#illuso you will always be my favourite squadra

[antagonisht]

just remembered how big they made illuso in the anime and how they also kept showing him from these weird angles that made him look even huger

like this. what was with that. was illuso in charge of the camera or something

[nicherayyy]

OKAY so I just had an idea. la squadra x child reader. BUT, reader got attacked by a stand that makes them age to a teenager and now la squadra has to deal with them and their rebellious behavior 💀

la squadra dealing with puberty is literally the funniest thing ever

La Squadra x Teenager Reader

How did this even happen?

One moment you're a sweet little child

And because of a weird stand you're now.. this

An angry teenager.

Oh bless their hearts 'cause dealing with teens is hard

Risotto's still in shock

The poor guy believed that you'll always be an adorable, innocent child

Well jokes on him

But he understands at some point

He wasn't the best in his teenage years either

But oh my god why are you so angry all the time

He didn't even do anything

"You look angry, can I do anything to help you?"

"You can leave me alone"

"Excuse me??"

He can't wait for you to come back to normal

Prosciutto is the angry one here

Don't you dare to raise your voice at him or talk back

No. Just no.

He misses the old you

And he wants to beat the shit out of that stand user.

Give him his innocent child back

And to everyone's surprise, you try to be more calmer around Pros

It's just not worth it to talk back when he's around

I feel so sorry for Pesci

He just can't see you being so angry

Why are you angry? Did he do something to upset you? Or was that the others?

Yesterday you told him about your favourite ice cream flavour and today you won't even talk to him

It's too much for him to handle

It just pains him so much to see you all angsty

Formaggio misses the old you so much!!

Where's his little buddy??

And who's that angry teen??

Tries to joke around you to lighten your mood

Well.. dad jokes is not the best way to cheer you up

"What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?"

"..."

"They're both in Paris si- Hey where are you going?"

It is the most hilarious thing for Illuso

But your attitude pisses him off sometimes

"What's with your angry face?"

"I don't know. What's with your miserable life?"

*gasp* "you little-"

Yeah, you really damaged his ego

Don't worry, he'll live

Illuso really misses the old you

You always said that he's cool and now when you're a teenager..

Melone is the most chill in all this chaos

No, of course he wants your old self back, but he's not so dramatic about it

He knew that sooner or later puberty will hit you

And it won't be pretty.

Tries to be on your good side all the time

It's pretty easy for him tho

Just don't start the conversation first and agree with everything you say

The great tactic btw

Ghiaccio..

I don't even know who I feel sorry for

Him, you, or the whole La Squadra who listens to your bickering all the time

There are no such days where you two are not arguing about the smallest thing

And it always starts so randomly-

It's so hard to keep up with all your shouting

So the whole team made it their mission to keep you two away from each other

Just until they can get you back to normal

Which they all hope, will happen soon

[silly-l1ttle-guy]

la squadra baby hcs

as a follow up to my fat ghiaccio baby headcanon, i've made headcanons of all the la squadra as little itty bitty babies

Risotto my emo king

very quiet baby

his eyes were funky like that ever since he popped out of the womb

his parents thought he was the son of the devil or some shit tho and gave him to his aunt to take care of

so basically his cousin (the one that died and made him emo) was like a sibling to him

his baby pictures are pretty cute, some are a bit demonic looking

most of them have his cousin included in them

Proscuitto

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY HE WAS AN UGLY ASS BABY

he was balding before he was even born istg

threw a tantrum every five seconds

he eventually mellowed out but god damn

do NOT breed this man his kids will turn out exactly like that

his baby pictures were kinda ok, but he looked ugly as fuck

Pesci

also ugly asf as a baby

cried ALL THE TIME

Proscuitto (who was 4 when he was born) kept complaining about Pesci's crying and started screaming about it

their parents r so tired lmao

they just want a happy family

his baby pictures were so fucking ugly

Illuso

ONE OF THE CUTEST BABIES YOU'LL EVER LAY YOUR EYES UPON

the downside is that he constantly threw tantrums and wouldn't stop crying unless he got what he wanted

he developed his stand when he was like 6 btw

anyway he was cute

and really fucking small for a baby wtf

his baby pictures are like a blessing, hand them to someone randomly and they'll be convinced that God gave them this divine gift

Ghiaccio

Loud as fuck

chubbiest baby ever

you could NOT hold him he was so heavy

cutest baby ever though (not as cute as Illuso was, but still cute

he was ALWAYS crying about something

his baby pictures were so cute, they could become their own religion

Formaggio

goofy ass baby

probably the happiest looking baby you'll ever see

probably really big as a baby, too

he was definitely a big boy

ALWAYS laughing at something

his baby pictures all look super happy

Melone

another small baby

he was so little you don't even KNOW

very peaceful baby

never cried, never made any fuss

he just liked to sleep

his baby pictures were a solid 10/10

Sorbet

ugly ass baby

i don't really lnow much about him or gelato

probably got dumped at an orphanage

idk he just looks like he didn't have parents

it's raining rn

no baby pictures

Gelato

the most generic baby ever

nothing special about him

the youngest out of 3 siblings

probably an accident

the least favourite child

he has like one or two baby pictures and that's about it

[diovstheworld]

La Squadra and Self Care

this has been sitting in my drafts for way too long so it’s time to finally post lmaooo. self care, hygiene, what they smell like, how they relax. a whole bunch of stuff. honestly they’re more just like personal life headcanons for the boys but oh wellll. enjoy! also i’m working on requests and stuff, i’m just so busy with class work and some things going on in my personal life i’m sorry </3

୨ ╭ ୨୧ ✦ ︶꒷꒦・⎯⎯・⎯⎯・₊ˎ✧๑

Illuso:

self care king honestly

in terms of hygiene, this guy showers twice a day, three times if hes around or has the time

face mask before bed every second night and has a morning and evening skincare routine

often likes to reward himself at the end of the week with a nice bath surrounded by some scented candles. this is his favourite way to relax

has a very strict sleep schedule. if you wake him up before 8am and it’s not important, he will fight you lmao

his hair is of most importance so takes great care of it. he washes it very regularly and loves to brush it until it’s silky smooth

he will not leave the house with any knots in his hair. for this reason, he takes a hairbrush with him in case he has to brush it whilst gone

he smells like his shampoo tbh. like some sort of floral scented shampoo

he’s always making use of body sprays and colognes too. normally also floral scented

to relax, aside from a nice bath, he likes to sit down and read people’s horoscopes. he probably keeps some sort of horoscope journal so he likes to fill that out too

sometimes he’ll play video games with formaggio and some of the other guys

Formaggio:

honestly i can’t unsee that one part where he doesn’t wash his hands after going to the bathroom so this man is…questionable with his hygiene

showers when he remembers or can be bothered

applies way too much deodorant and probably reeks of lynx africa

that being said, he probably puts on cologne sometimes

he doesn’t have a routine to be honest. just a shower and deodorant and he’s probably good to go. cologne if he remembers it or the situation requires it

illuso and proscuitto have probably tried to persuade him to do face masks and skin care routines with them but he always tells them it’s a waste of time lmao

people buy him fancy shower gels and stuff for christmas and he doesn’t take the hint. he continues to use the lynx africa shower gel that came in a set with his deodorant

all jokes aside i think he would shower when he knows he’s unclean or personally feels unclean

always taking breaks for his mental state, most likely playing video games. it’s his escape. he enjoys playing them with ghiaccio and melone

he often stays up late doing so but this man will ALWAYS catch up on his sleep lmaooo. he’ll probably be napping at the worst possible times due to a messed up sleep schedule

also likes to relax by crocheting little hats for his cat <3

also uses 2-in-1 shampoo and body wash (nothing wrong with it btw, i just definitely see him using it)

Prosciutto:

has amazing self care, this man definitely has a big self care routine (partly because he’s worried grateful dead will have a negative effect on his appearance)

definitely showers every day, maybe even twice a day

i think he would use a bit of hair products like spray or gel so i think he’d be the kind of guy who washes his hair everyday otherwise it’s gonna be really clogged up there with all that hair product lmaooo. sometimes just simply washes it with water, other times he’s using shampoo and conditioner

also uses a lot of cologne. never leaves the house without it. he’d rather be caught dead than not have on his favourite scent

speaking of what he smells like, i haven’t smelled many men’s cologne, but i do know i love the smell of tom ford noir and i can picture him wearing this

also leaning into the whole what he smells like thing, he probably has a faint whiff of tobacco from him. it lingers on his clothes but not in a pungent, unpleasant way. it’s more comforting and has become part of his natural scent alongside his cologne :) he makes sure he doesn’t reek of cigarettes

he probably has a lot of colognes (probably gets them as birthday and christmas gifts when no one knows what else to get him). he also probably has a lot of skin care items

speaking of skin care, he definitely has a routine he does every morning and night for sure. he hates it when his skin starts to feel rough in the slightest. also shaves often for this reason. he hates the feeling of hair on his face

will take time for himself by stepping away and going to read, he’ll probably do a face mask while doing so lmao

on the whole sleep schedule thing, this man goes to bed at 11pm. maybe 10:30pm if he’s extra sleepy. he’ll only stay up late if a job requires it

not exactly self care but i just wanted to include the headcanon that pros carries a tiny little foldaway comb in his suit jacket pocket at all times

i also think he’s the kind of guy who sings in the shower lmaooo. he likes to sing heart of glass by blondie (i’m going to make a post on my music headcanons for la squadra but it’s gonna be a little messy and all over the place in terms of what i think the guys would listen to sooo that post might be a while away lmaooo)

Risotto:

just like prosciutto and illuso, he has his own morning routine. doesn’t have a skin care routine per se but he definitely uses face creams and such when he remembers or has the time

also a man who showers daily

he doesn’t bother too much about his hair unlike pros and illuso since his hair is kept under his hat anyway

that being said, he does wash it regularly. he gets irritated when he knows it feels unclean

he mostly relaxes by reading and listening to music. he also likes crime novels but often finds them rather cliche and can work out everything before the end of the book

also listens to music a lot while doing things like paperwork or other activities that don’t require him listening to his surroundings. music is a big comfort for risotto for sure

i feel like he often struggles to sleep so he often uses sounds he finds relaxing to get to sleep (mostly rainforest noises)

i have a shower song for risotto too unfortunately and it’s pour some sugar on me by def leppard :,)

i think he’s definitely got the cleanliness part nailed down but he’s not so good at relaxing since he’s always so busy so he’s probably not the best at self care

he’s always getting lectured by the other guys to take a break and take some time to himself for a while because honestly, he often forgets to take any time for himself

Ghiaccio:

firstly, he definitely relaxes by playing video games and reading comic books. he loved to escape in stuff like that

i also feel like he relaxes by cleaning for some reason. like, he finds it very satisfying and calming to clean up his room while he listens to some music in his headphones and blocks out the shenanigans of all the other guys lmaooo

as for his levels of cleanliness, i can see him being a very clean man in all aspects

just like pros and illuso, he showers at least twice a day. however, unlike pros and illuso, he probably uses like a 2-in-1 shampoo and body wash. i can imagine him wondering (more like ranting) about why you would buy two individual products for more money when you can have the two products in one and save money

despite melone's efforts to try and change ghiaccio's ways, ghiaccio does not have a facial care routine in terms of things like moisturizers

he does, however, take care of his skin more now than he ever did due to constant outbreaks of spots so i can definitely see him at least using some sort of fancy face wash, even if he does refuse to do any other parts of a skincare routine

Pesci:

first of all, this boy likes watching slime videos to relax. he finds the noises very relaxing!

also likes to watch tik toks to take a break from the world

just like his big bro, he has a very good self care routine! he has a very similar one in fact

has a skin care routine and normally follows alongside prosciutto to make sure he’s doing it right

sometimes joins in the face masks

also he smells of apple shampoo! the smell is very comforting to him <3

other ways he likes to relax is by doodling. he’s not necessarily great at art but doing little doodles makes him happy. i totally think he would have his own OCs for the different media he consumes (he’s just like me fr)

also likes to read to relax! he often reads comic books and gets a lot of recommendations from ghiaccio and borrows them from him often

if he can’t fall asleep on his own, he sometimes goes to formaggio or ghiaccio’s room and falls asleep watching them play their video games

but for the most part he has a strict bedtime set for himself to ensure he gets the sleep he needs

Melone:

loves getting his nails done

also likes doing other peoples nails to help them relax too

just like prosciutto and illuso, this guy also has a good self care routine in terms of skin care and hygiene

also part of the face mask gang. i can imagine melone, illuso and prosciutto have a little self care night doing each others nails and doing face masks and having a good little gossip

part of the night owl gang. he stays up late often playing games with formaggio and ghiaccio though he probably is the first one to cave in and go to bed

again, i think he would like to read. he definitely has a stack of books at his bedside that he’s desperately trying to get through when he has the time

i think he would also have a floral scent to him. illuso often accuses of stealing his shampoo or body sprays because the smell is so similar

very sensitive to light when he’s trying to sleep. even the tiniest little bit of light sneaking through the curtains will disturb him so he sleeps with an eye mask over his eyes

Sorbet and Gelato

as per usual, i don’t have many headcanons for these guys but whatever they do, fully expect them to be joined at the hip

i mean they’re brushing their teeth in the bathroom together, they’re doing their skincare routines in sync

they shower separately but they do enjoy having baths together. in fact, this is probably their ideal way to relax

they definitely like to paint each other’s nails too when they have the time. the second any one of them has a chip in the polish, they’re taking it off and redoing it for sure

they also like to snuggle up on the sofa together with a blanket sharing the same book as they read together <3

[dolce-tenebra-toscana]

Dumbest reasons on why La squadra ended up in jail/had to deal with the police, our fave mafiosini fall off their pedestal sometimes lol

Formaggio:

Got arrested during the Roma-Lazio soccer derby cause he started a riot after the referee expelled Totti ( the pride and joy of the Roma's soccer team ) in the middle of the match. Nobody touches " Er Pupone "

Illuso:

Left so many unpaid tabs at different resturants, one day his little habit finally catched up to him and at the " You pay your 500.000 lire's tab or you go to jail " he gracefully spent 2 weeks behind the bars.

Pesci:

The poor soul is always in the wrong place and at the wrong time; when he was 13 he spent 2 months in juvie cause he was offered a " cannetta " and when he refused cause his mamma always said that drugs are bad, his friends forcefully put the joint in hand...5 minutes later they were all arrested for possessing drugs

Prosciutto:

My beloved husband Pros, he felt so angry and humiliated when the " maledetto caramba " arrested him! He just wanted a quick f**k and looked for " company " after a mission...Turns out in Sanremo there's a law that says you can't even TALK to prostitutes! so he had to spend the night at the police station.

Ghiaccio:

Ice baby Ghia has always to deal with the police, ALWAYS. His bad temper causes him more problem with the law than anything so his criminal record is longer than the line at " Poste Italiane ", but this time he was LIVID.

In Eraclea ( a town near Venezia ) it's against the law walking shirtless on the beach, build sandcastles and play beach-volley....you can guess what happened when the " vigile " handed him over the fine lol

Melone:

First of all, no he didn't get arrested for something obscene and s*x related....this time. In Venezia, Lucca and Cesena is severely forbidden to feed the pidgeons, so our favourite purple weirdo crossed the line when he literally throwed seeds at the people, just to see hundreds of those damn birds scaring the sh*t out of everyone. He is a man of science...HE HAD TO TO THIS OFFICER YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!

Risotto:

Capo, we all love you...but your fashion sense has never been the greatest. In Positano and Capri ( Campania ) it's absolutely forbidden to wear wooden clogs ( cause of the noise and the fact that are a fashion monstrosity ), this was the last straw and after he got the fine asked his team " are they really that ugly?" Only to be yelled at " PORCA DI QUELLA P*TTANA SI!!!" by everyone, including Pesci.

[squadrah]

la squadra's favourite soups >:)

I was asked by a good friend to really give this one my all and then some, so prepare for a lot of flavor text, ehehe.

Risotto: From Sicily he brings his love of traditional Peperonata, brewed rather thick and served with some crusty bread for mopping, as well as the conviction that soup, whether simple or complex, should be a complete meal onto itself. You won't see him serving anything on the clear or thin side because it might as well be a drink then; Ribollita and French Onion Soup are his idea of good vegetarian home cooking, and if he makes soup with meat, he will buy up the cheap cuts, bone in, and load the pot to the brim.

Formaggio: He will always take what he can get of course, but you won't catch him ordering soup anywhere, because the ones he truly cares for are either the sort of home cooking restaurants often scoff at like the humble Stracciatella, or something restaurants often get wrong such as authentic Goulash. The latter especially is his darling and he wants it home cooked with carrots, potatoes and egg noodles, but Risotto's best efforts still do not compare to how he remembers it from his mother's table.

Prosciutto: He will only touch soup if it's strong enough in itself - he would never order any with the idea of fixing it in post by adding chili. From mildest to hottest, he would appreciate a concentrated Beef Bouillon with or without the trimmings, might also like Frutta Di Mare All'acqua Pazza if the water is "crazy" enough, and would love a good Tom Yum, but his prime favorite would be a bone marrow soup like Bulalo, where there's plenty of richness and flavorful meat to go around. He must have all the marrow, of course.

Pesci: He's on the opposite end of the spectrum from Prosciutto due to his acid reflux and prefers his soups on the mild side while also eschewing those with a tomato base or onions if he can help it. You cannot go wrong with a classic Chicken Noodle, but he especially likes smooth vegetable soups like butternut squash with toasted croutons on top, and he would be first in line for anything that uses cream or other dairy, like Seafood Chowder (any type of chowder would be a big hit with him) or Yayla Çorbası.

Ghiaccio: He is at odds with soup because to his mind it's not a proper meal, and there are textures and flavors he finds repulsive, so it's a struggle. When he has any, it's usually small portions he can quickly drink or eat: clear bone broth is as close as he can venture to bouillon because the meaty flavor is negligible, and he appreciates your standard Miso for the tofu and the crunch of green onions and beansprouts, as long as the bean paste is mild. If he had the means or access, he would love the concept of Nabemono in general.

Melone: In his sickly childhood he ate a lot of Acquacotta, which he still craves sometimes despite having developed a gluten allergy, and unfortunately for him, the list of forbidden delights does not stop there. He loves a good Zuppa Imperiale, but again, the semolina in the dough cubes is a menace, and anything made with cream will avenge itself unless he takes his Lactaid. Of the soups he can safely have, he has most taken to Borscht for the excellent taste as well as its vibrant color, and has proclaimed it a health food.

Illuso: This one, in spite of his upbringing, is a soup purist who believes that soup is strictly a first course, and therefore it should be something simple and light that is easy on the stomach and whets your appetite for the rest of the meal. He loves Gazpacho and could drink it like a smoothie, and is fond of Caldo Verde with its single slice of chorizo (it's like finding the prize in your Galette de Rois), but in winter he will branch out and have Minestra di Noci as often as they can get walnuts, perhaps with some chestnuts added in.

Sorbet: Here we have someone who appreciates a wider range, but having grown up on odds-and-ends type soups often poorly made, his standards are now much higher even for something as simple as plain Caraway Soup, and he has been working on improving them all. His favorite by far is any type of lentil soup such as Minestra di Lenticchie or Masoor Dal, for the taste as well as lentils symbolizing abundance, and when he craves something sweet, any Fruit Soup will be welcome before savory main courses, hot or chilled.

Gelato: Cannot live without soup and never met one he did not like; in fact he regularly cooks a variety of them including Fruit Soup, though to him that is in the dessert category. His greatest favorites are made with sausage or entrails: think Fabada for the chorizo or Menudo for the tripe, as well as any type of meatball soup. He's not big on pasta in soup (he prefers egg noodles), but if the ravioli is filled with ground offal (mostly liver or heart, as kidney and lungs are much harder to come by nowadays), he will gladly have it.

[tenthgrove]

Can I request la squadra's reaction to their s/o being Sorbet and Gelato's daughter, she's old enough, she said she was going to introduce them to her parents and they see Sorbet and Gelato and I just imagine how embarrassing it would be sincr the daughter possibly doesn't know about her parents' job

Heritage

La Squadra x Reader (fem), Romantic, SFW

(A/N: uhh, just so I don't get in trouble for this, I'm going to state clearly for the record that Reader in this scenario is an adult, let's say at least 20 years old, born at the earliest possible opportunity as soon as Sorbet and Gelato got together.)

In all normal circumstances, it must be said that Sorbet and Gelato would not choose to keep their child estranged from La Squadra di Esecuzione. The couple see their team unapologetically and family and it would only make sense to involve their new child in that group bond.

However, you came into their lives much, much sooner than Sorbet and Gelato had intended to have children, barely adults themselves and in no state to be raising children. It was your arrival in their lives that convinced them to stop living so vicariously and settle down somewhere concrete- even if it meant submitting themselves to Passione to maintain such a life. When they joined La Squadra, they made the decision to keep their life at home and their life with the team separate. They could not burden you with the knowledge of their crimes. For La Squadra's part, they knew Sorbet and Gelato's child existed, but had never seen or met you in person. This was something they all understood.

It's in these circumstances that your strange romance began.

Formaggio- When your nine braincells have all been trained on being smart on the job, its easy for them to fall asleep the rest of the time. Formaggio never puts two and two together, even as you list off stories of your dads' lives. It never occurs to him they're his dear friends. Ever the family man, Formaggio is thrilled for the opportunity to meet your dads, bringing tons of fun things to do to the meetup. And when Sorbet and Gelato open the door... it still doesn't click. "Oh hey guys! The hell are you doing here? I'm trying to find my girl's dads!" Your palm has connected with your face quicker than Gelato can say "what the fuck?"

Illuso- A lone wolf through and through, Illuso isn't as excited about meeting your parents. When he accepted you into his life he did just that, and while he's not going to disrespect your fathers unless it's deserved he isn't here to make friends. It's for this reason that when Sorbet and Gelato open the door they don't realise what's going on, Illuso looking nothing like a man about to face his girlfriend's notoriously protective dads. Gelato's immediate assumption is that you were spying on their base or something, which makes him panic. If you hadn't figured out your dads' occupation before this, you will now.

Prosciutto- Any true romantic would treat introducing themselves to their lover's parents as a profound day of honour. Prosciutto is no different. He wears his finest suit to the occasion, bringing along a bouquet of roses and several other fine gifts. He's so tense he barely even processes what's ahead of him as he hands the bouquet to... his work buddies. Its hard to tell which out of the three is more shocked. Prosciutto asks if you're sure this is the right house. It is. Well. Time to roll with it. Sorbet does mention he wouldn't usually approve of you dating someone that much older than you but they can make an exception for a good friend. They know Prosciutto will do right by you.

Pesci- Your boyfriend's nerves were already in shots before you even arrived. He was terrified of your dads not liking him; what if they don't let you see each other again?! You tell him repeatedly your dads really aren't the sort to control you unless your life depends on it but that does little to soothe him. He's just so worried! Sorbet and Gelato actually hear his fretting on the way to the door and, recognising his voice, rush over to greet him, giving the poor boy quite the fright. Once the dust settles, Sorbet and Gelato are actually quite happy to have Pesci as a potential son in law, and Pesci feels the same. Sorbet and Gelato are already family to him.

Melone- Dear oh dear you’re in for one hell of a day. Though they don’t dislike their colleague Sorbet and Gelato do have some… reservations about Melone’s behaviour, particularly that around women. Seeing him on their door hand in hand with their daughter isn’t going to be a happy sight. Melone, failing to read the room, immediately enthuses about all the similarities between you and your fathers, giving them the perfect opportunity to yank you inside and shut the door. They tell you that you’re welcome to tell them to let him back in, but you have to be absolutely sure of what you’re getting yourself into. That’s all they ask.

Ghiaccio- On Sorbet and Gelato’s part, they could not be more excited. Their two favourite young people hooking it up right out of the blue? This is Christmas! They don’t even care if it means you know what they do with their time as long as you’re happy with Ghiaccio. Ghiaccio on the other hand, he’s freaking out. Sure he looks up to Sorbet and Gelato but… that’s the problem. They mean more than he’s willing to admit and having you around might force him to admit it. Just give him a minute, okay?

Risotto- The situation is even more comical than it is bizarre. What do we have here? The famed Risotto Nero would appear to be Sorbet and Gelato’s future son-in-law, fancy that! You can’t expect the couple not to tease him about it. Risotto will never be able to give them a straightforward command again. On Risotto’s part, he is honoured to be accepted into this family. Sorbet and Gelato have always been great mentors to him, and though they aren’t that far apart in age, a part of him does see them as fathers.

[mink-place]

La Squadra's costumes (and more) for halloween!

Since it's halloween, I thought of writing this, btw my birthday is near!

Risotto Nero

I think that he doesn't really celebrates halloween, so he goes dressed as alway, maybe with some paint face if Melone can convince him.

He is most likely to watch from afar to La Squadra being chaotic and getting lot of candies.

Has a dead face on, most people thing he is scary (and also think that his “contact lenses” are really cool)

If he's feeling really bored he may scare people using his stand ability to turn him invisible.

Prosciutto

You cannot get him on a halloween costume, he's not a kid anymore, he doesn't want to look ridiculous.

Yeah, but he still helps Pesci to dress up.

He's going to scold him for being such a kid, but he isn't going to stop him from dressinh up.

If Pesci's too nervous to ask for candies, he's the one to ask for them.

Everyone thinks that his normal clothes are his costume, like, he's dressed like a drag mafia queen? Idk

Will keep away from the chaos that the other make.

Pesci

He's excited to go out on halloween, he likes to dress as the same every halloween, a fisher man.

Likes to go to trick or treat, and actually gets lots of candies, even if he's an adult.

Shares his candies with Prosciutto, but most of the time, Prosciutto declined them since he doesn't have a big sweet tooth.

Has a sparkle in his eyes everytime he looks at the decoration on the city and all the people dressed on their costumes.

He's very happy :D

Formaggio

He dresses like strange things, cheese or maybe like those costumes of sumo, gorilla, or even as real life persons, but like a messed up version.

Likes to go out and scare children with Illuso, and also go to shops to treat or trick.

It's the main object of the chaos, since he keeps annoying Ghiaccio for looking like Dexter.

His favourite part of halloween are thw halloween parties, even if he wasn't asked to came over, he'll just get in.

Probably ends all drunk being dragged by Risotto to go back to the base.

Illuso

He takes halloween as an excuse to annoy kids and scare them, he's such an amazing person lol

He dresses as himself, he doesn't need a costume to scare persons! But maybe, he'll put on a mask.

As part of the chaos, he's annoying the hell outta everyone using Man In The Mirror.

Ghiaccio

He doesn't like halloween, but Melone insisted on him giving it a try.

Which wasn't that bad, he likes to get candies even if he doesn't eat it later, he just keeps them or gives them to Pesci.

Probably will end up angry because of a shenanigan of Illuso and Formaggio, and thst will cause a bigger disaster where he ends up destroying things.

He goes to calm down on the base before anyone else.

His night ends with him covered in a fluffy blanket with hot chocolate and a drama serie on the TV.

Melone

He LOVES halloween, when he was a kid he didn't had a chance to really enjoy it since he spent most of his time on home with his grandma.

So this is the perfect opportunity! He'll dress up as a scientific, but with really short clothes.

He loves kids, so he's likely to give candies instead of going to trick or treat, even if most of the kids doesn't take his candies because of their parents.

Melone is surrounded by the chaos Formaggio and Illuso make, but he doesn't really care.

He's happy to be celebrating this with his squad!

Bonus: Sorbet and Gelato

They both aren't too interested in halloween, they prefer to cuddle on home while watching horror movies and laughing at how stupid are most characters.

Sometimes they go out just to lure persons, kidnap and torture them, but that's if they're too bored.

They don't go out with the squad, they stay home doing whatever they want, like painting each other nails...

[wri0thesley]

May I request some La Squadra childhood headcanons (upbringing/family/habits/demeanor) :)) Maybe Mista and Abbacchio too if it’s not too much trouble since we already saw a bit of baby Bruno and it made me so curious about the other two! I always imagined Abbacchio to be a bit of a teacher’s pet as a kid lol. Your writing brings me life tysm!!!!

warnings for abusive family, human experimentation, misogyny, illness, hospitals, death, etc! 

Risotto’s family did not care much about him. He’s the middle child of five - they grew up in a rural part of Sicily, in a house that used to be a farmhouse but was merely a house by the time Risotto came along (aside from a flock of chickens constantly in the gardens). He had a traditional Italian family full of people - various aunts, uncles and cousins - but his cousin was his favourite, seeing in Risotto’s quiet nature something similar to his own. Risotto was uncomfortable with there being too many people around and found his home life cramped and uncomfortable and loud. At the local village school he was often hunted out for games of sport (his height and muscle growing in at an early age), but he shied away from making friends, not sure how to handle himself around people who shouted and laughed, envying his siblings for everything seeming so natural. He often stayed with the cousin, and it’s through them he discovered metal music and his now signature look. His parents didn’t have time for him, but his cousin always did, becoming a makeshift father figure where Risotto’s failed. He grew very attached, and as we know, his cousins death hit him hard. 

Formaggio grew up with a single father; his mother simply disappeared in the middle of the night and he never heard from her again. He was always loud, brash and cocky - his father was much the same way. They moved around from place to place, his father taking odd jobs to sustain them and never really getting the hang of them. His father was fairly young and a perpetual teenager, and Formaggio was much the same way. Despite living in occasional poverty, he always had a smile and he and his father were close to one another. He did not really make friends - other children were aware of his unwashed clothes, the fact his lunch was not made as neatly as theirs, the fact that his address was a one-bedroom apartment on the bad side of town - so he turned to acting out and violence, gaining a reputation as a Badly Behaved Child. His father fell into Passione in the need to support his son, and like father like son, Formaggio followed in his footsteps at fourteen (finding a camaraderie and sense of responsibility he never had at school and subsequently just stopping going there). 

Illuso got into Passione for the money and the power. He was an only child and he had a nice upbringing, honestly - he just found himself not special at anything, and he desperately wanted to be. He flitted from hobby to hobby and interest to interest; he was clever and he noticed things, and neither of his parents really knew how to deal with their sharp-tongued child. He was a bit of a bully at school, but not the kind that is ever found out - Illuso’s bullying was quieter than that, whispered words and rumours that never seemed to find their way back to him. He was well-acquainted with blackmail before he turned sixteen. He knew how to sniff out weaknesses in other people - he was always surrounded by people, but it was a lottery as to whether they liked Illuso or whether they just didn’t want to be on his wrong side. Always willing to volunteer for things, too confident for his own good - eventually, he stopped caring about being ‘special’ at something, and just worked on being the ‘best around him’. 

Melone’s backstory can be found here. Both of his parents were academics and lecturers in genetic science, and he’s the eldest child by eight years. His family moved around rather a lot. He has two younger sets of twins as siblings; one set of boys, and one set of girls. Growing up, his parents considered him less interesting and a little slow - he turned to science and genetics as a way to get their attention and praise; despite the fact he showed a natural affinity for it, by this time, they were far more interested in experimenting on their younger children and Melone was ignored. His nature is curious and insistent - he learnt to insist or to be ignored. He had to look after his younger siblings a lot growing up; they were home-schooled where he was not, and the strange separation of them and him and all of the children at school (Melone not quite fitting into either group) meant that he always seemed just a little off. 

Prosciutto is a mafia man through and through. His family are entrenched in old bloodlines and uninvestigated deaths - unfortunately, though, they are a family that had somewhat fallen from grace by Prosciutto’s birth. The definition of faded glamour and keeping up appearances; rooms in a big, drafty old house that have an old bed and a falling apart dressing table. His father always talked to him about how it was his and his brothers’ job to keep the bloodline going - a traditional chauvinist of a man. His mother was very quiet and pretty; she encouraged him to small interests like old music and fashion, but was always silent around her husband. He grew up knowing his life was expendable. Youngest son of two; his elder brother died within months of finally being given his assignment within Passione and honestly, Prosciutto knows his father would rather he have died. A quiet little boy who did not make friends (he had a tutor) and had too much of the weight of the world on his shoulders in the knowledge of how many of his mother’s jewels were pasteboard, where the guns were kept, and just how many people he saw regularly were murderers. At his assignment at sixteen, Prosciutto had to learn exactly how to blend in, because many of the mafiosos he was suddenly surrounded by did not appreciate what they saw as his superiority. 

Pesci was an only child of a single mother; his father passed away when he was young. He was rather sickly growing up, and it made his mother indulgent - despite growing up fairly middle class, he never wanted for anything, and they lived well beyond their means. His mother fussed over him, always afraid that he was going to have a relapse into his childhood illness - very much a child wrapped in cotton wool. It gave him his own complex about taking risks; he didn’t want to get hurt. He didn’t want to be rejected by other children. He was slow at his schoolwork but devoted to his mother, and other children saw him as a prime target to bully. He was kicked around a lot at school and it eventually made him too easy to subdue when he suddenly filled out and shot up and became a threat; found himself, too often, a henchman to more articulate, meaner children. Grateful to be accepted, he went along with the flow, despite feeling in the very core of his gut that he was disgusted by them. He ended up in Passione because his mother needed medical treatment and in trying to sort it out realised just how much debt they were in.

Ghiaccio just had a normal run-of-the-mill described as ‘average’ by everyone upbringing - both of his parents, an only child, a mother with a professional job, middle-class. His father was partially deaf - in my experience, people with deaf parents either speak very loudly or very quietly, and Ghiaccio has gone for the former. He learnt LIS at a very early age, and it’s part of the reason he can be so anal about pronunciation and language as a whole - he’s utterly fascinated by it, and that fascination started in early childhood. His parents were also indulgent of him, but having a younger brother meant that he didn’t get the full brunt of that indulgence - his brother was a little more of a ‘rough and tumble’ boy. He liked football and weights, and when he took up a sport Ghiaccio’s parents decided Ghiaccio should learn to do something too and asked him what he thought - they were surprised when he said ice skating, but figured he would go into ice hockey or something. He didn’t. For a while, he was fairly well-known in the competitive figure skating under eighteens circuit. It gave him two things; one, a competitive need to win and be good at things (and a propensity to tantrum when he lost) and two, a taste for flashy, expensive things (have you seen this man’s car). His parents eventually didn’t know how to deal with his arrogance, and he fell into Passione based on a ‘sponsor’ he ended up embroiled with at nineteen when his parents didn’t want to fund his ‘hobby’ anymore (they kept pouring resources into his younger brother, of course - Ghiaccio always felt a bit like they didn’t take him seriously). He left ice skating competitively behind, but he couldn’t leave behind the nice things or the anger issues he accrued. 

I’ve written about Sorbet and Gelato’s childhood/backstory here! But a brief, shorter version:

Gelato had a loving family and a privileged upbringing. Always enough money, always enough to eat - an only child, who perhaps was a little rowdy at school but whomst his parents were very proud of. Both of them were traditional types; thinks a man should be strong, should be the real driving force of all relationships - they were extremely proud of him going into the army. Cleverer than people tend to give him credit for, sharp-eyed, a constant humming need to be doing something with his hands. 

Sorbet was orphaned at a young age in a house fire and taken in by a church orphanage. He’s quiet but equally clever; his cleverness tends to be a little less in your face. He was a comforting presence to other people and took care of the younger boys (even now, he feels a sense of duty to some of La Squadra) - being low-voiced, soothing and commanding. He spent a lot of time reading. The church orphanage was poor; Sorbet has learnt to appreciate luxury where Gelato takes it for granted and it’s part of the reason he’s so concerned with finances even in his forties. 

Abbacchio grew up in a houseful of women. His father left when he was still young; he was . . . not a nice man, and Abbacchio has vague memories of his mother carefully applying concealer over black eyes. It’s part of the reason Abbacchio became a police officer - knowing that he was still out there, not paying for what he’d done . . . Abbacchio wanted to ensure other people did not go through it. He had a little sister (by six years) who adored him, and his grandmother (who had once been an opera singer and still had a touch of that old-time glamour). He was fairly well off; at least, after he and his mother went to live with her mother again. His grandmother was EXTREMELY indulgent of her serious pretty-eyed grandson (his affinity for opera comes from her) who wanted so hard to be a Good Man. He was made fun of as a child for being a teacher’s pet and a nerd, you’re right - he adopted being a goth and dressing like that fairly early in his life. Nobody was going to threaten to punch him in leather and black lipstick, he thought - and nobody, too, needed to know that his CD player was blasting Monteverdi and not heavy metal. 

Mista was the only child of an unreliable mother and a father who left when he was four (he kept very vaguely in touch; Mista has three little sisters who he sees occasionally but keeps quiet about his employ to. After the events of VA, he’s established a fund for each of them, but he wasn’t really permitted to see them much growing up). Even after his parents leaving and his neighbour’s loss of an eye (and the subsequent setting in of his fear of the number four), he was an easy-going child who made friends easily and smiled at all and sundry; he was never particularly book-clever, but he was good-natured and had many friends. His mother’s lack of reliability meant that he became very fond of simple things other people took for granted - when she died, he was sad, but his life did not change much. He’d already learnt to fend for himself when it came to food and the like; often coming home to an empty house and simply making do. (The lack of food in the house is part of the reason he gained such an affinity for things he saw as luxuries like wines and cheeses). He learnt to use his dark eyes and charming smile and warm nature to win sleepovers with schoolfriends and evening meals with their parents. Always a little bit behind his peers in having cool gadgets or interesting stories, Mista was content just to have a simple life and good health. 

[nanasparadise]

Please~ yandere la squadra with a darling that heals them after a battle? Angel 👼 anon but Christmas inspired~

Hi anon! I hope you had a beautiful Christmas! <3 I know I’m super late (T-T), but I hope you still enjoy the headcannons! Where I live, it’s still freezing cold, so the Christmas spirit still lingers a bit in the air.

!!!!! TW: mentions of blood and wounds, implied stalking, implied NSFW, toxic relationship, MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY !!!!!

I do not condone any yandere behaviour in real life.

Yan! La Squadra x gender-neutral Stand user reader who heals them during a battle (Christmas edition)

Yan! Risotto

Risotto hates to go to you for help: he likes to appear strong in front of you.

But the battle has been tough and his wounds are quite deep.

You rush immediately to the hitman, inspecting the severity of the wounds.

With your Stand, you’re able to heal him pretty fast and effectively.

Risotto keeps staring at you throughout the whole healing process, red eyes boring intensely into yours.

It does make you quite uncomfortable.

But you push that thought away and instead sigh: why did Risotto have to get into trouble on Christmas?

After you’ve patched him up, you try to look out for the other hitmen in case they need your help as well.

But the silver-haired man puts his calloused hands on your wrists under a tight grip and keeps fixating you.

You are surprised by his action, but he simply states that he needs you in this moment and that you shouldn’t worry about the others.

For Risotto, this admittance of weakness bothers the Italian. But he’d rather like you only for himself. The capo can’t help the feeling of jealousy and possessiveness rising up in him like bile whenever he sees you with the other team members – or anyone that isn’t him, for a fact.

You want to escape his grasp, but something in his gaze – something dangerous that you shouldn’t unleash – makes you remain by his side.

The capo bores again his intense eyes into yours. You feel as though he pierces right through your soul. For you, the quiet feels unbearable. On the other hand, for Risotto, this moment of calmness feels like bliss, like the perfect Christmas present, as he’s got everything he needs right next to him now.

“Good God, Risotto!” “It’s fine, it’s not as bad as it seems.”

“Risotto, could you please let me go? I need to look after the others.” “They’re fine. I need you more by my side.”

Yan! Illuso

Illuso comes back with blood covering his clothes. He weakly breaks down on the nearest chair, too exhausted from the battle and the wounds.

You immediately notice the deep cut on his torso. Rapidly, you hurry to his side.

Illuso’s face is adorned with his typical smug smile as you approach him, despite his injury and severe blood loss.

Swiftly, his wounds are healed with your Stand. During the process, the hitman goes on confidently about how he beat the enemy to a bloody pulp. Though you quickly notice his boasting is just to distract himself from the pain.

After you’ve helped him with his injuries, you’re about to see the other hitmen, but Illuso quickly stops you.

The Italian shoots you again one of his self-assured grins and asks you to come sit next to him. With a sigh, you do as he told you.

Illuso mentions how you shouldn’t waste your time with the other members of the team, especially not on Christmas. After all, he could give you a much better time and already has a gift for you…

After all, Illuso knows exactly what you want for presents. He took his time observing you through your mirror to find out everything he needs to know about you.

You feel highly uncomfortable by his comment. So you decide to stand up and leave.

But before you could truly escape the situation, Illuso takes your arm with an iron grip. He discreetly nods at the mirror in the room.

You understand immediately the underlying threat. Not wanting to be dragged into the mirror world, you simply swallow the lump in your throat and sit down again. Internally, you curse your Stand, knowing that it is practically useless in a fight…

Illuso smiles at your compliance, a dark spark glimmering in his red eyes.

The brunette babbles about how he’s gonna make this Christmas perfect for you.

“Of course he was no match for Man in the Mirror. You should have seen how I disfigured his face.” “Sure, Illuso…”

“Why don’t you stay a bit? These men don’t deserve your attention. I can make this Christmas so much better for you, tesoro.”

Yan! Formaggio

Unlike the other members of the team, Formaggio comes with a crooked grin and cracking jokes when he perceives your form. Even though his bloody and bullet-ridden body was nothing to make fun of, you thought.

The Italian groans from time to time when you heal him,  but he secretly also relishes the fact that you touch him so freely.

He keeps on talking about how he can’t wait for the holidays to be over so that the football season can start again. You simply roll your eyes and smile mindlessly at his comment.

Though the young man must admit that he likes the thought of you curled up in your arms while watching a cheesy holiday film.

You nervously chuckle, hoping this was just another one of his jokes.

But the green eyes that stare intensely back at you do make it hard to believe so.

You utter an apology, saying you should see the other hitmen, but your movement is halted by Formaggio’s hand on your upper arm.

The Italian flashes you another grin, though it appears much more sinister this time.

He suggest to stay, having already found the perfect film to watch for you two. You are well aware of the fact that it’s a threat, recognising the menacing edge in his voice.

You aren’t sure how to react: should you risk it and leave or should you just stay?

In the end, much to Formaggio’s satisfaction, you decide to remain with him. After all, this couldn’t be so bad. You two are friends, this doesn’t lead to something more, right?

Meanwhile, the hitman already plans the next intimate moments between you, not taking in account whether you want this or not.

“Well, look at that Y/N, I do give my name much honour with these holes in my body!” “Please Formaggio, don’t joke about that! You could have died.”

“C’mon babe, it’s just a nice evening between us! It’s Christmas, share the spirit, be kind and stay with me.”

Yan! Prosciutto

If it wasn’t for the trail of blood, you wouldn’t have noticed that Prosciutto is injured.

As usual, the blond hides his pain by putting on a perfect stoic face.

You heal him with your Stand, Prosciutto being silent during the treatment. You are shocked to see that his wounds are so deep.

After the process, you ask him about the battle. The assassin quickly gives you all the important information about the enemy, though he reassures you that they are dead now.

Prosciutto has a hard time keeping his professional façade up around you: he can’t help but feel touched by your sincere worry.

Wanting to share the information with the rest of La Squadra, you intend to leave the room. Though Prosciutto’s voice cutting through the air, that leaves no room for disobedience, stops you from doing so.

The Italian confidently asks you out for dinner, wanting to indulge you with his favourite Christmas recipe.

You raise an eyebrow at that invitation, shooting a questioning look at your colleague.

Prosciutto is fully aware of his out of character action, but you made him react untypically more often then you knew: when he kept thinking about you instead of concentrating on his mission, when he kept photos of you in his room, when he imagined your lips on his…

You politely decline his kind offer, pretending you don’t want to bother him. But it’s more the fact that your gut feeling says that something is wrong about the hitman’s sombre gaze.

Prosciutto clicks his tongue at your reaction. He simply takes ungently your hand and drags you out of the room.

You try as best to fight against him, but your resistance turns out to be futile.

The blond is visibly annoyed by your fighting. With The Grateful Dead, he ages your soft hand, leaving it all wrinkled.

You stare at your hand in distraught. You’re smart enough to see the threat behind his action. So you let him drag you out, too scared to act up again.

“Prosciutto, are you alright? You never say when you’re hurt.” “Showing weakness would put a bad example, now wouldn’t it?”

“Why must you always be so stubborn? I just want to take you out for dinner, it’s not too much asked for.”

Yan! Pesci

Pesci groans when he enters the room. He hates to see you worried because of him, but the battle left him in an excruciating pain.

You patch the hitman up as fast as you can, using your Stand efficiently.

During the healing process, the Italian’s dark eyes glisten with something you recognise as affection. You feel uncomfortable under his stare and don’t know how to react. You simply shove it off as him being an emotional friend and man in general.

Though his following words make it clear that he thinks of you more than just a colleague or friend.

Pesci gathers up all his courage. Shyly, he asks you if you would like to spend the remainder of the evening by his side. You could maybe bake some Christmas biscuits, if you like!

Immediately, pity blooms in your chest. You don’t want to hurt his feelings, knowing that he already suffers enough under the sneers of your teammates.

Still, you decline his offer. After all, you don’t want to falsely lead him on… To make it alright, you offer him to do something together with the team instead.

Already being emotional, Pesci’s eyes start to water. He insists spending time with you alone, nearly begging you.

The Italian goes on then about how he can never spend time with you alone… He just wants to participate for once and not being able to watch you doing activities with other people.

Majorly distressed by what he’s just told you, you don’t hesitate a second to leave the room, all sympathy for him gone.

The assassin doesn’t follow you, lucky for you.

Again, Pesci is all by himself, without your presence. It’s going to be a lonely Christmas for him.

“Thank you so much for healing me, Y/N! You’re really like an angel.” “Oh stop it, you’re exaggerating…”

“Please, I’m begging you to stay! It’s going to be fun, I promise! I just want you all for myself, just for once.”

Yan! Melone

It’s untypical for Melone to actively engage in a battle. So when he comes back from the mission, being wounded severely, you are more than surprised.

Even though you tend to avoid the rather lecherous man for his inappropriate comments towards you, you don’t hesitate to heal him. After all, he’s still your teammate.

Seeing you so willingly tending his injuries seems like an open invitation for the assassin to continue his usual dirty talk with you (which of course it isn’t).

He bathes into your warm touch on his cool, naked skin, caused by the cold temperature outside.

You wrinkle your nose at his rather disgusting remarks, threatening him to just let him bleed out the next time, to which the Italian only laughs.

After you’ve fully healed him, you intend to immediately rush out of the room, desperate to create some space between you and Melone.

Your escape appears to be fruitless though as a gloved hand grips tightly on your upper arm. The hitman has surprisingly lots of strength for his slim build.

With eyes of a predator, Melone lets his gaze wander over your body, lust and darkness swirling in his blue eyes.

You are unaware of how much he has longed for a moment with you. He’s grown tired of you avoiding him. You’re his perfect match: the compatible birth charts, the messages from the tarot cards, all of it let to you being his. Or so it should be, in his mind.

You are repulsed by him and do your best to get off from his grasp on you.

Melone doesn’t mind your resistance, perceiving it only as an encouragement for his advances.

He rambles about how he’s got some fun Christmas games prepared for you. Though you definitely don’t want anything about the nature of these supposed games…

With one final push, you finally manage to get out of his hold, a scowl adorning your face. Throwing a rude comment at him, you eventually leave Melone and his creepy tendencies.

The Italian watches you storming off, a smirk on his face. He doesn’t worry about this incidence. He will get you afterwards, he’s made sure off it.

“You should touch me more often like that, amore.” “You’re disgusting Melone, next time I’ll leave you out to die.”

“I’ve got some special games for you prepared. And if you behave well, I make sure to give you a gift.” You get sick to your stomach at his words.

Yan! Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio seethes with anger as he stumbles through the door. Why did he have to get attacked this bad by the enemy? Though he’s more than proud to have annihilated them.

As you see the man clutching his wounded side enter, you make your way to him to heal him, earning a scornful look by the prideful Italian.

What you don’t know is that his ego is only that big because he wants, like Risotto, appear strong in front of you.

During the healing process, a string of insults escape the assassin’s mouth. You roll your eyes at the dramatic behaviour.

Ghiaccio has a hard time to express his affection for you. At first, he has been annoyed by you infiltrating his mind, but now he has grown tender to it. He wishes he could be more soft with you, but having his feelings under control has never been his strong suit. Though he wants to try it today, because what day could be better than Christmas?

You grow uncomfortable by the hitman’s intense gaze. Tentatively, you ask him if everything’s alright.

Ghiaccio snaps out of his thoughts. Impulsively, he just blurts out if you wanna spend Christmas with him.

He keeps on going, saying that he usually hates the cheesiness that comes with the holiday, but he would like to make it a nice experience for you, with him by your side…

You interrupt his rambling by saying that you already spend the holidays with your family off-base.

Hearing your answer, the assassin’s hot anger returns. He’s making an effort for you, could you not see that? Why would you decline his offer then?

You are about to leave him as suddenly ice hits your feet and legs and you are frozen to the floor, giving you no choice as to remain in the room.

Ghiaccio didn’t mean to use White Album on you, but he can’t help it if you act so stubborn and ungrateful. Now you would spend Christmas with him for sure.

“This little son of a-“ “Ghiaccio please, calm down.”

“Spend Christmas with me. I know, I hate this corny shit, but with you, it will be more bearable.”

[icollectyoursins]

Gift Headcanons Prosciutto x Reader

Look. I know the holidays have just passed, but I am unashamedly a SIMP for all of La Squadra and I wanna give them gifts. I just love them. So here, have some (mostly) tender gift giving and receiving for da boyz. I’m excluding Sorbet and Gelato because I know next to nothing about them, sorry!

This one made me feel so warm and fuzzy on the inside. There’s just something about wholesome Prosciutto that makes me so weak. I think Risotto has some competition!

Risotto

Pesci

Illuso

Formaggio

Ghiaccio

Melone

Have a character, but no idea? Prompt list here!

Looking for more? Master post here!

WARNINGS: SFW, lots of wholesome kisses.

Word Count: 1127

Giving:

Prosciutto likes to show off and more importantly, he likes showing you off, so expect lots of flashy things, big rings, lots of gold necklaces, perfumes/cologne, bags, etc. Basically, if he had more money, he’d be your sugar daddy, but let’s face it! La Squadra is broke. 

That being said, he’ll probably buy you something nice. He saves up his cheques and counts his pennies until he can finally give you something worthwhile. A large ring decked out with every stone you love or tickets so the two of you can go on a cruise, something like that. 

He tries to be softer when presenting the gift, waiting until you’re at home to hand it to you. He didn’t mean to, but by the time he gives anything to you, you’ve started to think he’s forgotten what the day is or that something is off.

     Prosciutto stands in the doorway, holding a box behind his back, coyly smiling at you. Your back is to him as you’re getting undressed, giving him an excellent view of the goods so to speak. He chuckles to himself, excited to see your reaction. You’ll love it, he knows you will, but he can’t deny that tiny part of him that’s nervous.

     “Belissima,” he whispers under his breath. You gasp, turning around with your shirt covering your chest. A thankful, but exasperated sigh falls from your lips, muttering some kind of curse under your breath. He saunters over to you, wrapping his free arm around your waist. His lips graze your shoulders, whispering into your skin. “Sembri davvero invitante, mio caro/cara.”

     You chuckle, rolling your eyes. As sweet as his words were, you were still mad. Christmas night and the ass has said nothing to you, nor has he given you anything. He’s opened all his presents, yet you have nothing!

     “I’ve been neglecting you, caro/cara,” He kisses the nape of your neck. “But, I wanted to wait until we were alone.”

     “I thought you had forgotten or something,” you say, a little defeated. This had better be worth it.

     “I know and I promise to make it up to you, amore mio. For now, this will have to do.” Prosciutto brings his other arm around you, presenting you with the gift. It’s a simple box, marbled with blue and gold. The bow on top was a light gold to match. As his hands come to rest on your stomach you pull the top off, still pressing kisses into your shoulder.

     The first thing (well, things) you see are 2 slips of paper that look almost like...

     “A cruise?”

     He smiles. “Keep going, there’s more.” You chuckle, setting the tickets on the bed while you continued. 

     Underneath them was folded fabric. Upon pulling it out, you discovered a lovely new silk robe, deep navy with silver leaves embroidered into the cuffs and collar. You can feel his excitement as he nuzzles into you. Gently, you tossed the robe aside and finally at the bottom of the box was another box, though this one looked more like a jewelry box. 

     You opened it, eager to see what he had spent his money on this time. At least it was on you this time. Your eyes grew wide and you gasped loudly. Sitting pretty on satin was a small round charm; two circles, one enclosing the other. The centre one was a glossy stone that caught the light beautifully.

     “Hold it up to a light,” he said. You looked over to him, confused, but did as you were told, holding it up in front of you. There was small writing. You held it closer. Tears swelled in your eyes as you realized what it said. 

     The day you met.

     Always and forever

               yours.

     Then your anniversary. 

     “Oh, Prosciutto,” you whimpered, weepy-eyed. It was so stupid and cheesy, but somehow it still meant the world to you. He softly kissed away your tears, chuckling lightly. Yeah, he was pretty good, wasn’t he?

Receiving:

He loves getting gifts, especially from you. It strokes his ego in every pleasurable way. The look on your face when you know he loves it, knowing that you went out of your way to figure out what he wanted, the gift itself. Prosciutto eats it up.

If it’s coming from you homemade gifts are worth just as much to him as expensive ones. All of your time and effort put into one little thing for him? Bella/Bello you shouldn’t have. 

Generally, though, he likes stuff he can wear; that he can show off. A new suit (if you can afford it, or make it), more signet rings, new shoes (as if he doesn’t have enough already!), cologne, wine, brandy, etc. He likes expensive brands, so good luck keeping up with his tastes. He loves being spoiled as much as he loves spoiling his S/O.

     You sat on the edge of your seat, eagerly waiting for Prosciutto to open his gift. God, you knew he would like it, but your man was so finicky with his tastes that you were never sure what to get him. But this time, this time you think you got it. He reached under the tree for his gift; a tall decorated bag with tissue paper sticking out of the top.

     He looked at the tag, eyes flicking to you, full of suave delight. 

     “(Y/N),” he rumbles, low and sexy. “What’s this? For me?” You laugh. He pulled the tissue paper out, lighting up at the contents of the bag. With a dark chuckle, he pulled out his favourite, expensive brand of brandy. “I’m going to have fun with this, caro/cara.”

     “There’s more,” you say with a wink.

     Prosciutto laughs more, setting the bottle aside and continuing. Next, he picks up his favourite cologne. His grin is as wide as ever now, enjoying every bit of your attention. He arches an eyebrow at the box in the bottom. 

     “Oh, amor/amore mio!” He brings it out, instantly recognizing the brand name. With delicate shock, he opens it, laughing softly with joy. “How did you know?”

     It was a watch, but not just any watch! He had been eying this exact one for God knows how long and you-you just got it for him? He holds it up to his wrist, quickly attaching it to himself. It was gold in colour, perfectly matching his suit. Small white stones dotted the outer ring while the inside shined with what looked to be the most expensive metal he had ever seen. Inscribed along the top and bottom were dates. 

     The day you had met and your anniversary. 

     “Come here,” he said finally, pulling you into a sweet, passionate kiss. “You know how to spoil a man, amor/amore mio.”

     “Anything for you, Prosciutto.”

-----

Translations:

Belissima-Beautiful

Sembri davvero invitante, mio caro/cara-You look delicious, my dear

caro/cara-dear

amor/amore mio-my love

[jostepherjoestar]

Can I ask what would happen if the yakuza La Squadra member got drunk with majima and began singing 24 hour Cinderella (full costume and all) as the team watch confused and laughing their asses off and kiryu kinda just enjoying the reunion

I can only imagine La Squadra’s reaction when their yakuza La Squadra member who’s normally serious and kinda stoic starts singing and dancing with majima in flashy outfits that look like the 80’s puked on them

Former Yakuza La Squadra member letting loose at karaoke

When two anons think alike and cozy is loving this idea, it must happen because wow this is just *chefs kiss* thank you for asking my dearies 💖✨(we’re all allowed to call them oushi-chan fyi 😎, this was so fun to write so it’s a bit longer than expected) 24 hour cinderella is the song they sing

CW: excessive alcohol use, embarrassingly wholesome fun

Majima and Kiryu’s visit was sadly coming to an end. Their week spent in Napoli walking around with their old friend brought them some mindless new adventure that for once didn’t include having to ward off punks every street corner. It felt refreshing, their former colleague glad to show them around whenever they had the time, even spending afternoons with their current teammates and the guests. The men had slowly began bonding among them, the power of temporary friendship was not one bound by language barriers. Even though the stand users were experienced fighters, Kiryu and Majima had tips to lend for more streetwise moves which the group gladly accepted.

For their last night in Italy Majima had requested karaoke, it had become quite the fad overseas now. New karaoke bars popping up all over town carrying the cheesiest hits and unknown gems. Begrudgingly oushi-chan booked their room, it would be cramped with ten muscled humans packed in the small room, but they’d all grown a lot closer over time. It seemed like the visit did them good, opening up more about their past and letting their guard down, even if it was just a smidge. But nothing had completely broken that stoic façade just yet. It made the team of assassins even more interested in the life of their latest team member. Risotto knew how annoying it could be to have people prying at the gates, begging them to open up, so after his prank of calling them oushi-chan he opted to let them be and just observe.

The alcohol was flowing like waterfalls in rainy season, luckily for them they kept it at one kind, some good old Sambuca making the room stink of anise. Every shot taken irrupting groans and smacking lips as everyone had begun to loosen up. Formaggio and Illuso were actually getting along for once, even singing a duet together, the quality of their singing varying to whoever you asked. Prosciutto had brought along playing cards so they could all play a game or two between songs, bringing the mood up to a high tension. Whoever lost had to go up there and sing as punishment. Kiryu had been quite good at playing, gladly avoiding having to embarrass himself even though he’d been indulging in the Italian liqueur, sure he’d remember the smell forever. Risotto just seemed to enjoy the company and the bustling room that was loud enough without music filling it, carefully sipping his drink, he never really liked to get overtly wasted. Ghiaccio had been scowling all throughout the game, knee bouncing up and down in anticipation. If he were to lose, his biggest tantrum yet would take place, he was under no circumstances going to sing.

Unfortunately for oushi-chan, they were losing quite badly, all the way at the bottom followed by an unlucky Majima, who had slung his arm around Melone. They’d become quite familiar over the span of the visit; always glad to get into a fight. Both way over their alcohol intake, swaying every so often as Melone tricked him into playing the worst card possible by pointing it out and encouragingly nodding. With an exasperated groan the stoic drunk slammed their cards down, knowing the punishment that followed. Majima only grew a mischievous grin as he started digging behind him on the cushioned booth. “Here oushi-chan, I thought I’d return it to you.” he handed a folded jacket over, the iridescent lapels glinting in the low light while their eyes widened as they recognised it. “Majima... you didn’t.” a soft, bordering on emotional, glint of nostalgia hazing their eyes. The Sambuca had taken its toll, letting al inhibitions take a backseat as they accepted the jacket they so loved to dance around in on drunk nights like these. Of course only them and Majima knew of it, not another soul had seen them executing their trained choreographies. It still smelled like smoke and apple flavoured sake as they put it on, nodding to Majima who had surprisingly brought along his own matching cropped sparkly jacket, like he’d been planning on this all along. It had been his plan, his most fond memories of any kind were having mindless fun with his beloved oushi-chan.

The rest of the group had begun egging them on, nagging for the two losers to get up front and engage in their retribution. Prosciutto noticed the tacky matching jackets, nudging his colleagues to pay attention as he barely contained a cackle. All eyes were on them, a devious grin on Illuso’s and Melone’s faces as they admired the shell oushi-chan crept out of as they looked through the song choices. Luckily for the two performers, their favourite song had become a cult classic in a few select European countries, Italy including. The serious frowned brows on their face didn’t match the sparkly outfit, Risotto fully intrigued at what was to follow, hardly even trying to conceal his amusement.

The clammy room was filled with hushed voices trying to make sense of the two in front, looking like an idol duo preparing for their concert, heads down, mics in hand. “Sta' zitto!” the former yakuza’s voice commanded the room as the men shut up, Kiryu knowing Majima’s usual performances already anticipating a great show, a slight smirk on his lips. As the nostalgic corny 80′s synths started, their heads snapped up, commencing their show. Formaggio instantly cackled in shock, slapping Pesci’s arm to assure him he was seeing this as well, the green tufted man’s mouth slack as he took in the show. As they began singing, voices harmonising beautifully and not even missing a beat, the team of assassins were perplexed by the smile adorning their teammate’s face. They beamed confidence, those fiery eyes they’d seen in battle now equipped as a different weapon. Ghiaccio couldn’t contain his smirk either, never had he expected to witness this display. The dimple on Risotto’s cheek now at full potential when their usually stoic underling shot him a wink during their performance. The duo slid over their small stage, energetic moves from side to side while still perfectly singing along. How many times have they done this before, a question on everyone’s minds. Kiryu wasn’t even surprised, he knew those two were close, knowing that their fights weren’t the only bonding they were doing.

As the two would-be-idols finished up, resting in their final pose while catching their breaths, their audience broke out in cheers and applause. “How did you guys do that?!” Formaggio yelled as he took their teammate under his shoulder, wobbling from his drunken state. They sat down, taking big gulps of water to satiate their thirst from performing, their stoic face making a comeback as the complements overlapped, not even being clear who was saying what. Melone slinking back next to Majima giving him a double thumbs up, admiring how great he did, while the other man coyly rubbed his neck shooting Kiryu a look who just smirked back telling him to handle this himself. “You will never see me do this again and I hope you all forget by morning.” oushi-chan slurred, wiping their mouth with the jacket. They didn’t regret the performance, it felt freeing to let loose again, especially with their old friend, but it was still embarrassing to have done it in front of the team knowing they’d tease later on.

After a lot of chatter, the room was starting to quiet down again as the night was coming to an end. A lazy game of cards being played as some others conversed among themselves, Kiryu and Majima out for a smoke with Prosciutto. Risotto slid over next to the sleepy idol who’d been leaning their head against the soft cushioned booth, halfway to dreamland. “That was really impressive, never saw that coming.” Risotto’s deep voice snapped them out of the stupor, their face only flushing more than previously. “You’re not blackout drunk are you?” they whispered trying to focus on their capo who was moving around their blurry vision. “Not even close.” he smirked, laying a compassionate hand on their shoulder. “Don’t worry, you can beat the memories out of them later.” he joked trying to put them at ease with the threatening suggestion. “That’s great.” yawning as their eyes fluttered closed again, the alcohol and activity having taken its toll. All the while oushi-chan slowly fell forward, hitting Risotto’s chest and accepting the comforting pillow it made. His plush muscles formed a very nice resting place for the exhausted drunk. The ambience of the room was like white noise humming them to sleep, a small satisfied groan coming from them as Risotto let them rest, taking another sip of his drink, glad to have seen a different side of his latest member.

[kirieshhhka003]

I just wanted to say I love your writing a lot already. Would you be willing to do a yandere Illuso? If you need a prompt from that list I really liked “Killing for you is my favorite hobby”. That’d be a real interesting prompt for any of La Squadra! Thank you in advance ❤️

Thank you for your support and request, sweetie💚

Prompt 19: “Killing for you is my favourite hobby.”

Pairing: Illuso x reader

Warnings: gore, yandere behavior

Killing for you is my favorite hobby

You were sitting on a ground, your face was covered in tears and blood. You were watching your always kind and amiable boyfriend tormenting a corpse of a poor guy - well, that what remained of him. You couldn’t move a muscle, all you were able to do is quietly sobbing and begging god to end this madness up.

How did you end up like this?

It was a great day, you woke up in a surprisingly great mood, you were full of energy and strength for a new day. After taking a shower you decided to surprise your boyfriend with his favorite meal. You got to cooking and next few hours you spend by chopping vegetables, mixing ingredients, frying and baking. You tried to cause as little noise as possible, so you won’t wake up your boyfriend. And finally, your culinary masterpiece was ready so you decided that it’s time for your beloved to wake up.

- Honey, wake up, breakfast is ready and waiting for you. - You softly whispered in his ear while gently stroking his back. A young man slightly opened his right eye and looked at you kinda disgruntledly. For a few minutes he was just laying in your shared warm bed, enjoying a caress you were giving him, and when his mind was able to think properly, he asked:

- Why did you wake up so early? - you could hear a note of discontent in his voice, but moment later his tone switched to sweet and gentle, he looked at you lovingly and asked with a happy smile - What did you cook? - he looked like a fat lazy cat, waiting for his owner to feed him already, this sudden change made you chuckle a little.

- Lasagna, and you better hurry up, or it’ll completely cool - you answered and slightly pinched his cheek.

After breakfast you both, full and satisfied, decided to watch TV. As usual, there was nothing interesting to watch and Illuso was just mindlessly changing channels in an attempt to find something worthy. You were so bored, and a sudden idea came up to your mind.

- Hey, Illuso - you said in a slow drawl and ran your fingers through his soft brown hair.

- Whaaat - he replied in a same whining way, accepting your caress. He leaned towards your face and kissed you softly, what almost made you forget what you wanted to say.

- Let’s go for a walk, please? I’m so bored, I wanna go out somewhere nice. Maybe we’ll have a date, huh? - you said kinda clingy, slightly whimpering and looking at him with a puppy dog eyes. Your boyfriend gave you a “are you kidding me” look, you could see that he didn’t expect this question. He looked back at the TV screen and pondered about something for a while. When you gave up on the idea of taking a walk, Illuso said:

- You know, why not? It’s boring to stay at home all day long and do nothing. Moreover, an idea with date is cool, whe didn’t go out for a while. What do you wanna go? - your mood jumped up immediately, a happy wide smile appeared on your face.

- Shopping! - you shouted and hugged your boyfriend tightly. - Shopping! Shopping!

- Why am I not surprised? - replied Illuso and hugged you back.

***

Everything went well, you bought a lot of different stuff, your wardrobe was waiting for a few new things. It was a wonderful day, you two had a lot of fun. The evening was coming on and you decided to come home. You planned to buy some snacks on the way back and have a movie night.

Suddenly you heard male voice referring to you:

- Hey babe! Yeah, I’m talking to you! You wanna hang out with me tonight, huh? C’mon, you won’t regret it, I promise! - You turned around to see a person who was talking to you. It was a young man, maybe the same age as Illuso, he was slightly drunk, but you could see that he really meant what he said. You looked at Illuso but it seemed like he didn’t even notice someone talking to you.

- I-I’m sorry, but I’m with my boyfriend, so can you leave us? - You said stuttering, your voice was trembling.

- Boyfriend? This guy? Oh, c’mon, look at me, I’m way better than he is! So, let’s go with me! - He reached his hand to wrap it around your shoulder, but on the halfway it was intercepted by Illuso. He looked at the stranger with a purest smile on his face and said:

- Oh really? Well, I’d like to go with you too. What is that? You don’t like this idea? Well, if so, I want to show you something, let’s go! - Illuso grabbed both you and this guy and led you two somewhere. It took a few moments for man to realize what happened, but it was too late.

Suddenly you realized that something was off about this place, you were in a downtown area, but there were no people around. But how? Just a moment ago those streets were full of passers by.

- The fuck you want from me, you weirdo?! - A young man wrenched his hand out from Illusso’s grip and stepped back, ready to fight. When he looked down on his fists he noticed that something was wrong.

- What? Where the hell my left hand gone? - A few moments later a piercing cry split the silence of an empty streets. Dark, almost black blood gushed out of his wound, the man fell on his back and started to roll on the ground in pain and agony. You looked up on Illuso and saw that he was holding something in his hand, when you looked closer you understood that that was this guy’s missing arm.

A huge lump appeared in your throat, tears started to fall down your cheeks. Illuso came closer to man, swirling on the ground, and stepped on his chest.

- So you’re saying that you’re better than me, huh? Well, this whole situation proves that you were wrong - a smug smirk appeared on his face as he moved his foot from guy’s chest to his neck and than shifted all his weight on this foot. You could hear this poor guy’s bones cracking under the pressure that Illuso caused.

You backed from them two but your trembling legs weakened and you fell right on the ground. This poor guy was still alive when Illuso tore out his other arm. And again, and again, and again, he was tearing his body apart like a butcher carving up a carcase. Illuso didn’t even try to be tidy - he was covered in blood from top to toe, some of it got on your face and mixed with tears.

- See? That happens to everyone who gets in our way. But you don’t have to worry about that, I’ll continue to take care of it by myself. And, to be honest, killing for you is my favourite hobby - Illuso smiled softly at you and returned to the deed.

You were sitting there, covered in blood and street dust, trembling from cold and fear, quietly sobbing and watching your always kind and amiable boyfriend tormenting a corpse of a poor guy - well, what remained of him.

Masterlist

It was very hard for me to write all this violence scenes, so this was the first and the last time I wrote gore

[oingos-bitch]

Illuso Headcanons -- La Squadra’s House of Fuckery

A request from my Ao3!

The second-tallest member of La Squadra.

Follows a strict hair/skincare regimen (how do you think he keeps his hair that shiny?).

Tweezes his eyebrows often (sometimes to the point that he has to draw them in).

Went to a décor store a couple of times, got mistaken for a quilt whenever he stood around for too long.

Hates going to furniture/home goods shops, naturally.

Goes to the gym with Formaggio and sometimes Ghiaccio.

Has a friend/enemy relationship with Formaggio.

They frequently argue over who has the better stand, sometimes taking it too far and escalating into a stand fight (though it’s somewhat rare).

Other than that, they’re alright with each other, with Formaggio inviting Illuso to lunch or somewhere on occasion.

Illuso’s kind of a loner; outside of missions and talking with the rest of his group he doesn’t really do much.

Has a habit of retreating to the mirror world whenever he’s particularly upset about something.

The King of Backhanded Insults™. For La Squadra, at least.

Not even Prosciutto’s wit can hold a candle to Illuso’s.

Was one of those burnt-out gifted kids.

Throughout most of his schooling he was put into honours class after honours class, and by the time he got into high school he began to rebel slightly.

He began to ridicule lowerclassmen and even some of his own classmates whom he felt were not up to his standards, and absurdly enough, began to hang out with dropouts that he met around the city.

At this moment he had his first brush with the mafia, witnessing his friends hunt after rival gang members and tagging along during drug deals.

A student from his class ratted him out to the headmaster and when he got home he was met with a slap from his mother, who was distraught at what her son had become.

In between sniffles she explained that the headmaster threatened to expel him from the school if he didn’t clean up his act, and he agreed to stop, for her sake.

After he graduated he didn’t have much of a sense of purpose, and on a whim he decided to join Passione because “Why the hell not?”

He promptly began to distance himself from his mother after that, which hurt him greatly.

Illuso writes letters to her frequently, though always under his birth name and always delivered by himself when she’s not at home.

Has a soft spot for his family, and anyone that reminds him of such (though to an extent).

A bit of a hopeless romantic at heart, though he never shows it because it embarrasses him.

A fan of movies, but not as much as books.

The type to point out every. single. criticism that he has about a movie, more so if it’s based on a book he has read.

And don’t get him started on his favourite book.

Has a knack for memorizing things.

Can and will fall asleep anywhere.

Once he had fallen asleep at a meeting, knocking the fuck out and falling face-first from the couch onto the floor. The rest of the team couldn’t get him to wake up so they had to postpone the meeting until he did.

Loves and appreciates fancy things, specifically high-end food.

He’ll make somewhat of a fuss if something isn’t to his tastes, but if he’s really upset he’ll turn to eating the most gag-inducing junk foods from the local bargain store’s bottom shelf.

Catch him eating sprayable cheese straight from the can.

Nah I’m joking about the spray cheese, I just kept thinking about it

But he’d eat a lot of junk food.

Probably likes to listen to bands like System of a Down and occasionally Eurodance (Cascada’s his guilty pleasure artist hurr hurr).

Or whatever’s on the radio at the time.

Sometimes he has those moments of “Ugh, is that even music ?”  

Haha boomer Illuso

Great at Pictionary.

More of a coffee person than a tea person.

Likes to play beer pong.

But only if it’s followed by expensive liquor to wash the taste out of his mouth.

One of his favourite sweets is scones, he’ll go apeshit for scones.

He learned how to make them to satisfy his craving, but it didn’t go well and now he heads to a certain bakery every now and then to treat himself.

Likes to annoy Formaggio, but gets bored after a while so he starts annoying Prosciutto.

Likes to flick Pesci on the head when he’s bored.

[diovstheworld]

Hi may I please ask for headcanons for La Squadra plus Sorbet and Gelato reacting to some walking up to their s/o asking them to cover their freckles becuase they look ugly with them? If not I can ask another

hi anon! of course! and thank you for specifying sorbet and gelato, i always feel kind of bad when i leave them out 😭 anyway here you go! sorry this took me a little while to get to (university is kicking my ass rn) and sorry if this post seems repetitive 😭

୨ ╭ ୨୧ ✦ ︶꒷꒦・⎯⎯・⎯⎯・₊ˎ✧๑

Formaggio:

well firstly, i headcanon him as having freckles himself so when he hears this, he’s gonna go crazy for sure

your freckles are his favourite thing about you so to hear someone insult one of the many things he loves about you then he’s obviously going to be angry as hell

honestly, i think he would cause a scene. no one gets to call his s/o ugly! plus it’s simply not true!

he’s definitely going to start an argument with this person, maybe even give a little punch in retaliation

he’s not letting anyone away with that, that’s for sure!

Prosciutto:

gently covering your ears and walking you away from the situation

he’s definitely going to be taking your hand and trying to comfort you about the situation

while telling you that what was said was just not true at all! he can’t emphasise enough how beautiful you are!

warns you within an inch of your life to never cover up your freckles just for other people

tells you, like he always does, to only do things for you and what makes you happy. not what other people want you to do

Risotto:

i think much like prosciutto, he’s calmly removing you from the situation

but in his head, he’s plotting this persons death for sure. no one gets away with saying such lies about his s/o

even though he seems to be keeping composed, he’s furious. he immediately shuts down this person who just insulted you

before then turning to you, checking if you’re alright and reassuring you that your freckles are unique and cute and he loves them

after the situation unfolds, he’s offering to take you for coffee (or any beverage you prefer!) to try and take your mind off it

Illuso:

normally if someone told him something like this, he would brush it off. he loves himself too much to care for the opinion of others (or so he tries to portray) lmao BUT when it comes to his s/o, he’s going to be MAD

first of all, no one gets to call you ugly. not even he would dare call you that as a joke

he’s moving you aside and covering your ears while he talks to this person

oh, and when he’s talking back to them, he’s hurling a hundred other insults at them. they crossed the line the second they called you ugly

afterwards, he will comfort you. after all, you are his s/o, and he doesn’t want anyone saying stuff like that to you

Ghiaccio:

okay, honestly, he’s going nuts. absolutely crazy

he’s not even taking the time to process what just happened, he’s getting right into yelling at this person

just like the others, he’s protective of you and insulting you like that was his last straw

no one’s getting away with calling you ugly, and ghiaccio will make sure they suffer for their crimes. he’s going to be yelling at them for a while. much like formaggio, i can see him maybe even punching this person at the end of his rant

afterwards, he’s also probably warning you not to cover up just because of what other people say and think. this accidentally ends up being a little bit of a rant, but he means well!

also reminds you that your freckles are adorable and they don’t need to be covered anyway

Melone:

immediately taking your hand to comfort you, while looking at the person who said such nasty words to you

he’s shutting them down immediately. their opinion on your freckles was not true, and he’s going to make sure this person learns that what they said was not okay

once he puts this person in his place, he’s leading you to someplace quiet to check on you and give you a reassuring hug as well as some kind words

afterwards, he’s probably suggesting you both go home. he has a relaxing bath with you and does some face masks with you to try and take your mind off of the situation

Pesci:

so even though i feel pesci is not that confident and is pretty shy, he’s not going to let this slide

he’s going to speak up for his s/o after all

calmly and politely lecturing this person on why it’s wrong to come up to people and say such words, as well as emphasising the point that what they said was just completely false

again he’s taking your hand, making sure you’re okay. doesn’t wait till you guys are somewhere quiet for a hug, he just does it

much like risotto, he’s taking you out somewhere to take your mind off it. he lets you choose. he will go anywhere as long as it makes you happy!

Sorbet and Gelato:

the both of them are already very protective of their significant other but they’re probably doing a combination of what i’ve already said before

one of them is dealing with this person who’s just insulted you, while the other is walking you away from the situation

it might get messy, especially with the insult that just got thrown your way and they don’t want you to see the aftermath of it all

and if you ask them about what happened back there, they probably won’t divulge any details to you for your own good

but they care for their s/o a lot! it all comes from a place of love. they are very loving partners so everything they do always does come from a place of love and care for their s/o

[staruplatinum]

NSFW Illuso Headcannons

Illuso deserves way more love than he gets. Shoutout to this babe @satansoull for helping me come up with some of these ;)

Illuso is honestly really kinky, even almost to Melone’s level.

Next to Risotto, Illuso is also packing big down there. He’s 9 inches when fully hard, and he’s got quite a big girth on him as well.

He’s uncut, and his dick has 2 really thick veins on it.

Illuso has many kinks, and voyeurism is definitely one of them. This can come in any form, but his favourite is using his stand to bring you into the mirror world, and fuck you through the public mirror at the la Squadra base. He wants his teammates to see him railing you from behind, or forcing you to shove his length down your throat.

He’s smug about it too, he wants his teammates to get hard off watching you get fucked by him. Afterwards he’ll act like it never even happened.

He loves you and you are his only, if you forget that even for a moment he can turn into a really rough dom.

I’m talking being tied up to a chair, mirrors all around you, and a vibrator taped to your clit. He’ll make you orgasm over and over until you’re a crying, wet mess. And oh - you’re going to have to watch yourself in the mirror. He’ll be watching too, and he’s very smug about it.

If you’re dating illuso, hell always expect you to carry a hand mirror on you, as it offers easy access. There have been too many times he’ll use his stand to finger you through the mirror, especially during moments that he should not be doing this.

He‘s a peeping tom, and he loves to watch you nasturbate. There’s no privacy when Illuso’s is around.

Illuso also has a size kink, he knows he’s tall and that his piece is big, so watching it stretch you out is a really big turn on.

He obviously loves mirrors and he will fuck you, finger you , and eat you out in front of one. He loves to see the expressions you make.

His favourite position is reverse cowgirl, that way he can watch himself slide in and out of you and see all the pretty faces you make.

He’s usually quite silent, but in bed he’s very cocky and pretty talkative.

“Mmm, look at yourself tesoro. Look at how wet your cunt is for me,”

“I love watching your tight cunt get stretched by me. Look, Dolcezza! - look at how you stretch around my cock. Is it too much? come on, you can take it.”

He’ll also praise you endlessly in bed. Constantly calling you his good girl, his baby girl, etc.

He doesn’t necessarily have a breeding kink, but seeing you filled with his cum sure does get him rock hard again.