#ill-be-back-on-november-22

[endereies]

TAKE A SICK DAY - CS

No Nut November - Day 22

NNN Masterlist...

-➤ Chris looks after you when you are sick

Begrudgingly, you listened to Chris. The last week had you coughing and borderline throwing up most mornings. You felt every cell in your body vibrate as you moved, causing feelings on your body to linger. Chris knew something was wrong when your headaches started to last longer than usual. Medication didn’t make it go away.  

So, against your will, Chris called in sick to your job while you were asleep and turned off your alarms. The previous night, you had gotten worse, throwing up at 4 in the morning. You didn’t ‘wake’ him up to assist you, he did that himself. It was as if he could tell you were no longer beside him. 

You were stubborn and never took sick days unless it was an emergency. But after seeing you deny how you feel, he needed to step in. 

“Baby..? What time is it?” the light had begun to seep in the windows and as you sat on your elbows, your head pulsed. 

“it’s noon. And you’re staying where you are.” You immediately jolted up once you heard the time, being forced awake by his voice. 

“What! Chris, I have work!” He placed his grip on your shoulders, pushing you back with ease. “I’ve called in sick, I heard you throwing up your guts last night. You have been ill for over a week, please...take a sick day and take care of yourself.” 

You looked down at yourself, trying to convince yourself that you were fine. That was until the coughing started again. The chesty cough making your head pulse harder said all it needed to.  

“Fine.”  

He smiled gently and leant over to open a drawer, pulling out some medication and a bottle of water. “Here, you have that, I’ll get some food ordered. What do you want, baby?” 

You pondered while you took down the medication in one go, leaning towards a few options. “anything?”  

“Obviously, anything you want, I’ll get for you.” He brought uber eats up on his phone and handed it to you, giving you free will to choose. A few shops had what you had been craving and eventually you added Chicken Alfredo to the order. You had been craving the creamy pasta for two weeks and when you finally bought the ingredients, you fell ill, having no energy to make it. 

“Chicken Alfredo? No soup or anything?” A small nod answered his question. 

“I’ve been craving that for too long to pass it up.” He chuckled, placing his own order in before placing his phone by his side. 

“C’mere baby” His arms were held open, a perfect gap by his side for your body to lie in. Slowly, you grabbed your water and shuffled towards him, his body feeling like a hot water bottle in comparison to yourself. His arm rubbed up and down your back, tracing soothing patterns across your spine. You weren’t going to admit it, but this is what you had been craving the last few days. A soft sigh past your lips as you nuzzled further into his chest. 

You felt the vibrations of his laugh and the tilt of his body as he leant down to kiss your cheek. “Chris...I’m sick, you’re gonna get ill too..” 

“Baby. You’ve been ill the last week, I’ve been doing this while you sleep anyway, does it look like I give a fuck?” His lips then fell to yours, silencing any protests you had. 

“Just rest now..” 

@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerrss @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris @colorthecosmos444 @anabethinking @zay-sturns @anyaa2s @emilyfaith2003 @jassturn @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @sturniolosiphone @ribread03 @slutf4rmatt @spaghetti835928383 @flouvela

© ENDEREIES 2024

[wolftarotcrafts]

Hey guys, if you haven't checked out my last future spouse tarot reading, it was about how they look. You can find it here.🤗

Pile One

Hi, pile one for your future spouse's personality. I do see them as a very caring and compassionate person. I see them as a risk-taker and an adventurous person. They are also very ambitious, and they will go after what they want. I see them being hard workers. I will say it because they are ambitious. I see one flaw that they do have is that they may be a little bit of a manipulator in their career. I see they may try and use others to gain an advantage or use others for their own gain. I don't think they do that with ill intent, because I see them as nurturing and compassionate. I see they don't play about their career either. They aren't heartless; they do care, but their career and their goals matter to them greatly. It could be that they use the people that used them or use others that aren't the best people. They could think of it as repaying the favor in a way. I can also see them being a little petty, but again, they do care; they are very nurturing individuals, and they have soft spots. They are kind people, and I see them giving back to the community and to people in need. Your future spouse is a very balanced individual. 

Extra: 1, 10, 22, 222, 1212 Cancer, Aries, Sagittarius, Pisces, March, E, Z, I, V, J, Hardworking, Career, Canada, Asia, birthmark, pursuit, chasing dreams, Overseas, seahorses, traveling, going abroad, sightseeing, hotels, Big Ben, bus, plane, countryside, big city, children, wanting a family. 

Pile Two

Hello pile two! I see that for your future spouse, I see them being an introvert; they may like to spend more time at home than going to parties. I see them being really spiritual and very smart. I see them being very wise, and they give some really great advice. They are really good listeners. I do see that they may have some emotional scars, and I see they have been through something that really hurt them, but I also see that they pushed through. I feel they are very quiet and shy, and above all, they have a safe and calm aura and energy about them. I see them as healers and creative people. I see they take their self-care very seriously. I see they like to spend time alone doing their meditation and hobbies. I see if they are working on something, they will give it their all and put 100% into it. I don't see them being the type of person to half-ass anything.

Extra: 444, Virgo, short, blue eyes, cleansing, love, journal, writing, painting, artwork, novel, reading, solo time, bookworm, swans, body of water, ponds, wish, (pink) flowers, November, Shadowhunters. 

Pile Three

Hey, pile three. I see that your future spouse is very loyal and dependable. If you need them, they are there; no questions asked. If you need help with something, they will help you out as much as they can. For example, if you need money, they will give you the money; if you need a ride, they will drive you. No matter how big or small the task is. Whatever you need, they will help you out. I can see them being very wise people. I do see that they move very fast and can possibly love bomb, but I just think they want to do these nice things because they are really generous, so communicate and talk to them if you feel uncomfortable. I think they move fast without even realizing that they are doing it. I see they really like to experience new things, and they might be bold. I see them liking to dance and try new things.

Extra: 12, 15, 20, 29, H, fire signs, Capricorn, Leo, elegant, classy, funny, smart, USA, South America, Mexico, October, muscular, moving, shake it up, purple, brown hair, straight hair.

I offer tarot readings here like soulmate readings, love readings, career readings, and pendulum readings.

[darkmaga-returns]

Is this what America is going to do now when we have disasters? Bring in the bulldozers and the flame throwers? Light the trash and debris pyres, and once down to ashes, cover up and forget?

Dr. Peter and Ginger Breggin

Nov 22, 2024

“Outbreaks and natural disasters have shown that mismanagement of the dead can show distrust and undermine public health efforts to contain diseases and can also contribute to long-term trauma for survivors when the bodies of loved ones are not considered to have been treated with respect.”

Ethical and sociocultural challenges in managing dead bodies during epidemics and natural disasters

[Please click on the headline to read this complete article in Substack]

It does not take a public health study to tell us that disrespecting the remains of those lost in a storm or other disaster leads to grave distress among survivors. Respectful handling of the dead goes back into the misty records of human prehistory.

Yet, suddenly, these most fundamental, core traditions of human culture—how the dead are treated and disposed of—are being completely ignored by American federal and state agencies in southeastern Appalachia where more than 30 communities and an uncounted number of inhabitants have been wiped out by Hurricane Helene. Twenty-five North Carolina counties and the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians have been identified for Federal major disaster declaration—this approaches one third of the state of North Carolina. Tennessee, too, has been massively impacted by that storm.

FEMA Disaster Declaration of 10.15.2024

The surviving residents of Western North Carolina and volunteers are struggling to locate their missing and dead family members and neighbors, often last seen as they or their houses were swept away in a record-high tide of water or mud and debris. Since the early hours and days after Hurricane Helene hit the mountains of southern Appalachia, there have been eyewitness reports on social media of bodies hung up in trees, tangled in brush piles, buried in mountains of muck and uprooted trees, crumpled vehicles, smashed buildings and a toxic mix of chemicals, and sewage. Residents often don’t hear about toxic releases until much time has passed, leading to chemical burns, asthma and other toxic exposure-related illnesses.

Volunteer Search and Rescue teams with trained cadaver dogs are still doing body recovery; they see the desperate need. United Cajun Navy and Mercury 1 Charity are two of the organized charities doing search and rescue and air drops for those whose entire lives have literally been washed away as evidenced by 911 recordings just released on the 19th of November.

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Mars enters Retrograde Zone

Timeline (current events in bold)

Friday, October 4, 2024, 04:40 UT - transiting Mars enters pre-retrograde shadow, 17°01’ Cancer

Monday, November 4, 04:10 UT - transiting Mars enters Leo

Friday, December 6, 23:33 UT - transiting Mars stations retrograde, 6°10’ Leo

Monday, January 6, 2025, 20:45 UT - transiting Mars retrogrades back into Cancer

Monday, February 24, 02:00 UT - transiting Mars stations direct, 17°01’ Cancer

Friday, April 18, 04:22 UT - transiting Mars re-enters Leo

Friday, May 2, 2025, 06:06 UT - transiting Mars exits post-retrograde shadow, 6°10’ Leo

***+++===+++***

Mars energy is usually very straightforward to work with. Even when it’s retrograde!

Cancer isn’t Mars’ most favorite place to be. It’s in its “fall” here, opposite the sign (Capricorn) of its exaltation. A planet being in its fall is like staying in someone’s home, but you don’t know who they are, and you don’t know what their rules are. It can be useful to the planet to (have to) learn some new ways of operating.

Physical strength - this is an opportunity to see how our diet and digestion affect our health, for good or for ill. If we’re angry or stressed out about something, it can manifest as stomach problems.

Energy levels - very dependent on our mood. We can be great at psyching ourselves up, one minute, only to feel lethargic and apathetic the next.

Sexuality - cuddly! There’s so much emotional sensitivity to our partners. But again, mood is everything and subject to change.

How we go after what we want - crabwise, cautiously, ie coming at it sideways, which is extremely frustrating for full-speed-ahead Mars. A straight-on approach isn’t always going to guarantee success, though, which Mars needs to learn.

Some problems with this placement: it can anticipate defeat and loss, quitting before it even gets started. It isn’t very consistent. It’s passive-aggressive, and it can be manipulative about getting its own way; other people don’t like that. And it gets crazy sensitive about boundaries.

When Mars enters Leo on November 3/4, building up to its retrograde station in December, we’ll witness how we can’t quite get Mars/Leo right, without first getting Mars/Cancer right. (Just consider Dolt 45, whom I consider the poster boy for Mars/Leo Run Amok - the vanity, the pomposity, the insecurity!)

On the way there, we can allow for a couple of days on either side of these aspects. (Pay particular attention to those which “ding” something in your birth chart.)

Saturday, October 5 - Mars/Cancer square Mercury/Libra, 17°33’. Probably nothing too serious, provided we haven’t taken on too much. A lot of sweet-talking going on, empty nothings perhaps, ulterior motives probably.

Tuesday, October 8 - Mars/Cancer trine Venus/Scorpio, 18°38’. This is pretty sexy and fertile, so if you don’t want to become a parent in the next 9 months, take precautions. We’re very emotionally attuned and sensitive to our partners, as well as to art and beauty.

Sunday, October 13 - Monday, October 14:

Mars/Cancer square Chiron Rx/Aries, 21°15’

Mars/Cancer semi-sextile Jupiter Rx/Gemini, 21°18’

Mars/Cancer square Sun/Libra, 21°28’

First of three for the Chiron square. Becoming aware of woundedness regarding our right to be alive at all. If we have a particular role in our family (bratty little sibling, the smart one, etc.), and we aren’t like that anymore, we find some resistance when we try to move on from it.

Monday, October 21 - Mars/Cancer square Eris Rx/Aries, 24°53’. First of three. This energy is spoiling for a fight - we’re mighty pissed off about something, and yet we hesitate to (or can’t) come out swinging. Be careful, and work on your situational awareness.

Thursday, October 24 - Mars/Cancer sextile Uranus Rx/Taurus, 26°10’. First of three. Very supportive of firmly establishing our own individuality. Insight about who we’d like to be. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

Sunday, October 27 - Tuesday, October 29:

Mars/Cancer (27°24’) sesquiquad Venus/Sagittarius (12°24’)

Mars/Cancer trine Neptune/Pisces, 27°34’

Mars/Cancer (27°56’) sesquiquad Saturn Rx/Pisces (12°56’)

First of three for the Neptune trine and for the Saturn sesquiquad. With Venus involved there are undoubtedly some relationship problems - we may not see things clearly, or have a realistic grasp of the situation. Commitment-phobia masquerading as bad timing.

Saturday, November 2 - Sunday, November 3:

Mars/Cancer trine Mercury/Scorpio, 29°21’

Mars/Cancer opposite Pluto/Capricorn, 29°45’

First of three for the Pluto opposition. We become aware of some unpleasant situation, or traits in someone we meet in the world - violence, evil, darkness, tragedy - maybe that Merc/Scorpio is a little too curious and goes there? This isn’t the time to confront it, but simply to recognize problems with (in Steven Forrest’s words) “blind adherence to the past” as well as “a selfish me first attitude … insensitive to the suffering of others.” (The 2nd and 3rd oppositions happen after Pluto returns to Aquarius, which is a whole ‘nuther kettle of fish - we see exactly how the selfishness and blind adherence lead to alienation.)

———————————

Venmo Mary_Brack

PayPal MaryVBrack

Thank you!!

[beomiracles]

OMG I WASNT EVEN THINKING THREESOME BUT THATS GOOD TOO OMG

the plot of the whole fic (which i doubt ill ever post anywhere) is basically the mc and yeonjun and both single parents who had kids in their teens and didnt date or have sex w anyone after. so then they like relearn how to love and shit w each other and its cute and sappy and theyre in love and theyre REALLY horny, like the mc made it clear she wasnt ready to have sex so theres a whole dry humping scene where yeonjuns like "if i cant be inside you, gon make you cum just like this, ‘kay baby?" (and lots of other scenes as well but then they do have sex. and then they have sex a lot after that lol bc they really cant keep their hands off each other)

but then their exes try to break them up bc they realized that they want them back (basic but i needed some sort of plotline there really is none) so yeonjuns ex kisses him in public and the mcs friend just happens to be there so mc and jjun get into a fight and break up.

so then shes pissed and upset and her bdays the next day but she doesnt tell anyone why yeonjuns not there. and the first person she does tell is taehyun! bc she knows hes not gonna be judgmental and will listen to her and everything, and he responds so fast (based off gyu saying in an interview tyun texts so fast its like hes born to text) and pulls up to her apartment even faster, realizes how miserable she is "use me to get over him"-- tyun "make me forget him, please"-- mc (also tyuns younger and has called the mc noona forever so ofc it has to be put into that scene <3) so then tyun starts off so sweet, kisses so gentle w him cradling her face in his hands, and then he legit fucks her until she passes out lol

and so ive had the tyun scene planned for a while but i just expanded on the mcs relationship w gyu, where you find out that when they graduated high school, they were both in really dark places, so the mc came over to his house and they got drunk and promised to get married if they werent before 25 and fell asleep on his couch together.

so now i feel like gyu is a really safe space for the mc (they’re 22 and 21 now, respectively (i started writing this fic in november 2022 lol)) and it'd be nice if, at least, she sleeps over at his house every night bc she cant stand being in her own bed, and i feel like one night they just fuck and her reasoning is split between "if i fuck other people, yeonjun cant be the only one. he doesnt get that power" (bc he was the first person to fuck her in 6 years after she had a kid so she wants to ho around a lil) and the fact that gyu is just like a home to her, they're just making their relationship better 😭 

so ya idk if having her fuck them both is too much but i feel like its such a good opportunity ToT like gyu who fucks her so sweet and lazy and tyun who fucks the shit out of her and gives her the fuck of her life <3

spectacular give me 14 of em.

no seriously why is this not available to read anywhere ?? and like the trope is so unique I love it sm. and like I love the diversity between tyun and gyu hehehe. + miscommunication trope between mc and yeonjun goes hardddd.

PLEASE I AM ON MY KNEES FOR THIS TO BE RELEASED.

[aswegoalong72]

November 2024 Writing Update

Hello again! Thank you so much for your patience. Between my health, the election, and all kinds of other things going on in my life, I haven't really had the time to sit down and write.

Thankfully, that changed a little bit in November! I wasn't able to get as much as I had hoped done, but I made a lot of progress, and am very grateful for that.

Moving on into December, I'll be switching gears back into art for a little bit once more. I have a few projects I'd like to get done for people, but once they're done, I'll be heading back into writing then. Hopefully, this time, coming out on the other end with a finished book!

Onto business! Here are the changes made since August, 2024.

Dawn - 12% complete (28,634 words) +18,084 words since Aug., 2/7 short stories complete Yuniv & Semat - ~1% complete (0 words) Planning stage, finalizing story beats Deep Freeze - ~1% complete (0 words) Planning stage, waiting on prior books to be finished To Touch Tenav - ~1% complete (83 words) No change, partial intro only, planning stage Piercing The Veil - ~22% complete (120,531 words)/(9,149 rewrite) +539 words since Aug., on backburner while Dawn is in progress Head Above Water - ~2% complete (483 words) No change, partial intro only, planning stage Book 7* - ~1% complete (0 words) Planning stage, waiting for prior books to be finished Universal Ideal - ~1% complete (0 words) Planning stage, waiting for prior books to be finished

And there you have it! Again, wasn't able to make as much progress as I had hoped last month, but that's what comes with being chronically ill sometimes.

Looking forward to getting back into it again soon though, I've been laying a lot of groundwork for future parts of the series! It's been a lot of fun planning out story beats and the like. I've been focusing a little more on Yuniv & Semat too, since that'll be the one coming up right after Dawn.

Thanks for your time, I hope you have a lovely day! Until next year!

-GB

[theteablogger]

Can you give me a run down of Carlanime/Necromommycon's relationship with Andy?

I'm just going to call her "Carlanime" throughout because it's easier and less confusing. This is not comprehensive; it would be ridiculously long if I tried to link everything she ever said about Andy.

On February 22, 2005, Carlanime emailed Turimel about Chris/"Rennie Gade", the Marine sockpuppet that Andy had brought into the Bit of Earth Yahoo! group in 2002. She pointed out that the originating IP addresses for one of Andy's messages and one of Chris's were one digit apart, which strongly suggested that they were the same person.

Carlanime apparently continued to follow events related to Andy over the years and posted about him occasionally on her LiveJournal (LJ).

On May 21, 2011, Carlanime emailed Turimel a copy of Andy's "eulogy" to Brittany, which he had posted publicly in the DAYD Facebook group. This is how Turimel found out about Brittany's murder and Andy's plan to make the New Zealand hike in her memory.

During the spring or summer of 2011, Carlanime started working on a murder mystery novel starring a character based on Andy.

On October 14, 2011, CFC posted "The Other Side of the Wank", a 20-point defense of Andy, on her LJ. On November 9, Carlanime commented sympathetically on this post.

Also on November 9, Carlanime posted publicly on her LJ about Andy. She called Abbey a "joiner" and cast doubt on the idea that Andy (who she erroneously believed was 17 at the time he met Abbey) had deliberately started a cult. She referred to him as a "creative mentally ill kid" and suggested that he seemed like a person who wanted to help and to do the right thing, but went tragically wrong--all of which very much fit the narrative Andy has always promoted about himself.

Andy saw an opportunity in Carlanime's post and contacted her the same day under an alias (never2late2hope), asking/demanding that she call out Turimel, victim-blaming, and downplaying his abusive actions. He also contacted her under his own LJ name (thanfiction), sending her a long message about Brittany and castigating her for sharing the eulogy, which he claimed had been friends-locked. Note that he began this message by stating that he had friended her on LJ and thanking her for friending him back. Unbeknownst to Andy, Carlanime created a filter group on her LJ so that she and her other friends could talk about him without his seeing it. Finally, Andy sent Carlanime an exchange he'd supposedly been forwarded between never2late2hope (which was, of course, Andy himself) and Turimel, in which never2late2hope was trying to convince Turimel to reconcile with Andy.

CFC also contacted Carlanime on November 9, asking her to call out Turimel for victim-blaming Brittany and perpetuating facts that CFC said were false.

Carlanime replied to Andy and stated that she didn't expect them to be BFFs or necessarily to remain LJ friends after he finished reading her older, friends-locked posts about him. She disagreed that she owed Brittany an apology and shared her opinion that Andy had "an affective disorder". Andy responded to this by offering her "the full story from [his] side", making excuses for why the eulogy didn't ring true, and giving her unasked-for validation for being "a decent human being".

In her next message, Carlanime indicated that she was interested in hearing more of Andy's side of the story, apologized to him, and joked about his not exactly being a criminal mastermind. When Andy brought up "Catch Me If You Can" in his response, Carlanime said that she had "a serious Abagnale crush". Andy agreed that he was "kind of awesome in a very twisted way" and suggested that Turimel's conception of him was partly based on Abagnale.

Within a day or so of this exchange, Carlanime added Andy on Facebook. Here, she noted that he messaged her soon after to tell her how adorable her baby was, and subsequently gifted her two unasked-for drawings of her children.

In Facebook messages dated November 15, Andy joked about his "criminal mastermindedry" and asked again if she wanted more information on "the Great Saga". When she said that she did, Andy then sent her an extremely long email containing the latest version of his life story. In another message, Andy turned the entire story around on Abbey, as if she had victimized, exploited, and abused him. Carlanime let that pass without comment, asking him about commission prices instead.

On November 20, Carlanime announced that she would pay $25 per story for stories based on her character Mina de Malfois, to be printed in a zine. Andy asked if he could contribute, "or am I a bit too scandalous?" Carlanime said she would be thrilled to have a submission from him.

Earlier in November, Carlanime had been commenting on Turimel's LJ that she felt pity for Andy. Someone took exception to the way she writes about this and ended up advising her, on November 25, to be careful in her new friendship with Andy. In a filtered post on her own LJ, she did not take this well, stating that she believed that what happened between Andy and Abbey should be ascribed to mental illness and immaturity rather than malice--and that she didn't care if she was wrong.

By December 5, Andy and Carlanime were exchanging messages about the character that she had based on him. Andy had a lot of ideas for his background and the plot. On the same day, he told Carlanime, "If you don't draw the lines, I won't try to be your cult leader, but I also won't shut up for hours."

That same day, Carlanime posted that Andy had drawn the character that she'd based on him. She endorsed commissioning art from him, adding, "I didn't get indoctrinated into a cult, so you know it's safe."

Later in December, Andy sent Carlanime a Christmas care package.

On February 5, 2012, Andy informed her in a Facebook message that he had just learned that "[he was] a symptom of someone else's psychosis and everything [he] thought he knew about [him]self and [his] past…[wasn't] true."

The next relevant bit of information I have is from March 8, 2013, when Carlanime posted on Tumblr that Andy might have a different diagnosis than what she'd been told (which was "Severe Gender Disphoria [sic] leading to Dissociative Identity Disorder possibly comorbid with Borderline Personality Disorder on select aspects"). She said that she didn't care and that it didn't change her opinion of Andy in any way, adding in the tags, "Actually I think I am a sociopath so there".

On July 9, Carlanime sent Abbey an anon ask (which she later stated was from her) about Andy's dropping/ignoring a friend and claiming it was to avoid being "a danger to [him]self or others".

On July 10, Carlanime posted on Tumblr Rules for Befriending Sociopaths, in which she stated that for her, Andy was "For Entertainment Purposes Only". She added, "I am able to enjoy him so much precisely because I don’t need him for anything. It is not a good idea to let oneself need anything from sociopaths…". Carlanime wrote authoritatively on how sociopaths relate to their friends, asserting that no cruelty is intended when they ignore or neglect them.

On April 8, 2014, Abbey posted about Andy's attempting to push her into sex work and his mean-spirited, shaming comments on her body. Carlanime told Abbey that this had made her unable to find Andy amusing anymore.

On April 13, Andy texted Carlanime, asking when she stopped being his friend and just found him amusing. He claimed that Abbey had omitted important context for his comments: that she was the one who expressed interest in sex work, that he'd been supportive, and that his only remarks about her body were to contrast her favorably with "silicone size 0 spray tan barbies".

On June 1, after accusations were made that Andy had sexually assaulted a bodypaint model, Carlanime started anonymously sharing excerpts from Andy's emails and messages to her on lol_meme.

On June 3, Carlanime shared Andy's incredibly long email to her on her Tumblr. From this point on, she began regularly posting about Andy and responding to posts by Andy Awareness bloggers.

On July 8, Carlanime responded to Abbey's post about "Fish Skin Rodeo" In the tags, she said, "never have i ever been so glad to have ended a friendship".

Sometime in April 2015, Carlanime began reading "Sluagh" and live-blogging the experience on Tumblr. Among other things, she said that it felt like recruitment material and that she wanted to wash her eyes out after reading it.

On April 13, Carlanime began sharing Andy's messages and emails to her on tf-talk and posting about them on her Tumblr.

On April 16, Carlanime commented anonymously on tf-talk that from the ages of nine through eleven, she had engaged in fake channeling behavior similar to what Andy did, creating "an elaborate fantasy world inhabited with fictional and historical figures who were 'in contact' with us". She said that the last time she remembered engaging in that type of behavior was at sixteen. (On July 24, 2018, she admitted that this was her.)

At some point after this, she deleted her Tumblr, saying that she felt it was time for her to leave Andy alone. In the summer of 2018, she created a new Tumblr and told an anon that this was because she was enraged that the lie that Andy had been underage when he and Abbey met was circulating again.

From June 25-July 28, 2018, Carlanime spent a month responding to the FAQ page that some of Andy's friends had created, calling out Andy's friend Chris for denying that Andy was a rapist, and posting more about Andy's harmful actions.

On July 7, she posted, on Andy's behalf, an apology to the people he'd wronged in Los Angeles that summer. She later indicated that she and Andy were still in contact, that she recognized that he'd been cruel, and that she believed there was a possibility he could be cruel and hurt people again.

On July 19, on her Thanfictioning Tumblr, Carlanime posted about how she first made contact with Andy: by catfishing him, basically. It is unclear exactly when this happened. She made flippant reference to “the internet diagnosis of sociopathic serial rapist”.

On July 23, Carlanime denied being an Andy Awareness blogger, though she said she supported the existence of those blogs, and admitted that the "Fish Skin Rodeo" story had not made her dislike Andy.

On October 26, on Thanfictioning, Carlanime said that she didn't believe that Andy was dangerous or was ever a cult leader, and that he didn’t do anything that much different from other people in dysfunctional relationships.

On November 4, on Thanfictioning, Carlanime said that she didn't believe that Andy was a rapist and attempted to discredit Diamond's story.

Later that day, Thanfictioning's identity was revealed. (Here are all of my posts on Thanfictioning.)

Carlanime posted on her regular Tumblr a few times in July 2019, mainly to bait and mock me, and to reiterate that none of the beliefs she'd expressed as Thanfictioning had changed. In the tags on that last post, she wrote, "it's ridiculous to feel surprised or betrayed".

[metalsongoftheday]

Friday, November 22: Bruce Dickinson, "Innerspace"

No line summed up Bruce Dickinson’s headspace (and his whole life) in the ‘90s better than “nothing lasts forever but the certainty of change”, and that lyric served as the culminating moment on both “Innerspace” and Skunkworks as a whole.  The ill-fated Skunkworks project was immediately pegged as something it wasn’t actually trying to be, and the bad taste that lingered for decades mostly came from reactionary die hards, because an open-minded listen would uncover a dynamic, charging, hooky and thoughtful heavy rock record that didn’t sound like Iron Maiden because that wasn’t the point.  “Innerspace” was actually one of the less immediate tracks on the album, though it was firmly embedded in the setlist at the time: the tune was something of a deep cut next to the surging “Back from the Edge” or “Solar Confinement”, but in its sideways arrangement and searching lyric the song tied everything together.  In its way, the track encapsulated Dickinson’s experiences and worldview as well as if not better than something more overt like “Tears of the Dragon”, and likewise summed up the promise and potential that made Skunkworks an interesting and underrated highlight in his solo discography.

[weirdestbooks]

Secrecy and Deception Chapter 22

Rebellions and Crises (Wattpad | Ao3)

Table of Contents | Prev | Next

Event: Arms Agreement Between the USSR and Afghanistan

Location: Kabul, Kingdom of Afghanistan

Date: September 1, 1956

Afghanistan was excited about the new arms agreement. He knew that it would be important, with the ongoing issue of Pashtunistan. The United States was allied with Pakistan, and Afghanistan’s army had not been upgraded since the Second World War.

Having this arms agreement and, in turn, good relations with the USSR was very important to him. Afghanistan did not want to be overrun by Pakistan and the United States, and these days, it felt as if the USSR was the only person who could stand up to the USSR and not face the risk of the United States messing with things.

This alliance would be important. 

Afghanistan wished he could thank USSR in person, but the larger country was busy, and his Russian wasn’t the best.

But now he had an ally against the United States and a chance to modernize his army.

Afghanistan felt as if a huge weight had been taken off his back. 

In a way, there was.

• ───────────────── •

Event: Hungarian Revolution 

Location: Tököl, near Budapest, Hungarian People's Republic 

Date: 10 pm, November 3, 1956

Hungary had never been more excited in his life. Things were finally turning around. He had declared himself neutral and withdrawn from the Warsaw Pact Organization that the USSR had forced him into. He had contacted the UN and asked for help in protecting his new neutrality, and now the Soviet troops would be leaving his country.

Even with the rumors of a Soviet invasion and the fears that he might not shake off the hand of the man whose thumb he had been under for years now, Hungary couldn’t help but be strangely giddy with excitement.

He was going to have his mind fully restored to him, no longer feeling the weight of the USSR press down on it, the exhaustion and fear that came from it. 

It was what he and his friends had fought for in the past week, what Hungary had yearned for so long.

He couldn’t believe it was so close. He had never felt more alive than he did now. When he heard about the Hungarian delegation that was invited to the Soviet Military Command in Tököl, he begged to be a part of the delegation, to be there and negotiate the removal of the Soviet parasite from his country.

His friends had been excited to hear the news, especially Attila, who was so passionate about fighting the USSR and making Hungary a better place for his people. Hungary knew he would never be able to thank them enough for what they had done for him.

So Hungary, for the first time in a long time, dressed himself as he wanted and slipped his knife into his sheath on his leg.

Paranoia had kept him alive, and he knew he couldn’t be too careful. He didn’t think he would need it, but Hungary had been betrayed too many times not to carry a weapon with him.

He could taste freedom on his tongue. He didn’t want to lose it, not when it was so close, not when it was just in his grasp.

Just in case. It was just in case.

When Hungary arrived at the Soviet Military Command, he was greeted by the site of the Russian SFSR.

“Russia,” Hungary said, surprised, “I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

“My son wanted someone here for this. Unfortunately, he decided that someone had to be me, and not any of the dozens of oblasts that could have easily been sent in my place,” Russian SFSR said, sounding very annoyed with the USSR. Hungary could relate to that feeling of annoyance.

“Well, it looks like an agreement will be reached soon, and then we can both go home and be done with this all,” Hungary said. Russian SFSR huffed out a small laugh.

“Very true. Now come. We have prepared a banquet in honor of you and your delegates as a way to show that no ill will shall be harbored between our countries and that we will respect your neutrality,” Russian SFSR said, turning into the room. Hungary blinked at first, surprised. 

A banquet? For him and his delegation? Something about it felt off because Hungary didn’t think that USSR or Russian SFSR would ever do anything like that for him. Both of them liked their power and clinging to it.

Then again, this was probably something that had been planned more by the Soviet officer and not Russian SFSR or USSR themselves.

Still, the nervousness didn’t leave until the first hour and a half had passed. As the night slowly crept to midnight and nothing happened, Hungary felt the tension leave him. This was just a banquet to celebrate that an agreement was near, that they were almost done.

It was fine.

Slowly, a small smile crept onto his face as everything suddenly felt more real.

It was so close.

So, with his anxiety gone, Hungary began to enjoy himself, taking great pleasure in how annoyed Russian SFSR looked, only confirming Hungary’s thoughts that the man was not involved in this.

Hungary was happy. It was a feeling that had been quite foreign to him, and it was something he had experienced little in his life. It was nice to relax and feel happy. The emotions were overwhelming, but they were good.

Then, at midnight, the party was interrupted when a man entered the room, flanked by men wearing a uniform Hungary recognized as belonging to the NKVD. Hungary’s blood ran cold, and a pit dropped in his stomach. 

The feeling and the anxiety that followed came on so quickly that Hungary felt as if he might be sick. His hand slid down to his side, where the knife was hidden. Hungary swallowed down his nerves and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the man who had entered the room.

“Arrest them,” he said. The NKVD officers went to do just that, and Hungary was quick to pull the knife from his sheath and lash out at Russian SFSR, who had approached him from the side.

The knife cut a gash across his nose, and as Russian SFSR raised a hand to the cut, Hungary lashed out again, hitting his hand and throwing his full weight behind the blow as the knife cut through flesh and bone, severing Russian SFSR’s first finger and nearly cutting through the second. 

Satisfaction welling up through him, Hungary began to yell.

“I AM HUNGARY! I AM HUNGARY, AND I AM MY OWN PERSON AND COUNTRY, AND YOU CAN’T TAKE THAT FROM ME!” 

Tears were welling up in his eyes, and he swung at Russian SFSR again before being restrained. Still, Hungary fought with everything he had.

This wasn’t fair! He was so close! He was neutral! He had left the Warsaw Pact! He was going to be free! He was going to be like Yugoslavia! Why couldn’t he have that?

It wasn’t fair!

Something heavy slammed into the back of Hungary’s head, and he groaned, slumping slightly but refusing to give up his fight. Then, another blow landed on the back of his head, and everyone went dark. 

• ──────────��────── •

Event: Suez Crisis 

Location: Cairo, Arab Republic of Egypt

Date: October 29, 1956

“We should have known that Israel would get involved in this. She’s too aggressive not to,” Palestine stated as she and Egypt heard the news of Israel’s invasion of the Sinai Peninsula earlier that day. Egypt sighed.

“I suppose she is hoping that this will force me to reopen the Straits of Tiran and Gulf of Aqaba and allow her access to the canal,” Egypt commented, worry rolling in her stomach.

“And assumes that Britain, France, and the United States will help her,” Palestine said, “I don’t like how close she’s gotten to the canal.”

“You choose a perfect time to visit,” Egypt tried to joke. Palestine looked unamused, and the younger country smiled sheepishly. “Better to think positive than about how things can go wrong. If all three of them really do side with Israel, then I imagine that the USSR will side with us.”

“I hope so. After what happened to Iran when he tried to nationalize his oil fields…I hope that you don’t get put under their control. You and your president are my biggest hope to having control over my land and life again and putting an end to what Israel is doing to my people,” Palestine said, the ever-present worry in her eyes deepening. 

“I won’t let them put me back under my control. I am an independent country, and whether they like it or not, I will act like one. The Suez Canal is in my country, and therefore, it is my duty to control it, not two empires who have sworn that they don’t want to be empires anymore,” Egypt snapped, words flying out of her in a rush.

“I hope you’re right. It’s hard not to be worried when there is almost a guarantee that someone will try to hurt you for not behaving like they want you to,” Palestine said. Egypt frowned. She indeed was worried about this and the risk of war that it was creating, but at the same time…she didn’t want to think that a war would come. 

It wasn’t just that people were more dedicated to peace with the creation of the United Nations, but that it would be a war fought over the Suez Canal. A war could disrupt shipping or destroy the canal.

“At the end of the day, no one is going to risk being the one to destroy the Suez Canal,” Egypt said, her voice more confident than she felt. “There will be a diplomatic end to this.”

There had to be.

Are you interested in learning more about what happened to Hungary after being captured? Well on Sunday, two days from now, I will be posting a oneshot on exactly that. The chapter was going to run too long if I added it, and I really wanted to tell the story I had for Hungary.

[tomorrowusa]

Florida's radical Republican 6-week ban on abortion takes effect today. BUT it could be overturned if an amendment to the Florida constitution gets 60% of the vote in the November election.

In spring 2022, just months before the US Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, Republicans in Florida passed a law banning abortion after 15 weeks of pregnancy, down from the previous legal threshold of 24 weeks. It took effect that summer, but advocates for reproductive rights challenged it in state court as unconstitutional. One year later, Republicans in Florida took even more aggressive action against reproductive freedom: Gov. Ron DeSantis signed a new bill to restrict abortion at six weeks of pregnancy. But the fate of that law rested on what the court would decide about the 15-week ban. If it decided that ban was legal, the six-week ban would be, too. In early April, nearly two years after challengers first filed their lawsuit, the Florida Supreme Court finally issued its ruling: The 15-week ban is constitutional under state law, and therefore the six-week ban would take effect 30 days later, on May 1. In practical terms, six weeks is a total ban. Many people do not even know they’re pregnant by then. Even if they are aware, Florida requires patients seeking abortions to complete two in-person doctor visits with a 24-hour waiting period in between, a challenging logistical burden to meet before 15 weeks and a nearly impossible one before six.

Ron DeSantis got the 6-week ban passed to try to impress the anti-abortion fundamentalist extremists ahead of his ill-fated run for the GOP presidential nomination.

The DeSantis ban goes even further than those in red states with similar bans.

Florida’s law not only bans abortion after six weeks but also bans abortion by telemedicine and requires any medication abortion to be dispensed in person, which effectively outlaws mail orders of the pills. (Researchers have affirmed there is no medical need for abortion pills to be administered in the physical presence of a health care provider.) At the time it was passed, no other statehad a six-week ban with a requirement for two in-person doctor visits and no option for telehealth. While the law includes exceptions for rape and incest, it requires anyone claiming those exceptions to provide a copy of a police report, medical record, or court order — even though victims often do not involve law enforcement. The executive director of the Florida Council Against Sexual Violence has called these exceptions “meaningless” and “harmful.”

While it won't be easy, the amendment overturning the DeSantis ban does have a fair chance.

One glimmer of hope for people in Florida and the entire South is a second ruling the Florida Supreme Court issued in early April: A ballot measure to protect abortion access in the state can move forward. The measure, which would require support from at least 60 percent of Florida voters to pass, would amend Florida’s constitution to protect abortion rights up to the point of fetal viability, or typically between 22 and 24 weeks of a pregnancy. Voters will have the opportunity to weigh in on this question in November. Past polling indicates extreme abortion restrictions are not supported by the Florida public. In one survey conducted by Florida Atlantic University, 67 percent of Floridians said abortion should be legal in all or most cases, while just 12 percent supported a total ban. Another survey from 2023, led by the Public Religion Research Institute, found 64 percent of Americans backed abortion in all or most cases.

If you're in Florida, NOW is the time to start working to pass Amendment 4.

Grassroots neighborhood political organizing fell out of fashion with the rise of social media and took another hit during the pandemic emergency. But you will have more political impact on somebody with an in person friendly conversation than giving somebody a like on Facebook.

Vote YES on Amendment 4 for abortion access in Florida! - Floridians Protecting Freedom

Use the internet to get information out but use yourself to get people to the polls.

Republicans worked 49 years to overturn Roe v. Wade. We can reverse them in a fraction of the time if we start immediately and are persistent.

Nationally, remember that only the Democratic Party is committed to reproductive freedom. As we've seen in Arizona, the GOP would like to turn the clock back to 1864.

Keep Trump and DeSantis out of your bedroom and doctor's office.

[quill-of-thoth]

Letters from Watson, catching up

Study In Scarlet part 1: 1880 I’ve been neglecting my correspondence (emails) and decided to start my Holmes reread today, with some good old fashioned deductive speculation and some context, in case anyone else is also reading along a month late. Please bear with me as I neglect to commit to either a Watsonian (these are real people who we can learn biographical data about) or a Doylist (remember this is just a book and we should just relax) point of view. If your mental image of Holmes and Watson are either Robert Downey Junior and Jude law, or Jeremy Brett and David Burke, you will probably be surprised at how young these two probably are.

Preliminary evidence: Our Friends’ ages

- Watson was wounded at the battle of Maiwand, fought July 27 1880, ill for months, plural, and the journey back to england took a month. At the very earliest he started looking for lodgings in November 1880 - He would have been at medical school for at least two, probably three years before finishing in 1878. It is unlikely, though not impossible, that he would have started his course of study significantly before reaching his twenties. For historical comparison, Dr. James Barry, also an army surgeon with a degree from a British medical school, started his course of study at the age of approximately twenty, and became an army surgeon at about 23. (Although Dr. Barry died in 1865 it’s unlikely that there would be a huge difference in how long their courses of study took.) People seem to have gone directly to medical school instead of doing other university courses first.  - While he could be older, could be slightly younger. Watson is probably around twenty five. - Holmes is still taking university courses, erratically, and although we don’t get any timeline of his studies, he’s probably not older than Stamford, who was a surgeon’s assistant when Watson worked with him at St. Bartholemew’s Hospital, and presumably still works there given how much he knows about Holmes’ use of the chemical labs. “Young” Stamford is likely a few years younger than Watson.  - Like Watson Holmes probably started his studies in his very late teens or early twenties. The age of getting a degree could and did vary during the 1800s from our current conception of who’s the right age to be in college (with people somewhat more likely to be sent off to secondary education slightly younger than seventeen or eighteen than they are now, and also plenty of instances of people starting college later than we usually expect from someone who is headed directly there after their childhood studies and before their first adult career) but the important thing here is that Holmes appears to be in charge of his own finances, and the age of majority for Victorian men was 21.  - Holmes has pretty much got to be somewhere between 20 and 25. My money is on him being 22-23 (because he does already have a reputation, as we shall see, he has completed at least a year of study during the time he was friends with Victor Trevor, and because he appears to complete, or give up, his coursework between the end of Study in Scarlet and any other case Watson witnesses) and on Watson being 24-26. - For context, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote this story at age 27 in 1886. It’s not unreasonable to assume that, despite timeline weirdness (He was born in 1859, as Holmes might have been, but he will obviously always set his writing in the past), Holmes and Watson are going to age more or less with him.  - I have only vague memories of the Baring-Gould chronology for this series but I think it agrees with me in that regard. Baring-Gould thinks Holmes is about two or three years older than I think Holmes is, though. 

Conclusion: My sympathies to Mrs. Hudson, these boys are going to be the death of a decent amount of your furniture. 

[the-banana-0verlord]

Answer some or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

Alright, ill try lmao

1.no, i dont have freckles!

2. I WISHED i found Coffee and tea good because its so aesthetic but it tastes bad imo

3. I checked my spotify and its girls just wanna have fun by cyndi lauper so i suppose its that

4.i move a lot but i usually end up on my side.

5. I move too much to sleep with a lot of them because they always end up on the floor. Although i do sleep with my malleus plushie.

6. Thats a hard one, because i do both. Though i think of writing as my primary hobby/eventual job, i definitely have more fun drawing(until art Block comes knocking that is)

7.depends on the thickness. Right now i have three eith two being thin and one being medium, but i could sleep with one really thick one.

8. Mitski!!! I love her so much. Otherwise I like mother mother and marina

9.the third of november!

10. 154 cm or 5 feet. No that is not short

11. Blue-grey-kaki. I like to think of them as blue.

12. All my mutuals, all my irls, my mom, my dad, and my little sister

13. Abandonnent, failure, the future in general.

14. Yellow and light blue!

15.fall! Its so pretty

16. Im not sure yet but i can maybe have someday a small tattoo. Im not a fan of qhoel body tattoos for myself.

17. Well my ears a pierced but im not gonna get more.

18. My two irls! Talking about not getting neuvillette in gneshin ;-;(and murder)

19. I dont have a best friend per se, although i do have a closest friend. Weve been friends for at least three years(already? Damn)

20. Honestly i miss my first mutual on here. I hope they come back soon ;-;

21. It just started but its been pretty good up til now!

22. About 9-10 hours?

23. I mean, there is bound to be other forms of life in space, just thousands of lightyears away.

24. Monday cause my friend said she didnt think we were friends.

25. Id say 1890 to 1900? Though the living conditions were meh i like the aesthetic

26. Generally being silly ig? I suppose i act childihs as a comic relief.

27. Currently my favorite book(s) is the Truly Devious series by Maureen Johnson! It's been clawing it's way into my brain.

28. I'm actually doing quite fine. I'm a bit stressed since i'm going to boston soon but i can push out the bad thoughts!

29. I usually procrastinate decisions as far as possible. If it's a small one maybe like 2 minutes but if it's bigger ones it'll take longer(with the answer being no a lot)

30. Something i'm dreading but also am excited for is summer! Bye school but hello summer job ;-;

31. My irls and i(can i really call them irls? i met only two of them irl and once or twice. anyways-) are planning a roadtrip after we're all 18(aka in a bit more than 4 years)!

32. Either my friend's (irls+ moots) houses or in paris. I've always wanted to see paris.

33.open, my cats need to be free to walk in and out!

34. sunflowers and roses(i have a list on the meaning of each rose color) daisies are also cute.

35. i...guess? i own a banana shaped stress ball(that is very dirty i dont use it much) but idk if it counts as a squish.

36. yes, almost more than my first name. although my first and second name are kinda in the same name. it's like first name-second name.

37.cats!!! I have two(named chicken nugget and nebraska)(my family also owns dogs but oh well)

38. I'm a bit scared of heights but i wouldn't say i have a phobia

39. i usually go to sleep at 10:30 pm on weekdays, and 11:00-11:00 on weekends(when i don't have to wake up early due to sunday class)

40.Although i haven't been to a real beach a lot, i like it! And i always prefer sunny days so sun it is(to experience sunset on a beach... must be the dream)

41. I'd say the owl house! It's so colorful with two of my main kins.

42. @xen-blank @thehollowwriter @quartztwst @boopshoops @saionjeans (so sorry for the tag non-moots! Also i would've included all my moots but it said five ;-;)

43. Yes, i have five siblings! One oldest sister, two older brother, a little brother and the baby of the family, my little sister. i have middle child syndrome.

44. Either my mom or my little sister. I hug and say i love you to them very often. Or i said it to malleus last. One of them.

45. Tbh i have no idea in which circomstances i would die for something. maybe if i could trade my life with someone's close to me. or for peace on earth idk.

46. a big ol hug from my malleus plushie. it's a real emotional support.

47. no i have not. or maybe i did. i will probably forget it soon.

48. my two parents absolutely.

49."I wish to expérience it someday" (speaking of old lady gossip)

50. can i send you the same questions? :3

[richmond-rex]

Could you please tell more about why Elizabeth went to the Tower of London in 1503 but unexpectedly gave birth to her child? And why did Henry VII go to the Tower at that time? Thank you very much!

Hi! We don't exactly know why went to the Tower in February 1503, but presumably they were there to commemorate the feast of Candlemas, the day of the Virgin Mary's purification after the birth of Jesus Christ (a ritual which medieval women replicated in their own personal churchings). It was an important holyday in the Christian liturgical year and as such the king and queen would publicly attend mass along with the rest of the court. It was a day of special solemnity because Candlemas was considered a 'major double feast' and a 'day of estate', meaning that during the ceremony the king would wear 'his sircot, his kirtille and his … ermyne' and was to have on his head 'a hat of estate and his swerd before hym'. At the beginning of the mass a courtier would carry a candle (taper) before the king and queen which would be deposited at the altar. In the evening a 'void' occurred where nobles gathered in the great chamber to take refreshments with the king (and presumably the same happened in the queen's chambers).

Although Henry and Elizabeth were not frequent residents of the Tower in the first fifteen years of his reign, they used the place for ceremonial occasions such as coronations (1485 & 1487), diplomatic visits (1496 & 1501), openings of parliament (1497), St George's feast day (1500) and tournaments (1500). Henry ordered a new tower to be built there in 1501-1502 which might indicate a growing interest in expanding their use of the Tower. Accordingly, we see Henry and Elizabeth residing there from about 13 December until 22 December 1502. At some point they left the Tower to spend Christmas at Richmond where Henry paid for Elizabeth's furs. On January 26 Elizabeth went back from Richmond to London but I don't know exactly where she stayed from 26 January to 1 February. Her expenses suggest that first she went to Westminster and then to the Tower. All we know is that she was at the Tower on the 2nd of February (Candlemas) according to two contemporary sources:

Upon Candlemas Day in the night following the day, the King and the Queen then being lodged in the Tower of London, the Queen that night was delivered of a daughter, where she intended to have been delivered at Richmond. (Vitellius A XVI manuscript)

Candlemas Day in the night, the King and Queen being then at the Tower, the Queen travailed of child suddenly and was delivered of a daughter, the which was christened in the parish church of the said Tower & named Katherine. (The Great Chronicle of London)

Besides those two reports, that Henry was also at the Tower on that day is suggested by his offering at All Hallows Barking, a church located next to the Tower. My opinion is that they meant to spend Candlemas there but not to stay too long: the chroniclers as well as Elizabeth's payments suggest not only that she had a premature birth ('travailed of child suddenly') but that her confinement had been prepared at Richmond, so I doubt Elizabeth travelled to the Tower to have her child there. Another indication is that Henry usually lodged in the same residence Elizabeth had her deliveries and his household stuff only arrived at the Tower on 3 February, the day after her delivery. He stayed there until Elizabeth passed away by which point he departed to Richmond to ‘pass his sorrows’.

[He] took with him certain of his secretest, and privately departed to a solitary place to pass his sorrows and would no man should resort to him but such his Grace appointed.

We know Elizabeth had been ill at several moments during her last pregnancy. On 18 September 1502 she authorised payment of an apothecary’s bill and on the following days Henry sent for her surgeon. In November she had been visited by two nurses: Mistress Harcourt at Westminster on the 14th and 'a French woman' at Baynard’s Castle on the 26th. In January, Henry rewarded and sent for her surgeon once more on the 20th when he was at Richmond (and according to her expenses, Elizabeth was there too). Henry would send for a physician for Elizabeth for the last time on the first days of February but the doctor arrived too late.

I wonder if the ceremonies involved with a 'day of estate' such as Candlemas proved too tiresome for Elizabeth? It might have seemed symbolic for those around Elizabeth to see the queen going into labour on Candlemas, the day of the purification of the Virgin. If they interpreted that as the sign of a blessing, her passing a few days afterwards (on her own birthday no less) might have changed their opinion.

That's all I have but I hope my answer was helpful to you! 🌹x

[contentment-of-cats]

On bed rotting, a day of rest, and an anniversary.

I can't remember the last time I voluntarily spent the day in bed. My grandmother, born in 1906 spoke of 'taking to bed' - something the energetic but sickly child I was could not understand unless one was ill. As I grew older, weekends became productive time - to study, do homework, write papers, maintain my living space, run errands. The cup of life ran over and drowned the calendar. No rest, or precious little of it even as my body began to fail under a diagnosis of fibromyalgia in 2007. I'd had viral meningitis in 2004, and my immune system never turned off.

Then there came the time when all I could do was rest, but it was miserable instead of restorative. Sickness, growing debility that I tried to deny and rationalize and bring to a doctor. Then hospitalization, tests and scans, diagnosis, preparation, and Stage 4a aggressive treatment. I came home and would sleep until I had to wake up and take Zofran, or in the really bad cases Ativan, or Clonazipine in order not to vomit myself into dehydration. After surgery, nothing but bed. Unable to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk from November to April.

Today is second Monday in November, the anniversary of my big surgery, the removal of six feet of colon and intestines followed by a resection that literally gave me a new asshole. They removed my uterus and ovaries where the cancer had begun to spread. They re-sectioned my left ureter and bladder because the cancer was spreading there, too. They placed a uretal stent while I healed. I had an ileostomy done so my stitched-together innards could close. Finally, they removed 22 lymph nodes of which seven were found to be precancerous or cancerous. They say you forget the pain, and to an extent that is true. You forget the physical sensation, but you never forget waking up screaming, passing out, waking up again, and begging to die.

I know what a ten on the pain scale is like now. It's been revised up and up. Just when I thought I knew ten, I found out differently. My torso is marked by scars that look as if they were drawn in black Sharpie. I'm in remission, and far from wanting to be the busy, productive person I used to be, I find that I don't want to be anything. With my mother's death in the spring, the burden of daughterhood to a cluster b disordered woman, of shepherding her through dementia as I shepherded myself through cancer was lifted. I grieved the mother I wished for and she could sometimes be, but I was relieved that this stranger who came to wear my mother's body was finally gone. She could rest, and now so can I now that her energy has returned to the universe.

I am still working, but I am selfish now. My weekends are just for me. Despite being in remission, I don't know how many more I will have. That makes them precious. I cook, make jewelry, and 'watch telly' as Gran used to say. It was while I was rotting in bed on Sunday - my pre-Recession habit revived - that I came upon this interview in the Washington Post. Susan Gubar was a formative writer of my teen years, a time when the ERA failed because the male-dominated worldview (with a pushback spearheaded by 'traditional' women) didn't think we needed more rights than we already had, if anything they thought we had too many.

The Madwoman in the Attic, For Adult Users Only: The Dilemma of Violent Pornography, No Man's Land: The Place of the Woman Writer in the Twentieth Century : The War of the Words all ended up in my mother's shelves - she laid claim to my library when I moved out. With her death, I now get them back, plus more. My ten boxes of books donated in the first spate of Swedish Death Cleaning are nothing compared to my mother's hoard of books over her 80+ years of life. On top of that there are the books that she borrowed from me, that somehow also became hers.

Susan Gubar is a cancer patient in remission, and I have downloaded her two books on cancer and survivorship. Memoir of a Debulked Woman: Enduring Ovarian Cancer, and Reading and Writing Cancer: How Words Heal. I plan to rot in bed this pre-Thanksgiving weekend, and read. Also of note, her recent book Still Mad: American Women Writers and the Feminist Imagination. I'm delighted to find her all over again, a writer whose 1979 work spoke to me as much as Virginia Woolf's 'A Room of One's Own.'

Hey. Mom had my copy of that, too, dangit.

Perhaps I can get my library back. A snapshot of myself circa 1991. I know she borrowed my Bell Hooks and Audre Lorde. Angela Davis was someone Mom knew somehow and bought her books on principle. I read a lot of Second and Third Wave feminism, queer theory, psychology, sci-fi, fantasy, and comic books. My first copy of 'Our Bodies: Ourselves' - Mom had to buy that one for me, the bookstore owner refused to sell it to me despite my being female I was not a woman. My old D&D guides.

Perhaps my remission Sundays need to be spent rotting in bed, rediscovering the voracious reader I was all those years, before the busy-ness of life nibbled my time away.

It's a resolution, voted, and carried.

[constellationdewdrops]

i must have mental illness a lot of motivation so i alphabatized + timeline'd a list of albums from @happybirthdayxalbum (one of my gimmicks) under the cut (1995-2024)

timeline:

1995-99 life - the cardigans (march 1 1995) first band on the moon - the cardigans (january 1 1996) hellbilly deluxe - rob zombie (january 1 1998) le tigre - le tigre (january 11 1999) 2005 demon days - gorillaz (may 11 2005) 2005 whatever people say i am, that’s what i’m not - arctic monkeys (jan 23 2006) 2011 my back is killing me baby - car seat headrest (march 26 2011) i hate jazz - mike krol (may 10 2011) camp - childish gambino (november 15 2011) 2012 living while starving (november 22 2012) hawaii: part ii - miracle musical (december 12 2012) 2013 and the ringmaster is pleased to introduce… - a verbal equinox (jan 19 2013) finite form - jack stauber (march 18 2013) monomania - car seat headrest (august 1 2013) nervous young man - car seat headrest (august 23 2013) am - arctic monkeys (september 9 2013) 2014 how to leave town - car seat headrest (october 31 2014) 2015 life rips - mommy long legs (march 13 2015) everything is a lot - will wood and the tapeworms (may 20 2015) gawk - vundabar (july 24 2015) punk rocks for kids who can’t skate - destructo disk (aug 1 2015) self-ish - will wood and the tapeworms (august 23 2015) teens of style - car seat headrest (october 30 2015) 2016 who really cares - tv girl (feb 25 2016) spirit phone - lemon demon (feb 29 2016) Teens of denial - car seat headrest (may 20 2016) “awake, my love!” - childish gambino (december 2 2016) 2017 maggot - dazey and the scouts (april 13 2017) 2018 twin fantasy ftf - car seat headrest (feb 16 2018) peace and quiet - awfultune (april 2 2018) volume 1 - amigo the devil (may 4 2018) puppy luv - awfultune (june 3 2018) try your best - mommy long legs (june 22 2018) the great tale of how i ruined it all - jhariah (august 10 2018) make room - destroy boys (october 19 2018) obnoxious liberal: the musical - rio romeo (november 25 2018) 2019 micheal - awfultune (january 19 2019) i want to be normal - awfultune (feb 28 2019) recently - liana flores (april 10 2019) 21 - awfultune (july 2 2019) the fall of hobo johnson - hobo johnson (september 13 2019) unreleased demos - awfultune (december 17 2019) 2020 splittsville - teddy hyde (january 4 2020) kid krow - conan gray (march 20 2020) 3.15.20 by childish gambino (march 20 2020) making a door less open - car seat headrest (may 1 2020) the normal album - will wood (july 10 2020) layla - awfultune (july 28 2020) punch me! this is a nightmare! - yasmin nur (september 19 2020) party favors - sir chloe (october 23 2020) dear sarah - awfultune (december 2 2020) 2021 ok orchestra - ajr (march 26 2021) juno goes to the big house - sorry mom (april 20 2021) middle of a stage - kevinkempt (july 9 2021) a beginner’s guide to faking your death - jhariah (july 23 2021) loudmouth - vial (july 30 2021) fuck these fuckin facists - the muslims (september 24 2021) thinking about bugs - criKet (november 12 2021) 2022 eden - awfultune (april 29 2022) two fictitious stories (alongside mine) - kevinkempt (july 8 2022) “in case i make it,” - will wood (july 29 2022) honeybee table at the butterfly feast - teen suicide (august 26 2022) suckerpunch - chloe moriondo (october 7 2022) 2023 in case i die - will wood (january 13 2023) babyface - sorry mom (may 12 2023) grapes upon the vine - tv girl (june 30 2023) You are who you hang out with - the front bottoms (august 4 2023) mono - k. flay (september 15 2023) good god! - rio romeo (september 23 2023) girl’s night - penelope scott (november 3 2023) can i have your attention? - kevinkempt (november 10 2023) 2024 someone to forget - kevinkempt (april 3 2024) trust ceremony - jhariah (april 19 2024)

alphabatized:

A

and the ringmaster is pleased to introduce… - a verbal equinox (jan 19 2013)

a beginner’s guide to faking your death - jhariah (july 23 2021)

am - arctic monkeys (september 9 2013)

“awake, my love!” - childish gambino (december 2 2016)

B

babyface - sorry mom (may 12 2023)

C

can i have your attention? - kevinkempt (november 10 2023)

camp - childish gambino (november 15 2011)

D

demon days - gorillaz (may 11 2005)

dear sarah - awfultune (december 2 2020)

E

everything is a lot - will wood and the tapeworms (may 20 2015)

eden - awfultune (april 29 2022)

F

finite form - jack stauber (march 18 2013)

fuck these fuckin facists - the muslims (september 24 2021)

first band on the moon - the cardigans (january 1 1996)

G

grapes upon the vine - tv girl (june 30 2023)

gawk - vundabar (july 24 2015)

good god! - rio romeo (september 23 2023)

girl’s night - penelope scott (november 3 2023)

H

honeybee table at the butterfly feast - teen suicide (august 26 2022)

how to leave town - car seat headrest (october 31 2014)

hawaii: part ii - miracle musical (december 12 2012)

hellbilly deluxe - rob zombie (january 1 1998)

I

i hate jazz - mike krol (may 10 2011)

“in case i make it,” - will wood (july 29 2022)

in case i die - will wood (january 13 2023)

i want to be normal - awfultune (feb 28 2019)

J

juno goes to the big house - sorry mom (april 20 2021)

K

kid krow - conan gray (march 20 2020)

L

life rips - mommy long legs (march 13 2015)

life - the cardigans (march 1 1995)

layla - awfultune (july 28 2020)

loudmouth - vial (july 30 2021)

living while starving (november 22 2012)

le tigre - le tigre (january 11 1999)

M

making a door less open - car seat headrest (may 1 2020)

maggot - dazey and the scouts (april 13 2017)

my back is killing me baby - car seat headrest (march 26 2011)

middle of a stage - kevinkempt (july 9 2021)

monomania - car seat headrest (august 1 2013)

mono - k. flay (september 15 2023)

make room - destroy boys (october 19 2018)

micheal - awfultune (january 19 2019)

N

nervous young man - car seat headrest (august 23 2013)

O

ok orchestra - ajr (march 26 2021)

obnoxious liberal: the musical - rio romeo (november 25 2018)

P

puppy luv - awfultune (june 3 2018)

peace and quiet - awfultune (april 2 2018)

punk rocks for kids who can’t skate - destructo disk (aug 1 2015)

punch me! this is a nightmare! - yasmin nur (september 19 2020)

party favors - sir chloe (october 23 2020)

R

recently - liana flores (april 10 2019)

S

spirit phone - lemon demon (feb 29 2016)

self-ish - will wood and the tapeworms (august 23 2015)

suckerpunch - chloe moriondo (october 7 2022)

splittsville - teddy hyde (january 4 2020)

someone to forget - kevinkempt (april 3 2024)

T

Teens of denial - car seat headrest (may 20 2016)

twin fantasy ftf - car seat headrest (feb 16 2018)

try your best - mommy long legs (june 22 2018)

two fictitious stories (alongside mine) - kevinkempt (july 8 2022)

the normal album - will wood (july 10 2020)

the great tale of how i ruined it all - jhariah (august 10 2018)

the fall of hobo johnson - hobo johnson (september 13 2019)

teens of style - car seat headrest (october 30 2015)

thinking about bugs - criKet (november 12 2021)

trust ceremony - jhariah (april 19 2024)

U

unreleased demos - awfultune (december 17 2019)

V

volume 1 - amigo the devil (may 4 2018)

W

who really cares - tv girl (feb 25 2016)

whatever people say i am, that’s what i’m not - arctic monkeys (jan 23 2006)

Y

You are who you hang out with - the front bottoms (august 4 2023)

Z

Numbers

21 - awfultune (july 2 2019)

3.15.20 by childish gambino (march 20 2020)

[thedreadvampy]

I had a nice relaxing week at my mum's and then as the week's gone on I've been repeatedly feeling really ill and really dizzy and really uhhhh snippy? like I will suddenly get to the place where I want everyone to shut the fuck up and stop talking to me even though the whole REASON I go to mum's is to have like 18 hours a day of deep chat.

and I got out of the car this afternoon to go to the train station and I felt SO sick and my chest hurt and I was dizzy to the point of lurching and I was like OH. RIGHT. OK. I'M SO FUCKING STRESSED AND OVERWHELMED BUT I DIDN'T NOTICE BECAUSE I DON'T ACTUALLY FEEL CONSCIOUSLY ANXIOUS.

I am Very Good at subsuming these things.

so mum kind of nudged me towards thinking about how long it's been since I wasn't kind of in turmoil and I'm like ok so stuff's happened this past week and that was on the tail end of the buying a house thing. which overlapped with the moving jobs thing and was preceded by both the quitting the old job thing and the whole housemate moving out suddenly thing. which happened just as I was recovering from breaking up with Jay in August-October 2023. and both the relationship stuff and the house stuff were kind of precipitated at least in part by the fact that I had been in full burnout from work since November 2022 when my boss announced she was going on mat leave. but by then I was already burnt out from Big Project overwork Aug-Oct 22, and right before that there was a big campaign, so the last time I was actually not in rush mode was probably like July 2022? oh which is when I had COVID the first time. cool.

so like I haven't been in CRISIS crisis. like this is stable compared to the bulk of my life because I have had disposable income stable work decent housing and no new Trauma Times. so this has all registered as Still Pretty Ok. but also I have been running on empty for one reason or another for the better part of two years now which has played merry hell with my health and relationships and I think it's all come in to land very suddenly this week cause I have kind of put a lot of stuff down and closed a lot of open threads the last month or two.

and I think the closer I got to going home the more that anxiety was sneaking back in so by lunchtime I was so on edge and by 5pm I was about ready to vomit my pancreas through my nose. but it isn't really specific or even really ANXIETY it's kind of. aftershocks. so it hasn't been registering emotionally as stress, consciously I have been feeling...not like fine cause I've had a very emotionally difficult week last week. but Surprisingly Stable And Sensible. but I begin to suspect that this is not an entirely accurate accounting of my emotional state because I spent the whole ride home with my head down and my music up to full blast in my headphones because every noise made in a 100 mile radius made me want to tense up so hard my spine shatters. feels distinctly Unchill.