#ill miss his voice when he gets killed by a rock LOL

[ravennory]

ibs headcanon achieved

[kimmimaru]

I don't know if this counts as a spoiler? But will put it under a cut anyway just in case. Its about Cloud in Rebirth.

Honestly they did such a good job of making Cloud's mental state fucked up. There are hints of it in the Remake but in Rebirth its very frequent. I'm talking about the times Cloud acts like a child. I can think of one instance in Remake, when he thinks the man in the black robes was Sephiroth and he pins him to the ground, his voice gets higher and he PANICS. In Rebirth it gets worse. When he brings Sephiroth the key to the black materia, his voice changes again to that of a kid. Its the same tone of voice my child uses when she brings me a cool rock she found. And honestly? That is so fucking disturbing. I can't get it out of my head. And now its slightly worse because he has a similar sort of tone when speaking to Aerith's ghost. The man is well and truly broken and he doesn't even know it. Its so apporpriate but god, I can't stop thinking about it, it makes me ill. It is fiction and there's not a lot of stuff that really gets to me in fiction, but this? Its awful. I spent the entire time playing those scenes with a tight knot in my stomach and its just so damn good. I was very impressed. Cloud does the same thing when he finally gets to reuinite with Zack, his voice gets infinately softer and more child-like. And again, this is apporpriate since he was unconcious for at least five years of his life, he never actually grew up mentally. Inside he's still fifteen/sixteen years old and in the OG its difficult to really get that across, but they did it perfectly in Rebirth. I don't know if its affecting me worse now because I am a parent myself, so it didn't really affect me the same when I played the OG (I was a kid myself so I missed a lot of the nuance I suppose, not to mention the technological restrictions on the PS1) or if its just that it has voice acting now so its a bit more obvious, I dunno. Its not just Cloud either. Like, even Tseng was a teenager and working as a Turk. Shinra put guns in the hands of children and its just sort of glossed over, I don't really see it mentioned much in fanfic and stuff. Yuffie: sixteen years old and trying to assasinate Rufus. Zack: Seventeen and sent into a war to kill people. Sephiroth: a living weapon from birth. The only character to ever even mention this is Reeve in one of the Novellas when he's speaking to Denzel. The WRO won't recruit children because of what Shinra did. I suppose because its so normalised in their world that no one else would even blink at it, but Reeve does and I like him for it lol. Basically, it makes sense that the characters themselves don't think about it, since its normal for them but I think it makes for interesting plots in fanfic. I've put it in a few times with the Turks and stuff. Anyways, sorry for rambling, my point is is that Rebirth does a great job of really driving home the fact that Cloud is still a kid inside. A teenager with a big sword and a broken mind.

[beifongsss]

flirt [zuko]

Pairing: Zuko x earthbender!reader baybeeeeee

Summary: An anon request <3 “ zuko and a super outgoing/confident/flirty reader? all the fics i’ve seen so far are super shy reader x zuko, they’re super cute, just not very relatable to me lol”

i hope i do your request justice :3 also i’m sorry that I keep making the reader a bender but this fits bc they have to fight Zuko lol

.masterlist.

~

You don’t even know how you ended up traveling with the Gaang.

One day you had been living in a small Earth Kingdom town, helping out the Beifongs as Toph’s etiquette tutor and the next, you found yourself being tugged away from your home by the youngest Beifong. You couldn’t deny the fact that you finally felt free flying on the (abnormally cute) sky bison as you headed to who-knows-where.

You had nothing left for you back in the Earth Kingdom town you had been born in. You were the only daughter of a well-known family who had always been loyal to the Earth King. Unfortunately, they had been captured on a trip to Ba Sing Se and subsequently killed by the Fire Nation. With no family left to turn to, you proceeded to accept the Beifong’s offer to stay with them in return for you teaching Toph about high class etiquette.

Toph was an interesting girl and you found yourself being impressed with everything she did. You were always her number one supporter, especially when it came to her being The Blind Bandit. She was an extremely talented bender and in return for you tutoring her, she was your bending instructor and you became her only most promising student.

Eventually, Aang, Katara, and Sokka all filled you in about the banished Fire Nation prince and how he had chased the Gaang everywhere they had gone in an attempt to capture the Avatar. You and Toph were upset at the stories and were immediately anti-Zuko, promising to help Aang master earthbending as fast as possible.

You got along well with everyone, especially Sokka who was almost as talkative as you were. Of course the good vibes didn’t last long and you all found yourselves arguing as you found yourselves being chased by Azula and her friends. The situation had culminated in a battle at a small, abandoned town. You had arrived to see Aang being cornered by two people, each of them throwing fire towards the young Air Nomad.

Engaging with the person closest to you, you thrust your hands out, shooting a pillar of earth out and tossing the person into the closest building. Sharing a look with Aang, you waved him off. “Go! I’ll hold him off.”

“Be careful,” Aang warned, looking towards Azula uncertainly. “That’s Zuko.”

Your eyes widened as Aang ran off before turning your attention back to the boy in front of you. He struggled to get up before a burst of fire left him, sending rock debris everywhere. Quickly, you sent up another wall of earth, protecting yourself from the flying rocks before breaking it apart and sending it towards Zuko. The banished prince grunted before throwing a few fireballs towards you, causing you to stumble back and fall.

Eyes narrowing, Zuko made his way to you, pulling back his fist as fire formed around it. Groaning, you sat up, finally getting a good look at the boy in front of you. Almost immediately, a flirty smirk made it’s way onto your face. You quickly scrambled to your feet, bouncing up to him without any hesitation. You dodged his attacks, fighting back as you bit your lip.

“So...you’re Zuko?” you asked, dodging another punch. At this point, you were engaging in hand to hand combat instead of relying on your earthbending. Zuko didn’t reply, his eyes narrowing as he kept sending blasts of fire again.

“Aang told us about how you haven’t been able to capture him,” you continued, blinking innocently as Zuko became visibly angry. “But he failed to mention just how handsome you are.”

At your words, Zuko’s eyes widened and he misstepped, losing his focus at your words. You took that opportunity to step back as well before taking a strong step and raising your hands, encasing the banished prince in a slab of rock.

“Let me go!” Zuko cried out, steam coming out of his nose as he struggled. You stood in front of him, arms crossed as you stared at him. He truly was handsome, with piercing gold eyes and soft-looking black hair. You opened your mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by Sokka.

“(Y/N)! A little help here?” the Water Tribe boy yelped, narrowly dodging a blast of blue fire from Azula.

“Coming!” you replied, eyebrows furrowing in slight concern before you addressed Zuko once more. “It was real nice meeting you Prince Zuko. I hope to see you again under more pleasurable circumstances.”

With a wink, you sprinted away, jumping in front of Sokka and sending up a wall of earth as Azula struck again.  You continued to sprint around, helping out whenever called out to you. The fight came to an end when you all had Azula cornered, and you sent a brief smirk to Zuko as you saw him standing near you. “Finally made it out huh?”

He had glowered at you and you simply rolled your eyes before turning back to Azula. “The whole tough guy act is hot but something tells me you’d look better with a smile.”

You missed his surprised look as Azula shot a blast of fire towards an older man, who you later learned was Zuko’s uncle Iroh. In the ensuing chaos she escaped, and you were left with a shaken Zuko and an injured Iroh. At Zuko’s threats insistence, the five of you left, looking back at him as you flew off on Appa. It was silent for a few minutes before you finally spoke up. “So, why didn’t you guys mention that Prince Zuko is hot?”

The only sound that was heard was Sokka slapping his forehead.

~

The next time you saw Zuko was in Ba Sing Se. You had been walking around with Katara, having stayed behind with her to plan the invasion. She was talking quietly as you looked around the city, pretending to be listening to her. On your shoulder, Momo was chattering quietly, also looking around with his large eyes.

You sighed softly as you entered a cozy-looking tea shop. You looked around in appreciation before you heard Katara gasp. Quickly, she grabbed your hand and whirled around hurrying out of the shop. You felt yourself crash into someone else, losing Katara’s hand and falling to the ground. You looked at the door before looking at Momo, shaking your head at Katara’s weird behavior.

“Are you alright?” a soft voice ask. You pushed yourself up, ignoring the hand in front of you before looking up. Your eyes widened in surprise as you found yourself staring at Zuko’s uncle. Iroh, you recalled vaguely. Recognition flashed in his eyes as he looked at you, remembering you as the earthbender who had trapped his nephew. Bracing yourself for the worst possible scenario, you nodded in response to his question, holding Momo to your chest.

“Would you like a cup of tea?” the retired general asked, a warm smile on his face as he guided you to a table. “You look like a jasmine type of girl.”

Sensing no ill intentions from the smiling man, you nodded. “Jasmine happens to be my favorite.”

“I see. It is my nephew’s favorite as well,” Iroh continued, gesturing to the boy behind the counter. You smiled as you noticed Zuko standing behind the counter, his back to you as he focused on whatever he was doing. Noticing your smile at the sight of his nephew, Iroh smiled as well. “I’ll send him over to give you your tea.”

“I would greatly appreciate that,” you said, your eyes not leaving the handsome boy.

You played with Momo when Iroh left, silently speaking to the winged lemur as you waited for your tea. You placed Momo in your lap when you heard someone set down a tray on your table, looking up to see Zuko standing there. “Hey handsome.”

Zuko glanced at you, doing a double take when his eyes met yours. “Y-You!”

He grasped your hand, pulling you out of your seat and towards the back as you struggled to hold on to Momo.

“Ow! Ow! Can you stop?” you hissed, pulling your hand away from him. You placed Momo on your shoulder before rubbing your wrist. You glanced down at it, noticing how raw it looked. “You really need to learn how to control your temper Zuko.”

“What happened here?” Iroh’s asked before Zuko could speak again. He gently took your hand in his inspecting the burn before turning to his nephew. “Now Lee, is this any way to treat our customers?”

“She isn’t a customer uncle,” Zuko replied bluntly. “She’s traveling with the Avatar. She is the earthbender who fought me the day you were injured.”

“You’re the earthbender who trapped my nephew?” Iroh looked at you in surprise. You nodded, causing the older man to chuckle. “You are a very talented bender.”

You blushed at the compliment before answering, thinking about Toph. “Thank you, I was trained by the best.”

“We must get this wrapped up. Come with me,” Iroh led you to a back room, where he proceeded to get some type of salve and some wrappings. “Zuko if you could please do this for me, I’m afraid I have to get back to the customers.”

Iroh left the two of you, but not before stopping and handing Momo a few litchi nuts. Momo chittered before jumping off your shoulder, landing on a windowsill as he began eating the fruit. You glanced at the burn once more before looking back at Zuko. “You know, you just gave the term ‘too hot to handle’ a whole new meaning.”

Zuko tried to hold his blush back at your words as he sat in front of you. He grabbed your arm, applying the paste and then gathering the wrappings, beginning to tie them around your wrist.

You hissed when he tightened it a little too much, pulling away from the boy. “Ow! If I wanted you to be rough with me I would’ve told you.”

This time, Zuko could not hold his blush at your double entendre. A faint smirk appeared on your face as you began to wrap your wrist.

“Let me do it,” Zuko muttered reaching for your arm.

“No,” you replied leaning away. “Trust me I can do it myself.”

“Why are you being so difficult,” the boy groaned, lunging for the wrapping. You leaned back too far, falling onto your back as you reached out for something to grab on to. The only thing you succeeded in doing was pulling Zuko down with you.

You stared at the boy above you. “When I told you that I hope we’d meet under more pleasurable circumstances, this wasn’t what I had in mind. Not that I’m complaining.”

Zuko stuttered for a few second before deciding to scowl at you instead.

“If I had known I was interrupting, I would’ve stayed outside. Prince Zuko, I never knew you were so good with the ladies,” Iroh’s voice floated in. You sat up immediately, only succeeding in getting closer to the prince. You tried to ignore the blush that you knew was visible on your cheeks.

“I would be honored to be wooed by such an attractive man,” you said, looking up at Zuko through your eyelashes. Iroh raised an eyebrow. “Unfortunately, I simply fell back and pulled your nephew down with me.”

“Well, as an apology on his behalf from earlier, let me offer you a nice warm cup of jasmine tea,” Iroh said, setting down a tray. “On the house.”

You smiled as you pulled yourself up, leaving Zuko on the ground. “It smells delicious but I am afraid I must get going. Katara must be wondering where I am. Thank you very much for the offer.”

You bowed before whistling sharply, causing Momo to fly to your shoulder.

“My nephew will walk you out. It was nice to met you...” Iroh trailed off as he realized that he had never asked for your name.

“My name is (Y/N),” you supplied, smiling.

“A truly beautiful name,” Iroh said, stepping away from the door. “It was nice to meet you (Y/N). I hope to see you again soon. Zuko, please walk her out.”

You bowed once more before you followed Zuko back out to the store. When you reached the steps, you turned around and faced him once more. “It was nice to see you again handsome. Let’s do it again sometime.”

Zuko’s reply was lost as you stepped forward, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to his scarred cheek. “Have a nice evening.”

Momo’s chittering was the only thing that could be heard as you walked away. Zuko stood on the steps until he could no longer see you, the blush on his cheeks only intensifying when he remembered how your lips felt pressed against his cheek.

“It seems to me that she is the one wooing you,” Iroh said, hiding a smile.

“Shut up uncle.”

~

You didn’t see the handsome prince again until you had all safely escaped to the Western Air Temple. You had been trying to talk to Aang about learning firebending when you and Toph had felt someone arriving.

“Aang, I think we should be making some plans about our future!” Sokka exclaimed, trying to get Aang to pay attention.

“Okay, we can do that while I show you the giant Pai Sho table! Oh, you're gonna love the all-day echo chamber!” the air nomad replied, already preparing to run off.

Aang came to an abrupt stop when you sent up a wall of earth in front of him.

“I think that’ll have to wait,” Toph said, turning to face the newcomer.

“Hello, Zuko here,” the prince said, raising his arms up in greeting. Immediately, everyone except you took a fighting stance. You didn’t really pay attention to most of the conversation, too busy staring at Zuko’s hair. It had grown out some and to be honest, you thought it looked really good.

“Wait,” you interrupted, stepping forward slightly. “You look really good with your hair like that. Not to say you didn’t look good before but this, wow. you’re even hotter.”

“(Y/N)!” Sokka and Katara exclaimed at the same time. Sokka pulled you back before smacking you lightly. You smacked him back, the two of you bickering nonstop. You missed Zuko’s bewildered expression, along with most of the conversation.

“There's no way we can trust you after everything you've done,” Aang spoke, catching your attention. “We'll never let you join us.”

“You need to get out of here,” Katara added, a hard expression on her face. “Now.”

Zuko looked at you, his eyes pleading.

You sighed before speaking, your arms raised in surrender. “Look, I think you’re probably the most attractive guy I’ve ever seen-”

“Hey!” Sokka cried indignantly.

You ignored him. “But to be fair, you did send an assassin after us. Not to mention everything else you’ve done. I can’t help you handsome.”

“If you won't accept me as a friend, then maybe you'll take me as a prisoner,” Zuko said, kneeling with his hands out. You looked at Katara, a suggestive smirk on your face.

“(Y/N), stop,” she sighed before turning back to Zuko and bending some water. “No, we won't! Get out of here, and don't come back! And if we ever see you again, well, we'd better not see you again!”

Zuko bowed his head and turned to walk away, glancing back once more. For once, you didn’t meet his eyes.

~

“Has anyone seen Toph,” you asked as you rushed into the courtyard. “I haven’t seen her since yesterday.”

“I haven’t seen her since she stormed off yesterday,” Sokka said, polishing his sword.

“Maybe we should go look for her,” Katara said, noticing your distress.

“We’ll look for her!” The Duke said, rushing off with Haru and Teo.

You whirled around when you heard a loud rumble, only to see a gaping hole in the wall. Toph tumbled out of it, her eyes wide.

“Toph!” you exclaimed, wrapping her up in a hug. “What happened?”

“My feet got burned,” she replied, pushing you off of her.

Her feet were an angry red and you felt your anger rise up as you realized who had done it. “The next time I see Zuko I swear to the spirits that I will-”

“It was an accident,” Toph interrupted you, placing a hand on your arm. You bit your lip as Sokka carried her over to the fountain.

“Ah that’s the stuff,” Toph said, closing her eyes as she dipped her feet in. Soka opened his mouth to say something only to be cut off by an explosion. Being the closest to the source, you were flung back, metal and stone landing on top of you.

“(Y/N)!” you heard Aang yell as everyone else ran away.

“I’m fine!” you called back. “Go I’ll be okay.”

You bended as much earth as you could away from you, only to still be stuck when you realized you couldn’t move the metal.

“We have to get (Y/N),” Toph said, worriedly grabbing onto Katara.

“We will. Hold on,” Sokka said, staring at the blasts Combustion Man was sending their way. After a few more blasts, he was able to tell where he was and aimed his boomerang. The boomerang met it’s mark and they all ran out, Sokka and Toph immediately going over to you.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thanks Zuko,” Aang spoke softly.

“Hey! What about me?” Sokka asked, helping you up. Your leg was injured but luckily nothing had been broken. Sokka was fussing over you, looking at the nasty bruise that had been left from the metal and you were trying to push him away, claiming that you didn’t need his help.

“...I’d like for you to teach me,” Aang’s words gained yours and Sokka’s attention. Zuko bowed.

“Thank you. I’m so happy you’ve accepted me into your group.”

“Not so fast,” Aang said. “I still have to ask my friends if it's okay with them. Toph, you're the one that Zuko burned. What do you think?”

“Go ahead and let him join,” Toph said as the pounded her fist into her palm. “It'll give me plenty of time to get back at him for burning my feet.”

“Sokka?” Aang asked.

“Hey, all I want is to defeat the Fire Lord,” the Water Tribe Boy shrugged. “If you think this is the way to do it, then, I'm all for it.“

“Katara?”

“I'll go along with whatever you think is right,” she said simply, glaring at Zuko.

“What about you (Y/N)?” Aang asked, already knowing what your answer would be.

“You’re telling me I’m going to have to see him every day?” you asked, gesturing towards Zuko. “That sounds like a dream come true.”

“Thank you,” Zuko said, redder than a tomato. “I won’t let you down.”

“I’m sure you won’t,” you replied. Groans were heard from everyone else.

~ “Come on (Y/N)!” Toph yelled at you. “Do it!”

You stared at the metal in front of you, trying to concentrate on it. You were in the courtyard, a few days after Combustion Man’s downfall. Zuko and Aang were firebending a few feet away from where Toph was trying to teach you how to metalbend. Ever since you had gotten trapped, she had been insistent on teaching you.

With a loud huff, you closed your eyes. You reached out focuising as much as you could and turning the pieces of metal in front of you into smooth, shiny balls. You opened your eyes when you heard clapping, turning to see Aang cheering softly for you. Zuko stood behind him, shirtless.

“That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” Toph taunted, bending the balls of metal back into scraps. “Do it again. This time concentrate harder. I don’t know why you’re so distracted today.”

“You don’t know why I’m distracted?” you said turning to face Aang and Zuko. “Prince Handsome over here is training shirtless and you expect me to not be distracted by that?”

“I don’t get distracted by that,” Toph countered.

“Of course not,” you said, facing her again. “You’re blind.”

Aang snickered and Zuko coughed as he tried to choke back his laughter.

“Do it again,” Toph barked. “Zuko come stand next to me.”

Zuko complied and crossed his arms as he stood next to Toph. You found yourself blushing lightly as you stared at the way his arms flexed before focusing on the metal once more. You struggled for a few minutes, feeling Zuko’s eyes on you. You glanced at him once more, watching his arms flex once again as he shifted in place. Looking up at his face, you saw him already looking at you, a smirk on his face.

You looked back at the metal trying not to look at the prince again. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.

~

It wasn’t until Ember Island that you got to spend more time around Zuko. After the day Toph had made him stand next to her as she trained you, you made sure to train as far as you could possibly get from the prince. That didn’t stop you from flirting with him every other chance you had though, always commenting on how you couldn’t train around him because he made you flustered.

Your comments seemed to make him equally, if not more, flustered.

The day you guys went to see the play, you had sat next to him, intertwining your fingers when the lights went off. He had stiffened up, an unreadable look on his face when he felt your hand in his. Thinking he had been uncomfortable, you pulled back your hand, only to blush when he pulled it back towards him this time taking it upon himself to intertwine your fingers.

Your hands remained intertwined for the rest of the play, even when you exited the private box for the intermission. You didn’t miss the smug looks from everyone else and while Zuko blushed, you had simply leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek the same way you had back in Ba Sing Se.

When the second half of the play started, you proceeded to lean on Zuko, nestling your head in the crook of his neck. His heart racing, Zuko disconnected your hands before wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you in closer. You closed your eyes as you leaned into him, enjoying the warmth that seemed to radiate from him.

~

The next few days were spent watching Aang and Zuko training as you lounged around the beach house. You spent most of your time with Toph as she kept drilling metalbending into you until you could do it with your eyes closed.

A few nights before Sozin’s comet, you found yourself sitting on the roof of the house, staring up at the moon. You jumped slightly when you felt someone sitting next to you, the warmth emitting from them telling you it was Zuko.

“What are you doing up so late?” he asked, his eyes never leaving you.

“I could ask you the same thing,” you hummed, still looking at the moon. You looked at him to see him scowling. “I couldn’t sleep so I came out here to look at the moon.”

“Sokka’s first girlfriend turned into the moon,” Zuko said, fidgeting under your gaze.

“That’s rough,” you said, looking back up.

It was silent for a few minutes before Zuko spoke up again. “Why do you like teasing me so much?”

You looked at him, bewildered. “Teasing you?”

“Yeah,” Zuko said, turning to face you. “All the compliments and the kisses and everything. Why?”

“It’s called flirting, Prince Zuko,” you said with a smile. “People typically do it when they’re attracted to or like somebody.”

“So why do you do it to me?”

You stared at him in disbelief, wondering if he was joking or if he was truly that oblivious. “Because I like you!”

Zuko’s eyes widened in surprise at your words. “You like me?”

“I thought you knew! I thought that’s why you kept flexing the day Toph kept trying to get me to metalbend,” you hissed poking his arm.

“I was joking around,” Zuko replied, swatting your hand away. “I thought you saying I was distracting you was a joke so I kept flexing to tease you.”

“Well you did tease me,” you mumbled. “Just not in the way you’re thinking of.”

“So,” Zuko said, not meeting your eyes. “You really like me?”

You rolled your eyes before leaning forwards, pressing a firm kiss to his lips. His eyes widened in shock before he closed them, his hand reaching up to cup your face as he melted into the kiss. You pulled back and giggled as his lips chased yours, pecking him once more before leaning back. “Does that answer your question?”

Zuko nodded quickly before grabbing your hand. “I like you too.”

You smiled as you shuffled closer to him. “Good. I’d be pretty upset if you didn’t.”

You gasped lightly as Zuko pressed his lips back to yours, sliding his arms around your waist and pulling you into his lap. Your arms wound around his neck, hands tangling in his hair as you eagerly kissed back. Zuko pulled away first, a chuckle escaping him.

“What?” you asked leaning your head against his shoulder.

“I can’t believe uncle was right,” he replied. At your questioning gaze, he explained.

“You did end up wooing me.”

~

AHAHAHAHAAHHHH i hope this is good i spent a lot of time on this one and i’m not too proud of it but i hope you enjoy <3

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[missskzbiased]

The Three Lessons (3)

Genre: Angst, Romance, Fluff, Witch! Au, Love Triangle

Pairing: Chan X Fem! Reader X Seungmin

Word Count: ~13,8K

(The First) (The Second) (The Third)

Warnings: (Mild) Mentions of [Death, Burned Witches, food, blood/battling(?)]

Notes:  Finally here! Sorry for the delay but I got blocked, then busy and well! At least, it’s finally here! LOL  

I’d like to hear your thoughts on this. If you guys liked the plot/expected the stuff and things like this! Thank you for reading/rb’ing/commenting/sending asks and stuff! <3

Tagging:  @p2q3r4   @thatrandomoneinthecorner

                                                     ////

CHAPTER 3: The Third Lesson

    It has been four months already.

    The fateful night when you ran away from your home ─ Well, your former home ─ still hovered over your thoughts from time to time, haunting you during your day-to-day life activities as baking the bread you were just making, kneading the dough with much more force than needed. The thick and malleable piece slowly sprawled over the counter as you stopped in your tracks, studying how it relaxed on the surface until it didn’t move anymore ─ Soft and still, just like the limp body of your Grandma on the ground ─, and you felt the urge to cry all over again.

       You missed her.

       You raised your head to stop the tears from falling, looking up and blinking multiple times until the urge to cry morphed into crushing regret that tightened your heart by the second, making you sigh heavily before lowering your gaze to the window. The reflection on the glass showed you a gloomy girl with flour painting her cheeks and forehead in a silly way that couldn’t brighten up your mood even if you forced a smile to plaster on her face, so you settled for lowering your eyes to your hands, resting above the bread.

      The flour painted both of your hands white, and for a split of a second, the dusty white turned into a damp red, covering your hands in blood just like that night, sending a shiver down your spine. You were a murderer. The flickering thought vanished as soon as Seungmin’s paled shocked face struck your memories, reminding you how he trembled as he took your hands on his, studying the dry blood on them filled with horror, certain that you have just killed someone.

      You want me to hide a body?! His voice sounded on your mind, making you chuckle and shake your head in amusement. The amusement had dissolved into heartbreak at the time, and you broke into tears, startling the younger boy who rushed you inside, looking around to check if someone had seen anything before closing the door. That night, Seungmin sat with you on the floor, rubbing your hands and face with a wet cloth until the blood ─ that later he came to know that was from your hunt ─ came off of your body, rocking you to soothe you through your breakdown.

       “Hey, Bunny Bun, how is it going?” You turned around to meet the known face of Seungmin’s father, a fine man that allowed you to stay without a second thought ─ which raised a lot of questions from Seungmin, who seemed fixed to the idea that you had enchanted him somehow ─, and had been treating you like a daughter since then. He approached you, tearing off a small piece from the dough and molding it between his palms, pinching it to form two long ears, just like a rabbit before throwing it for you to catch.

       The joke began when you saw a bun for the first time in your life.

        You had looked at him all filled with curiosity, watching as he kneaded the dough, and he chuckled at your antics, glancing at you once in a while before making a bunny out of nowhere and throwing it in your direction, startling you. The way you hopped, catching the piece and smashing it between your hands unintentionally, made him laugh wholeheartedly, studying your sheepish smile before he patted your shoulder reassuringly.

       It’s too soon for bunnies to hop, don’t you think? He joked, knowing that you were too sleepy and your reflexes were nothing but rusty at the time. You laughed at this, and somehow it became your thing… Just making bunny jokes around in the morning as you baked your bun. It felt like you were family, loved and cared for, and truly accepted… Just like the lesson predicted… You were right to stick to your kind.

      “I’m almost done, Mr.Kim!” You said with a small smile, trying to cover up your sadness “We will have some delicious bread for the customers” You promised, resuming your previous actions, starting to tear off the pieces to mold them.

     “I wish Seungmin was an early bird like you” He confessed, chuckling as he stood beside you to help you out with your baking “I’m glad you’re here… You’re very welcome to this family, I hope you know that” He glanced at you, clearing his throat “And… How is it going? Are you both getting along well?” He asked awkwardly, and this time you chuckled, looking at him by the corner of your eyes.

     “We’re just fine, Sir” You guaranteed “We’re acting like cousins just like you instructed and we’ve been getting along pretty well… For about four months already” You smiled, mocking him about his concerns. He smiled back, nodding in understanding and sighing in relief, seeming satisfied by your answer as he molded the loaves of bread far more quickly than you, more used to it, with no concrete pattern, just a bunch of animal-shaped stuff that followed no rules.

    The only rule on the house was not to be romantically involved.

    You could remember your first day at the bakery ─ shaky hands and stiffened body giving away how nervous you were ─ and how you darted your eyes at every customer that came in, alarmed that someone could simply recognize that you were raised by a witch. Silly thought. Seungmin ─ as the sweetest human being on Earth ─ noticed how you were about to combust at any moment and simply stuck together with you, helping you out in absolutely every single thing you did until you got more comfortable.

     It didn’t go unnoticed.

    The moment the old lady ─ a faithful client who you treated by Miss ─ came into the place, she looked at you filled with interest, eyes studying you from head to toe before smiling approvingly. She rested a small box on the counter, tilting her head as she looked into your eyes, before looking at Seungmin with a suggestive look. She braced herself on the counter, looking at Mr.Kim excitedly and gesturing for him to get closer before finally speaking up.

   So little Seungmin finally got a fiancé? I never saw you around! She chuckled, taking your hand between hers. It’s a pleasure to meet you! I’m their best customer and also their lucky charm! She joked, patting the back of your hand. You threw her a desperate smile, darting your eyes between her and Mr.Kim before opening your mouth, ready to agree with her to get out of the situation.

    Oh, no! She’s his cousin! He hurried to say as soon as he recovered from his shock. My brother got really ill and… Well, we thought it would be better for her to come live with me instead of staying in her village… He lied, lowering his eyes to fake sadness, though the uncomfortableness was true.

    Oh! I didn’t know you have a brother! She hid her open mouth with her hands, eyes wide as she looked at you surprised before pity took over her. I’m so sorry, Sweetheart… If I knew I would have sent him some of these too... She shook the box in the air, and you could tell something hard was inside it.

    The woman opened the box to reveal two small bottles filled with a flower ─ that you identified as rosemary ─, some thin things that looked like pins and needles and a dark liquid that looked a lot like blood. You frowned, utterly confused by the utility of such a gross thing, yelping as the woman randomly tugged some strands of Seungmin and his father’s hair, tossing it inside each bottle ─ that opened smelled heavily like alcohol mixed with some kind of grape juice ─ before closing them and handing it to each one of them.

    She laughed at your baffled expression, hitting your shoulder lightly as she threw her head back, delighted by you. She got her hands on her hips before tilting her head and looking at you playfully, smiling kindly as she explained that it was a witch-bottle. You frowned again, looking at them cautiously to check if you should know what it was about, and the lady was quick to explain that it was a kind of protection that her family had been doing for ages and having incredible results regarding safety.

    Your uncle is too unlucky, poor thing… To be married to a witch and being cursed to be alone for the rest of his life… She sighed, looking at him filled with pity. At least I can do something about it, right? It’s a pleasure to keep you safe from those monsters! I should make one for you too, Sweetheart! Next month, I will bring it for the three of you!

   You shook your head to get out of your thoughts ─ brushing your hair with your fingers as you reminded how the woman had no mercy to take off those strands from your scalp ─, noticing how Mr.Kim arched his brows in a silent question, chuckling as you shrank as if you had been caught red-handed. You placed the molded pieces on the paddle, pretending you didn’t notice his look, and placing it inside the oven for them to bake.

    The fire painted their surface in an orangish light, and you stood there staring at them, drowning in the knowledge that you would never tell him that you were a witch, just like the one who destroyed his life. He placed his hand on your shoulder, smiling at you and looking proudly at the buns, humming in approval for your teamwork, and you forced a smile back at him before returning your gaze to the fire.

   Maybe one day he’d wish for you to be just like those bunny buns.

                                                                  /////

    You felt small and lost.

    You could recognize the oval square even if you had your eyes closed, having dreamed of it every single day of your life ─ the place where the nameless woman was burned to death ─ but this time there was no stake to be seen and no witch to be burned. The crowded place was bright and noisy; the lively music being played was mixing with the villagers’ chatting and sellers’ yelling, morphing into a loud buzz that bewildered you.

    The swinging pieces of meat hung on the hooks, the fresh smell of fruits and vegetables filling your nostrils, and all other kinds of things to be sold left no doubt: The market was being held.

   You held someone’s hand as you walked, head swiveling to take in everything that was happening around you, feeling overwhelmed as people bumped into you and the mass of fluttering fabrics passed in front of your eyes, darkening the bright place for a while. The feeling didn’t last much, though. The person guiding you finally stopped on a booth, bringing back the brightness and the peace you craved, before letting go of your hand to look for something.

   You lifted your head, fondness spreading in your heart as you looked at them.

   Faceless.

  You didn’t seem to mind it in the dream, catching a citric scent in the air that distracted you, prompting you to look at the booth and extend your hand to pick up the round orange right in front of your eyes. You tried to grab it once, fingers slipping on its peel, and then you used both hands, holding it like if it was your whole world for a few seconds before giggling happily.

  That must be the biggest orange in the world because it didn’t even fit in your hands.

    You played with it a little bit, ignoring the voices above your head and focusing solely on how the texture felt on your palms, groping it and spinning it over and over again as if it would give you some kind of answer. The voices began to sound clearer on the back of your head, sounding upset and assertive, both the seller and your guide quarreling about something you couldn’t understand. The seller snapped, and you caught something like frustration and jealousy in the air before he slammed the surface with anger.

    You got startled, yelping and jumping as you snapped your eyes at the man.

      Then everything happened too fast.

      First, you felt the orange off your palms, floating slightly above them, and you widened your eyes, very aware that it was an unforgivable mistake. Second, the guide’s hand snapped to the fruit, grabbing it in a flustered manner. Third, the man pointed at them, filled with rage and despise.

     Then he roared.

     “She’s a witch!” He accused, and the orange fell to the ground, rolling away “She first seduced the baker, and now this?!” You didn’t know what he meant by this, and neither did the men who came to restrain her out of nowhere, tugging her arms back as she struggled to get away from their grip.

     “He’s lying! It’s a lie!” She yelled in despair, trying to swing her limbs but being brutally held back “I’m not a witch!” She howled, and even if you couldn’t see the tears streaming down her face, you could hear it in her soul. The crowd gasped and cleared the way, terrified and curious, gathering around them to watch the woman being lifted off of the ground; legs kicking and jerking to hit whoever tried to handle her.

   “Take off her boots!” Someone screamed, and the man held her neck, choking her to take her under his control.

   You moved, trying to go closer to her, but someone held your arm firmly ─ though you could feel their hand was trembling in fear ─, and the next thing you know was that her legs were being held tight. They yanked her boots, exposing her bare feet, raising her sole for everyone to see.

   That was the first time you could actually see something in your dreams.

   Crooked whitish scars carved on her feet like high-relief waves.

   She was a witch.

   You felt your blood run cold; the grip on your arm disappeared and you snapped your eyes to the woman, feeling pity wash over you as you realized what was happening. You were seeing how the faceless woman was condemned as a witch, fated to burn to the ground… She looked right into your eyes, the fog that prevented you to see her face wavered in the air, dissolving suddenly and prompting everyone to gasp in shock.

    This was the first time you could see her face.

     Your face.

    You shot your eyes open, gasping for air, realizing someone was hovering over you ─ a blurry face right in front of yours, indistinguishable on your drowsy state ─ and before you could focus your eyes on them, their hands grabbed your shoulders firmly, startling you. They squeezed your shoulders, and you jolted your limbs, waggling them around to guarantee your freedom as you felt the grip tightening around you, their arms shaking your body.

    “No, please!” You bawled, struggling to get away from their hands “Seungmin! Mr.Kim! Help! Help!” You shouted, desperate as you finally got rid of their hands, jolting out of the bed to head to the window, ready to jump out of it and run away. You fumbled to open it, and the person rushed at you, taking you by the waist and pulling you back forcefully.

    “Wait!” Seungmin pleaded, strangled voice sounding in the air like a squeak “What are you doing?! It’s me!” His voice sounded right beside your ears, and for the first time, you tried to really look at him, glancing over your shoulder to meet his eyes right in front of yours. You sighed in relief ─ fear vanishing to give way to tiredness ─ and your relaxed expression morphed into an exasperated one before you hit his chest angrily.

    “What the hell, Seungmin?” You asked upset, uncovering your eyes to shoot him a glare “Who wakes someone up like a bloody ghost haunting the house, you son of a—“ He laughed, hands on his hips as he tilted his head, eyes glinting in mockery.

    “Oh, Seungmin! Help! Help!” He chanted, chuckling as you blushed, looking away in embarrassment “And now you call me names? Spare me!” He smirked, letting you go to sit on your bed before pinching his chin “Did you have a nightmare?” He asked curiously, eyes less playful and more concerned now.

    “What tipped you off?” You teased, walking towards your bed to sit beside him “To tell you the truth, the dream changed…” You muttered, unsure about what to say. It was just a dream, right? Should you bother him with it? You darted your eyes to him before settling them straight ahead “I saw the woman’s face… She was me” You glanced at him, insecure, and he snapped his eyes at you, clearly disturbed by what you had just said.

     “Oh” He bit his lip before lowering his eyes to his hands, intertwined on his lap “I had a dream too and… Well, I saw you at the stake” He glanced at you, and you felt as if the entire world had just stopped. You stared at him, completely expressionless as the shock drenched your mind “But— I mean! You know that my dreams aren’t always clear, right? It can mean literally anything!” He tried to reassure you, and you blinked at him.

    “What else could it mean? You saw me burning at the stake, Seungmin” You stated calmly, though your insides were twisting “My dreams aren’t usually this clear… Someone will accuse me at the market place and I’ll be burned” You stared at him blankly; your features unmatching to the thousand thoughts that ran wild inside your head or the tight knot forming in your throat, making you unable to say anything else.

    An odd feeling of acceptance tried to spread through your body.

    You were going to die.

     That was it.

    “You’re not going to die” He assured you, squeezing your hand in an attempt to soothe you, though his trembling hinted that he wasn’t much better himself “I mean… I had already tons of dreams that didn’t happen for real! It’s just a coincidence… Absolutely no one suspects you right now, not even dad! There is no way—“ You sighed, patting his hand on your lap, looking at him as if you had been already defeated.

    “There is nothing we can do about it” You shrugged “I had this dream every single day of my life, Seungmin… Deep down I knew what was bound to happen” You offered him a small smile, squeezing his hand back “Also, the third lesson is clear as the day… Do not bond with humans, their feelings are flickering as flames and will burn you to the ground” You recited, glancing at him “It’s your fault for loving me, you know?” You joked, and he pushed you lightly.

     “It’s not the time to be funny” He rolled his eyes “Especially when you’re not funny at all” He pointed out, chuckling when you slapped his shoulder playfully “That lesson doesn’t make any sense anyway, our feelings for you are deep and we won’t let you die” He promised, and this time you offered him a real smile, resting your head on his shoulder “You’re part of this family now and I don’t care whatever your grandma taught you before, we’re going to make through this” He rested his head on top of yours, remaining silent for a few minutes.

   The silence was reassuring, and you closed your eyes, breathing deeply.

    “Do you want to stay home today? I can go to the market by myself” He suggested, lifting his head to look at you, and you mimicked him, shaking your head.

    “It’s better to act as usual” You denied “Whatever has to happen will happen, so staying home will not help me at all” He nodded, looking through the window, and you followed his gaze “Will you stay by my side when it happens?” You asked quietly, and he pursed his lips, eyes darkening as he lowered his head.

    “If it happens” He corrected you sternly, and you nodded, holding his gaze in expectation “I won’t let it happen” He stated, averting his eyes and getting up from his bed “Some dreams are just dreams” He guaranteed, faking a smile at you, which you returned with an understanding nod and tight lips.

      Seungmin’s dreams weren’t just dreams.

      Those four months were more than enough for you to know that Seungmin wasn’t a mere human… You didn’t know if he had a witch ancestry, if Nature just seemed to have a liking to him or if the spirit of his deceased mother spoke to him while he slept, but Seungmin had a gift.

      He had premonitory dreams.

      The day he drank from the river was the first time he actually acted on those dreams, intrigued by a woman ─ that not so coincidentally looked just like you ─ calling him to the woods, tracing a path that headed to a precarious village. You were smart enough to assume that it was The Haven, and he was being guided to meet The Coven ─ more specifically you ─ but got lost in the woods, tricked by its enchantments. The dream didn’t show him any rivers but as soon as he found it, all lost and tired, he drank from it and the rest… Well, he was lucky you were around.

    Actually, you were meant to be around.

    Meant to be in each other’s life.

    “Now let’s go! Get your ass out of the bed and let’s shop! Your birthday is coming and I have to buy you a gift, right?” He said in a feigned cheerful tone, interrupting your thoughts, and you nodded, getting up from the bed and picking up your coat ─ Chan’s coat ─ to throw around your own shoulders “Hm… This is kinda old, right?” He asked unsurely, eyeing the coat warily.

     “Well, it’s the only one I have” You chuckled “Also, I know you just don’t like it because it belonged to Chan” You rolled your eyes, arms going through the sleeves to keep you warm. You held each front of your coat, wrapping them tightly around you, drowning in the warmth and the faint smell that reminded you of home ─ former home ─, studying carefully the worn-out brown filled with fondness.

    “He was ready to kill me” He pointed out matter-of-factly, brows raised to make his point “I think I have more than enough of a reason to hold a grudge against him” You laughed wholeheartedly, nodding in agreement “But that’s not the point! The winter is coming and you need to keep warm” You opened your mouth before closing it, holding back a joke about your cruel fate “This coat won’t be enough for you… Maybe I should buy you a new one?” He mused, and you shrugged.

    “I don’t see the point if I have this one” You admitted, and he rolled his eyes, heading to the door to open it and turning back to stare at you unimpressed. The cold weather seemed to freeze your face for a second, making you sneeze and shake your head vehemently to push away the feeling before scrunching your nose repeatedly, looking at Seungmin.

    “See? You’re weak to the winter” He chuckled, throwing his arm around your shoulders playfully, closing the door behind him to head to the oval square. The motion reminded you of how your Grandma used to wrap you in her arms before guiding you into the woods, teasing you about a certain warlock. You sighed, remembering how he just shrugged off that you gave away the very same coat you were wearing right now, even if he had it since he was a child… How he asked you on a date to that very same market you were wandering around.

     “So it’s settled! We’ll buy some fruits for your cake and then we’ll buy your coat” He decided, pleased with his plans, and once more getting you away from your thoughts. You walked side by side, heading to the booth you always bought your stuff from, studying the surroundings to see if you could spot better prices.

     You didn’t.

   But you spotted Caeli.

   That wasn’t the first time that you spotted Caeli on the streets. The Elder had been coming by herself every month ─ probably to buy some groceries to The Coven ─, and each time you followed her with your eyes, wondering why your grandma wasn’t with her. You should know why. You killed her. You lowered your gaze, quickening your pace to be followed by a confused Seungmin, looking around to spot whatever made you like this.

    “Did you see someone from your dream?” He whispered worried, and you shook your head, bumping into someone in your eagerness to reach for the booth “Oh, sorry! We didn’t pay atten—“ Seungmin stopped on his tracks, his apologetic expression morphing into a frown. You raised your head to apologize, and as soon as your eyes met you felt your head spinning. The air seemed to vanish from your lungs, heart bursting inside your chest and lips drying as you widened your eyes, flabbergasted.

     How long! How have you been?

     I’m sorry…

     I miss you.

     “Hi…” You said instead, awkwardly looking at him in a lack for better words “Chan” You added, hugging yourself as you averted your eyes from him, biting your lips. You felt Seungmin’s hold getting tighter, pulling you closer to him as he straightened his back to look somewhat threatening. You peeked at him, confused, before returning your gaze to Chan, who didn’t even spare him a glance, eyes fixed on you for the entire time.

     “Hey” He muttered, holding your gaze for a few seconds before averting his eyes ─ the tension too uncomfortable do bear ─, staring at Seungmin’s hand on your shoulder “You’re using my coat” He mentioned bluntly, unsure about what to say, and you nodded, looking away “The winter… Yeah” He trailed off, cringing at himself.

    Seungmin scoffed before suddenly reaching for your coat, trying to take it off, and you looked at him filled with confusion but complied anyway, extending your arms to help him out. The boy crumpled the coat to form a ball of fabric before pushing it on Chan’s hand, a serious expression on his face as his penetrating gaze fixed on Chan’s eyes in a silent warning. Chan took the coat, bewildered, looking at him questioningly before Seungmin gave him a tight smile.

    “I’m going to buy a new one for her” He announced, waiting for his answer but Chan just stared at him, hands clutching the piece, and jaw clenching before he forced his lips to quirk on an odd smile “You can have it back… Thank you for your coat” Seungmin sounded upset for some reason, and you frowned, feeling lost about what made him act like that.

    “Great” Chan hugged his coat; glancing at you with hurt written all over his face “I’m glad you guys are getting along just fine” He lied, lips quivering to maintain his fake smile “I…” He closed his mouth, looking at you filled with something you couldn’t put your finger on, eyes wavering before he looked away “We miss you” He concluded, clearing his throat before lifting his head.

    I miss you too.

    “It’s already done” You said sympathetically “I’m home now… And you guys are too” You forced a smile, and he nodded, resentful eyes focusing on you “I’m sorry for…” You gulped down, eyes darting away before returning to him “I’m sorry” You trailed off, and he nodded once more, lowering his head again, unable to look at you.

    “Well… I wish you the best” He finally said, refusing to fix his gaze on you, eyes wandering somewhere above your shoulder “I hope you can be happy here… And maybe we can bump into each other again” He chuckled, though it sounded more like a cough, and Seungmin grabbed your shoulder, rolling his eyes as he locked his gaze with Chan.

    “All the three of us know you’re lying” Seungmin pointed out boldly, surprising both of you “Don’t give her false hopes if you won’t act on your words…” He scoffed, looking away as he poked his cheek “You could have done something! You’re just a coward that would let her –“ You grabbed Seungmin’s wrist, throwing him a look so he would stop talking, and he bit his lip, looking at you distressed.

   The silence fell heavy upon you.

   The three of you glanced at each other, unsure about what to do now. Seungmin crossed his arms, clenching his jaw before uncrossing his arms and clenching his fists on each side of his body, nose scrunching slightly as he looked at Chan. You darted your eyes between them, tightening your grip around his wrist and clutching his sleeve with your free hand, concern written all over your face. Chan twisted his lips down, focusing on your hands on Seungmin’s arm for a second before he averted his eyes, furrowing his brows in a pained expression, upper lip trembling slightly.

     “Chan! I think I found something interesting!” Caeli called, and the three of you snapped your heads at her, the tension shattering for a moment “Oh…” She blurted, looking at you, but before she could say anything else Chan strode her way without looking back. He placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly before he walked straight ahead, and she held your gaze for a few seconds, conflicted, before giving up and following him.

     “What was that all about?” You asked upset, releasing Seungmin from your grip in a rough motion, eyes aimed at him accusatorily. He kept his eyes on the path they traced, frowning, before he finally turned them to you, grimacing unsatisfied as he looked into your eyes seeming bitter about it all.

     “He’s a coward” He spat angrily “He doesn’t deserve you” He added, locking his arm with yours so you could continue your shopping “All of them… They could have done something” He sighed “They just chose to do nothing” He said, looking at you resentfully, eyes holding so much sadness that it just clicked.

     They would just watch as you burned.

                                                                       /////

      At first, you thought you were hearing voices.

      You shoved your hands into your new coat’s pockets, nodding as Seungmin kept blabbering about how he helped his father to bake your birthday cake, feeling all proud because it turned out to be pretty tasty and he was sure you would love it. You laughed wholeheartedly, congratulating him for finally being able to wake up before you, excitedly guessing what Mr.Kim would be fixing for lunch as you made your way back home. The conversation flowed well enough until you heard your grandma’s voice resounding inside your head, prompting you to look around the place, confused with the situation.

      Maybe you were just hearing things.

      Eighteen years, put some sense into your head! You shot your eyes up, alarmed, head snapping at Seungmin to search for any signs that he heard it too but he kept guessing the dishes, completely oblivious to the voice. It’s not the time to play house! It’s dangerous! She yelled, clearly upset, and you stopped in your tracks, head swiveling to see if you could spot her in the crowd but she was nowhere to be seen.

     Of course, she wasn’t… She was dead.

     “… Or maybe he bought those potatoes to –“ He interrupted his train of thoughts abruptly, glancing at you, noticing that you seemed too far away from your conversation right now “Everything okay? You look like a ghost” He pointed out, nudging you so you would look at him and voice your concerns.

     They will burn her at the stake! You winced under the intensity of her tone, ducking your head into your shoulders as you looked slowly to left and then to right, getting a look from Seungmin, who seemed to think that you had lost your last straw of sanity.

     “Did you hear it?” You whispered, and he looked at you as if you had grown a third head “It’s… Her voice” You muttered, grabbing his shoulder to get some support, feeling your legs going weak “I think Wiha is alive… And I think she’s here” You felt a lump in your throat, obliging you to force the words to come out as you felt the world spinning around.

      You stumbled over your feet but Seungmin quickly adjusted himself to catch you by the waist, hand darting to cup your cheek as he tried to catch your gaze, searching for some sign that you were still here with him. You opened and closed your mouth a bunch of times ─ a string of voice coming out from you but no sentences being said ─, worrying him by the second and prompting him to shake you lightly to get you out from your stupor.

     “She’s dead” He assured you, patting your face continuously to get your attention “It must have something to do with your memories… You said yourself that your birthday could worsen it” He reminded you, tone careful and eyes attentive on your figure. You nodded, finally focusing your gaze on him, the dryness on your throat still making you unable to answer him.

     She’s gonna die just like her! Is that what you want, son?! She yelled on your head, and this time dizziness wasn’t the only thing you felt. The feelings boiling inside your chest didn’t have a name or a form in your head; it was only a mix of sensations that fogged your mind and spun your stomach, prompting you to clench your fists and your jaw as you felt the resentment burning into your body before dissolving into anger.

     Don’t you dare to blame me! It was your fault for being a coward! You widened your eyes as Mr.Kim’s voice sounded inside your head; snapping your eyes to Seungmin and slapping his chest lightly a bunch of times to get his attention, making him whine and try to get away from you.

   “She’s with your father” You stated, gasping as you looked at him flabbergasted before sprinting. He couldn’t even react as you ran for dear life, leaving the startled boy behind for a few moments before he mimicked you, running the best he could. You ran as if your life depended on it ─ lungs burning and muscles screaming for some mercy as you forced yourself not to cry, putting a lot more effort into your sprint than necessary ─, without even noticing how the wind startled to whistle around you.

      The gale built up quickly ─ just like the turmoil inside you ─, and suddenly things around you startled to twirl in the air as your hair whipped your face vigorously, and the torrent of thoughts stormed inside your head. There were so many questions you had to make! So many things you had to know! You couldn’t believe she was alive! She had been alive for four months while you thought you were some kind of murderer!

      How was she?!

     Why didn’t she contact you earlier?!

     Why wasn’t she contacting you now?

     Why was she yelling at your host instead of looking for you…?

      Four months… Four months to tell you that you weren’t a murderer… Four months and none of them told you anything. They just kept you in the dark like… Like you weren’t one of them anymore. Well, you kinda got yourself into it. That was what you asked for after all… You didn’t think you belonged there anymore and, clearly, they didn’t think it either.

       So why was she here?

       I wasn’t being a coward! I was protecting The Coven! I was protecting my family! She sounded distressed, voice overflowing with anger and frustration as she roared each sentence as if she had said it a million times already ─ maybe to convince herself or maybe to convince someone else ─ and still couldn’t get it across. You kept your pace, stumbling over your feet as you spotted your house ahead, ignoring Seungmin’s screams for you to slow down and giving everything you had inside you to get there, to finally see her with your own eyes once more.

     Protecting your family?! I’m your family, mother! You should be protecting my wife! You should be protecting your granddaughter! He howled as soon as you reached the front door. You froze, hand on the doorknob and eyes wide as saucers as you let your mouth fall agape, breathing sharply “If you can’t recall it, she died! She died because instead of saving her you chose to kidnap my daughter and leave my wife to burn at the stake! You chose them! And you can’t blame me for choosing her now!” He grunted, his voice raising by the second.

     It was like everything inside you had just stopped the middle way.

     The wind around you seemed to flinch, the heavy silence that followed its previous buzz made your head empty, almost like you were too hollow to even sense anything right now. You trembled from head to toes, hands fumbling to turn the doorknob and finally give you access to your living room as you dragged your feet, forcing yourself in. Empty. You felt your heart racing in your chest; the flickering thoughts on your mind accused you of a million things but the only one you could hold on to for the time being was that you were crazy.

       You must be crazy.

      “Do you think that was what I wanted?” She muttered; voice faltering, too heavy with the weight of her regret “If not her it would be all of us, son… My duty wasn’t with her… It was with all of us” She continued, and this time you could tell the voices came from the kitchen, letting out a relieved sigh “I must protect all of us even if it means someone has to be left behind” You heard Seungmin right next to you, and you snapped your head to him, a finger placed on your lips asking for some silence, getting a confused tilting of the head from the boy.

    “Interesting thing that the only one you wanted to leave behind was a human” He scoffed, and Seungmin shot his head up, following your gaze to the kitchen as he heard the grudge on his father’s voice “Interesting that you didn’t leave my daughter behind! You took her away from me! And for what?!” He yelled, smacking the table before breathing deeply, trying to recompose himself “Look, it’s not my fault you couldn’t take care of her… You failed, mom” He sighed tiredly at the same time you and Seungmin peeked over the doorframe “You failed at protecting every single one of us… And now she’s with me… My bunny bun came back to me and I won’t let you take her away again” The flickering figure of your grandmother faced Mr.Kim filled with resentment, face contorted on a hurt grimace that even the low-quality energy projection couldn’t hide.

     You felt Seungmin flinching right next to you.

     You felt your knees giving away as you supported yourself on the doorframe.

     You felt like the entire world just disconnected from your body.

     “I will do what you never could… I’ll protect my family” He announced, oblivious to both of his children flabbergasted at the door, and you brought your hand to your chest, feeling all the air vanishing from your lungs “Now tell Isati to stop this goddamn projection and stop bothering me!” He continued, and not even Seungmin’s hold was enough for your legs to support you “I have a birthday to spend with my daughter for the first time in sixteen years and you won’t take this away from me again” You fell on your knees, the loud thud finally getting their attention.

      Their eyes snapped at your figure on the floor, alarmed.

      Seungmin kneeled beside you, trying to hold your shoulders to convey some kind of comfort as he stole some glances at both of the figures standing in the kitchen, taken aback by everything he had just listened to. You lifted your wavering eyes to Wiha’s figure, opening and closing your mouth at a loss for words, before glancing to Mr.Kim ─ your father ─ with tears streaming down your face, shrinking, your whole body shaking in shock as you tried to make sense of everything you just heard.

      Wiha kidnapped you and took away your memories.

      Mr.Kim was your father and he hid it from you.

      Your mother was burned at the stake.

     “My dreams… They’re about my mother? It was never about me? ” You asked on a string of voice, eyes fixed on the floor as the realization hit you “Why?” You grunted, lifting your eyes to glare at them, enraged “Why did you hide it from me?! Why?!” You howled, clenching your fists as you smacked the floor, face twisted in disgust “It was my fault, wasn’t it?!” You yelled, getting up, snapping your head at your father before looking at Wiha “She died because of me, didn’t she?! You hid it from me because I was the one to blame, wasn’t it?!” You demanded to know when you met their silence, scoffing as they stared at you speechless.

     “We don’t know” Wiha rushed to say but your father snorted incredulously.

     “She didn’t do anything” He hissed, glaring at her “It wasn’t her fault!” She looked at him tiredly, and you noticed for the first time how she seemed to have aged on these past few months everything she didn’t on this past few years “It wasn’t her fault! You don’t know what happened!” He insisted, and this time she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

     “Neither do you” She stated matter-of-factly “The only one who knows what happened now is her” She looked at you, and you couldn’t help but grimace, laughing humorlessly as if she had said a great joke.

     “Yeah, if you hadn’t taken away my memories!” You sneered, and she nodded in resignation. You groaned, pulling your hair in frustration before letting it go and glaring at her “And you don’t even care! Why the hell are you here anyway?! You don’t care about me! You don’t care about your son! You didn’t care about my mother! You don’t care about anyone!” You yelled, gesturing exasperatedly as you let all your rage unravel “You only care about yourself and your damn lessons and that damn coven!” You groaned, feeling the tears coming back to your eyes.

     “Y/N, calm down” She demanded, looking around worriedly “You’re gonna get unwanted attention” She warned, watching how the wind started to twirl again, the gale forming against your will and lifting the furniture that smashed on the walls and crushed in smaller pieces that kept hitting everything around.

    “Y/N, calm down!” You scorned, a mocking tone that dripped sarcasm “Y/N, don’t forget the lessons!” You sing-sang, scoffing “Y/N, do this! Y/N, do that! Y/N, listen to me!” You howled, clenching your jaw as you tried to stop your tears, punching the doorframe so the pain would bring your mind back in place “I’m not your puppet! You can’t play with me forever!” You screamed, glaring at her “I won’t go back to you! Try kidnapping me again and erasing my memories if you’re so worried about me!” You laughed, pressing your eyes to calm down.

    “I did what was best for all of us” She croaked “I was protecting you! I’m trying to protect you now” She assured, eyes prickling with tears “Please, calm down… They will come to check on you… They will see it” She gestured around “You’re gonna burn” She wailed, approaching you.

    “So they’re gonna burn with me” You hissed “We can only have two culprits… It was either me or them, right? So let us both burn to death” You decided, eyes overflowing with rage as you made your way outside. You ignored their voices behind you, asking you to calm down, and their attempts to get closer to you to hold you back, feeling all the turmoil inside you oozing from each pore of your body in an outburst you never had before.

     The wind around you clicked and crackled on your ears, engulfing you on an endless twirling and pushing everything away, clearing your way as you headed to the oval square. The villagers ran around the place ─ terrified of your figure slowly raising from the ground, supported by the whirlwind under your frame ─, and some of them were brutally wiped by the turmoil, crashing against the floor or the walls and falling unconscious to the ground, enticing screams and cries for help all around.

     “Y/N, stop it!” You heard Seungmin scream on top of his lungs, trying to fight the wind wall that pushed him away “You have to calm down!” He continued but you didn’t pay any attention to his pleads, raising your hand to hit people with a huff of air “You’re better than that! Don’t do it!” He begged, and this time you glanced at him, watching as he squirmed under your powers.

    “They don’t deserve my mercy!” You roared, gesticulating vehemently to keep the wind whipping everyone around, tossing people away “They killed and hunted us for ages!” You added, grunting, snapping your head around to look for new targets “It’s their time to suffer! It’s their time to die!” You cried, raising yourself even more to get a better look around the place.

     Terror was all you could see.

    A giggle resounded on your right ─ soft and distant like a twinkling fairy ─, and you snapped your head, reaching out to take down whoever was taking your rage lightly but meeting no one in sight. You swiveled your head, searching for the source of these giggles but everytime you blasted your power in their directions, there was no one on the receiving end of your fury. You gestured blindly to hit them, flustered by the situation as you couldn’t spot anyone apart from the people who were already in the ground, whimpering.

    Hey, Bunny Bun! The voice faltered, thin like a string in the air, and for the first time, you met someone in your sight. Hop, hop to the hole! It’s time to go home, let’s go! The wavering image showed your father laughing, offering his hand to someone behind him that you couldn’t see. The giggles sounded once more, even more distant this time, and the scene dissolved into the air as if it never displayed in front of you, to begin with.

    You stumbled over your whirlwind, losing your balance for a split of a second.

    It’s too soon for bunnies to hop! A woman groaned jokingly, and you turned around to see her running your way, obviously pretending to put some effort into it to catch someone right in front of her, enticing once more the giggles. You faltered once more, body almost falling to the ground as you lowered yourself, wind flickering around you as if it was about to give in at any moment.

     It felt like your head was about to explode.

    Mom! You turned around once more but there was nothing to be seen, just the screaming voice cracking at the end, choked by their own emotions. They sounded miserable and hurt, and you could almost hear their struggle as they repeated it over and over again before a whisper caught your attention.

    Sleep…The buzzing inside your mind could either be because of those voices or from the enchantment you could hear clearly on the air, the raspy tune from your Grandmother scratching the back of your mind, just like a memory you couldn’t really recall but you tried to. Somehow, you just knew in the bottom of your heart what it was about… It was from the day she kidnapped you… The day your mother was burned.

    It was all the air inside your lungs just vanished right there.

    The twirling wind sounded like a whistling kettle, taking over your senses and overwhelming you, and the endless turmoil inside your chest seemed to take your breath away, forming a lump on your throat and suffocating you. The sound of the giggles and voices kept playing on a loop inside your mind, sounding softer and even more distant by the second, almost like you were losing your consciousness, slowly sliding to your death. The dizziness overtook your senses, and before you knew it, the darkness engulfed you and dragged you down on a spiraling endless fall.

     You were going to burn to the ends of hell.        

                                                                      ////

      The slap on your face brought you back to life.

      The darkness dissolved into blurriness as you opened your eyes, duplicated images jumbling right in front of you and making it impossible to figure out what was happening at first. You felt your head heavy, hanging to the side before you could try to straighten up but failing as it hung forward with a bob, startling you. You tried to adjust your vision, blinking repeatedly as you widened and rolled your eyes, feeling your head spinning while hearing an endless ringing in your ears.

     You felt like a piece of trash.

     The next thing you realized was that your limbs were bent back, tied around a wood pillar, immobilizing you in an uncomfortable position that gave freedom only to your head. You tried to jerk your shoulders, a vain attempt to release yourself, and not only your weak motions weren’t enough to free you but also your bad behavior was met with a harsh blow on your stomach. You hunch your back by reflex, the restraints holding you in place and pressing against your tender flesh, hurting you.

     The pain helped to awaken your senses.

     “By the power vested in me!” Someone’s voice rang in your mind, yelling to the crowd, and you finally got to turn your head, staring blankly at them “I declare this woman as guilty of witchcraft and wizardry!” He announced, and the crowd cheered, croaking and growling before the man raised his hands in a silent ask to continue, “The witch may pay for her sins burning at the stake!” He declared, and the hooraying increased.

   You lowered your head, meeting the straw around your feet on the wooden platform where you were standing, displayed like a piece of meat to be roasted. You closed your eyes for a few seconds, sighing as you took everything in. You were going to die ─ just like in Seungmin’s dream ─, and it was your entire fault. The emptiness you felt that day drenched into your bones once more, and the sudden realization that there was nothing more ahead of you burbled in your chest as a mix of relief and despair, morphing into overwhelming hopelessness.

    The end of the line… It felt much creepier than you thought.

    “Does the witch have anything to say on her behalf?” The man asked you with judging eyes, and it was obvious that he didn’t care about anything you had to say. You scoffed, lifting your head and roaming your eyes through the crowd, meeting their disgust and the yearning glint to see you burn to ashes before finding your father and brother’s watery eyes.

    Both of them stood right there in front of you with agonized eyes searching for yours, and their face twisted in a frown, overwhelmed with regret and the pain of losing you. The brief moment seemed to awaken Seungmin’s anger, and he howled and protested, trying to get closer to you, but your father was quick to hold him back, restraining him as he struggled to free himself. You watched how he wailed and cried, his efforts to fight for his freedom decreasing before he turned his back at you, crying on your father’s shoulder. You watched as your father sucked his lower lip, holding Seungmin for dear life as he watched you displayed there, eyes filled with fear of losing not only you but also Seungmin.

   You felt the pity wash all over you.

   Pity for your father who would witness his loved ones burning not once but twice.

   Pity for your brother who had his hands tied down and couldn’t help you as he wanted.

   Pity for yourself who would burn for being too reckless.

  “Well, if the culprit doesn’t have anything to sa—“ He continued but you were fast to interrupt him, trying to fix a smile on your face as you looked straight into your father’s eyes.

    “It’s too soon for bunnies to hop” Your voice faltered, and you cursed yourself, trying to ignore the obvious quivering on the corner of your lips as you smiled to him “I’ll hop straight home…” You felt your eyes watering and you looked up to hold your tears back before returning your gaze to him, brows twitching for a second “… Into mom’s arms” You concluded, feeling the lump on your throat getting thicker but refusing to let him see your tears.

     The priest didn’t seem as touched as you, gesturing to the man beside you to set the straw under your feet on fire and making you inhale sharply, closing your eyes to wait for your cruel destiny. The warmth enveloped your feet ─ emanating slowly to your body as a warning that prompted you to open your eyes and fix your gaze on the dancing flames ─, creeping in an insufferable pace as if it was slowly welcoming you to your fate.

    The casting glow hurt your eyes and the constant howling and growling from the crowd seemed to make its way to your brain, reminding you of your dreams ─ the way the flames engulfed your mother’s body as she screamed her lungs out in agony ─, and flipping a switch inside you. It was like you suddenly realized you were going to die. The flames crackled and suddenly licked your body for a split of a second, making you jolt your feet away just to be brutally held back by the restraints, and that was it.

     You were going to burn.

     The realization made you wriggle ─ wrestling against the ropes that firmly held your body on the stake ─ and the fierce struggling just served to bury the ropes on your flesh, hurting and marking you. You widened your eyes as the flames rose once again, practically mocking your efforts to get away from this, as you intensified your struggling, jerking your limbs for dear life and begging for mercy as you bawled just like your mother did, crying and wailing to anyone who would want to hear.

     The next minute was a mess.

     First, you whimpered as you closed your eyes shut and tried to force your powers out of you in hope that the wind could shut down the flames and release you. The attempt was met with an unbearable wave of exhaustion through every fiber of your body that made you tremble, feeling drained out from your earlier outburst. The only hope you had vanished just like this, leaving your head spinning and your limbs limp as the flames scorned you once again.

    Second, you heard a roar ─ a powerful war cry that spread around as a blast of wind sweeping everything ─ that made you raise your head to meet whoever was yelling like this, ready to save you. The male voice was followed by a few female ones that sounded wild and furious, and as you heard the loud “Enough!” that baffled everyone, you met his eyes. The dark brown eyes buried into yours filled with fierce determination and something else, softer, that made your heart skip a beat.

     Third, the girls that walked beside Chan threw their spears with terrific accuracy, taking advantage of his blast to boost their attacks. The spears impaled the priest and the executioner’s head at the same time the flames under your body vanished with the wind, and you didn’t try to look behind you to see their bodies lying on the floor. They didn’t even wait for their weapon to hit them ─ confident enough on their habilities ─, ordering their allies around and taking the lead.

    The Coven was here for you.

    You could only watch as some familiar faces ─ such as The Elders and their children ─ and some unfamiliar ones ─ all of them armed females with a feral aura ─ charged towards the crowd filled with determination and resentfulness. The villagers didn’t seem more pleased than your allies, and as soon as they realized the situation, the counterattack was put into action, resulting in a fierce battle between both parts, though pretty unbalanced.

    You observed as Seungmin and your father sprinted to get to the stairs that gave access to your platform, eager to release you from the stake, but some of the villagers seemed to have the same idea. You were quite sure they weren’t really interested in saving you, though. They fought in the stairs, changing their goal of release you to prevent anyone from reaching and hurting you. The anxiety took over you, and you started to roam your eyes through the crowd, searching for someone who could help you get rid of your ties.

    “Don’t use more force than necessary!” You could hear your Grandma yell, and you followed her with your eyes as she grabbed several faces by the minute, putting everyone she could touch to sleep. The Earthy Elder appeared out of nowhere by her side, laughing maniacally as she buried her hands to the ground, making the earth shake and knocking down some villagers. She twisted her hands and suddenly the ground turned into quicksand that swallowed people slowly “Yerkir!” Wiha hissed, throwing her quick warning look.

    “What?! I’m not even touching them!” She yelled in amusement, laughter sounding in the air in contrast with the screams and growls around her “Dinta! Behind you!” Yerkir snapped her eyes to the side, and you followed her gaze, stunned to meet an old lady dodging a sharp blow aimed at her head without even looking back, lowering her torso and turning back in one quick motion. She didn’t take more than a second to fix her gaze on her attacker before skillfully raising her hand and burying her blade into the man’s neck as if it was nothing, averting her trained eyes to look for a new prey.

     She looked ferocious.

     “Watch out!” You heard Changbin yelling right in front of you, and for a brief moment, you thought you were screwed, turning your head around to spot your aggressor but the blow never came as no one was beside you. You returned your gaze to him to see him ramming into some a random villager by the shoulder, taking him to the ground before raising his gaze to one of the girls that accompanied Chan earlier “Looks like I got your back” He smiled teasingly at her.

      She adjusted her longbow in a quick motion, positioning her feet quickly to get some stance before nocking and setting her arrow, drawing the bowstring and resting her fingers on her cheek as she aimed right into Changbin’s face. He paled, widening his eyes and raising his hands in defeat but the girl grinned, tilting the bow to the side and releasing the arrow that flew directly to a man behind Changbin, going through his flesh and getting him to the ground, his improvised weapon falling from his hand.

     “Now we’re even” She snorted, and you could see the smugness oozing from her as she lowered her bow before looking at you, arching her brow “Prince charming didn’t come to help you out yet?” She sneered, jumping on the platform effortlessly ─ though the height wasn’t really negligible ─ and looking around the crowd to spot anything concerning.

    “Y/N!” Chan chirped, propelling his body with some wind to jump on the platform, rushing to your side, and resting his forehead on yours, cupping your cheeks ever so gently as he sighed in relief before looking deeply into your eyes. It wasn’t the best moment to feel embarrassed but feeling the warmth of his hold on you after so long made your heart race, and you felt your face burning as his thumbs rubbed circles on your cheeks.

    “Cut out the crap” She scoffed, and you could see in the corner of your eyes how she frowned with disgust as she took a knife out of nowhere, heading behind you and gripping your wrists to chop the ropes and release your hands. You fell forward, tangling your arms around Chan’s neck for some support, and he promptly moved his hands to your waist, trying to balance you as the girl squatted to chop the lower ropes, releasing your legs, “All ready” She said, dusting her hands after she sheathed the knife.

     “Can you stand?” Chan asked thoughtfully, helping you to place your feet on the floor. You felt your knees giving out as soon as you touched the ground, unable to feel anything as your legs were completely numb. He held you tightly, bringing your body closer to his before placing a kiss on your temple, “That’s okay, I’m here for you” He whispered soothingly, returning one of his hands to your cheek.

     “That’s enough, Prince Charming” She grimaced, scrunching her nose as she looked both of you from head to toes, disgusted “We have to take her away from here and—“ She started to say but Seungmin’s terrified scream interrupted her and got you snapping your head to him, startled. He fell to the floor, butt thudding on the platform as he stumbled over his feet trying to get away from the girls that held their knives up, prepared to kill them without a second thought.

    “They’re friends!” You yelled at the same time your father fell to the floor, just like Seungmin, reaching out for them as you tried to disengage from Chan to jolt their way to help them out. The motion was useless since you still couldn’t feel your legs, and as you fell to the ground ─ unable to stand up ─ you gathered all your remaining energy to give the last blow, managing to get a blast of air out of your palms to knock the girls down the stairs.

     You didn’t even feel your face hitting the floor as you passed out.

                                                                            /////

    You woke up with a terrible headache.

    You opened your eyes, staring at the blurry ceiling upon you as you felt your head throbbing, sighing in relief as you realized that you were back home. Although you still couldn’t see clearly, you would recognize the wooden beam and the lazy vines that hovered over your head throughout your entire life anywhere, even with your eyes closed. The familiar surroundings soothed you, and Vivi untangled herself from the beams to poke you playfully, making you giggle and try to push her away.

    Your hand didn’t move an inch.

    You looked down your arms, noticing the leaves that wrapped your forearms before locking your eyes with two hands holding yours, feeling your heart skip a beat. Chan was sitting on the floor in a clearly uncomfortable position that would gift him with a terrible backache in the future; his head rested on the mattress, plump lips brushing your knuckles as a trickle of drool glistened on the corner of his lips. You chuckled; studying how his fingers intertwined with yours and feeling your heart swell as he mumbled something in his sleepy state, nuzzling your hand before falling silent again.

     You reached out for his hair, gently playing with his locks as you patted his head, smiling when you noticed the corner of his lips twitching, almost like he was giving a smile of his own. You brushed his hair away from his forehead to get a better look at his face, staring at his peaceful features. You couldn’t help but admire his beautiful long eyelashes adorning his eyes, his blond wavy locks that framed his face, and his soft traits that gave him an angelic aura.

      He was ethereal.

      The endearing moment was broken by someone clearing their throats, and you snapped away from your daydreaming, darting your eyes around the place to meet the source of this new sound. You met your father’s eyes, his amused smirk was somewhat mocking, and he arched a brow at you before staring at the boy that held his little girl’s hand. You felt your face burning and the urge to pull your hand away, but you didn’t, choosing to stare back at him as you waited for him to say something.

      “He’s a good boy” He stated simply, returning his gaze at you “He stood up all night to take care of you… He even plastered some ointment on your bruises and bandaged you with these leaves” He got up from the chair, adjusting Seungmin’s head to lay on the wall as he did so, walking your way and fixing Chan’s coat around his shoulders “I told him you would wake up by the morning but I guess young love is not only blind but also deaf” He chuckled, and you hid your face behind your free hand.

    “Please” You whined embarrassed, and he laughed wholeheartedly. You smiled at him, enjoying the sound of his laughter and looking fondly at him before your smile dissolved into a frown and you averted your eyes, an unsettling feeling inside your chest. He looked at you questioningly, and you bit your lip before returning your gaze at him “Why didn’t you tell me that I was your daughter? Did you know all along?” You asked curiously and yet hurt, getting a resigned sigh from him.

    “You know? When Seungmin first came home with this coat…” He touched the fabric over Chan’s shoulder, smiling nostalgically at it “Your mother gave me this as a gift for helping her… She didn’t want to stay with The Coven but she couldn’t simply go to another village without a single thing… It would be really suspicious and dangerous, so Wiha brought her to me because… Well…” He trailed off, flourishing his fingers right upon Chan’s face.

    You gasped when the air wavered around him, revealing a completely different face.

    “I could help her to go unnoticed” He explained, gesturing to interrupt his enchantment “Anyway, I knew you were around when he came back with it, and then a couple of days after you appeared in my living room” He chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest “You look just like your mother… I had no doubts you were my daughter” He admitted, and you frowned, lowering your gaze.

    “So why didn’t you tell me?” You insisted to know, and he walked to the other side of your bed, sitting there before holding your free hand, looking into your eyes filled with regret.

    “I was afraid… What if it pushed you away? I didn’t know what Wiha did to you throughout all those years… What if you thought I was the enemy? What if you hated me? What if you couldn’t handle this? I had just gotten you back… I didn’t want to lose you again” He sighed, averting his eyes “I’m sorry… I should have known better” He caressed your cheek, and you leaned against his palm, closing your eyes.

    Could you really blame him?

    You didn’t think so.

    The door creaked as it was being opened, revealing your Grandma behind it ─ head ducking into her shoulder and uneasy eyes darting between both of you ─, bringing a heavy silence that fell upon you three uncomfortably. Your father straightened his back before getting up, clearing his throat and rubbing his nape as your Grandma shifted her weight from left to right, building enough tension to cut with a knife. You felt your body stiff as you tried to think about what to say, gulping down as you glanced over your father before returning your gaze to your Grandma.

    “I think you need to talk” Your father stated kinda wary, pursing his lips “And I probably should go help out there” He mumbled, heading to the door. The Elder stepped aside to let him pass, following him with her gaze before sighing and lowering her head, closing the door behind her and sauntering your way, sitting beside you. The silence that settled between you two was uncomfortable, and both of you stood there, staring at each other before she cleared her throat, decided to break the ice.

   “I didn’t mean to… I was trying to protect you” She muttered, looking at you “I guess all I did was push you towards the danger… I’m sorry” She had sincerity in her eyes, and her lips twisted down ─ hinting how ashamed she felt for everything she did ─ eyes wavering to hold your gaze “I couldn’t save your mother… The Coven was establishing itself at the time… It was five of us and a bunch of kids to take care of” She sighed, lowering her gaze to the floor “I know it’s no excuse for what I’ve done but at the time it seemed like the only logical choice…” Her voice faltered, and you tilted your head, looking at her filled with pity.

    “That’s a lot to take in” You admitted, sighing heavily “You lied to me throughout my whole life… You stole me from my home and you erased all my memories…” She tightened her lips, eyes watering as she nodded, expecting your answer though you could see she was hurt “… And yet I missed you every day of these four months” She snapped her head up, looking taken aback by your input “I love you, Grandma” You smiled at her, and this time she let some tears fall from her eyes, emotional “And with time, we’ll be able to get through this” You promised.

    “I love you too” She said, rolling her eyes up to look at the ceiling as she wiped her tears quickly, pretending to be allergic to something as she sniffed, rubbing her nose and averting her eyes from you. She fought back a smile, rubbing her eyes once more and nodding in acknowledgment “And I can give your memories back if you want… I kept them close to you just in case” She chuckled, looking up. You followed her gaze, arching your brows in surprise.

    “Vivi?!” You widened your eyes, flabbergasted “You’re kidding me!” You stared at the vines, amazed by the possibility of getting your memories back and remember every day you spent with your mother and your father as a kid. You reached for Vivi, caressing her as you thought about all the things you would get back, all of your memories with your family… All the jokes, all the cuddling, all the laughter… All the love.

    “The only thing is…” She trailed off, staring at Vivi with unfocused eyes “The only motive she’s alive is to keep your memories” She tried to explain, pursing her lips “She’ll die as soon as you get them back” She added, approaching the vines to caress them with such fondness that it made you wonder for a moment.

   “There are things that I feel like I need to know… Things I want to remember” You admitted, studying the lovely vine tangling on your grandma’s hand fondly of her “So much must have happened in two years… There are so many memories I wish to get back…” You felt a lump forming on your throat as you reached out for Vivi, caressing the vines as the guilt sank into your body.

   Chan nuzzled your hand, mumbling something in his sleep, and interrupting your train of thoughts. He whined, hands letting go of yours to rub his lower back as he frowned in pain, scrunching his nose and lifting his head from the bed. He groaned, hands going to his neck now as he stretched his neck in a circular motion, muttering something under his breath and finally opening his eyes, still sleepy.

    “I mean… I have plenty of ways to get new memories to cherish now too” You smiled fondly, studying his bloated face in amusement. He rubbed his eyes and groaned once more, pressing his cheeks to try to feel more awake, making you chuckle. The bed shifted as your Grandma got up, prompting you to look at her. She had twinkling eyes and a knowing smirk plastered on her face as she nodded in acknowledgment, dusting her clothes off.

    “Well, take your time to decide what you want to do” She reassured you, averting her eyes to Chan before giggling, “I think I should go help the others too… We have a lot to discuss with all the ruckus in the village” She headed to the door, throwing a last look over her shoulder “He didn’t stop thinking about you once throughout all those months… Just saying, in case he trails off” She chuckled, closing the door behind her.

    You couldn’t believe your Grandma… You stared blankly at the door, blinking a couple of times before you averted your eyes to Chan, dumbfounded, noticing the way his ears seemed to be on fire. You felt your heart racing as he opened his mouth to say something but closed it right after, looking away from you and rubbing his nape, embarrassed. He didn’t look like he was sleepy anymore but he looked just as lost as when he opened his eyes, and somehow you found it endearing.

    “Good morning, handsome warlock” You joked, and you enjoyed the way his face flushed in a bright red, which made you chuckle “So a bird told me your head is all filled with me…” You said on a sing-song tune, holding back your smile when he groaned, hiding his face behind his hands. You stared at him, wondering how he could be this shy after holding you and flirting like he had been before you ran away.

    “Good morning…” He answered as if he had been defeated, getting up from the floor and glancing at you shyly “How are you feeling?” He asked, ignoring his own embarrassment for a moment to reach out for your forearms, inspecting your bandages “Does it still hurt?” He pressed your arms with a little bit more strength than before, and you shut your eyes closed, hissing.

   “Stop it!” You whined, and he immediately let go of your arms, chortling when you pouted, crossing your arms over your chest “I’m feeling just fine!” You grumbled, and he sat beside you, smiling at you as if he thought you were the most amusing thing in this world. You sat on your bed, intertwining your fingers as you stole some glances at him, suddenly feeling shy with his presence so close to you “I… Thank you… For saving me” You floundered, gulping down and fixing your gaze on your hands laying on your lap.

    “I don’t think I deserve this… All of us worked together” He shrugged, though you could see how his cheeks were dusted with pink “I… Well… So…” He stuttered, clenching his fists on his lap as he tried to say whatever he wanted to say to you, prompting you to rest your hand on his leg to reassure him “You’re eighteen now!” He blurted on a high pitched tone, eyes snapping to your hand lying on his thigh.

     “Yeah, kinda what happens when you have your birthday at seventeen” You joked, and he chuckled at you, nodding “So… I’m officially a witch now” You cleared your throat, averting your gaze to the door, feeling your face burning at your hidden suggestion “And you… Well… So what about it?” You trailed off, retracting your hand from his thigh.

    “I… I made you a birthday gift… I mean... It’s nothing fancy like a coat but I made it especially for your eighteenth birthday and it’s totally okay if you don’t want to accept it! I mean, you may not even need it! Actually, it’s not really useful but it has a lot of meaning to it, and—“ You laughed as he rambled, pushing him lightly as you looked at him playfully.

    “You didn’t need to” You cut him off, and he blushed once more, lowering his head.

    “Well, I kinda did…” He mumbled, searching for something in his pockets. You watched him curiously as he finally found it, handing you a small bracelet that seemed to have been braided by someone. The piece had eight beads adorning it like, and you arched your brows as you took the gift in your hands, staring at it in awe.

    “It’s beautiful!” You chirped, wearing it immediately and studying it carefully on your wrist, grinning approvingly “You made this?” You asked, turning your head at him, and he nodded coyly. He took the hand you put the bracelet in his, rubbing circles at the back of your hand before focusing his eyes on yours, a fierce glint taking over his features.

   “Do you recognize it?” He bit his lips, and you tilted your head in confusion, studying the bracelet closer. It looked somewhat alike Caeli’s one, and the realization made you widen your eyes, snapping them at him as you gasped, flabbergasted.

   “Is it a –?“ He interrupted you, tightening his grip on your hands, anxiously.

   “Doesn’t have to be if you don’t want to!” He rushed to say, unable to hold your gaze. He played with your thumbs, swallowing dry before trying to look into your eyes. You stared at him in shock, not even once imagining he would give you an engagement bracelet, feeling your heart beating so fast that it resounded in your ears “One bead for each year I knew I wanted to marry you…” He let go of your hands, hiding his face “Mother Nature! This is so embarrassing! I told my mom you wouldn’t like it! Actually, just give it back! I can totally give you something else! I mean, just ask it! I will try to find it and –“

   You scoffed, holding his cheeks and bringing his face closer to yours, interrupting his rambling once again. He widened his eyes as he got closer to your face, and you almost chortled when your lips met, crashing against each other before both of you slowly closed your eyes. The initial messy kiss morphed into a more caring one; lips molding on each other as you felt butterflies in your stomach, the slow movements trying to convey years of yearning for this very moment.

  He cupped your cheek, leaning your way and guiding you to lie down, body hovering over yours as he deepened the kiss, tongue battling against yours to explore every inch of each other. His other hand rested on your waist, and you felt confident enough to wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him impossibly closer to you. He whispered something against your lips ─ something that sounded just like a confession ─ before capturing your lips again, losing himself on you.

    The moment would be the best thing you ever experienced.

    “Holy shit!” Seungmin yelled in a strangled voice.

    If it wasn’t for your brother…

    Chan jolted away from you like you were on fire, sitting beside your lying body and looking at Seungmin like he was just caught red-handed. Well, he kinda was. Seungmin looked at you horrified, eyes studying both of you from head to toes before he grimaced, disgusted by what he had just witnessed. He got up from his chair, groaning and pressing his temples, refusing to look straight at you for a second.

    “I swear to God! I don’t want to see you guys… Oh my god! You should feel ashamed!” He accused, pointing at both of you “At least, wait to be alone, goddammit!” He whined, heading to the door at a quick pace, refusing to look back as he slammed the door behind him, traumatized. You stared at Chan’s lips, leaning his way once more before the window was slammed, startling you “And let me close this goddam window too!” He groaned, mumbling something as he walked away.

   Seungmin was so lucky he was your brother... Otherwise, you would be hunting him by now.

   You looked at Chan for a few seconds, deadpanned as your romantic moment was already ruined and there was nothing more to do about it. You both chortled, shaking your head in disbelief before he extended his hand for you to take, helping you out of bed and pecking your lips with a goofy smile plastered on his face, lowering his head to hide his grin and his flushed state.

    “I think that I let it pretty clear…” You chuckled, caressing his cheeks so he would return his gaze to you “But this was my way to say yes” You pecked his lips, and he laughed, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his forehead on yours.

   “I think you should say it a little louder… Not sure I heard it right” He sighed mockingly, and you placed a gentle kiss on his lips, smirking “Hm? What was it? I can’t hear you…” He whined, making you push his shoulder lightly, laughing at his antics. He pouted, and you rolled your eyes before kissing him once more, getting a satisfied grin from here “I think I’m beginning to hear it…” He mused.

   “You’re lucky I love you” You chortled, looking at him fondly.

   “Oh, that I am” He agreed, kissing you softly “Not only the most handsome but also the luckier warlock alive” He chuckled, and you let go of his neck, groaning jokingly as you headed to the door “Wait! I’m joking!” He laughed, following you and taking your hand on his, opening the door for both of you to brag about your news. He brought your tangled hands to his lips, placing a kiss on your knuckles before raising your hand in the air “I did it!” He yelled for everyone to hear, and you hid your face behind your free hand.

    It was okay if you had a moment ruined… You had plenty more to experience with him from now on.

[noisyquokka]

Sniffles Under The Stars

pairing: Chan x reader

genre: fluff, sick au??, humor

length: 2.9k 

warnings: mild language, your heart exploding in your chest because Chan is a cuddly kangaroo!

Gist- In which you're an astronomy geek, and the Geminids Meteor shower is upon us... only one problem! You're in the midst of battling a cold, and whilst Chan's trying to be that good, caring best friend; you're trying to sneak out to watch the show with a thick blanket in place of a parka. One can only imagine Chan's reaction when he spots you out there. He knows he won't win the argument to get you back inside, so he does what any other panicking best friend would do; basically brings your bed to you!

a/n: (Ahem, hi yes! I did, in fact, come up with this story idea whilst spending a night outside watching the Geminids meteor shower. And yes, I was sick! (Well, actually I was almost over it but this isn't the point lol) And me being from New York, Decembers are almost always cold here. So I was out there in a hoodie and light sweatpants like an idiot. And the thought had occurred to me that Chan would probably be flipping at the sight of me. Outside. Watching a bunch of fucking rocks fall from the sky! Whilst combating a cold in a hoodie and light pants! So, here's that thought in a drabble! Enjoy.) Gosh, I’m sorry for my babbling 🤦‍♀️ someone tell me to shut up!

Prompt cred’s go to @bump-of-whump who has some great sick prompts, and got the cogs in my mind turning 😁 

"You should be in bed."

"Need a tissue, Snuffleupagus?"  

Sneezes raked your body for the fifth time in the past thirty minutes.

You'd been having these sneeze attacks all morning and into the afternoon, 3 boxes of tissues sitting on either side table for convenient nose blowing. Honestly, you thought you were getting better... then they started back up.

"Need a tissue, Snuffleupagus?"

You opened your eyes slightly to see Chan in the doorway, sympathetic smile on his face. You could barely smell the soup he just finished making with your congested sinuses. A groan left your sore throat, grimacing as you swallowed.

"You don't have to be here." You reminded him, reaching for the box of tissues. "I'm perfectly capable of treating my own cold!" He sat beside you on your bed, setting the bowl down on your nightstand.

"Y/n, we've talked about this!" He said, and you scoffed. Your parents were out of town on business, so you were home alone. Had it not been for your clumsy fingers tapping the answer button when Chan called, he wouldn't be here right now!

Yes, you appreciated Chan for taking the time to come by and take care of you in your ill state. But at the same time, you knew there were other things he could be doing while on break from promotions. Plus, you would feel like complete shit if he caught your cold.

You could feel another set of sneezes coming on, trying and failing miserably to fend them off. Gosh, why did it have to be sneezing? Chan sighed, handing you the box of tissues off the table.

"And here I thought I could help with your sore throat..." He trailed off, glancing at the bowl of soup before focusing on you again. He brought a hand up to your forehead, shaking his head. "You're still warm, I'm gonna go get the thermometer."

"Chan, I'm fine." You nasally mumbled. This had Chan quirking a brow your way. And really! How were you gonna fool this man into thinking you weren't dying from a typical cold? Why were you treating him as if he was oblivious?

"Yeah, and Changlix is real!" He said, rolling his eyes.

"How dare you... that's not even laugh worthy, you monster!"

He stood up from your bedside, sending you a smile before heading towards your bathroom. All while ignoring your protests that he go back to the dorms and properly enjoy his break. A sigh fell from your lips, the cover of your laptop catching your attention. You snatched it off your duvet, opening the top and typing in your passcode. Hey, if you're stuck in bed might as well spend it surfing the web! A few quick clicks to the news page and you were stopped in your scrolling tracks.

Looking For A Lightshow? The Geminids Peak Tonight!

That's right! The Geminids were tonight. And your fuzzy, cold-ridden mind forgot about it! Winter was the best time to stargaze - when you're healthy of course... and weather permitting. But the Geminids were among your favorite shower to watch. You couldn't possibly let this slip by over a measly cold!

"Alright!" Chan said, scaring the shit out of you in the process. "You definitely need to clean out your medicine cabinet." This was your chance.

"Chaaaannnn!" You smiled sweetly up at him, and he instantly knew your intentions.

"Nope. Whatever it is, it's a big no!" He said, holding the thermometer out to you. You frowned, sliding your laptop towards him.

"I just remembered they peak tonight. They're one of the best showers of the year... I haven't missed them once during clear peak nights, Chan." You told him, looking up at the brunette locks that sat tousled on his forehead. You watched as he read the article, his eyes trailing from the left to the right of the screen. And god, you should have seen yourself! You looked so damn hopeful. As if you'd just told the mall Santa what you wanted for Christmas and wondered if 'Santa' would approve. All hope disintegrated as Chan closed the tab on your web browser.

"You're battling a cold, y/n. I'm not allowing you to potentially make things worse for yourself." He said, handing you the thermometer. You took it from him, pressing the button before placing it under your tongue.

"I'll go make more tea, don't let me catch you out of bed!" He warned, grabbing the mug from the nightstand.

"Whut ipf I hapf tu gur tur teh baffrum?!"

"What??"

You rolled your eyes, taking the thermometer out of your mouth.

"I said, what if I have to go to the bathroom?"

The look of confusion left Chan's features, shrugging his shoulders.

"If you gotta go, you gotta go..." He said, walking out of the room. And you were quick to hop out of bed. Thermometer in hand, you crept to the bedroom window, slowly turning the lock as to not trigger mom!Chan just down the hall. The frosty chill of winter enveloped you as soon as you cracked the window. The sky above was crystal clear, perfect conditions for what was to come tonight. If not for the cool breeze nipping at your arms, you would've been standing there longer than you wanted to. You almost forgot how hot you were before, quickly snatching the cardigan off your desk chair. Your fingers would be cold for the next few minutes, but you didn't care. You were going to see that meteor shower! It was fairly simple. All you had to do was stick the thermometer in the sn-

"You've got to be kidding..."

Chan's voice startled you, your clumsy fingers almost dropping the thermometer out the window. You pulled the window closed before turning to your best friend, head down as he pointed to your bed. A silent command; the worst kind. Slowly you shuffled back to bed, slipping under the sheets with a pout evident on your lips. The cup of tea Chan made was placed on your nightstand, steam dancing above the top of the mug. He jutted a hand out before you.

"Thermometer!"

You handed it over, finally locking eyes with him before he headed for the bathroom. Yep, he was disappointed! You knew not just by the look on his face, but by the tone in his voice. The faint sound of the faucet trickling oddly calmed you, taking a sip from your mug. How were you gonna convince him?

"Now," Chan sighed as he made his way back over to you. "If we can stay in bed and you can properly take your temperature, I'll give you a cookie." You quirked a brow, taking the thermometer from him.

"I'm not a child. You can't bribe me with cookies!"

He took a seat on the edge of your bed, running a hand through his hair. God, you were so damn stubborn! You'd be lying if you said the thought of why Chan stuck by your side didn't cross your mind on a regular basis. Between being friends with you and being the leader of Stray Kids - ultimately a bunch of rowdy kids in men's bodies - to say he had his hands full was an understatement!

"Look, if you weren't in the middle of battling this cold then maybe I'd consider it." He said, resting a hand on your calf. It was your turn to sigh. You knew how much Chan cared for you, really you did. It brought on a warm and fuzzy feeling within your chest, which ultimately led to you feel guilty for the shit you put him through.

"I guess one year missed won't kill me." You admitted, a soft smile gracing your lips. He frowned, straightening up in his spot.

"You sure??"

You nodded, pressing the button on the thermometer once again. When you looked up at him, that warm and fuzzy feeling bubbled up in you again. His smile on full display with dimples to match... the highlight of your evening.

"Think you could reheat that soup? I'm feeling a bit hungry." You told him, pulling the blankets over your legs and placing your laptop on top. You stuck the thermometer under your tongue for the second time that night.

"Of course I can!" He said, taking the bowl from the nightstand. "Finish your tea, it'll help with the congestion and your sore throat." Then he was gone again. So was the thermometer. You placed it on your nightstand and picked up the mug, taking another sip of the now lukewarm drink. Your fingers typed away at the keyboard, going to Youtube to check your new subscriptions for the day.

Come on Y/N, you can do this.

You clicked on a recent upload, fixing your pillows behind you and settling in. Tonight was going to be a night of relaxing. In the warmth of your home. Under the blankets. You kept trying to remind yourself of this, your ring finger tracing the rim of the mug.

It's just a meteor shower! They occur every year!

At this point, you weren't even paying attention to the video on the screen. Who were you kidding?! The longer you sat there, the more you argued with your mind. Your eyes flicked over to the doorway every few seconds, even catching the time in the corner of your computer screen. 11:38 PM.

I can't do this!!!

The mug was back in its spot on your nightstand, tea unfinished. You didn't even pause the video, shutting your laptop and shoving it off your lap. Blankets were thrown to the side, and your bootie slippers were slid onto your feet. Now it was time for ninja mode!

You slipped out of your bedroom, quick but careful steps down the hallway. Yes, you were well aware that Chan could come walking around the corner at any moment. Yes, you were still going to try sneaking out. Chan's singing could be heard from the kitchen, the perfect distraction from the sound of your footsteps. As long as his back was turned...

A quick peek around the corner and you were creating a game-plan in your head. Crawl to the kitchen island, roll to cover behind the couch, there's a curtain right there... that's good camouflage, parkour over the recliner, sneak out the patio door. Ka-ching! We're home free.

Or as soon as you pathetically somersault behind the couch, Chan makes his way back to your room.

Well... that was easy. You snatched the thick fleece blanket from the back of the couch, enveloping yourself with it. Then as simple as letting the dog out, you opened the patio door and stepped outside, quietly latching it behind you. And wow... There it was!

While the earth below was blanketed in white, the sky above sparkled like diamonds. The moon had already risen and set, letting the constellations be the real show-stopper of the night. Orion hung proudly in the east, the distinctive belt guiding you to Gemini. You exhaled deeply, a content smile on your lips as you took it all in. Behold, your happy place! The entirety of space, looking down at you from above whilst you admired it from your tiny spot on Earth. Everything felt right... until the patio door opened.

"You should be in bed." Chan scolded, rushing up behind you. He pulled you into his chest, starting back towards the door only for you to pull back.

"Chan, I really can't stay inside when I know the sky is alive tonight!" You sounded like a poetic idiot! But it was true; the sky was awake! The stars were communicating from light years away and there was no way you could bear taking a raincheck for next year. Chan watched you carefully, all wrapped up in that large fleece, the bed head look you'd been rocking since he showed up early this morning. Your eyes sparkled as the stars above did, a childlike wonder settling over your features. And it hit him.

There was no winning this argument.

No matter what he would come up with tonight, nothing would keep you inside that house. Even handcuffs wouldn't prevent your escape. Chan was at a loss here. What could he possibly do to make this work? ... Idea!

You hadn't even noticed him race back into the house. It was common sense, really! If y/n won't come to bed, bring the bed to y/n! Hammock, blankets, pillows, and Chan. That was all that was needed for you to enjoy a night under the stars. He raced about the house collecting all the essentials. The hammock in the garage, the pillows he'd found in the hall closet, and a slew of blankets to stay warm for however many hours you planned on staying out there. When he finally came back outside, your attention swayed to him.

"What's all this?!" You asked, hint of a knowing smile on your lips. Chan set down the frame of the hammock, sighing in defeat.

"I'm compromising." He said, getting to work on your makeshift bed. Good thing, too! You were starting to feel the chill through the fleece. It didn't take Chan long to set everything up for the two of you though. Before you knew it, you were slipping under the mountain of blankets and cuddling a pillow as the show started above. You felt an arm pulling you closer, to which you pushed away. A quick glance at the brunette next to you and you instantly felt bad.

"I don't want you to catch my cold." You tried telling him. Chan furrowed a brow, pulling you into his side.

"Well, I'm not taking no for an answer." He murmured, intertwining his fingers with yours. You couldn't help the small smile that found its way onto your lips. The both of you laid there in comfortable silence, your head on Chan's chest, the pillow you'd been cuddling moments ago left behind you. Your eyes trailed across the sky watching for any meteors. You were the first to break the silence.

"Thanks..." You trailed off, taking a deep breath. "For all of this. Even though I know you were against it." Chan's gaze fell from the stars to your body against his. He grinned to himself, propping one hand behind his head.

"Hey, you know I can't take saying no to you more than 4 times a day." He joked. You chuckled, leaving a playful smack on his chest.

"You're too good to me. If I wouldn't have answered the phone today, you wouldn't even know I was sick. You wouldn't be here."

Gosh, now you were just being sappy!

"Wait, is that why my call almost went to voicemail!?" He asked, pulling the blankets over your shoulder. You chuckled lightly, shrugging awkwardly.

"I'm sorry! It's just... I didn't want to be bothering you on your break like this. You have so much on your shoulders with promotions, composing songs, being the leader of Stray Kids. And I put you through even more shit than what I'm worth. You deserve a proper break! This is just a burden!" You sighed in mild frustration. At this point, Chan was stargazing more than you were!

"Hey, slow down," He said, sitting up. When you didn't spare him a look, he cupped your chin. "You are not a burden! Alright? I'm here because I want to be. I take care of you, you take care of me, right?"

You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding slowly. Chan was right, but that didn't mean it made you feel better. You were taking him away from what could be a stress-free break, surrounded by his family and friends who he rarely saw anymore. Instead, he sat here with you under the stars because you were too damn stubborn to care more about your health! The guilty look on your face didn't go unnoticed by Chan, who wrapped his arms around you to sit you on his lap. His fingers laced with yours once again, brown eyes staring into your own.

"I know there are other things I could be doing right now. But, I honestly don't think anything could beat this!" You quirked a brow at him.

"What? Watching stars in the freezing cold with your sick best friend?"

"Pfft, no! Just being here with you." He said, pulling you into his chest. "Yes, you put me through a lot of crap! Yes, it can get annoying! Yes, you are one of the most stubborn people in my life! But I'd be stupid to let that all go. You make my life more interesting than I need it to be sometimes, the guys love you, and you have to put up with my stubborn ass, too." You chuckled into the fabric of his hoodie, craning your neck to look up at the one you called your best friend. Seeing how uncomfortable your position was, Chan leaned back with you on his chest, pressing a single kiss to your forehead.

"Thank you, Chan. I really needed to hear that." You murmured, your eyes catching a faint meteor dashing across the canvas of an inky black sky. There and gone in seconds.

Like the days that went by without you seeing Chan.

But the memories both of you cherished, stashed somewhere in the vast expanse of your minds, would never be lost.

Including the ones made tonight.

Gahh!! My first piece of writing on this blog 😓 How exciting and nerve-wracking haha. If you’ve come this far and enjoyed, like/reblog to let me know you want more 😊 

If you’d like to request a skz Valentine’s Day drabble, you can do so with these prompts! Don’t forget to specify which member unless you don’t mind. Thanks y’all!💛

[ramblingshit]

Persuasion 1995

The incoherent rambling commentary of a 3am viewing.

we start in a boat -- wait have i done this one before -- who cares CIARAN HINDS BBYYYY. I have sheep too just in my front yard ya know. that's just how it be. here's some boats - i can see where they pasted the fake boats in teh background i love it .calm nice piano music. dude is cutting the lawn people out here with top hats and wigs. oh dear everyone pissy SHOW ME THE MONEYYYY. lots of wigs and coats and here's a lady in a turban she's definitely the worldy kind. sailors n shit sitting drinking wine and smoking. oh god who's this. i can't hear the dialogue over my laptop fan. this ol mate's a fop i hate his voice. oh dear he's supposed to be a moron huh. oh whoops the fop is a baronet and he is poorr lol sucked in he got debtss extreme debts you musssttt retreennnnnchh. the neighbours be tryna help out and hereeee is Anne eyy. wow eatin grapes and sorbet and they're goin to Bath. he hates sailors and now he has to be ol mate's tenant. ohh Anne knows about the admiral and this fop keeps talking nonsense. a lady with no children has the best furniture. WENTWORTH she gasps. and she is dramatic and sad, puts her tea down takes a breath by the window and comes back takes up her tea and sits down damn. aww Ann---OH 'since no one will want you in bath its best you stay here!' what a fkn bitch what is happening. ITS AUNT PETUNIAA. naww anne is so cute and petite and so miserable. her sister looks cruel and stupid and her dad is just as bad honestly. damn they got Greek statues in their giant house. her sister. is. a . bitch. fuck me. give her like two lists and tells her to go visit everyone in the parish. damn all the peeps glared at him as he left like give us the money you foppish twat. Poor Anne, that is a fkn big ass house. everyone's watching em leave. ohhh cows. oop packing up the house, sheets over the furniture, she's lucky they got like a thousand servants. she's found something in teh box - it's a letter in the shape of a boat ooh i wonder who its from. she's been miserable for years; she hates Bath; her mum's dead and everything went to shit after that - her dad's a moron, her sister's a bitch, she's out here gonna fixedly avoid risking meeting him. Lady Russell - she's the one tsk tsk. oooh Annneeeee she is persuaded despite disapproval and anxiety of his prospects - she was 19 and she wanted to fuck and Lady Russell told her to fuck him off because he was a peasant damn fuck Lady Russell; she just brushes Jane off like shut up little girl I'm right you're wrong move on dumbass. And Anne's like, did you not hear me - i literally just tried to tell you I hate my fucking life and I miss him and I love him and I kinda resent you for telling me to say no. More sheep and a puppy, and close up view of sheep. dad and sister got to ride in a fancy carriage and Anne has to ride in a wagon that's a bit rough. I like her bonnet. oh my god her sister i love her. 'i am soooooooo ill' - she's searching for attention; lonely and miserable and sad and a little bitter. Mary you poor girl leave Anne alone none of that emotional manipulation. 'oh i was very well yesterday, it's just today' yeah alright. sounds like Charles isn't as rich as the Elliots and Mary's not happy about it.  ohh i know this lady and of course Anne can play piano very well and everyone knows it -- Mary tryna cut in like yes i'm as accomplished as Anne and they're awkward like ehhhh but we like watching you dance and Anne doesn't dance so there you go and she sits there with an awkward cringe 'no'. Mary goes off and sulks and Charles rolls his eyes. The Musgroves are rich and friends ohmygod Mary don't be embarrassing in your bitterness yikes and we cut and Mary was there but now Mrs Musgrove and Anne are sitting in teh same spot - I like Mrs M's dress, even the lace around her shoulders that matches the hat I don't know it just seems refined or something. There's lots of very swift conversations - good pace just like my fingers and brain can't keep up yo. Yikes Mrs M thinks Mary is a shit mum; Mary says Mrs M riles em up with lollies; Charles says Mary interferes and fancies herself ill; Mrs M tells the kids are so naughty the only way to keep em chill is to feed them cake; dunno who this girl is (Henrietta?) anyway the brown haired petite one, they're sitting in the window, Anne's finished her tea by now damn how is she so casually moving from person to person how long have they been chillin with the Musgroves? anyway she's tea-less and talking with brown-haired-possibly-Henrietta: wants Mary to stop being rude over Mrs M even though she has precedent to no one likes her for it; blondish sister now and Anne's got more tea and this one says Mrs M's not one for etiquette she just wants cake lmaooooo; Mary is superior and wants her to persuade Charles that she is very very ill. Anne and Charles sigh on the couch together. Now only Charles has got a tea. okay never mind Mary's a bit more like her sister than I thought. oh my god kids ew. it's petunia looking high as a kite ahaha i wish i was her naw petunia was like idc bout your sister I wanted to meet you btw ol mate is married and Anne's like kill me now I guess. she's horrified, shocked, wants to find an ant hill to bury herself in. god mary's a bitch i take back everything i said about her but all is well Anne has a new friend. she's got a very good memory, Anne does, naw and she's good with her nephews. what's this girls name plz tell me oh it is Henrietta. oh damn they're invited to the house tonight to 'meet Mr Frederick WEntowORTH by ALL aCOunts a most CHarMinG anD agreEable GeNtlemAn' Anne could not look more uspet. fixing her hair in the mirror - there's boys screaming ohh no a child what's happened oh god Mary's screaming for Anne the boy has broken his collarbone - she's knowledgeable chatting with the doctor - Charles marches in like wtf my dumbass kid out here falling out of trees - it's his first born the kid looks so fkn miserable that's hilarious now he's off to dinner cause -- oh damn i forgot they wear gloves. this kid's just lying there. ahah Mary doesn't give a fuck about her kids she just wants to be in on everything -- damn--"you are the properest person to sit with the boy. but you haven't a mothers feelings, have you?' like BITCH she's just offered to sit here so you can go to dinner and you're out here being a fucking cunt for no reason? gtfo. and the scene just changes with that damn savage leave Anne be she deserves better than this. oh damn i know that cheekbone. Anne's been out here watching this kid all night like literally and Mary shrugs off that Wentworth barely asked after her because they're barely acquaintances and says he and Charles are out shooting and Anne's tense like uhh they're not coming here tho right and just as Mary's like nah BAM SURPRISE BITCH o no O NO and THERE HE IS DRAMATIC ZOOM HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK AT HER SHE LOOKS TERRIFIED, HE BARELY GLANCES AT HER, doesn't talk to her, she grips the chair tight fuck he's hot. another swift glance and he's gone. dramatic zooms all around. Mary returned, didn't even look at her injured child who has a big ass cut on his face who's just sitting in the corner looking plain and miserable and wentworth - "you were so altered he would not have known you again' - scene cuts to her sitting in front of a mirror looking fucking sadddddd. they're all at dinner together fuck me he is so hot my god. the girls are all over him and he's enchanting everyone with his stories and of course the reason why he first went out comes up and he's like 'i was extremely keen... to be at sea. i was extremely keen. i badly wanted to be doing something.' the PAIn in his eyes, the tight swallow as he turned to listen to the Admiral, who sits Right next to Anne who's sorta just sitting with wide eyes staring at the salad bowl. then the admiral leans over 'when a man has no wife he wants to be afloat again' and she's like yeah wow ah ha ha ah 'yes well i had no wife - pity the essex (?? dunno what that means but I GET THE POINT)" and then he looks at her properly for the first time and i want to die and she wants to die and he wants to die and we are all quite miserable where we are BUT WE ARE ONLY A HALF HOUR IN and we move on talkin bout his ship crap just wait im eating chocolate but i have many thoughts. sorry honestly theres no time to take a breath in this movie i love it but damn it doesn't give one enough time to write and snack. RIGHT - ol mate's declared he'll never have a woman on his ship because its not pink and frilly enough and petunia's stepped in like fkn excuse me m8 wanna say that again? and also is Anne and petunia related because they are looking very similar to me right now??? they're not related. alright pulling us back yet again, I'm so sorry this is a mess I'm eating chocolate at 1 am and watching Persuasion, I think you can guess how my day has been. they keep talking about him getting married and he laughs and jokes it off and then excuses himself like yeah real smooth yeeting yourself outta here dude at that certain topic hanging around. naww the only time petunia felt scared or bad was when she was away from her husband this is adorable. ol mate's tryna play the piano to the amusement of the girls, sees Anne sneaking up to listen and immediately hurries outta there, face pale never moved so fast in his life i bet and they all follow him and she just sits down and starts playing while everyone dances. for people who were so refined they danced like crazy people --- 'no never she has quite given up dancing' Wentworth's face falls and he looks at her and she looks away from him come on guys you are hurting me. some guy has just rocked up who the heck is Henry - a cousin? who is not --- 20,000 pounds fuck me. Charles and Mary; wait we're talking about Henry. oh my god, they're planning who's gonna marry who - Henrietta and lousia and henry and wentworth 'what say you Anne, which one is the Captain in love with? she laughs slightly - I've never seen someone so depressed before in my life, at least not in a romance . this is actually a really sad story ya know, Wentworth got rejected and fled to sea; and Anne rejected him and became depressed about it for years. damn. anyway these girls can't go anywhere without Mary butting in, now they're going for a long walk or something and Mary's forcibly inserted herself and they look at each other and the poor kid is sitting with his arm in a bandage that goes round his neck? with that scratch on his face and adorable little round glasses sitting at the table with some cake and a puzzle he's doing with Anne like please don't abandon the suffering child has he even had any panadol?? Who the hell is looking after this kid if they're all going on this long walk - now Charles and Wentworth too. Charles helps two of em over, Wentworth helps Louisa over the fence, and Anne has to help herself over, which she does without hesitation good girl you do you fam. yikes Charles and that are going to Winthrop or something where Charles' aunt lives and Mary's offended to have such connections and refuses to go and assures Wentworth she's only been there twice and he half-smiles politely. louisa came running up to take Wentworth wherever and he like turned around to look at Mary and Anne and Anne fkn spun around to avoid him just generally so smooth these two so smooth. Anne's looking around at like anything and everything except him. every time he's nearby she tenses up and skitters around like she's tryna hide in plain sight but also stand tall and brave and staring straight at him like she wants him to look at her so badly. 'we all wish that charles had married anne instead' 'did charles want to marry anne' 'did you not know' 'you mean she refused him' 'yes' ... 'my parents think it was Lady Russell's doing, that my brother not being philosophical enough for her taste she persuaded Anne to refuse him.' ohhhhhh. damn. Wentworth is very quiet. Mouth tight. Brow low. Anne's freaking out down the hill. Mary's just stolen her spot. Christ. It's chaos. Anne's stumbling along she's tired she's sad she's got the depression her sister's a nightmare, WEntworth doesn't care about her, she cares about him, everything is awful and she trips over some sticks and he turned to look at her, concerned out of his thoughts. Hey petunias back with her carriage and they're offering a seat and Wentworth like rushes over and whispers for them to take Anne and she catches it like wtf confusion she goes to protest and suddenly He's AT her SIDE and he doesn't even say anything and he leans his head down to hers for a moment with a gentle look on his face, putting a hand to her back and her brain just shuts down as he leads her to the carriage and hold her hip tight as he helps her up and she looks around in shock and he's staring straight forward like everything is chill and doesn't look at her again. oh wait petunia is wentworth's sister damn awesome but she doesn't think very well of him. oh they're going to Lime and they ask if Anne can come and I think Wentworth choked on his tea a little bit. and here's some establishing shots : the ocean. Some rocks with seaweed on them. The shittest 'beach' ive ever seen there's like boulders everywhere where's the sand? is that a teepee of seaweed? what Wentworth looks pretty happy about it though like he wants to jump in. I like Charles he's a funny dude. Wow that is one helluva hat Wentworth. All these fancy people going into a sailor's home like etiquette is what but everyone is chill with it except Mary of course. is Anne supposed to have her bonnet off? o no now she's chosen to be the nice depressed girl who tries to talk to the weird depressed guy who is too into poetry about death. cute they're all shoulder to shoulder around the guy's table. she starts getting the hint that this guys a bit off 'you cannot know the depths of my despair.' damn son get a therapist. ohh shittt 'you have no conception of what i have lost' 'yes I have' she says, and Wentworth is sitting there smoking what could be a blunt who can honestly say and he heard the whole thing. Wentworth and Louisa are doing a whole lot of hanging out.  Like every time they actually speak to each other feels like a momentous occasion - they literally just said 'good morning' to each other and it feels like such a big step and her heads down and he's watching her BIG STEPS --oh shit some blonde haired guy that im sure will come up later tipped his hat to the girls and then Anne and Wentworth was coming up behind her and she looked over her shoulder to look at the BLondie but wentworth thought it was at him and he SMILED to himself nawwww. that looks like the house from Pride and Prejudice ahaha. whoop Blondie's back and she looked back at him again and now they're at breakfast ohmyGadh his eyes sparkle when he looks at her the few times he looks at her my god they're talking about Blondie who is apparently their cousin or something and he and mary and anne's father aren't on good terms and she tells Mary so and he looks over his bowl with those fkn sparklllinggg eyes and a playful smile and it doesn't even matter what he says just that look and he drinks his soup and licks his lips and looks up at her and she's just staring but like calmly not even freaking out and she lowers her eyes to her toast and just chills like all is well.  whoop i think weird depressed guy is gonna propose but before he can whats up we're helping girls down some scary stairs yikes i'd sit my ass down going down those things. Louisa is being crazy oh fuckkkk ahahaha hahaSPLAT holy shit oh fuck weird depressed guy is standing in the background with his hands over his mouth Anne is in there with Charles and Wentworth damn she'd 100% be a doctor nowadays, Louisa the dumbass has smashed herself on the cobblestones and WEntworht is just freaking out and he is looking straight to Anne who is giving straight smart orders and he is following them without hesitation - the other women are crying they're all sitting around her while the doctor does like... something and Anne's the only one like hey we have shit to do like people gotta hear about this we don't have phones and her speaking makes Wentworth speak and Charles is in shock cause its his baby sister whose hurt. Once again she's looking after the injured person and she walks out and Wentworth is talking to Charles 'I think it should be Anne - no one so capable as Anne--' he cuts off when he sees her coming in 'I-we-you'll stay, won't you?' he stammers as she enters holy fuck my heart can't handle...they're just staring into each others eyes; in any other context man. he clarifies himself but fuck if they didn't think it. ah fuck Mary is so annoying crying that she should be the one to stay with Louisa like bitch you didn't even give a shit about your injured son let alone your sister-in-law wtf she needs a slap why are they listening to her. 'If only I -- if only--' he cries in the carriage 'yes.' Anne said, looking at him sadly. 'Anne... I regret that...' he looks at her once and again and again and she lowers her eyes and holds the sleeping Henrietta close. like honestly i feel like there's no problem writing their dialogue cause there is just so little of it and when it does happen all of it means everything. but anyway she doesn't answer him and I am sad and he is sad. 'damned foolish' he sa---wait holy shit SCREAAAAAAAMINGgGg fucking hell grab your torches and pitchforks Mrs Mudahwhatver is screaming and Wentworth is riding off in the rain and once again Anne is all alone and she stays up just walking around all night and playing the piano and yay Louisa is conscious and Anne continues to be depressed poor girl and you can tell because its raining. and its still raining and they're not back-- wait now she's in Bath and her fop father and bitch sister are lounging irritatingly and he says he's happy for her to have come because it will be an advantage to have four at dinner. things are white and gold - clean and unhomely and too perfect and the fop is calling everyone ugly - they're eating sorbet again ahaha yum. god they all look bored and miserable and here's blondie come to greet them and he glances at Anne, processes and then snaps back to stare at her in astonishment he's got nice hair and he continues to stare damn and she's so confident she just smiles and stares back I'm so jealous she can do that. oh mygod they're having an intimate conversation in front of her shitty family dude i know he'll probs turn out like a wickham character but one can have hope. damn that jaw-line tho. hmmm lady russell is back. i hate her hair. metal cups are odd - they make sense but so strange. Russell's got plans man Anne's telling her about how her bitch sister is after Blondie and Russell laughs and pats her cheek. Oh yay it's petunia! aw she hears the admiral is in poor health and she's immediately like what's wrong here come get some water. damn bitch sister 'she is nothing to me' damn whats about the screaming and the random rage bursts damn. oh and here's a viscountess why are they always fucked. Blondie and Anne are in the corner flirting crazily I know he's bad but like you can't fake this chemistry no one's that good. and suddenly she's surprised?0oh my god that suit. Mrs Smith oh my god she's adorable she and Nurse Rook are gossipers hell yeah 'there are no secrets in Bath' naw this better not be a Helen situation come on guys - oh fuck Louisa is gonna marry weird depressed guy?? and Anne is freaking thrilled. damn it rains a lot here. far out hats are crazy. Here's Blondie. Anne's so used to being verbally abused by her sister she doesn't respond -----holy damn its Wentworth walking down the street. Penelope is n---- oh fuck he just walked in -- she took a breath with her back to him then spun around HOWDY he looks shocked and delighted and she hse ewihpewjihp oh my god they love each other and they're so nervous and uncertain about it oh my god so awkward and cute please trying to go through the etiquette script oh no so cute 'im already armed for Bath' he grins and she laughs ----oh no. ... oh shit. Blondie just showed up and she just accepted Wentworth's umbrella everything was going so well stop awwww nooo his face falls, her face falls everything is awful. standing all solemn and glum by the window and all dressed in white looking shiny and gorgeous her little sack bag is weird but. and who is she looking for, I wonder. The family is standing awkward---there he be. tall and commanding and hmhmmm i love a man in uniform - she steps in front of him as he tries to pass him by. asks him if he's come for the concert - 'no ive come for a lecture on navigation am i in the wrong place' damn son no he's so good at making her laugh she never laughs oohh her family have to bow to him interesting - he's asking her how she's been since Lime I love them talking he starts on about being concerned about weird depressed guy getting married to Louisa because of his depression about his dead fiance 'a man does not recover to such a devotion to such a woman - he ought not; he does not' i'm sorry was that a declaration of love m8 omg Anne knows it too 'i should like to see it again' 'would you i would've thought i mean the distress, too painful' 'but when the pain is over...' dudes DUDES guys please guys 'It was my doing solely mine - Louisa would not have been obstinate if i had not been weak - Anne, I have never--' GUYS NO the fucking viscountess wandered in ruining everything and now he's gone please come back who cares about this lady singing i mean the candles look cool and but stop honestly who cares bring back Wentworth. omg fop is asleep, Anne and Blondie are bantering and she's not realising that she's pushing into flirting, again my god silly silly innocent naive and entirely relatable lol help. but there's Wentworth standing all tall and handsome in the corner and he looks so sad and meanwhile Blondie is like tryna propose and Wentworth is tryna yeet outta there and she's sprinting over to him tryna block his way tryna convince him to stay HOW THE TURN TABLES 'the next song is beautiful its a very beautiful love song is that not worth your staying for.' 'there's nothing worth my staying for.' kill me. Blondie needs to like there's no way he couldn't tell.  Yay Charles is here! oh and Mary lol. Lol everyone is making decisions on what Louisa and Henrietta are gonna wear on their wedding day except they themselves?? And here is ol mate sweeping int eh room, smile briefly falling at the sight of Anne but everyone's happy to see them yay. mate what he just swept over to her talking softly ohmhwy god i don't think they've said anything directly to each other in their lives its all round the bend and metaphors and insinuations please kill me i love it he picks at her that she says she doesn't like the parties her family and Blondie give; 'they mean nothing to me'  she has nothing in common with them and dislikes how they are, they're smiling at each other - oh shit Mr Elliott is out there meeting with her sister's friend or whatever now fkn Russell's tryna PERSUADE (ahaha) her into marrying Elliot 'that is not what I want!' Russell is shocked. now he's here looking stiff and snappy and awkward because the admiral has told him to invite her and her newly engaged Mr Elliot to his house and oh my god poor ol mate he wants to yeet away into the sunset goodbye world fuck you all 'if you wish it all you have to do is give me a yes or a no and we are both released' 'the admiral is too kind...' 'just say it: yes or no.' fuck you jane austen. Anne is overwhelmed and stormed off Russell faces Wentworth, he sneers her name, she smiles serenely 'You have an extraordinary ability to discompose my friend sir' , he twitches ' you have an extraordinary ability to influence her ma'am for which I find it hard to forgive you.' damn and then the scene ends damn.  she's run off to Mrs Smith and Nook I love em she's ranting about everyone thinking she's gonna marry this guy and they're astonished and relieved cause he is poor and living on loans - he wants her for her money, title and lands thank god she's got her friends eyyy yasss. naw petunia and mrs musgrove are here my favs. Wentworth is writing a letter. whever they're in the room she can't help but look at him. she's talking with weird depressed gyu's fiance's brother - he's bitter that he's moved on so fast - she wouldn't have, its not in her nature, 'it would not be in the nature of any woman who truly loved.' 'do you claim that for your sex?' 'we do not forget you as soon as you forget us.' blah blah about women being stuck at home because people were shit to us back then fuck the patriarchy and all that. Fiance's brother says women and men are the same in being inconstant and forgetting those they love or have loved. Their convo gets interrupted by Wentworth knocking the whatever it is that they sprinkle over ink to dry it off the table and everyone's like dude the fuck we don't own vacuum cleaners you know. Fiance's brother says he's not read a book in his life that didn't have something to say on women's fickleness. 'but they were all written by men.' she argues. they laugh.  he's on about going off to sea and being the victim cause he has to leave his family behind and boohoo it's so hard for me to be away from them even though i'm the one choosing to go away. yikes too close to home. anyway lolol. She says that above all, women are the ones who love the longest when all hope is gone. they all left, he snuck back and put out a letter on the desk, gave her a look and then left. she pretty much threw herself at it OH MY GOD THE LETTTTTTTTERRRRRRRR dudes dudes dudes dudes deud ed dud oh ymf theihwhes 'where are you going' 'i hardly know' ihowyiqruhoijpfg0hurbj3ifjpgrn Charles just keeps on standing between them and chattering finally gets it tips his hat and trots off wringing his hands. those eyes - he offers a hand, he takes it - i tried to forget you, i thought i had. they kiss very slowly, very gently, very chastely. his hair all windswept like that is very becoming - the way she slowly ran her hands over his arm before tucking it into his --- aand now there is a very random festival procession what and they're walking down the empty street. okay cool fine. she wanders into the gaming room or whatever, the camera mans shadow spreading all over the place, her sister grabs her and tells her not to monopolise wentworth - there's another war coming? oh how romantic. 'MY PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE TO YOUR DAUGHTER ANNE HAS BEEN ACCEPTED.’ he fucking beams. everyones shocked. 'Anne? You want to marry anne, whatever for?' he just grins at the fop. And now she's on a ship and they're sailing off to war, oh how romantic. and there you go.

--

ya know before this 1-3am viewing i wouldve given this a 4/5 or even 4.5/5, but now I’m gonna give it a 3/5. there’s just something about it thats a bit... idk. still really like it but also.. yeah.

[2x4swrites]

This had a happy ending but I wasn’t satisfied with it, so I just chopped it lol. Now it’s just depressing. Alan/Billy Event Horizon AU because why not

The infinite void of space only holds so much beauty for a man. Eventually it becomes cold, and dark, and terrifying, especially to someone ill-prepared for the fate that awaits them. Billy was only a technician, but he knew enough of what Alan had been working on for him to be declared an expert and tag along. It was inevitable, really— eventually powerful people will always want to poke their noses where they don’t belong, even if the lesson has been harshly taught before. Naturally, when the back half of the Event Horizon popped back into existence, government officials started to get curious. “No force on heaven or earth,” Billy had said, but that was a lie. Doctor Alan Grant could get him there, because if the back half of Alan’s ship had reappeared, maybe Alan had too. The odds are infinitely against him, but Billy has to take his shot. Another week alone on a colony without Alan’s warm arms wound around his waist; another week with the agony of the man he’d loved disappearing without a trace, hearing the allegations of the crew they’d been able to rescue... Billy isn’t strong enough to keep pushing through. He’s just not.

The Event Horizon is as much of a void as space is, a mass of twisted metal where she’d been torn asunder, and death weighs heavy in the vacuum surrounding them. When they finally reach the few pressurized areas, it’s a short-lived relief. Whatever has dug its hooks into the soldiers he’d travelled with has left him alone; the closest thing Billy experiences to the gory hallucinations they describe is the murmur of Alan’s voice behind a door, though he can’t be sure— it’s always drowned out by screaming crew members. Whatever has infested the ship Alan had built, lovingly structured, that Billy had watched take shape... it’s determined to rip them all to pieces, just like the remains of the hull. Finding the soldiers he’d grown to regard as friends turned into macabre sculptures is traumatizing enough, but the sound of footsteps tracking him as he desperately searches for any living being is enough to make Billy want to puke from fear. He doesn’t turn around until he knows he’s cornered, and the being that comes into view shakes him to his very core.

A strangled, despondent croak is all he can manage as he takes in the bloody form of Alan Grant, or whatever has replaced him. Lines carved into his skin, naked, Alan approaches him, and Billy shakes his head like a child, repeating the word “no,” over and over again. Vividly, he remembers long nights in the lab, Alan’s bright idea and the letter telling him he’d received funding to work on the gravity drive— that had been the first time Alan had kissed him. Then, Billy had been so lovestruck he’d practically melted in Alan’s arms. This time, Alan’s lips are cold and Billy shoves helplessly against his chest, fingers digging into cuts. When the thing that is Alan and the ship and something else breaks the kiss, it grins, telling him how much it missed him.

“Alan, please...” Billy manages, but it is pitiful and small; an ant asking the magnifying glass to stop burning it. Alan-yet-not, Alan-yet-more forces Billy to look into his eyes, nails digging into his chin, and Billy is suddenly, overwhelmingly aware of the fragile safety the void of space grants them, and he knows that whatever Alan stared into was not meant to be seen by humankind. Billy’s eyes roll back into his head. Alan’s laughter is cruel.

When he wakes up, he can’t open his eyes, fingers coming to touch crude stitches, and he sobs. He sobs and shakes and screams, screams until his throat is bloody and raw and painful only to scream some more. Some fleeting concern must still exist in this Alan, this malignant growth that has filled the mold of Alan Grant, because he grips Billy’s shoulders in an attempt to make him stop. Billy laughs instead, laughs and kicks and claws until his foot strikes flesh.

“I hate you,” he screams, again and again until the hands are gone and he’s alone in a void of ship-demon-Alan’s making. He paces in the small room, a storage area of some kind; he paces and screams, paces and laughs, and when his throat is too ruined for him to make any noise he paces in silence. Alan comes and goes at regular intervals, and Billy learns him by sound, by the increasing scent of blood and rot and burnt ozone when Alan approaches, and when he’s confident he knows the schedule of the visits, he prepares. The door had been damaged some time ago, leaving a piece of metal free save for two bolts. He tears his fingernails apart trying to undo them, but he succeeds— a testament to what the human body can do when running on fear and adrenaline. He crouches against the wall when Alan next approaches, leaping up and pressing the jagged metal to the older man/not-man’s neck. He still can’t decide how to think about the thing that has tormented him; his hand shakes as he digs the metal in harder.

“I’m going to kill you,” Billy says, because he thinks Alan deserves to know, “because you’ve hurt me, and I hate you.”

“Billy?” Alan’s voice is weak and confused. Shaking fingers come up to touch his eyes, a sharp breath sucked in. Billy knows it’s all pretend, but Alan’s distress still stings.

“Billy, my god, what happened to your eyes?”

He refuses to answer.

“Billy, please!”

His hands shake. He doesn’t open his mouth.

“Billy, this wasn’t me, you have got to believe me.”

He tightens his grip on the jagged metal because he can still smell blood and ozone and evil, and the hands that fumblingly touch him are the ones that stitched shut his eyes without a hint of remorse, no matter how fearful that voice sounds.

“Billy, I don’t want to die. Please, I don’t know what happened...”

He’s frustrated, a dog trying desperately to convince itself not to come running to the master who’d beaten it senseless only hours before, and he grits his teeth and groans. Sweat-soaked hair sticks to his forehead, curls damp and dull, face soaked in blood as much as Alan’s. The dimples Alan once loved have not made an appearance in years, not really. Billy would give anything to smile at Alan again, the real Alan, the one who taught him how to read blueprints when Billy’s actual professor had failed to explain it in a way that made sense, and foolish freshman Billy Brennan had fallen madly in love. He’d smiled, then, smiled like the sun, and later Alan would admit he’d fallen in love at the sight of Billy’s deep dimples and sparkling eyes. The thought makes him cry out in agony as he lifts his arms and brings the hunk of metal down against Alan-not-Alan’s forehead.

Later, when he wakes up in a hospital on an outer colony, Billy will be grateful for government contingency plans and military rescues. His eyelids have scabs on them but he can see; in some twisted way, Alan had taken care not to hurt him. He will receive psychological help for a short time, but what he claims has happened is near-unbelievable even with proof; the counseling goes nowhere. Covered in bandages, Alan rests in the hospital even months later, unresponsive. Though his cuts heal and scar and his hair grows back over time, nothing seems to be able to bring him back to the world of the living. Nothing, at least, until the Event Horizon disappears back to whatever hellhole it’s been visiting; Alan comes to and grips Billy’s hand so hard the bones crunch and lets out the most blood-curdling scream Billy has ever heard. He gathers the screaming man into his arms and rocks him and lets him scream, because he knows better than anyone that when you’ve stared beyond the void of space that’s all you really have left to do.

[ramenfallsbutnotudon]

Twirling Around Earth’s Minerals – a (short) Erik Killmonger Fanfic

Twirling Around Earth’s Minerals – a (short) Erik Killmonger Fanfic (w/ some slightly added smut lol)

Word Count: About 2,300 words.

TW: Slight inclinations of co-dependency, murder/killing trigger, mind games, mental illness and depression. Sexual undertones. Not outright smut…

Possibly one shot? Idk lol

Synopsis: It’d been a few days since you (the reader) and Erik had really spoken. You hadn’t been fighting, but you hadn’t been really ‘connected’ either. There’s a lot of unsaid words hanging in the air, and a bit of sexual tension. You decide to break the tension by talking about rocks and Earth’s Minerals. Yes…that’s right. Minerals found deep within the Earth’s surface. And your feelings about Erik…

I seen a post here a while ago on Tumblr about a writing prompt generator. One of them was “Your character is prone to hair-twiddling when bored.” I meant to write a descriptive exercise with Erik twirling his hair but it turned into some philosophical bullshit and an (attempt) at exploring his psyche and whoever chooses to be in a relationship with him. I shouldn’t even post this. This is in the same universe as my [other fic]. So basically following the canon BP storyline this is a few months (or maybe more) before he goes to London.

If anyone wants to send me writing prompts, please do. I don’t think I can do T’Challa (I can’t relate to him/kind of dislike his character), but I can definitely do Erik and/or M’Baku. If the character is complicated & “messy”, it is a go…

-Ramenfallsbutnotudon

(Writing music this time was just “Focus” by H.E.R. on repeat. Then “Hallucinations” by dvsn towards the end. Hence the slight sexual undertones…)

I don’t know why he does that…

Erik was sitting across from you beneath a window, the light catching in his hair. A deep reddish tint cast his dreads with light golden undertones. His baby hairs were unkempt and his hair was due to be re twisted soon. Erik sat listless; twiddling his locs absentmindedly – deep in thought about something that seemed far off. He was here physically, but his presence was nowhere to be found. It’s strange, isn’t it? How a living breathing human being could be less than a yard away from you, but you suddenly feel all alone.

He’d been moody all morning. He was always moody. Or maybe you had just been too cheerful these days. You liked looking at the way the light reflected off of his skin. It was a beautiful chestnut brown color when the sun shone on it.  The shadows cast mahogany undertones. Or maybe Sienna would be a better way to describe it. He reminds me of minerals deep in the earth. Hard to find, but precious and valuable once they come to light. But the earth buried so many secrets. So many things that could take ions and innumerable centuries to recover. Darkness breeds secrets and harbors things only those in those circumstances would understand. That is Erik. That is how he is when he is like this. I don’t know if I am the crane pulling him from the dark place, or another lost gem hidden amongst the dirt. Something that was here all along but is treated as foreign and alien – yet prized for its beauty and uniqueness.

Erik was sprawled out sideways in a purple armchair. His legs dangled and danced over an arm rest anxiously. You thought the armchair was kind of gaudy but he said he was “feeling it” when he seen it online. It had a very wide back and looked like some shit you’d see out of The Jetsons.

Some futuristic shit.

On the flip side, maybe it looked a bit like the wicker chair from that iconic Huey P. Newton photograph that hung in Erik’s room for years. Erik had always been into photography and all that other artistic shit. He loved going to indie photo exhibitions wearing glasses with a coffee in his hand. He always choose a different small Black-Owned business to support each time. Of course though, he didn’t always return. Sometimes the coffee was just that shitty despite his need to support it. You tried them along with him. However, your tastes sometimes didn’t match. He liked bitter coffee with a tiny drop of sugar and hardly any milk or cream. You liked too much milk and cream and even sugar. Sometimes it was just like that, loving someone who purposefully drank bitter things. Someone who didn’t want sweet things all the time because he knew that life wasn’t always sweet.

You stand up and slowly saunter over to him. Not in a provocative way, but in an airy almost dreamlike state. You didn’t know why, but you always felt a bit nervous around him. He didn’t scare you or intimidate you. You knew he’d never harm you…he was just too damn unpredictable. Not in an “I-am-walking-on-eggshells-because-my-partner-is-a-loose-cannon” type of way, but an “I-want-him-to-open-up-to-me/don’t-spook-the-deer” type of way. Is that even a thing, “don’t spook the deer”? I don’t think people would even think he was a deer. They’d think he was the jaguar. After all, he does have golden fangs.

But it’s true – he is a bit of both. But how can one be the predator and prey? Can a person be two people at the same time – two shifting dynamics melding into one?

Maybe it is the issue of the outward appearance vs the inward self. Erik has this bravado about him – like he’s Robin Hood or the Hood’s Daddy or some shit but other times he just seems scared. Unsure of himself and his actions. I don’t even think he notices that sometimes when he’s trying to be guarded – he’s completely transparent.

You lower your body down and rest its weight on your hind legs. Crouching in front of Erik’s body you tenderly caress his leg.

“Erik?”

He shuddered before turning his head to acknowledge you. In one swoop he lifted both of his legs and rested them between your frame. His boots made a light thud as his feet touched the wooden floor.

You look up at him and slide to your knees.  You felt like his eyes were looking right through you. They were dark, like newly formed chunks of obsidian after a volcanic eruption.  His eyelids seemed heavy, like he’d been up all night. Thinking back, you weren’t even sure if he slept fully the entire night or just lay silently next to you so you wouldn’t worry. There were so many little things you seemed to miss about him, and others were as apparent as the day was long. But then again, even the days take a break in winter and let the darkness yield over. Erik seemed like winter and fall and you felt like the spring. You met in summer and since you were spring you could handle the temperatures of fall. But not winter. It was a bit too cold and dark for you but he seemed to thrive in it. He pursed his lips before letting a smile break over his face.

“Hey, Princess” he said in a husky voice.

“Princess? When did I get that upgrade?”

His smiled seemed to fade a bit. You only meant to tease him.

“It’s always been yours. Just because I never said it, doesn’t mean I never thought it.”

You rose to your feet and looked down at him. He followed your body up and gazed wistfully at your stature now towering over him. His eyes then traveled down past your breast and to your navel. He leaned in and let his forehead rest on your womb.

“Hey…” you started, unsure of how to start the conversation you’d been having in your head for the last half hour.

“Hmm?”

You felt the vibrations of his voice mix with the rhythms of your body. Your heart beat. You felt your palms start to get clammy.  

On a seemingly queue, Erik reached for your hands and encircled his arms around your hips.

“I’m-I’m sweaty”

“I don’t care” his muffled voice indicated coolly.

You felt the weight of his head and the warmth of his body. It felt nice. Just standing here, in this moment.  You looked around his apartment. The living room was a bit bare, but there was an abundance of natural light. You watched dust particles lightly dance in a breeze coming in from an open window. He didn’t seem to enjoy being alone at home much. He mainly stayed at your place often…that is when he wasn’t out of the country or “on a mission”.

Your head started to throb at that word. Mission. You hated when he left. But you understood that he needed to find closure, even if his way meant sometimes killing people.

Erik kills people, but I still love him. What type of person does that make me?

You hold onto his arms. The grip in his biceps are tense.

Does he expect me to let go?

You decide to move closer, your heart beating out of your chest. You slide down onto his lap and position yourself in the sideways manor he was initially sitting. He exhales deeply and shifts himself in the chair. You feel a growing bulge between his legs. You angle your bottom over it sideways and smile at him. He beams back at you before attempting to kiss you. You turn away and let his lips brush against your cheek instead. A confused look passes his face for an instant before he sags his shoulders and reclines back in the chair.

You instantly feel bad.

Back to square one now.

You shift in the chair again and you see him close his eyes. He inhales deeply; you rest your head on his shoulder.

“You teasing me today, huh?” he says in a gruff voice.

He sounded frustrated, but you didn’t feel like it was about that.

“No” you chime innocently, reaching a hand over his face to stroke his bristly beard. He needed a shave as well, he’d been in a mood the past three days and hadn’t really done much. Then again, you were on a five day old wash n go so you couldn’t really fault him there. Maybe both of you were in your feelings, and not talking about it had made things worse.

But despite the tension hanging in the air, it didn’t feel uncomfortable. It just felt like you were vibing on each other’s energy, waiting for the other to make the first move; Afraid of saying the wrong thing and creating an environment that takes a turn for the worst.

He closed his eyes and you reached your face down to his lips. His breathing stopped in anticipation for a kiss. You licked his lips like a cat and his eyes flung open before smiling.

“What was that?” he asked, now starting to giggle. His eyes lit up with a brightness that reminded you of metallic stones.

You put up a hand and curl it into a paw.

“Meow” you say while patting the paw across his chest.

Your eyes meet and you both burst into laughter. He wraps his arms around you and you kiss his forehead. He then leans up to kiss yours.

Maybe now.

“If we were stones, what type do you think we’d be?”

He holds your gaze for longer than usual, still smiling.

“Babe, sometimes you have some weird shit on your mind” he said before laughing again.

“Here I thought you were mad at me for some shit I couldn’t think of-“

“-I thought you were mad at me?”

The corner of his mouth twitched. He swallowed hard before trying to make himself smile again. He thought you didn’t notice, but you did. You pull away from him and he stiffens up. He readjusts himself to sit up straight, the swell in his pants semi-stiff.

“Erik” your voice begins to crack “what is going on with you lately?”

Erik looks away from you and over his right shoulder. He licks his lips. You felt him grow hard beneath you. You raised your eyebrow.

“So you noticed….I guess I have been acting out of pocket, huh?” he said in a clearly forced calm voice.

I guess he thought that was convincing. His breathing is uneven. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything.

He lifted his shirt up over his head and took it off. There were shadows cast on his scars. You also noticed that there was a fresh black and blue mark on his shoulder blade.

“Erik…when did…” you tried to begin but were at a loss for words. He always at least hinted at when something like this happened. You had no idea. Had he hid it from you? Were you not paying attention?

“It’s two, actually…” he let his voice trail off after looking at your horrified face.

His eyes looked distant. He lowered them and nodded his head as he looked at something far away on the floor. His brows were scrunched together. His nostrils were flared. You could feel his heart beating in his chest. Fluttering, like butterfly wings.

You breathe in.

“…you…” you look into his eyes and he looks away. You grab his face. “When-?” your voice sounded breathless.

“A few days ago” he affirmed nonchalantly. Erik began to pick at the lining in the chair.

How could he be so callous about this?

You wanted to ask details but decided that maybe you didn’t want to know. You lay your head back on his shoulder and kiss his neck. He wasn’t hard anymore. You were happy about that.

He didn’t disgust you, you just didn’t understand him sometimes. Or understand the secrets he harbored deep within himself. You weren’t afraid of his truths, but rather his lies. Lies were capable of doing more harm than any truth could. At least that had always been your experience.

He closed his eyes and let you kiss his neck. You started to use your tongue, leaving wet marks across his skin. He shifted in the chair and let out a stifled moan. You moved up to his collar bone and left marks with your teeth. He wraps his hands around your body and picks you up to push you against the nearest wall. You both smile and you laugh as he goes up your neck with his lips. They feel soft and springy across your body. Like they are soaking up any doubts you held deep in your heart. You looked at him and caught his eye before closing yours again. He seemed troubled. The image burned in your mind as he slid off your clothes while cradling you in his arms. You tried undoing his clothing. He slammed you back into the wall hard and broke off a kiss to ask if you were alright. You held his face and nodded yes. Slowly, he slipped inside of you.

Obsidian and Praseodymium. That’s what we’d be. One was born from volcanic eruptions, the other a rare mineral found in the Earth’s crust. One is used to make tools for cutting but is brittle. The other is only completely stable in water. It has to be submerged to survive. Maybe that’s why I like him so much. He was born in waters only I can thrive in.

Obsidian and Praseodymium.

A/N: About the slight co-dependency…I was trying to target emotionally destructive behavior. I added this in because I think Killmonger would definitely exhibit some of this in his personality. Like yeah he’s confident and swaggering and sexy but he wouldn’t be like that 24/7 – or when he was alone with his thoughts. Also…I don’t know him personally or whatever – but it seems like MBJ might have a bit of this in his personality as well. I basically searched through his entire Instagram because I had an idea for another fic, and some of his posts seem kind of…lonely? Especially that “lost files” shit from 2016 and then posts after Black Panther he seems like a totally different dude. No more videos, cutesy photos, photos with actual friends…Which is understandable but at the same time it’s kind of like…dude what happened? It’s a visible shift. Then the whole lowkey thottie thing and Saweetie’s song 23 that talks about how he was really hung up on their last conversation then fucked her brains out in broad daylight…speeding down the highway high and she said they could have fucking died…I mean again I will probably never meet that man but if he hides his personal life and shit like this can be interpreted by the low-key actions we do hear about him? Unless I’m just projecting Lol, I fucking could be…

Really been in my feelings lately and it won’t go away, so I may as well milk it until I return back to “normal”. I’m also trying to decide on the journey to the ending for the last smut piece I wanna write that has now turned from a one-shot to a trilogy in my head lmao.

I also referenced photos of him as killmonger and one photo with that coon Donald Glover at the Met GALA on his Instagram for tone descriptions. That one has some weird lighting but it’s in line with what I was imagining lol. I wish I was better at describing skin tones, or more confident with it I should say.

[blinder-s]

Imagination / Eames

yo sorry this took me fuvking months and its still shit lol

here is my master list!

Words: 2,657

Warnings: swearings / illnesses / sad idk? its not that sad but 

You and Eames went back a long way. The two of you had dated for four years before you became ill and ended up in a different hospital bed every week. Then you called it quits.

Although it killed you to do it; you couldn’t watch him stagnate this way in his life, and you couldn’t bare to see him throw away his chances of living without love. 

So you broke up with him, severing all ties and cutting off all contact with him. You had no idea where your ex-boyfriend was these days, and although you only had yourself to blame; sometimes it upset you knowing that you’d never feel the way his arms wrapped around you again.

Eames missed you. How could he not? He tried to forget about you; how your hands fitted perfectly with his, and what it felt like to fall asleep next to you, only your tiny breaths and snores to be heard. But he knew you did it for his sake, because you didn’t want to see him sat next to your hospital bed every day instead of experiencing everything that someone else could give him. But what you didn’t know was that Eames would’ve spent every hour of everyday looking at your eyes, and spent every penny he had on flowers or anything to make you smile whilst you sat exhausted in the metal barred bed. 

Today was the day before his biggest and most important extraction. It was for a powerful man who Cobb believed could bring him back to America to see his children. And despite Eames spending the majority of his time gambling his days away in Mombasa, he too wanted to go home. But back to England. And mainly back to you.

He knew you’d be disappointed in him, the way he became dependent on poker, and the way he forged a living in a hidden-away city; all because of a mission that went wrong a couple of years back. His first attempt at inception.

The first level went smoothly, but then the second; his level. You were there and the idea didn’t take so he hibernated for several months in various bars in Salerno, before moving to Mombasa. In the middle of nowhere.

The day arrived, Eames not having slept a wink. He boarded the plane, following the structured plan and making side-glances at his old friend Cobb, and appallingly dull co-worker, Arthur. He even gave Saito a small smile, despite disliking the idea of having him being part of the dream and process. Though, he had become fairly useful in buying the first class cabin, and stopping Cobb from getting killed; so he rolled his eyes and sucked it up, and waited for the mission to begin.

It began quite badly, to say the least. Arthur hadn’t done his research, causing Eames’ snide and pessimistic comments to triple. He hadn’t always been this negative in life; when he was dating you, he hadn’t ever felt so happy and positive about life- you just seemed to make everything better for him. 

And then you left, and things came crashing down again. He was miserable. And being back around Arthur, who was originally a friend of yours, didn’t help at all.

You see, before you became ill, you were also part of the extraction team. You and Arthur worked side-by-side, having gone to college together and keeping in touch. The first moment Eames saw you, he knew you were the brightest star in the sky. 

The brightest star in the entire universe.

He watched as you worked with the impossibly boring man, managing to make everything more positive than ever. Whilst Arthur would fret and struggle with intricate details, you would just smile and point out the bigger picture. You didn’t seem to care if it annoyed Arthur, and often pointed things out so bluntly that Eames was sure you were asking for a punch. 

And that was what Eames loved about you.

So, you can see why he hated Arthur. Once upon a time, when you were in the picture, the two could see eye-to-eye and even joked around sometimes. Now, all that were exchanged were dull looks and steely glances between the pair. 

It was especially tense now, since Arthur had messed up the research, “(Y/N) wouldn’t have let this happen,” he growled, deliberately knocking into his shoulder. Arthur grabbed Eames’ forearm and pulled him to the side.

“You’ve gotta let her go, man,” he mumbled, “I know you’re thinking about her.” Arthur pulled Eames to the side.

“Fuck off, Arthur,” he grimaced. What killed him the most was the fact that Arthur and you still talked from time to time, whilst he was kept in the dark. He guessed it was fair, since you two were friends before he came into the picture, but did you not realise that he was still very much in love with you? 

“I’m sorry, Eames.” He consoled, following the British man over to where Cobb was, “you know she never wanted to end it with you, right? And I tried to stop her, but she insisted that you deserved a better life than one next to a hospital bed.”

Eames turned to the man.

“If you want her back then go and get her.” Arthur theorised, taking the path of ‘tough love’ in one last ditch attempt to try and get through to his colleague.

“I said fuck off, didn’t I Arthur? Are you really that incompetent?” Eames brushed him aside, anger taking over. Arthur was lucky he hadn’t already been punched. Eames however turned his attention to Cobb, his displeased nature shining through, “I was supposed to have tall night to crack this.” 

“Saito wasn't supposed to be shot in the chest.” He reasoned, “you’ve got one hour, so get us something useful. Please.” Dom’s last word was added as a plea, in hope. In desperation.

Eames knew exactly what desperation felt like. He was desperate for you; for anything. Your voice, your smile, you touch. 

So he continued on with the mission, trying to worm his way into Fischer’s mind as his uncle Peter. It wasn’t a difficult task, since he had been researching and practicing the man several months prior.

They continued down further and further until he was into his own dream. Of course Ariadne had prepared him for this, and everything was as it should be, despite Saito’s depleting health. 

It was at this stage that Eames felt hopeful. His grey eyes started to lift at the thought of completing inception, and even the thought of Cobb seeing his children after decades of torment. But it was the thought that he knew what he had to do.

He had to get back to you. 

All he could think of was your smile. The way your cheeks would redden, and your eyes would crinkle and your teeth would appear as white as snow. The way you always wore your favourite lipstick, but sometimes you’d wear red and Eames would go weak at the knees because, boy, you were something out of his dreams.

“Eames.” Cobb’s voice echoed through the walkie-talkie, snapping him out of his trance. He refocused his eyes and picked up the device, “it’s over.”

And just like that, he was brought back down to earth. There would never be any chance of seeing you again. There would be nothing left of him; and he would never be able to forgive himself if he knew that he couldn’t see you. He’d have to live with the guilt that he could have seen you, but gambled it away.

All he needed was the money from this job for a flight. And he was this close; he wasn’t about to lose you again.

“No.” He voiced, simply. “I can’t have that.” He cried, rushing towards the building, tears threatening to spill. 

“Get to the entry chamber now!” Ariadne’s voice echoed through the snow. He got to Fischer, beginning to revive him before the two other members came trudging in.

“What the hell happened?” He stammered, his eyebrows forming a straight line on his face. It was a face you often told Eames to stop, because it made him look intimidating and scary.

“Mal killed Fischer.” Cobb replied, “I couldn’t kill her. It’s all over.” 

And just like that, Eames felt his heart break in two. His face felt numb as it turned to a neutral expression, and he could feel his eyes clouding. Though he couldn’t be angry at Dom for what he’d done; since he knew what it was like to lose someone he loved. Though not to quite the extent, he too knew heartbreak and the implications of dreaming. It was Eames’ only way of seeing you, too.

“So that’s it, then? We failed?” His voice cracked, as much as he hated it. Dom nodded, the two of them looking at each other with solemn eyes. They both knew what was on the line for this mission. 

Though from the outside you’d never know it, Eames and Dom had an unspoken connection. Whether it was because they’d both been through such traumatic heart breaks, or because they were both fairly narcissistic, no one really knew. But they could both see the life falling from each others eyes as he said those two words, “we’re done.”

“There has to be another way,” Ariadne contemplated as the two men looked at each other dubiously, “we’ll follow him down there.” She pointed to Fischer’s lifeless body next to them.

And no matter how many times they thought of a flaw in her plan; she found a way to make it work. Eames just looked at his old friend, and muttered the words, “we’re already at rock bottom so we might as well try.” 

And so they followed Fischer down there and synchronised the kicks, before riding them all up back to the first level, where Eames continued his ploy of Uncle Peter. Having this much adrenaline, and this much to think about all at once almost made him forget about you. Almost.

The awakening on the plane was almost like an awakening of Eames’ mind, which had been clouded by grief for these past years. He rubbed his eyes, looking around the first class cabin in disbelief; shocked that they’d made the impossible possible.

He looked around, noticing Ariadne’s eyes, still groggy from her first extraction, but bright from hope and what she had just experienced. Arthur was already sat forward, waiting on Cobb and Saito, who had just awoken. 

It was good news. The smile on Cobb’s face, and Saito’s bewildered eyes said it all; it was a success. 

He was coming back to you, and his eyes lit up like yours always did on Christmas morning. The pit of his stomach was swarming with butterflies; because this was the moment he knew he was going to see you again.

“St James’ Hospital, wing seven.” Arthur whispered as he passed the man at the baggage claim. Eames looked at the man with a confused expression. Arthur turned back and gave the man an earnest smile.

And all those years of snarky comments and insults died down, and as Eames nodded to Cobb as he walked out, he felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. All those years grieving in bars and pubs seemed to have been years ago; he was him old self again.

Thanks to you.  

The flight back to his home country couldn’t go fast enough, and he was itching to get off as soon as he got on. He could barely sleep, his knees knocking and fingers tapping in anticipation in the thought of seeing you. 

It was something Eames had only dreamt about for so long, and the thought of seeing you in flesh was almost overwhelming. 

What if you’d changed? Gotten taller? Maturer? Wore different lipstick? What if he didn’t even recognise you?

These thoughts didn’t leave until he was outside St James’ Hospital, a taxi ride from the airport. He fiddled with his fingers as he walked through the open entrance and towards the receptionist.

“(Y/F/N) (Y/L/N),” he spoke to the grey haired man, “am I able to visit her?” 

The man looked at Eames, who was wearing his trusty suit that probably didn’t even fit anymore. It was too tight and too loose in the wrong places and it had a coffee stain on the left lapel. But it was the suit you picked out for him for your parents wedding anniversary dinner, and it was his favourite. 

He was shown up several flights of stairs and along god knows how many white corridors. Eames already knew he’d get lost whilst trying to find his was out eventually, since they seemed to be walking for miles on end.

Until they came to your door. Your name was written in block capitals, and a rota of different nurses who checked up on you was hung on a clipboard. 

He felt sick.

And as the man opened the door that lead to you, Eames’ stomach lurched; his heart dropped and his breathing became heavier; his eyes grew wide and it was as though he had lost all co-ordination of his limbs.

And when he saw you, in the flesh, he almost froze. His fingers stopped fiddling, and he caught his breath whilst looking at your figure in the hospital bed.

You were far more beautiful than he remembered. 

You were perfect. More perfect than any phosphene he had seen when he closed his eyes. More perfect than any of his dreams where he had imagined this moment for years. More perfect than he could remember, from warped memories that he tried to block out whilst he was grieving.

You were the prettiest colour he had ever seen; the loveliest flower in any garden; the brightest star in all of the universe.

And, just like that, he fell in love with you all over again.

Despite being shocked at his sudden appearance, you were more concerned about the fact that he could see the photo you kept beside your bed; one of you and him in front of the Eiffel Tower, on your anniversary.

The truth was; you broke up with Eames because he deserved a better life. And although you were almost better; you didn’t want to know about him. Purely because you couldn’t face it if he had moved onto someone new, and you didn’t want to know what could have been. 

“(Y/N)...” he breathed.

“Eames,” you smiled, still in disbelief that the man stood beside your bed was real. Not just one you’d dreamt up in countless day dreams and hopeful scenarios of parallel universes where you didn’t get sick, “what are you doing here?” You asked, your eyes welling up with tears and making your vision go blurry.

“I need you,” he muttered, crouching down and taking your hand in his, “I don’t care if I have to sit next to a hospital bed for eternity, (Y/N),” he begun, “I don’t care where I am in the world or what I’m doing. All I need is you beside me.”

You choked back a sob as he kissed your fingertips, “are you real?” You laughed, using your other hand to run your fingers through his hair, “I’ve only dreamt of you, it’s hard to know. Even if you are a figment of my imagination, Eames, you’re perfect.”

He laughed, pulling out his poker chip; his token. It defeated the point, but he knew that if he had you he was in the right dream for him. He wasn’t going back to doing jobs for dreams, and he certainly wasn’t going back to gambling.

He was going back to his reality; the one with you. 

“And even if you're just a figment of my imagination, thats not going to stop me from waiting for you.” 

[unicyclehippo]

omg can you please write a sequel/ part 2 to that supercorp fic you just posted where Lena finds out Kara is supergirl?!? It was so great but now I'm stressing that Lena doesn't react well. Only if you've got time of course :) also I love how you write supercorp in general, it's amazing and feels so on point

i have a fever & im hacking up a lung: this is, in my humble opinion, the time when my writing ability rly soars. rly comes into its strengths. rly just,,, fucjin rocks. enjoy, ur welcome :))/

kara has been waiting, and hoping - and stress eating her way through the kids menu - and more hoping, beyond the normal bounds of hope, that lena will turn up for the dinner date they’d set up before… before all that “i’m an alien blah blah specifically supergirl blah blah blah” stuff.

kara shoves her hand into her bowl of fries, pats around to find one as she checks the long row of windows and the two doors for any sign of lena. her face falls when all she encounters is the cool ceramic feeling of betrayal. and no lena.

she flags down a waiter.

“can i get another of the fries, please?”

he looks at her like he knows she’s already eaten her way through six of them. or maybe like he knows she’s been stood up. it makes her feel worse - slump back in her chair and try to keep from feeling like her heart is being crushed kind of worse - and he nods hurriedly and scurries away into the kitchen.

she pulls out her phone, taps on the second contact, aaalex.

>if after three hours someone hasn’t shown up to a dinner….

>u got stood up>or they’re dead

kara rolls her eyes. then has a minor panic because, well, lena is kind of a magnet for attempted murder. she strains her ears to listen for lena but it’s futile this close to the ground, this close to so many people.

>kara >lenas fine>dont break the restaurant or ur phone

kara blinks down at her phone.

>have you been playing with the telepath drugs

>no lol i learned my lesson. i just figured she’s the only one u have been going on dates with so…

kara glares down at her phone, taps the CALL button with furious precision.

“we aren’t dating, alex. they’re friend dates. dates between friends.”

“mhm.”

“and also i have been on plenty of dates lately!”

“sure,” alex allows, but kara suspects she’s only half listening.

“they’re not dates,” she mutters. “but she did stand me up.”

“yeah i know. you put your "date between friends” in my calendar so i was kind of surprised when she marched herself into my office tonight. she signed everything.“ alex waits for a moment. kara says nothing, just stubbornly munches through the fries the waiter puts in front of her. she’s relieved to hear lena is actually okay, and that she signed, but it’s all overshadowed by the fact that lena isn’t here, with her, eating something kara can’t pronounce and gushing about the science she’s been working on and the way she smiles when kara orders seconds and tries to pay and alex is talking again. "not sure what kind of damage control thats worth, if any. i mean, she’s a luthor. but i told j'onn not to even think about wiping her. or, i thought it really loudly.”

kara sighs.

“as is my right as a big sister, i get to tell you you’re an idiot,” alex says, far more mildly than kara expected. or deserved, really. “so what the hell happened? i thought we’d at least talk about it before you told her.”

“it wasn’t something i could deny. maybe i could’ve,” kara mutters, “if it weren’t for my too expressive face.”

“the too expressive face,” alex agrees unhappily. “you got us in a lot of trouble with that.”

kara rolls her eyes. “sorry twelve years late?” she offers and alex hums her thanks. “plus m'gann said hi. like she knew me, you know? she didn’t know someone was with me, it’s not her fault, but yeah. lena knew. i could see it. and then we were at her place and i realised she just knew i was an al- a foreigner,” she corrects, looking around the mostly empty restaurant, “and not supergirl,”

“hold up. she let you into her place knowing you’re an alien?”

“yeah.”

“huh, okay.”

“what?”

“no, nothing. let me guess, you told her.”

“dramatic reveal and all.”

“and this was…”

“last night.” kara checks her watch, lifts her hand to get the bill. she grimaces when she sees how expensive it is to eat her way through her feelings. but hey, if she’s going all out, what’s a little more? “can i get two of your pizzas takeaway and also four brownies? please.”

the waiter looks ill at the request but kara is too upset to care that she’s eaten way too much tonight. by human standards. she could still eat.

“alex, you still there?”

“yup.”

“are you free tonight?”

“nope.” she pops the ‘p’ with some relish. “day off tomorrow, maggie and i are taking our bikes down the coast, remember?”

“right, right.” kara hands over her card to the waiter, signs the bill he brings over. “what do i do?”

“about lena?”

“no, about the state of affairs in, ugh i can’t be bothered,” she mutters. “yes, about lena.”

“um. well, she hasn’t tried to kill you yet so…talk to her?” kara hears her step out into an echoing room - the parking lot, she guesses, and alex’s car beeps. “hold on, i’ll switch you to my hands free,”

“no, no, it’s okay. drive safe and have fun tomorrow.”

“we will. and i love you.”

“love you too.”

//

“hi, jess.”

“kara!” jess smiles over at her. “late night for everyone, hmm?”

“yeah, what are you doing here? it’s midnight, you should be home.”

“i’m just finishing up some work, i have the week off from tomorrow,” she explains. “do you want to see miss luthor?”

her phone buzzes on the side and jess glances up at kara after reading the message.

“let me guess, she’s not in.” jess gives her an awkward smile and kara closes her eyes, nods. “of course,” she says quietly. “okay, well,” she swallows around the thick feeling of tears and sets the brownies on the counter. “um. these are for her. or you. have a good night bye have a fun week,” she says very quickly and almost runs back to the elevator.

it dings open in seconds and kara rushes in, leans back against the wall of it. she holds herself together as much as she can, can’t really help sniffling but she can excuse that on a cold. she stares over at the shut box doors of the elevator and knows the second she gets home she’s going flying.

//

she wonders if she still has her aunts suit. she doesn’t feel like reds and blues tonight, wants to fly without the expectation that comes with her suit.

//

the suit, alex tells her, was quarantined.

kara shoves herself into some old jeans and a deep blue sweater and jumps into the sky. when she’s higher than the tallest building, she rolls onto her back and floats, staring up at the sky.

winn is still in the DEO headquarters. she doesn’t fly down, but she hears him typing away and watching some show on his second monitor. he’s been working late a lot lately. she doesn’t know if something is wrong or if it’s more guardian business but she misses him. she’d text him an invite, or ask him about a game night, only she left her phone at home.

james is on the phone to lucy when she flies overhead and they’re over but he still sounds adoring when he speaks to her, and happy.

alex is - doing things no sister needs to hear.

“kara.”

lena’s voice is small and kara jerks, almost rolls into the path of a bat, before she detects the slight slight whine of a voicemail.

“i know it’s late, you’re probably asleep, i just wanted to talk and,”

kara lands with a slight thump on lena’s office balcony and lena turns. the slight stutter of her heart comes not when she sees kara’s face, but her body. or, clothes.

“kara.”

she ends her voicemail, steps over to unlock the door.

“hi. i wasn’t - i was flying, i heard you.”

“oh.” lena’s fingers twitch. she folds her arms. “i signed everything.”

“yeah. alex told me.”

“i apologise for missing dinner.”

kara takes a step back, shakes her head. lena looks nervous the moment she frowns and it rips at kara. she takes another step back.

“you didn’t miss it. you stood me up.” lena doesn’t say anything. “why - what does it change?” she asks. “how am i different?” she tries to keep the frustration from her voice but whatever, she’s upset that her best friend is all wonky over this, fight her about it.

“you’re supergirl.”

“yeah.”

“i’m,”

“if you say a luthor i’m going to scream,” kara tells her, and lena’s teeth click closed around that exact phrase. “i’ve been telling you for months that i don’t care about that.”

“that’s from before i knew,”

“but i knew!” kara cries. “i knew, and i meant it, and i still mean it, and i just want,” she stutters to a stop, lifts a hand to her eyes. she’s not wearing her glasses so she just covers them with a hand and slowly drags it away when she’s contained again. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you. i didn’t want things to change. i didn’t,” the reason, or a reason, occurs to her and she sags a little. it’s selfish but lena deserves to know. “i didn’t want you to leave me,” she tells her, in a small voice.

lena has been very quiet and still as kara spoke and now she nods. “i am sorry about tonight. sometimes, i do things like that. when someone’s upset me.” she rolls her eyes delicately. “i’ve been told it’s a defence. throw someone off balance so i feel we’re on equal terms again.” her eyes are dark, cool. “i didn’t know. that you were an alien. i keep thinking and thinking, and i keep picking out all these instances and i just,” she shakes her head. “i can’t believe i didn’t know. i don’t like that i didn’t know.”

“i’m sorry.”

lena nods. “i can’t promise everything will be as it was before.”

kara nods as well. things - this, them - have changed and nothing goes back to how it was before a shift like that. as much as something might look the same, it never is.

“but i can tell you that in a month, there is a restaurant opening. i have four tickets, i would like for you to take one.” kara blinks at her. lena doesn’t smile but she does soften, a little. “i can’t tell how this is going to go, which is freaking me out a little and in a week i’m sure i’m gong to do something drastic,” she says with an edge of warning.

“i’ll be ready,” kara promises.

“good. all i can really say is that i will still want you to be around in a months time.” kara feels herself light up at the words. they’re not 'i’m not leaving you’ or 'i’m not sending you away’ but they’re pretty damn close. “and i don’t know how i feel about this, i don’t know when I’ll figure it out, but i already miss my friend kara.” kara nods her agreement. she can feel a lena sized hole opening up inside her the longer lena speaks, making herself clear that there is going to be a distance, a time for them to figure this out. she’s sure it’ll be a good thing; she’s equally sure it’ll hurt like hell.

“tomorrow is too soon to hang out, right?” kara checks. “it’s just, alex is away and winn is busy and,” she holds up her hands, shakes her head. “no, nevermind, too soon.”

it grows a little awkward - lena thanks her for the brownies, declines when kara offers to fly her home.

but the next morning, kara opens her front door to lena’s driver, a box of cookies and a small pot of yellow flowers and a note with just a short message.

'our lives are filled with tomorrow’s. this one isn’t ours, but perhaps the next one will be. enjoy your day x’

kara tucks it between the photo frame on her bedside table and the lamp and brings the flower pot with her to the couch. she sets up her next season and pulls the pot into her lap, wraps an arm around it. she pats the pot fondly, sends a photo of herself with it to lena, and settles in.

[birbleafs]

[fic] verdant green

Series: Tales of Zestiria Rating: T Genre: AU. Post-apocalyptic, Science Fiction, Cyberpunk/Dieselpunk. Character(s): Mikleo, Sorey, Atakk. Brief mentions of Michael, Muse and Zenrus. Warnings: Character death, mentions of terminal illness, nonsense sci-fi medical procedures and terminology. Summary:  Somewhere, encrypted within its system was a stream of coded information, of preserved memories, of a shared lifetime. A/N: So I've been seeing this post going around tumblr about using words like "smaragdine" in fic. And what started out as a joke conversation with Namio/Bagel on twitter turned into something more. Also, Buckminsterfullurene is not a made-up term. They are actually the smallest molecule of carbon shaped like a hollow hexagonal sphere, like a football (that's why they're also called 'buckyballs') except nano-sized. Fic can also be read on AO3

Mikleo refused to vocalize it, of course—Sorey doesn't need to know of it, never needs to—but even he had to admit there was an amorphous beauty to them. If he was allowed to observe them up-close and for longer, he would marvel at that perfect formation of fused-rings, structured and welded together into a tight crystalline sphere, their colour the verdant green of lush forests, of unearthed emeralds hidden in sunken pirate hoards.

Or like smaragdine Buckminsterfullerenes.

Mikleo frowned, and then mentally shuddered, adjusting his glasses over the bridge of his nose with a delicate finger. The corner of his lips crinkled into a crooked smile as he fingered the brass locket around his neck, feeling the blunt edges of the hexagonal sphere. Now that was a terrible way to describe anyone's eyes, though he suspected Sorey would have found it cool anyway, because, Mikleo, look! This author knows about buckyballs too! Think they know anything else about other nanoparticles?

Maybe, he would’ve replied with a frown and a huff, though probably not as much as their proclivity for waxing lyrical with, uh, less than palatable prose.

A heavy silence lingered over him, and—

And Mikleo could almost see it, could almost hear it—the tiny curve of a smirk, an amused snort and then Sorey’s laugh, bright and radiant like sunrise. He blinked, suddenly aware of the throbbing ache within his chest; he straightened himself in his seat, glancing up at the glowing panels beside the bed. Electric-blue lines danced in spikes across the dark screen in tune to the soft beeps of the instruments, like waves crashing and receding from the shoreline.

“How much longer, Atakk?” Mikleo asked, turning his gaze back to the bed, at the figure resting. The small droid beside him chimed a soft response, yellow lights blinking steadily as it continued its extraction work.

“Right,” Mikleo said, and then to Atakk’s second beep—a query, this time—he exhaled softly, before he managed a tiny, reassuring smile. “I’m all right. Just…nervous. But we’ve here now. And I...”

Another sigh, fingers curling into his palms, digging into flesh and, “I... We—There’s no turning back now. Not when we’ve come this far. Sorey will understand.”

Sorey wouldn’t want this and you know it, said the quiet voice in his head, and Mikleo knew, in the deepest recesses of his heart, it was true. Sorey would want him to move on, to be happy, to live—

But what about what I want? He thought bitterly, almost angrily. They had all left him, one by one. Mother first, in the crash, and then Uncle in that incident when The Council had demanded access to his research, had coerced him into a project he’d fought hard against and failed. Even Gramps was gone, returned to dust and cinders. Mikleo had lost them all within a span of five years and now, after months of endless tests and bacta-therapy/arti-org graft procedures and hollow promises of he’ll be cured and awake in no time, don’t you worry! ...

Mikleo sighed, squeezing his eyes shut to chase away the pain and memory, to find his centre again.

No, he would not lose Sorey either; he could not. He was selfish, he knew, for wanting this, but he was also afraid. If they could not, would not save Sorey—then, he will.

Atakk’s excited whistle drew Mikleo back to the present and he opened his eyes. He watched the droid remove its data extraction limb from the tangle of wires and cables that ran from the instruments and up the bed frame, to the device strapped around the figure’s head. Turning to the panels again, Mikleo could see the blue spikes gradually receding, the oscillation sluggish now, before it finally flatlined. The instruments began to screech, and Mikleo quickly moved to flick the power button off, killing off the alarm.

For a moment, he neither moved nor spoke—gazing through the silence of the room at the figure on the bed, his eyes misty from guilt, pain and longing. Then, he rose from the chair and patted the droid fondly over its domed head. “Let’s get out of here before someone notices.”

Atakk chirruped a positive and quietly rolled towards the door. Mikleo followed suit, pausing only at the doorway to glance furtively back at the motionless figure.

Forgive me, Sorey. But I’m going to save you—I promise.

*

They left the city before dawn, riding past residential blocks of dreary grey, the land-speeder coughing out clouds of grit and yellowed dust in its wake as the engine whined in tune to the faint trill of birdsong. Camlann had never been more than a decaying city of rusting metal architecture and sun-baked streets. But it was the only place Mikleo had known, had called home for the past twenty-one years.

It’s not really home anymore though. Not since Mother and Uncle and Gramps...

He shook his head, concentrating on the dusty trail ahead, before looking over at Atakk. The droid whistled softly in the seat beside him, beads of lights flashing in sequence over its front panels. Somewhere, encrypted within its system was a stream of coded information, of preserved memories, of a shared lifetime. Somewhere, embedded in the deluge of algorithms and alpha-numeric ciphers was a glimmer of hope, of home again.

By early noon, they’d left Camlann far behind them, blazing ahead towards the deserted valleys of Elysium.

  *

He sat, for three days and nights, in a makeshift bunk in a rocky cleft, hidden from view by sparse shrubbery at the foot of a hill. Atakk was always by his side. The droid’s extraction limb was plugged into the network of cables and creaking machinery around them, information—information and memory and a shared lifetime—downloading in flashing blips of green and blue upon the screen.

Mikleo sat upon a bed of desert flowers entwined with curling vines, fingering the brass locket in his hand, watching the viridescent glow cast nebulous shapes over the slate-grey rock face surrounding them.

He sat and waited, the sound of whirring mechanical parts his only lullaby.

*

It almost seemed too long, too bleak, but finally, finally—the sun broke through gloom and misty cloud banks, and Atakk chirped. The droid wiggled where it had stood motionless for days, releasing a series of excited beeps and whistles. Mikleo moved quickly to its side, blood rushing in his ears, his heart pounding as his gaze flickered over to the cramped corner of the cave.

He exhaled, softly, slowly. There was a whirr of pistons and the soft whine of mechanical joints. Mikleo watched in silent awe as the figure—an android shaped and formed like a young humanoid male—sat up, one hand raised to brush a lock of synthetic brown hair from his forehead. The android held up both arms, studying them for a moment, before turning to gaze at Mikleo. His eyes were over-bright in the dim cave, bright and radiant like sunrise. Bright like the verdant green of lush forests, of unearthed emeralds hidden in sunken pirate hoards.

Bright like—

“Smaragdine.” The low, electronic voice echoed through the cave; a long pause, and then—“Buckminsterfullerenes.”

The android blinked and tilted his head in an angle that was achingly familiar to Mikleo.

“Mikleo…?” the android said, and Mikleo felt his heart clench, relief and yearning and sorrow all rolling into one and threatening to overwhelm him. He’d almost wanted to laugh then, at the absurdity, at everything. But he let out a sigh of relief instead, the knots and tension he hadn’t realised was there gradually dissipated from his shoulders.

“I... I know you. I know us,” the android repeated, testing the feel of his voice as though he’d finally understood his nature, of his being . And this time, Mikleo knew for sure, it was Sorey’s voice. It sounded lower, inflected with a synthesized edge now, but still, it was unmistakably...

His eyes burning, Mikleo reached towards the android—towards Sorey, now awake and aware; towards Sorey, his dearest friend, the only person left in this crumbling barren world who was family—and pulled him into a tight embrace.

“I’m here, Sorey,” he said, voice strained and heavy with emotion. He could feel the soft vibration of whirring gears through Sorey’s chest, could hear the gentle ticking of a clockwork heart encased in alloy and steel. “Took you long enough.”

“Mikleo,” Sorey said once more, his head still angled in confusion. But his eyes were filled with recognition and warmth. “Looks like I’ve missed a lot. What... happened? Did we—” He looked around the cave in wonderment. “Did we fall down a hole because of you again?”

Mikleo crinkled his nose in slight petulance, brushing away stray tears from his eyes before they could fall. Beside them, Atakk was still wiggling in barely contained excitement, chirruping lightly. Mikleo laughed softly then, and tightened his hold around Sorey.

“It’s a long story…”

  —end—

End notes: Seriously though, please don't call anyone's eyes "smaragdine orbs", unless they're part lizard-man/dragon or literal jewels LOL I don't really know what this is but the idea wouldn't leave me. Showers are dangerous places to cultivate plot bunnies. Some backstory to this AU, because idk if I'll write more for it: - Mikleo and Sorey are Bio-engineering research graduates. Their interest in the study of ecology and mechatronics was, in part, due to Michael, who is a well-known Robotics scientist within the Academy's research circles and Muse, who worked as a conservationist. Sorey's mother, Selene, was one of the few who dared brave the safety of the City Dome to explore the endless sand dunes outside. Shortly after giving birth to Sorey, she headed out on a scouting expedition, searching for the famed oases rumored to exist somewhere in the Elysium valleys. She never returned to Camlann. - When the boys were sixteen, the Council of Camlann approached Michael to recruit his skills for Project War Machine. However, he refused to co-operate as he'd only wished to apply robotics for the betterment of their people, not to create weaponized droids in the War of the Dying Cities. He and Muse were punished severely for their refusal. - Gramps became Mikleo and Sorey's guardian after Michael and Muse's deaths, but he was old and frail, and soon succumbed to the Dust Plague. Sorey caught the Dust virus while venturing out to the sand dunes to collect water samples from the solar-powered harvesters. The Dust virus causes gradual failure of all vital organs and patients soon fall into a deep coma that most do not awake from. - Mikleo searched for a cure, but could not find any. When he looked over Michael's old research notes in transferring a person's ghost (his uncle's term for the human soul) into a synthesized host body, he knew then what he had to do to save Sorey. For two years, he worked on building android prototypes in secret and when he finally created the perfect model, he set his plan in motion. - Atakk is named so because of its model number: AT-AK01. The droid belonged to Michael and had helped him with his research. -Mikleo's brass locket was an anniversary gift from his father to Muse. His father had passed away before he was born. - I was listening to this track from the Wonder Woman OST while editing and was promptly whelmed with feels. sorry for the pain adskffjhf

[i-cry-kpop]

Top 10 Biases

Tagged by: @suju-bangtan tysm!!!! 💕(This is low key torture tho so maybe not too much thanks lol). This is gonna be long so sorry in advance. (Also u will notice I mention crying a lot. If u don’t already know I cry A LOT and I love to be sad so just warning u). 1. TOP - Bigbang. This man. This man! I have no words. He is perfection. He is my life, my soul, my world. I love him with my whole being. He is my everything. I cry about him every single day and his enlistment is actually gonna be the death of me. I miss him so much. He’s beautiful inside and out (damn those visuals and that voice. He’s gonna kill me one day). He’s funny. He’s sad. He’s humble. He’s a weirdo and a bingu and a choom and a tabi. He’s my ultimate bias and I couldn’t be happier. 2. Namjoon - BTS. This is so bittersweet. Namjoon was my first kpop love. He was my ult bias for so long because bts was the only group I was into but then TOP came and shook me. He stole my heart away from namjoon. I’m a traitor but I still love this man so much. He is so under appreciated and he gets so much hate he doesn’t deserve. He has led bts to achieve so much and I am so proud of him. He is so smart and humble and u can see how beautiful his soul is in everything he does. I love him and I am sorry everyday that I left him. 3. Jaejoong - DBSK. Yes that’s right just DBSK because in my heart they are forever 5. Jaejoong is such an enigma to me. He’s obviously beautiful and super talented but he’s also had such a hard life and my heart just aches for him. I love him and I cry about him daily. He’s always seems kinda angry deep down and I can never seem to figure him out. I love the mystery of a man who is one of the most public figures in Korea but also so private. 4. IU - solo. IU is a recent love of mine but she has quickly become my queen. I will worship the ground this woman walks on. Never have I seen a more beautiful woman and omg that voice! If IU ever looked at me I would melt. My only wish is for her to be happy and successful for as long as she wants to keep making music. She is the only kpop artist who has never produced a song I don’t like (and yes I’m including the super early stuff). She and her music are perfect. 5. Bom - 2NE1. Another example of a very sad idol. She deserves so much better and my heart breaks for her current situation. I miss 2ne1 so much. They all deserved better. Bom’s voice is probably my favorite in the whole industry just because of how unique it is. Hearing her sing always warms my heart. I hope she gets the solo album she deserves soon but even if she never does I’ll always love her. (Also everyone needs to stop talking about her looks. She’s beautiful no matter what). 6. Baro - B1A4. Stan talent stan B1A4. They are amazing!!!!!! I love literally all of them and tbh idk is Baro is my bias in this group cause I literally love them all but as of now he's my fav. B1A4 are the only rays of sunshine on this list. They are so happy and pure and I love them. I could go on all day about how cute and squishy and loving and caring they all are but I won't cause it's too much. Stan them please. They deserve all the love. Download A Lie on iTunes. 7. Yongguk - BAP. So I struggled with this cause I love Jongup and Yongguk so much but I have a rule where I can only have one bias per group and Jongup is technically my son so Yongguk is the bias. Anyway... Yongguk is amazing. His voice does things to me. I love the music he produces and he has been an amazing leader for BAP. He's gotten them through so much together even when everyone thought all hope was lost. He struggles with mental illness a lot and I just hope he's feeling better and can feel all the love Baby's give him. We truly appreciate all his hard work and I know that doesn't get rid of the stress but I wish I could tell him that he's done enough and that we'll take it from here. BAP is also under appreciated so show them some love. 8. Jaehwan - VIXX. So this will probably come as a shock to some that have talked to me about VIXX before cause I've always said Ravi was my bias but I just can't stay away from Ken. Ken is so low key savage and I love it so much. He is an amazing vocalist and has the best voice in the group (personal opinion and no offense meant to Leo cause he's also amazing obviously). Ken had really stolen my heart and I wanna keep falling in love with him. 9. Jaebum - Got7. Jaebum first shook me when I saw the just right mv for the first time and he was looking fine in that car. That clip still shakes me to this day and jaebum x cars is my otp. Outside of how pretty he is I love how jaebum is the rock that holds the tornado that is got7 together. Without him I think they'd self destruct but he is such a calm and steady leader and he's always looking out for them (especially the foreign members) so they are able to be their wild selves and still succeed. He really warms my heart and he is the only man who's love of cats I accept (except maybe jiyong but that's a whole other story). 10. Onew - SHINee. Yet another leader lol. Onew was such a struggle for me to stan. I literally went through every member of shinee except Taemin before I landed on Onew. It's because SHINee in general is just much softer than what I usually like but my bff love them so I love them too. Back to Onew... he is so low key and I think that's the best way to describe him in every aspect. He stands to the side and doesn't say as much but he's so funny when he talks and is such a gentle leader that you don't even realize how good he is at it. Onew is amazing and I love how understated he is while also being a giant dork. He's just being himself and it's great. (Also that time he dated someone for like a year without Dispatch finding out is legendary. Get on this level!) If you made it this far thank you!!! I'll tag @sendmeapiesenpai @mxci @tabis-eyebrows @skrrrt @tabi-ears @julla @shinwoosmile @bigbangbabes @chokemeyoonmin @choke-me-seokjin

[swearronchanel]

6.08, my last commentary™ R I P to me

I wanted to post this right away but my phone died and I broke my charger so I had to handle that but now I’m finally able to. I’m literally dead, I STILL can not process how amazing it was. So I’ll just get on with it post my earlier thoughts  

¡¡TODAY IS THE DAY AHH!! IM FREAKING LATE KILL ME

BUT HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? IM NOT READY FOR THIS SERIES TO END BUT I NEED TO SEE SHELGAH *SAFELY* GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY. ANYWAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE AFTER THIS EPISODE SO ENJOY THE FINAL THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE, LETS GET IT ..

MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS BEATING SO FAST

TBH I MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

SCREW THESE CREDITS BUT I NEED THEM BC IM NOT READY OMG

IM SCREAMING

aw baby! & hey val

Does this mean Delia had No letters from pats this whole time??

MY BBY SHELAGH OMG HER BELLY

SHE CANT REACH HER SHOE OMG SO PRECIOUS THOUGH

Sister MJ I love u 😭😂

Family planning clinic!

YES VAL! they’re women not criminals !!

YES TRIXIE THANKS BBY FOR SPEAKING UP

aww poor Barbara

“..There are tales of missionaries served for luncheon in those climes” LMAO OMG SISTER MJ THATS NOT WHAT SHE NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW

It’s so sweet that Babs really wants her dad, I feel. My grandfather officiated my parents’ and brother’s wedding, I hope he does mine. If someone wants to marry me one day ofc lol 😂😭

SHELAGH IS ACTUALLY YELLING .. WHY DO I LOVE IT?

All the shit she’s been through/delt with and pregnancy sets her off huh..

BUT TRIXE AND SHEALGH INTERACTING YESS NOT THE WAY I WANTED BUT ILL TAKE IT FOR NOW

AWW MY BBY CRYING SOMEONE HUG HER 😭😭💕💕

MY BBY TRIXIE IS SMIRKING AT MY OTHER BBY LOL STOP 😭😭💔

“Hot and bothered” 😭😂 Violet having hot flashes. That’s not funny but i giggled I’m sorry immature of me

I can’t imagine being around when the pill was just coming out(or antibiotics even) like that must have been so wild ? you really would think they were magic *remember Vanessa Redgrave saying that in series 2?*

my mom is a nurse at a gyn/fertility office and she informed me of so much at a young age lol maybe that’s why I’m so curious idk?

lol I remember being like 13 and my friends didn’t know there was more than just the pill when it came to birth control and I really felt I was an expert😂 but *a judge’s voice* irrelevance moving on.

Needing your husbands permisson for a bank account? *sucks teeth* Vete ya!

Aw my bby shelagh 💔💔😭

“And I’ll warrant you’ve never felt more scared” I AM! AND THIS ISNT EVEN MY FICTIONAL PREGNANCY

“Oh lass“😭 PHYLLIS COMFORTING HER OMG I AM CRYING ALREADY, I NEVER KNEW I WANTED THIS

"Phyllis you’ve been a real friend” IM NOT OKAY OMG, THEY’VE COME SO FAR I CRY

OMG SHELAGH BEING SO CUTE WTF OMGGG 💖

PROTECT MY BBY & HER BABY AT ALL COSTS 💕💕

THE NONNATUNs CHEERING SO PURE 😭

“What if something goes wrong?” stop tempting fate Patrick !!

“I’ve made up my mind” MY BBY I CANT DEAL .. once upon a time she couldn’t speak up and was so timid 😭 my bby has grown

Her lipstick is a nice color, wait what’s this lady’s name?

The nurses all together makes me so happy omg why is this so adorable, even Phyllis is there !! SO PURE💕

Lol poor Fred tries his best !

Damn secondment to st Cuthberts, I guess Trixie couldn’t even be considered for to be Shelagh’s midwife

SHELAGH IN THE CARDIGAN >>

OF COURSE SHE CHOSE SISTER JULIENNE WE WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED IT ANY OTHER WAY

“‘MY DEAR” BRB DROWNING IN TEARS

but omg was Phyllis disappointed 😭 no don’t be hurt that’s her basically her mother! (sister j and Phyllis would’ve been a good tag team though)

this montage just reminds me brb #irresponsibleme

Future Hereward’s take a note from the Turners, find out about each other sooner rather than later

LOL TOM’S AWKWARD FACE BC BABS IS GETTING CONTRACEPTION

it’s Wilma! her name is Wilma, noted.

Lol what does she sell? Is the company like Avon ? 😂I’m confused but also screaming too much internally

poor Babs is so nervous and feeling awkward 😂

Her face while on the bed😂 I feel

LMAO BABS TAKING OUT THE DIAPHRAGM & DROPPING IT HA

BUT WAIT THAT WAS THE TURNERS BATHROOM WTF ??

Patrick putting on or tying Shelagh’s shoes my fucking heart is melting

She doesn’t want him there .. for now?

“..We’re a team” 😭😭💕💕 marriage goals

“The minute I look at you I’ll give you everything you ask for” BRB I AM INDEED GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

I CAN NOT DEAL

Phyllis exercising 😭😂

“I have chosen one of my friends” OMG MY HEART

PHYLLIS BE MY BRIDESMAID !??

why does she only have one though? is it more like a maid of honor?

HERES COME MORE TEARS

THE SPANISH AYE DIOS MI CORAZON

Aw good for Wilma being happy with her job! Does everyone call the sofa the settee?

There’s that babycham! Still was never sure if it was alcoholic or nah? sparkling cider maybe?

OMG I HAVE A BOTTLE IN MY BAG THAT I BROUGHT FROM FLORIDA

new drinking came, shots every time the show makes you cry lol jk i’d be on the floor 20 mins in 

that sports car aye

My bby looking good 😍😍

she knows what it’s like to be hurt Christopher😭

You’re not supposed to take 3 at a time Wilma, I’ve been scolded enough

Okay so Babs just fell asleep and that’s all?? Preview made it seem more dramatic

Now is Val going to listen and not touch anything? lol probably

Violet always rocking blue eyeshadow haha

Is that a silicone faja?? that looks hella uncomfortable

TRIXIE’S FACE OF DISGUST HAHA

OMG THE FAM HELPING OUT WITH FUNDS MY HEART

I WANT TO BE APART OF THE NONNATUS FAMILY!

PHYLLIS AND BABS DRESS SHOPPING I LOVE THIS

“.. she’ll have me to reckon with”  TE QUERIO MUCHO PHYLLIS

I NEED A PHYLLIS IN MY LIFE

SHE HAS A FAV DRESS OMG I LOVE HER

HER FACE OMG I NEED THAT SCREENSHOTTED

SHELAGH MY BBY😭😭

Their new bedroom is so 60s I love it

She still didn’t read the pamphlet !! I love her omg, such pure intentions

OMG SISTER J REMINISCING, AH FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE WAS A NUN, I AM SOBBING BYEE IM DYING. MY HEART RATE IS SLOWING DOWN

POOR DEELS AW OMG she doesn’t deserve this, she barely has screen time don’t hurt her 

Shealgh’s got another nightgown! 1962/2017 is apparently the year of nighties #thebrinylonforthewinthough

I love pink waffers 😭😂

SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH WILMA IM SCARED, IS IT A HEART ATTACK?? BLOOD CLOT??

poor vi!! aww she misses reggie too!

AW FRED HUG HER

and he’s fanning her omg so pure

SHEALGH’S GOING IN TO LABOR ?? AHHHHH OMGG IM NOT READY

but also she has a housecoat how cute

SISTER J SAID “HIS SPINE” OMG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ALREADY

“I knew it” bless u bby😭😭 she is a GEM. WHY IS SHE SO LOVABLE?

omg Wilma don’t die, Trixie can u save her 😭

shit not looking good, maybe this was the death they meant

shelagh throwing up yikes

“She’s smiling and waving” yea we know that smiling and waving😂😂 but omg doesn’t this remind anyone of when you’ve been partying too hard but you’re trying to convince your friends that you’re not ready to tap out yet😂😭

if not nevermind I’ll feel trashy lmaoo

PASS THAT GAS AND AIR SISTER J

AW BBY YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!

IM CRYING BUT RUNNING OUT OF TEARS

HOW TF DOES LAURA LOOK GORGEOUS ALL SWEATY AND IN TEARS WHILE PRETENDING TO BE IN LABOR?? & i’m still a creature?

Poor Patrick! He must be going as crazy as I am!

I DONT HAVE ASTHMA BUT I NEED AN INHALER BC I CANT BREATHE IM SO ANXIOUS OMG

IM NOT A SMOKER BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A CIGG BC IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT

Trixie is doing Wilma’s makeup omg I can’t take this 😭💔💔

“I can’t believe I used to dream of this” OMG SHELAGH & SISTER J

“Every woman alive is the sum of all she ever did, and felt, and was.” ..“and how do you know that?” ..“ i wasn’t aware that I did until just now”

¡¡¡IM A W R E C K!!! l o v e that

SHE IS SINGING DORIS DAY’s SECRET LOVE AND I AM F*CKING DEAD GOODBYE

PATRICK SINGING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SOMEONE SEND H E L P IM DYING I BET IT’S “THEIR SONG” & YOU ARE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS EPISODE  

I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

“We can’t just be like any other couple.. because we’re us”

MY HEART WTF I SWEAR IT IS ABOUT TO BURST BUT IT’S NOT BEATING

IM DEAD INSIDE AND MY BODY WILL FOLLOW WHEN THIS IS OVER

Get in there Patrick!

“The children are here” .. to say goodnight omg no😢

OMG PATRICK HOLDING HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

“YOU CLEVER GIRL” OMGG WHO CALLED IT

I CANT SEE WHATS HAPPENING TOO MANY TEARS IN MY EYES

IT’S A BOY I KNEW IT WELL I HAD A FEELING !

BABYTURNERLAND 2.0!!!! QUE LINDO DIOS TE BENDIGA 💖👼🏼

WHAT IS HIS NAME???

THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF MY LIFE WOW I CANT PROCESS IT ALL

“May the lord bless you and keep you” OMGGG, JESUS HEIDI WTF ARE YOU DOING TO ME ??!! I’ve never been so invested in a show or fictional characters’ lives like this 😭😭

I NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SEE THIS DAY AND IM HAVING SO MANY FEELS, I BARELY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS I AM S h o o k, I AM NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. JUST USELESS TRASH FOR CTM

WELL, ALMOST 19 YEARS OF LIVING WAS GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?

HONESTLY JUST PUT ME IN THE GARBAGE BC I HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY IM JUST GUSHING AND DYING

BUT SERIOUSLY LAURA MAIN IS I N C R E D I B L E AND DESERVES EVERY AWARD SO PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER @ THE EMMYS, THE SAGS, THE GOLDEN GLOBES & ALL OTHER AWARDS OF ALL PRESTIGE!!  STOP PLAYING GAMES & GIVE LAURA + CTM THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES  !! & no excuses it happened for downton!

NO WILMA IS DEAD NO

The pill is so great and useful and miraculous in a way but I’m glad they showed some of its issues but DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO KILL THE FIRST WOMEN THEY GAVE IT TO? I’m still here tho, I’m rolling

NO TOM DONT SAY THaT WTF? TRIXIE IS OVER U AND U ARE OVER HER don’t ruin the moment

why did I think bab’s dad was the rev Applebee Thornton 😭😂😂😂?? where’s Jane lol

My bby trixie serving looks as always 😍😍

Aw his daughter is cute

CHRISTOPHER LOOKS GOOD TOO UGH😍

What are knickerbocker glories?

lol Boots! lowkey want to go there to satisfy my 15 year old self who liked to watch British youtubers affordable makeup videos (tbh I still do when I’m bored)

REGGIE! OMG HE CALLED VI MUM I DIE

OH YEA THE WEDDING OMG LOL I DONT FORGOT FOR A SEC

IM STILL SCREAMING, MY FREAKING BBY JUST HAD A MIRACLE BABY !!!!! I LEGIT RAN OUT OF TEARS WHAT DO I DO

LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME MY GOD

THE GIRLS SINGING “HAPPY WEDDING DAY” TO BABS OMG THAT WAS GREAT, I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT

I NEED TO WATCH THIS AGAIN AND IT DIDNT FINISH YET

LMAO TOM AND FRED HUNGOVER, relatable AF😂😭

SO IS TOM’S SURPRISE IS MONEY? Or is he going to buy her something!?

Barbara’s cape reminds me of Phoebe’s from FRIENDS

The stain glass !! love it

PHYLLIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE OMG HER BOUCLE SUIT AW

WHY A HEADBAND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY BABs? BUT good for them lol 😭 I don’t care enough at the moment  but let them be happy they’re so great for each other !

HE GOT A FUCKING CAROUSEL OMG

damn. Nice one Tom. I’m a little jealous, someone needs to love me like that.😭

“At times, the present seems most perfect when it seeds lie in the past. And others, life is rendered flawless when we look towards future, glimpsing from within one golden moment all the joys the days to come might hold” 💕😢😭

THE TURNERS, NOW A FAMILY OF 5 OMGGGGGGG 😭😭

THE NUNS SO PURE ❣️ lol obviously

“We can not stand still because the world keeps turning. Every year must give way to the next and it’s stories must be folded, tucked away like children’s clothes outgrown, cherished and never quite forgotten”

VANNESSA ALWAYS SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS UGH

Aw Angela with Tim!

My BBY SHELAGH IN HER BLUE OUTFIT WITH UNNAMED BABY TURNER ID CRY IF I COULD

“1962 was a year of great change at Nonnatus House, but there’s always change, everywhere, there are always new faces, new tears to shed, new joys to invest in , yet the circle of love is not broken, it expands.” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🙏🏼👏🏼🙌🏻😭😭😢😢💖💖

I NEED THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL LIKE TOMORROW PLEASE

lol Val screaming it’s snowing 😭 same

PATSY!!!

SHE AND DELIA KISSED OMG

GOOD FOR THEM 😭

ALSO GOOD FOR ME bc I was tired of the same complaints that BBC broke them apart and Patsy was “sent away” nah man Emerald was busy!

“Love bares all things, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and love never ends”

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE WOW IM A MESS

IF I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE COMMISSONED FOR 3 MORE SERIES I’D THINK THIS WAS THE END??

BUT UGH NOW WE MUST WAIT

ANYWAY I SEE THE LIGHT FOLKS

IDK IF THIS IS HELL OR HEAVEN BUT I AM DEAD, I SEE THE EARTH BEHIND ME

TBH ITS PROB HELL

Someone throw me in the damn ground already!!

In loving memory of Gabby Nuñez (1998-2017) taken far too soon because of the emotional toll brought by call the midwife, she didn’t choose to get so emotionally invested it just happened. She is grateful for her time on earth, you may leave comments, flowers or send money. Thank you for putting up with her nonsense and foolishness *now someone give my eulogy & someone else may come up and sing a hymn to conclude*

[blackdogpanopticon]

Music = Life

So when I began to think about what I would like my first post (other than my introduction) to be about, I think the topic quite quickly jumped out at me. Or to use a related term, its caught me like an ear worm. Music for me has always dominated my life, in the best possible way. I personally can't live without it. To get the cliche out of the way, because it needs to be said; music is life. Its in everything we do. Its in the beat of your feet as you walk down the street. Its in the voices of young children who are learning how to form their first words. Its the very context in which my life is set i suppose; or at least a large part of the context.

It goes right back to the parents doesn't it. My dad was and always will be massively into music. And he really knows his stuff in my opinion. From the Ramones to Sandy Denny, Bob Dylan to Nirvana, Led Zep to Bright Eyes (one of the few acts we have seen together, amazing gig, don't get me started! Ha!). Even my mother who has never been massively into music has her favourite artists and things, Adam and the Ants, Van Morrison etc. So that's where it starts doesn't it, they set and create your first influences by showing you their interests and in this way you develop your own. You draw from your friends, acquaintances and enemies alike.

When I was younger my first big musical taste/love/subculture of my own was emo, punk rock, mosh and hardcore. I was an emo kid I will proudly say. I don't care what you think of that, but you should know it about me. And so it went that from a young age I learnt to play drums and always played in bands. I never did any serious gigs, a few here and there. All my bands always fell out even before it got to that point! Ha. But I was a competent drummer and I used to love playing, practising and jamming. I spent a lot of time on it and it was a big part of my childhood. But we shall come back to this topic in a future article I am certain.

For now I want to try to talk about the influence of music on issues of mental health and vice versa. As you know, music and mental health have a massive interlink, an intersection, an intrinsic bond. I will always remember my dad showing me Nirvana (my little bro got them before I did to give him credit actually, props). And then he told me about Kurt (RIP). And I think from that point onward I think I always realised that music was more than just a something, its a higher power essentially I think.

And it got me thinking about the tunes from my past that instantly make me think about the bond between music and mental health. The first one that jumped right out at me was “Med’s by Placebo”. Now if you know this song the chorus is very blatant almost blunt and its clear to me its probably about schizophrenia, psychosis or bipolar etc. But in it are some beautiful poises, for instance:  “I was confused by the powers that be, forgetting names and faces, passers by were looking at me, as if they could erase it”. Now I didn’t realise, but our Brian Moloko has suffered from depression himself, and he does work to try and help break the stigma around the issue. I mean the song itself does that, but he also does other stuff http://www.nme.com/news/music/placebos-brian-molko-need-break-stigma-around-discussing-mental-health-2146515.

“Numb” by Linkin Park is another one. I obviously never realised when I was a child because I never really used to think about anything because i used to be daft! But its so blatantly obviously an ode to himself about the person depression has forced him to become, Chester Bennington (RIP) that is. An it goes; “I've become so numb, I can't feel you there, become so tired, so much more aware by becoming this all I want to do, is be more like me and be less like you”.  Deep. And when I was listening to this the other day I almost shed a tear, I felt a build up of emotion inside me. Which is a complete double edge sword. On the one hand it was nice, in fact it was more than nice, to be able to feel the emotion. The emotion that someone who helped shaped me in my younger days felt so numb he had to leave this world. But the fact that Chester is gone, is tragic beyond words. Seriously one of the nicest and most amazing singers ever. Mad love.

Now that I am a bit more grown up and urban (lol!) in my musical taste, I love it when I hear songs that are about mental health issues specifically or loosely. For instance “Lovesick by Mura Masa featuring ASAP Rocky” goes:  “Cause I'm sipping Pro, yeah, that meth is pro, Promethazine, yeah, a stepping stone. Oh, they acting up? Get your weapon drawn. They only killing time, another second gone. I heard your man ain't home, now you melatone. But you acting young and you hella grown”. And whilst this song is clearly about his love life (it was originally about his [ASAP Rocky’s] sex life according to Mura Masa https://www.highsnobiety.com/2016/09/30/asap-rocky-mura-masa-lovesick/), it is also clearly about the impact that his love life (or its demise) had on his ability to sleep and therefore his mental well being. The lyrics are actually very clever and subtle to be fair; they say that a love life is clearly something to be desired (i mean who doesn’t want to share their life with some one else?) but that it can also have negative ramifications.  

Stepping towards current (ish! gimme a chance I am currently in the process of updating my music library after my latest wrestle with the black dog!) and more direct songs about mental health we have “Voices by Disclosure featuring Sasha Keable”. I can’t seem to find any information on this one but even if you haven’t heard it (I think you would have been living under a rock or something) its very clear what it is about. I like this one though because it actually names and shames some of the issues that you might experience when you are suffering, for instance: “You bring out the darkest side of me, chased up from a place that I can't reach, I would love to practice what I preach, you bring out the good girl side of me”. Its that whole thing of wanting to be able to do something or change something but you can’t because you are ill.

And I think for me that’s the crux of this article. When you are ill, your life is taken away from you, you loose control of it and you can’t do anything or engage with anything. For me, when I am ill, I stop wanting to listen to music. And that is tragic in my opinion. Because, as I say, music is life. So its indicative and highly illustrative of the main problem that depression causes. Man, I listen to the radio, such as BBC Radio 4 (because I am super middle class ja) instead but I think that is mainly to block out the silence and try block my negative thoughts. I’ve never really questioned why I don’t want to listen to music when I am unwell but now that I have thought about it, I think on a subconscious (controversial word!) level its to do with the fact that music reminds me of when my life was going well. Music is the sound track to every good moment I have had in my life, its the events around which the seminal moments of my life has revolved around (gigs, festivals etc) and it makes you happier when you are happy. But for me, it doesn’t make me better when I am unwell, it just makes me more numb. Which as I say, is tragic and forces me to push it away.

So, on a final note, now that my life is back to where I want it to be, now that I actually have control, I have been rinsing the tunes so to speak. My Spotify Prime (if you don’t have it are you actually a person? lol I joke) library has grown exponentially in the last few months from a piddly few artists to a vast and diverse plethora of current music which I can use to frame and shape the coming moments in my life. I love being into music, they say that the people that show you new music in your life are the important ones. And its so true. That’s why I am a total music fiend and I love being up to date with whats going on the world of music. From Rudimental to Kendrizzy Lemar, from DJ Seinfeld to Four Tet, from Grimes to Aluna George. The more you educate yourself the happier you can make yourself and the people around you! You can meet some amazing people through music as well (idea for an article maybe?! ha lol), it brings people together man. Which is why I have got so many gigs lined up in the coming months. Now when I see a gig I am interested in I try and buy the tickets straight away so I don’t miss out. I get bad FOMO! Coming up gigs wise I have got Knower, Charlie Parr, Lets Eat Grandma and Mansion of Snakes. I am excited about all of these gigs. I am excited to create new moments in my life, I am excited to experience new things, but above all; I am excited to be in control of my life and the things that are entering my ear drums! =)

And its great to be able to say that.

[johnradams]

Special interest time

None of you cowards will send me comet asks so Ill answer them all myself. Under the readmore. I have no shame

do you prefer the off-broadway cast recording or the obcr? OBCR.  Denee Benton rocks my world and she should just marry me already. Nicholas Belton makes me feel things. Josh Groban's technique is superb. favorite natasha Denee Benton hands down. favorite pierre Scott Dave or Josh. You can't make me choose! For Vocals its Josh, for acting skills its Dave. Scott is sort of a heavenly inbetween. I can't choose. favorite principle actor Once again folks its *gasp* DENEE BENTON favorite understudy Scott! favorite ensemble member PEARL RHEIN I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY HEART do you believe natasha lost deserved to be cut? explain why or why not It makes sense that it was cut. It deserved to be cut it makes the music flow better. But if I'm allowed to look at this from a fan standpoint and not a director stand point then PUT IT BACK I WANT TO HEAR MY GIRL SING favorite character Pierre least favorite character Dolokhov character you love to hate Oh hoh hoh there's so many! I'll say Anatole pippa or denee? Its denee can you guess shoba or lauren? Shoba dave or josh? Josh scott or oak? Scott! have you seen it? yes! have you read war and peace? yes! if you could play any character who would you play? Natasha! no one else or sonya alone? Sonya alone is good. No one else is *elle woods voice* so much better charming or in my house? In my house is more fun to sing along to the opera or the ball? The ball the duel or the abduction? the duel pierre (the song) or dust and ashes? Honestly Pierre the song. I love dust and ashes but Pierre? Is so good. Its something so relatable as is dust and ashes but. Even before being hugely into the musical I latched onto that song, and the images the music calls to mind. If you want me to explain what it makes me 'see' I can. favorite song(s) No one else, Pierre, Dust and ashes, The abduction, sunday morning, sonya alone, sonya and natasha, pierre and natasha, pierre and andrey, prologue, letters, the duel, the ball song that you always get lit to the abduction song that makes you cry Dust and ashes or the great comet of 1812 or pierre and natasha are songs when I really get In Character in my own home I cry song you love to sing No one else least favorite song oof. I love them all but I guess charming is at the moment my least favorite since I skip it natasha or pierre? I cant chose! But uh if its like who I want to love me its natasha lol anatole or dolokhov? must I choose. Dolokhov I suppose marya or hélène? helene. Again it really depends what im chosing based on sonya or mary? mary pierre or andrei? andrei is anatole a villain? yeah? he literally is a character whose evil actions are important to the plot. That is the definition of a villian. favorite costume The mermaid witch ‘fOR PETERSBUUUUUURG’ or ‘wHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAH?’ which woah is this act one or act two? OOf act one tony you wish great comet had won I can give DEH best musical because it was so overwhelmingly popular. But Comet deserved best orch. The Dear evan hansen orchestra does not even hold a candle to comets. I don't care what the hell you say, I saw dear evan hansen and not to disrespect the players or anything but they sat and played their instruments. Comets orchestra moves around the entire theatre and dances while they play. Comet ALSO deserved best score and let me tell you why: they integrated several different genres. DEH is another basic pop musical and THAT IS THE TEA. the kuragins, the rostovs, or the bolkonskys? the bolkonskys character you have the biggest crush on NATASHA IS THAT NOT CLEAR I WANT TO KISS HER character you’d want to be friends with Pierre and I would sit and be angsty together character you’d want as a sibling Andrei keep me in line character you’d kill Oh I dont know. funniest character Balaga! favorite quote/line SAYS THE MEAN OLD MAN IN HIS UNDERTHINGS. or when he makes intense eye contact with an audience member until they laugh then he says "people enjoy me though" OTP natasha and pierre OT3 natasha pierre andrei BROTP Sonya and natasha NOTP Balaga and the guy from In the heights everyone ships him with its weird please stop showing it to me ship you don’t hate but don’t really ship uh marlene I guess one thing you miss about comet all of it. I miss knowing that such a diverse show was on broadway (no im not just talking racially diverse) I miss that time pearl rhein replied to my messages with heartfelt response. I miss the stage door and meeting everyone. I miss seing Josh Groban all padded up. I miss seing Natasha so overjoyed in no one else I miss their instagram stories I miss it all ok I miss it so much