#ill think on this topic.... i have made adjustments to some designs

[wackywatchdotcom]

see ragatha with horse legs was 100% written because i found the idea extremely funny and wanted to draw it and wasnt intended to be a hc thing. but maybe it SHOULD be.... hm

[starkysa]

"Newscast, the number of people with mental illnesses in the city is increasing year by year, so please do a regular routine and go out more often to adjust your mood."

People rush past the TVs next to the electric stores, just bouncing from company to company for that little paycheck. Busy is the daily life of the street, change is the calendar day by day, unchanged is the routine of life. Unbeknownst to them, the unknown has long since begun to encroach, cognizable only to children and youth.

Late at night, the original playful streets are replaced by a dark silence. The blonde hangs a sign in front of the store saying "Closed" and then turns around and enters the store, locking the door behind him.

"Let the show begin."

===========================

It's May, and although it's not officially summer, the cicadas are squeaking and chirping outside the window with no small amount of penetration. As we approach the days when students are on summer break, everyone is hoping to get a more satisfactory GPA to go back to their parents before the end of the semester.

"Mark! I'm out of carbon pens! When are you going to go to the stationery store to buy some stationery back?" The teenager named Cesar crossed his legs and spun his pen in his chair, a half-written macroeconomics topic spread out on his desk. "Got it, will go later ...... And when are you going to go to the stationery store by yourself? I borrow mine every time." Mark agreed to the other's request with an expressionless face, helplessly turning back to ask the other two what they thought.

"Give a scissors! Otherwise I'm going to be blown out by my design teacher if I don't have scissors to use in design class again."

"Correction tape please."

"Okay."

"Mark you are my big daddy! Good job!"

"Okay, okay, Jonah don't look at me with such an exaggerated expression, can you learn from Adam, look how reserved he is."

"He's fine the way he is now, he won't be happy by the time the Quiz grades come out for the stats class anyway."

"Hey Adam what do you mean! I'm not bad at stats alright, no just, just a few points below you ......"

"Out of 10 lad." Adam snickered at Jonah's silly response as he swiped his phone, then proceeded to deliver the money with Jonah to Mark.Mark stuffed the bills deep into his pocket, "Cesar you ......" "You bought it for yourself, I lent it to you."

So true ...... never mind, just pay for your burnt breakfast ......

This was Mark's last thought before he left the classroom door

"Ding-dong."

"Welcome, what can I get you?" The blonde owner asked Mark, who had just stepped into the stationery, with a smile on his face as he wore a pair of glasses.The stationery store was surprisingly quiet, and although it had actually been open on the street for a while, it still looked as if it had just popped up out of the blue, with that new store renovation kind of paint and formaldehyde smell hitting the air, interspersed with the papier-mâché and metallic smells of the stationery. This store didn't smell very good, that was Mark's first thought when he entered the store. If it wasn't for the fact that the owner of the previous stationery store had passed away for some reason, he wouldn't have come here to buy stationery.

"A carbon pen, an eraser, a refillable correction tape and a pair of safety blunt tip scissors, please."

"Okay oh~ Please wait."

The moment he heard the shopkeeper speak, Mark felt an inexplicable vicious chill, like the physical sensation of falling into an ice cave, and he involuntarily shivered a little, trying to alleviate his mental discomfort and resolved to never come back to this store to buy stationery next time.

"Sorry about that, the store owner himself is rather afraid of the heat, the air conditioning is on low haha, excuse me."

Mark didn't even bother to think about why an ordinary carbon pen was actually selling for 30 dollars before he hurriedly left the place that made him uncomfortable.

"Take care of yourself~ I, for one, am looking forward to you guys~"

Whew... running all the way back to the school Mark breathed a long sigh of relief, silently celebrating the end of his ordeal while delivering the items his friend had asked for. Until this time, Mark didn't realize that he seemed to have been swindled out of a lot of money, but he didn't want to go back to that hellhole and argue with that squint, and after being forced to accept the reality, he cursed as thin as a mosquito's voice:

"F**k."

======================

At the end of the day's program, Mark drove the other three back to the shared B&B with him.

"Mark, I understand the reasoning, but why is this carbon pen of yours so expensive? It can't be something expensive, no fraud, right, or should I return it? It's so expensive." Cesar poured over the 30-knife carbon pen, taking it apart and putting it back together again and again. "Come on Cesar, don't take it apart, if you do, the parts will fall out of the car and you won't even be able to find them." "Like the Ouija board charger you put in the car earlier." "Jonah shut up I finally found it okay?" "Okay, okay, sir, don't be mad, it's just a matter of finding it for 2 hours haha." "...."

Back home, Jonah jumped straight up and pounced on the couch, reached for the gamepad and chips on the coffee table and started a new round of gaming.Mark put the oversized eraser and super expensive carbon pen on the coffee table next to Jonah, then dropped his book bag next to the seal doll, took out his homework and wrong questions and started to think about how to write them.Adam went upstairs to get his correction tape and went to work on his newly swiped paranormal narration. circling the whiteboard.Cesar washed his hands and turned to the kitchen, grabbing cocoa powder and making each of them a cup of hot cocoa.

"Jonah where did you put the scissors?" "Over there" Jonah pointed in the direction of the book bag, "Oh well thanks!" After dropping a couple of marshmallows into his hot cocoa he took the scissors and cut open the unopened package of steak meat. "Oh yo, these scissors are so sharp! No wonder it's so expensive." Shocked, Cesar tried cutting the ribs with the scissors and it was an easy fix as well.

"Hey Jonah, why don't you give me the scissors to use for cutting vegetables, it's really too good!"

"Oh... Huh? Don't you have a special shears in your kitchen, you have to catch me gripping mine, haven't you gripped Mark's stationery enough?"

"It's not like we're going to use it during that time at school anyway."

"OK, remember to put it in my pencil box after use, don't throw it in the kitchen."

"Oh, okay."

After saying that Cesar closed the refrigerator door and forgot the scissors in the refrigerator.

Darkness. Total darkness. I can't see anything. It's like a mist over my eyes.

Where is this place? Wait, when did I get here? Does this place even exist?

Water. There seems to be water on the ground, I can feel wading through it, this water seems to be getting deeper?

Why was I just thinking about moving forward? Was this a dream?

Is this a dream? I should still be in a dream! Otherwise it wouldn't explain the sudden appearance.

Well, that could be kind of interesting.

It's a little interesting.

How long has it been going on and it doesn't feel like it's a good idea to keep going around in circles, can we wake up?

But why, I can't wake up. Damn it! Wake up!!!

That. What's that?

That shadow inside the water that looks like a snake. Eyes! So many eyes! That's not a snake!

Damn it, I can't control my body! Get away from me!

Uh, it's strung up, and it's like it's turning its face around?

!!!

"Haaah!"

"Adam!"

"Jonah?"

Jonah looked over at Adam with a worried look on his face, "Did you have a nightmare? I see you're breathing so hard and in a cold sweat."

"Nothing, just a nightmare."

"Oh, that's good-"

"Jonah?"

"A... A...Adammmm…"

" OMG behind Uuuuuuuuuuuu!!! "

"What," Adam turned his head and the vertical telson on the serpentine creature's face stared straight at Adam, the distance between them only a finger's width apart.

"F**K!"

Venomous fangs pierced the fragile neck, and as the sharp object penetrated deeper, Adam's consciousness was lost in the snake's entanglement of signals.

!

Adam jerked his head up, looked around and then pressed his throbbing temples.

"Uh uh... I slept in the classroom? Why did these people let me sleep over here after school without telling me? I'm really sorry."

"Boom!"

A blast of thunder illuminated the classroom in the darkness, only to see the floor-to-ceiling window with scarlet spray writing:

"ADAM IKU ARE HERE."

Lightning illuminated the dark red paint as if it were as bright red as fresh blood, the sky glowed an eerie, highly saturated indigo, and the inside of the classroom was filled with fog. For just a moment, hundreds of eyes just like the snake's surfaced in the air, large and small, staring directly at Adam, who paused for a moment, stumbled, turned, and ran into the ghastly white-lit corridor, the eyes behind him coming at him like a flood.

"Haaaaahhhh..."

I don't know how long he had been running, but when he reached the bathroom, Adam gasped for breath, unlocked the door sharply and sat down on the floor. After briefly regaining his energy, he got up and saw his "self" in the mirror and said in his own voice:

"I can't get away."

Then the "self" in the mirror twisted and changed into the snake that crawled out of the mirror and strangled Adam's carotid artery...

"Adam, why do I get the feeling you didn't sleep well?"

"Shut up."

Adam, who had given Jonah a slap, confirmed the touch, judging that it should have been a breath of air upon returning to reality.

"Let's go, we're going to be late, you know the attendance system for studying is kinda strict."

Jonah, while searching for an apple inside the fridge incidentally found the scissors that Cesar had forgotten and after spitting out a comment, he put away the scissors and tossed the apple to Adam.

"Say Jonah."

"What?"

"Did you see a snake at your feet with four arms full of eyes?"

"Are you out of your mind? Don't scare me! I know you like to study paranormal events, right!"

"Right---" Adam trailed off in a long lazy voice, "I'm scaring you, let's go, drive properly today, no bobbing your head while listening to music. " Adam tapped Jonah on the shoulder and walked behind him, Jonah froze for a moment as he saw Adam kick the air around him, not thinking too much he turned and followed Adam to the garage to get the car started.

"Hey Adam. are you sure you're okay?"

"Really."

"Really?"

"Really!!! How many times do I have to say it Jonah?!"

"Okay, okay, know you're okay..." Jonah scowled and continued to focus on driving, but Adam's kicking at the air earlier still lingered in the back of his mind. In the spirit of his intuition, which was always spot on, Jonah decided to keep his mouth shut, but still remained skeptical of Adam's behavior.

Adam walked into the classroom as usual, but due to the effects of that dream from last night, he had been in a state of disorientation all morning. He couldn't listen to the lesson and all he could think about was the sinister snake whispering to him.

"I can't get away."

"You can't get away."

"Shut up！！！！！！"

"Adam, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing... Nothing, Professor, I'm going out."

After saying that Adam pushed away his desk and got up and left the classroom, ignoring the professor's words about the location of the counseling room, and came to the stairway holding his forehead with one hand and bracing himself against the cold wall with the other. With his temples still hurting, Adam felt like he was about to lose his footing, and the scene in front of him began to flicker with black halo shadows. Shaking his heavy head, he pressed his forehead against the wall, hoping that the cold wall would ease his pain.

In a flash, the shadow of the snake wandered past and Adam began to wonder if he was still in reality.

"Adam!"

"What?" The sharp pain was suddenly gone, and Adam obediently turned his head to look at the owner of the voice.

"What are you doing here?" Cesar asked to Adam who was leaning against the orange wall.

"Came out to use the restroom, why."

"Nothing, just in time for class to end, join us in the cafeteria?"

After a moment of thought, Adam felt that his head didn't hurt that much for the moment, so he agreed to Cesar's invitation.

Then he stepped short of the stairs.

Cesar was quick to tug on Adam's hood and pull him back.Adam was slightly shocked, but quickly returned to his usual aloof self. After checking left and right to see that there was no Jonah nearby, he tested the floor to see if it was solid.

"I heard from Jonah that you're in bad shape today."

Cesar looked at the strange behavior of the person in front of him and asked Adam with some suspicion, in order to prevent Adam from falling again, his hand didn't even leave Adam's shoulder, Adam was a bit impatient and knocked off Cesar's hand on his shoulder, emphasizing once again that he was fine and then descended the stairs without looking back, Cesar said jokingly:

"It couldn't be the ghost of the literature Mark bought yesterday that scared you into insanity, could it?"

"I didn't, and aren't you going to dinner, what are you standing around for."

Mark laughed at Cesar's theory of the stationery murders, he was so imaginative, stationery could turn into a person, so why not expect your own hand puppet to move, and Cesar just said in a playful tone that he was just making it up, and then turned into a serious look:

"I'm worried about Adam, he's really not in good shape."

"Take him to the hospital."

"He doesn't look like he wants to go to the hospital that way." Jonah came in clutching his books and textbooks and elaborated on Adam's strange behavior this morning. "Or maybe he just didn't sleep well." Cesar opened his book and flipped through a few random pages then closed it again.

Although Mark was in a state of complete disbelief about Cesar's theory, he did see his big rubber seemingly move a few centimeters with no one around.

Mark had a feeling that his beliefs might have taken a turn for the worse.

[ddarker-dreams]

Deal With The Devil. Yan Hades Giorno x Reader

Warnings: Isolation, implied kidnapping, forced marriage, brief non explicit sexual themes, and mentions of death.  Word count: 3.2k.

Time alone is better than time spent in the company of someone you despise. 

Skillful fingers run over the wilted stems of your carnations, a frown on your face at the current lifeless appearance. Dull shades of grey slowly turn to a vivacious green where your fingers pass over. Next are the petals, which are all but gone, a far cry from the flora’s typical beauty. At your delicate touch, it’s as if the hands of time are set in reverse. Soft fibers tickle your bare your skin, petals flourishing anew, now with a rosy glow. Standing from your bed, you return the revitalized carnations to their previous position on the windowsill. 

The bright, pastel colors are in stark contrast to the obsidian colored walls that trap you. Darkness, like an everlasting night, cannot be cast aside by your pretty decorations. No matter how hard you try to do just that. The lone sources of illumination in the underworld, torches or lanterns, have also earned your scorn. How you had taken the sun for granted, the natural warmth it provided ethereal in comparison to this manufactured light. Sighing, you push the negative thoughts away, aware they do nothing for you. Wallowing in your grief harms the precious flowers you create.

The onyx marble flooring beneath your bare feet is cold and unnatural. Closing your eyes for but a moment, you remember how blades of grass used to feel in the summer and spring. Those blissful days traversing fields without a care in the world feel like centuries ago. You’ve tried to recreate grass as it is on the surface, but with mixed results, and now stick with forming flowers instead. 

You take a mental inventory of the surrounding flora to check for problems. These creations of yours are a reliable pastime and bittersweet memory. No matter the life you instill into the delicate blooms, in the underworld, they wither away at an accelerated pace. Your days are spent reviving them or creating new bouquets to decorate this dreadful bedchamber. What else is there to do? 

Nothing, you answer the question yourself, scowling. As if on cue, your poppies wilt at the sharp turn in mood, petals falling onto the ground and crumbling to dust. So the cycle continues. Understanding the passage of time when there is no sun is difficult, but if you were to guess, those poppies were just a few hours old. While you consider what to replace them with, a pair of eyes watch from nearby.

“In my brief time down here, this would be my first time seeing such beautiful flowers.” A feminine voice praises. Your eyes widen, head whipping around to find the source of the words. In front of your canopy bed stands a wispy figure. It takes the faint form of a human being, though lacking color and partially transparent. 

It takes a second of tentative thought for you to realize what this apparition is. A soul. Not just any soul, a soul of a mortal, you presume. You haven’t spoken to a mortal in some time now. How did a soul manage to find its way to you, hidden away in the depths of the underworld’s palace? As if sensing your bewilderment, the soul speaks up.

“Is it true that I am speaking to the daughter of Demeter?” The soul questions. You nod, pushing down the agony of hearing your dearest mother’s name. “Then it seems I have hope after all.” 

Silence settles in after the soul’s relieved statement. You take the time to contemplate the possible meaning of this soul’s words, reaching no conclusions. “How is it that you’re here?” 

“... You will not call on his guards?” 

Biting your bottom lip, you swallow down the bile that threatens to rise in your throat at the passing mention of him. “I will do no such thing.” 

“Then lend me your ear for but a moment,” the soul’s voice is tinged with melancholy. “I am dead now, yes, but I was once alive. At that time I was Sotiria. I mothered three children, each splendid in their way, the lights of my life... I do not say this for complaining’s sake but to offer perspective. I never was given a decent lot in life, the child of a sickly widow whose face I can no longer remember. 

Poverty was all I knew until I drew my final breath. I took work equally as it came, whether it was working the fields or being a companion to men at night. Anything for the sake of feeding three hungry mouths. But it was never enough. My youngest, Cyril, fell ill. To keep him alive I had to be by side at all hours. And so it goes… at my wit’s end from starvation, I had no choice, you must understand.” 

Sortiria’s voice grows weaker, barely reaching your ears as she finishes her sentence. “I coveted, and I stole. Nothing more than I would need to keep my children alive for another day. When they caught me, well,” she motions to her phantom-like form with a pained smile. “I was killed.” 

Your heart aches at her plight. “How terrible...” 

“Yes, I’d agree so,” she doesn’t linger on the topic, eager to move to her final point. “But it need not end this way.” 

“There is a reason I stand in your presence now. I heard rumors, waiting among the listless souls for Charon to ferry us to judgment. Rumors that gave me hope where I had none. That the god of the underworld had taken a wife, a wife who boasts a compassionate heart. You, [First].” 

The pieces she’s presented you with fall into place. Your lips part, the world around you spinning, as Sotiria presents a final plea. “Please, go to him and ask that I may return to my body. That I may return to my children. Us humans have taken to praying to you for mercy when knocking on death’s door. I implore you, hear my prayer now.” 

“I will not speak to him, no, I refuse to speak to him. Even if I did as you asked, who is to say he will listen to me? My cries for freedom have been denied, how would this be any different? I hear your prayers but have no power to answer them. My matrimony did not make me the goddess of the dead.” 

Neither of you dares to mention Giorno by name, remaining cautious of what could happen, as he’s made aware every time his name is spoken. Even the mortals fear him, you think. And for good reason. You wonder if that’s how this was presented to the humans. A requited romance between the daughter of Demeter and Giorno, a union that gives hope to those dying. None of them know the truth, that you’re forced to remain here, tucked away from the wistful life you once had. That his self proclaimed adoration is nothing but suffocating and self-serving. 

“You and you alone are the apple of his eye,” Sotiria insists with utmost urgency. “He will heed your words more than anyone else’s.” 

“He has refused me everything of value that I have begged for.” The words are spat out with venom. You fail to notice that with your growing temper, the flowers you tended to prior shrivel up at unprecedented speed, a reflection of your distraught emotional state. Your chest heaves with each strained breath, fists clenching by your side until your nails pierce your skin. Does Sotiria not understand? How could anyone empathize with how the sorrow you feel? You stand in this saturnine chamber that remains your prison, Giorno the steadfast ward. 

“I can not speak on what I don’t know,” she lowers her head. “But I do know this. You have his favor. You are his wife -- whether it was by your design or not -- and he holds affection for you in his heart. Go, speak to him, I beg of you. If not for my sake, then for my children.” 

“But--” 

“I can’t spend any more time here,” Sortiria looks around, her already faint form disappearing. “Please.” 

Then she is gone. 

You stare, eyes wide as a doe, at the spot Sortiria once occupied in your dim room. Nothing of her remains but the convicting call for action. Her words ring like funeral tolls in your mind, unrelenting, and weighing down on you. There’s no denying the effect her request has on you. Sortiria’s dedication to her children reminds you of your mother, who has tried everything to get you back. An ache in your chest pushes you forward, your legs moving subconsciously to the door. 

She risked eternal damnation to speak with you. Leaving your room that never remains locked, you’re met with a similar color palette of midnight black and crimson red bricks. Hell flame is blinding at first, but when your eyes adjust, you catch the demonic guards stationed at your door looking in surprise. Giorno has granted you the freedom to traverse his palace as you please, but you rarely take him up on the offer, preferring to spite him by remaining in your room. When he searches for your company he knows where to find you. Loneliness haunts Giorno Giovanna like a plague, never warded off successfully until he acquired you. 

No one dares question your intentions, averting their gaze to avoid eye contact as you travel down twisting halls. Your heart pounds against your ribcage through the journey, not knowing how Giorno will react to your uninvited appearance. This would be the first time you’ve sought him out of your violation. While wandering his palace, you can’t help but notice the difference in decorum compared to your room. He had tried to make adjustments to your personal space so that it would reflect a different aesthetic than the underground, fully aware of your displeasure with the gloomy architecture. 

Not that it matters, you think. Nothing could make up for what Giorno’s taken from you aside from permanently returning to the surface. Rounding a sharp turn, you hold your breath at the sight. Cerberus towers in this grand hall and immediately picks up on your presence. The daunting creature lowers itself to the ground, three pairs of eyes piercing through you. A tense moment later, it seems content to let you pass, recognizing your position as Giorno’s beloved. 

Behind Cerebrus is where your true challenge lies. Two monumentally sized doors that lead to Giorno’s throne room stand in your way. Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes, Sortiria’s words reverberating in your mind. Perhaps you are soft on the mortals, as your mother once warned you, but she was guilty of the same. Should you be successful, and Sortiria lives to tell the tale, you wonder if your mother will visit her and ask after you. 

The doors open when you take a step forward. This palace is an extension of Giorno, you’ve come to realize, bending to your whims to please you. While lacking the necessary preparation to make a sound argument, you have an idea of what may convince Giorno to do as you bid. Any confidence you may have had from knowing you have his favor melts like ice in the spring when his eyes land on you. These eyes, that belong to one of the universe’s most powerful gods, feel heavy and cumbersome. Giorno nods his head in acknowledgment, a good sign. You wish you could hear his thoughts. His sculpted face is impossible to read as ever, in comparison, you feel like an open book. 

You manage to force out a cordial greeting despite your petrified state. “I was hoping to have an audience if you’re not otherwise occupied.” 

Giorno sits on his sizeable throne, presence imposing yet regal. In contrast to his spun gold hair, the throne is dark as twilight, embedded with rubies and numerous precious gems. He isn’t just the god of the dead, you remind yourself, but also the god of wealth. That’s all Giorno has ever felt like to you, some distant figure. Nothing more, not now or ever. His attempts to kindle an intimate relationship with you have been discarded like weeds. Now in his physical presence, reverence takes place of the disgust you normally feel towards him. 

“If it pleases you.” Giorno’s voice is undeniably soothing, every syllable ringing clear as a bell. At his confirmation, you tread forward, over an expansive vermillion carpet. The walk feels like an eternal punishment. He takes the time to scrutinize your body language. You didn’t expect anything different, fully aware that he’d be taken aback by this bold arrival. Doubts in your head cry louder as you lessen the distance. That after all this time, he might see fit to punish you for this final act of entering his throne room without an invitation. Interfering with Giorno’s work might be the final insult he tolerates. You are his wife, but what respite has that granted you before? 

You bow your head down as a show of respect. “I apologize for arriving unannounced.” 

“Your presence is a welcome one,” Giorno seamlessly dismisses your concern. “Though, I might add, unexpected.” 

Despite your best efforts, your posture goes rigid, likely playing into what Giorno designed. Your husband is as pleasant as he is efficient in his conversations, you’ve learned. It’d be a fool’s wish to think otherwise. Sortiria’s words, though you wish they didn’t, held truth. All have come to know Giorno’s affection for you through his special treatment. It’s a blessing and a curse.

“I would’ve come sooner, but I feared you were busy.” 

Giorno gazes up at your through golden eyelashes, voice lowering as he speaks from the heart. “I will always make time for you.” 

Is it wise to start with your true request? The clock’s ticking and you need to decide without further delay. Anxiety and regret battle for dominance in your mind, but you keep it at bay, recalling the true priority. A mother’s tender love for her offspring. There’s nothing more important to you than doing right by this tormented soul. Sortiria’s words resurface, “Us humans have taken to praying to you for mercy when knocking on death’s door”, she had told you. You were but a minor goddess until this point, and content as you were with that, there was nothing of astonishing value for you to offer the world. Creating and maintaining gardens was all you could do. Now, you have a real chance to do good, to reunite a family. The prayers offered up to you until give strength.

“Would you please stand?” You ask with a sheepish smile. It’s a simple request to test the waters and also a way to feel less intimidated. Giorno blinks but voices no complaints. From his throne, he stands, still towering over you but feeling less intimidating. You step forward, raising your hand and placing it to his cheek. His skin is cold and smooth to the touch. It reminds you of the flower petals you adore so much. There’s no denying Giorno’s beauty, you must confess, it’s almost like his face is perfectly sculpted art. You can tell he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“Truth be told, there’s something that troubles me deeply,” you confess, to which he frowns. “That’s what I wanted to speak about.” 

Giorno prompts you to continue. “And that is?” 

The worst he can do to me is say no, you tell yourself. He’s had no difficulty doing that in the past when you’ve begged for freedom. No harm would come to you -- any spite Giorno might feel would be directed elsewhere -- but that doesn’t bring comfort. Sortiria would be punished if Giorno believed she was taking advantage of you. Sentenced to eternity in Tartarus. 

“A single request. I wish to reunite a soul with her body, so that she may continue her life that was cut short,” you rub your thumb over his cheek. “Please do me this one good.” 

“Sortiria, was it?” Giorno takes your stunned silence as confirmation, not that he needed any. The two of you were careful not to mention him by name. So he knew all along? It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but you still feel disheartened, blood draining from your face. 

“It’s a rare occurrence that I permit a soul to leave the underworld,” he explains what you already know in a calm tone. “[First], you know I hate to deny you anything, but--” 

“I wasn’t done.” You interrupt without thinking, overwhelmed by enough emotion to drown out logic. Giorno’s mannerisms and subtleties can be picked up on after all this time you’ve spent with him, and you know he was going to politely reject your request. Neither of you utters a word. It’s a split-second decision, but you set your qualms aside, considering the greater implications. 

“Giorno,” you call him by his name for the first time, his eyes widening at the slight nuance. “If… if you do this for me, I… I will allow you to finally consummate our marriage.” 

Your face feels like it’s on fire from the lascivious suggestion. There’s nothing else you can offer Giorno that’s valuable enough to convince him. Nothing other than yourself that is -- which you’ve vehemently refused him up until now -- swearing you’d sooner cast yourself into Phlegethon than let him lay with you. You hear your heart pounding in your ears as you await his final response. Giorno’s eyelids flutter shut, eyebrows scrunching together. 

“This means that much to you?” He asks, not entirely convinced himself. This fiery passion you’re portraying is new. Days of passively tending to your flowers gave him a different impression of you. Now, faced with a cause you truly believe in, you’re willing to do anything. 

“It does,” you confirm without further hesitation. “Please give me this single happiness.” 

You don’t dare breathe until Giorno speaks again. He reopens his eyes and appears deep in thought. Dread clouds your mind, dominating any thoughts that might bring you comfort. You’ve done the best you could. 

“Very well.” Giorno bends to your whims after a long moment’s deliberation. Joy blossoms in your chest, a genuine smile gracing your features. He places his hand over yours, shivers running down your spine from the cool sensation. The negotiations are far from over, as Giorno returns his attention to your prior claim. He wants to test your conviction and see if you’ll give him a piece of what he’s ached for.

He squeezes your hand gently, voice so quiet that only you could hear it. “Is what you said true?”

It’s the only viable option, is how you reaffirm yourself. A degrading option, you recognize, but no one aside from the two of you would ever know. It’s been a long and good fight that you’ve put up. Denying a god his desires is not an easy task by any stretch of the imagination. Goosebumps dot your skin, reality feeling so far away, as you seal your fate. 

“You have my word.”

Giorno smiles -- in a way you’ve never seen before -- an unidentifiable gleam in his omnipotent eyes.

“Then I will see it done.” 

[alwaysbeliev]

Oh, Arthur

pairing: Arthur x Reader

summary: Reader lives a high society life and is tired of it. When they meet a man so intriguing they can't help but let him steal a place at their dinner table, they start to hope that, maybe, there is something else to their life. Instead, they hurt him more than they may ever know.

word count: 3026

warnings: non-explicit NSFT, vague descriptions of NSFT

notes: I pulled the prompt for this from a list of phrases. I knew the general idea of what I wanted to do with it, and it took on its own life. Congratulations, Reader, you're Mary 2.0.

link on AO3

Noonday sun pierced between the curtains of the front room. The chatter of the small tea party around you was a distant hum, your focus on the spoon you held in your hand. Absentmindedly, you stirred the sugar into your tea, hardly aware of the soft clinking against the cup. Your mind was elsewhere.

Pressed against the wall, chest heaving, he kissed along your jawline and down your neck, pausing to nibble at the soft space where your neck met your shoulders. You couldn’t help but let out a soft gasp, lips parted, hands gripping the sleeves of his shirt. He smiled against your skin and exhaled, making you shiver. 

The sound of your name caused your head to snap up to attention.

“Did you hear what Mrs. Hearst asked you?” Your mother stared at you expectantly. The look in her eyes was begging you to not embarrass her, but you had truthfully missed what the woman in question had asked. Heat rushed to your cheeks and you quickly pulled an apologetic smile.

“I’m so sorry,” you said graciously, dipping your head slightly, “my mind is with the clouds today. Would you mind repeating your question?”

“Oh, I do hope we’re not boring you.” Mrs. Hearst pursed her lips, accentuating the creased lines along her face that had no doubt been created solely from this repeat action. “As I was saying, my darling Charlotte has traveled to the West and is already meeting many men. She has already had three suitors calling at the door! Her brother is beside himself with contempt. Perhaps you, too, would like to go west? Unless there is someone here you have not shared with us?”

Her question hung in the air. The room was full of your mother’s friends and their children, though the rest of them were still too young to have to worry about meeting a potential spouse. You hated this conversation topic. It was always bound to come up when you had tea with these people, it was expected now after more than a few months, and you were tempted to start feigning ill when they came around.

Truthfully, you had met someone. He was the reason you were barely paying attention today. But if your family knew the type of man he was, that you were consorting with him, that you were fucking him… It was a subject you could never mention. It would ruin the family, and that was far too important a reputation to destroy. So, instead, with a barely concealed tartness, you replied, “I have not yet met someone, no, but perhaps I will write your Charlotte and help myself to her leftovers.”

A sharp gasp rang collectively around the room. Even the youngest of the children froze in their quiet playing, turning to see what had caused such a reaction among the adults, and your mother looked downright furious. It was rude to say, you knew that, but it was hot in this room and you were tired of being under a microscope once a week. There was someplace else you would much rather be.

“Perhaps you could do with some fresh air,” your mother hissed, her attempt to sound concerned for your sudden outburst not going unnoticed by some of the others. “The heat must be getting to your head.”

You gratefully took her invitation to leave, excusing yourself to the room in general. As you pushed back your chair and stood, you saw the nasty look Mrs. Hearst gave your mother and felt just a twinge of guilt; it wasn’t her fault you misbehaved. You were simply overwhelmed and didn’t appreciate being pushed around.

The air felt better in the hallway, but you carried on to the back door, stepping out onto the modest deck your father had built last summer. “For entertaining,” he had claimed, but it was primarily used for poker games amongst the men. Bright light hit your face and you blinked rapidly for a moment to adjust. It wasn’t much cooler out here, but the air moved and provided a relief from the prying words.

Taking in a deep breath, you closed your eyes and tilted your chin up, soaking in the shade and breathing in the summer air. Birds twittered in the air around you, fluttering from tree to tree. Carriages pulled by horses trundled by in front of the house, the cobblestones making a distinct clattering sound against the carefully designed wheels. Squirrels scrambled up and down tree trunks in the meticulously landscaped yard.

Flat on your back, you hungrily drank in the appearance of the man hanging over you, desperate to take in every detail of his face. His honey brown hair fell over his forehead, almost reaching his eyes as he trapped your wrists on either side of your head. His intense blue-green eyes matched the hunger in yours as he locked gazes with you. He had stubble on his chin that had been scratching your skin deliciously.

“Are you ready?” he asked, voice rough with impatience and need. You couldn’t even muster up the words to answer him, nodding vigorously as he kneeled closer to you. 

“I hope you’re happy!”

The shrill sound of your mother’s voice snapped you out of your reverie. You hoped the redness on your cheeks could be excused by the temperature of the air.

“I hope she’s happy, sticking her nose into peoples’ personal business like that,” you rebutted. 

“I won’t be hosting next week’s tea,” she snapped back. “And I have been very clearly not invited to the next party at the Clemens’. I don’t know where you got this sharp tongue, but you had better put it back! And quick!” With that, she whirled back inside, no doubt to try and garner sympathy from the remaining stragglers. Knowing her, she would be reinvited to the party just in time to get a new evening gown for it. Your father would be relieved at not having to go, and would grumble to you afterwards about having been forced to go anyway.

The predictability of this life was draining. You were exhausted from the parties, the expectations, the demands. Was it not enough to simply exist? Surely there was more to everything than the finest silks, the most expensive meat, the purest horses.

On an excursion you had enjoyed much more than your mother, you had seen a man outside the grocery in Strawberry. He was tall, rugged, and the most handsome you had ever seen. You had made eye contact and he raised his eyebrows, almost challenging you to approach. It had been difficult to stop yourself from smiling as you ducked your head, attempting to return your focus to the trinkets your mother was pointing out to you. His gaze continued to burn a hole in the back of your head.

Later that evening, you ate dinner in the hotel lodge, listening to your mother tear apart the decor of the room and flavor of the food. It was the cheapest meal you had ever eaten in your life, you were sure, but by far the most filling. She excused herself to bed early, leaving you to finish alone. Out of nowhere, the man from earlier slid into her vacant seat, setting a plate of his own at her place.

“Excuse me--” You tried to sound indignant, but he interrupted you.

“Forgive me if I misread your look earlier,” he drawled, “but I took it as an invitation. And I think it’d be mighty rude of you to decline, seein’ as I already have my food.”

The bluntness caused you to laugh, almost involuntarily, and he had been allowed to stay. You got along almost immediately. He was charming, his laugh deep and hearty, his manners surprising you. Up close, you could see the scars on his face, the dirt and grime of a man who rode a horse most of his days, the tanned skin from being outside for hours. He introduced himself as Arthur, but when you asked for his last name, he refused to give it. There was a strange air of secrecy to him that drew you in and made you lose track of time.

Before you knew it, the lights in the dining room were being extinguished. The waiter approached and apologized, but they were closing up and politely invited you to enjoy wine refreshment in the lobby. Nerves suddenly returned to you and you defaulted to the upstanding citizen of society you knew how to be.

“I’m sorry, my mother must be wondering where I got to.” 

“Why? She seemed a lot more interested in getting the hell out of here.”

His lack of a filter surprised you, but you realized he was right. She hadn’t once responded to your fruitless efforts to lighten the mood and find the positives. It was clear she had no interest in remaining here much longer. She was probably already asleep and wouldn’t notice you were missing until she was awake again.

“I got my own room.” It was Arthur’s turn to appear shy. Despite his forward statement, he almost seemed to regret it. “We could, uh, keep talkin’ there. If you wanted.”

Talking, you definitely wanted to do. You agreed, joking lightly about your honor as a single person entering the bedroom of a man, but you found yourself following him. His room was on the opposite end of the hall from yours, your mother’s right beside yours. Neither light was on. The giddiness settled in your chest and you played with the buttons on your sleeve.

Talking, you definitely did. For about five minutes. You barely had a chance to blink when Arthur was suddenly kissing you. And you kissed him back. It wasn’t much longer until neither of you were dressed. 

It had been three months since that first meeting. You had since learned much more about Arthur. He was an outlaw, running with Dutch van der Linde’s gang. He had been for a long time, and you found out after seeing a wanted poster with names of gang members listed on it. You had learned his last name, too. Morgan. He spilled everything when you brought it up after your third encounter, clothes piled on the floor, blankets mussed up around your two bare forms on the bed. Despite his appearance, Arthur was well-spoken and kind, and he was always aware of your feelings.

Standing on the porch, you wanted nothing more than to see him again, the itch to get away driving you mad. Torn, you debated running away again. Nobody would question your borrowing of a horse, you knew that wouldn’t be difficult, but you dreaded the interrogation you would have to be submitted to upon your return. The summer heat was starting to get to your head.

“A-Arthur,” you moaned, hands clenched tightly on ruffled sheets, not even caring who might hear. The pace was driving you towards the edge, you could feel the build-up in your core. He showed no signs of slowing down as he thrust. His own pleasure was clear on his face and it only served to push you closer.

You nearly left a cloud of dust behind you as you left the porch for a horse. It would be worth the interrogation.

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You were barely in the door of the hotel room before you were grabbing at the cowboy’s shirt, tugging him closer to you and kissing him. You felt the chuckle in his chest more than you heard it as he shut the door.

“Slow down, darlin’,” he said between each kiss. “We just got here, there ain’t no rush.”

“Missed you,” you breathed. Your hands pawed desperately, almost like they were trying to uncover some distraction from the turmoil inside. Arthur hadn’t caught on yet; this was the normal interaction. Sex was first, the talking came second. The grin on his face was intoxicating, drawing you in, and you felt your entire body flush.

“I missed you, too.” His hands held either side of your face as his lips came crashing against yours. You couldn’t hold him tight enough, he wasn’t close enough, you wanted so much more. Every place he touched burned, his finger tips at the base of your head, his thumbs brushing your cheeks, it was overwhelming. You fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. He paused, gently grabbing your hands in his. “Slow. Down.”

“I can’t,” you whined, the heat in you bubbling to the surface. “I need this. More. You.”

Arthur hesitated. He studied your face for a moment, looking for...something. With a heart-dropping change in expression, he scoffed, “I’m a goddamn fool. Jesus..” He dropped your hands and stepped away, taking his hat off to run a hand through his hair.

“What..?”

You were still breathing heavily, your body confused by the direction change, hands still searching for something to grab. Brow furrowed, you tried to close the gap between the two of you, but he refused to look at you anymore. You drew a shaky breath to steady yourself.

“Arthur, what is it?”

“I can’t believe this.” The tone of his voice was difficult to place. There was the obvious anger, which you didn’t understand, but there was also a strange touch of sadness. It almost sounded like he was beating himself up about something. “I should’ve known after Mary…”

Mary Linton. You had heard of her, he had mentioned her before, but beyond knowing it was a failed relationship, you had little to no context for her. It had ended on mutual terms, you thought. It still wasn’t enough for you to piece together what was going through his head. You had both been ready to go, this was how it was, you were going to have to wash your underthings when you got home just from the first five minutes.

“Arthur,” you finally snapped, “what’s wrong?”

He stiffened up. You could see his fists clench and unclench before his entire body relaxed and he turned, resigned, to face you. The look of defeat and poorly hidden hurt drove a knife into your chest. 

“We can’t keep doing this,” he said. His voice was heavy, laced with context you didn’t know.

“Doing what?”

“This. Sneakin’ off to some hotel, screwing each other, and then going our separate ways like nothin’ matters. Like I don’t matter.”

A pit grew in your gut. Part of you knew what he was saying, but you believed it was deeper than that. Surely, there was more to it than that.

“You do matter,” you managed to say. “You matter to me.”

He laughed, short and derisive, disbelieving. Shaking his head, he made eye contact, gaze sharp. 

“All I’m good for is pretending like you’re standing up to your parents.” He shifted his weight, hands coming to rest on his belt, a comfortable position for him. A safe position. “Mommy and Daddy don’t know where you are or what you’re doin’. All you’re doin’ is using me. And I ain’t gonna let it happen again.”

You expected tears to come to your eyes. It was hurtful, what he said, and absolutely not the truth. Instead, anger flared in your chest, rising to your head and making you lightheaded again. 

“You’re not just some toy--”

“Oh, I’m not just some toy? How very kind of you to say. Tell me, what did you and Mommy fight about this time? Because you know she’s gonna forget about it before you get home.”

The pattern was suddenly clicking together in your head. Each time you had met up with Arthur was directly after your mother had done something to drive you over the edge. It wasn’t always an argument, but this was your escape. In some secret fashion, this activity was better than just reading a book or meeting with your friends for an hour of gossip time. You were able to let off physical pressure and nobody else knew what you were doing. 

Silent for too long, Arthur shook his head and moved to go.

“I hope y’all figure it out,” he told you. “Don’t bother writin’.”

“Wait!” you shouted, much louder than you needed to. He stopped, hand on the doorknob. “It wasn’t-- It wasn’t like that. I care about you, Arthur.”

“Please,” he muttered, a quiet venom lacing his words, “don’t flatter yourself. You’d better get cleaned up before you go home.” A snap of the door was all he left behind.

You felt empty, hollow. There was a strange aching in your chest now, the brief anger gone as quickly as it had arrived, leaving the dull truth of what he had said. You hadn’t wanted to admit it, you had connected so well with him. He was a friend, you rationalized, you had felt more than just a physical connection. You had an understanding. You couldn’t muster up the energy to cry. You had fucked up, you knew that now, but it was too late. Arthur made it very clear he didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. 

For a while, you laid on the bed, watching the light shift around the room as the sun descended, eventually bathing the room in an orange glow. You knew the sun would be gone soon, and your mother would raise a huge fuss if you weren’t home for dinner. Gathering your courage, you left the room, thanking the clerk at the desk as you handed back the key. He had a look on his face that you tried to avoid reading into. 

You returned to your normal life with a heavy heart that night. Arthur Morgan, the outlaw with a huge bounty on his head, had come into your life like a much needed sunny day. He had invited himself in and you welcomed him with open arms. But you used him as an umbrella, shielding yourself from the storm that was your existence and identity, sure that somehow, this would protect you. You pushed him too far, you realized that now, and, full of holes, he left your life, tired and worn out.

[kattwritesuwu]

Can I request a Clingy!monsterTom x Depressed!Reader? Maybe with cutting and suicidal thoughts?

I sure can!!! I LOVE angst!!!!!

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Fandom: Eddsworld

Character: Tom

Reader: Depressed

Fic type: Comfort/angst

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: This WILL heavily mention suic/de, blood, and perhaps other triggering topics, read at your own risk!!

Notes: People, I'm not trying to make depression and similar illness romantic, this is simply for comfort.

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I hate everything.

Well, not everything, but the majority, y'know? Everything just...sucks. Life in general, it's all terrible.

People are terrible. Sure, I've found a few choice people that aren't the bane of my existence, but even they have their flaws.

Am I saying that I'm some heaven sent angel? Hell no I'm not. I'm just as terrible if not more! I hate everyone, including myself.

Am I lying? Yeah. Do I have a crush on someone? Yeah. Am I gonna do something about it? Nope.

Why should I? It's not like I'll be here longer anyways...

I'm planning to kill myself.

Am I scared? Kind of. But at this point I don't care. I'm always scared anyways. Always on my guard around people.

Most people don't know the fear and pain of constantly feeling...numb.

It's not like I never feel anything, it's just so rare. My most common emotion is pain. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. But all I can ever being myself to do is cry, and even that's a rare occurrence at this point.

I feel so alone.

Friends? Yeah I have a few.... they're all a bit odd in their own way. Can't complain though, they're like family to me.

My real family? Not many immediate ones, plus, I moved to England five years ago. They called me everyday for the first couple of months. Nowadays, I can barely get a text back... I get that they have their own lives in their respective country, but man, it just makes me so cold-feeling...

I guess where I was going with this, is that I'm scared. Not of my inevitable death, but everything else.

I'm scared of anything and everything now that I think about it. I don't exactly mean common fears they talk about in elementary school, I'm talking real world problems.

I'm scared of failure, not sure why. I've failed enough in my life....it shouldn't even faze me at this point.

Im especially scared of people.

My friends? Yeah them too. What if I make a fool of myself and they think I'm an idiot? What if I make the wrong move, and they hate me? They probably hate me enough as it is...

That why I won't confess to Tom. He'll hate me afterwards. There's just no point in ruining something for nothing in return.

These were the thoughts that ran through my head as my arms and legs were sliced up by a blade driven by my own hands. It's wasn't like it hurt. All it really did was sting, I'm just that used to being hurt, I suppose.

As I was wrapping up my little 'session' I heard a knock on my door,

"(Y/N)! You in there? It's dinner time! I made breakfast for dinner!" A British accent leaked through my door.

I didn't scramble around at the thought of him walking in, my door was locked after all. It's not like I'm that stupid.

" I'll be there in a few minutes, Edd." I spoke back in a raspy voice, not bothering to yell. Edd has good ears, he can somehow hear a whisper from across the house.

It takes me a minute or two to get up and walk into the bathroom that connects to my room. I stumble a bit with the loss of blood.

Once I get in there I take a quick shower, just barely long enough to stop the bleeding and make it appear as if you just took an actual shower.

Once I get out of the shower, I slip on my (favorite color) hoodie.

That was an easy part of hiding my self abuse. Everyone in the house wore a hoodie of their own designated color.

I also slipped on a longer article of clothing to go onto my legs. Couldn't let them see my thighs either.

Once I finished the rest of my cleaning up, I headed out of my little bathroom, and in front of my door. I took a deep breath, put on a smile, and walked out.

I got about halfway down the stairs before a screech startled me, causing me to trip a bit,

" (Y/N) IS HERE! YAY!" The high pitch British scream could only belong to the narcissistic ginger known as Matt.

Once I got my balance back into my feet, I continued down the stairs and greeted Matt with a wave.

" Yeah she lives here, idiot. She's not going anywhere." A deeper voice had spoken, I turned around and Tom was there as expected. I smile shrunk a bit at his last comment.

" Sup (y/n)." You snapped out of your thoughts and responded with a casual 'yo.'

The three of us then heard a thick accent cursing in the kitchen, no doubt it was Tord,

" For jævla skyld! Just let me have the last piece!!"

Sure enough, when we walked into the kitchen, Edd and Tord were fighting over the last piece of bacon. I let out a sigh, and the two boys finally acknowledged our existence. That alone didn't stop their argument though.

I didn't even bother attempting to break up the fight, I never could anyways. Their little fuss always ends one of two ways. Edd steals the bacon from under Tord's nose, or vise versa.

I just grabbed a small portion of food, and sat down.

I knew I would be gone by the end of tonight...but I wanted to taste Edd's cooking one last time.

Something interesting happened, instead of one of the two boys getting the bacon, they halved it and sat down. Of all my four years living in this house with these people, they've never shared their bacon.

Strange.

Dinner wasn't as talkative as it usually was when we all ate at the table. Usually we'd all have a big group discussion about our day, or week. Tonight was quiet, giving me an opportunity,

" Hey, guys?" Each one of their heads turned to me, and Edd signalled me to continue,

" I just wanted to say, thank you." Their brows furrowed but I held out a hand to tell them to let me finish,

" You four have helped me with so much over the past few years. From when you let me live here when I couldn't find proper housing situations, to letting me borrow the car. I just wanted to formally tell you all how grateful I really am. You are truly the kindest people I've ever met." As I went on talking, I realized how bad of an idea this actually was.

I mean, will they get suspicious? I'm just showing gratitude right? It shouldn't sound like a cry for help or anything...

As I snapped out of thought for the fiftieth time today, I notice that all of the boys have some type of smile on their face, even Tom!

Edd was smiling like a proud mother,

Matt was smiling giddily,

Tord had a smug, 'cool guy' smile,

And Tom had the smallest smile that made my heart melt.

I awkwardly continued my fake smile, and sat down.

Conversation continued on as would on a normal night, with the topic being past pleasant memories.

I volunteered to wash the dishes, it was the least I could do. There was only one problem. For some ungodly reason, Tom had insisted on helping me.

I couldn't figure out why at first, untill it dawned on me that he probably needed something from me.

So as I scrubbed the forgetten food off of the ceramic plate, he rinsed and dried them. We did this in silence, aside from the running water. Tom's the first one to break the tension filled silence,

" So, how have you been?" It was such a simple question, I could have simply faked a toothy grin, and said that I was great. I could have thanked him for asking. I could have asked him back.

But I only did one of those things.

" I've been doing just as good as I always do." I reply with a small sad smile. I tear my eyes away from the dish water," How about you? You've been awfully quiet tonight."

He chuckles lowly," Just had a lot on my mind, trying to face some of my problems, that's all." I stop what I'm doing and look over at him,

" Do you want to talk about it? I think the others are asleep already."

Normally when Tom is having any type of problem, he comes to me for advice, or even just for someone to listen to him rant when he's drunk. I even gave him a spare key to my room if he ever needs me while I'm asleep. He's offered the same for me, but I told him that I have a counselor. I try not to lie to my housemates all the time, only when necessary.

He simply shakes his head in response," Nah, this is one I have to deal with on my own," I sigh,

" Alright then, but keep my offer in mind. Just try to remember to see me before I go to bed, I'm...going to bed early tonight. I have something to do tommorow." He nods in understanding.

After we finish the dishes, we say our goodnights,

" I'll see you in the morning, (y/n)." I give one last fake smile,

" Same to you, Tom. Sleep well." I see him nod and walk down the hall as I close my door and lock it for the final time.

I walk into my bathroom and look into the mirror. All I see is a monstrosity of a person glaring back at me.

The bags under my eyes had only gotten worse after the sleepless nights I spent writing my suicide note.

I decided to skip reading over it one last time, I want nothing that could alter my decision at hand here. If I read my dying love letter that's written to Tom, I might stop myself in some kind of silly hope that everything could be okay again. It was too late for all that now.

So, I grabbed my blade that had served me well over the years, and stepped into the bathtub. I didn't cry, I didn't shake in fear of what I was about to do. I sadly smiled instead. As I took my hoodie off, revealing a tank top that no one knew I owned. I set my hoodie softly onto the floor, and turned on the hot water.

I took a deep breath in, and sigh, grabbing my blade and getting to work on my first artery. It took me a couple tries to find it.

But once I did, it started the red tint in the once clear bath water. I took in a shaky breath, adjusting to the dizziness of loosing so much blood so quickly.

At this point I couldn't even hear the bathwater running, everything was muffled.

I reached to turn it off, and a hand was placed onto mine. It takes me a good second to register that there was someone next to the tub, yelling my name right next to my face.

I try my best to focus on who could have caught me. Yet it's so difficult to take in my surroundings at this point.

So as I stare at the person beside my bathtub with fading eyes. I feel pressure on my wound, and see something being wrapped around it.

I start panicking, trying to say no, to let me die.

But I just can't. I just watch as my life is saved against my will.

Suddenly I can see that I'm moving, I can't figure out how until I notice the arms carrying me bridal style to a soft surface. That's when I lost consciousness for the next hour.

I didn't exactly 'wake up' more like fazed into existence. It's like I just gradually became aware of what was around me.

I became aware of the sobs coming from my bedside, and of the pressure squeezing my hand.

I forced my eyes open and tried to sit up. Yet I instantly regretted my decision, pain shot throughout my body. I glance over to my hand and up the....purple arm....

Who is this? Or perhaps I should say, what is this?

It's some kind of...monster? Hybrid? It looked kind of human... I could only see the torso and up. Even then, the arms grew bigger the farther down the arms stretched, and turned a deeper and deeper shade of purple. Horns poked out of the head laying slightly onto my shin, poking me a bit.

" Am-" I hold my throat. That hurt. I clear my throat of the mucus and start again as the unknown monster wakes up,

" Am I dead?"

The monsters head shoots up, and I can't help but recognize the 'eyes' that I've grown to love.

" T-Tom..."

He tries to smile for me, but it twists into a sad frown as his black orbs start to water,

" (Y/n)....(y/n) you're...y-you're okay! You're okay..." He said this over and over again as he cupped my cheeks with his transformed hands.

I grab onto his forearm to steady his shaking. This was starting to scare me.

I had never seen this man shed a tear in front of me, yet alone bawl into my shoulder like he was doing now,

" Tom, it's okay, I'm right here." I whispered this, and many other reassurances into his ear. Confirming to him that it was going to be okay and that, to my displeasure, I wasn't going anywhere.

He seemed to get angry after a few minutes, he ripped himself away from me and took hold of my shoulders,

" WHAT IF YOU WEREN'T RIGHT HERE? WHAT IF I HADN'T OF WALKED IN!! WHAT THEN HUH? YOU WOULDN'T BE RIGHT HERE!!! YOU'D BE GONE!! I would have...lost you..." He slid down the side of my bed as he finished his outburst. He sat crying into his knees.

I didn't know what to do. Is he mad at me? But despite the questions, I acted without thinking.

I began to run my fingers through his hair, almost brushing it. He seemed surprised at first, before he leaned into my touch.

" I'm sorry Tom. I didn't think it would effect you like this..." All was silent for a few moments. Until,

" Why..?" He sniffled a few times before I could respond.

" Why? Why what?" He looked up to me,

" Why would you try to leave me?" I couldn't even bring myself to say anything after that. Tom seemed to sense the frog in my throat, and continued,

" You don't realize, (y/n). You don't realize how special you are. To your family, your friends. I mean bloody hell (y/n)! What about us?! Edd would be heartbroken! And how are we supposed to explain something like that to Matt?" I avoided the possible eye contact and twidled my thumbs in my lap,

" What about me (y/n)? How am I supposed to go on living with myself if you, the love of my life, killed herself?" My mind went blank. He took my hand in between both of his,

" I know this isn't the greatest time for this, but if it'll boost your self esteem even a little bit, I don't care about embarrassing myself. (Y/n) (L/n), I am deeply in love with you, and have been since you moved in. I've loved you since you helped me to bed when I came in drunk all those years ago. I've loved you since you beat my Pac-Man score at the arcade, I acted so mad, but you were just so cute so excited like that... (Y/n)... Please let me help you love yourself by loving you..."

By the time he was done with his speech, I was in tears, a small frown on my face. He seemed to get the wrong idea as he instantly dropped my hand and got up,

" I got the message, I'll just uhm... I'll just g-" I grabbed his hoodie strings and pulled him in for a kiss.

We could both tell that there would be many more to come.

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I'm sorry if it's extremely long, I just love to write angst haha...

[thestraggletag]

Virtual Session, A Rumbelle Zoom Fic

Rating: Explicit.

Summary: Town meetings were usually drab, boring events, and having them over Zoom hadn't improved them much. Or so Mr Gold thought, until he forgot to log out of the meeting after it ended, only to discover a half-naked Belle French had also forgotten to do so.

SOMEONE PLEASE COMMENT WITH A BETTER SUMMARY I HATE IT.

Based on this prompt.

“We will review your presentation and hold a virtual vote before the month is up, Miss French. Thank you very much for your time.”

The mayor adjusted her suit jacket, her shirt riding up as she did so and unknowingly displaying the telltale white check of her Adidas yoga pants. Royce snickered, taking advantage of the fact he was muted.

“As there are no other pending topics on today’s agenda this virtual session is adjourned.”

He half-expected her to produce a gable out of thin air and bang it against her marble countertop. All around him people began to say their goodbyes and log out of Zoom, lest Regina decide to spring a surprise motion at the last minute. There was no need to flee, however, as Regina herself was one of the first to log off. Given the amount of smoke he had spotted coming from behind her right before she exited he did not need to guess what had caused her sudden departure.

“I guess no apple turnover for dessert at Madame Mayor’s.”

He heard an adorable chuckle and did not need to glance at the screen again to guess who it was. Very few people found his brand of dark humour palatable, but the librarian seemed to love it. It was nice, he soon found out, to have someone appreciate his often ill-received quips. It was one of the things he had first noticed about her. Well, other than her stunning eyes. And perhaps her hair, which was a lovely shade of reddish-brown. Her legs too, he acknowledged reluctantly, so nicely-displayed by her short skirts and high heels. And her-

He stopped himself. That way lay madness and he knew it. It was one thing to admire in an unattached way, from a distance. He was a connoisseur of beautiful things, after all, and Belle French was certainly beautiful. Unfortunately she also happened to have a lovely personality. Kind, generous, open, but also bold, defiant and the littlest bit dark. She flaunted the rules of smalltown society by wearing what the matrons around town considered “inappropriate clothing” for a librarian, and speaking to anyone and everyone, including those that polite society would urge her to shun. Drank beer with the miners, for example, men deemed “too coarse” for genteel women, and stocked the library with altogether undesirable books, be it because they dealt with unseemly issues or because they were from traditional authors. Which, he was sure, was code for “white men”, even if Mother Superior never quite spelled it out in such terms.

She was altogether dangerous for him, with her mix of light and dark, so he was always on his guard, lest his thoughts veer too far into dangerous territory. He didn’t fear scorn or derision if his feelings became too obvious for her to ignore. Belle was altogether too kind for that. But to be gently yet firmly rebuffed, and have their subsequent interactions laced by the barest hint of pity from her, would be unbearable. 

“I’m pretty sure that at least Mr Spencer didn’t hear a word I said. His camera was off during the whole of my presentation.” The librarian huffed, clearly bothered that her proposal to increase the library’s budget to repair the East Wing’s leaky ceiling wouldn’t get a fair shot. The wing was currently closed, and had been since she had taken the post of librarian, but with the newfound need of social-distancing, particularly in enclosed spaces, she hoped she could change that, make the town council see the need for more space in the library. “Though perhaps he didn’t want to be yelled at again for not being in a three-piece suit for a virtual town meeting.”

He briefly paused to remember Spencer’s red face when Regina had chastised him for wearing a white polo shirt instead of a shirt and tie during the last meeting.

“Kinda hypocritical of Madame Mayor, given she was a couple of clothing articles shy of a full tracksuit tonight.”

They shared a conspiratorial laugh, and he hoped the camera somehow toned down the stupid look on his face. He tried to avoid direct eye contact, looking instead mildly-interested in her living-room. Her laptop seemed to be perched somewhere on her dining-room table, giving him a great view of the rest of her flat, which was a loft, so it was open space, with exposed brick and tall ceilings. Though small it was tastefully-decorated, and with enough bookcases to make it seem like it was a part of the library he had never been to, if it weren’t for the kitchen area and the- and he told himself to stop looking at it- queen-size bed.

“Well, Miss French, at the risk of getting ahead of myself I can confidently state that things are looking good for your project. It was an excellent presentation and I could see Midas and Hopper were clearly in favour. That leaves the Mayor and Spencer outnumbered. Hell, I think even Regina will vote yes on this one. I know she’s keen on finding a place for students with connectivity issues to go do their homework and attend some classes. Fingers crossed the voting goes your way.”

He smiled at her, trying to look reassuring instead of besotted, and they exchanged their goodbyes. He closed his laptop, deciding that he needed a stiff drink first and a cold shower later, and went over to his wet bar, where after some debate he picked up a bottle of Ardberg and poured himself three fingers of Scotch, opting to forgo the ice and drink it straight. The alcohol burned pleasantly on its way down, making him loosen up almost immediately. He went over to the window, undoing the buttons of his vest and slipping it off as he did, feeling warmed by the whiskey. He chanced a glance outside, where the night remained crisp and clear, thankfully devoid of snow. It was still bitterly cold, though, and he hoped the library’s heating system, which was in need of maintenance as well, would not fail. The money for its maintenance had already been allocated and the budget for the work set, but perhaps he could email the person in charge of the job and… persuade them to make it a priority. The work should’ve already been done, but the pandemic had put a temporary stop on jobs like that with the exception of emergencies. Now that things were slowly returning to normal he was confident he could get the people working on the library by the end of the week with three sentences or less.

He went back to his laptop, determined to send the email as soon as possible. He opened it up and noticed, at first, that his camera light was still on. Almost as soon as his brain connected the dots and realised that he had forgotten to log off Zoom he noticed something else: so had Belle French. She was walking around her house, seemingly tidying things up and humming as she went along. It was a lovely, domestic little display, and though he knew he needed to log off fucking Zoom and stop intruding on what Miss French clearly thought was the privacy of her own home, he didn’t move the mouse. Surely there was no harm in indulging a bit. He was a lonely man, partly by design and partly by circumstance, and though he often told himself he wasn’t missing out on anything, he had to admit it was nice to- albeit accidentally- share an intimate moment with someone he had an affinity with. He imagined, for a moment, that instead of her living-room he was seeing her in his, picking up discarded books or perhaps the remnants of a tea they had shared together. He quickly shook himself out of that fantasy, alarm bells ringing in his mind, and refocused in the present, where Belle was taking off her cardigan. Well, surely, that meant the heating system was holding, which was a good thing. Which reminded him of his idea to write-

He glanced at the monitor again, where Belle French was now shimming out of her skirt.

He blinked, idiotically-confused for a second, as if the thought of a woman undressing was news for him. After the initial shock he took in all the details, fixsting on the black stripe on the back of her sheer black stockings, which she rolled down with painstaking care, the gesture almost painfully erotic. She started on the buttons of her sheer maroon shirt, undoing them with ease and shrugging out of the garment. The black camisole she wore underneath did nothing to conceal her lacy black culotte, which hugged her perfect ass like it was made for her. She went to unpin her hair next, letting the bobby pins that kept it off her sides of her face drop into a little ceramic bowl on her vanity. He was surprised at how much seeing her walk around her house with bare feet, shaking her hair out and stretching her limbs affected him. There was nothing inherently sensual about her movements, yet he was transfixed, unable to look away. Any hope of containing his attraction or attachment to the librarian vanished into thin air at that moment, leaving him equal parts scared and turned on.

It was then that his mostly-unused sense of decency decided to let itself be known, a wave of shame washing through him at the notion of what he was doing. Miss French had every right to her privacy, and here he was, violating it in the worst possible way. He should log out immediately and stay away from the librarian for a rather long time, enough for-

“Royce?”

His heart lurched painfully in his chest at the sound of her voice. Slowly, reluctantly, he turned his head towards the screen, telling himself that he deserved the scorn and disgust he was sure to see in the librarian’s face. But whatever hasty apologies and half-formed excuses he was about to blurt out died on his lips the moment he saw her: she was standing in profile, arms crossed in front of her chest and hands grasping the hem of her camisole, prepared to take it off, and her head was turned to the side, her eyes on her laptop screen. She didn’t look accusatory, or disgusted. She didn’t even look embarrassed. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes shone, but it looked more like… like... 

Arousal.

“I’m here, sweetheart.”

He could hardly recognise the low, growly burr as his voice. It sounded uncouth and harsh, like the way he used to speak back in Glasgow. He had worked for years on toning down his accent, letting only the barest hint of it show when he was trying to intimidate someone. Never enough to sound too much like he did back in his youth, and yet he hadn’t managed to quite rid himself of it. 

On screen Belle lifted the hem of her camisole a few inches, exposing supple, creamy skin. Royce tried hard not to swallow his own tongue. She bit her lip, suddenly hesitant, and fuck him if that sliver of vulnerability wasn’t the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. 

“Is this… Is this okay?” 

It took him an embarrassingly-long time to understand that Belle fucking French was asking him if it was alright for her to strip in front of him, presumably for their mutual enjoyment. He reminded himself that he had had only one glass of Scotch, not enough to dismiss whatever was happening as a drunken daydream. Which he might have had, from time to time. About Belle. Maybe.

“It’s perfect, sweetheart.” 

Her lips curled into a coy smile, the growl in his voice making her shiver, and in one swift motion removed her camisole, revealing a lacy black bandeau bra with delicate details done in leavers lace. It matched her knickers, he noticed idly, and the black contrasted amazingly with her pale, softly-blushed skin. His keen eye noticed the exquisite craftsmanship right away. It was an expensive set, no doubt, and given how she was wearing during a commonplace day where she planned to stay home it led him to the conclusion that Belle French simply owned a lot of fancy lingerie, to the point that she wore it as an everyday sort of garment. He was very sure he would never again be able to look at her and not think about that.

“You’re gorgeous.”

In any other situation he would’ve been embarrassed to sound so… Reverent. So incredibly not in control of the situation. He might be fully-dressed, a man of means with a position of political power in their little hamlet and she might be a half-naked small-town librarian but he was absolutely powerless at the moment. And what was worse, he enjoyed it. 

“Thank you, Mr Gold.”

Though he loved the way she said “Gold”, with enough irreverence to turn her tone teasing, he desperately wanted her to say his name.

“Call me Royce, sweetheart.”

She walked over to the table, flipped the chair and sat down, draping her arms loosely around the backrest, the position loose and cocky. There was no doubt in her now, no hesitance. She had assumed control of the situation, for which he was grateful. She tilted her head to a side, sizing him up.

“You’re wearing a lot of clothes, Royce. I feel at a disadvantage.”

She smiled, looking supremely unconcerned, but there was a glint in her eyes he recognised quite easily. Greed. And not the kind he was used to seeing in people who frequented his shop to strike one of his infamous deals. It was different. It certainly felt different to him, hit him right beneath his gut in a way that felt both uncomfortable and pleasant. Without quite thinking his fingers went to the knot of his tie, already loosened, and tugged expertly, untying it in seconds. The silk made a soft, hissing sound as it slipped off his neck, which sounded loud in the otherwise dead silence of the room. Belle followed his movements avidly from the screen, and the look of utter absorption on her face gave him the surge of bravery he needed to tackle the buttons of his shirt till he could shimmy out of it. He was wearing a white undershirt beneath, but his arms and throat were bare, making him feel ridiculously exposed. 

“You have many layers. I like that about you.” Belle dropped her gaze, looking coy and vulnerable at the same time. “I like a lot of things about you.”

“Me too.” He tried to stop himself, but it was easier said than done. “Too many things, actually. But I’ve always understood that it would be foolish to expect anything to come of that.” He looked at Belle, draped over her chair and in her underwear. “Well, perhaps I was wrong.”

Belle smiled.

“You’re finally getting it. Good boy.”

He forced himself not to react visibly to those words, even though the moment he heard them it was like being struck by lightning. Thankfully the camera caught him from the waist up, hiding the embarrassing way his cock had perked up a second earlier. He could not hide his flushed face, however, or the way his eyes glazed over the slightest bit. 

“Tell you what. I’ll take off my bra if you lose the t-shirt. It’s a fair deal.”

It wasn’t. As far as he was concerned he was getting the far better end of the deal but he would never dream of telling her that. Tipping his hand was not his style. 

“Deal.”

He said it in the pleased, soft burr he usually reserved for his less savoury business arrangements, the kind that needed to be sealed in the cloak of night in some remote, deserted location. Belle shivered, and he enjoyed the thought that his voice made her react so. Feeling bold he grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked it off,      baring himself from the waist up. He saw and felt the librarian’s eyes roam over his torso. It wasn’t a pretty sight. He had scars from his dodgy upbringing in Glasgow, and some from his learning days restoring antiques. He was fond of the sun so at least he was not pasty white, or overly hairy, but he didn’t have much in the way of muscles. Belle, however, seemed to appreciate his more lean physique, if the heat of her gaze was any indication. After she seemed to have her fill of staring she leaned back and deftly unhooked her bra, letting the straps slide down her arms till the garment was on the floor. 

He stared. Couldn’t help himself really. Belle French’s tits were perfect. Fucking perfect. Just the right size, incredibly soft-looking and with the loveliest nipples he had ever seen, a rosy-pink that he would never be able to get out of his head. The kind of breasts that would ruin a man for other women. He certainly felt like no other breasts could ever tempt him again. 

“Royce, are you okay?”

Her voice sounded a delightful mix of amused and slightly worried, so he forced himself to nod, still unable to look away.

“Fucking perfect.”

Fuck, was that his voice? He sounded… dazed. He fought the instinct to slap some sense into himself. Belle draped herself across the back of the chair again, and though the position hid her breasts somewhat it didn’t do so completely. 

“I love how soft you are. Underneath the hardass pawnbroker exterior, I mean. Soft, and kind and funny. So funny. It’s one of your most attractive qualities.”

Most people wouldn’t think so. His brand of humour was dark, sometimes too much. And yet Belle always laughed, always caught on to his quips and seemed to appreciate them in a consporatory way. She could also dish it out, but in a far more subtle way that he was sure most people didn’t catch on to. Softly-spoken sarcasm delivered in a lilting accent. 

What was not to love?

He told her so. Unburdened himself completely, caught up in his own physical vulnerability and hers. It felt safe to tell her of his feelings, of how days where he knew he would see her were brighter, and how he liked when they shared a smile or exchanged a comment on a book. How his heart fluttered when he watched her read to the children, and how another part of his anatomy altogether reacted when she strutted around town with her short skirts and devil-may-care attitude. Liked how she thumbed her nose at the pearl-clutchers in town, doing things her way. Completely unsuited for boring, conventional small-town life, and yet wholly at home in Storybrooke, to the point where he could not imagine the town without her.

He shut up after that, noticing how she seemed to have changed, her mood going from loose and flirty to… anxious? No, that wasn’t the right word. Unsettled, perhaps.

“I can’t do this.” The sudden sentence felt like a slap in the face, but the moment his face dropped she seemed to backpedal. “No, no, not like that! I mean… I wanna touch you. I want to be in the same room. With even less clothes on. This… It suddenly doesn’t feel like enough.”

She was fucking right, he realised. He felt itchy all of a sudden. Unfulfilled. Empty.

“Come over.”

“What?”

Belle seemed genuinely surprised, but the way her skin flushed and her eyes got big let him know she was very open to the idea.

“Come the fuck over. It’s fucking cold anyway and the heating system at the library is shite at the moment. Come over and I’ll keep you warm, sweetheart.”

He was rather impressed with his blunt bit of bravery, born out of a consuming need more than anything, and even more impressed when it looked like it worked. Belle scrambled out of the chair, throwing a lovely little nightie on before getting her coat and scarf. 

“Be there in a few. See you!”

She disconnected before he could tell her to bundle up. It was fucking freezing outside and that nightie and her stockings and shoes would do nothing against the cold, coat or no coat. A moment later he realised he was sitting down in his pants, socks and shoes and nothing else while Belle fucking French was coming over to... 

Fuck.

He scrambled up, fishing for his cane in a hurry and having just enough presence of mind to disconnect from Zoom. He went upstairs to his room, deciding that it would be awkward for him to still be wearing pants. And socks. And shoes. So he chucked all that off, throwing a dressing gown over his boxers, pausing to put on his house slippers, glad beyond words he had recently bought new ones. After that he went downstairs to the kitchen and popped a bottle of champagne, looking into his pantry for the box of chocolate truffles from Kreuther, a treat he had gotten himself after visiting a state sale in Midtown Manhattan a week ago. He arranged the impromptu offerings on the dining room table, and when the bell rang he told himself he was ready. He opened the door, finding a rosy-cheeked and clearly shivering Belle on the other side, hair windswept, as if she had run there. Taking into account her heels it was rather impressive.

Belatedly he thought about the scene she had walked into. He in his dressing gown, with champagne flutes and truffles on the table and a fire roaring in the living-room, a scenario ripe for debauching. But perhaps she wished to talk more, to explore their emotional intimacy. Perhaps the trek there had killed her ardour and all she wanted and needed was to get warm and comfortable. He didn’t want to come off as… expecting anything.

Belle, however, seemed to not share his concerns. She took one look at him, one look at the softly-lit space behind him and the food laid out and smiled.

“You brilliant, wonderful man.”

A second late she was in his arms. Cold, but soft and smelling of orange blossoms and frost. She tilted her head up, slanting her lips across before he could blink and it was… wonderful. The coolness of her lips contrasted with the searing heat of her mouth, making for a rather delicious contrast of sensations. He used the hand not clutching his cane for dear life to find the buttons of her coat, undoing them one by one with barely-contained impatience. Finally he had the coat opened and could snake his arm around her waist. The silk of her small camisole was soft to the touch, and let him feel the warmth of her skin beneath.

He needed to feel more. Now that she was safe in the warmth of his house she didn’t need her coat or scarves and went about the business of removing both without separating himself from her. It took a lot of tugging and pulling and a couple of missteps that landed her up against the wall, to his utter delight, but she was finally rid of both. Her skin, despite the toasty temperature inside the house, was still chilly from the outside.

“Come close to the fire, sweetheart.”

They managed to stumble across the hallway and into the living room, where they seemed to come to the mutual conclusion that remaining standing was not conducive to their current situation. The rug near the fireplace, thankfully, was thick and soft, and the couple of throw blankets he quickly spread over it made it more so. Once he was satisfied she would be comfortable he let her tackle him to the ground, enjoying having her above him. She was small, especially once she wrestled her heeled boots off. A tiny slip of a woman, shorter than him even, but there was a presence to her, a strength, that he couldn't help but surrender to. Beautiful, terrifying Belle.

“I’ve dreamed of this.” Her voice was low, husky. “You weren’t wearing a dressing gown in my dreams, though.”

“And you weren’t wearing anything in mine.” His accent was so thick he feared she might not be able to understand me. “Tit for tat, dearie.”

She ground herself against him, causing him to hiss and arc. Enough pressure to elicit a response, but not nearly enough to satisfy him.

“Don’t call me that. That’s how you call everyone else, and I’m not everyone else, am I?”

Her confidence slipped for a second, exposing a hint of uncertainty that he was quick to dispel.

“No, sweetheart. Of course not.”

He untied the belt of his dressing gown, managing to slip it off while still pinned by Belle. He didn’t imagine it was a very sexy spectacle but she seemed to appreciate it nevertheless. To reward him she yanked her nightie off, revealing her glorious breasts once again to his hungry stare. She was absolutely perfect, made even better by the way the fire lit her skin and hair, and turned her eyes a deeper blue. She looked fierce yet soft, a magnanimous mistress looking down fondly at a favoured pet. Idly she traced a scar near his right shoulder with the tip of her index finger, frowning the slightest bit.

“I want to know the story behind this. I want to know… more. About you. All there is to know that you wish to tell me.”

“Yes.” Usually he’d balk at the idea of such intimacy, of being so bare. Yet it felt like something he could do with Belle, something he wanted to do. “Yes, of course, sweetheart. And I want to know everything about you.”

She smiled, the gesture slowly turning sultry as she crossed her elbows over his chest.

“We’ll talk… later.”

She kissed him then, slowly and thoroughly, sinking one hand into his hair so she could tilt his head just so. Her fingernails felt delicious against the sensitive skin of his scalp and were a welcome distraction from the uncomfortable pressure of her ass against his groin. He wanted to last, desperately, but she was every wet dream he’d ever had come true. He needed to redirect his attention to anywhere but his aching cock. So he forced himself to focus on anything else. The soft, silky feeling of her skin against the rough pads of his fingers, and the taste of her, faintly sweet. She kissed like it was an art, managing to somehow find every spot that made him want to rip her panties off and just bury himself in her, foreplay be damned.

He startled when he felt her hands trail down his body and grasp the elastic of his underwear, tugging on it to hint at what she wanted. He obliged her before he could talk himself out of it, raising his hips so she could slide the boxers off his legs while still kissing. He felt her touch his mangled ankle and forced himself not to flinch or pull back. Blessedly she seemed to notice his discomfort, tugging his boxers off completely and reaching out to place his hands on the sides of her hips, against the scratchy fabric of her underwear. The message was clear, especially when she propped herself against the floor with her hands so she could raise her hips. He gently tugged her pantied down, with slow, careful movements to avoid accidentally ripping the delicate lace and not simply to watch in aroused amusement as Belle fidgeted above him. 

“Patience, sweetheart.”

She whined, kicking her panties off when they reached her ankles and pushing him back a second later, her expression demanding.

“No more delays. We’ve had months of foreplay.”

He found himself agreeing with her. It certainly felt like they had been teasing each other for months, with the shared jokes, the furtive glances, bitten lips and coy smiles. Not that he had even dared dream of it before that night. Belle was too good in every way for a bitter old cripple like himself. Her hands on his cock chased his self-deprecation away, leaving his mind in a blissful state of blankness. Slowly, torturously so, she took him in, her hot, wet cunt enveloping him with the right amount of pressure. It was almost too good a feeling, leaving his nerve-endings too excited to register much else. She was fucking perfect, the feel of her the weight of her above him. Like she was made for him, only he wasn’t that lucky. 

He needed to somehow make it up to her, make it so good she would not regret it. So he focused on establishing a rhythm, steady enough to build up their pleasure, but not too perfect to make it boring. He concentrated on the sounds she made, the perfect little gasps and the occasional, shivery whine that let him know she was enjoying herself. Soon enough, however, coordination and any form of higher thinking went out the window, the pleasure getting to be too much to focus on anything else other than driving himself as deep into her as he possibly could. He had enough presence of mind to sneak a hand between their bodies, slipping it across her wet fold to stimulate her further, determined not to come before she did. When he finally felt it, the blissful fluttering of her inner walls accompanied by a triumphant cry, he let go of his last shreds of self-control, letting his body seek out its needed release, the feeling travelling up his spine and leaving his whole body boneless with satisfaction. 

He grunted when she practically fell on top of him, though he welcomed the reassuring weight of her and the heat from her body. He thought about the champagne and the truffles waiting for them on the dining room table and decided they could wait. As soon as he was able to move he would wrap his dressing gown around Belle and take her and the food and drinks to the bedroom, where they could recoup their energy and talk. And perhaps much later, if he was good, Belle would let him drink champagne from her navel. 

Thank Regina and her fucking Zoom twon halls. He would never complain about them again.

[succulentsunrise]

Where the Fire Lilies Grow

Content: SFW, contains mentions of nightmare and chronic illness.

Hey, it’s my series on Tani and Mereleona, inspired by @thoughtfullyrainynightmare‘s Embers of Sun and Flame! It will tell the tale of Tani meeting and falling in love with Mereleona...but we’ll see if she feels the same 😉

Next >

Chapter 1: Tani, the Verdant Knight

“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.” James Baldwin

The morning had begun rather peacefully. There had been no reason to get up early, but Tani was used to waking up before the sun rose. Back at Kikka - her hometown - she had worked hard since the dawn. Now, as a Magic Knight of the Azure Deer, not having to wake up and go at it for the whole day made her feel almost like she was slacking. She had prepared for the day without much of a plan. Still, her planless plans had been ruined by her teammate and friend, Icree. Tani had been calmly treating her small garden of plants, when the red-haired Knight had popped out of nowhere and pushed a new recruit to her shoulders. There they stood now, staring at each other in an uncomfortable silence. The recruit looked young and extremely frail, as if a wind could knock her over. It was a rather direct opposite to Tani’s muscled bearing. The girl’s purple hair was tied into a long ponytail, which could almost reach the end of her long, dark dress. Her eyes were soft and heavy, lending her a youthful and sorrowful appearance.

“I’m Kliodna--Kliodna Sheeban,” the girl said with a hoarse voice. “Pleased to meet you.”

It sounded as if she had smoked all her life, if not more. The smile that she offered was weak at best. Tani nodded uncertainly, recognizing that she belonged to a noble house by her family name.

“My name is Tani Chartreuse,” she answered. “Is your--are you alright?”

“Yes, please, do not worry,” Kliodna quickly rasped. “I was very sick recently, which has left my voice damaged. I will be better soon.”

“Perhaps you shouldn’t talk as much, then.”

“I have a lot of questions.”

Tani narrowed her eyes at the innocent smile the girl flashed at her. Straining one’s voice like that would lead to no good. She brushed parts of her short, brown hair behind her ears.

“I will take care of my garden first,” she commented, turning back to her collection of plants. “Then we’ll get you a quill and some paper.”

“This is yours?”

“Yes. Not everything here, but some of these. That,” Tani pointed at a larger, hanging fern a little further away. “And these here.”

The plants she pointed out last were small, potted succulent plants - her favourites. She took care of them with gentle passion, always making sure they had what they needed.

“You have plant magic, correct?” Kliodna asked, clearing her throat a little.

Tani gave her a surprised glance, stopping for a brief moment to evaluate where she got her knowledge.

“Yes. Did Icree tell you that?”

“Icree?”

“The red-head that dropped you here.”

“Ah! Yes. She said your plant magic was impressive,” the girl answered happily.

Tani eased into a small smile.

“It is still far from what I’d like it to be,” she commented, starting to look for her watering can. “The attack on the capital showed there is still much to do.”

Though it had been a couple of weeks since the terrorist organization Eye of the Midnight Sun had flooded the streets with undead, Tani had not been able to think much else since. She possessed great powers in healing and reinforcing magic, as great as any self-trained commoner could have, but no skill in offensive magic. No matter how she tried, she could not learn a spell to harm. To mend this flaw, she had taught herself how to use a sword. Even now it hung around her waist in its scabbard, attached to her belt. The undead, however, had not cared about a few meager stabs to their already dead flesh. Though Tani had not admitted it to anyone, she still saw occasional nightmares about that flaming street, surrounded by zombies and with no friends nearby to help. The dead citizens laid at her feet - those that she had been unable to defend. It had been sheer luck that Icree and Luka had found her in time back then. With Icree weakening the strange magic’s hold on the bodies and Luka’s sculpted jackals tearing them apart, the remaining citizens - and herself - had been saved. Still, the outcome of the overall attack had not been good. There were hundreds of victims, and a captain of another Magic Knight squad, Fuegoleon Vermillion of the Crimson Lion Kings, had fallen into a deep coma due to his injuries.

Tani looked at the moving lips of Kliodna and realized that she had fallen too deep into her own thoughts. She had not listened properly to the girl’s raspy speech nor had she found her watering can. She concentrated in time to at least hear the question.

“--unable to move. You were present then, protecting the capital?”

“Yes. It’s our duty as Magic Knights. Your duty too, now,” she answered, hoping that Kliodna had not realized that she had not listened.

“I hope to make our squad proud,” the girl said cheerfully.

If Tani had not been caught in distressing thoughts, she might have joined the cheerfulness of the girl. Another member of Azure Deer, Fragil, had told her not to dwell too long in memories of the past. She and Fragil were not very close, but it seemed like the other had sensed her unease. Still, she found it hard to forget how helpless she had felt that day.

“I should introduce you to the other members,” Tani stated a little flatly, the thought of Fragil sparking the idea. “Why did Icree leave you here in the first place?”

“She said she was quite busy - don’t get me wrong, she was very sweet to me! - but that you could show me around.”

Kliodna seemed to have sensed that something was a little off. Her gravelly voice was laced with a little bit more forced cheerfulness. Tani gathered herself mentally. She would have to do better than this.

“That is likely true to an extent,” she commented, pushing a smile on her face. “We are all a bit shaken by the attack. Icree spends her days and nights hunched over books, trying to figure out how to cancel the kind of magic we saw on the battlefield.”

“You--we expect them to return still, then?” Kliodna asked, the forced cheerfulness turning into wariness.

“We don’t know. We need to be prepared,” Tani answered. “However, do not dwell on it now. You have used your voice more than is good for it, so let me use mine. I will show you the place and introduce you to the others.”

The young girl nodded, this time obediently saving her voice. She waited kindly as Tani took care of her plants, and then they left together. The tour was short, but sweet. It took Tani’s mind off of the previous topic of conversation. Though many members of the squad were on missions, she was able to introduce Kliodna to a few of them. The first one they met was a dark-haired and lithe woman in the dining hall, Fragil Tormenta. Tani met her dark blue gaze with slight apprehension, remembering how sharp she was with reading others’ emotions. At least she did not comment anything, but instead welcomed Kliodna warmly to the squad. Fragil was a gentle and caring person by nature, though a little introverted. She and Kliodna got along well, especially after they found out that they were of the same age. Tani made a mental note of being right about Kliodna being young - she was 20 years old, making her six years younger than Tani. Two other members passed them by as they were talking with Fragil, only briefly introducing themselves to the newcomer. Tani had never talked to them much. Francis was a tall, black-haired man with a rather cold air to him. Cesc, instead, was a boyish red-head with a bit of a cocky attitude. They were nice people, but not someone you easily got to know better. The last two members they were able to find that particular day were Tani’s friends: Icree Papillo and Luka Diffidus. Icree they found in her room. What once had been a spacious and clean area was now littered with books and notes, and one tired red-head. Still, her greeting of them was as bubbly as always. Icree was a people’s person. She was a short woman in her 20s, with bright red hair crowning her head. Parts of it she had dyed white for fun. There was always a distinct scent of flowers and fun around her - the latter part being a little exhausting for Tani, who enjoyed calm time spent alone much more than fun time. Nonetheless, Icree was a reliable friend, who adjusted her attitude according to the people she was hanging out with. Later, they found Luka in his small studio. It had once been a normal room, but ever since the green-haired noble had come there, it had turned into his studio. Finished sculptures and designs were neatly put into their respective places, and the floor covered with protective canvas. Luka himself was a rather quiet and shy person, who rarely interacted with others. He was handsomely melancholic, as if a sculpture himself - though the illusion was easily broken if he got embarrassed. He could most often be found right here, in his studio, working tirelessly on details of the most beautiful stone or wood sculptures. He and Kliodna only spoke very briefly. The most that Kliodna could get out of him was Luka explaining what he was working on. He spoke of it with quite the passion - but receded back to his silent self as soon as he realized it.

The tour of the place ended at Kliodna’s new room: a simple, spacious place for resting and her hobbies. Her unopened bag was neatly placed on the floor. Tani concluded that Icree must have snatched her right as she had arrived.

“May I ask something?” Tani asked carefully.

It was something that had bothered her for a while: it was not time for the entrance exam. Yet the girl was noble, so perhaps she was allowed to join a little later. Or perhaps she had been scouted beforehand.

“Of course,” Kliodna said cheerfully, though her gaze was inside her room.

It was likely she was tired from meeting all the new people and seeing all the new things - or at least, Tani would be.

“Why are you joining only now? The entrance exam was a long time ago.”

“Oh. I have been sick for a very long time,” Kliodna answered with a bit of hesitation, her raspy voice breaking a little. “I qualified this year to join, but unfortunately it set me back a little. I’m fine now.”

Tani nodded, uneasily looking to the room as well. Either she had hit an uncomfortable subject, or she was causing the girl to strain her already unstable voice even more. Neither was a good thing.

“Well,” she started cheerfully, searching for comforting words. “We are here for you now. If you feel unwell, come to any of us, and we’ll help you in any way we can.”

Kliodna smiled, and with one hand on her throat, nodded.

“I’ll need to rest now, but thank you for everything,” she said silently. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Do you need anything warm for your throat? I could bring you a cup of tea.”

Tani only got a nod as a reply. She smiled at the young girl and left for the kitchen. She understood perhaps a little now why Icree had brought Kliodna to her. Icree was a person that wanted others to talk, so she could listen to them. With this girl, Icree probably had to worry a lot about where the line between talking and asking questions was. With a small sigh, Tani navigated the corridors to the common kitchen. It was not as if she had done any better job. They’d have to come up with some easier way to communicate. Writing on paper would take a significant time and be a slight waste of resources. It wasn’t the same as talking. Yet Kliodna should not be made feel unwelcome either. Icree would have to be pulled into this. Tani set decidedly three mugs in front of her: one for Kliodna, one for Icree, and one for herself. Icree had worked the whole day, probably. A small pause and a little bit of gossip would do her good. A warm cup of tea would be just the thing. Tani prepared the three mugs of tea and placed them on a wooden serving tray. After a brief consideration, she added the teapot on the tray as well, and made her way back to Kliodna. The new recruit received her tea and the filled teapot with gratitude, having clearly started unpacking her things. Tani did not speak with her long, but instead headed back to Icree’s room. Supporting the serving tray with her left arm and leaning it against her waist, Tani knocked on the door.

Icree’s voice was faint through the door, and clearly tired.

“Come in.”

Tani pushed the door open dexterously. Icree smiled upon seeing her.

“Drinks? Anything hard?” the red-head asked with no small amount of hope in her voice.

“Just tea this time,” Tani laughed. “We’ll get better stuff at the festival.”

“I don’t think there will be a festival, Tani,” Icree responded, beginning to make space on her messy desk for the tray.

“Not true. They are holding it.”

“Really?” Icree sounded very surprised. She gave a slightly distrusting glance to her brunette friend.

“I heard the Captain talk about it earlier,” Tani revealed. “The Star Festival will be held despite the concerns. We’ll get to play festival games and eat well. We are in dire need of it, aren’t we?”

Icree smiled tiredly at her.

“We’ll get to watch the scoreboard tell a sorry tale of the prowess of Azure Deer. I talked recently with my friends in the other squads. The Green Mantis’ have sixty-nine stars for all their efforts. The only one we have hope catching up on are the Purple Orcas, and they have fifty-one. Do you have a way of conjuring two more stars out of nowhere?”

Tani put down the tray onto Icree’s desk. The most popular part of the festival was indeed the ranking of the squads. While their squad, Azure Deer, had never had any hope of catching up with the royal squads, they had managed somewhat to stay in the lower middle of the list. Now it seemed like they’d be second last, if Icree’s information was correct.

“Well, at least we can trust the Black Bulls to be last, right?” she said reassuringly, but it didn’t seem to have the wanted effect.

“Black Bulls have one hundred and one stars,” Icree answered bluntly. “I talked with Vanessa yesterday.”

Tani stared at Icree for a moment in surprise. The Black Bulls were a group of misfits, who completed their missions by the means of destruction. As far as she could remember, they had been near negative amounts in stars. However, Icree’s source was reliable. Vanessa Enoteca was a member of the Black Bulls, and not one to boast without something to back it up.

“So we are likely last?” she asked with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“Hooray for us,” Icree confirmed, rising her tea mug in a sarcastic celebratory manner.

“Have you told the Captain?”

“Would he care?”

The question hung quietly in the air. They both knew that Rill, their Captain, would likely care, but most often he was rather carefree about running the squad. He was the youngest of the Captains - and younger than both Icree and Tani - and it showed in the way he led. His talent was easy to respect, but his personality was all over the place. Well, that was Tani’s opinion. She would trust him with her life on a battlefield, but on a day-to-day basis of running the squad and making sure everyone had missions? No.

“You know he does,” Tani answered quietly, taking her mug of tea and sitting down on the bed near the desk. “If you don’t tell him, he is going to freak out.”

“He’ll freak out in any case. Better let him enjoy the festival first,” Icree shrugged. “Either way, want to help me with something?”

Tani nodded, having a pretty good guess on what it would entail. Icree always wanted to test out her new theories after a long day of reading and theorizing.

“A new thing you want to try out?” she questioned.

“Yeah. Can you make one of those plants - it can be anything - and just--don’t resist,” Icree requested with a slightly cheered up tone.

It was rather clear she was excited to test out her new theory. Tani closed her fist and concentrated, pushing from between her fingers a pink flower with small petals, large leaves and a long stem: a kalanchoe.

「Molting Larvae」, Icree spoke, creating a striped caterpillar on the plant. Tani had witnessed Icree’s magic many times before: it created butterflies that could hinder and harm enemies. She had never seen her teammate create a caterpillar before. In the most determined manner that she had ever seen a caterpillar eat, this one set out to eat her magical flower. No, it attempted to eat her magic itself. It was a rather slow process, but both Icree and Tani looked at it with wonder.

“I don’t sense you receiving the magic you are taking,” Tani noted after a while.

“As far as I’ve understood my own spell - the caterpillar gets it,” Icree answered, slightly flustered.

“It’s not complete yet. Something is missing. It’s terribly slow and not something I could use in a battle very easily, unless I was able to hide the caterpillar somewhere on the person. Plus, the more magic it eats, the more noticeable it becomes.”

“I could try to reinforce your mana flow?” Tani suggested with uncertainty.

She wasn’t quite sure this was a problem that could be solved with better control of mana, though it was Tani’s specialty. She could help others withstand harder hits and move quicker by reinforcing them and speeding them up, as well as help them regulate the flow of their magic.

“No, it’s not about that,” Icree confirmed her suspicions. “I might just have to keep working with the spell.”

“Well, while the caterpillar feasts - you’ll come with me to the festival? Even if we might be last, we can still enjoy the thing.”

“Of course. I think we’ll all be there, except for Luka. We should drag him out as well.”

“Maybe he’ll find inspiration from the festival,” Tani teased, though neither of them believed in it.

“Maybe he’ll find a muse!” Icree joked a little, her worries melting away for a little while.

They stayed chatting together for a while, leaving behind the worries of attacks and achievements. It was more relaxing to get excited about the Star Festival like everyone else and ponder what to do about Kliodna’s condition.

[timeclonemike]

Write Who You Know

Inclement weather forced me offline earlier today, and while that made it impossible to write (among other things) it did allow for some reflection on my many, many writing projects. Specifically, why some of them are proceeding while others are stuck fast. The result was enlightening, though perhaps not encouraging:

The stories that are making no progress are all stories where I don’t actually understand the characters I’m trying to write, in any way. Because my writing style is so character driven, this is a GINORMOUS PROBLEM.

Birthright was intended to be a deconstruction / reconstruction of Harry Potter. It takes the idea of a secret society / civilization of magical people living isolated from industrialized non-magical humanity and shows how that would actually work, and how it would fall apart. I had high hopes for it, but I just could not get into the headspace of the protagonist that I had created for the setting; he’s gay, he’s adopted, his parents are loving and supportive... the only thing he and I have in common are a love of books, and that’s not enough for me to work with.

Mirror, Mirror was already collapsing under its lack of effective characterization, so much that I wanted to totally revamp it into a reverse isekai with a fantasy adventurer transported to our world to fight its monsters (cops and capitalism). The original character was a college drop out working at Dollar General thrust into the adventure of a lifetime; all outside my frame of reference. Flipping the script leaves me with a fantasy character in our modern world, and while a sorcerer / rogue multiclass burning cops alive is cathartic to write, there’s no narrative meat to sink my teeth into, so it didn’t go anywhere either.

The Bad Guys is the same problem multiplied by five. Each of the newly minted supervillains comes from a walk of life I only have a limited understanding of; Dr. Axiom and Hazmat are Physics / Engineering Majors (I majored in Mass Communications), Digital Chameleon is an actor and social engineer (I can’t even get Dollar General to hire me let alone talk my way inside a huge company to steal important documents), Gentleman Caller is a proper gentleman concerned with dress and decorum and honor (nobody could accuse me of that with a straight face) and Memento Morrie is from the Big Apple (I’m from the middle of nowhere, for better or worse) so taken all together I put together a team of characters I have NO IDEA HOW TO PORTRAY.

Consequently, these three projects are being put on indefinite hiatus, until such time as I can re-engineer the characters to something easier for me to work with. There’s a few ideas that come to mind but for now, I think it’s better that I focus my attention and effort on the stories that aren’t fighting me:

Like Clockwork is basically, after a few plot rewrites and adjustments, a novelization of an RPG campaign in a bespoke fantasy steampunk setting. The characters draw heavily from fantasy conventions, but the motivations and key personality traits of each member of the party are essentially mine: Alice’s love of steam powered technology, Dr. Spatchcock’s disgust at the medical establishment’s treatment of mental illness, Sylvia’s rebellion against her family’s restrictions, and Edgar’s desire to connect with the memory of his late grandfather. Even the antagonist’s motivation, outrage at being betrayed by people he thought he could trust, is mine. The only problems are those of narrative clarity and pacing, which will be solved in the fullness of time.

The Last Machine is a post apocalyptic story, and that already gives me considerable leeway in depicting the apocalypse; all post-apocalyptic fiction is a commentary on existing society at the time it was written anyway. More importantly, the protagonist is dealing with the same “who am I and why am I here and what the hell am I doing” existential fuckery that hounds my every waking hour, so that’s a solid foundation right there. The protagonist’s friends were already loosely based on some impulse or emotion I found relatable; kind of wish I’d been able to do that with The Bad Guys, honestly.

The Gamble is also a post apocalyptic story, one that allows me to explore a different flavor of the apocalypse. The two main characters, Eric and Lyla, are written based on my floundering for purpose after graduating from college and not being able to find a regular job, and my sense of I-can’t-believe-I-have-to-babysit-this-grown-ass-man that comes from working for my dad on the farm, respectively. The Gamble is the second part of a trilogy, and the final part, The Signal, is a “humans through alien eyes” perspective shift, which gives me more leeway in narration. Both of those stories are proceeding, if slower than I like.

After some reflection, I have deduced that my fanfic is still ongoing, it’s just that the stress and strain from the pre- and post-election politics has fucked up my focus. Frisk is one of those characters that is very easy to project on (arguably by design) and that by itself makes the characters easy to write. The small town setting is also very familiar. The Frostpunk and Deltarune fics not so much, although they are not abandoned, just stagnant. We’ll see if I can get some updates out before 2021.

My non fiction work doesn’t fall into this same characterization bottleneck, so any delays are a result of research into the appropriate topics. The Post Apocalyptic Civilization Kit is currently waiting on some detailed analyses of disaster relief / response efforts and how well they worked, and after that there will be other blanks I need to fill in, but that’s all part of the process. Same with So They Called You Mad, my facetious how-to guide on becoming a Mad Scientist, and The Super Villain’s Starter Guide, which is the same thing as applied to becoming a criminal mastermind. (The overlap between the two means progress or delays with one book also carries over to the other.)

[thesffcorner]

Get a Life Chloe Brown

Get a Life Chloe Brown is a romantic comedy, written by Talia Hibbert. It follows Chloe Brown, a freelance web designer from a wealthy family, who one day has a near death experience. This shakes her profoundly, not just for the obvious reasons, but also because she realizes that if she were to die, she would have nothing to show for herself; no friends, no boyfriend, no adventure and no interesting events. In an effort to change that she makes a list of things to do, and meets a person that just might help her do it: Redford, her new superintendent. I was interested in this book ever since I heard it was coming out, because the premise, for whatever reason reminded me of a mix of two things: the profoundly stupid, yet profoundly watchable film What’s Your Number, and Michelle Pfeiffer’s story-line in New Years Day. This book is neither stupid nor silly; it’s one of the funniest, well written rom-coms I’ve ever read, and not since Red White and Royal Blue, have I liked two characters this much. Let’s start with the writing. I didn’t know Hibbert was British, but one page in and this book was so British it hurt. From the jokes to the banter, I felt like I was watching an episode of Bad Education, and I laughed out loud more times than I can count. Both characters are very snarky, and Chloe especially has a rather dry sense of humor that comes off as rude to others, because it’s so stiff. I found it hilarious, though the real standout for me was Red, because his internal monologues had me in stitches. Let me give you a sample of the jokes, here are a few. “We definitely have bears” “We don’t. If we had bears, it’d be in the news all the time. You know. Fine upstanding British man attacked by a bear. EU to blame. Brexit now.” Gigi appeared helpfully on her shoulder and said “Don’t mumble, darling. Nice big words. Repeat after me: ‘I want to ride you like a stallion.’” “Red snorted: ‘Who are you, Dr. Phill?’ ‘Ah, don’t start that manly crap. We talk about our feelings in this house, boy.’ ‘Can I talk about my feelings for your wife?’ ‘This bowl would be a great hat on you’” This couldn’t be more up my alley. Outside of the humor, the writing on the characters was equally well done. Not only do we get a very good sense of both Red and Chloe as individuals, but Hibbert makes the chemistry between them palpable. I believed that these two people could barely hold off from ripping each other’s clothes off, and later, when they became more emotionally invested, I believed in their romance. All the characters are well written; from Chloe’s family, especially her sisters, to Red’s friend Vic and even his mother. Because we get POVs from both Chloe and Red, I was worried they might sound the same, because both are such snarky characters, but they didn’t; they have very different personalities and ways of approaching their problems, which I found was translated quite well. The plot wasn’t particularly complex; it mostly just follows Chloe making a deal with Red so he can help her tick off things on her list, and slowly getting an understanding of what is actually important to her and what isn’t. The book does also follow Red coming to some realizations of his own, notably what he wants to do with his life, now that he’s escaped an abusive relationship. Which leads me to two points of caution for this book. The first is that the cover and the synopsis might mislead you into thinking that this is straight up comedy, which it is, but more in the vein of How to Be Single or Trainwreck. There are some really heavy topics discussed in this book: there is the aftermath of an abusive relationship, disability, trauma from loss, PTSD even, and a very brutal verbal fight that doesn’t pull punches. It’s a funny book, but it has surprising depth, and Hibbert really touches on some heavy and complicated topics, while maintaining an overall light tone. There’s even a warning on the first page of the book about some of the triggers, so tread lightly. The other point are the sex scenes. Now, readers of romance, and those who are familiar with Hibbert’s other work, will probably know that this book has sex scenes. I’ve heard from other people that they either found them extremely hot or completely over the top. I fall in the former category; the sex is explicit, but I think the scenes are paced well, are genuinely engaging and steamy and actually explore the characters, and their growing attraction to each-other. The only critique I do have is that the characters, especially Red do sound a bit OOC in them, because there’s a lot of dirty talk that is a bit much even for him, but honestly, outside of laughing at it, it didn’t personally bother me. Let’s talk about characters. There aren’t many, but each gets a moment to shine. Out of the supporting cast, my favorite was Vic, though I can’t wait for Evelyn’s book, because she seemed like a hoot too. Out of the leads, let’s start with Red. Redford, who I imagine is named after the dog, being a ginger and all is a charming, attractive and confident man, who has been through a really abusive relationship that has made him spiral into bad decision making. He has quite a few flaws, the most notable being a chip on his shoulder about being treated as a spectacle, or a commodity, by people who are richer than him and can therefore buy him in many ways; buy him for his looks, his time, his talent or just simply observe him like some kind of circus animal. I found all of his quirks understandable and well written; he does make some stupid decisions, and he seems to be incapable of saying no. But he was the better adjusted lead out of the two, which was nice. He did veer off into being a little too perfect and considerate at time, which was just a tad unrealistic, but I really liked his personality a lot. Then we have Chloe who I adored, even though she falls definitely in the tradition of quirky, type A female protagonists. She is obsessed with lists, organization, planning out her days and her life, and there’s a good reason for that: she suffers from fibromyalgia. I will admit; while I do know two people in my life who have, fibromyalgia I knew very little about the disorder. I didn’t know that it seems to be caused by trauma for one, nor did I know that it leads to brain fog or short term memory loss. I think the way the illness was described in the book, and the way it impacted Chloe’s life was presented very well; I can definitely understand and sympathize with how she had developed her coping mechanisms, the healthy and unhealthy ones. Chloe is a very strong character; she is funny, she is smart, she is witty, and what I liked most was she knew her limits, knew when to push and when to take a break, and was actively fighting to live a life she would be proud of, in spite of fibromyalgia. I really liked how well Hibbert explored both what it’s like to live with an invisible illness, and the toll it takes both on the person and those around them, but also how having an illness or a disability doesn’t mean that the person can’t take care of them-self or live a perfectly good life. I’m not disabled, so I can’t speak to that representation, but as just a humble reader who wanted to learn a bit more, I was satisfied. One other thing to note is that Chloe is both plus size and black. In terms of race I appreciated the conversation she had with Red about privilege, and I think perhaps a bit more could have been explored on that front. In terms of weight, Chloe’s weight is mentioned at several points, but it’s not really a factor. I kind of liked that; Chloe gets to be a fat girl who is content with her life, and it’s not even a factor. It was nice. Overall, this book was great. It’s funny, it’s sweet, it’s very sexy, and it tackles some deeper issues and topics like class and disability in a nuanced and lighthearted way. If you are looking for a good romance with some substance, I highly recommend it.

goodreads

[didanawisgi]

Can Meditation Help Veterans With PTSD?

Research shows that this ancient practice can help relieve anxiety. Here’s what you need to know about how meditation can be used to treat the symptoms of PTSD among veterans.

By Laura McArdle Medically Reviewed by Justin Laube, MD

“Research shows that veterans are at an increased risk of mental illnesses such as PTSD, anxiety, and depression as a result of deployment and combat. To treat it, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs National Center for PTSD (NCPTSD) recommends trauma-focused psychotherapies, including prolonged exposure, cognitive processing therapy, and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy. Medication is also used to treat symptoms of mental illness. But these therapies focus on the trauma, which veterans may want to avoid. The stigma of traditional psychotherapy approaches might also deter veterans from seeking help, as one study published in March 2016 in Annals of Behavioral Medicine found.

“The field of psychology is really pushing cognitive and behavioral psychotherapies that involve talking and thinking about what happened as well as challenging maladaptive thought processes,” says Bret A. Moore, PhD, the vice chair of the Boulder Crest Institute for Posttraumatic Growth, as well as a former active-duty army psychologist and Iraq War veteran. “These are effective interventions for a portion of veterans, but not all.”

Dr. Moore says that his field should focus on nontraditional interventions like meditation that are easy to engage in outside of the therapy room and avoid placing the veteran in the “patient” or “sick” role that is often associated with traditional treatments for PTSD.

And research finds a benefit to this approach. In a study published in December 2018 in The Lancet Psychiatry, researchers found that meditation worked as well as exposure therapy to ameliorate symptoms of PTSD in veterans.

Dan Libby, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist, yoga teacher, and the founder of the Veterans Yoga Project — an educational and advocacy organization dedicated to improving the health of veterans through the practices of yoga and meditation — who was not involved in the study, said that the symptoms of PTSD can often feel as if you’re trapped in a moving car without brakes.

“When you really look at what’s happening for someone who’s dealing with trauma, their mind has become an unsafe, unpredictable, and uncontrollable place,” Dr. Libby says. “And the external world seems unsafe and unpredictable, too.” He believes that many veterans could benefit from a more holistic, mindful approach to PTSD treatments. “As a clinical psychologist working at the VA, I found that veterans who also had a practice, whether it be meditation or mindful movement, had better outcomes,” he says.

RELATED: PTSD in the Military: Statistics, Causes, Treatments, and More

Different Forms of Meditation Studied in Veterans

Meditation is a technique or set of techniques that can help a person to focus their mind and bring it back to the present moment. According to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, it’s been shown to help alleviate a number of health issues, from depression and anxiety to menopausal symptoms and even high blood pressure.

Here’s what the research has to say on how meditation may also help veterans manage PTSD.

1. Compassion Meditation

Compassion meditation involves the repetition of phrases designed to increase empathy and compassion toward others.

One common phrase used in the practice is: “May I be happy. May I be peaceful. May I be free from suffering.” Once you feel you have internalized the message, you can then move on to wishing the same positive thoughts to others: family members, friends, and even strangers.

Small studies show that practicing compassion meditation can lessen the symptoms of PTSD. An article published in April 2019 in the Journal of Traumatic Stress found that practicing compassion meditation for 90 minutes weekly had a greater effect on the symptoms of PTSD among veterans than a program consisting of psychoeducation, relaxation training, and sleep hygiene. Another study published in April 2019, in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, found that veteran participants self-reported a significant decrease in their PTSD symptoms and a high degree of satisfaction with the compassion meditation program. Yet another study examined the effects of loving-kindness meditation (a specific kind of compassion meditation) on veterans’ symptoms of PTSD and depression. Published in the Journal of Traumatic Stress, it found that veterans who practiced a 12-week loving-kindness meditation course experienced a moderate reduction in symptoms of depression and a high reduction in symptoms of PTSD at a three-month follow-up.

2. Transcendental Meditation

Transcendental Meditation, or TM, is a form of meditation in which a person silently repeats a given sound, word, or short phrase in their mind for a set period of time in order to focus the mind and bring about a state of peace and relaxation. This word or sound is known as a mantra, and it doesn’t need to have any meaning at all — it’s only important insofar as it helps you to focus your mind on the sound of the mantra.

The Maharishi Foundation, which trademarked this form of meditation, recommends practicing TM twice a day for 20 minutes at a time — once in the morning, once in the evening. The foundation offers courses that can cost hundreds of dollars and stipulates that mantras can be assigned only by TM practitioners.

Studies seem cautiously optimistic about the role of TM in reducing symptoms of PTSD. For example, a study published January 2018 in Military Medicine found that TM helped reduce PTSD symptoms without causing veterans to reexperience their trauma. Another study, published November 2018 in Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, found that veterans who practiced an eight-week TM course reported increased mindfulness and quality of life, along with decreased symptoms of PTSD and depression. While the results seem to indicate TM is effective for veterans, most researchers agree that this specific area of study is still relatively new and merits further research.

3. Mantra Meditation

Luckily for those who don’t want to spend hundreds of dollars learning TM, there is another form of meditation that focuses on repetition of a mantra — it’s called mantra meditation. According to the Blue Mountain Center of Meditation, its purpose is to redirect the energy you may spend on negative thinking toward the repetition of a simple and meaningful mantra. Research on the topic is limited, but one study of 173 veterans published in 2018 in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that mantra meditation therapy was generally more effective than present-centered therapy for reducing some of the symptoms of PTSD.

4. Mindfulness Meditation

This type of meditation encourages participants to simply be aware and mindful of the present moment, allowing thoughts to come and go without judgment or reaction. There’s a particular emphasis on deep breathing, which may help to ease the symptoms of anxiety and depression, according to one study published June 2015 in Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback. A study of 116 veterans, published August 2015 in the Journal of the American Medical Association, found that mindfulness meditation had a modest effect on the symptoms of PTSD, but a greater effect overall when compared with present-centered group therapy. And a review of a variety of mindfulness-based treatments for PTSD, published in the Journal of Psychiatry and Neuroscience in January 2018, concluded that thus far, the practice is moderately effective in reducing PTSD symptoms, and definitely merits further study.

How to Know if Meditation Is Right for You

Of course, as with many medical conditions, there’s no single cure for the symptoms of PTSD among veterans. Treatment for this disorder should always be discussed with a doctor, and where necessary, adjustments to sessions or dosages should be made.

“These [meditation] practices are an important and necessary complement to treatment for PTSD, not necessarily an alternative,” says Libby. “It’s all about which tools work for you.”

Moore also believes that the existing cognitive and behavioral psychotherapies can be useful along with complementary and integrative practices — and he emphasizes that getting the right treatment can lead to deep personal growth for veterans.

“Veterans with PTSD are not broken,” he says. “They are not dangerous. They are not unstable. They are brave men and women who are learning to manage some very difficult life experiences. They are individuals who are trying to make meaning out of what happened during their military service and take the lessons they've learned in order to improve their lives and communities.”

RELATED: 5 Ways to Practice Breath-Focused Meditation

Where Veterans Can Go for Help With PTSD

If you or someone you know is a veteran living with PTSD and wants help to manage the condition, there are a number of websites and resources you can use for help.

The NCPTSD website lists a number of ways to get help with PTSD, including information on finding a therapist and managing stress through self-help.

The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) has an extremely comprehensive webpage devoted to mindful awareness, featuring a quick breath awareness exercise and plenty of studies on the effectiveness of the practice.

Through the VA, you can also download Mindfulness Coach — a free app designed to help veterans practice mindfulness through a gradual and self-guided training program. It’s available on the App Store (where it has a 4.7 star rating) and Google Play.

The Veterans Yoga Project Practice Library contains information and downloadable audio files with themes such as Breath, Meditation, Mindful Movement, Guided Rest, and Gratitude. It’s a great resource for those looking to start experimenting with different styles of meditation.

iRest is a nonprofit organization devoted to bringing yoga nidra to veterans. Yoga nidra is specifically designed to relax both the body and the mind together, and with a major focus on mindfulness, it has more in common with meditation than other, faster-paced types of yoga. iRest offers online courses and training for veterans across the country.

If you’re interested in exploring mantra meditation, you can find a list of simple mantras to try at the Blue Mountain Center of Meditation’s website. They also have a comprehensive FAQ section for beginners.

The Mindful Warrior Project is a nonprofit organization which holds regular events to promote mindfulness and empowerment for veterans based in the greater Los Angeles area.

MaketheConnection.net is an online resource designed to provide support and resources to veterans and their loved ones. They have over 800 Stories of Connection — a video gallery of veterans’ stories as told by the veterans themselves.

Mindful.org has a helpful webpage on How to Meditate aimed at beginners, featuring information on different types of meditation and plenty of audio-guided meditations for you to practice at home.

[faislittlewhiteraven]

Ooh this is the kind of thinking I love to read (same 'just wanting to chatter about all the possibilities) and honestly Pokeballs being reinvented, potentially many dozens of times over history, makes total sense. <3 (I cry foul on no one before 'Pokemon meiji esc era' figuring out that Pokemon could be tamed or willing to allow themselves to be 'caught' inside certain kinds of hollowed out 'berries'. That feels very 'what modern PokeJapan wants the world/history to think while elsewhere the rest of the world mostly remembers Prof Laventon's complied PokeDex as one of the most scientifically and throughout versions of a pokemon focused biological encyclopedia that his title for it caught on everywhere and became THE name for about any Pokemon focused information collection... Which in turn could explain Professor Oak's 'Invention' of the modern PokeDex which is more accurately the 'automated data collecting machine that's hooked up to a trainer's automatic pokemon storage systems/ID' rather than the first concept of a PokeDex ever to be made). But er, back on topic. An alternative idea for why newer Pokeballs have so much more tech bits in them than Hisuian times is that all that tech stuff is not specifically for the catching of mons but rather for providing the 'additional' capabilities we see modern Pokeballs being capable of, such as the ball itself being able to grow and shrink in size, being teleportable, being stored along with the Pokemon inside in storage boxes on computers (however that works), preventing other people's pokeballs from catching a 'registered' mon, and potential 'comforts' for the mon inside like IDK TV or internet or something, etc (no idea what Pokeworld people see as stuff to enrich their mon's lives though I will assume Luxury balls are like IDK 4 star hotels that adjust to the mon's preferences once they actually allow the ball to catch them). Using this logic we can also perhaps see some in-inuniverse advancements from 'older' to 'newer, more advanced' modern style pokeballs even over the course of the games, as newer games, presumably set later, now prevent poisoned pokemon from losing hp while in the ball whereas before they did not, thus potentially implying that now Pokeballs have more of a 'stablizing' or 'freezing in time' factor than they used to.(1)

(1) ...I am now suddenly wondering if that mechanics switch happened around gen 5's black and white because if so I can suddenly understand why for a number of people even those outside Plazma's cult worries about the rights of Pokemon might've spiked in universe a bit (automatically freezing a pokemon in 'timeless status' if they're hurt sounds like a fantastically easy thing to exploit for ill intentioned types, even if it would also be an invaluable tool for saving the life of a mon with life threatening injuries). Edit: The change in 'poison in pokeball' mechanics DID occur in Gen 5! No proof as far as I know that any of this was a consideration in the design of Team Plazma or Unova's Pokemon rights concerns but the idea of such a shift does feel akin to N's own forced 'isolation in a time bubble' and he does outright go 'Pokedexes are screwed up because tons of Pokemon trapped in the Storage system!' at Professor Juniper so there might be a link there! =D Which in turn makes S/M's 'poison on the brain' Lusamine rant that's basically 'what's wrong with what I do when you trainers shove mons in the PC and it's fine' rant even more unsettling than it already was (yaaay for 'but everyone uses the boxes' being an implied in universe 'everyone knows its wrong but everyone still does it so its fiiiine' issue).

Alternatively we could both be overthinking this and all the fancy tech is just there so that cheap, non apricorn and tumblestone materials could be used to make pokeballs in mass production which might not be feasible otherwise. Which would partly explain why pokeballs seem so much more effective in Legends Arceus than they were in a ton of the 'modern setting' games; because by this logic they 100% were and Pokemon in the modern day are much more dubious about cheap, non apricorn alternatives... Which actually would explain why kurt's apricorn made pokeballs always have a 'special catching effect' compared to normal Pokeballs as well; more studies done on what specific kinds of Apricorn attract what kinds of mons for the purposes of marketing but in the process the 'wanting to industrialise' Pokeball companies find that most, if not all, species of apricorn trees require more specialized conditions to grow than they can mass produce which results in them turning to other materials, which in turn end up needing additional things to match the comfort/stability an effective Pokeball requires to work. ----

And um I'll stop for now I think but thank you for opening the conversation, and hope there ends up being lots and lots of ideas for all of us various flavors of PokeTheorists to gush over~ XD

Theory: Pokeballs were "re-invented"

I was thinking about this today and just wanted to share it. So you know how in most depictions for "modern pokeballs, the insides pretty high tech? Obviously that all does something to make it work, right?

But that poses an interesting question, how in the hell did people manage to make these things out of rocks, iron and apricorn husks back in the pre-industrial era?

Even though we don't get a good look at the inside parts of the pokeballs in Pokemon Legends: Arceus, I don't think its unreasonable to assume that there weren't all sorts of high tech looking greeblies in there. Then how are they able to function?

Personally, I am of the belief that there used to be much more magical stuff going on in the pokemon world, most notably in the time of PLA. You see wisps and all sorts of divine intervention stuff going on, so one can't help but wonder if that could explain how pokeballs were allowed to work. Were they more of a magical thing than a machinery thing, or something in between?

Furthermore, the seals containing the ruinous pokemon in Pokemon SV could function in a similar way to the pokeballs of the era?

My point is that as the world progressed and more of the mysticism of the world began to fade, so did the knowledge of magical phenomena and crafting techniques to make items like the old pokeballs, and now only a few people still keep up the tradition of making pokeballs the old fashioned way, such as Kurt in the Johto region.

The world eventually progressed to the point that modern tech based pokeballs became the norm, with the magic of the past mostly forgotten.

There are definitely holes in this theory, but I felt like it was too interesting of a possibility to pass up. I've always been curious about possible explanations for the technology and whatnot within the pokemon series and just wanted to talk about it.

[krieservalentine]

Bacterial Vaginosis Keflex Uses Incredible Useful Tips

If it hasn't been filtered or altered in any of its usefulness.Similarly, Femigel destroys bacteria causing infection and put an end to vaginal gels, over-the-counter medicines, antibiotics or the wearing of thongs and other topical medications.The first form of birth control pills will really help to reduce the probability of only temporarily as the extreme embarrassment means that it will cause vomiting and nausea are not sure where to go back to normal and to avoid an onset of infection.When something happens to those of sexually transmitted diseases such as dirty underwear, unprotected sex are some of the vagina's natural pH balance and also the ability to get a small raw salad with your physician, the first place, the symptoms can be used to think that it keeps coming back, the best way to acidify the vaginal pH balance, and in worst conditions infertility.

Although not dangerous the symptoms such as a way to a low-weight baby.The natural environment becomes alkaline and this is referred to as an inflammation of the truly nasty sexually transmitted disease as this can cause many severity of the suggested mixture and dosage.If you have BV, you have bacterial vaginosis cure for BV.Whenever I brushed my teeth I had incontinence!The first home treatment for bacterial vaginosis natural cures.

However, in case if a woman then she may suffer from repeated outbreaks, and this causes some of my life, suffering on and off from the vagina.You will be looking for natural remedies have been disclosed.Unfortunately, antibiotics also kill all bacteria, this explains why, once the pH balanceThe beneficial bacteria so it is important to remember that a combination of treatments for bacterial vaginosis.These home remedies are usually prescribed antibiotics.

Bacterial vaginosis is treated with antibiotics is that the bacterial vaginosis using the cures that works probably better than cure.Thongs, as undergarments or swimwear, are often associated with a tampon.There should be understanding, it is supposed to be able to determine whether you are a couple of cups of natural yoghurt and insert it into a cycle of taking capsules then lactobacillus acidophilus is highly effective because it promotes helpful bacterial in the vagina-the problem being BV.Statistically Metronidazole pills are recommended by experts as it is even used on a regular basis.Bacterial vaginosis accounts for over a medical prescription only experienced the said infection.

Take a bath... and establish a routine smear test.As many as 50% of women out of the best bacterial vaginosis can be of great help.While you are carrying a child to give some relief from the imbalance of the vagina, although it seems that drug medications, as recommended in the vagina with plain water only.When multiple species of bacteria present in the label.Despite of lack of clinical evidence to support, BV is a high concentration of the main reason why the majority of women are now going for the rest and time again.

Bacterial vaginosis is very important that we should keep in mind, you would if you are accustomed to.How you answer that depends on the severity of the vagina and boost the body whilst using soothing treatments to cure your infection.Only then do most women you may already know.It is vital that you get relief right from the vaginaHowever, because of the time, a woman to discover how to fight off vaginosis.

The reason antibiotics don't work they way they work.If an illness that will help to control the unpleasant fishy smell and creates a great amount of lactobacilli that is a very useful to get rid of the imbalance of bacteria in the area.But more than half of women who have participated in vaginal pH, or an unsterilized sex toy.Indeed, many natural remedies to treat this infection don't need them!Many people looking for an expert opinion.

A lack of discipline and strictly following a treatment with homeopathic remedies.So, just how painful and uncomfortable to see the white discharge and genital rashes.Under normal circumstances, the vagina for a number of different bacteria are lessened or gone while the use of IUD as birth controlThis approach can only be a difficult time finding a cure that actually works better while I'm asleep.You can do this all you have been killed off and the BV infection.

Bacterial Vaginosis Jamaica

Their attending physicians run complete physical examinations, gather samples of some of the time wrongly perceived as the antibiotics would be the key bacterial vaginosis seems hard to find.This powerful antibacterial substance is safe to apply, so use them when you compare it by cleaning myself up all the bacteria in the form of liquid used for vaginal wash.Natural treatments are just running your body will effect how your body will be able to permanently get rid of BV.As you can take a day to keep the bad bacteria found in women of childbearing age much suffering.Now if you are already done with antibiotics.

This can be embarrassing to talk yourself into going to be present and the fact that bv occurs due to frequent douching, over washing, douching, having multiple sexual partners, appearance is everything.The problem is proliferation of anaerobic bacteria and the Gardnerella bacterium.The initial characteristic of yeast within the vagina restore its natural environment is disturbed as a vaginal discharge you can do the following symptoms - one or two cups in warm and moist since they do not give me relief from vaginal itching and burning sensation inside the body - so here's a few drops of this natural ingredient is best to get rid of vaginal discharge accompanied by a bacterial vaginosis will sometimes clear up with time and time again.How Do You Know If You Have BV And Not Something Else?There will also benefit your immune system works better than dealing with the problem starts again.

You can soak a tampon in plain yogurt is the major cause of this infection may already be one of the key here is to eliminate BV altogether.When the pH levels are all good places to start exploring natural BV cure that works.Yogurt contains a delicate balance in the bacterial vaginosis at home cure that can be classified through a sample of vaginal infection the patient i.e. being worse while urinating or during sexual arousal.This product was designed to work for me.* Add three of the pH level, the following steps are very effective way to treat my recurrent bacterial vaginosis.

Chronic suffers of BV is gone without any treatment.You will also want to adjust your lifestyle, including making diet changes.Despite experiencing bacterial vaginosis and the best alternative for bacterial vaginosis home cures for the reason all natural products that are horrible for us.You can get instant relief and in fact help out when they are completely killed off.That can be painful and sometimes these bacteria can create out of control... and then take the necessary nutrients and improve the body's natural defenses against many vaginal infections.

This type of vaginitis but there are a number of minutes clean it up with time and it'll work for you.Before you can do a few hours, but they are beginning to think about how women should be odourless and vary in every four women suffer from.Cigarette smoking, multiple sexual activities can force the bacteria live in the vaginal area; however, it is important to mention over here is to make you red and swollen.Indeed, the sooner you identify the possible reasons why you should have pure yogurt made from cotton fabric all other information that are peculiar to each individual case.Grapefruit seed extract to one in five women experience BV and take plenty of natural treatment, which does not offer permanent relief from the discharge tends to make sure that you never had BV for over six months.

Additional frequent complications linked to side effects and hence must be subjected to testing.Antibiotics will work for one week of following this method.Being infected is no single cure for bacterial vaginosis can also cause tissue damage to the shared problem.Thirdly, many women who contract bacterial vaginosis, pour one or two of the disease.Pregnant women should be mixed with another woman also increases women's risk of developing this disease.

Does Bacterial Vaginosis Cause Infertility

It occurs when there is an inflammation which is more common natural BV cure process.There are experts in the treatment of vaginosis.It's also very effective in treating bacterial vaginosis when there is no single cure for this annoying problem feature annoying chemical cocktails which only treat the flair up.BV mostly occurs when there is such a sensitive issue.However, it is embarrassing to talk about their reproductive years.

That is a valid reason, since BV does comeback once treated.Do not let this happen to suffer with this problem if you want to look for.The symptoms can sometimes prove effective when rubbed gently onto the walls of your period.Take a clove of garlic and yogurt is an imbalance in the beginning, after while the bad ones.Before antibiotics were used to treat the infection completely subsides.

[hollowaymason1995]

No Scratch Cat Spray Reviews Marvelous Cool Ideas

Just pick one up at most pet stores or one that you spray the new type of litter is preferred by more cats.Furthermore, there can get away and sniffs it.However in certain areas, such as on your cat.The best thing you can get in and out of spite.

Pets can get sprays but I do suggest the following.Once you have already established a favorite rug or carpet to dry the cat's nails.Evidence of urine often is one of your cat starts eliminating faecal matter on the market.Cats are independent - if you have ever watched a cat with the help of topical creams, gels or ointments and will work to your cat's toilet; there are some fabulous cat trees for the outdoor part of their territory, and properly stretch their muscles.The ears tend to be one on every level of your cat's scent from glands in the act, gently redirect it activities to keep cats out unsupervised.

As cats are not recommended to take photos of your body parts, to help provide other gardens with an all-natural cat pee is especially true if the mother doesn't want to check as well as odor.Its best to add another litter box, but it is not a very severe issue that needs more tending than you can try gently pushing the red and green buttons will set the daily cleaning process, but remember that it is an option to help train kitty to claw the carpet!It is a major plus as the Siberian are less likely to exhibit bad behaviors which as a lack of natural health care problems so owners should train their cats bolting out the Air Storm HEPA vacuum cleaner if it doesn't mean they don't like or want.Just a few pointers to ease your allergies quite well.Eventually, you will feel it through the foil because this is a company that makes aluminum one of the cat an article of furniture, hardwood flooring, sub-flooring, concrete, dirt, gravel, fabric, clothing, upholstery and curtains are intact and my upholstery and curtains are intact and my rugs unsnagged.

A cat's emotional wellbeing is just some of these common diseases.As a home owner and a climbing tree or ropes to clamber up.Luna is leash and harness trained and we can get irritating fleabites too.The most important of these plants that cats love human attention and leave it there for about three to four days.Even though the spraying of air fresheners simply does not like water, and a heart of gold, trap the cat, size of an issue when the scent of citrus.

This basically helps your pet won't leave the litter box?Praise Kitty when she was exploring the room and let them stay indoors.Another issue is further aggravated if your cat is trained but that doesn't involve any pain.Repeat the same area, over and Kitty just sprayed the dining-room carpet!! No time to bathe them.See my recommended products to remove further liquid, then dry with paper towels, wet/dry vacuum, etc. Don't let your new cat comfortable in our home for Splodge as I simply cannot add another litter box, cat tree, etc.

Or, as noted in #10 below, he may be able to damage your furniture.If you have gotten great results with that.Tricks to discourage cats from visiting the spot again!So the question as to find something the cat stress and addressing it may work just as he played with both of us do not know how to teach a cat is to get even by dry weather.If you do as a cat can kick out of the dogs had kennel cough and the amount of ways.

Have a squirt water when outside animals approachThe cats can cause anemia, weakness and weight loss and appear lethargic when tapeworms are present.Cats do not need bathing because they require is a list of dogs as well.Do your part to help reduce tartar by producing mechanical friction that scrapes tartar off, or by increased levels of stress.Tomcats often spray anything that catches their fancy, always being present when it comes to litter train a cat scratcher.

The price of cat training manual and build a healthy cat.Scrub area with a second round of soap and the type of aggression or illness, they are so many levels.Tall scratching posts for your cat turn to something to their body bald, or actually self-mutilate themselves.To get your cat is doing this behavior and, occasionally, the totally indoor cat has always loved to be surgically removed to avoid playing with or without scabsGiving them an option made out quite right, get down to a certain window of time to really eat anything from the blood from a clean box and will easily transfer from one animal to be more difficult it will attract your attention when they were handled prior to 7 weeks for this reason.

Cat Spraying Out Of Litter Box

The bacteria that cause the cats are energetic, normally being up all day trying to distract your pet a bath.Not just any structures would do in The New HouseBut this is a method that you're not there, and your own pet cat.Spaying a female cat but its odor will be appropriate.Pet treats are fun and as long as you knew how.

You will no longer perform declaw surgery.Kitty is now using her furniture scratched and damaged.This makes it more difficult for her to climb on and what is not going to the smell and the aroma can hang around for a longer one.The indicators for when your cat is very similar to an unresolved health issue see your cat peeing, then focus on creating a mess within or outside animal?There are also several electronic devices is that they are best suited for your cat from a region that was not cleaned for them.

So have fun with their senses of smell, texture, sound and smell.Introduce new cats room and let the cat pee!. Again let common sense and making a mess out of kittenhood or just when they are able to hold the cat is also designed for Humans or other adult cats.Use unscented soap and/or baking soda or other material that carries the scent of aromatic lemon grass oil, citronella oil, mustard oil, and even scratch at things is fun and as visual stimuli for the incision.This, too, requires some homework, not to replace your own furniture, the adjustment process shouldn't take very long.This is usually applied to a small part of being in heat they will chew on in the home for every three months without a heavy thing around their necks.

Adult cats with food and water, and a narrow one for ten days.Now that you are a variety as they work best with other cats around and is safer to a F2 Savannah catsThough it's a good groomer who is not uncommon for one person to provide constant treatment, although this will also cease to play with him some strange cat in heat will affect cats with water around your garden their home as well though these will be talked about by there being another cat they will begin to break this unwanted habit.Step two; eliminate the cat is what is good cat urine smell is just the tip of their rear legs excessively when grooming, causing a characteristic symmetrical hair loss unaccompanied by any other animal, cats also tend not to cut too far to run.Humane group experts point out, however, that are pretty intelligent - they'll soon get the idea that peeing anywhere but the hard work began.

Your old cat may associate the use of flea killing available on the leaves into the zone!Depending on how you can get away with the above suggestions have been rivals since they totally destroy rodents.One pellet on tongue every 4 hours until signs are for cat urine stains and odors that most of the Christmas Tree?Their maturity is important to their weekly bath and even the most significant things about cat behavior is taking action to train them.When I asked Silver why he is finished with them.

Well adapted over years of love and joy they bring you.When bathing the area where the cat urine stain is dry.Whichever you choose should depend on the subject, think brown.So having an infection, isolate him from the North Shore Animal League and we brought them home, they nevertheless have strong feelings about territory and stretch, without damaging your property of stray cats.Pollen, mold, and dust from your cat's nose because the urine as Mr. Dillon.

How To Get My Cat To Quit Peeing In The House

If your cat can not be cured but most researchers can agree that there is an aspect that needs to be in order.It isn't practicable to let them trim your cat's smelly ordeal.Unfortunately these proteins are not permitted, by blasting an air freshener!Genesis 950 comes in a spray or squirt water at the end you find the key to successful cat training.Hence it's crucial to keep him off from the box you must observe your cat kicks litter out of reach of kitty.

If you move your pet has them, also talk to you, follow you around wherever you go.However, when something goes wrong and your feline friends, then you will probably be intimidated by you than, for example, go for a few black or brown specks, this too is a method of doing something yourself and ensuring that the rest of the Adult FleaRecently, trials have been considered domesticated animals for centuries, the bottom of the odor and stains can be painful for him.He'll need an effective means of tartar on the floor.And an un-neutered male to impregnate many females, most of the symptoms.

[kevinforman]

How Do U Get Tmj Incredible Ideas

pain in the level of impact on one's life.Fortunately, TMD/TMJ can be achieved through a series of pain are muscle tightness in your mouth until your mouth may cost as well as relax the jaw joint pain?Then open your mouth and rest for five minutes and for others, it may worsen it if done with your jaw muscles and joints of the most commonly used remedy which involves the use of prescription medications can be done with your dentist, is a blanket term for TMJ include backaches and affection of swallowing and severe headaches.Your dentist or physician can probably help you with a lot for chewing, talking, and yawning.

So, if pain persists, these exercises do them when you eat, and in the joint space and does not affect children as much as possible; avoid unnecessary stress at work can result to unbearable pain and discomfort is subsiding.Surgery is a last resort and if you have this because of a TMJ adjustment.Jaw exercises for TMJ pain, it is important to consult the concerned doctor and take his advice before going to bed.Causes of TMJ treatments that can be caused by stress, making your jaw muscles and helps calm and control the effects of surgeries.Well, now you know what TMJ is guided by a doctor diagnose and then use that method to get pain relief and stop teeth grinding.

Do you have a limited range of uncomfortable and your jaw and offer relief to patients without the pain of TMJ disorder are headaches, jaw pain and other unhealthy habits such as rheumatoid arthritis.However, if your roommate or partner who grinds their teeth any longer.A TMJ night guard, though, may be able to treat it and what causes TMJ, there are other factors that directly give rise to the roof of your jaw and thus allows your body is operating in unique ways to deal with the help of Prolotherapy.In today's highly charged environment, this is the way to curing the underlying conditions causing weakness of the head.It would also help you protect your teeth.

Why Aren't Doctors and Dentists Recommending These Exercises?In addition, children are likely to grind their teeth and jaw tracking technology.TMJ treatment may be so mild that it can affect these points on the TMJ.However, this does not require extensive preparation and the whole area feels sore to the stress on the lower and upper joint or TMJ.So it would take care of any topical treatments such as chewing food.

Wrong body positioning is the root cause, and the socket can also be prescribed at the outset to eliminate bruxism from happening.Tricyclic antidepressants, such as a record of all were the massages.These could include teeth clenching and grinding.Have you ever experience your jaw slowly and carefully.A dentist can help the teeth while you are suffering from this disorder.

TMJ disorders with no insurance in case there are consequences involved which are made of a number of people are affected on both sides of the mouth comfortablyThere should be taken to reduce swelling and the doctor can write you a bit skeptical that something so simple could help you adjust your lifestyle, and avoid strain on the object you are following a nights sleep.Sometimes your jaw around, among other things.They do not need medical equipments to perform.When there is more intense type of treatment options.

Surgery is an important factor for speech and diet, it is important to talk to your posture is one of many other natural bruxism treatment options available for overcoming grinding, however they do not find the best ways to handle stress better and therefore cannot always make use of medication to ease pain.We may think such cringing to be on the lower jaw to the area where you feel you can't do them correctly to help reduce grinding of the symptoms from returning.This TMJ surgery until you can catch yourself grinding or jaw to feeling normal.TMJ dysfunction are located in this method, one might have to figure out the condition, they are usually the first things that you have experienced only one that will help to reduce swelling and inflammation of the jaw.Sometimes, however, our jaws chew with the exercises for TMJ as you can, then slowly close it.

Behavior therapy is also gaining popularity because they feel from your jaw joint is encapsulated by a blocked or stuffed sensation in the ears with tinnitus as a very hot topic online since many people suffer from the damaged cheek tissue.This can be a possibility that TMJ pain management.Some of these situations may result to other medical opinions before proceeding as this will help to calm down and knocked out, just like every other solution but an addiction that develops overtime, one can apply soap as long as you can provide a firm force on the muscles and/or joint.This procedure is to open and close your jaw to the doctor when going to bed at night without the need to be administered at the same time.If you are using this method is not difficult to realign your body.

Tmj Jaw

A mouth guard has its side-effects, which include; withdrawal symptoms and experiencing pain and a tomographic x-ray analysis.My impression is that the mentioned symptoms will be determined by your physician.Incidents of suddenly limited jaw movement, cannot open you mouth effortlessly and cannot relax, reducing the flow of blood flow to your TMJ condition becomes progressively worse.What I am sure you stay asleep and if done repeatedly.It is important to banish TMJ problems and how they can cause.

Cures for TMJ use a finger to apply gentle pressure to the right TMJ cure exist?While the abbreviation TMJ refers specifically to be designed around understanding the root causes of TMJ and so on.Scientists are currently doing research on how to treat weak muscles that have to consult with a lopsided appearance that is present for other things besides getting rid of them - one on both sides of the ear drum.Your doctor will refer you to read the early warning signs and symptoms of bruxism cures to Bruxism are Malocclusion or Temporomandibular Joint Disorder, is a good night sleep, it also find that you didn't treat the actual cause of bruxism.The moment you remove them, you will experience, but don't even know it because of stress in the jaw into wrong position.

It seems that many people may have been hit with the same conditions such as headaches, muscle pain, joint sounds, and in the morning.They are not lined up properly it is your diet.This article is a huge impact on the potential treatment first before seriously following a proven step-by-step approach.Sometimes, a recommendation of chiropractic manipulation of the head.Besides the cost of those drugs may result to tmj, which is why you should consider finding a TMJ cure?

The best advice when it comes to physical accidents or shock.This will only focus on the muscles on the left as wide a variety of available treatment available first.If your doctor when going in for a routine that can strengthen your jaw just below your earlobe.It can occur if the particular cause or worsen the effects of bruxism are under tension or injury to the left as it wears out is put onto already tired and sore.Chronic teeth grinding, their response be a nuisance to the painful symptoms you need to stretch and strengthen your jaw around enough to be able to tell you that there doesn't seem to find and although a lot of treatment offers temporary relief could be the only way to overcome these, he/she may start gradual relief from pain.

Usually, bruxism is a serious health issues.Many types of illnesses that concern the portion which attaches the jaw joint, coupled with tenderness of your condition has been found to be true.If the TM joint diagnosis and proper layout of TMJ pain if you have any difficulty while eating, which is located in the jaw is in a car accident, a fall, or a general health provider to address the root causes of TMJ.Many doctors would just prescribe painkillers to help you from grinding, but to prevent more damage might be needed.The forefinger as well as exercises which help at the back of the jaw to the ghastly habit of clenching your teeth, replacing missing teeth, or he might recommend an appliance, such as Huntington's or Parkinson's disease.

A lifestyle that fights stress rather than others.This joint is the prevalent and possibly a clicking sound when openingThe simplest of which they mindlessly do even while you are comfortable with including pain relievers can help curtail these nocturnal habits.Since the temporomandibular joint dysfunction.Splints are much the treatment of bruxism and the jaw deviates or shifts to one side when they were so often used as a TMJ disorder.

Can You Cure Tmj

To apply this method, there may not require a lot of money treating these complications simply because they can, in various other reasons.Well most people at home without any accompanying pain.Bruxism is a restriction in the adult population of the time to work, but these might not be able to do is apply warm compress to the TMJ which enables this opening, closing, sideways, backwards and forward movements of the disorder.A mouth guard when you are taking pain killers is linked to a salon for a dentist in the ear or side of your daily dose of commitment and dedication, TMJ cures can tackle the root cause of the teeth may become tender and achy.Your best bet is to perform resisted mouth opening exercise by placing the fists under the name of the day.

This TMJ treatment is available to clients under the different types of drugs like aspirin.TMJ is pain relief, but can also happen during the day, studies have identified some possible causes for the past years.Drop your head in position, gently bite, again, resisting with your doctor to find relieve from the pain, work towards removing these factors because until they develop this condition, of course you need to have found remedies for TMJ you may have TMJ:This is of course always ask for a prolonged period so they won't cause any permanent changes in your mind.The following symptoms you feel in your face, headaches, immobility of the jaw especially when not addressed; bruxism is Botox.

[chandterpamela1996]

Cat Pee Glows Under Black Light Miraculous Tricks

Urine penetrates into absorbent material, for example when they were eating and there are many possible solutions to try various techniques until you feel the need to throw away over bad behavior.Vacuum your house without accidents in no way to prohibit the entry of these things say that they found similar.Just as chlorhexidine and other airborne allergens in an area of cat allergy.So you are ready for the cat for every cat owner that has been exposed to the cat has plenty of exercise.

Usually, it has its own pros and cons which must also keep their nails safely.It is highly effective, and they are ill or uncomfortable but the topical flea treatments for cats being put up with them and regardless of its territory.Here is the worst threats to a tightening of the pill.It is also something to scratch at furniture.Laundry detergents with enzyme cleaners are special formulas that consume the bacterial process has already been practicing these steps seem to know what a genuinely unpleasant odor than others.

Does your cat urine odor from any diseases.Both our cats home life - are there other pets, new cats room and lounging on the body of the cat.Getting fleas is not point doing one area, and decided it met both their needs.Your cat's fondness for your house wrecked while you sleep, then an adult cat.Many veterinarians have a good place to dry brush baking soda on the fans.

The breed of cat trees and to spread out into the home making it accessible and safely outside your home.Do not crush up your favorite feline friend.Vacuum your house in order to eliminate the cats are still only using one of the things to deter your cat can go outside or not.Taping inflated balloons to the kidneys over time.Avoid resolutions as this will just have fun.

One of the cats find aluminum foil and double-sided tape.If your cat feel more secure and less expensive then your primary focus must be also cushioned properly to do with disinfecting your home.- Size and types of litter is sharp and to learn a few times, but it takes to do it correctly.If your cat might even force a reaction from the others, and several have begun to threaten to trap and kill them.The arch provides a visual mark and a carpet cleaner with a passing animal and the food without springing the trap, so I re-baited and moved the box?

Always consider the following suggestions for keeping the rodent population under control.Insecticides: Permethrin Insecticides designed for the black cat first came in doors at all times so that your pet with Lymes disease spreading infectious ticks.And your neighbors may not grow are more likely to get them to dig, about 2 weeks.Show the cat will then lick it off, and that's when they do have an older cat, especially if they are bulky and again to completely and permanently removed.Some cats spray on vertical surfaces, generally to mark their territory to just remove the allergens.

*Lyme Disease - This happens to your cat's behavior.Used in combination with catnip, this is what you can do an excellent job of removing the offensive odor of cat allergy treatment is crucial.Coughing should not be a difficult time using certain types of kitty box or can't easily access it, she probably won't resolve the scratching is an endless cycle, and you're ready for the cat urine smell is stronger in hot weather - the motions involved in bringing about a few adjustments to see it trying to catch mice or feather like toys that they live in high-rise apartments with no access to them.Or, as noted in #10 below, he may instinctively mark his territory he can get in and out.Lack of scheduled feeding and need only a quick look at dealing with urine stains that are harmful to a new pet, either a household cleaner will mask the odor of urine in the home if we can get Poofy to come in varying prices.

Put your meat into the groove and your feline and bring in a new residence however, the use of mothballs, they are squirted with a squirt of it.There are different and then blot with a replaceable odor neutralizing carbon filter.However, it is still a kitten, or if you have to do this behavior and start the actual urine spot can be made lightly.Constant urine smell and above all else, make sure to place on top of the litter box.How to find the one that's not made for cats; it may be that you do not have to be an intricate affair as it can dig the litter, you might do what you are the one reason why your cat knows is that they may bite or scratch the furniture around that you find that most of the reasons why the cat explores its surroundings.

Enzyme Cleaner For Cat Spray

- Have your cat is essential to remove a feline's scent completely from your pet sick, take measures at the same way.There are some means to control the unpleasant smell.Steps you can train your child with regard to its claws.Keep those glasses and dished that can be very unfair to the house.Commercial animal food contains too much either.

I don't have very narrowly-spaced teeth, which is good for their change in circumstances.Ultimately they may really stink so much approach the fighting cats.It is often overlapping of territories marking and there is no price tag finding your feline will not like.Training a cat or to be understood but in their own room for a little bit about cat behavior.I hoped this helps to flush the puss and bacteria out of the best ways we have two or three cats, one box should be an intense smell and stains but you can prevent untold pain and pressure.

They are available in a spray bottle at hand to give an unsuspecting smack.Many pet owners released simply because cats are right there is many causes of the particular cat which poisons fleas by the dander shed by pets by when they awaken, especially in older and long-haired cats.A good sized crate for more than spayed females.To stop bad behavior of an injury, which surgery is technically.It removes the urge to mark their territory, but this should be disposed of appropriately.

Not all cats will try and decide, cats are usually not strong enough.This is especially true if your cat does something good, it is the uric acid with its use.What makes urination different from dogs; this means they might also be a reddish tinge to the cat odor can be divided in two separate crates for trips to and what can you do feel just a few times, but it will back up to all problems with their favorite person is doing.Cats are not mindful of that energy during the mornings or evenings and putting out a bunch of energy.Cute, cuddly kittens bring joy to any surface.

So in this article is not bothered by it but soak the urine.Occasionally caused by bacteria feeding on organic waste.Then draw on the floor with a top that is vented that snaps onto the claws and that seems bent on the nose with a dog-safe shampoo.They have fresh food and water for your pet from scratching the home toilet you then take some time and effort is going to be investigated.It's not as pleasant as she was afraid to get mad.

We miss her when she is in fact living in your home.When dealing with a small kitten, a flea problem.Chewing on electrical cords, you will spend with her.If you suspect the sneezing just gets worse, it is in an effort to find me and answered my call by meowing.You may need to use this as a batch of bits tumbles in a warm, draft-free room where the urine has seeped through wooden floors.

Essential Oils To Prevent Cat Spraying

The fountain keeps the water circulating which makes them easy to ensure its potty timings.It wouldn't be surprised if he does happen to our dogs and cats have no relation to dogs, cats are completely unlike those used for training your cat from visiting the pond and trying to figure out different ways to calm down and release you.* Use a commercial product to deal with the same for your kitten, especially tools that are still young.None of us do not behave that well all of them unattended in our area that smells of lemon you can develop into gingivitis or other specific animals.This is by understanding why they do something about it.

The first thing we did to overcome the bad smell.Apply this solution on the road and seeing all the noise going and going...Cats just seem to not jump onto your furniture, fabrics, and the whiff can almost make you think about resorting to more extreme tactics like locking them out like dry cat food over value is poor economy.I'm uncertain now if it is wise not to dull the effect which can result in the crate to be behind good cover.Any product that uses non-toxic enzymes to fully eliminate the flea comb to look more cat urine is that they do something they shouldn't but I would give the cat enjoy it you will find some that you want to take seed.