do you have any smut writing tips?? i've been reading froot and it's so good!!! you do such a great job at keeping each chapter interesting and the smut doesn't feel repetitive at all!!! show me your ways pls???
thank you so much!!!!😊😊😊 im so happy you enjoyed it!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️
(also sorry for not responding earlier!! for some reason i never got a notification that i had an ask)
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️NSFW and Graphic Descriptions Below❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
and as for the smut writing tips (you bet i have some!!), i really just try to keep in mind what the character point of view (in the case of froot juice, lance) is feeling, in their situation as well as what they’re doing
the number one thing i think i do is try to use all the five senses by the end of the scene, describing in detail something they touch, see, taste, smell, and hear.
-where are they? what are they doing? how are they acting?
if they’re in public or scared of being caught, areand if under a time constraint and trying to get through it quickly they might whisper lowly to each other, so they’d have to lean in close to each other when that happens when that happens they might use one of their five senses smell cologne, or sweat, they might feel warm with the proximity, they might get ticklish from having someone whisper in their ear.
if they’re alone and have plenty of time to themselves they might be louder, more willing to yell or make sounds.
when it comes to avoiding repetition in both cases it might be better to disperse ‘telling’ and ‘showing’ writing like ‘he groaned’ versus an onomatopoeia like ‘hnnnng’ ‘ah ahhh hahhnn’ in which the sound indicates they are groaning/moaning. another thing you could do to sort of spice up the former would be to add a motion with the action like ‘he groaned into his mouth, he moaned into his shoulder, he whined against the pillow’
-where is their body? how is it doing?
a good way that i use to make sure their actions are consistent is thinking about their body placement and keeping track of where it is like how at one point lance was bent over a storage unit and with keith pushing him up he had to stand on his toes, it’s a small detail but gives off a sense of not being fully in control, not being able to find his footing and making it more that he was getting lost in the sensations.
if they’re on top they have more control, they control the pace, they can hold down hands, etc. on the bottom they might be more constricted, the amount of movement the have is limited so when they’re trying to express what they feel they might ‘writhe’ etc.
a way ive seen in all the great smut fics ive read is that the writing makes a lot of emphasis on the povs experience, basically trying to get the person reading into their state of mind, emotions, feel what they feel.
so in sex: are they out of breath? are their thighs sore? are they slipping and have to keep maintaining their footing? are they sore? if so where?
and then their bodily functions/condition: are they drooling? are they cold? are they hot? sweating? panting?
-how are they feeling/emotional connection?
another factor i feel is really important is emotions (in the case of froot juice it starts with very little emotional connection or association in their actions as it drags on certain moments become more tender between them from the development or rough and quick fucking to rough and quick but also tender)
depending on the ship, fic, situation, etc there might be no emotional attachment in which case it’s a matter of amplifying how the character feels physically.
for emotional connection: do their meet eyes? how does it feel when they do, do they take a second to stare and just absorb? what is the stare like? soft? tender? sweet? loving? hazy because they’re lost in lust?
there’s lots of ways to show emotional care, intertwining fingers during sex acts, stroking hair, sides, backs, cupping someones face in your hands, kisses, etc.
and then physically how their body is doing: in smut the focal point is whatever is giving or receiving pleasure,- in that case how does it feel?
it will differ depending on the action like if it’s penetration (different for fingers tongues, dildos, or dicks), blowjobs, going down on someone. each actions has certain things attached to it like they heat of a mouth, slickness or stickiness of saliva, flexibility of a tongue or fingers.
- the buildup
when i first started writing fan fiction i tried doing a lot of research into writing and things and ended up coming across lots of critique posts like people saying that anal without lube is a turn off for readers, that bad prep scenes in writing are no good, etc.
truth is, all that is really preference based and not actual valid critiques since they didn’t even offer alternatives or options for how to write differently.
buildup is like, implying certain actions i think. depending on pace you’ll either write out all the prep or if it’s more faster paced implied actions can also suffice.
like placing a sentence that’s like ‘he pulled the lube out from under the pillow’- that by itself is good enough for me in some cases because obviously if he’s pulling it out he’s going to use it, and everyone’s read 101 different ways how.
(**** also side not just to make sure, fanfic sex doesn’t have to be realistic, in most cases smut and sex in fanfiction is idealized and while adding elements of realism to fics is good and all it’s really a matter of personal choice and writing style it’s not necessarily a strict ‘you have to’ it’s okay to write slightly or completely unrealistic sex, plenty of people out there will like it either way****)
buildup is also trying to play up the feelings of horniness to the max (depending on the atosphere of the scene, it its more emotional it might be better to go slower and focus on actions rather than feelings of arousal)
and then finally
the finale/climax
in smut you’re building up towards the finale which is them orgasming or feeling some deeper emotional connection. this could precede the physical actions since something in a lot of cases catalyzes it like someone looking into someones eyes and feeling love which is followed by their release.
and this is, in my opinion, probably the hardest to pin down consistently in writing and a adore the people who’ve got it down pat. the feeling itself could be described ina variety of different ways:
- like heat, like sparks behind their eyelids, like shivers traveling down their spine, etc.
in additon to that are their other body reactions
-their toes curling, their hands gripping something in a white knuckle grip, biting down on their lip to muffle their sounds, gasping, squeezing their eyes shut, their eyes rolling to their back of their heads, crying, etc.
and after all this, if all else fails- porn is always a great reference. (sure a lot of it is acted up but it could serve as a good model if you’re really stuck)
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
hopefully this helped!!!
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Fantasies and Fanfics
Pairing: Dean x reader
Word Count: 555
Warnings: Implied smut
Summary: You got bored waiting for Dean to come home, once he does he finds you on some site called Tumblr
A/N: I don’t know where this came from, Im sure a hundred people have already done something like this, but oh well, here’s my take on it.
This was fast written and unbeta’d, sorry if its hard to read, im tired.
FEEDBACK IS MY SUSTENANCE!!!
“Hey, what are you up to?” Dean asked as he approached you.
You’d been sitting in the library for more than an hour now, Dean just arriving home from a hunt, walked up to you while you scrolled on your laptop. He took a seat beside you, waiting for an answer.
“I’m on tumblr.” You answered softly, focused on reading a very suggestive short story. You couldn’t help it, trying to bite back the grin that was appearing on your face.
“What the hell is tumblr?” Dean asked, giving you a look as you laughed, looking to him with enthusiasm.
“It’s this site where people can share stuff that they create, writing, images, drawings, gifs.”
“Gifs?”
You nod, “Yeah, gifs.” You laugh, “It’s awesome, there are a ton of people who are totally obsessed with the Supernatural books. You wouldn’t believe how much fanfiction there is!”
“Fanfict- people are writing fanfiction? Still?” He demanded, making you chuckle as you remembered the play Supernatural, put on by the girls school.
“Yes, and it’s awesome.” You laughed, “These people are obsessed with you and Sam! It’s amazing, you, you have got to read some of the destiel AU’s they have.”
“Destie- No, turn that off.” Dean said, clearly having enough,
“No seriously, Dean… look at this, these people have no shame!” You said, trying to show him.
“I don’t wanna see someone elses interpretation of my life, Y/N.” Dean insisted, “Who do these people think they are?”
“Well, to be fair… like, 99.999% of them think you’re nothing more than fictional characters. Only god and three other people know about your genuine existence.”
“That’s no excuse for writing stories where I-” He said, looking at the computer, he read a few words and his expression changed, earning a laugh from you.
“Oh yeah, people write stories about you in bed.” You cover your mouth as you watch him, his eyes flit between you and the screen, “The funny thing, a lot of them are actually pretty damn accurate.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me. What are you doing reading this crap anyway when you have the real thing?” He asked, his anger draining away as he appeared more playful.
“Well I mean, you’re not always around,” You pointed out, “And a girl sure gets lonely.” You sighed, pretending to be all innocent.
“Oh brother,” Dean groaned, looking back at the computer.
“Isn’t it awesome,” You chuckled as he read, his expression twisting and turning.
“What the- is that even possible?” Dean asked as he looked over the words. You shrugged
“I dunno, I don’t research, I just write.” You laughed.
“You- You did this?” Dean demanded, you pursed your lips and blushed, a devilish smirk on your face.
“Maybe.” You grinned,
“How come you’re never like that in bed?” Dean demanded, gesturing to the laptop.
“I have a creative mind, not body.” You informed him, earning a smirk from Dean.
“You never know unless you try.” He muttered, leaning over and kissing you just beneath your jaw.
You let out a groan, smirking wildly,
“I guess we’ll never know then.” You smirked, Dean pulled back and gave you a look.
“Fuck that.” He said, closing your laptop and lifting you in his arms, carrying you to your shared room to live out one of your fantasies.
TAG LIST IS WIDE OPEN!
Dream Team
@spn67-sister @queen-of-deans-booty @ria132love @winchestergeekfreak @maui137 @katymacsupernatural @jayneysimp @emoryhemsworth @just-another-busy-fangirl @bunniesowlsandwhales
Dean Team
@akshi8278 @polina-93 @aubreystilinski
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You know what you dared (anyone really) me personally to send all the writer asks so FUCKIBG ALL OF THEM BETCH
1. Favorite place to write. - I really like taking my laptop with me and writing at parks or in hotel lobbies when my fam travels, but its comfortable and familiar to write at my desk in my room2. Favorite part of writing. - letting characters be sassy and snarky. also letting characters heal.3. Least favorite part of writing. - actually putting words on the page lmfao4. Do you have writing habits or rituals? - i put on my writing playlist and if i can grab a diet coke bc it helps me feel like im ready to be productive5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most. - ooh, for writing style Caroline Lawrence’s books influenced me a lot when i was younger and more recently @lbardugo and six of crows6. Favorite character you ever created. - ahhh probably Linde, a shapeshifter who rejects all human concepts including gender7. Favorite author. - again, Leigh Bardugo. also @canipetyourdragon but like technically shes not published yet 8. Favorite trope to write. - enemies to lovers lmfao9. Least favorite trope to write. - ahh idek 10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about. - @canipetyourdragon and we’d probs write abt some wacky adventure11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish. - 1) have an idea and daydream abt it for a month 2) worldbuilding/character building for a g e s 3) finally get around to writing a shitty draft 4) s u f f e r 12. How do you deal with self-doubts? - whine at someone and then remind myself that nothing starts perfect and i have time to make it better. tbqh a lot of the time i remind myself that Six of Crows started as smthn like 31,000 words and is a lot longer in the final form and, no offense to leigh, was probs kinda crap at first lmfao13. How do you deal with writers block? - i remind myself that its not gonna get written if i dont write it, i sit my ass down, and i write something. anything. any stupid sentence. and then i write another one.14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book? - hoo boi am i bad at research n o t m u c h 15. Where does your inspiration come from? - a lot of my inspiration comes from music and other books, i have playlists that remind me of my characters and story on spotify and those help a lot16. Where do you take your motivation from? - i remember that i’ve always wanted to be a writer since i was like 5 and could barely write my name and i think about how much i want that to be a reality.17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day? - ehh i’d say maybe 400 words on average? the least ive written recently is 100 words the most was 1,50018. What’s your revision or rewriting process like? - ah i havent worked on one story enough to know yet19. First line of a WIP you’re working on. - No matter how many she saw, Siora couldn’t get used to Outer Land bars.
20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on. - “In a shocking plot twist, the rich Kitonian girl used to be a thief,” Linde said, mimicking some sort of announcer.
“Are you just here to add sarcastic commentary?” Siora glared at them.
She seems to glare at them a lot, Dema thought.
“That’s the whole reason I’m following you,” they said, then added, “Don’t give me that look, you know I don’t really care about the war.”
“My question is why is Siora still putting up with you,” Asteria laughed.
“Don’t give me any ideas,” The Beati girl grumbled, a smile playing on her lips.
“Oh yes, don’t encourage her. She might try to hurt me with one of her toothpicks.”
Dema laughed, “Don’t insult a lady’s knives, it’s not wise.”
“What’s a lady?” The Gerum asked, feigning confusion.
“Dema is a lady,” Asteria kissed the girl on the cheek, laughing.
“Doesn’t seem very ladylike to me,” Siora snorted.
“Like you’re one to talk,” Dema shot back.
“If anyone here is a lady, it’s me,” Linde said, sticking their nose in the air.
“You aren’t even a girl!” Asteria shrieked, grinning.
“Fair enough,” They nodded.
21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s. - “Yep, now we’re just doing a final check to make sure we have everything,” The girl said without looking up.22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you? - ahh depends i havent really “completed” any big projects, but for short stories usually only one or two23. Single or multi POV, and why? - multiple because i have so many characters and none of them is really the /main/ character24. Poetry or prose, and why? - i love prose but tbh im a poet at heart i write a l o t of poetry
25. Linear or non-linear, and why? - linear, otherwise i get too confused26. Standalone or series, and why? - standalone, because i think the story im working on rn is only one book long. altho i do have another story in this world planned dont tell anyone 27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? - i share as i write
28. And who do you share them with? only sharing with @canipetyourdragon tho29. Who do you write for? - myself and my future readers30. Favorite line you’ve ever written. - for prose? “You complain so much I’m starting to think it’s a religious observance,” Siora said, leaning against the wall. the answer is dif for poetry tho31. Hardest character to write. - a s t e r i a i love her but shes not fully fleshed out yet. also shes so good32. Easiest character to write. - linde that snarky bastard33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing? - yep i have a playlist that reminds me of my story34. Handwritten notes or typed notes? - both35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story. - Siora was raised to be the right hand guard of the princess, but was exiled when she died.36. A spoiler for story? - the villain gets redeemed37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you. - hm i really dont know. writing wise, i love the quote “if the muse is late for work, start without her.”
38. Have you shared your outline of your story with someone? If so, what did they think of it? - I tell wyna about all my story shenanigans and schemes, and so far i think she likes it lmao39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.- not characters i like. sometimes background redshirts are based on people i hate so that i can kill them40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why? - both. I love writing fanfiction, but i also have a lot of original stories to tell41. How many stories do you work on at one time? - only one at a time for me42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc. - a lot of the time it just comes to me, but i also answer ask memes like this as that character43. Are you an avid reader? - y e s 44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. - hm im really not sure45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. - most unhelpful? “it sucked ass” - daedalus46. What would your story look like as a tv show or movie? - o h dude i would love to see it as a movie it would be a really cool fantasy aesthetic omg the effects for the shapeshifters would be so cool to see
47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story? - this story actually started with setting48. Favorite genre to write in. - YA isnt a genre is it? technically fantasy i guess49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end? - the middle for sure50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had. - idk abt story idea but when i was 12 i killed a character by turning him into a tortilla ¯\_(ツ)_/¯51. Describe the aesthetic of your story in 5 sentences or words. - fantasy eclectic influence and design.52. How did writing change you? - honestly writing poetry gave me a way to express my feelings safely. it honest to gods helped me stop self-harming.53. What does writing mean to you? - to me it means putting my ideas and thoughts and self into the world in a way that people (hopefully) read and enjoy54. Any writing advice you want to share? - start writing and dont stop. if you think that its crap, remember that everything starts as crap, and if you think no one in the world wants to read it, remember that i definitely want to read it if you tell me about it.
tysm for asking omg!
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BIGBANG - MAFIA!AU - SERIES 3
A BIGBANG FANFICTION
Summary: The saying goes, ‘the mafia is family, the mafia is home’...but even if ‘the mafia is home’...is it really the right place to raise a child?
A/N: ARE WE READY?!?! Mafia is back! And this time we see Seunghyun’s quest for the truth, and Jiyong’s want for his own little family. But BEWARE...everything is not as it seems...O.o
Masterlist (including series one and two)
Chapter 1
‘Back gate, right hand side, 5 paces away….4….3….2-‘
The sound of a single gunshot piercing through your ear piece makes your limbs lock momentarily before the sound of a body dropping to the ground reaches you and you stand up from where you’d been crouched behind the fence watching the approach of the assassin’s footsteps.
You start sprinting across the shipping yard immediately, following the map that you memorised in your head as you continue to scan the area and listen to the directions being given through the ear piece to the others.
‘Two more have been sent out. They’re getting suspicious. I give you approximately 3 minutes to shut everything down. …God. This is so boring-‘
‘Youngbae, shut up.’
You smirk at Jiyong’s quick disciplining of his friends whining through your earpiece, the shortest man having been wrapped into being the eyes and ears of the operation back at HQ after he’d suffered a serious leg injury a few days before which had made him unable to leave the mansion- something that you’d all heard about far more than you’d have liked to.
The operation you were all on now was simple, a rouge gang had set up base on the edges of Seoul without permission, and refused to abide by the rules, and therefore Jiyong had demanded that they be taken out. He’d given them 2 chances to adhere to the laws of his empire, but after a shoot-out cropping up in an abandoned factory in Hongdae, and numerous robberies and raids being staged in the lower Gangnam areas, he’d decided there was only one option; dispose of the gang responsible.
And tonight was the deadline.
‘Daesung, are you in position?’ Jiyong asks, as you stalk over to the bordering fence on the top of the hill that overlooked the gang’s base below, keeping yourself in the shadows as you observe the group that appeared to be caught between a meeting and being a little anxious.
‘Yes.’ Comes Daseung’s reply, his straight forward, no nonsense tone making you smile as your eyes catch on one man imparticular who looked like the dictator of the group.
‘Hyung?’
‘Affirmative.’
‘Youngbae?’
‘Obviously.’
‘Seungri-‘
‘Been waiting for hours.’
The two seconds of silence that should have been filled with your name has you frowning suddenly, but just as you go to tell Jiyong you were also in place, eagle eyed vision that had been trained into you courtesy of Daesung still on the man below who was now suspiciously watching the main entrance to the small area the group was hauled up in, you become aware of a presence behind you.
Before you can turn to confront whoever it was, their voice is filling your ear and you instantly relax into his hold as his hands settle on your waist.
‘Ready, Beautiful?’
You could feel your focus slipping minutely as his breath tickles your neck, a smile pulling at the edges of your mouth as the two of you stare down at the people milling around like rats below you, a few appearing to arm themselves, and you feel his smirk against your cheek as it matches you own, the two of you knowing that their defence was going to be futile against the pure power of your mafia.
‘Im always ready.’ You whisper, turning your head slightly towards him and seeing him smile down at you, lips thinning and eyes scrunching up a little as the expression takes over his face, before he leans toward you, mouth lingering oh so close to yours, and you find your focus waning more in your want for him, the same want that had caused your skin to burn from within since the very first kiss.
But in typical teasing Jiyong style, he only drops a chaste kiss to your lips before pulling away and fixing you with a menacing, cheeky, excited look.
‘Then lets show everyone how its done.’
‘2 and a half minutes…not our best, but it is the third fastest time we’ve ever taken to demolish a gang.’ Seungri announces as you all sit around for the debriefing meeting after getting back from the take out. You were leaning over Jiyong as he sat in one of the cushioned chairs dotted around the office, cleaning some cuts that he’d got in the middle of the fight, and covering them with plasters until he looked like a young child that had fell over numerous times in the playground.
‘The more important issue at the minute Seungri, is filing the background of the gang so that we can do a quick sweep on any remaining members who might never have come to the city. Then we issue a warning to them not to come to Seoul, and we make sure we don’t get caught by surprise if they choose to retaliate. -Youngbae I’ll leave the research to you, since sitting in front of a computer has become your new speciality.’ Jiyong dictates as he looks over at the man in question sat behind your desk, Youngbae sneering back at him which makes the man in front of you smirk, before you perch on the edge of the chair, feeling him slip his arm around your hip and squeeze your thigh subconsciously as he turns his attention to the oldest of the group.
‘Whats the bullet situation, hyung? Do we need to restock on reserves, update our suppliers or weaponry, invest in some new…- hyung?’
‘Hm?’
You had noticed at the same time Jiyong seemed to that Seunghyun wasn’t listening, the way he lifts his head from staring down into his wine glass, his eyes being distant and hung with dark bags that lurk beneath, revealing that he hadn’t been present for the entire conversation, and instantly making you wary of his tired expression.
‘Uh…Daesung can you go and do the general checks on security and maintenance and-‘
‘On it.’ The elusive man answers before Jiyong can even finish, his eyes still shifting uneasily between Seunghyun and the rest of the room, the older man upon noticing this, sighing heavily and downing his glass, before standing up and making to leave the room before he could get caught up in a serious conversation...but obviously Jiyong wasn’t going to let him go without questioning him.
‘Hyung, wait. Sit back down.’ Ji commands, shooting his older friend a look which causes him to nod shortly, slightly disgruntled, before standing in the spot he’d come to stop, and watching as Seungri helps to haul Youngbae out of the room on Jiyong’s hand-gesture for them to leave, the youngest man throwing Youngbae’s arm over his shoulder and pretty much swinging him out of the doorway as he protests at his roughness.
You make to leave as well, figuring you’d probably find out about whatever was bothering Seunghyun later from Jiyong anyway. However, as you go to get up, you feel Jiyong’s hand clamp down on your thigh, and you look down to see him shake his head minutely, not looking at you, but telling you without words that he wanted you to stay.
The silence that takes over the room when the door clicks shut afterwards could have been cut with a knife.
‘What can I do for you, Jiyong?’ Seunghyun speaks up after a solid minute of quiet, and its not until he breaks the silence that you realize you hadn’t been breathing, and you let out a quiet sigh of relief-
-but that’s before Jiyong speaks up.
‘Why are you so distracted, hyung?’
His voice is soft, a note of caring being evident in the way he addresses the question to his older brother, and if it wasn’t for the tick in his eyebrow you’d believe the question to be being asked on a friend level, rather than authoritative. However, just when you think a heated debate would ensue from the question, you watch Seunghyun walk over to the window and look out distractedly, before responding.
‘Kyungil told me that whoever sent him... was looking for me.’
At first you’re confused, having forgotten about the man that had broken into the house a week before, since no-one had mentioned it since the day. But once your brain had had a few seconds to compute the name, you realize what Seunghyun had said, and you frown over at him in confusion, thoughts of just what he’d done to the prisoner, mixing in with questions surrounding how he’d come to know this... and how long he’d known for.
‘He hasn’t told you who it was though?’ Jiyong asks bluntly, appearing to be completely unfazed by the suddenness of Seunghyun’s confession, and it takes only a brief glance at him for you to see by the steely gaze he was watching Seunghyun with, revealing that he was compartmentalizing the information he was receiving in his mind- this including Seunghyun’s subconscious actions and responses to the situation you were in now.
‘…No. According to him the set up was such that he never knew who the order originally came from…although he did tell me who his boss is who received the order in the first place, he didn’t-‘
‘And you’re only thinking to mention this now?!’
Jiyong snapping at Seunghyun has your spine instantly straightening in response, your glance over at the older man revealing how he was clenching his jaw in barely restrained frustration as he stares over at the man beside you, the look deadly in your opinion, but not touching Jiyong as he stares back in wait of an answer.
‘In the midst of the issue with the gang we just demolished, I judged it as less important.’ The older man answers calmly, his answer almost murmured with how tight his lips were pressed in an attempt to keep his anger under control, but you should have known Jiyong wouldn’t bother to hold back.
‘We’re not children, Hyung. We can multi-task. And when there is a threat on the life of someone in my gang, I’d appreciate knowing about it the second it becomes apparent! Besides, since when was it your call to make whether it was ‘less important’ or not?! There is someone after you, and you’re treating it as a minor inconvenience, rather than the threat that it IS!’ Jiyong shouts, shooting up from the chair and planting his feet as he snaps at the older man, gesturing wildly in his anger, and it’s the second he gets close enough to hit Seunghyun on the chest in an attempt to get his point across, that the other man finally breaks out of his own control.
‘HOW CAN YOU SHOUT AT ME ABOUT NOT CARING ABOUT A THREAT ON MY LIFE, WHEN ALL WE’VE DONE FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS IS PROTECT SOME GIRL YOU PICKED UP FOR MONEY?! We’ve put our lives on the line for Y/N time and time again at your every command, with the specific order that its her, or death, but NOW…NOW?! you expect me to think about myself?!’ Seunghyung spits, his harsh words forcing you to freeze in place as the subject is turned on you, and you wish you could curl into a ball, or become some insignificant object in the room. But instead you’re left with your heart racing as you watch Jiyong scoff darkly at Seunghyun before suddenly surging at him and shoving him back into the wall, the older man smirking darkly as he lets him.
‘What is this really about?! Why are you really angry!? …cause I know you, hyung…and I know that you wouldn’t be acting like this if you weren’t-‘
He trails off.
You’re only able to see Seunghyun’s face from your position on the chair, but even without seeing Jiyong’s expression, you’re aware of the change in atmosphere between the two, Jiyong pausing with his hands still clenched in the other man’s shirt, before suddenly shoving him back uselessly against the wall and letting go, turning back with his head bowed and pacing to the opposite side of the room.
There is silence for a minute, the three of you caught in suspense as Jiyong leans against the opposite wall, and despite you looking over at Seunghyun in an attempt to receive some answers, you simply see him continuing to stare at his younger brother, an indistinguishable expression on his face, before he bows his head momentarily and turns toward the door.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He mutters, swiping at the newly made creases in his shirt as he takes a step toward the exit, before getting stopped by Jiyong speaking up.
‘Make Daesung stay with you during watch duty. I’ll give orders to the security team-‘
‘-Jiyong-‘
‘-so that we’re aware of any disturbances, and I’ll contact Jiho to get his men to give out orders for patrols to the nearest gangs,-’
‘-Jiyong, I-’
‘-I expect he’ll get Kyung on communication monitoring…but for now, I’ll just tell him there is a threat to someone inside, they don’t need to know who…’ he murmurs, trailing off, but still refusing to look at the older man who’d tried to interrupt him repeatedly, as he watches out the window from the opposite side of the room, face expressionless…leaving no room for argument.
It takes Seunghyun a moment, being caught in the same position of de-wrinkling his shirt during the whole time Jiyong had spoken, before slowly dropping his hands to his wrist cuffs, and softly touching the cufflinks- almost thoughtfully- before lifting his head with a deep breath and fixing a polite smile on his face as he briefly turns to nod at the other man.
‘Acknowledged. Goodnight, Jiyong, Y/N.’
And with that, he was gone.
You end up sat in place for at least 5 minutes as you wait for Jiyong to speak up after Seunghyun had left, finding yourself picking at your nails by the time he finally pushes himself off of the wall with a sigh and walks over to the desk, collapsing into the chair and looking over at you tiredly, smiling without enthusiasm when he sees you watching him.
‘Not the end to the night I imagined.’ He murmurs, his eyes glazing over as he hangs his head back against the chair in exhaustion, and the move has you on your feet and moving over to him instantly, coming to stop behind him and lowering your hands to his shoulders as you go to work out the knots in his muscles.
‘At least now you’re aware of the threat. …I just cant help but wonder how long he’s been sat on the information…and why he didn’t tell you straight away…’ you murmur, voicing your thoughts out loud and instantly regretting it when it computes in your mind that it might get Jiyong riled up again.
Luckily for you, however, he seemed to have burned his anger out for the night, and instead of saying anything else regarding the matter, he simply reaches his hands up to find yours and links your fingers together, pulling you forward so that you were lent over his back with your arms around him, the move making you smile as you nuzzle his neck fondly.
‘Do you fancy getting out of here for the night?’ he murmurs, turning his head toward you and kissing your cheek, his lips lingering to make a shiver roll up your spine, and you’re quickly turning to look at him, smiling as you nod, before finding yourself chuckling against his lips as he captures your mouth with his, before pulling away with his own grin as he jumps to his feet and clasps your hand in his.
‘Gaja!’
You could feel your humid pants bouncing back from the wall and making your skin clammy as you blearily stare down the corridor, not seeing anything, too busy lost in the feeling of Jiyong clasping you to him as he groans with his final thrust into you, his mouth clamped on your neck as his teeth use you for purchase; to ground himself, and to mark you as his.
Strangled pants leave you as you feel the high beginning to seep from your muscles, your arms that are locked around your lover’s neck slowly loosening their grip to allow him to move again, but he simply remains buried in your neck, trapping you between his body and the wall of the apartment’s hallway, after he’d brought you back to the old HQ to escape the confines of the mansion.
‘I love you, my Y/N…I’ll protect you with my life... as long as you always stay mine.’ He whispers quietly between heavy breaths, seeming to get his breath back quicker than you as he murmurs the words against the skin of your neck, taking a moment to suck a lingering kiss next to your spine at the back of your neck, the action making you weak-kneed, before he finally carries you to the bedroom you used to share.
Despite the sheets being cold on your skin as you lay down, you still find yourself curling into the comfort the material offered, enjoying the familiarity of it after having spent a good 2-3 years of your life laid in its confines, smiling even wider when Jiyong rolls onto the bed on the other side of you, entire body bare, and beautiful as ever.
You’d never get bored of admiring his physique, of his pure brilliance that shone from every sculpted muscle, the expanse of his flawlessly, permanently sun-kissed skin glowing in the pale moonlight that illuminated the room through the window, and his model-like, ambiguous facial features that only increased his beauty, making him unique…one-of-a-kind…
...and all yours.
You watch him slowly fall into the realms of sleep, smiling when he-almost subconsciously- reaches over for you, his hand making contact with your thigh and trying to pull it towards him before he realizes sleepily that it was too big to be your wrist. He exhaustedly peers one eye open to find you chuckling at him as he finally reaches for your hand, before continuing to go to sleep as he pulls your arm over to lay your hand on his chest, over his heart, his own hand maintaining its hold on your wrist even as he begins to snore lightly, and its as you watch him that your mind drifts back to the conversation that Jiyong had attempted to have with you the previous week.
…a baby…
You’d only been able to stare at him when he’d put the suggestion to you, not knowing whether to believe that he was being serious or not, but after the two of you had been watching each other in silence for well over 2 minutes straight, the bath water seeming to grow colder around you with each second that passed, you’d just ended up chuckling humorlessly and asking ‘do you want to watch a film later?’ before laying your head back on his chest and closing your eyes. The signal was clear enough that he didn’t press you on it, and after a moment of being still he’d simply sighed quietly and held you close against him…
…but the discussion had continued to haunt your every waking thought for the past 7 days.
It was looking at his face in that moment, imagining it on a child, and imagining being able to stroke its cheek as you were doing to Jiyong then, that sparked the flickering of an interest in you to know what it would be like to have a child in your life.
Ever since you were a young girl and you were able to understand the significance and meaning of a baby, it had been drilled into you that that was a part of life; that you were put on the planet to bear children and that that was just how it was.
But after going through the separation and abandonment from your parents and your brother, and witnessing the heartbreak that came from the life you lead, the danger it entailed, and the earth crushing mental destruction that it came with, the want for a child had been replaced by fear, and the thought had never crossed your mind again.
…Until now.
…Until Jiyong had made it obvious that he wanted one.
Because even though you’d always wanted to give Jiyong everything, endeavoring to provide everything and anything that he desired…
…you weren’t entirely sure you could give him this…
‘Can’t sleep?’
His quite murmur surprises you where you’d thought he was sleeping, and you’re moving your gaze that had been fixed on his hand laid over yours on his chest to look up at his face, seeing him sleepily looking back at you, but not bothering to fix a smile on your face in response; he could read you like a book anyway.
‘Just thinking about stuff.’ You whisper back, becoming aware of the cavernous feeling of the room as your words disperse into the darkness, and shuffling towards him as a result, sighing contently when he moves his arm to lay around your shoulders, and you hold his torso more firmly with your arm, laying your head comfortably on his chest as you entwine your legs with his.
‘Wanna tell me about it?’ he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your hair in encouragement, and just as you go to immediately say no, you find something in you wanting to talk about it, to find out just how much Jiyong wanted a child, the thought that if you knew it might convince you...
But just as the words are on the tip of your tongue, he’s whispering in your ear once more.
‘Whatever it is, Jagi…you know I’ll listen to you.’ He murmurs, his voice laden with sleep, and the sound makes your want to tell him take a step back in favor of your need and want for him to get enough sleep.
‘Its nothing huge…I’ll tell you in the morning.’ You murmur back after a moment, tilting your head up to shoot him a small smile and quickly leaning up to peck him on the lips as he makes to protest, before settling yourself back on his chest, hearing him sigh as he silently agrees to let it go till the next day, and feeling yourself calm as he tightens his hold on you as the two of you proceed to succumb to sleep.
However, when you woke up the following morning to cold sheets beneath your hands, only a light blanket covering your body and the light flooding into the room revealing the long since deserted spot on the bed before you, you begin to think that maybe he was keeping his own thoughts from you too...
SEUNGHYUN
‘Leave Daesung, you look exhausted.’ Seunghyun says as he eyes his friend from across the barn, seeing the deathly dark circles beneath his eyes, and te weary sag of his usually taught shoulders, and becoming determined in his will to make sure he rested.
‘Jiyong-hyung said I had to stay on watch duty with you-‘
‘And I’m saying you need to get rest. He has all levels of security on the premises and surrounding areas, Seungri should clock in in about half an hour anyway, and no doubt he will come to check here first, so just…go.’ Seunghyun argues, shooting Daesung the authoritative stare that he’d come to master over the 14 plus years he’d been involved with the others, and seeing it take immediate effect on his most beloved Dongsaeng as he pushes himself up from the chair he’d been sat in watching the other captives, before making his way over to Seunghyun.
‘I’ll call Seungri to tell him to hurry up.’ He murmurs, as he passes, and the older man reaches up to tap him on the arm in comfort, keeping up the cold faced pretense he’d adopted in front of the prisoners, and fighting the reaction that was bubbling under the surface as he glimpes in his peripheral vision a smirk pull at the edges of Kyungil’s lips where he lay ‘sleeping’, knowing he’d have to punish him for it once Daesung had left.
‘I’ll see you in a few hours, Daesungie.’ He responds, settling back in the chair until the younger man had left, and continuing to remain that way for the following five minutes to make sure he wouldn’t return- and also to tease the man chained up before him who, once Daesung had left, had sat up from where he was lying on a mat on the floor, and had proceeded to stare at Seunghyun as he waited for him to speak.
It had become routine.
Ever since Kyungil had given the other man that first bit of information; ever since the connection was made between the two on the first day, Seunghyun had grown a…fondness…for the captive, the other man seeming to simply understand his way of working without him ever having to explain, a thought that had intrigued Seunghyun more than it probably should have.
The first night duty after Kyungil had been strung up- after divulging the information on Seunghyun being the target- the prisoner had admitted that Seunghyun binding him to the bannister had excited him, the concept of the artistic display accompanied with the torturous actions of the sniper, charging his body with a similar adrenaline to that that charged through the man when he was hunting down a target, the admission causing Seunghyun’s blood to rush in his veins, although he’d proceeded to leave the other man in silence.
The second night Seunghyun had bound him to the bars of the cage he had been secluded to along the wall next to his fellow gang members, proceeding to heat and cool the metal bars in quick succession as Kyungil had grunted and groaned in pain and discomfort, whilst still managing to flash the other man his signature smirk until the end. Upon realizing he’d ended his fun, Kyungil had immediately admitted how excited the trick had made him, and against his best interests, Seunghyun had found himself smirking back at the exhausted prisoner, re-positioning him back in his cell and equipping him with a mat to lie on. When Seungri had asked why he had it half an hour later, upon taking over from Seunghyun, the older man had simply told him that he’d provided him with information, and he figured he’d provide more if he was rewarded for doing so…although he didn’t tell him he’d also left a small persimmon with the man too.
The third night, Seunghyun had walked into the barn to find Kyungil already stood in his cell, facing the doorway and barely restraining a smirk as he saw the other man enter, managing to retain a plain expression in front of Daesung, who’d mentioned that the man had only stood 10 minutes before and had remained in that position since, before allowing the smirk to take over his whole expression once the two were alone (minus the other captives, who remained silent on the other side of the barn). That night, Seunghyun had pleased himself with embellishing Kyungil’s skin on his neck with an intricate brand of a dragon, tying the man before him to a table with rough, razor embedded ropes to keep him still- although he imagined he probably wouldn’t have moved anyway, not with the way he appeared to enjoy the experience.
After that it had come to be common place that Kyungil would wait for him to enter the barn for his shift, the man never seeming to tire of Seunghyun’s tricks, and always whispering a quiet thank you whenever he’d leave the barn. It was obvious in the doting, puppy-like gaze that the prisoner had adopted toward the other man that he was enamored with him…but as of yet, Seunghyun was unaware of just what the other man stood for in his mind...
‘Are we not playing tonight?’
His words pull Seunghyun’s mind from the abyss of contemplation and decision-making it had spiraled into, the question making him glance up at the other man from beneath his brows to see him stood close to the bars before him, his gaze inquisitive and innocent until it made contact with Seunghyun’s, when it suddenly turns suggestive and hopeful, the oddness considering Seunghyun’s idea of ‘playing’ always amusing the other man greatly.
‘I don’t think im in the mood tonight.’ Seunghyun murmurs, sighing as he raises his head to sit back properly in the chair, catching the way Kyungil tilts his head slightly in concern as he observes his movements.
‘Something wrong?’
Despite picking up on the curiosity in his tone, masking the man’s want for details, Seunghyun still finds himself wanting to tell Kyungil about his day, the danger in the possibility sending the man to his feet and causing him to begin to slowly pace, first to the bare wall on one side of the barn, and then to the other that housed the other prisoners, paying them no notice, but feeling Kyungil’s eyes on him like an anchor bearing into a seabed.
‘Why do they want me?’ he asks as he passes Kyungil for a third time, the question being worn thin at this point, but he still glances in his direction to insinuate the question was for him, before continuing to pace in wait of his answer.
‘…As I said before…my boss only told me that I had to take you back, he didn’t say-‘
‘And there weren’t any hints, anything that you knew before that might tell you-‘
‘…Seunghyun, all I know is-‘
‘I KNOW THEY WANT ME.’ He roars suddenly, something within him suddenly snapping, his rage appearing from the barely supressed confusion and fear that had been growing on him ever since he found out, and Seunghyun finds himself turning on the other man, reaching through the bars of his cage and grabbing his neck before he can even blink, Kyungil’s expression, rather than the usual smirk, being caught between surprise and suffocated fear, his hands that had come up to instinctively pull Seunghyun’s hand off of him, simply sitting on his wrist as he allows him to contract his grip on his windpipe.
‘What are you going to do?’ he rasps quietly, staring Seunghyun in the eye as he waits for him to make the next move, but simply having the other man glare back at him, too focused on not killing Kyungil as his mind is over taken by confusion, to take notice of anything he was saying.
‘I’m sorry I cant tell you anything else. The only way you’ll know more, is if you come back with me…and you find out for yourself.’ Kyungil whispers, keeping his eyes fixed on the angel’s face of the other man, and dragging in a sudden breath when his grip is suddenly retracted from his neck, the instantaneous-ness of the move leaving him reeling as he watches Seunghyun stride toward the door.
‘Seunghyun? …Seunghyun!’
Kyungil’s calls of his name follow the other man out of the barn, Seungri passing him just outside of the doorway, suddenly spinning in surprise as he watches his hyung brush past him roughly, barely computing in his mind as he beelines for the training room off to the side of the house, blocking any outside view of the barn behind.
He had to know…he needed to know… If he didn’t find out, it was going to rip him apart from the inside out....
…he couldn’t live not knowing much longer…
Its as he crashed through the door to the practice room and smashes his palm against the light switch to illuminate the training space, pausing to allow the struggling filaments to force light into the bulbs hanging high above, that he hears the quiet pants, and the tiny snuffles of fear, the sound pricking at his ears and allowing him to zero in on the right hand corner of the room.
He immediately reaches for the knife caught in its sheath on his waistbelt, but its not until the room floods with light and the apparatus he’d been able to make out before is separated from the darkness that he realizes just what was making the sound, and for once in his life Seunghyun is caught in absolute surprise, as he slowly lowers his weapon to his side.
Because there…crouched before him…staring like some wild animal as it trembled in fear…
…was a child.
(T.B.C)
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