#im already getting anxious not checking now

[squirmydonnie]

CW: religion

I'm trying to figure out what the next step is.

This is the 2nd time that something like this has happened( in 2 1/2 weeks )

And maybe the 50th I've felt like this. So what's the plan here?

I feel like my best option is to just halt completely. Come to a complete stop. Never do it again.

Unfortunately it isn't that simple.

So should I try and stop completely anyway?

This is normacly to me. Despite how bad it feels I can't really imagine what it would be like.

I could try! But it doesn't seem possible. Or at the very least realistic.

I've been trying to help people for a long time.

Some may say that means it's a calling. But I don't know if a calling should hurt so bad.

How can I know for sure this is what I truly want? After all, I was a Christian once.

What a weird time in my life. And to think it didn't end to long ago. Only about 2 or 3 years.

Yet it feels like it's been so long.

I never disliked helping others when I was young. And then, to know it was something I was supposed to do in the bible made me happier.

I was happy to do it. I didn't bother me. Because I knew it would be soon.

I started making deals with God. Telling him that I would just get it all out my system now and then I would return. But I never did.

I'm not sure what my next step is but its probably stopping the excessive checking.

I'm not sure how I'm going to do it.

I'll just have to be nice to myself when it happens.

[ganondoodle]

... not some one-note ramble post of mine getting a sudden surge of attention ...

[itachikun]

getting this business case done since tuesday and im being so brave about it

[im-still-watching-anime]

gotta be honest it’s 8am and i haven’t slept and maybe i’m overreacting but i am so tired of having to get upset over this blog because i really do adore this blog

like i understand my posts are all silly and ooc and just for funsies without any deep meaning but it still feels really fucking bad when people steal them almost word for word without any sort of credit. like the LEAST you could do is repurpose them for a different show or set of characters! i usually can handle that even when it’s not sourced but literally just presenting my posts almost exactly as i posted them with the same fandom and characters just really makes me feel like shit. i understand it’s the internet and it happens and i don’t want to start any drama or directly call anyone out but seriously this blog is legitimately one of the very few things in my life that i don’t have to worry about making me unhappy

—but now it just is making me unhappy because, as much as it pains me to admit (sarcasm), i DO put a lot of thought and effort into my posts. there’s a reason i don’t post very often - half because honestly i’m busy and don’t get to be online 24/7 and ALSO because even though my posts are short i still take time to come up with them, format them, and adjust the wording which somehow makes it feel EXTRA shitty when you copy my post and then “fix” the wording to be better. like i KNOW a lot of my posts are silly and don’t get that many notes but i’m not putting effort in for clout or whatever i’m doing it because i genuinely enjoy it and love doing it so watching other people literally post my stuff for the exact opposite purpose feels really gross and just makes me want to go back and delete everything.

idk i might just be tired and overreacting this just isn’t even the first time i��ve seen this happen and this one was especially blatant about it being their ~original idea~ that it just kind of hurt WAY more than it should and i just feel awful now im sorry if you had to read all this i am just Tired.

[marsixm]

had someone threaten to call the cops on me for something i didnt do and proved i didnt do. gotta love retail

[astrxealis]

sometimes (often) i think about the characters i kin or relate to and then the realization comes in again and again that i need therapy (/lh?)

[florida3exclamationpoints]

My mom just came in my room right after I got home to be like how did it go???? What happened???? When are you going back?? How do you feel??? Are you ok???? What are your hours???? What did they say??? And I know she means well but

[exopelagic]

sooooososososo tored

[cheriladycl01]

Fan Zone Fanatic - Lando Norris x Anxiety! Reader

Plot: You love taking the F1 bracelets off of fans because you will play with them whenever you get anxious and they are a source of comfort for you now.

(I literally do this with my bracelets lmao)

One thing you absolutely adored was fan interaction. As much as you got really anxious in large crowds with overstimulating sounds and smells, you loved helping give gifts to Lando and guide him to younger fans with caps pushed to the back and hold his own hand for comfort when he too got overwhelmed from the amount of people yelling his name.

Right now you were at the gates to the paddock and you were walking through hand in hand with Lando. When you saw a load of fans at the entrance.

“Lando! Lando”

“Come sign my helmet please”

“Lando I have something for you”

“Y/N”

Loads of voices came at one, you smile at Lando and nod your head over to the fans starting to drag him over to the fencing.

“Omg Y/N” one cries handing you a pretty generic McLaren hat, you take it to pass to Lando until she shakes her head.

“I want you to sign it! I’ve already got Landos” she smiles and you laugh, loving that people wanted your signature too.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin it!” You smile kindly at her and she nods again. You sign it and then she pulls a clip of the friendship bracelets out.

“Please take one” she smiles and beofre you know it, you have loads of girls gifting you friendship bracelets off their bags.

Before you know it, you have all sorts of bracelets covering your arms.

There was mainly Lando and McLaren ones, but a few Chili or Enjoy the butterfly’s ones snuck their way onto your wrist that when you were showing Lando all of them once you got into the paddock he was laughing so hard.

“I think my fans love you more than they love me if I’m being honest, they’re always so sweet and respectful to you” he smiles as he shifts through the bracelets before he finds one with your name on it that he takes off your own wrists and places it on his own. “This one im keeping” he comments.

“I think I might head to the fanzone today, deck myself out in McLaren merch and just see what happens” you grin and he looks at you with a furrowed brow.

“Are you sure baby? I don’t think that’s a great idea, you’ve never experienced the fans without a barrier or anything …” he offers and you nod your head knowing what your getting yourself into.

“I know but I want to interact and I’m kind of obsessed with these bracelets now and I kind of want more of them!” You nod having made up your mind fully with a small smile matching it.

“Okay baby, but just keep one of the security with you. Just so they can help you out if needed. You don’t have to walk with them but just keep them close yeah? Take Dave, you like Dave right?” Lando says immediately concerned about you.

“I’ll take Dave just for you’re own piece of mind” you tease lightly nudging him before you take his team hat and grab one of his spare team tops.

“How do i look” you say with a twirl before ending with a hand in your hip.

“Beautiful” Lando mutters with heart eyes as he looks over at you.

Lando if he was being honest, never had it so good. You were literally perfect in his eyes. You treated him so well, and there wasn’t a singular moment he didn’t feel lucky to experience the weird and wonderful phenomena we call life.

“Stop it, you’re making me blush” you comment and he just laughs before kissing your cheek and sending you off.

“Don’t be gone too long okay! And check in with me! Please?” He asks.

“Ooooo wait can I buy some hats and get you to sign them please?!? I can hand them out in exchange for bracelets” you grin and before you know it you’ve got Lando signing as many hats as you could possibly fit in one bag.

He ended up signing 60 hats in the span of 20 minutes which is pretty impressive, considering he has to break to make out with you for 5 of those. Lando was an exceptionally clingy boyfriend.

Eventually you leave waving goodbye to him and smiling.

You walk out of the paddock entrance and around to the main gate. Where you’ve got the sunglasses and baseball cap on, it’s kind of hard to notice who you actually are so you were pretty confident that you could walk through pretty happily.

You noticed Dave, not too close and not too far. You walked into the fan zone seeing all the stools and shops with merch from different teams and the smell of the greasy hot dogs and chips.

You were just walking looking through one of the McLaren stands and about to pick up a Lando Norris t-shirt when a small tap was felt on your thigh. You turn round seeing a little girl, maybe 6 or 7.

“Hiya” you smile and the mum asks if you want to trade bracelets. You nod happily and show her your arms of the ones you had and she sees the LN4 one with his helmet design.

“Oh that’s a good one, Landos helmet” you grin and smile at her kindly taking it off your own wrist and putting it around hers.

“Woah you have so many” you laugh lightly seeing up to her elbows covered in them.

“Take two if you would like” the mum smiles and you nod.

“Why don’t you choose one for me, and then I’ll choose another one?” You ask the young girl and she nods excitedly looking over her arms before picking out a Max one.

“Max huh” you grin taking the MaxV33 off her and pulling it around your own wrist.

“I think I’ll take this one too, my goal today is to get one of every driver” you smile and she grins seeing you take the Zhou Guanyu one.

“I also have something I want to give you from Lando” you grin and she looks excited.

You pull out the signed hat and she squeals, looking over the signature.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” She grins and pulls you into a hug. You laugh back and go to offer the mum one, but she politely shakes her head.

“Keep them for the youngsters” she smiles and you nod. The little girl finally lets go and hands the old hat back to her mum before putting the new signed on.

“Awww look at that! You look so cool!” You exclaim and the girl giggles more.

You say goodbye and get back to shopping. You end up buying an overpriced Lando top despite you wearing official staff uniform as of right now and thank the very shocked worker who asks for you picture once you’ve payed. You offer her a hat but refuses as she got one earlier before her shift from the paddock entrance.

You head into the heart of the fanzone where the sims are and all the other interactive stuff they put on for the fans. You can hear music from the massive stage, which is slowly starting to fill up.

20 minutes until Ferrari on stage.

1 hour till McLaren on stage. You knew you were going to go there for the McLaren one.

“Y/N?” You hear from you far left and see 3 girls with two guys behind them.

You smile happily jog over to them.

“Hey!” You grin and one of the girls squeals.

“Do you want some of our bracelets we brought way to many!” The girls admit showing you their bags full of the beaded bracelets.

“How long did this take you guys! These are incredible” you smile looking at all the different colours and types and the fact some had crystals on them. And all the funny messages rather than drivers names.

“Oh it’s nothing, just something we like to do in our free time!” One of the girls nods.

“They’re lying it took them days to prepare these for the race” one of the guys admits and you nod knowing that was far more accurate.

“How many can I take?” You ask looking at them, it was strange because even though these girls looked in their teens and younger than you they were all a lot taller than you. Making you feel kind of strange looking upwards at almost all of them.

“As many as you want” you start to look through. You burst out laughing at one that says Muppet 1 and Muppet 2 in one of the girls bags.

“Can i take both and give one to Lando so we’re matching” and she nods enthusiastically at the thought of Lando himself having one of her bracelets.

“Omg yes! Please please! Do you erm speak to any of the other drivers?” She asks and you nod, you were close with loads of the drivers. Especially their girlfriend as you were a social floater, sometimes you went out shopping with Alexandra, Charles girlfriend. Or going for brunch with Carmen, golfing with Lily or out to dinner with Oscar and his Lily.

“I do, why do you want me to give something?” You ask politely and she nods handing you a T-shirt. You open it up to see a funny print of George Russell T-Posing.

“I’ll make sure when I get back to the paddock to give this to George” you smile and she thanks you profusely.

You got to the next girls bag and find a Yuki Tsunoda One, and a Lando one that was of his Miami win. It had a little palm tree dangly on it and you knew you just had to take it.

And in the last one you picked out a Charles Leclerc and Ferrari one.

“This may seem rude but I don’t want to trade to many bracelets off, I want to keep as many as possible but I have other gifts” you smile and pull 5 signed caps out the bag handing one to each of them.

“They’re signed by Lando” you smile and they all looked shocked and one almost starts to tear up.

“Can I hug you?” One of them asks before you nod and pull her into a hug. You get a group photo before they run off all having really happy faces.

This is why you were so happy to do this, just seeing that smile on random peoples faces knowing you’d made them feel like that was so rewarding.

You walk to the sim racers and see loads of people on them, trying to get in good laps. You were utterly hopeless on Landos at home so there was no way you were trying it here and making a fool out of yourself.

“Girlie! You want a bracelet!” A voice from behind you says and you turn to look.

A girl comes running up to you, showing the clip of beads in front of you.

The afternoon continued like that. You took bracelets and gave people hats in exchange for them. You were thankful nobody had posted the pictures you’d taken with them yet, so it still didn’t feel like you were having people actively come try and find you.

You make your way to the stage seeing it’s pretty empty now that Ferrari have gone and you stand right by the fence where Lando will be able to see you. There’s two guys in McLaren hats next to you, one in a Lando one and one in a Danny Ric one.

“Damn that’s some fossil merch” you joke and they turn to look at you seeing you’re get up. They laugh and nod explaining how they live McLaren but Danny is their driver.

“Who do you support?” One of them asks before his mate bursts out laughing.

“Dude that Lando’s girlfriend” the other one with the DR3 McLaren hat laughs. And you laugh with him before the guys fully takes a look over you and flushes Red.

“I’m so so sorry” he says.

“It’s fine, but of course my driver is Yuki Tsunoda” you tease and they both laugh. You have a nice conversation with them, you’d get Lando to sign their hats when he was on stage.

The guys were really nice, just asking you questions about the paddock on racing and how long you’d followed the sport and it was nice just talking.

However the more people started to fill up the more you got anxious. Unconsciously your hand started to fiddle with the bracelets, lightly snapping them against your skin or pushing the beads from one place to another. The feeling giving you a certain kind of comfort to stimulate you enough that it was a distraction from all the noise around you.

All of a sudden the music gets louder beofre Naomi Schiff comes out to introduce the drivers to the now packed in crowd.

“Hello, how are we all feeling out there? Little warm today isn’t it. We’ll all of you keep hydrated nearest water station is up to your right” she indicates.

“Now without further or do, let’s find your drivers. Here for McLaren, Oscar Piastri and LANDO NORRIS” she calls and both the papaya boys come jogging out onto the stage.

“Hello Lando, Hello Oscar, how are you guys today?” She asks and both of them nod.

“Yeah really good, it’s pretty warm but we’re excited to be here” Lando says and Oscar nods in agreement.

“Yes, I think I’ve drunk 3 big bottles of water and two cans of monster” Oscar jokes and everyone in the crowd laughs.

“Enjoy the summer break?” She asks and they both nod.

“Yeah I got to spend lots of time with my girlfriend in England, and we …” Oscar starts but is interrupted by Lando.

“Oooo girlfriend, your girlfriend” Lando teases making Oscar go bright red in embarrassment.

“Says you, you wouldn’t shut up about Y/N” Oscar pushes back making Lando just laugh. The boys beside you starts whopping and cheering your name trying to point you out and draw attention to the fact your here.

People start to catch on and help to point you out, making you duck your head down in embarrassment as you laugh.

“Oh look Lando we’ve got some fans calling your name over here, oh wait. Is that … Lando is that Y/N” she says holding her que cards above her head to stop the glare of the sun to her eyes so she can get s better look at you.

You smile and wave being very familiar with the woman.

“Oh you’re right, give it up for Landos girlfriend everyone” Naomi cheers and you blush.

“Hi baby” Lando smiles shyly waving at you making you wave back.

“Wait did you chance tops?” He laughs seeing you now in the Lando Norris official team t-shirt. You nod and he just laughs shaking his head.

Before you know it he’s jumped down and is coming over to you. He pulls you into a hug, before signing some stuff around you and going back up to where Oscar is.

“Well, what did you do over the summer. You and Y/N were very present online” she adds knowing you always loved to post online what you and Lando did as it served as memories to share with a wider community.

Also a lot of what you posted have the fans a fix of their delulu needs which you were always happy to do.

“We want to Boa Vista and then we saw Martin Garrix a good friend play in Ibiza, we saw some of the other drivers there too. Went to a Taylor Swift concert, went to Bali and now we’re back here and racing” he grins and you smile at the thought of the summer holidays with Lando.

“Awww well sounds like you had a lovely time and you’re nice and relaxed ready to get racing again. How does it feel knowing how close you are to a championship with Max?” She asks and he nods.

“Looking for a good result this weekend but with my lucky charm here I’m hoping for a win” he nods and after some more questions posed to Oscar and Lando people start to leave the minute they are off the stage.

You keep a hold on one of the bracelets going behind the stage to where Lando is waiting for you. Dave helps you get past the majority of the crowd who some ask for pictures with you and more bracelets are given to you.

You round the corner into the VIP second and a Lando immediately comes up to you wrapping you in a hug.

“That was nice seeing you it there, but I was terrified the whole time with how cramped in you all looked” he admits as he kisses your temple.

“Look how many bracelets I got! Oooo look I have one for you too, a matching one with me” you grin and hand him the muppet number 1 and show him your muppet number 2.

“These are brilliant. I’m happy you enjoyed yourself.” He smiles and walks you over to the car to take you to the paddock.

Going forward you actually wore those bracelets given to you all the time. You and Lando wore the muppet ones everyday but you would change up which ones you’d wear on your other wrist each day but you always made sure you had one especially when you knew it was going to be an anxiety filled day.

The fans would never know how much these bracelets meant to you but you were so thankful.

Taglist:

@littlebitchsposts @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[euaphora]

“YOU KNOW IM A SEXOHOLIC, IM SO ANXIOUS!”| part1

colleague!kento who saw you the following monday with a weary look plastered on your face while you looked down at the paperwork being overdue, you boss loved giving you a hard time after you rejected him— kento knew this so he could only do so much to give you a better job experience.

colleague!kento who came up to your working cubical, he saw you added another small pin to your collection hung up on clipboard along with a new set of pens you bought. He watches you stress about all the paperwork scattered around the table and listens to your pleading sighs.

colleague!kento who calls you from behind —barely resizing he was standing behind you this entire time, “did you need something?” you asked in a sweet tone, he shakes his head at you at gives you a warm smile, “no I just saw how much work you had due and was wondering if you needed any help?”

colleague!kento who brings his chair from his cubicle to yours so he can fill in the boxes you had missed when you were just trying to finish up and leave to go home to your cat, he saw you wanting to pack up and leave the moment he saw you.

colleague!kento who asked, “since it’s the only the two of us left, would you want to put some music?” he asked while making marks on the paper. “i didn’t even realizing everyone else had gone home..god what time is it?” you sighed, leaning back against the head of your chair.

“12:34” he answered, checking his watch, “He needs to lay off you, nobody here gets this much paper work in a day.” Kento pointed out, looking at your relaxed body suddenly tense up at the thought of your boss.

“Exactly he’s only doing this because…anyways, see this is why your my favorite coworker, Nanami.” You giggle— opening your eyes to look in his direction only to already be meeting his gaze looking down at your body. He quickly fixated his gaze back to the paperwork and clear his throat, “Nanami, we’re you just starting at my chest?” You question him, watching his body language.

“O-of course not, then that would be unprofessional of me..” he quickly explained, nervously laughing it off. You hesitate at first but push yourself of your chair and go up to him, your legs in between his. He looks up at you and grabs the hem of his tie, “is it getting hot in here?”

“Don’t try and change the subject, you want me..don’t you?” You lean down to meet his gaze, getting real up and personal with him. He accepts his fate and admits his feelings, “You have no idea.” He stated, pulling you in by your hips only for you to be straddling his legs, you feel the pump of his muscle in between your folds.

“Wanna ride my leg, bunny?” He asked, teasingly tilting his head to the side while brushing off the stands of hair blocking his view to look at you. You suddenly feel like the shy one now, nodding.

You go onto right leg and slowly pick up your pencil skirt while rocking your hips back and forth, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time while he unbuttoned your dress shirt. “They sit so perfectly..” he said, holding them in his cold, slender hands— felling how warm and plump they are. He easily unclipped the back of your bra, only to wrap his mouth around one— younger lapping over the nipple while the other gets pitched and pulled by his fingers.

“Careful, princess. Don’t be trying to push me away now.” He demands, pulling your hair into a make shift monytail, giving you a soft slap in your cheek.

You push your head back at the euphoric feeling, letting out several pornagraphic moans slip out your mouth, heavy pants joining after. He feels you stutter your hips, knowing your almost close. “Cmon baby, just a few more thrusts…you got it.”

Feeling a knot in your stomach, you hold him by the torso— letting out huffs while rolling your eyes to the back of your head when he slaps your ass and rubs the soft flesh after.

“Cumming! I-im fucking cumming..”

Nanami suddenly feels a wet spot form on his leg, making him give you a quick kiss on the lips so you could still have some air to breath after your earth-shattering orgasm.

“Bend over.”

You pick your head up from his broad shoulders and look up at him, “does he want what I think he does?” You thought while getting up from his lap to lay down on your desk, watching him pull his pants down from behind you. “Let me know if it’s too much…alright, princess?” He reassured, giving you a quick heads up like if he was over nine inche-

He pushed the head of his cock inside you— feeling your velvet walls squeeze him “greedy little pussy,huh?” He shuddered, making you get cut off by your own thoughts. “S-shit.” was all you could slip out before he slipped himself fully inside you, giving you time to adjust to the size, knowing you couldn’t handle it.

He starts pumping his cock while completely ignoring your pleads, “S-slow down…your so deep inside me, Nanami!” You let out a loud moan, feeling hot tears slip out of your now watery eyes.

“It’s only half of me, bunny.”

You felt your head spinning with from what he just said, he felt your walls clenching again, feeling himself reach closer to the edge when the knot on his stomach tightened.

“kentopleaseimgonnacum!” You scream out, thankfully nobody was here so you could let out a loud cry. He slides his veiny fingers inside you mouth, hearing you gag in his fingers, “come on my cock, sweet girl mmm go right ahead you deserve it f-for being good all week..my good girl.”

He leaks his seed inside you while you cum on his cock the same time, feeling your pussy tighten all over again— making it hard for him to pull out. “Oh, you sweet thing, can’t get over this pretty greedy pussy.”

The next morning when your boss came to work, he checked the cameras to see you both in your cubicle, his cum leaking out your pussy while he cleaned you up, giving you a kiss on your forehead.

[luvvixu]

the end

synopsis: the end of your relationship was inevitable. that's why both of you and gojo satoru individually prepare yourselves against the pain and separation of an upcoming divorce. and when that thing came, you suddenly found yourselves trapped inside the circle of your marriage where denial is present, and acceptance is absent. let us all see how the marriage walk through the end.

tags: divorce!au, ex-husband!gojo, angst, hurt/no comfort, mentioned of death, mentioned of trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: here's an almost 8k words of oneshot about gojo marriage again. i've mentioned this before but im taking a very small break and will be back on june 5 with an update regarding to the chapter of mind over matter ff. be sure to check out the announcement!

it was a peaceful morning on your balcony with satoru gojo, your husband for almost two years. you are reading your newly purchased book with your glasses on to help you see the letters.

you take a second peek at your husband who was already gazing at you from the beginning. his gaze was painted with a mixture of sadness and adoration towards you. looks like he had something to say, and you're right, he did have something to say when he mumbles your name.

oh god, you knew where this conversation would be. keeping your eyes bore on him, you fully turned your attention to him and waited for him to speak what's on his heart and mind.

"i think we should file a divorce."

his voice was monotonous and yet you knew it really wasn't, his face also did the same since you also didn't hold one either. your expression still remained calm like he was not asking for a divorce as you closed your book and then put it back on the coffee table.

meanwhile, satoru couldn't read you at this moment because you were quiet, too quiet for his liking. were you so shocked that you couldn't react to his sudden cut of ties? or was it just you already expected this the moment when you woke up?

probably, the most accurate reason and answer was the second one. satoru watches you lean on the seat with your hands clasp on your lap. he also never fails to see the neutral glaze in your eyes.

"if you are wondering why i didn't hold any emotion as you speak, that's because i already reacted a year ago." a sigh escalated from your lips as you removed your glasses also and put it on the table.

"you expected that this day would come?" he said in silence while secretly fiddling with the calluses on his hand—a hidden and canonical habit of satoru whenever he feels anxious and worried.

before this day would come, the two of you got married when both of you were twenty. a young, dumb, and somehow not stupid but definitely reckless who took a big tramp of change among themselves.

satoru was the one who asked you to get married after almost four years of being inside an on and off relationship. that was very fast and very reckless at that time—but of course you agreed because you are a fool to get yourself blinded by your love towards him.

so, the two of you got married and with only some people whom you both held close dearly attended the said wedding. it was simple and civil, but to you, it was your everything. the wedding and this marriage mean so much to you.

your marriage went pretty well in your first few months of being married. both of you got yourself a house with a nice garden that you absolutely adore, you also got yourselves a work almost instantly too. satoru got more missions since he was now a graduate, while you work in your own cafe and occasionally take jujutsu stuff.

things were really fine with heaven as the witness. until one night during your almost first anniversary, you caught him going home around three to four o'clock in the morning with a smell of alcohol and woman's perfume that's definitely not yours. he's really drunk, which was weird because he hates alcohol. you wondered what's the occasion or any celebration that should be celebrated and whatnots, but you can't think of any. so that leads you to silently crying.

you did not confront him about your first suspicion of cheating, you want him to admit it himself, but that doesn't mean you're going to tolerate that piece of shit because for god's sake! there's a fucking hickey on his neck that night, you knew it wasn't yours since you've barely had an intercourse due to both of your busy schedules.

you remember asking him about his whereabouts that night like you weren't aware, but his answer just disappoints you, he told you that he had an emergency mission and needed him in action asap at kyoto around 11pm and it took him some time to finish it. as mentioned before, his answer disappoints you, because your assumption has been partially proven.

satoru was clearly lying about his whereabouts that night but still the cheating allegations were not clear. maybe the seemingly foreign hickeys on his neck was already evidence but you're probably still in denial, so you didn't instantly conclude that he was really cheating with you.

but you still couldn't shake off his illicit affairs. why? because satoru was lying about the emergency mission on kyoto. he wasn't there, you knew that because you were the one who took the mission, not him. satoru actually rejected the mission because he's busy with other matters so you took it yourself without even telling him.

all of these things that are happening leads you back to that day when he proposed to you. it was so sudden that it made you a little bit skeptical. but when you asked him why he suddenly asked you to get married? easy, you didn't know.

however, you had your hypothesis that after geto disappeared and went on his rebellious phase, you let gojo use you to relieve his grief. that is why when you realize that this marriage is meant to not last long, you secretly cry to yourself during your first year anniversary as a married couple.

meanwhile, satoru knew to himself that he couldn't stand a long-term relationship. though he also started to feel bad for making things go very quickly with you, his love towards you is pure and genuine. in fact, he would do anything just to keep you safe and happy. but he wasn't able to do that when you're the opposite of him.

he is selfish and you are selfless.

no matter how hard he tried to change or even make things up for you, he just couldn't do it. there's this invisible dark string that pulls him inside the void of darkness. and he couldn't afford to bring you down with him. the thing that geto did really left a scar, a permanent scar to his chest that creates an inescapable hole that keeps on growing bigger and sucking his life in the process.

while you, you fully commit yourself to him. that's why everything would be pointless for satoru to let himself get hurt just to protect you. because you would literally throw yourself in the fire when he's burning.

it was like the two of you are a magnet with the same pole. you can't attract each other no matter how hard you try to let them collide.

back to reality, your head was faced downward. your husband sought for your eyes by calling your name meticulously, but you refused. an internal laugh at your pathetic figure rang through your mind, you are laughing at yourself for believing that you are already prepared for this moment, turns out, you're not—you’ll never be.

satoru mumbles your name again. and all of the sudden, you just let out a nod, followed by a small sigh. you let yourself look at him again despite the unnoticed tears in your eyes.

"okay, but let's spend this whole day as husband and wife for the last time. let's do the things we usually do during our free time." you said, and satoru agrees with you almost instantly. he thinks this is the least thing he could do for you before setting each other free.

everything went normal for the rest of the day. satoru takes you out for lunch, visits your favorite cafe for desserts, and even goes to the park where he asked you out to be his wife.

and right now, the two of you are in the cemetery, specifically in haibara's graveyard. the sun was proceeding to its dusk, making the place a bit solemn because of its ambience.

"do you think he'll be mad at my decision?" your soon-to-be ex-husband asked you with his small tired voice. haibara was your bestest friend of all and he actually talked to gojo when he's still alive about his relationship with you. he would like gojo to take care of you and treat you more than you deserve in your entire life.

"i don't think so. haibara only wants the best for us. he's a man of freedom, after all. and yet, how ironic because he, himself, has no freedom during his time in the jujutsu." you answered him as you watched the candle burn itself.

satoru looked at you. "how about you, y/n? are you mad at my decision?" he asked you a bit hesitant.

you just smiled at him and said, "i will answer that later, satoru." satoru nodded at your answer, he understood that you had a lot to say to him later.

after some time, you two decided to go home to your shared apartment. the journey back was fun and relaxing, it was filled with smiles and laughter that will soon vanish as the dawn is coming.

6:00 PM

both of you arrived at home. you helped satoru hang his coat on the raker like you usually do whenever he comes home during winter. this small act is something that would be definitely missed by him dearly, since you will not be around to do it.

"thanks for agreeing to go out with me." you said to him with a smile that almost reached your eyes. the only thing that stops you from giving your bestest smile was the divorce, but you subside because this is your last day as a married couple. you have to enjoy it to the extent.

"that was the least thing i could do for you before…nevermind." he said. satoru was not cheerful enough to make you smile whenever your eyes met. you also noticed that he was downhearted since you visited haibara's graveyard.

though as you were heading in your shared apartment, he was smiling and laughing. guess you didn't overlook him at all and you failed to notice his hidden pain.

you watched him lay down on the couch. "you looked bothered. was it because i didn't answer your question earlier?" you said quietly.

satoru didn't say anything, and according to his vocabulary, silence means yes. you sigh to yourself and take a seat on the same couch where your husband was lying in.

your hand reached out for his face, cupping it as satoru looked at you with his hooded eyelids. those magical six blue eyes are staring at you with known emotion, pain and agony.

"you didn't ask me why i suddenly wanted to get divorce…" he mumbles, nestling his head in your palm.

"you agreed without questioning me. i don't even see you cry about this. why y/n? are you hurting yourself by keeping your emotions inside you?" he continued. the pain in his voice breaks your heart into bits of pieces. satoru looked so vulnerable, his true emotions are showing exclusively for you.

you let out a small but bitter chuckle. "crying is not part of the things we usually do during our free time together, toru." his eyes widened at your answer. a droplet of tears slide down on your palm. satoru was crying, and you let him weep because you knew he's pent up.

"and i'm not mad at you. i also didn't ask you any questions because i know you know what you are doing and i respect your decision." you added.

"although, i admit. i want to bawl my eyes out. i want to scream because my heart is aching for believing that i was prepared for this moment." your breathings started to become shaky also just by watching satoru weep under your touch.

you refused to cry. at least not now.

"but i don't want to ruin this day by crying. i want both of us to savor this moment with smiles and laughter. so that when we part our ways, we wouldn't have any regrets to hold."

"so, satoru…let's continue to spend the rest of our night happily, hmm?" you let yourself smile for him to be motivated to stop from crying. however, he did the opposite. satoru cried even harder.

your hand is being cradled by him. you could feel his tears on your palm followed by his little hiccups. this scene alone in front of was usually enough to make you cry even harder than him. it was utterly heartbroken to see your man cry like this.

"hush, my…" love, that's the word you would like to say but forbids you to do so. satoru also noticed it too and he absolutely hates the feeling of it.

"l-love. call me love. c-call me like you used to call me before. first name basis is not part of the things we usually do during our free time together." he mimicked your words earlier. though it may sound like a joke, it isn't. satoru has been dead serious since the beginning of the day.

"my love…"

"y-yes, my sweetheart?" he responded.

your lips quiver from the overflowing emotions in your chest, but you still refuse to let yourself cry even when you're all by yourself. god, you are hopeless and devastated.

but dear me, it felt so good to hear him call you with endearing words. oh how you wish this kind of moment would last forever. maybe in another life, it would be. only if fate would be kind enough to give satoru to you again, maybe it will and it would be.

8:00 PM

satoru was all alone. his eyes were puffy from crying and stuff. he was such a mess. and if anyone would see, they would probably think that he's a zombie because of how low energy he was.

it took him almost an hour to stop crying. and you declared that this is the first and would be the last time that you would see him cry very hard.

right now, he was currently packing his things as he was about to move out tonight while playing betty by taylor swift. somehow, his mood got even more affected by this song, for every lyric hits him hard and he doesn't know why.

"♪ you heard the rumors from inez, you can't believe a word she says ♪" the radio sang. a shaky sigh came out from his mouth, he felt like crying again.

“♪ most times, but this time, it was true ♪”

"let me help you pack your things." you suddenly barge inside your onced shared bedroom after cleaning up for tonight. you are also in your sleep wear when satoru looks at you.

“♪ the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you ♪”

you didn't fail to notice that he is listening to one of your favorite artist's songs. a flashback hits you, it was the moment where you persuade him to listen to it with you. now, he has grown invested in their songs.

he mumbles a small okay as he watches you sit down beside him and redo the messy clothes he just stuffed inside his luggage. most of his clothes were luxurious like polo shirts, slacks pants, coats, and his favorite, blindfolds.

your eyes soften when you come across a small pouch that contains hair ties and bobby pins you onced bought for him as a prank. you still remembered the moment he let you tie his messy white locks with colorful pins and he looked so incredibly pretty with it. you couldn't help but to feel yourself getting emotional again.

don't cry. don't cry. don't cry.

meanwhile, satoru remained very quiet, for he was staring at the photo in his hand. it was your wedding photo where the both of you are wearing traditional japanese attire. he couldn't help but stare at your smiling face for too long. you looked so beautiful.

the wedding was very simple, but satoru describes it as one of his happiest days, and he is not lying to himself whenever he would say that. because he onced dreamed of getting married to you, and it came true. he also had the same state as you, both on the verge of crying.

"i wonder…would you get remarried someday?" he asked out of the sudden. you shifted your gaze to him and found him staring at your wedding photo. instantly, your eyes went soft.

"i am not sure." you replied silently as you closed his luggage and proceeded to the other one.

your hands momentarily stop working as you stare at them and watch it shake. "but if i do, it would probably take me a decade or so to find another husband to love." you said. but truth to be told, you had no motivation left to find another husband.

"you're twenty-two right now. so like…you'll be thirty plus by then when that happens," he calculated. "how about you? would you consider getting remarried also?" you asked him the same question.

he thinks for a moment before nodding slightly. "probably yes." your heart let out a wince but you tried your best to hide it. those words unintentionally hurt you and cut you deeper than a knife.

"w-well, i just wished good luck for both of us in the future." the crack in your voice didn't go unnoticed by satoru. he was about to reach you but then eventually dropped it. "me too…" was all he could say.

"anyway, do you mind if i ask…where are you staying after this?" you trailed off.

"i'll stay with higuruma for a day before moving out to my new apartment. speaking of that man, i told him to be here around midnight. so we still have four hours to be together." he answered

"...yeah."

10:00 PM

the two of you are sitting on the same seat just like this morning in the balcony. you are wearing your favorite cardigan as satoru was in his coat to fight the cold weather of the night.

all of his things were already packed and ready to leave. soon, you'll be alone and this house will not be lively as usual because his presence will be missed.

both of you refuse to say a word, yet. because you two are scared to have another breakdown that made this marriage even harder to break. especially satoru, he was aware that deep inside him he was not ready to let you go. he was just lying to himself because he is aware that he can heal if he gives himself some time.

"y/n, can i hold you here in my arms?" satoru swallowed all of the bitterness he felt for leaving you just to hold you again, for one last time. you slowly stood up from your and came towards in front of him.

your soon-to-be ex-husband gazes upon you. however, you refuse to meet those warm eyes that you loved the most. satoru slowly pulls you into his lap and cradles you like his greatest treasure, which you definitely is.

when your face hits his shoulder, you couldn't help but to hide your face deeper into his neck. "the place i'm going to stay afterwards is far from here. are you sure you will be okay?" he whispers in your ears.

"yeah, i'll be fine." you nodded solemnly. "i also planned to stop from my work for a while." you added.

"why?" satoru raises his eyebrow. he thought you loved your job as a barista. you enjoyed making coffee and wherever there's extra pastries left in the cafe, you would take it home for him to try it.

"don't worry, i had a lot of fortune that could last for a century. and besides, you even said i had a midas touch, so surviving won't be too hard for me." when your parents died, they left all of their fortune to you. so that makes you an instant millionaire and nobody knows that beside your husband.

satoru gently pushes you to meet his eyes. "i think this moment is perfect to give all of my secrets away. i don't need any perfect lies to hide from you anymore." he tucked the loose hair on the back of your ear, admiring your beautiful frame under the pale moonlight.

he gulped nervously, and for some reason, you're becoming very anxious about what he's going to tell. all you had to do was to wait for him to speak his thoughts out.

"the reason why i want to divorce is to have a new life and forget about the past. that includes you, y/n." though he only started, millions of knives already stabbed your poor heart. your eyes stared at him, a bit widely.

satoru couldn't bear to look at your pained expression, but he forced himself to look at you. so that you would feel his sincerity. "before suguru disappeared, he once told me to choose another path of life. he told me to run away from the jujutsu, run away from my life." he said, almost whispering.

"although, i want you to come with me. but…"

"i somehow got myself involved with the jujutsu too?" you continued it for him. satoru falls silent, so that means yes, it is true.

satoru cups your face. "i'm sorry, y/n. i really, really love you. but this is not the right path for us. you'll get more hurt if you continue to get tangled with me. so, after a lot of thinking and consideration…"

"i became selfish once again. i chose myself over you, y/n."

for the nth time, the walls you have been building around your emotional state are starting to shake once more. you could feel the hot tears building in your eyes.

you will not cry. you will not cry. you will not cry.

"i-i understand…although, you don't have to apologize for choosing what is the best for you. i'm actually glad that you're finally doing it." you plant your palms over his hands on your cheeks, closing your eyes to swallow up those annoying tears.

"i'm such a bad husband, aren't i?" satoru chuckles weakly. what has he done to deserve you like this? your understandment is something that he greatly admires in you. your heart is pure like an angel from above.

an angel like you can't fly down hell with him.

but god, you're making yourself willing to go down with him without any hesitation and that is just completely wrong.

and for the past years, satoru would make a mistake and you are there to correct him patiently. he would always tell himself to make something and make everything up for you. but who would have thought a divorce is the best thing to do?

"to be honest, not at all. remember what i told you before we got married? you are the fire and i'm the—"

"gasoline?"

"no silly, that's a song." your laugh brightens up the atmosphere. satoru smiled at your happy demure, he likes seeing you this joyful.

"you are the fire and i'm the fireman. a fireman would not function completely when there is no fire. meaning, why would i, a fireman, be here if there's no you, a fire." you raised your fingers to help you visualize your point.

"does that make sense to you?"

satoru shook his head. "no."

you snapped your finger. "exactly! you think i'm bad at explaining things, while i think of myself as great at explaining things. that's the same as you thinking you're a bad husband, while i think of you as a great husband."

"..."

"i made you speechless, meaning you agree and i'm great at philosophy!" you boosted yourself by imagining a crowd was giving you a round of applause.

your husband wonders for a moment before cackling a laugh. "that still didn't make sense to me but it brought a lot of comfort to me. thank you, y/n."

"come on! just admit you love my philosophical nonsense." you pouted, hitting his shoulder playfully.

satoru laughed once again, pulling you by waist as he buried his face in your hair. "of course i do. i love everything about you." and he would still do, always and forever.

"i'm going to miss this." you mumbled as you relaxed on his touch. satoru also agrees, kissing your head all over again.

"and i'm going to miss you too, a lot." he said sincerely. the two of you held the longest stare on this day. you just let yourselves drown with each other's enticing orbs.

satoru was the first one to break the record by sighing and rubbing his eyes. the truth is, he couldn't bear to look at you any longer because he could see how broken you looked through your eyes just because of him. instead, he hides his face once more on your neck.

“i'm really, really, really sorry, y/n. i'm so sorry for using you. i’m so sorry for cheating on you. i’m so sorry for hurting you. i'm so sorry for not choosing you again. i'm so sorry for being selfish. i'm so sorry for everything." there it is, again. his hot tears are back and now drenching your shoulder.

"i used you as a getaway from my sins and from the grief that day, y/n. you should've said no when i asked you to marry me, but why did you do the opposite?" his voice became slightly thicker, he's definitely frustrated.

"i did it for love, satoru." you answered without hesitation.

satoru momentarily stopped crying as his breath hitch. "yes, i'm already aware of your true intentions that day. but i still chose to marry you because i love you. i know it sounds so dumb but it's true." you continued.

you could feel his arms around your body tighten, scared of letting you go from nothing. it was like he was begging the gods, if there was one seeing the both of them right now, to let him be delusional and not take you away from him.

"let me ask you this time, do you regret marrying me?" you whispered.

your husband looked at you with unshed tears. "i don't. but i regret that this is the end of us."

why is it always the time where someone would tell their true feelings when everything is falling apart? so if this divorce wouldn't happen, does that mean his word would be forever kept inside him?

"i've always wanted to tell you that i was actually glad that you became my wife. i thought you would be my endgame. instead, you became the reason why i am still here and breathing."

the void of regret is slowly pulling him inside. but you are there to make sure that he would survive the gravitational pull. you just loved him so you will help to let you go.

"i love you, my sweetheart, my y/n, m-my wife..."

12:00 AM

it was quiet, really, really quiet. higuruma was looking at the two of you all over again. his eyes showed sympathy for both of you and he was sad because this is the end for you and satoru.

right now, both of you are staring blankly at the divorce paper on the table. no one was making a first move by signing it.

you let out a sigh, a heavy feeling was buried deep in your heart. your whole body feels so numb and you still haven't cried for today. everything feels so wrong, yet at the same time it feels right. you don't know what to do anymore.

as you recall your conversation with him, you just wished it didn't end and would continue forever. because you know you'll never get tired of hearing his voice, his laugh, and his philosophical nonsense too.

not to mention, you've also dreamed of building a family with him. a mini satoru and mini y/n sounds nice, doesn't it? as your eyes wandered across this apartment, you can depict your children with him running around. god, if you were dreaming, please don't wake up.

"higuruma, can you please just wait for me in the car…? i-i would like to have a final conversation with my wife." satoru suddenly spoke and nanami left without hesitation.

"so this is it?"

"yeah, t-this is the end." satoru chuckles breathlessly. there was like a big chuck on his throat that made him feel suffocating. truth to be told, he doesn't want this to be the end. but again, he has to.

"thank you for giving me a total of the best six years of my life, toru. i mean it, thank you." you counted the first four years of your relationship and the two years of your marriage. playing with your hands to mend the shakiness, it was a constant reminder that only a few minutes left before the surname satoru would be stripped of your name.

"thank you too, y/n. i also had so much fun and love these past six years. thank you for all of the things you have done for me." he said silently.

all this time, you are the only one looking at him because his eyes were focused on the paper in front of him. "good luck on your new path. i wish you the best." you intentionally called his attention.

"you're really staying here in this apartment…alone?" satoru asked you.

you let yourself smile slightly as you shifted into a more comfortable position. "yeah… just in case you feel homesick, this would be a reminder that you still have a home…only if you want to." the air in this room is very thick and it's suffocating you.

"t-thank you, y/n, really." he expressed his gratitude once again.

a nagging feeling tells you that satoru was about to go back on his decision at any minute. and you too would probably go back to your decisions you had set for both of you. it would be more devastating for you if satoru didn't achieve his plans for himself in the near future.

"let's not make higuruma wait."

satoru falls silent. now he was stuck in a madness of a dilemma. in short, he was starting to rethink his decision to the point that he didn't notice he was staining the divorce paper with tears. his hands began to shake violently along with his cries becoming louder any minute.

satoru finally lost his cool as he wailed loudly in front of you. the sound of his sobs made you clench your lip as your chest tightened once more.

you on the other hand, you're trying your best not to slip any tears down from your cheeks. you successfully stopped them from falling this morning, you couldn't afford to cry not because there's only a few minutes left before you would let yourself fall into a pit of sadness.

sensing that neither of you would make a move, you are aware that satoru couldn't bring himself to do it even though he had to. so, you gently steal the paper away from him.

divorce agreement…it read. oh how you despise those two words.

"satoru, i mentioned to you a while ago that the reason why i want to spend this last day as a married couple is because i want us to leave without holding any regrets." you started with your pen touching the paper. satoru's eyes widened, he wanted to stop you from doing it but nothing was coming out from his mouth.

"i can see it in your eyes, you're doubting your decisions." you continued as you wrote your name. in satoru's horror, only your signature is needed and everything would be over for him.

however, you stopped writing. you tapped the table to gather his attention to you. there he saw you smiling dearly at him.

"did you have fun spending time with me this whole day?" satoru knows your intention. you are encouraging him to do what he was supposed to do even if it means leaving you.

"yes…yes i do, i enjoyed being with you." he stuttered. the tears were still streaming down his face and he was using his sleeve to wipe it. you reached for the tissue and gave it to satoru as you watched him wiped his eyes and blow his nose.

"that's good to hear. i also had fun being with you. not only for this day, but the whole time i was with you, i enjoyed it." you grabbed his hands to soothe it by massaging those long and calloused fingers. satoru watches you and eventually becomes slightly calm by your actions.

you inched your lips into his fingers and kissed it delicately just like he used to do with you before. everything went blur to him and only the sound of your sweet nothing was audible into his messy world.

"i know you'll be doing great with or without me. so satoru, put more faith in yourself. this is another big step for us, and i want you to be ready just like i am." you swiftly slide the divorce paper in front of him. but this time, it has your signature on it.

satoru felt like he was being showered by the cold water as he stared at the paper with pure horror evident on his face. you finally did it, so there is no turning back now.

"h-how—when…! when did you sign it?" his voice cracked due to his frazzled emotions firing him repeatedly. satoru reaches the highest point of heartbreak he ever experienced in his life.

"when i gave you the tissue." you whispered weakly. to your dismay tears are only a slip away from your eyes a thousand times today.

"i don't want to sign it. i don't want to! i don't want to leave you anymore y/n!" he yelled. you accepted his lash out with open arms, but you can't do anything anymore. you finally signed the divorce settlement, and this paper wouldn't go if there's no signature of satoru.

you suddenly pull him into a passionate yet heartbroken kiss to shut him up. satoru eventually responds to your kiss, becoming more emotional than ever. while you are busy keeping him in company, you sneakily put the pen in his hand.

satoru felt an object in his palm, he knew you're telepathically telling him to sign the paper but he still refuses to acknowledge it, at least not yet. as he continues to devour your lips, his eyes are still producing salt tears that add more emotions in the atmosphere.

"i could see a bright future ahead of you, satoru." you muttered between the kisses.

"mhmp—you should grab it, please." you continued to deepen the kiss to lure him. but he voluntarily stepped away just to make a counter argument for that.

"but i could lose you if i do that." he whispers solemnly.

"we've already lost each other when we realized that everything was going too fast for both of us." you chuckled bitterly at your statement. "that it why it is time to face the consequences, by setting us free." you added.

"do…do you really want to do this?" he hiccups.

"this is what fate wants us to do." your voice is soothing as hell. it held no grudges nor resentment, just pure calm and adoration towards him.

but satoru still didn't bug and he still doesn't want to sign the papers.

your gaze never leaves him as satoru buries his face on his palm, weeping so quietly that you could almost hear a pin drop. it was getting so hard to watch so you looked away and slowly walked away.

"i am going out for a bit." you mumbled quietly, not waiting for him to reply or look as you walked away with your whole body shaking.

outside, there you saw higuruma leaning on his car exterior. "hey…" you greeted weakly. higuruma looked at you with a hint of sympathy in his eyes.

"hey…how did it go?" higuruma asked, his gaze falling on the papers in your hands.

"emotional." you joked.

"so, that's the end now?"

"...yep, that's the end now."

silence engulfed both of you, just your almost steady breathings and his observing orbs burning through your skin.

"never thought satoru could cry harder than he did when geto-san…you know." higuruma said, sighing as he tucks his hands on his pockets.

you nodded. "i know. satoru lost suguru literally, while he only lost me through relationship. he'd become more vulnerable around me, and that scares the hell out of me."

"i, his weakness, has become more exposed to his enemies. i know sooner or later, they would swoon to get me just to make him fall on his knees. we don't want that to happen, i don't want to be a bait nor a cause of his downfall. temporarily or permanently, satoru must not fall, no, not anymore." you continued.

"y/n-san, i hope you would also realize that failures, downfalls, mistakes, and damages are unavoidable, gojo-kun is no exception to all of that." higuruma argues.

"satoru is going to live a good life and have a future that he deserves, so who am i to halt it?” you ignored what he said because you know he was right.

“this is a big step for both of you. i just wished that everything would go well for the two of you.” higuruma smiled at you.

“we will, eventually.” you return the smile and then excuse yourself to go back inside, just to see satoru still crying nonstop.

approaching his figure, you wrapped your arms around his body to console the man. “don't go back to me now, satoru. if you cannot bring yourself to let go, then i will help you.” you whispered into his hair.

satoru pulled away just to look at you with his teary eyes. “i’m sorry, y/n. i’m really sorry.” he keeps on apologizing to you, while you just smile at him and wipe the tears in his eyes.

“it's alright, satoru. i already forgave you a long time ago.” you said.

“i can't sign it. i don't want to sign that anymore.” he confessed. a small form made its way to your temple” “but this is for both of us. don't you want to have a brand new start? how can we thrive when we both have shackles on our feet?”

“i-i thought everything was easy. i thought i could l-let you go that easily. but i was wrong. it's so hard to let go of us, y/n. and as much as i would like to do what i meant to do, it's just so hard to see us disappear from our now individual lives.” satoru buries his face on your stomach. your hands immediately made its way towards his hair as tears are threatening you once again.

“it's hard to let you go too, satoru. but it would be harder to see you suffer more when you're here with me.” it was getting late and satoru was still amidst the crisis, but you are determined to get him out of there.

“look at me, toru.” you cupped his cheeks and made him look at you. “you’ve still got a whole world to see. so don't you ever get worried about me because i’ll be more happy to see you free without any worries.

“go live a life that you weren't able to do when we were still kids. do what you always wanted to do.”

“and just so you know, i will always love you and you will always have a special place in my home.” you put his hand to your left chest where your heart lies. “here, satoru. you'll always be here.”

satoru pulled you into the tightest hug since it was literally the last and you wouldn't mind. reciprocating the hug, you finally smiled whole-heartedly and it even reached your eyes.

“whatever happens, i love you, y/n. i love you more than anything. i have loved you since the first time i saw you. and i will always love you even if this would be the last time i would see you.” throughout the six years that you two had been together, from boyfriend-girfriend relationship until to marriage—this was the very first time he declared his love to you with so much intensity.

your eyes nearly gave up on how long you've been trying to hold your tears. but you still swore that night that you'll never shed a tear unless satoru is out of the scene because you knew how much effect your crying causes him.

to hide your emotions, you pull him closer and share the last and passionate kiss as two persons who share the same surname are binded by the law. both of you could feel the emotions begin to overflow as things become more sensitive.

you were the first one to pull away as satoru was still crying. cradling his cheeks, you connected your foreheads together and said again, “let's not make higuruma wait any further.”

satoru knew it was time, time for him to finally sign the divorce paper that he's been planning for a month now.

he expected this one too just like you, so it shouldn't hurt, but why is his heart still aching? with a final stroke of his signature, satoru felt so empty. his soul feels like missing and something was taken away from him.

both have done it—a trial away and the marriage will no longer be valid. there would be no mr. and mrs. gojo now because both will live differently.

grabbing the paper with your shaky hands, you turn around at satoru and give him the final hug with a final kiss. “good luck on your new life, satoru. i’ll always cheer for you and support you until the end.”

“thank you so much, y/n. i really mean it.”

and with that, you and satoru shared the same sad smile you could utter at that moment. sure, this night will end bittersweet, but tomorrow is a brand new start.

you watched satoru walk solemnly towards the car. he looked like a ghost wandering around the vicinity without any will to search for the true paradise for him to rest. it really broke your heart that this is the end for both of you.

and with now fully signatured divorce paper on his hands, satoru felt that each step he took, he felt like fainting on the spot because of how devastating he felt.

but you cannot undo everything now. satoru had officially become your sweet memory and a stranger on the street at the same time. just as he was about to go inside the car, you called out for his name one last time.

your ex-husband looked at you with tired, red, and puffy eyes. you let yourself give the bestest smile you could offer at this moment. a smile entitled one last smile before saying a goodbye.

"if we found each other in another world, let me be your wife again!"

satoru's eyes glisten with tears once more. nevertheless, he also offers you the bestest smile he could manage. he is now letting his broken heart go out of your grasp. forcing himself to swallow and accept that in this lifetime, you are no longer his.

but if the two of you would be reborn or somewhere in the multiverse, he would pray that the two of you got the life you onced failed to build, and that was something he would wish for forever.

"of course! and i will choose you this time. we would make a family that we once dreamt of, and i will give you the honor to name our children." satoru yelled back, making your smile widen.

you could finally rest knowing that there would be a lifetime waiting for both of you somewhere in the future. and this time, you are not being delusional because you know it'll be going to happen and you'll make it happen.

"emi!"

"what?" satoru halted his steps to focus his attention on you.

"i want our first born daughter to be named emi." you've actually dreamed of having a child with him, in that dream, her name is emi. it was like a sign to you, so when you woke up, you immediately searched its meaning and found out that emi means blessed.

you are blessed.

both of you definitely feel blessed to have each other.

that being said, you have kept that name for a while now. sooner, you wished that name would be used with satoru's surname entangled to it.

because in this life, it was unfortunate not to use the name emi. you only want to use that name with him and only him. for you lived with him, loved him, and dreamed with him.

but patience is a virtue. you are willing to wait for that dream, for him. time is not a problem to you because you'd be fully patient just for him.

"have a safe journey, gojo satoru. i will be waiting for you in our next lives." you gently bow your head to send your wish for his safety.

with that, satoru enters the car without looking at you anymore. he was afraid that if he looked at you, he might find himself running back into your loving arms again.

"we'll be going now, y/n." higuruma rolled the window and waved a farewell to you.

you just nod at him while you watch the car slowly disappear from your eyesight. sad but true, you will be waking up all alone from now on 'till your thirties.

no more satoru to wake you up with cuddles. no more satoru who would make corny jokes randomly. no more satoru to who would always remind you that you have a husband. just no more satoru gojo—

drip…

a tear, followed by another, and another until it just flows uncontrollably. you are finally a crying-mess. you're letting yourself cry and let your emotions out by a shout of pain escaping out from your lips.

it was all over.

satoru chooses his life over you, and you choose satoru over your life. with your knees planted on the pavement, your hand travels towards your mouth to cover your loud painful sobs.

all of the tears that you had been keeping since this morning, finally had their freedom to flow at your cheeks along with anguish scream that came out of your broken heart.

you finally lost this time.

[a special chapter will be posted soon, so stay tuned and just comment if you want to be added on the taglist for this one — ©luvvixu2024]

[l0vely-sturniolo]

NEEDLES

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings; mentions of needles, being anxious

using my personal experience for this one (kinda).

——————————————————————————

i was in the hospital with covid. matt has been with me the entire time, ignoring my protests for him to go home. i've been here for 2 days already, and honestly, there was no sign of me going home anytime soon.

i looked over to see matt asleep, in what looked like a very uncomfortable position, in an uncomfortable chair. i sighed to myself, he should be at home sleeping in his own bed. it's a lot more comfortable.

i turned on the tv and watched it for a little while, and then i heard movement next to me, i looked over and matt was stretching. "hi baby," he smiled. "how long have you been up?" he asked. "maybe like half an hour? you looked uncomfortable baby, why don't you go home and sleep somewhere comfortable?" i asked him.

"and leave you here alone? no, i'm okay." he said. "but-" "y/n, baby, you're scared of doctors, and anything that has to do with them, im staying here, im not gonna leave you here alone to be scared," he said, grabbing my hand.

"fine," i sighed, squeezing his hand. we heard a knock on the door, and a nurse came in. "hello y/n, how you feeling?" she asked. "okay," i smiled. "good, okay so, we have to run a few tests, which means we have to take some blood from you," she said, and i tensed up.

"how much?" i asked. "we're probably gonna take a few syringes full," she said and i nodded. "the nurse should be in soon, i just wanted to give you a heads up," she smiled at me, before leaving. i looked over at matt, and he was already looking at me.

"it's okay, you'll be okay, i'm right here," he said, getting up, walking over to me. "see? and you wanted me to go home," he smirked. "shut up," i told him. a few minutes later, there was another knock on the door, and another nurse came in.

"alright, y/n, you ready? we'll get it done and over with real quick," she said, and i hesitated, but nodded. i saw her lay everything out next to me, i saw the needles and i started panicking. "baby, baby, you're okay, look at me," matt told me.

"shes afraid of needles," matt told the nurse, and she nodded. "that's okay! this will only take like a minute y/n, i promise," she said. "keep looking at me baby, don't even look over there," matt said while the nurse was wrapping that plastic thing around my arm. "matt," i said.

"you're okay," he said, moving the hair out of my face with his hand. "i'm right here," he reminded. i felt a poke in my arm and went to look, but matt took his hand to make me look at him.

"one done, i just need 2 more," the nurse said. i felt another poke in my arm, and this time i looked over before matt could stop me, and my eyes widened. "y/n," he said, making me look at him. "you're almost done, it's okay," he said. "you're doing great y/n! one more," she said, and once again, i felt another poke in my arm.

"and you're all done!" she said, pulling the needle out, and taking the plastic thing off of my arm. i looked over and saw 3 syringes of my blood, and i wanted to throw up, pass out, cry.

"do you need anything?" the nurse asked as she cleaned up. "no, i'm okay," i mumbled. "okay, we'll be back in a little bit to check on you," she smiled at me and matt, before leaving.

"im so proud of you baby, i told you you'd be okay," he smiled at me, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "i love you," i mumbled, i wasn't a very happy camper right now. "i love you, pretty girl," he kissed my forehead again.

——————————————————————————

tags:

@stayingstromboli

[mysunshinetemptress]

Anxiety (lil McCabe universe)

Leah Williamson x McCabe!reader!ex

Magdalena Eriksson x Pernille Harder x McCabe!reader!platonic

Warnings: Talks of anxiety, not edited or proofread

You’re anxious, a feeling that has followed you around way longer than you would like to admit, a feeling that has consumed you way longer than your family, your Mam, knows about, longer than anyone knows about.

You had tried to tell her about the funny feeling you had as a kid, your little heart racing, your mind spinning, spiraling into the never-ending feeling of fear, but there was always something else, someone else. It wasn’t your Mam’s fault, nor was it your siblings’. They had things they needed her for, their own problems. Your Mam had her own problems. Surely this feeling, this sickening feeling, wasn’t as important as your siblings’ feelings, their needs and wants. They were older, so much older, they had more serious problems, more important problems and feelings than this feeling you were dealing with, right?

You didn't know why you so sick, it was so much more than butterflies, defenitly not excitement, it wasn't until you had been all grown up and earning enough money to visit a doctor did you get a diagnosis.

"Miss McCabe, you suffer from anxiety"

You had felt a weight being liftied off you the moment your feelings had been givien a name, that you weren't just looking for attention, you weren't just making it up, made you feel so much lighter then you had ever felt.

"You said you have been suffereing with these feelings since you were a child, did you ever try to tell anyone."

You nod, you had tried, when you couldn't go to your mam, you had tried one of your older siblings, you had tried to tell Katie, but she was to busy to deal with you "Y/n, can't you see i'm playing with Lauryn, your supposed to be a big girl now not a baby stop makeing things up for attention." you dropped your head as Katie muttered "Seriously she really needs to grow up."

"I tried." the docotor nodes her head her eyes scanning your solum face "How come you decided to look for answers now? For help now?"

You pick at your fingers "My girlfriend...She-she said she was worried about me...that-that sometimes I have trouble sleeping" you take a breath picking at your fingers looking towards the door, "I have trouble concentrating, she...I don't...she just said i should come here, that i should get a check up make sure im ok." The doctor smiled at you softly "If your girlfriend hadn't pushed you to come see me, would you have come eventualy."

Would you? "No" she looks surprised at your answer "No? why?" You look at the door again picking at the skin around your nails "I-I-I have to get on with it, I have to learn to get on with it-I have to grow up." The doctor looks even more surpriesed, sad, unhappy with your answer. Why is she unhappy with your answer?

“This isn’t something you can grow out of Miss McCabe, anxiety isn’t something you should just push on with, it can cause serious mental health problems for you if you do.” You shake your head no “I-I don’t have time-I have to get on with it-it’s the only way.” The doctor lets out a sigh “You said you come from a big family, surely one of them doesn’t mind talking to you about these things.” You shake your head again “They don’t need this, they-they don’t need anymore then they already have.” The doctor wants to press on you can see that but her attention is pulled to your bloody hands, you’ve picked at them till they bled. She looks to the door “Your girlfriend then.” Again you shake your head.

Leah doesn’t deserve the stress of something being wrong with you, she doesn’t deserve the possible sacrifices she’ll have to make in order to make you feel comfortable and happy. Not her,not Leah, not when she is the only person who looks at you and not through you, the only person whose hand fits and hold yours instead of passing through.

“I can look after myself, I-I have done it for long enough.”

You can look after yourself, you have done it for long enough, it’s the mantra you repeat in your head again and again as you arrive at the training grounds for Bayern, it’s the mantra you repeat every time your anxiety strikes and you feel yourself pick at your hands.

Bayern Munich, fresh start, no Katie, no Arsenal, no stupid bets, no Leah. Y/n, just Y/n.

“Hi.” Bayern Munich and Magdalena Eriksson, Bayern Munich and Pernille Harder.

You look behind you trying to see if it’s anyone else they are talking to, but there’s no one, there’s only you.

You.

You think for a second and the voices scream in your head, they are just like the others, this is a joke another bet, who can get closest to the new girl first. Who can pretend to be her friend the best.

Your hands, your poor hands sting as you begin to pick at them again, they are the same as the others, they have to be, all you are is worth a bet, 100 quid.

But still, there is no one behind you, no one new in the car park and the older women continue to smile at you softly.

Magda looks at your hands her smile faltering, she drags her eyes up your body, now noticing your heaving chest, your panicking, your shivering slightly yet you speak, you force yourself to talk to them even though it’s scaring the living shit out of you

“Hi”

[mxnhoo]

see the stars (y. jw)

"with you, late night, it's full of starlight" ╰➤ jungwon x fem!reader genre bestfriends to lovers typa shi, fluff, romance, sweet as hell, just a quick drabble because why not!, not proof-read, wrote this in one sitting and in like one hour, lowkey cringey n cheesy word count 1961 cly's note was working on my hj fic but i wanted to switch it up, so i went to my playlist and wrote the first song that stood out to me, which is let's go see the stars ! genuinely love the song. hope u guys love this one — not really done that well cos it's just a drabble and im about to fall asleep, but regardless if u loved it please reblog comment n like <3 anyways goodnight AJSDIWJEO

now playing so let's go see the stars - boynextdoor

"what do you possibly have to show me at this point of time?!" you fought, failing to pull your arms back as Jungwon giggles, leadng you up a steep grassy hill.

"it's so dark, i literally can't see anything," you continued to complain, waving your phone which had the flashlight on in hopes of making the surroundings around you visible but to no avail.

"c'mon! just stop complaining, we're almost there okay?" Jungwon voiced out, still holding onto your wrist and bringing you up the grassy hill. you shook your head in disbelief, feeling anxious that any bug could literally jump on your leg and bite you since you were wearing shorts. more under cut

you looked behind you, seeing your car that was parked on an empty road beside a dimly lit streetlight and pouted, wishing that you weren't out in the dark and nature at this time. the last time you checked it was 12:23a.m and it was in the car, and you sighed as you completely gave in to Jungwon, allowing him to drag you without anymore resistence.

no words were spoken but he softly chuckled to himself, probably realising that you had given up on trying to fnd out where the fuck he was bringing you, and hiked up more gleefully.

Jungwon was your best friend, one that you spent a lot of time with. a scary amount of time with, and you inevitably caught feelings for him. shocking, am i right?

you shook your head, trying to brush away the thoughts of wishing he was your boyfriend or whatnot, and tried to treat this moment platonically. he spoke up, breaking the train of thought in your head, "almost there, you'll love it Y/N".

you sighed and shook your head even if he couldn't see, "i still don't know where you're bringing me. i hope you aren't murdering me or whatever."

he looked back at you and slightly angled his phone flashlight at you, his pout being somewhat visible, "how could you say that?". with his phone still in his hand, he put it on his chest to dramatically act out that he was offended. "i'm so offended," he whined, and you roll your eyes.

he laughed out loud, his laugh warming up your heart and he turns back, missing the stupid smile that was plastered across your face when you heard his contagious smile.

you finally felt like the grassy hill you were climbing on was getting more steep, the atmosphere that was being hidden by the cliff being slowly revealed as you continued to hike up. "almost there," Jungwon spoke, and it almost distracted you from the way his hand that was gripping your wrist sneaked it's way to your hand, interlocking your hands together.

your eyes slightly widen at his action, not wanting to say anything to give your flustered state away and you nodded at his statement even if he couldn't see. once you were finally up at at the top of the cliff, he continued bringing you to an area where there was a mat already set on the grassy floor. "we're heeere!," he said, his tone sounding bubbly.

you raised your eyebrows, feeling slightly confused as to why there was a mat being set in the middle of nowhere, especially in the middle of the night but Jungwon led you to it, stepping on it and sitting down, pulling you down to do the same.

he slowly released your hand and you silently grumbled at the loss of warmth, and you sat at the opposite side of him. "okay, so why are we here?" you shoot out the question that you were the most curious about.

"look up, Y/N," he spoke, his voice now deep and you almost immediately obeyed, your head shooting up to the sky and taking in the most beautiful view ever.

the way the stars nicely decorated the sky, specks of white at certain portions and single dots at other areas. it was perfect since the clouds were completely cleared up, having no disruption to the view. you gaze at the view in awe, not realising how you were now smiling to yourself and you didn't realise Jungwon giggling, his flashlight angled towards your body, "do you like it?".

"love it," you mumbled, your eyes not averting away from the sky and he laughed at how immersed you were at the sky. you turned your head constantly, taking in all the different star patterns in the sky and you pouted to the sky, "that looks like a heart!".

immediately hearing your comment, Jungwon follows your finger and shoots his head up, his eyes scanning the sky and trying to see which one you were talking about. "ahh, yeah i see it!" he replies once he finally sees what you're talking about.

you didn't know why, but your heart felt so warm. after what seemed like forever, your eyes averted from the sky to Jungwon. it was dim, but you could see how he was also looking at the beautifully decorated sky in awe, how his hair perfectly falls on his forehead, his subtle smile as he takes in the beautiful view.

you could feel as your heart skipped a beat. there were 2 beautiful views in front of you. obviously one being the sky and the other..

"it's beautiful, isn't it?" he said and he turned to face you, forming eye contact. your heart started palpitating faster than you wanted it to, and you started to feel nervous. you wanted to turn away, but for some reason, you just couldn't. a small part of you wished that he felt the same way, and that he felt as nervous as you right now.

you simply flashed him a small grin, "it really is".

both of you continue to stare at each other, the weight of the air starting to grow heavy. the way his eyes flickered to your lips didn't go unnoticed, and you started to feel excited, eager, thrilled. you didn't know what was going to happen, but you felt like something was going to happen.

he suddenly brought his hand up beside your face, tucking a fringe behind your ear as he continued to gaze intensely at you. you laughed, "what's with this, hm?".

"i don't know.." he said, "you just look especially beautiful tonight."

your heart almost felt like it wanted to jump out of your chest, and you could feel blushing to your cheeks. so many thoughts were going through your mind, and it intensified esepcially when his gaze was now on your lips and that he was leaning in closer.

without realising, you also started to lean in closer, but at the corner of your eye, you saw a light and luminous streak flying across the sky and your head shoots up. your eyes follow it and Jungwon, who was secretly disappointed you had looked away, followed your gaze and saw the same thing.

"Won! a shooting star! make a wish!" you hurriedly said, shooting your head downwards and closing your eyes and placing your palms together, making a wish.

i wish that i'll experience the rest of my life with Jungwon.

once you were done with your wish, you slowly opened your eyes and you were met with a Jungwon who was also closing his eyes in a praying stance as he also makes a wish. once he was done, he looked back up at you and gave you a smile that never failed to make you melt.

"what did you wish for?" he asked, his voice soft. "heheh, if i tell you it won't come true!"

he shook his head and smiled at your playfulness.

"you wanna know what i wished for?"

his question made your heart skip a beat, "...yeah, sure."

"i wished that you would know how beautiful, gorgeous, ethereal and amazing you look right now," he confessed. your eyes widen at how honest he was being, but you weren't complaining.

you laughed, tucking a hair behind your ear as you look away. "is that so? you couldn't resist my charms, hm?" you joked and he looked at you in awe, his head tilted as he watched your every move.

"i really couldn't," he admitted. "if it makes you happy, i wished that i'd spend the rest of my life with you,"

now it was his turn to be shocked — he straightened his back, his eyes slightly widen and his jaw subtly dropped. after a few seconds, he recovered and tried to act cool with it.

"dang, but as what though? as like, friends?" he teased, clearly knowing the answer.

"i don't mind," you played right back at him and he immediately placed his hand over yours, "i hope you know i mind though".

"then aren't you gunna do something about it?" you shrugged, raising your eyebrows and he rolled his eyes.

"am i? like, ask you to be my girlfriend or something?" he continued to playfully banter with you, both of you knowing where this conversation was heading.

"maybe exactly that," you giggle. his smile widened and he began to caress your hand with his thumb.

"will you take me as your boyfriend, Y/N?" he finally shot the question, and it felt as if all the tension inside you has been released. you released the breath you didnt realise you were holding.

you hummed, pretending to be in thought, "are you seriously worthy of being my boyfriend? after you dragged me in the middle of nowhere without telling me a single clue as to why we were coming here?".

his playful demeanor never faltered, "oh i am soo sorry for wanting to surprise you". you stuck your tongue out at him and he simply laughed at your antics.

you defended yourself, "could've said something, y'know?!".

"let's go see the stars right now, Y/N" "a little bit too late now don't you think?!"

you both playfully bantered for a while, feeling like there was nothing else other than the two of you under the beautiful sky and laughter only filled the atmosphere.

the gentle breeze blew in the air, slowly blowing your hair. "okay," you finally responded.

"okay to what?" Jungwon questioned, wanting you to say it fully.

"i accept you," "accept me to what?" "i accept you to be my boyfriend"

he clenched his fist and shook his arm in triumph, immediately pulling you to a hug afterwards. upon pulling back, he placed his lips on yours. the connection was so sudden and unexpected to the point your mind went completely blank. he cupped your jaw to tilt your head slightly, and since you weren't moving, he lightly tapped your cheek with his thumb and you immediately responded, closing your eyes and continuing the kiss.

the kiss was slow, rhythmic and passionate. his lips that you were so desperate to claim was finally yours, and it felt so right on yours. he complemented you so well, and your hands snaked up to his hair, lightly tugging on his locks as you two got deeply immersed into the kiss. his mouth moved against yours so perfectly, the pace matching yours so well. you were getting so drunk on him — the way your thoughts were all about him, the way your hands were desperately pushing his face to yours for closer proximity and the way you inhaled his sweet scent.

he slowly pulled back, both of you panting as you both try to catch your breaths, your foreheads resting on each other and you both stared into each other's eyes.

"you're so annoying, y'know that?" you spat out, feeling shy. "too bad, you're gunna have to deal with it for the rest of your life."

[whoskimii]

PLEASE WRITE SOMETHING WITH YUTA, ANY IDEA YOU HAVE

AND MY LIFE WILL BE YOURS

your writing is AMAZING tho omg

thanks for the compliment my love <33 hope you're gonna like it!!

⋆౨ৎ˚ notes > yuuta x tou. it's the pretty boy's birthday :)) you guys are so cute frfr <33 tell me if i missed anything!! ^^ ౨ৎ warning : you may have butterflies in your belly while reading this!! 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

yuuta was sleeping soundly, soft breaths and snores leaving his lips. some strands of his dark, disheveled hair fell over his closed eyes.

he was cuddled up with your pillow and your comforting scent was filling his nostrils even though he was unconscious.

he had been sleeping for a while now. you were almost becoming impatient, wondering when his pretty, sleepy eyes would eventually open. but it didn't happen. not yet, at least.

you glanced at the screen of your phone, the light of it lighting up your pretty face. the date written on your device made you feel giddy. march 7th. your boyfriend's birthday.

you had been bothering him for weeks, asking him what he desired for his special day but he always dismissed your questions with a simple, sheepish wave of his hand. "i don't want anything," he kept telling you. his words never changed. "i already have you. that's the most beautiful gift i could ever get."

of course, his words would always make your heart melt but you weren't satisfied with the answer. you still wanted to give him a gift for his birthday.

as you glanced back at yuuta, who was still peacefully asleep, a soft sigh escaped you. you were definitely impatient, now. you couldn't wait for him to wake up.

however, a small part of you was anxious. you had a gift but you didn't know if he'd like it. it wasn't a big gift.

your boyfriend had been repeating the same thing for weeks. that he didn't want anything. but your stubborn little ass decided to still give him a birthday present.

as yuuta's eyes fluttered open, your heart skipped a beat. you checked the time. 8:39.

he sat up, the morning sun entering the cozy room by the window. he seemed a bit lost as the tendrils of sleep still clung onto him. "baby...?" he called out for you quietly, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles.

you smiled softly and crawled on the bed, kissing his cheek. "hey," you whispered. "how did the birthday boy sleep ?" as he registered your words, his sleepy eyes widened a bit. he forgot that it was his birthday.

he smiled sheepishly and kissed your cheek in return. "ah... slept good..." he mumbled. "wait here." you instructed. you rummaged through the drawers of the nightstand and pulled out a letter.

your boyfriend watched you with a small smile. "here," you sat beside him. "read it." yuuta took it carefully and began reading out loud.

at the end of the letter, a small blush had formed on his cheeks. "i know it's nothing but—" you didn't finish your sentence as yuuta kissed you. you giggled into the kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck. "it's everything," he corrected against your lips. "i love it. thank you, sweetheart."

you smiled and gently rubbed your nose with his in a playful banter. "happy birthday, yuuta."

he wished that everyday would be his birthday.

like imagining celebrating his birthday like that im melting :((

⋆˚࿔ kimi 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

[wonijinjin]

can’t get enough

author’s note: this fic is part of the 200 followers event, go check it out!:)

synopsis: you might think you are too clingy, but jeonghan can’t get enough of you.

word count: 0.7k | genre: fluff, bit of comfort | pairing: jeonghan x gn! reader | warnings: none

“hello angel. what’s up?” jeonghan’s voice echoed in the phone, shushing the boys in the background while waiting for your answer. “hello, are you here?” he questioned again, not hearing your voice, only silence. “actually, nevermind. have fun!” you whispered into the device, hoping to mask the sadness hidden in your words. “i know something is wrong. please tell me?” he stated in a serious tone, knowing how you were not telling him something you wanted to. “i miss you.” you admitted. he could hear the sleep in your voice, waiting for him to come home; they were on their monthly outing with the boys, the time already pressing 2am. “i know angel, i miss you too.” he answered with a sad tone. “but don’t get me wrong i love how you spend time with the boys baby. you should.” you quickly added, scared that he might think you were chaining him to yourself. “don’t lie. you hate it. you love it more when you are here too, don’t you, angel?” he giggled, knowing how much you adored his best friends. “i will come home soon, we are just finishing up.” you smiled softly at his reply, he always listened to your worries so well, dealing with you being clingy on a daily basis. you felt kind of bad about your constant nagging, but you couldn’t help it; you missed him the moment he stepped out of the apartment. “i’m gonna go guys!” he shouted to whom you believed were the other members as you could hear the creaking of his chair. “see you soon angel.” he hung with that, leaving you in silence again.

“i’m home!” jeonghan shouted into the distance, hoping you didn’t fall asleep and he didn’t wake you up if you did. he walked to the kitchen, seeing you baking something; it was common for you to bake when bored or stressed, he knew you were anxious about him getting home safely at this hour in the night. “hmmm, what are you baking this time, pretty?” he questioned while letting out a soft hum of approval upon smelling the sweet aroma in the air. “take a guess. it is one of your favourites.” you said while turning around to smear some of the frosting on his nose. “hey! i rush home to you and you put frosting on me?” he raised a brow, but you could see the grin hiding in the corner of his mouth. however your smile disappeared; the feeling of guilt not dying down even after making his favourite cookies. “im sorry i pushed you to come home sooner. i shouldn’t have.” you whispered with a frown. he quickly took on a serious and worried expression. “no no angel i would’ve left them not long after anyways. please don’t apologise. i get it, you worry about me.” he replied while tasting the cream on his nose. “by the way this is delicious as always.” he chuckled, seeing how your face lit up at his compliment. “are you sure you didn’t mind? i don’t want to be pushy or anything, i just love you too much, hannie.” he pulled you into his embrace, slotting your lips into a slow kiss. “of course i didn’t baby. i missed you too actually, these are so much more fun when you are there.” he said while hugging you tightly. you still looked puzzled so he asked you; “what is going on in your pretty little head?” you sighed. “i don’t know, i feel like i’m too much, like too clingy, you know? am i? answer honestly yoon jeonghan!” you threatened with the spoon in your hand, to which a giggle bubbled in his throat. “you are not. baby you are too little even. i cannot get enough of you, if i could i would carry you around in a backpack all the time like a little kitten.” he grinned, kissing your now red cheeks. “okay then, i believe you.” you smiled “but hey, i’m not a pet though!” he picked you up and spun you around in the kitchen, putting you on the countertop, looking right into your eyes, his own sparkling maybe from the wine he had earlier, maybe from being so in love with you. “of course you are not a pet. you are my angel, my princess my everything.”