#im ace and regularly forget that most other people are not
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pagenby · 7 months ago
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Intro Post i guess??
had this blog for how long and just now having an intro post??? forgetting i had this blog for a year?? more likely than you think.
🪽 I’ve got a few names, honestly call me whatever. I go by Robin, Wren, Nettle/Nettie, you can call me worm if you want lmao i don’t care. I will also respond to Bastard due to many joking usages haha.
🪽 I’m in my mid-20’s (gods, realizing i probably can’t say early 20s anymore is giving me an existential crisis), and am very queer. nb/genderfluid clusterfuck, lesbian, and ace.
🪽 My pronouns are primarily They/them, but you are welcome to use he/him, xe/xir, or i am dipping my toes into how it/its feels so feel free with that too unless this bit disappears from this post.
🪽 I’ve been polytheist for going on four/five years now, but I still definitely consider myself a baby. I suck at tarot lol. I worship Artemis and Apollo closely, but regularly include others in my practice and my life (most often Hestia, Hermes, Aphrodite, Persephone, and Zeus&Hera. Would love to include Dionysus more but I haven’t interacted much with him). I have a recent connection with Loki, as well, and I also worship Oghma although don’t expect me to talk much about that as it’s very personal to me.
🪽 I believe some deities are part of my soul family, although i likely won’t say who specifically unless i get to know you, as again that’s pretty personal.
🪽 a few little bits about me: I’m a writer, a singer, and I play the piano (any wonder I love Apollo, lol). all music genres are great and i’ll always love music recommendations. I have a bow, but nowhere to really practice with it so I cannot actually do archery yet. I crochet! And I love to bake, and do so often for Hestia. send me good recipes and i’ll love you forever.
🪽 I veil in my practice, to honor Hestia and to keep myself spiritually clean throughout the day. I likely won’t post pictures, and don’t know how much insight i can actually give, but i’m happy to talk about it if you’re curious.
🪽 Feel free to reach out, especially if you’re also around my age, I’d love some pagan friends as currently I have none! I am very awkward around new people, so if I am please know it’s me and not you lol. in case this post wasn’t clear enough, i use many words when little words would suffice just fine.
🪽no terfs. i am very trans. i also love and support trans women, you lovely ladies are so welcome here. also no aspec discourse will be tolerated here, im here and ace and queer and that’s the end of it. Thanks.
not sure what/how often i’ll post here considering i literally never post Anything on my main blog, but we’ll see!! I’d love to talk more about my worship and practice, and maybe that’ll help me get more regular about it lol.
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listcners · 7 months ago
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Serious rambling time cause ive already been feeling lonely and stressed out and burnt out and bad for the last like week.
Debating on dropping Tumblr rp again cause.. idk. Don't have the time or mental space for it rn. Desperately want to write or rp but I feel like my writings bad and that Tumblr rp just.... makes my mental health bad?
Like, I don't like Tumblr rp format. As much as I try. I like starters and just going off and seeing what evolves from them. But I don't like the short form? Like, I maybe get 20 notes into a rp usually less and it dies off. Like, that's no one's fault- we have lives, jobs, health, both mental and physical to deal with. I forget regularly about threads cause of add. But like, when I get really excited or involved in a thread and it just dies it really triggers RSD for me and makes me feel like I'm shit at writing or people don't like my style or don't like me and like I know it's not healthy cause I know that's probably not true but I can't help it? And it still hurts.
It's just, tumblr is so fast paced and there's always so many threads that I can't keep up or if I can I still get fixated on an idea and lose the motivation for other threads because I want to continue a specific one?
I like long form stuff, I like talking about potential plot and like talking ooc as I'm writing and that just doesn't really happen here on tumblr? And that's probably my fault. I'm not super outgoing. I'm nervous to reach out to people even if I desperately want to! I want to be closer with a lot of you! I wanna rp more with a lot of you! But I'm fucking terrified of putting myself out there and I'm frustrated at myself for that.
But I'm scared of making friends and losing them cause I've realized I'm losing friends just cause life is pulling me away from them and I honestly don't have a lot of friends anymore
It's gonna sound fucking dumb but I miss writing of Google docs. An old friend and I in an old fandom use to have Google docs that were 100s of pages long and we'd sit and write and it was so fun and exciting seeing their cursor pop up and ooc messages pop up in real time or you'd see a message waiting for you and idk.
I'm trying to get back into writing fic/dribbles because I'm desperately wanting to write to the point I've been upset that I'm not writing and I want to but I can't get myself to reply to the starters in my inbox which I think are the only things I have to respond to.
If I drop tumblr I won't be deleting the page, I'd just, not really be on it. Idk I probably won't but it's not like im on here much anymore unless I wanna look at art.
I honestly don't think I'll drop it cause I threaten it a lot to myself but I hate getting rid of things cause I'm getting rid of memories. And I don't like that.
Just needed to fucking word vomit because I've been crying like non stop most of today and I'm tired and keeping it all in was making it worse. Going to bed now cause my shoulder is still fucked and I have to work tomorrow long hours with no ac on a crowded and hot weekend.
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im-the-king-of-the-ocean · 4 years ago
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3 and 8?
3. What loves do you tend to write about? Agape (unconditional, spiritual love), Eros (romantic, passionate love), Philia (affectionate, platonic love), Philautia (self-love), Storge (familial love), Pragma (enduring love like between long-married couples), Ludus (playful love, infatuation you feel during the “honeymoon period”), and Mania (obsessive love that leads to madness and jealousy)
I wanna say ‘pragma,’ but also this question feels really hard for me to answer exactly?  Like, I love writing ships, about characters choosing to be intimately close and vulnerable with each other.  Characters first getting together is a part of that, so it doesn’t quite fit under the ‘long-married couples’ bit.  But I don’t want to say ‘Eros,’ because I’m not really interested in extremely romantic/passionate things?
Basically, for me, characters opening up to each other, deciding to trust each other even when it’s hard, showing affection in ways they know the others enjoys?  HELL YES!
Characters being overtly romantic in a more traditional sense (dates, sexy kissing - no idea how to define this, cause I am fine with kissing in general, but like hungry kissing, that’s going somewhere? - certain ways of writing that seem to make it clear sexual attraction is going on)?  Nope, not my thing.
I feel like it may be a good moment to have an ‘I’m asexual and regularly forget that most people don’t have a completely blurred understanding of romantic and queerplatonic relationships, to the point where they generally assume the latter is the height of the former most of the time’ note.
So queerplatonic love?  I’m going with queerplatonic love.
.
8. Favorite dialogue in your wip? (If asked more than once, respond with a new piece each time)
I feel like it may not count bc it’s not technically in my wip, but it’s related to my wip, so I’m going with it anyway.  The dialogue between Robyn and Clover in Mantle Nights.
It was the first time I wrote both characters as the central focus of something, as well as them interacting with each other.  I was worried how it would come across.  Just, I’ve seen a lot of opinions thrown around when it comes to them.  I wanted to be as true as possible to their characters, but without bashing the reader over the head with things (like who I personally think is in the right), and wasn’t overall very sure how it would be received.  I’m rather happy with how things turned out overall.
Clover looks at Robyn critically.  She meets his gaze.  Nothing is said.
Then, Clover states, “It would be in your best interest to help us, Robyn.”
“Like I said, I don’t know what’s going on,” she responds.  “Is that all?”
“For now.”  Clover exhales a long sigh.  “We’ll be in touch.”
“I’m sure you will.”
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m00n-kn1ght · 3 years ago
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just gonna talk a bit bout some personal stuff.
so one of the weird things about learning to love yourself is finding out the shitty people who surround you and feed off your energy. I have been feeling drained of energy and part of that is not taking proper care of myself and I know that. But the other part is finally being able to see those few people who treat me with respect and that it should be the standard. There are two interactions that stand out for me that I still look at for guidance when Im confused and its my brother who has not messed up once with regards to my gender identity. He refers to me as his brother, and always uses the right pronouns. There is also my best friend allison who asked questions and took an interest in my sexuality. I still have the ace shirt she gave me and im wearing it to pieces.
Now im comparing these to the interactions I have with my grandma, uncle, and cousin. They never correct themselves when they mess up. They havent used my pronouns in months and dont seem to care. They are embarrassed and ashamed to ask questions and in the case of my cousin regularly tokenizes me. My mother outed me to my aunt who is transphobic and when my aunt talked about how im unnatural and other shit and she didnt say a word.
Then there is also my friend I have right now. God this is the one that baffles me the most. I have told her multiple times that I am ace and non-binary but she constantly forgets. In the case of today I told her I dont understand attraction and jokingly said I was the wrong person to ask about sex. So then she asked me if id had good sex with somebody and maybe I should try it again and "yknow I go into hibernation when I havent had sex in a long time". She is a part of the lgbt organization at her company, She helps design the merch for pride month. I know that you cant know everything about every queer identity but for fucks sake please just look into the definition of the word. I realized that I didnt even feel comfortable talking to her about this topic and if I refuted her I wasnt sure she would think she knows better.
and these are just the things about my identity. Theres also the way my cousin has been chipping away at my joy and the simmering resentment and pettiness my grandma has for me.
Im going to have to minimize interactions with these people because I know I shouldnt have to fight this hard with people who care. Its just not feasible to do right now with the situation im in.
All it takes is one good person in your life to make you realize that you deserve better and im glad to have my brother in my corner.
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heir-of-the-founders · 5 years ago
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I dont give a fuck anymore jesus christ i need yall to see this
youtube
Asdfghjkl its so hard to explain the amount of fucking hypocrisy in this video jesus.
Dont let the cleanliness fool you. Its a shithole.
The gym doesnt have an ac system but we can afford a giant (and by giant i mean ive never seen one this size before) touchscreen tv next to the auditorium and to have the 30 (that's not an exaggeration) tvs playing the fucking school news 7 times an hour every hour (they gloat about it but also gloat that we're the most watched student news in the state)(like no dip dumb dumb you play it 4800 times a damn day) and decals on the stairs and to completely revamp the auditorium.
They also cant be bothered to actually clean the fucking music wing. Theres these weird box couch things in there. Someone spilled a drink behind one. It took them a month AND being notified by other teachers bc students literally cant get a hold of janitorial at all ever. Fuck, freshman year a bird got inside and fucking died on the stairwell. Took 2 hours for the bird to be gone and 2 fucking weeks for the blood to be cleaned up. There was literally fucking blood on the windows and floor. Someone put notebook paper down so we didnt get blood on our shoes.
Oh! And when the band teacher mr swenson left he got replaced with henson and instead of giving him a new plaque they literally just taped an h over the sw with printer paper.
The head of the school board for my county literally got caught using the school credit card to go to hooters and buy alchohol but i guess nobody reported him bc that was freshman year and im a sr now and hes still head of the board.
Also, a few years ago (maybe it was only last yr i dont remember) during the march for our lives thing, a girl was organizing a protest and the hicks (for the people who dont know, those are the people that like,, kin the south. They literally wear plaid button ups and tuck their shirts into their too high jeans with giant belt buckles and wear cowboy boots and have confederate flags on their trucks, its ridiculous) the hicks literally kicked her and pushed her and spit on her in the halls for so long and it was so bad that she ended up not coming to school for like two weeks. But nobody got in trouble even though we have cameras literally everywhere.
My math teacher doesnt have a math degree. Well, shes not my math teacher anymore but like. She admitted to our class that she has no idea what shes doing. She yells at kids when they correct her. I literally transferred from algebra 2 to the algebra 2/ trigonometry mixed course in the middle of the year because it was taught by a different teacher and it made more fucking sense.
My english teacher sophomore year didnt have an english degree. He had a math degree. He also taught statistics. But that course was dropped when he retired jr yr. We literally didnt even read anything the whole thing was bullshit. He also had us say ubuntu (taken from wiki- Ubuntu (Zulu pronunciation: [ùɓúntʼù]) is a Nguni Bantu term meaning "humanity." It is often translated as "I am because we are," ) every day before class. it was weird.
Also the theater heads (the special ed teacher and 2 sports coaches) would like constantly yell at the theater kids to not bring any food or drink into the theater bc of like mice and shit but would then eat a pizza and drink coffee
Oh! Speaking of mice. The STEM classroom had this weird ass ceiling where it was like a platform of tiles hanging from the real ceiling and like it wasnt over the whole thing and we had a mouse problem in the school and sometimes the mice would get up there and sometimes you could hear them crawling around in the middle of class. There were also just like. Mouse traps. All over a lot of rooms.
One of the english rooms had a window thats inside and faces under a stairwell.
Oh and all that glass? Yeah, theres more and none of its bulletproof.
The pe teacher has a record of calling students whores and telling them theyre not going anywhere in life in front of the entire class bc the student didnt bring pe clothes. Its happened to both of my sisters and also a few friends. Ive seen it happen too. Amongst other things. Also, her office connects to the girls changing room and theres a window into it? And like the window is kinda covered up but with this weird material that has holes all over it. I dunno its just really creepy.
And like i guess last year the special ed teacher (one of the theater heads) got caught cheating on her husband (the freshman spanish teacher) with the (recently) retired freshman american history teacher. Mr s (the husband) and mr b (the side hoe) had rooms across from eachother. And now mrs s lives in Florida and mr s is just. Gone.
The excel head (like the head of the gifted kids program i guess?) Broke one of the 3d printers bc she was messing with it and then blamed it on a student and got the entire excel programs 3d printer privileges revoked. They even caught it in camera and she didnt get in trouble.
Sophomore year everyone called the science teacher daddy to the point that he just left.
The school has 3 elevators (required by law) and theyre kinda fucked up but i didnt realise it until i started using them regularly. First, there is a single thing in one if the elevators that says the last time they were inspected was 2014. Theres the main building elevator, the freshman building elevator, and the okd elevator, which is the only one that goes to the 3rd floor.
The old elevator is like. Really old. Like. Its manual. And you can touch the walls of the elevator shaft when yr moving. Also like. One half of the elevator just. Isnt covered. You also need a key to operate it and they dont give the keys out to the students so you either need to talk to the nurse before hand (and she always forgets) or try to find a janitor. Which. Only way to the 3rd floor. Elevator wise anyway. Which sucked wheb i had win time (like a mandatory study hall where you sign up for different teachers every day depending on 'What I Need', hence the name) on the 3rd floor bc sometimes mandatory stuff was scheduled up there. Which. Yay.
And the freshman building elevator fuckin,, it fuckin shakes. Like. Just. Its like turbulence. Its terrifying and ive genuinely thought i was about to die a few times.
People also use the elevators to vape bc the only one you need an adult for is the old one. This is evident by the smell.
Thats all that i can think of atm bc its 3am and i might delete this later but yea fuck my school
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movedto-dazaipositive · 7 years ago
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one guess where this started. couldn't have done it without @taggianto 💜 you.
CW: rape and resultant pregnancy; severe self-worth issues; mentally ill character with wrong ideas about what constitutes mental illness.
so, I've got a running headcanon that Kent's mom is alcoholic and she has ptsd.
rape & pregnancy TW // she was raped in college and that's how she got pregnant with Kent. she kept him out of choice, but she loves him no matter what
but that doesn't change the fact that she has ptsd and for many years while she was working 3 jobs to keep them alive and Kent on the ice, and she had to get through somehow. so she drank at home
and she wasn't ever really there for Kent. she couldn't be, between drinking and working. does Kent resent her? I don't think so. I don't think he knew it was even an option until he met the Zimmermanns and Jack
and saw the way they behaved with each other. but he loves his mom and he'd do anything for her. it's why he sticks with hockey even when it hurts–his mom worked hard to get him where he is, and he can't let her down now
but she crashes around the time Kent is 16/17. she's no longer got Kent around to survive for, and it really messes her up. and Kent watches Jack and his mom crash and burn, up close and from afar, and it fucks him up
like, bad. he can't stop thinking that it was him, that he's the reason they're the way they are. that he's the only thing they have in common and they're both–the way they are, and it must be him. it must be Kent
jack's OD breaks Kent, pushes him over the edge of a cliff he was already clinging to with his fingertips. he shuts down completely and only surfaces to a) send his mom to rehab with his first NHL paycheck b) and play hockey
he withdraws completely. cuts himself off from human contact at the exact time he needs it the most. he spends his rookie year with the Aces Captain, Patty, his wife and their two kids, barely holding on to his humanity
it's a good thing the team forces Kent out regularly, because otherwise he'd turn into an Actual Hockey Robot. it's not that he isn't friendly with them–he plays beautiful hockey and laughs and chirps with the rest of them, but there's something off about it. he's skittish and awkward, and he gets this look in his eyes sometimes, like he survived something awful but not really.
like he isn't all there. they worry about him. he's too small and too good at hockey and he needs someone to watch out for him
the first year, it's the whole team. all how-many-ever of them, looking out for Kent on and off the ice. the second year, Jeff comes to them
Jeff is...good with Kent.
Jeff's been playing on the NHL for a couple years, got drafted third or fourth to the Seattle Schooners. he's a good teammate, dryly funny, chirps that take a second to sink in. he plays good hockey, not as good as Kent, but good.
but he seems to know, instinctively, what Kent needs at any given moment
Jeff drags Kent into being social and actually, y'know, forming meaningful connections with other people by giving Kent puppy eyes until Kent agrees to hang out with Jeff and teammate of the week
and Kent, horribly unused to being someone people want to spend time with and nearly incapacitated by loneliness after a year of next to no human connection, says yes every time
and Kent is a person? under that weird obsessive hockey robot exterior? he's fun to hang out with. he's even funny. he's a bit a total dork and likes helping people and he always knows a good place to eat
so people on Kent's team start to seek his company even without Swoops around and Kent goes ? but he doesn't like to let people down or say no
Kent is still like, messed up inside. he doesn't sleep well and there are a lot of days when he won't get out of bed of he doesn't have to. but he's still trying
except... he's not trying to be better at Humaning for himself. he's doing it for Jeff and the people who depend upon him to show up and entertain their kids for two hours so they can go on a date
the only thing that's changed is the manifestation of Kent's chronic self-sacrificing and the people who receive it.
and Kent is honestly trying really hard and overcompensating for a year of not being a good Human Person so he swamps himself in helping people and overworks himself
and it's Jeff that picks up the pieces of Kent's dumbassery. it's Jeff that calls people to let them know that Kent has the flu, no they haven't been to the doctor yet, yes he's mostly okay he's puking right now, so no he can't come and take care of your kids Patty find a fucking babysitter you're a millionaire jfc
(Patty is kind of a dick)
Kent: [in between puking] but I promised
Jeff: shut the fuck up
Kent's bedridden for almost a week. he misses two games, both of which the Aces lose
it's during this week that Jeff realises just how fucked up Kent is, because in the middle of puking his guts out and shivering under six blankets he still finds time to blame himself for everything that goes wrong in that week. e v e r y s i n g l e t h i n g. it's not really Kent's fault, being sick pulls down all walls that keep him from airing the constant internal monologue of self blame and loathing, but Jeff calls his cousin Rashmi and has a slight breakdown
well, I say slight. he nearly cries
Jeff needs to talk about how much Kent is hurting and omg I never knew im a terrible friend eeeee
she tells him to a) calm the fuck down b) don't take this so personally, you can't help him if you think you're the one to blame, he's doing that already c) here's a bunch of helpful links on how to deal when you think your friend might be mentally ill
Jeff tries to be subtle about bringing up the 'you might be mentally ill thing'. Kent, however, is not dumb. he catches on to this really fast, and panics hard. his only experience with mentally ill folks is his mom and Jack, and they are not a good place to start–both addicts who've been unintentionally emotionally abusive to Kent. Kent draws the best conclusion he can with this data pool. the conclusion is I am a horrible person who will soon be drug addict and hurt the people around me, whoops time to Shut Down
Kent [shutting down] I am a horrible person that deserves nothing good, ever. Jeff: nO Kent: I can't hear you over the sound of my self loathing Jeff: N O
and Jeff does not know how to deal with a Kent who's gone straight back to rookie year levels of skittish I-am-a-virus-don't-touch-me. the team, on the other hand, knows perfectly well how.
or, at least, they know how they dealt with it. but they're hockey players, with the combined emotional intelligence of a nail clipper, and when they tell Jeff about it he's horrified. so he figures out his own methods–he sticks as close to Kent as possible while not overwhelming him, and he does his best to be Supportive
it is difficult to be supportive when the person you are Supporting does not want to be supported. so he does his research, and hits upon the perfect solution
he goes to the local pet shelter and asks for the most unlikely to be adopted kitten, because he knows that Kent has a soft spot for hopeless things
they give him a three month old Calico, blind and almost certainly headed to a shelter without a no kill rule
Jeff: ......I'll take it
Kent is baffled and enchanted. Jeff really thought it'd be harder to sell this to Kenny, but Kent's holding squirmy, curious little kit, already babytalking to her, asking her if she knows what a pretty princess she is, yes you are, aren't you and Jeff has a second where he thinks Oh, shit
bc this more humanity and interest than Kent has shown in almost a month, and then Kent is turning to Jeff to ask him questions about raising cats that Jeff didn't even know were a concern, but clearly this is making Kent happy, so Jeff gives him a book he'd picked up at the recommendation of the volunteer at the shelter, and drives Kent helplessly to the pet store and watches as Kent buys cat shit off Amazon
Kent doesn't realise she's blind, at first. kit (Jeff named her) has large golden eyes that are permanently dilated. Kent only figures out she's blind when he's sitting on the floor watching her toddle around, and she keeps walking into his outstretched legs. Kent calls Jeff in a panic, asking him if he knows what's with kit's eyes, and Jeff thinks I knew I was forgetting something
and then he explains the situation to Kent, and Kent reacts exactly the way Jeff expected him to–with a sudden fierce dedication to kit, even more so than ten minutes ago when he would have died for her
Kent cat-proofs his house–he pours a lot of time and money into getting everything exactly right so Kit needn't suffer more than necessary. he lavishes Kit with all the love he's capable of–and he's always capable of a lot more love than he thinks–and makes sure that everyone coming to his house knows that one move that frightens Kit is more than enough to get them banned
so Kent pours himself heart and soul into loving kit. he spends every second he isn't on the ice taking care of his beloved baby princess
and it's incredibly healing. he knows he has to get up in the morning and come back after runs (not walk into traffic) and that he has to get done on the ice so he can come back to her
and it's incredibly healing. he knows he has to get up in the morning and come back after runs (not walk into traffic) and that he has to get done on the ice so he can come back to her
there's a period of like, six months, where the only reason Kent does anything at all is because kit needs him to. and he won't let himself think about how Jeff could also maybe take care of her. he won't.
his mom's rehab clinic is expensive but ridiculously intensive and extensive. it's almost 14 months of rehab and therapy and relearning hire to be a person without addiction, as well as working through whatever led you to seek addiction in the first place
Diana Parson comes out of it changed. she feels more like a person than ever before in her life. she feels whole, healed still, but so much better
so she goes back home, and Kent is in Vegas depressed as fuck, and his mom is in New York living for herself, and doing things she loves, and discovering herself outside of therapy
she comes back home at a time when it's incredibly difficult for Kent to do even basic things like have a conversation. so all through the season, he doesn't visit her and he can't even summon up the guilt.
and her therapist tells her it's okay, that he needs time too. and she loves him and she gives him the time she needs, but she also decides that she's stable enough to foster a child
which goes well! Lydia is 7 and slightly untrusting but Diana has patience and love and she's been reading and she's financially stable and she has time (ask things she didn't have with Kent). she has time to ask Lydia how her day went. time to play and talk and do bonding activities with just the two of them
and soon enough she and Lydia love each other so much! and they have rough times but they get through it.
the season ends. and the aces lose. and Kent is probably even worse than before. and someone suggests that since the aces will no longer be in town to make sure that Kent buys groceries/stays a person, hey you should go visit your mom!
so Kent, depressed and hating himself, gets to watch his mom get her big second chance
and he tries do hard not to be bitter but it's killing him. he keeps wondering what his life would be like if he were Lydia. if he had a financially stable supportive mom. and he can't blame his mom so he blames himself
he blames himself for needing more than she could give him. because she did her best and she raised a pro NHL player and he doesn't have any right to expect more
and one night it gets so bad that drives himself to Jeff's place
this would be okay but Jeff actually lives in Canada
he's just. in this place where Jeff is the only person that Kent knows won't hurt him
and he's so, so tired
and Jeff, chilling with his family, suddenly has an armful of distraught sleep-deprived Captain
and he's just like ......sorry I gotta take this
Kent knows where Jeff lives bc he's been there at least once before
and Kent just. breaks down. he cries for hours. and Jeff can't do anything except drag Kent up to his room and cuddle him while he cries and pet his hair. Kent cries himself to sleep, but he wakes up with Jeff wrapped around him and there's like, 14 seconds where he just feels safe and good because Jeff's there and hugging him in bed so something somewhere must have gone right
anyway Kent wakes up and gets dressed with Jeff hovering gently over him, knocking into him once in a while to make sure he's okay
(like when cats wind around your feet because they're excited to see you. except they might trip you up. the issue w Jeff is that he is Big)
he finds his phone in some weird corner of his car and plugs it in. and finds out that he has 200+ missed calls from his mom
because his mom doesn't have the numbers of any teammates she can call and she's been so worried and he feels Horrible for Being This Way
so he calls her. and she picks up on the second ring and she's been having panic attacks and flashbacks for 4 days and she doesn't remember parts of her therapy
so she yells at him. and Kent is still way too fragile to handle this but he also has to do this? and he just. panics
mother-son bonding via hyperventilating to each other on a phone line
but Jeff gets so mad on Kent's behalf, and pulls the phone out of Kent's hand and cuts the call.
but then he feels guilty so he sends her a quick text message to let her know that Kent is safe and he'll call when he feels better
and the next few days are just Jeff hugging Kent and Kent wearing Jeff's clothes everywhere because he didn't bring his own
and when they kiss it's just so natural? Kent stops hiding how much he wants Jeff. it's too much work. and Jeff is close to Kent almost all the time. and they're so stupidly in love that Jeff's older brother walks into them making out against the kitchen counter and moon walks back out
they make out for so long that every member of Jeff's family sees them and walks back out.
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fistsoffurry · 8 years ago
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Obligatory Rules Post
-I’m under 18, but over 16.
If This makes you uncomfortable, you can softblock me or tell me! Sometimes I forget to read rules, and I’m sorry about that. If you just soft block me I can’t guarantee that I won’t follow you again later if I forget, but if you’re okay with doing it again I won’t be upset if I realize! (I only mention this because letting me know why would be rad but there’s no pressure)
-Because I’m under 18, it should go without saying that I am NOT comfortable roleplaying sex or sexual situations!
For the most part, I’m okay with TALKING about it if it comes up, but you WILL be expected to respect me if I back away or tell you that I’m uncomfortable. I’m not mad, it’s nothing against you, but I’m keeping myself and you safe.
-mun =/= muse.
Nepeta can be kind of an ass. If she says something that upsets you PLEASE drop into my IMs or inbox to let me know, I’m not a mind reader and mun to mun communication is really important to me!
Do not interact if:
You roleplay or endorse incestual or abusive relationships, or relationships with large age gaps.
There are VERY FEW exceptions to this rule, but in general just. Don’t come near me. Go away. The only exception is if it’s made VERY CLEAR that you do not support these kinds of relationships and your portrayal makes it clear that it is NOT HEALTHY.
You roleplay or interact with a genderswap.
Again, very few exceptions. Trans characters are completely fine. My reasoning for this is that genderswaps change the SEX of a character, usually for sexual purposes; To give a male characters tits, to make female characters more dominant; not for the purpose of changing a character in any meaningful way.
You are involved with or interact regularly with those involved heavily with the kink community.
I don’t want fucking inflation on my dash, or any aspects of kink. I’m a minor! DDLG counts!
You are an exclusionist.
Ace, Bi, Pan, Aro, etc etc etc people belong in the LGBT community. I will not be responding to any messages or asks relating to this unless they are asking for the purposes of learning. Pedophiles do not belong in the LGBT community, they belong in jail.
You are or interact with Little/allcatsaregreyt or any of their blogs
I don’t care about the discourse, I don’t care what either side has to say about what happened. I don’t want to be involved, and I don’t want to see them on my dash. If you’re okay with interacting with them, knowing what happened, I’d like it if you could just block me and my other blogs to save me the trouble of finding out.
-If I get any hate messages directed at me, I’m not going to post them unless you submit them in Caliborn’s quirk.
You can be as mean to Nepeta as you like, but there’s a 0% tolerance policy for coming after me. (That being said, don’t be surprised if I drop into your IMs with a quick “hey, are we cool?” because sometimes I worry, even if I know it’s silly.)
-I’m not mutuals only!
Sometimes I just won’t be too interested in your character at first glance and won’t follow back, or maybe you post things that make me uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to interact with you! Open that line of communication, anyone can talk to Nepeta!
That being said, I won’t interact with personal blogs.
Side blogs TO personals are totally fine, and it’s also fine if you reply to a post from your main. I ask that you don’t reblog my threads or posts made IC if you’re a personal blog.
Interactions are online unless specified.
If you want to RP face to face, IM me or send me an ask meme! I just don’t want to be caught off guard.
Reblog karma is a thing.
Reblog karma means that if you reblog an ask meme, send me one first. It doesn’t have to be the same meme, you can look through my askmeme tag to find one, but you can’t expect to get anything in your inbox if you don’t send anything.
Tell me if you need me to tag something.
OOC
My name’s Tazz! I’m a Canadian lesbian(they/them) who loves me some homestuck. I’m in highschool taking AP classes, as well as working, so I can’t be on every day! Nepeta also isn’t my only blog so my time is kind of split!
My PMs are open, if I haven’t responded it means I haven’t seen it or I haven’t been online (or I forgot about it). Give me a day, then ping me again.
Please tag NSFW for me, and if you’re RPing smut, put it under a read more. The best option is having an NSFW sideblog but I’m not going to push that. Minors and adults have to work together to keep each other safe and if I know it’s smut or a porny drawing, I’m not going to look.
——————–
Alternate blogs! @orangeccreamsicles (No game Dirk Strider! Lives with his younger brother Dave Strider)
@erimaryquitecontrary (no game bloodswap eridan maryam)
@tazzmanian-devil (OOC)
@ask-tricksterdstri (Trickster Dave ask blog, sideblog of tazzmanian-devil)
@carnivalove (Purpleblood Nepeta Leijon for Hexflip)
@vwillain (No game Cronus Ampora, Earth)
@space--holder–holder (It’s Sans Undertale, but in space! Outertale.)
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survivorindia · 8 years ago
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Rites of Passage
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My experience was boring, I didn't get to do anything. I tried backstabbing someone but they backstabbed me first. Not much else to say, cause nothing else happened.
Lexi G:  I wanted to keep you bud and would have if you weren’t voting me. I don’t think you deserved to go first after helping with the challenge though. 
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India. Oh how I miss her. The game was such a ride even if was just for a short period. At least I left with some souvenirs, like the relationships I made and this cool looking rock.
Ashley: Okay, I didn't really get to know you well but tbh getting rocked out first is iconic and I love you. 
Lexi L: Steven Snell, You are the best and most loyal person. I mean who would go to rocks the first tribal council? YOU THATS WHO! I am so glad you are playing the game ruben and i are hosting now. That is the one good thing that came out of playing a tumblr game, meeting you. I really wish we could of played the rest of this game together.I love you and i am still so sad you got fucked by a rock.
Robin: Even though we only got to know each other you are one of my favorite people in this community. You’re so loyal and sweet. I was so upset that you ended up getting rocked out. I’ve done everything in this game with you in mind. I hope I made you proud.
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Ashley: Awe, hi Ace! I really liked getting to know you and hope you are doing well, voting you out wasn't a priority for me but it just happened to be where the numbers landed. 
Lexi L: Um i honestly don't remember you to much sorry:/
Robin: You seemed like a really nice person. I wish we could’ve gotten to play together.
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Lexi G:  We didn’t start speaking much until your tribal and I wish we had. The points you made were great and I would have kept you had the group consensus not been for you to go.
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Lexi G: We were in two games together so the working relationship was there but with limited replies, it’s hard to work with someone. I wish you made it further so we could have worked together but good luck in Hoenn!
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Rigga Morris! Listen perhaps I played too hard too fast ? But I'm happy w 1/2 of the ppl in the final so I'm love this season yes!
Ashley: Karen, Karen, Karen, I wanted to see our little "rivalry" from Sweden was behind us but unfortunately it was not. I caught wind of you actually wanting me out and so I had to do something about it. I am sorry it ended up like that. 
Lexi G:  We were never on a tribe together but I heard you’re a legend so I hope we get to speak outside of the game!
Lexi L:  I told you after Steven got rocked out that i would flip to your side and be loyal to you because i hated everyone left on my tribe besides Robin. You were fun to talk to and i was sad you got blindsided.:/ Wish we could of slayed together.
Robin: I wish we could’ve had the tribe swap earlier. I wanted to work with you so bad. Thanks for supporting me in everything!
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Lexi G: We never got to speak much but I hope everything is well and I’m sorry you had to leave the game.
Lexi L: Bernel, i'm pretty sure you quit. I forget why. We did not talk to much but for the times we did talk you seemed pretty cool.
Robin: I didn’t get to know you much but I hope you’re doing well and that you get another shot at playing.
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I figured I was on the bottom of a group and flipped to better myself - it didn't work out in the end and the group I flipped on was the group that got my torch snuffed.
Ashley: Okay I didn't talk to you at all but I hear great things about you. 
Lexi L: So you told me you were voting Liam out because he was inactive and then went and told everyone i was dating ruben from the other tribe and to get me out. You had Whitney and Liam on board. So you made it go to rocks and got my boy Steven out:/ So i dont really like you for that. 
Robin: We had a rocky relationship. I really liked you and thought we would work well together but unfortunately we ended up having different targets. 
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Ashley:  I am not even doing this one. 
Lexi G:  I pray you’re not still lost on the beach somewhere 
Lexi L: Whitney, you never liked me for some reason. Like i tried to talk to you and everything ,but you would not give me a chance lol. But i heard you went inactive once we switched tribes, which sucks because why not just of let yourself be voted out instead of letting people go to rocks.
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Okay so first and foremost, I loved this season while it lasted tbh, and im sad that I am pre-merge and 15th place once again, but who cares lol. Anyway I'm personally glad that the person who quit jury did because it gave me the opportunity I've wanted, okay done with that. I feel like this game honestly I did my best and I was proud of how I started out. It's annoying that I was voted out with little reason, and that I lost to some of the most vile people this season, but things happen you know? S/O to Jordan and sarah this season for being probably my favorite people EVER to have worked with like yall are so real I love you guys. Okay bye!!
Lexi G: I love your ability to put feminism above all else (and as I have stated numerous times before in Hoenn vl drs) I wish you had stayed in both games since I really wanted to work with you long term!
Lexi L: Ok Julia, you need to get your self checked out. I think you are messed up in the head. You attacked me for saying this game is rigged? I complained once about rig so get your facts straight. You said a bunch of mean things to me and then deleted it! LIKE WHAT!?? Don't say rude things and then delete it. Just tell me straight up how you feel.
Robin: Julia, you are such a great person honestly. The fact that you’re into with craft is so interesting. I honestly hated to see you go. It sucks that the original plan was leaked or else you would’ve stayed longer. 
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I was never really into the game to begin with, so I don’t have a lot to say. As of late I have removed myself of all games and basically from this community as a whole due to personal issues. Good game everyone! Byeee.
Ashley: See you at school! 
Lexi G: My first alliance :( I wish you had more time to play but I understand life gets busy!
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Ashley: Oh goodness, here we go. Dom, we went from being happily married to some ugly old couple who just was sick of each other. You were made out to be such a strong player and honestly everyone was scared of you. I know that if it hadn't have been for the idol I received, you would probably still be here, and I am sorry for that, but I certainly feel as though Sarah and I did what was necessary to save ourselves. 
Lexi G: You have no idea how much I appreciated being aligned with you! I saw you as a power player and we shared some fun moments so I was sad to see you go but have to admit being taken out by two idols is quite badass! I thought you had a tremendous chance at winning because of the amazing game you were playing so it was crazy how that tribal played out.
Lexi L: DOM, ugh i am so sad they got you. I loved our little alliance with Ruben, Lexi G, Jaiden and Robin. We were at the bottom but you somehow always stayed postive and helped us come up with a plan. I hated seeing you go. I loved meeting you and im glad you and Ruben bonded so i had the chance to play with you. You're amazing!
Robin: Idols really hurt us. The day of the tribal council where you left was….eventful. You deserved to stay longer than that. I hope you get to play another tumblr survivor game.
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I’m Jordan Pines
Ashley: Jordan <3 my heart broke into a million pieces when you were voted out. You had been telling us all day that everything was okay and that we had it in the bag, and then you suddenly had to go. It really sucked not having your humor and strategic thinking around. Hope to talk soon!
Lexi G: What could have been! I really really wanted to work with you long term, and I thought it could have been fun for us to switch things up in the game. Alas, someone found an idol and most of them were dead set on you going that round. I still think about, to this day, how we could have had some fun in the game and I believed you to be someone who would have loved to make crazy moves with me. I want to say thank you for talking to me regularly and being there for the times I needed to vent. I hope we get to become friends outside of this game <3
Lexi L: Jordan, you were definitely running this game. I always viewed you as a threat from the day i met you. we didn't talk much, i did not really see a point because you had your group and i had mine. You were definitely a great player though. Sorry the idol screwed you.
Robin: You’re a great liar. It’s a compliment by the way. You really had me sold that you were trying to save lexi g. Even though you might not believe it, you had a big impact on the game. I honestly got inspired with how smoothly you were able to lie and make yourself look like you were working hard to be a hero. That’s what got me going the tribal after to say so much. You were a very strong competitor. I’m sure you could’ve easily won this had you made past the first merge round.  
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Jaiden doesn’t have me on skype so he didn’t submit
Ashley: Okay Jaiden, I love you, but come on. I gave you soooooo many chances to work with me. I put my trust in you so many times and for what? I feel as though we certainly gained a friendship but eventually you being unpredictable was what made my mind up. 
Lexi G: I enjoyed talking to you as we were also in two games together, you were always so kind. I believe we had a ton of the same issues going on so I hope you are doing better and I wish you the best!
Lexi L:  Jaiden, im very sad you quit jury. The returnees did not give you a chance. I am glad they didnt though because i got the chance to work with you. You were very fun to talk to and when you played that idol on me, i knew i could trust you. I mean i knew before , but i was always a little worried. Loved playing with you!
Robin: I tried so hard to save you. The tribal council you left was a pivotal point in how I was perceived in the game. I pushed myself to play more aggressively and be more outspoken because of you. You were such a great friend in the game. It’s a bummer you left the jury. I hope everything in your life is working out well.
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Coming into this game I didn't see myself doing well at all. I mean I was in the game with my girlfriend and couldn't even lie about it because there were people that knew of the both of us already. That being said, I did a lot better than I thought I was going to. I mean I made the merge with my girlfriend lol and I played an idol on myself and made some pretty big moves while I was in the game. I was well on my way to hopefully winning this game, but people saw me as the biggest threat on the otherside and took me out. I don't think I would have done anything different, not much I could have done differently. But I think I played the best possible game I could have and I'm proud of my game. As for my first tumblr survivor journey, I made jury, idoled someone out, played a huge part in taking out one of the biggest liars and villains in Jordan, and even got a spell put on me by another jury member (who shouldn't even be a juror lol sorry Julia). Anyway my first and last journey on Tumblr Survivor was an interesting one for sure.
Ashley: Hello Ruben! I am sorry we didn't get to talk much, but it was assumed that you were the "leader" of the newbies and wouldn't want to really communicate with us returnees. The conversations we did have however I highly enjoyed. I hope you are doing well!
Lexi G: Our alliance since the beginning was everything I had hoped for and more. We looked out for each other and had to swat off the rumor that we were dating hahaha but somehow made it through all that. I very much appreciated you being the calm side of our duo and I’m happy we made the merge together. I’m excited to talk to you again soon after the game is over! 
Lexi L: You are so cute. I was mad you played this game because i definitely thought we would be out pre merge. I mean we date who would let us get this far. oh wait, they did LOL. sorry had to say it. I was sad when you went , but one of us were bound to go and i guess they saw you as more of a threat. Love you <3
Robin: You were honestly the best player in this game. You were able to predict everyone’s strategies, win competitions, and gather information. I would’ve loved to have seen you win this game. If it wouldn’t have been for you figuring out Lexi was getting votes, we would’ve all been picked off. Thank you for being such a helpful ally.
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Saying this game was messy is an understatement. Things were all over the place and it was surely interesting. Personally, I think I played a decent game, and almost made the top third. A lot of great friends came out of it, and then there's the opposite of that. (You know who you are.) it's truly a shame that I have to pick one of these remaining people to win, but may the best lady win. Prepare for hell at FTC. Ciao.~ You know who you are coughcoughalexiscoughcough
Ashley: Oh poor Liam. Rocked out because of paranoia of something that wasn't even happening. You were actually really loyal and it sucked losing you in the way we did. It would have been nice to have you here with me. 
Lexi G: We didn’t get to speak much other than my plea on the tie vote for Jaiden but so sorry you were eliminated in rocks, that’s got to be tough. I hope the blues clinch a playoff spot though!
Lexi L: Liam ok, you were supposed to go the first tribal council. You were inactive, but somehow you come out of nowhere and convice Johnny and Whitney otherwise and i mean good for you. That's a good move. We never really talked because i was salty and mad you did not go and Steven did. We never talked after that either. I think you hate me. I dont get why but it's ok. 
Robin: I wish we hadn’t messed up our relationship so much back on Nayak so we could’ve worked together at merge. I really think you could’ve won this game had the ruby idol not gotten you eliminated.
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It was super weird to come back for a fourth time, It was intense, it was crazy and the people with the most entertaining personalities are in jury. This game was drama filled..to say the least and it was SO much fun to be apart of it
Ashley: Sarah don't you dare hate me. I love you, I really do, but girl your paranoia and stuff was really bugging me. I had second thoughts on voting you out. But the thought of you making so many other chats without me in them after telling me you wanted to take me to the end was not the best feeling. In the end it was strictly strategic, you are a huge threat in games and I respect that, as I hope you can respect my move. 
Lexi G: I believe you don’t want to hear from me at all due to the message you sent me after you were voted out. However, I did genuinely want to work with you. I had hoped the villains could possibly team up since we were cannibalizing up until that point. I had voted the way you wanted me to during the tribal you played your idol. Then at the tribal you left, you didn’t tell me how you were voting and the opposing group had set their eyes on you once again while also having a lot of power so it was out of my hands during that round. You have no idea how much I was looking forward to working and calling with you more for the rounds to come but tearfully, it didn’t work out. I hope we get to speak more about it later as I’m excited to hear your thoughts during the game.
Lexi L: Sarah, I have no idea what happened with us. We never had a problem with one another and then you just went off on me. Called me Ruben's dog, which is very far from the truth and that's why it triggered me. People always think i do as ruben says in game and it couldnt be more far from the truth. He is just more vocal and i am more behind the scenes. You hate me and i don't hate you, but i think attacking me was random and uncalled for. 
Robin: I really thought I would enjoy getting to play with you. You seemed like a really nice person and you seemed to like me a lot. It’s funny how things can change though once the game gets more intense and we have to go against each other. I found out the kind of player you are and that’s why I actively tried to get you out. I want to point out that bringing up a past event of yours was not meant to be personal. This was on a blog, which is public, and anyone can access so I feel like you exaggerated what I did. I played this game with integrity and respecting everyone. You made a big deal about not getting personal with people, so I think you should take your own advice and think before you make rude comments to other people. I’m not sure if you were just trying to embrace your villain character but remember, this just a game and just because someone else outplays you, it doesn’t mean you have the right to release your anger negatively on them. You know what I’m talking about and I hope you take time in the future to apologize to that person. 
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This game was a load of fun ^__^ I got to meet some amazing people, take part in some shocking blindsides, and strategize to my heart's content. My only regret is not being more paranoid come F8-ish. Everyone was telling me to scramble more and more, but the only way I could make it further would be by trusting the people who eventually took me out... *Shrug* All in all, this was a great experience and I am very happy I got to live through it all with such a marvelous cast!
Ashley: Alright so this is a tough one. I know you are not going to really want to hear from me or are just completely pissed at me right now but I promise I had my reasons. You were never going to trust me again as you did at the beginning. I knew by the way you reacted that you would be plotting against me at some point in the future and I certainly did not want that because I know you are smart as hell and could have taken me out no sweat. So in a last minute decision, my worries got the best of me, and I am sorry for that but I hope you can respect me as a player still, and see the reasons why I made the moves I did. 
Lexi G: I believe you to be by far the scariest player, and I can’t place my finger on why. It could be attributed to your working relationships with a large majority of the cast or your ability to extract any sort of information out of any single person. I had heard some of my allies giving up information that I did not want them to, to you so it’s quite crazy how you had that effect on people. I heard a TON of things about your game and it was intimidating, but I really want the chance to play with you again and I pray that we could even be on the same side.
Lexi L: Gavin, I don’t know how to feel about you. My relationship with you was the same i had with Alex. We always tried to talk about game but never did. I heard what you did to Ruben though and it made me very upset. I think you played an ok game . You just, i don't know. I never wanted to talk game with you because i knew you were kind of a snake. I do want to thank you for telling ruben to play an idol on me that round though!
Robin: We had such a complex relationship. I feel like the two of us were being mislead by other people. If we would’ve just trusted each other, we probably could’ve done so much together.
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Ashley: Okay so this one actually wasn't completely my fault but I still hate myself for it. I should have voted with you guys and gone to rocks. Which is something that in previous games I would never do. But Alex you are such a genuine person, you didn't hate me for choices I made but instead came and asked me why I did the things I did. You didn't judge me or want me gone, you truly just wanted to understand and that is why I wanted you to be here with me at the end because if I can't win I would have hoped you could have at least. 
Lexi G: This is hard due to me knowing that you wanted to help me out a bit as you believed me to be on the bottom of my side but it was difficult to align when I wasn’t told how the tribal would be playing out most of the time and the result I was told to expect didn’t happen. I did try to make sure the vote wasn’t you a few rounds to try and repay for the times you had told me you hadn’t written my name down. You were a great player and you knew that as you said in your final tribal so I hope you’re not mad that I took out a clear winner. You had it all in this game; social, strategic and were great in the challenges.
Lexi L: Alex, You were a funny person and i wish we could of talked more and maybe even worked together. You were set in your alliance and i was set in mine. I definitely viewed you as a threat too. You were likeable and never crossed anyone. I respect you and have no bad words for you.
Robin: I really admire how articulate you are. You came off as a very persuasive person. I was afraid of you the entire game. You were so social and at least with me, you knew what words to use to get me to open up and appreciate you. I’m sure you could’ve won this game by a landslide.
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In the words of the great scholar Linkin Park, "I tried so hard and that's alright but in the end it doesn't even matter,"
Ashley: Ugh Kendall you tried so hard, your slideshow was amazing, kinda wish I had you to share cookies with. We knew it was kind of hopeless but we still tried. And that is all we could really have done. It really sucked that you left, and I know I haven't been the best person throughout this game, but you have always made me laugh and I truly adore you as a human being.
Lexi G:  As outrageous as it sounds, I’m not a sociopath like you believe I am. I genuinely did feel like shit for a large part of the game but I was not on the bottom as I had said. I needed to try and avoid getting votes for tribals to come so I had to play up the “trio” on our side to survive. The issues I opened up about indirectly regarding my actual life were true sadly. I thank you for letting me vent to you and I’m sorry if you were hurt on a personal level. If you had told me more of what was going on during the rounds before, I would have loved to work with you but you didn’t seem to trust me. I did enjoy those earlier conversations before the merge when we had spoken about our weird humor so I’m painfully sad that it didn’t end up working out. I’m positive you hate me so I’ll end this here and wish you the best.
Lexi L: KENDALL, ugh i connected with you the most more than most people in this game. You are so odd and funny. I mean that in a very good way. I loved talking to you. I always said if i got out and you made it to the end, you would of definitely got my vote. No one hated you and i mean how could they. I hope we talk after this game is over. Dead babies for life!
Robin: Well, you were the most surprising out of everyone. The way you were able to stay in the game and never have your name thrown out showed how big of a threat you were. I saw myself working with you back on the Hero beach but the whole returnees vs newbies thing ended up forcing us on opposite sides.
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