#ill go into it in a moment im just hmmm

[fruitwanderer]

Watching Last Life again and thinking about how the Life Series bleeds into HC

[violetseaslug]

friends w benefits, se-mi x fem!reader ᯓᡣ𐭩

★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★

a/n: this is lowkey kinda lazy and bad compared to my other fics IM SORRY </3 i wrote it in like 2 hours bc i wanted to post smth freaky before the angst fic ill post tmr 😇 not proofread btw

tw: fwb situation, smut but not rlly, it stops before the actual sex starts sorry guys </3

★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★

laying in bed, waiting for your best friends response to your message, you sigh as you hear a notification come from your phone but your eyes light up when it reads her name.

pretty<3: u asked asked too early in advance love, ill be a bit late. sorry <3

you weren't surprised at this, she'd stood you up a few times in the past week. But when the sex was that good, was the wait really that bad? did it really matter that much?

you were a college student, you knew your relationship with se-mi wasn't committed or serious, you were just two horny girls wanting to let off steam after a few exams and you were fine with that.

Although you missed her sarcastic personality, you missed her fingers and her tongue just as much. as your thoughts kept crashing ontop of each other, you found yourself slipping your hands up your shirt, eyes fluttering closed as you trailed your hand down your stomach, slowly reaching your navel.

a voice came from a few metres away,

"couldn't even wait a few hours, huh?," she said, flashing her stupidly attractive smirk at you and leaning her head against the door frame. As your eyes opened, you sat up and returned the same smirk.

"well, what can i say? you take ages." you mutter in response, checking her out. your eyes flash back up to hers,

"now that you're here, please fuck me?" you finish off in a pleading tone, but your eyes told se-mi you were just playing with her, she knows you'd never beg. apart from that one time.

"hmmm.." she starts, lifting her index finger to fiddle with the piercing resting against her lip.

she walks up to the bed you were laying in, taking a seat on the very edge.

"I'd hate to interrupt such a moment, baby. so keep going,"

eyebrows raising, your mouth opens to say something in response but se-mi is quick to render you speechless yet again.

"fuck your pretty pussy for me, yeah?"

you let out a shaky sigh as the words leave her mouth and gently nod your head.

She raises her hand to your face, index and middle finger resting underneath your chin to lift your head to face her.

"you're really gorgeous, you know that?" she whispers in your ear, thumb resting on your neck now covered in goosebumps thanks to the shudder you let out at the feeling of her against your skin.

Safe to say that night left you unable to stand without feeling your own cum leak out of your pussy and drip down your legs.

[i-cant-sing]

Just thinking about Yandere Todoroki clan and reader's random moments.

Reader coming home after a particularly bad day, but poor girl cant even cry or complain without everyone immediately overreacting and pulling you out of school/college or even keeping you from going out at all. So now, reader has to either cry in self pity before she enters her home, wipe her tears and fix herself just enough to show that she hadnt just bawled her eyes out moments ago. That, or do the more risky thing and go home, go to your room and cry under the covers, but then theres always the chance of Rei or the others walking in on you any moment.

Also thinking about baby/toddler reader being sick, just a common cold or flu, nothing major. But with reader whining and being so young, the family's infantalisation goes through the roof and theyd treat you as if you were immunocompromised. I wont lie, but I think Rei is almost kinda... glad when you get sick? She enjoys you being dependant on her for the most things, even when you grow up and are able to handle a cold, she still deludes herself into thinking that you need mommy to come and help you.

I think the one person who is most affected by reader getting sick, no matter what age, is Enji. The man just cant help but view you as a fragile, starving Victorian child the moment you fall ill. In his eyes, even a harsh blow of air is too much for a fragile thing like you, let alone something as bad as the flu. He just- he's holding toddler reader in his arms, who snuggles into his warm body, your tiny nose pink and he cant get the image of you crying and vomiting and being oh so feverish- thats just way too much for your small body. Oh how he almost cried when he took you to the doctor for a shot and you clung to him, trying to bury yourself into him as you begged him to make you feel better, cried to him that you didnt want to get the "big scary needle!" He just had to hold you there in his firm grip as you writhed, had to look away when you looked at him and he saw the feeling of betrayal in your eyes, had to keep himself from not strangling the fucking doctor for not being careful, had to walk out of the clinic and hand you to Rei because he couldnt hear you cry anymore, had to have Rei console both you and Enji (assuring him that "no, Enji. Y/n doesnt resent you for making her get a shot.") and he couldnt even sleep a wink that night because he was standing by your bed, holding your tiny hand with his pinky as a tear finally slipped out of his eye.

ALSO thinking about adult reader going out of the house to meet up with friends, except shes meeting up with them at a club instead of at their house like she told Enji and Rei, and now shes standing outside, abandoned by said friends, and shes now running because a group of pervy men are chasing her and she doesnt know who to call, so she just speed dials Shotou, except someone just changed all your speed dials to one number, and you think youre doomed when Shotou doesnt say a word to you and just hangs up when within minutes, someone comes in front of you-

"Dabi?" He tells you to cover your ears and look away, and you know well by know what that means, so you obey, feeling a bit regretful as those men begin to scream in agony. You dont know how long its been until Dabi pulls your hands away and examines your wounds. He lets you crash into his chest as you sob, and this time, Dabi simply decides to take you home quietly without a lecture.

Hmmm, also thinking about Natsuo who is usually cool as a cucumber, the most normal being in the family, except for his very rare episodes of unbridled rage where he suddenly becomes the Hulk. Good thing for you is that this anger is never directed towards you, rather towards people who actively threaten your life (except Rei cause she gets to play "Im your mom who became mentally unstable because of your abusive dad") The only time NAtsuo is stern with you is when it comes to your health. He's just looking at you with those strict eyes when you refuse to take your multivitamins, or dont want to get a flu shot, or try to make up an excuse so that he cant check your vitals. And when he just grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit down so that he can do his checkup, its in those moments that you realise just how strong your brother is... and how easy it may be for him to overpower you and sedate you if he ever followed through Rei's threats.

[z0n1x]

shitty soundpage commentary 2!

part 1:

https://www.tumblr.com/z0n1x/775758866285838336/ok-meowrther-fucker-where-doing-this-where-making

all the good stuff is under the cut!

IS HE FINALLY GONNA GET HIS BEC KILL??

why is bec blanc glowing yellow???

LMAOOOO THEY LOOK SO SCARED

its lalonde suicide time!!!!

huh i guess hope can do like anything so protecting the point with it isnt out of the question but then why didnt jake do something like this earlier

also you cant see it but jane is MASHING that button the laser goes like 5 different times

why does one of them have funko pop proportions??? did jade do that?

her goose is FULL ON CHARCOAL at this point

okay what the fuck?? maybe like with all the bodies she considered all of the dead soldiers one organism and “healed” all of them by fusing them together???? or maybe it’s just cool and im over thinking it

hmmm wouldn’t the dead trolls eyes turn white? maybe i heard this wrong but i thought dead troll bodies eyes turned white when they died and their ghost self reflected this

also THE LITTLE :3 FACED OLIVE TROLL EVEN IN DEATH LOLL

the true biggest loss….. his pizza also is he wearing cat paw slippers?

what if….. we were both D:, and we ran into the sunset together 0////0

after everything….. you can still see your mustache

how does the mustache…. you know what ill go with it

“riiiiiight here please you cant mess this up there is literally 0 chance you cant hit this unless jane has started building a death star”

awwww shit jasperose was right :/

how the hell did she get johns phone???

god the artstyle difference is crazy

also i just noticed (vriska) got a tavros style haircut

HELL YES THEY FINALLY GET TO LEAVE

lmao

I CANT CONVEY HOW COOL THIS MOMENT IS GO WATCH IS YOURSELF!

blue (vriska) shading (light) compared to earliers purple (rose) shading on roses face

just a cool detail

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

hmmmm im stuck between thinking this is just like extra godtier vriska or ult!vriska…

let me say though that the way that she stole rose’s knowledge of what was going to happen away from her is very thief of light-y

and of course stealing the spotlight…

bec blanc is way bigger than i thought if theres someone in there piloting it when their that small

AHHHH WITH KARKAT BEHEADING IT AND THE BLOOD RED COLOR ALREADY BEING ALL OVER BEC BLANC ITS JUST SO COOL

hmmmm new fire motif? im into it but it feels sort of out of left field for vriska

this new design is so cool yall

ohh lol i get it sun over the moon

but also with the increase in red in the design and her trying to message terezi i wonder if shes going to talk about terezi more since a big accent color for terezi was red and they had matching red shoes and stuff

i do like what they did with the eight to infinity thing and im glad theyre using it more in this new era of vriska if youll pardon my bs

also: more fire

AW SHIT SHES GOING FOR THE BIG GOAL

AAAAAAND

SHE SCORES!! (????????)

WILL IT BE JUST! WILL IT BE HEROIC (probably not) FIND OUT NEXT TIME LIKE IN A MONTH!

lol if you read all of this thanks for listening to me quote memes and badly theorize for a bit!

and if future me is reading this to see what i thought was going to happen: did i get anything right? ;3

part one: https://www.tumblr.com/z0n1x/775758866285838336/ok-meowrther-fucker-where-doing-this-where-making

byyyyyye!

[angelicbrats]

My favorite color doesn’t matter because I think I’d like you most in pink. Pink rope. Pink lace. The black collar you say is so beautiful though, that? That can stay. At least until I got you one of my own. Anyway, I agree with ❓. I’d also have you all tied up, only I’d keep you on your belly. It’d be a small mercy you wouldn’t understand until later. Though I’d desperately want to keep your legs together with that pink rope, I think my own belt would suffice. Your wrists, however, we’d decorate with a cute pink ‘bow’. Using your bed, since it’s apparently the perfect height, I’d bend you over it, reach under you, spread your pretty cunt, and hold your wand to your clit myself. It’d be easy to just watch you squirm…but too easy. So I’d drape myself over you, pressing the bulge of my strap into your ass- both in warning and amusement- until I got the perfect angle to hold the wand and push against you. Each rock of my hips would push you harder against the unrelenting toy, but there’d be nothing you could do besides squirm around and take it.

“Is this what you thought teasing would get you, pretty baby? I wouldn’t put it past you.” You denial would matter little. The only thing that would matter would be the differences in your whines. Your wriggles. The moment they bordered on desperation. “Oh? Tell me if you're about to cum.” It’d be an order and since you’re such a good girl, you’d tell me even knowing what came next. Or lack thereof.

“Aww, don’t cry, pretty girl.” I think the quiet from the wand being shut off would hurt more than my teases. Still, I’d run my hands through your hair. Kiss the heated skin of your neck. Little comforts before announcing, “It’s still too early for tears.” Lifting off of you, your only warning would be a prodding poke before I fully seated myself inside you. The stretch alone would force you to lift your head, to breathe deep. “We have so much more to go.” The buzz of the wand would be louder than your muffled sob because you finally learned why I put you face down. To bite the sheets. “You were right.” You’d probably never hated it more. “This is fun.”

-💼

holy shit what the hell im uh shit. im physically unable to form words. ive stared at this for so long.

pink? yes. i have some pretty lace panties in a baby pink that suit your tastes i think. that was very hot, that comment you made. hmmm i like that idea, the bite of your belt around my thighs, dreamt. paired with a pretty little bow.. how beautiful. i hope it leaves red marks on my wrists, so i can rub them and remember the sensation of you all over me. my bed is the perfect height, didn’t you want to know why i like it so much? because it’s the perfect height where i can still relax against the bed but also push myself back against you. edging me huh? denying me that sweet sweet explosion of an orgasm. you just want to hear me whine, and beg. “please, fuck please!” hands grasping at my duvet cover, desperately trying to push myself back against the vibrator and the bulge against me for more and more pleasure. hmmm. of course im going to tell you when im close, but. what if im feeling a little feisty huh? you’ve all baited me and baited me to deliver the brat but haven’t given me my in. oh you’ve given me my in. what happens when i don’t tell you huh? when i clamp my legs together and let myself sip over the edge. you’ll stop wont you? predictable move if you do so. a ruin, mmm. you’ll love the way i wiggle and shake, the whines of desperation and begging for you to turn it back on. predictable, yes.

you know i won’t be able to hold on too long before those tears start. but ill melt into you at the sweet comforting words as i try and hold back the tears, wiggling against you. god, and you know, pushing into me without much of a warning, just shows you how soaked i am. my poor duvet. will need a good wash after. hmm. i can see it now, your hand pressing my head into the bed, my teeth biting down on the duvet.

this is fun, so fucking fun. ill tease you all i want if this is how you respond. am i still going to beg and whine and whimper and try and bargain. i want to cum but fuck that was hot.

[h1s-m4rtialgod]

Heh... ALL OF THEM (ask game)

MING IM GONNA CHOKE YOU. /silly, j

domesticated — how easily do you give into your darling’s desires ? ( bonus : assuming you’d kidnapped them , how much pleading from them would it take for you to let them go ? )

Hmmm.. id probably give in the moment you asked I think? Of course, if its something I dont KNOW about, id probably think for a tiny bit.. but its INSTANT give in /silly ( If you’d ask to leave, id 100% let you, but id probably stalk your accounts or anything to see if you’re active and makes sure you’re atleast alright :3 )

wolf — are you more interested in your darling’s comfort , or your own desires and excitement ?

YOURS. 100% YOURS. Dont even WORRY about mine

collar — what kind of physical ownership would your darling ‘ wear ‘ ? ( a collar , matching necklaces , bruises , etc . )

Boutta pull a hua cheng here lowkey, but maybe matching necklaces/bracelets with our names or just a ring on a necklace? Depends really, cause I’m only gonna do what you’re comfortable with and partially mine

harness — how much control do you want over your darling’s life , body , and mind ,, if any ?

As much control as you’d give me : 3

service dog — how much affection do you give to your darling compared to other people ?

I feel so bad that Im SUCH an extroverted-introverted dude, cause im constantly giving my friends alot of attention… but since you’re now my OFFICIAL darling, you’re gonna get all of my attention anytime I have my phone : )

working dog — would you prefer to provide for your darling ( with work , food , etc . ) , let them provide and take care of them along the way , or be equal ?

Hate that my legs are absolutely SHITTY, cause if they worked way better, i’d do LITERALLY everything for you. But maybe equal (and I do a little bit more than you do but dw about that)

howl — would you ever punish your darling for something ? if so , what would you punish them for and how ?

I would NEVER punish you, im too much of a wuss to even speak up for myself 💔 (But I’d probably do like. A teasing annoyance act or something)

coyote — would you ever be nervous with your darling , are you naturally stoic , or do you put up a brave facade with them ?

100% probably nervous but ALSO stoic.. im a scaredy cat man 💔 NO FACADE FOR YOU THOUGH. I want you to know the real me :3

wolfdog — is there anything you wouldn’t accept your darling for ? ( different beliefs , identity , etc . ) . if so , would you try to change them ?

OF COURSE NOT??? You can literally be anything (besides like. Racist, a kid diddler or sum) AND I WOULDNT GIVE A FUCK BC YOU’LL STILL BE PERFECT IN MY EYES

chew toy — do you like to mark your darling ? if so , how ? and if no , why not ?

Only if you’d be comfortable !! The whole “marking” experience was kinda. Ruined by my ex and now i get nauseous with any thought of biting or marking someone though

bark — what’s the absolute worst thought you’ve had about your darling ?

KAY SO: I havent had like.. any ‘bad’ thoughts at all so far, I think the worst rn though is just me kidnapping you and taking you to a small house and we just ?? Live 2gether away from the world and everybody else ? WAH IDK

hound — if your darling tried to leave you or get away from you , how far would you go to get them back ? how long would you try before giving up ?

lets see, If you left me/got away: I’d probably cry HARDCORE, but I’d never give up on you really .. ID TRY TO GET YOU BACK AT ALL COSTS 💔

owner — are you more of a submissive or dominant yandere ? in what ways ? how does that affect your relationship with them ?

Hmmm.. maybe both but more?? Dominant?? Idk ive always been told that, but im more like.

OKAY SO: Ill be submissive if i WANT or feel comfortable doing that, but due to past shit im more dominant and up front so im way more protective of people SO. ill probably be more protective of you from anything and also just. Kinda. Take you as my own and never let you leave kinda dominant

IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT CRIES

[valleygirlmukuroikusaba]

feeling like im in the minority with how i percieve this particular character(mukuro) sighhhh

bc i been yapping a bunch with some other fans and like. while im not axed on sight for "mischaracterization"(mostly bc im hanging out with ex-fans) it is a lillll. a tad bitttt frustrating

bc atp its just like junko but what if she was normal and not a freak and her name happened to also be mukuro ikusaba. so non despair junko if you go the route that mukuro is meant to contrast junko. but like ive been kinda taking it as junko parallels mukuro since ive kinda made a bit of space in my head that makes it feel like the rest of thh was meant to compliment thh ch1

like something abt thh feels like most of the care and development was mostly focused on fleshing out ch1 and the rest seems like a afterthought. tho i cant put my finger on why it just really stands out to me

tho afterthought might be too harsh of a word hmmm

im not sure if im like outright ignoring who mukuro actually is in source. which uh tbf i have no fucking clue aside from the fanon emo interpretation that i cant actually even back up bc im missing required information and like . i feel like theres a chance that it could of been change of direction during conception bc im not even sure what the whole decision behind making junko(mukuro) the ultimate soldier is rlly abt? again this opinion could very much change the moment i watch the dr3 anime or smth. maybe future me might come across it and go wow i used to see mukuro like this

tho my au is still gonna focus on this ch1 mukuro concept and yeah i mean tbf im ignoring a good chunk of the canon lore here to make this work in a v3 like setting i think my version of mukuro changes nothing.? it might be jarring to danganronpa timeline lore truthers bc v3 doesnt really give a good conclusion to the HPA/FF saga but truth be told im not actually that much of a fan of that huge lore direction, bc while playing sdr2/udg and thinking back on it im just tryna like get things to fall in place a bit and then hit a brick wall and be like. wow danganronpa lore kinda bad ngl lol

anyways back to mukuro-junko and my au:

so generally uhm its v3 setting-like but its also abt the media from the outsider's view as well since like. theres legal accusations and disinformation and a bunch of like . idk modern au but also like its abt production in the end and i like the idea that mukuro(+leon) r like individual artists in comparison to big companies in the entertainment industry and i like that ill still have kinda freaky junko enoshima to like contrast that i think

well she's not particularly as artsy like junko but this au has it that she put in as much if not more than junko to keep up appearances bc she does go though with the junko disguise to the point the legal team gets them confused with how much forgery mukuro is capable of and i dont think junko nearly has enough time to focus on her sister while also running the entertainment company so mukuro has to make do with some parts of junko's plan on her own(and then she comes around to makoto and the others later)

like this junko is not nearly as fucked up as canon source junko but like symbolically i think its fine to have her in opposition to mukuro in terms of where i want to head with the story! man i wish i knew how to write a narrative like . this au eats at my brain eugh

[its-no-biggie]

tagged by @adventure-line-tm! thanks for the tag <333

favourite colour: orange!

currently reading: hmmm lets see. a not so fairy tale, the worm audiobook, oooh i still havent finished the green yuri...... unfortunately dont have anything i cant put down at the moment but ive got a few things on the go! actually for the past few days ive just been consuming httyd fics at an alarming rate 😭 the nostalgia got me.......

last song: real life by bastille. ooouhghghgg...... the character....... (its also just a good song. i like how it sounds. but you must understand that im making myself sick over the lyrics)

last movie: how to train your dragon 2...... i watched the first 2 movies back to back the other night <3 hence the fanfic reading LOL

last show: (discreetly pulling up myanimelist to read off the title correctly) i may be a guild receptionist, but i'll solo any boss to clock out on time. i fell a little behind toward the end of the season but i just finished it! suchhhhh a fun show omg....... ill always be a sucker for a fantasy story with a side romance plot - not to mention a tsundere protagonist. honestly there was no way i WASNT gonna like this show. i loved the chemistry between the leads and thought that the show balanced the funny lighthearted moments with the intense drama and high stakes very very well. its not a literary masterpiece or anything, and the supporting cast was considerably less developed than i wouldve liked, but it was consistently very enjoyable to watch. definitely recommend!

sweet, salty or savoury: sweet!

craving: a fucking NAP. i did not get nearly enough sleep last night

tea or coffee: hot chocolate (but i do prefer the flavour of coffee over tea. like for example..... a certain coffee-flavoured dessert.......)

tagging @boyslit @the-animalcollective @mysteriousboo @whatthefuckisasweep @loachlauncher and anyone who wants to :3

[gotham-mockingbird]

So I’m chronically ill and have chronic pain so my pain level scale is a bit different

Im always at a normal person like 3-4 so when I start my scale at 1 it starts at what a normal persons would be so to relate to my wife I add 3-4 to whatever pain I feel

Right now I’m at a me 4 (which would be a normal persons 7) because of my recent stress anxiety and activities

To me it’s just a four and I can ignore it but I know if my brother sister aunt etc. had this pain they’d be incapacitated yet I’m still the lazy one even tho I got this pain from cleaning my entire three story apartment in between visits to my sick dad an hour away

I hate being put down for listening to my body in the past while currently stressing my body out so bad that my anxiety is manifesting into muscle pain and still visiting my dad

I was talking to my dad about being disabled (ranting about my insurance) and I saw my sisters head pop up from her laptop right as I said it and I could see the exasperation on her face

My family has a bad habit of ignoring the fact that I’m disabled and even refusing it altogether. I wish more than anyone that I wasn’t disabled

I’d love to go back to work and help disabled and elderly people but I myself need someone to help me. Doing that job was killing me. I loved that job but it was the blind leading the blind.

One of my clients got me sick and I couldn’t go to work for a week and then I tried going back after I got better but I was still feeling it and went in with a mask. She told me she couldn’t afford getting sick and that I needed to leave.

That’s the moment I knew that line of work wasn’t for me, because of my mental and physical disabilities. I’m just ranting at this point.

The edible I took for my pain is kind of kicking in and I’m getting itchy and tired wait I might take a warm bath

Hmmm

Maybe

Eat my Taco Bell

Who knows

My cat is now on my hip and making biscuits so I’ll be here a while

Say hi to Dan

He’s purring

Oh yeah

Moral of the story: don’t be mean to disabled people we wish we were normal too you don’t gotta make us feel like shit for what we can’t do 👏🖕

Update: I’m now at a 5.3 (8.5) and I haven’t had a bath or Taco Bell

[chickenkurage]

Hey JM and Spongey!

Been a while since i open this app again,school is being a pain in my life rn. But did u watch the new video! Like,wtf did i just watch? I waited for over a year or so...just for my otp to be destroyed?!

I do like Mitsi x Victim,im just inlove with Agentvic(my beautiful memory). It been 2 days right? Since my otp is destroyed,i was crying so damn hard bro. We know more abt Vic and his life,why did he want to find Chosen so bad,why is he so evil and how did he escape,also some more Chosen and Dark moment! But at what cost? :(((

I swear on my life,i just need to survive this week and next week then ill be free from this hell situation! Then ill be free (im vietnamese,this shit is normal)

I got a bunch of theories written when i saw it! But ill just tell u one! (I aint writting all of that). Do u think Mitsi is dead or alive? Idk,i cant be so sure! Becuz we havent seen the body! No body mean there is still a chance,right?

Also,what was ur thought abt the new video(and abt this ask too). Becuz as i can see,im becoming a multishipper rn,help. And what do u think abt one-sided Agentvic or Vicagent?

Yeah, we watched it together during its premiere and here I was going crazy about the revelation and Spongey is like "hmmm YES." IT WAS A FUN WATCH AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT EPISODE X33

In Spongey's own words, "Yeah, she's dead lmao."

Personally, "Yeah she's dead lmao."

It's probably the null hypothesis in this situation XDD. Unless more hints are shown that Mitsi is still alive, yeahh we stand by the thought she's dead cause like the attack was literally aiming to where she is! But Mitsi... My girl :'((

About the whole video, it's just funny to me how Victim was first introduced as this ruthless boss who's cold and calculating and yada yada, then the video came out and Victim is just being a cutie patootie with Mitsi <33

Another thought, heh, a donut head eating a donut lol

And the one-sided VicAgent, Spongey absolutely LOVES it. She has a thing for unrequited love XDD. While here I am just being, "Aww unrequited love :<." I'm fine with any ships as long as it's legal :PP - JM

[whoreanghae]

familiar ; kwon soonyoung

genre - strangers to lovers, meetcute, y/n works at a cafe

word count - 1.8k

disclaimers - lowercase on purpose, no proofreading, fic under the cut

a/n - soooo its been a while... ive had a very busy 2023 and a very severe case of writers block, but i wanted to write a cute hoshi fic about a cafe so this is what we get. im also in the works of writing a longer fic like my last one, but that wont be out for a bit, its still very early stages. regardless, i hope u enjoy this messy lil hoshi fic! (because i wouldnt be whoreanghae without a little hoshi here and there) its just sweet and warm and fuzzy etc etc hope u enjoy xoxo k

“order up!”

life working in the cafe was nothing short of fast paced. you were constantly making drinks or baked goods that in a 6 hour shift you were basically running around the entire time. you had no way of pointing out specific things or people, it was just go, go, go. you were used to the environment, and you enjoyed how you had no time to dwell on mistakes or mishaps. you simply had to move on to the next task. 

this day things werent as hectic as they usually were, so you were testing out new drinks and snacks for the menu. as you started pouring milk into an empty cup for the next round of testing, you heard the bell above the door jingle and quickly poured the last cup of milk and turned around. the man who stood a couple feet away from the counter was what you would call ‘a familiar’. you dont see him enough to call him a regular, but you see him just enough that he stands out when you see him walk in. he was one of those people you still noticed out of the rest even in one of those fast paced busy days. you watch as his eyes scan the menus above your head, and he taps his foot as he tries to decide what to order. after 20 seconds or so he steps up to the counter and smiles. you give him a smile back.

“welcome back! what’ll it be today?” 

“hmmm, im thinking ill go for something matcha today. maybeeeee a medium iced matcha latte?”

you hum and nod as you press buttons on the register. 

“good choice, good choice, can i get you anything else today?”

“and a large iced americano!”

“allllright, ill get started on that for you now.”

you shoot him another smile as he takes out his card and taps it on the machine. you spin around and start getting out the ingredients to make his drinks. everytime he comes in, he always gets a different drink from the menu for himself, then a large iced americano. every time, a large iced americano. you just assume the drink is for a girlfriend or someone, and continue on with your day. as much as youd never admit it, some days you kind of wish he stops ordering the americano. its not that you dont want the cafe getting any sales, its just that he is handsome. so handsome. and you dont want to make a fool of yourself and hit on a guy with a girlfriend. so as long as hes ordering the large iced americano, youll keep to yourself. 

you whip up the drinks and bring them to the other end of the counter, as his head pops up and he comes over to pick up the drinks. he thanks you, and you wish him a good day as he heads out the door again. you sigh, watching him leave with that damn large iced americano in his left hand.

your coworkers start to pick up on your little thing for mr familiar, so everytime they see him coming, theyre coincidentally busy in that moment. he comes in a couple times again throughout the week, still ordering the americano. you still shoot him the same smile, wishing him well, and watching him leave with the drinks in tow. one day, just one day, he wont order the americano and youll be able to make a move. but, that just wasnt the day.

one day when work is particularly dead, youre sitting at a table a few feet away from the counter eating your lunch when the door bell rings again. you look up, and youre met with mr familiar yet again. you wave meekly as he smiles and nods your way. your coworker serves him, since you had just sat down. you try to not look at him, or listen to what hes ordering. hes just another customer, why do you wonder so strongly what drinks he had just ordered? you push it out of your mind as you try to finish your sandwich. out of the corner of your eye you see your coworker place a drink and something else on the counter, and mr familiar walks to the counter and picks it up. but, instead of hearing the door bell yet again, you’re instead met with a figure standing over your table. 

“is this seat taken?”

he gestures to the chair opposite you at the small table. you shake your head and nod for him to sit down. he places his drink and sandwich on the table and grins at you. you try to stop the tips of your ears from turning red, but you can feel the heat blazing from the side of your head. you both eat your lunch as you make small talk. you learn that he actually goes to your school, which is just down the block. hes a dance major, which piques your interest even more. it turns out that he has a really cute laugh, and loves tigers. you tell him about your self, and he listens intently the entire time. he nods his head along with your stories which makes you smile to yourself. you check your watch, realizing that the lunch rush is about to start. 

“im so sorry to cut this short, but i have to get back to work, the lunch rush is about to start and i cant leave them high and dry.”

“oh no worries at all! i have a class at 1:00 anyways, its probably time for me to head back now too.”

“it was really nice talking to you.”

“it was nice talking to you too, wait, here-”

he rummages in his pocket, pulling out a crumpled up receipt and a pen. he scrawls something on the back of the paper, and shoves it into the pouch of your apron. you laugh at his urgency as he puts the pen back into his pocket and heads out the door. he waves as he walks past the front windows, and you wave back in a sort of shock. you pull the crumpled paper out of your apron and read it. the paper reads “Soonyoungie~” and his number. as you read this, you realize you never even gave him your name. you see a string of customers begin to roll in, so you shove the receipt into your back pocket and get back to work.

as the day comes to an end and youre sitting in your bed in your pajamas, you keep turning the receipt over and over in your hands. you trace the letters and numbers with your fingers so much that you think they might soon rub off the paper. do i text him? how long do i wait? did i wait too long? you stare at the receipt until you fall asleep, paper in hand. you wake up the next morning to the receipt laying on the floor next to your bed. you pick it up, grab your phone, and carefully type the numbers into a new contact. you make sure to reread it about 20 times, before naming the number “soonyoung” and flopping back onto your bed. 

you get to work, and youre staring at the empty text conversation between you and mr familiar, who youve now discovered is ‘soonyoung’. then, you quickly realize that you didnt tell him your name. your palm connects with your forehead as you realize that youre probably just ‘cafe girl’ to him at this point. you see your manager walk out of the back room in the corner of your eye, so you put your phone back into your pocket so she doesnt shout at you. it feels like your phone is weighing you down, whispering ‘text him, text him’ into your ear as you mix drinks. you push soonyoung to the back of your mind, trying to just get through this shift. 

the cafe is booming this day, customers are constantly in and out and there are so many people that the tables are all filled. you and your coworkers are switching out with each other between cleaning/serving tables, working the cash, and making the orders. it just so happens that your shift as the cashier had just started when you see a familiar face coming in. soonyoung smiles as he sees you, and glances at the menu before coming up to the counter. you beam at him as he looks at you over the counter. you notice another guy next to him, looking around the cafe in awe.

“hi soonyoung! whats on the menu today?” 

“a large vanilla latte for me, and a large iced americano for my friend.”

you blink to yourself as you type in the order. large iced americano… large iced americano… the large iced americano wasnt for a girlfriend, it was for a friend. the man next to soonyoung had a kind smile, and he radiated warm energy. you give both of them a grin as you gesture to the machine and watch as soonyoung taps his card yet again. 

“so what are you two doing out today?”

“we both had some time between classes, and i always bring seungkwan americanos from here because he says theyre the best in seoul, so today i convinced him to come with me.”

“ahhh, well im glad you enjoy them, seungkwan.”

he gives a smile back as you hear soonyoungs name called from the end of the counter. 

“have a good day you two!”

“you too, y/n!”

soonyoung calls back as he heads out the door and you move on to your next customer. wait. he knew your name? how did he know your name? the interaction lingers in your mind throughout every customer you serve until youre about to close. you think about it over and over again, and bring it up to one of your coworkers.

“hey, did you tell that guy soonyoung my name?”

“huh? no, why?”

“its weird, he came in and he knew my name..”

“honey, did you forget whats right here?”

she pats your chest, and you look down at your apron. you feel like an idiot. name tag. thats how he knew. your coworker laughs and pats your back as she goes back into the breakroom. you clean off the counters and take out your phone and quickly type out a message. 

y/n : hey soonyoung! this is y/n from the cafe :) 

you stare at the message for what felt like hours, and reluctantly turn your phone off and go back to cleaning up so you can go home. as youre putting the containers of milk back into the fridge, you hear your phone buzz on the counter and spin around.

soonyoung : hey y/n!

soonyoung : how is/was work? 

the message makes you smile, as you send another one and push your phone across the counter, flustered.

y/n : it got better after i saw a certain familiar face :))

[tonydaddingham]

UM.

Update 2: okay fine then, fuck it (she says still suspicious that there's no way neil would ever confirm a s3 plot point so of course he'd say this BUT THEN AGAIN if time were stopped why would the clock move UGH if it is an error ill be so upset)

UPDATE: so neil answered this but hmmm? now i know fuck all about jack shit admittedly but idk, presumably the first half of the scene where crowley confesses was filmed in at least a few takes? or pieced together in a few takes? and the clock is resolutely at 0925, indicating it would have been stopped? then the second half, just before aziraphale leaves the shop, it's jumped by 15 minutes... precisely.

even if filmed on different days/different calls, you'd expect the clock to have changed hours too...? and i cant imagine that a whole ass week after s2 release that neil would reveal anything about s3 which by all accounts he hasnt finished and can't finish writing yet... yeah im not convinced 100% it's a continuity error

so here is where you witness rhi shit on every single thing she has written including the interpretation written with visceral conviction that I Forgive You was written in response to crowley tempting aziraphale with the kiss. but the thing is, i cant believe that neil 'master of detail' gaiman, douglas 'every prop is important' mackinnon, and co. would let this continuity error slide (*side eye to crowley's sideburns and glasses change*):

now i sincerely hope that this isn't a 'crowley stops time and they actually decide that they're going to swap places/come up with a whole plan to save the world etc without discussing their Problems' incident, because as it stands narratively i feel that could be a little cheap

but possibly more a 'crowley stops time to stay in this below moment and they talk a bit more, but ultimately argue a bit more too and realise that neither as of yet is going to see each others' whole perspective but hey communication of any kind is a revelation for these dummkopfs' moment

like, i still hope there's angst going into s3. i need these two to be worlds apart from each other so they fully recognise the void that the lack of the other has left, and actually their ideological differences a) can be discussed and reconciled, and b) are perhaps not actually that different after all

but whatever potentially happens in those 15 minutes i hope still explains the absolutely devastated look on aziraphale's face, the I Forgive You, the glance back to Crowley before he gets in the lift, aziraphale steeling himself in the lift before he arrives in heaven... does crowley actually confess to aziraphale who he is? who he was before the fall? why he can never go back? why he can never be forgiven in the first place?

this has set my mind on FIRE

[reco-obsessed]

Hello user reco-obsessed, #1 for the yttd ask game, who's your favorite character?

Haha but for real, ummm 4 and/or 21?

my favorite is definitely kuro from the manga. i feel like there some other character i was going to say, but i seem to have forgotten...

4 : whats your favorite moment ingame?

im really bad with favorites... ill choose one arbitrarily and say when alice gives the bongos to the fake reko and she storms off so sara goes after her and they have that scene where sara can tell shes crying but doesnt turn to look. that one hits hard.

21 : what is your favorite attraction from chapt 2? which one is your least favorite? 

hmmm... come to think of it, i dont know if ive actually played all of them. i usually end up playing the same ones even on replays, so there are probably some i havent cleared. ill go easy on myself for being a big boy and picking only one favorite before and let myself pick two this time: the arm wrestling game and charge card battle

for charge card battle, its not complicated, i just like card games. the arm wrestling game has more lore. i was forcing a friend to play it and since they chose alice, i made up the joke that he was about to lose and told sara to just flip the table over so it looked like they were winning like how he used to in jail and thats how they won. i still think this joke is funny and am thinking about drawing it at some point

least favorite... hard to say. i have kind of a love-hate relationship with stay on target. ive spent hours on it. i would probably hate it if it didnt have reko in it. but since shes in it.... eh. whats another 4 hours trying to keep my mouse over a flying bullet bra cup

[youremyheaven]

How should a woman know if a man has truly genuinely fallen for her and it's strong? What are the key signifactors to tell so?

Is arm guy your first love? Like true love?👀👀👀

How would you know? 🙈will it make you sad and jealous finding out he actually loved someone else before you? *Hypothetically*

Would it be okay if they stayed friend's with that person?

Ive been thinking about this topic about men and love. Tho experiences vary for people but as per some stats is it true that a man's first love or relationship is always going to be a significant part of them whether unrequited or heartbreak? They just can't forget them and unable to love the same as they did the first time? Even if it means dating, getting married and having a child

wowww these are some bigggg questions hmmm

ill try to answer them to my best ability (im prepared for my future self to laugh at me lmao but i trust that future heaven's in good hands<33)

How should a woman know if a man has truly genuinely fallen for her and it's strong? What are the key signifactors to tell so?

for me, love is as love does. this means, love is an ability not an emotion.

i HIGHLY recommend reading all about love by bell hooks. i read it for the first time as a 18-19yr old and it CHANGED me as a person. i think every person, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, should read it.

a lot of us have been conditioned to believe that love is this mysterious fluttery emotion that just randomly strikes us one day. whilst its possible to experience that, its important to not let our own understanding of love be limited to that. love is not just what we feel, its what we do.

if i say i love my dog but dont feed him or wash him, then what kind of love would that be?

a lot of people fail to grasp the psychology of abuse and why its hard for victims of abuse (myself included) to leave their abusers. its because despite everything, there is love there. there are moments of tenderness, warmth and affection. any wounded person would stay trying to lap up whatever little they get no matter how excruciating the relationship may be otherwise. it requires a different kind of personal healing to be dissatisfied with breadcrumbs and BELIEVE you're worthy of someone's love and affection ALL THE TIME.

if you love someone, you TREAT them well. you speak to them kindly. not just when it suits you BUT ALL THE TIME. yes ALWAYS. no matter the situation, there is a way to approach it with grace!! you think of their needs/interests/where they're coming from. you do things without asking or being asked. you do what is necessary.

if you love someone and they say they're hungry, you get them food. instead of saying "why dont you eat?". i remember the first night my pookie I were hanging out, I was experiencing some personal difficulties and he stayed with me the entire day, leaving his work behind and I went home really late that night and he bought me dinner to take home with me even though I refused because he knew I was alone and had a distressing day🥹🥹its a small gesture perhaps but the fact that he was so thoughtful and considerate really warmed my heart. 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬the fact that he knew I was a girl alone in the city, vulnerable, sad and in distress and treated me with the utmost grace and kindness 🧿🪬🧿🪬and what makes me melt is how I know that he would treat anybody in that position the same way because that's who he is as a human being, he is sensitive, kind and generous. if you think about it, he had no reason to be there for me. after all, i had rejected him and given him the cold shoulder, he could just tell me to buzz off when I called him in the middle of the afternoon of a workday lol but he didn't 🥺🥺

(this was a tangent)

you'll know a man loves you when is sensitive towards you and your needs. when he is attentive towards you. remembers your likes and dislikes. when he is protective and caring. ive always believed that when we're in love, we awaken the maternal/paternal instinct within us because biologically that's how we're rooted to care for others, i.e, by being nurturing and considerate. like if you're vegetarian and your bf takes you to a steakhouse, thats 🚩if they love you, they'll do every possible thing to make your life easier. obviously not all men express love in the same way.

but regardless of his personality, the important factor here is that he WILL SHOW IT in REAL TANGIBLE WAYS. maybell he'll get you a cheesecake, maybe he'll buy you flowers, maybe he'll write you letters or sing you songs or whatever but HE WILL SHOW YOU. he will make you feel special.

if a man does not make you feel special in any way, that means you're not special to him. which means he does not love you.

Is arm guy your first love? Like true love?👀👀👀

i fell in love for the first time when i was 17 and it changed me as a human being so that was my first love 😭 its too soon to say anything about arm guy etc yet 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬but he is a lovely human being and a GREEN FLAG AF 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬ask me again in a few months and hopefully then i'll have a better answer to this question hehe<333

How would you know? 🙈will it make you sad and jealous finding out he actually loved someone else before you? *Hypothetically*

he said he's only been in 2 relationships before and i somehow get the feeling that they weren't super lovey dovey 🧐🤔i dont know the full details of those relationships rn (one of them was with an older woman- altho she's only 2yrs older than him and they met at the gym??? lol?? but idk her vibes felt off to me 😒)

i think i'll know in that moment (that its love) and ofc ill yap about it here hehe lmaooo . i cant say what or how itll happen bc im not God 😭😭

i wont be sad if he's been in love before because i know that nothing could come close to what we have or how we are with each other 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬i feel very secure about that so nope hehe

Would it be okay if they stayed friend's with that person?

it depends on the person and the situation tbh,, some men have complicated relationships with their exes and thats what makes you feel like he'll go back to her any minute.

arm guy has been single for like 2 years, his ex moved overseas and all the roads are clear. if they occasionally reply to each others stories (which is what im assuming you mean by staying friends with an ex lmao) idc tbh lol

Ive been thinking about this topic about men and love. Tho experiences vary for people but as per some stats is it true that a man's first love or relationship is always going to be a significant part of them whether unrequited or heartbreak? They just can't forget them and unable to love the same as they did the first time? Even if it means dating, getting married and having a child

YESSS

This I wholeheartedly believe in. If you meet a man, you can always tell if he's had a significant "love" in his life. Because that will change you as a human being and the mark of that first love will be visible to anyone. Its like a wound you carry with you. you nurse it, you cover it up but its there. Men who've had that first love + heartbreak are a different species compared to men who haven't. They have that weariness to them, they understand women differently, they look at the world differently. First love + heartbreak builds character like NOTHING else ever could.

whenever men have that boyish sweet innocent vibe, I know they haven't known a "real" love and heartbreak yet. Thats the thing that makes a boy a man. And he will NEVER ever forget that woman until the day he dies.

men aren't wired the same way women are. male friendships are very low maintenance and low effort. the only space where men CAN share their emotions or be emotionally intimate with someone and share themselves deeply is in a romantic relationship. UNLIKE women who have profoundly deep relationships with other women as well. what this means is that, being in love, for a man, is 100x more vulnerable than it is for a woman because just the emotional intimacy of being that close to someone, sharing things with them, talking to them about stuff etc is BRAND NEW for them. imagine if you, as a woman, never had a friend before and made one for the very first time. wouldnt you be so cautious, nervous, scared, worried about every little thing etc because you dont want to lose them??

men lowkey get mad when they fall in love because it makes them sooo vulnerable, when usually they can just talk about football and drink a beer and go home. now he has to BE A PERSON and FORM A CONNECTION and its scary asf.

no man will ever forget the first woman he opened up to that way, the first woman he fell in love with. its his first taste of being seen as a human being.

even if it was unrequited love. the act of loving someone can make us more deeply human than anything else. it humbles us. it grounds us. even if they never love us back, we cant help but love them. there's nothing more profoundly humanizing than that.

i hope this answer helps<333

love,

Heaven

[bilswifee]

sorry but i have a STORY. grab your popcorn, its a long one.

so i already told you its tech week, so we have rehearsal everyday, everyone's stressing, we're understaffed because a bunch of tech people couldnt make it last minute, but its whatever. HEAVY on the everyone being stressed.

didnt say this but we're the show we're doing is guys and dolls, didnt say this either but my ex is playing benny and because shes playing a gambler (in the show, yall) she has to wear a suit. (🙏🙏) and we both had chem and the teacher was highkey holding us hostage, he would not let us go, so me and her were a but late, only thing we missed was changing, tech is still getting props out and actors are doing warmups.

me and her go to the bathroom to change because tech need to wear all black and she needs the suit, i change my shirt and im about to leave and she asks me to wait for her and say sure because we're kinda friends(?) like obviously not as close but we talk sometimes and we also broke up like 5 months ago

im waiting outside the door and she asks me if i know how to tie a tie and i say "yeah come here" and she says "no, you come in here its easier"..YEAH DEFINITELY BECAUSE ITS EASIER, WHATEVER YOU SAY.

so i walk in and OH MY GODDDDD she looks so good, (the amount of thoughts i had in that moment) she was wearing slacks and a dress shirt and had the tie around her neck. i was bound to die in that MOMENTTT. the blazer is hanging on the door and im in front of her, just started tying the tie and she says "ive missed you lately" WHAT. WANNA REPEAT THAT FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK??? and im shocked and don't know what to reply because what. so im like "yeah?" or "really?" or something like that and shes like "yeah, miss the way you'd talk to me, and text me all the time," and other stuff like that. and im done with her tie at this point so im standing there like and idiot trying not to smile like crazy.

and this girl. THIS GIRL. I CAN NOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP. SHE SAYS "and the way you wouldve grabbed me by my tie a couple months ago" WHATTTTTT, like yes i would and SPOILER ALERT, i did but WHAT. AT SCHOOL. WHILE PEOPLE ARE PROBABLY WAIT BECAUSE ITS BEEN LIKE 5 MINUTES AND IM NOT BACK? thats whats crazy to me

but she says i few more things like that and that shits getting progressively worse and worse but then she stops and just says "can you jus fuckin kiss me already?" AND YES LIKE THAT, SAYS IT JUST LIKE THAT BECAUSE OF HER ACCENT THAT I LOVE WITH MY WHOLE SOUL.

SO I DO, BECAUSE WHO AM I TO NOT DO WHAT IM TOLD ?? and holy shit. holy shit because i forgot how much i missed kissing her. holy shit because i forgot how soft her hands are. holy shit because i forgot how loves when i put my hand in her hair. holy shit because she ended up moaning in the kiss and my brain short circuit. LIKE IM THE LUCKIEST BITCH ALIVE, NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE EVERRR.

and she start rambling about how she misses me and how shes been so stressed and how shes needed me so bad and oh my fucking GOD. i just cant. i literally cant. and we go through like 10 minutes of just making out and rambling and neck kisses (THAT WILL BE RELEVENT.) until i check the time and we actually stop and rush out

shes in the opening scene so we RUN to the auditorium get to back stage and everyones like where have yall been?? and she made up some lie that i really cant remember i was just DYING. she goes up on stage and one of our mutual friends asks what really happened and im like nothing wdym and she says "your gloss is messed up and she doesn't wear lipgloss" and im just there like HMMM IDK GUYS. I DONT KNOW.

okay ill stfu now, thank you for letting me yap. i still cant fucking believe that. i also skipped over a LOT. cant tell my friends bc they would be real mad at me

–🍏 xx

OH OH OH OH EJEJEJRJRJRJRJEHE SHIT WHAT IS THUS DRAMA EXES TO LOVERS NDNDHDJDJDHDHD???

oh my dawg u better get ur girl back rn THATS LIKE PEAK TELEVISION TENSION BETWEEN U TWO OMGGGGGG wow. and plsss send more stuff like this that was fun to read

[backroomsbaddie555]

i thought i’d start doing little like journal entries that are really intricate and detailed and oversharey because i like the idea of knowing intricately about someone’s day despite not knowing them personally. anyway here goes

Wednesday in April

my day started off like many others do, with my alarm jolting me out of my sleep (very rudely might i add) and scaring me so much i simply cannot get back to sleep even if i wanted to and could. But this only counts if the alarm is set for anytime after 6am because i will not wake up at such times unless i am excited for something in the day ahead. if there is any other day a 6am alarm rings when there isn’t a need for it it’s usually to let me know that i a) have one more hour left to sleep or b) i forgot to turn it off. anyways, i took a moment this morning after scrolling on here to check how my body was feeling and my legs felt rough as balls so this then kickstarted the 10 minute back and forth i have in my mind about wether i should actually do today or not, but the sun was shining and i needed to write so i got out of bed anyway in hopes of being so busy i didnt have a minute to think or feel. i showered and picked out a cute outfit and made my way down to starbies to try and work on my essay in there but as i walked i peered into the window to see if my ex situationship’s best friend was working and he was. devastation. i felt awkward so i shuffled over quite sheepishly to the store across the road praying he hadn’t seen me too. I pretended to look for things for about 5 minutes and then shook my head like they didn’t have whatever i wanted and then left and made a beeline for the bus stop. i noticed an old bag who seemed very snotty and judgmental eyeing people up and down as i waited for the bus to arrive and i thought hmmm wonder why she’s so fucking bitter, but it was probably just the fact she was still alive. honestly living to very old age would piss me off too. then i got to my uni and i was the only person there, and i really only go to socialise seeing as i normally get more work done if i stay home. i was there now though so there i sat. every word felt like lifting a very large rock, honestly writing today felt a little like pulling teeth out without anaesthetic. just as i was wondering how i was going to kill this time i was offered to do a simulation experiment that was 45 mins long so obviously i did it… im pretty indifferent about it because if im honest there’s nothing impressive about my uni whatsoever so i expected a sub par experience. I did attempt to write more but it just got harder so i walked to the store across from my uni and browsed for lunch, i left with a salad as per usual. then i stood waiting for the bus home in the sun watching the cars go by and the wind flow through my hair as i listened to american teenager on repeat. i got home around 2pm ish. i ate my lunch and began watching a true crime doc but started to feel incredibly tired so i found a sunny spot on my bedroom floor and i slept in it for around 20 mins. i woke up feeling even more tired and scornful so i told myself i would do nothing but sleep and watch documentaries on my laptop in bed for the rest of the day and just as i had showered and changed my sister said she wanted me to come over. she’s been ill lately so i thought i’ll go over seeing as she’s a ten minute walk away. i go over and we talk about our lives and show each other clothes and giggle at the tv and order food until it started getting dark and i decided to walk back before it became pitch black because i had spooked myself by watching that true crime documentary earlier. i told myself when i got home i would do more work but ive not done any at all. in truth i got home, scrolled and scrolled and took some laundry off of the drying rack, filled my knock off stanley and took my tired ass to bed. currently i am contemplating taking a full rest day alone just for me tomorrow but also wondering wether my mental health would spiral if i were to do that. i’m not sure. i feel like i always have to be busy or asleep or with someone and i don’t know where that comes from.

goodnight :)