#im ALSO tearing up thinking abt how my dad used to read this to my sister when she was little little

[jynersq]

girls when it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better... the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat

[intertexts]

ROSXSSSSSSSSS can u talk abt muse. pls. muse is the part of nhw that drivrs me the most crazy insane. makes me feel GENUINELY ILL i was reading one of ur most recent muse posts earlier and was like. Oh. ohhhhhhhhh oucwch. ouchiees. had 2 put my phone down and just stare at my desk at work for a minute or so. oh my god. tell me abt nhw ashe a lil bit!!!! his brief lucid moments as muse. does he ever snap out of it while using his powers???? how horrifuying is that. what is he like when hes finally not under the trickster's control and is completely free??? whats it like when hes back with the wards???? im going 2 throw something ougbghh nhw ashe i love u

GODDDDDDD. HIIII WHISKEY HI <333 insane person questions 2 ask because thats literally exactly what i've been thinking about for hours. holy shit. ok. yeah. u get insane 1130pm thought trains!!!! <3333

>it is VERY RARE for him to snap out of it while he's actively in his breaker state [non-lucid state regardless of whether he's being controlled, he's just. going on autopilot & instinct + thats also the terrifying reality melting one that the trickster Likes and chose him for. so.] just bcos he's fucked up regardless-- it happens a couple times!! during a couple fights that mark & tide + the wards are there for!! mackerel also had some thoughts on this i need 2 fucking pick his brain more tomorrow....

>when the trickster is finally Gone (via mal). um. things are. i will be real with you!!!!!!! they are Not Great!!!! they are-- better!!! still fucking Bad!! first of all wibby & virion & dakota are. horrifically traumatized by seeing muse disembowel and tear apart william while still keeping him alive and with all his senses & pain receptors intact. like, he survives, mal puts him back together, but it is-- not. something that any of them easily come back from, especially wibby. they all have involuntary trauma responses towards just. seeing ashe, really-- it's been long enough that their first thought when they see him isn't "oh our awesome best friend ashe :]" it's "oh god oh fuck how did the trickster get here." which everyone hates!!!

ashe specifically... god. he is in a fucking horrific headspace immediately post-muse. the physical and mental strain of being forcibly kept in his breaker state (something that, like, historically, had triggered maybe.. twice. three times. in ten years or so.) as long and as often as he was took a fucking toll. being kept under almost 24/7 mind control for almost a year straight kind of put his head in the blender. for the first... god, whoever knows how long after that, he gets, like, almost daily pulsing headaches & migraines with the aura and confusion and nausea & shit. has a whole host of fucking brain issues-- debilitating anxiety & paranoia over being followed & watched, delusions related to. well. being fucking lobotomized by an insane sadistic superpowered murderer who controlled you and kept you as his favorite toy and had you commit horrific acts for over a year. frequently is terrified or convinced he's still being controlled. shit like that. severe derealization & disconnection frm his own body & such.

also ^ yeag. <3 he is. god. simultaneously insanely touch-repulsed & touch-starved because. the only person really touching him for a year was the trickster!!! yeah!!! his wires r so fucking crossed & he freaks the fuck out whenever anybody makes to touch him and he also misses it so badly, just wants a fucking hug from his dad but for a while he can't even do that without flashbacks and nausea and terror. the same except ten times worse for anyone touching his hair. freaks out when anybody tries to do Anything fucking... caretaking or comforting, really. which sucks because he also is in a ton of physical pain & damage from the insane amount of physical stress-- nothing permanent in a debilitating way, but. y'know. even after he's healed he aches and his joints hurt and he can't stand for too long without it being Bad and it takes a very long time for him to get his coordination and fine motor skills back-- anyway, it's a nasty feedback loop because he very much Cannot do some things on his own but anyone helping him almost always brings back trickster shit. can't help him into the shower can't drape a blanket over him or move him somewhere more comfy if he falls asleep on the couch can't hug him etc!!! & all this while the rest of the gang is also. incredibly fucked up & they're all accidentally hitting each other where they're already hurt and unintentionally triggering each other and like-- it's better!! god!! it's so much better! but it's still. u know. he has to have the worst most miserable excruciating long recovery arc. OH. YEAH. he also straight up fucking refuses to use his powers. is just. incredibly horrified and guilty and full of self-loathing and revulsion at everything that was done using him as a tool. is unspeakably terrified of it happening again, of him accidentally hurting anyone. etc. anyway. it gets better!!!!!!!!!! it gets worse before it gets better though. yeag. yeah.

[emzzy]

i know i’ve only ever lurked on the ML fandom tag but

HHHNNNGHH psychological horror/thriller fic post S5 Finale where gabes perfect world glitches/does something and Adrien discovers the Truth(slowly). With mari and the others who know trying to keep him in the dark for their own reasons and he gets the rabbit miraculous somehow and he starts destroying the new reality W/Plagg and they go on a pseudo Villain arc tearing up the Perfect world to get to the real one underneath. Because in this the Perfect World is less like a total re-wright and more like a coat of plaster, the old reality is still THERE holding everything up, just, hidden.

He just starts world hopping with the rabbit miraculous, dipping into the Void between them and using it to undo what gabe did. the others try to stop them because they don’t understand and think he’s just gone total batshit but Adrien doesn’t really wan’t to talk abt shit RN. he meets Chat Blanc at some point. He commits crimes. He becomes a feral catboy thing because of plaggs powers bleeding into him or something IDK, i just think it would be cool. 

After using his powers to undo his dads Perfect World he finds him in the void and just. Fucking Eviscerates him. He threatens to cataclysm him but its a fake-out and he’s like “you can’t run from your consequences anymore father” and he drags his ass back to his world.(NOTE: it is important to state that at this point all the world hopping and void shenanigans with Plagg and the rabbit Kwami [who is 100% OK with this because gabe’s wish fucked with the time stream] have made Adrien into a vaguely Eldritch being so this would be fucking terrifying for gabe).

 At this point he’s somehow revealed to Paris that gabe was hawkmoth without outing himself, and when he drags him back he’s all “ha ha, sorry i disappeared and was acting so strange, the reason was because we figured out that hawkmoth faked his death and i had to go track him down” and then he lets paris handle it. Then he drops off the face of the earth again and passes out for like 2 weeks straight BC after all that he’s TIRED, aand then he rolls up to the miraculous squad like “heeeyyy”

So now mari and the squad are like “WTF” because Adrien is still Like That even though he gave back the rabbit miraculous and Plagg just pops in like “yeah he’s just that way forever now, also he’s PISSED for some reason” (he knows the reason, he just wants them to talk things out). 

and thats all i got really i haven't thought that far. I probably won’t wright this (yet) because im still new to fics and i don’t know how to wright psychological horror/thriller, but if anyone else wants to take my idea and make something with it thats great!, all i ask is that you hit me up with the link so i can read it.

[baekhvuns]

OMG HELLO BAEKSSS!!!

It has been such a long time 😭

I have SAUR much to tell you!

Ok first of all let's start with how I got a part time job as a second year student and 😭 THERE'S THIS GUY THERE AND MY FREAKING MIND CANNOT COMPREHEND HIS BEAUTY! Like istg he looks like a mix of yunho and soobin?? His lips are an exact copy of soobin's! (Don't ask why il abt his lips-) And obviously he's so tall. (The part-time job is at a restaurant btw) and when I tell you he's probably the reason so many people even come to that restaurant like I'm not saying all of them but I'm sure half the portion of them high school girls 😭 but I kinda feel lonely there since I'm bad at socialising but dw I'm working on that.

My phone just acted up- anyways, it acted up again 😭 so I was saying i read those asks regarding the whole ff thing. And y'all aren't wrong, Bcz these days the plot is porn 😃. I mean have you seen those fic with tons of warning at hand that's just a collection of kinks 😭 and the whole bsf's dad trope??? Like atp y'all require grass! Or maybe a whole dang rainforest!

But other than that I reread your fics just to feel something 🥹 and yes I'm positive I felt something Bcz now I'm lovesick. Someone send me my Mr Park, my bg, MY DUKEEE 😭 oh I also dedicated one song to each of the hwa fics, (even tho I've read the other members fics, ...hwa just hits diff.) Okokok! Pls don't judge my music taste tho 😩 [the way I said one nd gv out a whole playlist smh]

Rewrite the stars- if I didn't put rewrite the stars, the greatest showman I'd be considered a criminal! You belong with me too!!

The trouble with hating you- ok ok so Polaroid love for the whole happy moments but then she's in the rain by The Rose for when hwa breaks yn's heart and aurora (Ateez)

Mr and Mrs park- MAMA IM IN LOVE WITH A CRIMINAL 😩 Britney spearsss and i discovered a new song that's called "old love" by Yuji and boi, i get flashbacks to that confession scene! Bambi (baekhyun), mhm (kai) and peaches were made for this, OK HEAR ME OUT FILTER BY JIMIN-

Duke and the general- I GOT SO MANY!!

- day and night (Jung seung hwan)

-But it's destiny (10cm)

-breaking down (Ailee)

-lover (TS)

-My everything (Ariana Grande)

I could go on-

Khronos- Tears, trauma o wait one last time by Ariana, young and beautiful Lana del rey, stay with me (chanyeol and punch) all about you (Ateez) euphoria too

Just friends- ohhh lemme whip my nsfw song playli-

-circus (Britney mother spears)

-Angel eyes (ABBA)

-into you (Ariana)

- they don't know about us (1D)

- luxurious (Gwen Stefani)

- pillow talk (Zayn) AHEM-

- love talk (wayv) AHEEMMM

-cream soda (exo) aiahwjahsjsj

-Candy (baekhyun) AGH-

Ok but in the end we never knew if yn and hwa got married but like imagine if they had decided to and they hv their kids! Like the leading models get married and just think THE VISUAL hwayoung would hv (I mean I obv don't mean I'm the yn 😭) and then yn takes her for a red carpet or something when she's like 9 or 10 and then we see hwayoung directly after like 10 yrs and everyone is shocked Bcz she has the genes of her mother with the personality of her father THAT'D BE SO DOPE!

Let's not fall in love again- OK GET READY FOR THIS!

-Everytime (chen, punch)

-love sight (TXT)

-I think I'm in love again (kat dahlia) I love the irony, Bcz I also know this is what went thru hwa's brain

- I will go to you like the first snow (Ailee)

- love me like that (Sam Kim)

Bodyguard- but idk why I'd like to put some 00's nd 10s songs here bcz....it's just the vibe!

-OMG I WANT IT THT WAY 😭😭 idkw but it fits acc to me

- you drive me crazy (Britney again...I luv her sm :') )

- all of me (John legend)

- dandelions (ruth b)

- serendipity (jimin)

-a lot like love (baek a yoon)

Somehow bg's ones are kinda soft? Idk 😭but yeah this was fun to do! I love doing these things for ffs, like you'd do with movies or novels! And i hope you enjoy these too 😩🤧 anyways it's like 1:00 AM, and my phone screen feels a little too bright for my eyes 😭 gnn and bye hope you're taking care of yourselves! 💕💕💕

HELLO t’s been a while!!

omg???? a part time AND at a restaurant as a second year student?? swap places right now idc idc idc & OH??? that’s a very interesting thing u shared, when r we making the moves 🔫 chaerss u have a very y/n job, you gotta bring out your y/n-ness in these situations like ITS NEARING THE HOLIDAYS U NEVER KNOW

ur correct, i was scrolling thru some atz fics yesterday to see abt to read and all the disclaimers were: angry, handcuffs, pissed off reader x pissed off member or name calling or every kink in existence what happened to HI?? HELLO??? A RAINFOREST LMFAOOO,,, crying u guys r so nice it makes me so happy to see that u guys really enjoy the fics to the whole 😭😭 i will be back pls im defrosting!!

LMFAOOOO OKAY IM READY BC I ALSO HAD MY LISTS FROM WHEN I WROTE THESE FICS!! omg the rewrite the stars one is absolutely correct, it’s what i listened to every time i wrote that fic!

omg wait ur kinda right that fits the trouble w hating u,, i used classic by mkto for the funsies! WAIT FUCK THAT CRIMINAL FITS MR AND MRS PARK SO WELL FHWKDHWKHDKW I ALSO USED HIM & I BY HALSEY AND GEASY & IM YOURS BY ISABEL LAROSA!! duke and his general never had a song lost but i agree with everything up there 🤚🏻

omg khronus??? i used moon lovers ost the most, my love my lee hi and davichi’s songs, insterstellar BUT YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL??? KILL ME RIVHT NOW FJWKFHEK this was my playlist for khronus

WAIT THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT US WAS A BODYGUARD HWA SONG + you & i FBWKDHK,,, just friends had the most fashion and nsfw songs, the weeknd, just friends by virginia to vegas, say it right nelly furtado, rich girl by gwen stefani, i like me better lauv, OH PILLOW TALK??? 👀 omg no bc i have a whole universe for them and ur right on track no bc imagine the two top models of the industry getting married like??? crazy i know the kids would be crazy tall too and the GENES??? wow i will draft a fic just u wait

STOP THAT LETS NOT FALL IN LOVE IS SO ACCURATE STOP IT FBKWBDKS IM IN LOVE AGAIN WAS MY SHIT!

omg no i love these i love hearing the thoughts on the different stories & what ppl think their future would be like esp for just friends, the entire industry at their wedding??? iM THERE hope u had a good sleep!! thank u for sending this in 💓

[teethandclawsxx]

vent. big one . probably warning for medical stuff but ultimately i dont have the brain for tagging so read at your own risk LOL

in a violent and killing mood btw. my sheets dont stay on my bed for long and usually it wakes me up . but this time it didnt and my phone got slid up under my shoulder and mustve turned the alarm off like as soon as it started bc it didnt wake me up either. and tomorrow i was supposed to have a test done but i have to drink like 2l of barium for it (it just says two bottles but skerples did a similar test and it was 2l) and it has to be done within two hours but every time ive even had to drink like. 2l in 8 hours for tests i end up projectile vomiting bc my stomach gets so overfilled it just comes back out the top end bc the stuff takes hours to pass into my intestines. thats literally what the doc told me its caused by. so idk how they expect me to be able to drink 2l in 2hour. and ive got other labs to do on thursday and idk if the barium will effect that but ive already rescheduled it once day of and now im gonna have to do so again bc theres No Way im gonna be able to do it bc im not going to be able to sleep again before then and i cant eat after midnight but i also am not going to be able to eat BEFORE midnight bc its already 9 and my stomach is upset from being stressed about sleeping too long n bc when i got mad abt it dad started yelling at me and then he was like well yall tear me a new asshole when i get mad and i was just like well no. we tell you to stop yelling At Us when youre mad but we dont even yell at you. youre just yelling at me and telling me not to be angry. pointless and not the same. plus i normally cant eat for a few hours after waking up ANYWAY so mby the time i would be doing the test itll be like. ~20 hours since id eaten and that just isnt going to work. so i gotta reschedule it again but like in the next couple months im gonna lose my insurance bc im unemployed. but im unemployed bc im too sick to work so i NEED to have insurance but who cares if i live or die ig 🥴 and they said the main test they want to do will probably be 6mo after the barium test (its to check for crohns) so its not like im gonna be able to do it anyyyywayyy i just hope the labs on thursday come back quick enough. she said it could take up to a month so im scheduled to see her again like. 7/14 i think sonim just hoping that i still have insurance then and she can diagnose me with SOMETHING even though i doubt it and also that i still have insurance and can get my next 3mo of t but tbh even if i do have insurance i probably cant afford it... i already knew i probably wouldnt be able to stay on it longer than 9mo but id hate to have to stop after just 6 literally only bc it still costs like $65 WITH insurance (idk why bc like. my first set was only $5. the only difference is the newer set has preservatives but idk why it has to)..... basically. fuck

[klugpuuo]

im insane abt this song so im gonna make a very small dissection notice on why i think it fits sam (and also max but mostly from sams pov)

It will not be a tender fire Upon your postcard mountains No golden children Will write hymns about The slow defeat of your reckless destiny

do i even have to say it. 305

Bullets in the bellies of babies Sleeping in the strangest places Indifferent to the blinding grace of The vapor trails and burning waste Of your baptist skies

this ones kind of a stretch mostly bc it's based on my own hcs but i like to attribute this entire song to my fucked up and odd au where sam actually becomes a dad. although i highly doubt that'd be a catalyst to him realizing how fucked everything is, i think it'd make him realize that fucked-ness is going to keep hurting people of future generations forever in a more Real way for him.

he's more or less canonically an environmentalist, he knows abt this shit already, but having to really face the fact that the world is burning and america is tearing itself and other countries apart in its bid for power in relation to his own flesh-and-blood (including his ancestors) would be interesting to me i think

Oh! To live in a burning house With burning children eating dust And finger-painting flags Smoke pours out of their eyes They're all hanged up They're praying and saluting

the themes of the nuclear american family (and its inherent tendencies leading to self-destruction) are very clear here, with the mentions of these dying children having finger-painted (presumably american) flags, praying (presumably to the christian god) and saluting.

how this relates to sam outside of my aforementioned insane au is actually a connection to the rest of his family - sam's family is like 90% military or military-adjacent, with a grandfather of his having fought in wwii and his granny ruth (whose existence spans across both comics and cartoon btw) being a prison warden and having fought in korea

i think it's safe to say that growing up surrounded by all these people, raised to idolize the military and prison and police systems (even if he obviously knows they're all utter bullshit by the time he's an adult) would have Some Effect on his development as a youngling (which he would Not be hiding from due to the fact that he is [to me] a trans man. read: granny ruth)

also again jokes funny but the way he (and max but especially sam) responds to military types orders with an automatic-sounding 'SIR YES SIR' does something to me in a bad way

Hey! Okay! Kiss me slowly Beneath the dripping leaves Of our train track trees Though sickly and diseased Some weeds thrive anyways

this isnt entirely related to sammingmacks but i like how the mentions of train tracks end up coming back in the next song on the album, goodbye desolate railyard. please listen to goodbye desolate railyard . p[

anyway. freelance husbands crumb for us i think. jokes

i want to say more abt this line but its almost 1 am. please read the last two lines of the this verse until you understand how fucking good it is and then read the whole verse and understand it's all so good and the way the writer of this song fucking. wrote it. is perfect. and gets the feelings behind it across so well and makes it sound so good its like poetry which is smth i thought only rap could do. okay thank you

It will not be a tender fire Upon your postcard mountains No golden children Will write hymns about The slow defeat of your reckless destiny

i always thought this 'it will.. not be..' was a 'well, not me' in response to the last line and i think that fits better. especially in relation to sam specifically.

despite how hard he tries, sam Doesnt make it. not in any way he really Wants. though obviously a joke and he doesnt seem to actively mind (probably because i bet btas-era sam would feel a weird smugness at having max care for him bc hes an as hole heart emoji) he gets dementia as he ages and becomes unable to care for himself. or he fucking dies due to BLOWING THE FUCK UP. neither of these are the way he would want to go, nor are they at all anywhere near the way america pushes its soldiers to die in the glory of battle for their CAUNTRY!!!!

he dies being what could be considered a burden or threat either way. not like he actually is but . yeah

This fence around your garden Won't keep the ice from falling This fence around your garden Won't keep the ice from falling

climate. change.

ok that's all for now thank you a silver mt. zion for hating the idf. tune in next time for more me being insane abt sam when there are other characters who deserve just as much love and care (i promise ill stop being sexist one day). b ye

It will not be a tender fire Upon your postcard mountains No golden children Will write hymns about The slow defeat of your reckless destiny

a love letter to b&w artists and the series as a whole, and a hate letter to all police and military orginizations

close-ups under the cut, and sketches available for free on my ko-fi [link]

[dokyeum-arc]

not to make my second depressing family post today but god do i wanna [redacted]

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from The Lost Tomb, part 3

I didn’t mean for this to stray into angst but like the lack of updates with Li Cu in LTR?? I had to do it to em.

Wushanju Crew Chat, 11:05pm

Li Cu: what’s up losers I’m outside

Li Cu: someone come on and open the damn door

Wang Meng: Language:(

Li Cu: fine, someone come on and open the damn door please

Snake Eyes Chat, 7:00am

Wu Xie: hey are you awake? Sorry I missed you coming in:) was finishing up some work. How was the end of your first semester? Did that geology paper go well? Did the food budget work out or do you need some extra money next semester?

Li Cu: yeah about your work

Li Cu: heard a little rumor

Li Cu: about you going through some stuff during ur recent trip

Li Cu: some stuff you maybe forgot to mention

Li Cu: and you told me we gotta check in with stuff, so this is me checking in, okay

Wu Xie: oh? What stuff?

Li Cu: idk just like

Li Cu: THE STUFF WITH YOU ALMOST FUCKING DYING FOR FUCKING MONTHS AND THE WAREHOUSE SHIT AND ERJING AND PEOPLE HURT YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A THUNDER CITY AND NOONE FUCKING CALLED ME ABT THOSE PARTS ONCE

Wu Xie: oh. That stuff.

Li Cu: yeah asshat I’m in the kitchen whenever you’re ready to explain your fucking bullshit. Also you’re out of milk wtf how am I supposed to make breakfast here

Main Chat, 11:14am

Wu Xie: okay so it’s possible I fucked up a little bit.

Wang Pangzi: THERES JUST SO MUCH YOU COULD BE REFERRING TO I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START

Zhang Qiling: What’s wrong?

Honorary Wu Chat, 11:30am

Wang Pangzi: KID IM SO SORRY THAT PUNK IS A TRAINWRECK BUT YOU KNEW THAT

Wang Meng: Welcome home, Li Cu <3 not much has changed, ultimately.

Wang Pangzi: IT DIDNT EVEN OCCUR TO ME THAT HE WOULDNT TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT IT ONCE THE REST OF US FIGURED IT OUT

WAIT HOW DID YOU FIND OUT

Li Cu: it’s okay. not your fault, uncle. Doesn’t matter how I found out. Wait wait hold on what do you mean “the rest of us figured it out” who figured it out

Wang Pangzi: SAY HELLO LIU SANG

Liu Sang: …hello.

Wang Pangzi: SAY MORE THAN THAT.

Liu Sang: uh…so you’re Wu Xie’s protégé, huh?

Li Cu: oh well howdy there homewrecker

Liu Sang: Excuse me??

Zhang Qiling: I think someone on the roof is calling me and I should go find out.

Wang Meng: I would also very much like to be removed from this conversation.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHAHA KIDDO IVE MISSED YOU

Li Cu: all I’m saying is aren’t you the little creep who’s obsessed with Xiao Ge

Liu Sang: ???

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu is referring to a brief period of irrational thought on Wu Xie’s part, where he mistakenly believed you to be a threat to our relationship.

Liu Sang: what do you mean a threat??

Wang Pangzi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN TIANZHEN HAD “A BRIEF PERIOD OF IRRATIONAL THOUGHT”

YOUVE MET YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT

Wang Meng: can you please take me off this chat.

Liu Sang: Wait, so Wu Xie told you about me, but…reading between the lines, he didn’t mention the cancer or anything bad that happened? Oh yikes.

Li Cu: don’t change the subject “Liu Sang”

if that is your real name

Like yeah you’re right abt it but still

just saying

heard you got good ears but I’ve got snake powers

kinda

so like no more funny business okay you superhearing harlot

Wang Meng: LANGUAGE, LI CU. IN THIS HOUSE WE SHOW GOOD MANNERS.

Wang Pangzi: LMAO OH DO WE NOW

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu, this is all unnecessary and childish. Please apologize.

Li Cu: you say that now bruh but apparently you weren’t complaining when he was all “idol this” and “idol that”

oh and hey Wang Meng while we’re here can I show you my business class grade report later bc Wu Xie is all “what matters is that you learned and enjoyed the experience” blah blah all eat pray love you know how he gets and I want to actually discuss areas to improve so that when I take over this joint I do better than Wu Xie? Tho that shouldnt be hard lol

Wang Meng: hurtful but accurate. I’ll bring my best red pen:)

Liu Sang: oh my god. I’m too jetlagged to keep up with any of this.

Wang Pangzi: BEST. DAY. EVER. IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR HEI XIAZI.

Not A Homewrecker Chat, 11:52am

Liu Sang: Okay, we started off on the wrong foot.

Li Cu: I agree let’s start over

Start with how your little prank game almost got ppl killed

Liu Sang: And I seriously regret that. But we moved past that.

Wow, he seriously skipped over so much bullshit but didn’t skimp on mine, huh.

Li Cu: AHA so you ADMIT IT

Liu Sang: I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. That I’ve come to see Xiao Ge as a person and mentor, rather than an idol. I count Pangzi and Wu Xie as my close friends. I’m going to be staying here with them right now, I hope you can be okay with that.

Li Cu: see in my head you were going to be a lot less mature about it and I had a bunch of great follow-up insults planned

Liu Sang: I figured. I’d like us to be friends, though. Or at least not enemies.

Li Cu: okay but only bc you don’t know me yet so you won’t judge too much for this and I need to get this out to somebody I’ve been thinking about it for hours and my friends are still in finals and I’m stressing a little bit maybe

Liu Sang: ?

Li Cu: I yelled at dad

*Wu Xie sorry autocorrect

Liu Sang: …uh huh.

Li Cu: I yelled at him earlier. for keeping all that stuff from me. He started crying

Liu Sang: Wu Xie has been pretty emotional since we got back. Not necessarily your fault.

Li Cu: I made him cry right there at the kitchen sink and it felt like maybe the worst thing I’ve ever done

Snake venom and stabbings, no tears

Me saying I wouldn’t have gone to his funeral, all tears

Which I know was shitty to say but I was really mad

Liu Sang: If it’s any consolation, I think Wu Xie can understand the concept of being led by his emotions to make bad decisions…better than most people.

Li Cu: Xiao Ge came in then and looked weird

Like weirder than usual

Like he didn’t know which of us to be more mad at

Liu Sang: A common problem for the iron triangle, I understand.

Li Cu: I just ran out I didn’t have words right then and I feel stupid

but whenever they come back from their walk I’m gonna say sorry and stuff bc i could’ve come home to his funeral and I’m mad about it but also like. I could have come home to his funeral. I can get mean when I’m in a freakout mood. It’s not like I was scared or anything at all I don’t get scared really anymore ever but just like. Freaked out.

Liu Sang: He’s probably going to say sorry, too.

Li Cu: sorry I called you a homewrecker. Didn’t mean to slut-shame either

Liu Sang: I admit that after the initial shock, it was pretty funny. Super hearing harlot, it should be on my business card;)

Li Cu: this situation with Wu Xie is weird but kinda good ya know. And I have these freakouts sometimes that something maybe bad could happen to this situation. So consider this a shovel talk. But like, also not a shovel talk at the same time.

also I appreciate you saving his life and whatnot

Liu Sang: Noted. Now. Coffee?

Li Cu: sounds sick.

Be in the kitchen in 10. You can pick out what we watch for the household tv show tonight. no way is Wu Xie choosing some dry documentary about gravestone rubbings again. Pangzi just watches real housewives reruns and Xiao Ge won’t watch tv after he caught the last half hour of A Walk To Remember. Also i need my phone now to send some $ to Hei Xiazi since I owe him for…providing some intel

Liu Sang: Not even surprised.

[mynameisaboutlight]

hey there,

i think i'd like to kiss your neck but uhm... u would never like it. i mean pfft im like a 5 year old cute kid... im not sexy, i don't have that body u like, nor the confidence. im just me with no purpose in life. n u wouldn't be interested in me. cuz uhm, ur obviously so into the hot happier ones. so i guess i gotta kill myself so fast, huh? cuz i cannot live with the fact that i cannot be loved. cowardly, yeah but honestly i don't give a fuck abt that one problem if im ever gonna suicide (feelings would cease) ... i ain't gonna linger or stuff. like fuck, this kid hate themselves. it's true but what's so fake abt it? i don't feel real. i don't sense things. i don't really like being intimidated. i don't like bullies. oh heck yeah i have tons of insecurities. i feel like im the loneliest n i cant help but be lonely. cuz um.. me... being so quiet... so.. im scared... n plus... social anxiety... traumatised... past?... my dad when he beat me up... my mother when she watched all that but didn't step up and save her daughter... my classmates when they... um... called me fckn ugly and cyber bullied me... do i think that's real? like, any of this?.. do i... um... have the right... to like... uh... vent ? ... or say that i been in great pain... and that i think nobody would fucking listen to me or believe me?.. does it really matter? i don't think so... but i heard that it's our responsibility, we, "the broken ones" to fix our brokenness and to reverse the irreversible damage that costed us so many friends, so many opportunities. how is that fckn fair? and we're not allowed to be loved unless we got a healthy amount of love to ourselves. n yeah ppl sit n say "oh sorry" but they don't really care. n why should they? n I've already stopped depending on ppl and expecting them to wait for me or to be my friends. cuz im too damaged, i wouldn't have said a thing. oh well i see friends, cool girls, tough boys, daily calling their mommies, feeling happy, saying "i love you" and "i miss you" and i guess it's why i can't live. cuz i don't have a healthy relationship with ma moma. ppl... ppl be calling me cute n wanting to hit me n throw me around at the same time. like is that really how u show love? by being so violent? n my boy buds be bullying me as a joke cuz they don't know im sensitive. they really dunno that i have terrible anxiety and that i could burst into tears without a warning. but do they like me? just for my face i guess. or for they like being around me? but asking them would be hella embarrassing. n my buds don't know that they trigger me whenever they say they wanna hit me jokingly or out of admiration. like fine bro I'd be laughing with ya on that if i really hadn't issues. I'm so stupid sometimes also, abt trivial silly things. like a retarded man. and i ain't no retarded, i just cry every night, my brain be shrinking from strain. u could say i have 4 brain cells, if that makes sense. n i love my buddies but i don't think any one of them actually notice me. like im there but im not. i was never there. i love em. n i like how they be but i don't think anyone has ever seen me. they just pass by me. they smile at me but they don't wanna hang around me. isn't that sad? hehe. ppl really be reading other sad ppl's diaries on the net, don't they?

[collisiondiscourse]

i have decided i am now going to blow up your inbox bc i csn i’m sorry codi focnnf

b u t!! anyway i’m going to rambling abt my new dad for all au [whixh was the au i sent you that ask abt]

alrighty so all might is now midoriya’s dad. that’s a thing. i like to think that inko and toshinori were high school sweethearts who broke up after graduation but met again when all might was called to recuse some hostages and inko was one of them!! anywho all might recuses her, they go on a coffee date, realize they’re still in love and start again

they get married and have izuku, who keeps inko’s maiden name [midoriya is now inko’s maiden name bc i do what i want]. he’s the cutest baby who has inko’s green hair, but has one blue and one green eye! [these are /important/] inko and all might talk abt maybe giving izuku all for one when he’s older, but they decide against it bc they don’t know if he’ll have a quirk or not

spoiler!! bitch baby has a quirk!! he gets a quirk that’s so much different than inko’s quirk and !!! ahhh!!! the basic explanation is that all might’s all of one genes mixed and then “corrupt” inko’s like 3 generation quirk-having genes or smth and izu has a very, very complex quirk now. it’s called astron, and astron allows him to fucking astral project into the center of the university and shit chxnc

astron works two different ways: using his blue eye he can project other people into his own personal astral plane and do whatever he wants. while the person’s physical body is still where it was, their mind is in the astral plane. if he uses his green eye, he can project himself to his astral plane and fuck around without consequences!!

[there’s an untold third ability of astron using both of his eyes, but izuku tried doing that when he first got his quirk and immediately fell into a coma for like a month? it was bad and his mind couldn’t handle the stress and dipped lol]

ANYWAY, izuku grows up with a bomb ass quirk and still has his kacchan with him thru his childhood so things are a lot different than canon? the wonder duo are little shitheads together and i love them, they wreck havoc and i love them

i have more ideas for this story but this is all i have for now, codi this is so long i’m sorry i’m blowing up ur inbox 🥺😭

me opening my askbox and seeing the length of this au: holy shit

me reading the actual whole au: HOLY SHIT

AJ I LOVE THIS HIGHKEY!!! I LOVE THE IDEA OF OP DEKU W A FUCKED UP QUIRK JUST TERRIFYING EVERYONE HE COMES ACROSS!!!! heterochromia is SO so good as a character design element and i LOVE THE WAY THIS IS IMPLEMENTED YELLS. I WANNA DRAW THIS SO BAD!!! THIS LOOKS SO COOL

(serious writing/plot below - blood and vomit mention)

oh god and now im imagining deku like. being this extremely feral and annoying lil shit whos extremely powerful and now bakugous got someone on his level so hes a lot more humble as hes growing up but also him and deku are the?? BESTEST OF FRIENDS. and i imagine when bakugou is being a little shit deku just. astral projects him out of his body for a while and apologizes to whoever kacchan yelled at LMFAO---bakugou comes back to his body and is all like “....fucks sake stop doing that”

AND THEN omfgkjfds imagine morally grey deku who does whatever he can to win?? he knew he wouldnt get into UAs hero course fair and square (all might offered him a recommendation but he declined because he wanted to get there on his own with kacchan) because robots didnt have souls he could astral project so he practices his quirks limits like YEARS prior and he tells bakugou about it but never rlly shows him but on the day of the entrance exam?

he shows up. everything goes as normal and he finishes the written exams and then moves on to the practical exam (still seperated from kacchan like in canon) and like. Every one goes dashing forward and deku doesnt really try to beat anyone. He waits until theyre all in the center engaging with robots when he walks to the center of the room.

and he sees the zero pointer in the distance.

“THE ZERO-POINTER’S HERE!” He yells and points at the gigantic mech heading their way. All at once everyone’s heads whip up to catch sight of the robot, enraptured by its sheer size and power. 

As they all look to one direction, Deku makes eye contact with them and smiles.

All at once, every single participant in the area goes limp. Astron throws their souls into the astral plane with little fanfare and everyone watches in awe and annoyance as their bodies uselessly crumple to the ground from the outside. The green-haired boy is suddenly given free reigns of the arena and they seethe as one by one he deactivates or disables robots that were once under their purview.

(What some of the smarter ones notice however, is the way he seems to be leaving some stray 3 pointers untouched... almost as if he was doing the calculations in his head as he goes... on how to ensure the number one spot while others can still score points...?)

One by one however, they start struggling and reaching to reconnect with their bodies. Their gleaming bright souls bob up and down with frenzied energy and Deku feels it. He feels it like itches on his skin and goosebumps that turn into hills that dance up and down his back. He feels it like he feels his limit reaching.

Its still around 10 minutes though before he actually loses control and everyone comes back to their bodies. His quirk times out and almost like its angry, the astral plane takes his body in exchange for the dozens he kept in there. He gets sucked through and passes out while everyone else runs and destroys the remaining bots. It doesn’t matter though, because he knows he’s racked up enough points to stay on top. He lets himself rest and observes the blue-haired tall guy with engines who contemplates carrying Deku’s body to safety.

Until, he sees her.

Just under some rubble and very close to getting crushed by the Zero-Pointer’s foot, Deku spots a brown-haired young girl that he recalls has some kind of floating quirk. He sees as everyone runs past her, prioritizing their own safety instead of hers.

He makes a decision.

Quickly--recklessly, a familiar gruff voice says in his ear--he forces himself back into his body and looks around. He runs to the girl and attempts to dig her out from the rubble before she gets crushed. The robot comes ever closer.

Using the little strength and flexibility he’s learnt from years of sparring with Kacchan, Deku abandons her in favor of climbing up the broken concrete and metal to meet the robot’s visor. He knows he won’t save her by digging her out of there, but by god is he gonna let her get injured without a fight. These robots weren’t designed to kill, but they were designed to destroy.

Focus. Focus and listen to what’s around you, Izu-kun.

The world around him reduces to tunnel-vision and suddenly Deku is face to face with the Zero-Pointer. It stops, as if calculating how to discard of Deku without hurting him severely with its own strength.

Everything has life in it. You only need to focus and look for it.

Izuku Midoriya looks at the robot.

In a whirlwind of blue and green, he reaches inside of himself and searches for life. Cold steel and hard-wired code meet his gaze and he plunges even deeper. 

Focus.

Then all at once, everything in his visions snaps into sudden clarity, like he’s never seen before. He feels everything. Sees Everything. Smells, tastes, hears--and he hears how the metal beneath him bends and groans. He feels how it winces and shudders. He sees it as it opens its maw and its visor bends in a facsimile of eyes, pleading him as if asking how?

The robot beneath him comes to life and stumbles back.

Quickly, he scrambles to the nearest ledge which happens to be a broken support beam. Distantly, he thinks he feels his arm being sliced open on the edge of it and the warmth of blood streaming down his side as he nearly falls. 

“HEY! YOU WITH THE ENGINES!” He hoarsely screams to the still remaining, slack-jawed contestants. “I CAN’T KEEP THE ZERO POINTER DOWN FOR LONG! GO HELP THE GIRL AND TAKE HER TO SAFETY NOW!”

With a sudden burst of energy, the fellow participants start taking others out from the rubble while the blue-haired boy helps the brunette he was protecting earlier. As he watches them clear the rubble to drag her out, he feels a pang.

Who am I? a lost voice calls out. It’s raspy and almost-robotic sounding and only he can hear it. Where am I? What am I?

And Deku’s vision flickers.

In and out, he sees flashes through eyes that aren’t his. He hears voices that are simultaneously faraway and way too close for comfort. The world tugs at the sides of his perspective and a strain is pulling at the back of his head tearing his brain to shreds. He doesn’t know what he’s focusing or straining on, except that its working and keeping the zero-pointer down.

He grits his teeth. “Hurry the hell up! i can’t do this any longer--”

Bursts of pain appear behind his mismatched eyes and he wants to scream so bad and if he were looking any clearer he’d see the way that the zero-pointer thrashes on the ground in time with the pounding on his skull. Bile crawls up the back of his throat and Deku screams.

“SHE’S CLEAR! YOU CAN LET GO NOW, MIDORIYA-SAN.”

Izuku lets go and his vision goes black.

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

[takecarc]

hey there dudes, it’s me… ya boi. i won’t bore you with a long ass intro about me, but just know all you gotta do to befriend this fellow bean is yell into my ims that you wanna plot or legit anything else… i like yelling in all caps. anyways, my name’s amanda, i reside in the sunny gmt+1 timezone and i go by she/her. that’s abt it i guess ?? i never rly know what to say in these so i’ll just proceed to telling you about my children ethan and mallory under the cut

ps: like this and i’ll come to you for plots or yknow… just hmu !!

✎⌠sebastian stan. male. he/his���❝ — well, look who’s just arrived ! if it isn’t the one and only ethan bronson. though, around here they’re known as the cinephile. don’t tell ‘em i said this but the thirty five year old hollywood director and producer kinda has a reputation of being incessant and pedant. but y’know, they can be visionary and intuitive too. typical virgo. anyways, welcome home and stay safe ethan ! ❞ ↷ amanda. 19. she/her. gmt+1. 

when i saw there was a vacancy for the owner of reel tide cinema i just knew i had to bring my son ethan into this group. his parents would have bought the place back in the 80s and now that his dad passed away her mom must likely put it in his name since she doesn’t feel like she’s capable of running the place all by herself.

ethan grew up in that movie theater, spending his early childhood sneaking into exhibitions of films he had no business of seeing at that age and helping his folks renovate the halls with a fresh coat of paint. nothing else has ever changed about the cinema and he likes it that way .... in all its original, outdated, moldy, classic glory.

anyways, up with two film enthusiasts as parents and just about the easiest environment to learn about movies in general it’s really no wonder that ethan always dreamt of becoming a big hollywood director. he’d pull out his camera anywhere he went, filming little scenery shots, his friends talking, stray dogs eating and anything else he found worthwhile. he was a completely geek.

he got into UCLA with a scholarship for filmmaking and screenwriting but ended up dropping out and pursuing directing on his own. his first ever film was an absolute knockout at every film festival it was showcased in and he went on to win a spirit award for best director and being nominated for as oscar. ever since then his life has been a roller coaster of awards and amazing movies he’s either directed, produced, written or a combination of the three. 

hanging out with the big guns of hollywood has certainly refined his taste. he’s a lot more judgmental and short tempered than before, uninterested in ideas or conversations he doesn’t find remotely interesting. on the bright side he’s extremely creative, smart and cultured. Woke, if you will. he’s also a big perfectionist and won’t quit until something is done exactly how he wants it done. 

coming back into town he feels like a stranger, like the odd man out, as if over the years he broke the tether that connected him to this place and can’t seem to find it anymore. but he needed a break and his dad just passed away so he thought it’d be nice of him to come help his mom for a while ... breathe a simpler air than the one of hollywood and la. 

wanted connections: a childhood best friend that was also rly into movies, a girlfriend he left behind to go to college, a fling he would have whenever he’d come in and out of town in his early 20s, some kind of rival or enemy bc those are always fun. and MORE. ANYTHING. 

pinterest board ( i just started it so not much there yet ! )

✎⌠zoey deutch. female. she/her⌡❝ — well, look who’s just arrived ! if it isn’t the one and only mallory dunn. though, around here they’re known as the instigator. don’t tell ‘em i said this but the twenty one year old bartender kinda has a reputation of being unreliable and petulant. but y’know, they can be alluring and uninhibited too. typical gemini. anyways, welcome home and stay safe mal ! ❞ ↷  amanda. 19. she/her. gmt+1.

drug use, neglect and abuse trigger warning !!!

boy oh boy, yall bettle settle in your seats bc you’re in for a RIDE

this messy binch did not have it easy for most of her upbringing. without delving too much into more triggering subjects, she was taken from her drug addict parents and put into the foster system due to neglect. she was put in a number of foster homes but the families never rly cared abt her nor the other kids ... they just wanted to make bank of the financial support given to adopting families. the last foster home was the worst of all, to the extent she had to beat up the father with a bat as to not let him do ... things he shouldn’t be doing to children.

this would explain why at age 16, when she was told a nice family from misty hollow wanted to adopt a whole ass teenager she thought it was a prank or a sick joke. she did not believe it and even after she moved in she did everything to try and show them they shouldn’t keep her. but they did. and she’s never felt more loved in her life.

thing is, ever since mallory got to town she’s done nothing short of cause utter and complete havoc. straying good angelic teens from their rightful paths, leading married individuals ( read both male and female ) into the sinful hands of adultery, trespassing into abandoned locations, getting arrested for misdemeanors. 

no-one ever knows what to expect of her. she’s completely unreliable and too smart for her own good. she’s got a stellar intuiton and she’ll play you before you can even think about it. charming as can be when she wants to. loud mouthed, unhinged, moody.  drinking, doing drugs, having sex, keeping secrets. that’s the best description of mal i can give you.

oh and a completely useless detail: she refuses to wear anything other than high top chuck taylor converse. she has them in every color, pattern and even platforms. 

wanted connections: a total partner in crime, someone she corrupted, relationships that ended badly ( screams, tears, cheating, toxicity !! all the angst ), fwbs, the ‘i hate you but i can’t get enough of you pls answer my call i’m so horny’, someone whose marriage/engagement/relationship she broke off bc they cheated with her ( i love my lil homewrecker ), a yin to her yang ... and literally anything else. 

pinterest board.

if you made it this far you’re an absolute trouper and ily for it. if want any of those connections or any other you have in mind pls don’t hesitate to contact me ! 

[jaanwangji]

Hello!!!! My day was fine till i started scrolling through louis' twitter to make an edit for 12dol and i became so emotional. it's just the way he talks to us, about us and how regularly he checks up on us and how constantly he thanks us tells us he's so grateful. I also cried a little when i saw the s*co tweet, ok that's a lie i cried alot!!!but hey they were happy tears so.....no regrets.

Sooo.... My life is just a series of embarrassing events to an extent i can't think of anything. So I'll tell you two things, one is slightly embarrassing (only slightly plzz don't think that's the most embarrassing moment it's just something at the top of my mind) and second a memory i think about and laugh(its cute i swear).

So when i was tenth and we just started trigonometry (it's hard whenyou start yk sm to remember) so i was sitting with two of my friends sitting on either side of me. Sir gave us a question we all started working. But both of my friends were being so annoying. One of them just kept asking me small questions and the other one was saying all the formulas out loud. In short annoying me I was having a hard time concentrating and i like maths so i get competitive. So i cery loudly told them to stfu!! And literally every one heard me. And sir looked at me laughed and said yeah you tell em. My tenth grade self foungld it really embarrassing believe me now I'm just shouting things in class all the time.

The second one was when i was really young. I was the youngest cousin and i was visiting my oldest cousin. So yk he treated me like really nicely. Always used to carry me around in his arms and stuff. So he had a dog a bitch might i say. She used to get soo jealous of the fact that I'm recieving more attention than her so she used to bark at me and stuff. But the funniest thing she used to do was sit really close to my parents. And my dad was some what scared of dogs so that used to be really funny. And little me had a hero syndrome. So i wanted to "save" my dad but i used to be scared of her too i mean i was like soo small she was bigger than me in size😂😂 I got over my fear of her when i was 11 😂😂

And I'm really curious about this poem stuff?!! What were you writing?? Like both of them😂😂 god this one got soo long maybe I'll add a fact later🙈~ ❄

DBDJDJDKKDKKDBDJDJJ who hasn't cried a river while thinking of louis? I sure have more times than I'm willing to admit jkkd its just he is everything lol can't even describe what exactly he means to me yk

bdkdkks i wish i had your teacher lol he sounds dopeee. i hate maths actually, that's the bane of my freaking existence like where tf would i need trigonometry in my future?! pls explain ew

omg i LOVE dogs i want one soooo bad but my mom hates pets and says they're too much work for my lazy ass djjdkd i plan on getting one when i move out for good but we'll see lmao EJKSKKKEKE i imagine that would seriously be very very hilarious oof dogs are amazing nfkddk

I can send u the poems later lol but the one i was writing was kindaaaaa abt sex fjdjkd well not really but it had that sexy undertone yk too many metaphors and what not but still very blatant if you know what to relate it too djdjdk idek why i was writing that i generally don't write about those kinda things but sometimes my mind just goes "boom you gotta write" and im like "but what" and it goes "you gotta" fbdjjbb (also I've no experience of sex lol djdjdk)

the one my teacher read was a sad one i think i wrote it when i was really down or something and it was frankly concerning just how much i wanted to end it all, i don't blame her for being worried about my health coz like that shit is concerning but i think it was more of me pouring out my feelings than yk writing about what i wanted to do but she didn't know obvio fjfjfk

ps: most of my poems are veryyy depressing lol i can't help it

okay do i need to share an embarrassing story now since you shared two? Xbdbndb

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: Power Transfer

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: 

One for all is a power that has been passed down for generations. Turns out the most recent generation can afford to be a whole lot more liberal with his sharing. Also turns out sharing quirks runs in the family.

An AU where Izuku can share OFA full cowling with multiple people at once.

shared power ofa,

izuku giving aizawa 5% of one for all durring the usj or izuku giving toshinori 99% of OFA durring the last fight

cause consider the world never finding out about small might, all might retires but izuku knows

the rescue team all having the max amount of ofa they can use, which is around 2% each, cause a lil sparking team of heroes

izuku using kirishima to give bakugo some too n them using it to get away

izuku having two quirks is my favourite goddamn thing bc him being able to share his quirk but not having anything to share is great

he gives bits to allmight, like a constant 1% so he can teach classes and do press stuff

some rando wants to do an "all might" where is he now segment and it spans a good few months so izuku is continuously in the background just

conspiracy theory starts that izuku is a villain or allmights son

a villain and all might's son

izuku has no double toe joint but the doc cant find any evidence of a quirk? so he tells them izuku is either quirkless or has an invisible quirk. something subtle, or specific enough to have not activated by now

bakugo kinda,, is chill with izuku. he was waiting for izuku to develop a quirk till he judged him, but he never did so he kinda withheld judgement long enough for them to become decent friends

anyway, izuku likes to ramble about different things his quirk could technically be, bakugo likes to join in. they can go at this for h o u r s cackling about stupid hypotheticals

they workout together, they both do boxing and try out random moves they see on the internet on each other. they have a pile of gym mats in the woods like the weirdos they are

bakugo is like,, convinced izuku's quirk is actually an intellect up but he just shrugs

izuku has to grab something before he heads home so he takes the underpass and we get basically episode 1 from there. all might says no, the villain gets away, attacks Bakugo. izuku runs in, throws dust in the villain's eyes and pulls at bakugo's hands. all might jumps in, saves the day yada yada

some background for u about all might bc his past is a touch different here. during the battle with afo, afo was distracted. all might sustained the same injures but won more easily.

night eye never looks into his future because "my purpose is done, nighteye. let's live like everyone else, no fate of the world on our shoulders" he never looks into all mights future again at his request

they stay together

so instead of the big argument they go get ramen and get drunk because they don't have to be superhuman anymore, they can relax now

back to the main timeline-

so izuku is already fit, cleans the beach in 8 months, nighteye supervises

all might gives izuku the quirk 2 months before the entrance exam, nighteye is there to "oversee" (he wants to see izuku choke on a hair and laugh at this kid hes become pretty fond of)

also mirio! is izuku's bro because i love he

izuku eats the hair and gets the quirk like, instantly which?? is confusing nighteye and all might. nighteye has like,,, hidden behind a car because hes the only person with self-preservation

allmight touches izuku and the lightning climbs up his arm and he just pOofs out into swolmight. hes ShooK, so is izuku

anyway, he manages to turn it off and izuku is just standing there like "oh my god what the fuck"

"izuku,, what,, happened there"

",,,, one for all??? leaked out??? into allmight????"

...

"nighteye come over here."

"izukU nO"

"STAND STILL NIGHTEYE I JUST NEED TO TRY SOMETHING"

nighteye is forcibly given a little of ofa and regrets a lot of stuff

anyway, izuku breaks an arm trying to use ofa and hes muttering trying to work out how to use it, nighteye basically says "well, think back to how ofa came about" and izuku is like ",,, what"

and nighteye screams because TOSHI YOU DIDNT TELL HIM?????? and allmight ",,, o o p s"

so izuku gets to hear the story of all for one while hes being driven to UA for recovery girl hes,,, really quiet for a second

"when did you fight him?"

"six years ago, april?"

",,, this has to be a coincidence"

hisashi went out on a "business trip" 6 years ago and they haven't seen him since. he calls, but hes never visited and izuku has this terrible feeling

because izuku cant calm down and because nighteye thinks this kid might be on to something they call tsukauchi and he agrees to meet them at UA

izuku gets treated, naomasa is in v quickly afterwards before he calls his dad he turns to nighteye, allmight and Naomasa

"i've never been able to lie to my dad. i thought he was just really good at reading me but,,"

"if hes afo he might have a quirk"

"yeah. so i'll just twist the truth. im good at that, but thats all i'll be able to do"

anyway, he calls up his dad and slaps this big grin on his face. the phone is on speaker

"hey dad!!!!" "izuku! is something wrong?"

"oi, cant i call my dad for no reason?"

"you, willingly calling someone? dont make me laugh"

izuku giggles despite himself

"anyway, you'll never guess!!"

"did youuuu,,,, hmmmm, meet all might?"

they freeze but izuku just laughs

"yeah,, but thats not the most exciting thing!!! my quirk came in finally"

"oh?"

"yeah! imagine the worlds most basic power enhancer, but i can share the energy! you have any idea where that could have come from?"

"no! i can't think of anyone in our family with a quirk like that! sounds crazy!"

naomasa looks grin, and mouths "liar"

izuku pales but keeps his smile

"do you think you could visit, id love to show you!! oh, maybe we could test it together! you always had the best ideas for my quirk notes"

"id love to izuku, but im stuck in america for the near future, you know it is. i'll see what i can do tho, ok champ?"

naomasa shakes his head again "lying" izuku looks like hes going to be sick. nighteye is pale, all might looks stunned. izuku grits his teeth but his voice is still light and happy

"i'm gonna make it into UA so you can watch me kick butt from america! you better cheer me on!"

"im looking forward to it. say hi to your mother from me."

naomasa nods. hes telling the truth. that makes nighteye feel the sickest

"love you izuku"

",,, love you too dad"

izuku hangs up the phone and retches into the bin. nighteye is shaking. all might storms out. naomasa punches the wall

izuku looks up with tears in his eyes

",,, does my mum know?"

nighteye wants to cry

"i dont know kid"

izuku tells katuski that his quirk finally came in! but,,, in the worlds biggest mess of a way

basically hes lying in bed, trying to work out why he can't use it without breaking bones but the people he shares it with can, he bolts upright

"POWER MODULATION OH MY GOD"

he runs out his door all the way to bakugos house and climbs in through his window, grabbing a sleeping bakugo by the shoulders

"KACCHAN ITS POWER MODULATION"

"IZuKU whAt tHE fuCK"

"my quirk!!! i was breaking bones because i wasnt modulating it!!!"

",,,,q QUiRK/???/?"

",,,, oh yeah oops"

mitsuki runs in with a frying pan ready to murder a villain but its just izuku

"carry on"

izuku doesnt tell him its ofa but he explains his quirk has finally showed up, bakugo asks him if hes registered it yet

",,,noooooo"

"wait what? you, breaking the law? mister "i cant kill an ant because all might himself will call me a villain""

izuku, w the most shit-eating grin, explains that you only legaly have to register your quirk when it shows up, or after you are tested when you are five, whichever happens first so, legally, he doesnt need to register because it would be seen as voluntary updating

cut to the enterance exam

aizawa is holding the papers for the kids hes observing right then

"quirkless? that kid doesn't look quirkless"

and yagi sighs

"of course he didnt,,,"

"all might? do you know him?"

"NO NO IDEA WHO MID- THAT YOUNG CHILD IS"

",,,, r i g h t"

“aizawa listen i have never seen young midoriya in my life ever”

basically, izuku is hiding the "transfer" part of his power from most people bc hes stubborn and thinks it could be useful

also,,, in this au shinso makes it in on hero points thanks

bakugo is about to rush the 0 pointer but shinso can see its going to fall on him shinsou yells

"HEY FUCK FACE"

"HA-"

"MOVE MOVE MOVE GET OVER HERE BEFORE YOU FUCKING DIE OH MY GOD MOVE I DONT WANT TO SEE SOMEONE DIE TODAY"

shinsou and bakugou are the type of friends that flat out have no love for each other but would punch anyone who says anything bad abt the other. like shinsou walks into school and bakugou s just

“dammit i thought u fucking died smh”

“i wish i did then i wouldn’t have to look at ur ugly ass”

in this au shinso and izuku bond when they are standing outside they door bc izuku looks like hes gonna fucking cry hes so scared and shinsou is like "wow big mood"

shinso is not shinson in this au! bc izuku is gonna do a soft

basically, quirk test? shinsou is s w e a t i n g bakugo looks a little worried for his new friend but no one would notice if they weren’t izuku

shinsou turns to him like "my quirk is mental im going to fa I L"

izuku grabs his hand and he feels this rush of energy, you can almost see it dancing along his skin. izuku grins

"i think you'll find you do just fine"

(izuku gave him like,, less than a full 1% but hes like doubled in strength and speed and hes??? shook?? bc whats happening)

aizawa is lost bc shinso has a mental quirk he shouldnt be doing this well, so he tries to cancel it

nothing happens and aizawa is so lost??? bc shinsou is kinda reedy and not super fit but hes placing solidly in the middle

and he noticing that shinso’s eyes seem to be glowing and so are they eyes of the kid coming in second and gives a big "hm,mmmm"

anyway, ball pitch, he cancels izukus quirk and turns to look at shinso, his eyes are dim. izuku looks sheepish but also like hes ready to throw down and its an interesting look

aizawa just sighs "you know what? just throw the ball."

izuku g r i n s and yeets it into next year using more of his quirk than he like,, really should have? to prove a point (his finger is bruised, not broken. he used 25%)

anyway aizawa shows the results, shinso is in the middle, izuku second, hagakure is last and sadly shes not getting expelled bc plot reasons – im sorry I have a thing against her shes perfectly valid probably im just still convinced shes the traitor even tho its totally a teacher

he calls izuku out on it but does admit he didnt say you couldnt help eachother, so its kind on him. shinso looks like hes going to pass out with relief

Hagekure is the traitor in this au though, 100%

during the camp she is at the pick up zone, hiding. izuku pulls bakugo out of the way, they all seem safe

but

she pushes izuku in through the portal as it closes

fyi afo takes her quirk and leaves her braindead in the nomu factory bc shes not useful anymore. also because now he needs to have a really awkward conversation with his son he was hoping to avoid

also usj? is really melodramatic

he gives aizawa 4% which is the max nighteye could hold without it hurting

aizawa takes a hit from the nomu and he reaches out his hand

izuku cries as he gives him an extra 4% and aizawa gets free but he can see bruises forming with every step his teacher takes

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D