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xaviers-star-tassel · 1 year ago

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⭐️ sleep, i’m here

✦ pairing: xavier / gn!reader

✦ genre: fluff

✦ warnings: hopefully, none

✦ word count: 1.6k words

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ: you’ve recently had troubles falling asleep. luckily, your sleepy neighbor and partner is there to help

⋆�� ✦ note: this is my first ever fic that i uploaded, so it might not be perfect! i may or may not upload more in the future, depends on how well this will do. i have to thank my friend for finally giving me the kick to actually upload this, because i would probably never post this if it weren’t for them

another sleepless night. turn after turn, no matter what you did, you just couldn’t turn your mind off. it had been like this for over a week. eyes droopy, skin sickly paler than usual. you were a mess with the darkest circles under your eyes.

you couldn’t even think straight. with how tired you were, your performance during missions got sloppy. mistakes, mishaps, injuries. things that were usually rare in your case, were now a daily part of your work. your skin was covered in cuts and bruises, making each squirm against the soft mattress painful.

whenever someone asked if you were doing well, you mustered up the speckle of energy to cover up the exhaustion pulsing within every particle of your body. others seemed to brush it off, even tara asked about your well being less frequently. though, unbeknownst to you, there was one person who was keeping an eye on you, even more than before.

that someone was none other than your partner and neighbor—xavier.

since he was always making sure you were safe, you didn’t particularly found his concern strange. it was nothing out of the ordinary, at least that was how it seemed to you. perhaps it was your sleep deprived mind, because you seemed to be utterly blind to his actions.

whenever your head was close to bumping a corner of your desk when you dropped your pen, his hand was quick to cover it. when you couldn’t keep your eyes open while filing documents, he secretly left a cup of coffee on your desk. your tired mind was making you believe you were slowly losing it at the sight of freshly brewed coffee, as bitter as possible to give you the energetic kick you need. bitter like the one from xavier’s brewing machine, you always thought to yourself as you took a sip, then cringed at the taste.

as you continued to restlessly lie on your bed, not even a blink of sleep coming to you, you tossed your blanket aside to sit up. your eyelids were heavy and sight blurry as tears of frustration welled up in your eyes. you wanted to cry, but you were tired even for that.

oh, how you wanted to steal at least a little of xavier’s drowsiness at that moment. you were sure that your neighbor was now sleeping soundly, while you were suffering in the darkness of your bedroom.

when you dropped yourself back onto the mattress, a sudden ring of your phone tore you away from a total breakdown. without looking, you picked your phone up. your eyes slowly adjusted to the light upon turning it on, and you were met with a message from xavier. huh, speak of the devil.

xavier: Are U awake

you stared at the adorable bunny chat bubble for a good minute. in your astonishment, you didn’t even manage to get bothered by the capitalized ‘U’ in the middle of a sentence like you usually did. your thumbs slowly typed in a short ‘yes’ before sending it, surprising you once more at the speed he read it.

xavier: Come here. Ill leave the door open for U

was he really just inviting you to his place in the middle of the night? why was he not asleep? despite your confusion, you didn’t hesitate to take up on his offer. leaving the last text unanswered, you lazily got up from the bed. with the phone in your hand, and a pair of slippers on your feet, you made your way out of your apartment.

you walked quietly along the hallway, careful not to disturb the neighbors. since he lived on the floor above yours, you found it useless to wait for the elevator. somehow, the idea of seeing xavier fueled you with at least enough energy to walk up to his apartment on your own tired feet, and it took only a minute or two for you to stand before the door, which were in fact opened just for you.

you barged into xavier’s apartment with a quiet step, closing the door behind your back. when the lock clicked, the silver haired head poked out from behind the doorframe of his bedroom. he smiled upon seeing you, silently inviting you in.

with your eyes half closed, you waddled to him. every step you took suddenly felt heavy, as if your entire skeleton was made of steel. the short distance that was the hall of his apartment appeared to be endless to your aching body.

finally, you were standing next to him. your head dropped onto his shoulder, which was something you wouldn’t normally do without feeling flustered. but with how exhausted you were, you couldn’t care less as you closed the small gap between you.

“there you go,” he muttered into the crown of your head, lips pressed against your hair.

your only answer was a low grumble that vibrated from your chest. xavier wrapped his arm around your waist, leading you to his bed. he gently laid you on the left side of the mattress before crawling up to you.

you watched his every move. he made himself comfortable on his side to face you, one arm bent under his head and the other propped against your waist.

the dim light radiating from the lamp behind you illuminated his face, letting you see the worried expression on his face. he studied your features without uttering a word, his warm breath caressing your cheeks. reaching his arm up, he cupped your face. the pad of his thumb rubbed the deep dark circles underneath your eyes, his touch careful and gentle.

“why didn’t you tell me anything?” he suddenly asked, catching you off guard.

you let out a sigh, pressing your cheek against his calloused palm. “i didn’t want to worry you.”

silent chuckle erupted from his throat as he shook his head. his hand slid down from your face back to your waist, expression no longer as tense as it was a second ago.

“you know i’d worry no matter what, right? after all, it was me who was making sure you wouldn’t hit your head against your desk whenever you dropped your pen,” he whispered with a smile.

this revelation had left you surprised. connecting the dots in your brain, all of the images appeared in a clear vision between your eyes. from the freshly brewed bitter coffee to the neat stack of documents that you left scattered on your desk the day before. it was all him. and only now were you realizing it.

“so i wasn’t going insane. thank goodness, i thought that my mind was playing tricks with me,” you joked meekly, huffing a laugh through your nose.

his eyes softened when he heard you laugh briefly, though deep down, he was still worried. how couldn’t he be worried? not once had he saved you from your potential doom while fighting off wanderers within the last few days.

“still, you should’ve told me,” he scolded you, though not very sternly. he didn’t have the heart to be hard on you when you looked like a distressed bundle of drowsiness.

you hummed in acknowledgment. guilt suddenly washed over you that you didn’t notice it sooner, but it was too late to cry over spilled milk.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, glancing into his eyes.

xavier took your hand in his, inspecting the scrapes and small cuts on your fingers and palm. he lifted the hand upwards, letting his lips graze over your knuckles.

“please, don’t apologize to me. you did nothing wrong,” he said softly, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “just… let me know in the future. i don’t want to see you like this.”

the caring tone made you feel slightly emotional, if only you realized sooner just how worried he was.

“i will, xavier. i promise,” you nodded, lips curling into a tired smile.

he extended his pinky finger toward you, smiling while doing so. “then let’s seal the deal. pinky promises shall never be broken.”

you chuckled at the silly gesture, but you complied anyway. your pinky fingers hooked together, holding them right under your chin. only then you realized how small the gap between your faces was. the tip of his nose was merely inches away from yours, his breath fanning over your skin.

your gaze flickered down to his pink lips, the sudden desire to kiss them bubbled within your chest. xavier noticed where you stared right away, making his ears turn faint red. as if he could read your mind, he slowly began to lean in. his deep blue eyes were focused on yours, closing them only after his lips touched yours.

he hummed in what seemed like relief as he melted into the kiss. the world suddenly fell completely still, the only thing that mattered was the tender moment you shared. xavier unhooked his pinky from yours to pull you closer to him, desperately wanting to feel your warmth.

the kiss only lasted a few seconds before you pulled away. thanks to the soft light of the lamp, you caught a glimpse of the reddish dust on his cheeks. you watched as he took a deep breath before relaxing his head against the fluffy pillow.

“let’s take a day off. you must catch up on sleep, even if you’ll sleep for a whole day,” he whispered, his eyes fluttering close.

“is that really okay?” you asked worriedly.

“yes, i’m sure others will understand. now sleep, i’m here for you,” he pressed a last kiss to your forehead before relaxing completely.

the comfort and the heat radiating from his body was slowly but surely lulling you to much needed sleep. letting out a small yawn, you pressed your forehead to his chest. your breathing pattern slowed down, signaling to xavier that you had fallen asleep.

“no matter what happens, i’ll always be there for you. that is my promise to you.”

#love and deepspace #xavier love and deepspace #love and deepspace fluff #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace x reader #xavier #lads xavier #lads x reader #love and deepspace fanfiction #l&ds x reader #l&ds xavier #l&ds #otome game #xavier fluff

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mbti-notes · 4 months ago

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Anon wrote: INFP, 25. Feeling pretty lost in life. After a long battle with mental illness (runs in the family, I'm surrounded by people that as of now don't want to go to therapy and keep reliving the same patterns, hurting everyone who hasn't gone through the process I've - THANK GOODNESS - gone through thanks to therapy and medication), I find myself unemployed, without friends, without money, still studying for my degree (I'm almost finished though) and for the first time seeing things so, so clearly.

I wasted most of my teenage years trying to understand what the fuck was going on in my head, battling anorexia, depression and social anxiety - and the latter still has a big impact on the way I speak to people since words don't come to my head, plus depression really wrecked my memory and it can take a whole 20 minutes for me to remember a specific name that I wanted to bring up in a conversation. I feel like I'm cooked.

I don't hate myself nor I feel like I have low self-esteem; actually, I really like who I am when given the time and emotional space to make my true self and inner creativity shine. I think I could give a lot to people but because of a general lack of understanding of common references cause I was detached from everything most of my life and I've missed them all, I tend to be perceived as cringe/weird/naive/childish and none of my conversations are surviving past the first week.

I'm really trying hard to develop my vocabulary, catching up with tv shows characters or even basic history references, but it feels like a huge toll of notions that I can't possibly internalize in such a short amount of time. These people dedicated years (consciously or not) to common knowledge, their family members had culture and raised them to be curious about the world - I'm only now waking up and looking at the world for the first time, with the intention of developing my social and verbal skills.

Basically I need to step up my life and I don't feel like it's working cause everyone can tell I'm so behind and I'm not up their standards - especially in my age range, and considering my economic state. Whenever they ask "what's your job" or "what's your favorite music genre" and I can't really give them an answer to either, I feel ashamed. I know it's not my fault, I had to survive violence and ignorance growing up and I was never given the time to discover who I am or to become a functioning member of society or even feel "safe" enough to try ANYTHING, so yeah, I do have self-compassion, I guess - but others seem like they don't, and I'm so slow when I speak, I'm so slow when I wanna come up with a joke and in a social setting everyone looks at each other like they think I'm stupid.

Is there any advice you can give me? I know I can make it. I am exactly like everyone else, I can develop the same abilities and have a good future. Am I right? Or is this just some lie I'm telling myself? Am I deluded? Will people always look down on me and avoid me altogether?

--------------------

I'm not in a position to tell you that you're lying to yourself; it's something you need to determine through honest self-reflection. There's nothing wrong with talking yourself up in order to motivate yourself to do better. It's also a good thing to try to focus more on the positive aspects of life, especially when you have a history of getting stuck in negativity or narrow-mindedness. This would certainly help you with Ne development, which should be an ongoing project.

As far as I can tell, the root of the problem you're describing isn't psychological but social. Not everything in life is under our control. In fact, studies have consistently revealed that people are far more influenced by their social environment than they care to admit. You don't get to choose which family you're born into. As a child, you have no say in which neighborhood, city, or country you live in. Yet, upbringing, community, and culture are three major factors that influence the trajectory of your life, everyone's life.

If you're unlucky, you grow up experiencing a painful mismatch of personality and environment. And it is down to luck. You shouldn't fault yourself for accidents of birth. And you also can't really fault the "environment" because it's not really a conscious entity that intentionally sets out to harm people. Although the social environment is created by the people comprising it, it's not within any given individual's power to change or control it. This is why, historically, you see people migrate far from home, in search of better environments with better opportunities.

You're young and, because of your upbringing, you didn't really get a chance to participate properly in the world. This means you haven't really experienced firsthand just how big the world can be. There is such a diversity of people, places, and culture in the world, which I take to mean that there's a place for every person. Somewhere in the world, there's a place that will allow you to be your true self. Somewhere in the world, there's a place that will help bring out the best in you and allow you to contribute the best of yourself.

However, that place may or may not be where you were born and raised. When you feel like you don't fit in despite all your best efforts, it might help to ask whether this is really the place you're meant to be and the people you're meant to be associated with...

I've known a lot of immigrants in my lifetime, so I have taken part in many complicated discussions about how to fit in, culturally. Some people find it easier to pick up mainstream culture as they go, looking up references and remembering them as necessary. Some people like to be more prepared and put effort into studying cultural history. I've had a lot of people ask me for help getting to know western culture's most important artists, writers, books, musicians, songs, movies, and tv shows by decade.

It used to be easier to learn cultural knowledge when media was more centralized. Nowadays, people are more siloed, ironically because of social media. Subcultures abound, appearing and disappearing with short-lived social media trends. In today's chaotic media landscape, trying to keep up with the latest cultural trends isn't really worth the energy anymore because collective memory has become so short. What's the point of remembering a meme or viral event when most people will have forgotten it a month later?

What is one to do when faced with this kind of information overload? There are two helpful strategies that go together:

(1) Narrow Your Focus

One reason people are so interested in cultural knowledge is because culture is an important avenue of self-discovery. Have you ever noticed that when they put together a boy/girl band, they find four or five guys/gals with very different and distinct personalities? They're hoping to ensure that teenage listeners will find at least one band member to relate to on a deeper level. It's a way to cover all the bases and maximize the chances of turning someone into a fan. While it sounds like a cynical and calculated ploy, it's actually an important way for teenagers to learn more about their own likes/dislikes, in contrast to others.

One could argue that the reason we have so many genres in music, movies, tv shows, and literature is because of the diversity of human beings. We're all born with a personality that we express in our own unique way, which means we all have a propensity to like and dislike certain things. As much as I've tried to get into death metal, I just can't seem to resonate with it. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as I'm not out there trying to stop other people from appreciating it. We are all entitled to our personal tastes.

You're hoping that by learning more cultural knowledge, some of those factoids will eventually pay off during a social interaction. But what are the odds that they will? Pretty low because it's too random. Is it really worth the energy spent in remembering all that information only for a small portion of it to come in handy at some random time in the future? Sure, there are people who have a head for remembering trivia, but if you're not one of them, it quickly becomes a waste of energy that could be better spent elsewhere.

But wastefulness aside, cramming yourself full of factoids isn't a good strategy for two reasons. Firstly, when learning is motivated solely by a desire to obtain external rewards (e.g. approval or money), people don't tend to achieve true mastery or genuine appreciation of the subject matter. In other words, it's a shallow way of learning that doesn't help memory retention, as you're finding out. Secondly, doing something just to impress others is basically contorting yourself to conform with other people's expectations. This doesn't help you learn about yourself, quite the opposite, it takes you farther and farther away from yourself, which is why it doesn't feel right.

While we often associate identity formation with adolescence, the fact is that learning about who you really are is a lifelong task. Thus, the question isn't about when you started (early or late), it's more about whether you're using a good approach that actually gets you incrementally closer to the truth of who you really are.

If participation in culture is an important pathway for learning about oneself, what you should be doing is exploring different aspects of culture to learn about potential likes, dislikes, interests, and hobbies. For example, you're not going to know whether you like horror movies until you watch a few. But once you've watched a representative sample of the genre and realize you don't like it, let it go and move onto something else.

It's almost as though you believe you have to know everything so that you can relate to anyone. I don't think this is a good or efficient socializing strategy, unless you love researching and have a great memory. You need to accept the fact that you're not going to be friends with everyone. It's okay that you're more compatible with some people more than others.

To improve your chances of social success, you have to know what you're looking for and how to find it. When you go fishing, you don't just throw a hook in the water and hope for the best, right? You have to use the right kind of bait. In the context of relationships, "bait" refers to the things that attract people to each other. One of the best and fastest ways of connecting with people is through common interests. However, this pathway won't be available to you as long as your interests aren't genuine or you haven't developed them properly.

(2) Prioritize Quality (Over Quantity)

One reason people feel easily inundated with too much information is lack of critical thinking skills. Critical thinking helps you sort through information and evaluate its quality. It's like learning how to quickly spot the rare diamonds amongst the pile of cheap shiny jewels. This also helps with the first point of narrowing your focus.

When you have a better idea of what you like or find intriguing, you open up opportunities to dig deeper and nurture a more sophisticated appreciation of the subject, to refine your tastes. A like/interest (feeling) can be transformed into an edifying intellectual pursuit (skill). But this can only happen if you value learning for its growth potential and not just for the social approval it might bring.

You seem a bit too concerned with how people judge you as a "weirdo". It could be the case that you've met some nasty people. But it could also be the case that you're projecting because you low-key feel ashamed of being "behind" in your development.

There's nothing wrong with being ignorant when it happens through no fault of your own. Nobody comes out of the womb knowing everything and we don't all have equal opportunity to learn what we need to know. It's pointless and illogical to compare yourself to others when you didn't begin life at the same starting line. And being human means having blind spots. Ignorance only becomes problematic when it is willful, that is, a person denies their ignorance and refuses to remedy it with proper learning. Given your motivation to learn, it's clear that you're not stuck in a state of willful ignorance, so there is nothing to feel ashamed about.

On occasion, people come to me asking about a psychology book they've read, only for me to break the bad news to them that it's a terrible book, full of misinformation. Should they then walk away and give up out of embarrassment? I sure hope not. I hope that they would learn to choose their learning resources more carefully.

The trouble with being a newbie is that you don't yet know enough to separate out the good stuff from the junk. To counter this, instead of becoming too reliant on one resource, communicate with a wide variety of people who seem to exhibit more knowledge than you. Eventually, you'll get a better feel for the quality of the knowledge. For example, if most experts are in general agreement, then you've probably stumbled upon trustworthy information. But when nobody can seem to agree on what the "truth" is, then be more careful.

Following from that, instead of slinking away in shame when you're caught not knowing something that seemingly "everybody should know", why not just be honest about not having had the chance to learn and welcome the person to enlighten you? Allow yourself to be humbly schooled. I can't tell you the amount of useful information I've picked up by simply letting people go on and on about their passions and interests.

Doing this could also take a lot of pressure off you, in terms of having the opportunity to: 1) sit back, relax, and listen, 2) learn and absorb information in a more natural setting, and 3) get some valuable tips about which direction to take your learning and where to find quality sources of information to speed up your learning. You might even get inspired to pursue something new and interesting.

The concept of "quality" also applies to people. Every person is a mixture of positive and negative qualities, but some people exhibit more of their negative qualities. When you meet people like that, it is fine to feel repelled and get away from them. But don't then overreact and overgeneralize and believe that everyone is bad.

If the people you're interacting with are truly judgmental jerks, it's better to find out sooner so that you don't end up in a toxic relationship. You truly like yourself? Then wear it proudly. Be open, authentic, and transparent about who you are and the struggles you've been through. Observe how willing people are to accept all of you. This should help you quickly separate out the good from the bad eggs. A good person should be:

empathetic and compassionate

willing to give you the benefit of the doubt

inclined to see and acknowledge the good in you

curious rather than judgmental

sensitive and accommodating, within reason

Every place has its good and bad people, and meeting new people is luck of the draw. When you meet bad people, there's no need to waste time with blame or anger. It's their problem, not yours. Simply walk away and keep looking for good people. And if your social environment isn't overflowing with your kind of people, you might have to migrate to a new and better environment.

Generally speaking, the process of improving yourself and your life goes a lot more smoothly when you know how to tune out noise and keep focused on your main goals.

#infp #socializing #focus #ask

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givemea-dam-break · 2 years ago

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" Hi! Can I request a Lockwood x reader where the reader gets flu and Lockwood looks after them, just really fluff and cute! Thank you "

a/n: for the amazing @nessa-stark, i hope you enjoy! this turned out much shorter than i would've liked, but i think it's still quite cute lol

warnings: mild language gn reader

"When I die, I want chrysanthemums on my coffin. Oh, some lavender, too, for obvious reasons. And maybe cremate me instead of burying me. I'd hate to come back as a Visitor."

"You're not going to die. You've got the flu."

Your body says otherwise. Currently, you're covered in a layer of sweat despite feeling perpetually cold, everything - and you mean everything - aches as if you've been on a very long workout without stretching, and the cough you've had? There's no other way to describe it than it feeling like it shreds your throat every time you cough.

But Lockwood is insistent. It's just the flu and it won't kill you.

"Stay still," he grumbles, bending down to tuck your bedsheets under the mattress and essentially holding you hostage in your own bed.

"I don't like staying still."

"You're telling me."

Through slightly clouded vision, you glare at him, but it's not entirely heartfelt. You appreciate him being here and taking care of you. Really, he'd been going to take a case with Lucy and George while you stayed home and rested, but then you 'took a turn for the worse' and he decided to stay to look after you. Despite feeling like a child when he has to give you medicine or when he's practically spoon-feeding you microwaved soup, it's sort of nice.

It will not prevent your untimely death, however.

"I want you to speak at my funeral," you say, burrowing deep into your pillow. "Say something nice about me, won't you? No mention of that time I punched you after -"

"I think that story holds very true to your character." Lockwood gently brushes hair away from your sweat-soaked forehead, smiling softly. "You punched me because I was being an 'arrogant twat whose head didn't operate right' if I remember correctly. And, besides, you're not going to die. You'll be back to your lovely self in no time."

"You think I'm lovely?"

"Only sometimes. When your mouth is shut."

"Lockwood, you dick!"

You move to lightly slap his arm, but your arms are trapped beneath your duvet. Once more, you glare at him. This is sabotage.

"Such as right now," he says. "You should be resting which means no talking and certainly no assaulting your doctor."

"I'll have you know that talking is one of my favourite pastimes. You've no right to make me stop. As for 'assaulting my doctor', I'm about as close to being related to royalty as you are being a healthcare provider."

One of his eyebrows quirks up, and he picks up a bottle of medicine, watching triumphantly as you cringe at the sight of it.

"Fine. I'll be quiet."

So far, Anthony Lockwood has held you hostage, insulted you, and blackmailed you with the most disgusting substance known to man. His crimes are only increasing by the minute.

"Will you at least lie down with me?" you ask. Your voice is quieter this time, almost shy, despite having nothing to be shy about. The two of you have been together for a few months now. "I can sleep better then."

Lockwood smiles and nods, gesturing for you to shift over. When you do, he lies down beside you on top of the covers, and you curl into his side, resting your head on his chest.

Even though you're ill, it's nice just lying like this, listening to his slow, rhythmic heartbeat and the sound of his quiet breathing. His breaths ruffle your hair a little, which feels funny, but his fingers smooth it down as he gently plays with it. It's getting harder and harder to keep your eyes open.

"Do you think Lucy and George are alright?" you murmur.

"Of course they are. Don't worry."

You hum in response, too wrapped up in Lockwood's warmth and the comfort of his arms to really form any more words.

"Do you need anything?" Lockwood asks, his voice soft and quiet. "More water? Soup?"

"You to be a quiet pillow," you joke. "No, Lockwood, I'm fine. Thank you."

"I thought you were dying?"

"I am. Just more peacefully now. My deathbed has become increasingly more comfortable for some odd reason."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Mm-hmm. Now, be quiet."

Slowly, you drift off into a nice sleep, coaxed on by a soft kiss on your forehead, latching onto Lockwood and, when you wake up, he's still there, sleeping, too.

#lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x reader #lockwood and co x reader #lockwood and co fanfiction #lockwood and co #lockwood and co netflix #anthony lockwood #george karim #lucy carlyle #x reader #fanfiction #givemea-dam-break

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ereyies · 4 months ago

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i love your of mice and men oc. let me tell you i was scrolling thru the omam tag after reading that book for class because GOSH that ending destroyed me. bronwyn is so cute!!! and i love the ideas you have for her character and how she’d add onto the book. is there any more of your character that u thought of?? i’d love it hear it! ur art is stunning btw!!!

artists and writers are the backbone of dead fandoms. but i dont know if you could even call this fandom dead cuz i dont think it even had a life 💀

THANK YOU SO INCREDIBLY MUCH!!

this means the entire world to me you have no idea just how touched i am that you love my oc 💖 💖!! be VERY careful going through the of mice and men tag because unfortunately there are a LOT of nsfw bots!!

as for anything else relating to Bronwyn and her character, I don't have much else written/in mind other than that I have already shared other than maybe two things (copied and pasted from a document i made just to keep track of her lore):

Candy and Bronwyn probably wouldn't be close despite Candy having worked at the ranch for years. Not because of anything bad that happened between them, however I imagine that Candy was initially the main contributor to all the gossip said about her on the ranch and later on he learned she wasn't a bad person at all and just a lonely ill child, but by that point he had both immortalised her as a legend but condemned her from ever making real connections with people again. Knowing what he started and how he unintentionally isolated her and prevented her from being easily able to make friends with people on the ranch, the guilt would probably prevent him from forming any close connections with her.

I feel like if she were actually a character within the novel, her presence within the story would be similar to Andrey Bolkonsky in the musical Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812 (brilliant but strange musical btw, if you're interested in musicals it's definitely worth a listen!!). She is this looming presence amongst all the characters, always being mentioned in passing during conversation, this figure that everyone is aware of yet never sees, never actually being present in person up until the very end.

Candy would probably be the reader's introduction to Bronwyn, since Candy is a known gossiper. She'd be this influence in the story but is never truly there. I'm not too sure how she'd be important if that were the case though? Perhaps she'd be a figure symbolic of a 'point of no return' for all the characters. They all have a dream that isn't totally impossible which they come very close to achieving, and could very well leave their situation, but Bronwyn never had a chance and can never truly escape, locked up just to be forgotten about. Maybe she'd be a warning of the terrible fate which Lennie would have faced if he had lived and been institutionalised.

ANYWAYS moving past all of that; i have only made very few drawings of Bronwyn since my last post talking about her (admittedly due to extreme art block). But I’ve mostly been brainstorming about Curley and Bronwyn, the similarities and differences between them, mostly differences. Here is some of my recent art:

I always love experimenting and playing around with my style, trying out new brushes, techniques and colours <33 The last isn’t exactly my favourite mostly because i was just getting a feel for how to draw Curley and had little to no references for the pose and so it looks a little stiff. But!! I made many notes for my ideas while I was doing the sketch:

Thank you once more for your ask!! It means the world to me <33 I was so embarrassed when I first made her and feared being called ‘cringe’ or that people wouldn’t like her or something else along those lines, but the reception so far has been nothing but positive and encouraging!! I definitely plan to make more art and potentially even write some short fanfics including her in the future!!

oh one final thing, i also made a spotify playlist for her!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0qrBhwqopc6KrC7RouFxOZ?si=GPudTv12S92QwBBXqxw0Bg&pi=khdpmOzjTfeQP

Thank you once more for being so kind <33 I hope you have the most wonderful day/evening/night!!

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shock · 1 year ago

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hey! ik you work at a school and based on how you post about it, you really care a lot about your job and it seems like the kids really like and trust you. i'm about to start a job as a para working 1:1 w/ a middle schooler, and my prior experience is all tutoring college students- do you have any tips on getting kids that age to engage w/ you? im worried ill be awkward around him and he'll think im cringe 😭 would really appreciate any advice u have to give

middle schoolers are developmentally in a place where they are experimenting with independence for the first time. they will test rules, boundaries, expectations. be clear and consistent but not rigid. if you make it integral to your relationship and their success that they tell you what motivates them, they have agency, and that you want to work WITH them, they may not believe that immediately but the more you prove it the easier it will be to know how to support them.

if you know anyone who has worked with this student before, ask about and be ready to filter the information you learn. I ask questions like "do you remember a day that was successful, and how did you get there?". ask "was there a time you felt that you connected?". "What strategies did you find helpful?".

I don't always agree with all of my colleagues in their approach or their view of the kid in front of them, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from them and apply it in my own way. about the same student, I was warned that successful only happened when they were elevated by using a neutral tone and that they will try to trick me so be aware of that. another said that they are very funny and sometimes needs pressure to be grounded- when I suggested a weighted shoulder blanket, she lit up and said "that would be an awesome idea!!". another colleague said that they do very well with expectations given in the form of "If X happens, my expectation is to [action]". I can keep all of these things in mind and also not let them be more deciding than the kid that I will have in front of me.

You have your own style and that can be translated to a lot of ages if you take steps to learn to communicate with them and dont make them feel stupid or inexperienced. I invite suggestions and try to apply their voice as appropriate and safe. I don't make promises I can't keep, and if I can't keep them I am upfront about it. Model integrity and honesty.

Also, because of the rapid development both hormonally, socially, physically, 6th, 7th, and 8th are all WILDLY different. The ways I can talk to my 8th graders about deeply personal social-emotional reflections doesn't look the same my 6th or 7th graders. You'll naturally find out where your student lies in terms of maturity and understanding, and there will be a LOT of growth in a single year.

Kids will accept and grow fond of your cringe if they know you express it in solidarity and from a willingness to learn. Anything will be cringe if they want to haze you for it, including things YOU SEE THEM DOING ALL THE TIME 🤣 I tell my kids all the time that there are things that come naturally to them that amaze me and impress me that I don't know about. I put my kids in positions to be teachers. Being cringe is a natural part of working with kids and its ok to be silly and weird IF you are there for them when it counts. IF you don't patronize, condescend, or talk down to them. They are intelligent, thoughtful, and often know much much more than they ever say. They are extremely resilient. they will genuinely think you are just as likely 17 or 40 years old no matter what age you are. Don't worry about being awkward or cringe, take steps to understand the passions and joys of your students. Be willing to suck at things they excel at. Be willing to play basketball with them even though you suck ass, and ask them how to improve. Be willing to make bracelets that are so fucking ugly they're worth laughing about while they're making 400-braid works of art. Acknowledge when they have skills you aren't familiar with. They will learn to appreciate yours if they know you see theirs.

They don't accuse me of being lame when I act goofy, to them it's just part of who "Mr. Jack" is. I'm not above getting pranked. I'm not above getting razzed on. Im not above getting something wrong. I'm a professional who knows how to navigate systems and wants to share that with them. I explain why things happen. I answer "why" with a genuine, thoughtful response. Middle schoolers always want to know why, and if they don't know why by the time they get to high school because it's been held hostage by people in power, they believe there is no "why". I never say "just because" or "It's the right thing to do". I say what will come out of it. If I ever have to report something happening or have to have another colleague help with a mandated reporting/need help from social work to wrap around, I never just do it. I say things like "you know, X is someone I really trust and respect here. They have more information than I do and I think if we worked together we would be able to really find a solution, can we try to do that". I explain that I will never abandon them or shove them on others or destroy our trust, but I have Profesional obligations and that I will walk through the whole process with them. I have sat in ambulances with kids. I have stayed into the night at hospitals with kids. I have exercised my right to refuse to send a kid home out of an immediate safety concern and updated them the entire time what every call I made was about, what I did and did NOT share, checked in with them... and my worst fear of ruining my relationship with a kid and destroying their trust has not happened because I make sure that the pieces are not moving around them while they are helpless. So much is already out of their control.

I have coached multiple students who admitted to me that they vaped or smoked, and i think this is a good example of applying that mindset: My job isn't tell them to stop because it's bad. My job is to say "look, I'm not going to say what everyone else has told you or pretend that I've never done something that could harm my body. Anything you do, I want you to do research and use that to decide what is worth it." And I share knowledge, we get to the root of it, we talk about the reasons, we talk about the risks. One of my students who smoked nicotine without parents knowing didn't know that it would seriously impact a surgery they had coming up that they had been waiting for their whole life and were excited for. Me sharing that information not with the threat of consequences but with a need for them to understand how to move forward was how we got to develop a plan to quit that was seen through.

Sorry that was a lot of rambling!! Basically work as a team and find ways to come up with strategies together. You can be professional, "in charge", and provide direction without insulting the newly budding agency your middle schoolers are unfortunately learning that they don't have in a lot of environments. Start EVERY SINGLE DAY new. I have bad days and have cried because of how hurtful something was from a student, but I don't let that stop me from greeting them in the morning, or feeling like they have a right to education, or that they can't try to do things differently. They're incredibly impulsive, and you will have an hour long conversation that seems to really sink, and the second you get out of the room they will still immediately do the thing they shouldn't. Over time with consistency they really do change, and it's normal for that to not be always immediate. Days, weeks, years... sometimes you won't even see that growth, and that's really hard, but you have to trust that it will happen.

#Pls Let me know if you didnt want this published!!!! <3

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thetepes · 2 months ago

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You really don't have room to talk since you'll be rude and nasty and make fun of people who haven't been rude to others, too.

Like who? Skeleton-Bat who triggered me on purpose after me giving them good faith for hours? Maybe the second time when they tried to do the same thing to Ant, a friend, and I piped up because I knew exactly what was coming and was able to confront someone who had very thoroughly outed themselves as a racist, ableist, and homophobe?

Faggot-BillCypher who was a Crit Blog like Lily once with similar accusations and their friend who were both drooling over underage incest?

LittlePibble who obsessively stalks the Lily crit sphere to hurl accusations even long after getting context that they ignore because it doesn't fit their trolling narrative?

Or Fennec who not only wildly talked out of their ass, but abused kids in his own right by taking advantage of their trust and stories as victims of multiple people? Who got kids to bully other kids for his own entertainment in his servers?

Oh, no, maybe it was Ludo who was harassing people in their inboxes for months and calling Britt a liar to the point of denying their victimhood and buddying up to a grooming piss rper, which LittlePibble also did with the same groomer, because he thinks Sai was wrong about 1 point in their opinion on Taffer, but only because they can't 100% prove it and he's their IRL friend who'll defend them anyway and admitted that.

Or the one "crit vlog" that suddenly became a vent blog after I noticed them saying dumbshit?

Hell, this isn't even all these idiots have been doing.

I haven't said shit about Starlit and their ripe for going ham on. All I've said about them is the name game is cringe and please keep in mind some of the users in Sai's server are mentally ill and will have feelings about the big brother tactic. I played a little guess who for fun, but in and out of the server I dropped it once it once it stopped being fun because nobody knew, not even Sai.

Or are you defending that freak Birdie? I don't even know what to say if thats the case.

No one I've talked about has been a sweetie pie hands clean person. I thought SKELETON BAT was and you can fucking scroll back and look at how I was handling that situation. I got bodied by trying to be vulnerable with someone I thought was to caught up in their own feelings and I'll admit that.

If you're inferring Lily is a person who doesn't insult people though that's hysterical.

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inact-ice · 3 months ago

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Final thoughts on 911 season 1 now that I’ve actually watched it all:

- Abby was my favourite character of this season! Which really surprised me because Buck is like the exact type of character who’s usually my favourite (goofy with a lot of dark trauma and insecurities that they hide with jokes, himbo, bisexual coded), but the episode where Abby’s talking to her brother and she said that being a daughter and being a saint were the same thing really endeared me to her (eldest immigrant daughter core). I liked her relationship with her mom a lot too, I love how much they loved each other but how the show wasn’t afraid to show how putting all the care of someone struggling with an illness like that onto one person, can be so difficult and isolating for both people in that kind of relationship. I also really loved how dedicated she was to saving people, like I kept calling her Batman even though calling her the Oracle would have made more sense lol. Again, need the spinoff show where Abby’s just travelling the world and solving crimes!

- I cried when she left because I know from the fandom that she’s gone forever (for the most part) and that she ghosts Buck so we never even hear her voice again ugh

- I think Bobby’s arc was my favourite, it was very nice to see him heal, then backslide a bit, then get back up and keep trying. Bathena was also my favourite relationship even though it only really showed up at the end, but they’re just so cute together

- Favourite episode was episode 7 because of the way they tied together the emergencies, it was so well done and showcase of writing talent that I’m excited to see more of! Also this is when Abby solidified herself as Batman to me, she yearns for justice and the streets of Gotham I fear.

- episode 7 is also the episode with my favourite emergency of the season, the one with the gay couple where one of them had a tapeworm! They were so funny, and honestly so was everyone involved in the scene. Buck sharing his gym bro dieting tips made me laugh so hard, and Bobby just being over it was hilarious! Despite being surrounded by other pretty dark emergencies, it didn’t feel jarring!

- my least favourite arc was the hen cheating arc, I already knew they were gonna get back together and it would never be mentioned again, and it was just not fun to watch at all. Plus Hen took over w/ the intro monologues for Abby during this arc, which cut into our already limited Abby screen time, to make metaphors about cheating on her wife. UGH!

- my least favourite character was probably actually buck (gasp!). I liked him, don’t get me wrong! But a combination of the intense second hand embarrassment he gave me at the beginning of the season and my intense overwhelming love for Abigail Clark, just made me enjoy other characters more. Sometimes I felt that he was a little too immature for her, or he’d say things that would make me cringe

- my favourite scene overall was the scene where bobby was helping buck tie his tie, and he told him he looked handsome, and they were just joking around with each other! It was so cute, such an adorable father-son moment that showed some of the growth they’ve both gone through to be able to be in this situation and interact with each other like that. Ugh just so cute, will be reading more buck and bobby father-son fics THANK YEW

- my least favourite scene was of course the scene where buck is assaulted by his therapist because what the fuck was that.

- I also really hated when everyone not only thought that Buck would cheat on my beautiful wife Abby Clark, but they were also just kinda chill with it??? It felt so weird and callous?? And kinda ooc bc they yelled at him when he was single and just slanging it, but now that he’s in a relationship they think it’s none of their business?? It was so weird, and it would have been my least favourite episode if we didn’t get that awesome closing monologue to Florence and the machine from Abby at the end, which made me cry btw

- and also if the first couple of episodes weren’t kinda rough, the season got better the later we got into it, then peaked at episode 7!

All in all, I really enjoyed this season and I’m glad I decided to stop being a fandom lurker and finally watch it! Very excited to start watching season 2 whenever I get to it, because this is the season where Maddie and Eddie enter right? And Christopher!! I predict that Maddie will probably be my favourite character of the season, bc of eldest daughter solidarity and bc from what the fandom has told me she’s literally the coolest ever

- wait i lied, Athena’s mean gay husband is my least favourite character! He just lacks so much tact and has said some things to Athena that were so damn mean! I don’t think either Athena or her husband handled that whole arc well, but sometimes her husband said stuff that was like especially cruel and unwarranted. But Bucks’ still my least favourite main character sorry!

#911 ramblings #911 season 1 #911 spoilers #Abby Clark my beloved #this show has set up and developed this found family thing so well #very excited to see how they all grow into loving each other even more!

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lanternlightss · 7 months ago

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for the ask game LOOP🫵🫵🫵

(ask game)

HEHE BINGO !!

i am so. so normal about them (<- utter complete lie)

(Also putting the rest under the cut bc it got a bit too long !! oops !!!!)

LOVE their hypocrisy. LOVE their duality. they care so much it physically pains them, they don’t want to really be here but where else can they go ?? back to their party ? back to their world ??? the world they Left ??? destroyed ???? that bridge has burned and they keep kneeling by it hoping.... maybe ……..

but they made their wish. there’s no going back.

god i love how they try to act aloof and distant, especially with the party and their names. fighter. researcher. housemaiden. the kid. these aren’t mine (but how they wish—no, pray, they were) and i will continue to be reminded of and remind .. this traveler, this me, as such !! but !!! they were so distraught !!!!!!!! when the party !!! Did Not Recognize Them !!!! this party whom they threw Everything Away for because they loved them so much !!!!!!!!! this party who they went through Continuous, Multiple loops, because they didn’t want to leave them, truly. And Now They’re Here, and worried, but not for them. not in this time. even after everything. (I Want So Badly to see how the party would react to being told that oh. yeah. btw. thats another siffrin !! your friend a few steps to the left !!! and the time loop they were in Was Even Worse !!!!!!)

and GODDDDDD THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH SIFFRINNNNNNN. i think about loop’s reaction to siffrin saying “you’re me.” such a completely normal amount. the laughing. sure, yeah! i’m you. and you’re me, and i hate it, that you’re right so soon like this. that i have to watch another person fall like i did. but they can’t let him burn. they can’t. it’s too much. you deserve so many things, but you don’t deserve for the stars to turn you inside out, one of us getting that fate is already enough !! keep going !!!!! AND HOW THEY COULDNT BRING THEMSELF TO KILL SIFFRIN ??? HELLO. even though they were shimmering with rage, that they get the wrong end of the stick each time, isn’t that funny, that the script always calls for a back up !! for a mistake !!!! for someone To Take It From Them !!!!! but. BUT !!!!;!;!(. THEY GOT ATTACHED. they looked in the mirror too long !!!!!! if i think about the interaction where siffrin is spiraling and loop gently pokes their hand and says, “you’re real. you’re here.” one more second longer i will EXPLODE. because . god loop and siffrin make me ill. you get to look at yourself from another view, to see them in each and every spotlight no matter how bad or good, and you realize… you can’t really hate them like this. you can call them all the words you think of yourself in your head but your heart isn’t in it. they are such a fake idgafer this star would break down instantly if someone gave them a hug they are a WET CAT that keeps striking out of fear (stares so intensely at the act 6 fight)

anyways. i love it when loop tries to self sabotage. especially when there is so much evidence otherwise to what they are sabotaging. you don’t want another siffrin around …… loop when was this ever said to you. join the found family rn please. did you See how much siffrin was interested in the cautionary tale diary ?? to have another you to lean on ??? who knows how big of a hole you dig yourself and sighs, but gets a shovel to join you and pull you out ?? there is not a force on this earth that will keep you from being loved no matter how “horrible, disgusting” you think you are. i also think it’s incredibly funny that they are coping with all of this by being an “ohoho!” bit of an asshole. who are you impersonating. the loop original of, “wow, that was kinda cringe of you, stardust!” i am shaking them so vigorously.

i hope loop is okay wherever they are after post game <3

#honestly for as vocal as i am about wanting loop to join the party #(and what an absolute mess and a half that would be as everyone tries to adjust) (<- AFFECTIONATELY)#one of their best options …. is to just. Get to rest. genuinely after all of that #A …. A ………..#ANYWAYS THANK YOUUU this got so long OOPS #lantern replies #mutuals !

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lordoftablecloths · 2 years ago

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vent post i guess i dont know i just wanted to write stuff down instead of just go ing to bed and crying over it you can just scroll past it

im fine im sane im noramal im so unbleiveably cringe ,, the only person i have irl- fuck, or even online for that matter- to show the dumbass things i write is my silly little dumbass younger brother who doesn;t understand what im trying to get at and i guess its not his fault, i seriously doubt he's spent unhealthy amounts of time making various short scenerios in his head about charcters he came up with and eventually trying to give them a story and write little things about them in google docs because where else am i supposed to put this and its just ,, he doesnt know wht im trying to do and i dont know how to explain it to him because the "history" i gess behind it is so fucking complicated by now that these characters arent even the same characters as they were when i originally created them, other than some physical attributes and their names and he just knows them as the random cringe shit i made up in middle school but so many years have passed by now that these stupid fuckers whose only purpose to serve is to make me stop remembering that i exist and ive gotten too attatched to them because who else was i supposed to get attatched to when i was going through an identity crisis at the time- and, quite frankly, still fucking am- and it was so much easier to pretend i dont exist and just project my flaws and insecurities and underlying subconcsious thoughts into these charactes that no one knows about except me and oh god im just created a long ass vent post on tumblr that no one's going to read and no one understands the story behind fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck whatever ill go ahead and post this unfinished thing because no one's going to get it either way ill probably delete it later if it doesnt get buried under reblogs

dont think too much about this i just got sad because my brother was giving me a bunch of criticism on an outline of a story i was working on- which is fair, i need to take criticism- but he only knows the characters in it as their semi-formed cringe versions so i chickened out half way and now i feel bad because i was really proud of this thing for the whopping span of like one day before i decided to show it to another human person instead of letting it rot away inside of me like i usually do and now i feel bad about my writing skills

im trying so hard to just take his words with a grain of salt because this kid does not have nearly as much experience with writing as i do, but i feel like im copying too many of my inspirations (DnD, generic fantasy story about defeating evil creature, silly tropes, etc,,) which sucks because that was just like the first two pages of the outline and theres nine fucking pages and like the second half of it was what i put the most effort into and i felt like the ideas were really origianl but i could make myself let him naturally get to that part of the outline because i was starting to feel really bad and wieerd and oh god he is looking at ideas i havent ever expressed to another human person even though i am very familaiar with because i came up with them and they havebeen in my head for at least a year or two by now and have been haunting me ever since so instead of skipping ahead to the parts that were really good in my opinion but would have made no sense without context i just told him to piss off i gues s

i dont know. i feel dumb. i feel stupid. ive put so much effort into this stuff and the concept that ive been wasting my time feels like too heavy of a weight to handle. god none of this porbobably nmakes any sense ,,,,,,,,, i guess this is why i feel miserable when the fanart and shitpost memes i post get a comically larger audience and attention than the art relating to my silly goofy ocs, because these stupid fucking characters are all thats keeping me going . call me cringe, but is it still cringe if the concept that maybe i too can be around people that love me and instead of having to like me in spite of my faults love me for them keeps me from fucking killing myself is it still cringe?

if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does its fall even make a sound? (shit piss fuck sorry i dont remember the original quote and all i can remember is tha t one line from that one musical i dont remember what it was)

if an autistic moron that cant even talk to a cashier without having a panic attack makes a universe full of fictional characters of his own cfreation then an alternate universe, then several alternate universes, then a spin off from that original universe and etc etc but its all just on google fucking docs and no where else except deleted excerpts from a dead wattpad account, did he ever even create anything at all?

its pointless. its all so fucking pointless. its a waste of time. why do i do this at all. its so fucking pointless. it makes no fucking sense. you cant just make a story with characters in it, then make a fucking fantasy au of that universe with the same characters but with different designs and wildly different personalities and then make a whole fucking complicated lore-filled story about the fantasy au version while the original universe's story is still left mostly unfinished like forget about a first draft of the text i havent even finished the first ddraft of the outline yet buckarooooooo

okay fuck you guys thats all i want to tell you im going to go pretend to myself to try to go to sleep and then cry now

#vent #i guess #sorry for saying fuck you guys yall are the only keeping me together and making me feel like i have any importance at all #long post

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sociallyawkward--fics · 7 months ago

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HEY BACK AGAIN. idk how long its been cuz mobile is trash but me n my friend were talking abt how we were in a lot of the same fandom spaces as kids. Sanders sides being one of them. n i was like..... Long shot but do u know sociallyawkward--fics.. n at first they were like no i dont think so.. but then they looked u up n went OH MY GOD YEA??? ill send u a screenshot off anon but i told them we were friends n they said it was like finding out i knew a celebrity LMAO -H (ironic considering theyre prob more popular on ao3 than u😭 they briefly turned back into a 12yo fanboy)

its still so crazy to me ive known u for so long n met him like 3-4 years ago worlds collide ..... Also u can post this though im off anon if u want idc -H

ALSO. since im here. idk if i ever told u my age but when i sent my first ask to u i was probably 11. maybe 10 even. im turning 18 in a couple months now. its hard to bring myself to read some of the asks (ok most of the asks) i sent u over the years bc i was an incredibly anxious and awkward autistic kid. But u always treated me with so much love hahakjs at the time i was rly struggling n had very few friends n AS MUCH AS IT MAKES ME CRINGE TO LOOK BACK ON u were honestly the only older person i could talk to n it rly meant a lot lol. im so much more confident n comfortable in myself than i was all those years ago n ik i dont send u asks nearly as frequently anymore but tbh even if eventually its only once every few years ill always think back on u so fondly n gratefully. Neway i literally hate being sappy so ill shut up here but yeah. Thanks n such -H

ALSO IDK IF UR ACTIVE ON AMY SOCIAL MEDIA RLY?? BUT IF U R I CAN GIVE U SOME OF MY SOCIALS mostly i just tweet abt my day occasionally on twitter but i also have a sideblog where i post art. just thinking that maybe then i wouldnt have to be like 'and heres a quick summary of the past 8 months' n u could check up on me whenever instead of only seeing me when i send asks😭 -H (its also so less formal cuz when i send in asks u Gotta respond whereas if i post 'just ate a kickass burger' u can just. Like it. idk idc either way but lmk ^__^)

-----------------------------------

I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ANSWER THESE FOR MONTHS SINCE I'VE BEEN USING TUMBLR AGAIN AND MY LACK OF OBJECT PERMANENCE HAD ME KEEP FORGETTING I AM SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭

dkjfhkdhf omg that is so wild that you have a friend who also knows about me dkjfhdsf Sanders Sides (back when it was waaaaay smaller of a fandom lol) was the first (and tbh only, really) fandom where i had any real level of "popularity" as a fic writer, and i fed off that high for SO LONG lol -- hearing that people were obsessed with my work, both then and now after the fact, is genuinely so surreal dfkjhdjkfh like. i am just Here, i am just Some Dude who wrote some words that got them weirdly popular at 17-18 dkjsfhdkjfh (also cuz i try to gather all your asks into one post, you continue to remain anonymous just cuz i copy-pasted them into the post in the same order they were received lol)

Dude it is CRAZY that you are almost 18 (or, by the time i am finally managing to answer this with my Bad Brain Powers procrastinating it so long, already 18) -- I looked back and I was 18 when you sent your first ever ask to me dkjfhdf that's so wild. I am so honored that you saw me as an older person you could come and talk to, even if it was just through anonymous tumblr asks for the past 6+ years lol. I always think of you fondly too, and I am so proud of you for the way you've grown up and grown into your confidence

ALSO YOU CAN TOTALLY SEND ME YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA djfdjdsjkf you can absolutely send me any of your socials!!! I know your main blog because you've sent some asks without it (have I ever remembered to follow it??? I meant to but I can't remember, this is also a Brain Forget-y Accidental Procrastination thing), but I would LOVE to see your art sideblog and def feel free to send me your twitter!! I have not opened my twitter in like. 3 months, because i was having Unhealthy Habits so i tucked the app into a pocket out of site and stopped using it for a while, but I am doing better now and would definitely open it back up more often again to see what you were up to

Also!!! You can always feel free to DM me on any of my blogs/sideblogs here on tumblr, too! You don't have to wait to send an ask (though I love receiving asks from you, don't ever feel like you have to stop even if we connect elsewhere!), you can always DM me on any of my blogs (or on any other socials we may exchange, too!)

#ask #anon #H anon #my kids are all growing up 😭😭

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thebean-17 · 10 months ago

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I sometimes wonder if anyone has a strong aversion to something when you are demanded to do something but internally you really don't want to do it and you get annoyed with that person because they demanded something from you?

For example, I love sharing my art with people and I view it as a hobby and something I like doing for fun here and there, but here's the catch, ever since I shared my art, I have more and more people telling me I "should" sell my artwork. Granted, it's not ill-intended but when I get told I "should" do it and they give me a list of how I can get started without me ever asking for such a thing, I end up hating my hobby because of it. I cringe, tense up, get annoyed (even with a cheery and friendly smile), and constantly view my hobby as a job now.

They'd give me suggestions, ask if I do commissions (I don't do commissions because ultimately it's a choice but I love having the freedom to do what I create and communicate to others rather than being a shadow, but I know that's not what commissions are about), sites to go to when it comes to selling my work, etc.

Overtime, it builds up and up and I feel burnt out. This hobby of mine no longer feels fun and it feels rather stressful. Rather it be something I enjoy, I am doing for other people and not for myself anymore. It feels as though it takes away my autonomy as a human being and I now have to worry about what others will think of it rather than how I think of it. What would make the piece sell rather than just doing something I enjoy regardless whether it's on trend or not.

Now, it might not matter to them. It's not like I am forced to do these things, to sell my art, etc. But in my mind, the implication does not matter or the lack of thereof. And it's not like these people intentionally made me hate my hobby, absolutely not, but that pressure and demand, the suggestion, the unsolicited advice is what makes it feel stressful. Now my hobbies aren't the only area that I have this issue. It can go with anything.

And keep in mind, it's not laziness or procrastination, and although it looks like that on the outside, internally it feels much more different than that. I actually want to do these things, but since they have been "demanded" and or pressured from me, I no longer want to do it.

#vent #is this a possible sign to something?#I'm not the only one right?#please no negativity #random #gotta love capitalism amirite?

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drowninginredink · 1 year ago

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If ur not up for your blog to become a discussion hub you can delete this ask but notthatalex' analogy of "but for some reason, people are really scared to roast you, excluding you entirely from that dynamic" I don't think quite makes sense. Within a friend group there Will be healthy boundaries. So therefore there should be some too when we joke to an audience. People roast and joke their friends because they know each other, have given the ok and know they dont hold ill will - if that isn't the case there's a clear problem that should be ideally addressed! Comedians like the ones in Smosh have a platform which I think is ok to demand it to be used responsibly. There's a difference in making a joke where the punchline is "get it ? it's a gay guy, that's funny on its own" and making a joke that happens to include gay guys/their experience for example. Also as much as we want them to, jokes can't exist in a political void. It's already been well documented that memes, jokes, comedy can be absolutely used as a propaganda tool and that some "jokes" are actually meant to represent the creator's political stance. A good example from not too long ago is Sacha Baron Cohen who lately appeared in the news for his Zionist beliefs, while he's built his career around making fun of "arabs" that people have been giving him the benefit of the doubt for for years saying it's "satire".

I mean my intention was never to be a discussion hub, but only because I never expected anyone to care enough about what I have to say to send me asks. So sure, let's do this!

But yeah, I would say I'm a bit more in favor of restricting comedians than Alex, but I think what you're saying is kind of misreading him. He made it pretty clear that there are good jokes and bad jokes you can make about anything. And my biggest opinion is, aside from the fact that yes, "I'm a gay guy and that's funny on its own" is problematic... It's also not funny. If you ask me, the biggest thing that makes something funny is surprise. And bigoted jokes are hacky. They're not creative. "Haha this group is bad/weird" is a thing we've all heard before. It's not unfunny when my family makes a joke about Chinese people eating dogs because it's racist, even though it very much is, it's unfunny because I've heard that joke a million times.

But I think the friendship example is actually perfect because roasting a friend requires knowledge of said friend beyond hacky stereotypes, so it's going to have to go beyond easy bigoted jokes. Again, I do agree with Alex in the sense that you can joke about anything, but you've got to do it well. And again, bigoted jokes just aren't funny. They're all overplayed. The only reason people find them funny is because they agree with them.

And yeah, it does suck to be the person in the friendgroup who feels like they're being treated with kid gloves. It's all about knowing people's lines. I know seeing the TNTL roasts of Angela made me so uncomfortable at first because I basically am Angela and the particular points they were hitting are things I'm super sensitive about. So if I were her, I would have felt like absolute shit. And then I saw her say how much that made her happy because she felt seen, and how it meant so much to her. And that's made me actually really embrace that view of it and encourage my friends to roast me like that. Because you know what? This is who I am, and I do want you all to see me in my cringe glory. Because being cringe is a good thing. So like, to me, that's what Alex is saying. You've got to know the lines, but imagine how it'd look if they never went after Angela.

Also I don't exactly keep up with Cohen, but I have seen... Whatever the name of that movie was over my brother's shoulder and needless to say, it was a yikes and I don't know how we let anyone who made it say he was at all progressive. I mean, to be fair, of course it was a yikes. If my dad likes a thing, that's always a red flag.

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veilk · 2 months ago

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see i really really want to work on 404 because i have so many solid ideas and it's an actual project that i genuinely want to do something with but that requires me to work on it and without hyperfixtion driving me that is never going to happen. extremely unfair

anyway incoherently listed 404 fun facts under the cut. for anyone curious. it is cringe but i am free. and this is my blog i can do whatever i want

404, for reference, is a game concept i came up with earlier this year. it started as a very loose danganronpa fan project but over time it's become less and less actully influenced by danganronpa and more its own standalone thing. currently the only real similarities i plan to keep are people dying terribly, people trapped in some sort of Game, and each person having a Role to play.

genre is psychological horror. includes heavy themes of unreality

the cast is comprised of a bunch of 18-22 y/o nobodies who can barely remember who they are. they are each given a role to play, which is intended to substitute their missing identities. some roles given fit vaguely, some are nonsensical, and some make you feel ill for reasons you can't recall. reactions to this are explored in depth

related to the last point, the cast are characters, and are treated as such, even in-universe. they are being played with like dolls and they are fully aware of it. they can also do nothing about it, though they try and fail anyway

something is wrong about the place. and things become progressively more wrong as the story goes on. like, physically impossible type wrong

something i have in mind that i would be keeping a secret if i had any faith i'd fucking do anything with this project within the next five years is while there are windows in the building, looking out them gives you no information as to where you are. all you see is black, a void. the cast comes to the conclusion that they're covered somehow. the main character, throughout the game, has a tendency to look "out" of them while they think to themself. there are many scenes where they wonder what's on the other side, wonder what's outside in general, especially with the... interesting architecture of the building they're in, etc. then, eventually, in a bright white half-constructed room they are (seemingly?) not supposed to be in, they find a door. this door leads to an impossibly large, impossibly dark room. you find a window on the wall behind you. you can see through it completely fine

i've been tempted to go for the route of no one in particular has put them in this place, the place itself is just, on some level, alive. i'm unsure about this because i never figured out what i'd actually do with this concept

none of the characters have canon names or appearances beyond their roles and very short and vague descrpitions. this is partially because i did not want to come up with either of those things and partially because i do think vibes-wise it would rule. game would be primarily text based because there is no way in hell i am ever going to be able to make the assets needed for an entire vn. that's fine though text based games rule

i have like four separate drafts of the prologue coded in ren'py

i'm me, so, lots of themes of mental health. most of the characters are a wreck. i would get into that here but i would be here for an hour and i don't have the time for that. i can get more into individual character concepts later if anyone is. interested? for whatever reason. shrug.

because no one can remember their names and are only given roles, many roles of which are very long, one very well meaning character came up with little nicknames for like. half the cast. and so our main character, the taxidermist, is unwillingly referred to as "taxy" the entire game because the nicknames ended up sticking

okay i don't have the time to keep dumping lore. enjoy. or don't. shrug

a special kind of hell is blorbofying your own oc from your oc project that you dont have the energy to actually work on at all

#voidposting

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sukirichi · 4 years ago

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Hello! Can you write one about Nanami where the reader is oblivious and they're really close to Gojo so he gets jealous often. Sometimes Gojo does things purposely to annoy him and one day he just lost his composure and accidentally admitted his feelings for you.

I hope u accept if you're not too busy. Thank you!!!

— a little push

— sometimes all nanami needs is a little push.

nanami kento x fem! reader

thank you for the request anon! i’m not sure if reader is oblivious enough but i hope you like it! there’s some thick pining here hur hur, i hope you like it! i never knew i needed an easily flustered and awkward nanami in my life also this is unedited as usual

check my bio for masterlist and my milestone event! (◕ᴗ◕✿)

“Do you mind?”

Nanami sighs, silently praying to the heavens you wouldn’t hear the way his heart is absolutely panicking and beating wildly right now. You’d randomly pushed him inside the teachers’ office the moment he got back to the institute at work, and now he’s doomed to hide his feelings while you look up at him with wide, innocent eyes, a shaky yet excited grin painted on your face.

“Sorry, sorry,” you wave your hands in front of you, although he can tell you’re not apologetic at all. Nanami clears his throat when you step backwards to give him space, unsure if he’s happy or sad about the distance. “I was just really excited to see you back.”

Your carefree, lighthearted voice, along with that little jump in your toes combined with your statement – you’re basically asking Nanami to shrivel up already.

The stoic man remains composed, though, only shifting to adjust his tie while he stares down at you. You’re still somewhat bouncing on your feet, teeth biting your lip – a habit you had when you want to say something but contemplating whether you should. Tilting away to hide the slight flush in his cheeks, Nanami sighs again, pretending to be tired.

The last thing he wants to admit that even though he is exhausted from work, is that you’d never bother him. In fact, having you bombard him like this makes him feel like he didn’t deal with special grade curse by himself all alone just an hour ago.

“If there’s something you want to say, I suggest you get it over with. I don’t want to stay overtime and wait until the blindfolded creep comes around.”

You giggle at his insult, hiding behind your cupped palms. Crap, Nanami looks away and focuses on the birds outside instead, suddenly finding them so interesting despite never paying attention to them before. Maybe that was the curse of crushes – it had people acting differently and in complete contrast with their behavior.

“About that,” you begin almost shyly now, and Nanami practically bursts when he sees you tapping both of your pointer fingers together, gaze tilted away from him.

It makes him wonder you’re nearly on the same skill to Gojo, yet still somehow look like a small, innocent being that makes him want to protect you from everything – even if you were more than capable of handling things yourself. Well, Nanami concludes to himself, maybe you’re really just that paradoxical that it makes sense why he can never think straight around you. Maybe he’s really not supposed to understand the complexity of his feelings when you were a phenomena to begin with already.

“You see…Satoru asked me out.”

Nanami stiffens at your statement for a split second before his head whips to you so fast. You’re observant – of course you are, you’re a jujutsu sorcerer – and you easily pick up in his sudden change of demeanor. Your brow raises at his abrupt reaction, to which Nanami conceals by flexing his neck and rolling his shoulders back.

“I am simply tired from work,” he haf-lies, “So, Satoru asked you out? Will you say yes?”

His words and tone are monotonous, almost bored even, but deep inside he’s so close to beating the crap out of his co-worker. Well, not really, Nanami isn’t a man of violence, but he’s jealous. Of course he is – he’s liked you ever since Principal Yaga hired you.

He’s never told Satoru about his little crush on you. He would be stupid to do such; Satoru would tease him to no end and maybe even be as childish to go as far as pushing him to you. Typical elementary shit, Nanami cringes to himself, watching as you look down at your feet with a pout. Now that confused him. He isn’t sure what your body language means at all, but patient as ever, Nanami only waits.

“Well,” you scratch your forehead, “I’m really flattered. I want to say yes because Satoru is a nice guy—”

“He is not. I do not respect him.”

You roll your eyes at the way his eyes darkens, “—but also I’m not sure if I should. I mean, Satoru doesn’t really date, you know? He’ll be with like one girl and be with another the next week. I just don’t want to…like, fall for that, I guess. Not that I won’t, because he’s totally not my type—”

“It’s just a yes or no,” Nanami cuts you off, his words coming out a lot harsher than he intends it to be. It’s not that he’s annoyed at your rambling, he actually finds it so adorable when you get so lost in your train of thoughts that your mind just travels from one place to another, and seeing how your eyes just leave farther from reality is something he’s always find such an attractive quirk, but not now – not when his infuriating co-worker is intending to mess with your feelings. “Do you want to go or not? Yes or no? It’s as simple as that.”

You blink back at him in surprise, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that Nanami was a no-bullshit man who hit things right on the head, a huge contrast to your happy-go-lucky self, but he’s right.

It is that simple – and you’re complicating things all over again.

When you give him an answer, Nanami has to muster all his energy to not deflate. He’s tired – but now his exhaustion and even the heartbreak comes crashing down all over him that he’s immediately weighed down and overwhelmed – so much so that all he wants is to go home.

“Yes, I want to go.”

It’s his day off.

Like everything else in his life, Nanami plans everything down to the last minute of his day. His day off consisted of him having the privilege to sleep in until 8am, then breakfast with coffee from that great café a five minute walk away from his apartment, then he’ll be reading books in his study for two hours. Comes after that is lunch, and he’ll brows through some TV shows, pick up his clothes from the dry cleaning, get that special limited edition dinner of his favorite sushi, read books again and call it a day.

Simple, peaceful, no hassle – it’s the perfect day to relax.

Except it isn’t.

Because it’s your day off too, and you’re out on a date with Satoru. He still remembers how happy you looked then upon accepting the white haired man’s invitation, your nimble fingers wrapped around his sleeve as you shyly asked him to come with you.

He doesn’t know why you had to bring him, but he doesn’t question it, nonetheless. Nanami wants to see how Satoru would react, if there could be any indication from the man behind his blindfold that he had ill intentions. Oddly enough, there didn’t seem to be any. Satoru only beamed and deflated into a chibi, enthusiastically nodding along with you while you planned your date together.

Nanami took it upon himself to leave.

With a silent scoff, Nanami placed his dinner down on the counter. Because it’s his day off – and mostly because he doesn’t feel like himself – Nanami went out to buy the limited edition sushi wearing a white shirt and some gray sweatpants, too forlorn and a little jealous to even bother dressing up.

It’s stupid, really. He’s been looking forward for this sushi for a long, long time, but now that he’s had it, he can’t even enjoy the taste. His mind keeps going back to you.

Were you having fun with Satoru? Were you enjoying your time? Was Satoru treating you well? What was Satoru’s intentions when it came with you? The last time Nanami checked, you and him got along really well and you’re mostly the one who whacks the taller man in the head upside down when he’s being stupid, almost like two peas in a pod, except you were the smarter one. He’d been so sure you’re nothing but friends and yet…it all lead to this.

Nanami pushes his sushi away. They no longer taste like anything, the texture like dried paper on his mouth. He wipes his lips with a napkin, staring longingly at well…nothing. His walls were plain and empty, and suddenly, Nanami can’t help but compare himself to Gojo.

You both planned to go to the local carnival. There’d be lots of foods and even parlor shops, ferris wheel rides and photo booths to create memories. Of course you and Satoru would go there; both of you enjoyed loud, bustling crowds, claiming there was something amazing about basking in the “lives of humans when ignorant of curses” while Nanami prefers his peace and silence.

Had you gone out on a date with him instead, Nanami can’t guarantee he’ll be any fun. He most definitely wouldn’t ask you to go to a carnival with him either. It was loud, cramped, crowded, and it’s too chaotic for him to ever enjoy your presence and enjoy it alone.

Nanami closes the sushi box, turns on the TV and lets is play on the background, a wet towel above his eyes to relax his tired eyes.

He hopes you’re having fun. He hopes Satoru is treating you well. Nanami just ignores the slight pain in his chest when he thinks of you, laughing and touching anyone but him, and he could picture it already. You’ve always been so open and welcoming to everyone, he knows you’ll have fun today, too.

That’s one of the things he finds most endearing about you – that your smile never fades and you never forget about the simple, little things in life to focus on to keep your sanity after facing curse after curse.

He’s fine, he tells himself. Satoru may be annoying, but he knows you could have fun with him, and you deserved to be happy more than anyone else.

Nanami is about to fall asleep on his couch when his phone vibrates on the coffee tables. Groaning, he flicks off the towel to his shoulders, grumbling about how Principal Yaga better be respecting his day off, but the last thing he expects to see is your contact name flashing on the screen. In the contact photo, you’re winking with a peace sign held above your head.

You look so utterly adorable Nanami just wants to kiss you. He remembers this photo was taken when Yuuji got bored and asked to play games on his phone. Upon finding that there was none – of course there was none – the strawberry-haired student opted for taking pictures of everyone instead. There’s one with Nobara growling, Megumi sipping his boba-tea with dead eyes as if he’s so done with the world, more than twenty pictures of Satoru flexing his muscles and posing like an idiot, and then there’s yours.

Nanami remembers staring at his phone for a solid minute, his gallery actually blessed with your face in it. The sun shines behind you on that photo and you’re absolutely shining. He thinks that’s when he truly fell in love.

And it just so happened the love of his life is calling, making his heart skip a beat because shouldn’t you be with Gojo? Why were you calling him? Did something wrong happen?

Nanami doesn’t waste another second before swiping the green icon, already standing up from the couch as he grabs his jacket. He had this weird inkling something is wrong, why else would you call him?

His theories are proven true when your voice comes out shaky. “H-hello?”

“Good evening,” he greets stiffly, brows furrowed as he listens in on the way you seem to be shuffling around. “Is there something wrong?”

“I, uhm,” he hears you sniffle through the other line, “Yeah, I guess there is…Satoru just texted he can’t come because Principal Yaga suddenly sent him to a mission overseas…and then I just realized that Satoru’s been summoned by the elders and he’s just refusing to show up, so now they cornered him, I guess… anyways, I’m talking too much and I don’t want to be a bother, but would you maybe…like to hang out with me?”

Nanami’s hand freezes on the doorknob. “Hang out…professionally?”

He immediately wants to smack himself in the forehead for that. Out of all things he could’ve said, he just had to utter something unintelligent. He hears you snicker in the background and Nanami’s ears redden.

He quickly regains his composure with a clear of his throat, suddenly remembering that Satoru’s ditched you, so now you’re asking him instead. It kind of feels like he’s just a replacement, but Nanami buries this feeling down before it consumes him, wondering if he’s already regretting changing into better clothes because he actually agreed to go to a carnival with you.

Upon hearing your happy, “Okay! I’ll wait for you then!”, Nanami realizes that he doesn’t actually mind. Especially not with you.

The carnival is loud.

Nanami dreads the moment he steps out of his car, his body swallowed by the bustling crowd and defeaning music of banging drums and clashing instruments. There’s a hundred scents everywhere – smoke, fish, glazed apples – he doesn’t know where to begin or how to focus.

He nearly turns back to his hair, about to shoot you a text that maybe this is beyond him after all. His head begins to spin when he’s only pushed deeper into the crowd, people bumping into him with every single second and it’s so suffocating. It doesn’t make sense to him how anyone could possibly go on a date like this and enjoy it. He knows for sure this chaos won’t let him enjoy his date’s presence because he’s too busy trying to get away from it all.

Nanami staggers for a bit when a strong hand tugs him to the side. Soon, he finds himself pressed flush against you in a tight corner, your hips warm on his. “Hi,” you breathe out airily, lashes fanning and fluttering in that same manner that always made his heart do complete flips.

“Hello,” he greets back with a small bow out of faux respect, but really, he’s just keeping his head down because you look so beautiful in that moment he doesn’t even know where to look. You’re warm and soft next to his hard and stiff muscles, the scent of roses and vanilla mixing in with the street smoke and Nanami’s head grows dizzy, his hand around yours tightening for comfort. “Y/N…I do not prefer this crowd. Can I take you back home instead? You must be tired – I’ll prepare dinner for you.”

Nanami blinks back in surprise when he sees you nod, a slight grimace on your face, and you practically bury your face in his bicep as you groan, “It’s too noisy for me too. Let’s just hang out at your place.”

So you end up in his immaculately clean apartment, admiring and staring at the boring furniture. Nanami changes into more comfortable clothes and whips out something to cook, not wanting to feed you measly take out when you’re probably famished. He watches with side glances as you pick up a photo of him with his parents when he was younger, cooing and giggling at the baby version of him.

“Nanamin, you’re so cute!”

Nanami scoffs and turns back to the heated water in the bowl, arms hard as they cross against his chest covered with an apron. “Please do not call me cute. I am anything but.”

“No, you’re really cute,” you insist, but after seeing Nanami’s flustered frown, you eventually give up and give the poor man a break. Later, you wobble next to him, watching with curious eyes and a small smile as he adds the vegetables into the soup, moving expertly as he diced up the onions to the side. The sheer focus and attention on his daily tasks makes him falter, and he suddenly finds it so hard to function now.

“Why are you staring at me? Is there something so interesting about slicing up onions?”

“No, not really,” you say absentmindedly, the slight plop of the ingredients echoing. “It’s just – I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this way. Domestic, I mean, but it looks good on you,” you nod to yourself, and Nanami finds himself struggling to act as if your presence wasn’t making him go crazy while he proceeds to cook. “In fact, everything looks good on you, and I find you really interesting!”

“Y-you do?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug, assisting him silently with mixing the bowl even when he didn’t ask you to. Unaware that he’s now focused on you, watching you cook with him with you pressed up against his side, almost as if it’s right where you belong, Nanami feels the same with you. You also look good being this domestic with him, and he suddenly blurts out, “Would you like to stay with me? Like this?”

Your eyes slide over his in a slow fashion, slow enough that his brain hotwires at the fear maybe he’s said something wrong. But Nanami immediately swallows it down, huffing and turning away from you with that stoic expression again. “Forgive me. That was weird—”

“Why would it be weird?” you laughed to yourself before bumping your hips with his, “You’re the one who invited me here. Of course I want to stay.”

That’s…that’s not what he means.

Nanami is left staring openly at you while you help him set the table and you proceed to talk about how you didn’t really want to go to the carnival but Satoru insisted you’d have fun, so you went anyway even if you’d much prefer to be somewhere else. He’s barely listening, too distracted by the way your lips move and how you swing the house slippers on your big toe, your legs crossed on top of another and your figure slightly hunched across from him.

You look so comfortable and welcomed in his home that it puts him at ease too, not worried that he has to impress you anything because it’s you, and Nanami could actually be vulnerable enough to laugh with you over a bowl of vegetable soup.

It’s fine, he lies to himself again, it’s fine that you don’t know he likes you even if he tends to slip and be obvious sometimes. Because at least you’re with him in that moment, and he lies to himself again that it’s fine, that maybe next time he’ll tell you, but he doesn’t worry about. How could he worry about it when you’re snorting so loud over a lame joke he said that rice nearly came out your nose, and he’s so drunk over the sound of your bubbly laughter that something flutters deep within his belly?

When you help him wash the dishes and bask in the silence instead, comfortable over the lack of words and nothing but the sound of his faucet running and the slight rubbing of towels against dishes heard in the background, Nanami is unsure whether he’s glad that Satoru ditched you on your first date.

It doesn’t stop there.

Nanami only keeps falling in love with you more. He’s been doing a good job of keeping his feelings to himself because the last thing he wants is to have you stay away from him, but Satoru was really getting on his nerves.

He’s just come back from exorcising a curse when he sees you and Satoru play-wrestling in the field with the other students. Megumi is grumbling to himself in the corner, Yuuji is laughing and cheering on you to tackle down his sensei who’s currently going down in high-pitched laughter, Toge pumping his fists and screaming, “Salmon, salmon!”

It’s a chaotic sight – one that he usually doesn’t mind – until you finally pin Satoru down on the ground, your ass above his crotch. Satoru’s hands then come up to squeeze your ass and hips under the false pretense he’s struggling to push you off him, but Nanami knows better.

“Give up already!” you tease the other sorcerer who’s still wriggling underneath you, and Nanami sees it before it happens.

Satoru’s legs bend beneath you and he tries to pin you under him in quick movements, but Nanami is faster, his reflexes taking over. Before he realizes what he’s doing, Nanami tugs you and pulls you forward until you collide on his chest. He’s breathing hard, eyes narrowed at the arrogant smirk painted on Satoru’s features. Meanwhile, you’ve softened in Nanami’s grip, hands fisting his shirt that has him hardening up out of sheer protectiveness.

“Oh, Nanamin!” Satoru beams while wiping the dirt on his hands across his uniform, “Glad to see you here. You wanna join training too?”

“This is hardly training,” he retorts with a clenched jaw, “You’re harassing and disrespecting your fellow sorcerer because you can never keep your dirty hands to yourself,” before Satoru could defend himself, he’s already all over you, his hand tilting your chin side to side to check for any injuries. “Are you hurt anywhere? Did this bastard do anything else?”

“No, not really—”

“Why do you care so much, Nanamin?” Satoru teases, and the students all huddle to watch the commotion. Everyone can feel the tension rising, and Nanami only stiffens up further when he feels you lean closer to his warmth almost absentmindedly. “She and I were just playing around, no hard feelings, no foul play. We’re just having fun, right, Y/N?”

“She is not someone you can just have fun with, Satoru. You’ve already crossed the line when you ditched her on your first date, and you didn’t even bother texting or calling back when I drove her home. It’s disrespectful, and she deserves better than that.”

“Nanami—”

“I was busy,” Satoru sighs dramatically, “And if she deserves better than me, then who would it be? I can take care her of her, you know, she and I have been besties for like what, a year now? I’ll be good to her,” he smirks, and Nanami wants nothing more than to punch him square in the jaw. “Besides, it’s not like she’s dating anyone else. She’s single and ready to mingle—”

“Maybe she is, but I’m not,” Nanami deadpans, his harsh tone shocking everyone.

“Wh-what do you mean?” you squeak under him, and Nanami falls silent. He’s never thought of confessing to you, especially not this way, and Nobara is biting Yuuji’s jacket behind them to muffle her squeals. Panda is clapping his hands and whispers oh, here we go, followed by Toge’s salmon salmon.

It dawns on him now that everyone knows he likes you after all, and now that he’s confronted with the situation, he can’t run away from it. Not that Nanami plans on running away, for he is a man and his pride doesn’t allow him to evade situations like this.

He just wishes it could’ve gone out better.

“Forgive me if this makes you uncomfortable,” Nanami releases his grip on you, loosening his tie that makes him feel like he’s choking both on air and his words. Through his cool stature, he’s actually sweating inside his clothes, and it doesn’t help you’re patient with him too, head tilted to the side curiously and so horribly cutely he might combust. “But I have always been, and I still am, utterly in love with you.”

Nobara and Yuuji no longer hold back as they scream to themselves, the former slapping the latter in his back while Megumi only shakes his head, muttering “about time,” under his breath. Maki snickers to herself and Satoru is stunned, but it’s nothing compared to the way you shrink under his gaze for a moment.

He believes you’re going to run away from him because of his blatant confession; it wasn’t romantic at all, and the kids are still screaming too loudly for him to form coherent thoughts.

Nanami begins to form a deep bow, ready to apologize wholeheartedly and to politely ask you to forget this if you wish – he would respect your decision. But just as his gaze met the ground, he’s thrown off balance as you jump on him, soft glossy lips crashing into his.

The screams and cheers of everyone are suddenly drowned out when he feels your lips molding onto his, and he can feel you smiling happily, giggling while his hands tentatively run down your hips to hold you close. It’s unprofessional, displeasing, and downright horrendous to be kissing someone during work hours while the students are watching, especially because his clothes are crumpled from your eager touch and you’re on top of his chest, but Nanami absolutely doesn’t give a single fuck because he’s kissing you back fervently.

It’s what he’s always wanted – you’re the one he’s always wanted, and now that he has you in his hold, he’s not easily letting you go.

“See? I told you guys,” Satoru proudly puffs his chest up in the background, “All Nanamin needs is a little push.”

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