in whoops), give her theme songs... im down for anything :D

if you’ve read this far tysm hi i lov u !! thank you for reading my rambles :D

[keoghans]

Hey Chuck

Hello and welcome to this Chuck Grant fanfic. I always loved this dude, and I see little to no work about him, so, I took it upon myself to do fic about him. I invented a character, his love interest, because I cant write reader insert, I just, it bothers the fuck out of me to write like that lmao. 

Special mentions for @notmykirk @liebthots @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @alphapockets for proofreading, giving ideas and helping a distressed, nervous writer lol, you lot were brilliant!

This is super angsty, but also filled with fluff and stupid cliches. 

Pairing: Chuck Grant x OC

Warnings: angst, shitloads of angst. Mention of rape. Slight, non-explicit smut. Cursing.  

Word Count: 12k (I know, IM SORRY)

Epilogue 

Three knocks and an anxious wait.

The door was opened by the tall ginger that didn’t seem to ever age. 

“Hannah Davis! What brings you here?” he exclaimed with a broad smile as he hugged her smaller frame. 

“How are you, sir? You look great!” she replied and he furrowed his eyebrows at her answer.

“Hannah, the war is over, it has been for a while, I go by Richard, Rich, or Dick, please,” he said, as he let her in his house. He sounded the same, warm, emphatic, funny. 

“Old habits die hard, I guess,” she replied, checking out his living room. He lived in a beautiful, tall house, very homey. It had a fireplace on and a half finished drink on the nearby table. 

“My wife went to visit her brother, a man that’s never approved of me, so I stayed back,” he explained, serving another drink for her. 

“I remember when you first told me that he wasn’t fond of you and I wondered, how the hell does someone not like Dick Winters?” she replied and they both chuckled. 

“Her parents like me, and so does she, so… it doesn’t really matter”. 

Hannah didn’t marry post war, and it had been only a year, but most of Easy Company was already having children, marrying or at least dating. 

She had her heart set on someone but she had lost all contact with him and the Army didn’t help her trying to get what she needed.

So, after an hour and a half of reminiscing about the war, about Austria and the Eagle’s Nest, Winters caught up to her.

“Hannah, with all due respect… I know this isn’t just a casual visit, or you would’ve brought Luz or someone else with you,” he started, trailing off for her to speak. 

Hannah chuckled cynically, the man had always been prone to read people like a piece of paper. She struggled for a few seconds, her nerves coming back to her, scratching the back of her head absentmindedly.

“I’ve been trying to find someone… Someone from the Company, and I don’t want to ask the rest of the men because… Well, if this fails, I don’t want it to be gossip between them; and the Army couldn’t help me, they cannot give out information about former paratroopers,” she explained. 

“I have all of the men’s information with me, so, who are you looking for? Though—some information can be outdated, I haven’t updated it in a couple of years,” Dick said, looking for an old black book that had ‘Easy’ embroidered in the front.

“Say the name.”

“Uh… Charles Grant—NCO Chuck Grant.” 

Rick smiled softly, looking down as he looked for his name in his book. 

“What?” she asked, slightly embarrassed. He knew.

“Nothing. Sergeant Grant is an exceptional man, I felt deeply for him when he got shot,” he explained and placed a ruler under his name, handing the notebook to Hannah.

“I know he is, that’s why I’m looking for him,” she said, looking down at his name, copying the information of his address and phone number. 

Richard looked at her with his usual witty, warm smile. 

“Thank you, Dick” she said, closing the notebook and giving it back.

“Like my wife would say, ‘go get him’.”

///

Hannah had Chuck’s address and phone for a month and a half. 

Every time she thought about calling him, or showing up at his place, fear shook her body and threw her back to square one. She had taken a cab to her former Major in the Paratroopers for forty five minutes to find a man’s address and she couldn’t actually talk to him. 

Hannah laid in her bed, after a long day at the hospital. She was eating leftover carrot cake she had made a week ago, feeling dreadful, looking at the little paper with Chuck’s name sitting on her bedside table, and remembered the many times they shared. 

Bastogne was the coldest hell Hannah had ever experienced, and she knew it was never leaving her head after everything that transpired.

The trees exploded every now and again. As desperation settled inside each mind, everyone started wondering which was getting killed next. 

Then the casualties came: Joe Toye and Guarnere lost each other one leg to mortars, Don Hoobler accidentally shot himself in the leg and the blood loss took his life. Muck and Penkala got blown to pieces by another mortar. 

She had tried to save as many lives as possible as she had to shoot Germans from afar, fearing death every single second she moved around the snow covered forest.

She had short moments of peace, and most were laying in a foxhole, trying to gather some warmth, next to Chuck. 

Her body shook as she blew into her hands, trying to gain back feeling on her fingertips when Charles looked at her and grabbed her hands without a word, covering them with his calloused fingers, scooting closer to her. 

She was slightly taken aback. 

Chuck wasn’t a man of many words, he communicated more with his eyes and small expressions. He politely smiled at her as he rubbed his hands against her. 

“Thanks,” she muttered, nuzzling her chin deeper into her scarf that was tucked into her jumpsuit. 

Chuck just looked at her and kept rubbing their hands together. She noticed her blue eyes looking bright from the full moon shining down the forest. 

“I always hated the winter time, back in the states… and now more,” Chuck said, breaking the silence between them. 

“I know, I prefer to be burning under the sun rather than freezing my butt off.” 

“Cold beers,” he added.

“The beach.”

“Dipping into a river or the sea.”

Both exchanged small smiles. 

Chuck had always noticed Hannah, and stared silently at her many times, but barely exchanged a few words in the second year of their training, when she arrived in Toccoa. He knew she was Shifty’s friend, and someone who Winters relied on and trusted from what Powers had said to help her get into the Paratroopers. 

And she had proved herself useful, not only as a doctor, but as a sharpshooter, taking down snipers that others didn’t notice at first. She used to compete with Shifty on how many Krauts took down each.

Hannah always knew who he was, she remembered every and each name of the company, by nicknames mostly. He definitely called for her attention; he was polite, shy, only mustered a few jokes here and there, not like Luz, who couldn’t speak without joking. 

But she was never as interested in him until he helped her find warmth in a shattering cold in Belgium. 

Hannah remembered that with a smile—their first and probably closest interaction. It only took snow, people dying around them and a whole war for it to happen.

Friday, she thought, Friday would be a good thing for me to approach his house if, luckily, he didn’t move out before. 

///

Anxiety. Lots of. 

Hannah wasn’t on call at the hospital on Friday. She and her best friend, scheduled everything.

Angelina made sure she couldn’t back out of looking for the former paratrooper. She had helped her pick an outfit, helped with her hair, the whole ordeal. 

“Okay, go, go! It’s barely past noon, it’s a beautiful day, maybe y’all can go for a walk,” angelina said, taking a sip from her lemonade. 

Hannah was barely talking, her hands shook, she felt her pits damp with sweat, with a tight knot in her stomach. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, okay… I’m going, whatever, what could go wrong, what the fuck, he could only think I’m a fucking stalker, whatever right? Fuck—.”

“Oh my god, get out, I’ll take care of Trigger, let him have a stroll, and if by any chance you spend the night there—” she said, with a wink— “call me so I’ll stay and give Trigger his morning walkies,” Angelina commanded as she pushed Hannah through the door. 

“Good luck, honey!” She yelled as Hannah dragged her feet through the hot cement under the July sun. 

Every little thing that could go wrong played in her mind as she walked. Grant lived roughly twenty blocks away from her but she still wanted to walk there, to make it as slow as possible. 

Hannah checked the address in the small, torn piece of paper she had it written on and looked for 1612 for a bit, until she finally saw it.

It was a beautiful, tall white house, with a dark grey roof, a small porch with a couple of rocking chairs. A lot of small pots with flowers and different plants covered most of the front of the porch, which made Hannah think that there was clearly a woman living there. 

That made fear struck her again.

He’s probably married, there are rocking chairs and plants… none of the men of the paratroopers cared about fucking plants, why would Charles be any different? 

Fuck it.

Hannah shook her head, her curls moving along, stomped the ground after pondering for a couple of minutes, away from the house and took a few deep breaths before she walked up the three steps before the door and, with a shaky breath, knocked three times and took a step back, giving the door her back. 

She could sense her muscles completely tense, everywhere, arms, legs, stomach, and wondered why the hell she never got her anxiety completely treated like her PTSD from the war. 

What if a woman opened the door? I’d pretend I got the wrong house and run for the fucking hills. 

“Yes?” a deep voice said from behind her. 

Hannah could’ve swore her heart stopped for a split second.

She turned in her heel with the riddled feeling in her stomach when she met those bright blue eyes and the permanently tanned skin of Sergeant of Second Platoon, Charles Grant. 

His usual disheveled look was intact, she noticed, the droopy eyes and the resting annoyed face that was his trademark was still there, but it did change in a moment when he realized quickly who she was. His eyes widened as his jaw dropped slightly. 

“Hannah? Hannah Davis?!” he exclaimed, opening the door wider, taking a step forward shyly. 

Hannah swore her heart was thumping against her chest like a hammer, and was actually afraid Chuck would notice it. But all he did was try to find the words, stuttering slightly as he took a look at her.

“Hey, Chuck,” she said, trying to find her voice back from somewhere in her throat. 

Charles let a single chuckle out of his mouth before, sort of awkwardly, pulled her for a hug, crossing his left arm around her torso and the other one, around the shoulders.

Hannah was a hundred percent sure her heart could arrest at any moment and die right there. The man was hugging her. And she was hugging him back, the same way, when his perfume surrounded her and she closed her eyes for a moment, lingering her head above his shoulder, every single feeling she had ever felt for him rushing back into her stomach, untying the knot slightly, filling it with butterflies. 

“What a surprise! Come on in,” he said, as they parted, moving aside so she could walk inside first. 

Clean, super clean. The fact that the house was so clean yelled wife! in Hannah’s face. But she shook the thoughts aside, trying to focus on walking and trying not to bump into anything and make a mess of herself in front of Chuck. 

“You like it? I’ve been trying to decorate myself but… I don’t know, looks shitty to me still,” he added, standing next to her as she looked at old signs of tobacco brands, and a couple of paintings up white walls, complemented with an olive couch with three seats, a coffee table and a TV in front. 

And books, everywhere. Different sized, colored, some put in a small library in the corner, near the couch. Some were sprawled over on the coffee table and one on the couch, open and faced down. 

She took the books as the cue to find out and get it over with. 

“You and—and your wife must read a lot,” she said, sniggering internally as she awaited for an answer. 

Chuck let out a hearty chuckle, looking suddenly a bit embarrassed at her. 

“Uh, I’m not married,” he said, forming a thin-lipped, awkward smile on his lips. Hannah felt how her shoulders relaxed at the information.

“Oh—sorry, it’s just… It looks very homey, and you know, women do that work mostly,” she said, trying to sound innocent. 

“I learned a bit from my mom, and I found out that I really enjoy gardening and plants in general, that’s why there’s that many on the outside porch. Luz told me I was becoming a woman, I said, ‘what’s wrong with being a woman’?” Chuck said, scratching the back of his neck. 

“He fought side by side with one, and he still says that crap?” Hannah asked, remembering George Luz, the clown of the company. “Fuck him, I like how it looks, it’s homey and… looks warm, you know?”

Chuck nodded his head proudly, trying to shoot down a smile that tried to creep up, slightly blushing. 

“Listen, I was roasting some chicken, are you hungry? I have beers, too,” he said, pulling her by her wrist softly. This touch sent electricity up Hannah’s arm as she nodded silently, following him. 

She was sort of surprised by his cheerfulness. He was a very lowkey man, never spoke too loud, unless he wanted to mock one of his peers with Luz or Guarnere. He fumbled around the kitchen for a bit, before going through the back door to the backyard, where he had a barbecue against the wall.

And she could see him work, cutting up the chicken while it was still roasting, and noticed how he hadn’t put up any weight since coming back from the war, or losing any from the anxiety and PTSD. He had kept in form, his arms still big, as his shoulders, the black sleeves of the shirt sticking tight against them. 

Jesus, stop that! 

Lost in her thoughts, looking around the kitchen, she didn’t notice Chuck was back with two small sandwiches in hand, leaving them on a couple of plates as he quickly moved to grab two Crystals. 

“My brother taught me this amazing sauce, and it’s like pulled pork, but pulled chicken,” he explained, almost proudly of his handiwork. Hannah smiled and took a bite on it. 

Instantly, she had to suppress a moan that was about to fall out of her full mouth, as she widened her eyes at him. He smiled as he chewed and nodded his head like saying I know, right? 

After downing her bite with a bit of beer, Hannah finally breathed out to compliment his food, making Chuck blush again. 

“So, uh… what brings you here? Did you need anything?” Chuck asked, taking a sip of his beer again. 

I wanted to confess that I had feelings for you since you helped me warm up in a foxhole in Bagstone and you saved my ass when I got shot and you dragged me into a jeep to be taken away for a bit to heal, and I always wanted to kiss you for that but I’m such a fucking wuss, I never even dared to flirt. 

“Oh, no, no, I didn’t come to ask any favors, no,” she replied, chuckling nervously, “I—I’m gonna be honest with you; when we came back from Europe, I knew you had to do some recovery from the shot you took, that would need rehabilitation and… I was dealing with so much I couldn’t stay and I felt like shit for a long while for that—Shit, this sounds like I’m doing this to sleep better at night but no, I just want to say: I’m sorry, I should’ve been there like you were when I lost my ear to a kraut bullet, Chuck, I’m really sorry, and I wanted to check on you, see how you were doing…” 

It wasn’t a complete lie, Hannah knew that, but she still felt like what she needed to actually say was heavy in her chest. 

Chuck smiled, and turned his head slightly, pulling his hair up a bit. 

“The scar goes all the way to the back of my head, I—I should’ve died by the extent of my wound, but, it was mostly sup—superficial. My left arm is partially paralyzed,” he explained, lifting both arms at the same time but the left one was left behind as the right kept going up. “And sometimes it’s hard to s—” he closed his eyes as he struggled to say the word, his tongue frozen in the roof of his mouth for a couple of seconds— “speak, like, right now.” 

Hannah looked sorry, like a dog with a tail between its hind legs, feeling ashamed. 

“Don’t feel bad, I had my family and some of the men to help me, and very good doctors too, really, it’s not like you had to take care of me, you know,” Chuck added, grinning warmly at her. “George, Doc Roe and Speirs came almost daily to help, I was set; speaking of wounds, how’s the ear?”

Hannah moved her hair away to show him the scarred and dusty pink skin that reattached to her head after it got blown off in the Battle of the Bulge. 

Bullets and mortars were falling down the territory Easy Company covered. As much as anyone avoids talking about fear, they were all terrorized; the lack of winter gear, clothes, ammo, and food kept them all weak.

Hannah and Chuck were shooting non-stop, both with shaky breaths as they were still covered under a wool blanket, where only the gun and their eyes could be seen. 

“Hannah! Hannah, go help Shifty!” she heard Lip call her as he ran past. She sighed, not wanting to be any closer to the flying gunshots that were showering horizontally on them. 

“Go, it’s okay, go!” Chuck exclaimed, looking at her swiftly as he kept shooting. 

Hannah groaned in annoyance but still climbed up the hole. 

Chuck watched at her go, though her walk got cut short. She froze in her place and he knew something was wrong, and in a split second, she was on the cold ground, yelling her lungs out.

“Shit, shit, shit, hold on, Hannah! Medic!! Medic!!” he yelled as he let his rifle in the hole, crawling to check on the brunette. 

As soon as he turned her body around, his face grimaced in shock. She had blood flowing from her side into her cheek, eyes and mouth, as she gasped for a breath, steam coming from her mouth from the sheering cold. 

He moved her hair slowly, uncovering what was left of her ear, hanging from skin threads, almost completely shredded from her skull. It was an awful view, and the crimson liquid kept flowing and flowing. 

“What is it? Let me see, Grant, move!” Eugene Roe exclaimed, pushing the other soldier aside, checking the wound thoroughly. Hannah had stopped yelling, shock had settled in her body, covering her from the pain. 

“It’s superficial, but you will need someone to cut off the rest. Help me get her to the jeep, Grant,” he said after covering the hole with sulfate and a white bandage that went across her face. 

“Hannah, you’re going to be just fine, stay with us, come on!” Eugene yelled as Chuck lifted her from her back and legs, her face falling into his shoulder, bleeding on his jacket. 

Chuck glanced at her every few moments as he ran to where her ride was stationed, she looked paler by the second that passed, her eyes were closing and he had to keep calling at her to stay awake.

“Hannah, come on, come on, stay with me, stay with me!”

When she was finally strapped down the bed on the front of the sheet, he held her hand for a second before she was pulled away, disappearing into the woods as he had to ran back to his foxhole and keep defending their territory. 

But he kept wondering and wondering about her, until she came back two days after. 

“You came back almost good as new, ear-less, stitched up,” Chuck said, reminiscing.

“And I had to tolerate thousands of ear related jokes for weeks, and got called ‘Earnnah’ too” Hannah said, making them both laugh.

“Fucking Luz and his nicknames,” Charles said, shrugging.

“Anyways, I still don’t have an ear, but the flu I was going through had clogged my eardrum and saved me from being deaf on one side, right?” Hannah added, lifting her beer bottle to cheer for that.

“To the flu, baby!” he said and both drank.

A couple of hours went by and both Chuck and Hannah were already feeling more comfortable in each other’s presence. They laughed about some anecdotes, and updated on their current lifestyles.

“So, a tobacco store?” Hannah said, standing under the sun in the backyard, enjoying the warmth of a summer afternoon, much more relaxed. 

“Yeah, it was my post war dream, and I finally gathered what I needed to open it, it’s in downtown, 5th ave and Charleston. It’s cosy, small, but good enough to sell small things,” Chuck explained, clearly proud of his achievement. “You should come by sometime”. 

“I would, but I quit smoking a few weeks ago,” Hannah replied and Chuck looked surprised. 

“Really?” he asked, propping himself against a column he had set to sustain a small roof he had put up in his yard. 

“Yeah, but I’ll probably hit withdrawal soon and I’ll go back to square one quickly,” she replied, mocking herself and her power of will, making Chuck laugh.

“You still sing?” Chuck asked, and she knew exactly why he asked. “I still remember when we found that piano in the Eagle’s Nest, and you sang a few songs to us,” he said and a very small grin creeped up his lips, looking down at his hands. 

That was one of Hannah’s proudest moments. 

“I do remember that, and I still sing, yeah.”

The war had lightened up, somehow. 

Easy Company was on the works to clear the way into the old Nazi Town of Kehlsteinhaus, where they knew, at the top of the mountain, resides the crown jewel of the Nazi Party. A very glamorous house made only for Hitler and his closests friends. 

Winters dictated for the Easy Company to head straight to the Eagle’s Nest, after raiding the town and finding a place to settle for a bit. 

Hannah heard Speirs yelling the orders and they didn’t even think for a second before they started running up the mountain road towards the House. She ran next to Chuck, Popeye and Malarkey. 

They entered the premises slowly, looking around for Krauts, their guns up in arms. And all of them were surprised by the size of the place from the inside. 

It had grey walls, with bay windows every few meters, the sun shining through, illuminating the whole place. There were a few tables with a few chairs each, some silver plates and vases scattered around the living room, a fireplace, and on the far end, a grand, black and shiny piano. 

Hannah was immediately drawn to it, forgetting about the men popping bottles of champagne they found lying around, remembering instantly the songs her grandfather had once taught her when she was younger. 

The boys weren’t paying attention until they heard the first few notes Hannah pressed on. 

“Davis, you can play?” Spiers asked her as they got closer. 

I waited till I saw the sun, don’t know why I didn’t come

Hannah started singing, as a way to reply Speirs. 

Chuck was certainly taken aback by her singing voice, she had never mentioned before she could do that, that she had even learned or anything she did apart from training for the paratroopers and hang with Shifty. 

When I saw the break of day

I wished that I could fly away

Instead of kneeling in the sand

Catching teardrops in my hand

Her fingers seemed to be dancing around the keys like she had been doing that for a lifetime, as her voice shone through the notes she played. There was a sudden peace brought by the song, which no one could remember having heard before that moment. 

Chuck sensed his body relaxing, as he looked at the brunette who met his eyes not too long after.

My heart is drenched in wine

But you'll be on my mind

Forever

For a fleeting moment, Chuck felt no one was there but him and Hannah, as she kept singing, his breath catching in his chest, leaving him breathless. He knew he had been looking at Hannah with different eyes for a while, but he never actually realized it completely until that moment. 

Something has to make you run

I don't know why I didn't come

I feel as empty as a drum

I don't know why I didn't come

I don't know why I didn't come

“From then on, you guys would ask me to sing every time we found a piano laying somewhere in the abandoned cottages,” Hannah remembered, smiling at the memory. 

“Well, you do have a beautiful voice that puts everyone at ease, you know,” he complimented and Hannah could feel how her pulse accelerated at his compliment, cursing herself internally for being so weak for her former NCO. 

“It's mid-afternoon, care for a tea?” Charles asked, when he noticed her blushing, not answering his compliment, knowing he had hit somewhere inside her with it. 

“I can make a quick cake with anything you have in your kitchen, if you want to…” Hannah said, almost rushedly, trying to cover her tracks. Yeah, that doesn’t sound weird at all, Hannah, you fucking wuss, offering to bake a cake after a couple of hours chatting and trying to cover your stupid feelings, sure, yeah. 

“Kitchen’s all yours,” Chuck said with a grin, looking for his kettle to boil water while Hannah looked for her ingredients for a classic vanilla cake. 

As Hannah whisked the ingredients, Chuck served two mugs with boiling tea, placing one next to her as he watched her focused in his kitchen. 

“I swear, most men of the company don’t have all this stuff laying in their kitchen,” she said, still looking down at the mix.

“I’m not most men,” Chuck replied and both chuckled at his comment. “Oh, look here,” he said suddenly, making Hannah turn around.

A black cat with a small bell in his neck walked in, stretching its legs, and walked up to Chuck, placing its front paws in the dirty blonde legs. 

“This is Roe, I got him a few months ago, he walked in with a broken hind leg and never left this house,” Chuck explained, taking the cat into his arms, which made him start purring loudly. Hannah proceeded to pet him, sliding her fingertips slowly in the soft fur of the head. 

“He’s so handsome!” 

“Thank you,” replied Charles, earning a small slap in his arm by Hannah, who chuckled as she kept petting the kitty. 

“You saying you took care of this kitty reminded me of that nun who changed my bandages in Foye, in that church, remember that? She came straight to me, wondering how a woman is in the Forces, and silently, pulled my face and cleaned me up,” Hannah said, remembering the face of the woman in the black typical suit of a nun. 

“She didn’t treat anyone but you, which was either great or very selfish of her,” Chuck said, jokingly.

“She was in a convent, they take care of women mostly, and I am one, so…” she trailed off, wanting to slap the grin out of his face as she felt her heart melting to the view of Chuck, holding a cat between his arms like a child. My uterus is flipping about. “It’s not like no one took care of you boys.” 

“What are you talking about?” Chuck wondered. 

“Holland. All those women, and food, and drinks, and praising,” Hannah said as she put the mix in the oven. She could hear Charles laughing at her comments.

 “I wasn’t doing anything there, I did accept food though.” 

“Oh, Chuck, come on, I saw you with that blonde that was taller than you, kissing you non-stop,” Hannah exclaimed, way too quickly for her comfort, and turned around, pretending to check on the oven temperature; Could you be any more obvious, Hannah, dear?

“You sound jealous,” Chuck replied, with a smirk and furrowed eyebrows.

“I—okay, yes, I was; everyone was treating you all like goddamn heroes and whatnot, while I got questionable looks and fingers pointing at me for being a woman in a uniform… Hell, they must have thought I was the squad’s whore or something,” she defended herself, trying to not blow her cover that easy in front of his intense eyes looking at her from a few meters. 

Chuck felt bad for a moment. He knew she was proud of being the first woman fighting alongside men in a war, knowing she had earned the respect of many, many people, but there was still a long way to go to be accepted by the population in general. 

“Yeah, I wanted someone to kiss me too and give me drinks, I deserved that too, I didn’t have any physical contact with anyone as much as y’all in that time,” Hannah kept going, the anxiousness to cover herself up from showing feelings almost drowning her. 

“I’m sure you would’ve gotten a kiss if you just asked,” replied Chuck, taking a sip from his tea while still holding Roe. “I would have if you asked me.”

Did my heart just stop? Did it just… really stop? Quick, don’t linger in silence too much!

“You’ve always been such a gentleman, Grant, but that was impossible. First, we were in the Forces together and that was very forbidden. Second, I couldn’t ask people for that, that’s just sad and I didn’t look like any of the women there, my hair wasn’t done, I was wearing our uniform and probably didn’t smell the best there,” Hannah clarified, trying to not sound too rushed again. 

“Okay, yeah, partially true, but you don’t need to be all fixed up to be pretty, though.”

He knows and now he wants to play soccer with my fucking heart. Goodness, I hope he doesn’t know.

“To be honest, it’s not like I came back to the states and started dating and whatnot… I did adopt a dog, his name is Trigger, like the one Tab had back in the day,” Hannah said, trying to clear herself. “Oh, and Tab asked me out like a year ago,” she suddenly remembered. 

“Floyd?! R—really?” Chuck asked, clearly surprised. 

“Yeah, he showed up once, with flowers and everything. It was so sweet but Tab is like my little brother, so I let him down slowly and luckily, he accepted it and we’re still friends,” she explained, remembering how disappointed he looked for a second before she explained herself to him and he took it with humour and saved their friendship from awkwardness. 

All the while, Chuck laughed heartily. 

“What? Oh, don’t laugh at him! He’s so sweet, he was always nice with me, even when most doubted the presence of a woman at war, come on,” Hannah defended Talbert, throwing a paper towel ball straight to his face. 

“Hey! No need to get violent!” Chuck retaliated, throwing it back at her. “I can’t believe little ol’ Tab asked you out,” he added, chuckling. 

“You’re all always making fun of people who ask me out or flirt with me,” Hannah added, a sneer creeping up her lips. “Remember that one British soldier?” 

The Company had saved a hundred and forty brit soldiers, without any casualties. Everyone walked back to camp cheerfully but in silence until they entered the barn. 

Hannah didn’t feel as cheerful as the rest. She had been carrying a small infection under her tongue for a few days and cramps were attacking her every now and again, which she didn’t share with anyone trying to avoid some sexist comment about the nature of women. 

Booze was being passed around the brits and the company as everyone cheered and applauded for their exceptional work. Hannah did enjoy seeing all the grins and wide smiles spread around, while she stood in the side, leaning against a thin wooden column, rubbing her back to ease the pain. 

“Moose Heyliger and the American 101st have done the Red Devils a great service, making it possible for us to return and fight the enemy another day,” the captain of the British soldiers exclaimed to the crowd of paratroopers and the Red Devils. “To Easy Company, victory, and Currahee!”

Everyone cheered, drinking profusely, laughing and all around happy, until the same captain interrupted them for a second.

“Oh, and let us not forget to cheer for one more thing: the first woman in the Forces who was part of this mission, Miss…” 

Hannah wasn’t paying attention, she was completely zoned out on the side, until she heard her name being called a few times. She looked up to the Captain, who had his drink up and looking at her.

“Oh—Oh, Hannah, Hannah Davis!” she replied, a little startled. 

“To Hannah Davis!” The cheers erupted once again, but everyone was now looking at Hannah, who blushed furiously at the attention she was receiving. She just gave them all a tight lipped smile, her eyes drifting from one side to another. 

“So, congratulations are in order, ma’am.” A thick British accent interrupted Hannah’s thoughts a while after she had been cheered on. She turned around to find a tall man with a buzz cut, his red beret and a pointy nose. And a very warm smile. 

“Thank you, private…?”

“Joe Seaward, and it’s Sergeant now,” he clarified, taking his beret off as he took a drink. “How is the Force treating you? Good, I hope?”

��Very good, sir, they feel like family already. At first it was weird for them, but I was vouched for by the Battalion chief, and one of the men, who is an old friend from his hometown,” she replied, feeling slightly intimidated by the brit. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling comfortable. And hometown! Where would that be, if I may ask?” 

“Atlanta, Georgia. Can I ask you where are you from?” she asked, looking up at him. Hannah could feel the eyes of Easy on them, but she didn’t dare to look back at them. 

“Birmingham, born and raised,” Joe replied, looking proud. “Uh, anyone expecting you back home?” he suddenly asked, and Hannah understood what he was referring to. 

“No, apart from family, no one special,” she replied, and just got interrupted by another voice yelling at them.

“Sergeant Seaward! We’re leaving, come on!” Joe looked annoyed all of a sudden. 

“Well, ma’am, if this isn’t too forward, when this war is over, and luckily, we’re both still alive and well, why don’t you stay in England for a while and… maybe we can go to dinner together?” He said, rushing as he took a few steps back. 

Hannah thought for a second and, feeling like she had nothing to lose and after not being flirted by anyone in two years, she replied “Sure, Sergeant, if we both survive…”. 

Joe smirked deeply and quickly found a paper and a battered small pencil, scribbling in it and placed it in her hands, before kissing the back of it. 

“You’ll find me with that. Take care, Hannah Davis! Cheerio!” 

Hannah felt like a child meeting her first crush, blushing, with a dumb smile in her face, until she heard the sniggering paratroopers behind her. 

“What?” she asked, already looking annoyed at them as she turned to find them in a half circle around her.

“What was that ‘bout, Davis?” Bull asked with one lifted eyebrow. 

“Nothing–”

“Not nothing, that brit was flirting with you!” Liebgott exclaimed, his lip curled as his eyes darted between the door of the barn and her. 

“The fuck is the problem with that?” Hannah asked.

“No fraternization with soldiers in the Forces,” Chuck added, looking down at his hands. 

“Oh, fuck all of you. It’s the first time someone comes and tells me I’m pretty in two years, when y’all had women throwing themselves at you back at Eindhoven!” Hannah defended herself, shutting them all up. “It’s not like I’m actually going to do something about it, I might be dead tomorrow anyways”. 

“He looks stupid and he’s a brit, we’re all a better catch than him!” Martin added, inflating his chest. 

“The only decent man here is Doc Roe, and you all know that for a fact. I’m going to sleep for a bit, goodnight” she said, walking away from them, breaking the half circle without looking back. 

“I still have that small, battered piece of paper with me, but I never went to see him,” Hannah added, smirking at the thought. “I should’ve stayed in England and find him, honestly”. 

Chuck frowned, “why? Was he really that interesting?”. 

“He was sweet, he had a very attractive accent and hell, how many men do you know that say ‘cheerio!’ When saying goodbye?” Hannah defended Sergeant Seaward.

“Oh, stop talking talking about him already” Chuck said, dismissing her comments with a frown.

“Who’s jealous now, huh?” Hannah joked, pushing him slightly. Chuck just laughed bitterly.

///

Chuck showed her around the house, apologizing for forgetting to do a tour when she first came in.

He showed him some old pictures he had from high school that his mom had taken of him, some of his own family, and even a photo from a high school girlfriend he still had. Charles told him they were still in contact because her family was close to his, until he went to the war and she moved out of the usual address. 

“It’s like the time I was away, fighting, home became a black hole in my memory, like…It couldn’t possibly exist at the same time I was away.” 

Hannah enjoyed learning more from his past, and suddenly wondered if he had ever known what happened and how Easy reacted when they found out he had gotten shot. 

Charles was looking down at a picture when she popped the question. 

“Chuck, did you uh—did anyone ever tell you what happened with Easy when you… When that replacement shot you?” 

He suddenly took a seat on the couch, looking up at her. There was something on his eyes that she couldn’t decipher, but it was between fear and curiosity; his fingers went to linger over his scar absentmindedly. 

“No, I—the guys never told me anything, and I didn’t dare to ask, honestly.” 

“Do you, uh… Do you want to know?” Hannah asked. Chuck nodded, his lips seeming sewn shut. She took a seat next to him, the air suddenly completely filled with tension. 

“Well, you had patrol and we were relaxing in the house, playing cards, some asleep, most smoking and chatting about the end of the war. Also about the points, but, that’s not important.”

“Then, the door of the living room burst open with a pale, very pale and shook Tab. ‘Grant got shot in the head’ was the first thing he muttered. You know, there wasn’t any music around us, but it seemed like it had stopped. The relaxing atmosphere was cut off like when the lights go out with a switch.” Chuck was staring at her, his attention fully on her. 

“But we didn’t have that much time to like… process. Floyd had received orders to find the shooter, and we practically went around the whole town and the ones nearby looking for him. We had the order to bring him alive but neither wanted to lose the chance to put a bullet in him. We were organized in groups, and we divided in three or four people each.”

“We ended up finding him still in Zell Am See. Malarkey found him with Bull and Lieb, they found him trying—” She took a pause, her stomach turning slightly at the memory— “trying to rape an Austrian girl. She was saved, thankfully, and he was brought back to the house where he took the beating of his lifetime”

By that point, Chuck jaw was opened, but his eyes seemed calmer, somehow.

“Did you beat him too?” he asked. Hannah suddenly broke eye contact, looking down at her fingernails fidgeting together.

“Yes, but I only punched him, the rest did the real beating… I was so angry when I found out he was in the house, I burst through the door and went straight with my knuckles to his jaw. I had my hand bruised for weeks. You were away at that point, Speirs and Roe had found a Kraut brain surgeon and got him to work in you as soon as they could. But we didn’t know if you were alive or not. After the rest took their turn with the replacement, Speirs had come back, saying the surgeon confirmed you were going to be okay; then they dragged the son of a bitch over to the MP’s.”

Hannah felt ashamed, her body seemed to be burning when the memories of that moment revived in her.

“I was so scared you were gonna die, Chuck… I wasn’t there when Speirs confirmed you were going to be okay, and I just—I lost it at that moment,” she added, a knot forming in her throat. “Lieb found me, while I was sitting in a room upstairs, on a bed, in the dark, cursing and crying. It wasn’t only you that made me cry, but… I cared about you, you know. You were my friend, we went through the worst together and I thought I had lost y—,” Hannah’s voice broke, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. 

“Hey, hey, Hannah, I’m here, aren’t I?” Chuck said, scooting closer, placing a hand on her knee and another rubbing her back. “I’m sorry for scaring you like that…”

At that, Hannah snorted while she teared up.

“What are you apologizing for? For getting shot? Jesus, Charles, you didn’t ask for it, did you?” she joked through the tears and broken voice, making both laugh cynically. Hannah lifted her head and looked at him, and noticed how his eyes were watery. He sniffed as he tried to recompose himself, his hands never leaving the brunette.

“No, I know, but… I’m okay, you s—see? I just speak like I’m dumb or something now,” he joked. 

Suddenly, something took over Hannah and she hugged him, with her arms surrounding his shoulders completely. Chuck was taken aback at first, but he then wrapped his arms around her waist and stayed there for a moment, neither muttered a word, only sniffs and breathing could be heard. 

Hannah laughs, then smiles down at the picture of a younger Chuck. Some things change, and some things stay the same forever. Chuck is one of those things that never changes.

After a while, after a hug that helped both recompose and even sort of heal wounds that can’t be seen, they went back to rummage through old photos. 

“Oh, look at this one,” Chuck said, pulling a picture from his teenage years, where he was in just his underwear, surrounded by kids holding different pieces of clothing cheerfully “that was in the middle of summer, we were trying to fight the heat with water balloons and I got so soaked, my brother and my friends convinced me to take them off so they could dry. Me, being stupid and young, did so and they stole them and ran away.” 

Hannah laughed loudly, looking at Charles with apologetic eyes.

“How could you be so naive?” She asked, between laughs. 

“Hey, if I remember correctly, you got your clothes stolen once, in Haguenau! And you know it sucks, doesn’t it?” Chuck replied, jabbing his index on Hannah’s arm. 

Hannah had survived Bastogne, with the scarring of her life and one less ear. Everyone was changed, they had lost many men there, including Toye and Guarnere, Muck and Penkala, and lost Buck to shellshock. 

These days passed with nothing much to do but waiting for orders, some training, and finally, after the snow had passed, winter clothes. 

Second Platoon was stationed in a tall, two-story house, with many rooms, filled with beds and some tables. It was battered, most wallpapers looked torn, and the smell of humidity and gunpowder filling everyone’s nostrils.

On a cold morning, Hannah came back to the second floor, where Malarkey was introducing the new Lieutenant Jones to the men.

“Sir?” her voice, smaller than ever, turned everyone around. Some had to take a second look to be sure what they were looking at. 

“What happened to you?!” Don exclaimed, his jaw dropped. 

Hannah was shirtless. She was holding herself trying to keep the warmth of her body, with only a bra, pants and boots on. She looked red in the face, from the shame. Hannah could sense the eyes on her body, taking notice of every single scar she was sporting, and the bandage that was covering one on the side of her hip. 

“I was changing bandages, I turned for a second to get the sulfate and I heard someone running and laughing. I thought there were just some men playing around but they had taken my clothes, sir…” she explained. Everyone could hear the anger in her voice, her jaw clenching tight. 

“Jesus fuck,” Malarkey muttered, while Chuck proceeded to pull the sweater he used under his jacket and quickly helped Hannah put it on. “Lieb, MccLung, Jackson, go find the fuckers who did this, report to Speirs”. 

“I’m sorry, Malark, I—I didn’t want to make any trouble, really, I—,”

“No, don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, okay? Here, it probably smells but it’s better than nothing, I’ll have someone find some clothes if they don’t find yours,” Malarkey said, giving her his scarf, and went back to speak with Lt. Jones, who only nodded to her as a salute. 

“Come on, we made some coffee,” said Chuck, pulling her to where the kettle was in a corner. “Are you okay?”.

“Yeah,” was all she said, hiding herself in her copper mug, drinking the awful coffee they have been given. Then Chuck did something that she wasn’t expecting, but calmed her nerves quite quickly: his palm met the top of her head, and ran down her hair slowly. 

Hannah had seen the men do that to each other, when they had panic attacks or after the death of a fellow soldier, they would hold their heads or run their fingers through their hair. It seemed like a paternal way to hold them close and not let them fall into the abyss of desperation war brings in people. 

And now she felt it herself. Chuck’s fingers brought peace into her body, into her mind. She closed her eyes he kept going, enjoying that as well as the steam from the coffee meeting her cold skin. 

///

Not too long after, and from a window, Hannah and Chuck saw MccLung and Lieb dragging two soldiers from their jackets to Speirs and Winters. Joe talked furiously, clearly explaining what the two men did. 

Hannah chuckled cynically, knowing Speirs would have them doing the worst jobs for the Platoon. 

Her happiness didn’t last long, though. After getting new clothes, returning Chuck’s sweater, she found out, alongside the rest, that they had a patrol to get to at one past midnight. 

Everyone dreaded it, mostly because Second Platoon had lost the most people since Bastogne, and they still wanted them to do a senseless mission. They were ordered to cross the river into German territory and take prisoners to get intel. 

They still had hours to kill before heading to enemy territory, so Hannah decided to find some place to nap, after fixing and cleaning her guns and getting more ammo. 

She wandered around Second Platoon’s house until she found a room on the second floor. She opened the door, walking inside, and instantly found a sleeping body on top of the bed. 

“What? What?!” it said startled and looked up. Hannah didn’t notice at first but as soon as some light shone through the bullet holes on the wooden panels in the window, she saw Grant’s face. 

“Oh, sorry Chuck, I was looking for some place to sleep, I’ll leave you to—,”

“No, no, it’s fine… we can share,” he said from the dark, she could hear his hand patting the bed. 

Hannah thought for a second. She was exhausted, her body was still cold and there probably wasn’t a better bed in the whole house to nap in. 

So, she closed the door behind her and left her jacket and rifle on the floor, and climbed under the wool blanket. 

Under it, she was met instantly with Chuck’s warmth, her side wasn’t cold, as she expected it to be. There was calm, so much calm it was a bit unsettling for Hannah; last time she felt it, mortars fell from the sky and took her friends with the blast. 

But there was something about the gentleness of Chuck’s breathing that helped her, which she couldn’t explain, but silently thanked him for it. 

A few minutes passed when Hannah turned to her side, facing Chuck, who was already positioned on his side. She was unable to fall fully asleep, which was normal when someone tries to relax during a war. 

Hannah just stayed there in silence, eyes closed, her hand dropped on the mattress near her face, when she felt Chuck’s hand a few inches from hers. 

For a moment, she wanted to grab it. 

Hannah had noticed for a while that she was closer with Chuck than with the rest of the men. It was an odd friendship; it’s not like they talked for hours and hours on end but mostly in silence or with hushed, short conversations. But when she was with him, she didn’t feel as much fear as with the rest or alone in a foxhole. 

But he had always been there for her, like she was for him. Through every loss, through every problem. There was an implicit deep trust between them that neither acknowledged with words, but with simple actions. 

And to her, he was certainly an attractive man; with dirty blonde hair, an inviting smile, always polite and shy. And Hannah knew she had felt sometimes a bit of a butterfly in her stomach when he smiled at her. 

Suddenly, her thoughts were hushed when she felt his fingers wrap around hers. 

Hannah didn’t open her eyes, afraid they would show how much speed her blood pressure gained in a split second. But she did reciprocate, after a moment, moving her hand so his fingers intertwined with hers. 

Neither moved, neither spoke nor opened their eyes. And finally, both fell asleep until Liebgott woke them up a couple of hours later.

He opened the door loudly, letting in some light. Both Hannah and Chuck sat up quickly, startled and disheveled, looking at Joe like he was crazy. 

Joe looked at both with a deep, playful smirk before saying, “We have the meeting at CP in ten minutes, let’s go, come on.”

Thankfully, Joe didn’t notice that Hannah and Chuck were still holding hands under the sheet; but when they caught it, as Lieb left, they quickly unwrapped them and rushed to get their things, without saying another word to each other.

///

Night came around nicely. 

Both Hannah and Chuck were enjoying their time. Hannah had clearly relaxed, mostly after they had talked about what happened to the NCO, feeling like she had let go of a heavy weight she carried on her shoulders. 

Charles offered for her to stay for dinner when the brunette said she still had to walk her dog, even though she knew Angelina had probably done that already. He insisted, saying the leftovers taste even better reheated on the grill. 

Hannah laughed and agreed to stay, as long as she could help with it. Her day has been better than expected, way better. But she still had that small pebble in her shoe about her feelings towards Chuck. A part of her yelled that she should come clean to him, and be done with it, no matter the result. The other part also yelled that his friendship was more valuable than risking it for something more.

But the tiny voice in her head still insisted with No, no! He doesn’t feel that way. He hasn’t flirted with you, or showed some clear sign of attraction, Hannah! Have dinner and pretend it’s all good. 

“Hey, can I ask you something? This might sound a bit weird,” Hannah said, with a sneaky smile while Chuck revamped the grill. The former NCO just nodded in response. “Why aren’t you married?” 

Chuck snorted, looking surprised and slightly offended. “Aren’t you the one that used to complain that women are always pressured to get married, and maybe they shouldn’t if they don't want to?” He asked, almost complaining. 

Hannah laughed and put her hands up in her defense.

“I don’t mean it like that, Charles Grant! I just… I’m surprised a man like you, who does all this, isn’t at least dating someone,” she clarified. 

“I didn’t say I wasn’t dating someone,” he replied, without looking at her.

There it is! So, that’s what it's like to get your heart punched, huh? 

“Oh, yeah, I mean—Of course, sorry–,” Hannah added, suddenly stumbling upon her words as she felt her hands shake slightly. 

Chuck snorted again, this time a hearty laugh escaping his lips. 

“I’m not Hannah, I’m not seeing anybody at the moment,” he added, smiling as he moved the charcoal around the grill. 

Hannah had a rush of anger suddenly, wanting to throw something at him and yell you fucking asshole, I’m in love with you, do not do that to me!!!

But she held herself in, looking rather unphased, and just nodded disapprovingly. 

“I, well… I haven’t met the right woman, you know? I’ve seen some people, yeah. Babe set me up once with this redhead who could’ve been Malarkey’s sister for all I knew and it was going good at first but… Fuck, I was so bored!” he said, showing the annoyance in his face at the memory. “She was nice and all, but she was just… so fucking boring. She talked about her hair and stuff she does with her lady friends and she hated when I told stories about the war.”

Now it was Hannah’s turn to laugh. “She hated it? Why?”. 

“Who the fuck knows, maybe it was too g—ory for her, or she didn’t want to hear that one of the men was being called ‘Gonorrhea’. Hell, she didn’t even want to hear how I got the scar in my head or rather, the explanation of my slurring when I speak and my lack of strength on my left side,” Chuck said and sounded rather offended. 

“Someone has to either appreciate your scar and the sequels, or get the fuck out of your way,” Hannah said, approaching him with a beer in hand. “Don’t ever feel ashamed for that, Chuck, I’m not ashamed of having one ear, honestly. I think it’s pretty nice. Who can say that is different when their bodies are complete and in perfect state?”. 

“It’s boring, isn’t it?” he added.

“You and me, Chuck, are different. And that’s good. Toye and Guarnere have one less leg each, they’re fucking awesome too.” 

Hannah’s heart leaped at the sight of Chuck looking suddenly proud of himself, and when he looked at her to clink their bottles, she could’ve sworn that, if she had the ovaries, she would’ve kissed him right there and then.

///

After dinner and a few more laughs, Hannah called it a night. 

Her heart felt slightly heavy for not having dared to confess what she was there to do in the first place. 

“Well, my dear Grant, I have to head home,” she said, as she put plates down the water in sink. 

“Already?” Chuck replied, looking surprised.

“It’s almost ten in the night!” she exclaimed, drying her hands on a towel that hung from the oven door handle. 

“Want me to call you a cab? Lieb is probably still around working with his.” 

“No, don’t worry, I’ll walk. It’s fine,” Hannah replied, and started walking towards the door with Chuck on tow. 

Both stood on the porch, looking around the calm neighborhood. Hannah was feeling so ashamed of herself, slapping herself mentally every second that passed. 

“Well, Hannah, this was a great surprise,” Chuck started, breaking her thoughts for a moment, “we should do this more often, maybe with the guys, sometime, before winter leaves us secluded in our homes.” 

“Of course, but let’s not wait two years this time,” she replied, with a smile creeping up her lips, looking at him. God, how can someone dare be this good looking?

Chuck proceeded to hug her like when he opened the door past noon, when she showed up at his doorstep. Hannah reciprocated, and drowned herself once again in his cologne, not wanting to let go or stop feeling his hands around her body.

“See ya, Davis,” Chuck said as she walked down the steps and she took one last look at him before heading home. 

You fucking wuss, you fucking wuss, you fucking wuss, you fucking, pathetic     w—

“Hannah! Wait!” 

Chuck’s voice startled her as she was reaching the crossroad, when she turned around to find him running towards her. 

Her heart raced, wondering why the hell was he yelling at her for. Maybe she had forgotten something. Yeah, that’s all, I might have forgotten my… keys? 

“Hannah, wait, I… I have to tell you something and this can’t wait…” Chuck started as soon as he caught up to her. “Listen, this might sound weird but… a while ago I—you appeared in a dream of mine. You were talking to me after I got shot and you were begging me to not forget you.”

“Hannah, I took it upon myself to find you but I was meeting only dead ends, the Army wouldn’t help me so I had to… fuck, I had to find Winters and ask him for your information. God, that was embarrassing, but you know Winters, he didn’t hesitate to help. I had your address and phone numbers for months, but I never had the guts to go knock on your door… I thought you might have forgotten me, but… I never forgot about you,”

“I never forgot how we shared a foxhole during our hardest time. I never forgot how we slept in that bed and held hands in the dark. I never forgot how you took care of me when I had that one panic attack in Bastogne, and everything else,”

“What I mean, Hannah, is… I love you. I can’t date other women because they’re not you, and all I want is you. So… please, don’t leave. Not now. I couldn’t believe my eyes when you showed up at my door, fuck, I thought I was dreaming or dead. You had found me and I—,”

Before Chuck could follow through with his speech, Hannah took him by the face and kissed him. 

It was bruising, it was desperate and filled with love. Chuck wrapped his arms around her body, bringing her impossibly close to his body as her fingers found his hair. 

The anticipation was their favorite feeling. They both sensed how long they waited for that to happen, so they sank deeper into it. 

It went on for a few minutes, the night time seemed to have stopped for both, like everything had disappeared except for them. 

After they parted, both panting, their foreheads connected, Hannah opened her eyes and found Chuck’s cheeks stained with tear trails and that explained the salty taste in his lips. That made her smile widely as she still held his hand between hers. 

“Can you—do you want to s–spend the night with me?” Chuck asked, opening his eyes finally. 

Hannah just smiled widely, pecking his lips as she pulled him by the wrist towards his house.

///

Making love to someone you have craved for years makes the hours longer.

Both Hannah and Chuck were sure of that while the latter moaned loudly as Hannah rode him; his hands were bruising against her hips as she moved, holding herself in his shoulders, kissing him every now and again. 

Hannah never thought she would see Chuck like this. With sweat rolling down his forehead, his lips swollen and his eyes squeezed shut; to see his naked torso and his chest heaving up and down, which was covered in different scars that only made him even better looking in her opinion.

The man was almost ethereal in the dim light of his bedroom.

She enjoyed every bit of him as much as she could, like that could’ve been a fleeting figment of her imagination that she had to hold tight between her fingers before it could slip away. 

But reality brought her back when she felt the pain of his fingers digging into her hips. Hannah didn’t mind one bit.

She just loved to see how overwhelmed with pleasure he was, how he propped himself into his elbows, wrapping a hand around her bottom to carry both into the bed frame so he could sit and find her lips with his as he rode into his climax. 

Of course, Chuck being the gentleman he was, caring, he helped Hannah ride into hers, enjoying how she cried out his name loudly like it was the best song he had ever heard. 

///

Chuck’s fingers ran down Hannah’s bare shoulders, enjoying the dampness. It was soft, it was warm and it also a tad bit freckled. His fingertips followed down her arm until they met her face, that laid upon the back of her hands as she laid in her stomach. 

 Her eyes were closed but she was still awake. Hannah was just soaking on everything that happened through the day, and now, through the night, as the clock ticked into two in the morning. 

Chuck sat parallel to her, and his fingertips went all the way back to walk down her shoulder blades, into the deep line of her spine, meeting a few moles spread out here and there, which sent very slight tickles to the brunette. 

“I kind of can’t believe this just happened” he muttered, turning to lay his head on the small of her back. He could feel the vibration of the small laugh she let go at his comment.

“Me neither, Chuck… but I, uh… I have a confession, which I think will make you laugh,” Hannah replied.

“Do go on…” he replied.

“You told me you looked for my information with Winters, right?” Hannah asked.

“Right”.

“Well, when I looked for you too… I did the same,” she said and felt his head suddenly turn to her at her words, “and when I said your name, he gave me a weird look, but now I know it was a ‘I know something important about this that you don’t know’ look”. 

“So, wait, we l—ooked for each other in the past few months, and we did exactly the same shit?” he said, struggling slightly. 

Hannah heard the clicker of the lighter and looked back at him, lightning a cigarette with a shit eating grin sprawled upon his lips. 

“Exactly what I’m saying,” she replied, laying her head back down. 

“Another reason why I would like to marry you, then,” he added, like it was nothing.

What he didn’t notice was the speed in which Hannah’s eyes widened and her heart started thumping inside her rib cage. 

“I’m sorry?!” she asked, sounding a tad bit anxious. Chuck was never one to say rushed things like that. 

“The first reason is how powerful and relentless you were and still clearly are. You know how I know that?” he asked, and she could feel his smile still in his lips.

“No, how?”

“When you confronted Sobel before we went to Holland. Of course, I didn’t know at the moment the amount of feelings I had for you, but… I think I did have some of them roaming inside me,” Chuck said, like he was the one who stood up to Herbert Sobel, “but that was just plain hot,” he finalized, and turned to look at her; Hannah was just looking at him like he was crazy. 

The night before, everyone was cheering for their job. They were done, they were bound to the States and all the Easy Company wanted to do was drink and laugh. 

For everyone’s demise, Lipton announced how they were heading back into war, to Holland, killing the mood instantly. 

As the replacements were getting helped and guided by Bull, rather than Cobb, who could only brag about stuff he never ever did; Chuck was packing her stuff near Malarkey, Bill and Hannah. 

“I swear I thought by this time I was gonna be home, with a hundred in my pocket, flowers for my mama and nearing Christmas with my nieces and nephews” Malarkey said, fixing his bayonet. The rest scoffed, still bitter by the news.

“I miss the coffee from hometown, there’s this beautiful place in Hamstown Square, it’s very small and cozy, and the pastries are the most delicious I’ve ever had” Hannah said, looking like she was talking about the love of her life. 

“Guys, look!” Bull said, interrupting them, pointing to their right.

On a jeep, carrying some stuff behind it, sat Herbert Sobel, their former CO, the nightmare that trained them back in Toccoa. Hannah knew she didn’t train with him as much as the rest, but a year with that man was more than enough. 

“Fuck, no…” Hannah whispered so just the boys around her heard her “No, not him”.

“Don’t—Pretend he’s not here,” Malarkey said to her, tying the loose ends of her parachute to her shoulders as Skip came to them scowling like the rest. “Y’all too, do not look at him”. 

Neither obliged, all of them stared at the man passing by. 

“The hell is he doing here?” Skip wondered, without getting an answer.

Sobel walked in a straight line near the men as the truck behind his jeep unloaded, looking between the men with his usual air of superiority untouched. 

Unlucky for Hannah, he had met her eyes not too long after, and the man approached her, before the rest could make themselves scarce. 

“Still alive, uh… Davis?” Sobel asked, scowling at the brunette.

“Pretty much, sir. Still teaching at that school… somewhere?” she answered, provoking a few small gasps around her. Sobel scowl just deepened.

“Do not disrespect me with that tone, private” the taller man threatened, his jaw clenching tight. 

“Earn the respect, like you once taught us, and I won’t,” Hannah replied, her tone dripping with bitterness and irony. She felt a hand in her shoulder and knew one of the men was probably trying to calm her down. “You came here and act surprised that I’m still alive? No, I deserve more than that, sir”. 

“You shut your mouth right now, private! This—this is the reason why women shouldn’t be allowed in the army; they’re too emotional!” Sobel exclaimed, almost yelling to get attention, which only made Hannah even more furious.

“If you were in our command, if you were our leader, we would all be dead right now. Don’t you remember that drill we did back in England? Why do you think you were ‘promoted’? And no, I’m not scared of you, go write me up if you want to; Winters is south of the camp, third tent on the right. Colonel Sink is in the next tent to his, the fourth one,” Hannah felt like she couldn’t stop, her anger overcoming her; mountains of words and feelings that were accumulating, finally leaving her chest. 

Chuck couldn’t believe the words that came out of her. 

Everyone awaited without breathing for an answer, a yell from Sobel, something. But nothing came, he just scowled, breathed hard, and before anyone took a breath again, he turned around tight in his heel and left to the back of the truck. 

Hannah took a breath and turned around to finish prepping, when she found many of her fellow paratroopers smiling at her, some nodding in approval even. Johnny Martin crossed by her side, squeezing her arm, as he whispered a small “good one” for her. 

“I fucking hate him, that felt really good”, she said to Chuck, turning to adjust his jumpsuit. 

Chuck just stared at her, feeling hard to believe what just went through. Their former NCO was just bashed in front of everyone, and no one, not even one paratrooper came in his defense. 

His eyes roamed through her face as she fixed his suit and talked about something he wasn’t paying attention to. Suddenly, he was looking at her in a different way, one that would grow over time during the war.

///

The night caught up to Chuck and Hannah, both deep asleep on his bed. The brunette laid her head in his shoulder, on her side, while he was laid in his back, with his cheek against her forehead. 

Though around dawn, Chuck’s body started to shook. It came softly at first, just a few twitches, until it became a whole storm inside him. 

Hannah stirred up and saw how every muscle in his arms and chest were clenched, and he muttering something she couldn’t comprehend. Clearly, he was having a nightmares. The nightmares that seemed to never end, which felt like a punishment that everyone had to endure post war. 

The brunette placed her hands around his head as she whispered, “Chuck, Chuck, it’s okay, it’s just a dream, wake up, love, wake up.” 

His eyes shot open, looking terrified as he gasped for air, his hands fumbling to find her. 

“Hannah, Hannah!” He exclaimed, as he finally met her eyes. His body was shaking until he realized she was there, looking down at him, with a tired, disheveled smile. 

“It’s okay, love, I’m here, I’m here,” she replied, running her fingers through his hair, kissing his cheek before looking down at him again. 

The first light of the sun shining through the white curtains, illuminating both with such warmth it made Hannah’s heart swell. 

“I’m sorry, I’m s—sorry, Hannah, this still happens…” he explains, his hand tight on her side. 

But Hannah just smiles sweetly at him, “it still happens to me too, Chuck, it’s okay, there’s nothing to be sorry about,” she explains, admiring his deep blue eyes. 

“Can you… can you sing to me?” He asked, sounding almost embarrassed to ask for it. 

The touch of your lips upon my face

Your lips that are cool and sweet

Such tenderness lies in their soft caress

My heart forgets to beat

The touch of your hands upon my head

The love in your eyes, ashine

And now at last, the moment divine

The touch of your lips, the love in your eyes

The touch of your lips on mine

Chuck closed his eyes as her singing filled his ears. He haven’t felt peace like at that moment, not since the war. Hugging his mother, playing cards with his brothers or the men from the Company brought joy, but peace; peace came from Hannah, wearing his shirt, at dawn, singing to him. 

And it was the same for Hannah. 

Both knew the nightmares will continue to haunt them, and that their lives will go on, but at least, they were going to go through it together. 

And that was more than enough for them. ///

[dredreadsdrawing]

Oc-tober Day 13: Future

........... Yall ready for a bigass story dump? Oh boi. Here we go..... (also bonus points and possibly a free sketch will be given to whoever guesses what this story was originally a fanfic of ;p) Again, hate these sketches but im short on time for these posts lol and my pen tablet broke. No more pen pressure, the lines come thick and round always now. big oof.

This story is set in an apocalyptic future.

Small note, i had written originally written half of this in a post, it crashed and didn’t save, so i rewrote it and it became more detailed and uh. im basically like. almost halfway through the fuckin story so..... please enjoy? :,3 I tried going full but its so much plz i cant ah i already have two other oc-tober prompts to complete ;o;

I would also like to specify that uuh this story situation is something I need to work out the kinks for lol. Definitely. Buuuut this is all I have for now XD please take it with a grain of salt. Oke here story:

-        First and foremost, make no mistake, the Yellow and Pink siblings are the main characters. I haven’t fleshed out the others as much as I have these two because of this.

-        It starts with Yellow and Blue. Friends since before they could walk. Their parents were already friends, so it was only natural. Pink was born once they finally hit school, and she grew up seeing Blue as a second brother figure. He was clearly a part of the family.

-        As time went on, though, these familial feelings were turning into something else. Yellow was hit with the realization that he liked his best friend. More than that, he was head over heels in love. But there were lots of problems with this.

-        For one, as soon as he realized his feelings, Blue had made it big in the newest gaming scene. The newest consoles had yet to be mastered, but he pioneered it, creating the first high scores, and charming the onlookers with his commentary as he did so. The rest of the bunker took him in as a new young celebrity.

-        Another big problem was, of course, how close they already were. ‘Brothers’ this, and ‘siblings’ that. The world already saw them as having this relationship, Yellow himself has told them before that Blue was this to him. But now he wasn’t. Yellow could die from embarrassment and shame.

-        And no matter how hard he tried following behind Blue, Yellow just isn’t as gifted; neither on screen nor with his people skills. Yellow does well enough to be a part of the top, but he never stands out. He doesn’t feel special enough.

-        Meanwhile, Orange and Pink are the best of friends. When Pink was little and saw how well her brother got along with Blue, she felt she wanted something like that too. She found her match at school, with the shy and quiet Orange. She was always nervous, but when she opened up, Pink found her to be clever, quick witted and sarcastic. She was a blast. They were inseparable babies, and quickly, they made a promise.

-        It started with Pink proposing to Orange. She liked her! They should clearly get married! But Orange wasn’t so quick to agree. Marriage is such a big commitment! Her mom would never allow it! So they compromised. No matter their future, they’d live close together. They’d always be together.

-        Even as Orange’s older sister took a dislike to Pink’s rowdiness.

-        As time went on, and puberty hit, some things came to light. Pink was very much into girls, in very explicit ways. Orange was…. Not. Nothing explicit for her, thank you very much. Through teenhood, the two kept their strong friendship, though, and always comforted one another. Lots of Pink’s girlfriends ended up jealous of Orange, but Pink would stop them at their tracks. Orange would always be a part of her life. If they don’t get along with her, there’s no point keeping a relationship that doesn’t recognize this.

-        Moving onto the plot, here it is. Everyone is already an adult, Pink and Orange being the youngest. There is a prestigious event that’s going to happen; the launch of the newest console that will feel the most life-like. To celebrate this launch, seven players will be chosen through competitions, and they’ll get to play the first quest in a livestream. It’ll take them three days.

-        Competitions come and most people that were already suspected to be chosen make it. With two surprises. Yellow, who barely got top due to pure luck. And White who��� well, Orange is the best medic, hands down. Everyone knows she knows her strategies and most effective ways to save the group. She’s effective. Always where she needs to be. And yet, even though she got the highest score, she’s been pushed aside and her place in the team was given to White. Everyone screams malarky.

-        Pink is pissed for her friend. She was going to have a great time with her in the game! They would be pioneers together! Orange calms her down. Pink should have fun without her, it’s not a big deal. Orange still has her high scores, and she can keep her notoriety. This won’t affect them in the long run. Pink relents but isn’t happy. She hates White and sees him as a prissy elitist. As they go to get lunch, they pass Red. Pink casually invites her to eat with them. Red says she’s busy. Pink is disappointed and Orange laughs. Pink’s got her eyes on Red. If she can’t spend her time with her friend, she’ll be spending it getting closer to her instead…

-        Orange goes home and mopes in secret. She stayed calm for Pink’s sake but she’s really taken this loss hard. She needed to make a break in her record. Have a flashy accomplishment. And it was stolen from her. Her older sister comes in. She’s the head of coding for this new game. Orange mopes around her, begging for her to let her in, or to at least tell her why she didn’t make it. Her sister keeps her lips shut. But. She does concede that it was unfair. She prepares Orange’s favorite dinner and bought her favorite dessert. Orange smiles at the heartfelt show of sympathy and doesn’t bring it up again. Whatever it was that happened, it wasn’t her sister’s fault.

-        White is from a legacy of high-rankers. They’ve always kept their marks perfect, and drilled perfection into their kids. IF there wasn’t a white player in a prestigious event, they had failed. Out of the newest generation’s three, White is the youngest and…. The least skilled. They try! They’ve worked so hard all their life, but their reflexes aren’t as polished no matter how hard they focus. They just can’t be better than Orange, the true best medic. Before the tournament, he had become depressed. He didn’t even want to try out for it, knowing what would happen. But he ran into Red, an old acquaintance from past games, who picked up on how red his eyes were. She treated him to a warm drink. She let him vent. She showed genuine concern, and was gentle as she reassured him she knew his worth. He’s always been a great partner in the games she’s played with him. She knows he’d be a great addition to the team if he makes this. With her words of confidence, he’s flushed. A renown sense of hope…. And a new attraction makes him try harder. He competes. He pushes and pushes to save his teammates. But he’s just not as effective or calculative and Orange gets the big win save for hers. She won, fair and square. But when they present the awards…. It’s White they call out. He’s…. floored. He didn’t win. Why was he getting into the group?

-        He accepts the award. He’s not happy about it, but… it’s all he can do. He asks his family what strings they pulled. They never give him an answer. They don’t even congratulate him or leave any messages as he prepares to stream. He’s left alone to face the wrath of the people who knew Orange deserved his place, her best friend Pink at the forefront. To treat him like the petty sore loser he didn’t want to be. He slapped himself. He can’t let them win. He’ll do it. Red believed in him. He’ll show them what he’s made of with this game! He won’t die. And… he notices the looks Pink is giving Red. He doesn’t like that. He’s going to get closer to Red for sure. He knows he stands no chance with her… but he wants to be someone she opens up to too. And she may not like him romantically, but Pink is in no way someone who deserves her attention. With how brash, rude and self-centered she is? White hates her. They’re going to keep butting heads.

-        Yellow and Blue practice together nonstop. They are in sync, years of getting to know each other’s play style has them adept to being a team. After beating a favorite of theirs, they go out to celebrate. On the way there, Blue keeps being stopped to be congratulated. No one congratulates Yellow. Not that he minds… he doesn’t do well under the spotlight. But… as they sit down to eat, Yellow’s concerns bubble up. After a few drinks, he comes clean. He’s not sure he deserves to be a part of the team. It was pure luck that he barely scraped by and got the most points. He doesn’t even remember what he did to get them. Blue pats his shoulder, and shakes him. He reassures him its only his insecurities making him feel like this. Yellow deserves to be there. And he won’t be alone. Blue will always have his back. Yellow smiles and they have a good time the rest of the night.

-        After a month of preparation, presentations, and practice, it’s finally time. They wave to everyone as they step into the room that will start their procedure. They’ll be knocked out, have their bodies connected to the game, and awaken in it.

-        They’re up. They’re in a metal chamber. They’ve already got their armor suits on, and their weapons are right beside them. It’s a survival game set in what the upper world would look like. They must treat this as real life. Supplies are provided; this is just a trial of the game. The setting isn’t on difficult. Their main focus is to not die, and to get to the end of this delivery mission. They’ll send a note to a sanctuary, the path already set, and it should only take them three days tops. Easy enough. They leave the chamber and take in the view outside, blinking at the harsh morning light. Their livestream begins, their helmets broadcasting what they see.

-        The world is a dump. Nice graphics though. They step out and thus begins the journey. From this point forward, I’ll just mildly explain some events. Some will be more detailed than others cuz this is all a haze.

-        First, as they walk around, they catch the attention of people in cars. Their first bad guys. The bad guys don’t stand a chance against them, and retreat. Red is cautious of them coming back.

-        They stop when they reach an abandoned house, no neighbor houses anywhere. It looks so normal. They step inside and, though decrepit, everything looks ok. Until they reach the basement. An underground lab. Years of gaming has made them apprehensive. They can’t understand what’s going on but this doesn’t look good.

-        Before they can find logs on an old computer, the bad guys they fought before indeed burst through with reinforcements. It’s a close battle, and most of the lab is destroyed in the process. The team beats most of them as one drops a light. The building is set on fire. The team runs away, but Green dropped her gun. Black can’t let them go empty-handed, he leaves his sniper with her and goes back to get it. The fire reaches the lab, to the gas storage and the house explodes while he’s inside. Black is out of the game.

-        Green is miffed. He died so early, and for such a dumb reason! They told him not to go in!! Everyone crowds around them. He’ll be ok, they can yell at him when they win the game. They are comforted by that fact, but still, this loss is taking a toll immediately. They were supposed to be seven and now they are six. So they really will just die and not respawn. For now, they need to continue.

-        The team move forward a bit more but stop to rest for the night once they reach an old city. Red just lost her second in command. She needs someone else to fill in. Pink and White go hard trying to impress her all night. Their stumbling and forcefulness leaves Red more exasperated. She ultimately chooses Blue instead.

-        Where before, Yellow and Blue would be goofing off together, now he has to stay beside Red and help her be vigilant and strategize. Yellow feels a bit left behind again, but Blue reassures it’s only temporary. For them to win the game.

-        They take a rest in an old mattress shop. Perfect for their sleep. They take turns being on watch, not taking off their suits. They were told to keep them on at all times. For safety reasons. And the slight discomfort they felt sleeping with them wasn’t unbearable. It was a calm enough night.

 ~~~

-        A shift in perspective to Orange, she’s been watching the livestream nonstop from the comfort of her home. She checks the media (idk technology I guess these phones just work within their space? Underground? Lolol man idk XD sorry) and everyone is sad about Black being the first to go. Somewhat meanly, people start callously saying Yellow or White should’ve died first.

-        The question pops up. When will they be seeing Black? Now that he’s out of the game, he should be returning. No answer from the game manufacturers. Radio silence.

-        Her sister comes home late that day. She looks frantic and doesn’t even tell Orange hello. She goes straight to the kitchen, picks up a container, and packs in food. She does this when she’s staying the night at the office. Orange is concerned. She asks about Black’s return. Her sister flinches. She stops. After a few, quiet moments, she shakily confesses.

-        “He’s…. dead.”

-        It’s all over the media the next day. There was a malfunction in the game machine. There is a risk of the players dying in real life if they die in game. They just lost Black. Everyone is horrified and outraged. The government tries to reassure the public. They are looking into it. They will bring justice. Orange is beyond worried for everyone, but particularly Pink. She should’ve been there. She wouldn’t let them die. But here, at the Bunker, there’s nothing she can do. Only watch and hope.

~~~~~~~~~

-        Two days left. They’re doing well on time. Their map is a general one, only showing the straight line they need to take. No small details or markers to be had. Pink and White are still at each other’s throats, blaming the other for not getting the position beside Red. A scuffle comes to them. Not the same bad guys, new ones. More sophisticated ones. They aim for their heads, and shout insults at them. Calling them ‘Bomberbees’.

-        In the scuffle, Yellow notices something off. A child by themselves, no older than four or five, in the middle of the street, getting caught in the crossfire. They hide behind an old, toppled over car, but stray bullets hit the gas. It drips and Yellow remembers Black’s death. Without much thinking, they scurry from the fight to pick up the kid and run. Sure enough, a spark from a fire close by lands in the gas, and causes another fire. Then bam, second explosion. The kid is clinging to him, Yellow has gotten them out of the fire, but now they’re being chased by someone from the attackers. They get caught in a shop without exits. Yellow tries to shoot with one hand, but he can’t get the attacker. As they near, they pick up a heavy display, readying to crush Yellow and the kid. A shot hits them in the neck and stops them, making the heavy load also slip and fall on their head. They’re dead. Blue rushes inside. He’s furious.

-        He’s cursing at Yellow for putting his life in danger like that. Yellow lets go of the kid, and they run away immediately, scared of Blue. Yellow is anxious, wanting to follow the child. Blue is incredulous. It’s an NPC. Yellow tries to reason. Maybe it’s a side quest? It’s a kid alone in this dangerous hell hole. They should help. Blue shakes his head, they already lost Black. They can’t lose Yellow. Not for this. He uses his rank, as second in command. Yellow can’t look for the kid. It’s an order. They return to the group.

-        They had managed to kill enough for the bad guys to retreat, but the toll was heavy on their resources. In just these first two days, they’ve gone over half their ammo. Realizing their situation, Red begins prioritizing looting. She was right the first time when she said bad guys return with reinforcements. These new dudes can too.

-        Taking advantage of the big city, they venture a bit to get more ammo. They split into groups. Unfortunately, despite her protests, Pink gets put with White. Red was hoping they’ll work whatever they have going on. They bicker as they leave, and she already regrets her decision.

-        Yellow gets put with Green, and they go the opposite direction. Close to where the child ran off. He recounts what happened as they scavenge around, Green listening with only mild interest. Then she sees a kid herself, at the end of a street with a toppled skyscraper. It motions to them. They follow.

-        The kid leads them to their home inside the topped skyscraper. There’s a bunch more kids. They’re surrounding one of themselves, a hurt girl. The boy Yellow saved quietly steps forward and asks him to help her too. Yellow and Green look at each other. Side quest?

-        Blue and Red are on their own. They have the easiest time out of all of them. They started by looting the bodies. They never really got to appreciate it before, but these gory details…. Went above and beyond. Almost felt surreal to Blue that he was gathering bullets from the pockets of a man’s bottom half torso, his top half across the room. He suspected if he took off his helmet, the place would smell too. Red is quiet, but she eventually breaks the silence. She apologizes for putting Blue as her second in command without asking him. He shakes it off. It’s alright. Black’s death was unexpected. Black’s death. Blue almost shivers thinking about it. Everything in the game has felt so lifelike. He’d hate to go out with a bang like that. He tried making the situation lighter by bringing up what Black would be doing right now. Probably, he’d be escorted to the hotel nearby to stay and watch the livestream until his teammates finished. He’s probably beating himself up over being the first to die. Red shakes her head, remembering how her friend hated losing first. But more than that, he hated being separated from Green. This would be his true hell. And the comments he’ll get on his news feed! The roasts! They laughed, imagining it. All for his lover’s gun. Green has him whipped. Blue sorts through some more piles of trash, the laughter dying down. Behind his smile, he hid concerns. It was so fast to die here. No health bars to keep in check. Nothing but realism. He had to keep Yellow safe.

-        Cut back to Pink and White. Though they hate each other, they do work together. There’s no point letting their disagreements drag the group down. They manage to find an old gun store. Jackpot? As they scavenge, a wild, and mutated animal enters the store. A chase ensues. White is quick and small. He manages to get away fast, leaving behind the stocky and slower Pink. She curses at him for not sticking to her. She gets cornered as more of the same mutants show up. She decides she needs to blow them in one go. It’s her only choice. Though it’s one of her last three, she readies her grenade, but is beat to the punch by a giant beam crushing all three mutants. The dust settles and she sees White on top of the beam, having pushed it down with his entire weight. He’s hurt.

-        He turns on his healing, but it’ll still take a while. She helps him up. She’s salty, but grateful. He’s limping. They’re far from the group. And they still need to go back and check for ammo. Stuck together for longer, they finally break the ice. She was impressed by how quick he was. He hesitantly takes the compliment. As they continue, curiosity burns. She’s been chastising him for so long, she wants genuine answers. She asks him why he chose to be a medic. He says he didn’t. He was forced into it because, naturally, his siblings and parents already filled other roles. She doesn’t like this answer. So he relented?  Just like that? She lets him have it. Orange loves being medic. She put her heart and soul into her job. He just does this because of his family.

-        White bites back. Yeah he gave in. His family is so overwhelming. His entire life was already given goals he didn’t choose. An idea he had to live as. Of course she wouldn’t understand. No one but them would understand. He has no choice. But he doesn’t want to disappoint or be a burden. That’s his reason for training! He…. Breaks down at this. He cries. Pink is very uncomfortable. They reach the gun store and separate again. Its quiet with the occasional sniffles. Pink feels…. A bit bad.

-        They do find ammo. White heals. They walk back. Pink relents after a few minutes, and tells White that… he isn’t.. the WORST medic. He did manage to be second in the competition. That counts for something. He’s surprised by her try at peace. He also gives in. He says he’s sorry for taking Orange’s spot. He honestly didn’t ask for it. But his family… Pink is surprised by this confession. So he didn’t get in because he pulled strings. It was his overbearing parents. She finally gives up her hatred for the short dude. It’s not helping either of them. They return more successful than the others, being the second group back. To Red’s delight, White and Pink aren’t fighting anymore. She gives them both a pat and congratulates them. She’s proud they can work through their differences. As she leaves them, they both sigh at the same time. Then look at each other. Oh yeah. They’re still rivals.

-        Yellow and Green get back late. They tell the group about the kids. Blue is quick to groan, but Red takes an interest. She allows the team to accept the side quest. They just need to help one hurt kid, after all. They turn to White, pleadingly. Can he do it? White gulps, the pressure being on for him to succeed. Now was his chance to prove himself as a medic.

-        Still not sure how to make the healing system work exactly, but ultimately, he succeeds. The kids swear he’s a wizard, but he brushes it off. Still, he’s flattered and riding a high from his success. They say goodbye to the kids, who take a liking to White, Green and Yellow for being nice. They still don’t like Blue and are wary of Pink and Red. Either way, they leave, and the three favored talk about how real the kids acted. The NPCs in this world are well-made.

-        They’re on the move and there’s some lighter bickering between White and Pink as they continue trying to get Red’s attention, but she ignores them. They halt their walking as a familiar event occurs, dirty beat up cars coming and circling them. They stop and open. A big man, clearly in charge steps out. He’s there to give them a warning. When they stepped inside that normal-looking house, they were in Crumble territory. His lackeys foolishly followed behind, and now the building is gone. He’s barely placated these ‘Crumbles’ by making a deal with them. To catch this team and bring them back. His lackeys point their weapons. Are they going to come quietly or do they need to make a scene?

-        Pink is excited. “Oh the plot is picking up!” It’s a fight. It’s super close, the hardest fight they’ve been in by far, but it’s completely thanks to their armor that they get the upper hand, and leave by stealing a vehicle. All those driving games taught White how to be a getaway driver well. They escape, and along the way, ditch the car in case they can track it. They survived the second day.

-        Back to it being night, they make a fire and gather around. They have bedrolls to sleep in, but it’s uncomfortable. One person will stay guard while the rest sleep. They SHOULD be sleeping in their armor no problem. But especially with the bedrolls… its uncomfortable. So Pink takes hers off. As they choose spots to put down their rolls, she ends up setting hers next to White. She tells him he’s impressed her today. “If you can’t make it as a medic, you can definitely win competitions with those skills you know.” White is embarrassed, but… hopeful. He liked the thrill of going fast. Maybe… this could be something he’s good at. As Pink lays herself down, she slips and hurts herself on a jagged rock. She starts to bleed. White stares. They’re baffled. Having never taken their suits off prior, they hadn’t realized they can bleed. “It even hurts.” Pink laughs it off. “Damn, they went all out for this.” White agrees, but it still doesn’t sit well. Red passes them and his concern fades into thoughts of her instead. He gets up.

-        Red is first watch. He stops by to just…. Tell her she’s doing a good job leading them so far. Red is surprised. He never talks to her first, always shy and skittish. She smiles back at him, sadly. She thanks him, but she can’t take the compliment. Black’s loss was a failure on her part. A real good leader would’ve held him back by force. It was a stupid death, no way around it.

-        After an awkward silence (because White didn’t know how to follow that up), Red decides its her turn to be nice. She thanks White for saving them today. Her compliment is genuine, and she follows it with a head pat. He’s incredibly happy from this, and goes to bed looking beet red with a goofy smile. Pink notices. She decides it’s time for her to get a bit more aggressive. Gotta put down all her cards before slowpoke seals the deal.

-        Pink’s shift is next. As she goes to relieve Red, she also tries for small chat. It doesn’t work. Red calls her out for not being in her armor. Pink says she’ll get it in a bit. Red starts to leave, she is tired. Pink blurts in a moment of impulsiveness.

-        “When… all this is done, can we go for a drink?” Red stops and turns around. She’s confused. “Uh.. sure? I imagine we’ll all have a big celebration with alcohol anyways…” “Yeah, but I’m not asking to just get wasted. I’m asking to.. be able to get alone with you.”

-        Ah. Now Red gets it. She’s embarrassed. After a momentary pause that feels like forever, she speaks. “I’m… sorry.” Pink is hurt. She knew she had less of a chance with her but she’s still hurt. Pink brushes it off. “It’s ok.” Red still looks like she has more to say, but… she turns back. She’s tired and now isn’t a good time. The stream is still on. God, Red remembered and so did Pink. She just got rejected in front of the whole Bunker... Pink is frustrated and cant sleep even when her shift is done.

~~~~~~~~

-        Back at the Bunker, Orange watched the confession and felt terrible for her friend. She had been embarrassed today. Still, more than the concern for her love life, was the concern for her life. The confession was secondary to the threat of them all dying.

-        The media has blown up much much more. Everyone was scared for the player’s lives already, but after today’s stream, more joined in. The people that hated White have mostly turned around, finding his day as redeeming. Instead, blame was shifted onto his family as they were now seen for the perfectionist robots they were. But more than that, they have now effectively put their youngest in danger for his life by forcing him onto this game. Very unexpectedly, the Whites…. Showed remorse. They never expected to sign away their child’s life. It was just supposed to be another prestigious event to get their name into. They’re mad at the game developers and are with the people hounding the government to get answers. They’re mad, and they want their family member back. Alive.

-        Yellow also begins getting his own fans. Showing care for the NPCs, especially contrasted with Blue’s disregard of them…. Blue fans are buzzing. What kind of person doesn’t care for children, EVEN in a game? Defenders of Blue make their case, it’s a dangerous situation and they’ve lost Black. Though he doesn’t know it, keeping everyone in the team alive over NPCs IS the way to go. Still, it doesn’t sit well with half his supporters, and alliances are shifting. Yellow is gaining followers.

-        Pink’s bold declaration made her gain new fans. Many proclaimed that if Pink made it out, they would gladly take her. Orange grimaced at these. Red, likewise, got a lot of…. Hate. Pink fans thought she was too mean with her rejection. Red stans defended her right to say no. There was a battle between the two, and in any other day this would be normal, but the underlying pressure of either not making it highlights their hate for one another. These could be their last moments, and now they’ll spend them awkwardly. Orange sighs and drops her phone.

-        All day, Orange’s sister has been out of the house. Though she had taken food with her, Orange guesses it wasn’t enough. Orange hasn’t talked to her all day, not after finding out her friend was in danger and her sister was part of it. There are no words to describe her feelings. Still. With how stressful things are right now…. Her sister should be at her top game trying to fix this. She should be eating well. Orange makes her dinner, still… upset but resigned to what’s happened, and goes to deliver it. Having done this before, she has no problem getting through to her office. She meant to leave the packed, warm lunch in her desk if she wasn’t there, but she dillydallies when she finds the picture of White on her sister’s screen. She looks around. No one is watching her, everyone busy with the catastrophe at hand. She clicks through and discovers. Her sister specifically made the deal to keep her out of the game. To bring White in. In her emails, she seemed aggressive this be done. Even threatening to quit her beloved job. Orange hears the clicking of her sister’s heels and returns everything back the way it was. She sits down at her sister’s seat with the dinner in her lap and her phone in her hand, pretending to have been waiting for her. The interaction is normal. She hugs her, gives her the food, and leaves. On the way out, she sees a group of her sister’s coworkers rush out of a familiar room. The room that’s always been showcased as where the players would be held. She slips behind the cameras and peeks in through the door’s small window. The machine that was supposed to connect everyone’s minds is… empty. They’re not here. Orange’s stomach twists. Where are they then?

-        Hearing more people coming, she rushes out of the corridor and out of the building. She has too much to think about. Too many implications. She. Wants. Answers.

~~~~~~~~~~~

-        One day left. They are close! They wake up and get ready. Their last stop crosses through a town. They’ll get to interact with more NPCs! Everyone is excited. They begin the walk, Blue talking to Red, Green to White. Pink stayed quiet. Yellow is concerned for his sister. All their time spent here, she’s been making googly eyes at Red, and now she won’t even look at her. Oh no. He knows whats up.

-        He tries to cheer her up, reminiscing her old girlfriends… and some other nice girls waiting back home. Pink snorts. She’s not in the mood for this. Not from someone like him. Yellow is hurt. What does she mean someone like him? Much to his dismay, Pink gives him a look. Then she looks back at Blue. … she knew? “You knew?” “It’s… not exactly subtle.” She teased. “You’ve liked him since you wer-“ “PINK! SHUT UP!” “What? Rude.” Yellow looks furious. Slow realization dawns on her yet again. She forgot that they were on a stream. Ooh dear.

-        Now they were both in a bad mood. Yellow terrified of going back when they won, to having clips of his sister’s words thrown in his and Blue’s face. He never wanted to confess! This will ruin their friendship! And the audience backlash!!!! Blue has a lot of diehard stans that… to put it mildly, are not keen on giving him up. To hear his own best friend, whom they barely tolerated already, has a crush on him. Yellow. Was. Scared.

-        Pink feels so guilty. She was already in a crappy mood and now she’s gone and made things worse. It’s her turn to try to reach out and reassure Yellow, when more dust picks up from behind. They hear the sounds of vehicles. Oh great, there’s more. They ready for a fight, but are caught off guard when the cars aren’t stopping. They instead, zoom by, each one trying to wrap a rope lasso around a member as they move. Most of them dodge or cut the ropes in time. Pink doesn’t She’s caught by the midriff and dragged along, her armor taking most of the hits for her as she bounces along the ground. This is NOT her day! Her teammates chase after her, but the cars are too fast. Thinking fast, she pulls a grenade from her backpack. The one she didn’t use against the mutants. She aims, and luck is on her side as she’s able to chuck it inside the open window holding her rope. The car explodes and she’s blown back. She hits her helmet. She dents it. Her livestream is shut off.

-        Her teammates get to her just as soon as the cars double back and try to lasso them again. They’re prepared now, dodging and even pulling someone out by yanking on the rope. They kill them. Per Red’s orders, they aim for the wheels. They get one car to pop, the others drive away, having failed. The car they left behind is quiet. They inch closer. They see the figure inside, staring at them. He opens his mouth, but before he can say a word, Green from behind everyone shoots him in the head. She needed to practice using Black’s gun anyways. Everyone congratulates her for her aim… though it wasn’t as good as it could be. She laughs with them, promising to give up being a sniper one this was over. She’s only taking over because she lost her gun.

-        Pink gets up. From her reads, its clear her livestream set up is too jammed to start back up again. Her footage is lost now. It’s a bummer. Yellow helps her as they continue moving towards their destination, but neither speak. Still mad. Still guilty. They reach the town. It’s huge! And unlike the abandoned city, it’s full of people… They decide to stay and explore a bit. They had time, their destination was just a ways across from here. They’d make it.

-        Trying to distract herself from her conflicting emotions, Pink leaves the group when they’re not looking to go to a bar. There, she finds what she believes to be a mini quest. An old man is complaining about what he calls ‘the abomination’ taking his wares the other day. Pink jumps into accepting this NPC’s quest, to defeat the abomination and retrieve his goods. She follows his directions to the outskirts of town. To a normal-looking cabin. Wanting this to be quick she carelessly blasts the front door open and immediately, a fight begins. The abomination has green fur, different sized golden eyes, and scales and spikes scattered around its body. The abomination makes some clear sounds that reminisce garbles. So it can’t even communicate. This has got to be it.

-        They fight, almost destroying the home in the process. The abomination almost bites the dust with a full face blast, but manages to scurry away, Pink hot on their trail. In the chase, she follows it out of the town… into a valley… behind a fence clearly stating danger… The creature leads her to a cave where it gets darker… and warmer… By the time she notices her radiation alarms going off, she’s already feeling sick and exhausted. She passes out.

-        She comes to outside, feeling something in her mouth. She swallows unconsciously, but gags at the foul taste and sputters. She looks up at the person holding her. The abomination. Pink is quick on the draw…. Except her gun is not with her. Neither is her suit. She panics but a voice is heard from behind. “She saved you, and you still want to blast her?!” She turns around to see a shiny, scaled person judging her. “You should’ve left her in the cave, Charger.”

-        The abomination makes more garbles, with a shrug. Pink is confused. With the help of the draconic(?) (who is the abomination’s brother???) the situation is cleared up. So the quest was a lie. The old man is a smuggler, and the goods they confiscated where weapons stolen from another smaller town nearby. Pink was being played. Pink apologizes, not knowing what else to do. She had thought this was just another clear cut mini-mission. Who knew this game had moral complexity like this?

-        Charger forgives her, to her brother’s annoyance. Pink stick around for a bit, offered a place at their dinner table. She got to meet their oldest brother, and taste what local food is really like. It’s not bad. She gets back her suit and weapon. She’s allowed to go. But before she does… she ends up opening up to these nice NPCs. Why not? Her comms where off and her livestream camera was busted anyways. The NPCs nodded along and Charger gave her a hug by the end. The middle brother gave a few words of wisdom. “So it’s not what you wanted. But at least you’ve got a great friend to add to your collection. And she sounds pretty bad ass… you gotta keep those close.” Pink laughed. Yeah… she’s been lucky in the friend department. She mused how much she missed Orange. She got to leave finally, a load off her shoulders. She went back to the group, where stuff… is going down. The town is in chaos and her team is in the middle of it. What happened while she was gone?

-        When Pink left, the group had decided to split again. Green, Blue and Yellow went to see something (idk lol haven’t worked this out yet) and White and Red stayed together. They explore the local food and shops. They have a nice time taking everything in. They peak a few people’s curiosities, but they aren’t outright being aggressive, so the NPCs leave them alone. It’s a fun day…. One could even say…. It’s like a fun… date…

-        White can’t hold it in anymore. He’s ready to confess. He takes her to a secluded spot and very nervously fidgets with his helmet… taking it off and begins to talk by bringing up a memory. The day Red helped him. Red’s attention is piqued. What about it? White continues. That day, he had hit his alltime low. He was ready to quit gaming altogether. But she… gave him hope again. Made him strive to be someone worthy of working beside her. Her cheeks redden and her eyes widen. She’s realizing where this is going. White continues. Being here, watching her work…. He was content with just staying in the background... but after today. He holds her hand, he himself turning into a tomato. Nervously, he blurts. He wants to stay by her side, even outside of this game. He has his eyes closed. No sounds respond to him. He nervously opens them to see Red’s expression. She looks sympathetic… but that’s it. His heart drops. “White…” His face stays aflame, he wants to cry.

-        With a shaky voice he rushes out. “Oh-nonono its ok I just. I pushed this on you- Im ok I just-“ “No. White, listen to me.” He stops his tumbling and listens. He wont look at her, but he’s readying himself for her response. She sighs, and takes his shaking shoulders. “I like you White… but I’m not… interested in being in a relationship. With anyone.” White’s shakiness drops. Ok… now he’s looking at her. Her expression is sincere. White is confused. Red makes a disgruntled noise. “I should’ve explained this sooner to people… I’m not looking for any romance. I just. Don’t have any interest in it.” She looks away, taking another breath and continues. “I know most people don’t understand it but please… believe me. This isn’t me lying to you to make your rejection easier. I…. genuinely am trying to… get you to understand.” Her expressions. Her trying to hard. He’s seen enough. He’s convinced. And he’s honestly... touched. He sniffles and rubs his eyes, he was just about to cry a second ago. But he feels it’s silly now. He’s still sad, but more than that. He smiles at her. He thanks her for confessing this to him… he hopes this means they can stay friends. She smiles back, relieved, beaming. Of course. She thanks him for understanding and ends the conversation with a hug. It’s a nice rejection.

-        It’s at this moment, that they are attacked. Caught completely off-guard, they are easy targets. Still, they put up a fight. Red can get to her gun and fends them off. White isn’t as lucky. He’s knocked down easily, tied and gagged. He’s got a concussion, but he’s still fighting to stay conscious. Red chases after them, shooting. People around the streets flee from the scene. Green, Blue and Yellow heard the commotion. They run and are ready to help, weapons raised. The kidnappers know they are outnumbered. But they have leverage. They hide behind White, holding his struggling body. If they shoot, they can hit his soft nogging. The one holding him grips his hair tightly. White makes a noise of pain.

-        Pain. In game. The team looks at one another. Red tells them to put their weapons down. They slowly do. A car comes blasting through the now empty streets. Their ride. They’re taking White. If they want him safe, they’ll come with them without any problem. More bad guys get around them. They’re ready to bind them. Red is the quickest shot. She knocks back the person behind her, manages to shoot the two behind Green and Yellow, and Blue followed suit with his own. She points her gun to the one holding White, but a sharp cry of pain makes her hesitate.

-        What was he doing? He twisted White’s arm forcefully and doesn’t stop until it snaps. White is screaming. His arm socket has popped off. It hangs loosely. The holder is cursing at them. They should’ve played nice! He throws White into the car and jumps in, closing the door. The car slams it. They shoot but its too late. White is gone. They’ve lost a member to an unforeseen obstacle.

-        They’ve failed.

-        And more than that.

-        Those cries… wont leave their heads. Red throws her gun in anger. White was in pain. There is pain in this game. Real, fucking pain. Blue and Yellow immediately look at each other. Green is in shock. What the fuck is going on.

-        Pink returns to this, White missing and the group in shambles. Pink is confused. Of course there is pain. Had no one else noticed? They look at one another. They never left their suits. They never got hurt before this. No. Only White has gotten bruises from the pillar he toppled. Only Pink has gotten cut from a rock. Their only concerns were dodging bullets that didn’t even penetrate their armor. They didn’t think pain would be a factor. This new information sets a series of horrid questions through their brains. It was this easy to get hurt. And Black? He died in an explosion. His suit may protect him from bullets but not from fires that hot. He may be chilling back home now, but at what cost?

-        What madman programmed realistic pain into a fucking game.

[juhihuji]

my big cringy text post full of useless info about Juhi Zo (oc)

Uhhh this is in response to the anon from curious cat who asked ‘bout my oc...it was too much text.......

Hey. HEY? r u tryna make me cry cuz that's how you do it I'm so happy ppl like her when I was so ashamed and embarrassed to show her lmao Ah...there's so so so much about her and I've tried typing it out over n over but it's hard to tell her story without going off on long tangents trying to explain other details. Like, it wouldn't make sense without them...and I didn't wanna make this post super long and I'm still embarrassed about talking about it ...I hope u r cool with just hearing random facts and snippets of story about her ah I'm sorry ;_;

I created her with the intention of using her for self inserting/shipping lmao but that's probably obvious...and idk if she breaks any rules of the universe and I feel weird talkin' about her cuz I'm only in the middle of Shippuden so I don't know what the whole world is like lol but uuh

She's left handed

One of her hobbies is jewelry making. She mainly uses wire and ceramic beads and gives them as gifts to her friends. They might wear it to be polite but nobody really likes it lmao

Her team consists of herself, her lil brother Zitien, her big sister Agneya, and is lead by her mom or dad. They switch out cuz they care about spending time with their kids lol

Some of my art depicts her skin tone as richly saturated for aesthetic reasons, but she's meant to be quite grey because of a mineral in her body! It's part of her kekkei genkai™

She has a seal on her back and it's got two parts! One seals her entire weight, the other seals her entire temperature???? Kinda like how Tsunade's holdin' in her old, like suckin' in a gut. It's like that with Juhi's body temperature and weight and she can partially open each seal individually. Full grown at 5'4", she weighs 3.4 tonnes unsealed and her body is a hot hot 2100°C when unsealed. She's just super dense and hot and heavy! Like she's made of metal or something. When fully unsealed the weight and heat can warp her body structure as if she's melting, and when she seals that shit back up and her body cools back down she could remain permanently deformed! There are doctors on her home island who specialize in fixing some of that through corrective surgery, like parts of her skeleton fusing into one big mass, but not everything can be fixed! So she's gotta watch it!

 She has nightmares about her face melting and people being scared of her or not being able to recognize her cuz you can't bring the face back to normal after it melts. Everyday she wakes up and checks her face obsessively to make sure all her features are the same distance apart and the same shape and whatnot

Even when fully sealed, full grown she weighs 300 pounds with an internal body temp of 40°C and for that reason she sinks like a rock and is terrified of large bodies of water! Learning to walk on water was the first thing ppl of her clan with the same kekkei genkai learn.

When her temperature is higher, she can (for the most part, aside from the melting at the highest temps) withstand and survive temperatures the same as hers or slightly higher, but for example at an internal temp of 400°C she will burn at 450°C

 I love drawin' sweat and I even draw Juhi with sweat on her body cuz I can't help it but she doesn't sweat! She's always dehydrated and most of her body's moisture evaporates through exhalation as a complication caused by her kekkei genkai.

People from her island are trained to use a different type of chakra and her kekkei genkai also makes her body extremely efficient in using that chakra, so a little goes a long way. One of the things that comes from that is she doesn't typically get uncomfortably hot or cold. She can sense changes in temperatures, but her body is really efficient at maintaining homeostasis and she just don't get too bothered by it! To a point, anyway.

wow i talked lots about her KG but just the boring useless facts about it and not what it actually is but i did say random hahee :•)

For her Naruto AU she exists on a branching timeline, one branch where she falls in love with Shino and one where she falls in love with Kankuro! ew!

In the Shino timeline she takes on a more taijutsu focused fighting style thus we have taiJuhi! 

Because of her weight/density she moves pretty slow for a ninja, but her mental reaction speed is typical of any decent shinobi. So don't let her catch you cuz her punches swing like a cannon and she will grapple her opponents and cook them alive. Her weight also makes it hard to knock her off balance.

Not great at long distance fighting. Sometimes uses a metal two-handed weapon.

Bein' a ninja's really tough for her since she's slow, but she wants it badly and works hard to keep up

Later in life she moves to and works in Konoha at a nuclear power plant owned and run by her clan wtf

Shino has been to Juhi's home island a couple times and he has to wear a lead suit to survive the harsh and nearly uninhabitable environment. The people from the island evolved to withstand it.

The first time he went, they took a ship to the island then went by train for a few hundred miles into the centre where the village is. The first time was for a mission, another Aburame came too. Some time during their friendship, Juhi gifted Shino beetles from her island that can survive the environment. Shino selectively bred them to be usable as an extra layer of protection beneath his and his clansman's skin to protect their internal organs while on the mission! How goofy

In the Kankuro timeline she takes on a more ninjutsu focused fighting style thus we have ninJuhi! 

Later in life she works a job 6 months out of the year on her home island as a sentinel for the family who governs the island?? 

In this timeline she dies some time during the events in Boruto ig (still haven't gotten to Boruto yet tho). Her seal malfunctions and everything she touches burns or melts and everywhere she stands she sinks into the ground. She's far from home and all she can think to do to save everyone from herself is to run into the ocean. Her footfalls sound like thunder and the ground shakes deeply as she pounds the ground running towards the shore. The sand turns into a hard crust beneath every foot step that hits the beach. Suddenly, her sprinting figure turns into noise and white haze as she reaches the tides and nobody can see her anymore. It's the water, hissing deafeningly loud as it evaporates into thick clouds instantly upon contact with her body. Her body's efficient energy usage takes her far into the ocean before she begins to run out of chakra. Her body starts to cool down from the ocean water and she's getting too tired to hold up the weight of her 3.4 tonne body. Eventually she crumples on the ocean floor and dies, melting and embedding into the earth's crust.

She loves spicy food

uhhh that was a lot of boring information sorry about that! wanted this post to be short but got carried away :•( her life's supposed to be kind of a crooked painful mess but she's pretty cheery cuz to her it's all normal and she's got the love and support of her friends and family baby! ain't that how it always goes in Naruto also sorry for sloppy writing im dum

[tuanyiems]

The Space Between Your Fingers 01

Mark Tuan x OC Genre: Fluff; High school AU! Words: 2.5k [Masterlist] [Series Masterlist] a/n: Thank you to everyone who voted! I’ve decided to pick this story back up and post it. Fair warning though, I wrote this a few years ago before Bambam and Yugy glowed up lol So they’re quite cute in this haha...ALSO! I’m following the Korean high school system in this story, which goes from 10th through 12th and begins in the spring ^^  - Ch. 1: The First Meeting Go Ahnmi stood behind Yugyeom, as if she were trying to sink into his shadow. But Yugyeom took hold of her shoulders and pushed her into the circle of guys awaiting her. “Guys, this is my older cousin, Go Ahnmi. She’s transferring to our school tomorrow,” he explained to the other six guys standing before her like towers. They all sent smiles her way, although Ahnmi could only stare at her shoes. She slowly raised her head, not looking at anyone in particular. “H-Hi,” she half-mumbled. “Cute!” one of the guys cooed loudly. He stepped in front of her, bending slightly to meet her eye level. “My name is Jackson! What year are you?” Ahnmi squirmed under the sudden eye contact. She looked away only to meet eyes with another pale-faced, handsome boy, making her even more nervous. She stepped back towards Yugyeom, almost leaning on him. He gave her another nudge. “Um, I’m a 96-er. I’ll be a 2ndyear.” “Hey, you’ll be in my grade then! We might even be classmates. My name is Choi Youngjae!” another guy introduced cheerfully. Ahnmi glanced up to see a boy smiling happily, his brown hair was tousled messily and his eyes were curled into little crescents. Ahnmi mustered up a small smile towards him. “Youngjae-sshi…nice to meet you.” Jackson burst out into a sudden squeal. “She’s so cute!”

She blushed, staring back down at her shoes. The guy beside Jackson chuckled. He had neat, black hair and was dressed just as neatly in his cardigan and button up. He squeezed Jackson’s arms firmly. “Please ignore him, Jackson is…very friendly. I’m Park Jinyoung by the way. Jackson and I are both seniors.” Another guy who had been standing quietly in front of her cleared his throat. “My name is Im Jaebum. I’m a third year also. Please feel free to rely on us.” He bowed slightly causing the flustered Ahnmi to bow 90 degrees. “Sunbae,” she said softly. Jackson clapped his hands in excitement, trying to contain another squeal. “Hi!” the next boy spoke up. “I’m Bambam! I’m a first year like Yugyeom.” Ahnmi raised her head to see a skinny boy smiling shyly towards her. She smiled and gave him a nod. “I’ve seen Bambam before.” He looked surprised, grinning even more now. “Really? How?” “Yugyeom, he texted me a picture,” she explained carefully, trying not to notice the intense stares from all the guys around her. Bambam tilted his head curiously. Hesitantly, Ahnmi raised her arms halfway up and diagonally. She bent her head into the crook of her arm, then looked up to find all the guys laughing loudly. “Dab?” “Dab!” “DAB DAB!” “Bambam is always dabbing!” “Yeah, it’s true, I am,” Bambam admitted easily, laughing in embarrassment with the guys. Ahnmi smiled quietly, raising her head more courageously. “Hey,” the last guy to speak said, trying to settle down the laughing guys. Ahnmi turned slightly, meeting eyes with the handsome guy from before. He smiled as their eyes met. He had a cap on backwards so that his light brown hair peaked out just slightly from underneath. “I’m Mark Tuan.” Ahnmi nodded her head, waiting for more to come but he was already looking away. “Ah,” Ahnmi said, realizing he was done talking. She bowed towards him. “Nice to meet you, Mark.” “Yah! Are you blushing?!” Yugyeom called her out suddenly. Ahnmi turned red in the face at the sudden reproach from her cousin. Jinyoung sighed. “Of course, no one can resist Mark’s handsomeness.” he smiled reassuringly at her. “It’s okay. I’m a guy and still feel butterflies sometimes.” Mark laughed at this response. Jackson walked over and took Ahnmi’s arm, pulling her further away from Mark and towards his and Jinyoung’s side. “Look Ahnmi,” Jackson ushered her to look up at Mark’s face, who was still laughing. “Don’t let that face fool you, he’s actually the oldest out of all of us!” Ahnmi made a small gasp and bowed towards him again. “Sunbae.” The guys broke out into laughter again, Jackson jumping up and down with Jinyoung while screaming “cute” over and over. Ahnmi blushed, staring at her shoes again, not knowing what to do. She turned to her cousin. Yugyeom patted her shoulder. “Don’t worry Ahnmi, these guys are probably the craziest ones in the school. If you can survive them then school is going to be a breeze.” Youngjae walked over to her, nodding. “That’s true, especially Jackson. If you can survive Jackson then all the other guys will be like nothing. Plus, I’ll be there to help you too. We’re buddies now!” Ahnmi smiled at Youngjae’s brightness. She was really glad Yugyeom had such nice friends. She turned to Yugyeom, rubbing his arm apologetically. “Sorry you have to take care of me like this even though I’m supposed to be the older one. In the future, I hope you can rely on me more.” Yugyeom chuckled, “I’m holding you to that Ahnmi. You’re gonna be my black knight!” Youngjae laughed. “Yugyeom, why do you look like a giant next to your black knight?” “Hey,” Yugyeom insisted, “these guys, their teasing is no joke. And besides, Ahnmi is a noona~!” “Urgh,” Youngjae grimaced at his sudden aegyo while Ahnmi chuckled to herself. “Maknae role really doesn’t suit you!” “Exactly, so you guys need to stop treating me like one!” Ahnmi smiled brightly now, amused by their bickering. “By the way, Noona,” Bambam called for her attention now. “That was a very weak dab.” Ahnmi covered her laugh. Yugyeom had been sending her pictures of Bambam every time he had a break in class, but she didn’t realize how adorable he was in real life. She smiled at Bambam. “Will you be my teacher then?” Bambam grinned with excitement. “You’re gonna be a dab-addict like me when I’m done teaching you!” “Hey, hey! Guys she’s talking!” Jackson screamed with excitement, bouncing between Jinyoung, Mark, and Jaebum before finally standing right in front of her and Bambam. “What are you guys doing?” Ahnmi glanced up at this bright, puppy-like boy, amused but slightly afraid of his sudden outbursts. The other boys leaned in closer, curiously. “I’m gonna teach her how to dab properly!” Bambam announced proudly. All the other guys groaned. “Don’t listen to him, Ahnmi,” Jinyoung insisted. “We can only handle one dab-addict.” Mark chuckled quietly to himself. “Can you imagine a dabbing Ahnmi?” Ahnmi blushed in embarrassment. Jackson and Jinyoung began joke-dabbing, causing Bambam to join them excitedly. Ahnmi couldn’t hold it in anymore. She began laughing openly, echoing the laughter that was all around her. Yugyeom gave her a pat on the back. “You’re gonna fit right in, Ahnmi ah.” - Mark stood in front of the house gate awkwardly. “Stupid Yugyeom,” he mumbled under his breath, kicking at a rock that was on the ground. The gate opened suddenly, a small Ahnmi rushing out in a beige sweater that looked too big for her and a navy pleated skirt. Her long wavy hair was tousled, looking like she barely had time to even smooth it out with her fingers. “I’m sorry, Sunbae!” she immediately bowed continuously his way. He tried to contain his laughter. “You can just call me Mark. I don’t care for honorifics.” He grabbed hold of her school bag and started walking. Ahnmi blushed. “M…Mark?” He looked at her to go on. She went back to staring at her shoes. “I’m sorry.” He sighed as she apologized again. See? Why would Yugyeom leave this poor girl on her first day of school? It’s not like he couldn’t just miss a morning of dance practice. She was family, after all. “I’m sorry,” Ahnmi repeated. “I should’ve checked the directions to school beforehand.” “Hey,” Mark said, bending slightly to meet her eye level. “No worries, okay? I live right across the street so it’s fine.” Ahnmi smiled shyly. “I-I can hold my own bag.” Mark tossed the bag over his shoulder so she couldn’t grab it from him. “I was once a newbie to this place too. It’s okay to receive help, you know.” Ahnmi nodded her head obediently, trying her best to keep up with Mark’s pace. “Remember to look up,” Mark added. “If you want to remember your way to school.” “Ah!” Ahnmi raised her head up in alarm, realizing that they had already walked for a while and she hadn’t been paying attention at all. She bit her finger with worry. How was she going to walk back home from school? Seeing the sudden concern on her face, he couldn’t help smiling. Jackson was right, this girl was extremely adorable. Even the way she was walking, looking like she was half-racing with him, was amusing. He debated to himself whether to slow down his pace or keep watching her struggle. He eventually walked slower for her. How was this shy little girl going to survive a practically all boy’s school? Her clumsy charm was definitely going to catch the eyes of all the guys. He wondered if she could handle all that attention. She could barely stand the attention from seven guys. He hoped the few girls that were at the school would take care of her. It didn’t help that she was so shy. She didn’t seem like a city girl at all. “Directions are more straightforward here than in the city,” he spoke up. She looked surprised at his sudden speaking but nodded her head. “It’s quieter,” she responded, almost in a whisper. She went back to staring pensively at her shoes only to jerk her head suddenly again so she could see where they were walking. He almost broke out into laughter after seeing that. The second-year boys were in for a surprise. He wondered if there were even any second-year girls. The school had only become a co-ed school this year so the handful of girls that did enroll were first-years. Wow, if Ahnmi is the only girl in her grade…Mark couldn’t even begin to imagine how wild the boys would be around her. “Are you,” Ahnmi suddenly began, “Are you in any afterschool clubs?” “No,” he replied. He paused, then added, “so don’t worry about getting back home. You’re probably going to have seven guys escorting you back today.” She smiled shyly, playing with the edges of her sleeves that went past her hands. She looked up at him cautiously again. She gestured for her bag. “I-I can hold…” But he held the bag at a distance from her still. “Second-year boys are really,” his voice trailed off. Ahnmi tilted her head curiously. He patted her head with a sigh, fixing the hairs that were sticking out. “Just…prepare yourself before we head in.” Ahnmi nodded her head, even more worried now. If only Yugyeom was her age, they could’ve been in the same class. She wished she was a first year student instead. “We’re here,” Mark spoke up, handing her, her bag finally. “What’s your classroom number?” “2B.” Mark smiled, feeling a little more at ease.  “2B is a fun class.” Ahnmi smiled to herself as they walked up the stairs to the second floor. Rather than a fun class, she would just be happy to have a class that liked her, or at the very least, didn’t hate her. She bowed again to Mark when they were at the entrance to 2B. “Thank you, M-ark…sunbae.” He smiled again, amused at her inability to choose what to call him. He nodded for her to go inside. “Good luck,” he whispered kindly before she entered the classroom. Mark laughed while walking to his own class as 2B exploded into a succession of shouts and laughter. She was going to need a lot of luck. - Ahnmi took a sharp inhale when she was greeted by all the boys with shouts of surprise and excitement. “Daebak!” “Yah, 2B just won the lottery!” “WE WON! WE WON!” “AHHH! She’s cute too!” “HEY! What’s your name?!” Ahnmi bit her finger nervously, looking to the teacher for help. The tired looking teacher tried to hush the boys, only to look at Ahnmi apologetically. “Don’t mind the boys,” he said. “They’re just happy to be having a new classmate. Would you like to introduce yourself?” Ahnmi nodded her head shyly before walking up to the blackboard. When she grabbed the chalk, the whole class went quiet. Her back felt tense from all the eyes she knew were on her. She carefully wrote her name. “Wow, even her handwriting is cute,” someone whispered. She wondered to herself if she could just stay with her back to them forever. “My buddy~” a familiar voice called out. Ahnmi turned quickly to see a smiling Youngjae. She returned the smile, relieved to see a face that she recognized. “Yah!” “Who do you think you are, Youngjae?” “Why do you get to be her buddy?” The class broke into another fit of shouts and laughter before the teacher clapped for their attention again. He turned to Ahnmi to continue her introduction. “H-hi,” she began. The guys Ooo-ed and Ahh-ed after hearing her voice for the first time. “My name is Go Ahnmi. I recently moved here from Seoul.” “Oooh! A city girl!” Ahnmi blushed shyly, but willed herself to look up. She locked eyes with Youngjae who nodded his head encouragingly. “Umm, I’m new to this school and this town, so please bear with me. In the future…” she paused before breaking out into a smile, still looking only at Youngjae. “I hope we can all be buddies.” The class began hollering in excitement. “I’m Mr. Kim,” the teacher said to her. “Welcome to the class Ahnmi. Since it seems you know Youngjae, you can sit in the back desk next to him.” The rest of the class groaned with jealousy as Youngjae laughed. “Cute outfit,” Youngjae greeted her as she sat down. Ahnmi smiled at him. “It’s Yugyeom’s sweater.” He laughed, throwing his whole head back. “Looks like it too!” She fingered her sleeves timidly, looking down at her oversized sweater. “I wanted to match with the school uniform.” “Oh, that’s right, the girls don’t have a uniform yet. They might not make a second-year uniform,” Youngjae spoke aloud thoughtfully. “I think you might be the only second-year girl.” Ahnmi looked up at him nervously. She didn’t know if she could handle sticking out so much. “Should I wear a guy’s uniform then?” Youngjae burst out laughing. “I don’t think they come in your size, Ahnmi.” The boys around them turned their heads, looking enviously at the easygoing Youngjae. “Stop flirting, Youngjae!” the boy in front of Ahnmi turned to them and scowled.

Youngjae stood up suddenly. “It’s not flirting! I’m making her comfortable because that’s what friends do!” Ahnmi looked at Youngjae with awe. She wished she could speak so freely like him. She looked at the desk mate in front of her. He was a pretty skinny guy wearing thick, round glasses and had straight brown hair that swept at the side of his face. She courageously made eye contact with him. “I-I like your glasses,” Ahnmi commented quietly. The guy turned quickly back around, his ears turning red. The boys laughed happily. Youngjae looked at Ahnmi cheerfully. “The class atmosphere has become a lot better now that you’re here.” Ahnmi exhaled deeply, glad that things were going well so far. -

Let me now what you think ^^ Thanks for reading! [Masterlist] [Series Masterlist]

[honeymoon-bear]

whats up yall its time for an Extremely Long And Definitely Super Cool Art Rant!!!!!!!!!!! (dont feel bad for skipping this its literally just my string of thoughts typed out hh)

the thing is. that 99% of the artists i know/see on social media like. genuinely like drawing hhh which should be a no brainer huh!!! but for some reason it tends to feel more like a chore to me? i put it off and i procrastinate until im feeling so guilty that i wake up at night in panic bc i havent posted anything in two weeks or smth. dont get me wrong i do like the finished product and im proud of what ive put out so far but the cost of that is so high sometimes?? cause most of the time im too terrified to even open sai and getting started drawing feels like an absolutely impossible task. cause i just dont know if this drawing is gonna be good? have i already peaked? what if this is garbage and ive lost all my art skills and everyone will be disappointed and noone will care and i think my problem is that i just dont really have a reason to create art.  which is why i mainly do fanart i guess? it gives me a reason to care, at least somewhat, to actually draw. i think i havent really drawn personal art since i was 13 or something. cause i just dont see a reason for doing that. expressing myself is embarrassing and cringey (just for me, not when others do it ofc!!), i dont wanna do that, and noone would care about my oc’s (not that i care that much about them in the first place? like theyre somewhat important to me cause looking back i think they gave me a platform to explore my identity but. yeah. idk.) so like??? the thing is. that i only want to create art that i can upload to social media. is that normal? shouldnt i be drawing cause i like drawing??? and this then leads me to being scared of drawing again cause if i cant upload it its pretty much worthless. the things on my tumblr are literally all ive drawn these past months. thats it. PLUS, bc i only draw like once a week, i want to push my comfort zone every time i then do draw cause i want my published pieces to be the absolute best art i can possibly produce!!!! and if i never practice i can only hope for a miracle lol uuuh i kinda lost my point there. this is a bad rant im sorry. typing everything out here helps me sort through my thoughts,,, , oh also: the instagram algorithm is literally the WORST i fucking hate it cause i just cant upload art frequently enough!!!!!!! tumblr and twitter are alright, they dont care about when and how often you upload but instagram? god i hate it. but i dont wanna leave it cause i like the little community im i guess somewhat a part of there? aaah idk. i really dont know :^)) oh ALSO: i feel like i have nothing to contribute to the fandom. my art is alright and all but its nothing groundbreaking? the thing is i dont only want to make art i personally like, like it should be, i also wanna make art i know others will like. so im always trying to find balance between these two? to be brutally honest: im scared my posts will flop!!!! i literally dream about that and wake up feeling like shit. all of this is toxic but i dont know what to do!!! i dont wanna give up my art account im too proud of what ive achieved so far? like 13 yr old me would just burst into happy tears if she saw my insta and i dont wanna disappoint her????? 

so yeah. havent uploaded in two weeks. im scared to get out my tablet. this rant is stupidly long. it feels like im the only one with these dumb dumb problems and i kinda wish anyone else would say they feel the same but surprise surprise: noone does cause they make art cause they god damn like making art, hanna :)) if you read all of this im so sorry for wasting your time sjdksd please dont feel obliged to answer on this post i kinda just wanted to yell into the void. for some reason ranting like this makes it easier to pick up my tablet pen. maybe ill actually draw tonight. we’ll see.

[hcneymilkks]

NINE PERCENT Zhu Zhengting ‘A Dozen Letters’

In which the dreaded Valentine’s day arrives but instead of being left alone, Ying Yue has to track down her mystery guy.

PAIRING: Zhengting x Ying Yue (OC) 

SORT OF A SOCIAL MEDIA ONESHOT (texting and Instagram)

|YING YUE|

Snow crunched against my shoes, my breath exhaling out puffs of white smoke. It was so cold. Yet, my school didn't let us stay home. Stupid winter. Although it looks pretty, frost covering the tree branches bare of leaves, it didn't give me enough motivation to get out of my comfy warm bed.

But of course, my sister had to barge in and wake me up, yelling at me to drive her to school.

Sadly, both my parents took the two cars we had. Instead, I wrapped up my sister and walked her to school, her "boyfriend" meeting with her.

"Happy valentines day!" He yells. My sister giggles and hugs him. I roll my eyes and bid goodbye, not needing to stay here longer.

And now here I am, at the entrance of my school trying to take the excess snow off. Normally, I wouldn't care how the school looks, but today it made my stomach want to hurl. Bleh. Hearts here, red and pink there. This is the day I die.

I quickly text Ha Rin, crying inside.

Ying Yue

don't know where i am

theres too many hearts everywhere

i think i got sent to hell

send help

bitch where you and Eun Jung at

Ha Rin

Lmao

its only one day come on you can survive

we are at ur locker, come here

Ying Yue

im cryin

I walk quickly to my locker, trying to ignore all of the "Happy Valentines day" and couples sticking their tongues in each other's mouths.

I hate this day, I hate this.

Why?

Just bad memories.

Ying Yue

sksksk theres too many couples making out my poor eyes

Ha Rin

LOL hurry up then

I almost bump into a girl who then glared at me.

"Bitch." I mumbled

"Ying ying!" I turned around and saw Ha Rin and Eun Jung both holding....ugh.

"Awe are those stuffies for me? You shouldn't have." I playfully try to take it away but they both glare at me playfully.

"No, you know who this will be given to." Eun Jung says in a teasing tone while Ha Rin nods and laughs.

I shudder. "This is why I hate valentines day."

"Come on Ying Yue. it's only one day, it's not the end of the world." Eun Jung puts an arm around my shoulder. I shrug it off, going towards my locker to get my math book.

"But you both are leaving me for your boyfriends during my four-hour break. It is so the end of the world." I pout and try to open the lock with no avail.

"Ugh stupid lock."

Ha Rin and Eun Jung laugh. "Awe is little Ying Ying sad because she doesn't have a boy to cuddle?"

"Shut up. I don't need a man."

"That is true....but remember your other valentine's day attempts with your crushes. Both of them who I hate with my life but you do you boo." Eun Jung says.

I drop the lock and look at both of my friends. "We do not talk about that. I was too dumb in what I thought was love."

They both snickered. "Well no one told you to stick candies on their locker DUH!" They both say at the same time and I swear if murder wasn't illegal I would have buried their dead asses by now.

"Ohmygod what did I just say not to do!" I exclaim and open my locker a little bit too forcefully, I felt a stinging sensation on my cheek and involuntarily closed my eyes.

"What the fuck!?" I yelled, opening my eyes a moment later to see not one, but TWELVE LETTERS spill out of my locker.

The hallway was silent for a moment and I felt my cheeks burn. Oh, how I hated being the center of attention. Make it stop. The bell rang not a moment later and I clumsily picked up all of the letters, saying a quick goodbye before heading to the library for my first free period....hopefully alone.

|ZHENGTING|

"Okay calm down I'm just getting out of my car." I say into my phone, hearing coherent mumbles from the other side of the receiver. I grabbed my bag from the backseat and went into school.....of course, I locked my car.

"What was that Wenjun? I can't hear you." I say in a sing-song voice, always teasing him for his mumbles. Before I used to blame my hearing, I swear it keeps getting worse with me always blasting music to dance to. But after many times hearing him mumble, I realized it wasn't my hearing but it was just Wenjun's habit.

"-Hello? Zhengting are you still on?" I snap out of my trance and nod my head, mentally cursing because no one can hear a nod from a phone call.

"Yeah I'm still on. I'm inside the school now, where are you?"

"Going to my locker, meet me there before class starts?"

"Will do." I hang up and look around the school. Pink and red hearts everywhere. My student council can be so extra with these "holidays." I hum a little tune and turned the corner until I heard a voice that made my knees go weak.

Ying Yue.

Oh god, she's at her locker. Calm down Zhengting you just have to walk to Wenjun's locker that is beside her. You can do this. I take a deep breath and start to walk towards Wenjun, not until I tripped on my own shoe and almost fell. Curse my two left feet.

I didn't see Ying Yue look but I saw her friends did and I mentally cried. Great, I'm gonna get teased.

"Hey bro." Wenjun and I did a handshake and opened his locker. "So how was it falling for...you know." He points in the three girls direction and laughs.

I glare and tackle him down, not needing this first thing in the morning. "Can you just get your stuff and let's go? I don't need to be here any-" I heard yelling and looked at Ying Yue, locker open and letters on the ground. I blushed and looked away, recognizing that handwriting. The bell rang soon after and I felt a rush of cold wind pass by.

"Dude, just how many letters did you write to her?" Wenjun whispers and I tense up. I saw this post that this guy bought his girlfriend twelve roses and stated that if the last one died their love will die. Plot twist? The last rose was fake and that signified that their love will last forever.

"I may or may have written twelve letters." I said shyly.

"AND YOU STUCK IT IN HER LOCKER ALL AT THE SAME TIME!?!" Wenjun exclaims and I cover his mouth with my hand.

"Was that a bad idea?"

|YING YUE|

I sit down in the library and take deep breaths, never again I will run....psh just kidding I run away from everything.

I touch the area on my face where I felt a cut and I winced. I quickly put on a bandaid because I don't want to get an infection...duh. I then opened my math textbook, trying to finish yesterday's homework that I forgot at school. But I couldn't. I couldn't think of anything else but the letters. "Twelve letters? For me? It's not April fools day yet." I mumble, closing my math textbook and welcoming sleep for the remainder of the free period.

Well, no sleep came. My hands indistinctively went to my backpack and I found the twelve letters I dumped in there haphazardly. I picked a random one and looked to see who it was addressed to.

"My love? What the hell?"

I opened the letter and admired the handwriting. For some reason, I recognized it from somewhere. There's no way Zhengting wrote this. I thought. He doesn't see me other than a little sister.

Yes, Zhengting and I go way back. Meaning the cliche neighbours to this day. The cliche spending time at each other's houses cuddling and talking about everything. The cliche friendly "I love you's" and "I miss you's." I laughed softly at the vast memories. It was as if a switch turned on in my brain and I stopped spending a lot of time with Zhengting. Why?

I love him.

I tried to distract myself with other crushes, trying to make myself noticeable to them with yes, putting candies on their lockers for valentines day. Only one noticed but rejected me.

I later knew it was so stupid. I was blinded by artificial love and wanting to get rid of feelings for Zhengting.

I looked at the letter.

'Ying Yue,

You probably ran away when you saw all of the letters fall from your lockers, I know you hate the attention. So instead of giving you twelve roses because I'm literally so shy, I'm giving you twelve letters (which you could make it into paper roses but idk.)

Where do I start....the first time we met. Now I don't want to give too much away but we were pretty close in our childhood.

You've grown into a wonderful, beautiful human being I mean girl. When you first walked into the doors of this year I swear you got even prettier.

Since I only have twelve letters because I didn't want to bombard you with more, I will compliment you twelve times...maybe even more if you let me.

Number one, your laugh, your sincere one. I love hearing it. It was one of the reasons why I fell in love with you. Yes Yue, you read it right. I'm deeply and terribly in love with you and I can never get you off my mind.

Ps. I'm closer than you think *winks*'

I put down the letter and look around, trying to see if I can spot anyone. There were only girls here. Does this mean he's in my classes?

|ZHENGTING|

I smile when I see her look around. Thank god she can't see me from here. I go back doing my own work, hoping she will read the rest.

I know, so cliche. But it's really scary confessing to someone who has been in your life for so long.

immediately I hear a loud thud and I jump out of fright. God damn why is everything so scary? Taking out one earphone I look to where the sound came from and lo and behold, I make eye contact with a fallen Ying Yue.

Shit.

|YING YUE|

"Oh shit I'm gonna be late for my next class." I hurriedly pack my things, mutter a small apology for the person who wrote those letters, for they will be crushed yet again by the suffering and anxiety of what is called school books.

I stood up, but somehow the next moment the chair that I sat on fell along with me beside it. Damn me for being so clumsy.

Not only was the library more silent than before, but I also made eye contact with the last person I wanted to see. Not when I had my speculations.

Zhu Zhengting.

I quickly looked away, flustered and embarrassed. I ran once more. Let's hope from all this running I'm doing today is going to make me lose weight.

Why do you do this to me Zhu Zhengting?

***

My media studies class was pretty interesting to say the least, but for some reason, I have a project to do.....it's photography?

"Well happy valentine's day to all. I didn't expect to bring this project up so suddenly." My teacher explained.

"For the past month, we have been looking at social media and how it affects our daily lives. Normally, we only want people to see the bright, happy sides. Or either, we repost other people's photos without permission and claim it as our own. Now, what does this all have to do with the project? I will be asking each of you to either clear your own Instagram profiles and start fresh or create a new Instagram profile. This will be a week-long project. I not only want you to add your happy moments but your sad ones. I want to see not only cute pictures of the sky but also your homework. I want to see your daily life in pictures. So like a daily blog."

Everyone starts to groan but the teacher silences us. "Oh come on class. It's not like you all are already not glued to your phones twenty-four seven. It's worth thirty percent of your grade so I expect some effort. For extra marks you can write a journal on one specific photo and why it's special to you."

"I wish I dropped this class already." someone mumbles beside me but I completely ignore it, already knowing what to do.

50 likes

@ying.yang - aight @person who left me twelve letters in my locker. Who u and wat u want wit me?

5 comments

@e.jung - A SECRET ADMIRER!?! IS IT *********?

@ying.yang - @e.jung ShUt uP

@haharin - @e.jung oof it's totally him

@ying.yang - @haharin SHUT UP

|ZHENGTING|

Shit.

My eyes went wide during lunch.

"Wenjun did you see Ying Yue's post?" I show him my phone and he looks at the photo.

"Damn ting why don't you ever write me notes like that?" he pouts and I smack him on the arm.

"You don't deserve any...not when you cheated on me with Quanzhe!"

Wenjun laughs. "But no seriously you should tell her today that you like her. You have History class with her right?"

I nod.

"You still have them?"

I nod again.

"Good. I have a plan."

200 likes

@tingting - maybe today will be the day where I can finally give you flowers in person

20 comments

@yellowturnip.justin - eh?

@byewenjun - oh you are so confessing to her today...im tired of seeing you sulk about how youre too much of a chicken to do it

@tingting - @byebyewenjun sksksks sHUT UP

@fanchangechange - wait, Zhengting only knows one girl...does that mean????

@tingting - @fanchangechange I LIKE UR SISTER NOW SHUT UP

@quanzhieeee - @tingting @fanchangechange THATS A LIE  

|YING YUE|

I fiddle with my pen, hoping something exciting happens during the week or else I will be posting sky photos and my song playlist which is all over the place. I mean I guess I could write a reflection on my music, but what's the point?

I wait for History class to start, wanting more than to just go home.

Music in my ears, I sketch a human figure, pouting when one side is different than the other.

A tap on my shoulder.  That one tap made me lose my focus and snap back into the dreaded reality. I now know what photo I should post next.

I take out my headphones and turn around, looking at the familiar boy. Again? The second time I have seen him today.

"Is anyone sitting here?" he asks and I shake my head no immediately. He places his backpack on his desk and sits down, closing his eyes.

I look at him for a moment and then shake my head, trying to go back to my sketch.

"Why are you shaking your head?" I hear the person beside me say. He opens one eye and looks at me from the side.

"Nothing. It's stupid."

"Okay then. I wanted to ask you a question. "

I turn my body and look at him. "Shoot."

He opens his other eye. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"W-what?"

"The picture you posted on Instagram, who's the lucky guy?"

Shoot.

"Oh that? I have uh no idea." I'm sorta wishing, hoping it is you.

Zhengting nods and the teacher walks in, signalling the start of History class.

***

My eyes feel heavy, and the teacher's monotone voice does not help one bit. I peek a little to my right and see Zhengting taking notes like a good student. Meanwhile, my notes are filled with sketches.

70 likes

@ying.yang - oops

10 comments

@haharin - wtf listen in class

@ying.yang - @haharin i cant im gonna fall asleep soon

@e.jung - tsk tsk

@ying.yang - @e.jung @haharin WILL BOTH OF YOU LET ME LIVE!?!

I didn't even know the bell rang until I looked around and saw people packing their bags, getting ready to go home. I quickly stuffed my phone in my pocket, standing up to pack my bag until I saw a piece of paper hurriedly folded on my desk.

'Ying Yue,

Meet me at the field if you wanna know who I am'

My heart started pounding for no reason. What if this was a prank? What if this note was left for someone else? Well actually it did say my name but the chills ran down my spine. I shook my head and went along with it, stopping by my locker to bring my Physics textbook with me to hit the person if needed.

***

The closer I get to the field, the farther away I am from the crowds of people.  I stop at what looks like the middle, plot my stuff on the ground and wait.

"Wenjun I told you that you shouldn't have gone to the washroom right now, look, Ying Yue, is already here."

"Ting calm down, just go up to her and say I love you or whatever."

My ears perk up at the familiar voice, but the other voice speaking says something that makes me freeze.

Wait, does that mean?

"Ying Yue."

I turn around and look at Zhengting.

"It's you?" I say, cringing at how I sounded so blunt.

He rubs the nape of his neck and laughs awkwardly. "Suprise?"

I giggle and smile. "I'm glad it's you."

250 likes

@tingting - smile brighter than the sun. My love

30 comments

@yellowturnip.justin - oH!?! IT WAS YING YUE THIS WHOLE TIME!?!

@fanchangechange - cute

@quanzhieeee - I ship

@byewenjun - freaking finally. thought you were going to die alone

@tingting - @byewenjun TAKE THAT BACK

@ying.yang - sksks LMAO @byewenjun

100 likes

@ying.yang - i guess something good did happen after all. im glad its you

30 comments

@tingting - ily

@ying.yang - ily2 loser

@e.jung - @haharin have we been replaced?

@haharin - @e.jung I think so :(

@ying.yang - @e.jung @haharin shut up you guys. you were the ones who left me in the first place!

MASTERLIST

[piratequeenofpixies]

kinda weird question i know but i saw one of your posts where you said that your oc eric is basically the epitome of your dream of having a big brother or something. not to be rude or anything but why do you want an older brother lol im not trying to be rude im just curious

Oh, haha. No problem! For years I’ve wanted an older brother for a variety of reasons, listed below:

1. As silly as this may seem, I don’t always enjoy being the eldest child in my family ;)

2. Okay, look, I’m just as shallow as most teenage girls: I enjoy knowing a guy(s) has a crush on me...most of the time. But if a guy is being weird, or creepy, or just makes me uncomfortable for whatever reason--do you have any idea of the possibilities opened up by the availability of a big brother (figure)? I’m talking heckling, phone calls, Nerf guns, lay-a-hand-on-my-sister-and-you’re-dead jokes that you’re not really certain are jokes, you name it. (Note: I’m not mean, I promise. But some guys just won’t take a hint--or even a full-on rebuffal. I wouldn’t resort to such measures if I wasn’t severely uncomfortable or feeling unsafe around a guy.) Little brothers come in handy, but they just don’t have the same force behind them, unfortunately. And yes, I know I am fully capable of defending myself: I have studied Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I know how to use a gun, a knife, and my keys. I know seven different ways to knock someone unconscious if necessary. But, so long as it does not subject him to any danger, I’d far rather use a brother for that--I’m very shy (I seriously can hardly confront anyone) and passive-aggressive that way.

3. Maybe it’s just my friend group, but the guys I hang out with would never tell my secrets. They may tease me about a crush, or about something I said, but they would never intentionally embarrass me about anything. It’s just a fact. But they’re not always available to hang out/talk, and an older brother would come in handy in that kind of situation.

So, is my longing for an older brother entirely selfish? Yes, I grant you that. Is it somewhat shallow? Yeah, probably. Maybe that’s why God didn’t see fit to give me an older brother XD

TL; DR: I want an older brother to defend and talk to me. That’s why I gave Emily her cousin Eric and Embyr her brother Garan--because I have a strong need for close, non-romantic guy friends in my life, and I think my characters need it too.

Sorry, that was much longer than I anticipated it would be. I hope that answers your question!

Thanks for the question!

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

1-35 on fanfic asks

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

2 stars maybe? Im not great and i forget a lot of things. but no one can stop me from writing and i enjoy it. the more i do it the more i may like my own writing one day

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Fanfiction is everything to me. It was a matter of time until i started writing it seriously for myself.

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Literally nothing. I tend to go off with ships and specific things i want represented... but thats it. anyone can write.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Always! so many! the best thing about fanfiction is how it builds upon itself and spreads!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Im very proud of Secret Baby/ River run. Its large and a mess and i hate it. But im proud ive done it. A completed one im proud of is "Compress said its his turn on the murder screen" i think i did well with that one and kept the tone I wanted.

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

Arguments between characters and having them express themselves other ways.

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

It's the making up and posting works i struggle with. Along with editing which is another monster.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

I do love the murder boys! Dabi, Itachi, Deidara, Naruto (should have killed everyone), Reno. If theyve got issues i love them!

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

happy characters. I just don't know what to do with them. Like a domestic setting with no action? nope not for me!

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

Hurt/comfort has always been my jam!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

im not entirely sure? I havent been really writing/posting that long.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

Expectations! its a collaboration i'm working on with a friend and a DabiHawks fanfiction again! It's a fic where they fall in bed together before they even like each other. A lot of assumptions are made and not a lot of talking gets done until quite a bit of Damage has been done. Hawks finds out that Dabi's been doing some things he wasnt comfy with just because he didnt know how to tell Hawks and because he was attached to him. It's messy and won't get less so.

interesting to write to say the least because im such a Zero tolerance person.

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Naruto lol

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

part of my heart will always belong to naruto. can't leave it. But im enjoying writing for bnha immensely!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

Food Fantasy! a video game i did a short one shot on last october!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Soulmate au's! Omegaverse! I love tropes! Oh! Hanahaki!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

none.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I wouldn't say ive done anything too wild?

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

get canon away from me! i love au's! any and all!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

both!

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

currently its DabiHawks! i love my enemies to lovers! (everyone deserves compassion lave and basic decency)

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! some fics have specific playlists!

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

All of the above! i dont know how to put wips back lol!

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

I like one shots better but the amount of effort for multichapter fics is something else tbh!

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Yes a few times brought on by comments! What if Hawks ran in to Dabi early on or if Dabi had stayed and talked to Hawks the last night they spent together. None of it ever really goes well? Dabi has no support besides his Significant Other in both of these and i dont like that.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Nope! Ive been getting the hang of NSFW and i feel like that's one of my biggest areas to improve on!

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

any! seriously i love comments! telling me to write more or that i forgot something was done 6 chapters ago or a string of emoji's!

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

Much better than I used to!

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Every time i post lol. Im pretty comfortable with a variety of things! there's been times in this roleplay i participate in that i was very uncomfortable with how my character was acting but that was the entire point and it turned out well considering the outrage he kept causing!

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Best of both! ive also taken a shine to writing things that out of story context are fluff but in context are horrendous angst!

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

Nope! I don't really do Oc's!

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

Secret Baby/ River Run- Dabi gets pregnant and runs away. Hawks is the father.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I've had such a kind fantastic audience but i wish they would pay some more attention sometimes to why i have characters do things the way they do. Hawks leaves Dabi alone? theres a reason for that and the awnser is not to stalk him. even for Dabi's saftey.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

Dabi dosen't meet Rumi like expected. He expected to just get taken out by her in a fight one day, if they met at all. Not him cleaning his torn staples in Hawks bathroom after he's been shoved in there, Rumi having interrupted a blowjob and Hawks had roughly shoved him in his bathroom. He couldn't hear much of the conversation going on outside. But what he could made his face burn with embarrassment as he tried to put himself together. The fact that she was also a Hero and Hawks best friend made him nervous. What a great first impression, sucking her best friends dick with a bloody face. -" NOT DATING-" Hawks voice broke through for a moment and then quieted. -"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF HE'S A VILLAIN KEIGO, HE WAS JUST GIVING YOU A BLOWJOB THERE IS NO ." There was a loud thump as Rumi was yelling and Dabi let himself flinch here in private. She quieted down soon after she had started yelling. Dabi sat down against the sinks cupboard and rested his head on his knees. Waiting for it to stop and Hawks to kick him out. He wouldn't actually get to meet Rumi as Keigo's, well as Keigo's anything. It was just sex between them on Hawks end anyways. There's stomping towards the door and Dabi scrambles up as he resists the urge to lock the door. To lock himself inside like a child thinking it will save him from Enjis rath. Hawks is.... he's not kind to Dabi, but he's not Enji either. The door opens and Rumi's gaze finds him as he's getting up. He ducks his head and gives a little half hearted wave, not sure what she's doing. Why she's looking at him with a gaze much softer than expected. "Hey. Sorry I walked in on you guys. I'm Rumi. Hawks best friend he's been hiding away from you." "I uh. Um. Dabi? I go by Dabi. I think it's more like I'm just his dirty little secret." He gives a small dry chuckle and a smirk, a tad on the mean side like he did with Keigo. It came out a little to real and he winced. He sounded like a whiny asshole, he thought as he kept his gaze on his bare toes digging into the tile. "Dabi, I doubt Keigo thinks of you like that." Rumi reaches her hand out and Dabi tenses in anticipation of her grabbing him. To harm him maybe? To throw him in cuffs? Out of Keigo's apartment but he has no doubt that he will be there soon enough after Rumi leaves. "Its fine. I'm just a villain he can sleep with ya know?" Rumi gets a determined look in her eye as she draws her hand back, having noticed him tense up. "I'm going to give you my number Dabi. Villains don't any resources and I don't like how Hawks treated you when I walked in. If anything happens, I want you to have a way out. I don't think you've told your friends who your sleeping with. Or you would have teleported out of here." Dabi hands his phone over still in shock to Rumi and she gently takes it. She's still super confident in person but, there's no violence or anger from her. Its... suprising.

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

Dabi and Hawks can both have issues and have to put in some serious effort to not only see those issues, but work together with them. this has been a PSA.

[uniformbravo]

some stuff what happened this week

burned my mouth pretty bad on a little hostess cherry pie the other day ummm.. betrayed

speakin of hostess some ding dong commented on one of my left-handed drawing videos asking if i could “draw strate” kfkjdlsgkds

speakin of youtube i meant to get a video up today to finally break my over-a-month-long accidental hiatus but my arms dont work & i didnt finish the art on time (haha rip) but i am working on stuff! i got a little two-page spread im working on in my moleskine & im rly happy with it so far!! i just need to color it basically.... the video’ll probably be a voiceover bc i love embarrassing myself lol

this piano cover of the attack on titan s2 op has been literally constantly stuck in my head for the past few days, i’ve listened to it maybe like. 4 or 5 times tops. how can it be so solidly in there then. i’ll be sitting there focusing on something completely unrelated and then slowly realize that it’s been playing in the back of my head the whole time i. i really love this pianist you guys,

last night i was up until 2am reading my old stories i wrote in middle + high school but like... i wasn’t just reading them to myself i was reading them... out loud??? like i was alone in my room so no one was subjected to that second-hand embarrassment but yeah it was... weirdly fun (which is probs why it went on for 3 hrs Oops) u guys should try it sometime 

reading those stories tho made me realize that i used to write a Lot of self-indulgent shit and it was really fun??? it inspired me so im writing another rly self-indulgent scene from my ocs’ old story..... i hate writing...... im doing this so future me can reread it and go “...Nice” like i was doing last night reading those old stories kfgdkfl

i am.......... honestly being consumed by webcomics i read them all afternoon yesterday & then today too like!! midterms are this week!! i have a midterm in art history tomorrow!!! i havent studied at all!!! @ me wyd!!!!!!!!!! anyway i found some rly good ones today who wants recs: george and johnny is rly cute & also happens to have angsty character mmm my fave always raining here is great i just binge read the whole thing (it’s complete!!) & it has great characters & also some good angst too heyeyeehaeha (im on the hunt for angst ok................... if it’s not ur thing dw it’s maybe like. 35% angst. ok 40% ok 5) just watch out for a couple warnings (they’re mentioned in the site’s right margin) & also some kind of stereotypical gay jokes in the beginning (theres 1 slur too) but it gets better i promise. also that art improvement aaaaaaaaaay i rly wanna make like a big webcomic rec post w/ all my faves on it at some point bc they all deserve so much love but for now those are just the two i read today (yesterday i reread tj and amal which is always a good one there u go third bonus rec)

anyway FUCk i didnt mean to stay up until 1am boy it’s a good thing my early class is cancelled im gonna have to use the time to study for that midterm tomorrow Am I Right Boys hahaaahah hahah a a

bye,