#ill keep this pinned until a month from now when i dont think its right anymore

[multiplekittens]

my follower count has more than doubled since I went kafkaesque, so here's some interesting information for the realheads:

-im a transmasc butch lesbian

-this is just a general blog of whatever I find funny or interesting (mostly funny). despite the name I am not particularly cat-based, although they do show up from time to time

-that being said the only tag I regularly use is #cats but not for the reason you think (mutual has a phobia). If we are mutuals and you want me to use a tag for you just let me know and I'll do me best

-i dont do a lot of original joke posts. I do a good one approximately every four and a half months, and since I've only been here since January that means I've done exactly two good original joke posts. Sorry 2 disappoint

-i occasionally post bugs because I think they're neat!

-ive been into star trek since I was itsy bitsy so star trek posts will occasionally show up sometimes. I'm not really a fandom blog in general though

-i like the color green

-the air conditioning is turned on, i have water, and i am listening to my favorite music

[gibbearish]

Hey, I found ur trans quiz thing on uquiz, I think I'm in the right place. Anyway, I'm basically positive that I'm trans, but I don't know if I should come out. If I do, my mom and brother will be disgusted by me, (both Christians) and I'm pretty sure I'd get the same result from my best friend. My real name is Roman, but I put Charlie for my username bc I want to be Charlotte instead. I don't want to bottle up my feelings, but I'm sure they would all judge me. What do you suggest I do? Thx for listening.

hey there! yep you reached the right place:3

this is always a tough one, i was in a pretty similar situation when i was in high school. i know a lot of people will say like "you never know until you try, the people who love you might surprise you!" but personally ive always found that to be somewhat shallow advice. you know the people in your life better than randos ever will, so above anything else i would say to go with your gut here. if it tells you that coming out now wouldnt be safe, then unfortunately i think it probably would be in your best interests to just keep your head down until youre able to set up a life and support system outside of them, so that if things do break bad it doesn't fuck you over.

that being said, that doesn't mean you have to bottle it all up either, nor does that mean all hope is lost for having a relationship with those people afterwards.

first, try to seek out others like you in your life right now. im not sure how old you are but most of the people who've reached out from the quiz have been high schoolers so i'm going off that assumption, if you are in high school i would see if your school has a GSA you could join, or if that wouldnt be a possibility bc ur parents wouldnt let you go then you could try reaching out to the teacher that runs it to see if they have any advice or could help you connect with other queer kids outside of the club. if you can't do that then you may still be able to connect, i know the stereotypes abt people "looking gay" are shit but there are also legitimately queer style choices that people make on purpose because they want to look queer (myself included), and while openly saying "hey you look gay lets be friends" would suck, ill let you on on the secret code to tell queer strangers you recognize their vibes: "omg i love your hair". and obviously randos can give that compliment too but im being 100% serious when i say that if that comment comes from Another Queer and is said in the "im gay too please notice me" way, it hits different, idk how to explain lmao. or "i like your pins" if they have pride stuff. really it's just you pointing out the Thing that made you go "you seem like me," and then complimenting it to show the other person youre cool with that stuff. and obv follow the other persons vibes, if theyre just like "oh thanks" and then turn back around then just move on w ur day, but if theyre like "omg i love your hair too!" then *hacker voice* youre in

anyways on to the second part which is all hope is not lost:

you may not be able to come out to these people now, BUT you may be able to start laying the groundwork to do it further down the line. i'm not saying start religious/political arguments, obv do whatever you need to stay safe, but you can start just. nudging them in the right direction. like say your parents are ranting about something right on the line of anger abt queerness, like a guy wearing eyeliner or w/e, you could drop a noncommital "eh i think it looks cool but i get it" or "i mean its kinda just facepaint when you think abt it tho right?" or another example i cant think of right now to just kind of. push the needle a little bit. and with this kind of thing it's very important you dont go into it expecting immediate change, like. this is you planting the seeds so that in six months when theyre trying to fall asleep theyll be like "....huh. i guess it kinda is just like facepaint, so. why is facepaint ok for men but makeup isnt" yknow? so if you go into it with that being the expectation, the things you say hopefully wont register as confrontational or disagreeing, but just as like. the noncommital hand wiggle gesture. it can take a long time for ideas to take root in people so it makes convos much easier when you remind yourself not to expect immediate change

now obviously your mileage may vary, if you think even that would be too dangerous then absolutely feel free to disregard and just do your best not to let the things they say get to you. and either way remember that you WILL have your own life away from them someday where you get to be yourself, and it is never ever too late to start transition. no matter how long you have to stay with them to set up your own life, it is out there, and one day you will get to a point where whether they cut you off or not, it doesn't matter. you'll get to choose your own clothes, religion, hair style, makeup, house decorations, food, schedule, the world will be your oyster. so when it gets hard, hold on to that. i believe in u 💕

[the-hate-keeps-me-warm]

More than a memory

Sorry if this is formatted really horriblly I finished this up on mobile I hope you like this there’s about 2 paragraphs I cut of ruby nerding out

Once they got to Vacuo oscar was sorta unofficially a huntsman now laws are a lot looser here so he’s been saving quite a bit of money from going on missions after team rwby and Jaune came back it was weird they were only gone a month but so much had changed the merge was almost finished he could feel it every day he felt less like himself he didn’t even object when Theodore called him oz anymore he and ruby weren’t as close anymore whatever happened wherever they were changed her he got bits and pieces from Jaune and yang but the others kept quiet he knew that he’d be gone soon so he wanted to leave something for her kinda like proof that they ever met in the first place so he was now standing in a vacuan market at 12 am alone with a lot of lien on him this was probably a bad idea but at one point he heard ruby ramble about this gun shop that they were the best at what they do so he called made an appointment it just so happens they prefer to see let’s just say unofficial clients at night he knocked at the door it read “bikal bullets” it opened and an old owl faunas man opens it his large yellow eyes are piercing “hello mister pine headmaster theodore told me to expect you” oscar rubs his hands together “yes mister bikal he said to come late” mr Bikal leads him inside on the walls hang dozens of expensive weapons “so mr pine what are you looking for” oscar took the blue prints out of his bag and set them down on the drawing table “um im looking for something custom built its for a friend” mr bikal takes the blue prints and examines them “these are pretty impressive mr pine did you draft these yourself theses yourself” oscar nods “mostly i had a little help with the math part of it but the mechanical stuff i did myself” mr bikal nods “something like this will cost a good amount even with the discount you get for being school staff” oscar nods “do you have an estimate on the price and how long it'll take to make” mr bikal snaps his teeth “around 12000 lien and 2 weeks” oscar nods he had 140000 saved up but he did want to buy some more things for the others “alright i can uh i can afford that” mr bikal goes over to what looks like a drawing table and pins them up “i will start work immediately mr pine you make your payment on completion if you desire the school has credit with me the price includes 3 magazines and a case so that will also be custom made shall you pick it up or would you prefer its delivered” oscar stands uncomfortably as mr bikal starts measuring out pieces of fine metal “ill pick it up dont worry” mr bikal nods and says “alright mister pine your can go now its not a good look for a young man to be out so late especially so close to the red light district” oscars face gets red “yes of course” oscar leaves and walks back to the academy sneaking back into his dorm room was easy tho nora did pester him about where hed been he had left a note saying when he would be back for the next 2 weeks he kept a poker face nora helped him set up his bank account so the sudden spending of 12000 lien did give her pause so she decided to ask him about it

He was sitting on his bed reading some Treatise about some long-forgotten subject she knocked on the bedpost and he looks up “hey Nora did you need something” she sat at the end of his bed “hey what did you spend 12 thousand lien on” he hides his face “please don’t tell anyone it was on something for ruby” she smiles “ah young love I was worried that you wouldn’t make your move so what kind of thing sets you back 12 thousand it’s something big right” he nods his head “its a gun i-i had it commissioned for and it’s not really cause I’m trying to make a move or anything it’s more like a going away gift” Nora frowns and shakes his leg “where you going taking a vacation or something” he feels tears bite the edge of his eyes “Nora the merge it’s soon I know it won’t be long until I’m gone and I want you all to remember me but her especially I don’t want to be just a memory” he struggles to keep the tears at bay but nora pulls him into a hug tighter but somehow softer than her usual ones “hey you will never ever be just a memory you will always be you and even if your not you'll always be one of us we all love you so much” and then the damn breaks and he sobs into her shoulder “i don't wanna go away nora i want to live i wanna go to school see my aunt again” she rubs his back and says “i know sweetie you'll get to do all that ok i promise” he sniffles “nora i need you to do something for me if i do disappear ok i need you to go back to my aunt and tell her everything ok it can't be oz ok don't tell her how to find him it won't make sense i'll just hurt worse i dont want that for her” she nods “i won't ever have to do that ok but i promise” she holds him until he stops crying and they take a a a nap they always helped him calm down

Finally, after a long 2 weeks, he goes to pick it up when he goes inside Mr. Baikal shows him the box it’s a beautiful dark red mahogany wood he opens the case and looks at the pistol inside its silvered handle and barrel were beautiful he’s almost afraid to touch it the engravings were perfect exactly as he had drawn them if not better the moon and rose he had designed look perfect he takes it gently in his hands he looks down the sights the night sights glow a brilliant carmine red he looks at the magazine even it was of an amazing quality everything down to the smallest detail was exactly as he pictured it he sets it back into the case “thank you, mister, Bikal it's absolutely perfect” Mr. Bikal smiles and nods “I’m glad everything is to your satisfaction Mr pine if you find there is anything wrong with it or you want something changed everything I make comes with a lifetime warranty the paperwork is in the case as well as a certificate stating that I am in fact its builder” they shake hands and oscar takes it home in his bag he excitedly gets back to his dorm he sets it down still in his bag on his bed now all he have to do is give it to her

He sits on it for a few days but finally decides to just give it to her oz has his reservations about this but decided that oscar deserves this to maybe say goodbye in his own way

Ruby was going on walks around shade it’s something he noticed so he waited for her to go on one of those walks it was cool in vacuo at night the air was nice compared to the oppressive heat of the day she was meandering along the walkways he followed behind her a bit the case hung heavy in his bag even tho it wasn’t heavy at all after a while she sits at an old wooden bench overlooking the gardens he approaches and she perks up “oh hey oscar are you going somewhere” she says pointing to his bag he shakes his head “do you mind if I sit” she shakes her head “no go-ahead did you need to talk, something about Theodore?” he sits down on the other side of the bench gently setting his bag between them “no uh no I just uh I wanted to give you something” he opens his bag and takes the case out holding it out to her she takes it “it’s not my birthday is it this looks really nice you didn't have to do this” ruby says smiling “well i've been wanting to do something nice for you” oscar says rubbing the back of his neck she lifts the top and gasp gently lifting it from its case “oscar this is this is amazing” she drops the magazine and pulls the slide back making sure its clear and runs her hand along the engraving her symbol etched into the left side of the grip “oh thanks i uh actually designed it myself oz helped me with the math” she looks at him her eyes wide “oscar it took me 8 attempts to successfully design a functioning crescent rose gun design is really hard how long did you spend on this” oscar blushes “the idea kinda started in atlas i was gonna ask you to help me make one so i wouldn't have to rely on my cane but everything happen and when you were gone i kept messing with the idea and i kept thinking about you so i kinda ended up designing it for you more than me eventually do you like it” ruby scoffs “oscar do i like it i love it its probably the single greatest gift anyones ever given me” he smiles wide “really that makes me really happy I was worried you wouldn’t like it” she sets it back gently into its case “really Oscar it’s amazing you have a knack for design your gonna have to show me the draft notes and everything cause this is this is amazing I can’t wait to shoot it this is wow” she chokes up and he leans down “ruby are you ok” she nods wiping her face of nonexistent tears “no worries this is just really cool and sweet and god your so amazing” he felt his heart flutter and his cheeks heat up “the guy who built it that bikal guy you talked about was just as great as you always said” she puts a hand on his shoulder “are you telling me Hephaestus bikal made this Oscar” she says seriously “uh yeah why is that bad” she kisses his cheek and squeals “oh my god your amazing this is now even better god I could die happy wait his rates are insane how did you afford this” still recoiling from the kiss he bites his lip “uh huntsmen work” she narrows her eyes “how much did this cost Oscar it had to be expensive” he shakes his head “not telling it’s a gift you don’t need to worry about it just enjoy it” she punches his arm “I will but I am going to repay you for this somehow ok” “you already did” he says quietly he says rubbing the back of his neck “ruby I don’t really know how long I have left and I would like to spend at least some of it with you I understand if you don’t I know it might make it harder when I’m gone bu-whoa” he’s pulled into a hug she pulls his head into her shoulder and holds him tight “I wanna spend more time with you too but you will always be Oscar ok oz is oz you are you” he sighs and smiles “see what I mean by paying me back”

[tpwksammy]

Niall Horan one shot

It's been a month since I've seen anyone. A whole month has passed since the boys have left for a new mission. I miss them more than explainable but my body misses them more. The way its always pulsated so hard I have to clench my thighs around everyone.

It's been a month of no sex and attention and im running mad. There's only so much you can do for yourself until it just doesn't feel the same.

I miss their voices whispering dirty things in my ear and the heaving breaths of their deep moans.

Laying on my bed looking at the ceiling my chest begins to heave up and down. Closing my eyes all I can think about is Niall. The way he would play poker and press his hands to my skin when no one was watching. When I would slip away to go to the washroom and he would pick the lock to pin me against the wall fucking me senseless.

"Oh god." I clench my thighs together as my centre pounds against me.

I can't do this anymore. I can't do this by myself. I'm going insane. Pressing my hands to my thighs squeezing my skin for dear life I think about his tongue and all the profanities he would spell on my clit.

How he would watch me in the shadows following my every move so hung up on me. Arching my back whimpering I bring my hand up to rest over my chest palming my braless area. Shifting my thighs over each other I create a friction that is no help at all.

A month since I've felt a dick inside of me pounding until I saw the stars. I missed him and the way he knew my body inside out. His length hit places I didn't even know could reach.

His body hunched over mine speaking awful things to me as my climax built. When we were playing around with each other and he fucked me twenty times pulling out each time before I met my high. It was pure torture but when he finally let me cum I was brought into another dimension. I couldn't breathe or move as my orgasm ripped right through me.

Shifting my hips up on the bed I look around my darkroom that used to be filled with so much heat and lust.

"Fuck I can't do this anymore." I cry out weakly into the pitch-black room. Palming my breasts under my shirt I reach over the bed crawling to the dresser. Wrapping my hands around my phone I breathe so heavy it fogs up the screen.

Hitting my password in my phone the screen shines brightly and I press the call button as I clench my thighs so tight I swear it's only turning me on more.

Clicking his name I press the phone to my ear and squeeze my eyes as it rings. "Please pick up," I whine and suddenly the ringing stops and a deep voice calls over the loud voices of a party.

"Sugar you alright-"

"Niall." I moan into the phone interrupting his happy tone. Panting I sense his back straighten.

"Violet what are you doing?" He calls deeply and I sense the hunger in his voice. I know it's been long for him too. He only knows my body and can't stand the way he feels with other girls. He texts me all the time while he's getting off.

Whether he's in the shower with the water blasting down or in the back room at the Casino until his hard breaths shout into the phone.

"Niall I-" I pant out hardy and whimper, pressing my thighs together. "I need you."

"Violet where are you right now?" He demands in a hard tone that has my back arching.

"Im laying in your bed trying to get myself off." Crying out through the empty house he growls through the phone before I hear him push through the crowd.

"Fuck Violet dont do anything until I tell you to." With my hands pressed right to my underwear I drag it upwards and my tights snap back in place.

"You have one minute," I beg squirming my legs together.

"Touch yourself before I tell you and Ill fuck that little cunt of yours so hard against the door you'll be begging for me to stop."

"Fuck." I curse grabbing the pillow I'm laying on and pressing in between my legs for more pressure. Grinding my hips against the soft material I slap my hand against my mouth screaming from the pressure against my centre.

"Jesus christ Violet." A chant of grunts leaves his lips until I hear a car door slam shut. Listening to his firm body hit the leather seats of his car another grunt passes as he undoes his heavy belt buckle that clicks aggressively.

"Hey Sugar?" Niall's chest heaves as I choke down my cries. "What are you wearing?"

Squeezing the top of the pillow I swallow down moans, "Just my tights and one of your shirts."

He hums into the phone seductively. "Wish I could see that perfect little ass for myself but you're just going to have to moan louder for me. Take off your clothes."

"Okay." I pant at his weakness. Taking the phone from my ear I turn it on speaker and place it beside my body.

Peeling the pillow away from my body might have been the hardest thing I've ever done. The pounding comes right back to my centre and I let out a whine.

"Sugar if you start crying like that I'm going to have to punish you when I get home. Clothes off. now." demanding I press my hands to my tights and peel it quickly off my body. The coldness of the room sticks to my skin in relief and I swallow down my moans. Taking off his shirt my bare chest is exposed to the room and my large breasts spill out into my warm hands.

Keeping my wet underwear on I crawl back down to the bed laying down. "What about you, what do you have on?"

"My dicks out right in my hand baby. All the naughty little things you do to me has me so hard for you."

Arching my back he continues breathlessly. "What colour panties you have on naughty girl."

"R-red. Just like the time you fucked me with your fingers under the casino table." I barely can get the words out.

"Fuck." Through the phone, his breaths go staggered and a loud moan cuts his words when he starts pumping himself. "Take them off for me and tell me just how wet you are."

Pressing my hands to my red lace underwear I slide it down my body and kick it to the floor. Dragging my hands up the inside of my thigh I press it to my slick folds. Drawing upwards my pool of wetness coats my fingers. Pressing my finger to my clit my hips shift upwards in shock from the cry it's been giving me.

"Oh Niall wish you were here I need you to fuck me so bad I can't take it anymore." Rubbing my clit in circles, my naked body grows in an intense fire.

"Are you touching yourself?" his voice goes delicate and I sense the crookedness of his face as he pumps his shaft.

"Y-yes."

"Just like I showed you?"

Pressing my fingers hard to my clit in a circle my wetness coats my fingers as a slick lube increasing my speed.

"Violet, you need to use your words, are you doing it as I showed you?"

"Yes, baby. In circles like you said. Wish it was you though I can't take this anymore." Whining into the phone I shift my hips into my hands.

"Fuck Violet dont say things like that when im halfway across the country. Give me a week and Ill come back and fuck you like the little whore you are."

Rubbing my clit side to side my hips buckle down to the bed and dig into the soft sheet. "Touch your chest. Squeeze them hard just like I always do."

Slapping my hand to my chest my other works against my nerves as I massage my breast deeply. Flicking my nipple electricity runs through my veins and punches me right in my lower stomach.

"This is going to be quick Niall I'm almost there."

Both of our loud moans fill each other's senses which only makes my hands work faster. "No," he grunts. "Whores like you don't get to finish early, you cum when I tell you to."

Sliding my hand down to my core I squeeze my leg bunching my hips. With my hips in the air my finger moves at an increasing pace. Rubbing my clit fast, the cold air hits my body as I moan.

Grinding my centre into my hands I throw my body back down to the bed.

"Be a good girl and push two fingers in for me."

Niall moans hardly into the phone as his precum lubes his length causing pressuring slick sounds to fill the phone.

"Okay baby." Sliding my hands down my folds I tease my centre which shoots a riveting pain through my body. Sliding my two fingers in I slowly feel myself clenching and expanding for them feeling my walls shut around me.

"Oh ah- fuck feels so good." Sliding deeper until my knuckles hit I need more but this will have to do. Beginning to pump the sounds of my wetness pool around my fingers. With each thrust, my stomach grows and I'm beginning to work up to my release.

"Good girl. Always so good for me. Now with your other hand press it to your clit and don't stop."

My other hand slides up my thighs until met with my hip bone. Sliding over my bare skin goosebumps trickle down until I'm met with my nerves. Pressing deep I scream an ache through the room that causes my hips to bunch.

Rubbing my clit side to side quickly in need, my thrusting fingers shoot electricity through my body and I moan loudly from the help of the empty house now that they're all gone.

"I know that moan dont cum, not yet." I can hear him fuck his hand more demanding and my hips continue to bunch down thrusting into myself.

"No no I need more," I beg, shutting my eyes.

"Add another finger. Feel yourself just like my cock does. That pretty little cunt needs it bad doesn't it?"

"Really really bad." sliding in a third finger my walls clench hard around me deepening the pressure on my centre. Thrusting my hands at a vicious pace as well on my clit my body tightens signalling it can't hold on any longer when I hit my g spot.

"Niall I cant, fuck I need to cum." Moaning loudly my body arches and my head tilt to the ceiling in a scream.

"Beg for it you little slut. Tell me just how much you need it."' he mumbles tightly and I move my hips with my fingers.

"Please. Please, please let me cum, Niall. You're the only person that could ever get me over the edge like this please I'll do anything." Crying into the phone my legs start to shake causing the pressure on my centre to double.

"Fuck Violet you dont know what that just did to me ah-" he moans harshly pumping his shaft ruthlessly. In the next twenty seconds, I listen to his hard moans and thrusting hand fucking himself until the breathlessness of his chest rasps out a cry.

"Oh fuck fuck fuck. Violet baby?"

My body squirms on the sheets making a complete mess as my legs lift. I open them widely, earning a new angle that I explore with a cry. My knees press to my chest as my fingers work over my nerves and centre. My walls completely clench around my fingers and my hand begins to pound right and left on my clit.

"Yeah im right here- fuck." My legs lift higher so I can completely thrust my body into myself.

"Cum for me baby let it go."

Those words take me over the edge and my orgasm shoots through my body covering my hands. Removing my fingers from my centre I work against my nerves ruthlessly riding me out. "Oh Niall" my body arches off the bed. Sitting up in reflex my fingers press into my clit.

"Oh, ah."

"Oh, Violet fuck fuck fuck fuck." He groans.

"god- ah." grunting deeply his moans only press my body deeper as I coat his sheets. My eyes go fuzzy and I shut them, continuing to ride my sensitive core.

"Niall!" I scream at the top of my lungs and my breaths come out at a zero rhythm. Removing my hands I press them to the sheets gripping on for dear life.

"Fuck Suar." with one last grunt from his voice I hear him fall against the seat of his car breathing hard.

When the world comes down I fall onto my back surrounded by the warmth of his bed that never fails to smell like him. Panting out hard breaths trying to present myself back into reality my body unravels. Pressing my hands to my chest I feel my rapid heartbeat.

"You alright over there?" Niall rasps onto the phone and I whimper from his deep voice that I miss so much.

"Just give me a minute."

Niall chuckles over the phone and I smile drunkenly.

"Oh god, I miss you. Wish I could see that perfect naked body of yours cum all over my fingers soaking me."

Suddenly my body tightens once again from his words and I gasp from a sudden twitch in my centre.

"Violet? You alright what was that?"

My body ravels upright again and I press my full palm against my centre cupping myself hardly trying to calm down. "Niall I don't know what happening." My centres too weak for me to pound it like that again.

A new ring on my phone shows and It's a facetime from Niall. Still cupping myself I reach over the bed and answer it. Once I spot his sweaty face on the screen he eyes me cautiously. My face is the only thing he sees but sweat and redness take over my frame. "Violet?" he coos with a wide-lipped grin.

"How much do you miss me?" gripping my centre just a little bit harder in a spasm my body shoots upwards until I'm on my knees.

"I cant Niall." I cry to him on the phone and his face drops.

"Put me on the dresser let me see you." breathing out a large exhale I lean forward setting the phone right against the lamp. Once he sees my body his face grows in ecstasy as his eyes roam all over.

"So fucking beautiful."

As I pull away I watch as his hand tightens and presses to his shaft once more.

"You  still sensitive baby?" His blonde hair sticks to his forehead and I moan from the sight. "Yes, I can't touch myself like that again tonight."

Watching his face turn up in a twitch he begins to moan again. "The pillow. Ride the pillow, pretend it's me."

Wasting no time I reach for the pillow and set it between my thighs. "Yeah just like that." he raps and I shut my eyes once I find the perfect spot. Beginning to grind my hips I press my hands to my chest squeezing both of my breasts as I moan out a loud exhale.

"I- ah." Opening my eyes slightly I watch Nialls rock solid face staring at me in determination.

"Don't stop, keep going."

my arms fall weakly off my chest and press to the top of the pillow in need to grab onto something.

"Jesus" I moan from how good this feels. My centre soaks through the fabric of the pillowcase. I'm so sensitive to the point it feels good.

With my foot pressed to the back of the pillow, I shift my legs upward and the back of the pillow presses deep into me at a new angle. Falling forward in a loud inhale my hands land on the bed on all fours.

My breaths hang down but I fold my body upwards rocking into the pillow like a race. Moving my hips with the fabric my stomach builds in the same pressure as before.

"Fuck baby I just wanna fuck you so bad. You're soaking up my sheets messy girl. Make a mess for me and scream my name alright? That perfect little cunt of yours always so pretty for me."

"Yes- oh fuck." I exhale leaning my head up to the ceiling. "Moan my name too It gets me off."

A loud grunt sounds from his lips signalling he's going faster. "Never last long with you. Wish I was that pillow fucking you from below."

I wish you were here because this pressure is not enough. "I need you to thrust into me from behind and make me limp. I need you to make me scream from how big you are. Only you can do that to me. I need you to ruin me." bunching my hips upwards my legs begin to shake and I thrust my hips on the edge of the pillow crying out.

"Trust me when I get my hands on you you'll wish you were dead. I wanna taste you. I miss waking you up in the morning." squeezing my hands on the pillow my fingernails break the fabric and with one last thrust my foot pushes the pillow into my clit and my body explodes.

"Niall!" I scream his name through my raspy throat as my hips move at the fastest pace on the pillow. "Fuck fuck fuck oh god." my orgasm rips through me and coats the pillow.

As soon as my loud moans fill his car his release shoots out of him matching with mine.

"Oh, violet!" He groans loudly and my chest heaves from his words.

Fuck me.

Looking up to the ceiling my centre pounds from what she's gone through and I fall to my side in complete exhaustion.

The room spins and I go deaf as a small buzzing rings in my ears. Curled up on the bed gripping my breasts in support Niall's chuckles break through my senses bringing me back to reality.

"I'm pretty sure hundreds of people just heard me moan beyond this door." Turning my weak stare to the phone his eyes are dilated fully watching me in lust. Reaching for the electronic I grip it tiredly bringing it to my line of vision and he frowns.

"Put me back, I wanna see our body."

"Come home then." I rasp weakly and he smirks. "We're almost done out here. Give it another two weeks. Now let me see whats mine."

Turning the camera around I push the phone to my cunt letting him the mess he's made. Trailing the camera up my body I fondle my breasts teasing my nipple.

"Fuck Sugar." Watching Nialls face on the screen he's about to touch himself when I flip the camera like nothing happened.

Growling my lips purse in a frown. "That's too long. I miss your hugs and dick."

"Is that all I am to you?" laughter fills the call and I catch my breath.

"Gonna tilt the phone for me princess? One last look. Wanna see you touching your clit." leaning his head back hoping to see from a new angle I brush my sweaty hair away from my face.

"Next time. When I see you next I'll make sure to touch every inch of me as you watch... In fact, next time I want a full view of you too." turning on my side I watch the phone with my head on my arm.

"That's cruel. I'm going to have to go back in there wondering what it was like up close. Im dying out here."

"Then come back and make me. Fuck me and dont holdback. Do whatever you want to me. Make it last all night if you want just don't ever stop." when I moan out the words his face twitches and before he can part his lips I hang up the call.

[ivyuns]

landing in my heart: secret

han jisung

genre: angst 

word count: 2.6k

warnings: lost in north korea, violence, mentions of chopping a head off, military stuff, mentions of car accidents, weapons, mentions of ending life and disorders (at the end), grammer mistakes, if i missed anything, lmk :)

part two of landing in my heart

landing in my heart information

2001

“y/n, choose your future!”

from that day, you always made the right choices. looking in front of you, you saw items which predicted your future by grabbing an item. instead of an item, you grabbed your fathers hand.

till that day on, you successfully opened your own fashion store. cutting the ribbon for your grand opening.

now that you heard jisung telling you to take the right path, you went to the other way. the night when jisung pulled you and hid you in his chest, you looked up in shock.

“oh my. i cant believe we met again”

“i thought you left”

you start flirting with jisung to get your way with him. smiling while jisung stares at you. ‘should i just kill her’ jisung thinks.

the following morning, you wake up and see yourself in the mirror. face full of marks and cuts. grabbing a cup of water and pour it into the bucket, you clean your face. “its okay, you’ll get through this yoon y/n”

as youre telling yourself to calm down in the bathroom, jisung makes you breakfast. “i-i dont know what you guys do but we usually give the host the first bite” you said, giving jisung a spoonful of the food, he stares at you.

“what wrong?” you asked. jisung sighs and crosses his arms. “are you concerned of whats in the food? because its poisonous?” putting the spoon back onto the food, you gave you. “im sorry if i offended you. but please do understand why im acting like this. wouldnt it be ridiculous for me to be trusting someone at this point?”

“hm, i guess youre right” lifting you head, you smiled. “see! i was correct-” “but you made an emergency landing at the DMZ while flying an unpowered aircraft on a windy day. right as the electric wires were working, you crossed it and came to a military housing area. ill sound crazy to believe someone like you”

“dont tell me youre suspecting me, thinking im a - spy. in fact i believe people are looking for me considered im famous down there” you paused, “one everyone knows im here, the south korean government, military authorites, and the UN wont stay still” jisung nods his head in agreement. “then, nobody should know youre here. i wont tell them”

jisung stands up and gathers your plate. hearing a knock, you look at jisung as he goes and looks who is here.

looking outside the gate, he sees hyunjin outside. “ah, captain han. i didnt know you went home early so i looked everywhere for you. so i knew you were home when i saw smoke from the chimney” hyunjin says and goes inside jisungs house without permission.

“oh and good news. about that south korean girl-” “listen she’s” “shes dead!” hyunjin laughs. “i know youre shocked too because i am too! there was an accident on the mountain and reporters said there was a young woman there” jisung shakes his head, “no thats not it hyung-” “aye, if im wrong then you can chop off my head” jisung nods his head and leads hyunjin back to the gate “wait let me use the bathroom real quick”

as both of the boys went to the entry way of the house, hyunjin takes off his shoes and talks about you. as he takes his shoes off, you went to lean on the door frame. hyunjin turns around and gets scared of seeing to woman he was talking about.

“how do you chop someone’s head off? ive never done it before” you spoke. with hyunjin’s mind going everywhere, he manages to speak to jisung. “c-captain han, whats going on here?” after realization, you realized he was the one who tried to shoot you. “y-you. it was you! you shoot the bullet at me!”

settling down, jisung rubs his temples as you tried to explain hyunjin that youre not a spy. “do you have trouble understanding or something?” “captain, do you have a shovel i can borrow?” you explain everything that had happened when you ran away, hyunjin gets scared and sits next to jisung.

moments later, another knock comes from jisung’s gates. opening the gate, he sees seungmin, felix and jeongin with food and drinks. “captain han! did you hear the news? the one with the young lady-” “thats not true” jisung cuts off felix.

“you must be jeongin” you called out. jeongin turns around and sees you. “yes, and who are you?” crossing your arms and leaning on the door frame, “i heard you might face a dishonored discharge. that means youll lose the job that you really need” you told him with a scared hyunjin next to you. “i-i thought she died!” jeongin screams and turns to the other two men next to him.

“and ah! youre felix! so tell me, which kdramas did you watch before leaving the post?” you pointed your finger at him. “stairway to heaven” felix answers. “ah thats a pretty old one. its the one with jiwoo and sangwoo right? im close to them, they live a few houses away from me” “is that true?!” felix smiles as seungmin tells him to stop.

telling everybody to come inside to talk, you demand them to take you back where you first landed in north korea. “im afraid we cant do that” jisung answers. “captain han, just let her be. let her get fried in the fences and say ‘so this is how the fences feels like’ if she’ll ever learn” hyunjin laughs out. giving a death glare at him, he stops laughing and puts on a straight face.

“basically, we cant go back to the post because we finished our job for two months and cant return there for a few months” jisung continues. “but you have a choice; i take you to the state security department. they may let you go home. or you stay here but heres a few rules. one, dont talk to us. and two, dont leave the house until we get you back home” jisung finishes. “my dad does a boat-to-boat. where a small boat goes to the international oceans and meets up with the bigger boats to another country” felix tells you.

nodding your head and agreeing with the second choice, the boys goes and makes you food since you were begging them to give you meat. after the food is done, you all eat as jisung steps back. “we must return to our post after this” jisung speaks out. “what? so i have to be alone now?” you exclaimed. “yah, do you just expect captain han to just stay here with you?” hyunjin jokes. “if you need anything thats urgent, press 8 on the cell phone and ill answer it in the outerpost”

instead of calling him for emergencies, you only called him, asking silly stuff. asking wheres the body wash, shampoo, and conditioner and wheres the candles, he responds with the bar of soap. you then call him how to take a bath since theres no modern showers inside his house. “you need to fill up the bucket with hot water. then take the tarp and hang it up with the clothes pin above the bucket. make sure to tuck the tarp under the bucket so theres no airflow. youll have your shower after that”

doing what jisung told you, you were surprised on how they lived. finally finishing, you went in the bucket after taking your clothes off. “ah this feels nice”

jisung, who was still in the office, got another phone call. “what is it now- ah master sergeant, whats the matter?” jisung answers to the sergeant. “its about the tomb raiders. they were killed in an accident on the mountain” jisung quickly hangs up and goes to the security state department and tell cheolgang.

he shows his military id to enter the place before the other military men opens the gate for jisung. as he goes to the room that cheolgang is in, he tells him what happened. “yes, i know what happen. but what can we do” cheolgang asks. “i believe there needs to be an investigation. what car did they crash into? was it on accident or on purpose? if it was on purpose, who was behind this? and why accidents like this keeps happening. so im asking if i can look into it” jisung says. cheolgang nods his head “go ahead. you should go to the headquaters in pyongyang tomorrow morning and get more information” he answers. jisung gets up and leaves.

the senior coloniel, who was next to cheolgang the whole time, asks cheolgang whats going to happen now. “dont worry about it, we hired somebody since hes responsible for a billion won scheme”

china.

minseok and his bodyguard enters the hotel where theyre supposed to meet someone. after finding the person, they talk about how minseok should be safe in north korea after passing through the other countries without being caught by sehyeong. minseok signs the contact and goes to his new home in north korea with extra protection.

back in north korea in the village, the kids were playing outside as you were still hidden in jisungs place. the mothers came out and gather their kids since it was dark and late and was now time for dinner. however, upil didnt leave until his dad showed up.

as manbok calls his son’s name, upil goes and hugs him and enters their house with upil’s favorite donut.

meanwhile in jisung’s house, you finished your bath and the lights go out. “whats going on? havent i had enough suprises today?”

the whole village had a blackout and you were scared. making your way to the telephone, you called jisung. only to be declined. you were hearing noises and you felt like you were going to be caught soon. closing the blinds, the noises were getting clearer.

grabbing the nearest item to hit the intruder, you were stopped as you saw jisungs face. tears threatened to spilled as your emotions came down are you. “why are you here” you said, lowering the item. “you said you needed a candle” jisung grabs the candle from the bag and gives it to you. “you said you needed it when you took a bath and when you sleep” “thats just a candle. i need a scented one” more tears spilled and jisung takes the item out of your hand.

“im sorry, you probably feel frustrated right now. but i just cant believe what im going through right now” sobs left your mouth as jisung guilty.

ranting to jisung about your problems back in south korea, you couldnt help but spill more tears. feeling frustrated at yourself back then, you felt bad for jisung since you were just crying in front of him. jisung puts his finger on the flame of the candle that was on. “there, i cant see you anymore” jisung reassures you that everything will be okay soon. he gets up and grabs his hat. “where are you going?” “i need to get on a train in the morning to pyongyang” he answers

“i dont know when ill be back so i might not see you when you leave. but my comrades will help you get on the boat in a few days. heres some things i bought that you needed” jisung says and hands you a bag and leaves the house. you open the door before he could leave.

“excuse me, but what is your name? i want to remember it to return the favor later” “you dont have to, there was no favor in the beginning. so its better to not remember it. and as i said before, dont tell anyone about this when you go back” nodding your head, jisung leaves the place.

going back inside, you open the bag and its full of the stuff you asked for earlier. looking at every product, you realize its from south korea. everything that you needed was in the bag, including undergarments and medicine for your cut.

jisung arrives pyongyang. hes then stopped for an investigation. jisung is led to a torture room to be questioned about the robbers. myeongseok enters the room and sees jisung being yelled at throught the glass window. he barges into the room and kicks the person who was asking jisung questions and aggravating him. “what are you doing? this is the directors son” myeongseok yells at the person, who is shocked.

myeogseok apolgizes to jisung and leads him somewhere to let jisung tell him what he needs to know.

the person who was just yelled at calls cheolgang and tells him that jisung is the directors son of general politics and gets angry.

later the night, jisung and myeongseok are talking about how jisung was to investigate into the car accident recently. “do you perhaps think this accidents was like your brothers?” jisung thinks to what myeongseok ask, and realizes the accident could be like his brothers. the same truck that ran into his brothers car and the others that the trucks ran into.

after company five visited you, they came back to the military zone to get some rest. they happened to see cheolgang leaving the place and quickly straightens up and salutes him. “fifth company, where are you guys coming from?” cheolgang asks. “from fixing the pump in out captains house sir” hyunjin replies. “ hes in pyongyang so good job”

“yes sir. may i ask where youre heading sir” seungmin asks. “lately were have lots of runaways so im going to run random house inspections today” “tonight sir?” hyunjin asks. cheolgang nods and felix starts hiccuping. “whats wrong with him?” “nothing sir. we missed what was in front of us, therefore the runaways must be in the military base. i believe that is a wise plan sir” hyunjin responds quickly. cheolgang nods and tells them to hurry inside and get some sleep.

they quickly go inside and hyunjin calls jisung as seungmin makes sure nobody is coming inside the room theyre in. “captain han, theyre doing random house inspections tonight. but we told the south korean woman not to answer any phone calls. so theyres no way to tell her” hyunjin tells jisung. jisung then hangs up and asks myeongseok for a favor.

jisung quickly drives back to the village as cheolgang arrives in front of jisungs house since is was the next house on the list. seeing the lights on, he doesnt believe that jisung is back from pyongyang.

looking through jisungs stuff, you look into a book that seems familiar. opening the book, you see an application form. “i swear i saw this face before” you were disturbed by your thoughts when you heard knocking. “captain han jisung! were here for house inspecting!” putting everything away, you hid in jisungs kimchi cellar, which was underground. cheolgang unlocks the gate and finds jisung as he sees the cellar’s blanket off of the door.

opening the door, the investigators finds you and clucks their guns. as youre forced to get off of jisungs property, everyones asking you questions as your hands are up in defense and silent. “it doesnt matter. once shes at the state security department, these muted people will talk” cheolgang says.

as a bright light flashes through, everyone stops and looks at the car in front of them. jisung stops the car and gets out to walk towards you and cheolgang. cheolgang suddenly aims his gun at you as tears fell.

“what are you doing to my fiancee?”

“what did you just say?”

“i would appreciate if you put the gun away from my fiancee”

additional ending:

location: switzerland

“its invalidation in our institute regulations, im sorry” the woman tells you after your request. “but why? i heard i can end my life here sure i have no physical pain, but i feel extraordinary pain in my mind. depression, panic disorder, eating disorder, insomnia, what all do i have to name? ” you questioned.

“we always recommend the sight seeing of switzerland to our visitors. most of our visitors change their minds after sight seeing. i dont know why you want to end it, but im sure youll be one of them”

after doing what the woman had told you, you went to visit a place where you can paraglide. amazed at how amazing paragliding looked, a guy stopped right next to you, admiring the view with you.

[wavbleu]

Rodrick heffley: Keep quiet

tw: possession and degrading

~~~~~~~~~

"I cant believe she would do that to you!" you say with a short giggle, you look at Rodricks adorable face and my smile grew bigger knowing that the only time hes genuinely happy and laughing is around you. "I was so totally shocked when she bit me, my dick hurt for like the following week." He stroked his fingers through his semi-short hair and continued on his painful story on how he lost his virginity.

You and Rodrick have been talking for 2 and a half months now, you and him have an extreme connection despite the fact that you are totally opposite. You like to wear softer colored clothes and get good grades in school, and Rodrick well... doesn't. He doesn't give a shit what people think or say about him and just goes the way he wants to, Thats what you've always adored him, you were jealous of that.

Sometimes  you question how your friends with a guy as corrupted as him.

But when ever you converse the words just spill out of you, it actually feels like hes engaged and actually willing to hear more and learn about you. You've never experienced anything like that before. Speaking that most of your exes just used you for sex.

Whenever your around Rodrick, you feel like yourself. What ever you are scared to be in front of everyone else you show it to him and he strangely accepts it. Obviously, you would even consider him your best friend or 'pal' But lately ... the way he touches you isnt very 'pal-like' . Although it may seem like something small, he would massage your knee and work his way down your smooth thigh, stopping right before he reaches your inner thigh; slowly massaging that area and leaves you wanting more of him.

It could be when your hugging and he lowers his hands from your waist to your hips.. Stuff like that may not seem large but it speaks louder and clear that theres sexual tension in the air.

Rodrick finished up his tragic v card story and you both giggled, Rodrick then abruptly stopped laughing and his once loud laugh turned into a snarky smile. "What's with the smirk." you say smiling nervously not knowing what he will do.

"Are you a virgin?" He says, "Nah." You respond back to him. "Ive only had sex with 2 people though."

Yea you weren't a virgin (at all) but man when you had sex it was just beyond awful, terrible. Butterflies grew in your stomach as you watched him bite his cheek in amazement.

"Wow, Little miss Y/N getting freaky in the sheets." he teased, you droopily looked down at your swinging feet hanging off your bed and sighed before admitting, "Well it wasn't exactly good.. if fact it was absolutely dreadful." , "Well i wanna hear this to see if its just as bad as mines."

You adjusted yourself to lean against the white headboard, looking at Rodrick who was seated at the end of the bed. You wrapped your arms around your pillow and started reminiscing on how you lost your virginity at the ripe old age of 17.

"Well it was a party that was at some random guys house.. gee I dont even remember his name... I think it was like tony or something like that.","We were in this small group with other people in our grade, we were bored so we decided to play 7 minutes in heaven.." , "and it was my turn to spin the bottle, sadly."...

flashback

~~~~~

(skip if you dont like the extra length.)

You anxiously spun the bottle, hoping that it would stop on your crush, Luke Hannington.  The bottle spun and everyone watched in awe.

You felt your heart drop to your stomach as the bottle started to decelerate and fixate on a person.. tense but hopeful , you look up at the person the bottle focused on.

Luke.

You tried to hold back your sheer excitement and joyfulness, but it quickly came to a halt after seeing your crushes nonchalant, monotone, bored face. 'He was probably hoping for someone hotter' you think yourself pathetically.

Everyone sneakily snickered and whispered in each others ears after seeing his disappointed face and disgusted eyes.

You felt like bursting into tears after feeling the way you did. You felt hideous.

"So ill set the timer, the closet is on your left sweetie."  The host said, obviously trying to hold back her sneaky remarks until you get in the closet.

He quickly gets up and speed walks to the closet, you followed, fondling your fingers and biting the skin off your lip.

You got to the closet, atleast he was sweet enough to hold the door open for you.

You sat down on the carpeted floor, hassling all the jackets and coats off of you. Luke frantically searched for the light so we can actually see in this closet and took a seat after.

He closed the door and minutes later you heard it lock from the otherside, "Begin, lovebirds!"

The only thing that began was the pure awkwardness and his uncomfortable glances. "So um.." You tried to start a convo but failed at it miserably, nothing you were doing was working, he would always give this stupid uncomfy look or mess with his collar. You were milliseconds away from kicking the door down and leaving this stupid party.

"Im sorry." he said noticing your frustration, "I dont think your ugly or anything.", "Ive had sex before, but not with strangers."

Stranger. Neat.

Tension arosed in the closet after he asked out of no where, "Have you ever been fingered before?" ,"I think im a pro if i say so myself."

You nodded your head no, "Im a virgin..","Ive always wanted to though.." You tried to say seductively hoping to make him hard.  "Open your legs." He sternly demanded, you obeyed and did just that.

He pulled off your cotton panties and felt you up and down, then awkwardly slid a finger in. You gasp surprised, hoping he would've given more foreplay. "Um.." You moan as he fingered you in an accelerating pace , rubbing your left lip thinking it was your clit.

You felt second hand embarrassment for him, Luke Hannington doesn't know where the clitoris is?

You were drying out and getting turned off by his loud grunts and heavy breathing, actually thinking he was doing something. "Somebody lied to this man.." You said in your head. "No way do i actually have to fake an orgasm for this psychopath to stop."

You prepped yourself and tried replicate the girls off of pornhub, "Oh yes!" you moaned as you shook your legs frantically, a smile grew upon his face as he went faster. "Im gonna-" You dramatically puff your chest up faking an intense orgasm.

He stopped and swiped the sweat off of his forehead, "Good right?" , "Great, i bet you i wont  even be able walk straight!" You moan, you cheesily snapped your fingers and giving him finger guns to throw him off your awful acting.  The timers alarm rung, "Finally." You thought to yourself.

You stood up and walked out of the closet just fine.

You got back to the group who were snickering and giggling like a bunch of pre-schoolers.

~~~~

end of flashback

"Bad but not as bad as mines." He chuckled competitively, "Whatever." You threw a pillow at him. "Ive been cursed with the spell "awful sex." ever since that night." You dramatically say, "Is that so?" , "No guy has been capable of making you cum.. making you scream?" His voice lowered, looking into your eyes with a hot confused look.

"Yea pretty much." You sneakily adjust your skirt so he can see your soft thighs and a sliver of your panties. The room went silent as he looked you up and down, examining your body and its crevices , he licked his lips struggling to control the urge to squish and carress your thighs. He quickly looked down hoping you didnt notice how long he was staring at your body, so hungrily.

"Hey um.. y/n" He said scooting closer to you.

Your breath became heavy and palms began to sweat as you watched him scoot in closer.

"Have you been feeling it too?" his soft deep voice lowering into a erotic whispering tone. "F-feeling what?" You stumble trying to think straight, his eyes were fixated on your lips, he wanted them badly.

"You know.." "The tension?" He slowly rubs your thigh with his huge hands, maneuvering them up your skirt but stopping right before he hit, you know what. You hated that. You nod slowly to his question.

"You told me you never came before?" He questioned, "No.. never." You responded back. He put a stray hair behind your ear, then smoothly rubbed his thumb over your bottom lip.

"Can i be your first?"

You nod needily.

Biting your lip before going in for a deep passionate kiss. He wrapped his hand around your waist , scooting you up onto his lap. His hands adventured up your skirt again , grabbing your ass and slapping it. You gasp at the loud sound it made.

"My parents are home Rodrick!" You whisper yelled pulling away from the kiss.

Rodrick continued kissing your neck and ear, gripping your firm ass cheek, not giving a fuck about what anyone says. Like usual.

"Baby i truly don't give a shit, just keep it down." He sternly said.

"Mmm ok.." You moan and roll your head back as he made out with that sweet spot on your neck.

He roughly pinned you down and kissed you more this time exchanging tongue. He pulled away from the compelling kiss leaving a small train of spit

He pulled your panties off smoothly and stared at the sight to see. "Have you ever been fingered before?" He jokingly teased giving a little lightheart to this hot and spicy situation.

He trailed his hands up and down your wet pussy, looking for that spot.

When he finally got his hands on it you let out a small gaspy squeal, "Its right here?" You nod, breath getting faster.

"Yes daddy right there please~" You cry out, "Daddy?" He smirks, He slowly rubs his fingers around your clit. "Im your daddy now?" Rodrick bites his lip, "Then i guess your my little slut then."

"Are you my little slut?"  He asks you, he picks up his pace sending a small tingle down your spine, he giggled mischievously knowing that its gonna be hard for you to respond. You try to catch your breath but moans and shrieks keep cutting your words off.

"Are you my little.. slut?" He slipped in two fingers and fucked your tight hole and worked your g-spot, so much to a point where you had to grasp one of your plushies to keep from screaming. "Alright I guess ill have to make you say yes."

Your eyes roll back as you felt his mouth attach to your clit, swirling his tongue all around your sensitive clit. For the first time you actually wanted to cum..

"I think im gonna-" You bite into a pillow to cover the loud noise you were gonna let out.

Right before you were about to have an intense orgasm, he stopped. Edging you and all your senses. You whined like a little bitch.

"Shut the fuck up." He said unbuckling his pants, "Your gonna take this dick and your gonna like it, alright? alright." He said stroking his rock hard twitching dick before aggressively sliding in.

"My parents- ah-" , " I swear if you mention your parents one more time im gonna throat fuck you."  He said in a pissed off tone.

He threw your legs over his shoulders and slid a pillow under you.  Rodrick continued to fuck up into you, hitting that one spot again, and again, and again; and just to torture you, he rubbed your clit you were experiencing bliss, euphoria.

Rodrick swiftly took your legs off his shoulder and spread them wide open so he could get a deeper fuck, "stupid slut your legs are trembling." , "You really like me fucking you hard, hitting that spot just perfectly even when your parents are just sitting in their room ; feet away? " ,"Now when i ask this again, i want a response."

"are you my little slut?" He whispered into your ears, you moaned loudly and threw your head back, "Yes!", "Yes daddy, im your slut." ," I want your parents to fucking hear." He looked you deep in the eyes waiting for your response.

"Yes daddy im your slut.." You moaned loudly.

He grasped on your waist and pounded deep into you, the claps of your skin, the loud moans, at that point you forgot you even HAD parents.

He kept fucking into your tight cunt relentlessly, hitting every single spot perfectly. Humanly impossible.

"Cum whore i know you wanna." Rodrick says, you open your mouth but no moans come out.. that was it . You were actually gonna cum... Your legs began to shake and tumble ,  it felt like a large sneeze but in your stomach. "Im gonna-" You could barely get out.

You released yourself onto his cock, "Fucking hell." He said as he couldn't bare to last any longer. He pulled out of you and came onto your tired cunt.

"Damn baby." He groaned putting his softening dick away. "was it good?" He hopefully said, "It was amazing." You responded back excitedly.

That stupid curse is gone, yay!

Everything was good until you heard loud footsteps seconds away from your door.

~~~~~~~

Authors note:

This is a pretty long story but i actually enjoyed writing these ones, rodrick was my first story on this book (and my most popular) so you know i had to do the mf again🙄 pegging and femboy kink coming soon⚠️

[the-accidentals]

Chapter 1

Laura walked in through the door of her shoddy apartment, the lights flickering on as she slumped down on her stained sofa, she wanted to order takeaway but knew she didn't have the money, life was way to expensive and this week had been a pile of horse shit if any one had been, her car was in the garage after it broke down a couple days ago, the bill was so high she would need to not eat for a month. Before getting off shift today she had seen a family of five burn, only 2 getting out alive, a baby and the father. She tried to not let her job get to her but fighting fires was the easiest part, watching the families as they realise that not everyone made it is the worst, you can feel the guilt in the air. We are trained to move on, you can't take every death personally or it kills you from the inside but whenever i see a family torn apart so abruptly the worry stays on my heart, seeing happy families destroyed was definitely the worst part of her job but laura still loved the job and everyone struggles with it so she just tries to leave the worry at work,but today it followed her home, there was just something about today, the fire had started in the oldests room, probably faulty electrics, she was barely out of primary school, just starting to think she was a grown up, it had already killed the middle kid by the time anyone realised and the mother just breathed in to much smoke, it was come and go for a bit but in the end she didn't even make it to the hospital. A happy family reduced to two, a morning father and a 2 month old girl, how she survived I don't know. All that innocence and such young lives torn away so quickly.

Laura stood up shaking her head, it's not good to stay focused on the bad things, noodles and beer and an early night and she can sort everything else out in the morning.She has parents she can beg for money,they won't be happy but they wont let her starve,she just wishes she didn't have to call. For tonight she resigned herself to the sofa with a bottle of cheap beer and some veg noodles, strolling through the internet. Eventually the sun was long gone and the shame came creeping back, she was sitting here running from her responsibilities with beer, noodles and a blanket around her, just trying to hide away on the internet, she was a grown woman, an adult. She closed down reddit and opened her emails, this was an adult thing, she could clear her inbox. Ad,ad,ad,scam,ad,ad, important thing she should of replied too, she was trying to be grown up but that was slightly too grown up, ad, bank statement, don't want to look at that, oh nice easy one, the unit chief is trying to set up a quiz night, he needs to know when i'm free, i can do that. After a couple minutes of checking her calendar, which was embarrassingly empty she had formed an adult but chill response. There! She had been an adult, she had written an email and deleted a few more. She scanned over the rest hoping they could wait a few more days until a quiet moment at work, one caught her eye, an email from a trial company, she did a couple of studies a few years back to get some extra cash and extra cash was just what she needed, she looked into it, it was a medical study looking into a mental health drug, they needed people with diagnosed mental illness so she knew she would fit right in. Drug trials were not her thing but the pay was pretty good, two injections a week, £50 each, it lasted 12 months but you could leave whenever, just under £5,000 for the whole year, she probably wouldn't hang on that long but long enough that she could fix her beat up honda and still eat. Honestly how could she resist? The testing facility was a 15 minute walk away from the fire station as well. Fuck me if was perefect, no nagging from anyone about “being an adult” and “looking after your finances”. Laura finally went to bed that night, slightly tipsy, exhausted but slightly less stressed.

Laura had 2 days until she got paid and she had her first appointment for the trial today, it was a rolling study so there was no set start date. She had promised steve, the mechanic down the road, that he would get paid the bill as soon as she got paid so that he would carry on working with no money upfront, to be honest he totally owned lorna one, she had set him up with an ex of hers about a year back and she had never seen him happier. She walked up to a little privately owned clinic that she had never noticed before, it was smart but felt way to clinical, the lights were so bright it burnt and like all of these places the smell of cleaner was so strong you could taste it, she popped her phone into the pocket of her oversized jacket as she came to the front desk, the lady at the desk looked he up and down, I suppose she didn't really look like she belonged, it didn't look like a cheap sort of place.” hi i'm here for the trial, umm laura burmwell” laura muttered into the ground,she hated reception staff, they always seemed super judgy and this lady was no different, she tapped away at her screen for a few very awkward moments and sighed, pointing me to a section of chairs near the back. Pulling her earphones out she landed in a seat.

“Dont worry she wasn't very nice to me either” a voice chucked next to her, a small grinning woman sat there tapping on her phone, laura smiled back, she was gorgeous, long black hair down to her waist, out shining laura’s dirty blonde mess any day.

“ I’m glad she doesn't just hate me” Lorna joked, internally panicking. Why is such a cute woman actually talking to me? She suddenly felt amazingly underdressed, she was sat next to a stunning women who was clearly ready to go to work in a nice yellow dress and a jacket and she is there look like a gay hobo, hair up in yesterdays bun and a t shirt that has dinosaurs on it, at she is wearing smartish jeans. “I’m laura, are you here for the study?” she smiled.

“Preet, yeah, i'm hoping they can cure the fuckery going on in my head before the end of it” she chuckled but I could see the blush forming over her skin as she processed what she had said, Laura just snorted, tapping her leg on the linoleum floor, trying to think of something to say, her mind in overdrive.

“ nervous?” Preet questioned.

“i just haven't been in a drug trial for years, what if I grow four heads or something?” She joked, Preet actually burst out laughing, tears starting to form in her eyes, which got Laura laughing too, they just sat there trying to hide there laughter from the rest of the very serious looking members of the waiting room, finally after about 5 minutes they both calmed down enough to speak, laughter still glistening in their eyes.

“ but seriously these drugs will of been tested for years before it gets to these sorts of tests, its perfectly safe, they are just proving it and checking out side effects, im sure you wont grow any more heads.” At that moment Preets name was called over the speaker system, Secretly both of them were hoping they had been forgotten about so they could sit here and chat all day but neither of them said it.

“See you later Laura” Preet called as she picked up her stuff and started to follow the now waiting nurse.

Lorna went back to her music, trying to pull a stupid grin off her face.

1941- September 5th

I walked into surgery, on the bench was the patient, a young soldier, barley 19. He was burning up. Nurse Weber was standing there, trying to cool him down while setting up. He had a gun wound that was starting to get infected and the bullet had yet been removed. We set to work, removing infected tissue and finding bits of the shattered bullet but further we got the more futile it became, he kept losing blood and nothing we could do would keep his temperature down, he was pretty much dead in front of us. The nurse looked up, exhaustion in every wrinkle in her face, defeat in her eyes, im sure she had been on duty when he came on, over 10 hours earlier. With an air of defect I started sawing him up, giving him a dose of penicillin and covering the wound with gauze. I doubt he would make the night but we had tried. I removed my bloodied gloves and left. Hoping to be able to rest now. My eyes started over at the dying children and men who fill the halls. when will the war end, when will the suffering stop, have not enough died for the righteous cause? I started towards the boards, I was still on duty for another few days before I could head home. As i passed through the corridors i passed a officer asking about his son, every has someone fighting in this war to end all wars, he came to a halt in front of me desperately asking for his sons conduction, i had treated him when he first got brought in, he was going to make it but he no longer had a left leg, a bomb had hit near trench and had impaled his leg. As he quickly dismissed me, relief clear on his face, you could clearly see the shine on his Swastika pin. “Heil Hitler” I murmured as he marched away into the chaos

This is the first part of a longer story and my first time doing any serious writing, any advice welcome! I know it isn't perfect but I tried so I hope you enjoy it xx

[voidselfshipp]

🌻Sunflower Au🌻

Summary: daemon falls in love with a woman, but he doesnt know how to flirt with her, shenanigans ensue.

《...》

John enters the facility, students come and go,coming in all shapes and sizes, his mother enlisted Him into this artschool, he thought that it would take more time off of him to do graffiti, but then he saw her.

She was with him in character design class,Brown hair, shaved back, green eyes with bags under them,and this big green sweater, and her name was jerico.

He couldnt Keep his eyes off of her, and that costed him the first few clases of the semester.

He needed to wow her,but how?.

Also, needed to add, that not only John was an artist but a vigilante too, pver the course of the years he took various martial arts and programming classes and courses, naming himself "Daemon"

So his brilliant brain came up with this idea.

Wow. Her. With. Your. Alter. Ego.

Altough, his relationshipp with her was going well,they worked togheter a couple of times, went to her place to work on the assigments of their shared class, and they had a pretty good friendship.

-You have a really iconic style john- jerico says as she replaces the water on the glass she used to clean her brushes- I cant quite place it,but there is something that when i see it I go" wow, thats John's work"-

She sits on the table and starts to colour another character.

-Well, yours is really iconic too-John leans back on his chair,finishing one of his sketches- they way you do the face , and the way you aply colors are kind of your trademark-

The woman blushes and shakes her head.

-Quite the Charmer, arent you-both share a chuckle and Keep working.

Hours go by and the sun sets, the moon appears on the horizon, and the stars slowly show themselves on the dark blue Sky.

-Im leaving, its late and my roomate is going to freak out- jeri says, tugging the sleeve of her green sweater.

-You sure?, this place can get dangerous at night, dont you want to stay?-john Asks leaning on the doorframe with on of his forearms, hanging over jerico.

-Please I dont want to bother, ill text you when I get home,okay?-

-You better do so, If not I wont be able to sleep tonight-

-Oh shut up- jeri playfully and softly punches him on his arm and says goodbye.

'I gotta make sure she gets there safe' John thinks , as he grabs his Gear, putting on his Oni mask.

His feet are silent as he runs on the rooftops, with his gaze on jerico, who non-chalantly walks back to her apartment ten blocks away from his.

Suddenly his eyes catch a glimpse of two men following her, he hums and observes,they dont seem dangerous,until one of them tries to steal jerico's backpack, she fights and squirms but the guy seemed to be winning the fight,until he lands on the ground and a set of shurikens pin both of the men to the nearest wall.

Then the grabs the woman and jumps, both run trough the roofs as he grabs her hand.

When the shady men finally stops pursuing them they sit, regaining their breath.

-Thanks for saving me and my bag there- she says, with a kind smile as she scoots closer.

-Uh, youre welcome, im, im--

-Oh I know! You've been in everyones mouth since you stopped those criminals some weeks ago!im so starstruck! I got saved by Daemon, THE daemon-

His cheeks heat up, If she only knew...

Or does she?.....

They sit there and chat a little bit,then daemon feels his body shiver, jerico seems to notice it as she takes off her sweater and hangs It around his back.

-You can give it to me later, ill be good to go, I have a spare one on my backpack,my apartment is just a block away-

-And how do you know I wont steal it?-both stand up.

-Because, you saved me-

They chuckle and say goodbye.

Jerico gets down the small building they were sitting on and walks, thinking of what happened.

When she gets home she finds her roomate sleeping on the couch,covering them jeri goes to her room and falls on her bed, quickly grabbing her cellphone and texting John with "you wont Belive what happened"

He sees the message pop up, as he sits on the windowsill of his house's attic window, were his room was, messaging back with" what happened?".

They Keep talking for hours until they both feel tired.

Tomorrow is saturday luckily, so they wont hate themselves in the morning.

[...]

Sunrays filter trough the blinds, daemon groans , covering his face with his hand as his half naked form walks downstairs , he hears two voices talking, but he is too sleepy to recognize them.

-John, put some clothes on, Jerico is here-his mother says

He suddenly jumps and with half-asleep , face looks at the woman, she is blushing as she contains her laughter.

Daemon bolts to his room, picking up an sleeveless shirt and throwing it on , then going on downstairs.

-its so early- he groans.

-Early?- his mother says-its twelve pm dear, its lunchtime, I invited jerico over, now sit, your friend has already set the table-

He awkwardly sits Next to jeri,muttering a hello.

-You looked cute- the woman besides him whispers- half asleep, messy,I dont get seeing you like that too often-

-Like what?-daemon asks.

-Vulnerable- she says- John, If you are trying to flirt with me,Like you've been trying these past month, Just be straightforward,no messing around-

The Mans face heat up,looking away as his mother serves the food.

-Was I that obvious?-He asks.

-Well child-his mother says- youre not EXACTLY that subtle-

-But its cute,trying to be so smooth, its nice-

They start to eat, and after it, jerico hangs out with John a bit, talking, playing some games, until its afternoon and jeri has to leave to help her roomate with some stuff.

{...}

A soft knock is heard on jerico's Window, she looks over to see her saviour from last night, daemon.

-c'mon, let me take you to a date-he says.

-Im sorry- the woman said looking at him-my heart is after my best friend, I really cant -

-Even if the person asking it is your own best friend?- John says taking off his mask- hurry up!,come on!-

Jeri chuckles and grabs her coat, opening her Window and slipping trough it, walking down the emergency stairs with her friend.

They laugh and jump trough the city and houses,running on the rooftops and climbing them until they arrive to the tallest building around,an abandoned three flored house,on its rooftop its a blanket and some candles.

-Its so corny,I know- daemon says holding jericos hand-you said to be Straight-forward so here I am-

-John I--

-Jerico, since I saw you, something is there, bugging me,pulling me to you like a magnet,I cant help it, eveytime youre near me, I have this urge to hug you, and be close to you, you are my best Friend, and I, I love you, so much...I want to be your boyfriend,but the desicion is yours to make-

-Yes,just yes, shut the fuck up and kiss me, now-

-Like , l like now, right now , now-

-Jo, did I stutter?-

Daemon pulls her on a kiss, walking backwards to the blanket and laying down on it

-took you long enough-jerico said.

-Oh shut up, If you knew that I was daemon,you would already be at my feet-

-Oh but I knew, the design?the voice?they made me realize from the moment I saw you, not even the voice disruptor on your mask can disguise your speech patterns-

-So wait,thats why you lend me your sweater?-

-Uh duh, of course,youre the only one who has my permission to touch it, even go near it-

Johns face burns red as he hides it behind his hands, Rolling on his side-

-Im such a dumbass-

-my dumbass-jeri says, hugging him from behind.

They stay in silence for a bit.

-Youre a sunflower- John mutters with his eyes half lidded.

-I think your love would be too much-

-Oh you'll be left in the dust-

-unless I stuck by ya'-

Youre a sunflower

John chuckles and kisses Jerico's forehead as they sleeply sing to eachother.

Youre a sunflower

~●~

[wintersxsoul]

Ancient Love (2)

Summary: Loki never thought he would fall in love with a mortal, but much less that he would lose you as fast as he did. But…did he really lose you?

Pairing: Loki x Female Viking!Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Dirty talking, mentions of sex and all that stuff.

A/N: Finally I get to finish this chapter. It’s been almost done for almost a week, I’m a mess ugh ily. Please, give feedback, a reblog never hurt no one and it really keeps me motivated to keep writing.

As always, Masterlist and Taglist are on my blog bio!

As weeks went by, you spent less and less time on the village and more in the woods, with the company of your foreigner friend. You were stubborn so you were struggling to admit your feelings to yourself, knowing what that could bring you. You discovered new things about the world you lived in thanks to Loki, his extent knowledge always taking you aback. He was soft and caring but something in his demeanor denoted a strong feeling of loneliness, you never asked him about it though, maybe with time he would open up to you. Loki, on the other hand, was falling for your beauty and strength of spirit, a warrior indeed. You moved around the woods like you belonged there, swaying around like leaves on the wind.

The day Loki knew he loved you was the day you were sparring with him, you achieved to pin him on the soft grass your sword threatening to cut his throat open if he moved. Your faces were mere inches apart and you could feel his hot breath on your cold lips, for a brief moment you thought it was finally going to happen but the bubble burst when you heard a loud caw coming from a crow that was sitting on a branch, staring at you.

“Let’s go, it’s getting late.” You stood up and reached out to help him get up, a shiver ran down your spine when your hands made contact for the first time, something blooming warmly in your heart.

You walked slowly through the woods admiring how the moon lit the top of the trees, the dark green shades appearing to be silver. Loki was silently admiring you, how your hair flowed with the wind and the moonlight making your skin glow. A true goddess of the woods, he thought. He would have never thought he was capable of loving someone, but there you were, making his heart ache.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You stopped dead in your tracks when you realized he had a weird expression on his face, maybe thinking that you did something to upset him. Loki’s eyes widened when you looked at him, confused and you also seemed to be scared, your eyes betraying you.

“I...uhm I think I...you have something in your hair.” He reached out to get it off your hair, a fake leaf he created to hide his true thoughts.

“Oh...okay, thank you.” You placed a strand of hair behind your ear and started walking, leaving Loki behind. He ran to you after he scolded himself, totally missing how you sighed heavily, longing for him. You were walking besides him really close, your hands brushing lightly, until you gathered the strength to intertwine your fingers with his. You heard his breath hitch but said nothing, smiling to yourself. Small victories, you thought.

Loki was hard to approach at first, you were sure he had secluded himself so deeply he forgot how to interact with someone, but as the first days went by, his actions changed, leading you to that exact moment.

Most of the nights, you slept at his hut but that night, something felt different. You could feel he was nervous and that made you aware that something you didn’t know was going on.

He stopped in front of his door and looked at you, his green eyes piercing yours. You instantly saw what was troubling him but you wanted, needed, to hear it from his own mouth.

“I’ve always thought I was incapable of bearing this kind of feelings in my chest, but you’ve set a fire inside that I’m not able to extinguish. And I do not have the will or power to do so.” He had his hand pressed on his left side of the chest, on top of his heart. Your eyes widened at his honesty and you were now able to see the love and adoration in his gaze. You placed your hand on top of his while you moved the other one to cup his cheek.

“Loki, my heart and soul are yours.” That’s all it took for him to close the space between you, his lips softly colliding against yours. Your eyes fluttered closed, your whole self melting into his arms. Loki let out a soft whimper and you moaned into his mouth, deepening the kiss, trying to pour all the love, adoration, passion and total surrender of your barriers.

Loki felt he was about to burst into flames, your breath filling his lungs with your sweet scent. He moved his hands to your waist, pulling you closer to him, your chest colliding to his, both of your hearts beating rapidly, pounding with lust. You ran your hands through his raven locks and pulled, making Loki’s breath hitch and you bit his bottom lip after tracing it with your tongue. He pulled apart trying to catch his breath and pressed his forehead against yours.

He slowly opened his eyes and watched you adoringly, both of your gazes full of desire.

“If we continue, I won’t be able to stop.” You said out of breath still right before Loki leaned in to kiss you again, this time more needy and intense.

“Then don’t.” He added, his voice low and hoarse.

-

“Do we really have to get out?” You whined at him, the coldness of the morning hitting your bare skin. Loki gave your dry lips a soft peck and got out of bed, in all his naked glory.

“We’ve been rolling on the bed for two days, Y/n. We really have to get out. We barely have food and water left.” You let out a sigh and grabbed his wrist before he could move further from the bed.

“I can think of a few very nutritional meals.” He looked at you amused by your insatiable thirst, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted by your offer, after all, he had the stamina of a god.

“Ástin mín (my love), just stay in bed and I’ll go find us something to eat.” You pouted but nodded, pulling the furs up to cover your body, watching him get dressed.

“Óst min, kyss mik (my love, kiss me.)” You tried to sound demanding but your voice trembled in anticipation, your lips longing for his, your body already missing his heat. He leaned in and pressed a kiss on top of your head, his hand cupping your cheek.

“I’ll be back before dawn, warm the bed for me.” You smiled at him lovingly and snuggled up in the bed, smelling Loki’s scent in the huge blanket.

Loki knew it would take him a few hours to hunt a big prey, so he started collecting fruits to eat and flowers to give you, knowing he could later find some meat on the village.

After a few hours he went back to the hut, some fresh stolen meat, a basket full of wild berries and daisies. He tried not to startle you so he opened the door slowly his heart swelling at the view in front of his eyes. You were sprawled on the bed, back facing the ceiling and arms tucked under the pillow, your breath blowing a few strands of hair back and forth from your face. He casted a fire, the woods from the fireplace lighting immediately and he also lit the candles, since it was already dark outside.

He approached the bed and sat besides you, leaning forward and trailing kisses up and down your naked back. You moaned half asleep and turned around, your eyes glancing at Loki half-lidded due to your sleepy state. You sat down and pressed your forehead to his chest, your hair covering your face. Loki hugged you and stroke your hair, rocking both of your bodies slowly.

“Are you okay?” You nodded, face still buried in his chest. You finally moved to look at him and smiled, reaching out to kiss him on the throat, a small and sweet peck.

“I’m starving. Can we please eat and then get back to bed?” He nodded smiling at your petition, standing up to cook the meat and prepare some herbal tea.

Months had passed since the first night you spent together, both of your new lives already established. You moved to Loki’s house since it was way bigger than yours, the spot where it was marvelous. You bought a few chickens, a cow and two horses, so you would always have food, milk and a way of transport. You never knew where Loki had gained all that money and when you asked, he always said it was from his father’s fortune.

You woke up one morning to an empty bed, thinking that maybe your lover went to gather some fruits or flowers as he usually did and as the morning went by, you tried to ignore the burning feeling that was settled on your chest, the feeling that something bad was going to happen. You were preparing some herbal tea when rain started to fall heavily on the roof of the hut, frowning, you went outside to check if it was really raining. It was very rare that it rained at this time of year, maybe the gods listened to someone’s prayers like they did with yours, it was the only logical explanation, for you at least. Loki on the other hand hurried through the woods to get to you knowing that you weren’t safe.

Just when the wooden house was in his field vision, he heard a scream, your scream, and it wasn’t coming from the house, so he ran, he ran so fast he thought his lungs were bleeding and oh god, how much he wanted that to be true because it wouldn’t be as painful as seeing what was in front of him.

[iwroteinapastlife]

So all I see is a jealous/hurt Chloe cause of Nath's crush on Mari So what about a fic where Nath is jealous of Adrien cause of Chloe's crush on him 😀😀😀😀

I think you sent me this request like two years ago. Sorry for taking so long; I hope you like it~

cw: steamy make outs

The day Nathaniel finally asked her out—after months of convoluted flirtation, rooftopvisits as Queen Bee, and even a couple of impulsive kisses—also happened to bethe same day that Chloé had shared a long, intimate hug with Adrien out on thefront steps of the school.

Now, don’t get her wrong, she was so very far over Adrienthat the prospect of dating him now actually made her gag. That hug hadn’t beenanything romantic. Quite the opposite in fact; it had followed her tellingAdrien that she considered him family, and him saying as much back.

…But Nathaniel didn’t know that.

At the time, she hadn’t noticed that the two eventscoincided. She’d just thought that it was a really cathartic day, and left itat that.

The day Nathaniel revealed to their whole class that theywere dating by kissing her in the middle of the courtyard also happened to beAdrien’s birthday, in which Chloé had gifted him a ridiculous black cat beanieright before school (side note: he loved it, the utter dork that he was). WhenChloé had asked him later why he chose then and there to tell everyone—and likethat for that matter—Nathaniel had merelyshrugged.

“I just wantedeveryone to know,” he’d said, and that was the most she’d ever gottentoward an answer there.

It wasn’t until her own birthday months later that she’dbegun connecting the dots. When Adrien had shown up to her party, she’d runforward and thrown her arms around him of course. That was the way she oftengreeted her best friend—especially whenhe had a gift in his hands.

But less than five minutes had passed after that whenNathaniel pulled her into the supply closet and kissed her fiercely. Itcertainly wasn’t the first time he’d kissed her like that—not even the firsttime he’d kissed her like that in asupply closet—but it caught her off guard nonetheless. It was just so sudden, and in the middle of her partyat that. He hadn’t seemed particularly…onedge or anything before that; he’d just had a sudden urgency about him thesecond she’d stepped away from her conversation with Adrien.

And it was right about there—with his lips on hers, hishands on her waist, and her back against the supply closet door—that sherealized:

Her boyfriend had a jealous streak.

Now, people might debate over the morality of what she didafter that, but really, if you asked her, Nathaniel signed up for this when hechose to date her.

They were hanging out in her room a few days later when shechose to test it. She only wanted to do something small to start it off— a tinyspark to see just what would ignite. So, sitting on the couch with her legsacross his lap as he sketched, Chloé stared at her blank phone and giggled. Alot.

Oblivious as he was, it took about five minutes for him tonotice.

“What’s so funny?” he’d asked, not looking up from hissketchbook.

“Nothing,” she’d replied, laughter still bubbling in hervoice, “I’m just snapchatting Adrien.”

Results were disappointing at first. All he’d done was humhis understanding and nod. His pencil hadn’t even paused. She thought maybe shehad been wrong; maybe it wasn’t actually jealousy driving his actions. Or maybehe was too wrapped up in his sketching for it to work. Or maybe just mentioningAdrien wouldn’t do it; maybe it had to be interactions that he saw himself.

She was in the middle of postulating when he’d set his sketchbook aside two minutes later.

…And tugged her down on the couch so she was underneath him.

“Um. Hi.”

“Hi.” And then his lips were on her.

She’d had to hold back her smile as she sank into his kiss. Okay, she’d noted, so he just needed to finish his sketch.

The next time she tested it, it wasn’t so much planned as itwas taking advantage of an opportunity.

She was at Nathaniel’s house that day, sitting in his roomwatching a movie, and Adrien just happened to call.

She’d put on her sweetest tone as she answered the call,pausing the movie and hopping up from his bed to pace, as she naturally didwhen on the phone. “Hi Adrien!”

“Hey Chloé, we need tohave a meeting tomorrow night. You know, with the gang.”

“Tomorrow night? Well that’s kind of short notice, but I’llmake an exception for you.”

“Uh…Yeah, okay,thanks. We’re meeting at the parlorat 8. Come dressed up.”

“Dress up? Ooh how fancy.”

She smiled to herself when she heard Nathaniel get up fromthe bed. It didn’t take long at all now that he wasn’t focused on anythingelse.

“Um. Chloé, you are gettingwhat I’m saying, right?”

She giggled mildly flirtatiously. “Of course, Adrien. Icatch all of your hints.”

Nathaniel’s hands connected with her sides then, snaking underher shirt to take a firm grip on her waist and pull her back against him. She inhaleddeep and closed her eyes as his lips skimmed her neck.

“Alright. So you’ll bethere tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Chloé missed whatever Adrien said next, because Nathaniel’shot breath cascaded over her other ear in a low whisper. “Hang up.”

That tone sent electricity racing straight down her spine.She cut off Adrien mid-sentence.

“YeahthanksAdrienIgottagobye.”

They never finished watching that movie.

Three or four more instances like that passed over the next fewmonths—so in her defense, she wasn’tdoing it often. She really just didit when she was feeling particularly…mischievous.

And today, she was feeling mischievous.

The bell had just released the class for lunch when Chloéstepped up to Adrien with a sweet smile. “Be careful, Adrien, you’ve got astray hair.” The boy blinked at her as she reached out and tucked an imaginaryhair behind his ear.

“Um…Thank you?”

She had just barely lowered her hand when Nathaniel snatchedit up, stalking out of the room and dragging her with him.

“No problem, see you later!”

She hardly held back her giggles as he led her around thecorner to a less-frequented hallway. Once they were a somewhat safe distanceaway from other students, he turned and pressed her up against the wall. A tinygasp was all that escaped before his lips crashed down on hers.

Chloé tried not to disrupt the kiss with her smile, but wow she absolutely loved the wayjealousy brought out his more aggressive side. His hands were far less gentleon her waist than they normally were—fingers digging into her flesh as they peakedunder the hem of her shirt—and she could hardly breathe between the urgency ofhis kisses and the way he had her pinned with his body.

One particular gasp for air had him abandoning her mouth,trekking a path of open-mouthed kisses along her jaw down to her neck. She bit backa small moan as his lips locked onto her skin, sucking and biting with anintensity he usually reserved for those long weekend nights when his parentswouldn’t be back for hours. She thread her fingers through his hair and held onfor dear life, head absolutely swimming in the pure intoxication that was hislips, his tongue, his teeth, his everything.

Then he stopped.

Nathaniel placed one gentle kiss on the now sensitive skinbefore coming back up to rest his forehead against hers. When she opened hereyes, that breathtaking teal was burning into her, alight with arousal andlaced with an underlying fury that had her heart stopping dead in its tracks.

“I know you’re doing it on purpose, Chloé.” She got thedistinct feeling that if his voice hadn’t been in a whisper, he would havegrowled the words.

She swallowed down a nervous lump in her throat. “Doing whaton purpose?”

He narrowed his gaze at her and if she could have pressedherself further into the wall at her back she would have. A tiny smile threatenedthe corner of her lips. His eyes caught it the second she twitched and within abreath, he had seized her mouth in another kiss.

He bit down on her bottom lip and dragged it between histeeth as he separated from her again—a clear warning. “You’re playing adangerous game, Bourgeois,” he whispered.

“You make me want to keep playing, Kurtzberg,” she whisperedback.

Oh that tiny smirk was going to haunt her dreams for weeks. “Fine,but just know that this—,” he lifted a hand and gently tapped the side of herneck, “—is only the beginning.”

She blinked. “This?” He took a step back, giving herbreathing room again and leaving her skin cold without his touch. “This what?”

His smile then was absolutely sadistic and had desireigniting anew deep in her chest. “See you in class, Chloé.” And with that, heturned and walked away.

“Where are you going? What’d you do??” But he didn’t answer,only cast her one more satisfied grin before turning the corner and leaving hersight.

She reached up and traced her fingers over her neck inconfusion. Then cold realization seeped in as she came into contact withsensitive flesh.

A hickie.

In plain sight on her neck, in the middle of a school day,he’d given her a hickie.

She stood there in horror for a solid minute before a wickedsmile slowly spread across her lips.

Oh it is so on.

[sasuhinasno1fan]

Interesting flight

And here it is, the end of Klance AU Month. I actually did it, I did a story for every day, well except day 10 but I've done a whole series on YouTuber, I think I was allowed to skip an AU I knew I wasn't good at. A big thanks to @monthlyklance  for moding this event of sorts and being very nice as I sent them link after link of my fics because tumblr wouldn't show my stories in the tag search. Don't know if I'll do this again, maybe when I know time won't be taken up by classes. Wasn't my best fic I think but it's been a long day. Free Day (Single Parent AU)

“Are we going to see granny?” Sylvio asked, watching his uncle feed his little sister.

“Yeah, are you excited?” Lance asked, pulling the empty bottle away from Nadia’s mouth and then handing it to the young boy.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to spend my birthday with them. Uncle Lance?”

“Hmm, what’s wrong?”

“Can we go see mommy and papi?”

Lance’s smile faded a little. Sylvio’s parents, his own older brother and sister-in-law, died in a car crash. Lance had been babysitting his niece and nephew, being the only family member living in L.A like Marco, while everyone was in Florida. He’d just put the kids to sleep, wondering where his brother even was when he got a call. Everything had changed in that night. Being the only one of age that was in the area, Lance had gone from an uncle who was going to start working at the local kindergarten to being a stand in parent. It was hard, having to readjust, having to explain to his nephew that his parents weren’t coming back, to try and calm his niece who’d cry for her parents’ way of calming her. Sylvio had finally understood that his uncle was going to take care of him and his sister from then on, he seemed to grow up. He was only 4, Lance hated that he felt like he should be the one help take care of Nadia when all he should be concerned with was living as a 4 year old. Lance had sent the ashes of Marco and his wife Lisa to Florida to live with his parents after he’d find Sylvio staring at the urn for hours.

“Sure buddy. You need to tell them about all you’ve been up to.”

“We’re about to start boarding for Flight 239 from Los Angles to Florida. Please look at your ticket for your boarding group number. We’d like to invite our first class flyers and membership flyers to start boarding.”

“Grab our tickets buddy.” Lance instructed as he fitted Nadia into the front carrier, feeling her little breaths against his chest. “What number we got?”

“1!” Sylvio called, showing off the tickets to his uncle.

“That’s right. You hold on tight to that ok? I’ll hold our bag alright?”

“We now invite group 1 to board.”

“That’s us! Let’s go Uncle Lance.” Sylvio said, jumping from his seat and running to the line. Lance smiled apologetically to the people who’d been cut off by Sylvio. The flight attendants smiled down at Sylvio as they took the tickets and scanned them before pointing then in the right direction.

“Whoa, buddy, not so fast.” Lance said as Sylvio ran down the corridor to the plane.

“Hello little one.” The flight attendant at the entrance said, helping Sylvio onto the plane. “What’s your name?”

“Sylvio. That’s my sister Nadia and my Uncle Lance.”

“Is it your first time on a plane?”

“Yeah! I’m going to see my granny.”

“Oh, well when you go see her, you’ll have to show her this.” The flight attendant pulled out a pin of wings and attached it to Sylvio’s shirt.

“Uncle Lance, look!”

“Looking good buddy. Can you ask her where our seat is?”

“Oh, where are we sitting?” Sylvio asked, letting the flight attendant look at the ticket.

“You’re number 12 B which means you’re on the left. Do you know where your left hand is?”

“Yes!” he relied holding up his left hand.

“Let’s go buddy. Thank you.”

Using his left hand, Sylvio counted the chairs they passed slowly, Lance reminding him which numbers came next. They reached their seats and Lance had Sylvio climb into the seat by the window when he realised he had a problem. Nadia was still on his chest and he had to lift the carry on suitcase into the overhead bin. He could take her off and lay her down in the seats, but he could feel her start to squirm and he didn’t trust Sylvio to keep her still.

“Do you need help?” Lance looked to see the person standing behind him. he only had a backpack on, his sweatshirt drowning him.

“Um, if you could? I don’t want to risk hitting her.”

“Of course, back up a bit.” Like the suitcase weighed nothing, he picked it up and slid it into the overhead bin. Once it was set, he gestured for Lance to sit down. He waited for Lance the sit in his seat next to Sylvio before pulling his bag off and sitting next to him.

Their seat was the one right after the last first class seat so in no time, Sylvio climbed off his seat and sat on the floor. Lance didn’t say anything as it would still be some time until he had to sit his nephew down again and focused on making sure Nadia’s baby bag, that also held his laptop and tablet he’d given to Sylvio for the trip was under his seat. He didn’t want to have to shove it in the overhead bin. He saw that their aisle mate was the same, shoving his bookbag under his seat.

“Excuse me,” one of the flight attendants asked, “we have basinets if you want one for your daughter?”

“Niece and thank you.” Lance said, patting Nadia as she started to whine a little.

“You probably have time to feed her before we take off.” Their aisle mate said.

Lance looked over at him. he’d stripped his sweatshirt, not bothering to fix his shirt, which even its mess showed his fit figure. He also noticed how long his hair was. It was past his shoulders and looked really soft. He hoped Nadia didn’t spot it. Lisa had long hair so Nadia was used to long hair being near her when she was being held.

“She already ate. Thankfully she got hungry before we had to board.”

The guy looked down at Sylvio who was looking under the seats. “You having fun down there?”

“Uh huh!”

He let out a small laugh, smiling at Sylvio. Thank god, he seemed to like kids. “Cute kid.”

“It’s in his genes. We McClains are adorable.”

“I’m sure.”

Everyone was seated and Lance had coaxed Sylvio up to his seat for take-off. Their aisle mate offered him gum to help with the pressure build-up, letting Sylvio take an extra one. Nadia had dozed off and Lance hoped she’d stay like that for a while. Sylvio’s eyes were glued to the open window as the plane went down the runway and started to pick up speed.

“We’re going fast!”

“Keep chewing buddy, it’ll help your ears.” Lance said.

Soon the plane tipped up and they took off. Sylvio’s chewing slowed as he watched the world below the plane grow smaller. Lance glanced down as Nadia’s face scrunched up. He gently shushed her, hoping she stayed asleep. As they got higher though, she moved around more and woke up crying. Lance groaned in his head. Crying baby and they weren’t allowed to move around yet, just his luck.

Sylvio, thank god, turned away from the window and started asking his sister what was wrong. Usually it would calm her down slightly but Lance guessed the pressure was hurting her too much for her to pay attention to her brother.

“Is it the pressure bothering her?” His aisle mate asked.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine, really. I know people get annoyed by it but babies can’t really control these things.”

Lance was extremely grateful of the understanding man. Finally the seatbelt sign turned off and Lance blocked out what the head flight attendant was saying as he undid his seatbelt and was let out by the still slightly ruffled man. “Sylvio, stay here ok?”

“Ok.”

Lance tried to ignore the looks he got as Nadia continued to cry. He hadn’t gotten the chance to grab her pacifier though he doubted she’d keep it in her mouth. He gently shushed her, bouncing as he tried to calm her down. Thankfully her cries lessened but she still whined loudly.

“Shh, shh, you’re ok.” He whispered when he saw the same man coming towards him. he moved away from the bathroom thinking he was heading there.

“Your, um, nephew, asked me check on you?”

“Sylvio yeah. He knows he can’t do it himself. You don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind. What’s her name?”

“Nadia.”

“Nadia.” He called, standing next to Lance. “Nadia.”

Hearing a new voice, Nadia tired looking for it, her whining quieting some.

“Do you want to try holding her?”

“If it’s ok.”

“Sure. Help me?” he asked, pointing to the buckle on his back.

It was unclipped and Lance slipped the handles off, keeping Nadia close to him. he let the other man take her, easily taking her into his arms.

“You’re pretty good.”

“My brother has a kid, I volunteered at their day-care.”

Nadia’s whining stopped as she stared up at the new face. She blinked and reached out her hand.

“Wait, Nadia, no!” Lance said as she gripped his hair, holding it firm in her grip. Her gaze was completely fixed on the long black strands in her fist. “I am so sorry. She has a thing with hair, she doesn’t let – no don’t put it in your mouth! Oh god, Nadia.”

“It’s ok. I mean there are worse ways to spend a flight. I never did introduce myself, I’m Keith.” He said, his hand pulling Nadia’s fist away from her mouth.

“Lance, hi. Um, she’s not going to let go.”

“It’s ok, I don’t mind holding her. Besides, you still have your nephew to worry about.”

“Um, right. Thanks.” Lance pulled off the carrier entirely and lead them back to there seats where Sylvio stared at his sister in Keith’s arms.

“She liked his hair?”

“You know your sister. Do you want your tablet?”

“Yes please.”

“How old is he?” Keith asked letting Nadia stand on his lap so he wouldn’t risk her pulling out his hair.

“4.”

“He talks a lot for a 4 year old.”

“Another gene of McClains, we don’t have an off switch.” Lance said, opening the armrest to pull out the try for Sylvio, letting him navigate the tablet on his own. “So you volunteer at your um?”

“Nephew. I picked him up one day and was asked to stick around to help with something and the next thing I knew, I kept going back. I work in security so kids except my nephew I never thought were my forte. Turns out I’m not bad with them.”

“I can tell. I work at a kindergarten and I don’t think I’ve managed to calm a fussy kid down the quickly.”

“I guess you’d be good with kids. You got Sylvio very worried about you.”

Lance gained a pain smile on his face, “it for a different reason. Their parents died a while back. I went from babysitting uncle to new dad in a night.” Looking over at Sylvio who focused on the tablet. “Sylvio had to understand that so young. When I dropped him off to school on the first day back, he wouldn’t stop crying for hours and of course seeing her brother cry made Nadia sad.”

“That must have been a lot.”

Lance nodded. “It was. Parenting is terrifying enough. It’s hard but a smile from either of these two makes it feel worth it.”

“I know they must apr-Ow!” Keith was cut off when Nadia pulled on his hair.

“No Nadia.” Lance said, pulling her fist open, even though she whined. Keith sat her on his lap and gave her his hand to play with. “Again, really sorry.” He said, pushing Keith’s hair off his shoulders.

“Here’s that bassinet.” The flight attendant came and attached the carrier onto the wall in front of them, pressing down on it to make sure it was stable. “Let’s give your boyfriend’s lap a break.

“Oh, uh, he’s not my boyfriend.” Lance corrected, feeling his cheeks getting hot.

“What’s a boyfriend?” Sylvio asked, Lance frowning at him.

“Now you pull your attention from the tablet. Don’t worry about that silly.”

“Sorry, it’s just she seems so comfortable on his lap and he seemed so nice to you as you were boarding. My apologies. We’ll start the drink service soon.”

“Thank you.” Once the flight attendant left, Lance turned to Keith. “I honestly feel like all I’m doing is apologizing.”

Keith lifted Nadia off his lap and placed her in the basinet, watching her look around. “It’s ok. I can certainly say this is one of the most interesting flights I’ve been on.”

[thedappleddragon]

haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go. 

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever.  another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )

[teachers-are-nerds]

right so im basically s o incredibly much better than i was last night and yet

im just gonna tw this whole fucking thing so ultimately it is a real blah-blah-blah space. dont sweat it im just tryna work some things out with myself.

(also if u read any of my shit from last night im sorry. also i’m keeping it up after all for now because like.... i can. it’s like a diary that i flimsily hide under a “read more.”)

i ate a good amount today and i am already hating myself for it. like. i had a damn solid lunch and it was after having woken up and almost throwing up and almost passing out at work that i was like okay it’s been three days of little to nothing i guess i should eat for real. and so i did. and i, wow, surprise, felt better. who fuckin knew rofl

and yet the moment i decided i would give myself a little treat, something sweet and yummy, i now instantly hate myself again.

not to a level that ill get wine-drunk on a wednesday night because why would it work better on a wednesday night than a tuesday night lolz

but like

still

and i definitely cut the hell out of my hips. and now my friend saw them. i mean i wasnt thinking about it when i moved so since they were just, like, there, existing, he was like um. whats this. and i was like fuck lol

anyway

idk if when most people do it it’s about quantity or like... “quality” is a terrible word for this. ive gotten different results with different materials and i know this is an a w fU L thing to be writing about but i also kind of need it to be /not/ in my head rn ya feel me anyway i have stopped going for my forearm since the last ones stayed around too long and still havent gone away but last night i did that and went to Heck on my hips and wow oh boy this is a first!! went for my wrist.

idk this is stupid and whatever. i just wish i could stop wishing for more harm. i know that’s a bad sign. i also take my meds and i most certainly have the control and the ability to not do these things but oh my god they just are so strong. it’s like im building myself up. building my tolerance to take more damage at once.

i am not planning on killing myself and i am not really keen on searching for ways to gain incredible wounds. i just think about cutting myself open and throwing up a whole hell of a lot more than i should, and instead of doing those things i take pins of various sorts to skin of various places and avoid eating so i can avoid wanting to throw up because lbr what’s more unpleasant, a rumbly tummy or acid coming up your esophagus?

it’s not even that im particularly uncomfortable or dissatisfied with my body???????? it’s just a thing?? like it started as a “you dont deserve food because of x y or z factor” and now it’s just “food is awesome but eating is Bad” and im like?????????????? bitch fuck off???????????????????? did i ask

then theres booze. and this one is hard. because i really like drinking and being silly with my friends and i can absolutely ABSOLUTELY do things for fun without alcohol. i dont have a dependency on it. of this fact i am about 87% sure.

what does scare me about myself is how hard ill go and how... frequently i might do it. and also that i reply to every meme or show mentioning alcohol with “lol same that’s me”

part of me wishes i couldve spent the summer at home so i would have a few months where i dont have alcohol at all but since i live at school fuckin hell of course im gonna drink when i can like shit’s tough booze is fun i hate myself let’s fucking go

and also sex

now this one is a new one for me

well, kind of (in some ways)

right so a lot of the things i think im pretty into are fun in small mature responsibly handled ways but what if i just.... died...... at the hands of a partner like what if that was a Thing. i think about that a lot. being really drunk and choked to death. or something.choked to death and sliced right down the middle so im spilling stomach conents everywhere and i cant feel anything ecause alcohol and hands on my throat

idk it’s bad i have this whole scene in my head

most of its variations in my head are nonsexual actually but like goddamn if that aint a way to go??

“i wanna drink until i ache / i wanna make a big mistake”

thanks marina

those lines are really, like. really too fucking real for me right now.

fuck.

[gaynasa]

1-85 😈

1. Are looks important in a relationship?eehhh not really?? but I mean ive got to find you attractive somehow :D

2. Are relationships ever worth it?yes yes yes

3. Are you a virgin?yep

4. Are you in a relationship?single :P

5. Are you in love?eh ive got some crushes but not rlly

6. Are you single this year?still yep

7. Can you commit to one person?v easily and completely lmao

8. Describe your crushoooh ive got two probably they’re both girls and suPER CUTE but far away so im trying not to let myself get hooked plus if i describe them they’ll def know it’s them

9. Describe your perfect mateloves me and we do things and create together and lots of stuff ugh

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?aesthetically yeah?? :0

11. Do you ever want to get married?YEAH

12. Do you forgive betrayal?lmao i mean probably yes if i like you ill probably forgive every and any thing

13. Do you get jealous easily?YEAH i try to keep it from blocking anything but yeah v much so lmao

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?i feel like this repeats its self a bit but yeah ive got two big ones rn

15. Do you have any piercings?just one on each ear

16. Do you have any tattoos?nope :0

17. Do you like kissing in public?not like making out or anything but little kisses yeah

20. Do you shower every day?yeah it’s part of my routine each morning

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?probably not :((

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?lmao definitely not

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?easily

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?no :/

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?idk with how i’ve been emotionally and such rn idk if it’d be a good idea but if i met the right person id be v down with it

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?lmao yeah

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?yes!!! it was super great

28. Have you ever been cheated on?not that i know of

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?NO

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?yeah tbh i want to be skinnier pls also idk id think about getting chest surgery

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?a LOT fuck me

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?eh sort of??

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?nope

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?nope lmao the only person id consider doing it with rn is a close tumblr friend bc i trust him and i want to some time but he’s far away

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?yeah

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?YEAH

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?i dont think so

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?not really?

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?lmao all the time

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?YES i write a lot for ppl i like

41. Have you had sex so far this year?nope

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?lmao depends where we are

43. How long was your longest relationship?a yearish :0

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?2 girlfriends

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?oooh idk

46. How many times did you have sex last year?me, a virgin, had sex 2000000000 times

47. How old are you?18

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?i support them a lot and offer to help n such and yeah

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?hi

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?does this mean my first gf?? yeah definitely but that would never happen :D im proud of her tho like she’s so amazing and talented and beautiful  

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?hell yes

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?aah idk??? mostly just me

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?nah

54. Is there someone you will never forget?YEAH

55. Share a relationship story.aaah the first thing i ever said to my first gf was “can I borrow your hammer cuz I wanna bang that wood” bc she was cosplaying (V ATTRACTIVE) john with a giant zillyhoo hammer and i was in karkat cosplay and then i RAN AWAY bc i was shy

56. State 8 facts about your bodyi dont like it at all D:

57. Things you want to say to an exim sorry

58. What are five ways to win your heart?it;s not too hard lmao giving effort to talk to me, expressing interest in similar things or just having enthusiasm about somehting, cosplay and costuming or makeup skills, affection towards me, writing/poem/songs for me

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)psshh im a mes rn

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?a year

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?how they look?

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?biNCH anything i like when ppl feel like they look good and then they come and show me and its like YES also im probably a sucker for all those cliche romantic setups like yes

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?idk yet rlly

64. What is your definition of cheating?going behind your partner’s back

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?i haven’t really gotten to do much D: i like making out??? i rlly like neck kisses and like pinning ppl down (or being pinned) and kissing them everywhere

66. What is your favourite roleplay?pretending we’re both okay

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?ahh i dont wanna make myself sad bc i wont get one for a long time probably

68. What is your sexual orientation?asexual? im p neutral about sex i dont mind the action ig and id do it with someone i trust but ive never been like attracted sexually

69. What turns you off?conservatives and being rude also baby talk 100% dont play dumb with me  

70. What turns you on?kjnbjkebnjkbneanjgh things

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?we aint admitting to that kind of shit

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?idk yet my dude

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?buy me stuff rn i want sclera lenses so BAD also just being together and little signs and aaah idk

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?im not sure?

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?dang idk about sweetest but a couple weeks ago a dude i know bought me a mimikyu pin and card randomly bc he knew they’re my favorite and im still crying

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?ooh someone would have to tell me that i do my best

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?under 18 probably no more than a two year difference?? if that makes sense but once both are older i think it’s less bad probably not more than like 8 years at most?? at most

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?if i told you it wouldn’t be secret

79. When was the last time you felt jealous?24/7 my dude

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?lmao i literally told Nora that at the top of this I love Nora

81. Who are five people you find attractive?Annie, Ava, Sky, César, Sofija, and Shay

82. Who is the last person you hugged?I think Kyle???

83. Who was your first kiss with?first romantic one is my first gf Hannah

84. Why did your last relationship fail?a lot of combined reasons ig mostly that it wasn’t felt anymore

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?maybe?? id want to meet irl

[missjackil]

One Year.... One year ago this month, I was introduced to these AMAZING gentlemen, and life has never been the same! I don’t recall the exact day it happened, but I do know it was March, 2016, 

This is how it started... It was a very cold, snowy winter here in NJ last year, so my life long friend Dawn, my daughter Sarah, and I started binge watching different series on Netflix. Dawn first suggested this show Supernatural, which I had only heard of in passing a few times over the years, but she had watched since the beginning. She said I would love it, the brothers  are hot, they hunt monsters and demons, delve a lot into Religion, which is a big interest of mine, I even have a degree in Theology, and am legally ordained. I checked the title on Netflix and saw it had 10 seasons available, and I said  “Nah, that’s a pretty big commitment, I dont think I could stay interested in a show that long” then Dawn informed me, that it was still on the air and in season 11. Not my cup of tea, so I declined. She next suggested Nurse Jackie, which was really good, but so easy to burn through. I got the next pick and picked House MD which had been mine, and my daughter Sarah’s favorite series to date.  This was a longer series than Nurse Jackie, 8 seasons instead of 7, and hour long episodes, as opposed to half hour. This took almost 2 months to get through. While watching this series again, I would keep commenting how much I loved the bromance between House and Wilson, to wish Dawn would always reply “The you will LOVE Sam and Dean!!” So since she had next pick, I agreed to give Supernatural a try.  And this is what happened... *CRASH BOOM BANG  <heavy flop>* “Wooooaaah easy tiger” “Dean?” Yeah, these boys are freakin adorable, and Im gonna love this bromance. I thought Dean was hot, and Sam was cute. Too young for me to think he was hot (me being 49 at the time) but I felt like the monsters and a lot of the horror was pretty lame, and sometimes even cheesy, though I did enjoy the chemistry the boys had with each other, and found Sam’s psychic visions to be an interesting element, I didn’t think I would stay interested for very long.  For a while, we were only watching 2-3 episodes at a time, a couple times a week when Dawn would come over. Near the end of S1 I told her I didn’t think I wanted to continue. She asked me to PLEASE give it to the end of season 2 and if I still didnt like it, we could find something else. As promised, I did become more interested in S2. The humor was funnier, the acting got better, and the bromance was hotter, and the emotional moments were even more heart breaking. The first episode that left a really big impression on me was Born Under a Bad Sign. Until then, I knew Sam had psychic powers, and his father was worried he would turn dark, and left it on Dean’s shoulders to save him or kill him (good idea John, what the hell) and this episode was probably showing Sam go bad. I didnt want that, I liked the boys and I wanted to like both of them and not have to start thinking of Sam as evil, but he was soooooo creepy in that episode! I was so afraid he was going to rape Jo, fortunately he didn’t, but that “My daddy shot your daddy in the heeeaad” thing gave me the willies! I was so uncomfortable with this “Dark Sam” I thought maybe I couldnt continue. Dawn didnt want me to stop just yet, but didnt want to give me spoilers, she told me “Don’t worry, Sam and Dean are the GOOD guys and Sam is a REALLY good guy” so I continued. When it was discovered that Sam was possessed, I found that very interesting, I didn’t think the boys would ever succumb to the evil things, just kick their asses all the time, though I assumed theyd have their own asses kicked sometimes, I never thought the show would allow the heroes to really suffer.... boy was I wrong huh??  I recall my first noticing that Sam was hot and built like a truck, in Heart, and it was also the first time I really cried. I remember telling Dawn, I will watch it when she comes over but Im watching it on my own too, because now Im much more interested, but I also said “it’s kind of a bummer knowing the boys wont die, that will take away from the suspense and emotional moments when it’s feared they might die, and I remember her giving me this look... she said “trust me, you know nothing”. She was right ... All Hell Breaks Loose 1 & 2 had me sobbing! When Sam dies in Dean’s arms and Dean sobs into his neck, I dont think Ive ever seen such intense, realistic  grief on a TV show. And then Dean goes and sells his soul for Sam!! This turned what I thought was a “My brother is my best friend” love into a “Id willingly spend eternity in fire and torment, to have one more year with my brother” love. That was a big turning point for me. I new Id watch it till the end and couldnt wait for those long days off when I could just binge all day long.  Then Season 4 happened... I dont know when exactly it happened, or which episode it was, but somewhere early in S4, I discovered the most amazing thing. I woke up one day and realized I am madly in love with Sam Winchester! And to top it off, I was hopelessly addicted and obsessed with SPN! I wont give a rundown of how each season hit me, but its been a crazy, emotional, tragically painful, beautful roller coaster that I have no intentions to ever get off of. By the time I got to S9 and started seeing the episodes dwindle away, I didnt want to finish too fast, yet I wanted to keep binging, so thats when I decided to start rewatching. ration out the newer episodes so I dont finish too fast, and binge the ones Ive already seen, and Ive done that continiously since then, and that was in May. By the end of June, I had watched everything on Netflix and purchased all of S11 On Demand and just kept finishing and starting over, rinse, repeat.  What I have learned... I mean no disrespect to Dean, I love him... but, if he ever says “As long as Im around, nothing bad is ever gonna happen to you” ... just RUN!! He said this to Sam in S1 and things just unraveled fast for poor Sam. I dont think there are many bad things LEFT that haven't happened to Sam, and we still have at least 2 more seasons to go!!!  To me, Sam is the most beautiful, kind, selfless, brave character ever. Yet, he can be a little selfish on occasion, but if you needed any of the duct tape and safety pins that hold him together, he wouldnt think twice about giivng them to you. He is scared fairly often, but it’s never stopped him from facing any big bad monster life could hand him.Season 10 was definitely not his most attractive season (that hair?? WHAT??) and if you piss him off, he can viciously sting with his words at the very least, or be brutally lethal with his hands when need be. He is a full on nerd, but not the least bit pretentious about it. He doesnt think he is better than anyone, and maybe even not as good as most. He is brilliant, but wont ever make you feel stupid. He is the sweetest, kindest gentleman you’ll ever meet, but 100% badass as well. But most of all. he loves Dean with everything in his life. He will never leave him (again) for anyone. If he ever finds a significant other, they will have to accept him and Dean as One person. Package deal and thats it.  To me, Dean is a rock. He rarely ever changes, This isn’t a bad thing. This compliments Sam, who is ever changing. Dean doesn’t live inside his head. He expresses his feelings more physically than with words, though he isnt one to mince words if you need to hear it. He’s emotional, not afraid to cry, but maybe afraid of who he allows to see it. He’s not perfect, he has made a lot of poor choices for himself and for Sam as well, but never with any ill intent (other than when influenced by a Supernatural force) He is a sweetheart, who unfortunately carries too much baggage. In Regarding Dean I feel like I met the REAL Dean that is lost under decades of pain, lossm and never ending violence. He can piss me off big time, but I forgive him because Sam does, and the most important thing in his world is Sam. There is nothing he wouldnt do, nor lines he wouldnt cross for Sam, and I believe he would give Sam anything in his power if Sam would simply ask.  What I think of the side characters  Cas, Crowley, Rowena, Bobby, etc.. all good characters who bring a lot of interest to the show, but none are strong enough characters to have their own storylines apart from Sam and Dean. Their side stories arent very interesting. I would watch a show that was only Sam and Dean (which is what I prefer) but I wouldnt watch a show that was only Cas or Crowley or whomever. They should support Sam and Dean and thats it, in my opinion.

What I have learned about the Fandom... Supernatural is the Holy Reaches of Heaven to them and they are Religions. Separate groups of individuals, expressing their love for the show and the characters in different ways. Some SPN religions are open and accepting, and some are vicious and hateful. Everyone gets different things from different parts of the series, but some of these religions, think their thoughts are the best and only True Canon even when sometimes, their thoughts are not canon at all. There are some fun, silly, kind loving fans in the SPN Family, and I have met a few, but Ive also seen some unnecessarily hatefull, mean spirited individuals who I cant consider family. SPN belongs to me, and it belongs to you. Take from it what you take from it... blog your blogs, go meta crazy, ship your ships, and write the shit out of fan fic... but please dont belittle and berate those who think differently. It is a ficitonal show, no one is going to go to Hell or be arrested for their views on it. If you don’t like it, dont watch it, but let those who do still love it, like myself, enjoy it while they can. Don’t go trying to hurt our feelings with “It should end!!” because someday it will, we know this, but we want it to live on for as long as J2 are happy to do it, and even then, it’s gonna hurt like the death of a loved one to see it go, so try to be more considerate okay? If you stayed to read ALL of this, You are precious to me :) and thank you!

[diaryofanaddict31-blog]

Pilot  So I've never ever blogged before but I thought that at this point in my life, it'd be a great thing to start doing. My life's been like a movie, which will be revealed throughout my posts. But a good plot doesn't always make for great reading material, so I actually have useful things to say these days since I am actually doing positive, productive stuff. I am about 2 and a half months clean from a nasty heroin/cocaine/marijuana/pills/ anything addiction and am now living in an Oxford house (a sober living environment) with 6 other recovering addicts. At the moment I'm apart from my two boys and working on getting custody back. How I got to be here is way too lengthy for a post and is more like a novel. It will all be revealed over time, my goal is just to help other people who are in early recovery who are more than likely having the same thoughts as me.   This is something I wrote the second time in detox:      “ That fog, that prick, that glory. The glamour, the tears, the carnage, that mighty hammer. Can I say goodbye to you forever? How will it be when I can't know you? I'll miss you like air, like love, like cake. The bang, the set up, the injection. The cover, the clouds, my mother. So good to me, so serene and tempting. Counting and hoping with doubt dear in the back of my mind. I need the shit but I don't need the shit. Seven days is seven days, seven ways to say goodbye. Seven ways to want to die. Seven ways to wanna to wanna stay high”.

Here are some more journal entries before I got clean

"Ironically, the things i use to fill th emptiness inside are actually pulling me deeper and deeper into isolation,loneiness, and more of the emptiness."7 AM 10/24/2017

9:43 pm "I know I've been needing to change here soon or it was gonna be forced on me. I guess that time is now and I cant seem to face it. Why would a drug addict EVER want to face their problem with drugs?That's why I use in the first place-to ease the feelings of dealing with stuff. Rehab being pushed on me, and I feel like that wont even be able to fix me. I really dont think that is going to fix the person ive become. I went from 0 to 60 in a matter of months. Every day when i wake up its the first thing i think about.The hold has gotten so strong in my mind over just this past year ive just evolved into this....girl i dont' know.I have to stop and get high just writing this stuff down. Its intense. Its the end of the world when i run out of drugs or money....Right now and pretty much all day it just feels like no amount of drugs are enough. Nothing is satisfying my itch. I cant stop."

I don't even know where to begin with my story so ill just tell it as my entries progress. I felt compelled to share my life as Im deaing with my recovery. I'm 2 months clean at this point and can say i definitey wake up happier, i have a little money in my pocket, an actual job and not shaking my booty on a pole for dollars anymore. Yet, I still deal with feelings of emptiness and strong cravings for drugs at some point in the day. I don't want this pain to be in vain. If im feeling this way, then theres bound to be others experiencing the same thoughts and feelings (or lack thereof of feelings). Will these feelings always be there? What is this separation i feel from the world and others sometimes all day everyday? They say if you get cravings and dont use, you're not reinforcing those cravings so eventually they will chill out. Its been over 2 months since ive put a needle in my arm and there's something inside me that refuses to be happy until i'm numb. I mean i can be happy and there are times im actually joyful, yet when things die down and i'm alone or doing something that puts me in my head, i panic inside and wish to God i had a substance to run to. Its like when you have sex on ecstasy, it's ruined when you do it sober. My brain knows that theres something out there that can make me feel unbelievable and leave these thoughts and feelings behind if only for 5 minutes. I tell myself its not that great, look where it  lead me to, im stroger than that and dont  need it. But do i listen? Hell no. Thats the thinking that got me in this place at the beginning. Self-destruction, my other disease. I just want to enjoy what life has to offer without being a slave to STUFF. I have way more fun these days for sure, i put myself around people who don't use and are positive. But sometimes when i just even pass by a gas station or a Wal Mart, it triggers me because ill This was me last year, completely paralyzed with a relentless heroin and cocaine addiction. I think, "I bet there are people copping here right now...damn i wish i were them" I cant be sane. I died from the stuff 4 times which isn't even that much compared to other addicts ive talked to, and even died in front of my 9 year old over Skype one night and scarred him for life im sure. Yet i still miss this stuff like someone may miss an abusive ex. I have to make my mind stop glamourizing the awful lifestyle i was living and accept the fact that i'm no longer that person and to move on.

 My story is seriously fucked up i look back and cant believe i lived through it in every sense of the word. I dont even know the best place to start.

 But its whatever, I mean, I figured out last night whats wrong with me. I'm an in betweener- like i don't want to be doing this sober and clean thing but i have to for my children. All i do all day is crave drugs so badly. I was at a meeting last night and someone said that you have to want to stay clean, you have to do everything in your power to and put as much into it as you put into getting high. And it hit me that I feel im not ready to do this but i'm being forced to grow up and deal with my demons- no drugs included. I met someone last night and we had this amazing conversation and she made me feel so good about myself. Before i couldn't pin point why i still fantasize and dream about getting high but its because i wasn't at a time yet in my life where i was ready to quit. i still have some juice left in me. i guess becoming a dancer and being homeless didnt put me at my bottom just yet but that should be the bottom for anybody. i was selling my soul basically for drugs. it was awful it would make anyone feel some type of way. but it was the only way to support my habit and sometimes even that wasn't enough. my story's crazy my friend last night said it sounded like a movie. Its a movie i didn't want to play the lead role in. ive gone through some crazy awful shit the past 2 years alone. 

 Things are getting more and more interesting by the day, there is never a dull moment up in here.I’ll definitely keep you updated on the craziness. Just know you’re not alone, we’re all in this together.