#ill go into it in a moment im just hmmm

[fruitwanderer]

Watching Last Life again and thinking about how the Life Series bleeds into HC

[i-cant-sing]

Just thinking about Yandere Todoroki clan and reader's random moments.

Reader coming home after a particularly bad day, but poor girl cant even cry or complain without everyone immediately overreacting and pulling you out of school/college or even keeping you from going out at all. So now, reader has to either cry in self pity before she enters her home, wipe her tears and fix herself just enough to show that she hadnt just bawled her eyes out moments ago. That, or do the more risky thing and go home, go to your room and cry under the covers, but then theres always the chance of Rei or the others walking in on you any moment.

Also thinking about baby/toddler reader being sick, just a common cold or flu, nothing major. But with reader whining and being so young, the family's infantalisation goes through the roof and theyd treat you as if you were immunocompromised. I wont lie, but I think Rei is almost kinda... glad when you get sick? She enjoys you being dependant on her for the most things, even when you grow up and are able to handle a cold, she still deludes herself into thinking that you need mommy to come and help you.

I think the one person who is most affected by reader getting sick, no matter what age, is Enji. The man just cant help but view you as a fragile, starving Victorian child the moment you fall ill. In his eyes, even a harsh blow of air is too much for a fragile thing like you, let alone something as bad as the flu. He just- he's holding toddler reader in his arms, who snuggles into his warm body, your tiny nose pink and he cant get the image of you crying and vomiting and being oh so feverish- thats just way too much for your small body. Oh how he almost cried when he took you to the doctor for a shot and you clung to him, trying to bury yourself into him as you begged him to make you feel better, cried to him that you didnt want to get the "big scary needle!" He just had to hold you there in his firm grip as you writhed, had to look away when you looked at him and he saw the feeling of betrayal in your eyes, had to keep himself from not strangling the fucking doctor for not being careful, had to walk out of the clinic and hand you to Rei because he couldnt hear you cry anymore, had to have Rei console both you and Enji (assuring him that "no, Enji. Y/n doesnt resent you for making her get a shot.") and he couldnt even sleep a wink that night because he was standing by your bed, holding your tiny hand with his pinky as a tear finally slipped out of his eye.

ALSO thinking about adult reader going out of the house to meet up with friends, except shes meeting up with them at a club instead of at their house like she told Enji and Rei, and now shes standing outside, abandoned by said friends, and shes now running because a group of pervy men are chasing her and she doesnt know who to call, so she just speed dials Shotou, except someone just changed all your speed dials to one number, and you think youre doomed when Shotou doesnt say a word to you and just hangs up when within minutes, someone comes in front of you-

"Dabi?" He tells you to cover your ears and look away, and you know well by know what that means, so you obey, feeling a bit regretful as those men begin to scream in agony. You dont know how long its been until Dabi pulls your hands away and examines your wounds. He lets you crash into his chest as you sob, and this time, Dabi simply decides to take you home quietly without a lecture.

Hmmm, also thinking about Natsuo who is usually cool as a cucumber, the most normal being in the family, except for his very rare episodes of unbridled rage where he suddenly becomes the Hulk. Good thing for you is that this anger is never directed towards you, rather towards people who actively threaten your life (except Rei cause she gets to play "Im your mom who became mentally unstable because of your abusive dad") The only time NAtsuo is stern with you is when it comes to your health. He's just looking at you with those strict eyes when you refuse to take your multivitamins, or dont want to get a flu shot, or try to make up an excuse so that he cant check your vitals. And when he just grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit down so that he can do his checkup, its in those moments that you realise just how strong your brother is... and how easy it may be for him to overpower you and sedate you if he ever followed through Rei's threats.

[creative-caramel-coffee]

can i request 6, 14, 12, 21 and j from the prompts list? thanks

More Migraines

Prompts:

j) throwing up on the floor

4) “let me feel your forehead, no buts, come here.”

6) “honey no your not gross, you cant help being sick sweetheart.”

21) “Your obviously not capable of walking I’m going to carry you. ready? one two three up!”

12) “love we need to check your temperature again. i know i know you hate it.”

Pairings: Wanda x R

Word count: 1.8K

Summary: Reader has been hiding migraines but what happens when the team needs her for a mandated (by Steve) bonding day?

TW: Vomiting, mini fever, migraine, nausea, collapse

A/n YELENA IS IN THIS ONE (and Natty of course)

It was only 9am and you were feeling the begginings of a headache budding behind your eyes. You internally groaned. For the past few months it hadnt been uncommon for you to get migraines. Of course you had done a fairly good job of hiding them. Not even Natasha was suspicious yet.

Although it wasnt unlike you to randomly hide out in your room. It was perhaps odd when you did it for multipul days but nat and wanda had simply dismissed it as it was often after intense missions.

However today was not a day after an intense mission. It wasnt even the day after a mission at all. It was a random Sunday. A Sunday the team was suppost to spend relaxing as a team. Tony had everything organised for a movie night tongiht in the compound cinema. Steve had planned a nice walk through the bush that was only a short drive away. Wanda had been preparing a fancy lunch for a matter of hours. Nat had contacted her sister to come join in. And the others were either indirectly helping or simply helping orgisnie. You however were not. The headache you woke with was blooming into a bigger probelm. One that was become harder to ignore. You had shown in to breakfast in your pjs and wordlessly taken a bowl of cereal before retreating back to your room.

The lights were off and you had an arm over your eyes in an attempt to block any light that was seeping through the windows. Looking at the time with blurry eyes and a pounding head you squinted to make out the time on the clock. 12:15. It wouldn’t be long until somone came looking for you. Steve had made it very clear this day was one nobody was allowed to miss.

A knock startled you despite having expected it. It seemed to reverberate around your skull. Echoing in pain throuhg your mind. You softly called out “come in” you replaced the arm over your eyes as the door opened. The familiar scent of pine nut and rain filled the room and you knew it was wanda in the doorway.

“Y/n/n?” She said peeking her head through the door. “Honey?” She asked again when she was met with silence. This time you groaned and her brow furrowed. “Sweetheart im coming in” she said gently closing the door behind her. A moment later your felt her hands tangling in your hair as it was brushed away from yoru face gently.

“Honey are you feeling alright?” She said softly. “let me feel your forehead, no buts, come here.” She said and shuffled closed as she laid the back of her hand across your forehead. Luckily you didnt seem too warm but you were a touch above normal. “Hmmm” she hummed. “Honey can you tell me what your feeling lovebug?” She cooed, hands going back to your hair.

“Migraine” you whispered and she visably softened.

“Oh sweets.” She said using a hand she got her magic to block out some more light so there was just enough to see and nothing more.

“Honey im going to go grab us some food okay? Ill be back in a minute.” She hushed and you whined softly as she withdrew her hand from your bed headed hair.

Wanda walked into the kitchen. She was worried. Who wouldn’t be? Nat raised an eyebrow as wanda returned without you.

“Where’s y/n?” Nat asked.

“Shes not feeling to hot so im gonna have lunch in her room with her.” Wanda said walking over and beginning to plate up two bowls of food. Yelena and Nat soon decended into a round of aggressive footsies under the table that left them both wiht brusied shins.

“Well im still expecting both of you to come on the walk after lunch.” Steve said frowning. Wanda sighed and nodded taking the bowls and leaving.

When wanda returned to the room her heart throbbed for you. You looked miserable. Curled in a ball with your arms tucked into yoru chest as you head rested on a mountain of soft pillows. Wanda made her way to your side, sitting on the bed and placing the bowls on the bedside table. She rested her back against the bedhead and swung her legs up. She heard you shuffle a bit and let out a low whine.

“Y/n/n i have some food for you hun.” She said and helped you into a sitting position. You curled into her side and keened softly from the pain in your head that the movement had brought.

When Wanda noticed you werent eating she softly began to bring the spoon to your lips and tapped them. With your eyes still shut you opened your mouth and allowed wanda to feed you.

when you had both finished eating you were still leaning into wandas side so she curled her body around you in a soft hug. It was comfortable and sweet. Both of you began dozing lightly. The pain behind your temples seemed to be only getting worse and your stomach was twisting in knots of Nausea.

Knowing what was going to happen you tried to be quick. Throwing yourself out of the bed and jolting wanda awake you stood on shaky legs and took one step before your knees buckled. You went sprawling landing on all fours your stomach lurched and your back arched as you started to heave. Wanda was by your side in an instant her cool hands holding your hair back as you started to throw up. Guilt washed over you as you felt bad wanda had gone to all the trouble of making such a nice lunch. But soon you were heaving again as you threw up more on the floor next to the bed. While you were still hurling your guts up you didnt hear the door open until Nat spoke.

“Jesus Wanda you weren’t kidding.” Nat said.

You were just dry heaving now with nothing left in your stomach. Before you collapsed wanda wrapped her arms around you and pulled you to the side so you were sat on her lap. Nat walked past and into the bathroom dodging the puddle. A moment later she returned and crouched infront of you away from the vomit. Carefully she used a damp cloth to wipe your mouth and hands clean. Wordlessly she handed you some mouthwash and a cup to spit it in. You were exhausted and wanda could tell. Taking the cup from your hands wanda passed it back to Nat who went into the bathroom again.

Carefully wanda hooked her arms under your knees and your back and paused when you whined.

“Your obviously not capable of walking I’m going to carry you. ready? one two three up!” Wanda said and she carefully lifted you and placed you back on the bed.

“Does your head feel better now? Are you going to be sick again?” Wanda asked.

“My head still hurts alot and I still feel sick but its not too bad.” You whispered and nat remerged with cleaning supplies.

“Her head?” Nat asked.

“Migraine.” Wanda said back in a hushed voice and Nat nodded. “Scoot over.” Wanda said as she slipped into bed next to you. Nat seemed unbothered as she started to clean the floor.

“‘M sorry Nat. Im gross” You said and Nat hushed you.

“Honestly y/n im more worried about you than cleaning the floor. I’ve delt with so much worse.” She said with a small smile. You nodded swollowing back tears and curled into wandas chest. Now it was wanda who spoke. “Honey no your not gross, you cant help being sick sweetheart.” She soothed. She was laid on her side blocking your view of the floor as she rubbed patterns on your back.

A moment later a knock sounded on the door and nat walked over and opened it.

“Ew it smells gross in here. What are you guys doing?” Yelena asked you grumbled somthing into wandas chest and flipped off yelena.

“Y/n was sick.” Nat said “Yelena can you tell steve we’re not coming on the walk.” Nat asked and yelena nodded before leaving to find steve.

When yelena left wanda looked down at you. “Love we need to check your temperature again. i know i know you hate it.” She said as you grumbled somthing and smushed your face further into her chest. Wanda carefuly peeled you back from her and laid a hand on your forehead.

“Hmmm still a little warm but im not sure.” You closed your eyes and felt her remove her hand, a moment later another cool hand pressed to your cheek, wearily opening yoiur eyes you saw Nat looking down at you.

“Your right Wands she’s a little warm but nothing too bad. I can grab a cool cloth for her if you’d like?” Nat offered.

“That would be great thank you natasha.” Wanda said. Nat nodded and returned a moment later with a damp red cloth. She laid it over your closed eyes and you hummed in content.

“That good y/n/n?” Wanda asked chuckling and you nodded slighlty. “Good.” She said placing a kiss on the crown on your head. Another few minutes passed and Nat went and sat on the edge of the bed. The bed was huge thanks to tonys money and could easily fit four or five people.

A knock sounded on the door again and you winced at the sound. Wanda covered your ears with her hands and called softly for the person to come in. Yelena opened the door and flopped down on the bed kicking her shoes off.

“Shes not contagoius right? Cuz i dont feel like puking my guts out later.” Yelena said and natsha rolled her eyes.

“Shes got a migraine.” Nat deadpanned.

“Oh ok. In that case do yeed anything y/n/n” yelana said patting your leg.

“No.” You muttered.

“Cool. Well steve was annoyed but the four of us can stay here while they go on a walk. I was thinking we could watch somthing.” She said and wiggled up on the bed next to Nat. All four of you laid on the bed now and there was still room. Yelena was next to Nat who was next to wanda who you were currently cuddled into.

“Y/n what do you want to watch?” Nat asked.

“Ask wanda im probably not going to watch it and can you put the volume on soft for me please?” You whispered the red cloth still over your eyes.

“Sure. Wanda?” Nat asked.

“Can we watch a sitcom?” Wanda said sheepishly.

“I dont see why not. Any in particular?” Nat said.

“What about the dick van dyk show?” You said and wanda nodded.

“Coming right up.” Nat said scrolling before she found it and pressed play. You began to drift to sleep which is exaclty where the boys found you a couple hours later. In a cuddle pile with wanda, natsha and yelena all curled around you on the big bed.

It was good to have a family that loved you. And it was even better to have that family be the avengers.

MASTERLIST

[chickenkurage]

Hey JM and Spongey!

Been a while since i open this app again,school is being a pain in my life rn. But did u watch the new video! Like,wtf did i just watch? I waited for over a year or so...just for my otp to be destroyed?!

I do like Mitsi x Victim,im just inlove with Agentvic(my beautiful memory). It been 2 days right? Since my otp is destroyed,i was crying so damn hard bro. We know more abt Vic and his life,why did he want to find Chosen so bad,why is he so evil and how did he escape,also some more Chosen and Dark moment! But at what cost? :(((

I swear on my life,i just need to survive this week and next week then ill be free from this hell situation! Then ill be free (im vietnamese,this shit is normal)

I got a bunch of theories written when i saw it! But ill just tell u one! (I aint writting all of that). Do u think Mitsi is dead or alive? Idk,i cant be so sure! Becuz we havent seen the body! No body mean there is still a chance,right?

Also,what was ur thought abt the new video(and abt this ask too). Becuz as i can see,im becoming a multishipper rn,help. And what do u think abt one-sided Agentvic or Vicagent?

Yeah, we watched it together during its premiere and here I was going crazy about the revelation and Spongey is like "hmmm YES." IT WAS A FUN WATCH AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT EPISODE X33

In Spongey's own words, "Yeah, she's dead lmao."

Personally, "Yeah she's dead lmao."

It's probably the null hypothesis in this situation XDD. Unless more hints are shown that Mitsi is still alive, yeahh we stand by the thought she's dead cause like the attack was literally aiming to where she is! But Mitsi... My girl :'((

About the whole video, it's just funny to me how Victim was first introduced as this ruthless boss who's cold and calculating and yada yada, then the video came out and Victim is just being a cutie patootie with Mitsi <33

Another thought, heh, a donut head eating a donut lol

And the one-sided VicAgent, Spongey absolutely LOVES it. She has a thing for unrequited love XDD. While here I am just being, "Aww unrequited love :<." I'm fine with any ships as long as it's legal :PP - JM

[whoreanghae]

familiar ; kwon soonyoung

genre - strangers to lovers, meetcute, y/n works at a cafe

word count - 1.8k

disclaimers - lowercase on purpose, no proofreading, fic under the cut

a/n - soooo its been a while... ive had a very busy 2023 and a very severe case of writers block, but i wanted to write a cute hoshi fic about a cafe so this is what we get. im also in the works of writing a longer fic like my last one, but that wont be out for a bit, its still very early stages. regardless, i hope u enjoy this messy lil hoshi fic! (because i wouldnt be whoreanghae without a little hoshi here and there) its just sweet and warm and fuzzy etc etc hope u enjoy xoxo k

“order up!”

life working in the cafe was nothing short of fast paced. you were constantly making drinks or baked goods that in a 6 hour shift you were basically running around the entire time. you had no way of pointing out specific things or people, it was just go, go, go. you were used to the environment, and you enjoyed how you had no time to dwell on mistakes or mishaps. you simply had to move on to the next task. 

this day things werent as hectic as they usually were, so you were testing out new drinks and snacks for the menu. as you started pouring milk into an empty cup for the next round of testing, you heard the bell above the door jingle and quickly poured the last cup of milk and turned around. the man who stood a couple feet away from the counter was what you would call ‘a familiar’. you dont see him enough to call him a regular, but you see him just enough that he stands out when you see him walk in. he was one of those people you still noticed out of the rest even in one of those fast paced busy days. you watch as his eyes scan the menus above your head, and he taps his foot as he tries to decide what to order. after 20 seconds or so he steps up to the counter and smiles. you give him a smile back.

“welcome back! what’ll it be today?” 

“hmmm, im thinking ill go for something matcha today. maybeeeee a medium iced matcha latte?”

you hum and nod as you press buttons on the register. 

“good choice, good choice, can i get you anything else today?”

“and a large iced americano!”

“allllright, ill get started on that for you now.”

you shoot him another smile as he takes out his card and taps it on the machine. you spin around and start getting out the ingredients to make his drinks. everytime he comes in, he always gets a different drink from the menu for himself, then a large iced americano. every time, a large iced americano. you just assume the drink is for a girlfriend or someone, and continue on with your day. as much as youd never admit it, some days you kind of wish he stops ordering the americano. its not that you dont want the cafe getting any sales, its just that he is handsome. so handsome. and you dont want to make a fool of yourself and hit on a guy with a girlfriend. so as long as hes ordering the large iced americano, youll keep to yourself. 

you whip up the drinks and bring them to the other end of the counter, as his head pops up and he comes over to pick up the drinks. he thanks you, and you wish him a good day as he heads out the door again. you sigh, watching him leave with that damn large iced americano in his left hand.

your coworkers start to pick up on your little thing for mr familiar, so everytime they see him coming, theyre coincidentally busy in that moment. he comes in a couple times again throughout the week, still ordering the americano. you still shoot him the same smile, wishing him well, and watching him leave with the drinks in tow. one day, just one day, he wont order the americano and youll be able to make a move. but, that just wasnt the day.

one day when work is particularly dead, youre sitting at a table a few feet away from the counter eating your lunch when the door bell rings again. you look up, and youre met with mr familiar yet again. you wave meekly as he smiles and nods your way. your coworker serves him, since you had just sat down. you try to not look at him, or listen to what hes ordering. hes just another customer, why do you wonder so strongly what drinks he had just ordered? you push it out of your mind as you try to finish your sandwich. out of the corner of your eye you see your coworker place a drink and something else on the counter, and mr familiar walks to the counter and picks it up. but, instead of hearing the door bell yet again, you’re instead met with a figure standing over your table. 

“is this seat taken?”

he gestures to the chair opposite you at the small table. you shake your head and nod for him to sit down. he places his drink and sandwich on the table and grins at you. you try to stop the tips of your ears from turning red, but you can feel the heat blazing from the side of your head. you both eat your lunch as you make small talk. you learn that he actually goes to your school, which is just down the block. hes a dance major, which piques your interest even more. it turns out that he has a really cute laugh, and loves tigers. you tell him about your self, and he listens intently the entire time. he nods his head along with your stories which makes you smile to yourself. you check your watch, realizing that the lunch rush is about to start. 

“im so sorry to cut this short, but i have to get back to work, the lunch rush is about to start and i cant leave them high and dry.”

“oh no worries at all! i have a class at 1:00 anyways, its probably time for me to head back now too.”

“it was really nice talking to you.”

“it was nice talking to you too, wait, here-”

he rummages in his pocket, pulling out a crumpled up receipt and a pen. he scrawls something on the back of the paper, and shoves it into the pouch of your apron. you laugh at his urgency as he puts the pen back into his pocket and heads out the door. he waves as he walks past the front windows, and you wave back in a sort of shock. you pull the crumpled paper out of your apron and read it. the paper reads “Soonyoungie~” and his number. as you read this, you realize you never even gave him your name. you see a string of customers begin to roll in, so you shove the receipt into your back pocket and get back to work.

as the day comes to an end and youre sitting in your bed in your pajamas, you keep turning the receipt over and over in your hands. you trace the letters and numbers with your fingers so much that you think they might soon rub off the paper. do i text him? how long do i wait? did i wait too long? you stare at the receipt until you fall asleep, paper in hand. you wake up the next morning to the receipt laying on the floor next to your bed. you pick it up, grab your phone, and carefully type the numbers into a new contact. you make sure to reread it about 20 times, before naming the number “soonyoung” and flopping back onto your bed. 

you get to work, and youre staring at the empty text conversation between you and mr familiar, who youve now discovered is ‘soonyoung’. then, you quickly realize that you didnt tell him your name. your palm connects with your forehead as you realize that youre probably just ‘cafe girl’ to him at this point. you see your manager walk out of the back room in the corner of your eye, so you put your phone back into your pocket so she doesnt shout at you. it feels like your phone is weighing you down, whispering ‘text him, text him’ into your ear as you mix drinks. you push soonyoung to the back of your mind, trying to just get through this shift. 

the cafe is booming this day, customers are constantly in and out and there are so many people that the tables are all filled. you and your coworkers are switching out with each other between cleaning/serving tables, working the cash, and making the orders. it just so happens that your shift as the cashier had just started when you see a familiar face coming in. soonyoung smiles as he sees you, and glances at the menu before coming up to the counter. you beam at him as he looks at you over the counter. you notice another guy next to him, looking around the cafe in awe.

“hi soonyoung! whats on the menu today?” 

“a large vanilla latte for me, and a large iced americano for my friend.”

you blink to yourself as you type in the order. large iced americano… large iced americano… the large iced americano wasnt for a girlfriend, it was for a friend. the man next to soonyoung had a kind smile, and he radiated warm energy. you give both of them a grin as you gesture to the machine and watch as soonyoung taps his card yet again. 

“so what are you two doing out today?”

“we both had some time between classes, and i always bring seungkwan americanos from here because he says theyre the best in seoul, so today i convinced him to come with me.”

“ahhh, well im glad you enjoy them, seungkwan.”

he gives a smile back as you hear soonyoungs name called from the end of the counter. 

“have a good day you two!”

“you too, y/n!”

soonyoung calls back as he heads out the door and you move on to your next customer. wait. he knew your name? how did he know your name? the interaction lingers in your mind throughout every customer you serve until youre about to close. you think about it over and over again, and bring it up to one of your coworkers.

“hey, did you tell that guy soonyoung my name?”

“huh? no, why?”

“its weird, he came in and he knew my name..”

“honey, did you forget whats right here?”

she pats your chest, and you look down at your apron. you feel like an idiot. name tag. thats how he knew. your coworker laughs and pats your back as she goes back into the breakroom. you clean off the counters and take out your phone and quickly type out a message. 

y/n : hey soonyoung! this is y/n from the cafe :) 

you stare at the message for what felt like hours, and reluctantly turn your phone off and go back to cleaning up so you can go home. as youre putting the containers of milk back into the fridge, you hear your phone buzz on the counter and spin around.

soonyoung : hey y/n!

soonyoung : how is/was work? 

the message makes you smile, as you send another one and push your phone across the counter, flustered.

y/n : it got better after i saw a certain familiar face :))

[tonydaddingham]

UM.

Update 2: okay fine then, fuck it (she says still suspicious that there's no way neil would ever confirm a s3 plot point so of course he'd say this BUT THEN AGAIN if time were stopped why would the clock move UGH if it is an error ill be so upset)

UPDATE: so neil answered this but hmmm? now i know fuck all about jack shit admittedly but idk, presumably the first half of the scene where crowley confesses was filmed in at least a few takes? or pieced together in a few takes? and the clock is resolutely at 0925, indicating it would have been stopped? then the second half, just before aziraphale leaves the shop, it's jumped by 15 minutes... precisely.

even if filmed on different days/different calls, you'd expect the clock to have changed hours too...? and i cant imagine that a whole ass week after s2 release that neil would reveal anything about s3 which by all accounts he hasnt finished and can't finish writing yet... yeah im not convinced 100% it's a continuity error

so here is where you witness rhi shit on every single thing she has written including the interpretation written with visceral conviction that I Forgive You was written in response to crowley tempting aziraphale with the kiss. but the thing is, i cant believe that neil 'master of detail' gaiman, douglas 'every prop is important' mackinnon, and co. would let this continuity error slide (*side eye to crowley's sideburns and glasses change*):

now i sincerely hope that this isn't a 'crowley stops time and they actually decide that they're going to swap places/come up with a whole plan to save the world etc without discussing their Problems' incident, because as it stands narratively i feel that could be a little cheap

but possibly more a 'crowley stops time to stay in this below moment and they talk a bit more, but ultimately argue a bit more too and realise that neither as of yet is going to see each others' whole perspective but hey communication of any kind is a revelation for these dummkopfs' moment

like, i still hope there's angst going into s3. i need these two to be worlds apart from each other so they fully recognise the void that the lack of the other has left, and actually their ideological differences a) can be discussed and reconciled, and b) are perhaps not actually that different after all

but whatever potentially happens in those 15 minutes i hope still explains the absolutely devastated look on aziraphale's face, the I Forgive You, the glance back to Crowley before he gets in the lift, aziraphale steeling himself in the lift before he arrives in heaven... does crowley actually confess to aziraphale who he is? who he was before the fall? why he can never go back? why he can never be forgiven in the first place?

this has set my mind on FIRE

[theprinceandthewitch]

Okay but, even though I dislike TTT for making the characters sit on their asses for months for no reason [like seriously, Im not sure why they're wasting time building a door without titan blood. Luz and Hunter both know a door will not work without titan blood.] It's the most entertaining episode of the season for me. When I first watched this episode I wasn't bored like i was with the other two episodes.

It's not just because of the Lunter bonding and Lunter hints - it's that they wrote the episode in such a way where it looks like Hunter is homewrecking Luz's and Amity's relationship. If you were to insert yourself into Amity's POV it looks like Hunter has a thing for Luz. And that is soooo funny to me.

like seriously,

Luz and Amity have been clinging to each other since they came to the human realm. The only time she isnt with Luz is when Luz is at school and this specific day TTT takes place on. This is one of the rare moments Amity isn't with Luz and she's going to be busy for many hours trying to figure out the mystery behind the rebus.

Amity inspires the others to venture into the human realm with her so they can figure out the mystery behind the rebus. Everyone is ready to go into town but Hunter needs to change his outfit because Amity thinks its cringe. So Hunter is like, okay, ill change and catch the next bus into town.

And then he never shows up

So it's like, hmmm, I wonder where Hunter could be on a day Amity isn't clinging to Luz and is going to be in town for many hours...

AND THEN - the next time anyone else sees him, he comes through the door with Luz lying about where they've been and what they've been doing. It's an obvious lie but no one questions it.

At the faire Amity tells everyone - including Hunter - that she wants to surprise Luz with the rebus after the carriage ride. However, after the "Wittebane Backstory" carriage ride is over Hunter and Luz completely disappear. Amity literally takes her eyes off of them for a moment and they vanish.

Then Gus says THIS as a response to Amity's worry: "Calm down. They probably just went to buy some more cars."

His dialogue here never fails to make me laugh because it sounds like Gus is covering for his bro 😭 and it's even funnier when you realize Gus just retold Hunters lie lksjdsldf

Anyways, right after Gus tells her to calm down, Amity notices the rebus is missing... She knows Luz wouldnt take it because she literally does not know it exists. HUNTER knows about the rebus though - AND he knows Amity wanted to surprise Luz with it. So its like... Why would he take it when he knows she wanted to surprise her girlfriend with it? He must have put two and two together during the carriage ride and knew the rebus was actually going to lead to titan blood [they were unsure if it was going to lead to titan blood initially].

But... that doesn't explain why he would take it... everyone was going to go get the titan blood together right after the ride. Perhaps... Hunter wanted to impress Luz by taking all the credit for uncovering the mystery behind the rebus even though he never showed up when they were looking for information about the rebus in town... That's so strange... why would he do that?

...You dont think he has a thing for Luz do you?

Let me remind you that no one else besides Luz and Hunter think Belos is still alive. Hunter didnt want anyone else to know because he doesnt want to scare them. So Hunter and Luz just VANISHING into thin air is very sus. And then the missing rebus makes their sudden disappearance even more sus because Hunter knows Amity wanted to surprise Luz with it. Also, nobody knows why Hunter stole the rebus from Amity - they NEVER get the answer to this mystery. Hunter - nor Luz - never tell them why he stole it. He never tells them he stole it because he thought Belos was alive. So, it is perfectly logical for them to assume Luz and Hunter DIDNT know Belos was alive UNTIL he intercepted them at the graveyard. Edit: So they can assume Hunter took it so that he could impress Luz with the discovery of the titan blood.

It's so fucking funny to me. It makes it extra funny because they wrote such juicy drama UNINTENTIONALLY. This is the perfect storm for Amity to know about Hunter knowing Luzs secret before she did. It also the perfect set-up for confrontation between Hunter and Amity.

[youremyheaven]

How should a woman know if a man has truly genuinely fallen for her and it's strong? What are the key signifactors to tell so?

Is arm guy your first love? Like true love?👀👀👀

How would you know? 🙈will it make you sad and jealous finding out he actually loved someone else before you? *Hypothetically*

Would it be okay if they stayed friend's with that person?

Ive been thinking about this topic about men and love. Tho experiences vary for people but as per some stats is it true that a man's first love or relationship is always going to be a significant part of them whether unrequited or heartbreak? They just can't forget them and unable to love the same as they did the first time? Even if it means dating, getting married and having a child

wowww these are some bigggg questions hmmm

ill try to answer them to my best ability (im prepared for my future self to laugh at me lmao but i trust that future heaven's in good hands<33)

How should a woman know if a man has truly genuinely fallen for her and it's strong? What are the key signifactors to tell so?

for me, love is as love does. this means, love is an ability not an emotion.

i HIGHLY recommend reading all about love by bell hooks. i read it for the first time as a 18-19yr old and it CHANGED me as a person. i think every person, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, should read it.

a lot of us have been conditioned to believe that love is this mysterious fluttery emotion that just randomly strikes us one day. whilst its possible to experience that, its important to not let our own understanding of love be limited to that. love is not just what we feel, its what we do.

if i say i love my dog but dont feed him or wash him, then what kind of love would that be?

a lot of people fail to grasp the psychology of abuse and why its hard for victims of abuse (myself included) to leave their abusers. its because despite everything, there is love there. there are moments of tenderness, warmth and affection. any wounded person would stay trying to lap up whatever little they get no matter how excruciating the relationship may be otherwise. it requires a different kind of personal healing to be dissatisfied with breadcrumbs and BELIEVE you're worthy of someone's love and affection ALL THE TIME.

if you love someone, you TREAT them well. you speak to them kindly. not just when it suits you BUT ALL THE TIME. yes ALWAYS. no matter the situation, there is a way to approach it with grace!! you think of their needs/interests/where they're coming from. you do things without asking or being asked. you do what is necessary.

if you love someone and they say they're hungry, you get them food. instead of saying "why dont you eat?". i remember the first night my pookie I were hanging out, I was experiencing some personal difficulties and he stayed with me the entire day, leaving his work behind and I went home really late that night and he bought me dinner to take home with me even though I refused because he knew I was alone and had a distressing day🥹🥹its a small gesture perhaps but the fact that he was so thoughtful and considerate really warmed my heart. 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬the fact that he knew I was a girl alone in the city, vulnerable, sad and in distress and treated me with the utmost grace and kindness 🧿🪬🧿🪬and what makes me melt is how I know that he would treat anybody in that position the same way because that's who he is as a human being, he is sensitive, kind and generous. if you think about it, he had no reason to be there for me. after all, i had rejected him and given him the cold shoulder, he could just tell me to buzz off when I called him in the middle of the afternoon of a workday lol but he didn't 🥺🥺

(this was a tangent)

you'll know a man loves you when is sensitive towards you and your needs. when he is attentive towards you. remembers your likes and dislikes. when he is protective and caring. ive always believed that when we're in love, we awaken the maternal/paternal instinct within us because biologically that's how we're rooted to care for others, i.e, by being nurturing and considerate. like if you're vegetarian and your bf takes you to a steakhouse, thats 🚩if they love you, they'll do every possible thing to make your life easier. obviously not all men express love in the same way.

but regardless of his personality, the important factor here is that he WILL SHOW IT in REAL TANGIBLE WAYS. maybell he'll get you a cheesecake, maybe he'll buy you flowers, maybe he'll write you letters or sing you songs or whatever but HE WILL SHOW YOU. he will make you feel special.

if a man does not make you feel special in any way, that means you're not special to him. which means he does not love you.

Is arm guy your first love? Like true love?👀👀👀

i fell in love for the first time when i was 17 and it changed me as a human being so that was my first love 😭 its too soon to say anything about arm guy etc yet 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬but he is a lovely human being and a GREEN FLAG AF 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬ask me again in a few months and hopefully then i'll have a better answer to this question hehe<333

How would you know? 🙈will it make you sad and jealous finding out he actually loved someone else before you? *Hypothetically*

he said he's only been in 2 relationships before and i somehow get the feeling that they weren't super lovey dovey 🧐🤔i dont know the full details of those relationships rn (one of them was with an older woman- altho she's only 2yrs older than him and they met at the gym??? lol?? but idk her vibes felt off to me 😒)

i think i'll know in that moment (that its love) and ofc ill yap about it here hehe lmaooo . i cant say what or how itll happen bc im not God 😭😭

i wont be sad if he's been in love before because i know that nothing could come close to what we have or how we are with each other 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬i feel very secure about that so nope hehe

Would it be okay if they stayed friend's with that person?

it depends on the person and the situation tbh,, some men have complicated relationships with their exes and thats what makes you feel like he'll go back to her any minute.

arm guy has been single for like 2 years, his ex moved overseas and all the roads are clear. if they occasionally reply to each others stories (which is what im assuming you mean by staying friends with an ex lmao) idc tbh lol

Ive been thinking about this topic about men and love. Tho experiences vary for people but as per some stats is it true that a man's first love or relationship is always going to be a significant part of them whether unrequited or heartbreak? They just can't forget them and unable to love the same as they did the first time? Even if it means dating, getting married and having a child

YESSS

This I wholeheartedly believe in. If you meet a man, you can always tell if he's had a significant "love" in his life. Because that will change you as a human being and the mark of that first love will be visible to anyone. Its like a wound you carry with you. you nurse it, you cover it up but its there. Men who've had that first love + heartbreak are a different species compared to men who haven't. They have that weariness to them, they understand women differently, they look at the world differently. First love + heartbreak builds character like NOTHING else ever could.

whenever men have that boyish sweet innocent vibe, I know they haven't known a "real" love and heartbreak yet. Thats the thing that makes a boy a man. And he will NEVER ever forget that woman until the day he dies.

men aren't wired the same way women are. male friendships are very low maintenance and low effort. the only space where men CAN share their emotions or be emotionally intimate with someone and share themselves deeply is in a romantic relationship. UNLIKE women who have profoundly deep relationships with other women as well. what this means is that, being in love, for a man, is 100x more vulnerable than it is for a woman because just the emotional intimacy of being that close to someone, sharing things with them, talking to them about stuff etc is BRAND NEW for them. imagine if you, as a woman, never had a friend before and made one for the very first time. wouldnt you be so cautious, nervous, scared, worried about every little thing etc because you dont want to lose them??

men lowkey get mad when they fall in love because it makes them sooo vulnerable, when usually they can just talk about football and drink a beer and go home. now he has to BE A PERSON and FORM A CONNECTION and its scary asf.

no man will ever forget the first woman he opened up to that way, the first woman he fell in love with. its his first taste of being seen as a human being.

even if it was unrequited love. the act of loving someone can make us more deeply human than anything else. it humbles us. it grounds us. even if they never love us back, we cant help but love them. there's nothing more profoundly humanizing than that.

i hope this answer helps<333

love,

Heaven

[gotham-mockingbird]

So I’m chronically ill and have chronic pain so my pain level scale is a bit different

Im always at a normal person like 3-4 so when I start my scale at 1 it starts at what a normal persons would be so to relate to my wife I add 3-4 to whatever pain I feel

Right now I’m at a me 4 (which would be a normal persons 7) because of my recent stress anxiety and activities

To me it’s just a four and I can ignore it but I know if my brother sister aunt etc. had this pain they’d be incapacitated yet I’m still the lazy one even tho I got this pain from cleaning my entire three story apartment in between visits to my sick dad an hour away

I hate being put down for listening to my body in the past while currently stressing my body out so bad that my anxiety is manifesting into muscle pain and still visiting my dad

I was talking to my dad about being disabled (ranting about my insurance) and I saw my sisters head pop up from her laptop right as I said it and I could see the exasperation on her face

My family has a bad habit of ignoring the fact that I’m disabled and even refusing it altogether. I wish more than anyone that I wasn’t disabled

I’d love to go back to work and help disabled and elderly people but I myself need someone to help me. Doing that job was killing me. I loved that job but it was the blind leading the blind.

One of my clients got me sick and I couldn’t go to work for a week and then I tried going back after I got better but I was still feeling it and went in with a mask. She told me she couldn’t afford getting sick and that I needed to leave.

That’s the moment I knew that line of work wasn’t for me, because of my mental and physical disabilities. I’m just ranting at this point.

The edible I took for my pain is kind of kicking in and I’m getting itchy and tired wait I might take a warm bath

Hmmm

Maybe

Eat my Taco Bell

Who knows

My cat is now on my hip and making biscuits so I’ll be here a while

Say hi to Dan

He’s purring

Oh yeah

Moral of the story: don’t be mean to disabled people we wish we were normal too you don’t gotta make us feel like shit for what we can’t do 👏🖕

Update: I’m now at a 5.3 (8.5) and I haven’t had a bath or Taco Bell

[mekatrio]

ANYWAYS before i do um whats apparently the good end?? true end??? aka doors 5 -> 8 -> 6, this is what i think of every character..

1 -> FAWKINGGGG WEIRDO like seriously seriously ok first i thought maybe ace is a weirdo scientist who knows more than he lets on maybe hes an insider for zero or something but also like.. he has said some very weird stuff like during the search for ace hes like 'why wouldnt you think snake and clover are siblings? oh yeah bc they dont look alike' and also ohhhh my god i swear hes said something else that was rly weird but i cannot for the life of me recall what it was. but essentially the two weird things hes said gives off the air of like. a dude who knows jackshit abt the world.. like hes a test tube baby fresh out the tube or something idk. which again is even more weird considering how like... how to say.. like hes manipulated the events of the game a lot yknow like he was adamant in making sure that ppl dont suspect one another of being zero 🤨🤨🤨 and then he goes and drugs himself so we go in doors 3 7 or 8 without him, and if i go into door 1 he'll reveals that he knows junpei's trick w the paper and just then he went off somewhere with lotus leaving me to be SLAUGHTERED by clover like hes sooooo weird whats his deal. hes also really funny too HAH like an old man loser but srsly i dont completely trust him in the slightest i still think hes involved w snake's disappearances somehow mmhm

2 -> snake is cool as fuck like such a chill guy im sooo sad i can only do two rooms with him b4 he fawking disappears so i really am suspecting that he is inside of that coffin and ill get to do room 9 with him clover and seven pleaseee please please. other than that like I dont knowww i dont know why he disappeared.. his outfit is kinda similar to the man w the 0 bracelet so like Maybe that means something yknow i think it might mean something hmm both him and clover were previous subjects of the nonary game 9 years ago so maybe he knows his way around the ship and knows like secret passages or whatever? and also like... if he is in that coffin then whos the dead person in the shower room?? so mysteriously mysterious

3 -> funny as fuck guy who BETRAYED ME but really i wonder whats his deal huh. shockingly learned that he had a sister in the prev bad end and also hmmm its seems veryyy likely that he was another test subject too just like clover and snake. but yet they dont recognize one another as such which is ? alsooo just theorizing but i feel like him + clover + junpei + june are the same age and related to those missing children somehow and also i wonderrrrr if his sister is the girl who died hmmm? ive said multiple times like what if the one who died is akane's twin or something which yeah i think is still plausible but santa has had a few random instances of being pretty melancholic which makes me wonder if he was close to the girl who died or something yknow... also like what was that whole thing abt the black and white santa like seriously What was that it made me laugh but also ???? to me it feels like its continuing the theme of theseus' ship that has been recurring in this game 🤔

4 -> im still befhwefbjfe from the latest ending like myyyy goodness i was genuinely surprised by her tenacity to kill people cold bloodedly like goddamn. its not too surprising but its still??!? pretty surprising?!??! i still think shes a kind and cute girl but like yeah idk what else to say abt her umm i wonder if her and snake are actually siblings yknow... hmm......

5 -> THE PRESIDENT OF WEIRDO CENTRAL like seriously he might be the weirdest one of them all he reminds me of phoenix wright in the way that theyre both protagonists who i play as and yet i barely know a thing abt and i have a feeling that junpei knows more abt things that r going on than i as the player do.. cuz like firstly hes had all those rando joker moments and also hes kinda had like???? weirddd reactions to things?? like these

and not just that but also like jfc i barely know anything abt his past.. ive already said this but it bears repeating but srsly why did he grow apart from akane! they both like each other so... what happened!!! OH and also in room 8 him and lotus have a weird exchange where junpei is like 'What The Fuck Is A Wireless Display' and honestly idk whose the weird one in that situation like is it lotus for working w wireless displays or is it junpei for not knowing what that is. idk when this game was released and whether bluetooth was a thing yet. whatttt is with this dude

6 -> vice president of weirdo central... kinda not really. but yeah ive already commented on her a lot and i dont rly wanna repeat myself so to keep it brief maybe shes got a twin who died + shes probably one of the kids who got experimented one + her random fevers might be her remembering something the way seven remembered shit (or maybe shes like junpei and is also in whatever this time travel thing is??)

7 -> similarly to akane ive kinda already said everything i find weird abt this guy the main thing being that its kinda suspicious how the doors he leaves unlocked are the ones that lead a trail to a dead body w a bracelet like Hmmmmm okkk

8 -> these are getting shorter cuz im getting hungry LOL but shes also another person ive commented a lot on. i started off thinking she was a weirdo scientist involved w the nonary game and while i still think shes a scientist of some sort, the torture room revealed she didnt know abt the nonary game her children went thru which makes me change my mind. wait also omfg why the hell is there a torture room on this boat. i guess this is the gigantic (war ship) huh. ALSO who killed her in that ending huh! i feel like its ace tbh cuz the game said 'the person who would gain the most from getting lotus' bracelet killed her' and seeing ace has the lowest number while lotus has the highest like doesnt that make senseee. but yeah as of rn i think her outfit means she has some sort of connection to alice (maybe shes researching her?) and i still think shes a #LadyInSTEM

9 -> and whats this dudes deal huh..... he probably knows zero well in some way.. but other than that i dont know a thinggg. but also yknow considering that clover (and meee) think that snake is still alive somehow in spite of that exploded body, and that i think snake is the one banging on that coffin, this would then mean that body in the shower room is a "fake" somehow.. and wouldnt that mean that the body of the 9th man in the 5th room corridor also be a faked one somehow?? and maybe just maybe the 9th man is the one who killed us in some endings... maybe.. idk... itll be very junko enoshima if thats the case lol. but yeah i still have my thoughts on him.... HMMMM

[suckishima]

haikyuu rewatch s01e02

episode 2 wheee. i dont remember the actual details of the rest of season one as clearly as i did episode 1, i think its been 4ish years since ive properly sat down and watched each episode so this will be interesting from here on out, im excited!

lmao interesting that the first thing the camera zooms in on when hinata sees kageyama in the gym for the first time is his shoes??? and then the "karasuno" on his school pe uniform and THEN his face? were his shoes an iconic identifier to hinata?? lmaooo

rules for myself on this (or any tbh) rewatch: never skip the intro songs

i have such a special place in my heart for "imagination." it has unlocked something in my soul

honestly its such a compliment that kageyama remembers hinata, especially when we see into his thoughts a bit here and the things he remembers arent that hinata was some who cried about beating him next time they see each other, but rather he remembers hinatas crazy athletic ability and how much it irked kageyama that hinata wasnt living up to his potential lmao

this is the first indication we get that kageyama doesnt like being called 'king.' in the first ep hinata call him king to his face and kageyama doesnt react at all, but here it bothers him immediately. which of course, makes sense bc The Incident hadnt happened yet when they first met and now it has, but interesting to notice now bc i dont think i caught on to the difference my first time through. i dont think most people would lol and its a nice attention to detail

lmaooo tanaka already making faces

and whyyyy is hinata skirting around like hes trying to herd them like sheep?? ashjaska

hmmm translation error or dialogue error that tanaka is calling all three of them third years? my japanese isnt good enough to tell hmm. just checked the manga panel and its more like hes telling suga to show more 'third year intimidation' rather than including himself in that like the show's subs do. probably a translation thing where it was vague in terms of who it was referring to and that was the interpretation they went with before its confirmed that tanaka is a second year

awww yeah its nice that suga daichi and tanaka remember hinata too!! i wonder if they talked about that match afterwords lmao

"youre way short and sucked bad, but you've got guts!" "thanks!" lmaoooooo

ive never watched the dub but ive seen a few compilation videos and i cant look at this face tanaka's making and think anything other than 'cojones' lmaooo

'youve trained at this with the old ladies' ajkhsajks

waaaahhhh moment of silence for all the beautiful serve/spike pencil sketch animations that we'll never see again. you were so gorgeous and we loved you so much, im sorry youre gone

hinata slides in so quickkkkk for that receive, and ive always loved how slick and epic it looks only for the ball to immediately ricochet up into his face l m a o so good

vp's cinematic cheek ripple and flying wig is just a bonus lol

ooooo more small detail! the shot of the vp's bald head where hinata is surprised kageyama couldnt tell the hair was fake - hinata has all these little red marks on his face where the ball hit him!! nice!

also daichi is so resigned when he takes the wig off his head lmaoo

aww ive never noticed these quick shots of young daichi walking thinking about going to karasuno, cute!

the way they both immediately start begging to be let in and like 'just tell me how to be teammates ill do it!!' they love vb more than anything, they just wanna playy

kajhsaksa and kageyama literally pushing hinata away before declaring that he'll get along with him 😭 bro has no idea how to get along

"let me ask you something. are you actually stupid?" baksjhagsas hes so genuineeee, and hes right aghsajsa

oooooooo yesss love this wide shot of team practicing block follows only to pan out past the bars of the window to show hinata watching from outside yessss

"if i can play volleyball, i'll endure anything" 😭

right.. the unnecessary anime-only shimizu ""fanservice"" shots. furudate would never (and did never). interesting that this sort of thing never really happens again after a certain point. i always wondered if they realized their core audience wasnt here for that kind of thing at all so they dropped it (and bc like i said,,, its not in the manga lmao. the closest thing is the nishinoya/kanoka thing and the saeko/yachi jealousy thing and both of those are 1 for humor rather than sexualization and 2 make sense for the characters whereas this anime moment is literally just the camera being a creep for no reason lol) (you CANNOT convince me it's meant to be kageyama's pov checking her out. possibly hinata would but im still doubtful lol)

the first appearance of tanaka's big ear lmao, love that this becomes a thing whenever he's overhearing

gotta love how passionate kageyama is about being setter, fully talking with his hands lol

how did i not fall in love with tanaka sooner, i thought he was so weird and meh my first time through. i was so wrong lmao. look at him initiating them to come early to use the gym, and showing up TWO HOURS early himself with the keys??? i love himm

okay thats about it for this one, lots of fun this ep! i always forget how ridiculous the wig part is lmao, the series loses a bit of that completely over the top silliness as it goes on, but it gains humor in other ways just through the character dynamics that feel a bit more real imo so not a real loss personally

[weirdcat1213]

fuck

here we go

vol 10 thoughts

chap 1:

-IMIMIMIM NOT READY FOR THISSSS

-nooo dont make me read it, im too broken already

-NOOOO SHUT UPPPPPP

-delusion oh dear geesus

-DONT ASK THAT WHY WOULD ASK THAT :C

-stfu wolfwood please, ik you love him and admire him but stfu pls

-huh

-oh right....this is how...yeap

-please leave wolfwood just fucking leave

-although yeah thats interesting, im not sure if he thought vash or someone would come for him but yeah, if he actually thought that was the end he would have taken the vials...hmmm

-or maybe not. maybe he was ready to defend the orphanage and be done with it

-ouch

chap 2:

-HE TOOK NO DISCIPLE THAT WAS KIDNAPPING BASICALLY FUCK YOU

-livio ill say this with love....rn i do not fucking care about your self worth/attachment issues. he can go to hell, he and his stupid fucking gun

-OH NO THE CHILDREN

-LMAO HER PLAN WAS GOOD AND THE CHILDREN WERE LIKE "YEAH NO"

-go to FUCKING HELL CHAPEL SHUT UUUUP

-SHUT UP YOU KNOW HES SENSITIVE ABOUT THAAAAAT

-FUCKER

-well this is fucked this is so fucked (may i remind the people this is my 2nd reading)

-ah yey, the tears are here

-"we could have done this as a team" then WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOU FUCKING DUMBASS. NOW YOURE IN THIS FUCKING PAINFUL AND STUPID POSITION. YOU KNOW WHATS SHES FUCKING RIGHT, YOU NEVER LISTENED TO HER NOR VASH AND WENT TO DO SHIT ON YOUR OWN, AND NOW YOURE HERE. YOU AND YOUR FUCKING NEED OF DOING EVERYTHING ALONE CUZ THATS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING FOR YEARS. YOU CARRIED YOUR LONELINESS FOR YEARS, BUT YOU ARE ABOUT TO REALIZE YOU WERE NEVER ALONE, BUT ITS TOO LATE NOW ISNT IT??? YOU PRECIOUS STUPID DUMBASSS

-this is literally where the fun ends (kinda)

-OH THANK GOD YOURE FUCKING HERE FINALLY

-oh this is when i start to cry like a baby oh geesus

chap 3:

-WHY DO YOU THINK HE CAME YOU DUMBASSSSSSSSSSSSS (ily)

-wolfwood i fucking swear-

-razlo can you not, youre scaring the children, the readers and me

-also the ultimate pacifist vs the ultimate "what if i make a hole in your head for funsies"

-silly me thought the 1st time"oh vash is here so literally nothing can happen"....ja

-yeap, theres also that

-if the book club survives this i would love to buy everyone virtual drinks actually. the people who dont drink can have a nice lemonade

-SPIN THAT FUCKER WOLFWOOD :D

-NOT THEM NOT TRUSTING HIS ANGEL ARM PLSSSS

-"im a friend of nicholas" i may throw up out of sadness

-oh thats cruel for you? really?

-good fucking riddance old man

-razlo stop i dont want to sympathize with you rn

-VASH QUICK DO SOMETHING-

-THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING COUPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-"they switched to fighting as a team" im gonna eat glass

-i love how this chapter ends. thanks for the goofy moment before you pluck my heart out in front of my eyes, nightow

-also if you dont see how thats the face of someone trying to confess something really important but failing idk what to tell you

chap 4:

-"death omen" SHUT UP NIGHTOW

-YOU FUCKING DUMBASS

-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :c

-[side note but if orange animates this is gonna hurt like HELL cuz they have highlighted a lot wolfwood's thing with survival so...yeah]

-STOP MAKING YOUR HUSBAND SAAAAAAAAD

-oh...oh no

-HE SAID THE THING HE SAID THE THING NOW SHUT IT

-THE FUCKING. FUCKING. TOUCH

-OW

-those fucking eyes damn hes pissed

-OW RIGHT, HIS NOSE...AH

-oh..oh honey no pls dont leave pls dont leave him alone ik you understand whats gonna happen but please dont please come back-

-oh that blank panel, oh geesus

-YA BRATTTTT

-FUCK OFF RAZLO AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

chap 5:

-i dont get much about this fight ngl

-razlo's eye is so cool but also FUCK OFFFFFFF

-FASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

-OHOHOHOH YEAH LETS GO LETS HIT IT

-DAMN

-PUNCH IN THE FACE BITCH

chap 6:

-not the...not the fucking parallel with vash and razlo....nightow why

-HAHGSYU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE BLOOD

-wait what-

-VASH TO THE RESCUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-nononononononNONONONONO NO

-right right, i fell for it again

-THATS IT WE WIN- AH NO SHIT FUCK

-i told you he was a cunt razlo

-oh shit thats, thats beautiful

-i dont mean this as a negative thing against nightow/the story...BUT DID LIVIO'S FUCKING IDEA HAD TO BE THIS FUCKING LATE????? YOU ARE FUCKING WITH ME

-yey...hes back

chap 7

-for the love of geesus pls dont make me read this

-this is more from a personal standpoint but it makes me so fucking sad he felt guilty at the idea of going back to the orphanage cuz no matter what that was always his home, a place he could have come back to. not everyone has one of those. but alas, now its too late

-.....no. he doesnt care that you are a killer or that you have one of the coins, that you were gonna betray him anytime. he doesnt care wolfwood so fucking stop trying to be the villain here.

-ik fucking know why wolfwood doesnt wanna go....but fucking damn it

-this chapter is so quiet. the 1st time i was listening to mr bluesky but the chapter's lack of music just fits.

-maybe YOU are alright but im not. ill never be alright with this

-when i get my own place im not buying a couch and thats a promise

-"smile needle noggin" [crying pause]

-IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT

-god literally has never made vash any favors ever and the ONE TIME he needed someone bigger than everything else...nothing happened

-"and we can celebrate" WHY DID NIGHTOW PAINTED HIS FUCKING DEATH LIKE A CELEBRATION??? YES, HE GETS HIS FREEDOM BACK, HE GETS TO GO HOME, TO SEE HIS FAMILY, TO SHARE A DRINK WITH HIS SOULMATE BUT I CANT STAND IT I CANT

-ofc you did, wolfwood has never been good at lying

-and there it is, til death do them part as they say idk

-...............................................................................................................

chap 8

-im gonna eat my hand, glass, my computer, my house, the world-

-so...do we think that grave was just laying around or...

-DONT YOU FUCKING ASK THAT (IKIKIKIK BUT STILL, LIKE LOOK AT VASH'S EYES HE GETS IT)

-CALL ME STUPID BUT I GENUIENLY FORGOT ABOUT THE HAIR

-literally "stay away from him asshole"

-imagine knowing for a fact you broke something really important inside your brother and laughing about it

-baby oh my baby your hair, your little and stupid blond hair

-orange you have hinted at this so many times and let me tell you one thing, if you do it it has to hurt in the best way possible because this scene deserves nothing but the best

-i respect and wonder how nightow is so good at comic relief. its still a sad scene, everything fucking hurts, the reader will never be the same again...but he can put bits and pieces of comedy that make you chuckle or at least smile to then continue to hit you with a bat

-NOT THE JESUS ALLEGORY CARRYING A FUCKING CROSS, go to hell nightow

-and thats his cross?....to survive?????? im dead

-oh so he doesnt take it? ngl after this my first reading turned into a blur, god knows what i was thinking

im..........yeah. i fucking hated that, as i thought i would

[nickolox]

((( long ramble post)))

trying to figure wtf is going on with your own mental health without the help of a professional + having a mental illness that already fucks with the way you perceive things (ocd) is genuine hell

like, I HAVE a psychiatrist, but he's fucking. awful and always puts medications first over like, figuring out what the fuck is going on

and everything about this whole procedure just feels like, off???

tldr: local man questions if he has The Dissociative Disorder™ whilst being simultaneously given red herrings and blatantly obvious eye opening signals at the same time, and has the same realizations 30 times over because i am in a constant cycle of denial, forgetting and then rediscovering this bullshit

so to put it in a nutshell most of my psychiatrist discussions about the big disorderly things go like this:

psych: so what are you experiencing me: i keep like, having these massive gaps in my memory, where i have no idea what happened or what i did or anythign for hours and hours at a time, and i looked up what that means and its apparently called dissociating? what does that mean? psych: right, that's a stress response. me: yeah, That makes sense. But I've also been unable to remember major events like my sister's wedding or my graduation... psych: well... obviously you were just anxious lol me: *remembers the photos i have as the only proof i have that those events happened, and im smiling in all of them* maybe?? i mean, it didn't seem like that was the case. psych: (completely ignores that) hmmm. okay. anyways- me: also I've been hearing voices??? psych: where? externally or internally? me: internally psych: (visible relief) oh thank god i was concerned it was schizophrenia for a moment, having an internal dialogue is normal :) me: i can't control the voices though, and they don't sound like my own voice in my mind. they're distinct, and it's not like my OCD either. psych: that's normal, sometimes people just imagine things ^_^

so, it was "anxiety" the first time, came back. told him this shit is still happening, and then he blamed it on my medications, and now i'm on a new set, which i suppose needed to happen anyways?

But like, he told me that brain fog and memory loss are a thing with prozac (what i was taking before) and i was like "huh no one told me that" to which he said "well no one says the full list of side effects because no one would want to take the meds otherwise"

i get home, i look up the fucking manual that comes with prozac when you go on it for the first time, and no where. NOWHERE. is this shit on that list of side effects. i look up a list of the side effects, dozens of sites, NOTHING!!!!

I speak with my bestie and he reminds me that,

I dealt with these problems prior to going on medication (something i didnt even remember, lol)

it has literally nothing to do with anxiety bc he himself has crippling anxiety and deals with none of the shit i do

i'm going to shit bricks dude what the fuck is wrong with my stupid brain, it feels like such a wild challenge compared to when i found out about my OCD, like, dude at least with that bitch it was consistent, it was 24/7. as shit as that was at least I knew it was always there, always there to be a bitch, but undeniable none the less.

This current mystery disorder is like, oooOOOooo i'm going to be here SOME OF THE TIME!!! to make you DOUBT it exists!!! and im sitting here like, is this a symptom or is this my ocd fucking with me bro

i feel like i might have some kind of dissociative disorder, but the problem I'm having is that it's not CONSISTENT??? like, some days I'll be like yeah this is the dream and then other days I cannot physically do anything, remember jack shit, feel like my soul is leaving my fucking body all god damn day?

why do people always talk about alters too, it's like, the one thing I don't experience, or at least, the one thing that's rare enough to not hinder me like the actual dissociation problems.

I feel like I can't be certain, and that sets my OCD off, because my brain goes "what if we're faking- what if you're overreacting" which in turn makes me go. insane. I am going insane.

there is sooo much more i could say, but i just realized it;s half past midnight. I should um. probably go to bed.

Goodnight.

[borom1r]

hmmm 3, 5, 6, 11, 14, 20, 22, 26, 38, 40 for the fun questions meme <3

ooooooo ok these’ll b inchresting :3

3- 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

th lotr trilogy (duh), I Saw the TV Glow, The Last Unicorn :3

5- what made you start your blog?

THIS blog? suicide bait on my old blog :3

tumblr in general? a friend showed it to me in high school n i made one n my life was irreversibly changed lmfao

6- what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

ATTENTION. double edged sword. like ok i try not to let myself care abt attention and try to be rlly careful now abt who i interact with but at the same time it rlly is validating when things Get Attention. some of my favorite fics have little to no engagement :( n like yea its not healthy to create FOR engagement (fast track 2 burnout) but its also like very disheartening to put time n effort n passion into sth only for it to fizzle out in the void

but whatever. ill make weird art forever

11- what do you consider to be romance?

THIS IS SO FUNNY 2 GET bc soooo much recently has made me reevaluate like. how I perceive this lollllll

anyways short answer: idfk man!!!!!!! close friendships n romance r incredibly cloudy in my mind cuz ive got a bad case of dogbrain!!

long answer is i just don’t quantify that stuff the way neurotypical ppl do :3 ties into th autism + nonhumanity. i also think cis ppl being attracted to me is gross lol. ideal romance for me is bein held n tended to like a noble knight tends their sword. I feel love like a dog feels abt their human!!! dogbrained!!! romance is being a guard dog, being a Really Good Boy but just soooo disconnected from like. idk allosexual/neurotypical quantifiers of “romance” for me lol

+ i don’t use th label rlly but im def somewhere on th ace spectrum lol like physical intimacy is only rlly “safe” conceptually when its completely disconnected from th realm of possibility. like thirsting over celebrities or like th knight i have a crush on. + cis ppl desiring me is rlly like.. ew 😒 don’t look @ me anymore man

14- what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

UM. funnily enough im gonna do th Big Thing this summer :3 im going 2 th renaissance festival shirtless this year now tht im post op

s’gonna be scary showin off my scars but i rlly wanna go all out n celebrate finally havin top surgery. like im alive!! despite everything im alive n im happy ^_^ so cis people be damned, im gonna run around like a lil wolfguy for the first weekend!!!!!

20- favourite things about the night?

i love the moon :3

i also love how still n quiet things get

22- say 3 things about someone you love

ITS SO BRAVE!!!!!!!!! ITS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST GUY I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO PROUD OF IT FOR HOW MUCH WORK IT DOES TO BETTER OUR COMMUNITY N PROUD OF IT FOR PURSUING TRANSITION + CANT WAIT TO SHARE MORE TRANS JOY W/ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(hiiiiiii Ly hehe!!)

26- fave colour and why?

when i was a kid my favorite colors were neon yellow n neon pink :3 they still kinda are but now i usually stick to like lime green or bright red paired w black. forest green + dark blue r gr8 too

38- fave song at the moment?

DONT ASK ME TO PICK JUST ONE???????

here r some I’ve had on loop lately: Far Away (Roadside Ghost), Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Broken Social Scene), I’m Already Gone (Baroness), Sex for Homework (MSI)

40- any bad habits?

oh yea i have dermatillomania lol

it doesn’t rlly bother me to talk abt bc i think “gross” stuff like that deserves to be less stigmatized— my shoulders n back are COVERRRRREED in little scars + scabs

[junk-culture]

5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. 5️⃣❗

now wtf is the 5 times table doing in my inbox... ! teehee... this is a lot of questions and my answers are lengthy so under the readmore they go:

5. Favourite band: HMMM this shouldnt be a difficult question but i feel like im always indecisive/struggle to identify an Absolute Favourite Above All Others...... i think i have to say depeche mode because i like them enough to have paid £[redacted] to go see them...they are definitely one of my big faves anyway........ i will add bastille as an honorary favourite simply because they are the band i have liked for the longest... i started listening to them as a miserable 14/15 year old so you know. that kind of band is eternal and forever even if i don't quite like all of their latest stuff/don't listen to them absolutely all the time etc. actually the jam are maybe tied with bastille for that sort of formative band so let's say them too. sorry i can literally never give one single answer LOL 10. Favourite model: uhm unfortunately i dont really have one im not really into following fashion or models....idk....but recently i started watching the x-men movies (cringe) and i kind of got the hots for halle berry a bit so ill say her. ik shes an actor but she started off as a model so it counts. honorable mention also to the sony d-e350 in gold . a very very sexy model (of cd player) :

15. Lucky Number: It seems there's a typo in the questions post because they've put 14 twice instead of 15....I don't really have a lucky number although I sometimes see people with aesthetic blogs posting about angel numbers or whatever and im like i could get into that........ i guess any number can be lucky if it appears in a certain moment or is recurring... since 14 appears twice in the question post ill say 14. and its a pretty good number anyway

20. 5 things you love: ONLY FIVE? BUT I LOVE SO MANY THINGS ABOUT OUR BEAUTIFUL WORLD...! well to name a few: 1. mai friends (physical and virtual) ^_^ 2. BRIGHT GREEN GRASS IN THE SUNLIGHT 3. art. drawing. its my essential activity i have to do it its awesome plus so important in the world for everyone 4. when you're travelling home on the train from a pleasant day out somewhere and it's really sunny and you have a window seat and the music you are listening to is just right for that moment and its just so the beautiful world. you know? 5. shagging ur mum LOL !

25. Favourite blogs: UMM im sorry im kind of too lazy right now to like tag people plus i feel a bit shy doing that anyway but basically all of my mutuals etc...... <3 and the smug jug blog also 30. Someone you miss: hm...i don't know if there's any one person i Strongly miss but there are a few i vaguely to moderately miss. idk. such as: - my mother occasionally - not my irl best friend as such because shes still here lol but moreso i miss hanging out regularly like we did when we were teenagers? like now we're both adults and in different cities and she works full time and im either working or studying and she has a boyfriend anyway its like we dont hang out that often... many such cases obviously but i miss the time of seeing each other every single day at college and walking home together...and especially because id love to do that all over again Now when im like. a lot happier/more functional/more "normal" than i was when i was 16/17 lol. but its the way of the world what can we do - i guess i sort of miss an internet friend who disappeared .... it wasn't exactly unexpected because we always were aware of the possibility and i know its simply how such things go but i wonder how they're doing sometimes...plus we exchanged physical mail and gifts so now its like i just have these objects in my home that are from a person who i no longer talk to lol....

THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THE FIVEPILLED FIVEMAXXER!!!!! :)

[matthewmoorwood]

On the last hundred pages of Ship Of Destiny FUCKING FUCK

I'm going so insane over how Kennit ALMOST became an average citizen and then he went fucking full nutter butters and now no one believes Althea was raped. FREE ME FROM THIS TORMENT RAAAAH

Same with Wintrow like I FUCKING THOUGHT for a moment that these male characters might not be utter shitheads but noooooooooo RAAAAH. Despising everything about Wintrow wanting to suck on his faux step mums tits and be an alpha male cause of his horrific inability to have an identity outside of parental figures. DAYUM.

I don't think I'll ever really get over Paragon either. the Paragon & Amber dynamic is something very precious to me.

Not a single of of Robin Hobbs characters are ever what I think they are, or even who they think they are. Yet they all act perfectly in line with their characters and what we know of them. Freaking out.

If I'm reading a Robin Hobb book and a male pov doesn't make me physically nauseous, am I even reading a Robin Hobb book? No.

Thinking about Malta, thinking about the Malta and Vivacia/Bolt parallels, thinking about how both of them are forced to give up their souls for men so that they might have a chance at freedom because the alternative is to die by those same men's brutality. Oh I am ILL

"There were, she suddenly saw, many ways to be raped." Oh I am ILL

The way Wintrow only sees Malta as her place as a Bingtown Trader and as a woman as a 'good negotiator' and sees nothing of the fucking eons of abuse she's endured. FOUL.

They're all trauma dumping to each other in the hold as Jamilla ships fuck around these guys.

I hate everyone who sees that they have power and wrangles it just for pleasure of causing harm and gaining a scrap more control at the cost of someone else's existence.

Plz i'm going to shit out my lungs. Malta who has endured so fucking much, is so terrified of having Reyn see her because he is her last hope to be loved by someone outside of the vesrit family. She's already been hurt so badly by men and had for years valued herself entirely on her usefulness as a 'pretty woman' and now here she is. Her very survival has devalued her own perception of herself to the one person she thinks can truly understand her.

Begging on hands and knees that Kennit doesn't keep the cycle of abuse going. PLEASE allow someone some peace from him.

Both Reyn and Malta have put so much weight on how they look. And both are terrified that the other will put even a quarter of that same weight on them. I'm not okaaaay about this. plz.

Alrighty I just want a dragon to come and fuck shit up. Serpent, liveship, whatever form just need some unbridled rage bc I am FEELING shrimp emotions.

Hmmm... The ghosts of Kennits past coming to kill him... Hmmm... The fact that trying to repress those memories is what caused all of this... hmm... All the people he tried to bury in order to allow his own ignorance coming together to exist in their own narrative... I am thinking.....

Hold on im losing it. Hold on im going insane. Malta kissing Reyn properly and he wakes up?? true loves kiss type shit because in the end Malta and Reyn are still a fairytale despite the shit they've been through.

"If you'll have me as I am." SHUT UP RIGHT NOW

Fucking fuck. Althea being scared to talk to Brashen about her rape because in the end he is still a man and Althea knows that on some level Brashen will always view her as a possession.

Y'know what. Kennit being killed (hopefully permanently) by someone who does not give a single Fuck about him is so good. His whole life he wanted to be something other than what he was, be respected and recognized and yet he dies at the hand of someone who thinks of him as nothing other than a shitty pirate.

Ugh. He's not dead.

Oh man. Oh dude. Paragon. Fucking fuck. ing fuck. ouch.

I am hurtinedg :C

Robin Hobb why

I actually swear to God if Kennit is still able to torment Paragon via the memories thing I'm gonna scream.

OH IM SICK.

Vivacia who is not vivacia letting go of Althea despite everything. Aughr fuck. How this means that both of them are going to begin to have their own sense of self outside of their co-dependence. awrg,

Oh for fucks sake. If Kennit in Paragon is still trying to touch Althea I'm going to bite through my desk.

Althea oh my darling. She doesn't want to hurt Kennits mum over her own anger at how Kennit abused her. I am ill.

"Neither woman could escape what he had done to them" Oh I am sick.

"We've got to survive this, I've a life to live." SOBBING

Oh thank god Kyle is dead now too. YIPPEE

I have too many feelings I fear I must throw up to process them properly.

Either that or have some cheese.

My brain is too mushy for these negotiations I'm just gonna trust that things work out (they won't)

JEK queen go get laid I respect it.

Amber, my sweet Lady Amber :C

Raise your hand if you too are tired of the Althea/Brashen miscommunication GUYS I KNOW YOU'RE STRAIGHT BUT PLEASE JUST FUCKING TALK TO EACH OTHER

Awug Serilla.

I am feeling things.

Amber plz. my soul cannot take you refrencing fitz any longer

Oh lol Paragon showing them where evil mc fuckface left all his sick pirate loot.

Oh my fucking god I hate this got dam book fucking fuck,

:C

Amber I really hope you get your happy ending. Or a least a happy moment before the ending.

OH MY FUCKING GOD

Paragon.

Althea.

I am a broken husk of a person.

No one speak to me until I have drunk this hot choccy.