#ilya bryzgalov

[wehaveagathering]

the loneliest job in the world // tony hoagland

ben jackson / minas panagiotakis / len redkoles / mitchell leff / joel auerbach / jonathan daniel / eliot j. schechter / steve babineau / scott taetsch / bruce bennett / jared c. tilton / minas panagiotakis / gerry thomas / mark blinch / ben jackson / bruce bennett / jeff vinnick / andy marlin / norm hall / gerry thomas / bruce bennett

[takaska]

When I find myself in times of trouble Ilya Bryzgalov comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, "It's only game"

And in my hour of darkness He is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom "Why you have to be mad?"

[ninetyminutes]

saw the hockey au tag and had to come scream about it. lorne is a scrappy third line winger for sure but everyone knows his real talent is helping the coaching staff figure out the power play. dick ebersol is goalie, chevy is star first line center with dan on his wing

Oooo you’ve opened a can of worms in my brain. If I were to write this, which I will not be, this is what I think I would lean towards.

So I hear your Dick Ebersol as goalie but I think John Belushi is definitely also giving goalie vibes. Especially with how temperamental he is, like goalies are so weird and often times like to be left alone. I’m picturing him as some sort of hybrid goalie, like take Tuukka Rask’s anger and Ilya Bryzgalov’s sort of quirkiness with maybe a bit of Marc-Andre Fleury’s notoriety as a jokester and maybe a bit of his unpredictability—I’m looking at Fleury’s flying poke-checks in particular. He definitely leaves the crease a lot and it gives Lorne a heart attack every time. Maybe before their first game he leaves the rink and misses warmups and then just doesn’t show up until literally they’re about to take the ice.

If we’re making this a brand new professional team (idk what level we’re thinking), then David Tebet is definitely the General Manager (GM) for the team. Lore wise I’m thinking something along the lines of that baseball movie Major League where the owner of the baseball team wanted the team to fail.

Dick Ebersol could be like the Assistant GM or an Assistant Coach who used to play as a goalie. I can see him being sort of stuck between the corporate business world and the day-to-day operations with the team. He’s giving Kelly McCrimmon vibes, which is super obscure so I’ll elaborate. McCrimmon is the current GM of the Vegas Golden Knights, but before that there was a time where he was both the Head Coach and GM of an SJHL team (he was also their bus driver for a brief stint but that’s not important). I’m thinking something along the lines of this where Dick is the Assistant GM and also an Assistant Coach of the team.

More under the cut because I wrote wayyyyy too much

Lorne Michaels is in a bit of a weird spot because he’s not a part of the cast but he makes appearances. So it really depends on what the writer wants to write. You could make him a Head Coach, the Captain of the team, or he could be this weird Coach/Player hybrid if you don’t mind bending the rules a little. Like maybe he started as a player in the preseason or maybe this is his first season coaching in general and so being Head Coach is like being thrown off the deep end. And maybe he doesn’t play unless they know a particular game could use his particular skill set. Or maybe he only jumps on the ice when they’re down and they really need a goal and he’s got this play in his head only he can really execute.

Lorne and Chevy were responsible for writing almost half of the sketches in the entire first SNL season. The episodes that won them Emmy’s? Chevy and Lorne were almost solely responsible for coming up with a lot of the sketches. So I can totally see them being paired up a lot in the ice, but I feel like Lorne would rarely score goals. Like he’s just got a fuck ton of assists, both credited or uncredited maybe. But in general, I can definitely see him as a top line center whose best skill is drawing up plays and stuff, like he’s a mastermind. He runs the timeouts.

I totally agree that Lorne’s better as a coach, like every knows that’s what he’d be the best at because the things he comes up with are phenomenal. He definitely spends way too much time watching film like immediately after a game he pulls out the iPad and watches the film (like he does after SNL episodes). And I can’t help but think back to that time Lorne beat up those protesters who were trying to attack a host at a live show or in the movie when he rushed to Leo’s side when he was fighting the security guards, so even though Lorne doesn’t like confrontation and he’s certainly not known for being someone who fights often, he has no problem fighting people to protect his people. Lorne would definitely have been involved in player scouting and acquisitions before the season began.

Chevy is a top line forward for sure. Probably has the most goals on the team, is egotistical, and he definitely chirps a lot. He’ll get into fights on occasion, but he never throws the first punch. It’s definitely his mouth that gets him in trouble.

I can totally see Danny being on Chevy’s line but he also lowkey gives defenseman vibes. Definitely calls Lorne “Coach” (like he calls him Boss in the movie). Pretty easy going, definitely the jokester on the team. I think you could put him on a line with anyone and they’d have chemistry.

Michael O’Donoghue is a defenseman for sure (I think). He chirps just as much if not more so than Chevy, but doesn’t get into nearly as many riffs with opposing players. My guess is others tend to step in before things get too serious or maybe his chirps are so big brained and clever that they make players uncomfortable just as much as they do angry.

I’m not sure if I see Jane as a forward or defenseman, but I can definitely see her on a line with Garrett.

Gilda would be a forward that they could put on any line like she’s just got great chemistry with everyone. I think I can see her being one of the fastest skaters on the team, too.

Laraine is a forward, I think. Idk much about her but maybe she enjoys being on Danny’s line or something?

Rosie is a total wild card for me. I think Lorne would bring her on as an Assistant Coach, but I’m really open to hearing what other people think.

I feel like Neil has gotta be an Equipment Manager. He’s totally lost and has little to no clue what’s going on, but things get done somehow thanks to him and the other staff. He once got an assist as an Equipment Manager on the bench during the game (see clips on YouTube for what I mean) and everyone screamed and cheered for him.

[circle--of--confusion]

In the wizened words of Ilya Bryzgalov.....

[goalhofer]

Where every player played during the 2012-13 NHL lockout: Philadelphia

Czech Extraliga: Wayne Simmonds (Bílí Tygři Liberec) ECHL: Jason Akeson (Trenton Titans) EIHL: Tom Sestito (Sheffield Steelers) Liiga: Maxime Talbot (Ilves) OHL: Scott Laughton (Oshawa Generals) DEL: Daniel Brière (Eisbären Berlin) & Claude Giroux (Eisbären Berlin) Eishockey-Bundesliga: Bruno Gervais (Heilbronner Falken) & Wayne Simmonds (E.T.C. Crimmitschau) HockeyAllsvenskan: Nicklas Grossmann (Södertälje Sportklubb) & Matt Read (Södertälje Sportklubb) KHL: Ilya Bryzgalov (K.K. C.S.K.A. Moscow), Ruslan Fedotenko (K.K. Donbass Donetsk) & Jakub Voráček (H.K. Lev Praha) AHL: Jason Akeson (Adirondack Phantoms), Sean Couturier (Adirondack Phantoms), Erik Gustafsson (Adirondack Phantoms), Oliver Holton-Lauridsen (Adirondack Phantoms), Brandon Manning (Adirondack Phantoms), Tye McGinn (Adirondack Phantoms), Zac Rinaldo (Adirondack Phantoms), Jay Rosehill (Norfolk Admirals), Brayden Schenn (Adirondack Phantoms) & Harry Zolnierczyk (Adirondack Phantoms) Didn't Play: Braydon Coburn, Simon Gagné, Scott Hartnell, Mike Knuble, Andrej Meszároš, Luke Schenn & Kimmo Timonen

[am8zing]

i just saw ilya bryzgalov 'why you heff to be mad' in a fucking smosh video what goddamn yEAR IS IT

[dontforgetoctober3rd]

Fun fact: next year, it'll be just two more years until Philadelphia can stop paying Ilya Bryzgalov what's left of his contract

[eightfourone]

JERMA KNOWS ILYA BRYZGALOV??

[hearteyesmcgarrett]

🐺 ⚔️ ❄️ 🐀 for the hockey asks!

🐺 Build a NHL starting line up (3F, 2D, 1G) based on a really weird criteria for comedic effect (e.g. guys with names that sound like Dylan).

it will only consist of captains. they must compete for Ultimate Captain

Sidney Crosby, Gabriel Landeskog, Aleksander Barkov (specifically bc he is the only other person i know of who spells his name that way, and i think he followed me on twitter once upon a time)

Jared Spurgeon, Roman Josi

goalies can't be captains (boo!) but Flower has the correct energy for this team

⚔️ What is goaltender interference? (Wrong answers only).

answered this previously: when you try to give a goalie a hug but some guy shoves you out of the way and makes you sad

❄️ What is your most and least favorite thing about winter?

i love snow!! i hate when its negative a thousand and i have to go outside

🐀 What is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a hockey player say?

Duhaime saying "For him to do this at 50, it’s special.” about Flower the other day was so fucking funny, esp with Kaprisov saying "“I don't feel like he's 39 years old, he looks 18"

honorable mention for the ever classic "its only game, why you have to be mad?" from Ilya Bryzgalov

[icedhockey]

hockey players + quotes i think about daily [1/?]

[ice-hockey-is-pretty-cool]

Examples that show goalies are the best, part one

1: Marc-André Fleury tripping

2: Carey Price staring down at Chris Kreider after he bounce off him

3: Juliús Hudáček and Henrik Lundberg leapfrogging

4: Whatever this dude is doing

5: Anything Hudáček does

6: Scott Darling not wanting to deal with this shit

7: Sergei Bobrovsky giving the best hugs

8: Ilya Bryzgalov in general

9: Kari Lehtonen waiting for the puck drop

10: Craig Anderson making himself a chair

>part 1<

{part 2}

[nototherwisespecified]

[dougiewonderland]

So I'm not sure if you guys know, but I've had a letter board that for the last year or two has had this on it:

And tonight I finally gathered the willpower to change it. Everyone, please welcome:

This took so long that it will probably stay for just as long as the last one 😅

[papayasonice]

goalies be looking out of their little face prisons at the scoreboard like 🙄

[never-a-president]

Ilya Bryzgalov was never president of the United States.

[hockey-time-machine]

The short story of how Bryzgalov was in an accident so severe some doctors said he’d never play again