#im actually supposed to be studying biology right now

[undecidingfate]

The proscess of transforming from a normal girl into a magical girl causes the human body to stretch and warp itself in horrific and painful ways - this pain and physical trauma is offset by the tremendous amount of mana that is exuded from the body; however when this transformation is interupted it cancels the transformation prosces mid way leaving the girl stuck in a continously changing and growing form surrounded by unstable mana which together cause unbearable pain.

This can be reverted if another magical girl arrives on scene and directly shares their mana with the perpetually-transforming girl - however, such occurrences rarely happen as the pain and stress caused by the interrupted transformation almost always guarantees a complete loss of sanity after approximately 3 minutes of constant transforming without their natural mana protecting them.

The greatest challenge the ariving magical girl has to face when trying to provide aid to the magical girl who had their transformation canceled is the rapid sanity loss combined with the transforming girls' unstable form; the instability causes the transforming girl to behave more monster like than a human and behave both extremely violently and erattically, exceeding the normal magical girl limitations which is why the government has classified such instances as M-monsterification where once 3 minuites have passed the transforming magical girl is no longer considered a magical girl or human but as a monster.

These reasons are why whenever these instances occur (which are thankfully extremely rare) the girl undergoing M-monsterification is rarely ever saved and requires government assistance through nuclear and bio weapons to Euthanize the Monsterized girl

Ofcource, there were times where ariving magical girls tried to stop the euthanization proscess, however that only lead to more civilian casualties and destruction.

Research on interrupted transformations is still being conducted based on footage captured during the last M-monsterification instance 47 years ago, now with the help of AI video enhancers...

Only 2 instances of interrupted transformations have been recorded. However, geological evidence from all over the world suggests that a minimum of 150 instances have occurred in the past 1600 years

First time writing and sharing a oneshot on tumblr, what do you guys think? Any plot holes that I missed? Or Grammer/spelling mistakes

“And this is why you don’t attack a magical girl during her transformation.”

[grahstumhurts]

The stars aligned for us

Synopsis- Y/n had always had a crush on Sophia. this being Y/n's senior year, she had to make it count. Sophia, a untouchable goddess, in Y/ns eyes. Will it happen?

A/N - YES I KNOW ITS A CHEESY TITLE AND FIC, ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR TUMBLR OKAY. SUE ME IF I WANTED SOME CHEESY ROMANTIC SOPHIA CONTENT. This was not proof read so yeah

 Lara always complains about how I stare at her in the halls when she passes by with her flock. “Dude, its honestly sad how much time you spend a day staring at her and or thinking about her, when in all brutal truth, she probably doesn't give you a single thought.” Lara sighs, rubbing her forehead in frustration as she watches me get out my books for my AP biology class. “Its not that bad, okay. Trust me i've been worse.” I try defending myself, “Listen, Y/N At this point you might as well confess since it's almost the end of the year. Whats the worst that could happen? You get embarrassed, yes, But you won't ever see her again until the highschool reunion.” Lara tries to convince me for the Nth time this year. Senior year was supposed to be the year where I let loose. By the time senior spring had come and college applications were through, there had been one thing I had yet to do. I’ve known her for years. I mean everyone knows her at our school. She's everyone's dream girl, Untouchable you could say. Sophia Laforteza. I sigh, almost giving in this time, “No, I won't do it. Like i've said multiple times, she's an untouchable painting that, Good lord, I want to touch so bad” I close my locker, leaning against it, facing towards Lara. She gives me an unimpressed look. “You have AP Bio with her next right? So why not ask her to study sometime? I mean you are basically failing that class,girl.” I pause, I consider it, My brain algorithm approves. The bell rings for the next period. “why are you actually kinda smart, Lara.” I walk past her “Hey, woah what do you mean kinda, I legit just gave you the best idea ever” she yells at my passing figure as i jog off to mr bennetts classroom. “For the sake of my mental health I pray to Beyonce that this works.” Lara mumbles under her breath as she walks off to her class. 

Now you would think that the universe would be on my side. And you would be right. The stars have aligned as Lara would say, God forbid that girl ever not talk about stars and astrology the moment the conversation dies down. “Alright class, today i'm announcing your semester-long project for this class. This project will be starting today and will be ending by the end of the semester, so right around April we will present. Now this is a partner project” The class groans in disbelief, “Settle down. Now, I will be picking the partners-” The class erupts in boisterous anger at Mr bennett. “Calm down, Jesus, I'm retiring after this year. This project is going to be about whatever you want it to be. as long as it relates to biology.” He opens his laptop. “Now the partners will be…” he pauses reading the screen “Chloe and Marquise, Nickolas and Wendy, Y/N and Sophia” I note down these partnerships in my head just for reference, Wait. Are you fucking kidding me, its me and sophia? Now in hindsight you would think that maybe this is a class prank on me. I swear to fucking god i was about ready to explode, yean no not that kind of explode, the one where im the most anxious person on the god damn planet that we call fucking earth. Out of the 24 students in this class, other than me, there is a one in fucking 24 chance that i would be placed with her. Which i find is fucking ridiculous. “And thats it for partners, now if you could start planning your projects that would be great” Everyone shuffles around the room, trying to find their partner. I scramble to pick up my things when I drop my pencil case. I notice a manicured hand pick it up, i connect the hand to the arm, the arm to the body. Like the gorgeous goddess she is, she hands me my pencil case, Stupid fucking fish pencil case. “I like your pencil case, its pretty creative and unique” She comments, placing the fish on the table “thanks, my grandma got it for me so i've just been using it ever since.” I laugh uncomfortably. “What do you wanna do the project on?” I meekly ask her, I avoid all eye contact possible. She ponders for a moment, “I've always been kinda interested in how the weather contributes to moods, would that be something your okay with doing?”  “imokaywithdoingwhateveryouwant” I spit out, at possibly the pace of a marathon runner. She laughs to herself at my reaction “you're cute.” She mumbles. “Are you free this week to start the project or…” She drags off the end of the word to insinuate for me to answer, “i'm good for this week, maybe tomorrow? After school” “We can go over to your house? My siblings can be quite loud so i dont think that’ll be the best “study spot”” She physically puts those two words in quotations. Which wakes me up to the reality that i will be spending the rest of the semester with her, creating a project. “Sure, Im down.” I say a little too excited, I clear my throat. “Cool, cant wait” she says casually as she walks off to her desk to pack up. 

The first week went surprisingly well. I actually kept my cool and had a normal conversation with her. As the weeks grow, my feelings never really cut off for her. Instead, like a tumour, it grows. And so does my guilt. The project builds up a good amount of research, by the time its almost the end of the semester, March to be exact. The guilt, it flourishes inside me like a mouldy banana in the bottom of your bag. For all I know she could be straight. 

I hear the doorbell ring, I know its her. My mom answers the door, as per usual. lets her in, then she comes up the stairs and up to my room where the door is already open for her to come in. “Hey” she greets me “almost the end huh? I bought some snacks on the way here, I remember last week you mentioned sour skittles to me so I figured I could try them with you.” “you remembered?” “Yeah, why wouldn't i? We are friends right? I mean with all the time we have spent on this project, i assumed we are friends” she looks confused, almost hurt? “Are we not friends” “we are, yeah” I flusteredly responded, panicking at the seemingly wounded look. She cracks a smile “i'm just messing with you,” she knocks my shoulder against hers as she sits down on my bed. “I think there's a storm coming soon actually” she says opening the shopping bag with the seemingly endless amount of snacks in it. “Kinda ironic don't you think?” I say to her, We get to work for the next couple of hours, sprinkling in some goofy moments between the two of us. She ends up having to stay over, The storm inhibiting her ability to go home. I look out the window, the rain looks as if it will never end. “You ever danced in the rain?” She sits next to me, resting her head on my shoulder, observing the perspiration. “I did it once with an ex boyfriend of mine,” she adds to her previous comment. For some reason that last bit stung a little, like a scratch from a cat. “You had a boyfriend?” I ask genuinely curious. “I ended things with him since I figured out that i liked girls” “oh, i didnt know you liked girls.” I looked at her, Her hazel eyes looking back. “Do you like girls?” she questioned me. “Yeah, always have” I answered meekly. An idea came to me when she looked back out the window, I stood up. “Lets go out into the rain” I drag her closely behind me as we walk out the front door to my house, running out into the wet sky. I laugh at her standing confused in the doorway. “Dude come on” I actively try to convince her “you were the one that started talking about dancing in the rain” I open my mouth and let the almost salty droplets hit my tongue. “Eugh, dude, dont you know how disgusting rain water is” She runs out into the rain, fully embracing the uncomfortable wetness covering her body. I curtsy to her “Mi’ Lady would you care for a dance?” I say in a faux british accent. She giggles “Of course Mi’ Lady, a dance would be appreciated.” I bring her in, her waist in one hand and her own hand in the other. “Is this okay?” I yell over the sound of the water droplets hitting the ground. She nods, resting her head on my shoulder as we sway in the middle of the driveway. She looks up at me, searching my face for something. Looking down at my lips, then my eyes, then back at my lips again. “What?” I asked her “do i have something on my face?” She cups my cheeks, her warm thumb stroking my cheekbones. Before I can say another thing, she leans in, and kisses me. The Ivy that is guilt covering my heart slowly withers away, her hands leave my cheeks and caress the hair on the back of my neck. I pull her in closer, wrapping my arms around her body. A lightning crack makes us pull apart. “You seriously dont know how long ive been dreaming of this happening” I tuck my face into her soaking collar, she kisses my forehead. “How long?” she giggles, “1st grade, When i first moved here. And it trailed all the way here.” “damn i wasn't expecting that.” I blush. “Do you wanna be my girlfriend?” I call out over the rain. “Of course dumbass” She leans back in, coating my whole body in a warm honey feeling, The stars aligned for us to be.

[botanyshitposts]

is that why you think mammals have more than two sexes

idk if this was supposed to be like, a bizarre transphobic jab, but partially, actually. in biology very, very few things actually occur in binary groups; i prefer to imagine biological sex, as well as gender, by imagining two overlapping bell curves. there’s an average that we expect from gender and sex matching up at birth because most people will fall within the first quartile of the curves where all the most average genes were turned on and all the non-genetic factors surrounding that turn out in an average expected way, and there are more people who still are just as male or female but have different genes turned on and off or whatnot and wouldnt check every single box if like, The Chromosome Police showed up and made them do a cheek swab or whatever, and there are people who are intersex, which covers a wide range of different expressions of the genome.

but! we don’t have The Chromosome Police and we don’t need them, because we have gender to do this for us, which is something that has much more to do with a mix of genetic and sociological factors. in my opinion, gender makes it so that even if you’re a cis man who doesnt have like, idk penis gene #435 on the Y chromosome, youre still a man, and even if youre a woman who doesnt have vagina gene #874 turned on, youre still a woman. hell, some people go their entire lives without knowing that they have full extra chromosomes. it just....it just doesnt matter.

to expand on this, my theory is that gender serves the function of convenience more than like, a law or whatever; we have a system where there are usually a small set of things that happen as a result of a wide range of thousands of different things that turn off and on during development, and a lot of different moving parts are going on in that department that help mitigate disaster if one deletes itself or whatever, and not all those things are guaranteed to turn on or off, and as a result we’ve developed a system where regardless of whats in your pants- because anything could be there, honestly, evolution works in systems and as a result doesnt know or care- there’s a social thing that functions differently on another level thats more elastic, so no matter if you’re a woman who was born with one singular penis gene turned on or a woman who had a lot of them turn on, you both can kind of be in the same clump of ‘people who are this’. not ‘people who look like this’ or ‘people who do this thing’ or ‘people who have x combinations of chromosomes’, but ‘people who, for whatever multitude of reasons and results or relationships with themselves, are this way or another way or are existing successfully in some distant combination of ways’, and having those people around- if we follow this theory- apparently was not at all disastrous enough for evolution to pump the breaks and start killing people who never activated Penis And Vagina Gene #1456. in fact, trans people have been around as long as humans have, and that includes nonbinary people, intersex people, and cis people with different gender expressions. ancient societies had us around, there are just as many of us now as there always was, and biology just. it does not care.

think of all the things that go into a person. there is a whole lot of stuff that we do not understand. there are so many things that could change, or differ from individual to individual, and having a lot of moving parts like this with millions of different viable combinations of biological and environmental things works, because it means that the entire system doesnt break like a fucking twig if both a penis and a vagina gene turn on at the same time, or if little grog in the forest grows up hunting mammoths with his 8 moms and no dads in a nomadic tribe in prehistoric france. it also means that even if someone ends up as another combination, they dont immediately collapse into a heap of dust! great system, for the most part.

now, this is all contentious. first of all, this is my own set of theories on why this exists, and second of all i have complex feelings about the science surrounding this itself; as a biologist im fascinated, but as a trans queer person it’s terrifying. the reason this is is because there are two groups of people who want to learn things like this: people who actually want to study the details of human sex and gender, and people who want to find The Ultimate Queer Gene to ‘fix’ us forever, which like. as ive covered before. egregious moral, ethical, and basic human rights reasons aside. not something that actually would improve us as a species even if we did go to the farthest ends of the bell curves i mentioned and manage to transform the entire human race into two massive homogeneous supermale and superfemale groups with only the the most Epic And Extreme big dick and boob genes selected for (or, if were going off TERF logic, femurs of a bizarrely specific length or like, a skull shape or smth, you can see where this goes very quickly).

like. this shit is complicated. it is. sometimes, things in biology- especially when it comes to real people of our own species- are best left as enigmas, you know what im saying. but in the meantime, we can take estimates, we can say ‘we can make an educated guess about the biological sex of a skeleton by looking at their pelvis’, but we cant say ‘all cis women have femurs of exactly x cm, which is absolutely a normal and not creepy thing to obsess over’, and we cant say ‘all human beings are either male or female and that looks one of two ways’, because as we know from intersex people and all the other caveats in this subject, this is not true.

we can say with confidence that most human beings have a gender that matches what is average for their biological sex (which doesnt always define itself as the exact same set of characteristics to begin with) but not always, and most human beings have have a gender which falls vaguely under the umbrella of two vaguely defined existences, but not always, and most women have a femur length between x and x cm long, but women come in all shapes and sizes and therefore it isnt a good way to define what being a living breathing person of a particular circumstance means or looks like, holy shit, etc, and we can use this knowledge to make educated guesses about the world, but we can also use knowledge of what isn’t the majority of people to make educated guesses about what those guesses mean, and what roles they play (and hopefully will get some more rights in the meantime).

so yeah like. most people are one of two biological sexes, but its more complicated than ‘peepis or vagornio’, you feel.

[shitaholicshits]

My university decided to give us the first shocker of the year- they decided to reopen

I've been wanting to go back to college since last year but now, when my exam is like a month away I hoped I could stay home and study. But things never go my way. Obviously. So they decided to reopen college soon. We still haven't gotten an official notice but it's been out in the local newspaper and meme pages (and we all know meme pages are better sources than our news channels 🙃)

38 Days to go

In the last couple weeks of my study routine I realised how much potential I have and how I should have studied like this the whole year round and not 2 months before exam -_-

Biochemistry is almost over, with just a few topics under Proteins remaining, and Lipids!

Maths is being still a headache but better than physics, I don't think I'm doing physics. I'm better off without that bitch.

And we are left with some major topics under biology which includes biotech, microbio and genetics. Cell bio is over. But it's easy so I don't really consider that an achievement. Why am I like this.

Organic chemistry has been treating me good (please tell me I'm not the only one who loves organic chem, 'cause I have come across too many haters).

Inorganic- One piece of advice I'd like to give to all competitive exams aspirants who have to study chemistry, please please don't try to "understand" Inorganic. Yes we need to understand and learn and stuff. I know all of that believe me. But there are some (lots actually) concepts in inorganic that you just have to let it go. Just learn what the theory is stating and how you can apply it on compounds or whatever? And move on. Not everything is supposed to make sense. I might sound like I don't make sense, but that's exactly how inorganic is. For eg I was recently studying Ligand Group of Orbitals. It was an attempt to prove MOT right, because it wasn't possible to draw the Molecular orbital diagram for Polyatomic molecules. Now we don't know how exactly the atoms exist and behave all the time, so the Ligand group of orbitals don't make sense except in theory. We did experiments, and we came up with theories. So inorganic (basically the whole chemistry) is just conclusion based on experiments (that's why the hundred Different theories). So study, try to understand as much as you can, but don't poke it much. If you feel like you're not getting something, don't worry. The people who came up with the theory were probably high when they wrote it. So just move on.

Not really a huge fan of physical chem because it's basically math and i hate math. But it's also scoring and i am not lagging behind so we good :)

I know I'm not really regular with this blog but you know what? Idc. I like to blog but only when I feel like it. Most of the time is spent studying or watching office so I don't really get a chance to blog everyday (yea that's just a pathetic excuse I'm just extremely lazy). But HAH COLLEGE MIGHT REOPEN AND IM SUDDENLY VERY NERVOUS I HAVENT BEEN TO COLLEGE IN A YEAR AND IT FEELS SO WEIRD NOW? Idk.

[cybertronian-cupid]

HOOOOOO BOY HOWDY can't wait to see what you two can cook up! new blogs get me so excited ^~^ i've got sO MANY prompts and ideas but i don't want to flood y'all with anything, so lets start out with some lovin' on my main man ratchet? can be sfw or nsfw, im a whore for domestic or rough stuff ;)

[Ah, Ratchet! A good friend, an amazing lover, a doting dad, a bot of many talents!

We decided to go with TFP Ratchet since you didn't specify which one exactly ;3]

Most bots can control the amount of heat their frames produce, but medics are the most skilled in this department and can redirect the flow od heat anywhere they want/need to.

As such Ratchet can work wonders with his servos, since he can make them as warm as needed to ease any of the discomforts plaguing those around him.

Once he decides to actually study human anatomy (with June Darby being of great assistance), he opens a side buisness… It was supposed to be a secret hobby of sorts, but both June and anyone he helped insisted he should take at least some form of payment…

Raf made an ad for him, and this is what the fliers June gives out to anyone at the hospital who seems trustworthy.

.............................................................

"Are you suffering from back pains? Just your general discomforts from daily stress? How about cramps? Maybe from an old injury or a work accident? Any other problems that just aren't going away?

Well, take our hand and call RatchetsMagicHands on XXX-XXX-XXXX, to make an appointment!

Here are some reviews from our happy customers: (flip the flier, please and thank you)

"You're in good hands!" - June Darby

"Gotta hand it to the man, he knows how to help you when growth spurts hit" - Jack Darby

"Hands down, best massage you'll ever get!" - Miko Nadakai

"By Washingtons underpants, I haven't been able to dance Electric Slide since the 80s! This man put his hands on me, did a click, did a tap, and now I can slip, slide and jive like back in the good ol' days! - Will A. F.

"Grumpy, but puts the spring back in your step" - A. Cee

"I'd been recovering from some nasty stuff when I came to Ratchet. Thanks to him, I can walk and smash things just like before, if not better! Handy guy to have in your coms" - B. Head

.............................................................

He does have to start using a holoform at that time, because Fowler may dance like his younger self again, but there is no way the Pentagon would approve of an alien offering free treatments.

To say it was a love at first touch may sound kinky, but in all truth, once the two of you start dating, and later living together, he really shows you all those hands can do. ;)

And the first time you ask him if he'd like you to return the favour after helping you work out some tight knots in your back, he is a flustered mess. Ends up enjoying it very much though, and will get excited if you offer it again.

When he is comfortable enough to show you what he really looks like, that's when you two start doing biology and physiotherapy lessons in your bedroom. It did start out innocent enough, but if you push a few buttons, tug at some cables or jiggle a valve juuuust right... Then the lessons become very hands on~

[whendidibecomeobsessedwiththis]

Excuse Me?

Y/N Toyomitsu. 

17

Yellow eyes 

blonde hair

6′5

Quirk, Energy absorption 

“Wait wait wait go back say that again?” your brother said suddenly dead serious. 

“Huh? What?” you furrowed your brows. 

Your brother had moved to the big city, one of many of course, to do hero work. You naturally stayed home away from all of the noise, Of course your hometown had a hero school, it was small but you didn’t mind. 

“What did you say about your school?” he was trying to hold back his excitement he was bouncing in his office, he was just starting to rebuild his fat from his last big mission. Red Riot and Suneater were watching their boss. 

“Oh we’re doing work studies, i was thinking about studying with shadow man or-” 

“What are ya talkin’ about! you’re gonna do your work study with me? I’m your big brother I know your quirk! ‘sides that mama says you aren’t eating enough. This way I can be the ultimate big brother and show you what I do!” 

“Tai-Nii you can’t be serious!” you were laughing, not at your brother of course, but at the idea. 

“Hey don’t laugh at me! I’m sending for ya! we’re gonna be the best brother duo! I can’t wait for you to meet Riot and Suneater! you’re gonna love em!” 

You two talked a while longer before you had to hop off to go to bed. You didn’t take your brother seriously until you were standing in the lobby of his agency. 

The receptionist lifted her head looking at you. 

“Excuse me Miss, no bags allowed in here.”  She said coldly watching you as though you were some great annoyance in her life. You supposed if you had to work for your brother you might be annoyed too. 

“Uh Hi, I’m y/n Toyomitsu.” you started 

“Real name.” she demanded flatly. 

“I...I’m sorry what?” you managed an anxious laugh taking out your phone and dialed your brother unsure what you should do. 

“Do you think I’m an idiot?” she asked you laughing  you could hear your brothers muffled hello on the other end of the line but stayed silent. “You come in here with a duffle bag, claim you share the same last name as fatgum, and you give me a boys name when you are clearly a young woman.” 

“Actually I am a young man.” you corrected anxiety lacing every word. “I should be on his meeting li-” 

“listen here, MISS'' you cringed. with how much venom was in that spat out word. “I know what a young woman looks like,” you could hear a muffled  im on my way. “Fatgum isn’t entertaining any paparazzi or fan. especially a delusional one.” 

You wanted to fall into the floor. This was supposed to be a nice visit with your brother, your Tai-nii who you hadn’t seen in months. This was supposed to be you learning the ropes of being a hero with your brother. This was supposed to be a solid month of bonding with your big brother, not that you two weren’t close.  Here you were being treated like a criminal, being aggressively misgendered, and she seemed to think she was in the right. 

You understood some of it. You weren’t wearing your chest binder because you knew you two were going to be training. 

“Yeah but i do want to see my baby brother.” his voice was loud and proud as he walked towards you. 

“B-brother? Mr. Toyomitsu have you lost your sight? That’s-” 

“My little brother, Y/N Toyomitsu. and if you want to keep your job you won’t keep callin’ him a girl. If someone tells you they’re a man they’re a man, if someone tells you they’re a woman they’re a woman, if someone tells you any variation of that, demi-girl, demi-boy, trigender, nonbinary and so on, thats who they are you don’t get to make that decision. People are people and in this world the least we can do is offer someone the comfort of calling them by their name and pronouns. And no one better hit me with that prefered pronouns stuff because they aren’t prefered they are mandatory.” he huffed and you assumed your older brother was done, but he started again. “I mean you call me Fatgum, if you can call me by my silly, clearly had no other ideas, hero name then you can call my brother y/n.  Furthermore, had you looked at my schedule you would have seen that the whole day was cleared and is filled with the name y/n Toyomitsu. So not only did you make a scene, you didn’t even check the calendar to see if that name was on there. you were so busy using the biology you learned in middle school that you didn’t even think you were wasting valuable time.” 

The secretary looked pale listening to your brother talk, the interns you assumed waved to you from the stairs. Clearly not wanting to cross their bosses path right now. And he continued. 

“My brother literally traveled hours HOURS to be here. I haven't seen him in MONTHS and you made his first impression of my agency and transphobic one?  He is my family, I had him brought here to intern with me for his work study. He’s a young hero in training and you made him feel unwelcomed in his big brothers agency! I was hoping in today's day and age I wouldn’t have to screen my employees from homophobia and transphobia but I guess I am going to have to start. I mean, really? Really? Why do you even care what my brother goes by? Does it affect you?  You can leave for the day. And you will report for a Transgender Training and if i hear from anyone else that this has been an issue i will not hessitate to fire you. Now go.”

She nodded bowing and muttering an apology to you as she ran off out the door not even grabbing her purse. And you smiled at your brother holding back laughter. 

“Hi Tai-Nii.” you hugged him getting sucked in a little 

“And you,” he said firmly. “You need to start standing up for yourself, don’t you worry we have a whole month to work on that.”  

While the secretaries attitude was less than pleasant you now had it cemented in your heart, your brother was your biggest supporter and you were grateful

[silkylious]

Tfw you wanna be a physics major but there are so little job opportunities for that degree beyond just becoming an educator in your homeland, so you settle aiming for med school when you actually despise biology and its one of your weakest subjects + you're a female in a hella conservative, hyper masculine muslim society so you have an even lesser chance at pursuing what you're actually passionate about 😃

Long rant about education and job opportunities as a high school junior under the cut, because I am livid. Feel free to ignore.

Tl;dr:

Me: hey physics is pretty cool and I'm naturally good at it! :D I wanna be a physici-

Middle Eastern job market: No.

Me: w-wait wha- why? I don't understa-

Middle Eastern job market: No. ❤️

Me: *blinks*

Middle Eastern job market: 😊

This is honestly so out of left field, I didn't expect to be venting about this when I woke up this morning. It hasn't been lingering in my mind for a while or anything. It's just that today something weird happened.

I had fun answering my physics exam. Genuinely. Ffs it was a final, why the hell would I enjoy answering a final exam?? Something that I had been dreading for the past 24 hours suddenly made me realize just how much I love this subject, and how much I want to pursue it as a career.

But then I quickly realized that won't fucking happen. The excitement I got from finding something I was so wholly, passionately fond of, that I could turn into a career, rapidly dissipated when I remembered that there are no job opportunities for it here.

And like Im passionate about psychiatry too, but nowhere near the same level. My revelation that I want to pursue physics as a major only solidified the fact that I just settled for something that I would probably like, not something I'm authentically interested in.

And it's all because of this ongoing cycle of mediocrity. Mediocre government makes a mediocre education system that only focuses on mediocre, obligatory jobs (like engineering, accounting, medicine) and leaves no room for creative or research based jobs, which in turn pumps out mediocre employees who work for the same mediocre government and the cycle continues. It keeps going until you over saturate the job market with the same fucking jobs and unemployment booms (more than it already is) and watch your economy collapse from the inside out. We're reaching that point I feel.

There are so goddamn many humanitarians and educators flooding the job markets right now, that if you want a job that secures a good buck every month you have to turn to either medicine, engineering, accounting or law (it won't be long until those get over saturated too).

And what does that entail? Competition.

There is so much fucking competition to secure a place in a med school or an engineering school, and each year the bar raises higher and higher because of that. If you wanna secure your place in university, you have to make sure no one else outdoes you. And so overall averages continue to rise and rise until it becomes fucking ridiculous.

For example: 5 years ago my eldest brother graduated from high school with a 97.5% overall average (admittedly it's still very high), that landed him a comfortable spot taking a dentistry degree.

Last academic year, the threshold for entering one of the medical universities in Egypt was 100%, one hundred fucking percent. If you got a 99.9% average, nope, sorry bud you just didn't cut it. Try harder next time. Granted, last year was a bit of a special case with covid and exams being easier as such but that doesn't negate the point that because of the constant fear of not getting a useful degree that will secure a well-paying job, which so happens to be in a limited set of professions, students keep raising the overall averages each year. Which makes universities, who have a set number of seats, raise their entrance threshold as well.

Why should I have to get a 99.buttfuck percent to enter a decent college? what are these standards that we're setting? How much higher can we go?

And for what? The same damn jobs that people always pursue because the government is too incompetent to implement an educational system that promotes creativity and research, a government that is so codependent on other countries' goods, resources, scientific revelations because it's so flawed it can't even economically support itself? Let alone fund good education?

I fucking hate it here.

I just feel cheated at this point. I've already wasted so much of my teens doing nothing but studying because I don't wanna be left in the dust when I grow up, and it's all ultimately for nothing. Because is it even worth it? To lose countless hours of sleep, to basically murder your social life, to interact only with your family and textbooks, just to achieve a goal that was never truly yours to begin with?

And I feel a bit naive for not acknowledging this sooner. And I say acknowledge because I already knew, somewhere in the back of my mind I was aware of all of this. Anyone who lives here knows. I just never really contemplated what implications it would entail. But I suppose I never had a reason to, I mean I was convinced that I'd just go to med school, specialize in psychiatry and be all satisfied and happy, until I realized, today, that not what I really want. And maybe I didn't realize sooner because of all the conditioning this educational environment puts students through. Med school good good, other degree bad, literally all I heard from educators growing up. Fuck outta here.

End of rant I guess

[elsewhereuniversity]

Blood Iron

Running the numbers, if you used your own blood, you could have a simple ring made from your own blood’s iron in about three donations over the course of one semester. Sooner if you only use one pint’s worth and dilute it with other iron.

Iron is well known to protect on its own, but iron that once flowed through your veins?

That must be a powerful thing to carry with you.

It must be a powerful thing to give your friend. Your sibling. Your beloved.

Mustn’t it…?

It started simply enough. She was a chemist, and (to some extent) so was he. She had a thing for biology, he had more interest in metalworks.

(Don’t ask their names. They are safe from Elsewhere as it stands, but they will not tell you.)

A colleague ran the numbers one day out of boredom, for how much iron was in a pint of donated blood. She asked what you would even do with it, but a moment later, reconsidered.

A gift made from your own blood. Chemically speaking, how romantic!

That set off the question… could you actually do it?

That was when they made their first collaboration. They used blood samples that were no longer needed for study to refine the process, until they could recover 96% or more iron from any given sample. Far more then they anticipated.

The ring idea came from that colleague, who wanted a gift for his wife. They chose gemstones with his help, she took the blood and extracted the iron, and he forged them together.

The wife, apparently, loved it.

Word got around. Several teenagers dressed in dark colors came in, thinking it was sick or some other slang term to wear your own blood. A few romantics, as well. She had to put herself down for more time at the centrifuge, and he spent more time in the forge, but it wasn’t a problem. They didn’t just use blood iron, of course- that would require multiple pints’ worth. They diluted it, and told their clients as much. They were still happy with it.

For two years, they continued their normal jobs, with these intermittent blood iron requests.

But then… one of those darkly-dressed teenagers came back.

He was in college now, he told them. Someplace called Elsewhere.

(This was the first time they had heard that name. It would not be their last.)

The client didn’t talk details. She honestly wondered if the young man had been taking hallucinogens, the way he shuddered and dodged questions. But one thing, the client was very clear about:

That ring had saved his life. If he hadn’t had it, he would not be here.

He owed them his life for making it.

The client was still wearing it now. The plain metal band, cast over in silver, had been worn smooth by fingers that traced its path a thousand times. The craftsman was glad his handiwork still looked so good after two years, but the client refused to take it off when he asked to see it.

The ring had been priced at cost, plus 50%. He gave them another hundred dollars, something about leaving no debt unpaid. He told them he wouldn’t forget them and departed.

That was when the work began in earnest. It had been mid-December, the time when students come home for winter.

And when they and their families began asking for rings.

He didn’t understand it. Neither did she, but they both ended up taking two weeks off at work to deal with all the orders.

They were just blood iron rings. A novelty, not a matter of life and death. But these people- they came with their families, siblings, lovers. They traded rings with each other, wondering if this was better than wearing one’s own blood iron.

“Powerful” is how they described it. “It must be powerful.”

None of these people went by normal names. Owl. Cherish. Lipstick. Hog. Eleven-And-A-Tenth. Apparently, this was normal where they were from. They joined in for the fun of it when they saw these students flinch at the sound of real names.

She called herself Hemoglobin, the compound that held the precious iron. They called her Hemo.

He called himself Ferrous, a word that signals iron content in a chemical.

The students stopped flinching when they led with these names, and their clients learned to ask for them.

And they all spoke of Elsewhere- those who would speak at all.

Slowly, but surely, bits of information slipped past. Elsewhere was not a normal place. All the hints and whispers, the reasons given for their actions, it all pointed to something very wrong with this Elsewhere University.

Finally, a student asked when she came to pick up her ring (blood iron from herself and her sister, mixed together and studded with agates).

“Well, you know how it is at Elsewhere U. You two both made it, didn’t you?”

And Ferrous answered with the truth.

They’d never heard of it before the blood iron rings.

Her face had gone pale. “You… didn’t know?”

She had insisted on getting her ring before saying another word. Once it was firmly on her finger, she began to speak.

So this was what Elsewhere University was.

Inhuman teachers.

Disappearances.

A being who traded beads for teeth.

The crows.

Gifts of milk and bread.

Salt lines on the floor of the dorm.

The Forbidden Major.

The theater. Oh, the stories she had about the theater.

She asked Hemo to help her lift her shirt off her back. She showed them the ropelike scars there, from a close call with one of the gentry.

One of the Fae.

One of THEM.

She had misspoken and, fortunately, lived to regret it instead of dying. Or vanishing.

Or worse.

This really was a matter of life or death.

They had both needed time after that one. So this was why they were so desperate for blood iron.

Hemo and Ferrous agreed later that day: they were taking the rest of winter break to help protect these kids.

Hemo carefully drew out tales from Elsewhere as she drew blood- about iron and salt and their uses, and the risks posed by donating blood on campus. How far you had to go to be safe from it. How to tell when you weren’t.

Ferrous learned how to decorate the rings. What symbols to use and avoid. Which jewels would draw their eyes and which could turn them away. That coatings of another metal don’t affect potency.

Come January, they both returned to their former workplaces, and life went on as normal.

Orders trickled in slowly, perhaps a half-dozen in the long stretch until March. Most of these were novelty customers. No Elsewhere University, no life-and-death stakes, just cute little gestures and a fun little trend.

But they had heard too much to truly feel secure.

Hemo rerouted her path to work to cross the brook.

Ferrous watched the blackbirds at the park with suspicion.

Both laid salt at the door. Both used their nicknames with anyone seeking a ring.

In February, Ferrous asked Hemo to draw his own blood. There was someone he wanted to protect, he said, and he would be making a second donation as soon as medically advisable. More blood iron in the mix must yield a stronger ring, right?

She did it without asking questions. She had drawn her own a week before for the same reason.

The two pored over Ferrous’ sketches and sample work from the days before blood iron together, identifying the features each liked and disliked, what gems they would use in their perfect ring, what metals the ring would be coated in to avoid rust.

She marked the features he seemed to like as closely as he marked the ones she did.

They worked hard through that spring break, as busy as they’d been over the winter. Hemo nearly forgot their second rounds of donation, but waited until the week had passed to remind Ferrous. They had work to do, after all.

That April, Hemo presented Ferrous with 60 miligrams of his own blood iron, and the 60 she had drawn from herself. She told him they’d received a new order and listed the ring features she knew he favored as the requested design.

In a few day’s time, both rings were ready.

And of course, each gave the other a ring forged from their own blood.

After all, iron from the blood of a colleague and friend with whom you’ve actively defied a force you have never seen and cannot comprehend?

That must be a powerful thing.

(Or so they hope…)

  Based on https://elsewhereuniversity.tumblr.com/post/163841542201/sorry-if-this-is-a-weird-ask-but-im-a-little   and   https://elsewhereuniversity.tumblr.com/post/172050813485/given-the-natural-qualities-of-plain-iron

I know memories are supposed to fade for students who leave the campus for good, but as these two were never students and got told about it instead of experiencing it… Who knows? Or maybe reality is thinner where they live than they think…

-Nobody

[codyssfern]

college!shawn where his roommates let y/n stay with them because she used to live with her bf but not anymore cuz they broke up and shawn dosent want to let her stay, he’s annoyed with her cuz she’s always happy and giddy and he’s like isn’t she supposed to be sad??she sleeps in the living room and one day when shawn goes to grab a water or something he hears her crying. and he hates it so much. and slowly he starts softening up to her. omg this is so specific im crying 🥺🥺🥺🥺

a/n | warnings: this may be a bit long + lots of swearing

-

“wait what?!”

brian raises his eyebrows at the boy, not really understanding his confusion or anger. he’d just told shawn that y/n would be staying with them at their dorm. see y/n was previously dating their best friend, adam, and when they broke up shawn was rather relieved, assuming she was gonna stop coming over, finally. let’s just say her perky attitude almost made his blood boil in annoyance.

“dude, she and adam are over! why the fuck does she have to keep living here?” shawn growled as he walked to the kitchen.

brian couldn’t believe his shitty attitude, “because she’s our friend, shawn! she’s mine and connor’s too. by now i thought you two would’ve been friends too.” 

shawn chuckles under his breath.

“y/n is nothing but nice to you. to all of us! and adam was an asshole for leaving her like he did and i’m not about to send her out in the streets okay?!”

“the streets? brian you’re talking about the girl who’s dad owns like half of toronto!” shawn defends, “i am sure one phone call is all it takes for her daddy to buy her a brand new condo.” 

shawn couldn’t put it to words exactly what was his problem with y/n. all he knew was that every time he saw her or heard her he’d find himself rolling his eyes so far back they could come out the back of his head. 

“bro you’re such an asshole! you know how difficult her relationship with her dad is,” shawn shrugs his shoulders while taking a sip of his beer, “just keep your mouth shut if you’re not going to be nice okay? she isn’t really the person you wanna be shitty too right now.” 

-

y/n’s hands trembled as she walked up to the dorm. she wasn’t exactly thrilled to greet her ex boyfriend’s roommates, well just one especifically. shawn. she had no idea why he despised her so much. she had tried so hard to get to know him and give him a chance- of course only on brian’s behalf because if it had been for her, she would’ve given up the second she met him. 

“did you ever plan on knocking?” 

y/n snaps out of her thoughts and realized she’d been standing on the doorstep for god knows how long. 

“oh god how long have i been standing here?” y/n asks in embarrassment. 

“dunno’ actually,” brian says letting her in, “shawn’s the one who saw you standing there from outside his window.” 

y/n gave him a wry smile, “oh goody, he knows i’m here. do i hide now or later?” 

her sarcasm was almost sad to brian. brian hated the way shawn made y/n feel.

“Y/N?!”

brian and y/n turn around and there was connor at the top of the stairs

“well come down here, blue eyes!” y/n said making him giggle and rush down the stairs. 

once connor comes down the stairs, he wraps his arms around y/n almost lifting her feet up the ground in the hug, “we’ve missed you much.” 

“we?” 

the sound of his voice almost made y/n feel tightness in her throat. brian kept looking at y/n waiting to see if she was gonna say something but y/n just stood there.

“sorry. was told to be nice but guess i couldn’t resist,” shawn said walking past her. 

y/n scoffs, “yeah, you never miss a chance to be an asshole do you?” 

this was going to be one hell of a year. y/n thought to herself. first adam. he’d gotten a job offer at one of the most pristine law firms in london and when he asked y/n to go with him, she said couldn’t. that resulted in a big fight and ended in a breakup. now with him gone and she not wanting to ask her dad for money to rent a place to live, she had to stay with a guy who despised her for a whole year. y/n didn’t know how she was going to do it.

-

“wait so your dad married a girl half our age?!” 

y/n lets out a breathy chuckle, “wouldn’t be the first time.” 

“so what you’re saying is,” y/n raises her eyebrow at connor while taking a sip of her beer, “vicky from biology can easily be your next step-mom?” 

y/n gasps, nudging connor’s leg with her’s, “oh fuck you, conn!” 

the laughs coming from the back patio almost made shawn’s blood boil. he couldn’t understand how she could be so happy and perky after what adam had done. he didn’t understand why she was always so nice even in the most shittiest situations with people. he didn’t understand how she was so positive about things even when they were negative. he envied her. that was it. he wanted to be like her in that sense. not hate the world every time something bad happened to him, he wanted to be understanding like her. sweet like her. but he would never admit it.

“if he starts being a dick you know what to do.” brian motions to shawn who was sitting on the couch watching tv. 

y/n nods her head, letting out a weak sigh, “if i had known you two weren’t gonna be here tonight i would’ve come tomorrow.” she admits

“i know, we’re sorry. you know how study groups are,” by then connor started honking, letting brian know they had to go. “you’ll be fine. if you have to lock yourself in mine or connor’s room, just do it.” 

 brian gives y/n a quick kiss on the cheek before making his way down to the car. and just like that, there were just two. y/n took a deep breath before closing the door and turning around to face shawn. the tension in the air was thick and almost dry in a way. if it hadn’t been for the loud screams coming from the tv, y/n could’ve sworn you could drop a clothing pin and it would echo between the walls.

“i’m gonna go make myself something to eat,” y/n starts, “would you like something?” 

shawn sighs, pausing the tv, “yeah maybe a sandwich with a little bit of that perky attitude of yours on the side.” he snaps sarcastically. 

“sometimes i can’t believe you’re almost a whole 21 year old, in uni,” shawn’s eyes meet her’s, not letting her out of his gaze, “you know because i don’t think i’ve ever met someone so immature at this day and age in uni.” 

shawn chuckled. even when she’s trying to sound mean, she somehow sounds like she’s complimenting him. it filled him with rage. soon enough, y/n gave up and just made her way into the kitchen. her goal? to avoid the boy for the rest of the night.

-

“you’re the one who left!” 

shawn’s eyes flutter. he groans as he hears loud whispers coming from downstairs, shaking his head, running his fingers through his tired eyes. he stretches his legs before pulling the sheets off his exposed skin and rolling out of bed. he’d left his door half opened, that’s why he could hear the noise coming from downstairs. 

“you don’t get to call me when you’re drunk and make me feel even shittier for not going with you,” the soft sobs echoing the the whole house almost made shawn’s heart ache. “goodbye, adam. don’t call me again unless you’ve figured out your shit!” 

y/n throws her phone across the couch and lets her head fall in her hands. she was a mess but she’d never let anyone see it. her whole body trembling as she sobbed her pain away. 

“you okay?” 

y/n didn’t answer or even turn to look at him. shawn scratched the back of his head not knowing what to do. in all the years he’d known y/n, he had never seen her break down. she always kept herself in place, in check... something he’d let her believe annoyed him but in reality, he admired it. 

“look,” he walks over to her, kneeling down and placing his hands on her knees. they were shaking. “adam’s a dick okay? an absolute dick and you know that black eye he had before he left?” 

y/n finally looked up, her red teary eyes, meeting his. “what? now you’re gonna tell me that was you? that you gave him that black eye?” she scoffed in disbelief. 

“when brian told me what happened, i felt this sudden rage and in that moment i wanted nothing more but for him to pay for what he did,” shawn explains, “and so that night i went to his room and i punched him.” 

y/n looked at him. not quite sure if he believed him but she was way too tired and weak to question him. 

“well no more giving out free punches for me, mendes.” 

shawn grabbed y/n’s hands from her face and softly brushed his thumb over her warm skin, “i’d go on a punching spree for you.”

y/n chuckled pushing his hand away, “that’s weirdly romantic.” 

shawn smiles and gets back on his feet. extending his hand out, “cmon, i’ll make us some tea, we can watch a movie after and cuddle or whatever you need to feel better.”

“brian and connor walking in on us cuddling... that’s definitely gonna make them feel like the world’s coming to an end.” y/n says grabbing shawn’s hand. 

“no better way to spend the last day on earth than by cuddling you.” 

y/n rolls her eyes, “mendes,” he looks at her, “you’re about the cheesiest guy i’ve ever met.”

[jedward5ever]

Jacob and Edward

hey guys. just a little something. Jacob and Edward if you’re into that. 

setting: cullen’s house they’re studying or smthn bella hasnt moved in yet

edward: so what did you get for number 5?

Jacob: uhhhhh…..i didnt do it

edward: ok. why?

Jacob: i don't really get this whole math thing...can u explain?

e: oh that’s okay. well first of all this is biology. so in question 5 they’re asking what is the first step of glycolysis, do you know what glycolysis is?

J: uhhhhh i turn into a wolf sometimes

e: *startled, looks away.* uh? ok well glycolysis is basically when glucose is split (glucose is sugar and like……. sweet) and the final product is two pyruvate molecules

J: *turns into a wolf* aaaaawooooooooooooo

e: *slaps him across the wolf face, once then twice* what the FUCK are you doing. you cant do ths in my house and u broke my antique glass table i stole from bulgaria

J: *turns back into a person* sorry bro i do that sometimes when im nervous

e: ………. *lights down spotlight on edward for brief monologue* i… i  feel so guilty i slapped him to be or not to be? then i should aboiplogize *lgihts back on*... hey jacob im sorry is lapped u….. why r u nervous’

J: its ok bro…..im nervous bc...no i cant say it...its embarrassing

e: *caresses jacobs’ face where he slapped him* its ok. im sorry. sometimes i let my anger get the better of me

J: its ok ...its just that….i..i….

e: *starts getting mad* speak the fuck up. what are u saying

J: *mumbles something*

e: *starts meditating to calm down* what.

J: i said…..i….l...ll

e: WHAT YOU STUPID MUTT

j:......i….love……

e: what the fuck r u trying to say *flexes his hands ina nger*

J: i love y- *dies of unknown cause*

e: Hi, I’m edward cullen. im trained in first aid. can i help u? *no answer* hello? are you awake? bystander *points to alice* please contact ems adn let them know someone is about to be Turned *bites jacob*

J: *becomes a vampire but also still werewolf* bro……

e: ok. so do you understand glycolysis now?

J: yeah i do thanks bro that helped a lot

e: no problem, now onto question 6. wait. this isn’t a bio question. it says…. no i can’t read this filth

J: what does it say man

e: it… it *face turns red then green then purple* it…. ugh this is disgusting. you read it

J: i didnt want to tell u this bc i thought you would make fun of me but…..i cant read...

e: u fucking illiterate bastard. fine ill read it *clears throat* fuck i didnt copy pzste it hold on

Lmssoaooao dw ok it wont let me but *jacob x edward fanfiction*

LAMOAOAK

J: dude…...thats in the textbook????

e: yeah. its fucking disgusting. how did they know everything about us… actually wait it look s like someone wrote this by hand…

J: thats so weird…..who would have done that….so gross….

e: lemme check whose textbook this is. *flips to front*................................................................. *looks up at jacob with golden orbs and squints his eyes* it says its ur textbook

J: thats c-c-crazy bro ,,,,, i cant even read hahaha how could i write that hahaha

e:....... you fucking liar. yeah u can read. is this seriously how u thin k of me? of us? ur sick in the fucking head. i woulc neve.r;..... never fucking do that with u

J:....is that...is that realy how you feel?

e: *inexplicable rage* obviously u weirdo stupid werewolf dog *starts choking jacob*

J: *actually likes being choked* oh no…..oh no…..don't do this…. e: *notices hes into it* AHRHGHGHHGHGHHG (in rage) *choke slams him into the broken glass table* YOURE SO GROSS

J: *thinks* he will never love me the way i love him...maybe i should just end it all…..

e: *freeze frame…. lights down spotlight on edward again...  monoglogu* wait…. what the fuck……… is that smell? i just realized i cannot read his mind? what the fuck is going on…………. *slideshow in the background with informational voice: it turns out that one of jacob’s sperm containing renesemee was i dont know hanging out which was already pyscihologucally connected to bella and stole bella’s power of smelling good and no thoughts then transferred it to jacob making him have those powers* *spotlight end* jacob…….. why the fuck…. cant i read ur mind… why do u smell so good…

J: i didnt know u could read minds….maybe i just don't have thoughts…..

e: everyone has fucking thoughts.l…… but i cant… read urs…

J: i don't know…….has that ever happened before?

e: no… *intense eye contact*

J; *blushes and looks down* im sorry im different

e: *looks away cus jacob looked away, then  accidentally looks down* bro… is that….

J: no bro… its not what it looks like!!!

e: *stares at him then throws up to the side* i cant believe this… ur a nasty dog but i cant help but feel….. attracted to u

J: youre...attracted to me……

e: I dnt’ know why……. dont worry i cant get it up i have no blood

J: wait….we cant fuck??? Im out of here *turns to leave*

e: wait. there is a way…… *flashback on the slideshow to when edeawrd drank jacobs blodo to vampirize him this slideshow is viewable by edward and jacob*

J: well tell me,,,how do we fuck?????

e: u tell me

J: i don't know youve been a vampire longer than i have

e: bruh. so????? i follow the christian beliefs

J: stupid idiot we cant fuck then

e: *looks away* i guess. not like i wanted to anyways

J: you know what? I don't have to deal with this *turns to leave* call me when you want some dick

e: *when jacob is more than like 10m away suddenly intense pain hits them both* theres… something i forgot to tell u. when i vampirized u….. iut basically means ur bonded to me for like 1 month….

J: so youre telling me….im stuck with u for a month….and we cant fuck

e: well yeah more or less

the end

BREAKOUT ROOMS ENDED CLASS IS OVER LMAAOAOAOAGood rp bro SUCH A GOOD CLASS i agreed exactly to be continued

LOL EXCELLENT STORY it was honestly amazing great twists and turns, the tensini was high cant wait to see where this goes hope rob enjoys <3

setting: school assembly, principal andrew is doing a presentation on how to stay safe from these mysterious killings….. (vampires and werewolfs)

jacob and edward sit next to each other cus they cant be 10m apart.

e: ugh. u again.

J: stop talking as if this isnt ur fault

e: *whispering* ur the one who fucking died for no reason

J: ok and?? You didnt have to bring me back

e: *roll eyes* u know exactly why i had to

J:.........what do you mean…….

e: *looks at him with golden orbs then looks away* shut up. principal andrew is talking..

J: *is listening to every word andrew says bc he is so amazing but keeps looking at edward*......

e: * is listening and doesn’t notice j acob looking at him, then speaks to jacob without looking at him* look… they’re talking about killings… is this ur fucking tribe’s doing?

J: what the fuck no way its your stupid fucking family we keep our end of the agreement

e: *inhales sharply, then grips jacob’s leg with vampire strengthz* dont u fucking talk about my family like that u stupid mutt *people begin looking in their direction*

J: *is kind of turned on but would never admit it* stop being fucking gay people are staring

e: *notices people are staring and releases jacob, embarrassedly* just shut the fuck up and listen. *andrew begins talking about A CURFEW… they cannot leave their houses or some shit like basically e and j have to be together*

J:wait….how the fuck are we supposed to stay in our houses if we cant be away from each other….im not about to live with your weird incest family…

e: *enraged again, grabs the back of jacob’s neck at the pressure point* what the fuck. did. i say. about. talking. shit. about. my family. take that  back right fucking now

J: *smirks* what are you gonna do about it…..be more gay?

e: *even more rage* i am not fucking gay —- cut off by andrew: Edward, Jacob, what the fuck are yall doing? *everyone turns to look, spotlight on them*

J: im sorry mr andrew….its just that edward attacked me…..hes so in love with me and he keeps assaulting me...im not gay though

andrew: oh thank god (he thought they were gay). edward, jacob immediately separate.

J:uhhhhhhhh i think we have to talk though…..sort this out with words…

e: *is extremely embarrassed to have everyones attention on him* Yes sir, andrew. i mean principal andrew. *grabs jacob by the scruff of his neck and drags him to the hallway and then slams him in to the lockers like bullies in the 80s* why the FUCK did u embarass me like that

J: bro you embarrassed urself…..you were all over me….just say youre into me itll be easier for both of us

e: ALL OVER YOU? *slams him again*

J:yeah like ur all ove me right now you cant keep your cold dead hands off of me

e: *moves back as if burned, walking away backwards while also throwing up, but then he is too far and they are both in intense pain*

J: dude calm down lets talk about this shit….we gotta make a plan

e: *refusing to come closer, so still are in pain* …...plan… for … what

J: the fucking…..cerfew…. Idiot…. Come back…..

e: *doesn’t come back, vomits once more* no… u fucking… smell…. what do … u mean…. the curfew…

J: were you not….listening to andrew… we have to stay inside our houses….but how can we do that if we cant be apart from each other

e: *looks away angrily* ….. we… will have to… stay apart… in pain… i guess…

J: you’re so fucking stubborn you did this to me and now youre making me suffer too

e: … i… don’t… care…. *walks even further, causing them more pain*

J: were only like 20m apart….and it already feels like this…..you think we can handle more thN THIs forever???? Youre so fucking stupid

e: *glares at him but doesnt come closer* shut. the … fuck up…. you fucking…. dog…

J: *steps closer* make...me…..

e: *doesn’t see him coming cus eyes are closed* shut…. up… stop… talking…

J: *steps closer* i said…...make….me

a/n: how fucking close are they now huh  uhh like 3 ft apart ok

e: *smells jakob cus he stinks and opens eyes* GET AWAY FROM ME

J: make me *smirks*

a/n: LMFAO THANKS i need to formulate a perfect response lemmet hink of course take all the time you need

e: what the fuck do you mean make me? i will launch u across this hallway wolf boy

J: do it then…..

e: *grabs him by the neck again and slings him*

J: *dies*

e: *notices.( a/n: sigh) spotlight… on …. edward… monoglogue: i-........i cant believe i fucking killed him again…. the pain is gone but… literally wtf….. i…. grrr. *edward looks into the distance, pondering. then silently goes to jacob.* i have to save him. *begins cpr and mouth to mouth breathing*  

J: *was never actually dead only pretending like romeo and juliet* *smirks*

a/n: I FUCKING KNEW IT LOL

e: *notices the smirk, then realizes he was alive the whole time* what the FUCK jacob? *slaps him across the face* you dirty bastard

a/n KALMASKDAOJDIJDOASOISO

J: so i guess you don't hate me that much huh?

e: *slaps him again* i thought you fucking died. i couldn’t let andrew discover a dead body in the hallway. and. and anyway i was going to eat you afterwards so yeah take that

J: yeah thats so believable…… just say you love me...i wont judge you *gay slur*

e: *is about to rage again* im literally. fucking straight. i love…. va-vgagag gaggaga *starts vomiting* WHAT THE FUCK DO U WANT FROM ME

a/n IM CRYING HAHA

J: dude...its 2020...its ok to be gay...you don't have to pretend to be someone youre not,,,, i aceppt you

e: *once again, he can’t help but be attracted to jacob bc of the science i explained in the previous thing, stares depeply into jacob’s orbs* what… do… you… want… from …. me … u fucking… dog

J: *stares back into edwards orbs* i just….i just want you to be happy…

e: *looks away* i am… happy. away from you.

J: *looks away from edward looking away* if thats really how you feel…...fine...ill take the pain….

e: *once a fucking gain. spotlight. monologue* in all my 118 years…. ive caused so much pain and destruction… should i really put this on poor jacob’ why did i see children see i mean sayy omg on poor jacob’s shoulders. no i cant.* no. no. we can. stay together. *teeth clenched* for. the curse, of course. so. you don’t have pain. not that. i . like u.

a/n TEARS MAN WHY IS EDWARD A TSUNDERE I DONT KNOW

J: fine...for the curse….whatever helps you sleep at night..

e: *touches jacob’s shoulder (only cus theyre so close) and pushes him back* yeah. you can stay at. my house. i guess

a/n: (u have to say no so ed goes to jacobs werewolf hq)

J: no way i cant be around all those incesty vampires its creepy as fuck you come to my place

e: *gasp* what the fuck. youre literally a VAMPIRE too. i…. i dont wanna go to ur place…

J: physically im a vampire but mentally im still a wolf and i will not be around so many dead sister fuckers

e: ….. i don’t wanna be around u stinky werewolves…. Unless….no.

J: what man???

e: *is disgusted firstly, by werewolves, and the way jacob speaks so heterosexually irks him* nothing. can’t we, like. get a hotel room.

J: that might not be a bad idea…..but im poor remember

e: *facepalms then says annoyedly* fine. we’ll go to ur fucking wolf den. but u have to make it up to me.

J: ……...how?

e: *rolls eyes* i don;’t fucking know. u tell me. it better be good cus i will never get that werewolf smell off of me.

J: i mean…...we could like…..if youre down…….

e: *squints at him* what.

J: we could……..you know…. ..

e: *understands, slaps him across the face for millionth time poor jacob probably has permanent hand prints* EW.

J: like i don't want to because im not gay but id do it for you

e: … you know. i used to be able to read ur mind up until  a few weeks ago. so i do know what the fuck u thought of me…. what u thought—- *nearly vomits again*

J: but that was a long time ago...before we got close….now you made me straight

e: *extremely offended* what the fuck? you dont think im hot anymore?

J: why does it matter???? Youre not gay right

e: *hits him again* im not FUCKING gay. and it matters. b ecause, because,m because because because bcuae buse bcueacuab euacaubeucae BECAUSE. everyone thinks im hot. and if ur around him[edward] for the next month, u also need tot hink im hot.

a/n wtf is him oh of course a/n: edward is refering tohimself in third person

J: maybe if you were nicer to me id like you more...stop fucking hitting me and vomitting

a/n: lAMFPAOO,FP

e: *looks away in shame, then sighs shakily brings his cold vampirical hands to jacob’s bruised face* look. my hands. are so.. fucking cold they will heal ur bruies *doesnt look him in the eyes*

a/n HYDUHFUIEHWOIHOIDW

J: *doesnt make eye contact* thanks….i guess…

e: *keeps using vampircal cold hands to heal, then they accidentally make eye contact, edward looks away*

J: you don't have to look away…..

e: *glares back at him just to prove a point* fine.

J: *stares into edwards orbs with kindness and love* ……….

e: *stares back and recognizes what jacob is feeling, whispers* ur fucking gay

J: maybe…..but so are you…….

END

BREAKOUT ROOM ENDINGWHY THEY HAVE A COUNTDOWN. OK THIS SCENE ENDS HERE NEXT IS JACOB’S HOUSE ok it was really good today honestly excellent a/n are a perfect edditon  except im losing my ability to type and spell we at 3k words BRUH LMOAAOAOA i love us ok bye

dun dun dun dun (tear in my heart). LMAO listening to it oh good u start bruh its ur hosue

setting: jacob’s den thing, also we need to have my immortal descriptions

J: so make yourself at home i guess…..

e: *carrying black bag with mcr pins on it , looks around in disgust* ….. u live like this?

J: yeah man sorry im not rich like you are

e: *is definitely thinking something offensive towards native people but disguised as against werewolves as stephanie meyer always does* ok…. so where am i sleeping..

a/n HUIHBUFOEWGEUI did i lie  absolutely not

J;well like……...theres only one bed…

e: *mutters* could this get any more cliche. *notmutter* k. well im definitely not sleeping next to you. mind if i amazon prime a (whatever those fake small bed things are called)

J: if you want but theres not much room,,,,whatever,,,,,,*is disappointed*

e: *ignores jacob, typing on his phone to order the thing*

(Now Jacob’s family comes in I forgot their names but they’re here) billy is dad i think

J: oh hey guys this is edward he has to stay for a bit

Billy: *smells his ugly vampire smell* did you bring one of them….into my home????

edward: *visibly uncomfortable and surrounded by the werewolves, whispers to jacob* what the fuck… i didn’t know your whole pack was gonna be here…

J: *whispers back* this is our headquarters man….i didnt think theyd be so early thought *soeaks to fam* im sorry but a lot has happened….its necessary

a/n: k so im billy now? If u want

billy: *stares at edward for a while, assessing him.*

edward: …

billy: *sniffs him, then decides its ok* well then. if you say so jakey boy *claps edward on the shoulder* no biting ok?

edward: .

J: haha yeah….so were gonna go to my room now…..come on lets go

e: *glad to leave* yeah lets go right now

(The fam watches them go and its so awkward)

(in jacobs room)

J: so that was terrible but we’ll just stay up here as much as possible so that doesnt happen again

e: ugh that was so embarrassing… that was like when i introduced my ex gf to my family…. *realizes what he said* EW , not that WE are like that cus ewww gross *slaps jacob out of embarrassment*

a/n HAHAHAHAHA

J: *uncomfortable bc was slapped but also jealous of ex and sad ed don't like him like that* no man i get it….it happens all the time...cuz i bring so many chicks back here...not that we’re like that…..

e: yeah, obviously. *hand twitches in urge to slap him, but stops himself…. is upset because jacob brings back so many bitches and is jealous. so he goes to face the wall in anger* i need to ….. do./.. my chemistry homework

J: yeah whatever...i gotta do stuff too,,,,,im really busy….*looks down*

e: *is doing the chemistry homework standing up and super fast cus he’s been to high school for over 100 years, mutters* this is so easy ugh

J: why are you even in school anyways like you could be anywhere why do you want to learn the same shit over and over again

e: ………..Well if you woudl really like to know, it’s not the same thing over and over again. the school system has changed a lot since 1918 so it is actually pretty refreshing. i also like seeing how the trends change but are basically the same so yeah i do enjoy going to school, i don’t wanna work everyday because that’s different everyday plus school is easy for me and i get so many bitches cus im sexy.

J: yeah thats cool i guess *mad bc he gets so man bitches* but like if you get so many bitches...where are they???? Why do you hangout with me all the time???

e: *slaps jacob* BECAUSE IF WE ARENT CLOSE TOGETHER WE WILL FUCKING DIE DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE CURSE OR SOMETHING

J: THE CURSE DOESN’T STOP YOU FROM HAVING BITCHES THO…..ITS ALMOST LIKE UR A FUCKING LIAR

e: *gasps, backhand slap now* OF COURSE I HAVE BITCHES. DID YOU FORGET I CAN READ MINDS. EVEN TEACHERS WANT ME. AND I KNOW THAT YOU DID TOO, AT one ponitn… .gerkgorjgopjfpwjgwprjgpwojgwo *slaps jacob again so he can’t see that edward is blushing*

J: yeah i did like you…….*turns away so edward doesnt see him cry*

e: *not even looking in his direction cause he’s embarrassed* um. ….. *stomach growl*.... oh….

J: oh do you need some fucking blood or something

e: *disgusted that he is being perceived* ugh. im a vegetarian, so i need to…. go hunting… probably

(but they on sacred land or smthn)

J: first of all thats not what vegetarian means idiot and second of all you cant fucking hunt here its sacred and so are all the animals that live here….so  now what???

e: *rolls eyes and is for sure thinking racist things* ugh. lemme call alice maybe she can bring me some stored blood… *calls but there’s no service* what the FUCK…. i hate this place… lemme amazon prime some blood…

J: oh sorry you cant ubereats your fucking blood...and youre so addicted to your phone...maybe try living in the moment lke the rest of the world

e: *zones out for a second at the mention of ike aka the character someone in kelvin yo’s story plays in super smash bros, then jolts back to reality* i am living in the moment. you know whats happening in this moment? im fucking hungry bruh and i need blood. so u better get me some before i fucking start feeding and then ur dads gonna be mad

J: you. Cant. feed. Here. why is that so hard to understand….lets just fucking leave and you can go hunt or whatever

e: *eyes flash with anger and turn whatever the colour is when they are hungry* im. hungry. NOW. *starts doing whatever hungry vampires do like intense breathing*

J: dude…..calm down….*nervous*....we’ll get you some blood or whatever *backs into a wall*

e: don’t tell me to fucking calm down *supa hungry rn, then attacks jacob by slamming him OUT of the wall, yeah u read that right, the wall is broken now how sad* GIMME BLOODDDDDD *edward tries to bite jacob*

J: BRUH U BROKE MY FUKING HOUSE…..AND I DON'T HAVE BLOOD IM A FUCKING VAMPIRE TOO REMEBER??????? I CANT HELP U

e: *too hangry to hear him, bites into jacob’s neck with his fangs. out of his neck comes this disgusting sloshy black thing cus he no have blood* UGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS YOU TASTE DISGUSTING *spits it out onto the grass, then sees its black and calms down* waht the fuck………… *looks at broken wlal* huh….

J: oh are you back now???? Yeah i don't have fucking blood and you tried to kill me and my house….what the fuck man it always comes down to you killing me….i don't think i can do this anymore……

e: …….look. it’s not my fault. honestly you’re exaggerating things. i was hungry. i can’t help it and you should have known better than to be around me. and im still hungry. so.

J: wow so we’re victim blaming now????? No man i said i cant do this…..you never think about me

e: *rolls eyes uncomfortably, then notices jacob’s neck is still bleeding* well. im not. victim blaming. but. you’re still. bleeding. so  my vampircal saliva is actually. healing . u.m . proertries. so umeme asmdaosmdsomaodmw. let. me . help . uoi. iok omo kok

a/n you ok man? i told u im losing brain cels

J: how can i trust you????? Everytime i trust you i die…….

e: *rolls eyes and then puts his hand on jacob’s face (like his face not the side of it)* just let . me . do my. fucking job *licks him*

J: *flinches but gives in* youre so fucking gay...if you wanted to makeout you could have jjust said so...i would have said no tho

e: *slams jacob’s head into the ground so powerfully that there is a jacob shaped crater in the ground* IM FUCKING HEALING YOU. *the bite mark has healed, slams jacob into the ground again* YOU STUPID FUCK IM NOT GAY

J: *dies*

e: *mad, spits on the ground next to jacob* i know ur not fucking dead. ur a vampire and a werewolf for fucks sake. get up.

J: *still dead*

e: you can’t just use the dead card everytime u want me to be nice to you. cause i wont. i literally wont.

J: *just a fucking corpse*

e: *stares at his dead body for a bit.* jacob. get the fuck up.

J: *not alive*

e: *hears billy’s wheelchair coming up* spotlight monolgoeu: well fuck. i can’t let him see i just killed his son for the third time. fuckfuckfuck what can i do i don’t have time to hide the body so… so ….. ok well hes a corpse and im a corpse too so this won’t be that weird

BREAKOUT ROOM ENDNEDINDENIEI TO BE CONTINUED YEAH RIGHTAHHAHAHHA JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART  HOW EXCITING FOR TOMROW YES I CANNOT WAIT

*continuing edward monologue*

e: yeah … its totally not weird…. its cause i because because because because because because because because i need a cover thats why im doing totally not gay *kisses jacob*

(billy comes out from behind the house)

J: *obviously wasnt dead, wakes up, kisses edward back* oh hey dad

Billy: *supportive of his gay son* hey i thought i heard a fight *looks up* what the fuck happened to the wall

e: *sees jacob isn’t dead anymore, thinks that his kiss brought him back to life like in snow white, shocked* …….hhhh…….. wall?

J: sorry i don't know how that happened shits crazy ya know

Billy: *nods wisely* i do know…...well you boys have fun *leaves*

e: *stares at jacob in shock* …..do you….. remember… what happened before u died?

J: *does but wants to fuck with edward* wh….what? i…...i...d..died??????

e: *rolls eyes* yeah u fucking did. i brought u back though.

J: how…..???

e: ugh *hits him* obviously i just bit you to … bring u back.. to life….

J: so im already a vampire…...but now youve made me a double vampire??? Or does it cancel out and im human????

e: i dont fucking know. i— *remembers the curse and hopes jacob does not bring it up because the curse should double since jacob is double vampire* but don’t worry about the curse. obviosuyl .

J: oh does it double now that im a double vampire???

e: NO. and anyways. im still fucking hungry. so. be a good host and get me some mf food

J: yeah just let me check my fridge for some fucking blood…...idiot…..lets go somewhere so u can be a fake vegetarian

e: hmph. well let’s see if u can keep up. *runs away at vampire speed into the woods*

J: *turns into wolf and uses wolf and vampire speed and follows* awoooooooo

(the curse not acting up meaning theyre within 20m of each other)

e: *looks behind and sees jacob can keep up* slowpoke

ROB ENTERED MY CHAT YA SAME LOL ANYWAYS

J: who tf u callin slow *runs so fast that he almost next to edward*

e: *getting tired cus he is low on blood therefore energy* grrrrrrr

J: look we’re off sacred ground now go catch a deer or something

e: . im tired. u get something for me.

J: so now im ur personal chef?????? No get ur own shit

e: ive killed u three times already. dont make it a fourth.

J: *mumbles* whatever *leaves and smirks knowing he only actually died once* *gets a fucking deer or some

BREAKOUT ENDED????????? Ing WTF WHY WHO CARES LETS CONTINUE BRUH WHAT IS GOING ON DID U HEAR ERIC AND TINA THAT WAS SO AWKWARD I HATE THIS CLASS SO MUCH LILY LTIERALY WHAT BURH i do npt ccare at all

k anyways continue

J; here take this eat up

a/n: god i forgot how fucking ugky tina’s voice is fucking right

e: *bites into the deer, drinking the blood and makes direct eye contact w jacob* nomnomnom

J: feel better now?

e: *disgusted and spits blood at jacob’s feet* nomnomnomnom

J: *looks away cuz this is gross* the shit i do for u……

e: *slurps disgustingly* nomnomnom nom nOMnomON griwjodk

a/n wait lets hope we together obviously no omfg these bitches are talking im not speaking to u im puttig yall on mute good

J: *vomits cuz the noises r gross* could u be a little more quiet?????

e: *puts down the deer* dont fucking vomit in front of me and my food

J: your food is so much more disgusting than my vomit

e: then don’t look at me. *keeps drinking*

J: *rolls eyes*......

e: nomnomnomnom… *puts down again* i said dont fucking look at me.

J: *says nothing but keeps looking*

e: *slurp* u want some then?

J: absolutely not

e: *rolls eyes* i know ur a carnivore, come here

J: nah i don't want that shit youve fuccking destroyed it its disgusting

e: *the deer isnt destroyed like literally one puncture, but edward gets mad at the accusation, so he rips off the backlegs of the deer* i know u want some *throws the legs at jacob*

(catch it with ur mouth PLS Like a wolf)

a/n LMAO like throw drink but then u swallow it all dark blue hell post  YES

J: *catches it with his mouth perfectly while making intense eye contact* …..

e: fucking mutt…. *goes back to drinking the blood* nomnomnomnomnom

J: *eats deer leg like it chicken wing* this shit isnt even good….

e: ur the one who hunted it.

J: whatever tommorow we going to mcdicks

e: what the fucks a mcdicks

J: bro…….youve never had a shit burger……..

e: why would i eat shit … in a burger…

J: of course your small mind could never understand….ugh

e: *spits blood in a perfect arch that lands right on jacobs shirt* dont call me small minded ever again

J: dude what the fuck…..and ill call u what i want

e: *finished drinking* no the fuck u won’t. *gestures to deer* u gonna eat my leftovers or what

J: i will not...and what the fuck r u gonna do about it???

e: do about what

J: me calling you small minded idiot

e: *slaps him* shut the fuck up

J: *turns the tables and slaps edward* it doesnt feel so good huh???

a’=./n: HAHAHAHHA

e: *holds his face in shock* WHHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT????????????? MY VAMPIRE HAND DOESNT HURT AS MUCH U FUCKING IDIOT

J: yeah ok but i slapped you once and youve slapped me at least a billion times so it adds up….funny how you can give it but not take it….weak…

e: *thinks about how he could say a few things about that last phrase but doesn’t* i’ve literally killed u so many fucking times *raises fist* i will do it again…..

J: *steps closer* do it then

e: why… the fuck … do you ALWAYS provoke me… kNOWING you will die? *pushes him back*

J: because i know you need an excuse to make out with me every once and awhile *smirks*

e: *gasp* WHAT THE FUFK? HOW DID U KNOW THAT *HITS HIM IN THE FACE*

J: bro you didnt think i was actually dead did you…...i thought you would have known better by now *still smirking*

e: *speechless and wishes he could use his mindpowers on jacob but it doesnt work* ………..

J: yeah so maybe you should try being nicer

e: absolutely not. once this month is over im moving to korea

BREAKOUT ROMM ENDINGNOOOOOOOO AKWAYDS WHEN IT GETS GOOD I KNOW RIGHT UGH ITS OK BUT YEAH THERE NEEDS TO BE AN EMOTIAONL CONNECTION SOON BEFOREMARRIAGE OH OF COURSE I CANT WAIT WE WILL WORK MORE TMRW NO SATUDAY MONDAY WOOOOWOOOO I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE A FILM OF THIS YESSSSSSS MONDAY OK HAHAHA

e: *continued* and im never speaking to u again.

J: yeah right you always say that shit…..but then you come crawling back

e: *rolls eyes* i’ve literally never done that. ur schizophrenia’s acting up because weve never had any fucking relationship before this……. i DONT LIKE YOU

J: uh huh but you always bring me back to life and make out with my corpse so what does that mean???

e: first of all, WE ARE BOTH CORPSES. so its not weird. second, i dont wanna get in trouble for killing a werewolf. so thats that. *turns away and starts walking back to the house but its the wrong direction*

J: yeah thats a likely story…….you know thats not the way home right…*smirks*

e: obviously ….. i was tricking u….. *goes the other way*

J: *rolls eyes and still smirks* so what do you wanna do when we get home

e: nothing *hes still going the wrong way but this time a different wrong*

J: well whatever….how long are you planning on going the wrong way before you ask me for help?

e: buddy.. this is the right way *shows map on phone*

(............ how can this be??????? ARE THEY IN a diffeernte realm)

a/n LMSOAAIOOAAO faerie realm

J: no i swear……..it……*turns in a circle confused* we definitely came from………

e: so what the fucks going on? is this one of ur stupid pranks bc ur native or whatever

J: can you stop being racist for two seconds this is weird….whatever maybe i messed up….lets just follow your phone…

(they follow the directions on the phone but they find that theyre just going in circles eneding up back to the dead dear…. a strange mist is rising*

e: uh…………….. what the fucks going on……….

J: uhhhhhh…….this has never happened before…...what the fuck do we do,....

e: wait. do u hear that……..

(from in the mist they hear something coming……………. its this really hot woman coming out, her name……. bella swan)

bella: …… *in sexy voice* hello boys

a/n GYDSUFGEYORGFBOREW

J: uh…..who the fuck are you….

b: *tosses her head back and laughs, long luscious dark locks of dark of hair of brown falling behind her, then opens her blue? brown? idk her orb colour and stares at them…. she notices edward’s extremely strong gay aura so doesnt go to him. looks at jacob* im bella. bella swan…. youre in my swamp….

J: ok…...but we’re lost...so could you help us out….?

e: *uncomfotable.*

bela: hahhahahah… of course…. *walks up to jacob and touches his face* but the thing is….. humans who come into my territory….. must …… how tf do i say this….. they need to gift me something…. or else u are cursed to work as my servant forever.

J: well we’re not human...hes a vampire and im half werewolf half double vampire…..so that wont apply to us right??

b: *gasps*..... HAHAHAHAHAHHA…… you truly don’t know who i am? bella swan (shes part swan ig) collects HALF WEREWOLF HALF DOUBLE VAMPIRE boys……. jacob….. *licks lips* you will be my prize

e: hhhhhhhhhh

J: so like….if i fuck you….can you tell us how to get home??

bella: *slaps him across the face in the same way that edward does* FUCK ME? hahahahha you’re fucking stupid. i knew it. all of u are. i don’t want u like that buddy, i need to use ur dna to make skins. *grabs him and tries to bring him into the mist*

e: wait…. u can’t

bella: y?

e: um……. bc….

J: *is kind of turned on bc bella slapped him like edward and pavlovs dogs ya know* ……….

e: *was about to say to bella that she cant take jacob, but then realizes he has no say in what jacob can or can’t do…. plus… jacob looks really happy with bella….. but still…. he can’t just let jacob get fucking killed again… even if he’s into it* um. bella. maybe? um u could take me as well?

b: no ur fucking gay i don’t want u. jacob wants to come w me , right jakey? (how does she know his name?)

J: *dream like* yeah…….wait…...did i tell you my name?

bella: *eyes widening in delight* NOOOOOO YOU DIDNT!!!!! LUCKY GUESS!!!!! NOW THAT I KNOW UR NAME……. *turns to edward* u know what happens when fairies know ur name right? *smirks* e

e: *also kind of into that smirk bc pavlovian response* wait… no… JACOB U IDIOT

bella: i feel some homosexual tension between yall …. how about this *curses jacob so that he is like idk evil and will kill edward so then bella wont have to fight him and then can kill jacob le8ter*

J: *eyes rolll back into head like tik tok boy* *lunges at edward* ……

(famous last words by mcr starts playing straight from bella’s mouth for some background music) a/n YESSSSSS

e: *dodges jacob* JACOB. STOP SNAP OUT OF IT

J: …………*jumps at edward again*

e: *barely dodges his snapping jaws*

(in the background …….but can I SPEAK is it hard understanding…….. im incompletel)

e: BNELLA STOP PLEASEEEE

J: *keeps jumping at edward with impossible amounts of force and energy* ……

(a love that’s so demanding…………. IEIODAIOJEWIOADJIOA WHWYY cann ii get WEAKK!!!! I AM NOT AFRAID OFtikwpoerkwopk)

e: *doesn’t want to use force to stop jaconn, but he’s forced to* jacob *does the thing whjere girls try to stop the guy from fighting* jacob its me! stop!!!!!!!!

bella: omg so cringe stop pls

J: *stops for a second but then goes back to fighting* ……

(awake and unafraid asleep)

e: *gets scratched by his werewolf claws, stares at the blood then gets mad* JACOB U STUPID FUCKING MUTT LOOK WHAT U DID TO MY PERFECT SKIN *restrains him with both arms*

J: *when yelled at fully stops but then shakes head and goes back to rage* …..

b: *notices that jacob stopped* omg… wtf *curses him stronger*

e: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

(the song is now… hmmm….. u decide… nanananananaanana LOL ok)

J: *goes at edward so hard knocks him over*........

e: hmmmm,......  jacob i don’t wanna fight u STOP

(na na na na so many security sto every enemy)

J: *stops for half a second blink and youll miss it but then goes back with even more anger*..

e: *thinking: wtf i do’? i cant fight bella to stop him cus then itll be 2 v 1 ./../….///.. .wait…. * *remmebres jacob;’s expression when bella slapped him,..... what if i…. what if* (jacob comes at him again but edward waits UNTIL he is close enough adn then slaps him across the face extremely hard that like he slams into a tree behind him* U STUPID FUCKING DOG

j:  *slides down tree and colapses on the ground….almost unconsiodusio* …….e…..edward….

(na na na is over and fades slowly bc  bella closes her mouth)

b: waht the fucking fukc did u fucking do u stupid sparkly gay boy????///// THAT WAS MY NEXT SKIN

e: *ignores her and goes to jacob* jacob…… r u ok…

J: *opens eyes slowly* ye….yeah…..i *inhales sharply bc pain or smth* im good…..

e: *checks him for wounds*

bella: *comes up behind edward and grabs him by the head then yeets him backwards* I SAID THATS MY SKIN STAY AWAY FROM him

J: EDWARD *tries to get up to fight her but stumbles*

b: stay down. that’s an order u dog

e: *comes back running* NYAHHHHHHHH

(bela and edward engage in a super epic battle u can imagine it however u want ok…..)

J: ………..

(they r far away enough that jacob can’t hear them….)

b: bro why r u fighting so hard to save ur friend or is that even a friend

e: *blushes* bro not right now

b: no seriously

e: …..

b: *thinking oh….* ew so yall r like that?

e: ….

b: *sigh* fine… u can have him… but under one condition

(what is this condition lemme think)

b: welcome to paradise…. dun dun dun dundu ndund a gunshot rings at the station………… ok i found it: u owe me ur firstborn child

e: ok (?)

(that’s how bella gets renesmee u decide how that happens)

e: *goes back to jacob* helo

J: are you ok…….what went down??????

e: nothing we totally didnt like f u ck or anything wtf why would u even ask that

J: *thinks wtf did they fuck….get kinda jealoudssss* oh…...so can we leave??

(the mist rises)

e: ok…. can you even walk?

J: yeah im fine *tries to stand but winces and leans against tree*

e: *is worried, but rolls eyes anyway* le,me call an uber

BREKAOUT ROOOM OVER NONOOOOOOOO ITS OK WE FINISHED THIS ARC TODAY WAS SO GOOD ABSOLUTELY BRILLAITN AS USUAL WE ARE AT 840 PERIODS LMAOAAAOOOO GOOD UGH HOW AMAZING IM EXCITED TO REREAD IT TOMOROW YESSS ME FUCKING TOO GAHAHAH

a/n Are they waiting for the uber or at home alreafy? first of all, use a/n, second up to u

(jacobs room)

J: ok im fine stop worrying  

(the whole werewolf clan is surrounding jacob who is lying on his bed, edward is standing facing the corner awkwardly and covering his nose)

biylly: No son. you were attacked by some fucking fairyand  i dont mean him *points to edward* like this is serious shit…. we should call a doctor… but who….

e: *quietly*……. i know… a doctor

a/n laksaodjjefiureyueryhu

J: who…….

e: *turns to face the gang, wich includes seth who i thnk is sexy* um……. carlisle…

J: wait your dad….leader of your incest clan….went to med school???

e: *hand twitches wanting to slap him, but can’t do so in front of his family, so restrains himself* ahem. yes. and we’re not an incest clan.

Billy: i aint bringing you to no vampire doctor we have to find someone else

J: no…..its ok…..i don't even need a doctor….

seth: *is a niner* dude… ur not even okl…. (what were his injuries again?) ur like body is like broken in multiple places…. but. *glares at edward* we can’t have more of Them in here……

e: *rolls eyes at seth* so what the fuck do u propose we do huh niner

seth: ……………… well if u really wanna know, i took grade 9 biology and also first aid….. i’m basically a doctor

a/n i really forget what happened to jacob but lets pretend hes basically dying (when isnt he)

J: uh no thanks seth…..really guys im ok….ive had worse….at least im alive…….

e: *still wants to slap him so bad but cant so instead slaps himself*

billy: wtf… *back to jacob* listen son. ur literally fukcing dying *gets emotional now* ….. we need to do something… *looks at seth* son… *(seth isn’t his son?) will u treat him?

seth: *smirks* ya of course billy…. *turns to jacob* listen ….. we can’t have u dying here…. us alphas need to look out for each other.

J; uhhhhhhhhh well like im kind of more beta…….but…...are you sure you know what youre doing????

billy: JACOB (does he have  a middle name) BLACK NEVER CALL URSELF A BETA EVER A FUCKING GAIN THE BLAHJBLAHBLAH TRIBE HAS BLAHDDBASBDOISDHIAOSJDIASJAJ …..

seth: yea h jacob ur definitely an a**a wtf ok . so first i need to see ur injuries…. where r u hurt?

J: basically everywhere…..she kind of fucked me up….but its cool

e: *still doesn’t know what to do so goes back to facing the wall*

seth: okay well… im gonna need u to like… ahem…. u know…. .disrobe…

J: oh...yeahok….*glances at edward who is still facing the wall**starts to take off shirt revealing 12 pack abs*

a;/n: lMFAO

(collective gasp as they see jacob’s injuries)

e: *begins slamming his head into the wall*

billy: oh my god son. …… this is horrible

seth: alright uhhhhhhhh *is overwhelmed* um …. ,... well u have… um ….  ur bleeding… and ur ribs are briken… so i gusss…… polysporin? edward can u pass it to me

e: *still staring at the wall* no

J: dude why are you always so difficult….plus after seth heals me hes gonna have to check you for a concussionos…..wtf r u doing????

e: *rolls eyes and turns around, but hes hit his head on the wall so hard that blood is dripping from his head into his eyes, blinding him (da blood from da dear ofc* he doesn’t need to fucking heal me. and i’ll get the polysporin. where is it?

J: in the bathroom i think…...down the hall to the left…

e: *goes to get it, blindly obviously and yeah he got it* *hands the polysporin to who he thinks is seth but he can’t actually see who he’s handing it to*

J: man are you ok??? Like maybe sit down for a bit…...thats not seth thats my dad

e: *angirly moves so hes handing it to seth, but in the process slaps seth in the face maybe not so accidentlly*

s: OH my fucking GOd  *mutters* i fucking hate vampires stupid fucks *begins putting polysporin on jacob*

J: uhhhhh is this gonna work…..like my ribs are broken...maybe we should call edwards dad….*looks down knowing they gonna be mad at the idea*

e: *has reverted to sitting in the corner staring at the wall blindly so not actually staring ig*

billy: shut the fuck up jacob. seth is doing an awesome job. looks better already kid

seth: *smirks, looking in edward’s direction* yeah im doing awesome

J: but like…….whatever….if youre done leave edward and i alone for a second…

seth: *finishes bandagnig jacob up* ok. .. but if u need anything… .anythng,... just call ok buddy?

billy: *leaves*

J: so i think i need a real doctor now

s: no u don’t im all u need *leaves*

J: i definitely need a real doctor now…..can you call your dad?

e: he’s not my dad…. and i cant.

J: bruh why not u said u would earlier

e: *can’t really remember due to insane brain damage* uh…… well he’s in italy now. so . ……….. i mean… yeah.

J: dude come here let me see your head

e: no

J: not in a gay way in a im actually worried about your health way

e: *doesn’t actually know where he is in the room bc he refuses to wipe the blood from his eyes* um………………. fine….. *starts walking then trips on jacob’s textbook* wtf….

J: come here sit down *reaches over and grabs his arm guiding him to the bed* here dumbass *wipes blood away from his eyes* does it hurt really bad??

e: *flatly* im a vampire . nothing hurts me. *looks at his bandagings * what the fuck did he do. *rolls eyes* this is unacceptable… *under his breath* stupid dumb fucking niner idiot who fcuckgirn ais trying to one up me i kwjeoijfdoijdeow grrr

J: sorry i didnt hear that last part whats up?

e: oh my god just stfu and *tyler tehecreator voice* elt me do what i need to fucking do *violently rips his bandages off* lemme do it properly because carlisle is in….. china… like i siad

J: uh you said he was in like france or something...also this fucking hurts can you stop being so angry???

e: *no reply. begins piecing his ribs back together w surgical tools he pulled from his pocket* dont move

J: yeah whatever…...why do you have all this shit….nerd…

e: *bc jacob’s ribs were literally sepeareted from what is it called in the centre of the ribs forgot, but his heart is exposed* stfu…. why is ur heart still beating……. *grabs his beating heart*

J: bro what the fuck….don't do that whats wrong with you….maybe bc im still half werewolf???? idk…

e: *eyes change colour….. he goes very still*

(they are both covered in jacob;s blood)

J: uhhhhhhhh edward…..youre scaring me man…...maybe you should go...or just say something please…

e: * eyes r still that whatever colour, but goes back to work silently, and releases the heart* ………………………….. *finishes and starts sewing the skin back up, then looks jacob in the eyes* u rlly should stop begging me bruh,........ it onlymakes me hungrier

J: oh uuhhhhhh sorry????

e: *bandages are finished, assess his work….* ugh finally ur better…… *slaps him* ive been waiting to do that

J: dude wtf…..why are you like this

e: ………….. well i need to do my english project if u don’t mind *goes to face the wall and closes his eyes*..... ……… …

J: you know you can like sit down right…..you don't have to stand t=in the corner

e: *sighs audibly then moves backwards with his eyes still closed and sits on the corner of jacob’s bed but he’s basically just hovering over it*

J: youre so fucking dramatic….youre stuck with me for like two weeks or something so you should probably get used to being around me

e: *opens his eyes and glares at jacob* it’s one month first of all. and i don’t want to get used to you. you fucking stink and ur covered in blood.

J: *smirks* i thouht you liked blood...and you smell like shit too you know

BREAKOUIT ROROM ENDINGUIRNGTRIGNT NOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK UAK WHATS COMING NEXT EW IT WAS ME AND ROB FOR A SECOND EW OMG BRO WE BE WRITING 1K WORDS PER DAY BRUHHHHH OUR FIUCKING POWER ITS SO AMAZING

e: *smells himself* no i dont’ smell like i shit

J: *smirks* you do to me...ugly vampire smell

e: you really should respect me more…. im the one who fixed ur fucking ribs not like seth who used fucking POLYSPORIN

J: its ok….you don't need to be jealous of seth…..i don't like him like that

e: what the fuck>>??? im not jealous of him i literally never said that…… isn’t he ur fucking brother?

a/n hes not lmao edward doesn tknow that

J: wtf????? U thot he was my brother???? Not all native american werewolves are related asshole

e: yall arent….. then why tf are yall in the same tribe huh riddle me that

J: i……...we….how do you think tribes work?????

e: u tell me

a/n I GOT JUMPSCARED BY ROBS VOICE SO HARD LMAO  LOL CAN HE STFU IDC AT ALL ME TOO YALL SHUT UP i straight up dont care this sucksnot interested in yalls feedback for us stfu with the “no one is left out” GUESS WHAT U WILL BE LEFT OUT IN LIFE THATS HOW IT IS ESPECIALLY IF UR FUCKING UGLY LIKE SOME OF YALL stfu with math bulshit 6 is divided by 4 simply will it to be TINA STFU LOL YES HAHAHA we will excluse ourselves “andie doesnt count” how dare u sigh there is no feedback they could possibly give us LMAO RIGHT ugh fuck this and i don't need yall yall can be a group if u wanna we always do anyways yall back to work stfu

J: we….just like hangout…...we aren’t related…….at all……

e: ……….oh……………………………………. well i had no idea thats how tribes work

J: you could have just asked…..

e: *doesn’t reply and goes back to work on his english project*

J: *rolls eyes* youre so fucking lame can u not be a nerd for 5 minutes???

e: *throws pencil like a dart and it sticks in jacobs forehead* LITERALLY WTF DO U WANT ME TO DO HUH. I DONT WANNA FUCKING BE HERE. BUT WE CANT GO OUTSIDE CUS ITS NIGHT (flashbacK: andrew’s curfew for who fucking knows why)

J: *dies*

e: *rolls eyes* i literally know ur not dead cus the curse is still on

J: *still dead*

e: *sighs* ……. * thinks about fall out boy specifically how whats his name never eununciates anything* helloooooooooooooo wake tf up ugly

J: *dead*

e: this aint a scene its a godamn ahms rahce , like why does he say it like that

J: idk man but its a banger tho

e: disagree its so fcuking annoinyg. ahms rahce ahms ahms and like when he says down he doesnt even say down its like dawhhhh

J: i mean yeah but its a classic….and his voice….iconic….

e: *shrugs* yeah ur right…. you know………………. back in the 60s i used to be in a band…

J: oh shit deadasss? Were yall any good????

e: *slaps his uninjured leg* obvioisl;y we were fucking good…. we were really popular too…. *sigh* i had so many bitches

J: *mad kind of bc bitches* well if u were so popular would i know any of your songs??? What was the band called???

e: ……….well ….. *pulls out guitar and drum kit and like every instrument and begins playing them* it goes alittle like this….. here comes the sun dododododood here comes the sun … .

a/n IM CRYING

J: wtf that shits sucks….ive literally never heard that before

e: *rolls eyes* obviously it sucks now , but back in the segragation days,,,,,,, this shit was spectuacualr.. ….. and btw, this is the BEATLES … which by the way,,,,,, i was in

J: wtf i have never heard of yall….u named ur band after a bug thats so weird…..ur shit is trash man

e: *slaps him but this time on the face* shtut he fuck up and stop talking shit about my band… ive literally never seen u do anything of worth in ur what…. how fucking old are u,.... like 16 years of life

J: i get so many bitches u would not believe

e: *rolsl eyes* LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL……. u know i can read everyone’s minds right? everyone  and i mean everyone wants me at school….. like no one is thinking about u

J: *angry* maybe thats true but they only want u bc they think ur hot….if they actually got to know u no one and i mean no one would ever even look at you….youre disgusting and terrible and honestly not even that hot up close

e: *rolls eyes* listen old sport =..... when ur my age…. and also immortal… and sexy….. relationships with humans dont fucking matter. i dont need them to like me, cus guess what ? they re gonna fucking die anyways or ill proabbly eat them… they just need to think im hot. and by the way, i am fucking hot up close….. *tilts his head to remind jacob of their first talking or whatever encounter at edward’s house…….*

J: *angerily silent*.......

e: *starts laughing* like……..  i didnt even do anything and u were like….. .ahahahhahahahahhahahah

J; *still silent* …………………….

(momentarily silence, until edward notices his hands are still really bloody… )

e: *to himself* ugh…. this is gross……. *starts licking the blood off his hands* mmmmm

J: *makes disgusted face but still doesnt say anything*........

e: *finishes cleaning his hands and wipes it on jacob’s sheets* hmmm….. *checks phone* holy shit my amazon order is here…..

J: *mumbles* go get it then……

e: *goes to the downstairs or whatever and it should be ok bc its within like 20m but as soon as he gets to jacob’s door they both feel intense pain* wtf……… im not….. even…… 20m…. away …. from u ….

J: …...stupid….double….vampire...shit…..

e: ….. *comes closer to esase the pain* ugh…. im so…. fukcing… mad… u sfuckign idit…… *punches hole in jacob’s wall.* …. ok u need to come with me downstairs so i can get my package

J: i literally cant fucking walk selfish idiot

e: grrr.r…… i need…. my mf.../.. amazon prime bed thing……… fine…. *throws jacob over his shoulder* u dont need to walk

J: ahhhh wtf...ur so fucking weird...this is gay man

e: its literally not so stfu *goes downstairs to get his package*

(billy and other wolf members: :|

J: what the fuck is wrong with u u could have gotten someone to bring it p for u wtf

e: *rolls eyes and bends to get the package* …. i have amazon prime^2,,,,,, the package will explode if it doesnt recognize my fingerprint *scans his fingerprint* and my eyeball *scans eyeball and gets package to go upstairs*

J: i hate rich people so fucking much what is wrong with you

e: *throws jacob back onto his bed and rips open the package with his vampire teeth* fuckign finally

J: ok can we get some fucking sleep now???? This day has been way too much

e: *looks him up and down* yeah for u maybe…. vampires dont even need sleep *sets up bed, its literally huge and takes up most of jacobs room*

J: THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED A BED FOR THEN?????????

e: *slaps him* stop fuckign questioning me…. i need it to relax in…. and watch tik toks…

J: what the fuck….you know what i don't care…..good fucking night….

e: *doesn’t reply and gets settled in his huge bed and opens tik tok and watches them at high volume no headphones*

J: BRUH CAN U GET SOME FUCKING HEADPHONES WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU e: *looks up to jacob across the room* i forgot them at home… holdup lkemme amazon prime some new ones

J: bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just like turn the volume down

e: *exhales through nose at a funny tiktok and doesn’t hear jacob*

J: what. the . fuck. *puts pillow over head and tried to sleep*

e: *is now standing on his bed attempting to learn a tik tok dance but hes super tall so his head keeps slamming against the ceiling* renegade rengage

BREAKOUT ROROMRM ENDEIDN STOP NMITERUPTTING MY FUCKING SETENCE I KNOW LOL DID BUT THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYnegade reennegadge

Sorry bro ok bye

(now is morning)

e: *been watching tik toks all night long*

J: *has not slept at all* bruhhhhhhhhhh

e: *has learned every dance possible, now is 2nd after charli damelio in popularity* stfu im working

J: i cant do this…….we need to figure something else out…….

e: *puts his phone downe for the first time in hours* *sighs* …….. jacob,.... u need to understand this…… *sad music begins to play, lights down, spotlight on edward* *ewdward looks out the window wistfully* im….. im a father  now jacob….. i dont have time to “figure things out”...... fatherhood was thrown into my life….

J: wtf…….u r literallykt not in ur childs life at al…...do u even pay child support…..rich bitch…...ur not a father…...u just fucked a girl…….

e: *rolls eyes* first of all, she’s half vamp half faerie like she literally doesnt need money to livem, second that wasn’t just any girl that was bella swan………. i feel terribly guilty jacob,...... i should be in rmeumememeueneneseeeses’s life

J: bruh…...so ur like in love with bella now????? And wtf…….what r u gonna do raise her now???? Nah i don wanna be part of this

e: dude… im not in love with her… it’s just my duty as a father………. And who said ur gonna be a part of this? ……… *thinks* maybe i should get married to her?

J: u literally just said she don't need u so why u acting different???? Also im gonna have to be a part of this bc we cannot be more than 10m apart idiot

e: that’s literally temporary………………………………..

J: oh so ur just gonna wait til this is over….shes gonna hate u

e: *slaps him* u don’t know that…… plus it’ll be a good way to pass a couple centuries…..

J: bro but i DO know that….my mom left us or died or sometihng…..and like….if she came back into my life now….id hate her……

e: yeah but ur a fucking werewofl us vampires and feareires dont think like that….. why are u so against this?

J: honestly do whatever u want……...ill be fine as long as youre away from me……

e: well…….. good… glad we’re on the same page *goes back to his bed to watch tiktoks*

J: *sighs and lies on bed staring at the ceiling* *thinks* this is probably a good thing….edward has brought me nothing but pain….

e: *doesn’t scroll on the tiktok whe’s watching so the sound keeps playing over and over again and hes thinking……: why….. do i feel so guilty? i thought it was about renesueme but…………... *out loud* uh. /…… .were we supposed to um go to mclonad’s or something?

J:.......oh yeah….i guess…..if you wanted to….

e: *suddenly annoyed* it was ur fucking idea to go……….

J: bro whatever chill…..lets go then….

e: ok……. like we dont have to go if u dont want to…. its just u mentioned it…..

J: no like we can go….anythings better than hunting with u….

e: ok but do you want to go or u just saying that cus then its a fucking waste of time

J: OH MY GOD LETS JUST GO

e: *slaps him* dont use that attitude with me ,...... u fucking dog

J: *rolls eyes* what the fuck ever…..ur driving

e: i didn’t bring my car with me stupid…….

J: well what the fuck r we gonna do then?????????

e: …… dont u have a car or smthn……. or we could run there

J: im poor remember????? And im also still injured>>>so like wtf now

e: (flashback: new moon, jacob literally has a motorcycle) …./…. dont u have a motorcycle or a truck helllooooooooo

J: ur so fucking insensitive…….we had to sell those to buy groceries…….fuck you…..

e: *under his breath* i guess no sharing motorcycle drivigng…. *sigh* ok uber eatss?

J: yeah whatever…….oh wait….seth has a motorcycle i think….maybe we could ask to borrow it…..

e: *annnoyed* ew…. i dont wanna use seth’s motorcycle……

J: bruhhhhhhhhh y r  u always so fucking difficult

e: im not difficult bruh

J: u fucking r

e: fine. use fuckings seth’s motorycycle from him hes ugly anyway

J: alright sick

[isamabella]

Any tips for those of us going into our freshman year of college? Thank you for your time!

 Sooooo I definitely accidentally wrote you a literal 2 page essay with horrible grammar so im very very sorry ahead of time and I'm sure you regret asking😬

I think the first thing that comes to mind is be flexible. I used to plan out classes months ahead of time and make back up plans. That’s great, but freshman got last pick for classes. Even more if your last name was toward the end of the alphabet like mine. This meant classes I planned ahead of time were waitlisted or closed by the time I could enroll. This often left me frantic even though it it worked out every time. The Nevada higher education system also “encourages” students to take 15 credits per semester instead of 12. By encourage, I mean threatening to take financial aid away. I think knowing that was hanging over my head and ability to pay for school only made it worse. So yes, make a plan, but don’t be so rigid that you’re basically anxious every day because of it. Most people change majors multiple times. I changed it 3 times in a year and a half. If you decide to do a minor, don’t feel pressure to make it related to whatever your career goals are. I did my bachelors in public health with a minor in addiction treatment services. They went well together, but I chose the minor because I was interested in it. If you want to be an art major with a biology minor, go for it.

Find balance! I struggle with this constantly and I’m 6 years and two degrees in. I won’t tell you not to procrastinate, because that’s how I operate. So many people would tell me to “just get it done early”. It’s just not how I work even now. I will say try not to binge study. Even when you’re studying the night before an exam, take breaks. It probably sounds like common sense, but just like times when I procrastinate, I also have the terrible habit of trying to learn everything at once. I did this the other day actually. I learned 148 anatomical terms and locations in about 7 hours for a 15 question quiz. I should’ve taken breaks and spread out the time frame.

Professors! You’re going to have some loose butthole professors. Generally though, just be respectful of them. College students can be massive assholes toward the professors, don’t be another one. I’d also encourage utilizing office hours. I never did and I actually think I put myself at a disadvantage. Oh! I was a TA my senior year for my friend’s class. From my perspective as a TA, once again don’t be a jerk. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. From experience, professors want to help. Side note, some like hearing you liked the topic and stuff like that. Especially when it’s a rough class. Be genuine though. Don’t do it to suck up. It’s hard to teach huge classes. My friend’s was 180 the semester I was his TA. There were a couple times when he just said he was done teaching for the day, because of how terrible some of the students were being in class. Most professors are trying their best. Remember that. They’re human too.

Kind of odd, but please know how to write an email! One of my many roommates I’ve had over the years took the class I TA’d with her friend. Her friend emailed me asking about the midterm. The problem was that her email didn't have her actual name, there was no general greeting like “hey”, there was no signature, AND no subject line. So I didn’t answer it. She ended up asking me when she was at my apartment one night why I didn't answer. You won’t get an answer if you don’t do the bare minimum of writing a decent email.

Know your student ID number. You may or may not need it, but know it or have it on your phone in case.

For the love of god, if you need a question answered for a class, check the syllabus multiple times before emailing. Kind of related, I work at one of my school’s offices, and the idea of researching applies here too. I can’t tell you how many times students ask why they got kicked out of classes or why they didn’t graduate. It usually comes down to whether they actually paid their fees. Sometimes they don’t even declare a program! They don’t look at their school account regularly where they would see all this info. One graduate student actually told me they didn’t know why the school was threatening to kick them out of classes. What happened is that they enrolled in a class after school started and didn’t pay for it. They thought they did by magic I guess, because even though they thought they paid it, they also said they didn’t make an actual payment. PLEASE DON’T BE THAT STUDENT. Know how to register for classes, be aware of enrollment deadlines, and tuition deadlines too. On that note, MEET WITH YOUR ADVISOR BEFORE YOU ENROLL EACH SEMESTER. They’re there to help you! My undergrad advisor switched my curriculum to the newer one my junior year so I didn’t have to take an extra class.

Don’t be afraid to try out new things. I was always afraid to go into theatre or participate in other clubs. I regret that so much to this day. For me, it wasn’t even about making friends. It was about gaining new experiences and exploring what I liked. So if your school does a club fair- virtual or otherwise- go for it and try something out. You don’t have to commit, but it’s worth a try!

Know your resources! That professor I’m friends with? He talks to students about addiction, suicide, sexual assault, and just life in general. Before working with him as a part of  two student organizations, I didn’t know how to help myself or others in situations like I mentioned earlier. School wasn’t very good about putting out those resources, because colleges in general don't want to admit these are issues students deal with. My school has counseling, $5 therapy by the grad students getting licensed, and a school psychiatrist. I’d recommend knowing how to get in touch with all your school’s mental health resources. Remember, you don’t have to be in crisis to go to therapy.

BIGGEST LESSON:

You’ll be studying and doing homework a lot, so really try enjoy everything else. I’m a huge introvert so I basically have about 1 really good friend from school and he was my professor (the one I TA’d for). I love him to death, but I wish I wasn’t so worried about what others thought (and still think) about me. I don’t drink or use drugs so it was really hard finding people that didn’t pressure or question my decisions about it. Find your people. If they’re not right for you, don’t be afraid to let them go. That’s probably the biggest piece of advice I would give myself 5 years ago. The good times aren’t worth it if your friends cause you to feel bad during the rest of the time. I can honestly say the “friend” group I had for most of undergrad was the root of my sudden depressive episodes, disordered eating behaviors, constant anger that I internalized, and engaging in behaviors that I didn’t know were considered to be on the suicidal ideation scale. It was an endless cycle. They weren't bad people, but they were bad for me. I think it took years to finally come to terms with it, because prior to college, I never had problems with friends and I was never involved in drama so I had no clue how I was supposed to handle all the problems. The cherry on top was that I lived with these people so I couldn’t just leave. In retrospect, I think those friendships were borderline emotionally and mental abusive. The constant walking on eggshells because of the hot and cold environment was a lot. Know your worth and enjoy your college time!

Sorry for the novel, but there was just so much to write about. If there’s something specific, let me know and I’ll try and help. :)

@archetypal-archivist

[hermannsthumb]

Vacation au prompt?? Hermann’s trying to relax at the beach and keeps getting distracted by a certain tattooed surfer who seems like they can’t actually surf very well...

HEHE...... ;)))))))) also i should mention the description of newt’s cottage is a very real cottage just down the road from the beach house im staying in now

------------------------------------------

The point of it all is that Hermann needs to relax. That’s what his colleagues told him. That he’s too high-strung, too tense, too fixated on his work. He needs to make friends. He (bachelor he is) needs to meet Someone. He needs a break. He needs a vacation. Maybe there’s truth to it--in Hermann’s ten years as a professor, and his five years holed up in various laboratories before that, he has never once taken a break. He’s never once taken time to enjoy himself outside of his numbers and his chalkboards (which he really does enjoy).

Whatever Hermann’s reasoning, the semester’s end has tossed three months of absolutely nothing to do into his lap once more, and--instead of locking himself away in his home office with his research, as he typically might--he dips into his untouched and expansive savings account and rents himself a beach cottage. It’s quiet, and quaint, just like the town it’s in, barely more than a single bed, bathroom, and kitchen. It’s just what he thinks he needs. The sea air will be good for his joints, perhaps, particularly his leg. He can get a little sun. He’s always so dreadfully pale.

He experiences a few major setbacks the moment he reaches the town.

There is the cottage, which is far more unkempt than the photographs online led Hermann to believe. The porch is sagging badly, with wooden planks that creak worryingly beneath Hermann’s feet; the front lock sticks; the hot water takes a good minute to kick in; the showerhead leaks. (The bed, at least, is comfortable, and there is a pleasant view of the ocean from one of the two windows.) Then there is the matter of the sun and the sea breeze, or really the lack thereof--it rains the entirety of his first week, and Hermann does not leave the cottage (which also leaks, he discovers) once. It’s fine, really. He brought his research just in case, so it’s not as if he’ll get bored.

The sun reemerges on a rather breezy Tuesday, though it’s weak and watery, and only in bursts behind clouds, which means it’s an ideal day to finally make the quick trek down to the beach and get set on properly relaxing. No threat of sunburn. Hermann applies sunblock and shrouds himself in white linen and a sunhat anyway just in case.

It’s difficult to navigate across the sand with his cane at first, but Hermann manages eventually, and he sets up his chair on the flattest looking spot he can find and settles in to read his book. It’s a good beach day all around, by virtue of it being a bad beach day for anyone else--no shrieking children or obnoxious teenagers. It’s practically deserted.

Practically.

There has been a man surfing since Hermann got here. Or perhaps trying to surf--he has not, in fact, successfully caught a single wave. Or really even managed to stand up on his board (which is painted an eye-stinging neon green). Hermann watches him slip off of it no less than three times; on attempt number four, he manages to crouch, at least until he’s wiped out again. It’s like some sort of terrible trainwreck. Hermann can’t bring himself to look away. On attempt number eight, the wave that hits the man is big enough to drag him and his surfboard all the way to the shore, and he hits the wet sand with an audible smack that makes Hermann wince. When he doesn’t immediately pop back up, Hermann sighs, tosses aside his book, and prepares to struggle across more sand. 

He’s still laying on his stomach by the time Hermann gets to him. He looks as if he’s still breathing, so he probably hasn’t snapped his neck or anything like that. “Are you alright?” Hermann says, and, after a second, prods the man’s arm with the end of his cane.

“Peachy,” the man mumbles. “Why’d you ask?”

“It looked painful, is all,” Hermann says. “I wanted to make sure you were--well, conscious.”

The man turns himself over with a small groan, and--even through the layer of sand that coats his forehead and nose, and despite his wild wet mass of hair--Hermann is startled to find he’s quite attractive. Hazel eyes. Freckled, unshaven cheeks. A nice roundness about him that his tight swim trunks accentuate. Torso and arms full of extensive, elaborate tattoos. He squints at Hermann for a few seconds in what looks like mild confusion. “Aw, fuck. I lost my glasses.”

There’s a black, chunky-framed pair of eyeglasses sticking out of the sand next to the man. Hermann flicks them towards him with his cane, though, privately, he can’t begin to wonder how the man thought it was a good idea to take them in with him. “Are these yours?”

The man fumbles along the ground for a few moments and lets out a triumphant little shout when he touches the frames. He slides them on and blinks at Hermann; then his face splits into a wide grin. “Hey, there.”

“Hello,” Hermann says, warily. 

“I’m Newt,” the man says. He wipes a great deal of sand off of his face and smooths back his hair. “Uh. Did you see me surfing?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it surfing,” Hermann says, and Newt laughs.

“It’s my first day,” he says. “I know I suck. Still. Not bad, I don’t think, for a first day.”

“Mm,” Hermann says. He fidgets. “Well, if you’re fine, I really ought to be--”

Newt scrambles to his feet. At full height, he’s much shorter than Hermann realized. “What’s your name?” he says. “Since you saved me and all, I feel like it’s only fair if I know.”

His smile is even nicer up close. Hermann clears his throat. “Dr. Hermann Gottlieb,” he says, wondering if he should mention that he really did nothing, in fact, and certainly didn’t save Newt from anything. “I’m--ah--I’ve just gotten here.”

“Doctor,” Newt says. “Hey, me too. The doctor part, I mean, I live here. I study marine biology. Perfect place for it, right? It’s amazing to study all this shit in its--” He wiggles his hand. “Natural habitat. I watched sea turtles hatch last week. Dr. Newton Geiszler. Please just keep calling me Newt, though, I hate--the whole thing. Can I just call you Hermann? Unless you want the whole thing. I like the name Hermann.” 

“Mm,” Hermann says again.

Newt rubs the back of his neck, deflating a little. “So. Uh. What do you study?”

“Astrophysics,” Hermann says.

“Cool,” Newt says. “Here for vacation, then?”

“For around three months,” Hermann says. “It’s...nice,” he finishes, lamely. It’s not a lie. He supposes it has the potential to be nice around here eventually. He might even enjoy himself at one point. “It was nice to meet you, Newton.” He nods at Newt, hoping he takes the hint, and turns to leave.

Newt does not take the hint. “Newt,” Newt corrects, trailing after him, surf board in tow. “Hey, do you mind if I sit with you?”

Hermann gives a sigh, though he finds he does not truly abhor the idea of spending a little more time with the strange little man. “I suppose not,” he says.

“Sweet,” Newt says. He plops down next to Hermann’s beach chair and stretches his arms above his head, grunting a little with the effort. Hermann looks away quickly. “Where are you staying, by the way?”

“The small yellow cottage at the end of the road.”

“The really shitty one?” Newt says. Hermann bristles; Newt grins sheepishly. “Sorry. I mean the, uh, charming little one?”

“That’s the one,” Hermann says. He hums. “It is somewhat...different than I expected.” He can put up with the leaky roof and sagging floor for the price he got. Practically a steal.

“I bet,” Newt says. “Anyway, we’re neighbors. I have the one across from you.”

Hermann winces a little. Of course Newt does--of course he owns the equally tiny and equally dilapidated bright turquoise monstrosity across the street from Hermann, the one with sea creatures and tropical flora painted all up the sides, the overgrown shrubbery, the multiple surfboards stacked on the sparse grass. “That’s yours?” he says. He should’ve recognized Newt’s handiwork: the sea creatures inked across Newt’s arms and chest are startling similar to those on the cottage.

“Sure is,” Newt says, grin turning cheeky.

“It’s certainly...unique,” Hermann says.

Newt doesn’t say anything after that, so Hermann makes a show of picking up his book, shaking off the sand, and flipping to the page he marked off. He gets a paragraph before Newt starts to run his mouth again. “You know, there are some really cool tidepools further down the beach. Ten minute walk, maybe. If you wanted to look at them--”

Hermann snaps his book shut; Newt recoils. “Newton. I appreciate your--friendliness, but I really would like to finish this chapter, so if you wouldn’t mind--”

“Sorry!” Newt stammers, guiltily. “Sorry, sorry. Of course. I’ll shut up.”

He does. In fact, he even goes as far as to slink off back to the shoreline. Hermann, book forgotten, watches him poke around at the shells pushed there by high tide and occasionally pocket some. He also watches the way Newt’s swim trunks pull taut over his ass each time he bends over. It’s as if he’s doing it on purpose--as if he knows Hermann is sneaking glances, and wants to put on a show.

Hermann pretends to be deeply invested in his book when Newt returns. He also pretends that his ears and cheeks aren’t burning a bright pink. A wet hand prods Hermann’s arm. “Ah. Yes?” Hermann says, eyes flicking up.

Newt is presenting a small piece of fossilized coral, some seaglass, and a miniature conch shell barely larger than his fingernail out to him. He looks embarrassed. “Here.”

“Is this--?”

“It’s for you,” Newt says, and, wordlessly, Hermann takes all three from him. “Sorry I was being an annoying dick. I don’t have many people to talk to, and I got--excited.”

“Oh,” Hermann says. He rubs his thumb over the seaglass. It’s the same shade as the flecks of green in Newt’s eyes. Something warm bubbles in Hermann’s chest. “Er. Newton. Where were those tidepools?”

Newt is more than eager to lead him off down the beach, and twice as much so to talk his ear off and interrogate him about anything that comes to his mind. The seaglass and coral has put Hermann in a good mood and he answers it all readily. Newt plays the ukulele; Hermann can’t, but he was forced into piano lessons as a child, and has retained the skill into adulthood. Newt loves jellyfish and starfish and swimming; Hermann loves his telescope. Newt bicycles everywhere, because he never learned to drive; Hermann drives everywhere, because he could never bicycle. Newt is single. Hermann is single. 

Neither says anything for a few moments after this last revelation. Hermann is mildly surprised; as talkative and, er, bold as Newt is, he is fairly attractive, and someone other than Hermann must’ve taken an interest in those pretty eyes and round freckled cheeks by now. To say nothing of his obvious enthusiasm for his field of study, which Hermann finds fairly attractive as well.

(Hermann, to a slightly greater extent, is also pleased by this revelation.)

“Here we are!” Newt suddenly exclaims, and he squats down on a rock at the edge of one of the tidepools. It’s large, the size of a small swimming pool, but the water is clear and shallow and Hermann can see the bottom without a problem. He can see why Newt brought him here, too; there are about three starfish scattered across in it, as well as some strange, fuzzy-looking plants. Right up Newt’s alley of interests.

“Lovely,” Hermann says. Newt’s hair has dried since his disastrous attempts at surfing, and he can see now that it’s a nice shade of brown, lighter than Hermann’s own, and wavy and soft-looking. The breeze ruffles it gently. He realizes Newt’s talking to him. “Ah. What did you say?”

Newt flashes him another grin. “I said--” He leans in closer to the tidepool, index finger extended in the direction of one of the fuzzy plants (he wears several rope bracelets around his wrist), and immediately slips off the rock and into the water with a yelp.

Hermann startles. “Newton!”

Newt pops up with his knees bunched up to his chest, one hand pressing his glasses to his face. He’s laughing. “I’m good,” he says. He pushes his hair back. “I think I gave the starfish a fucking heart attack, but I’m good.”

Hermann inches his way across the slippery rocks, his own free hand outstretched. “Here, Newton, let me--”

The end of his cane hits air; he flings his arms out, uselessly, in an attempt to steady himself, and then topples forward right on top of Newt. 

Newt, to his credit, does try to catch him.

The water is not as cold as Hermann expected, though it shocks him anyway, and his trousers and shirt are soaked almost instantly; his sunhat is swept clean off his head; his cane clatters against the rocks; he lands with his face pressed to Newt’s shoulder, in Newt’s outstretched arms, Newt’s widened eyes mere inches away. More shocking than the water is how warm Newt is, though. Warm and solid. He smells like saltwater--to be expected--and sweat. “Shit, dude!” Newt exclaims, tugging at the white linen at Hermann’s back. “Are you okay?”

Hermann struggles to push himself up. Not because the rocky tidepool bottom beneath them is slippery, which it is, but because he’s laughing too damned hard. “I’m terribly sorry,” he wheezes, “I don’t know--”

Newt’s concern melts away; he, too, starts giggling a little. “No worries,” he says. “Uh. Let’s just--”

They manage to make it out of the tidepool eventually, after a great deal of splashing and slipping, and Hermann is reunited with his cane and sunhat. None of the starfish appear to have been harmed. The same can’t be said for Hermann’s white linen, unfortunately; he doubts he’ll ever wash the grey tinge of seawater out of them. He’s not too upset about it.

Hermann allows Newt to take his arm on the walk back, after their fingers brush together a few times and Newt casts several shy, obvious glances down at their hands. He’s finding himself strangely charmed by Newt. Even strangely fond. "I’ve been meaning to ask,” Newt says, still so shy. “Uh. Would you want to--I mean--there are plenty of good spots for dinner, and it’s getting late--”

Hermann squeezes Newt’s arm and gives him a small smile. “Yes,” he says.

[writingforjoy]

Chapter One: The Interview

At long last, ladies and gentlemen, I give you a very rough draft of the first chapter of (Im)Mortal! I hope you enjoy~

p.s I promise it looks better in docs💀🤦🏽‍♀️

@orchidalienscribbler @alexprompts @rhikasa @morganwriteblr @stephrawlingwrites @wiseauthorowl @givethispromptatry

       Mallory and I were over my cousin Cassidy’s house one weekend, working on a project that neither of us like and only Cassidy had experience with. We were in Cas’ room when Mallory shot up from Cas’ bed and looked at me with a huge grin on her face. “Hey bruh, let’s do something while we wait on Chef.”

The smile on her face told me that whatever she was planning had to be worth getting into trouble. “What is it my bold and bored friend?”

“Let me interview you.”

“Seriously? Right now?”

“Yeahp. Just tell me your life story…okay maybe not, like, yo whole life but the um...most eventful? Yeah we’ll go with that.”

I shook my head and laughed. “Wooow, okay then. Should I include Skyla or nah?”

“Was the meeting eventful?”

“I found her in the woods. She liked me. I liked her. Then she became my precious baby lamb.”

“Save it for our next interview. It’ll be our pet edition.”

“Alright, cool. Ssoooo...how am I starting this off?”

Mallory rolled her eyes and tossed one of Cas’ pillows at me. “Witcha name ya dumb duck!”

“Rruuuuuude. ...But what about her?”

She sat quietly on the bed, thinking about the question. “Ummm...I don’t know? Just roll with it I guess?” She took her phone out and started recording me as I fidgeted around on the floor messing with our dying project.

“Okay then, here goes nothing.” I took a deep breath to relax myself. “Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the demon of a town called Easthaven.”

“Okay, Will, let’s get it then!” She said laughing.

My name is Helouise. I was born with clay-red skin, eyes the color of golden topazes, and raven black hair. I’ve been told a few times that ‘Helouise’ wasn’t supposed to be my name, but ‘ELouise’ instead to kinda match my mom’s name ‘Ellen’. So whoever wrote my name on my birth certificate misheard her completely. Lucky for them I had a great grandmother with that name. So my whole name is ‘Helouise Nevaeh Piercemen’, which I think is kinda amusing. My middle name, ‘Nevaeh’, is ‘Heaven’ spelled backwards.

         Growing up I was known as the ‘Problem Child’, as most other parents called me. I honestly was a hot-headed little girl. Whenever I would throw a tantrum, my parents would often give me ‘soothing potions’ calm me down. To some parents’ disbelief, I wasn’t as spoiled as they thought I might’ve been. My parents raised me just as like any other parents would raise their own children (just a little bit overprotective), but I didn’t feel as if they actually loved me all the time. So I would call them ‘Mother’ and ‘Father’ to irritate them often. It didn’t bother them much as I had hoped though, they just laughed it off.

“Pfft, but why would you do that?” Mallory asked through her giggles.

“Bruh I don’t know! I was an evil lil shit I guess.” I said laughing with her.

         When I first started school in fourth grade, all the other kids there just stared or stayed away from me. I could tell that they were afraid of me. I was afraid of them too honestly. I was homeschooled at first, and had never been to a school before until then. Someone had talked my parents into thinking that I should go out and make friends, prove to people that I’m not as weird or awkward as they thought I was. So, I was just as scared of my classmates as they were of me. I wasn’t wearing my shades back then, so I believe that it was mostly the color of my eyes that either scared people away or was the reason I got bullied a lot. No one stood up for me except my new teacher Ms. Wrangler. The old one mysteriously disappeared one day and she was there the next day. She was always there to comfort and protect me from the other kids, she was the nicest person to me in to whole school. She had always made me feel special at the end of the day, telling me that I had nothing to worry about as long as I stayed with her. On days when I didn’t eat in the cafeteria, she would go out and buy me food to eat and we’d eat in the classroom together. She would even buy me things ‘just because’, and told me not to tell anyone. I really liked her, I felt more love from her than I did either of my parents, so I did what I was told. Then one day she told me that she wanted to take me somewhere special and that I would need permission from my parents to go. So, she handed me a slip saying that the class was going to the local science museum.

On the day of the ‘field trip’, we didn’t go to the science museum. She took me to a park outside of town and said that we were going on a nature walk. Whenever she looked at me, I thought it was funny that her eyes had changed from their normal bright blue color to red, but I was young and didn’t know better. Later that evening she said that today was going to be my last day with her. I didn’t understand what she meant and couldn’t ask, somehow I had blacked out after that. All I remember after that is waking up in my dad’s car, being held tightly by my mom with her crying ‘I won’t…not again’, then I went back to sleep.  We moved from our first home later that week with the help of my uncle. I tried asking them what happened to my teacher, but all they would say was ‘We’ll explain it when you’re older’.

After being homeschooled again for a few years, and after being told some strict rules and to never take off my shades for anyone, I was allowed back into school. I was in high school by then, and I was lucky enough to make a few friends, even though others continued to stare and judge me whenever they thought I wasn’t around or couldn’t hear them, but I didn’t care as much as I did when I was little. So I thought things were finally looking up for me. Then again, what would high school be without a few surprises?

         One day while I was in biology class, I was called into the office and was told that my dad was coming to pick me up.  Since it was close to Christmas break, I thought we were taking an early vacation, but as soon as my dad got there and we made it to the hospital, all thoughts of any vacations were gone. For fourteen years, I’ve been alone and gotten used to being an only child, then my parents decided to go and add a new kid in the mix. I was never fond of the thought of having a sibling, let alone a sister, and this one caught me by surprise. I never noticed mama’s stomach getting big (even though she was a ‘stay at home mom’) and they never told me. They said that they wanted to surprise everyone. When I first saw the baby, she had deep blue eyes and rosy cheeks, and small tufts of hair that looked so shiny at the time they thought it was golden. She was such a beautiful baby…I didn’t like her. I hated how normal and happy she looked. Then they told me her name. They named her Rose.

A beautiful name for a baby girl. Was I so ugly when I was born that my parents let me have an ugly name? I thought to myself. Is she even that pretty to deserve a name like that?

I was so angry that I started to hate Rose. She looked normal and they gave her a normal name, and the way that they were looking at her, with so much love and affection, made me hate her even more. Mama tried giving Rose to me, but I didn’t take her. I was too angry. Then my dad rushed over to me, held me close while brushing my hair back, and told me to calm down before I set off the alarms. I pushed him away and ran out the room, I ran into the nearest bathroom I could find and curled up in the corner of it and cried. I cried from the anger and from the feeling that my parents weren’t happy with me, let alone loved me. A moment later, my dad opened the door and peeped in. When he saw me, he came and hugged me, saying things like ‘We still love you’ and ‘We thought you’d be happy to have a little sister or brother’ and other things that I barely heard. Once I stopped crying, I noticed a burned hole on his jacket and asked how that happened. He laughed and said his stupid cigarette lighter button had been pressed earlier when he wasn’t paying attention. Daddy was a frequent smoker, so I believed him. He brought me back into mama’s freezing room. I still didn’t want to hold Rose, but I was curious about her cheeks. So I asked mama if I could touch them, and she said yes. I placed a finger on one of her cheeks and jumped back a little as she laughed at me. Rose’s cheeks were ice cold. She said that it was just the room, but it didn’t matter. I still didn’t like her, and I had already made up my mind that I wouldn’t have anything to do with her (as less as possible anyway).

The next surprise, which I’d like to call ‘The Train Wreck’, happened almost immediately after I turned sixteen a few months ago. The first thing was that Rose’s hair wasn’t blonde after all, but instead it was white like our dad’s hair. I figured that it was some genetic mutation like the color of me and Mama’s eyes. Another thing was that I actually kind of liked the idea of having a sister and I kinda liked her, even though she was a brat at times. The last thing happened one day after school. My parents, Rose, and I were meditating in the basement (well Rose was half-asleep holding her new, blueberry scented teddy bear). I was really thinking about the ugly sofa that Mama had bought last week. For the first time ever, I had a few friends coming over to study and hang out in a few days, and the first thing they would see when they came in would be that disgusting, over brightly dyed hippie couch. My parents needed a new couch, but couldn’t really afford one after they had redecorated Rose’s room. I knew and understood that, but the couch was so damn hideous that the neighborhood cat my parents like to let in every so often wouldn’t even piss on it.

There has to be a way to talk them into getting new couch! I’ll be embarrassed for life if my friends saw that hideous thing. They need to get rid of it! Uugh, I hate that stupid looking couch!

If you hate the couch as much as you say you do, then do something about it. I jolted my head up and scanned the room, but no one else was there other than my folks, so I thought that I was just imagining things. You’re not imagining it, I’m the…’other’ you, I’ve just woken up from a peaceful sleep. If you hate the couch then get rid of it.

What do you mean ‘the other me’? And just how am I gonna to get rid of it?

Haven’t you figured it out yet? The reason why you look the way you do. Don’t you think you were destined to do something great in your life? I’m the…’special’ side of you. An active subconscious, if you like. We’re a special girl Helouise. Did you know that we can manipulate fire?

“I can do what?!” I blurted out. Mom and Dad looked at me with startled faces and Rose fell over backwards. I quickly apologized and went back to trying to meditate.

The subconscious giggled. Of course we can, all you have to do is concentrate on the couch, speed up the molecules, and imagine it bursting into flames… or something along the lines like that at least.

I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, what if instead of burning the couch I, and I hope it doesn’t happen, burn down the house?

What do you have to lose? Our parents got the extended warranty or whatever on it anyway and if something does happen to it, they have the money to get a new one! You could even convince them to get something better than that. And what if the house burns down? It’ll be even better since you’ll be able to get a better house than this dump we’re in now. Besides, no one will get hurt in the process, we’re not that strong yet, promise~

I thought it over on what she said and decided to give it a shot. If she’s right then no one will get hurt and we’ll be getting a new couch. I wished that I was going crazy, but I hated the couch so much that I started imagining myself setting fire to it. It’d be a win-win for me if everything went ok. Minutes later, the smoke alarm went off. We rushed upstairs into the living room and saw that the sofa was on fire. Daddy rushed to get the fire extinguisher in the kitchen while Mama set Rose down and ran to the hallway to try and activate the sprinklers and yelled for me to watch Rose who was already stumbling towards the blazing couch. I, on the other hand, stood there watching in amazement.

See?! You did it! Don’t try to stop it now, just let the couch burn!

I can’t just let it burn! I’m gonna try to stop it now, it’s burned enough anyway. And besides, Rose will get hurt if she gets to close. I thought after I yanked Rose away from the couch and set her beside me.

Then let her burn too. You never liked her anyway; she’s nothing but a pest. Remember, she’s the one that replaced you and took what little love your parents had for you. It’ll be all over quickly if you push her into the fire. Just push her towards it and hold her there. She’ll be the only one being burned if that’s what you’re worried about. Haven’t you realized yet that temperature doesn’t affect you? So if you touch it, you won’t get burned genius.

Are you insane?! It doesn’t matter if I like the little brat or not, she’s my sister! I can’t kill her, Mama and Daddy would kill me if I did!

ONLY because you killed what was precious to them! Think about it: they don’t love you anymore, they don’t care about you, and you know it. That’s why they replaced you.  …Look at you, if you really couldn’t kill her like you said, then why are you slowly pushing her towards the fire?

I looked down to see that Rose was only inches away from the fire again, but it was me pushing her towards it. “Rose you little idiot!” I yanked her back again and took several steps back from the couch.

Why don’t you just go ahead and do it? You were almost there; she could’ve been dead by now! You can’t deny the fact that you want to kill her.

“Shut up and leave me alone!” I said loudly. Okay Helouise, just take some deep breaths, and concentrate on the fire…and don’t touch Rose. I concentrated on the fire on the sofa, and imagined the flames getting smaller. Then Mama and Daddy finally came back just in time to see that I was already making the fire go away. They stood there with a worried look for a moment, and then asked me calmly if I was the one who put the fire out.

“Yes, but I caused it too. The thing is I don’t know exactly how I did it, I just” -Maybe I shouldn’t tell them about the voice…maybe I’m just going insane- “I just thought about burning the sofa like the voice said at first and then making the fire small. But why did this have to happen in my junior year, just when everyone was thinking I was normal, just when they finally accepted me? Why am I hearing this cynical voice inside me head?!” I cried while looking at them. They told me that they knew I was going to have my powers fully awakened, just didn’t know when. Then they told me that I had fire-powers since I was young and that I just couldn’t remember them. Then I showed signs of it when I was about three and threw terrible tantrums. Then I remember the day that Rose was born, when Daddy was telling me about the alarms and came into the bathroom with the hole on his jacket, and then I became angry.

“So that day when Rose was born, tell me Father, what did you mean about the alarms? And what really happened to your jacket?” I asked looking directly at him. His face went from a calm expression to a shocked one as he mumble something about my eyes. “I didn’t ask about my eyes, tell me what really happened the day that Rose was born!” I yelled. He told me that when I was upset, my hair was slowly turning into flames and I was standing by some posters that were right under the smoke detector. Then he told me that when I pushed him away, I burned a hole through his jacket and almost his shirt. Then Mama started speaking, but I couldn’t hear her, my mind was too busy processing what I just heard. They lied to me, that’s why they kept giving me those potions when I was younger; they knew something was wrong about me from the very beginning! I’m just a weird accident to them; they never loved me enough to tell me the truth.

To be honest, they probably never really loved you at all. Why else do you think they had her Helouise? Don’t you remember how they were looking at her and how pretty she was?

I remembered how they were looking at Rose in that hospital room and became infuriated. That’s why they had another child, they never loved me, they probably never even wanted me in the first place, they wanted a normal, beautiful girl! Another little girl that they could truly love! I felt Rose trying to give me her teddy bear, but I was too angry and knocked it away from her and she began to cry.

“Helouise, look what you’ve done!” Mama called out rushing past me.

“So what if the stupid bear is burning?!” I cried wiping the tears from my face. “You two lied to me almost all my life and then tried to replace me with that stupid brat! And now all you care about is some stupid bear and-” I looked behind myself to point at Rose, but I stopped as mama rushed past me again with Rose in her arms, holding and kissing on her hand. I noticed a small burn mark on Rose’s wrist as she did. I just burned my sister. “Oh my god, I’m sorry! It was an accident, I swear!” I can’t believe I burned my little sister.

It felt good, didn’t it Helouise?

What did?

Setting things on fire, and of course, burning your sister. Feel a little proud of yourself, don’tcha?

…Just leave me alone.

I knew you’d enjoy that. You can’t hide it from me.

Will just go away already?!

Just think of how great you’d feel if you would just kill the lil brat already! It’d be fun, you’d-…wait a minute…do you smell that Helouise? It smells like we’re not the only one with magic in here. Helouise, we gotta have that power.

Suddenly my dad came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t touch me!” I yelled, bumping into the hanging fern and causing it to burn too.  Then I moved away from him and the fern.

That’s it! That’s where the power is coming from! You can take his power for yourself if you touch him. Drain his power. That’s all it takes.

I do want that power. Why haven’t I noticed it before?

You never noticed because he knows how to conceal his power, and you couldn’t sense it, you didn’t know how to sense other people's magic. But now that I’m awake, we can sense other peeps magic a little!. All you have to do to get their power is drain it from them.

…I really do want that power; it smells sooo good. Whatever it is, I need that power.

Then drain him. I reached for my dad’s hand pretending to want to hold it for comfort. Kill Daddy for his magic. I drew my hand back quickly before grabbing his hand. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

ARE YOU CRAZY?! “Dad get away from me!”

 JUST KILL HIM!! 

“I can’t kill my Dad!” As bad as I wanted his power, I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t kill my own dad. He told me to calm down but I couldn’t. “Daddy, I just made our couch and our fern get on fire, and I burned my little sister and her bear! I can’t calm down! And look,” I pointed frantically towards the couch and the fern. “The couch is burning again and the fern is still on fire! I can’t control them!” I said panicking. He stepped towards me again with his hands out saying that everything was going to be ok.

He’s practically giving you his hands, just take them and kill him!!

“NO!!”

His power could be ours and we could be stronger!

“Daddy get back! I know you have powers I can smell it and the voice is trying to make me kill you for it and I’m trying not to so please just stay back!” We looked at the smoke alarm that finally went off and the built-in sprinklers turned on, but when I looked at the flames on the couch, nothing happened to the flames.

Quick! Do it now while he’s distracted!

“WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!” I shouted out flailing my hand out, pushing nothing away, and letting a fireball fly out of my once empty hands onto the faded blue curtains. Still the water from the sprinklers couldn’t make the fire die out. “See?! Even the water can’t put it out! What if the fire spread? What’s going to happen if the firefighters come and they can’t put it out? What if-” Then he swiftly approached me again and grabbed my shoulders, and an immense chill overcame me that caused my knees to buckle. Then he told me to calm down again, only more sternly. He told me that they know it was an accident.  It was their fault for not telling me about my magic sooner. He let me go and told me to look back at the couch. I looked at the smoldering couch and then turned quickly to see the burnt fern and the burnt curtain. He told me that I could do anything as long as I was calm. Then he reached into his pocket, pulled out his lighter and tossed it towards the couch. He said that if the firefighters did come, they‘d find that, so I could stop worrying about them trying to find out who did it or what would happen if they stayed to long.

I looked back towards the kitchen where my mom and Rose were coming from and saw she had put some of the homemade healing salve on Rose’s wrist. I looked back to my dad and he told me that everything would be all right, then Mama said that we would start practicing to control my emotions and magic tomorrow.

The next day, to make sure that Rose didn’t get hurt or learn about our magic ‘too early’, my parents called and told my grandmother, my dad’s mother, what happened and asked if she could keep Rose for a while. She agreed, and she when she came over she smelled the same way as daddy did; just slightly different, but definitely stronger. The same urge came over me to drain her too as she and my dad walked in the house, but mama held on to me, and told me to focus on her scent and to tell her what it smelled like. Then Granny looked over at us with disgust as Daddy showed her to Rose’s room, and to tell her what was going on. I could feel the anger building up as she glared at us, but Mama covered my eyes and nose and told me repeatedly to calm down as she rocked me. A moment after she did that, we could hear Rose crying upstairs. She wasn’t willing to leave at first, but soon they convinced her that it was only for a little while, and that she was going to have a lot of fun with our granny. So she left with her, and it was just me and my parents once.

Afterwards, my parents told me the truth. The whole truth. First, they told me about the color of my eyes. Mom said that everyone on her side, including me, had the exact same eyes and that we’re demons, and the voice I heard was actually my inner demon, like an active conscious of sorts, that was implanted, given, or something by our many great grandfather, Guidry. She also said that some demons were born with the natural instinct to kill, to be truly ‘evil’, and they were mostly always the ‘upper level’ ones, but for us it was different and she couldn’t exactly explain why. Daddy said he wasn’t a demon, but he wasn’t a witch (or warlock…wizard, whichever they classify themselves as) either, but he could subdue people with a single touch. They didn’t know about Rose yet, and only time would tell if she’s was going to grow up to be normal or like one of them. Then Mama told me what happened Ms. Wrangler, and why I had to start wearing shades in public. Ms. Wrangler was a demon too. Everyone on mama’s side of the family were being hunted by other demons. They feared that we would become over powerful or somehow immortal, so they would catch and take us to the Upper Council where we’d either die from enslavement or something else entirely. So for whatever reason Ms. Wrangler had tried to kidnap me for, the end result wasn’t going to be good.

When Mama noticed that my scent had gone outside the city, they came after me. They saved me and had to kill Ms. Wrangler and the other demons that was there, and that’s why we had to move. Then Mama started blaming herself for not going to meet the woman herself when she first came into town.

After that, she helped me to gain control of my new ability and to quiet the voice inside. They had me to train with my power everyday. Soon, I was able to create fires and make them go away at will. The voice was still there, but she didn’t talk as much after that.

But still my grandmother didn’t bring Rose back. Mama called and asked her why, then I heard her gasp from the kitchen and I went to see what happened. I watched her as she was listening to whatever Granny was saying, and then she finally said that she understood and hung up the phone. Mama never told me what happened, but only said that we could visit her whenever we wanted. I thought that Rose had either gotten really sick or this had somehow became a custody battle. Even though I never really liked the brat at times, it still hurt to hear that Rose wasn’t coming home, and it made me feel that with my power being ‘fully awakened’, my granny didn’t trust for me to be around her. I regretted being a demon at all that day despite what the voice said otherwise. I saw no point in having this power if it only caused my parents pain and having my sister taken away. I could tell that her not being able to come back home yet had broken their heart. Then I promised myself that when she comes back, I would be the best big sister ever.

         “Wow...just wow. Why didn’t you tell me all this before?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess I don’t like talking about it much.”

“Fair enough. Now just a few questions. Just two, I think, if you don’t mind ma’am?”

“Shoot.”

“You said that your Dad’s power had a scent? Is it just him or what?”

“Well, it’s more of a scent for him and not his magic? Like, I can smell it even when he’s not using it. And no, everyone has their own scent. I think I’m just now...paying attention to it? I mean, I probably noticed his and Mama’s scents before but never just...thought about it, if that makes sense?”

“Cool. So what’s my scent?”

“A sweet little cupcake.” I laughed as she groaned. “It’s not chocolate though, friend~”

“Thank you Jesus.” She mumbled. “Now, what about Rose? When was the last time you saw her?”

“We see each other everyday, sometimes Granny would bring her over, or we’d go over there to visit. Sometimes I don’t go though, cause I still don’t think she likes me.”

“That sucks. Do you still feel like you want to...you know, take their magic? Or anyone else’s?”

I shifted around the floor. “No comment.”

“Damn bruh...savage.” I snorted at her attempt to make things better. “So, final question! Do you think this is the end of your epic adventure? Has everything finally calmed the fuck down for you?”

“Oh my God yes and I hope it stays just like this forever.”

Silly girl, if you believe that then you should really know better. This is just the beginning of our adventure.

[shuwuwua]

college apartment neighbor!dino

“Apartment neighbor au with Dino? Where you’re college students trying to survive.”

in which it’s a struggle, but some people are worth struggling with [friendship]

word count: 1.3k 

you figure this year will be worse than last year 

since you’re not living in a dorm anymore and thus no longer have residential events that you’re coerced into attending, your avg # of social interactions are most likely going to reduced to... zero to few

look, it takes a lot of energy to leave the confines of your room to walk to your friend’s apartment four blocks down the street

or worse, going somewhere so far you have to take the bus

yeah, #firstworldproblems and all aside, people have said sophomore year is a struggle. 

you barely see anyone

you’re having your mid-college crisis about what to major in i.e. spend the rest of your life in (spoiler: in ten years it won’t matter if you don’t want it to)

and also no one cares about you anymore because you’re not a freshman

so if you mess up, that’s on you, bub

what a lonely, brutal world

that’s how you think your year will go, cooped up in your apartment, grinding for class, maybe an occasional interaction with your roommates

but the universe decides differently

you meet him when you’re moving in

he appears seemingly out of no where as you are slumped over your 5th cardboard box, contemplating whether or not to flop onto the cardboard throne you have been building in front of your door

“hey!! uh, are you ok ??” 

“huh? yeah im just melting : ))”

“so are the rest of us, but we can melt together! do you need some help?”

“oh no, i don’t want to bother you...”

“technically, i’m the one who bothered you,” he says, already walking down the stairs. “which one is your car?”

that’s how your first interaction with chan lee, your cheerful new neighbor and fellow sophomore, plays out

you figure you’ll never see him again 

just because you’re neighbors with someone doesn’t mean you’ll see them 

heck, freshman year you barely saw the people who lived in the room next to you

but as you wait for a lecture to start on the first day of school, someone plops into the seat next to you 

“hi, neighbor!” chan starts. “we’re classmates too, huh? i’m glad you’re here because i don’t actually have any friends in this class. well, aside from you of course.”

you blink a little to process how quickly he speaks. he has a little too much more energy than you can deal with in the morning. 

as he takes out his school supplies, he turns back to you after your lack of response. “we are friends, right?”

are you? you’ve only spoken once, really. but he looks at you with such wide eyes and a bright smile that you can’t say no. 

“yeah, sure.” his smile widens and class finally starts.

you see him three times a week for class, always sitting in the same spot. as you begin losing your motivation to get up early enough to make it to class before all the seats fill, he begins saving your seat for you. 

it’s rather nice being in class with him, actually. whenever you’re in class with your friends you tend to end up not listening and just looking through your phone instead. but chan is such a diligent student, always paying attention and writing fervently, that you’d feel embarrassed if you weren’t also paying attention.

few weeks into the semester, midterm season is upon you 

there’s a knock knock knock on your front door

“hey! do you want to come over and study for the midterm? i have snacks,” chan greets you.

you’d been planning to lock yourself in and grind

that is, study on the couch and inevitably space out and probably fall asleep

maybe some accountability would be good. plus... no one says no to food. “okay.”

so now you get to see the inside of his apartment for the first time. his apartment is looks like what it is: an apartment that houses three male college students. the table in the living room has various items cluttering it: open notebooks, headphones, a pack of chewing gum, a gym bag laying open next to it, a hoodie strewn across the back of the couch 

his room is an unsurprising contrast to the living room, pretty clean an orderly, just how chan seems

but if you were to look more closely, a lot of the mess was just shoved into the crevices

however, you did not look

although chan manages to look like he has his life together or something, he’s actually kind of confused about the class material

you’re both just taking it because of general education requirements

and biology really isn’t chan’s forte

you’re no genius at it either, but you’re able to explain some things to him 

putting your heads together, you two manage to get through quite a lot

studying with chan that day seemed to pay off, because you did well on the midterm!

status update: you and chan are now neighbors, classmates, and study buddies. and friends, you suppose. 

you guys study together pretty regularly, sometimes at your place, sometimes at his 

the mess you failed to notice the first time in chan’s room begins seeping out more and more 

the study sessions become slightly less productive as you two end up just talking about other things 

the later the hour, the more vast the topic

one chilly october night, you’re lying on the floor next to your textbooks and notebooks, paying absolutely no mind to them 

rain falls quietly outside chan’s window 

“yeah, to be honest i don’t even know what i’m doing,” you say to the ceiling

“same, i don’t understand this unit at all”

“no i mean... well, that too, but i just.” you pause and purse your lips as you collect your thoughts. “why am i even taking this class?”

“it’s an ‘easy’ gen ed class?” chan offers

“that’s true. i’ve just been thinking about what classes i’ve been taking lately to see if any of them strike me as particularly interesting. the stress of picking a major is slowly but surely setting in. i’m just afraid i’ll hate what i’m studying, i guess.” you’re not really sure why you’re just unloading this all on chan. maybe because it’s 1:47 in the morning and your better judgement has clocked out. 

chan can’t quite relate because he knew he was majoring in dance all along, but he gives you a sympathetic smile that feigns empathy pretty well. “well, even if you end up hating your major, what’s the worst that would happen?”

“um... that i wasted 4 years of my life, education, and tuition money?”

“i don’t think it’d be a waste. i think some realizations just come at certain times, even if you don’t think it’s the most convenient timing. you have to try to even know you dislike something, right?”

you blink at the ceiling before facing him. “i guess you’re right.”

“i know i’m right,” he says with confidence you kind of envy, “so don’t worry. whatever you choose will be right, in one way or another.”

you haven’t really know chan that long, but it hasn’t been a short time either. 3+ times per week over two and a half months is a lot of time if you use it right. yet you’re looking at chan as if you just saw him correctly for the first time. 

you always knew he was straightforward and sure of himself, but today he was extending it to you. his share of confidence was something you needed recently, since it’s not really something easily found in your regular environment. 

you smile at him. “thanks, chan.”

“it’s nothing. what are friends for?”

... yeah. chan is your friend. against all odds and expectations you had coming into the school year, chan and his contagious cheerful outlook budged their way into your life 

you welcome it gladly.

chan turns off his desk lamp. “let’s go outside!”

“what? don’t we need to study this?”

“clearly it’s not going to happen. i want some nuggets from mcdonalds.”

“bet let’s go”

a/n: i planned for this to come out differently (more active struggling and procrastinating) but dang, chan just really insisted on being written as the extremely capable and hardworking bean we all know he is

[pfandghoul]

what the sokovia accords really are

a quick study bc what the fuck guys

(copied from the mcu wiki entry about the accords - all of it and not just parts of it)

here goes:

The currently known regulations established by the Sokovia Accords include:

Any enhanced individuals who agree to sign must register with the United Nations and provide biometric data such as fingerprints and DNA samples.

- Any who AGREE to sign. I dont think this is asking too much. If ur working for a government agency, if ur using force in any way during ur work, I think its fair to ask you to give them biometric data. And if its only so in case there is an investigation afterwards (which their always should be imo) its clear distinguishable who was where and did what.

- Also, what if someone suddenly decides "something happened, im changing sides, imma take revenge" (no matter if its a concious decision or brainwashing 👀)? Would probably be good to have some data and perhaps be able to track them. If its managable or not- hm. But theres no harm in giving that data if ur only goal is working towards a safer world.

-----

Those with secret identities must reveal their legal names and true identities to the United Nations.

- Oh nooo, no unknown vigilantes that might make mistakes while fighting on their own and then cant be held accountable? No one is perfect, OF COURSE, but from a realistic pov I wouldnt feel safe with someone running around fighting whoever-

And I know we love the romantic comic fantasy of "everybody can be a hero", and I swear I love it as much as you! But imagine ur just a normal person while spiderman is swinging above ur head- or even imagine ur spiderman- and then one tiny thing wents wrong. The normal person is crushed, dead or paralysed- Spiderman is in shock because that was Not supposed to happen and he is so so sorry!- But what now?

- If enhanced people were to work under an organisation (that is ideally not as shady and riddled with Hydra as Shield was) then those incidents would be covered. Yes it would still be terrible but Spiderman would get mandatory therapy session to work through it and the normal person... well if theyre dead then i guess the organisation would at least pay for the funeral and compensate the family (like if they were the only one providing for partner and kids), additionally a conversation between both partys if possible.

-Basically: nothing can be swept under the rug. The enhanced people can be protected!!! PLUS they only have to reveal their identity to the UN and not the world.

---------

Those with innate powers must submit to a power analysis, which will categorize their threat level and determine potential health risks.

- This would benefit the person with power too, you realize that, dont you?

You cant possibly know how much power you actually have. Is there gonna be another level-up for you? Are you Jean Grey? We wouldnt want to repeat that specific clusterfuck, right?

But if you submit to an analysis it can help find ways to train you, circle ur weaknesses, etc.

Yes the UN would know ur threat level- and that would be bad why? Are you planning to attack Them? If not then no problem. Instead they would know if they should send you in or not- depending... you dont need a level 5 when there is a cat in a tree. We want to avoid unnecessary damage, thank you. If ur a level 1 you also dont want to be on the front lines against an alien invasion for example- better help evacuate non-powered individuals and not die immediately.

- Also worth mentioning: this is all still part of the "if you agree to sign" paragraph

-------

Those with innate powers must also wear tracking bracelets at all times.

- Yes I admit this one sucks. I could argue the pros but I dont really want to because this one is literally just a "we want to control you" rule and should be scratched.

------- (new paragraph in the accords)----

Any enhanced individuals who sign are prohibited from taking action in any country other than their own, unless they are first given clearance by either that country's government or by a United Nations subcommittee.

- I really want to think I dont have to say anything here but I feel I do.

No I do not want a guy wearing an american flag running around in my country if my government didnt explicitely allow it. Same for a giant tin man or a creepy spiderlady.

- If anything then this paragraph would help improve the communication between countries. Yes people fear that in emergencies this will all take too long but 1) thats not the Accords fault and 2) I think we already have situations like this irl and most times it does work.

---------

Governments are forbidden from deploying enhanced individuals outside of their own national borders, unless those individuals are given clearance as described above. The same rule also applies to non-government organizations that operate on a global scale (including S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).

- Same reasoning. I really really dont want Shield around with their shady everything.

- And always needing consent before weaking havoc in other countries? nice

--------(new paragraph)-----

Any enhanced individuals who do not sign will not be allowed to take part in any police, military, or espionage activities, or to otherwise participate in any national or international conflict, even in their own country.

- Basically if you dont sign up then you cant be a super-cop. Groundbreaking.

(This is very much explained in the first paragraph already.)

----------

As a corollary, they will not be allowed to participate in any active missions undertaken by private or governmental law enforcement/military/intelligence organizations (such as S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).

- s a m e t h i n g

--------(new paragraph)-----

Any enhanced individuals who use their powers to break the law (including those who take part in extralegal vigilante activities), or are otherwise deemed to be a threat to the safety of the general public, may be detained indefinitely without trial.

If an enhanced individual violates the Accords, or obstructs the actions of those enforcing the Accords, they may likewise be arrested and detained indefinitely without trial.

- Cancel the without trial part and then Id say its just. This way it stinks and I feel Ross had his hands in this. No, I am not defending this one. Its Not Okay.

------(new paragraph)-------

The use of technology to bestow individuals with innate superhuman capabilities is strictly regulated, as is the use and distribution of highly advanced technology (such as Asgardian and Chitauri weaponry).

- You cant just experient and turn urself into the Hulk anymore??? Where is the fun in that?? //sarcasm//

- I dont need to go deeper into this, do I?

-------

The creation of self-aware artificial intelligences is completely prohibited.

- Here comes a problem. For Tony mostly.

- I can think of a few reasons for this but I dont think many people are even capable of doing this. I think it would bd enough to file a request if you want to try and build an AI.

--------(new paragraph)----

The Avengers will no longer be a private organization and will operate under the supervision of the United Nations.

- See.. all of the above on why this is a good thing?

- The Avengers as a private organisation is actually a super scary thought. And if you arent at least a little freaked out about this (all from the point of looking at this as if it were real) then idk what to tell you.

---------(new paragraph)-------

For the purposes of the Accords, an "enhanced individual" is defined as any person, human or otherwise, with superhuman capabilities. This includes individuals whose powers are an innate function of their biology as well as individuals who utilize highly advanced technology to grant themselves superhuman capabilities. However, individuals with advanced prostheses do not seem to be considered "enhanced", even if their prostheses give them capabilities beyond those of ordinary humans. 

- Basically just explaining what they mean by "enhanced individual": people with powers. Doesnt matter if you are born with ur power or built urself a supersuit.

-If you got leg protheses that are super bouncy you arent considered an "enhanced individual" (to put it as simple as possible).

-----

All members of the Avengers are subject to the same conditions as enhanced individuals, even if they are not enhanced themselves: Black Widow was required to sign so she could continue serving on the Avengers, and Hawkeye was incarcerated on the Raft after violating the Accords.

- I think this is fair because if you consider urself an Avenger and fight with them then you also should be held accountable.

- You wouldnt want a Someone to work in super-person capacity which both gives a great deal of responsibility and allows a high chance of fuck ups and destruction without them having any regulations, okay?

AND THATS ALL THERE IS

THATS ALL THE MCU WIKI SAYS THERE IS

Which is ofc bullshit because the Accords were thick and 117 countries worked on them for idk how long. Do you understand what that takes? The compromises and politic battles thats been fought over this document?

And yes it is still not perfect.

But who in the seven Hells said that this was the final draft? Who??

"I dont wanna sign away my freedom of choice" F you! What about my freedom of choice of having some costumed weirdos run around my town blowing stuff up killing people?

"We cant save everyone" yEAH but maybe just mAyBe if you werent a dumb cunt then mayyybe with some teamwork with the countries respective secrurity personell (as every fucking country does have) then maybe Kyle, Maria and Dembe would still be alive?? Who knows.

So what I hear is "I dont wanna give up my freedom and continue to do as I see fit. Because I think I am a better judge than a UN committee and 117 governments that dont want me breaking into their countries on a semi-regular basis."

and thats why im generally pro-Accords :)

[heesgf]

studying w/ lee byounggon!

hello cutest ppl of the world!!! here is a present for u <3 and pls read my scenario for bad boy gon!! or soft blurb gon

studying w/ lee byounggon                                                                                    (a bad idea)

OK SO you and byounggon have AP biology together, and somehow, by the grace of GOd himself, you’ve made it to the end of the year

It’s time for ur final exam!!! yay!!  because u can finally peace TF out of that class, but aww :’(( bc you have a final exam with 100 multiple choice  and 10 written questions 😔

some of ur ap bio shenanigans have included:

byounggon reading multiple questions OUT LOUD while you are writing the test and he literally doesn’t even notice

Like he just does it so naturally??? you’ll be side eyeing him through the divider that separates your desks

in your head, you’ll be like “AHEMMMM at LEAST read out the answers too damn ...”

He does not read out the answers :/

even tho it can be kind of off-putting, his voice is rlly deep and soothing!!!! so honestly it kind of helps your test anxiety

......but u will never admit that... he would have too much power

you and byounggon once made an animal cell out of rice krispy treats & candy

you guys left the project to the very last minute because collectively u have one brain cell

U guys started building but then u ate so much candy, you ended up puking🤮

After u had released the #barf, you and byounggon choose to cuddle up on the couch and u just chill for a couple hours

Somehow u convinced him to watch bird box????? He was DYING!!!

But it’s ok bc ur the Best Significant Other Ever and you used imdb to research every possible death scene!! and u gave him a solid 3 second warning every time

ONE TIME u were just a little bit off and he watched something a lil gruesome

U lost ur abiliity to hear from the scream that he released

“im never watching a movie with you AGAIN!”

“i said i was SORRY sodfjsdiofjsdio”

He complained for so long but then you promised you’d make it up to him with some kisses and he was like.... “hehehe ok im down”

a whole baby!!!!!

Its around 11pm now!! You and gon are cuddling on the couch, and it’s so warm, and cute, and wholesome <333

Ur running ur fingers through his soft hair and playing with his fingers; he’s just calmly humming and loving every minute of this

u start to close ur eyes and u feel kinda sleepy, so you lay your head on byounggon’s chest and just nestle in

you’re about to say “goodnight chief” and call it a night

But something feels off?

u suddenly shoot TF up and your mind is racing and ur like “thE PROJECT  !!”, real movie type shit

Ur trying not to LOSE UR MIND while byounggon is just snoring away... his arms are wrapped so tightly around u, and ur mind is still 23% asleep

honestly... maybe u should just lean back into his chest and fall asleep....

But then ur guilt complex is like ‘NO the pROJECT’

U want to wake him up but Byounggon: has left the chat

You start poking at his cheek erratically, and when he FINALLY wakes up, he’s all mumbley and tired and CUTE

U break the tragic news to him and now you’re both contemplating mental breakdowns

For the next 6 hours you guys are DEDICATED to this project

U show up to school the next morning with ur masterpiece:

(yall i rlly made that shit, respect me)

your eyes are SO unbelievably red, and for some reason, ur hair has marshmallow fluff in it????? u have to convince byounggon not to eat that shit on four separate occasions

“It looks yummy”

“PLS restrain urself”

So ur looking a little bit busted, but still cute, bc ur BEAUTIFUL nd sexy

SOMEHOW byounggon still looks perfect???? He looks like he’s just been rejuvenated by 10 hours of sleep; his skin is glowing and his eyes are twinkling... #unfair

when u guys show up to class, your teacher is sO happy with your project!!!!

but then she takes one look at you and she’s like, “(y/n) can i talk to you for a minute pls?”

“ uhh yeah ok, sure!!”

U think she’s about to tell you that she’s so proud of you both for coming up with such a creative idea, and for doing such a good job with the materials u used, but then she’s like:

“(y/n) ur eyes are so red”

ur kinda :’((( bc u think she’s about to scold you for pulling an allnighter...she’s a mama bear

“Pls stop smoking before class it’s rlly inappropriate”

Ur mouth is dropped WIDE open and byounggon is in the corner, snickering the sleep deprivation away: u want to kILL HIM!

Honestly, ur so shook, u kinda just stand there in silence while your teacher just shakes her head and does one of those “tsk tsk tsk” things and walks away

When u go back to ur desk, byounggon is like, “yea (y/n), u should rlly stop smoking at school, it’s super rude and honestly kind of distract-”

The look u give him makes him shut UP IMMEDIATELY

but then he just cranes his long arms around ur waist and smiles into the crook of ur neck and he’s like: “baby im sorry i love u”

So wholesome :’))))

Ur choked up?? And after all that work, a little bit delirious? U lean back into him and tilt ur head to the side so he can kiss u

when he pulls away he gives u this rlly uneven smirk

“even if u smoke before class”

“RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW OR IM GONNA [redacted]”

A couple weeks later, u guys have to do this lab on human heart rate and metabolism

bc byounggon is ur deskmate, he’s also ur lab partner (unfortunately)

Byounggon is RLLY SMART, but honestly u guys are just rlly unproductive when ur together bc u just want to. . .. hug him (relatable)

For one part of the lab, somebody needs to stick their hand into ice water while the other person monitors their heart rate

Byounggon REALLY passionately wants to be the one to dunk his hand in the water tank and ur just like “lmao ok calm down”

HIS HAND HAS BEEN IN THE ICE WATER FOR THREE MINUTES

@ this point, ur concerned x 3493049304930

He’s just like: “im FINE it’s FINE, keep going”

His eyes are TWITCHING

U have to forcefully yank his hand out of the water because he literally will NOT??? why is he like this

But it’s ok bc u warmed up his hand with lots hand holding and sweet lil kisses <333333

overall, bio have been a WILD ride, but byounggon has made it so much more enjoyable,,, and u guys love each other lots,,, (y/n) and byounggon for cutest couple 2k19  😘

Okay so now for the studying!!!

byounggon kind of had to beg to get you to study with him at the library

but that’s only because every time u study with him, u dont retain SHIT, bc ur too busy drooling over his jawline

U wanted to be rlly strict and firm so you could actually be well prepared!!!! But when he started whining and hugging on you,,,, what wEre you SUppOSED to DO?!?

So NOW, u and gon are at the library

U make him sit across from u

Because the lord knows, if he’s sitting next to, he will not stop kissing ur face and u RLLY need to do some learning!!! Studious Queen

twelve minutes into mitosis and chill, byounggon is pouting and using his biology textbook as a pillow

Literally byounggon is the kind of guy that looks like he’d be a rlly messy student, but he will take one look at the textbook, and get a 96%

So ofc, he’s like... “studying... who’s she?”

He’s just staring at you

In this moment, u look SO CUTE, bc ur head is burried in your book, and ur hair is adorably messy, and ur eyebrows are scrunched together bc ur rlly focused

Ur the cutest thing he ever saw?????

“Gon,,, baby u have to stop staring at me,, i can’t concentrate”

He’s so GOOFY

“im noooooooooot”

(he totally is)

It’s been about two hours?? Byounggon took a power nap, and u reviewed everything u possibly could,,, now u just want byounggon to hum u to sleep

byounggon is POWERED UP (stream power up by red velvet)  from his nap and he’s very, very, very giddy

And a lil clingy bc u haven’t cuddled him today yet :/

He’s been saying “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” for about 8 minutes,,, u would throw ur bag of hot cheetos at him but he’s just too pretty

He’s laughing AT HIMSELF

Ur shaking ur head and laughing at him too

The librarian POPS UP out of literally nowhere?? She looks at byounggon playing candy crush on his phone and she’s like “SHHHHHHHHHH!!! young man! you are being so disrespectful! this place is for students to study! U need to leave immediately”

She’s about to point her finger at you too, but then:

“Ma’am i’ve never seen this boy in my whole life” 😜

Byounggon is Taken Aback™

He rlly can’t believe u just did that

U start laughing so hard bc PAYBACK

But his mind is just thinking.. . “top ten worst anime betrayals of all time”

The librarian is so annoyed with both of you she just turns around and mumbles something like “stupID KIDS”

U have to lug byounggon outside bc now he’s #embarrassed bc of the librarian, and #hurt because u threw him under the bus

He’s still pretending to be upset by the time u guys make it back to his house, and u have to give him all sorts of compliments to make everything okay again

“ur chin.... is straight SEXY”

“i think it’s cute that u eat bananas with sriracha”

“i, for one, like the screams you make when we watch horror movies”

THE COMPLIMENTS ARE SO STUPID BUT FOR SOME REASON HE’S BLUSHING???? blushy babyyyyy 💖

u conclude with a veryyyy sweet kiss on his lips

let’s just say... he forgives u

THE NEXT DAY!!! It’s time for ur exam omgomg :’))))))

byounggon finishes that shit in 26 minutes and somehow ends up getting a 92%

it took u a solid 48 minutes and u ended up with a nice and spicy 90%

he gets the better mark bc he’s god Lee Byounggon??? U will never understand bc he rlly doesn’t even try.... U can’t relate

But it’s ok

Because he’s the cutest thing to ever exist in the world, and even if he makes u the most unproductive person in existence, u love him more than anything <333

And he loves u bby!!!!!

the librarian, on the other, loves neither of u 😔 ......

THE END ! ! ! !

i love u all!! and thank u for ur support!! hit like if u feel bad for the librarian  😔