#illumination of spirit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

queenofallwitches · 2 years ago

Text

Lucifer the Light Bearer walking me through the hell that was to come....

from a piece of writing done in November 2008 i was still in high school, interesting to read as a ceremonial magician who is now 10 years into her practice to see this in hindsight because I had LITTLE/NO CONSCIOUS knowledge/gnosis of any evocation or invocation methods unless it was dissociative. or called forth into writings from a part of myself which I think It would have to be, back in high school. I had just had my first REAL heartbreak, for context. which ripped my soul apart allowing my parts from childhood to peep through. my only knowledge of spirituality came from mediumship and spiritism with my grandmother in childhood, which involved intense seances, channelling, underground any other ritualistic factors from were split from my conscious awareness but to know thiss from age 16 means I had to have the knowledge somewhere.

Lucifer in the Mirror 14/11/2008

So your back to play round four are you? I just saw you lurking at me from across the room, igniting layers upon layers as you let it it surround the air breezing around us. I inhale, carefully at first of course, always the way i was taught to encourage things, proceed through this world with caution, observe from the outside before jumping in. You know more about this than i do, well part of you does.

The part that you’ve hidden and i’ve taken.

The part of you that loved me. The evil and delicious part of you that is being deprived from me right now. You made me fall in love with you, and then you left me. I fucking hate you for that, its downright obvious what you did to me.

You call me cruel for cheating on you, well your 100 x worse for leaving me, let karma roll out its dirty and sly path in front of us now.

Lets allow time to direct us too whatever lies ahead, expect the unexpected. I’m fucked and i’m dying.

How does it feel? Because its tearing me apart. I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR THIS, HOW DOES IT FUCKING FEEL I HOPE THIS FUCKING KILLS YOU,

YOU'RE A FUCKING MONSTER AND THE EARTH WILL SWALLOW YOU WHOLE FOR THIS DREADFUL REALM YOU LEFT ME IN.

ALONE, COLD, SHIVERING IN THE DARK.

You speak in tongues within my head, the oh so obvious black and white, devil and god dichotomy that rages inside your manic depressive heart.

Your moods will one day coexist with mine again, i believe and then you will completely understand again.

But your out their, surging with manic desires as i watch you evolve.

You told me i was fucking ugly, you hurt me terribly. You knew it would kill me, you knew that this would kill me, but you carried on with your selfish fucking shit. You wanted to get rid of me in the classiest and most eloquent way possible, a way you could blame me directly for the breakup- oh she cheated on me, she deserved me leaving her. But that just gave you an excuse didn’t it? Another fucking excuse to run and hide from the raging truth i had exposed to you. The water will never wash this away, one day maybe but not today, or tomorrow, or even two thousand centuries on ward will the water wash it away, but regardless still maybe one day. I hate you, i hate you for the cruelty you rolled amongst my life. Your A FUCKING MANIAC, YOU PSYCHOPATH.

Remember this when you fall asleep each night, with alcohol flooding your veins and the taste of other girls painted across your lips.

Remember that you spoke these undying curses to me, and once you sip from this cup you must repay me for the bullshit you induced. Remember a glass can only spill what it contains,

and for many people all they see you is as a half diluted, uncherished, disheartened, half empty glass.

"How do you do, how do you do? My name is you."

33838383838

"i don’t want you to be alone to be alone down there. " - modest mouse.

Are you still having fun?

I hope you die alone, i hope i find somebody who will love me like you never could.

I hope somebody will fill the gap because you failed so miserably, just like all the rest. Only this time worse, far far worse.

"How do you, how do you do? My name is you. Flies they gather around me, and you too."

Well you can deny and hide from the vicious circumstance of truth but its time for me to let go, to move forward with my life and let go of the past.

I rise. Even in the ashes I'm burning alive within now. I will rise. You can’t drag me back to your lair, only to push me away once again.

Love has killed someone who loved death, and now I can't even fathom dying.

Love is the most powerful lifeforce that creates new life. Sex and death.

I love you dearly, but i don’t love the new you,

But I am the new you, you embody the old me.

i simply love who you used to be.

I will love who I can become through learning who you taught me to be.

Goodbye you liar, when you can own up and face me again we will resume our quest, whatever that means, but until then i say goodbye .

You wanted to take the path that was the easy way to bow out, the cowards way, that time your sadistic stepmother won your heart over me.

I guess your love for me was pale compared to the love I burst with for you, because IN NO UNIVERSE OR TIMELINE WOULD I EVER DO THIS TO YOU, OR ANYONE.

Lucifer once more fills my spirit with the companionship nobody else can and when

I look in the mirror I see his luminous stare strangling my reflection, urging me to take back my power, LUCIFER IS MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND.

HE IS MEANT TO BE YOURS TOO, But you have betrayed us both.

take the blade over what pain you caused me, this heart shattered already is now fragmented into embers of oblivion. He keeps me sane, when the pain eats away at what sickness once rotted my brain.

I hear your logic, your words of mercurial wisdom, your Gemini triplicity.

It comes off as borderline sociopathic but in the most endearing way. More compelling than being an impulsive, messy, melodramatic, hyperactive mess like I.

I will task your inner voice that is not warm, but cold and dark. Lucifer offers more warmth than your memories do.

I will task the memory of your wit and merge it into my brain so you will always be inside me, a perfect way to sanctify my heartbreak and ritualistically kill the love you stole. Forever I will benefit from the best of you, You cannot take from me until you learn how much pain this has caused me.

You have gone too far.

You will be BOUND to pain and made felt equal proportions, I summon LUCIFER to seal your fate, stab your heart thrice, until your quest is complete.

The grand equaliser, the scales of justice and the law of balance.

I stare back and my eyes green, glisten, Lucifer, slides inside my soul forever, for you will never realise the errors of your ways. Lucifer says I must call forward higher legions of demons to bind you, and I am here to learn my lessons. But the deep knowing is clear that you will be made to feel many things that are born from pain. This is due to your shunning my pain, how dare you turn your back on what this was for the want of complacent fear!!

How could you think that could be anything but a recipe for the worst nemesis to rise from the false sense of security, and empty words, was it even real for you or was it all part of your pick up manual ?

No retrospective thoughts, feelings and comments other than my pain were on par to this line of thought. This is my thorn, and because Lucifer is the morning star, Hepesteus, the illumination of the morning light of Venus, in mythology, I possibly embodied to protect and preserve myself. I have a retrospective notion due to recent spiritual evocation that Lucifer had approached me along with the dark goddess Hekate, as I believe there is an inherent link between the two, THAT IS ALL I CAN SAY. I went through what can only be described as the unofficial qlippoth initiation after this period of time, and survived. I also have a truly rebellious, fallen spirit. I was at rock bottom here, so perhaps, chosen for the courage and bravery I was demonstrating in a time I was being shunned and shamed by all aspects externally.

Some references from occult sources that are meditations on the theme of the origin of LUCIFER:

The dwelling of the gods and the riding of the clouds are both known to us from the Ras Shamra texts at Ugarit in N. Syria, and so too is Dawn a deity, of whom this figure is described as a son.

The most high is Elyon, the title so often used of God…. All these elements may be paralleled in the Old Testament, suggesting how richly Canaanite religion and mythology have influenced Old Testament thought.

(Interpreters One Volume Commentary of the Bible, 1971)

Eliphas Lévi explains the symbolism of Lucifer:

What is more absurd and more impious than to attribute the name of Lucifer to the devil, that is, to personified evil.

The intellectual Lucifer is the spirit of intelligence and love; it is the Paraclete, it is the Holy Spirit, while the physical Lucifer is the great agent of universal magnetism.

To personify evil and exalt it into an intelligence which is the rival of God, into a being which can understand but love no more – this is a monstrous fiction.

To believe that God permits this evil intelligence to deceive and destroy his feeble creatures is to make God more wicked than the devil. By depriving the devil of the possibility of love and repentance, God forces him to do evil.

Moreover a spirit of error and falsehood can only be a folly which thinks, nor does it deserve indeed the name of spirit. The devil is God’s antithesis, and if we define God as He who is we must define His opposite as he who is not.

(Eliphas Lévi, The Mysteries of Magic)

"Lucifer, or Luciferus, is the name of the angelic Entity presiding over the light of truth as over the light of day… to the profane [the uninitiated] the Astral Light [universal Soul, the Matrix of the Universe] may be God and Devil at once…. Lucifer is divine and terrestrial light, the “Holy Ghost” and “Satan” at one and the same time….

The Fall was the result of man’s knowledge, for his “eyes were opened.” Indeed, he was taught Wisdom and the hidden knowledge by the “Fallen Angel”…. And now it stands proven that Satan, or the Red Fiery Dragon, the “Lord of Phosphorus,” and Lucifer, or “Light-Bearer,” is in us: it is our Mind – our tempter and Redeemer, our intelligent liberator and Saviour from pure animalism.

Without this principle – the emanation of the very essence of the pure divine principle Mahat (Intelligence), which radiates directly from the Divine mind – we would be surely no better than animals.

(Helena Petrovna Blavatsky, The Secret Doctrine, 1888)

" The Roman Church concocted the Lucifer-as-Satan myth after they took over emergent Christianity in the early 300s, as evidenced by references to both Tertullian and Jerome.

If Lucifer is so important, why is nothing else ever said? Light Bearer, Morning Star; nothing negative about that.

Lucifer not only does not mean anything negative, as a matter of fact, it doesn’t really seem to mean anything at all, biblically speaking.

Out of the over 800,000 words in the Bible and the Apocrypha, Lucifer appears once, and then in an ambiguous reference.

Whatever the word means to certain Christian sects, theosophical and metaphysical groups, or secret societies, as you can clearly see it does not come from the Bible!"

(Harrell Rhome, New Dawn Magazine, 2009)

4 notes · View notes