#ily yohane

[tex-now]

Hi. I like love live

[quinn-pop]

OUHHH look at her

[m3loria]

˖﹙ 🌠 ﹚ TOWER SIDE MEMORY.

WHERE yohan thinks his members are the most telling combination of strange.

˖ FEATURING. hong yohan, meliora ensemble. ˖ TIMESTAMP. NOV '19–SEP '22, scene combination. ˖ WARNINGS. swearing, insomnia, mentions of drinking, smoking, fighting, this is not in chronological order. ˖ WORD COUNT. 8.7k ˖ NOTES. happy friday random account viewers, hi jj no.1 yohan stan mega oomf ily btw 😊😊 so i basically sort of kind of plagiarized this because its the oc work of the century.. sorry, it was either this or angst and i can save that for another time!! im an angst lover to my core lowk 💗 i will make these men sad, anyway, warning bc this work is non-linear, i love writing things out of order its so fun 🫶 yohan's the best person for this because hes basically meliora's face and jj wants him so bad 🙂‍↕️ me too honestly (i created him), this work absolutely killed me to write since i debated on how sad i should make each section, not everything is that bad though!! im so sweet cant you see it in my smile 😁😁

   OCTOBER  6  2021.   LOUVIX AUDIO BUILDING

hwan is low maintenance, yohan doesn’t have to be a genius to know that one.

through observant glances and itching from none other than haneul, he figures that encapsulating silence defines his character. when meeting him firstly, he felt just the slightest bit seen. it’s unlike the groups flurry of extroverts who get uneasy when they don’t receive a text each hour, the two don’t even need to have each other’s numbers.

friendship has never been discreetly established, hwan never verbally establishes anything, he implies it through actions, through baked treats and intricately created charm bracelets.

yohan’s gotten a few cookies, he thinks he’s in the clear.

despite the label of ‘hiatus’, he never exactly rests, not when the members decide to leave anyway. resting would equate to doing nothing, and yohan loathes doing nothing, maybe he should write a song about that.

there’s no time for anything, he’s let off promotions yet there’s still so much to do. hospital visits, meeting attendances, so much catching up he genuinely doesn’t give a thought about when he finally passes out after midnight.

what’s the point of being out on a ‘hiatus’ if the company can’t even attempt to get rid of a few unhealthy tendencies? maybe they want to make way for another stage collapse, that wouldn’t be too daunting. sometimes, he feels like they think he’s a machine instead.

the scrawled lyrics appear as more of diary entries than anything, what the fuck is he writing about again? if this is going like it does in that one story, then a guardian angel will appear to him and finish the whole thing instead.

“aren’t you tired?”

or he guesses hwan.

it isn’t as if it’s the first time he’s ever heard a mutter from the younger, there consistently happens to exist silent mumbles in the background of regular arguments. he usually does give his piece, it simply isn’t loud enough to cut through the ear bleeding sounds of fighting.

well hwan sort of is a guardian angel, unwillingly, in a completely unaware manner, but he acts as a preserver nonetheless. he scrunches his nose at the inquiry, biting his wince back at the screech of the nearby chair. “it’s only been an hour”.

it isn’t an excuse, no, it’s a fact, though he supposes any other member would graciously take the aftermath of silence as an opportunity to attempt a scathing rebuttal, hwan remains silent, much too familiar with using the very own words as a response.

he rubs at his wrist, lethargy staring down lethargy, it’s ironic. it comes sporadically on occasion, but he sometimes feels like yohan’s spitting image, yet the degree of timidity stretches.

“that’s still a lot of sleep missing” he laughs, a quick glance at the scribbled lyrics, he pays no mind to them, it’s typically a team effort, which is pretty caustic considering the lack of definitive teamwork between whatever they write. for once, uneasiness seizes his features, concern, yohan thinks in another life, he’d probably be the group leader. “i mean— i guess i can’t talk about that but uh.. this is your break, for, you know, resting?”

“i’ve spent half the time resting”.

yohan doesn’t find pride in lying, it’s simply effective in moments like this, where someone once again stares him down to inquire about the unhealthy behavior he can’t keep under wraps any longer, it’s to quell worries, it’s a brick wall used to at least conceal something.

but of course, someone so similar can probably spot that one, it isn’t as if he underestimates the other’s intelligence, it’s simply the fact of the prospect being a regular coping mechanism.

“okay hyung”.

his undertone is soft enough that it doesn’t physically irk the older, but it almost appears just the slightest bit condescending, at least he has the pretty smile as a sugar coating device. “i can finish this..”

yohan’s right eye twitches, yet not out of irritation. “no, it’s okay”.

okay is about the worst word to use.

“my handwriting isn’t that bad”.

he snickers, he doesn’t exactly expect that one. “it’s too personal, you might go crazy”.

and the excuses are going to pile up until there are none left, until yohan has to surrender his dignity to admit the fact that he’s scared, that his medication does nothing and the claustrophobic studio has already swallowed him whole.

but until then, nobody cares about that.

he shrugs in reply. “the intimacy is an important factor”.

“i’m gonna scrap it”.

this is probably the longest conversation they’ve had, yes, despite the many lyrical collaborations. the act of stalling is easy, and the simplicity clears the anxiety he felt encapsulating him before the younger entered.

hwan blinks. “or you could let me help”.

help should be a word of contentment, but that uneasiness once again settles, longing for solace in the air of a room like this is a fool’s dream, and yohan thinks it’s been too extensive of a period since he’s properly closed his eyes without fearing what would happen after sleep. sleep itself appears to be a dream, he reaches, his fingers just barely grace its curvatures, and then it slips away once hope emerges in a gleam, taunting, fucking shameful.

in his current circumstance, help could be considered similarly, he yearns for such a thing, yet it’s just barely out of his reach.

his glasses are fogging.

yohan sucks his teeth, now he actually does want to scrap the whole song. “i mean.. i don’t know how we— you would do that”.

he isn’t exactly sure they’re a team in his eyes.

“what? you don’t trust me?”

it could be earnest, but it appears more playful, yohan’s sure hwan is picking such words carefully.

it’s actually the opposite, yohan doesn’t trust himself, which is a stupid thing for such a stubborn person to say aloud, so of course he doesn’t.

“not sure..”

for the first time, his responses dry up, there appears to be no more excuses left behind.

there’s a smile, hwan lords his victory over yohan with that smile. “go to sleep hyung, i can finish the song”.

and it’s the simplicity which moves him, has him standing out of his seat, hand instantly grabbing his sweater. hwan’s smile remains, it’s a rare right, and yohan guesses he has the right to be full of so much pride. “was that a first?”

well now he’s just being cocky.

“i guess” yohan shrugs, he doesn’t divulge the imminent fear of closing his eyes which will probably arise on the walk back, a horror not even the solace of his bed can fend off. “one song”.

hwan doesn’t seem to long for any more. “aye aye captain”.

his nose scrunches, but he guesses it’s pretty funny.

   AUGUST  18  2021.   HANAGAE BEACH

kiro’s about one of the strangest guys yohan knows, which is the true surprise when considering his debut in meliora as a whole.

they’re all a bit strange, some members allowing for the peculiarities to shine, others instead keeping them restricted until they have to display such oddities for the sake of content. he’s aware that might be a rude thought, but he still holds love for them, eccentric characteristics and all.

and it’s not that kiro causes him to question his sanity, he has a good chunk of the others to condemn for that one, he’s not one of them.

he’s sweet, through the spontaneous peculiarities, he doesn’t make yohan want to rip individual hairs out of his scalp, he simply makes yohan feel indescribably beatific, it’s something about his smile that earns a responding smile. kiro makes yohan happy even with silence, that’s why he’s strange.

and this, for some inconceivable reason he can’t conjure, makes yohan happy, all because of kiro. standing on a beach to watch the sunrise simply causes warmth to encapsulate his heart, it’s cute.

yohan’s always been an early riser, he’s aware kiro’s practically identical to him in that field. comeback seasons been out forever, yet opening eyes at five in the morning to again face the monstrosity of this world is completely mundane, it’s always been mundane, established as its own feat of normalcy since the early teenage years.

when he sees kiro downstairs, hair already brushed and tying his shoes, he blinks;

“what’s going on here?”

he startles, yohan occasionally forgets the members are always so jumpy, he isn’t that frightening, he’s sweet!

“god hyung don’t do that! i didn’t even hear you coming down the stairs!”

it’s adorable, how he remains the slightest bit neurotic, korean stuttered as he stares him face to face. when they first met, kiro could probably only dream of such a prospect, yohan can still make out a fraction of timidity remaining, but in comparison to last year, they’ve improved.

“sorry” his tongue prods at the side of his cheek. “it’s so early, where are you heading?”

and yohan realizes he does sound a lot like hajoon at this moment. well, he can’t win everything.

embarrassment overtakes his features, it manifests in a red tint which is quick to make home on his cheeks, the tips of his ears rapidly reacting in a quicker succession, and listen, yohan is aware it’s the middle of summer, but the place is also extremely air conditioned, unless there’s some secret furnace he’s unaware of.

“i uh— um..”

take your time, he wants to mutter, afraid of being unable to convey that through his stare alone. yohan’s a patient man, and though time is precious, he finds that the comfort of the people in his life outweigh that prospect. “i usually go to the beach to watch the sunrise..”

yohan blinks, he’s unsure of how the answer appeared to slip by so rapidly, or maybe he should scrutinize himself for not allowing the endless possibilities which exist to spring to mind.

“the nearest beach is almost two hours away?”

“well i uh— i mean, i don’t mind just catching a taxi, even if they’re kinda expensive”.

he hums, observing for a moment before clicking his tongue. “do you mind if i join you?”

his reply is exhibited through the acute physical reaction which corresponds with the titular widening of his eyes, as if it’s a travesty having the company of another human being by his side.

that might not be the case, it may just be the idea of spending time with yohan which startles him, or perhaps it’s the question, the tone and weight of each singular word that makes regular inquiries appear so.. irregular.

“do you not want me to?”

“no, no you can come with i was just.. kinda surprised”.

so they do exactly that; continuously muttering on the way, even with the taxi ride stretching to just before the two hour mark, they happen to enjoy themselves much more than they assume.

“so is this a tradition of yours?” he inquires, eyes threatening to flutter closed from the sheer power of the sun, the rays stabbing at his eyes. his right eye twitches, but he doesn’t fret.

“yeah mostly, when i first came to korea this was one of my first visiting spots”.

a smile tugs at yohan’s lips. “that’s cute” he states, basking in the light breeze of the early morning, the rushing of the ocean filling his ears. “do you always come alone?”

kiro appears to attempt a shot at hiding, averting his gaze instantly. “no one wants to wake up early to watch the sunrise” he whispers.

there’s a singular tick before yohan speaks once more; “if you ever want to, you know i’m always up early”.

“aww, are you offering?” his undertone indicates pleasantry with a hint of genuine surprises, but yohan decides to not dwell.

“i mean— the beach is nice, would be good to get some fresh air..”

kiro laughs. “you need to make time for yourself, hyung, this is technically your break after all”.

“i am doing that” yohan is unsure of exactly why he decides to pose such an argument, tone too gentle to convey any truth. “i can just do that while also spending time with you”.

and he includes the nudge of his shoulder to sell his point, repeatedly blinking at the shine of the sun. “come on, let’s go eat breakfast”.

yohan usually doesn’t eat breakfast, but he supposes today is a special occasion.

“oh hyung, are you spoiling me?”

he can’t help his responding smile. “don’t get used to it”.

   NOVEMBER  29  2019.   HOTPOT RESTAURANT 

apparently it’s a good day for hajoon, and whilst yohan can only assume, it appears the answer for his elevated brightness is clear.

yohan remains the slightest bit weary, not because he’s rude, it’s quite the opposite, he exudes a level of consideration yohan doesn’t expect from a guy he’s technically competing with for a spot in a fresh new group.

their skill sets are much the opposite, but competition is competition, he’s aware he’s gonna debut either way, maybe that explains his natural talent for simple generosity.

and it’s not that yohan doesn’t like him, it’s simply everything else that makes him strange.

which is exactly why yohan agrees to a hotpot “date” as he calls it. he entered the cushioned trainee dorms at eight pm, completely vitalized despite the tenor extending exhaustion. he specifically sought out yohan for a reason which remains iffy, nothing of a sure reply given for the question.

but he guesses that should be the least of his concerns when food is free.

he tunes out for a moment, only snapped out of his daze once the younger begins a fit of complaints. “you’re always looking in front of you, what are you thinking about?”

he knocks as if the older’s head will emit a sound, amused by his responding irritation. yohan’s face scrunches, his fist winding up just for nothing to happen. “nothing..”

“it’s not nothing” yohan is rattled by his chewing, his nose scrunch selling that idea. the younger decides to ignore him, hands clasping together in a silent sound. “come on, i won’t bite, what’s bothering you?”

“nothing’s bothering me i just couldn’t focus”.

hajoon takes in a deep breath, somehow not having his tongue burnt from the sheer amount of food he’s scarfed down, it’s still steaming, yet he doesn’t falter in the slightest. “is it debuting?”

yohan falters, hajoon smiles, god he’s way too good at that. “what’s with the doubt? you’re clearly going to debut”.

at that statement, he earns an eyebrow raise. “clearly?”

“you’re everything the lineup needs, you’re pretty, you can sing, you can dance, you don’t talk too much, companies like that in trainees” he muses, fingers coming to brush his hair out of his face. “you’re just like hwanie”.

yohan finds the words baffling, but he doesn’t display that, simply furrows his eyebrows. “and what? you aren’t anxious about debuting?”

“it isn’t exactly my whole life, this group”.

yohan is jealous. he longs for such laxity, hajoon talks about it like it’s nothing, but yohan’s putting his whole life into this. how is he supposed to face his mom if he doesn’t get into the group? areum? hyeri? yisoo? he’s supposed to pass, he’s the sibling consistently fueled with determination, what would failing even be like? how could anybody be relaxed about such a thing?

or maybe yohan’s simply chiefed by his anxiety, perhaps that’s the reason.

“oh”.

sensing the sudden change of atmosphere, hajoon begins whistling, playing with his chopsticks. “after this, we should go shopping or something”.

yohan’s eyes narrow. “if we do that we’ll get back late”.

he pretends to contemplate, clearly aware of what he’ll say next. “you need to relax”.

yohan clicks his tongue. “didn’t realize you cared”.

the younger snickers, slapping his arm. “of course i do! we’re friends now aren’t we?”

friends, well that’s a strange word. yohan doesn’t realize they had a label for this, hajoon just appeared one day in the practice room and yohan never questioned it, he never questioned their relationship.

yohan realizes that he probably won’t get another opportunity like this with the next year hot on his tail, once the idol life sets in, there’s no longer free time.

he sighs. “fine”.

“great! it’s a date!”

that’s probably gonna be his thing, yohan realizes he doesn’t mind much.

   SEPTEMBER  3  2022.   STYLE ROOM

yohan finds the members’ muttering easy to fall asleep too, the stylists hands in his hair cushioning his falling head.

the heat emanating from the hair straightener is surprisingly comforting, and despite the shouting, he manages a good thirty minutes of slumber before a tap on his forehead disturbs him.

he’s awaken by yet another tap on his forehead followed by the shuffling of footsteps, when he finally does open his eyes, he belatedly misses the absence of the hairstylist’s presence, instead alerted by two muddled voices.

haneul and yaejoon are arguing over.. something, yohan doesn’t mind whatever they’re whispering about. however, he notices the appearance of taro, who awkwardly stands by, seemingly caught in the crossfire, the image causing a chuckle to push itself up his throat.

the two others continue their “intense” argument, taro turns his way with pleading eyes, silently requesting for the older to get him out of his current predicament.

“what did i do?” he whispers, arms flailing slightly as yaejoon lightly tugs his shoulder.

yohan decides to pout for him. he clears his throat, catching the attention of his two arguing members. “you guys wanna know something interesting?” he begins, “last week’s hotel had the best desserts so far”.

and just like that, they begin yet another debate, a calm one somehow, taro watches on in pure amazement. “how do you just do that?”

yohan shrugs. “i don’t know”.

and honestly? he doesn’t.

the two arguing don’t pay attention, but at least the pressure is off his shoulders. he takes a seat in the vacant chair beside the leader, yohan gazes on, observing the anxiety permeating from him immediately, the maknae flinching at nothing in the air. “you okay?”

he doesn’t answer verbally, simply nodding. yohan hums, unbelieving of it all. “come on, you can tell me what’s wrong”.

he still remains silent, yohan doesn’t mind that really, he’s simply aware of how terrible it is to bottle up things like this. “aren’t you excited to go home?”

at the mention of home, taro flinches, flinches in the manner of a cat flicked with water, accidentally dropped into a bathtub in a ruthless prank by their owner.

he’s skittish like that, yohan has observed, he’s got cute eyes and constantly fiddles with his bracelets when longing for something to do, once the anxiety settles in, he plays around with the knots of fabric pressing to his skin.

gosh, yohan adores taro.

“i’m not sure, yoiki is excited but knowing my parents they probably won’t come”.

yohan frowns for his sake, but the news appears normal for him, his undertone doing nothing of a change. he blanks at the information, not exactly unaware of such a thing, simply disheartened for the maknae.

“are they working?”

“it doesn’t matter if they are or not”.

yohan doesn’t meet the members’ parents often, it just so happens to not be that much of a need for him, the members all have their own issues relating to some parental figure, and if that isn’t the case, then it’s probably much worse, stuff he’d rather not get into with the rest of them because dealing with trauma like that does questionable things to people.

his mother appears to be nice enough, she’s simply a massive workaholic.

his mouth dries. “hey, don’t think about that, on a positive note, your sisters are coming, and..”

“and?”

“you have us” he motions his head in the direction of the two softly quarreling. “i’ve always wanted to try soba”.

now that earns a small smile, the pretty stretch resulting in warmth encapsulating yohan’s heart. taro glances downward at his nails, picking at the skin.

once yohan gently separates his nails from the skin, he earns a smile; “i know a few good places” he mumbles, shyly looking away.

yohan smiles. “great, we can go together”.

he blushes, flush with endearment and a hint of budding enthusiasm. “yeah i’d like that..”

he’s unsuccessfully attempting to hide a smile, and yohan has to stifle a flurry of coos.

he simply thinks taro may just be the cutest person ever.

   DECEMBER  23  2021.   MELIORA DORMS

yohan comes to a not-so startling conclusion, haneul drunk is nothing different from haneul sober.

he supposes affection is guaranteed with a guy of that manner, when yohan first met him, there happened to be a distinct fashion of the air. he appears to be fond of everyone, everything, elated by such mundane prospects of life as if it’s his first waking moment on earth.

it’s.. well, kind of cute, in a completely abnormal sense to yohan’s considerably sane mind. he’s never seen the guy without a smile, every waking moment the feat of ecstasy simply heightens, and it appears that extends to tossing back shot after shot.

his face is painted a baby pink, the only contrast being the bright red of his cheeks. it has no affect on his attitude, he’s woozy, one of the few unusual results of drinking to your heart’s content.

“one more!” and when he raises the shot glass, it disappears as swiftly as yohan swipes it out of his hands. he releases a very intelligible ‘hmph’ and gives his best attempt at getting it back, just barely able to control his own limbs. “hyung!” yohan grimaces at the immediate spike of volume. “you can’t withhold shots from me, it’s my birth month”.

what an excuse, the younger about falls off his chair, yohan having to act as damage control in a room full of his other wasted members.

but he unfortunately does not let up, instead wrapping his arms around the leader in an effort to keep him in his place, or maybe the alcohol setting in is just opening the door for a mountain of affection he did not ask for. he snuggles into his side, and yohan has to keep a sigh between his teeth.

“are you alright?”

“i’m tired” haneul mumbles, eyes fluttered shut as he totally, possibly unconsciously, squeezes around his waist, yohan clenching his teeth as his own silent reply.

yohan snorts. “what about the shots?”

he allows for the crack of an eye, then his glance wanders over to the dormant shot glass, lips taking a downward turn into a saddening frown. if yohan didn’t know any better, he’d presume that haneul was definitively disheartened by being unable to enjoy one last “drink”. it’s hilarious, in another universe, he’d be rewarded acting accolades.

“you were the one who stole them from me? you’re such a phony you know what right!?”

lord is he still whining? yohan pats his head in a questionable manner, as if haneul is his son or something, attempting to console him in his drunken stupor. “shh! you’re too loud..”

haneul yawns, pinch purposeful. yohan slaps the small of his back, earning the best glare haneul can give with such droopy eyes, a glower which results in probably one of his fairest laughs in a while.

“how about” he begins, unable to slip from the compression paired with his physical feat of endearment. “you go to sleep”.

“i want water” he immediately demands, yohan again allows a smack on his back, perturbed by the change of his tone in the fashion of an unaltered adult.

“okay fine, water”.

unfortunately, yohan underestimates how much he would sort of do for him, it’s just so the younger can stop hugging him so tight, he echoes in his mind.

but he’s probably lying to himself in that regard, the contracting embrace encapsulates solace he supposes he never knew existed for someone like him.

he could probably get used to it.

   OCTOBER  25  2021.   IOYS STUDIOS

“have you ever actually considered painting much more seriously?”

the significantly strange wavelength of what they can call their “relationship” is probably what sprouted such a question. rae often inquires, he’s curious about it all, maybe he was meant for the stars, when his pupils dilate in his typically questioning manner, yohan can’t help but observe how they resemble constellations he so dearly cherishes.

he used to be scared of yohan, in complete tandem with several of the members, yet his fear was deemed different by yohan’s subconscious. it took one physical clash in the practice room for him to run away and hide, it provided him with excellent laughing fodder for a mere moment, but afterward it was simply strange.

the reason they’re painting is technically all due to yohan in the first place, he muttered to him that it was an “early birthday gift”, except such a gift was hidden from the members because they’d easily chastise him for not resting during his break, hwan already did a good number on him.

“it’s just a hobby” he mumbles, tongue prodding at the side of his cheek as his glasses make a daring attempt to fall off his face, steadily sliding down his nose. “nothing serious..”

yohan realizes he must say that about many things, because byeol’s responding look is reminiscent of many he’s gotten throughout the years when musing about his unserious hobbies.

“you said that about singing too and..”

that earns a snicker, it’s true, but they can’t exactly be compared. yongrae takes yet another glimpse, as if trying to take a look into yohan’s mind. his attempts appear to be futile, and he turns his head back to his half done painting.

“well that was before i knew i would debut”.

“didn’t you always know?”

he likes to ask questions, and yohan enjoys answering questions, enjoys relaying more information to his members in a manner which heightens their intrigue. he’s unsure of why they’re always so curious about his life, he isn’t that interesting in hindsight.

“i mean.. you never know, remember when we thought iseul-ah was in the lineup? we got fooled”.

technically they didn’t, iseul was a fuse, somewhat of a breaking point for the company, yohan doesn’t try to talk to him now that they’ve debuted, he’s sure the other holds back some contempt, but not enough to block hajoon’s number, he’s sure they still talk.

they were a.. close pair he remembers.

he shrugs in reply. “i guess you always just seem to know, sometimes i think you’re a psychic, hyung”.

the way he describes things always irks yohan, but not in the usual sense. he’s invested in the manner of his verbal illustrations, he longs to hear more. “that’s funny”.

his wrist has begun to cramp, he finally sets down the paintbrushes and adjusts his glasses. there’s some scrawled across his shirt, shades of blue he doesn’t recall ever actually choosing, yet they permeate the canvas before him anyway.

“it’s pretty”.

“it’s not done” yohan isn’t a perfectionist, he simply wants for it to be done, the chemicals sneaking up his nose. “i don’t want us to stay out too late”.

“oh, do we have a curfew?” the younger inquires, raising an eyebrow and beginning to giggle at his own joke.

“well you need sleep”.

he snorts, opting to frown at the mere mention of sleep. “how can you say that with little sleep under your belt hyung?”

yohan gets chastised for it often, he finds such a prospect hilarious, consistently getting criticized by his own dongsaengs for his terrible sleeping habits— or, he supposes insomniac habits, he doesn’t sleep much, he supposes that’s why they always point it out.

“i’m just looking out for you”.

yohan wants to vomit, he’s unsure of why it’s taken him so long to verbally utter those words to any of his members, but he really does just want that. yes his members are strange, out there, loud, occasionally they irritate him beyond words, but he does care, he tries his best to verbalize that with actions the best he can.

“how about we just stay a bit longer, it’s not that late” he excuses, he’s correct, it’s only eight o’clock, crossing late territory won’t be evident until it’s at least nine. “you aren’t even done yet”.

yohan’s gaze softens, he guesses it won’t be that much of a problem. “sure”.

his birthday is coming up anyway, yohan will do everything he can for him.

   JUNE  16  2020.   MELIORA DORMS

“and why exactly are you doing this for me again?”

yohan doesn’t mean to exude such a tone, especially with someone older than him, but he supposes he’s much too used to it. chaiya doesn’t mind much, besides the occasional jab at the maknaes whenever they disrespect him as the eldest member, the act of formality is the furthest from his mind.

“you have an addiction” he merely states, and yohan scoffs.

“it’s a healthy addiction” as if that makes any sense, he probably sounds like a raging hypocrite, but that would be nothing new. “better than all the sugar you put into that shit”.

“don’t you swear at me” he points an accusatory finger, yohan’s eyebrow merely raises. “i’m older you know, just because you’re the leader doesn’t mean you have all the power”.

yohan narrows his eyes, longing to say a specific something. the eldest seems to understand despite the silence, because he smiles; “you better stay there, not letting you run away from trying something new”.

that appears to be a consistent theming with all of the members. since when did they all just think that? why do they consistently tell yohan the same thing? well.. the ones who’ll talk to him anyway.

they only debuted a month ago, half of them won’t speak to him and most of them seem terrified at his mere gaze, but they all look to understand the same thing.

yohan’s a control freak.

how funny, he just barely recognizes the inner workings of all their minds, but it’s like they all look at him and think the same thing.

yohan enjoys having things remain the same. what’s the point of trying a new thing that he may dislike when the current wavelength of his life is somewhat comforting to him already? he simply stares, blinking at the concoction the eldest is pouring sugar into. his nose crinkles.

“see? you always do that”.

“i like my coffee black” he voices clearly, but he’s not going to listen, why would he? he’s already doing all of this, at least he knows a good chunk of the members are as stubborn as he is.

“i know that” his tone appears gentle, as if yohan’s some sort of baby. he presumes chaiya would be a good teacher in another life, the thought almost earns a smile. “i just need opinions”.

from me of all people?

and yohan doesn’t think he’s.. mean per say, he just thinks that his opinion could possibly anger one. he’ll leave all the blatant insolence to junmin, there’s so much which could spill out, but he decides to actually have self control in contrast to the other.

chaiya again smiles. “i don’t mind if you don’t like it, that’s the point of opinions isn’t it?”

is this how people make friends now? yohan almost laughs, this is probably the best case scenario of such a thing. “besides, there are twelve other people living here, i need to draw actual conclusions”.

he’s simply so cheerful, and yohan finally does smile, a small one, but a smile nonetheless. “fine”.

“see? i knew you’d come around”.

yohan snorts. “don’t be so full of yourself”.

the words hold no truth, bear no genuine weight on the confidence of the eldest, yohan finds it pretty admirable.

he can just deal with it for now.

   AUGUST  10  2022.   OAKLAND  CA

yohan gets about twenty minutes of peace before his door is kicked down.

his eye cracks open, and he heavily sighs at the sight of a familiar headache. kang yaejoon just so happens to be full of energy, a consistent noise yohan begged to not bother him.

“oh fuck this”.

“don’t swear hyung”.

and suddenly, the younger flops on top of him, possibly breaking all of his bones in a singular movement. yohan grunts, but the other doesn’t let up, instead makes himself comfortable crushing him. “is this a guarantee?” he’s somehow able to let the words escape him, glancing up at the younger who appears contended by it all.

“this is how i show my love for you!”

“by trying to kill me?”

yohan is so fucking tired, maybe he shouldn’t have fought to be placed into a group with twelve other guys, his head falls forward and he takes a deep breath into his pillow. he hears the younger snicker, completely overjoyed at the prospect of the older’s misery. “hey, sometimes it works”.

“yeah sometimes”.

“don’t be so mad, hyung, i always knew i was one of your favorites”.

yohan doesn’t even attempt to refute such a claim, he instead decides to make himself comfortable with the situation in the best manner possible, head remaining rested on his pillow. yaejoon mumbles something that he doesn’t try to decode, eyes begging to flutter closed.

he’s disturbed by a whisper; “hyung”.

“yes?” he yawns, eyes now closed.

“am i really your favorite?”

he cracks one eye open, hoping to convey his feat of chagrin with just a singular movement of one eye. “is that what you’re most concerned about?”

“yes”.

“let me sleep”.

“it’s only nine pm!”

yohan typically doesn’t sleep early, but the tour has practically wiped him out, sleeping early is the only thing he can do in order to ensure he doesn’t pass out on stage.

he grabs onto the younger, instead pulling him into an embrace, one leg thrown over the other. “shh, quiet now, i need my beauty sleep”.

yaejoon stares, yohan can feel it despite the fact that his own are closed. “wow, you wanna lay with me? always knew you had a crush on me”.

“shut up”.

“alright hyung”.

he may talk his ear off the whole entire night, but yohan decides that such a prospect might just be the slightest bit comforting, even if irritating.

   AUGUST  6  2022.   LOS ANGELES  CA

the longer yohan spends time with him, he realizes there are many similarities between him and kristian.

it goes past the amount of siblings they have, their equal adoration of cats, unhealthily taking in much caffeine, being much introverted, often on the side when the groups arguing.

he really didn’t recognize how much the younger is basically him in a skewed font, glares and all.

los angeles is the first stop on every american tour, yohan didn’t mean to study it, he’s just always around once the staff begin muttering about future plans, barely alerted by his presence due to his silence. that’s where kristian was born, he doesn’t often talk about it, not even to jaehwan, who he practically talks about everything to.

yohan’s only aware of one thing, a thing he’s aware of once it comes to most of the members; he’s got a complicated relationship with his parents.

not the first time with a member in this group, he makes occasional passing comments about how they’re probably crazy, doesn’t go much further than that.

he’s clearly been weary of coming home, in a fashion that’s typically uncharacteristic of him, his usually tranquil manner disturbed for possibly the first time since yohan’s met him.

and now he’s grabbing his jacket, heading out.. somewhere.

“where are you going?”

he produces the closest thing to a ‘hmph’, scoffing at the prospect of nothing. “my parents called for a reunion dinner because they heard i’m here”.

yohan blinks, studying the younger for a while. he doesn’t care what the members do after hours, he’s simply concerned about what reunion dinner entails. “and you’re really going?”

the younger shrugs, even with disquietude coloring his features, he wants to appear completely unscathed by such news. yohan again narrows his eyebrows, it’s easy to spot such a facade when you’ve had one up so many times yourself. “my siblings will be there anyway”.

“but your parents..”

he doesn’t finish.

kristian simply stares, attempting to look unbothered despite the clear lack of satisfaction emanating from him in all. yohan yearns to give him a hug, for some unusual reason, he wants to tell him everything is going to be okay, which makes no sense because the younger seems to despise hugs if they aren’t from his favorite person.

he pushes down such thoughts. “doesn’t matter, i’ve dealt with them before”.

you shouldn’t have to.

yohan really does care, he feels like hajoon, constantly babying the members even if they can reasonably afford to take care of themselves. with the way the younger stares, he can practically tell what yohan is thinking.

“don’t you think you should stay?”

yohan is really trying.

he tilts his head. “do you want my company or something?”

“no.. i’m just worried about what might happen”.

“well if i don’t come back then you’ll know they killed me”.

yohan deadpans, but the slightest snicker leaves him. that was pretty funny.

“if you need me to come pick you up i will”.

“you’re too sweet”.

it isn’t said like an insult, not in the manner it usually is, that makes yohan the slightest bit glad. “don’t get sappy”.

“i was saving it just for you”.

yohan scoffs, but there is nothing genuine behind it.

   APRIL  30  2022.   DOWNTOWN SEOUL

yohan never thought he was anybody’s favorite member, mainly because he’s always perceived himself as pretty unapproachable,

but it appears jaehwan enjoys differing with him even when he doesn’t specifically utter it.

and how he drew an impatient blabbermouth to his side will always perturb yohan, he seems to attract a completely contrasting crowd, which includes over half of the meliora members. jaehwan woke up early for possibly the first time ever (despite his day typically ending at nine pm, he’s always out untimely) and dragged a groggy yohan out of the house. the taste of toothpaste still fresh on his tongue, he barely had time to adjust.

“what’s the point of this exactly?” the younger appears elated by the sight of displayed baked treats. he’s always so happy, joy caused by even the slightest of things.

jaehwan continues bouncing up and down as he seemingly contemplates on what to get. “i just wanted to go out, you know you’re my favorite right?”

yohan is unsure if his heart should swell at such a fact. “oh? i thought it was kyuhyunie”.

it technically is, no matter how much it changes, jaehwan will always have a specifically special place in his heart for ahn kyuhyun mostly. yohan doesn’t mind, it’s not much of a pressing matter.

jaehwan frowns, feigned offense in the stretch of that downward turn. “things can change”.

well they usually don’t.

“do you want macarons?”

at the question, jaehwan plays at thought, though his choice appears completely avowed, yohan still squints his eyes anyway. well, he could probably pass that over with the reason that he left his glasses at home, what would jaehwan know?

the younger smiles, bright, all teeth present in the frankly pretty grin. “absolutely, do you not want macarons?”

he shrugs. “i don’t know..”

they do end up getting macarons, several flavors available yet all of them tasting the same to yohan. maybe he doesn’t allow for too much focus, perhaps he should’ve allowed the specific tastes to linger on his tongue, then he would’ve enjoyed them much more than it appeared.

jaehwan drags yohan by hand around downtown seoul for the filler of the day they have time, comeback preparations begin soon and it seems he just wanted to spend time with his “favorite person” (his words, not yohan’s, though the consistent smiles he earns are invigorating enough that he has no rebuttal), something of a mystery to yohan.

“how do you plan to afford this?”

“you mean how do we?”

yohan’s eyes narrow, his vision somewhat blurry as he eyes the miniature figures jaehwan appears so entranced by. they pose nothing of a interest to him, not in the manner they clearly do to jaehwan, but he keeps his mouth shut.

“i don’t want any of this”.

okay, not shut for long enough.

jaehwan pouts, is he really sad? that’s ironic.

“can’t you do me this favor?”

his eyebrows pinch together, is he serious? yohan about laughs at such a thing. “i got you macarons”.

“macarons cost nothing!”

“so why didn’t you get them yourself!?”

he opts to not answer that question, instead taking ahold of yohan’s arm and lurching him forward, out of the titular store.

his feet may have begun to swell, he’s unsure.

he doesn’t exactly long for home, a certain someone just so happens to be weighing in on his conscience, he surmises that going out is better than facing a member who causes his eye to twitch erratically, even if leftover mushy feelings remain constant.

“this sugar intake is unhealthy” yohan ironically bites into an abnormally large chocolate bar as he inquires on such a thing.

“you need it after all, you don’t eat any sugar!”

“i do, healthily”.

jaehwan snorts. “healthy is a fake word, nothing’s healthy at the moment”.

“how deep”.

“i’m being serious” he earns a mere shoulder nudge as his response. he narrows his eyes, vision obscured with the lack of his glasses present. “don’t fight, okay? i don’t want you two to be mad at each other..”

and maybe, for a specific purpose, he’s allowing for the words to escape from the sheer kindness of his heart.

“i’ll try”.

by try, he means he might just have to bottle it all up again, maybe avoid him consistently in the fashion he has since after chuseok, but it technically would be trying.

“no more avoiding him either”.

damnit.

well, yohan can’t do anything else now.

   SEPTEMBER  9  2022.   SCOTIABANK ARENA

they’re about two hours into rehearsal, the complaining begins as soon as the threshold is crossed.

haneul exceedingly whines about the heat, then suddenly jaehwan is endlessly complaining, chaiya is attempting to stare into the sun and yaejoon wants water.

yohan is aware in these kinds of situations he’s supposed to sport a whole responsible leader attitude about the whole thing, but he can’t find the air to care, a hand combing through his hair and lethargy sinking him to the ground.

“let’s take a break now!”

well yohan’s glad he didn’t have to utter it.

he grabs a spot in one of the corners, eyes closed as he allows for his head to comfortably snuggle against the nearby stage equipment. it’s possibly dangerous, though that happens to exist on a further plane of his mind.

he gets distracted when he feels the irking sensation of a presence beside him, a presence which has his eyes narrowing despite them being fluttered shut.

now yohan is unsure of much regarding canada and its specific climate, he doesn’t have enough time to delve into that one, however, the heat typically dissipates around early september, that is not the current wavelength of the weather.

when he cracks open one eye, he’s met with kyuhyun attempting to keep himself awake despite his head begging to be let down so he can doze off. yohan’s perceived his unusual bout of weariness these days, not that every member is not extremely tired over the soul sucking mindscape of a tour, but energy 24/7 kyuhyun suddenly becoming not so talkative should begin ringing alarm bells.

“you need to sleep”.

and yohan supposes he’ll just always be a raging hypocrite, sleep just so happens to be his worst enemy in the world.

kyuhyun turns his way, a seething exhaustion gleaming in his pupils. yohan blinks, he so yearns to give him a hug, he just.. he just looks like he needs one, looks soft, probably feels soft too.

“ouch, do i look that bad?”

yohan chuckles, poking his cheek as his lips take a downturn. “you look like you could use better time”.

kyuhyun scoots closer and makes his head comfortable on his shoulder. yohan longs to question the wavelength of his actions, but he opts for silence as a response. typically, kyuhyun could not resist blabbering, extroverted tendencies carried throughout no matter what.

today appears to display a couple of differences.

“maybe you should stack up on the caffeine” yohan sports, amusement elevating his words.

kyuhyun offers a snort, though deflated. “ki would kill me, you know, i used to be crazy for iced coffee, she’s practically keeping me alive”.

“an energy drink once in a while isn’t terrible”.

“you can’t talk hyung” he rebuts, not scathing, tone much too gentle for the perceived insult seemingly delivered. “your blood may as well be replaced with caffeine”.

“it has some good effects”.

“sounds like something an addict says” kyuhyun unconvincingly laced their hands together, a figurative embrace that surges warmth despite the hoisted heat in the surrounding air. “kiarra would faint”.

yohan furrows his eyebrows, somewhat offended by the certain insult. “well if you attempt it in a healthy manner, it won’t be as bad”.

kyuhyun sighs heavily, supposedly on the brink of dozing off, yohan guesses no energy drinks shall be bestowed upon him, he may as well just fall asleep before they can finish rehearsals.

yohan pokes him again. “go sleep, you’ll be able to catch up tomorrow”.

kyuhyun scoffs, clearly attempting to rebut that claim, unfortunately, yohan’s much more stubborn than he is.

“go”.

“okay!”

kyuhyun’s nose scrunches, but it’s clear he needed that either way.

   SEPTEMBER  21  2021.   GWANGJU  SK

junmin somehow agrees to celebrate chuseok with yohan’s family and he basically has a mini heart attack at the fact.

he suggested such a thing for a blatant reason, he really really knew the extent of junmin’s parents behavior. yejin is constantly at the forefront of his mind, she’s just a kid, barely recognizes the reality of her situation and much too young to even attempt a shot at independence.

he isn’t exactly sure of why he so wanted to, he wasn’t aware the other members had plans. haneul definitely would’ve invited him, hajoon as well, shit, maybe even rae if he wasn’t holding fear back from clashes in the practice room. he took that as a challenge, it wasn’t one, who was he even competing with? himself? his sane mind that tells him to not continuously do this to himself?

when he inquired about it to junmin, the younger just stared. they had been.. well, what they were was complicated at the time. there was no semblance of bad blood, not any that yohan is aware of, he so wishes he could read junmin’s mind, he embroils things in confusion, yet yohan yearns for his presence no matter what.

“you could bring yejin too” he recalled saying, striving to appear mundane enough. “i know you want to”.

well yohan doesn’t know enough about what exactly junmin wants.

god he hates him.

actually, he doesn’t.

he presented a good enough smile. “sure”.

sure, yohan held solace in that one singular word for the week coming up to going home. he never forgets anything, but the mere idea of having to disclose such information to areum and hyeri kills him for the duration, his own head pounds at that.

oh, you’re bringing your boyfriend back home?

not my boyfriend.

she taunts him about it even with the most silent of mutters.

thankfully, possibly because the world decided to hand yohan a single favor for once in his untouched fucking life, his siblings are much too caught up with pampering the house’s newest baby to observe yohan’s impending impatience.

junmin easily slides into the cracks with such perfection yohan wants to die. he’s good at listening and he has a nice smile, yohan’s parents adore him at first glance, yisoo allows for his thumb to continuously point backward; you’ve hit the jackpot!

yohan hasn’t hit the jackpot, he would never call himself a coward, he isn’t, he really isn’t, on most occasions he would simply face a trouble like this head on instead of displaying a terribly manufactured facade.

“don’t get your feelings hurt, han”.

hyeri always says this without any additional context, but yohan isn’t in need for a situation like this. his nose crinkles, and she crushes a dormant cigarette under the heel of her boot. he presumed she quit, he guesses she lied about that fact to mom.

“i won’t”.

who is he kidding?

she does that invasive stare thing, her eyes narrow in complete judgement, she could never be ambiguous, nothing of dubiousness when it’s all scrawled over her features 24/7. yohan constantly feels surveilled under her gaze, when she finally calms the eyebrow raise, she sucks her teeth, teeth drawing blood from where they sink into her bottom lip. “i’m sure your members would believe that one”.

he opts to leave that one unanswered.

junmin doesn’t bring anything up, and yohan’s grateful he remains silent because dad and mom would probably freak if they found out what he was doing behind the scenes. he loves them, but they retain too much of that worry they constantly weighed down on him during his childhood.

“you’re making fun of me”.

“i’m not”.

“you are” yohan clears his throat, chin tilted up in a stubborn display of.. something. “i didn’t decorate my childhood bedroom, you know”.

junmin frowns, cracking his knuckles in his typical i just need something to do fashion. “the color scheme is simply funny, and you used to be so cute!”

yohan guesses he likes it sometimes, enjoys the fact that junmin has that somewhat exuberant switch whenever he’s with him alone. it’s such a selfish thought, yohan surmises he’s probably a pretty selfish person when it comes to the current circumstances.

he doesn’t mean to be, he simply can’t help it.

“could you not? those photos are essential for keeping memories alive!”

and then they bicker, it’s always the same between them, yohan finds comfort in that.

it all went fine, yejin is an absolute angel, areum wants to keep her around forever, she formed a strong ass attachment in just seven hours, yohan’s sure she’ll sign adoption papers straight away.

“he should come around next year too” his mother whispers once most are out of view. yohan pauses, blinking, throat drying up in an aberrant manner, he winces, accidentally turning the water much too high, he might’ve just burned his own hand unconsciously washing the dishes. “i like them both, they’re the sweetest”.

yohan might as well just die.

“i mean—” he swears at himself, how do you disagree with your own mother? “i can see if he wants to again..”

then it’s over, areum has to begrudgingly let yejin go and hyeri continues giving him that look. yohan isn’t leaving just yet, technically, he has a sure fire break until the company decides to shove him back on stage, mental wellbeing better or not.

“think they just found their new favorite” areum made yejin a gift, hair tied into twin braids and decorated with bows. she’s adorable, yohan is aware of how the easy devotion formed.

“she’s gonna want an invite next year”.

yohan frowns, playful, nothing real. “you don’t sound glad”.

junmin shakes his head. “no no your siblings are nice”. he looks down at the floor, hands clasped with his sisters. “i guess i wouldn’t mind”.

yohan wants to jump at the fact, that’s pretty pathetic of me.

“could you call me when you get off the train?”

and listen, yohan’s always been a little self destructive, he’s going to get hurt in the future, maybe he’ll cry, bite off his nails in anxiety, hate himself,

but it feels so good now, he’s afraid he can’t help it.

“of course, that’s no problem”.

[paramountie]

kang yohan/kim gaon's reaction to the other one trying to kill them: omg are you sure about this babe? like obviously go ahead if you are sure, just wanted to double check ily

[thequeenofterror]

hi hi everyone! formally announcing that song sunyoung's fc is now miss im jinah ♔ while i adore park jiyeon, she's not as active in the industry anymore and i'm limited on what i can use for 2024 visuals and such. having nana as a fc gives me a lot more room to play with while also keeping that foxy eyed nature to the muse! aside from obvious physical traits, the only other difference to note is that now sunyoung's fashion style will feature a more prominent influence of preppy/sporty looks. other than that, everything is the same! i'll also use this opportunity to list down some wanted connections/plots! now that i've had the chance to plot with most of you amazing people, i have a better idea of my muse and what i'd like to write for her. below the cut you'll find timelines for both parts of the event, as well as some general non-event related plots i'd love to get to! tysm for being incredible all of you btw i'm in love with every single muse and having so much fun!!!!!! ily all ♡♡♡♡♡

𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔 —

02:00 PM — arrival at the midas resort 02:00 - 09:00 PM — open for plots ! 09:00 - 10:00 PM — banter with han wonbin after yoojin's announcement 10:00 PM onwards argument with jin yohan on the way to the lake

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 —

05:40 PM — arrival at the mansion 05:40 - 07:00 PM — open for plots ! 07:00 - 07:15 PM — argument with zhang xiaotian by the pool 07:15 - 07:30 PM — moment with kim seunghan in the library 07:30 PM onwards — banter with lee sowon over dinner

𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 —

family connections — sunyoung has two younger brothers that i'd love to use as a way to tie families together! the middle one was born in 1995 and hates sunyoung with a fiery passion, works for the immigration policy division and was never recruited to the club; the youngest one was born in 2002, looks up to sunyoung and is a 2024 chessmaster looking to be a civil court judge one day. perhaps your muse has relatives that would be dating/married to one of them, or got entangled with them at work in any way?

perpetrator — during her initiation days in 2013, sunyoung was quick to form alliances with a couple chessmasters and create a divide in the group. as a result, during a trial, a "rival" chessmaster caused an "accident" that resulted in a hand injury for her and set her off on her path of revenge and general bitchdom. would love to have someone take up this role!

human rights — sunyoung has always been an activist for human rights (funny, i know), and she was elected president of the snu human rights committee three years in a row, 2014-2016. throughout the undergrad program she would organize surveys, affirmative actions and projects to discuss and mitigate discrimination and sexism in the university. i would love to have some fellow students helping her champion the cause - or on the other hand, they can find her activism shallow and bothersome!

paganini who? — sunyoung plays the violin and loves classical music. it would be an adorable meet-cute of sorts if your muse walks in on her practicing one day as it's a rare opportunity to witness her softer side! (yes it does exist, shocking!)

favors — sunyoung knows everyone and plays 4d chess with herself to try and place people in positions that will boost her own power in the club and beyond. as a result, she can make almost anything happen for you by talking to a guy who knows another guy - but for a price, of course.

more favors? — it's also very possible that sunyoung one day overplayed her hand and failed miserably, and now she needs to run to your muse for help. she'll owe you big time and hate every second of it, but she won't let a debt go unpaid.

[fr-wiwiw]

I miss talking about Gahan. so imma just ramble here instead.

i've been thinking again about who would say I love you first between them. The first time I know Gahan, it's an automatic to think "oh this lovely bratty twink would be the one to say those 3 words first". But then the more i dive into their characters, it would make more sense if Yohan is the one to say those words first.

Here's why, according to me, also warning this is gonna be long:

Yohan never heard those words spoken genuinely to or for him. Perhaps the ones who say it to him would be Isaac (of course), his wife (Cecilia is her canon name for me 😂), and little Elijah. What child wouldn't say I love you or I like you to their favorite person. While on the other hand, Yohan has the most experience in tragic relationships (romantic or platonic or with himself) in regards to feelings. That's why he's the sociopath we all know and love and thirst for. That's why he has a stark and clear difference between genuine ILY or not. He will rarely or perhaps never say those words to anyone unworthy of his true feelings. Elijah will of course have the VIP pass despite their relationship straying away bcs of the things Yohan does to protect his child (yes, Elijah is pretty much his niece & child, you can't take that away from me). His act of service for Elijah speaks greatly how much he loves her, he literally has done and will do everything in his power to protect her or his loved ones (that includes ridiculously pretty and hot headed Bambi that almost stabbed him with tears in those doe eyes).

Now, Gaon I'm sure grew up in a very loving family. He had healthy relationships with his friends and family too I'm sure, before fate decides to take his family and his sanity away from his life. Thankfully he has Soohyun, —no matter how much hatred we have for her, let's be real Gaon survived his days bcs of her too— both he and Yohan are big empathetic too hence why they do what they do albeit unhealthy & reckless most of the times. Remember Gaon also has a lot of fear to control him, the opposite of Yohan who reigns his fear wonderfully that's why people believe in him to do great things, and he does! He's unbeatable and always comes back on top if he's defeated. There's a reason Gaon turns to him too to do dirty things despite his disliking towards this particular decision of Yohan. There's a reason why Yohan is a beacon of light burn so bright and blinding whilst Gaon is the gentle light of hope. But again, Gaon is controlled by fear. He might and possibly fall in love first unknowingly towards Yohan once he does realize it, his first instinct is to hide it ESPECIALLY from Yohan. Why? His empathy is working towards guilt and fear. Now I won't dive into the guilt, it would be hard admittedly, bcs the guilt and fear is woven tightly together, but Gaon knows and is able to connect the dots Yohan doesn't have healthy & great childhood experiences. We know Gaon is great with strays, strays love him, they gravitate close to him. You know why else something or some people might gravitate towards an individual? They either resonate the same bad energy or they resonate positive energy. And what is Gaon? A broken stray with a warm heart. He's in-between. That's why he's confused. That's why Soohyun protects him, so protectively it becomes suffocating in a different way than Yohan's. How many people have approached him with good intentions, wanting to protect him but also ruin him at the same time? He doesn't know this. But he is besties with fear. The traumas he went through is not something a soft hearted person can overcome in a short amount of time. Yohan is built different, as we are all aware. The areas that makes Gaon weak and tumbles are the areas where Yohan will thrive and become much stronger.

So does the opposite thing. If softness and vulnerability makes Gaon strong, it will be Yohan's downfall. The proof is crystal clear the moment he realizes Gaon is his liability the first few episodes.

To me, all this is because they're not familiar with the unfamiliar emotions. Yohan with vulnerability and Gaon with reality. But both roots in the same topic, pain.

I'm sure Yohan has his fair share of vulnerable moments he's aware of but I think he never really has time to sit to mull over and accept it within safe space or reasonable time, he's always racing against time, therefore very little window of chance for him to actually be friends with his vulnerability. It's more like something he needs to protect behind his back while not noticing the innerchild he protects is bleeding behind him. The intention is good but it's not the best way.

Gaon on the other hand. His people pleasing trait is what drives him forward yet at the same time, he forgot that giving yourself too much to people will only hurt him just as much. The amount you give yourself to others is how much pain you will get. He recoils everytime this happens, giving mixed signals to people involved. His father figure (i forgot the bastard's name) experienced this. Gaon is supposed to be an enemy to Yohan but then when he's given the reality he thinks is the truth, he turns his back to the professor and into the sugar daddy's lap willingly (with manipulation involved from Yohan ngl who am I joking).

Now I just remember the professor's name, Min Jungho, you bastard of a skinny leech, kudos to the actor to make me feel angry.

Anyway— See Gaon is familiar with bad things that come with truth in reality. He's skeptical of his own reality while sprinkles positive truths to other's reality. He's so positive about Yohan, the Kang-abyss-Yohan. He even stood up for Yohan, quite literally, when Soohyun and Min Jungho said bad (facts) things about our resident devilish handsome gremlin. Even he defended Yohan when Elijah is so negative to her uncle (dad). There's few times I'm aware where Gaon is positive about his life, his future, that also is accompanied with anxiety in his part. The moment he does embrace what he think as positive, such as kissing Soohyun (sigh), she died.. in his arms no less.

This is why, it makes sense to me if Gaon locks his confession and swallows it down. Even tho his actions speak much, much louder. To me, Yohan would have the biggest probability to confess his feelings first (should the time & conditions align) and if his ego doesn't get in the way. It would help Gaon to open up, albeit with denial at first and Yohan would still be patient with this clumsy Bambi.

This, admittedly is the simple version, imo, of their miscommunication and suppressed feelings. I will tell you, these things I just wrote don't involve much of any variant of things that can make them go sideways or upside down. Such as, if they're faced with a certain problem, will my analysis stay true? What if they're in an alternate universe? Surely somethings will change and certain things will stay, but what? What if Gaon decides to be brave (or stupid and never learn) and confess anyway? What if, it will always lead to "disaster" the moment he's brave enough to take action? Or what if he decides to be brave, in means to throw his feeling away and not look back anymore yet Yohan reciprocates? Will he still be in denial or would he embrace it gladly albeit with fear when the other shoe is gonna drop? When will Yohan die? "Yohan is going to die the moment I confess, idk when, but I want to have a chance with him no matter how little time we have. I don't care anymore". Would he thought of that?

There's a lot of probability that can happen if I take out my feelings from these characters we all love dearly. Hence why we have fanfiction at our disposal for writers, artists, creators, readers, to enjoy whichever alternate or canon we can consume to satisfy our hunger. We need more domestic shit and porn of them if I may be bold— ahem. I am an artist who can draw these but I'm also an enjoyer, feed me pls I beg you. Give me more fuel, I'm greedy for them 🥲 The joy and pain being in a small community hahahah I love it all the same. I love all your edits, your analysis, the gifs, the fanfics, the drabbles, the delulu posts, everything!

I think this is one of the reasons why @amethystina story, Who Holds The Devil, is such a delicious treat for me. In some parts, most parts so far, her portrayals of Gahan's characteristics are similar to what I have in mind. And it's wonderful to see the different perspectives too from her take on their characters, it gives me more insight and more "out of my mind plot". I'm glad either way.

I have a few fanfic wips stored in my phone, 1 of them has this specific scenario where Yohan would be the one who's gonna confess first. And of course I'm making them explore their sexual experiences like a teenager and a deranged man. The perks of me never experienced any of those sexual things myself is that I can fantasize all I want and not get disappointed (yet, hopefully not) by reality lmao. TMI, my apologies.

Will these fics ever go into the light? I hope so, I just haven't invested my time into writing again as I've been investing them into my main hobby & job as an artist. I hope I can go back writing again when I'm able to set separate time for it. I want to share you some hot sexy and angsty love with this GaHan ship. There's always gonna be smut and giggling delivered by me to your screen if not tears and heartbreak like my previous Gahan break up fic ehe.

But anyway, I will stop my rambles here as I have to go back into my art commission. I need to proceed with the sketch revision before I dive into playing Monster Hunter World again

As always, thankyou if the lot of you are reading all this. If not have a great day anyways! 💖

[thedeviljudges]

Saw your tweet abt Gaon sucking the soul out of Yohan and I strongly agree. Gaon is dedicated to giving Yohan the most toe-curling eye-rolling thigh-shaking jaw-slacking drool-down-the-chin head. The most earth-shattering house-shaking wallpaper-pealing suck Yohan will ever experience in his lifetime.

*Gaon voice*: suck him silly ? Oh, no. No. It is SERIOUS business to me

lmaooooo anon ily this ask is hilarious and accurate!!!! im dying this is SO funny.

yohan's determined to be no. 1 in. like everything but gaon??? is gonna show yohan up esp in the bedroom.

yohan's braincells? just took a vv nice vacation. like mind numb, just stare at the ceiling trying to figure out who he is and gaon's the cat that literally got some cream.

[uhhhhmanda]

not a question just pouring you some love bcs SWEETIE I JUST READ INFLUENCE AND MY BRAIN GO BRRR

so sexy istg i also fucking love that gaon calls yohan hyungnim, my absolute kink with hyung / hyungnim. and yohan rubbing on the barely covered plump 🍑?? ily

AAAAAAAA I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!

It is CRIMINAL how few shots in TDJ show off Jinyoung's booty but Pinterest detected my new hyperfixation within 5 seconds of my entering the fandom and mine eyes were opened to the glory that is Korea's finest peach. I knew Yohan would appreciate it, too.

When 'hyungnim' occured to me I just about killed myself and both my dogs in my sprint to the laptop.

[breitweisergallery]

Alright bitch, since you sent me so many questions...time to return the favor: 1, 3, 5, 10, 12, 15, 18, 21, 25, 27, 28, 35, 36, 44, 72

HAHAHAH ily <3

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

It depends project to project, but I do tend to talk them out to myself at night. Staring up at the ceiling two feet from my face, usually in some kind of accent, until I can piece together what exactly I want out of it.

3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

Most of the time, I actually keep them to myself. The bigger projects I tend to share, just so I have someone other than myself to talk it out with.

5. How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

10 currently! 6 of them are Critical Role (4 Essek/Caleb, 1 Lucien/Caleb, 1 Kingsley/Verin), 3 Devil Judge that will probably never see the light of day (1 Gaon/Yohan, 1 Yohan/Isaac, 1 Elijah-centic), 1 Strangers From Hell (implied Jongwoo/Moonjo but Moonjo-centric)

10. Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

I've been leaning more recently towards sticking to one fic at a time. But if I have a particularly hard time with one (like I am right now), I might take a break to work on something else.

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

Uh.

All jokes aside, I actually don't outline most of the time. I'm trying to get better about it for longer fics.

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

Early evening! Between 4-7p is really my primetime for writing. (Or morning, between 9a-11a also works pretty well for me. I just get sleepy mid-day).

18. Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

Yes!! I love research. One of the projects I'm currently working on, I've done some intense research into prisoners of war and internment/concentration camps. There was also a TDJ politics fic that never came to be where I dig some pretty extensive digging into the Korean political system.

21. Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

One-shots! I prefer writing one-shots.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Editing! I fucking love editing. I tend to take it to the extreme, not gonna lie, but it's so much fun to edit and revise.

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Dialogue is absolutely my strongest skill.

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

Realistic and intentional world-building.

35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

restless constructions (don't leave me)

36. What fic are you proudest of?

voices stolen and people borrowed

44. What is your favorite genre to write?

Slice of Life/Thriller/Adventure. In other words, something angsty but fun.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

(courtesy of @crying-cryptids)

Fanfiction Writing Asks | Send Me Asks

[tqmies]

you could do one inspired by monster ngl i can see jay being yohan and heeseung or doyoung being tenma lol would be fun or fruits basket damn i am going back to the shoujo genre

i hope you have a good day too and take care<3

🌴

OMG MONSTER, I LOVE THAT SHOWWWWW!!! but your brain now has me on a little mystery anime au? OMG MY BRAIN HAS BEEN OPENED. ily sm sm <3

[mrprogr]

ProgrIndaHouse · The Drums · Ilias Katelanos Remix · Yohan Esprada · Ili...

[wichois]

"Deixa acontecer naturalmente ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Eu não quero ver você chorar ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ Deixa que o amor encontre a gente ⠀⠀⠀⠀ Nosso caso vai eternizar"

Happy Birthday @d-0yum <3

[m3loria]

˖﹙ 📀 ﹚ FURIKO NO YAGI.

WHERE infighting makes three come to terms with their circumstances (or just coping for homesickness).

˖ FEATURING. maknaez (jh, kr, ky), meliora ensemble. ˖ TIMESTAMP. FEB' 21, pre–moira era. ˖ WARNINGS. swearing, mentions of injuries. ˖ WORD COUNT. 2.5k ˖ NOTES. heyyy, what's up.. i'm back.. with writing of course, what an isa thing to do, pretty short but it was either this or junhan fwb infodump which seems a little too heavy for a first work so have maknae line silliness with references to future events 😇!! also pre-relationship cuteness, take a shot every time taro calls jian's smile pretty (you may experience alcohol poisoning if you attempt such a thing), its almost bedtime, ily jj 💗

“it’s cold”.

“it’s cause you’re a summer baby, you’re weak”.

the effervescent exchange of insults would be alarming if not completely mundane, kiyo is beginning to think it’s their love language (though ‘love’ is a word of repulsion in kristian’s eyes, if it has anything to do with jaehwan, he would best say their relationship is barely tip toeing the lines of genuine hatred). he didn’t mean to tag along, but he was also completely anxious about being left alone with the other hyung’s, he knows they mostly mean well, they simply intimidate him no matter how they stare.

such worries should be considered idiotic by the time you’ve already lived with twelve other people for about eleven months, he still has that sinking inkling that they might cuss him out, suddenly turn against him and begin a synchronized fit of bullying.

still, he prefers freezing outside in comparison to what is going on back at the dorms, the company of his two bickering members acting as solace for a while.

“he’s a weakling, isn’t he yoki?”

it’s stunning how the others seemed to adapt to the nickname. he guesses the fact is regular, but the slight unease remains, even with the warmth of kristian’s arm coming around to land on his shoulder. “it is pretty cold”.

his scoff contains a similar feat of disdain, yet simply a bit toned down. jaehwan’s expression twists into a grimace, and he sticks out his tongue at the elder 04 liner. “weaklings, both of you”.

kiyo may just chalk it up to his imagination, but he notices the softening of his gaze in just the slightest, nothing of how he stares at jaehwan.

he might just be crazy though.

“says the person who grew up in california”.

“at least i actually prepare for cold temperatures, how do you complain about it being cold in february?”

“don’t yell at me, you’re such an asshole”.

really, kiyo is astonished at the figment of a relationship even being there, he probably couldn’t get through being insulted by a member without even tearing up, something of diffidence overtaking him as he thinks about his own sensitivity. he shoves his hands into his pockets, teeth scraping his inner cheeks. “why are we out here again?”

despite the whispers of the older members alluding to a nasty argument, he actually isn’t sure what happened, he just knows the others are put off. really, he followed along because he was afraid of being left alone. “we’re escaping yohan hyung’s wrath”.

“junminie is much scarier, he’ll definitely kill me”.

“he’s not the only one” is kristian’s go to reply, he sucks his teeth as he seems to recall a memory. “they’re so stupid, now the air in the dorm is all weird because they can’t admit they like each other”.

well that’s news to kiyo, whose eyes widen as his reply. the two older members exchange a glance, before jaehwan bursts into a silent fit of laughter. “are you telling me you didn’t know?”

a rosy red colors his cheeks. “well i didn’t think it was like.. that! i don’t know, i guess i wasn’t paying much attention”.

kristian coos, a hand placed atop his head and fingers beginning to move in comforting ministrations. “so oblivious.. it’s okay, i don’t blame you for keeping your distance”.

the older smiles, a smile that kiyo himself barely sees, yet he thinks is pretty, he doesn’t understand why kristian doesn’t like his smile, it’s a decorative display of his elation. “maybe it’s good not to be there right now..”

“right? let them fuck their feelings ou—”

“shut up” kristian lets out the closest thing to a shriek kiyo has ever heard, the result of jaehwan’s heavy slap, a shriek which clearly was dramatized, if not to make the older’s life even worse, but just to extend the feat of irritation. “or i’m letting you take all the heat”.

“i’m a pure being, they would never believe you”.

the eldest of the trio scowls, expression twisting into a grimace as he begins stomping his way through the narrow streets. the other chuckles as he taps the maknae’s shoulder, smoothly looping their arms into one another as he decides terrorizing him isn’t yet over. “jaehwanie! don’t walk away from me!”

“i’m going to kill you”.

he simply grins at the threat, nothing but pure amusement behind his eyes. “no you won’t, taro is here to protect me”.

“that’s called favoritism—”

“or maybe he just likes me, you like me don’t you?”

suddenly put on the spot, kiyo again finds heat coiling against his skin, he hopes it’s chalked up to the cold, though judging by the expression crossing jaehwan’s features, they clearly know it is not from the cold. he stammers for a moment, put off by the narrowing of kristian’s eyes. “i.. um—” he again blinks, clearing his throat. “yeah, yeah i do”.

the older chuckles, not making fun of him, simply enamored by the response. “oh you’re so cute” he nudges him with his shoulder, slipping his arms from kiyo’s.

“see? our maknae likes me more than you”.

what a display of showing off, kiyo keeps silent, the rushing breeze earning a tiny wince. “oh fuck you”.

“don’t swear so loudly at such a time, have some decorum”.

jaehwan again scrunches his nose, yet his insults don’t dig that deep, kiyo can’t help but envy their.. ‘relationship’. as the three again begin their journey down narrow street, he opts to listen in on their endless bickering, the gravitas dissipates as minutes stretch, and their exchange of remarks result in more of giggles than anything.

it’s the slightest bit admirable, how they can go back and forth without genuine feelings being hurt.

“are you gonna milk me for all i have now?”

“your rich, it’s only fair” the eldest places a lone arm on the shoulder of the tallest, who scrunches his nose at his choice of words. “unless you don’t want to spend money on me”.

there really doesn’t seem to be anything left to contemplate, kristian’s smile is nothing real, it’s stretched so far kiyo is afraid he may begin bleeding. “i wouldn’t complain if that wasn’t the case”.

“you’re a terrible friend”.

“is that what we are?” he could be an actor, seriously, there isn’t a falter in the way his expressions form, it’s terrifyingly impressive. “would’ve never guessed..”

the maknae stares again, feeling himself grow awkward as the older seemingly gets increasingly exasperated. “your paying”.

“sure” his smile remains plastic.

he does end up paying for cute cafe treats, though he attested it was all against his will, the genuine smile he attempted to shadow over with leftover irritation indicates the fact.

“outrageous, coffee at this time of night?”

“could you not criticize every single little choice i make?”

kiyo felt like a burden getting something, he wasn’t aware they were going out, he can’t fathom the confidence jaehwan exudes, it’s the slightest bit terrifying.

“no, every single little choice you make contains some form of stupidity”.

“you’re an ass”.

“thank you”.

he again keeps silent as they bicker, jaehwan’s face twisting into a grimace with the garden rose macaron being his safety net.

kiyo just wants to go home— not back to the suffocating dorms, no home, his stomach curls uncomfortably, even if it means having to face the awkward air between his parents, it would be better than this, he thinks. he really can’t compare, it feels as if every other member has someone to lean on, who does he have? even these two, they’re much closer than he could ever think he’d become to the other members.

“are you alright?”

no, kiyo is sure he might throw up on the sidewalk. “yeah, i’m fine”.

“do you not want anything?”

his tongue feels heavy in his mouth, words now a figment, his eyes hurt, he’s unsure of why. “no” he shakes his head much too unnaturally. “it’s fine, i just.. um, i wanna go home”.

‘home’ is just a bit of a stretch.

the two older members exchange a glance, a feat of concern gleaming across both of their pupils, he so dearly wishes for them not to argue with him.

“okay, are you sure you’re alright?”

curse them for being so caring.

“yeah i’m fine i’ll just.. i’ll see you there”.

and really, it’s a miracle he doesn’t just end up vomiting his guts.

staring at your ceiling in the middle of the night brings out the strangest of thoughts.

the fact that he still owns a teddy bear may be childish, but it’s an item of solace. he sometimes yearns for a manual when it comes to shit like this, being randomly selected to become an entertainer in a foreign country is ridiculous, he’d assume the teenager idol life would be more akin to a dream.

he guesses naivety gets people a long way.

he isn’t exactly sure who he can go to, about the nightmares, the shadows of the night which threaten to jump out at him, his concern for yohan’s own wellbeing, how he feels too weak for the pressure threatening to crush him under its weight. they’re all older, they all seem so much more experienced, as if they had been granted the gracious opportunity to read over an instruction manual. for all of his short cutted, awkward, seemingly forced movements, everybody else did things in full effect, nothing of a falter in their actions.

he feels out of place,

and he only has this old teddy bear as his wall, a cowardly display of his feigned bravery. he yearns for something much more familiar, warm, the idol industry offers him naught, it may be selfish, but he wishes it came with the praise he previously assumed it would.

god, is he a baby or something?

he would not want to disturb others, yet he longs for some sort of substance, maybe not affection, maybe just..

truthfully, he has no idea, he complains but can’t even think up a solution to his issues, he simply stands around in silence and hopes for it all to be okay, hopes that a freak accident does not occur (like the members breaking bones a month shy of a performance, or having to be in the middle of an active argument), hopes that he’ll blink and suddenly everything will all be fine.

there are only two other people on the third floor which are awake, haneul sleeps so softly, and kyuhyun has been gone for a good few hours, always the early sleeper.

and it’s the two people he sort of ran away from.

he keeps kei clutched to his side in the manner of a child, his weapon against the monsters under his bed, the worries which plague his mind in the dead of night, his bare feet meet the cold floor as he swings out of his own bed, much too lazy to grab at a sweater, though it is also much too cold in this large space.

really, it’s sort of scary, reaching out, having to relay your worst fears to someone else, he can’t, he isn’t sure he ever could.

he almost flinches backward when kristian’s door opens, as if the light permeating from the cracks of it weren’t enough of an indication. “hi, something wrong?”

kiyo wants to die looking at him.

and that’s funny, this is probably the most normal the other has looked. there’s an uncharacteristic way of docility behind his eyes, nothing of the toughness he can’t help but fear. he doesn’t say anything, not anything the maknae would expect, there isn’t a comment about his trembling, about the stubborn way in which he holds the teddy bear, about the fact of the teddy bear either, he simply awaits a response.

“i— um.. can i stay in your room tonight?”

isn’t that just so weird to ask? what kind of sane perso—

“sure” he offers a smile, “better than just having jaehwanie here”.

“i heard that”.

he doesn’t mind, holding open the door (what a gentleman) for him.

he sinks onto the floor, knees up to his chest, teddy bear also up to his chest, he simply wants to be around people, socialization shouldn’t be entailed with that. he stares down at the blank wooden floorboards, attempting to entertain himself in his own mind.

he can’t though, because all he’s met with is anxiety.

the movie playing on a laptop blurs into mindless background noise, their resounding bickering nothing but its own fit of normalcy. he isn’t sure of the time, he’s simply too out of it.

“are you okay?”

the inquiry is repeated by the same person, same way, same gleam of concern. he again retreats into himself, but the unbreakable wall he put up can’t shadow the dejection, he’s unfortunately obvious.

“just homesick”.

not exactly a lie, simply a half truth.

their shoulders brush for a moment, but nothing more is said.

there’s laughter which comes from the nearby laptop, his face grimaces, the comedy is nothing short of forced, or maybe he’s being pessimistic, much too busy trying to keep it all together.

he caresses the fur of his childhood best friend, yearning for some length of protection in this world which replicates that of a monstrous creature.

“have you had that for a while?”

“forever really..” kiyo is afraid his mumbles may be unintelligible, yet he’s too afraid of speaking up. “names kei, means blessing”.

when he snorts, kiyo fears the imminent mockery which may follow up, but he instead earns a (shockingly) small smile. “that’s cute”.

his smile is pretty, much prettier than he’s ever told. if it was up to kiyo, he would shower him with compliments, maybe he thinks its ugly, well he’s wrong, how does insecurity exist when he’s so—

well, he shouldn’t allow his mind to wander off.

“kinda childish..”

the older raises an eyebrow, a spontaneous gleam of enchantment in his pupils. “no, it’s cute, teddy bears are cute, i never had one though”.

kiyo can’t help but think the lighting of the room is perfect.

“that’s depressing”.

“right? no mode of safety, what’s gonna protect me from monsters under the bed?”

for once, it gets a small laugh, though breathy. “you could always just buy one”.

“it would have little worth”:

kiyo’s eyes glance at the posters stuck to the wall. “maybe you should cuddle your pillow then”.

now it’s his turn to earn a snicker, the laughter is silent, yet it’s real, a sudden fit of elation that would usually disturb taro on a regular day. “got any better tips to battle homesickness?”

a head shake. “nothing..”

another chuckle. suddenly they’re closer, but they both remain silent on that specific topic. “i think.. i don’t know, guess it seems scary at first, but it’ll settle, there’s no reason to be scared”.

“yeah right!”

“hey! you shut up i’m trying to comfort our maknae and you can’t even be quiet for one minute—”

and then they start fighting, he guesses that the normalcy seeps into the blood after a while, if he’s being honest, it’s kind of funny, it’s own fit of comfort.

he can’t resist his laugh, it’s about three in the morning, yet they’ve still managed a bit of amusement.

[royaltyoon]

BIRTHDAY SPECIAL HEADCANONS

Planning a birthday

[A/N]

@xylandump Happy birthday, love

A little something for you <33

Johan:

Johan would definitely try to go out of his way to make your day special.

Well, not budget wise, since he's low on cash, but he'll try to make it as memorable as possible

He would plan a trip to all the places you both visited together, in the time you were a couple

And he would place little post-it notes at each destination, them reading all the times he fell in love with you. The moments he knew you're the one.

He would start off the day with breakfast in bed, making all of your favourites, just the way you loved them.

You preferred pancakes with butter instead of maple syrup? He'd make that for you. You like your bread almost at the edge of getting burnt? He'd spend 30 mins just to get that right.

He would pick your outfit since today was the only day he agreed to wear matching couple outfits. He'd even get matching pair of shoes (most probably stole them)

He would do your hair, not something fancy but he has definitely picked up some tips and tricks from his mom.

He would take you to the park where you both shared your first hug, in some alley where y'all had your first kiss, in a restaurant you went for your first official date, at the Amusement park where he realised he loved you, and at a secluded gazebo where he confessed his love

He would reminisce all those happy memories he had with you, it was like a live movie of your relationship.

Starting all from the first time you both laid eyes on eachother to the present date.

He'd book a reservation at the fancy restaurant you really liked but didn't visit often since it was way over your 'food spending limit.'

Even if you argued with him to eat somewhere cheaper he would go "you're the most important thing in my life, today is your day and I want you to have the best. I know we can't afford much with me having to save up the money, but today, I just want to treat my love with luxury."

Though y'all would get out of there right after the starters cause there's no way in hell the both of you are spending $50 on chicken wings.

He ended up buying you some street food instead, and you felt more at ease with it. This was the kind of food you both bonded over.

"you always are such a mess when you eat." He picked up the napkin to clean off the edge of your mouth. "says you, you practically inhale your food." You pout with a mouth full of food. That all just seemed to endearing for him to result a full grown smile on his face.

At the end if the day the both of you would take a stroll in the park, with ice creams in your hands.

"you can be really romantic if you try."

"only for you."

[luna-lina]

THE DEVIL JUDGE OST part [3/?]

Mirror City by Kim Hyundo Devastating Revenge by Jung Serin Darkness Longing For Light by Jung Serin Hope Of Dystopia by Jung Serin Nightmare by Sondia Ominous Aura by Sim Heejin I Am The Abyss by Goo Bonchoon

[levxtate]

however the show may end... at least we'll always have I don't care if humanity falls as long as I have you two