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keytomythoughts · 3 years

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Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1

Chapter Index

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Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually.

I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.

(Binnie)

R u still on the train?

Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins

(Eunuwu)

Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?

Funny

Yk I can’t move out, at least not on my own. My parents won’t allow it

(Binnie)

What about Jaehyun?

Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh

They’re just hell-bent on me getting into the top schools and shit

(Eunuwu)

Damn, rough

Mhm

(Binnie)

Try talking to them, u never know

They might change their minds?

Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end

Me crying and stuffing myself with pints of ice cream

(Eunuwu)

Doesn't sound so bad

(Binnie)

¬_¬

(Eunuwu)

Except for the crying part ofc

But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad

I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice

(Binnie)

U’ve been to her house??

Yeah him and oppa are friends too

(Binnie)

Righttt forgot lol

And that’s bc you were there dumbass and half of the time ur either in oppa’s room or out somewhere

Interaction with my parents = minimal

(Binnie)

That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna

But hey we should all hang soon!

(Eunuwu)

I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?

I miss y’all :’(

Ok I should be there around like 5 ish so I’ll text then

(Binnie)

Aww I miss u toooo

(Eunuwu)

*puke*

Shut up, ur just jealous

(Eunuwu)

Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?

Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already

And personality 0:)

Gr8, explains why ur still single

(Binnie)

LOLL

She got u there bro

(Eunuwu)

Shut up

Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf

Idiot

(Binnie)

At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol

See? My point exactly

Your fAcE scared off every girl in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy

I almost feel bad for them, u little heart breaker

(Binnie)

He made a couple of em cry I heard

Rlly?!?

YAH

U MORON

(Eunuwu)

Bin wtf

(Binnie)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

U JERK HOW COULD U??

Those poor girls omg

Im so kicking ur ass when I c u

(Binnie)

Me 2

(Eunuwu)

Wtf?? Y???

(Binnie)

No reason lol, just feel like it

And this is why ily Binnie

(Binnie)

:D <3

(Eunuwu)

GROSS

Can it u demon

Read 4:02 PM

I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated.

Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends.

That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side.

Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another.

Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.

My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.

“What?”

He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”

I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”

“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”

“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”

He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.”

There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”

“Yeah, give or take.”

I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away.

“What, you miss me?”

He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.”

“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”

“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”

“Shut up.”

I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.

“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”

I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”

“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”

“Oppa!”

Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”

He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.

As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.

God knows where I’d be sent to now.

***

“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.”

That’s my stop.

Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation.

Four long years away from Seoul...

Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.

It sure as hell feels good to be back home.

I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.

“Hyuna, over here!”

I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”

He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide.

Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.

He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”

I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”

He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.

“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?”

I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”

At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!”

“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail.

“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul.

What can I say? It’s a talent.

He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.

“Welcome home, sis.”

I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder.

“Good to be back,” I whisper.

We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment.

He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”

“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.

“Can I—”

“No.”

“Please—”

“Nope.”

I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat.

“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”

Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.

With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.

My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

#moonbin x oc #moonbin ff #moonbin fic #moon bin #cha eunwoo #jung jaehyun #astro #nct #fanfiction #my writings #mine

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whyiask · 4 years

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

There are so many people I’ve met on this site, so many friends I’ve made. I joined tumblr only a few months ago, but my life has already drastically improved. I smile more and laugh more and I feel happier all the time, knowing that you all are just a click away. I’ve often heard people refer to tumblr as a hellsite, but I don’t fully agree with that. True, some things on here are crazy, but more than that, I’ve found people like me. I’ve found people who understand me, who think like me and feel like I do. Ya know, before I joined tumblr, I had never met another bisexual person(crazy, right?). Y’all have made life more enjoyable and happier and brighter, and for that, I’ll never be able to thank you enough.

I have soooo many people I have to thank, so I’ll try to keep the list of people as short as possible: all my closest friends and all the people who have been amazing and I have loved seeing since I joined tumblr earlier this year <33

@one-neat-nerd you were the first blog to ever follow me, and I don’t remember if you were the first blog I followed, but you definitely were in the first 10. You were a wonderful introduction to tumblr, and I love everything you post/reblog. We’ve never really talked, but I still want you to know that I appreciate you.

@warblerjeff you’ve changed your url more than 3 times since I first followed you, and it always takes me a second to recognize you aha! But when I do, I’m immediately have a rush of happy memories- all your Glee posts and all of the Glee content I get from you. We’ve never really talked, but seeing you on my dash is always so amazing.

@jesussavedevenme aha hi! We’ve never really talked, but you were one of the first few blogs I followed when I first joined tumblr, and I know I tagged you in a lot of stuff at first (because i didn’t have any other friends lmao), so sorry about that! 😅 You’re really cool and I hope you have an amazing 2021.

@strawberry-seraph we haven’t talked in a while, sorry about that! Talking with you is always super fun, you’re a fun person and I hope your having a great day! You were one of the first TLC blogs I followed and you were definitely the first actual friend I had on tumblr. Thanks for being so nice to me <33

@cerenoya Ceren... where to begin. We haven’t talked a whole lot, but you are such an amazing friend and super kind when we do! You were my first tumblr idol for so long, because I aspired to be like you/run a blog as cool as yours!! Have a great 2021, you deserve it.

@cindersnightmare I felt very distant from you when I first followed you. You were just so COOL and your artwork was so GOOD, I didn’t know how to approach or even begin to express my love for your work. When you followed me back, I tell you, I was s h o o k. We’ve never talked, but I consider you a friend, is that okay? You’re amazing, keep being amazing <33

@books-and-starss oh gosh- I don’t even know where to begin with you! I love you so much, first of all!! So, so much. I love talking with you, you’re really sweet and ahhhh your writing is SO GOOD!!!! You are a great beta reader and so eager to help me- it just warms my heart that you would offer up your time to help me. Everything you reblog is so positive and encouraging and awesome, it’s so nice to see that kind of stuff on my dash. All the aesthetic pictures you reblog are super cool and pleasing to look at. I absolutely ADORE seeing you on my dash every day. <33333

@dylxn-lee aha hello there!! I first met you because you were one of Abi’s friends, but now I’m in your fanclub and ilysm. You’re really cool and nice and deserve to have a wonderful year <333

@theaberrantone ahaha for so long I pronounced your name wrong in my head- I just want you to know... I see you. I see you every day, liking every single one of my posts. I see you in my notifs many times a day and I just- wow. It means so much to me, I am honestly so touched that someone as cool as you takes the time to scroll through my mess of a blog and like the things I slap into it. You’re amazing and someday I aspire to be as cool as you <333333

@mochiowo-20 hi there :333 ilysm, and we haven’t talked for a few weeks, and I haven’t gone through your blog in a while, but I STILL LOVE YOU SO MUCH. You are amazing and ily. Your so sweet and cool and ahhhh you deserve to have the most wonderful 2021 ever. (i love your blog aesthetic btw) <333

@teawithhoneyharper I know you’re taking a break from tumblr for a while, but if you do see this, then I want you to know that I care about you so much. I love you Darcy, and you are amazing. I hope your mental health is getting better and I hope life has been better to you <33 ilysm, take care of yourself, and have a wonderful new year <333

@fablehavenfandom hi there friend!! Your posts are amazing!! I love your writing so much!!! and all your headcanons are beautiful and I 100% think of them as canon now. I hope you’re having a great day, and I hope you have a great year <33

@fairiesandstarlight omG your posts are all so cool! You’ve got a beautiful blog aesthetic and I love everything you post!! I hope you’re having a wonderful new year love <333 wishing you the best

@maya-livingstone hi there!! you’re a very, very new mutual, but I hope we’ll be able to get to know each other and become friends over the course of this new year!! I also just got the Renegades series, and I’ve noticed you like that, so hopefully we’ll be able to talk about that soon!!

@pluckycluckyducky hi plucky!! It’s Joy from the nevermoor server. we haven’t interacted on here very much, but you’re really cool and you should know it. have a wonderful 2021 <33

@fablehavenandfandomsfanatic hi there!! you had to break for a while, but you’re back now and I love all of the things you post! Have a great year <3

@fablehavenfangirl you’re really cool! Everything you post/reblog is great and I enjoy just scrolling through your blog when I’m bored. You’re amazing, keep being amazing <3

@renegadenebulahufflepuff heyyyy! how are you doing? you’re amazing, we haven’t talked much but you’re really cool and I am wishing you only the best for 2021 <333

@bookishfangirl14 hey there!! I love seeing you in my notifs!! we don’t have very many overlapping fandoms at the moment, but you’re still really cool and I love looking at your blog (even if i don’t understand most of the posts). aha, i hope you have a wonderful new year <33

@introvertedtater-tot hii! we don’t talk much, despite having a LOT of overlapping fandoms, and I don’t know why. Let’s fix that this year, shall we? I hope I can get to know you more, you’re amazing and sweet and i hope we can build up a solid friendship in the coming months <33

@devils-on-a-stereo oh my GOD. Okay, honestly? I am still s h o o k that you actually follow me, I mean, c’mon. Your art is literally the coolest thing ever, and I am honored to know you. You deserve way more attention as an artist than you have, and honest to god you are the coolest most i c o n i c blog I know. Stay awesome ;)

@its-liiinh-cinder-official heyyy there!! You are literally a top-notch comedian, I aDORE all of your ‘linh cinder’s random posts’. They are hilarious and your stories are hilarious, and you seem like such an amazing and chaotic person. I wish i knew you in real life, you would be so fun to hang out with. i love seeing you on my dash every day, and you’ve got such a v i b e going on. Have a beautiful, wondrous, and magical 2021 darling <333333

@just-another-freaking-dreamer it’s so awesome to see you in my notifs all the time. You’re really cool and you deserve cool things. Have a wonderful new year and I hope we can become better friends and interact more <3

@ragingbisexualcore ahhaahah you are the single most chaotic person I know. If you lived in a book, you would FOR SURE be that one character who is dead set on overthrowing the government and cackling madly as you take over the world. You are amazing and I hope you take your chaotic self and go wild in 2021.

@queenofsassgard hey there!! I hope you know that occasionally I just go scrolling through your archives and liking everything- anyways, you’re amazing and I hope you have a wonderful new year!

@elysian-starbucks-frappe heyo! what’s up? I hope you’re doing great, you deserve to do great. You’re super cool and amazing and ahhhhh you just deserve to have a wonderful 2021. ily and have a great year <33

@as-the-stars-foretold Caelum. You. Are. Fantabulous. You are my mother, you adopted me into this weird, chaotic friend group, and I will be eternally grateful. You love the stars and I love listening to you ramble about them in the server. You’re so passionate and strong and I love that about you. Life wouldn’t be the same without you. You might love stars, but you yourself ARE a star. You are a star, you shine brilliantly, and you are too good for this galaxy. We don’t deserve you. I love you so much, and you deserve every single goddamb good thing in this universe. You’re always there, ever present, and I love you so. much. Please stay your fantabulous self and I wishing on every star I see that you will have the best 2021 ever <333333

@carolinelikesdinner Carol. God, I have so much to say to you. First of all, thank you. Thank you so much for being you. You first introduced me into the big wide world of the Fablehaven fandom, and ilysm. You’re so cool, too cool for me, and I treasure every single conversation I have with you. You’re so funny and an amazing artist. All of your art is SO DAMB SPECTACULAR. You are gorgeous, your art is gorgeous, and your writing is gorgeous too. Take care of yourself love, stay safe, and have the best 2021 you possibly can <3333333333333

@operation-crown-jewels Caraaaaaaaaa ilysmmmm <3333333333333 I love talking with you and I love you so. freaking. much. I can’t even- I can’t even describe how much i love you. You are so special and sweet and supportive and I just can’t- you have NO IDEA how much that means to me, how much all your little comments mean to me. You are amazing, and special, and ahhhhh. You are SO special. So unique. And I’ll never find another friend like you <33333333333

@addies-invisible-life hey emma :3 You are actually the coolest person I know.You are so capable and smart and beautiful. You are kind and supportive and you are open to everyone who talks to you. You love with all your heart, and I love that about you. In everything you do, I can see the love behind it, the work and effort and love that you put into it. Every conversation I have with you lifts me up and energizes me(which is really rare because most conversations tire me). I still, after all this time, still can’t believe that a person as amazing as you even chooses to be friends with me. I love you so much and I will never stop loving you. You deserve the world, but I can’t give you that, so just take my reassurances that I will ALWAYS, NO MATTER WHAT, be here for you. ily and have a wonderful 2021 <3333333333333333333333333333333333333

@arushahisatroll my god. Ru, I love you so much. You are my internet girlfriend and I care about you so much. You are incredible, honestly. Your art is immaculate and you’re always so cheerful and fill me up with energy just THINKING about you. you always eager to commit arson, which is a very good trait, and I love plotting crimes with you. Every time I see your icon, my face lights up and I internally scream, bc “oh my god someone as perfect as ru exists in this world- i didn’t know that was possible.” You are the best, you are the absolute best, my bestie, and ily. Have a spectacular and immeasurably awesome 2021 <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

@starry-tea-party Abina. Abina you are my rock. You are my light, my star, my sunshine, my galaxy. I love you so much, I can’t even begin to describe it. I don’t know if I can do justice to just how much you’ve helped me. Words... words have never been my strong suit. I love writing because I can weave stories together, piece together words I like to form sentences, and use those sentences to form narratives. Writing has always been easier for me than talking.... because in writing, I don’t have to worry what others will think, or how others will perceive me. I select the best words, and I present those words- the words I meticulously chose and nit-picked- to the audience. Life is a stage, and I have never been great at improv. I often find it hard to tell people things, to convey my meaning in the best possible way and to know exactly what words I need in any given situation. Talking is hard for me. But with you... with you, I never have to monitor what I’m saying. I never feel the need to reread and reread my messages before sending to make sure everything is in perfect order. It’s... it’s easy to talk to you. It’s easy to speak and I don’t worry when I’m with you. You make me feel so at ease, and I love you so much. I don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing, because I know that you’ll always support me and be by my side with a kind word and a heart of gold. Because that’s who you are. You are a creator, a dreamer, a lover, a visionary. You’re a friend. You are the hand that pulls people out of the water. The light that shines the pathway. You are the rock- the mountain we stand upon and look out over the beautiful sea. We look down at the seas below us and say, “how have we climbed so high already?” The reason is because you stand so tall, so bright and so magical, that we climb, we climb and we look out at the world below us. Not only are you tall, strong, powerful, but you lift people up right alongside you. There is nothing like the high of seeing the world stretch out beneath your feet, swinging you legs through the open air but knowing you’ll never fall. You represent that high in my mind. You represent and you remind me of the exhilaration of feeling untouchable- uplifted by love and kindness, able to reach heights you’ve never been to before. There is so much that can come when someone extends their hand to you. So much more can be achieved when there are two, holding each other up. You have held me up for so long. Every since we met, you have brought a smile to my face at the thought of you. Every time I think of you, my heart swells and I can’t breathe. Every comment you make or put on something I post has me screaming internally ans smiling uncontrollably. Whenever I see your icon I know my day is about to get one million times better. So thank you, Abi. For being my rock.

#wooh that was a lot #i love you all so much more than you can even comprehend #joining tumblr was the best part of 2020 for me #meeting all of you #happy new year

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hongism · 4 years

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sweetest taste - kth

➻ pairing: taehyung x fem!reader

➻ wc: 1418

➻ genre: fluff so sickeningly sweet

➻ rating: pg/sfw

➻ warnings: none!

➻ summary: taehyung loves the taste of cotton candy especially on your lips

➻ @starlightseoks asked:

hello miss caly i would like to order a taehyung + wine if i may hehehehe

➻ a/n: henlo lainer i love u mucho mucho u are the bestest ily i hope you enjoy this lots and lots i tried my best to make it sweet and fluff 🥺

☽ ☾

Taehyung tugs you closer to him, fingers interlocked with yours as he walks. A bright rectangular smile coats his lips, and in his unoccupied hand, he carries a pastel pink bundle of cotton candy. You grin back at him as he looks over at you. Despite the wretched heat bearing down on your back, the date is perfect in every way. Taehyung loves these sorts of things: spending a day out on the town, drinking in new and fun things, especially at the fair. You decided to humor him today even though you didn’t want to spend the day in the heat like this.

The sun is beginning to dip under the horizon, casting long and cool shadows over you. Sweat is still in the process of drying against your skin though.

“Okay, now for the main event,” Taehyung says, a little laugh leaving his lips. “Ferris wheel. At night. Kiss at the top.” You giggle in response to his words. The excitement rolls off him in waves, and you can’t resist the warm feeling that blossoms in your chest.

Taehyung continues to pull you towards the Ferris wheel, humming a little under his breath, and you trail after him. To be honest, the ride is a bit scary in the way it looms before you, and it’s a bit high for your liking. You know Taehyung is going to be at your side the whole time, but that still isn’t enough to squash the feelings of terror that are coursing through you at the moment.

A short line awaits you at the foot of the Ferris wheel, and Taehyung pushes his bundle of cotton candy into your hands so that he can pull out his wallet. You take it with slightly shaky fingers, chewing on the inside of your lip as Taehyung pays for two tickets. He ushers you up the platform without any hesitation.

One thing you love about Taehyung is the way he is always so fearless and confident. He exudes confidence and joy at all times, especially now, but nothing seems to ever scare him. Whether it be deep water, dramatic heights, or scary movies, nothing fazes him. You wish some of that confidence would rub off on you, because you can barely force yourself to step onto the shaky car. Taehyung steadies you with his hand. He slips his fingers back through yours and sends a reassuring smile your way as though sensing your anxieties.

Sitting down on the soft booth of the car provides some sense of peace for your poor heart. You can’t keep from biting little chunks of cotton candy off, however, just to keep yourself preoccupied as the car begins to move a moment later. Taehyung looks elated, gazing out the window as you move up higher and higher. You, on the other hand, can’t bring yourself to glance outside and instead stare at the cotton candy in your hand.

“Y/N,” Taehyung says after staring out the window for a bit. “Are you nervous?”

“Y-Yea, a bit. It’s–it’s really high up.”

Taehyung’s hand squeezes yours, and he scoots closer to you on the booth. “I’ve got you, baby.”

“I know, I know,” you mutter, a small smile coming over your lips. A soft kiss presses against your hairline.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you while we’re up here either,” he promises before reaching around you to snatch the cotton candy from your hand. “You’re so precious.”

“Oh hush! You can’t say that when I’m over here scared out of my mind.” Your smile morphs into a pout. Taehyung giggles back at you, smile so wide that it almost hurts to look at.

The car rises more, shaking from the sudden movements, and you dare to glance outside. The sight nearly makes your heart jump out of your chest. You instinctively squeeze Taehyung a bit tighter. The car is nearly to the top of the Ferris wheel, and the higher you go, the more unstable it seems to feel. All you can think about is what would happen if–

Taehyung stops your train of thought, fingers tugging your chin towards him and making you look him in the eye.

“Y/N…” He trails off, tone suddenly quiet. “I know I say it a lot, but I really really love you. I love you more than anything in the universe. I can’t see my life without you. In the time that we’ve been dating, I think you've changed me for the better and you have helped me because the best version of myself. I want to give you the same love and affection and compassion that you give me every day.”

“You already do that, Tae.” You reach out to cup Taehyung’s cheek, tilting your head to the side as you smile softly at him. “Every day.”

The car suddenly lurches again before coming to a halt at the very top of the Ferris wheel. You glance down at the ground below, heart constricting in your chest. Taehyung reigns you back in once again though, not letting your gaze linger long on the ground.

“I want to do it more. I want to do it every day for the rest of my life.” He clears his throat, a red hue rising to his cheeks all of the sudden. He releases your hand and sets the bundle of cotton candy to the side. You watch his movements in confusion as he slowly gets to his feet. His actions cause the car to wobble a little but this time, your heart doesn’t constrict because of the lurching. Rather, it constricts because Taehyung is lowering himself to one knee in the middle of the car, hand reaching into his pocket and pulling a small black velvet box out of his pocket.

Your lips part in shock, eyes widening so far that they could fall out if possible. Taehyung clears his throat again, a new nervousness in his tone and posture.

“Y/N L/N, I know for certain that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t know whether I am the best thing that has ever happened to you, but I know that I don’t want to go a single day where I can’t call you mine. I want to be yours forever, and I would love to call you mine forever. So… I would like to offer myself to you with the promise that I will always love you and cherish you no matter what, no matter what hardships we face, or what we go through. I want to do everything with you, whether it be good or bad. Would you please do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage?”

The world seems to stop around you as Taehyung asks the question, shaky fingers popping the black velvet box open to reveal an engagement ring. You forget how to talk for a minute, barely able to breathe, but once your body catches up to your brain, you are springing to your feet to all but tackle Taehyung in a hug. In your haste to get to him, you nearly knocked him to the ground, falling onto his lap with a small thud.

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Oh my god, Taehyung, yes. Of course. Always and forever.” You bury your face in the crook of his neck. He folds his arms around you with a laugh of relief, and you feel his tears before you see them. When you pull back to look at his face, he frantically tries to hide the evidence of his crying. You take his face into your hands gently and wipe the tears away with the pads of your thumbs.

“Wipe your own tears, silly,” he chokes out. You hadn’t even realized you were crying too in the excitement and adrenaline of the moment. He pulls back a little to pull the ring into view again. “C-Can I?”

You nod frantically back at him, extending your left hand for him to slide the delicate ring over your finger. Just seeing it on your hand causes the tears to fall harder, and you lean back against him. He finally plants a soft kiss on your lips, a small sigh leaving him as he pulls away, then he quickly comes back for another longer kiss.

“God, I love cotton candy,” he mutters against your lips, the taste of the sweet treat still on your skin. “Especially on you.”

☽ ☾

211 notes · View notes

xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

Note

Hey this is for your matchups which again yayyy congrats on nearly 200!! Anyways for my matchup:

1-3) My nickname is Em, she/her and idm who you pair me with

4) I'd describe myself as shy at first then once you get to know me I'll open up, an overthinker and I like to be organized

My hobbies are writing, I really love it alot, I also like to draw if I get time and I love music alot too

In a partner I'd look for someone who makes me laugh and who's patient

For dealbreakers it's pretty general but I couldn't be with someone who doesn't consider other ppl's feelings

5) I don't have an aesthetic but I like pastel aesthetics but then I also like dark aesthetics and light academia so it's a mix I guess

6) Colours to describe me would be teal blue and silver, well according to you anyways

7) Right now I'd say my favourite song is Tru Luv Street by Awfultune or Fight Night Champion by Cyberbully Mom Club

8) Idk about a specific genre but some artists I like rn are: Awfultune, Carpetgarden, Cavetown, Clem Turner, Cyberbully Mom Club, Girl in Red, Joji, Lorde, Matt Maltese and Twenty One Pilots (sorry that's alot)

9) Ooh and I wanted to include that my favourite book is Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Thank you in advance and also ily, you deserve all the love and more!! <3

EM MY BELOVED I HAVE DONE IT

@sugasfanfics this was so fun wtf like-- ugh i love this

ANYWAY i know i already kinda spilled the beans but im gonna match you with....

✧𝐴𝑘𝑎𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖 𝐾𝑒𝑖𝑗𝑖✧

AGASHIII

and no it's not just because you're already in love w him i have good reasoning behind this because i said so anyWAY

✧𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡✧

how you met, for in case you cant see my fancy text

Cafe

C a f e

But like

A cafe specifically for nerds

This is just my like 2nd dream job okay but like hear me out

They have coffee & tea & a bookshelf full of old books and a chalkboard

You can write all over the chalkboard

You write super tiny and just let a little mini vent out in the corner because you’re stressed out and need to get everything off your chest

BUT you come back the next day and there’s a little note in the same little corner

Your message is gone

But instead is a little note from someone

“If you ever need to talk to someone, let me know”

And an Instagram username

So you give it a shot and you’re like why not talk to this random person Y’know maybe make a new friend if anything just thank them for the offer

You message him and start talking (and low key stalk his page just to see what he’s like, or maybe that’s just me being a snoop) and he’s actually really cool! So you guys meet up and get coffee and actually start talking all the time it’s really sweet

✧𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠✧

general headcanons

When i think of akaashi, I think of stars

When i think of you, i think of picnics and for some reason, water

Like the ocean

SO EVEN IF ITS NOT THE OCEAN

Your ‘spot’ is by this lake where he took you on a date one time

Maybe for an anniversary or something

But you guys did a little picnic dinner thing and were out when the sun went down so sat and stared at the stars

You buried a rock there and both of you like to stand on that spot where the rock is when youre there with the other

Or send the other a picture like “hiii baby look what i found” w your shoe in the picture

Bokuto is your #1 shipper high key

Like he thinks you two are so cute

He loves you so much too like

He and akaashi are kinda a package deal so like if ur dating akaashi ur dating bokuto just with less kissing (bokuto likes to kiss your cheek or forehead) (after making sure this was ok with akaashi of course) (ur his girlfriend of course)

But anyway just bokuto

He’s so sweet

And so clueless

You two will be walking together and then he’ll just walk up behind you and sling his arms over your shoulders

If youre holding hands w akaashi? He’ll put his hand over both of yours

God now i wanna write a fic but anyway

Bo is just the sweetest and is akaashi’s #1 hype man when he’s worried about a date

He’s ur #2 bc im ur #1 sorry to tell u

Bo totally tried to coin the platonic soulmates thing i love you kou but gtfo my em

Im arguing with fictional characters

ANYWAY

When akaashi is stressed he likes to wrap his arms around you and lay his head against your neck

He’ll never admit it out loud because he thinks its weird but he thinks you smell nice

When he’s starting to overthink too much + spiral he just will grab you and hug you until all the bad thoughts go away

When he thinks to of course

When he doesn’t, there are times you gotta find him and calm him down

Which he loves so much

Sit him down on the floor so he feels more grounded and hold his hand (or hook pinkies that's so cute i jhbflebf) (not the time spencer gtfo)

That way ur not crowding him but you’re still there y'know

And sometimes he’ll talk, sometimes you need to talk him down, sometimes you just sit in silence

Eventually he will lean forward into you and hug you because he doesn't want to talk, but he wants you to know he’s okay

Rub his back, kiss his head, you’ll both be okay

He’s really good with you too

When you’re stressed out he might push a couple buttons but he means well

He just wants to know who made his star upset (he calls you his star or darling convince me otherwise)

So he pushes buttons until you finally talk about it because obviously it’s bothering you why wouldn't you talk about it?? He just wants to fix it??

Sometimes this gets more irritating, sometimes it helps, it depends on the day

But even if you do get into an argument, expect to hear from him before the end of the night apologizing because he feels so bad for arguing with you that he doesn’t even care what the argument was about he just wants to make sure you still love him

I think im getting off topic but tbh this part is always just me rambling lol

Another thing I think of when I think of akaashi is rain. I don't know why but i do

You have to at least know OF the notebook & the rain scene to get this

I don't know the book lol i just know this much and i'm a dork so we’re using it & some quotes just a heads up

But just imagine its pouring and you’re bored and text him like “i wish i could see you but its raining & we didn't really make plans & i don't want you to get caught in the rain anywhere”

This mfer

RUNS ALL THE WAY TO UR HOUSE

JUST SHOWS UP

OUT OF NO WHERE

And being the freakin

book nerd he is

He texts you and goes “I wrote you 365 letters.”

And then just “(come to the door and I’ll finish the quote)”

So you bolt to the front door

And there he is

Soaking wet & smiling like an idiot

“I wrote to you everyday for a year.”

To which you start laughing and barley are able to make out a “it wasn’t over’ (which is the beginning of the next quote) before kissing him

And this jerk pulls you out in the rain with him because WHAT is more romantic than kissing in the rain

Nothing

Anyway he ends up with a cold but you give him some of the clothes you probably stole from him to get into dry clothes and you cuddle under the covers with tea

After you smack him (playfully of course) because “you IDIOT keiji it's pouring out here!!” “I wanted to see you too so i ran over” “you're impossible”

Anyway yeah #emkaashiotp

✧𝐴 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎✧

a date idea

Bookstore

I'm really good at naming places aren't i

Anyway

Bookstore date

But do something fun where the two of you have to go through an aisle and find a random page and read it in the like

How do i explain this

Make it sound suuuuper sexual without it actually being that way and not laugh

Whoever loses buys lunch

Lets just say you lose a lot dear im sorry (he insists on buying anyway, sometimes he wins that argument)

You’re smiley :) (guys her smile is so cute ebflbejfb em ILY)

Oh also doesn’t matter if he bought lunch or not he always gets you something

Whether it be that book you decided you couldn't get this time or a little trinket that reminded him of you, or sometimes it’s just ice cream

It’s all very sweet (hahaha pun)

He always walks you home and gives you a little kiss when he drops you off

Doesn’t leave till you’re inside & he knows you’re good

You make him promise to text you when he gets home

Which he does, without fail

✧𝑍𝑜��𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦✧

zodiac compatibility

Sagittariuses are very intelligent, fair-minded & honest, similar to a Libra’s cleverness & rationale. Because of this similarity, trust is a huge thing in these relationships. It can be all or nothing, but finding balance is important to keep both people happy. Luckily, Libras are very good at this. From everything I’ve seen, these signs together have a very high compatibility and can have a very long-withstanding and healthy relationship.

✧𝐴𝑒𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐✧

aesthetic

✧𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡✧

playlist

House of Gold - Twenty-One Pilots

Lvr Boy - awfultune

A Shitty Love Song - Jye

Darling Get Up - awfultune

Something Just Like This - Alex Goot

✧𝑅𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑈𝑝✧

runners up

Nishinoya Yuu, Sugawara Koushi

#//ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘꜱ

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ladymelissaduthe · 4 years

Text

challenge #3.5

aka the animal shelter (jackson #4)

a/n: i must say-- writing has been tough for me the past few weeks what with school but I bring yall this fic before stuff goes down at the ball. enjoy this fic yall, IT’S ADORABLE. @jackson-graham ;) Bri you know ily, thank you for this RP AS ALWAYS. Doc link is in the title. ENJOY, I also have some a/ns in the notes because Missy is too dumb a bitch to notice certain things and I can’t help but mention them . this is also my longest fic so far LMAO (9346 words)

An independent community engagement proposal.

Oh gosh, it was exciting to really have the chance to try and make a difference. Try to do something big and grand to really help people. It was a way for me to show everyone that maybe I didn’t constantly have weddings and parties on the brain. If I was somehow still here in the palace, even if my disastrous first date with Arin, I guess I needed to show everyone that I had more to offer than just being Missy the Wedding Planner. Something a little more princess material, yesiree!

Still, finding a cause close to my heart was more difficult than I actually planned.

I mean… it was difficult… to really figure out a struggle to help with.

One day, it just struck me though, while I was talking to my Grammy on the phone. Reminiscing about the long days we spent together at the Oncology center in Orleans. For all my years, maybe the worst struggle I’ve seen up so close to was having to go see my Grammy go through the Big C.

A part of me wanted to think of a way to help local oncology centers, and I had to think for a couple of good days until I realized something while sitting in the greenhouse. Somehow I was reminded of a previous conversation here.

This is going to sound weird but, what’s working in an animal shelter like?

It’s hard. Lots of animals, easy to love, but not easy to see what’s been done to them. Or witness how plenty of them are looked over for other animals.

A program that helped train shelter animals to be therapy animals for public spaces.

It was perfect, and I got to work with it as soon as I got back to my room.

Maybe I was a little way over my head initially, but after a couple of days, I was able to Joogle and contact who I needed to call, which is something not entirely new to me.

It was like calling a bunch of vendors for a party, except it wasn’t vendors and the party was a community project that wasn’t really a party.

The beneficiary partners of the project were going to be the East Angeles Oncology Center and one of the city’s main social centers. Convincing them was initially tough if it weren’t for the fact that I mentioned that I was a Selected. Talking about the project and how they could benefit from it was pretty easy after that.

The possible animal trainers were a quick reference thanks to a previous client of mine apparently being on its board of directors. No wonder their dog was their ring bearer.

I needed a couple of them to help make a course that would allow the animals,

I just needed an animal shelter partner. Luckily, I was just waiting for another chance to see the right person to help me with that.

----------

“Jackson! Oh my gosh!” I wave over and try to run over to where he is.

It was a couple days of waiting, sometimes seeing an empty hallway and hoping I would see his face when I would turn a corner. I really just spent most of that time preparing my proposal, writing things down while hoping to get a chance to talk to him and ask for his help. Most days to no success. Today, however, was my lucky day.

Jackson seems to turn when he hears me call his name, stopping in his tracks with a wave back at me. I was careful not to trip in my heels as I ran over to him down the hall.

“Hi Missy.” He greets with a signature warm smile.

I catch up to him, though needing a moment to catch my breath. I raise up my hand for a quick moment. Ooo wait give me a sec to breathe. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. Okay, good.

“I was hoping to see you again around here.” I push some of my hair behind, hoping it would let me catch the air better. “How are you?”

“Not too busy.” His brows raise as he eyes my stance. “You okay?” he gestures to my breathing.

“Oh yeah, I’ve just been… running around doing some errands.” I laugh it off, straightening myself.

Jackson was the person I needed to onboard if I really wanted my independent community engagement proposal to be real. Convince him, and it could all fall into place.

“So I was thinking, um... I’m working on this project. I mean— all the girls are working on individual projects for... community engagement. AND! I— I was thinking of... asking for your help on this one.”

Mayhaps explaining it all in one go was a poor choice. Nonetheless, all Jackson does is blink, his smile not vanishing.

“I’m happy to help, Missy. What’s up?”

I suck in a breath. Mayhaps asking this huge favor was a little too much.

Hmm... nah.

“I was hoping that I could ask you to take me to the animal shelter, the one you’ve told me before.” I look to him, trying to contain my excitement. This was the last piece of the huge puzzle.

Jackson looks pleasantly surprised. “You want to use the animal shelter for your project? Really?”

“I mean, why not use the shelter for my project? It could be the model for what I want to propose.” I feel my smile soften at that thought. I really wanted this to happen. “It could give the critters a second life and purpose beyond just waiting for someone to adopt them.”

That was something I definitely remembered from my last conversation with Jackson. Broke my heart to think about that again. Maybe that’s why I was so determined to get Jackson’s shelter to be the partner for my project rather than any other shelter I could call up in Angeles.

“Yeah. It really could.” His smile softens. After a beat, he shakes his head and looks down. Odd. “Um, are you allowed to leave the palace?” He looks up once more to me.

“Well—” I trail off, my own eyes falling to the ground. “I don’t think it would hurt if I was gone for one afternoon.”

As my Grammy always said, it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission.

I tuck my hair behind my ears. Asking for favors was a little more difficult than both of those.

“What do you say Mister Jackson Graham?”

((ALRIGHT A/N: LEAVING HOW BRI PHRASED THE REPLY BECAUSE MISSY CAN’T PICK THIS UP BUT…. *CRIES* I WISH SHE DID

*AH HER SAYING HIS NAME THAT WAY. how could he not agree? finds himself nodding* Yes, of... of course))

Jackson seems to nod, “Yes, of… of course.”

I feel my smile grow at his agreement. It’s all falling into place! It just wasn’t going to be some things I wrote on paper!

“Thank you thank you thank you!” I step a closer to Jackson and—wait.

Okay.

Mayhaps… I shouldn’t give him a hug.

I quickly tuck my hands behind my back, hoping that I didn’t look as awkward as I already felt. Um, say something Melissa.

“You have no idea how much this means to me. I promise it’ll be worth your time.”

From the look on his face, he seems to know where I was initially going with my hands, but thankfully, he doesn’t seem to bring it up. All he does is chuckle.

“You don’t have to promise. I know it will be.” He then makes a gesture to a certain direction for us to start walking.

Oh, I didn’t think we were gonna go ASAP… but, the idea of getting to go to the shelter right away was something I wasn’t opposed to.

“Thank you so much again.” I nod a couple of times, smiling as we begin walking. I guess Jackson was wondering why I wanted to go. I should explain myself, or at least try.

“I just... I just want to know, understand, what it’s like.” I start off. Trying to find the right words to put it. Looking back at my life in Orleans, it felt like living in a nice little bubble where everyone seemed to protect me. Mama especially since she never wanted me to even see the hardship she faced when she was still a Six. “It seems easy to just write about a place on paper but, I feel like I should personally know what it’s really like in shelters. You know?”

A part of me knew that I never got to see a part of the world before, but being in the Selection. All those princess lessons. It all really could make a girl wonder about… well the world out there and the not-so pretty fairytale type of situations.

“I think that can apply to most issues like these.” Jackson’s head bobs slightly. “But I do understand. I’m glad you... you want to witness it all.”

I nod again a couple of times, “It’s a place to start, seeing things as they are currently helps you understand what they should be or could be in the future.” I eye him, wanting to tease him. “Lucky for me, I had the right person in mind to help me with that.”

Jackson laughs bashfully, looking down at his feet while we still walked. “Right. I’m just glad I can help.” He smiles in my direction before we take a couple of more steps and opens a nearby door, gesturing for me to go in first. Warms my heart to see that chivalry wasn’t dead, at least not with Jackson.

“Are you sure, it’s not too much trouble on your part? For all I know, you’ve got some important work today at the shelter.” I ask while stepping through the door, waiting for him to step through before we start walking down a narrower and less fancy-looking hallway.

“I have a light load today. And they’re always looking for new people to show around, they think it’s fun.” He sounds amused saying this.

“I hope they wouldn’t mind showing me around,” I say, my eyes scanning the hallway. I don’t think I’ve ever been in this part of the palace. It all looked so ordinary compared to where we were a couple of seconds ago. It still matched some of the accents of the hallway we came from, but it looked more normal, like a nice hotel hallway. I turn my attention back to Jackson. “How long have you been working there again?”

“Four years. Started working after I graduated from high school.” Jackson answers me right before we reach the end of the hallway and Jackson opens another door for us, one that lead directly to what seemed to be the garage.

“Guess you’ve become quite the regular there, huh?” I smile to him as I let him guide me, turning to the garage. Wow.

It was like seeing the parking lot of some debutante’s 18th birthday and all her crazy rich relatives were attending. Was that an Audi I saw? Plenty of nice cars lined up, a motorcycle at the end of the line. It was funny how the luxury of living in the palace still amazed me.

“I lucked out in that area. They’re good people too. You’ll like them.” Jackson leads me to where I assume he parked his car. I smile at the sight of him opening the passenger’s door of an ordinary-looking silver sedan. It reminded me of the one we had back home.

“The real question is: will they like me?” I joke before a grateful smile for his gesture, going inside—feeling my head bump against the frame in process. I let out an ow, before letting myself mumble that I was okay.

“Oo.” I see him grimacing, “Sorry, it’s a bit low. Sure you’re alright.”

“Yeah, totally fine.” I give him a quick thumbs up from the inside of his car, laughing to myself at how silly I am. “I’m just prone to accidentally hitting my head in cars.”

“I’ve been prone to much worse.” He flashes a crooked smile as he shuts my door. I laugh as I watch him head to the driver’s side, climb in and buckle up in a steady pace, setting his phone in the cup holder. I remember to buckle up too.

He starts his car, then holds out a cable out to me, “Do you… want to play your music?”

I look at the AUX cord he’s offering, and I offer him a polite smile.

“You don’t want to know the kind of music I like listening to.” I curl my lips in, trying to suppress the awkward smile creeping up my face.

Jackson raises both of his brows, with a chuckle. “You seem awfully sure about that.”

“You’re the first person to offer me the A-U-X cord in the longest time.” I shake my head, though maintaining a smile. “I think that says a lot already.”

Means my friends hate my taste in music, or are just really tired of hearing Show Tunes.

He shakes the cable a bit. With a small smile he says, “The offer is still out there for a few more seconds.”

His friendly smile was enough to convince me. I suppose I can’t quite say no to a friendly gesture like that, especially with someone already doing me a favor.

I let out a light laugh as I take the cord from him and slip my phone out of my dress’ pockets. “Please don’t make fun of me for this.” I give him a word of caution as I hook it up and tap over to my Dotify, picking the first song off of my morning playlist.

I glance up to Jackson, hoping he wasn’t going to groan at my choice.

RENT – RENT Live Cast.

https://open.spotify.com/track/5ZFx5WIlDGbx2rJ2XZ9dQa?si=ChVHl9ljRUGj-Mi2-In8yw (yes the one Jordan Fisher was in)

The music suddenly fills the car with the loud percussion and electrifying guitar rifts of the show’s opening number, and I look over to Jackson gauging his expression while he starts reversing out of the garage and onto a driveway that probably would lead us out of the palace.

His smile grows the music plays, and I’m slightly relieved that he doesn’t seem to hate what I picked. Relieved enough to let myself take in the view of the coast to our right. I never noticed that the road followed the coastline when I first came here.

There was so much blue, as far as the eye could see. It was a view you could see from the terrace of my room, but seeing it move pass you while you were in a car… it was definitely something else on its own.

“This is Rent, right?” Jackson’s voice steals my attention back, and I find myself nodding enthusiastically.

“Yes! It’s,” my eyes glance down to my phone on my lap, “one of my favorite musicals.”

Probably my third favorite musical, right before Dear Evan Hansen and Waitress.

“I’m a Mamma Mia fan myself.” He half jokes in my direction, though his driving still impeccably smooth.

“Really? You strike me as more of a Hamilton fan.” I return the joke with a teasing look his direction, letting myself lean back and watch us drive more into a small winded hilly area.

((get it,,, cause Jordan Fisher played Philipp/Laurens in Hamilton BJSNKD))

“Hamilton’s definitely a close second.” His smile seems to widen at that, and I notice the car finally reaching a highway. That was fast. The car turns right and I find our car starting to merge with a dozen other cars on the highway. “But musicals are more my second choice of music anyhow.”

I turn to him curiously at that, “So what /is/ your first choice in music, Mister Graham?”

Another RENT song is starting to play, and I turn the volume down while we talk, wanting to hear him clearly.

“More singer/songwriter material. Or the classics. Songs I can learn to play myself.” He glances to me, most of his attention on the road while our car started to merge with more traffic on the freeway.

“Oh,” I reply, not having quite pegged Jackson to be a musician too. A veterinarian/ animal shelter volunteer, and now: a musician. He was full of surprises, huh.“What instruments do you play?”

Jackson’s eyes still stay trained on the road. “Piano and guitar. My mother was a musician and I was the kid that managed to get it to stick.” He says, a half smile on his face.

I keep my head still turned his way, finding myself smiling at his reply. “Did she teach you how to play?”

He nods twice. “In the beginning yes. I progressed by myself throughout the years.” He answers before glancing over to me, “Do you play any instruments?”

I wish.

“Nope, I didn’t have anyone to teach me back in Orleans. No one in my family was interested enough in music for me to pick it up…” I answer, shaking my head with a light laugh. Just one of those things I wished I had picked up when I was younger, instead I had dance classes and competitions, kid pageants, and the occasional tag-along to a wedding.

Still, music was something that I wish I could have picked up if I had someone to teach me since the neighborhood I grew up was filled with little house parties where people would invite each other to listen to a mini concert. I only had a wedding planner, a former seamstress turned wedding planner, and a baker at home with me in the family.

I laugh at that idea before adding a question for Jackson.

“So is your dad a veterinarian?” It would make sense if Jackson picked up his love of music from his mom and his love for animals from his dad.

“Lawyer, actually. We all went down different routes.” He answers, an amused lilt in his voice. So that makes his mom a musician, his dad a lawyer, his sister was an interior designer if I remember correctly, and Jackson: an aspiring veterinarian. Those were all very different routes indeed.

“Guess catching up with each other during family dinners would never be dull what with everyone doing their own thing.” I remark, imagining what conversations they’d have—definitely different from my own family’s, where Grammy, Mama, and I would be talking about the same things happening at DDW HQ. Not much variety, really.

“Absolutely never.” A short laugh escapes him, “Especially when I used to bring in little animals and hide them in my room as a kid.”

I cover my mouth, trying to stop myself from laughing too much at that mental image.

“Are you serious?” A snicker escapes me, feeling only more laughter bubble up from my stomach to my chest. “You’d try to hide little animals?”

He seems bashful about that admission, “It didn’t work out very well. Animals make noise and I didn’t know how to hide them without being noticed.”

“I’m still trying to imagine it,” A fit of laughter takes over me as I sit up straight in my seat and close my eyes to picture it even more clearly.

The mental image of a younger, much smaller version of Jackson hiding a baby bird in his jacket pops into my head. The bird making way too much noise as he creeps up the stairs, Jackson trying to go unnoticed.

“You… probably trying to hide a little critter in your jacket.” I say with my eyes still closed, feeling myself smile at that image. I let out another laugh before opening my eyes to catch Jackson looking over to me. “It’s a no brainer you eventually grew up to become a vet.”

Jackson’s attention seems to linger in my direction half a second longer than he should take his eyes off the road before he turns forward again. I should probably stop trying to distract him from driving.

“I ruined plenty of clothes that way, actually.”

“A minor trade off.” I tuck some of my hair behind my ears, having been messed up while I was laughing probably too hard a while ago. “As long as you don’t hide animals in your jacket anymore.” I eye him suspiciously, obviously just joking.

His smile seems to grow, “Can’t show you all my tricks off the bat, now can I?”

“Guess I’ll have to keep an eye out for you in a jacket from now on.” I maintain my suspicious gaze over to him, trying to stay serious for a few seconds… and failing at that when another bubble of snickers escapes me.

“Not afraid of spiders are you?” He pats his pocket, sounding like he was just teasing.

But I could never really be sure if he was…

“You’re not serious…” I look over to his pocket for a second, before my hands instinctively go up and I move away to the edge of my seat close to the window.

Jackson laughs before putting his hand back on the wheel. “No, sorry, bad joke. I’m spider free for now.”

“Okay, great.” I relax before falling back against my seat and let myself laugh it off. “The last time I saw a spider, I shrieked.”

“Fairly standard reaction.” He sounds amused, “Although as a veterinarian, I have to care for and love all creatures.”

“Ehhhh, the shrieking was partially because of the location too.” I chuckle thinking back, shifting to make myself more comfortable in my seat. “Do veterinarians have one of those ‘do no harm’ creeds like doctors do?”

He hums, “You know I think they do. Seems like a necessary standard.”

It does sound like one.

“Where were you that a location made you shriek more than a spider?”

“You’re not gonna believe it but I…” A flashback of me accidentally falling through a bookcase’s earlier during the Selection. Remembering it all, it seemed more funny than scary, so funny that a laugh of disbelief escapes me. “I fell through a secret hallway back in the palace and I didn’t know how to get out.”

Jackson seems bewildered to hear this, “How’d you manage to do that?”

“Alright so,” I toss some of my hair back and get ready to share the experience.

“I chose this one,” I hold a finger up, wanting to tell this story as animatedly as I can right now, “book on embroidery and I'm reaching for it and leaning against the shelf because it was pretty high up. Then, suddenly the shelf I was leaning against moved and I fell through it into this dark and dusty hallway, obviously home to a couple of spiders and a colony of dust bunnies.”

A short laugh comes from Jackson. “Those secret passageways will really throw you for a loop if you’re not careful. You survived intact, I’m assuming?”

“Intact but in a great need of a shower and change of outfit.” I laugh it off, jokingly squirming at the memory of the gross feeling of all that dust sticking onto me. “Arin was the one… who,” I pause, sometimes talking about Arin was more difficult than initially talking to him. “…got me out of there.”

The smile on Jackson’s face seems to falter after I bring up Arin. “Ah. That was… lucky then.” He pauses for a considerable time before asking, “How’ve you been? After everything.”

I try to find the right words to say.

I clear my throat once I think I’ve figured what was the right thing to say.

“Ah, well, definitely less crying.” My left hand seems to fidget with my ring on my right. “We went out on another…date…? I mean if that’s what you can really call it.” I try to laugh.

“Oh? How did that go?” Jackson’s voice sounds hopeful.

It was sort of an apology date in a way, about the last time. But doing things with Arin, well- they didn’t really feel like dates. Maybe I just… need time to get to know him better.

“Oh…” I look to him, hoping that none of my overthinking about it would show up on my face. “He taught me how to swim. I never really knew how to but I guess I can float and tread water like a normal person now.”

It was very kind of Arin to try and help me with that. Safety first.

“Despite anything else, I think you could call that a personal win.”

“I think so too. Anything next to normal is a win compared to last time.” I try to laugh again, this time wishing it would help with my nerves. A thought crosses my mind. The last time Jackson and I saw each other in person, I was crying over my disastrous first date with Arin. Did I ever thank Jackson for being there? Hmmm… I should probably thank him again just in case.

“Listen… thank you again for that night. I know I’ve thanked you before but—” I turn to smile in his direction, truly grateful for having him there. “it meant the world to have someone to talk to.”

Jackson seems to sit up a tad straighter, his attention going from the road to me. He nods once, “I um—well, I offer that as long as you’d like. Friendship I mean.”

He turns his attention forward to the road again, a small smile on his face.

The words Jackson and friendship seems to just make sense. I mean, being friends with the girls was amazing—especially with having girls like Itzel to talk to, but the idea of being friends with someone outside of the Selection was more than easy to agree to.

“Having a friend around is something I’d like very much.” I smile over to him. “You’re the nicest person I’ve met since I got here.”

It was usually very rare to find the sort of genuine kindness Jackson had these days.

Jackson’s expression seems to become more bashful, “I’ve seen what this royal life can be like when you meet new people. I just… I’m glad I can provide some more normalcy for you.”

“Getting thrown into the royal life can really change a part of you.” A small laugh of agreement escapes me. “It’s good… to have people around to keep your feet on the ground. Maybe that’s why y’all seem to be a close bunch… I mean… your family and Uh… the Schreaves.”

“I don’t know.” Jackson seems to focus more on the road, switching lanes as I see an exit close by. “By now the familiarity has sort of blurred any kind of jarring reality checks.” he chuckles softly.

“I guess the jarring reality check can come along whenever you get out of the palace.” I laugh, looking out to my window. “This still looks so… different compared to what I’ve been seeing for the past two months.”

It was nice to see the city like this instead of just seeing the skyline from the palace rooftop. Angeles was so different compared to Orleans. Even their residential areas looked different compared to what I usually saw back home.

“Compared to the glittering walls and dresses?” Jackson asks in a teasing way.

“Definitely different. I can do away with the glittering walls.” I think, not being too in love with the idea with living in a place as big as the palace. “You can get so scared to walk around in those hallways since every single decoration looks like they’ll cause you an arm and a leg if you break ‘em. But the dresses?” I hum, smoothing the skirt of my yellow mini dress. “I can get use to this.

Not gonna lie, I loved my dresses in the palace the most among the Selected perks.

“They’re quite pretty.” Jackson says so as our car exits off the freeway. I feel myself smile at that comment, not sure why my face feels warm every time I hear something along the lines of that.

Jackson stops at a red light, waiting if he can make a turn and doing so when the light turns green. I haven’t really noticed it but my playlist was playing another song from a musical, You Will Be Found from Dear Evan Hansen, the song softly playing in the background while we drive. I hum along with it as we drive. In the area that we are going through, it looks like a shopping center was nearby. It was bigger than most malls I’ve usually frequented in Orleans.

Oh gosh, I missed going to malls.

Unfortunately, Jackson drives past it, telling me that it’s not much longer until we reach the shelter.

Maybe another time.

“Anything I should know about the shelter before we get there?” I ask, looking over to him.

A knowing smile tugs at his lips, “I hope you won’t mind getting fur all over that dress.”

I chuckle at his advice, scrunching up my nose with a light nah.

We stop at a nearby intersection, and Jackson makes a right where the shops grow further and further apart the more we went down the road. In fact, there were more trees now. Before I really knew it, Jackson makes a left into a parking lot. Taking in the shelter from my window. It was quite big actually, bigger than I imagined it initially. A light blue sign with a paw print with the name:

Angeles Friends for Life Animal Rescue.

I push my hair out of my face when the car comes to a stop at a spot close to the front of the shelter. My hand finds the release button of my seat belt as I say, “Looks like you guys have a fine operation out here.”

A fine operation seemed like an understatement.

He hums pleasantly at that, “We’re lucky to have wonderful management.”

Jackson looks at me, “Ready to meet everyone?”

I unplug my phone from the AUX cord and hold it in my left hand, before looking back to Jackson with a smile.

“I’m always ready.”

Jackson seems like the sound of that answer, unbuckling himself from his seatbelt. E nods and gets out of the car and waits for me to follow. Once I’m at his side, he leads the way into the building’s main entrance into a lobby area. It was as welcoming as the shelter did look on the outside. There was a blue theme going around the room, matching the sign outside. On the walls of the lobby were pictures of what I assumed to be of owners with pets who I assume were adopted from this shelter. My eyes go back and forth between that wall and the huge fish tank behind to be what seemed to be the front desk.

As Jackson leads me to it, a head pops up from below the desk, one belonging to a young man our age. I almost jump at that.

His dark hair looked like it needed a comb.

He smirks at Jackson, then his eyes shift to me, his expression shifting into a beaming smile. He stands, looking tall, lean, and well— handsome, but not quite my type.

“Jackson, my wonderful friend, now who would this be?”

My eyes go to look at Jackson, letting him reply first and I’m careful to not talk over them.

Jackson’s brows raise at that question. “Wonderful friend. Milking it, aren’t you?”

The young man clear his throat, “Come on now, I’d hate to be rude to your friend here. She’s—” he blinks and slowly points a finger between Jackson and I. “How.. what?”

Oh he must have…. Right.

I was kind of famous now, famous by association, I suppose.

The conversation seems to go silent, so I take it as my opportunity to segue and step into the conversation. I’m mindful to make my tone friendly, trying to make sure that this isn’t awkward in the very least.

“Hi there! I’m Missy Duthé.” I extend my right hand out to him over the desk. “I’m interested in workin’ with the shelter for a certain project!”

He shakes my hand, his face still looking dazed. “Missy. It’s… wow. Great to meet you.” His smile seems kinder, but still looking slightly stunned. “I’m Merrick.”

“It’s my pleasure to make your acquaintance Merrick.” I maintain my smile before taking my hand back.

“I’m going to give her a full tour. Is Julianna swamped today?” Jackson asks, and my brows raise at that.

“No no, slow afternoon. There’s a couple looking at the dogs but other than that the place is yours.” Merrick says, his eyes shifting to me, still looking surprised.

I still don’t quite understand the weird fame that being Selected afforded me, but what I do know is that people shouldn’t really be treating me any differently. I try my best to exude a calm energy to put Merrick at ease that I was normal as any Illéan girl could be.

“I was just telling Jackson how you guys have such a fine operation over here.”

“That’s kind of you.” Merrick chuckles. “It’s been years in the making. Family business.”

Jackson gestures to Merrick, “Julianna’s his mom.”

So Miss Julianna, Merrick’s mom, must be the head. I take note of that. I also take note that the shelter is actually a family business, adds to its charm in fact.

“The one and very scary only.” Merrick gives a small glance to the next door, probably scared that Julianna was going to come out.

A chuckle escapes Jackson, “Careful or I might tell her you said that.”

I make sure to nod along their conversation, “So… I suppose Miss Julianna’s the one I’m supposed to talk to about my project?”

“Her or Jackson. He knows how to run the place better than I do and I grew up here.”

Her or Jackson. I smirk over to Jackson at that.

Jackson smiles at the ground before looking to me. “Yes, she is. She can answer anything I can’t.”

I push some of my hair back, still keeping my attention on Jackson. “Well, I didn’t know what my friend was so influential over here.”

“It’s the animals. They outvoted me.” Merrick says, I catch him half-smirking over to us.

Jackson rolls his eyes and mumbles. “Sure, alright.” He clears his throat before turning to me, “We can head back now.”

“I’m sure we can trust the critters’ judgment.” I giggle before nodding to Jackson, feeling my smile grow. “Where to Mister Jackson Graham?”

“We can start with the cat room, then work our way around the building.” Jackson says, and I follow him as he leads the way, clasping my hands in front of me.

“See you later.” He calls back to Merrick.

I hear a beep from the door and see Merrick wave over to us. “Have fun!”

“Nice meetin’ you!” I say turning to Merrick’s direction for a quick second, then turning my full attention to Jackson. “How many rooms are we talkin’ about?”

“We have four.” Jackson’s voice seems to almost be accompanied by the sounds of the barks and scurrying on the ground from the rooms around us. “Two dog rooms and two cat. One’s for the older animals and the other for the younger ones, but there’s a room in between where they can play with another. Outside for the dogs well.” He gestures around the hallway as we walk together.

There’s more pictures of animals on the walls actually, like in the lobby. More stories of adoption. I try to remember the info Jackson is telling me, trying my best to make notes. I find myself getting more distracted by the pictures in the hallway. One of the pictures almost makes me stop for half a second.

A boy my age, with blue eyes hugging a Siberian husky with eyes like his.

He reminded me of Daniel and Jewel.

I wonder if Daniel took Jewel with him to Waverly.

I shouldn’t think about this anymore, letting myself continue walking with Jackson.

“So you guys mostly accept cats and dogs ‘round here?” I ask, trying to push those other thoughts away.

Jackson hums a yes. “We’d like to have more animals, but we’d need a bigger facility. That’s Julianna’s dream.” A small smile appears on his face.

We seem to approach a door with a small window that Jackson peeks inside with.

“Looks like they just finished up their lunch.” Jackson says as I try to peek through the window too, not catching a glimpse as Jackson opens the door for us. I feel myself bouncing on my heels at the sound of all the scampering inside.

The door reveals a small area with a half wall that reached my hips, dividing the room between the small area and a much larger area. We walk over to peek over the wall to see a couple of staff members in the area, more than a dozen of little kittens playing with a few bigger cats, toys scattered around the area.

If there was one thing that could make my heart melt other than weddings, it was a room full of tiny little kittens. I look over the half wall, my eyes shifting from one cat to another cat.

Oh my gosh, there was a kitten rolling a little ball around. Oh my gosh, there were a pair wrestling with each other. I feel my smile only growing as I watch them play with each other.

A thought crosses my mind.

I turn to Jackson, a little shy to ask this.

“Can I pet some of them?”

Jackson smiles back at me. “Absolutely.”

YAY.

He opens a lower door attached to the half wall, telling the other employees that we were coming in. He leads me over to a sink close to the wall, where we wash our hands before we get to hold the cats. I let Jackson go first and follow right after he finishes.

Once we finished washing our hands, Jackson goes over and kneels with two employees and chats with them. I stand close to one of the walls, trying to go unnoticed, letting myself watch Jackson talk from afar.

This was Jackson’s element. It was actually really nice to see him in it. I don’t think there wasn’t a better job for someone as kind as he was.

After a few moments, he picks up a kitten with a grin and brings her over to me. I make sure to receive her and hold her tenderly in my hands, making sure to be gentle as I held her up. My cheeks are already starting to hurt from how much I was already smiling.

“Hewoooo, what’s your name sweetie?” I ask the kitten, before looking up to Jackson and mouthing how can they be this cute?

Jackson seems to laugh at that, “That one’s Ginger.” A couple of kittens purr around Jackson’s feet and he seems to pick one up, pressing a kiss to its head.

“Ginger! Ain’t that a darlin’ name!” My smile can only grow from here, while the kitten seems to purr as I hold her close to my chest and smiling over to Jackson and the kitten he picks up. She was a pretty kitten, with pure white fur. “Jackson, what’s the name of your friend over there?”

“This here is Lucinda. She has quite the spirit.” As if to prove his point, Lucinda opens her mouth to lightly nip at Jackson’s finger.

“Hello Lucinda!” I giggle, smiling down at Ginger trying to move as I held her, making sure to give her feet some needed support. It takes me a moment to remember my purpose for coming here to the shelter. Gotta balance this play with some more work. My hand starts to stroke Ginger’s head.

“So uh… all of these kittens are rescues?”

Jackson nods. “Some have been dropped off by people who can’t find homes for them, others have been found. They usually don’t last very long as people like to adopt younger animals.” My brows raise at that statement, then Jackson gestures to Ginger, “She’s getting picked up tomorrow by a nice family.”

My hand is lightly stroking Ginger as Jackson speaks, and I smile down at Ginger.

“Isn’t that exciting Ginger? You get to have a new family!” I scrunch up my nose when my smile grows, before I look back up at Jackson—still concerned with what Jackson said. “I take it that the next room of cats has a larger population then?”

Jackson bobs his head, “Not much, thankfully. Lately there’s been an uptick in older cat adoptions, to our pleasure.”

His smile at that is different than his usual smile, happier if that was even possible for Jackson.

I like it when he smiles like that, it made his handsome face light up even more. I think I was looking at him without saying anything way longer than I should.. I try to think of something to say. Staring was rude, now just say something. Quick.

“That sounds good!” I smile down onto Ginger, and she looked like she wanted to head over to the other cats. I then place a quick kiss on her head before I set her on the ground watching her scurry to the other kittens.

“Would you like to go see the older cat room? It’s about the same layout, but I don’t mind giving you a peek.”

“Of course!” I stand up and dust some of the fur Ginger had left on my dress. “I wanna see the whole place!” I think I sounded way too excited, laughing to myself to get a hold of myself. “I just... I wanna know what I’m writing about... who I’m writing about better.”

Jackson seems to let my words sink in and his smile changes from that bright smile to something softer, still a nice smile.

“I understand. I’m… I’m glad.” He says and I wait for him to say something else as his gaze seems to linger on me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he guides the two of us out and into the next room.

((One of the things that I can’t add because MISSY IS A DUMB BITCH: The two of them not noticing the employees in the area looking at the two of them like 👀 as they leave))

We spend about an hour going through the other three rooms, mostly me just playing with all the critters and giving them the attention they deserved.

Jackson and I walk down a long corridor, feeling myself smiling as we exit the older dog area.

“I don’t understand how not a lot of people would want to adopt the older dogs!” I laugh, thinking that room probably was my favorite. “Oh Daisy almost tackled me, but gosh! She was so sweet!”

“She really was.” He smiles, “Puppies tend to be popular in this area. Lots of families. We take care of the ones that aren’t adopted anyhow.” He says fondly before his eyes glances to my dress. “You really don’t mind all that?”

I look down and notice the tons of fur sticking to my yellow dress and shake my head as I try to dust myself off.

“Nothing a lint roller couldn’t fix.” I chuckle before running a hand through my hair and noting some pet hair flying away. “Besides, I can’t exactly do the work right without getting a little messy with the critters.”

He nods, “You um..” he gestures to my hair, “have a little clump caught there.”

“Oh?” I turn to Jackson fully, trying to shake it out and comb it out. “Did I get it off?”

Jackson bites his lip and shakes his head with a small smile. He reaches over to me and I stand still, keeping my eyes on him as I feel his hand tug the fur and flick it away. He smiles to me after he does and I can’t help but smile back.

“Thank you very much Mister Jackson Graham.”

From the corner of my eye, I catch some fur sticking to his shirt, on his shoulder to be more specific.

I decide to return the favor, simply brushing it off his shoulder before we start walking again.

“Now where are we headed next?”

Jackson clears his throat, “Well, I was going to take you to Julianna if that’s alright. I figured you might have some more questions.”

“It’s more than alright!” I look over to him as we walk, “There’s the background on the shelter, current problems y’all are facing, current numbers on a lot of things going around here. Of course there’s a lot of things to ask permission about too! I wanna make sure I can let the proposal really help around here... for real.”

“Really?” Jackson asks, looking surprised.

“If there’s one thing I know how to do right, it’s executing a plan.” I smirk to him, though believing with my entire heart that my plan should really be executed. “What’s the point of planning something if you don’t see it through?”

What’s the point of a proposal if you don’t plan on executing it?

What’s the point of a proposal if you don’t plan on marrying the girl? Whoops.

I push that thought away again.

Jackson’s voice helps with that.

“Yeah. You’re right.” He looks, well—it looks more like a stare now, seems hopeful. I hope I could really help with what he’s told me about with this proposal. He seems to really listen to my words, and it’s a comfort to know that he is.

I try to mirror his expression, happy to have Jackson’s attention. “Ya know, there’s more to here,” I tap my temple. “than knowing how to plan weddings and parties.” I chuckle lightheartedly as we reach a door and stop by it.

“Is this Julianna’s office?”

Jackson nods.

“It is.” He pauses, looking like he’s about to knock at the door, but instead he turns to face me.

“I’ve always thought you’re more than planning weddings and parties, Missy. Thought you should know.”

I blink a couple of times, feeling my face warm. Well, not just my face. Everything felt warm as his words echo in my head. I don’t think he knew what those words meant to me. I’m thankful that Jackson had turned his attention away as he knocks on the door. I try to get a hold on myself.

Julianna calls out at Jackson’s knock and he enters first before I do, the two of them sharing a friendly greeting before Julianna looks over to me. Jackson then introduces me to Julianna.

I snap myself out and hope that the warmth I felt on my face didn’t show in a blush.

I move forward and extend my hand out to Julianna.

“Hi! Um, I’m Missy.” I wince, knowing that Jackson has already said my name but I try to remain calm. “I hope I haven’t come at a bad time.”

Julianna seems quite friendly as she shakes my hand from where she’s standing in front of her desk.

“Not at all. What can I do you for today?”

“Well, Miss Julianna, I’m currently working on a community engagement proposal—it's uh, a project for every Selected girl, you see-- and I was thinking of partnering up with this very shelter to be ground zero for operations.”

I look over to Jackson, silently hoping for him to tell me how I was doing. I don’t know why I’m suddenly tripping over my words.

Jackson nods once in my direction, an encouraging look on his face. I could hear him say you’re doing great with the way his eyes looked at me.

Julianna’s brows raise as she asks, “Really? What would your project entail?”

His reassurance seems to help me try to ground myself and focus on communicating this better, standing up a little straighter as I smile over to Julianna.

“I’m glad you asked.”

I take my phone out of my dress’ pocket and go through my Joogle Drive to open up the presentation deck I prepared, waiting for it to load.

“I call it Operation: Empawthy. It’s a training program for shelter animals to become therapy animals for local hospitals and community centers.” I explain as I hold my phone out for Jackson and Julianna to see. The little logo and everything I made popping up on screen, a little paw with the project title surrounding it in a circle.

“It’s been brought to my attention that... a lot of older animals that call the shelter home, and I was hoping of helping them find a purpose... beyond just waiting for adoption.”

Both Jackson and Julianna lean in to look at the presentation I made. I try to gauge their reactions. Jackson’s face seems to light up as I go through the initial slides.

Julianna seems to instantly smile, asking, “And you’d like to follow through with this? Long term?”

“Of course!” I smile at that question, excited about my plan of execution for this program. “Most of the operations and plan can be executed within the next few months.” I tap the screen and move onto my timeline slide.

I continue, “It could be executed I already have a nearby local oncology center and a social center who are willing to partner too, and well—” My brows furrow at the next thing I say, “even if I'm no longer a Selected, it's still possible to execute, even without mobilization from the Schreaves.”

Even if I did get eliminated, at least one good thing would come from me being a Selected.

Julianna moves to walk around her desk over to where I am, and I’m surprise to feel her wrap her arms around me in a meaningful hug. I glance over to Jackson while she does, catching an expression I couldn’t quite read.

“You’re the answer to so many of my questions on how to provide for these dogs.” Julianna leans back with her hands on my shoulders, smiling. “We’d be incredibly happy to have you with us.”

I smile back at Julianna, taking both of her hands in mine.

“I'll send you the primers and plans I currently have. I'm more than happy to help in every way I can!”

Julianna’s reaction seems to give me a whole new understanding for generosity and kindness. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I got to plan something meaningful and grounded in something beyond weddings or parties.

I wasn’t going to lie, it felt freaking good.

“You’ll have to thank Jackson too for bringing me all the way here though.” I turn to Jackson as I say that. I definitely wouldn’t have thought of this fully without remembering what he had said to me.

Julianna waves a hand, “Jackson has my eternal thanks. Bringing you here only goes to show his incredible judgement.”

Jackson looks down with a smile at Julianna’s compliment, before looking back up at Julianna with amusement.

“Kiss up.” He says.

She reaches out and gives Jackson a side hug across his shoulders. “And not ashamed of it.”

I don’t get why Merrick would ever call her scary.

I can’t help but laugh at the banter between them, tucking my hair behind both of my ears.

“Incredible judgment indeed!” I nod a couple of times, clasping my hands in front of me. “Thank you for letting me loop the shelter into this. I promise you both this project isn't gonna disappoint. That's a Duthé promise.”

“I have a feeling that’s a promise never broken.” Jackson says softly, his smile very soft.

Julianna seems to pause briefly at that, her smile not faltering.

“Once we receive all your information, I’ll keep close touch with you. Everyone will be so thrilled.”

I turn to Jackson, looking to him with an amused expression.

“You’re right, it’s never broken.” I punctuate that with a wink to him before I nod over to Julianna and quickly slip my calling card out of my phone’s card holder.

I always kept copies of it in case I met a potential wedding client but, it would work for now what with all my contact details on it. Let’s hope Julianna would just ignore all the wedding planner details on it.

“This is my card, I'll be probably contacting you through the email and number here. If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know. We'll definitely keep in touch.”

Julianna takes the card from me and sets it on her desk with a thank you, then mentions to us that she needed to get back to work and Jackson excuses us. He mentions that he’ll be back in the evening as we leave her office before Jackson leads me back into the hallway. I don’t forget to say a quick thank you before we leave.

“That was… wow.” He says once we’re outside of Julianna’s office. I try to eye Jackson’s reaction before I let myself smile and do a little happy dance, unable to control how happy I felt.

“OH MY GOSH!” my voice seems to go up another octave before I reach over and give Jackson a hug. “Thank you so so much for bringing me here and helping me make this happen!”

Jackson seems to laugh as he catches me, and I feel his hand going to my back.

“You were the one with the incredible ideas. It was wonderful, Missy.”

((Another thing I can’t write BUT I SCREECHED: */like you/* he thinks))

I pull away from him, still grinning but feeling a little shy with Jackson’s compliment. My face starts to feel warm again. I try to ignore it this time. I’m probably just too happy with getting the shelter as a partner.

“I’m so happy that you think so. I just thought—” My phone suddenly starts to ring, an alarm going off as I quickly reach into my pocket to snooze it.

5:30. Prepare for Dinner. I see on the screen.

Jackson still watches me as I handle it, “Everything alright?”

I stuff my phone back into my dress’ pocket and nodding, not letting the alarm dampen the mood.

“Yeah! I just... have alarms for whenever I probably should change or get ready for dinner at the palace.” I explain with a little laugh. “As I was saying, uh...” I’m trying to remember what I was going to say a few seconds ago, but I’ve completely lost my train of thought.

“Okay honestly, thank you for the moral support.” I decide to thank Jackson again for being there, then I lower my voice jokingly, “Julianna... kinda did scare me.”

Hmmm, maybe that’s why I was stumbling over my words initially.

Jackson chuckles at that, “She’s a bit intimidating at first, but there’s nothing to be afraid of. She loved you.” I laugh lightly and try to shrug it off.

Then he gestures to the phone in my pocket.

“I guess I should um, be getting you back now?”

I nod slowly, feeling a little sad that I was already leaving the shelter. I think I’ve enjoyed myself here way more than I expected.

“Are you sure it’s too much to ask from you?” I wanted to make sure that he was alright with it, knowing that he was going to come back here anyway. He’s already done so much for me already.

He tilts his head. “Driving you to the palace? No, of course not.” A growing smile appears on his face.

“I’d love to.”

His smile seems to put me at ease, so I loop my arm around his and smile to him.

“Then I guess we better get going, Mister Jackson Graham.”

Jackson doesn’t say anything, only keeping his smile to me and leading the way back.

#missy duthe #missy fics #((missy and jackson are just trying to outsimp each other ngl))#((THEY'RE SIMPS BUT WITH RIGHTS))#~jackson tag #selectionoc

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addictedforbooksquad · 5 years

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B O O K R E V I E W

╙ T H E Q U E E N O F N O T H I N G B Y H O L L Y B L A C K

genre: fantasy, young adult

publication date: 19th November, 2019

rating (1-5 scale):

writing: ★ ★ ★ ★

characters & character development: ★ ★ ★ ★

could-not-put-it-down factor: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

general rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS!

“By you, I am forever undone.”

Exhilarating. Feels-inducing. Heart-attacking. I didn't just read this book. I devoured it. Inhaled it through my pores. Drank it in with haste and thirst as if indulging in faerie wine after a year-long fast. Perhaps from a storytelling point of view, this wasn't as good as “The Wicked King” but nevertheless, I revelled in every single page. I read it in one go, from cover to cover, and all I can say is that it was absolutely worth a sleepless night. And then it left me so satisfied and full of reflections and feelings, then I just cannot stop thinking about it. And aren't those books, which leave us content and sated, and yet somehow yearning for even more of a good thing, just the best? Now, onto the details, the good and (despite 5-star rating) the bad: I. the sister thing Anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely hated Taryn in the first two books. Betrayal of her sister aside, I just found her utterly and unforgivably...boring. In "The Queen of Nothing" though, I was happy to discover depths to her character that weren't that fleshed out before. From killing Locke (YASSS!!!) to standing up to Madoc, side by side with Jude and Vivi, Taryn finally showed with her ACTIONS, not words, which side she is on. And look, this perhaps doesn't erase what she did to Jude in “The Cruel Prince” but I liked how the story unfolded between them in this last installment. This is not a series about pure-hearted good characters. They all did awful things. They all did some of those awful things to each other. So in the end, I'm glad there was no "grovelling" on Taryn's part, no act of "official" forgiveness. That's not how things work in Faerie. More than that, all the sisterly moments! Loved them! Whether it was Taryn trying to gossip about Cardan with Jude or the three sisters united against Madoc, it was great to see a positive sister relationship in a fantasy for once. I definitely prefer them together than apart and set up against each other. II. the trick thing I had lots of theories after finishing "The Wicked King" about Cardan banishing Jude from Elfhame and damn, do I have a satisfaction of getting it at least partially right. I know a lot of people hated what Cardan did in TWK but personally, I loved that plot twist. I thought it evened out the playing field between them and I always knew there was more to it anyway. And would you look at that, it was indeed a trick! When Jude and Cardan reunited and he was so utterly confused that Jude WASN'T proud of him for pulling one over her...priceless. He did it to impress her. He did it to protect her (and his kingdom). He did it to, let's face it, get back at her. It's so wonderfully twisted, my pitch-black heart rejoices and flutters. Added to that delicious cake of dark and twisted is a cherry of irony on top which is the fact that Jude did realize that she could pardon herself...and didn't. She, who is usually so smart and devious and quick to pick up on other people being smart and devious, wasn't able to see through the smoke screen and guess Cardan's true intentions. Which isn't that surprising to me, because when it comes to feelings, my daughter Jude is the most hopeless and oblivious person in that fantasy realm. That lack of trust in Cardan cost her and it only underlined what needed to change - to be able to rule together, Jude and Cardan need to lower their defences when it comes to one another. But more on that in the next point. III. the love thing Jude and Cardan's dynamic has been one of my very favourite things about this series from the start. I love them both as characters and I love them as a ship. I was happy to find out that what unravelled between them in this last installment was utterly (with some minor mishaps) satisfying. Their reunion, untangling the coiled web of mistrust and misunderstandings, learning to trust and be trusted...it was everything. I longed to see them as allies and a team, rather than enemies and reluctant/forced co-operators from the start (not that it wasn't fun to see them as enemies and reluctant allies, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN) and here I got what I wished for. Love scenes, their talk of lowering their shields, those that had been kept up for so so long, melted my heart. Cardan's love confession? Perfect! And so fitting for him in my opinion. Only he would say ILY in such an off-handed manner.

Basically:

"Hi you probably already know this because you're so smart (and I love you) but I've loved you for a long time, OK we got stuff to do BYE" Perfection 😍😂 Cardan was also, quite obviously, Jude's first stan, and I just live for relationships like that. And the longing between them was so palpable. Especially in Cardan's letters to Jude, I could feel how much he missed his Queen *ugly weeping* I'd say that Jude's confession could've been handled better, as in, there could've been even more build-up to it, considering how good she is at holding on to her walls and defences. Still, I loved it in its own way. IV. the character development thing I know there are some who were dissatisfied with the plot twist and the ending. Personally, I thought it was very fitting though. The decision that Jude faces? Between love and power, between her own humanity and the possibility of utter control over Cardan? That dilemma was the best way to capture the character development she had gone through throughout this series. Ever since the beginning, Jude had been wondering about one thing - where will she draw a line? Is there a line that she won't cross to get more power? She got her answer in this book. As Jude was making her choice between killing Cardan or killing her chances at ruling Elfhame, I was crying heavy tears of someone who had witnessed a painful yet utterly satisfying journey. Jude had always been scared. Jude had always resented being weak and human. Jude had always craved power and security for herself. Jude had always hated being vulnerable and relished in the control she gained over Cardan. And with her choice, she embraced so much of what she had once resented. She chose hardship and uncertain future and opened herself up to being hurt. She chose love. She chose being human and weak and what-the-hell-I'll-deal-with-it-because-I'm-not-weak-at-all. She chose Cardan. *this reviewer took a 5-minute break at this point to wipe off all the tears from her keyboard* The point is, I loved the character development this choice represented and yet, Jude also remained very much herself by doing this. V. the loose thread thing Not to be overly sweet on this book, there were also some loose ends, all right. For one, I wish the relationship between Cardan and his mother was explored more, same with more insight into Jude's biological parents, especially her mother. It seemed like it was teased a lot in two previous installments and yet, I didn't experience nearly as much delivery as I expected on those subjects. I just wish there was more on this. VI. other things

Cardan calling Jude his wife, THE FEELS ARE REAL

the not-so-subtle hinting at the possible Taryn-Ghost romance, I dig it

loved the conclusion to Jude and Madoc relationship, he got exactly what he deserved

onto punishment topic, I also loved that Cardan left that responsibility solely within Jude's power

underlining the fact that Cardan is very stable in his feelings, very un-faerie-like was very much appreciated, I love one (1) Faerie boy

Vivi and Heather getting their HEA as well, YESSSS

the symbolism of Cardan creating two thrones from one, my heart stopped

Cardan in the mortal world (P.S. I NEED MORE OF THIS, approximately 483949 pages more)

I could go on and on but there was just so much - and in such a (relatively) short book too. What I will say is this - The Folk of the Air had been shaping up to be one of my favourite fantasy series, and "The Queen of Nothing" made it into a fact. Which it could have very well failed to do, as it often happens with final books in a series. Because ever since I finished "The Wicked King", I've been holding my breath, waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop and for this final book not to live up to the very high expectations I've had for a conclusion not only to a great series, but also some of my very favourite characters and relationships. But after reading this, "I feel as though I can finally breathe again."

#the folk of the air #the queen of nothing #queen of nothing spoilers #book recs #jurdan #litedit #bookworm #bibliophile #book reviews #jude duarte #prince cardan #our reviews #by kate

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orchidhearted · 4 years

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1 of ?: YES on all those points!!! Connie is such an amazing character. She always cared so much and loved him no matter what. When he was afraid to disagree with her about the book she was SO understanding. It hurts that he went along with her thoughts because he was probably so afraid that disagreeing would push her away. I wonder how often he did that with others, and they weren't even as close with him.

obligatory disclaimer: i love almost all the characters in su and this is in NO WAY bashing them OR the show!! i have so much respect for rebecca sugar, the crewniverse, and steven universe as a whole so!!! these are just my personal opinions :) enjoy!!

1: Y E S!! god i stan connie maheswaran so much?? book club KILLED me because looking back it really further displayed steven’s willingness to brush away his own opinions for the sake of having connie still LIKE him and GOD i’ve been there before and it S U C KS!!! i may stan connie but i Relate to steven on an Unhealthy Level like. damn. steven has shown SO MANY TIMES that he’s willing to go along with almost anything in order to keep people liking him and it HURTS!!!! like steven!!! sweetie!!! that’s why i hate/love the old seasons because its SO PROMINENT!!!! he’s always putting other’s needs and opinions before his own and?? that shit Hurted

2: i’m actually SO HAPPY that connie walked away from steven during the beginning of dewey wins!! it hurt me but!! steven wasn’t getting her point that he could have GENUINELY D I E D and he??? didn’t care???? i’m incredibly happy that the crewniverse showed steven slowly realizing that what he did was Wrong and hurt people instead of helping them?? the ONLY reason why i don’t 100% despise kevin is that his actions essentially forced them to talk and make up and thats IT!! lars before his zombification was actually?? one of my least favorite characters ngl,,, like. damn. at least sadie was hella sweet??? like yeah steven was this kind of annoying kid but at least sadie was Polite because?? damn. steven never went to school so he barely interacted with people his age!! what else was he supposed to do!!!! i’m very very happy that lars and steven were able to actually grow closer??? like. they’re bros now and i have Mad Respect for that!! the circumstances in which they bonded were...not ideal, but,, it be like that

3: steven has a BIG heart!!!! he’s full of love!! (and trauma,,,) like i said last paragraph he!! barely interacted with kids his age!! and that’s part of the reason why i still lowkey resent greg and the gems!!! i get WHY he never went to school because of Gem Stuff but STILL!!!! the only interactions with people relatively close to his age (before he met connie) were sadie/lars, peedee, and the cool kids!! that’s IT!!! the rest of the time was either spent on his own, with his dad, or with the gems!!! he’s Very Emotionally Intelligent, but he also has a tendency of misinterpreting emotions as well, ie with sadie and lars’ relationship. island adventure features my favorite su song by far, but it also has so much information on steven,,, like. “the gems will notice when i’m missing!” i SWEAR there was an underlying “maybe” and that HURT ME SEVERELY!!! just. g o d. that’s why, as i’ve said previously, i absolutely ADORE time travel aus because older steven just looks at his younger self and has a moment of “oh god i need to help this poor child,,, hey steven Stop Putting Others Before Yourself Please and Thank You”,, tbh i will (platonically) simp for time travel au authors,, y’all really out here doin gods work huh,,,

4: SELF TAUGHT BEHAVIOR. Y E S. PRECISELY!!! this POOR KID!!!! fucking!!! from a young age he taught himself that he had to basically Become Rose Quartz!!! and deal with her shit!!! yes it was HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY THE GEMS (coughMOSTLYPEARLcough), but at the same time he taught himself that if he didn’t act like rose, the gems wouldn’t want him. he taught himself to put others before himself, which is a Good Ideology but is ALSO incredibly dangerous because it leads to pushing down/ignoring your OWN emotions for the sake of everybody else. i’m so glad steven was able to receive the help he needs and DESERVES after 16-17 years dedicated to Putting Everyone Before Himself.

5: yes. exactly. all of steven’s relationships were centered around “i need to constantly pay attention to how THEY are feeling and Fix All The Bad Things so they’ll Need Me and Want Me Around”. it’s like he said in prickly pair!! “why do i need to be needed?” suf had SO MANY good elements and i WISH it extended for more episodes so we could really see steven’s full breakdown, at least part of his recovery, and finally him moving on!! but unfortunately we couldn’t

anyway in conclusion su and suf really came for my throat and that’s on being the Therapist Friend(tm)

anon!! ily and thank u SO much for the asks!!!! i hope you have a great day/night!!!

#steven universe #su #suf #steven universe future #connie maheswaran #argle's opinions #argle answers!#anon ask #by far my favorite anon #opinions #su discourse #maybe???? ill just put it Just In Case #su opinions

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sleepingfancies · 5 years

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please go off abt detective loki,,, im curious to hear what u have to say abt him!!! 💖

*SLAMS CHAIR DOWN*

SO. YOU WANT ME TO GO OFF ABOUT LOKI.

Praying for you that this read more link works bc otherwise this is gonna be a Cursed Post to all my poor followers. Shit gets long. I have A Lot to say akdjfshfk

Thanks to the investigative skills of the amazing and wonderful @deputyrook (ily), I recently learned that Detective Loki’s backstory included such things as: serving time in juvie, he was formerly religious, and he also possibly suffered from some kind of drug addiction he’s now clean from. It was briefly mentioned in the movie that he spent 6 years in a boys’ home (a rather rough one, by the way Loki talked about it). Boys’ homes are, by definition, “residential sectors where boys are provided food and care when they cannot be adequately cared for by their families, either due to a family crises or the child’s own behavioral issues.”

What this tells me is that:

A) Loki most likely had some heavy childhood trauma that drove him into being a “bad kid” (not that such a thing actually exists, imo, but that’s another essay for another day). It probably took well over a decade to get himself stabilized.

B ) Loki of present day has no family, no personal connections, no friends, absolutely nothing to call his own except the clothes on his back, his car, and... maybe a place to live? I assume he has one somewhere, but we never see him there - he’s constantly either prowling around town or at the station.

C) Loki’s occult tattoos, and his general distaste for anything religious, probably come from an internal place of feeling like some higher power abandoned him along the way. I have no doubt he carefully selected each one to have some personal meaning, but ultimately they all tie back to distancing himself from Christianity (double that if he was religious as a child, or came from a religious family). This also makes me wonder if his last name was something else, and that he changed it to “Loki” upon getting himself back on his feet.

D) Heading off of the boys’ home note; boys’ homes, like most other institutions in the US, legally can’t force residents to stay once they turn 18. Assuming his time there ended at 6 years because he aged out and went off on his own, well, for one that means he was admitted when he was 12 years old. Which is... wow. For two, that means his behavior was never necessarily resolved. Which, given how Jake plays Loki, I’m inclined to believe (I’ll touch on that later).

All of this leads me to some interesting observations during the movie.

For one, Loki is amazing at staying the “adult in the room” in the face of belligerence (e.g. Keller Dover losing his shit in Loki’s car). I know personally, it is almost physically impossible for me not to get my back up when someone else decides they want to take some aggressive tone with me - and I am about as far as one can get from a “troubled kid.” So I have to wonder how many years and how much abuse Loki endured to be able to choose not to respond to people antagonizing him? I have a hard time believing it was just police training that got him to this place of neutrality. And it seems to me like he’s making a genuine effort to stay calm, and to calm the people around him (”please just let me do my job”).

Which leads me into something Mrs. Dover said. “They say you’ve solved every case you’ve ever had, is that true?” And to be fair, I assume Loki’s silence there is supposed to imply that that isn’t true, but it implies so much beyond that. It implies he puts 100% effort into his cases, that he barely sleeps when he knows there’s a chance he can put dangerous people behind bars and save innocent lives. It also implies he feels deeply about the cases he hasn’t solved, or the ones where he got the perpetrator put away but the victims didn’t make it out alive. He carries that with him, constantly.

We see more of this when Keller recognizes his daughter’s bloody sock. His immediate response is to blame Loki. “This is your fault. You didn’t try hard enough. You did this to my daughter.” And Loki says nothing, he doesn’t make any different expression - but his eyes twitch. Jake Gyllenhaal remarked that this was a physical tic he improvised for Loki, one that served as Loki’s channel for intense emotions and/or becoming overstimulated with thoughts and information. Rather than actually emote, his eyes twitch. There is nothing newly informative or particularly overstimulating about the bloody sock scene, which leaves only intense emotion to be the cause of that twitch. And given Loki’s panic when he was searching Bob’s house and boxes for Anna and Joy, I doubt it’s anger. I’m willing to bet it’s that Loki already feels that way. He’s blaming himself. Keller just spoke Loki’s own feelings into existence.

I’ll circle back to that in a minute, because I think Loki making his cases so personal is very telling of his character.

Now, to go back and touch on why I think it’s most likely Loki aged out of the boys’ home rather than graduated - Loki has adapted with his behavior, he hasn’t resolved it at all. It does not seem to me at all like Loki has therapeutic strategies, especially considering I’m 99% sure any therapist or behavior counselor would not encourage bottling up your emotions and disconnecting yourself from human contact. Loki made these steps on his own. He learned to redirect his anger to people who deserved it by becoming part of law enforcement. He decided that he was safer closed off and unavailable to intense emotions. He might’ve even decided other people were safer stuck on the other side of his walls.

There are a whole of two times Loki clearly loses his temper - when Bob keeps drawing mazes rather than giving him a straight answer, and when Bob kills himself and Loki realizes he just lost his best lead. While these are both reasonable things to get worked up about, he reacts so intensely and so personally to them that (circling back to my earlier point) it tells me, deep down, there is an incredibly soft and vulnerable heart in there that’s been locked up for decades.

Loki didn’t want Bob to kill himself. He didn’t mean for things to escalate that far. You can hear it in his voice, he’s genuinely shaken and upset by what just happened. In the following scene when he basically destroys his desk, that is directed at no one and nothing but himself. He’s so angry at himself - for not understanding Bob’s maze, for getting Bob killed, for having to tell the Dovers their one suspect is gone, for feeling helpless when it comes to finding the girls. Loki doesn’t deal well with other people’s failure, but he doesn’t even accept his own.

And I mean - do I even need to mention when he finds Anna? The man is bleeding profusely from a bullet wound in his head, he’s half unconscious, he’s a long way from the hospital, but he doesn’t even think about any of that. He makes it his one singular goal to get her to the emergency room even if he dies trying. And the way he talked to her? “Stay with me Anna, don’t die, just hold on.” I know on the surface it’s obviously just a tactic to keep her (and himself, let’s be honest) awake. But it was so deeply feeling, so honest, so raw, so panicked?

I don’t know, man. I’ve said things to other people before that I wished someone had said to me, and that’s what those lines sounded like to me. Which, if he had been a drug addict at one point, and if he overdosed but no one was there for him? The puzzle pieces fit.

And then to have people visit him in the hospital? To have someone call him a hero? He has no idea how to react to that, because I’m guessing neither of those things have ever happened to him before. And he isn’t really sure what to say to someone being so overwhelmingly grateful for and to him. So he doesn’t really say anything. His eyes just twitch. We can fill in the blanks.

The man has a soft heart, a vulnerability that he refuses to let anyone see, but it’s there. He’s just as scared and angry and confused as Keller 90% of the time. He just hides it better.

Which, ultimately all of this leads me to the conclusion that - for as far as Loki’s distanced himself from religion, as clean as he is now, as stable as he is, as well as he’s channeled his anger, as guarded as he keeps himself - this entire job, to him, is a chance at redemption.

Loki doesn’t think he’s deserving of love. He doesn’t believe he’s capable of having the kind of stability the Dovers are so familiar with. He doesn’t think he can just slide into a friend group after all these years. He doesn’t regard his own life highly. But the ability to save other people’s lives and keep dangerous people locked away - that’s his apology to the world. Of course he cares about these cases because he’s a good man, but it’s more than that. It’s that he believes this is the only way he cant repent for not always being a good man.

Which leads me to his first name. I’ve rambled about the symbolism of his name to @deputyrook before, but David. David. Given all of the Biblical symbolism in this movie, personally my mind immediately leaps to David and Goliath.

David - detective Loki and his desire to be a good man - is in a constant war against Goliath - Loki’s own trauma and troubled past. And there really isn’t a way to have one without the other, which makes Loki’s character so tragic. He isn’t ever going to heal, not completely, not when his entire career is him trying to apologize over and over again. He solves almost all the cases he’s given because he won’t, can’t, accept more failure.

Loki’s last line in the movie is “pray for the best, prepare for the worst.” For being a character so deeply centered in anti-religion, that’s an odd line to make his last. Combine that with how strange it is that he wouldn’t also change his first name, if he changed his last name to distance himself from religion. His name, and that last line, might just be symbolic of the few shreds of hope he has for himself. Hope that maybe he can have what the Dovers have, the hope that maybe one day when he’s gone he’ll be remembered by somebody and for something good.

Because that’s really all he wants, all he can hope, for himself. Since he doesn’t think he’ll ever have human connection, or love, or a family - as much as he would like to have those - he’ll settle for being just a little more than somebody’s bad memory, or being a little more than some name on a headstone.

#anon you are the kindest person i've ever known for indulging me about this #sksksksk #detective loki #it's my fucking boyfriend!!#anonymous #answered #i am VERY soft about this man #because he feels *so much* but he'll never let anyone know that #deep down he's just some 12 year old angry kid who never got what he needed #so he's settled for never getting it #UGH i'm soft #tw drug mention #tw suicide #tw suicide mention #long post #longpost #Anonymous

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lachalaine · 5 years

Text

2020′s on the Way !! ✨

accepting

@secrecykept submitted:

It’s the end of 2019 and I finally have time to do this meme I’ve been wanting to do for ages even if I’m not good at getting things like this out, I always forget things or don’t get them out right but here we go.

In this essay I will love on you and Jackie forever and ever…kdjnfkdnfknd

My girl, my bby, my sweetest crab cake and twinsie, you are so so important to me. You are so sweet and kind, you always know just what to say, and talking to you always eases my heart. You are amazing and so giving, you do so much for others but I’m glad for the times you take care of yourself, you deserve happiness and relaxation for yourself.

You are so smart, always having such great insights, your opinions and thoughts mean so much to me and I always want to talk things over with you because I know you will steer me right and you actually care. Life has been really hard on you, but you are so strong and will always make it through.

I’m so lucky to have you in my life, you’re the most amazing and easiest person to talk to. I love that you get me so well, and talking with you is always a highlight. I really don’t know what would have happened if we didn’t become close when we did. You have been such a positive influence in my life, and I can only hope I can do as much for you as you do for me. Chatting and plotting with you is the best, it has gotten me through so much. You are so good and so much fun to plot with, I have never had it so seamless. Your ideas are always so good and I love hearing what you think about certain scenarios and ideas.

And the way you have always been so accepting of All my muses ngjgghhjjj it means so much more than I can say. I know my kids are safe with you and Jackie. I can’t tell you enough that I’m so lucky and grateful to have you as a friend and writing partner. You are so supportive and have the sweetest heart.

I think I said the other day that your opinion means the mostest to me and it really really does, in all things but especially in writing. You are so smart and talented, your style is so pretty and unique, always flowing so well and being full of personality. You have a gift with tone and pace and mood, I always admire the words and feel that your writing gives. You’re hard on yourself and get stuck trying for perfection, but I look up to you so much, your writing is such an inspiration to me. I know you always want to give people your best, and you consistently do! And you are so amazing and smart with the way you notice things in my writing and others, and I always love seeing what you pick up from things, it’s always a good surprise and insight.

And let me talk about your girl. Jackie is my absolute favourite oc, my favorite muse. From the first time I read her info a couple of years ago I was amazed. There is so much to her that i love. A DJ oc? Super cool! Reincarnation? Super duper cool! Norse Mythology! Exciting!! She has a purple hair! I’m in love. Jackie has such a gorgeous design I legit feel my heart doki every time I look at her or think about it. I love that her hair is naturally black and she has to go through such effort to get it the way she wants, I love the depth and thought you’ve put into every bit of her. I love her mahogany eyes and her distinct sense of style. I love her humour and strength and the way she is so real. She has gone through so much and doesn’t always deal with it in a healthy way, she’s human.

And I’m so proud of her and the ways she has grown. I have never been so invested in another muse before but your girl has me wanting to read every little thing about her and to see her continue to grow. Her happiness means so so much to me, I would do anything for her! I admire all the thought, depth and effort you put into your posts for you. I will forever say your blog is my favourite, I can’t get over the quality of writing, aesthetics, musings and everything. You are the Best, every post is a total gem.

I could keep going forever but lemme just conclude. 2019 has been a good year because I’ve had you as a friend and writing partner. I’ll always be so grateful for the fact we started talking, it was ages ago now but I appreciate it so much. All I wish for 2020 is for you to have the best year, you deserve fun and happiness and all the good things. I hope we can continue talking and writing together. Thank you for existing, light of my life! ily lots always. Biggest huggies! (pls just accept my love and dont feel like u gotta reply on all this okie dokie)

momo, oh my gosh bby :((( i don’t know what to say :((( this is so much to take in, and it is so sweet, and honest to god, i couldn’t manage to read it all in one go earlier because i couldn’t keep from bawling like a baby every other paragraph :((( i am too soft and fragile for such lovely and kind words, i cannot handle it :c but my gosh, i have never, ever appreciated a message more!!

there’s so much here to unpack but i don’t think i can do my feelings justice. all i can tell you is that i am so, so, so very glad that i met you, momo! honestly and with all my heart, that is the most genuine truth i have! you have been a blessing for me in so many ways since we’ve met, you’ve taken care of me even when i’ve been super darn messy in all my moods and have been endlessly understanding, even with all my faults :c you have given me so much calm and peace in the time that i’ve known you, have eased a lot of my anxiety just by being here, just by being my friend, and i can honestly say i don’t even know what it feels like anymore – i don’t remember what it feels like for my anxiety to be so bad :c you have helped me more then you know, more then i could ever say, and though i always, always wish i could do so much more for you and be around more often and not poof inconsistently like i do, because god knows you deserve only the Best and most sincere amount of Effort in the World !! - i’m just so, so comforted by the fact that somehow, even despite everything — it seems i’ve been able to do just enough 🤗💖

gosh momo, i am glad. more then anything, i will tell you that i am so glad - that i’ve been able to be your confidant all this while, that i’ve been able to ease some of your concerns, that i’ve been able to help you and be a positive influence in your life, because more than anything and with all my heart do i wish you could be happy and thriving and living your best life every single day! you deserve all the good that the world can give you, and i’m glad that you’re slowly but surely getting the tools to achieve it! you have grown so much in the time i’ve known you, even if you might not always feel the same way, but i see the changes that have occurred in you, occurred in your life, and all i can wish for is that it continues for the better ❤ you are so very capable and so very wonderful and talented and good, so vibrant and positive and creative and sweet, and i am hopeful that i can help you realize this bit by bit every single day. you are of my bestest friends, my absolutely favorite blog, my favorite writer with literally ALL my favorite muses of all time! muses who are so unique and different and special and so wonderful in so many ways!! and by god, but the mere fact that jackie was somehow lucky enough to catch all their attentions! and the fact that they feel comfortable enough to be with her the way they do! they are so precious and wonderful and incredible, and i’m honestly in awe of everything we’ve come up with! all the ideas that are so different from each other yet each have their own special qualities ❤ it has been such a treat for us since day 1! and gosh, but it is my pleasure and honor that i am able to give jackie to you and your kids, because i know she’s safe with all of them too. even when things go south, i know she’s safe. i know our friendship is safe. i know everything that occurs is good and there’s a reason for it, and if nothing else we’ll figure it out and we’ll have so much fun doing it, and i am honestly one of the luckiest people on this website - to have stumbled on someone who gets me so well too, who is so seamless to write with, who listens and cares and understands, and gives me a reason to do my best every single time! 🤗💖 you are the easiest person for me to talk to as well, you make my heart warm and make me cry sometimes because i do adore you so, so much, with all my heart, and the warmth of your presence is a gift i could never repay 💖

i’m so happy we found each other when we did, i’m blessed that we were there for each other when we needed a friend. i think we were really meant to find each other, and i’ll be endlessly grateful that i got this chance, because honestly speaking, i wouldn’t change you at all for anything in the world!!

i’m glad i can be there for you! i’m glad i can be a positive influence for you! i’m glad i can do my best for you, even when i might not always be around in my fullest capacity! i’m glad it has helped you when you needed it most 💕 i’m glad my words can give you some peace, even just a bit hihi 🤗 thank you for all that you do for me in turn! thank you for always listening to me when i needed to vent and cry, for understanding when i couldn’t be around. thank you for granting me the compassion i needed to be better to myself. thank you for always appreciating my writing and my daughter and for inspiring me and teaching me to write better!! thank you for even always giving me the urge TO write !! thank you for always doing your best even when you are a soft marshmallow, and for always writing LIKE AN ABSOLUTE QUEEN AND FOR ALWAYS GIVING ME THE GOOD PLOTS AND SHIPS AND RAMBLES AND FOR ALWAYS SHARING AS MUCH AS U COULD WITH ME BECAUSE IT HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH MY DARKEST DAYS AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT U 😭😭😭 you have been! an absolute gift! a blessing ! an angel !! and i am so lucky to be your twinsie and be able to have this connection with you, my best girl!

jackie and i are the luckiest! we are the LUCKIEST and i will scream about you and your kids to anyone that will listen ( and even to those who don’t ) for the rest of my fucking days !!!!!! you and your work! the dedication and thought you put in! the writing and the ideas and everything in between ! you deserve to be appreciated and adored and you deserve all the appreciation and admiration in the world! and i am lucky ! i am lucky that i got this chance !! to be your twin! to be your friend! to be your writing partner with each and every one of our kids!!! you mean the world to me, momo! an inspiration like no one else! who has taught me so much, who has given me and my muse so much, and is the main and literal REASON that i am still here and will KEEP COMING BACK, the reason that jackie herself has grown and experienced as much love and affection and positive change as she has! you and your muses are the reason she is getting healthier, the reason she feels more like herself again after everything! the reason she is happy, the reason i’m able to explore her in ways i could never manage before because nothing ever felt right, and yet with your kids - they all feel so natural. thank you for accepting her in her entirety, THANK U FOR LOVING HER IN ALL THE WAYS THAT U DO AND FOR HAVING AS MUCH INTEREST IN HER AS U DO !!! and thank you endlessly for giving us as much effort and dedication as you have! writing with you has been the best experience ever, it’s been so much fun and you’re so smart and talented and imaginative and creative and adshbhdbsahdbas i just!! i adore you!! i adore your writing and your talent and your style and you and everything and anything in between! you are such a spark of delight and i love you with my heart, bby!!! i look up to you in every way!!

you are the best person to write with, the person to plot with, the best person to be friends with, and i’m so happy i found you! and i just want u to know i appreciate it all !!! thank u for always spoiling us the way you do with all the good shippies 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 I HOPE WE CAN CONTINUE TO DO MORE FOR U AND YOUR KIDS IN THE YEARS TO COME !!!!! i love you so much, momo!!! with all my heart!! thank you for a wonderful and enjoyable 2019, and happy new year, my best girl!! to better days and a brighter future for us both in 2020, to more chatting and to more fun, more writing plots, more ships and threads and au’s every other day heheheheh 💕💕💕💕 i send u the biggest huggies every single day !! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

// @secrecykept

#&& make sure the stars is what you aim for (positivity)#secrecykept #&& waste time with a masterpiece (answered asks)#/ i cannot just accept ur love #/ it is not possible #/ I MUST SHOWER U WITH MY LOVE IN RETURN #/ MOMOOOOOO I LOVE U SO MUCH !!!#/ THANK U FOR ALL THAT U DO FOR ME #/ I LEGIT CRIED #/ SO MUCH WHILE READING THIS #/ I WENT FULL SOBBING #/ and just when i needed it the most !! 😭😭😭#/ you are so sweet and lovely and wonderful momo how could i ever deserve u #/ how could i get so lucky #/ YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO ME #/ thank u for always being there for me and always being so wonderful all day everyday #/ you are a gem and i adore u with every inch of my heart!!!#/ i love u !! so much!!#/ HAPPY NEW YEAR MY BEST GIRL AND I WISH A STUPENDOUS CELEBRATION FOR US BOTH !!!#/ YOU QUEEN !!!!!#&& pre recorded tracks (queue)#submission

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wcsted-blog1 · 6 years

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this is a long and somewhat emotional follow forever , as i feel it’s genuinely the most MEANINGFUL one i have done so far ?? like genuinely i did tear up a little writing this shit so . . . i just want to thank you all not gonna lie , simply because you guys are the best , and i mean it with all of my heart , some of you quite literally STOPPED ME from giving up writing as a whole without even realising , because yeah , early january i did think of quitting , i was so close to , it would’ve taken a little push and i would’ve quite literally deleted this and all of my previous accounts , but i can tell you right now - i am SO GLAD that i did not. it’s all because of you !!

please CTRL + F AND SEARCH FOR YOUR USERNAME , IT’S FASTER THAN SCROLLING LMFAO

to be fair this follow forever is just an excuse to be able to thank you guys publicly. some of you already know how much i appreciate you , with the random I LOVE YOU ALL’s in group chats or just me genuinely being an annoying cunt and bugging you 24/7 , some others i’m may be more shy about or i just simply admire you from afar , - and regardless of whether we talk or not , if you’re on here it just means you’ve somehow helped me , to not quit , stopped me from doing so as a whole , and have helped me to keep doing this thing i’ve been doing for almost five years now. i have to say it would’ve probably been one of my biggest mistakes to just QUIT , so i am here to T H A N K Y O U , for inspiring me , for helping me grow as a writer , for helping me with my english ( which you all do ) , for dealing with my ass , for everything in general.

i feel as if this is the longest follow forever i have done in my life but really it doesn’t matter. this is here to show how much i appreciate you guys , to just thank you for absolutely everything. i’ll stop here and move on to the little paragraphs some are more personal others are more general ones but , whatever the case is you guys warm my fucking heart seriously.

* // ⊰ @pcrscphonie . ⊱ to the titsiana to my cumriana . . . emily , E M I L Y - what the fuck would i do without your ass ?? like i’m serious ?? i swear talking to you gives me life - genuinely , you make me crack the fuck up on a fucking daily basis. i don’t think i’ve laughed so much in a long time really , so i owe you BIG TIME. not gonna lie i’m fucking glad i managed to drag your ass and get you to join discord , because what would we now do without the sexting gc , our daddy akshay and the bonetown / house party calls ?? ;)) i don’t know but whatever the case is i am WET writing this ( bc i’m tearing up , pls stop being so dirty minded i swear ) . thank you for talking to me after that shit episode i had on a night out , or dealing with my annoying ass on a daily basis , what can i say ?? i actually fucking love you LMAO , as i said you’re the titsiana to my cumriana on a side note i genuinely think that your writing BLOWS my fucking mind , like - lowkey you’re definitely a ) one of my favourite people to write AND talk with and b ) one of the nicest and most talented ones on this hell of a fucking site. so yeah , thank you , thank you and THANK YOU BEBÉ.

* // ⊰ @wavesborn . ⊱ la bestia a mi bebesita . . . yadira , Y A D I R A , hostia PUTA done coño empiezo ?? meeting you has been one of the highlights of my year so far , and i am lowkey SERIOUS. our calls ?? me staying up until 3 - 5 a.m sometimes just to be talking to you , is literally one of the BEST THINGS EVER , even if i am not even alive the next day. and yes i might be a full on nerd but you know you love it ;)) GRACIAS por todo chica , te lo juro de verdad, i mean it when i say that you’ve quite literally saved my ass , you’re one of the people that have resurrected my muse for roleplaying in general. you’re an angel , literal eres un ANGEL tia , y no cambiaria nuestra amistad por NADA EN EL MUNDO. you’re one of my favourite people on this site , whether it is to talk or write to. eres la mejor colega , y me cago en todo lo que se mueve por que va en serio , ERES UN ANGEL CHICA. thank you for being one of my best mates , i really fucking love you. like stefan adores you too , we both adore you for reals afiashdgaiosi QUE HARIA YO SIN TI TIA. you’ve been one of the MAIN reasons for me to not have given up on writing in early january. you’ve pushed me , inspired me , have made me think creatively in different ways , and have made my muse reach new limits , which is DOPE AS FUCK. GRACIAS POR TODO , LITERAL QUE TE AMO.

* // ⊰ @giaawritess . ⊱ un angel pero de verdad colega . . . gia , G I A , look you’re genuinely i just don’t even know where to begin with , one of the BEST people i have ever met in my life. you’re an angel ( YOU LITERALLY ARE THO YOUR VOICE ?? OMFG LIKE ACTUALLY KILL ME , YOU SAW IT YESTERDAY , ME AND STEFAN FULL ON FANGIRLING ABOUT YOUR VOICE MATE AHSFOASHDGOIAS ) one of the kindest people i have ever met. you genuinely blow my mind in so many ways , like i look up to you so fucking much ?? it’s crazy really. when i tell you that i wish i were in the USA i literally mean it because you’ve just done so much for me the past three months , *// i’m crying now i- // you’ve been there for me , you’ve made me laugh like an idiot , fangirl the fuck out of myself with your singing , but you’ve also genuinely been one of the best things that have happened to me this year. literal , i look up to you so much ?? you’re like a bigger sister to me , 100%. thank you for being here , for existing , for just being y o u. like for reals gia. i just want you to know that if you ever need ANYTHING i will be there , because i want to give back - you’re an angel i swear , like a r e a l angel. MUCHISIMAS GRACIAS POR TODO , GRACIAS POR SER TU. TE QUIERO TANTO.

* // ⊰ @fircytragcdy . ⊱ plz don’t put me in the box of shame for this i sWEAR i ain’t a mess ( okay i might be but fhasiodghoashdg ) . . . lucy , L U C Y , idk how you deal with my annoying ass but , i genuinely am thankful as fuck for being able to write with you ?? but there’s something else i have to thank you for as well which is TEMPTING ME to return to indie , like - actually come back , and it took you nothing to convince me ?? from you first hand experiencing my drunk texting in the morning to writing - like you probably think i am a mess let’s be real , which i am but y’know , . . . i’m just here to say that i appreciate you A LOT. your writing blows my fucking mind too , like guao is this talent ?? if you write a book please link me , bc i’ll defo buy AND read it mate. whatever the case is , you know you’ve got me here no matter what , if you need anything - imma be there !! you ARE one of the most talented people on this site , your writing is GENUINE quality , and i’m just blessed to be able to write and talk to you fam. i just wanna than u for everything like legit , my messy ass is thankful AF. thank you for writing with me but also for inspiring me , because literally you’ve also helped me regain my muse , and just been one of the ones that stopped me from giving up on writing. thank you mate , for reals. GRAZIE MILLE , 4 REALS , GRAZIE MILLE.

MORE SPECIAL MENTIONS BUT I’M IN A HURRY AND I DON’T HAVE THE TIME RN TO WRITE A HUGE AS PARA FOR EVERYONE FIHASDGHGSAIOPDG I WOULD THO , I SWEAR I WOULD.

* // ⊰ @rosychvrms ; @nightinqale ; @prcsopa ; @trcnscendant ; @svnflowcr-s ; @darlingstm ; @hvneymoons ; @dvstedgold ; @emptygcds ; @vuotriste ; @alittlewickcd ; @antisopa ; @pcrscphonie ; @wavesborn ; @giaawritess , @fircytragcdy *ik if i forgot peeps on this section but anyways i can’t remember the urls rn i’m just a crying emotional mess rn tbfh . ⊱ this is a special thank you to y’all . . . we might’ve chatted , we might’ve written , done both or neither of these , it doesn’t matter. we all were a part of the same thing , the same universe for several months. it’s why you are on here , because someway or another , seeing you on my dash , or getting to write with you whenever i was logged onto @bloodcvrsed , you managed to inspire me and bring back the muse i was on the verge of losing ( and giving up ) . it’s why i gotta thank you all *and i’m definitely missing people but i can’t remember the urls , so if you see this it’s also aimed at you* because you just stopped me from quitting the one thing that i’ve been doing so many years , and really it would’ve been one of the biggest mistakes of my life. i just want to say thank you , THANK YOU FOR STOPPING ME , FOR INSPIRING ME AND FOR BEING THE ONE OF THE MOST TALENTED PEOPLE I HAVE ENCOUNTERED ON THIS SHIT HOLE THAT IS TUMBLR !! THANK YOU GUYS SM ; ILY.

AND THIS IS A SMALL SECTION BUT AN EXTREMELY MEANINGFUL ONE .

* // ⊰ @thefineartofbitchcraft , @serialqueen , @chrysalvsm , @artofbeingperfect , @wildtm . ⊱ to you who have stuck by my side for so many years . . . i have MISSED YOU ALL , so fucking much. i’ve missed writing with you , talking to you , just being here online. i almost made the mistake of quitting this thing , indie - which yes it’s a hell of a site and yes it’s quite literally full of drama *which is what almost drove me away* but to be fair , i am glad that i was able to see what i almost gave up on. it would’ve bee one of the BIGGEST mistakes i’d ever had made , quitting this - i’ve known you all for AT LEAST a year , with some of you guys i’ve been writing with since 2016 - that’s almost three years , considering i began writing mason in september of the same year - some of you i began writing with on this account , and whatever the case is - YOU ALL have inspired me , you all have made me fall in love with writing , back then , now - all over again really. being back and writing with you guys again made me realise just HOW MUCH i missed this , i missed you all , it made me realise why the past Y E A R i had been unhappy on here but also why my muse had been falling apart , because i wasn’t doing what i wanted , because i made a decision to please someone in fear of losing a friendship. i was unsure on how to turn back as soon as i realised , that i had made a mistake - and i am sorry for that , because - i know some of you missed mason as much as i missed writing him with you - i owe you this apology , and you need to hear it , that i missed this , that i missed it all. - so i am sorry. i’m here to say THANK YOU for having stuck with me for YEARS. i’m actually glad to have you all here i ain’t gonna fuckig lie.THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME LIFE , FOR JUST BEING SO SWEET AND GREAT AND ABSOLUTELY FUCKING TALENTED Y’ALL. i genuinely LOVE you all so fucking much it’s C R A Z Y. you guys , i am so glad to be back - i am SO FUCKING GLAD TO BE BACK. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AND THANK YOU.

#*// 𝕲𝖚𝖈𝖈𝖎 𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖘 𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖊𝖘 𝖗𝖚𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖓’ 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖚𝖊𝖘 | ooc ; cryingkim #( ʏ'ᴋɴᴏᴡ ; ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀs ʙᴏʀɪɴɢ ᴀs ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ ᴋɪᴍ | .ooc )#*// 𝕲𝖚𝖈𝖈𝖎 𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖘 𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖊𝖘 𝖗𝖚𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖓’ 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖚𝖊𝖘 | follow forever ; cryingkim #( ᴘʟs ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪs sᴍᴏʟ ʙᴇᴀɴ sᴏᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ; ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ ɪᴛ | .promo )#// honestly yo guys deserve the fucking world.#// like for reals. YOU DO.

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