#im almost drooling thinking about eating the rest of it lmao

[yosh-iro]

homemade bread is so fucking good

[subskz]

RIN RIN RIN RIN RINRINRINRINRINRIN I’VE GOT AN IDEA AND IM RUNNING TO U WITH IT

okay so i was on tiktok and i came across this trend: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CMJbGa/ and it’s just basically these glasses that can record videos up to a minute which i thought was pretty cool

and then those glasses reminded me of the glasses hannie wore here: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8CMDRcq/

i 100% believe that this man is able to nut under a minute so imagine him sending you a video of him jerking off in front of a mirror and using the glasses to record

he’s holding the hem of his hoodie in his mouth, soaking the fabric with his drool, his chest on full display as one hand reaches up to rub at his sensitive nipple

and he’s sitting there on the floor with his legs spread wide open so you can get a good view of his other hand fisting his cock like there’s no tomorrow

seriously, this man is going at sonic speed. he’s stopping occasionally to rub at his tip and then he’s back to beating his meat

he’s gonna be looking at himself in the mirror so you can view him fully when he sends you the vid! 1000% gonna get embarrassed and his cheeks are 1000% gonna flare up

however he might throw his head back a couple of times because it just feels too good so you’ll get a few seconds of him filming the ceiling lmao and once his head is back down his glasses are gonna be a lil crooked so expect the rest of the video to be a lil tilted

despite his hoodie being in his mouth, this man is still gonna be loud as hell (quick! act surprised!) ten seconds in and he’s already dropping it to let out the filthiest noises ever heard by mankind

when he’s close, expect a few shots of the camera pointing downwards at his dick while he starts leaking like a faucet—he might even start slapping it and you can hear his moans become filthier and you can see his thighs snap close (don’t worry he likes showing himself off to you so he’ll open them again in 0.2 seconds)

and when he’s cumming, you probably won’t even see him bc he’ll probably lurch forward so much that his glasses fall BUT if you do see it, i guarantee you he’s probably doing an ahegao face (thinking about this post right here.. https://www.tumblr.com/subskz/728568079429320704/you-talked-about-skz-ahegaos-just-a-little-while)

you probably will only see it for like 2 seconds bc i’m so certain he’s gonna drop the damn glasses LMAO so be prepared to slow down the video to catch it

if you’re lucky, the glasses may fall and face him so you can see the cum spurt all over his hoodie and his hand. if you’re not so lucky, you’ll probably get a cute shot of his toes curling as he orgasms. and if you’re just unlucky, you’ll get a shot of just a wall—but hey, his moans are filthy and loud enough to make up for it

and at the end of the video, you’ll get a cute shot of him picking the glasses back up and a very close video of his cute round eyes and confused furrowed brows as he tries to figure out how to turn it off

and maybe next time, you’ll get a video of him fingering himself and fucking a dildo in and out of his ass (a big pink and sparkly dildo that vibrates ofc)

link ♡

my god 😵‍💫 ur mind is a powerful place hehe thank you for bringing this 5 star meal to me i’m eating it all up 🍽

hannie can so cum in under a minute esp when he’s getting off alone, he’s allowed to be as desperate as he wants <3 he goes so fast and hard it’s almost animalistic, there’s nothing getting between him and his pleasure and the only thing occupying his empty lil head is how badly he needs to cum (and maybe he imagines the sound of your voice laughing at him and calling him pathetic for finishing so fast)

the camera accidentally filming the ceiling and the floor bc he’s so busy thrashing his head around is so hannie 😭 he tries his best to hold eye contact in the mirror, and when he looks directly into his own doe eyes reflected back it him while he touches himself it’s the hottest sight you’ve ever seen…but it’s not long before he either gets too shy to look at himself or he’s just way too lost in the pleasure to focus anymore. the way his view flies all over the place from the mirror to the ceiling to his dick is oddly endearing though so you don’t mind, it just shows you how good your baby’s feeling ♡

ofc it’s not hannie jerking off if he doesn’t have his hoodie pulled up between his teeth bc he knows how crazy it makes you (that and, he was probably in too much of a rush to fully take it off) i can definitely see him accidentally dropping it a few times too bc his jaw goes completely slack to let out the filthiest moans, and he looks so cute fumbling w the hem trying to pull it back up and take it into his drooling mouth again. after all, he still wants to show off his pretty body to you, esp the irresistible view of his stomach clenching from his orgasm w his cum splattered all over it <3

[beomglocks]

three’s a crowd ; h.k & k.th

summary : just you and your two boyfriends

pairing : bf!taehyun x bf!hyuka x reader

warnings & other : requested, fluff, idk much abt poly relationships other than there’s more than two people, sorry if this is bad LMAO, tyunning best boyfies, sleepy kai

you groan, rolling over only to find that you couldn't actually do that. had it always been like this? maybe not, you think to yourself. you groan once again and try to force your body to roll onto the right side of your bed but a firm hand kept you in place. already this early in the morning you couldn't have what you want.

"you're gonna wake him up," someone whispers softly. you peel open your eyes which are heavy with sleep and are lowkey protesting for you not to do that. you wonder for a moment if rolling over was worth slightly waking up for, however whoever was awake knew you were awake too now. maybe next time, you suppose. it would've been nice to sleep comfortably last night but it felt like you hadn't slept in ages and you can only guess why that is. the bed was cramped, and hot, and goddamn, someone had turned off the aircon in the middle of the night!

when you look up, one out of two of your boyfriends, taehyun, is already sitting up against the headboard, completely awake. his head is perched up against the headboard and in his hands is his phone. "were you awake this whole time?" you ask him. your voice is raspy and sounds gross as you prefer to not speak as soon as you wake up but you're curious. though it's true that he was the early bird among you three it was still fairly early for him to be awake.

"i woke up an hour ago plus the bed is too stuffy," he says looking down at you staring up at him. so he had felt it as well, nice to know you weren't the only one who slept uncomfortably. "well.." you let your words drift off into the air as you turn to the other boy who is completely unconscious on the bed. his mouth is slightly open and you swear you can see drool threatening to slip out of his mouth. his curly hair is messily strewn all over the place and in his clutches is a plushie you or taehyun had once gifted him for a birthday, you don't remember.

what a sight, you think to yourself. huening kai, ever the dreamy sleeper. he looks peaceful despite the contrast of how absolutely petrified he was at the sight of the haunted doll, annabelle, in the movie you all watched last night.

taehyun shakes his head with a smile on his face, "it's not like i suggested watching literally anything else." you make a movement that you think could pass off as a shrug but you don't think taehyun can tell. "he said he could handle it and you know i can't say no to our baby."

you move around on the bed for a moment to find a comfortable position to speak to him in without disturbing kai. "plus we all got to cuddle for once, even though it was hot as hell last night," you mumble.

"sacrifices were made," taehyun mumbles. he sets his phone down on the bed beside you and rubs your head in what you think is an affectionate way but he's been working out and it hurts. "ouch," you grumble, deciding to stick by hueningkais still asleep frame.

the moment you cuddle up to kai who is facing away from you, he turns over so that you're both face to face. you don't think he realizes so you just kiss the tip of his nose lightly. "breakfast?" taehyun suddenly asks. you think to yourself for a moment. it sounds tempting to go help taehyun with whatever he plans on making for the three of you to consume however, the bed is just too comfortable. despite it being hot, kai's body heat is a type of hot that doesn't make you uncomfortable.

"can you go make it? i wanna be here when he wakes up so he doesn't think we abandoned him after the movie." kai can be a bit tender after scary movies. the whole reason why you and taehyun hadn't slept well was that, for no other underlying reason at all, kai suddenly wanted all three of you to cuddle on the bed.

it was a cute idea that you agreed to and although taehyun was reluctant, he too agreed to the proposal.

you move your boyfriends hair away from his peaceful looking face and you watch as his nose scrunches up but soon goes back to normal after a couple of seconds.

"we also need a bigger bed," you mumble randomly. you hear taehyun snort a laugh behind you, "when we first moved in, the first thing i pointed out was how tiny the bed was." he crosses his arms over his chest and decides to watch you play with kai's hair.

you turn over with a playful frown on your face, "im not the one who had a growth spurt! the bed was fine back then." you feel hueningkai stir beside you and suddenly his gravelly morning voice is rumbling through your ear.

"bunk beds?" he mumbles with his eyes still closed and a lopsided smile on his face. you tug on a piece on his hair when he situates his body to lounge over both yours and taehyun's like free real estate. "hell no," you both say in unison, protesting the idea.

"im going back to sleep," kai grumbles with a slight roll of his eyes. taehyun pats the other boys hair, soothing out the stray bed hairs that are sticking out. "what do you want to eat?" taehyun asks, getting up from the bed and stretching out his limbs. "make pancakes," you suggest. thankfully, hueningkai is fast asleep once again so he can't protest to the food choice.

taehyun nods, walking away to the kitchen. you decide to stay and run your hands lightly up and down your boyfriend's back. his slow breaths are lulling you back to sleep too but you fight to stay awake. if you fall back asleep you know you both won't wake up until late in the afternoon and that just won't do because kai has to finish the errands he didn't finish yesterday.

you get up from the bed, making sure not to wake kai up, which somehow you manage to do successfully. you make a mental note that he sleeps like a baby after scary movies.

you walk into the kitchen and see taehyun preparing the ingredients for pancakes. he lets you watch him for a while until you go up to him and insist on clinging to him, something he can't and won't protest against.

about 15 minutes into making pancakes, hueningkai straggles into the kitchen. you snort out a laugh at his appearance. his tall frame is leaning forward, the first indication that he's still half asleep. the second is his pouty lips and closed eyes. his hair is sticking up in all different directions as he messes with it because he sees you staring at it.

"you left me," he scolds. "you were sleeping," you defend quickly. "i got hungry," you smile.

"whatever, they smell good," he yawns. "wanna taste?" taehyun asks, holding up a piece of a previously cooked pancake. "yes, me first!" you detach yourself from his back and stand in front of him so he can feed you. hueningkai sleepily walks over for his bite of food to taste after you.

"they're good," you both say. "of course they are, i made them," taehyun says proudly. you fight the urge to flick his head, "i helped." you mumble. "i don't doubt it at all," hueningkai pipes up. "they have a bit of your flavor."

"what the hell does that even mean?" you give him a weird look, waiting for him to elaborate. out of the corner of hit eye you see taehyun smile lazily at overhearing the early morning conversation. "god wait, i didn't mean it like that! im still half asleep for fucks sake," he raised his hands up and waves them.  "im going back to sleep," he announces.

as he starts sauntering off back to the room you detach from taehyun who seems to be almost done. "im still kind of tired too... come join when you're done," you give him a chaste kiss as you walk away from him.

taehyun sighs to himself as he finishes up the rest of the food.

just another day.

[yoichichi]

Bunny’s 200 follower event

request: omg hey babe i’m so excited- can i pls get one matchup from haikyuu and one from aot? whoever you think is best and not just bc you know how much i love asahi and hange lmaooo okay so i’m bisexual with a preference for females! i am an infp and a scorpio sun, leo moon, and gemini rising (and a scorpio venus 😳). i love writing and dancing! i love kpop (i know 😔), more specifically girl groups! my favorite is the group “twice” and i would prefer to be with someone who will listen to it with me! and i’m passionate about politics and playing the violin and piano! i’m rather introverted, very intuitive, very empathetic, and and i am perceptive. (literally described my mbti i’m so sorry) i am rather awkward and can appreciate a partner who is strong where i lack. i think i would like someone who is self-assured and able to assure me despite my severe social anxiety. i would also like someone i could extend my protective tendencies to, someone who would let me take care of them. i love to cook, clean, and bake (when i’m not being forced to) and would love someone who would let me do those things for them. i’m a rather physically affectionate person and i would NOT be able to be with someone who couldn’t match my energy. if they don’t enjoy physical affection i couldn’t be with them. i would appreciate someone who could understand my need for validation and offer it without being overbearing. i’m family-oriented and am determined to build a strong, healthy family with a partner who shares the same values. i would also prefer to be with someone who can appreciate my cultures since they’re pretty big parts of who i am! i am agnostic and would prefer to be in a relationship with someone not overly religious because religion makes me uncomfortable :/ i also refuse to be with someone who does not share my progressive views. if they wouldn’t be wearing their mask over their noses and refusing to eat out during a pandemic i wouldn’t even look their way. i’ve never had a serious relationship before and would prefer someone who has been in one and understands that i need time to adapt to it. as for a physical description i’m a little on the heavier side, i’m mexican-japanese, 5’5, have pretty pale skin, and extremely dark brown hair and eyes. i have a pear shaped figure and dude i have like no tits at all. i’m wearing a b-cup rn and i don’t fill it i hate it here. i tend to wear dark colors in comfortable fashion and i prefer modern/androgynous fashion. my pronouns are she/they!

a/n: omg hi bae!!! ALSO PLS THE KPOP PART WAS SO FUNNY and these guys better watch out before I match you with myself bae 😏 okok teehee pls enjoy ❣️ anon! Also omg this took 5 years I’m so sorry I don’t have internet until the 12th so using my data is a struggle 😭 okok I hope you enjoy!

Reading your request, you have been matched with...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Mikasa Ackerman

LISTEN I think y’all would genuinely make such a good couple

Any of your interests she will sit and listen to you talk to them for literal hours and want to combust cause she thinks you look so fucking cute ranting about it it’s unreal

Sometimes you do have to take breaks ranting though cause she just wants a kiss so bad but she promises she’ll let you continue after a half hour of making out LMAO

Her favorite position to listen to you rant about k-drama is with your head laying in her lap while you look up at her so she can play with your hair and still see your face, and it makes it easier to steal a forehead kiss or too

Her second favorite though is when you’re ranting about work and you get particularly frustrated so she pulls you into her chest and runs her fingers down your back and the sides of your arms while you relax

If you can’t tell I strongly HC mikasa loves physical affection

I think its just easier for her to show you how much she cares through little gestures of affection - and she’s currently obsessed with the way your eyes close when she cups your face with both hands and rubs her thumbs across your cheeks so there’s that too LMAO

Massages‼️‼️

When you’re watching a movie and you rest your legs on her lap her hands just naturally start rubbing at your legs and if you get sleepy she just leans over and gives you a kiss on the cheek and carries you to bed and is so <3333333

Ok but she loves when she’s laying between your legs and her head rests on your chest and you play with her hair, like she’s out 5 minutes TOPS and she does drool a little but it’s ok cause she’s cute

Whenever you play the violin or piano in front of her she’s just so 😍😍😍like she will happily sit and watch you practice for hours cause she just loves how pretty you sound and how she can just feel your passion through the way you’re playing

Ok at first I think she’d have a hard time understanding why you take care of her like she’d come home and you’d have dinner already made and she’d just be 🧍🏻‍♀️...... w-what do you want from me LMAO

But I feel like she’d get use to it really fast and always appreciate the things you do for her

Now her heart gets so warm when she comes home and smells dryer sheets cause you did the laundry already, or if she hears the you blasting music she knows she’s probably gonna find you in the kitchen cooking dinner

Ok but Mikasa leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed and she’s just smirking and staring at you cook until you notice she’s there?

🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️ WHew

Omg she loves being your little taste tester while you cook and will sometimes just wait around the kitchen like 😶 until you offer her a bite and then she acts all surprised like 😯🤭 I mean ok 🤗

Ok ms quiet feet loves scaring you sorry LMAO

BUT ITS NEVER IN A teehee GOT YOU WAY

She just knows she walks quiet and she loves when she walks into a room you’re already in and you jump a little and clutch your chest she just thinks it’s the cutest thing ever

She’s one of the most appreciative people of you and adores everything about you 🖤🖤

Your vibe reminds me of...

Another suitable match for you would be...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Iwaizumi Hajime

No cause LISTEN

THis man sees you and his knees are WEAK

Idk what it is but I just know that you’re his type like

Smth about your androgynous dark fashion catches his eye

Like he deadass watches walk across whatever room you’re in like 👁👄👁 and it’s so obvious too and you’re sweating like 👀 what’s this mf WANT

And he’s a bold mf too

Straight up just goes up to you and asks for your number yes he’s getting really sweaty and definitely is stuttering and walks away feeling 🥴

But when you text him back he is so !!!!!

Okok onto the relationship sheesh

He is so patient and understanding with you it’s unreal

The type mf to make you think like,,, damn people like this exist?

The first date y’all go on he even asks if you’re ok with him holding your hand and when you say yes he literally smiles and goes “cool :)” and his hands are so warm and big compared to yours and he keeps your hand for most of the date after that lolol

Ok but listen

Y’all went to Walmart once to get some much needed groceries and this old guy wasn’t wearing his mask right, like it wasn’t covering his nose, and iwa just s t a r e d at him like 🧍🏻

And when the guy was like ???

He went “I’m just trying to figure out how stupid you must be to not know masks cover your nose, too. 😐.”

You had to get Iwa out of the aisle before he almost got into a literal physical altercation with an elderly man LMAO

But He was like :/ I’m sorry I was dramatic inside I just didn’t like it :/ once you got in the car and he was embarrassed so much for saying something to the guy ajsksdjwij

He lets you blast whatever you want on the aux when y’all are driving even if he hates what you’re playing 😭 and he would NEVER be caught dead admitting he doesn’t like what you’re playing cause you like it so much but sometimes a song comes on and he just shoots you a side look like 👀 oh nice nice LMAO

You made him breakfast once and he cried

Like he came out and you were dishing up his plate and he just went 😐😖🥲 t-thanks

He denies it to this day though

He lovvveesss making dinner with you

It’s his perfect destresser after a bad day :(((

He loves it when you fall asleep on him too like he naps with you on accident all the time cause he’s just so big and warm and when you fall asleep on him he gets so lovey and cozy that he just dozes off and at this point he just doesn’t care about his sleep schedule anymore 😭

He’s your big ol cuddle bug :)

Your vibe reminds me of...

ongomgomg im sorry this took so long 😭 I hope you like your pairings and I can’t wait to hear from you 🥺🤲🏼

And to everyone else waiting I’m finally able to start writing again but I still won’t have internet for almost another week so they might be pushed out slowly but I’m going as fast as I can 😭❣️

Love y’all!

-🐇out

[purrfectstrangers]

Another great story from Gamzanon! I dunno what I did to deserve to pot all their short stories, but I'm happy to bring you yet another~

As always, be aware this is vore and digestion heavy, so readers squeamish about that, catch a different one <3

Fanboy Bellies

(I'm so sorry for the delay. My muse for the Dave prompt just flat out died... so here's a Hiveswap story instead. It's my first time writing these characters, so I hope it satisfies~)

[You literally always satisfy, my dude ;3]

~

Zebede couldn't believe that this was really happening.

He was to attend a Cirava Hermod concert. Cirava. Hermod. The vaporwave legend that had defined a generation was going to appear live on stage. And he was going to be able to see them. It was almost, no, it was completely unbelievable. Zebede was practically vibrating where he stood. With his round shape and his black and yellow color scheme, he already looked like a bee. Now he almost sounded like one too.

A pair of grey fingers snapped impatiently in front of his face, dragging Zebede back into reality.

"♤Are you just going to stand there all night? I need you to pull your weight here!♤"

"i'm sorry. i spaced out."

Yes, that's right. He wasn't here to just to see Cirava.

You see, Cirava was an online musician. The only reason they were at a concert was because they were challenged to a rap battle by one Marvus Xoloto.

Such an event naturally attracted fans of all stripes, including one particularly obsessive blueblood. Both Zebruh and Zebede wanted to... meet their respective idols, so the two decided to hatch a plan. Or, rather, Zebruh dragged Zebede into his.

"♢Now, do you remember the plan?♢"

Even when crouching behind a wall, Zebruh was still a lot taller then the young yellowblood. Enough so that he could probably rest his head in between Zebede's horns in the right position. Zebede pulled a jar of bees out of his hoodie pocket, taking a deep, steadying breath as he tried to focus. 

"ok guyz. i need you to do me thiz one big favor." Zebede whispered into the jar. "please." With another steadying breath, Zebede pulled off the lid.

The loudly buzzing swarm flew off around the corner, leaving Zebruh and Zebede to watch as security noticed the cloud.

"Wha-what the Hell!"

The large purple guard shielding their face as the swarm clouded around their head, twitching and twisting hither, thither, and fro in a desperate attempt to keep the bees out of their eyes. "Dammit! Leave me alone!" The clown swung their club wildly in a vain attempt to keep the bugs out of their eyes. They ran off cussing and flailing as the swarm persisted in its assault.

The two Zs waited for the buzzing to fall out of earshot before commenting. 

"♧...I'm going to be honest... that shouldn't have worked.♧"

"you'd be suprised. they're pretty reliable."

The two stood up and approached the Staff Only door. That was it. The one obstacle between them and their idols.

"♡I suppose this is where we part ways.♡" Zebruh gave a big dramatic bow, making sure to adjust his bowtie along the way. "♡As a lowblood ally, it has been my honor to unite a yellow fellow with his idol. I do hope you keep this favor in mind in the future.♡"

If Zebede noticed the slightly sinister intone of his voice, he didn't say so. "oh, yez. i will. honest, thiz iz the nicest anyone'z been to me for a very long time." His face deflated and his smile fell. "...it'z also the longest anyone haz ever interacted with me in a long time, come to think of it."

Zebruh pushed the door open, dramatically ushering him inside. "♡When we meet up again, we can interact plenty.♡" He winked and, again, adjusted his bowtie. "♡Until then, I have a date with a popular, promiscuous purpleblood.♡"

As the two walked in separate directions through the backstage area, a telltale gurgle escaped their guts and echoed down the halls. It's not every day you get to meet a celebrity. They're not going to waste this opportunity~

~

Cirava exhaled another puff of smoke, their room positively flooding with polluted green air. The condensed heat threatened to cook them alive as it left their form drenched in sweat. They let out a long, satisfied sigh as the drugs filtered through their body. Yeah, that was the stuff. A good smoke always got their head in the game before a song.

The door creaking open didn't catch their attention, but sudden loud coughing did. Cirava rolled their head over to see a round little troll waving smoke out of his face as his coughed and wheezed. They just stared as Zebede got his barrings again, watching his eyes widen as the two made eye contact. "well you're not security".

Zebede nervously rubbed the back of his head as he dared to step closer, waving smoke out of his face again when he had to suppress a cough. The room's heat was making him sweat just as much as his nerves were as he cleared his throat. "um, hi? zebede tongza. i'm a big fan."

Zebede held out his hand timidly, which Cirava shook without any fan fare, leaving Zebede to stare at his hand in awe as they pulled back. "cirava hermod. but im guessing you knew that lmao."

Zebede's face slowly split into a grin. "yeah... yeah! it'z good to finally meet you." Cirava stood, popping their back as they casually stretched. 

"dont mention it. youre cool. had me a little worried when you showed up without a pass tho." Zebede looked away, either embarrassed or ashamed. Cirava was too busy fishing a piece of paper from their pocket to care. "here's your autograph." They said nonchalantly. Zebede grabbed their wrist instinctively.

Zebede's mind sputtured and spurred to a halt as he stared. 

Right there, on that small piece of paper, in a lowercase, golden font, was the Cirava Hermod's name.

Cirava Hermod's autograph.

Cirava Hermod is giving him their autograph.

Just as Zebede began to process that information, a scent crept into his nose.

A heavy, mouthwatering scent. A smell more intoxicating then the poisonous green smoke that surrounded him. 

It was Cirava's scent. And they smelled wonderful.

Zebede's stomach growled.

"hey are you gonna let go sometime soon?"

Zebede looked up. "oh. sorry." Zebede plucked the note out of Cirava's grasp before pocketing. Now, he held their hand in front of him like a nice big burger. "i swear i'm sorry about thiz, but... i can't pasz thiz opportunity up."

With that, he promptly shoved Cirava's hand into his maw.

Cirava tried to pull their hand out as Zebede slobered all over it, savoring their flavor. "what the fuck." Cirava tried to pry his mouth open, only for Zebede to grab his free hand and shovel it into his mouth. "alright seriously. let go!" Zebede was pulled out of his blissful stupor as Cirava continued to struggle and shout. He shrugged apologetically before grabbing them by the horns and pulling their entire head into his mouth. He could risk them attracting any guards, or else he'd take his time savoring their taste.

Cirava's horns bulged out his cheeks as they thrashed around back and forth. Their feet beat desperately against the floor as his tongue coated their face in golden saliva. Zebede almost moaned as their salty, sweaty flavor overloaded his taste buds. Their scent continued to drift directly into his nose, leaving him drooling around his thrashing meal. It wasn't long before he greedily shoveled Cirava's head down his throat.

Zebede was already so pudgy that you couldn't tell from the outside looking in that Cirava's hands had reached his gut. At most, you'd be able to hear their muffled yelling coming from his midsection, but Zebede didn't notice that either. He was too busy slobbering on Cirava's torso. Still, even as caught up in his gluttonous fever as he was, still tried to avoid loosening their binder.

Another swallow finally distended his gut a little bit. Cirava's head outlined in his ballooning gut as they continued to swear and scream. His gut gurgled eagerly as Zebede closed in on those limply kicking legs. It wouldn't be long now.

Zebede tilted his head backwords and slurped up those flailing limbs like noodles. His gut completely ballooned out as his entire meal fell into it at once, forcing a massive belch out of his mouth. Zebede's gut gurgled eagerly around his vainly struggling celebrity snack, giving him time to catch his breath. The air had sense cleared, the green smoke drifting out of the open doorway, allowing Zebede to hyperventilate as what he just did caught up with him.

"i... ate you." Zebede's eyes began to shine, his face splitting into a massive, ear-reaching grin. "i actually are you. thiz iz so cool!"

Zebede belched again, not even stopping to be embarrassed as he began massaging his thrashing gut. "you were do deliciouz and juicy and filling... thiz iz amzaing! you were everything i thought you'd be."

Even with his body weighed down by a stomach that nearly doubled him in size, Zebede managed to bounce up and down on the balls of his feet. "i've wanted to eat you for so long, ever sense i first saw you, and now, oh, thank you so much!"

Zebede pulled his gut into a tight hug, resting his head atop Cirava's. "thankz for everything. you've made me the happiest troll on alternia." 

If Cirava had any response to that, it was drowned out by Zebede's grumbling gut.

~

Marvus blinked as he examined himself in the mirror, carefully checking his face paint for any imperfections. It was something he took seriously, even with his laid back personality. His face was on billboards. He couldn't afford a smudge.

Even still, his laid back smile didn't drop as he heard his door creak open. "Zeb. Bro. Buddy. Didn't I tell u bout comin back here?" Zebruh froze in the doorway, hand instinctively grasping at his bowtie to steady himself. He took a deep breath before walking in. 

"♡Oh, come on, darling. If you'd only give me a chance I...♡" Zebruh paused as Marvus spun around in his chair. The clown's posture was relaxed. His face was perfectly calm. He still had that lazy, carefree smile on his face. It just mad his red eyes stand out that much more.

"Thought I made it clear I don't want u round here." Marvus stood up. His massive body towering a full head over Zebruh. "Thought we'd had dis convo bout thirty times now. Round thirty two or so?"

Zebruh backed up against the wall, about to open his mouth in protest when the singer unsheathed the sword from his cane. His chin was made to rest on the blade as Marvus leaned on over him. The body heat coming off of him was palpable and Zebruh could smell the sweat running down his skin, some of it trying and failing to seep out from under his paint. "Zeb. I'm gon give it to ya straight. I don't want ur blud on me. I just cleaned dis suit. I justabout got my paint on. And I don't wanna get my hair gunked up. So I'm gonna let ya turn round now, kay?"

Zebruh forced himself to meet those eyes as they bore into him. Everything about this was starting to drive him mad. The heat of his breath, the size of his body, and that sweet smell.

Zebruh's stomach growled.

Taking his silence as an affirmation, Marvus plopped himself back down in his seat, picking at his face in the mirror. Zebruh practically throttled his tie as his tried to catch his breath, blood pumping in his ears as his stomach roared once again.

He always wanted to eat Marvus. Ever sense he saw Marvus he'd want to eat him.

But that smell.

He could practically taste it.

Marvus didn't notice Zebruh approach him not until his chair swirled around and his vision was suddenly eclipsed by dark blue slime. Zebruh moaned as his tongue lavished the idol's face, smearing his facepaint as it mixed with his sweat on Zebruh's taste buds, creating an intoxicating flavor that left the blueblood drooling.

Zebruh could've tasted his head for hours... if Marvus's hands hadn't clamped onto his neck.

Laid back or not, Marvus was still a purple blood. A purple blood who had no more patience for Zebruh's shenanigans. Zebruh tried to pry his hands open, but it did nothing to deter the bigger, stronger clown as he stood up and squashed Codakk's windpipe.

In a moment of panic, Zebruh kneed Xoloto in the gut, knocking his grip loose long enough for Zebruh's maw to wrap around those broad shoulders. Zebruh moaned again as his tongue slid across Marvus's chest, coating his pecs in blue saliva.

Zebruh kicked Marvus's discarded cane aside as he saw the clown grope for it before swallowing again. His gut bulged out from under his suit, showing off the outline of Marvus's face for all to see as Zebruh savored his now helpless meal.

Zebruh swallowed again, leaving only Marvus's kicking legs free from his maw. He spun around and planted himself in the chair, tilting his head up to let gravity drag Marvus's ass across his tongue. He chewed and kneaded that taught bubble butt as it slipped into his throat, before casually slurping up those pesky flailing legs.

The ensuing belch was nearly loud and crass enough to shatter the mirror. Blue spit flew everywhere as the clown curled up inside his new home. Zebruh shamelessly moaned as he felt the struggles start up. "♡Darling. You tasted so much better then you had any right too." 

Zebruh spun around and admired his giant gut in the mirror. Following the outline of Marvus's struggles as his hands massaged his tightly wrapped form. "◇Now, I know this must be hard for you. But I can hardly call myself an ally if I don't treat castes equally. And I've eaten quite a few lowbloods in my day." Zebruh swiped Marvus's hat off the mirror and rested it over his eyes. He reclined the chair back and pat his gut again.

"♡Please, darling. Kick back. Relax. And enjoy your stay. I promise I'll take good care of you~♡"

~

Both Zebruh and Zebede enjoyed every second of digestion. Zebede simply couldn't stop gushing about Cirava's work while Zebruh smoothly soothed Marvus's every move.

This continued even as punches turned to pleads and anger melted into fear. Zebruh was always happy to hear his food beg. Zebede was just happy to listen to his idol at all. 

As the hours ticked by and the guts rounded out, the two Z's examined their gains. They flaunted their heavier behinds with pride and declared that they would never shed these pounds.

As the fanboys gathered their mementos, collected discarded laptops and canes, their guts gurgled eagerly.

They licked their lips and wondered if they'd see their fellow fanboy on the way out. Because they both had plenty of room for desert~

[huangfilms]

Roommate!Renjun

summary: my roommate left me to live with her bf so i put up an ad and i got a call from u and when u came over to check it out i didn’t expect u to be this cute-- you’re moving in tomorrow??? 

(A/N) OKay and I am back with yet,,, another renjun bulleted fic whatever,,, I Am Whipped I Know. But Anyway! It’s Saturday morning and I was thinking about this au for,,,the longest,, time,,,, someone send help LMAO this is my THIRD one and it hasn’t even been like,, a month im YELLING.  again, lets Pretend i have a good summary up there, i’m shit at summaries I Am So Sorry. also, She Is Not edited so cut me sum slacc sjdfhskdj

okay well lets get started binches

so,,, ur broke my dude

you USED to have a roommate but then she moved in with her bf NEXT DOOR

CAN U BELIEVE eve im looking at u, cannot believe u moved in w jaemin NEXT DOOR

anyway u cannot pay all of these bills by urself

and u posted an ad somewhere to get urself a new roomate

you get a call one day saying ‘is the offer still up for a roomate??

nd ur like,, haha yeah?? i mean u can come by like tomorrow to check out the place

and he goes Okay Sure

so he comes over and then U Are Like,,, deceased

cause he CUTE asf whomstve ya feel

and then u show this Cute Guy everything, the room across from yours, u guys share one bathroom

and then u ask when hes gonna move in, and he,,,,, HE SAYS “is tomorrow good? GREAT C U TOMORROW ROOMIE!!”

what just happened LMAO,, ur just like standing in ur small living room

and then theres a knock??? its been?? 2 minutes???

but then u open it,, oh its just ur neighbor jaemin

‘uhh,, why r u here’ LMAO

and then hes like,, why did a guy just come outta ur house

and u were like... im finding a new roomate since u STOLE MINE😤😤

and then he was like,, hes gonna b ur roommate?? like lol yes?? im 🅱️roke jaemin

and he gives u That Look and then leaves

wtf was that about???

so u start to clean up Aggressively and change the sheets in the guest bedroom

and then u even restock ur kitchen but with what money abby?? she broke

its just ramen and water, dont get TOO ahead of urself

so when u clean literally EVERYTHING u take a shower then flop onto ur bed

then u knock out cold man

u forget that ur getting a new roommate

SO U SIT UP SO FAST that u get dizzy

and its like 6 AM

and u GROAN bevause oh jeez its TOO EARLY FOR THIS

but bless your soul because right as u got up ur heard a knock at the door

why are they here so EARLY WTF

so u get up and rub the schleep out of your eyes

and u open the door

and u look like trash

ur hair: A MESS

i think theres like a drool trail near ur mouth

AND UR EYES POP OPEN WIDE AND THEN CLOSE THE DOOR IN PANIC

oh fuc

he still cute in d morning headass but anywho

AFTER U SMOOTHED DOWN UR HAIR AND WIPED THE DROOL OFF OF UR MOUTH

u opened the door slowly

‘sorry for slamming the door in ur face, kinda caught my heart me off gaurd, and i JUST noticed we never exchanged names, im Y/N’

and then u grimace because ur,, so,, awkward

all he does is Smile though

‘Renjun’

and then you realize ur staring at him bc u Didnt Let Him In Yet

RIGHT OKAY so

u let him in and he does his thing

ur just giving him a small run down of where everything is,, again

and then he says thanks or whatever

‘do you need help moving your things?’

and hes all like

OH no its ok i have a couple of friends helping me

right on cue U SEE JAEMIN and like,, two other guys u dont know Step Into Your Apartment

then jaemin gives you That Look Again

but u dont even care anymore, u tell them that ur going back to bed and the spare key is on his bed in his room

then u BREATHE REALLY HARD BECAUSE THIS CUTE BOY IS GOING TO BE UR ROOMMATE

and then u Sleep because who has The Time to think about this

not i

so u sleep for like an Hour before theres a knock at your bedroom door

and u want to Scream Because Youre Tired

So you get up again and open up the door and u see Renjun standing there with his hand awkwardly touching the back of his neck

and you just!! because he looks so cute!!!

‘Did you need something haha,,,,’

now its YOUR turn to have ur hand at the back of your neck

‘oh i was just gonna go get something to eat with Jaemin, Jeno, and Donghyuck, and I was wondering if you would like to come?’

you were speechles,, this Kid was So Nice wtf

so ur like, lol sure let me change real quicc

so u throw on pants and a sweater and then u leave, grabbing ur wallet and stuff,, when he see s ur wallet tho

‘oh you don’t need that, let me treat you since you let me move in’ then he Grins

and your heart: melted

so u go out to eat and meet his friends

then you guys go home

and neither of u are tired

so u guys just talk on the couch to get to know each other

so u both kinda,,,, fall asleep,,, on the couch together wow first day together and yall really b actin like a COUPLE

SO u guys have a great dynamic living together, and its been a few months,, u guys get closer and closer

it almost feels domestic in ur home WOW U HAVE A HOME WITH THIS GUY

so u notice that he been Looking At U some Kind Of Way

And You Look At Him That Way Too

but u guys have been dancing around each other FOR SO LONG GOSH DARNIT EVEN HIS FRIENDS ARE TELLING U GUYS TO SUCK IT UP AND KISS OR SOMETHING

anyway,, yall have sleepovers with the rest of dream since u guys have gotten close

the whole time u guys are Making Eyes oh my gosh JUST KISS

so u guys go into di kitchen and then grab snacks,,, next Thing U Know,,, THE POPCORN IS DONE!!!

im just kidding somehow u two like,, kissed,, wtfshdhdjdd and your heart: SPEEDY SONIC MF WISHES

then he pulls away AND HE HAS THE CUTEST GRIN EVER!!! THEN HE ASKS!!

“Will you be mine?” AND U GRIN SO MUCH THAT UR CHEEKS HURT OF COURSE U SAID YES!!!

then u two walk out with ur hands intertwined AND THEN THE DREAMIES ARE!! YELLING!! but not shocked lmao everyone been knew

so yall enjoy it,, i mean,,,,,, u guys been Living Together but anyway

life is Soft but nothing changed,, u guys just Cuddle More and Kiss More And Im Suffering wtf

but anyway!! end!! this! is! so! long!

Masterlist

[devoraakss]

Maybe for modern au...Drunk one night stand with Aveana and Lucio but HE gets attached and keeps finding excuses to visit her

this is going to be so fucking long oh my god i gOT CARRIED AWAY. Maybe i’ll start a series in a modern au centered around this? a whopping 2,585 words im fdgsf

Lucio was no stranger to one night stands. They were fun, simple, easy, chaotic. Everything that Lucio adored. It started like it always did, he had maybe a biiit too much to drink… but he was sober enough to have a coherent conversation and not come off as a total ass.  

He had seen her from across the bar. Like some kind of awful romantic comedy, he knew he had to get closer to her, talk to her– something! If he was lucky, take her home. Lucio knew he was a catch, he’d been flirting all night but… well, he hadn’t seen anyone quite as… eye-catching as she was.

A mess of dark brown hair tied up in a messy bun, pale skin speckled with so many freckles he could make constellations with them if he wanted… Her right arm is inked with intricate geometric designs and he can see the beginnings of another tattoo on her thigh, peeking out from under the hem of her short dress that hugged her hips so perfectly. Her body was sinfully curvy, with thighs that look like they could kill a man. she looked so soft and plump… He had to at least try to get a piece of that.

When he finally tears his eyes from the rest of her, he’s been caught. a startling pair of mismatched eyes are staring him down, and a teasing smile plays on her full lips. Well, if he didn’t move now he’d just look like a creep.

With relative ease, Lucio stands and strides over to where she sat at the bar, taking the empty seat beside her and offering her a charming smile. “You come here often?”

This… exquisite woman laughs, blessing his ears with her musical voice– He swears she looks more beautiful than he does… It must have been the alcohol.

“Classic conversation starter… maybe I do.”

Her voice is like silk, sending shivers down his spine and making him think of what else that mouth of hers can do… especially with those pouty lips.

“That’s odd, because I’ve never seen you before, and I know I’d remember a pretty face like yours.”

“Oh? you sound very sure of yourself.” She moves and her skirt slips a little higher up her legs and gods, what he wouldn’t give to have those thighs wrapped around his head– Lucio quickly looks away banishing those thoughts from his mind. The last thing he needed was to pop a stiffy in the middle of the crowded bar– though it would be interesting. He wasn’t interested in a quickie by the bathroom, he wanted so much more than that. To drag his hands over her curves, bruise her, mark her, have her screaming his name… Speaking of…

“If there’s one thing I have an abundance of it’s confidence, my dear… I don’t believe I caught your name.”

She gives him a look that is mildly amused, giving her drink a stir. “Aveana. and you are?”

Lucio grins, resting his elbow on the bar as he leaned a bit closer to her. “My name’s Lucio, Aveana.” He lets her name roll off his tongue in a sultry purr, and by the way her eyebrow arches at him, biting her bottom lip… She was as… interested in him as he was in her.

“What do you say we get out of here? I’m sure I can show you a good time, if you’re interested.”

Aveana laughs once again, finishing off her drink with a smile. “That sounds like an invitation if I’ve ever heard one.” 

Lucio can feel his heart racing in his chest, holy shit this was working? of course it was, she would have to be blind if she wasn’t interested in someone as enthralling as himself. “It was, are you coming with me, or am I going home lonely tonight?” Lucio teases, but he hopes to god she says yes. Being able to run his hands down those supple hips of hers… He just might be drooling a little. Aveana gives him a look that’s almost searing, incredible mismatched eyes gazing at him like he is the mouse and she is the cat. She stands from her seat at the bar, flagging down the bartender to pay for her drink and then turning back to him, a haughty smile on her lips. “Your place or mine?”

Lucio woke up with the hangover from hell, coupled with two sets of paws digging into his back. Mercedes and Melchior were barking up a storm, excitedly stepping all over him in their attempts to stir him from his sleep, which only served to make his head throb even more. His dogs still when they see he’s awake and they excitedly shove their cold snouts under the covers, the shock nearly making Lucio fall off the bed, but he manages to keep them at bay with his foot. “m’fuckin’ dogs… go away.”The dogs huff, but seeing as they are not  dragging their human out of bed anytime soon, scramble over him and run out the door to his bedroom, barking and snapping at each other.Bloodshot silver eyes flicker open, squinting angrily at the sunlight streaming in through the bedroom window of his penthouse. He huffs angrily, grabbing one of the satin red pillows and putting it over his head, trying to bury deeper into the sheets. He was almost back to sleep when his phone buzzed from where it sat haphazardly on his nightstand. With another irritated huff he reaches for his phone, feeling around before his hand closes around the device. He turns it on and winces at the brightness, quickly turning it down before squinting to read his notifications… A new text from Nadia– he had seventeen missed messages, and two missed calls… Damn… what time was it? He glares at the clock and groans. 2:30 pm. 

He had a lunch date with Nadia and he missed it. Well he didn’t want to go anyways but he always at least tried to make an effort. He sighs, quickly typing back a half-assed response to Nadia– ‘srry noddy 2 hungover to care lmao’ with a few emojis just to piss her off.The missed calls were both from Valerius, no doubt because Nadia had been furious he missed their engagement. Lucio shrugs and sets his phone back on the nightstand, content to go back to sleep before– There is a angry banging on his door, muffled voices reaching his ears. The sound makes Mercedes and Melchior go ballistic. Lucio snarls a few curses into the pillows, kicking the covers off himself like an angry child who was just told to get up for school. Pulling himself from the comfort of his bed he is suddenly struck by the fact that he was bare ass naked. This wasn’t too odd, though a quick look in the mirror reminded him of the… adventure he had the night before. Dark purple bruises are setting in on his neck, shoulders and chest, a quick glance at his back shows angry red scratches– and it all brings a shit eating grin to his face. It came back in blurs, but the more he remembered the faster it started coming back. Aveana. He didn’t bother looking for her, he figured she was long gone, but there was that small part of him, the silent disappointment that he likely wouldn’t see her ever again… another impatient bang at his front door drags him from his thoughts and he quickly fishes out a pair of sweatpants from the clothes piled on one of the couches in his room and tosses them on, hand coming to rub at his temple as he makes his way towards the door. “Fuckin’ hell I’m coming! good gods…” Lucio barks out, and Mercedes and Melchior race to the door, nearly tripping him as he reaches it. 

“Mercedes! Melchior! G– augh, Go away!” 

He shoos the dogs off, placing himself between them and the door to keep them from running out. He grumbles as he undoes the lock, cracking the door open to reveal a furious Nadia. Scarlet eyes bore into him but he can’t find it in himself to care how angry she was, returning her gaze with an unimpressed praise of his brow. “What did I do this time.” Nadia’s gaze is scorching, and not in the good way. “I know you don’t care about a lot of things but when we make plans to have lunch, with my parents, I expect you to arrive!! I can tolerate being a bit late but blowing it entirely? And making me look foolish?!”  

She shoves her way into the luxurious penthouse and he lets her, rolling his eyes as she passes– though he wasn’t expecting the shorter, white haired person that follows her. Asra is staring at his phone texting someone as he enters behind her, gaze flickering to look at Lucio with a disgusted scrunch of his nose, shaking his head with a sigh. “Nadia, I hate to say I told you so, buuut…” “Then don’t!” Nadia fumes, heading to the kitchen and grabbing one of Lucio’s favorite wines. Lucio makes a face, like he just bit into the worlds sourest lemon. 

“Sure, make yourselves right at home.” He comments flatly, glaring at Asra as he shuts the door behind them. His house was by no means fit for guests, and Lucio was only just now seeing the clothes strewn around the living area… were those his boxers on the counter?Nadia doesn’t seem to notice, not even bothering with a proper glass as she uncorks the bottle and takes a strong swig of it. “Aw, c’mon, Nadia that’s–” “Shut up! You don’t get to bitch about your wines! Do you know how long my sisters are going to hold this over my head!? ‘Oh, poor Nadi, can’t make her husband show up for a simple luncheon’ I’ll never hear the end of it,” she rounds on Lucio, pointing accusingly at him with one perfectly manicured fingernail.

“And it’s all. Your. Fault. Our relationship is for show but you kind of defeat it’s purpose when you don’t fucking show up!” 

Nadia collapses into one of the chairs at the island counter, steepling her fingers against her temple. Asra clicks his tongue, sliding into the seat beside her and propping his feet on the counter. “Gonna take a bit to fix that one, Lucio.” Lucio rolls his eyes again, willing to say just about anything to make them both go away. His hangover was making Nadia sound like a shrill harpy, and Asra was beginning to sound a lot like Camio…

 “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I forgot.” He begrudgingly apologizes, moving to rifle around in his medicine cabinet for something to soothe the ache in his head. “Convenient.” Nadia snaps back, but she doesn’t sound too mad anymore… she must have ranted most of her anger to Portia before coming over to chew him out. If it weren’t for both of their parents fixing up their relationship Nadia and Lucio wouldn’t even have to make an effort to be together– but alas. Here they were. Nadia makes a disgusted sound, and when Lucio turns around Nadia is glaring at a.. Thin piece of fabric draped over the table, the dark red lace a clear indicator that it wasn’t his. Lucio quickly grabs the underwear and tosses them somewhere in the living room– if he had any shame, he would be blushing, but the only thing on his face is that shit eating grin. “Sorry about that.” he remarks, grabbing a glass and filling it with water. “I cannot stand you.” Nadia fumes, taking another drink of wine and resting her head on the marble counter. Lucio chuckles, shrugging his shoulders. “So you’ve said before.” the next hour is Nadia ranting about what exactly transpired at this lunch, and the longer she talks the more Lucio is glad he missed the damned thing. The second the two of them leave he promptly passes out on the couch. 

Lucio spends the next few days making it up to Nadia, going to a brunch with both her parents and her sisters– it was painful to sit through. Especially when his thoughts were occupied with someone else. He couldn’t get Aveana off his mind, it was stupid and foolish but he was 100% sober and remembered every moment of them together. It was a simple one night stand, but he silently hoped that if he returned to that bar… he would see her again. This distracted state of mind led to many questions from Nadia’s family met with a confused ‘Huh?’ or ‘I’m sorry, what?’ Which served to make Nadia more flabbergasted, and afterwards Lucio made up some half-assed excuse about having another engagement to get away from her.A quick text to Valerius and he had a ride home, so that was taken care of.. in the mean time, maybe he could do some shopping– Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice the person in front of him until he walked right into them. A disgruntled ‘oof’ left Lucio’s mouth, his face screwing up in a displeased scowl, perfectly stylized brows drawing together. 

“Hey, watch where you’re–” His breath caught in his throat when he saw those familiar blue and gold eyes, expression going from a scowl to one of utter shock. “Lucio?!” Aveana looked just as startled, her voice cracking on his name, nearly dropping her phone in her hands.They both stare at each other for a few seconds– though to Lucio it seems like hours, and his heart is slamming against his ribcage. He knows exactly what she looks like under those clothes, the expanse of soft skin covered in gorgeous lines of ink, the freckles that dot over every inch of her. He knows how she feels beneath his hands, soft and perfect. He knows how she sounds when his lips are on her neck and– “Lucio, what the fuck” Asra’s voice shatters his thoughts and his expression is back to that scowl of his, silver eyes darting over to him. He’s so thrown he says the first thing that comes to his mind. “What are you gawking at?” Asra has his arm hooked through Aveana’s in a friendly manner which floors Lucio even more– Asra knew her! Asra knew her and all this time he could have– no, no, scratch that, Asra probably wouldn’t have told him even if he asked. “You’re the one gawking, goatshit–” “Asra.” Aveana gives him a hard jab in the side, cheeks bright red as she cuts her eyes at him. Asra makes a face, glancing at his friend. “Hold on, are you telling me you know him?” Lucio grins, folding his arms. “We do indeed know each other. I think I still have something of yours back at my apartment, too…” he remarks offhandedly, giving her a knowing look and watching the blush on her cheeks just spread.  

Asra opens his mouth to speak, but then he stops himself, eyes going wide. “Hold the fuck on, just a minute,” He’s sputtering now, violet eyes wide and accusing in Lucio’s direction.“Asra, we really should get back to Muriel, you know he doesn’t like staying in the food court by himself…” Aveana tries to interject but Asra is all out glaring at Lucio now, it was too late. “Those– on the counter?!– I cannot fucking believe you!” Asra’s abject horror only makes Lucio’s grin widen, which in turn makes Asra even more irritated. Aveana quickly pushes Asra towards the direction of the food court, offering Lucio a sheepish smile. 

“I’ll, uh… stop by your place later to grab that… thing..” She mutters, averting her gaze from him and tugging Asra off in the opposite direction. Lucio watches with an emboldened sense of glee forming in his chest. He had this little dove in his grasp again, and this time? He didn’t intend to let her go.

[thedappleddragon]

ok time for 2 days worth of journaling

yesterday I discovered that if I take half of a mini bagel (because the store was out of bagel things), put on cream cheese and a slice of salami, you can make a pretty good bagel bite. I talked with my dad for a while about college things when he came home from work and brought groceries. I also made a frozen chicken Laredo pasta thing for dinner and ended up sharing it with my mom. dad and I shared ideas for what to add to it next time to make it better. I started with chopping up spinach, because I know it shrinks a bunch and is easy to hide in stuff. I want to try adding a little salt, maybe some garlic and onion, parmesan cheese, more greens, a bunch of stuff. idk. I like pretending to be a chef. but I talked with my ad about what kind of stuff I'll need for college, and how I'll probably need to buy real clothes and makeup so I dont look like a goblin who’s been existing solely in basketball shorts and pajama pants for the past year in quarantine.that;s why I made that post last night about fun girly sleepover or simple-ass makeup tutorial. I tried washing my face with an Olay soap bar, and it left my skin feeling nice but idk how good/bad it actually is for your face since its meant to be a body bar. I real online that a plain dove bar is actually pretty damn good for your face, but Olay was the only thing I had on hand. whatever. i played a bunch of stardew valley as well

I slept like shit last night, waking up at like 4 am and all mr dreams being shades of muted grey and brown and broken up into blocks, idk. I've been having weird abstract dreams and sleeping like shit for the past couple days. I think that's partially what cause my head to spin all afternoon. whenever I moved my head, it felt like my ghost was lagging behind my body if that makes sense. it sucked but got better when I moved around. I had my dad bring me water and Tylenol and then come back a second time to light my candle because he smelled like cigarettes and left the smell in my room. but I realized it was April fools day when I woke up, and contemplated how I was gonna prank my friends. I didnt come up with anything until my sister sent a picture of a crashed white Volvo, saying she failed her driving test. when my mom showed me I didnt believe her for a second, and folded over laughing when my mom was concerned about if it was real or not. I stole that joke and showed it to my 2 friend groups, with panicked misspelled texts to go with it for *authenticity* lmao. both groups fell for it at first, but band friends taking longer to catch on so I had to tell them it was a prank. my gamer friend in the other chat caught me almost IMMEDIATLY with reverse google image searching. but I laughed my ass off for a while either way. I didnt play any stardew today but I did play a little Webkinz. when my sister came back from her driving test, my dad brought home Dairy Queen blizzards and mentioned getting a nice-is dinner takeout :) unfortunately I waited forever for him to bring home food and it never happened. so my sister and I went through the mcdonalds drive through and got served by this absolutely DELIGHTFUL middle aged man who was very nice and funny and I told him she just got her license today. we went home and ate in my sisters room and watched John mulaney’s new in town. I had never actually watched the full special, but through Tumblr memes and a million animatics, I had pretty much seen everything. I had fun tho. we got regular chicken sandwiches when we porobably should have gotten the deluxe ones with lettuce and tomato and source or just gone to Wendy’s. tbh Wendy’s is SO MUCH FUCNKIN BETTER. and the mcdonalds was more expensive than I thought it would be. whatever. if we had gone to Wendy’s, sure we would have gotten better burgers, but we wouldn't have seen that deightful man. anyway earlier today I gave my cat some catnip and she was really cute about it. do cats drool more when they’re high? cuz damn it sure felt like it when she was mashing her face into my hand.  for lunch I made a different pasta thing, this time shrimp lomeign. I added spinach and broccoli, which I'm going to do for now and forever because it SLAPPED but my mom was acting like a child, saying broccoli is gross. she had me make spaghetti and proceeded to eat 3 or 4 bowls. I had a couple and went to my room. I realize that I'm typing all this shit WAYYYYY out of order, sorry to me reading back in the future or anyone who bothers to read these. tbh why would you. I hope people dont have my talk tag blocked (thanks for coming to my ted talk) and instead have 2021 daily blocked if they dont want to see these. I still make funny posts sometimes!! that’s also what I tag my art with!! but neither of those people would be able to read this anyway so I'm just preaching to the choir. anyway you’ll be happy to know that my head is no longer spinning, my teeth are nice and clean, I've got my comfy socks and pajama pants on, and I’m ready for bed. eventually. it’s not even midnight yet lmao. I guess I can mention this morning when my cat yelled at me asking to go outside, but it was literally FREEZING and im 100% sure I saw some snowflakes while I was out there for a couple minutes. she got so cold she climbed up on my lap as I was wrapped in my childhood sleeping bag I found in the laundry room. I breathed warm air on her and sat out there for another minute or so, mostly insulated by the sleeping bag, but carried her inside eventually. I didnt want to have to deal with that shit. tbh even tho I just had mcdonalds and it’s almost midnight and I've already brushed my teeth, I'm still a little bit hungry. but I dont know it’s that’s just because I'm lying down and your body takes a little while to tell you when you’re full, or if it’s because I waited for SO LONG waiting for city barbecue or bento cafe that just a burger and fries wasn't enough to cut it. well I'll just sleep it off anyway. you know what’s really cute? my cat laid on my lap and rested her chin on my hand as I typed :) I love her