#ill go into it in a moment im just hmmm

[fruitwanderer]

Watching Last Life again and thinking about how the Life Series bleeds into HC

[i-cant-sing]

Just thinking about Yandere Todoroki clan and reader's random moments.

Reader coming home after a particularly bad day, but poor girl cant even cry or complain without everyone immediately overreacting and pulling you out of school/college or even keeping you from going out at all. So now, reader has to either cry in self pity before she enters her home, wipe her tears and fix herself just enough to show that she hadnt just bawled her eyes out moments ago. That, or do the more risky thing and go home, go to your room and cry under the covers, but then theres always the chance of Rei or the others walking in on you any moment.

Also thinking about baby/toddler reader being sick, just a common cold or flu, nothing major. But with reader whining and being so young, the family's infantalisation goes through the roof and theyd treat you as if you were immunocompromised. I wont lie, but I think Rei is almost kinda... glad when you get sick? She enjoys you being dependant on her for the most things, even when you grow up and are able to handle a cold, she still deludes herself into thinking that you need mommy to come and help you.

I think the one person who is most affected by reader getting sick, no matter what age, is Enji. The man just cant help but view you as a fragile, starving Victorian child the moment you fall ill. In his eyes, even a harsh blow of air is too much for a fragile thing like you, let alone something as bad as the flu. He just- he's holding toddler reader in his arms, who snuggles into his warm body, your tiny nose pink and he cant get the image of you crying and vomiting and being oh so feverish- thats just way too much for your small body. Oh how he almost cried when he took you to the doctor for a shot and you clung to him, trying to bury yourself into him as you begged him to make you feel better, cried to him that you didnt want to get the "big scary needle!" He just had to hold you there in his firm grip as you writhed, had to look away when you looked at him and he saw the feeling of betrayal in your eyes, had to keep himself from not strangling the fucking doctor for not being careful, had to walk out of the clinic and hand you to Rei because he couldnt hear you cry anymore, had to have Rei console both you and Enji (assuring him that "no, Enji. Y/n doesnt resent you for making her get a shot.") and he couldnt even sleep a wink that night because he was standing by your bed, holding your tiny hand with his pinky as a tear finally slipped out of his eye.

ALSO thinking about adult reader going out of the house to meet up with friends, except shes meeting up with them at a club instead of at their house like she told Enji and Rei, and now shes standing outside, abandoned by said friends, and shes now running because a group of pervy men are chasing her and she doesnt know who to call, so she just speed dials Shotou, except someone just changed all your speed dials to one number, and you think youre doomed when Shotou doesnt say a word to you and just hangs up when within minutes, someone comes in front of you-

"Dabi?" He tells you to cover your ears and look away, and you know well by know what that means, so you obey, feeling a bit regretful as those men begin to scream in agony. You dont know how long its been until Dabi pulls your hands away and examines your wounds. He lets you crash into his chest as you sob, and this time, Dabi simply decides to take you home quietly without a lecture.

Hmmm, also thinking about Natsuo who is usually cool as a cucumber, the most normal being in the family, except for his very rare episodes of unbridled rage where he suddenly becomes the Hulk. Good thing for you is that this anger is never directed towards you, rather towards people who actively threaten your life (except Rei cause she gets to play "Im your mom who became mentally unstable because of your abusive dad") The only time NAtsuo is stern with you is when it comes to your health. He's just looking at you with those strict eyes when you refuse to take your multivitamins, or dont want to get a flu shot, or try to make up an excuse so that he cant check your vitals. And when he just grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit down so that he can do his checkup, its in those moments that you realise just how strong your brother is... and how easy it may be for him to overpower you and sedate you if he ever followed through Rei's threats.

[creative-caramel-coffee]

can i request 6, 14, 12, 21 and j from the prompts list? thanks

More Migraines

Prompts:

j) throwing up on the floor

4) “let me feel your forehead, no buts, come here.”

6) “honey no your not gross, you cant help being sick sweetheart.”

21) “Your obviously not capable of walking I’m going to carry you. ready? one two three up!”

12) “love we need to check your temperature again. i know i know you hate it.”

Pairings: Wanda x R

Word count: 1.8K

Summary: Reader has been hiding migraines but what happens when the team needs her for a mandated (by Steve) bonding day?

TW: Vomiting, mini fever, migraine, nausea, collapse

A/n YELENA IS IN THIS ONE (and Natty of course)

It was only 9am and you were feeling the begginings of a headache budding behind your eyes. You internally groaned. For the past few months it hadnt been uncommon for you to get migraines. Of course you had done a fairly good job of hiding them. Not even Natasha was suspicious yet.

Although it wasnt unlike you to randomly hide out in your room. It was perhaps odd when you did it for multipul days but nat and wanda had simply dismissed it as it was often after intense missions.

However today was not a day after an intense mission. It wasnt even the day after a mission at all. It was a random Sunday. A Sunday the team was suppost to spend relaxing as a team. Tony had everything organised for a movie night tongiht in the compound cinema. Steve had planned a nice walk through the bush that was only a short drive away. Wanda had been preparing a fancy lunch for a matter of hours. Nat had contacted her sister to come join in. And the others were either indirectly helping or simply helping orgisnie. You however were not. The headache you woke with was blooming into a bigger probelm. One that was become harder to ignore. You had shown in to breakfast in your pjs and wordlessly taken a bowl of cereal before retreating back to your room.

The lights were off and you had an arm over your eyes in an attempt to block any light that was seeping through the windows. Looking at the time with blurry eyes and a pounding head you squinted to make out the time on the clock. 12:15. It wouldn’t be long until somone came looking for you. Steve had made it very clear this day was one nobody was allowed to miss.

A knock startled you despite having expected it. It seemed to reverberate around your skull. Echoing in pain throuhg your mind. You softly called out “come in” you replaced the arm over your eyes as the door opened. The familiar scent of pine nut and rain filled the room and you knew it was wanda in the doorway.

“Y/n/n?” She said peeking her head through the door. “Honey?” She asked again when she was met with silence. This time you groaned and her brow furrowed. “Sweetheart im coming in” she said gently closing the door behind her. A moment later your felt her hands tangling in your hair as it was brushed away from yoru face gently.

“Honey are you feeling alright?” She said softly. “let me feel your forehead, no buts, come here.” She said and shuffled closed as she laid the back of her hand across your forehead. Luckily you didnt seem too warm but you were a touch above normal. “Hmmm” she hummed. “Honey can you tell me what your feeling lovebug?” She cooed, hands going back to your hair.

“Migraine” you whispered and she visably softened.

“Oh sweets.” She said using a hand she got her magic to block out some more light so there was just enough to see and nothing more.

“Honey im going to go grab us some food okay? Ill be back in a minute.” She hushed and you whined softly as she withdrew her hand from your bed headed hair.

Wanda walked into the kitchen. She was worried. Who wouldn’t be? Nat raised an eyebrow as wanda returned without you.

“Where’s y/n?” Nat asked.

“Shes not feeling to hot so im gonna have lunch in her room with her.” Wanda said walking over and beginning to plate up two bowls of food. Yelena and Nat soon decended into a round of aggressive footsies under the table that left them both wiht brusied shins.

“Well im still expecting both of you to come on the walk after lunch.” Steve said frowning. Wanda sighed and nodded taking the bowls and leaving.

When wanda returned to the room her heart throbbed for you. You looked miserable. Curled in a ball with your arms tucked into yoru chest as you head rested on a mountain of soft pillows. Wanda made her way to your side, sitting on the bed and placing the bowls on the bedside table. She rested her back against the bedhead and swung her legs up. She heard you shuffle a bit and let out a low whine.

“Y/n/n i have some food for you hun.” She said and helped you into a sitting position. You curled into her side and keened softly from the pain in your head that the movement had brought.

When Wanda noticed you werent eating she softly began to bring the spoon to your lips and tapped them. With your eyes still shut you opened your mouth and allowed wanda to feed you.

when you had both finished eating you were still leaning into wandas side so she curled her body around you in a soft hug. It was comfortable and sweet. Both of you began dozing lightly. The pain behind your temples seemed to be only getting worse and your stomach was twisting in knots of Nausea.

Knowing what was going to happen you tried to be quick. Throwing yourself out of the bed and jolting wanda awake you stood on shaky legs and took one step before your knees buckled. You went sprawling landing on all fours your stomach lurched and your back arched as you started to heave. Wanda was by your side in an instant her cool hands holding your hair back as you started to throw up. Guilt washed over you as you felt bad wanda had gone to all the trouble of making such a nice lunch. But soon you were heaving again as you threw up more on the floor next to the bed. While you were still hurling your guts up you didnt hear the door open until Nat spoke.

“Jesus Wanda you weren’t kidding.” Nat said.

You were just dry heaving now with nothing left in your stomach. Before you collapsed wanda wrapped her arms around you and pulled you to the side so you were sat on her lap. Nat walked past and into the bathroom dodging the puddle. A moment later she returned and crouched infront of you away from the vomit. Carefully she used a damp cloth to wipe your mouth and hands clean. Wordlessly she handed you some mouthwash and a cup to spit it in. You were exhausted and wanda could tell. Taking the cup from your hands wanda passed it back to Nat who went into the bathroom again.

Carefully wanda hooked her arms under your knees and your back and paused when you whined.

“Your obviously not capable of walking I’m going to carry you. ready? one two three up!” Wanda said and she carefully lifted you and placed you back on the bed.

“Does your head feel better now? Are you going to be sick again?” Wanda asked.

“My head still hurts alot and I still feel sick but its not too bad.” You whispered and nat remerged with cleaning supplies.

“Her head?” Nat asked.

“Migraine.” Wanda said back in a hushed voice and Nat nodded. “Scoot over.” Wanda said as she slipped into bed next to you. Nat seemed unbothered as she started to clean the floor.

“‘M sorry Nat. Im gross” You said and Nat hushed you.

“Honestly y/n im more worried about you than cleaning the floor. I’ve delt with so much worse.” She said with a small smile. You nodded swollowing back tears and curled into wandas chest. Now it was wanda who spoke. “Honey no your not gross, you cant help being sick sweetheart.” She soothed. She was laid on her side blocking your view of the floor as she rubbed patterns on your back.

A moment later a knock sounded on the door and nat walked over and opened it.

“Ew it smells gross in here. What are you guys doing?” Yelena asked you grumbled somthing into wandas chest and flipped off yelena.

“Y/n was sick.” Nat said “Yelena can you tell steve we’re not coming on the walk.” Nat asked and yelena nodded before leaving to find steve.

When yelena left wanda looked down at you. “Love we need to check your temperature again. i know i know you hate it.” She said as you grumbled somthing and smushed your face further into her chest. Wanda carefuly peeled you back from her and laid a hand on your forehead.

“Hmmm still a little warm but im not sure.” You closed your eyes and felt her remove her hand, a moment later another cool hand pressed to your cheek, wearily opening yoiur eyes you saw Nat looking down at you.

“Your right Wands she’s a little warm but nothing too bad. I can grab a cool cloth for her if you’d like?” Nat offered.

“That would be great thank you natasha.” Wanda said. Nat nodded and returned a moment later with a damp red cloth. She laid it over your closed eyes and you hummed in content.

“That good y/n/n?” Wanda asked chuckling and you nodded slighlty. “Good.” She said placing a kiss on the crown on your head. Another few minutes passed and Nat went and sat on the edge of the bed. The bed was huge thanks to tonys money and could easily fit four or five people.

A knock sounded on the door again and you winced at the sound. Wanda covered your ears with her hands and called softly for the person to come in. Yelena opened the door and flopped down on the bed kicking her shoes off.

“Shes not contagoius right? Cuz i dont feel like puking my guts out later.” Yelena said and natsha rolled her eyes.

“Shes got a migraine.” Nat deadpanned.

“Oh ok. In that case do yeed anything y/n/n” yelana said patting your leg.

“No.” You muttered.

“Cool. Well steve was annoyed but the four of us can stay here while they go on a walk. I was thinking we could watch somthing.” She said and wiggled up on the bed next to Nat. All four of you laid on the bed now and there was still room. Yelena was next to Nat who was next to wanda who you were currently cuddled into.

“Y/n what do you want to watch?” Nat asked.

“Ask wanda im probably not going to watch it and can you put the volume on soft for me please?” You whispered the red cloth still over your eyes.

“Sure. Wanda?” Nat asked.

“Can we watch a sitcom?” Wanda said sheepishly.

“I dont see why not. Any in particular?” Nat said.

“What about the dick van dyk show?” You said and wanda nodded.

“Coming right up.” Nat said scrolling before she found it and pressed play. You began to drift to sleep which is exaclty where the boys found you a couple hours later. In a cuddle pile with wanda, natsha and yelena all curled around you on the big bed.

It was good to have a family that loved you. And it was even better to have that family be the avengers.

MASTERLIST

[whoreanghae]

familiar ; kwon soonyoung

genre - strangers to lovers, meetcute, y/n works at a cafe

word count - 1.8k

disclaimers - lowercase on purpose, no proofreading, fic under the cut

a/n - soooo its been a while... ive had a very busy 2023 and a very severe case of writers block, but i wanted to write a cute hoshi fic about a cafe so this is what we get. im also in the works of writing a longer fic like my last one, but that wont be out for a bit, its still very early stages. regardless, i hope u enjoy this messy lil hoshi fic! (because i wouldnt be whoreanghae without a little hoshi here and there) its just sweet and warm and fuzzy etc etc hope u enjoy xoxo k

“order up!”

life working in the cafe was nothing short of fast paced. you were constantly making drinks or baked goods that in a 6 hour shift you were basically running around the entire time. you had no way of pointing out specific things or people, it was just go, go, go. you were used to the environment, and you enjoyed how you had no time to dwell on mistakes or mishaps. you simply had to move on to the next task. 

this day things werent as hectic as they usually were, so you were testing out new drinks and snacks for the menu. as you started pouring milk into an empty cup for the next round of testing, you heard the bell above the door jingle and quickly poured the last cup of milk and turned around. the man who stood a couple feet away from the counter was what you would call ‘a familiar’. you dont see him enough to call him a regular, but you see him just enough that he stands out when you see him walk in. he was one of those people you still noticed out of the rest even in one of those fast paced busy days. you watch as his eyes scan the menus above your head, and he taps his foot as he tries to decide what to order. after 20 seconds or so he steps up to the counter and smiles. you give him a smile back.

“welcome back! what’ll it be today?” 

“hmmm, im thinking ill go for something matcha today. maybeeeee a medium iced matcha latte?”

you hum and nod as you press buttons on the register. 

“good choice, good choice, can i get you anything else today?”

“and a large iced americano!”

“allllright, ill get started on that for you now.”

you shoot him another smile as he takes out his card and taps it on the machine. you spin around and start getting out the ingredients to make his drinks. everytime he comes in, he always gets a different drink from the menu for himself, then a large iced americano. every time, a large iced americano. you just assume the drink is for a girlfriend or someone, and continue on with your day. as much as youd never admit it, some days you kind of wish he stops ordering the americano. its not that you dont want the cafe getting any sales, its just that he is handsome. so handsome. and you dont want to make a fool of yourself and hit on a guy with a girlfriend. so as long as hes ordering the large iced americano, youll keep to yourself. 

you whip up the drinks and bring them to the other end of the counter, as his head pops up and he comes over to pick up the drinks. he thanks you, and you wish him a good day as he heads out the door again. you sigh, watching him leave with that damn large iced americano in his left hand.

your coworkers start to pick up on your little thing for mr familiar, so everytime they see him coming, theyre coincidentally busy in that moment. he comes in a couple times again throughout the week, still ordering the americano. you still shoot him the same smile, wishing him well, and watching him leave with the drinks in tow. one day, just one day, he wont order the americano and youll be able to make a move. but, that just wasnt the day.

one day when work is particularly dead, youre sitting at a table a few feet away from the counter eating your lunch when the door bell rings again. you look up, and youre met with mr familiar yet again. you wave meekly as he smiles and nods your way. your coworker serves him, since you had just sat down. you try to not look at him, or listen to what hes ordering. hes just another customer, why do you wonder so strongly what drinks he had just ordered? you push it out of your mind as you try to finish your sandwich. out of the corner of your eye you see your coworker place a drink and something else on the counter, and mr familiar walks to the counter and picks it up. but, instead of hearing the door bell yet again, you’re instead met with a figure standing over your table. 

“is this seat taken?”

he gestures to the chair opposite you at the small table. you shake your head and nod for him to sit down. he places his drink and sandwich on the table and grins at you. you try to stop the tips of your ears from turning red, but you can feel the heat blazing from the side of your head. you both eat your lunch as you make small talk. you learn that he actually goes to your school, which is just down the block. hes a dance major, which piques your interest even more. it turns out that he has a really cute laugh, and loves tigers. you tell him about your self, and he listens intently the entire time. he nods his head along with your stories which makes you smile to yourself. you check your watch, realizing that the lunch rush is about to start. 

“im so sorry to cut this short, but i have to get back to work, the lunch rush is about to start and i cant leave them high and dry.”

“oh no worries at all! i have a class at 1:00 anyways, its probably time for me to head back now too.”

“it was really nice talking to you.”

“it was nice talking to you too, wait, here-”

he rummages in his pocket, pulling out a crumpled up receipt and a pen. he scrawls something on the back of the paper, and shoves it into the pouch of your apron. you laugh at his urgency as he puts the pen back into his pocket and heads out the door. he waves as he walks past the front windows, and you wave back in a sort of shock. you pull the crumpled paper out of your apron and read it. the paper reads “Soonyoungie~” and his number. as you read this, you realize you never even gave him your name. you see a string of customers begin to roll in, so you shove the receipt into your back pocket and get back to work.

as the day comes to an end and youre sitting in your bed in your pajamas, you keep turning the receipt over and over in your hands. you trace the letters and numbers with your fingers so much that you think they might soon rub off the paper. do i text him? how long do i wait? did i wait too long? you stare at the receipt until you fall asleep, paper in hand. you wake up the next morning to the receipt laying on the floor next to your bed. you pick it up, grab your phone, and carefully type the numbers into a new contact. you make sure to reread it about 20 times, before naming the number “soonyoung” and flopping back onto your bed. 

you get to work, and youre staring at the empty text conversation between you and mr familiar, who youve now discovered is ‘soonyoung’. then, you quickly realize that you didnt tell him your name. your palm connects with your forehead as you realize that youre probably just ‘cafe girl’ to him at this point. you see your manager walk out of the back room in the corner of your eye, so you put your phone back into your pocket so she doesnt shout at you. it feels like your phone is weighing you down, whispering ‘text him, text him’ into your ear as you mix drinks. you push soonyoung to the back of your mind, trying to just get through this shift. 

the cafe is booming this day, customers are constantly in and out and there are so many people that the tables are all filled. you and your coworkers are switching out with each other between cleaning/serving tables, working the cash, and making the orders. it just so happens that your shift as the cashier had just started when you see a familiar face coming in. soonyoung smiles as he sees you, and glances at the menu before coming up to the counter. you beam at him as he looks at you over the counter. you notice another guy next to him, looking around the cafe in awe.

“hi soonyoung! whats on the menu today?” 

“a large vanilla latte for me, and a large iced americano for my friend.”

you blink to yourself as you type in the order. large iced americano… large iced americano… the large iced americano wasnt for a girlfriend, it was for a friend. the man next to soonyoung had a kind smile, and he radiated warm energy. you give both of them a grin as you gesture to the machine and watch as soonyoung taps his card yet again. 

“so what are you two doing out today?”

“we both had some time between classes, and i always bring seungkwan americanos from here because he says theyre the best in seoul, so today i convinced him to come with me.”

“ahhh, well im glad you enjoy them, seungkwan.”

he gives a smile back as you hear soonyoungs name called from the end of the counter. 

“have a good day you two!”

“you too, y/n!”

soonyoung calls back as he heads out the door and you move on to your next customer. wait. he knew your name? how did he know your name? the interaction lingers in your mind throughout every customer you serve until youre about to close. you think about it over and over again, and bring it up to one of your coworkers.

“hey, did you tell that guy soonyoung my name?”

“huh? no, why?”

“its weird, he came in and he knew my name..”

“honey, did you forget whats right here?”

she pats your chest, and you look down at your apron. you feel like an idiot. name tag. thats how he knew. your coworker laughs and pats your back as she goes back into the breakroom. you clean off the counters and take out your phone and quickly type out a message. 

y/n : hey soonyoung! this is y/n from the cafe :) 

you stare at the message for what felt like hours, and reluctantly turn your phone off and go back to cleaning up so you can go home. as youre putting the containers of milk back into the fridge, you hear your phone buzz on the counter and spin around.

soonyoung : hey y/n!

soonyoung : how is/was work? 

the message makes you smile, as you send another one and push your phone across the counter, flustered.

y/n : it got better after i saw a certain familiar face :))

[thesherrinfordfacility]

UM.

Update 2: okay fine then, fuck it (she says still suspicious that there's no way neil would ever confirm a s3 plot point so of course he'd say this BUT THEN AGAIN if time were stopped why would the clock move UGH if it is an error ill be so upset)

UPDATE: so neil answered this but hmmm? now i know fuck all about jack shit admittedly but idk, presumably the first half of the scene where crowley confesses was filmed in at least a few takes? or pieced together in a few takes? and the clock is resolutely at 0925, indicating it would have been stopped? then the second half, just before aziraphale leaves the shop, it's jumped by 15 minutes... precisely.

even if filmed on different days/different calls, you'd expect the clock to have changed hours too...? and i cant imagine that a whole ass week after s2 release that neil would reveal anything about s3 which by all accounts he hasnt finished and can't finish writing yet... yeah im not convinced 100% it's a continuity error

so here is where you witness rhi shit on every single thing she has written including the interpretation written with visceral conviction that I Forgive You was written in response to crowley tempting aziraphale with the kiss. but the thing is, i cant believe that neil 'master of detail' gaiman, douglas 'every prop is important' mackinnon, and co. would let this continuity error slide (*side eye to crowley's sideburns and glasses change*):

now i sincerely hope that this isn't a 'crowley stops time and they actually decide that they're going to swap places/come up with a whole plan to save the world etc without discussing their Problems' incident, because as it stands narratively i feel that could be a little cheap

but possibly more a 'crowley stops time to stay in this below moment and they talk a bit more, but ultimately argue a bit more too and realise that neither as of yet is going to see each others' whole perspective but hey communication of any kind is a revelation for these dummkopfs' moment

like, i still hope there's angst going into s3. i need these two to be worlds apart from each other so they fully recognise the void that the lack of the other has left, and actually their ideological differences a) can be discussed and reconciled, and b) are perhaps not actually that different after all

but whatever potentially happens in those 15 minutes i hope still explains the absolutely devastated look on aziraphale's face, the I Forgive You, the glance back to Crowley before he gets in the lift, aziraphale steeling himself in the lift before he arrives in heaven... does crowley actually confess to aziraphale who he is? who he was before the fall? why he can never go back? why he can never be forgiven in the first place?

this has set my mind on FIRE

[theprinceandthewitch]

Okay but, even though I dislike TTT for making the characters sit on their asses for months for no reason [like seriously, Im not sure why they're wasting time building a door without titan blood. Luz and Hunter both know a door will not work without titan blood.] It's the most entertaining episode of the season for me. When I first watched this episode I wasn't bored like i was with the other two episodes.

It's not just because of the Lunter bonding and Lunter hints - it's that they wrote the episode in such a way where it looks like Hunter is homewrecking Luz's and Amity's relationship. If you were to insert yourself into Amity's POV it looks like Hunter has a thing for Luz. And that is soooo funny to me.

like seriously,

Luz and Amity have been clinging to each other since they came to the human realm. The only time she isnt with Luz is when Luz is at school and this specific day TTT takes place on. This is one of the rare moments Amity isn't with Luz and she's going to be busy for many hours trying to figure out the mystery behind the rebus.

Amity inspires the others to venture into the human realm with her so they can figure out the mystery behind the rebus. Everyone is ready to go into town but Hunter needs to change his outfit because Amity thinks its cringe. So Hunter is like, okay, ill change and catch the next bus into town.

And then he never shows up

So it's like, hmmm, I wonder where Hunter could be on a day Amity isn't clinging to Luz and is going to be in town for many hours...

AND THEN - the next time anyone else sees him, he comes through the door with Luz lying about where they've been and what they've been doing. It's an obvious lie but no one questions it.

At the faire Amity tells everyone - including Hunter - that she wants to surprise Luz with the rebus after the carriage ride. However, after the "Wittebane Backstory" carriage ride is over Hunter and Luz completely disappear. Amity literally takes her eyes off of them for a moment and they vanish.

Then Gus says THIS as a response to Amity's worry: "Calm down. They probably just went to buy some more cars."

His dialogue here never fails to make me laugh because it sounds like Gus is covering for his bro 😭 and it's even funnier when you realize Gus just retold Hunters lie lksjdsldf

Anyways, right after Gus tells her to calm down, Amity notices the rebus is missing... She knows Luz wouldnt take it because she literally does not know it exists. HUNTER knows about the rebus though - AND he knows Amity wanted to surprise Luz with it. So its like... Why would he take it when he knows she wanted to surprise her girlfriend with it? He must have put two and two together during the carriage ride and knew the rebus was actually going to lead to titan blood [they were unsure if it was going to lead to titan blood initially].

But... that doesn't explain why he would take it... everyone was going to go get the titan blood together right after the ride. Perhaps... Hunter wanted to impress Luz by taking all the credit for uncovering the mystery behind the rebus even though he never showed up when they were looking for information about the rebus in town... That's so strange... why would he do that?

...You dont think he has a thing for Luz do you?

Let me remind you that no one else besides Luz and Hunter think Belos is still alive. Hunter didnt want anyone else to know because he doesnt want to scare them. So Hunter and Luz just VANISHING into thin air is very sus. And then the missing rebus makes their sudden disappearance even more sus because Hunter knows Amity wanted to surprise Luz with it. Also, nobody knows why Hunter stole the rebus from Amity - they NEVER get the answer to this mystery. Hunter - nor Luz - never tell them why he stole it. He never tells them he stole it because he thought Belos was alive. So, it is perfectly logical for them to assume Luz and Hunter DIDNT know Belos was alive UNTIL he intercepted them at the graveyard. Edit: So they can assume Hunter took it so that he could impress Luz with the discovery of the titan blood.

It's so fucking funny to me. It makes it extra funny because they wrote such juicy drama UNINTENTIONALLY. This is the perfect storm for Amity to know about Hunter knowing Luzs secret before she did. It also the perfect set-up for confrontation between Hunter and Amity.

[youremyheaven]

How should a woman know if a man has truly genuinely fallen for her and it's strong? What are the key signifactors to tell so?

Is arm guy your first love? Like true love?👀👀👀

How would you know? 🙈will it make you sad and jealous finding out he actually loved someone else before you? *Hypothetically*

Would it be okay if they stayed friend's with that person?

Ive been thinking about this topic about men and love. Tho experiences vary for people but as per some stats is it true that a man's first love or relationship is always going to be a significant part of them whether unrequited or heartbreak? They just can't forget them and unable to love the same as they did the first time? Even if it means dating, getting married and having a child

wowww these are some bigggg questions hmmm

ill try to answer them to my best ability (im prepared for my future self to laugh at me lmao but i trust that future heaven's in good hands<33)

How should a woman know if a man has truly genuinely fallen for her and it's strong? What are the key signifactors to tell so?

for me, love is as love does. this means, love is an ability not an emotion.

i HIGHLY recommend reading all about love by bell hooks. i read it for the first time as a 18-19yr old and it CHANGED me as a person. i think every person, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, should read it.

a lot of us have been conditioned to believe that love is this mysterious fluttery emotion that just randomly strikes us one day. whilst its possible to experience that, its important to not let our own understanding of love be limited to that. love is not just what we feel, its what we do.

if i say i love my dog but dont feed him or wash him, then what kind of love would that be?

a lot of people fail to grasp the psychology of abuse and why its hard for victims of abuse (myself included) to leave their abusers. its because despite everything, there is love there. there are moments of tenderness, warmth and affection. any wounded person would stay trying to lap up whatever little they get no matter how excruciating the relationship may be otherwise. it requires a different kind of personal healing to be dissatisfied with breadcrumbs and BELIEVE you're worthy of someone's love and affection ALL THE TIME.

if you love someone, you TREAT them well. you speak to them kindly. not just when it suits you BUT ALL THE TIME. yes ALWAYS. no matter the situation, there is a way to approach it with grace!! you think of their needs/interests/where they're coming from. you do things without asking or being asked. you do what is necessary.

if you love someone and they say they're hungry, you get them food. instead of saying "why dont you eat?". i remember the first night my pookie I were hanging out, I was experiencing some personal difficulties and he stayed with me the entire day, leaving his work behind and I went home really late that night and he bought me dinner to take home with me even though I refused because he knew I was alone and had a distressing day🥹🥹its a small gesture perhaps but the fact that he was so thoughtful and considerate really warmed my heart. 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬the fact that he knew I was a girl alone in the city, vulnerable, sad and in distress and treated me with the utmost grace and kindness 🧿🪬🧿🪬and what makes me melt is how I know that he would treat anybody in that position the same way because that's who he is as a human being, he is sensitive, kind and generous. if you think about it, he had no reason to be there for me. after all, i had rejected him and given him the cold shoulder, he could just tell me to buzz off when I called him in the middle of the afternoon of a workday lol but he didn't 🥺🥺

(this was a tangent)

you'll know a man loves you when is sensitive towards you and your needs. when he is attentive towards you. remembers your likes and dislikes. when he is protective and caring. ive always believed that when we're in love, we awaken the maternal/paternal instinct within us because biologically that's how we're rooted to care for others, i.e, by being nurturing and considerate. like if you're vegetarian and your bf takes you to a steakhouse, thats 🚩if they love you, they'll do every possible thing to make your life easier. obviously not all men express love in the same way.

but regardless of his personality, the important factor here is that he WILL SHOW IT in REAL TANGIBLE WAYS. maybell he'll get you a cheesecake, maybe he'll buy you flowers, maybe he'll write you letters or sing you songs or whatever but HE WILL SHOW YOU. he will make you feel special.

if a man does not make you feel special in any way, that means you're not special to him. which means he does not love you.

Is arm guy your first love? Like true love?👀👀👀

i fell in love for the first time when i was 17 and it changed me as a human being so that was my first love 😭 its too soon to say anything about arm guy etc yet 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬but he is a lovely human being and a GREEN FLAG AF 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬ask me again in a few months and hopefully then i'll have a better answer to this question hehe<333

How would you know? 🙈will it make you sad and jealous finding out he actually loved someone else before you? *Hypothetically*

he said he's only been in 2 relationships before and i somehow get the feeling that they weren't super lovey dovey 🧐🤔i dont know the full details of those relationships rn (one of them was with an older woman- altho she's only 2yrs older than him and they met at the gym??? lol?? but idk her vibes felt off to me 😒)

i think i'll know in that moment (that its love) and ofc ill yap about it here hehe lmaooo . i cant say what or how itll happen bc im not God 😭😭

i wont be sad if he's been in love before because i know that nothing could come close to what we have or how we are with each other 🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬🧿🪬i feel very secure about that so nope hehe

Would it be okay if they stayed friend's with that person?

it depends on the person and the situation tbh,, some men have complicated relationships with their exes and thats what makes you feel like he'll go back to her any minute.

arm guy has been single for like 2 years, his ex moved overseas and all the roads are clear. if they occasionally reply to each others stories (which is what im assuming you mean by staying friends with an ex lmao) idc tbh lol

Ive been thinking about this topic about men and love. Tho experiences vary for people but as per some stats is it true that a man's first love or relationship is always going to be a significant part of them whether unrequited or heartbreak? They just can't forget them and unable to love the same as they did the first time? Even if it means dating, getting married and having a child

YESSS

This I wholeheartedly believe in. If you meet a man, you can always tell if he's had a significant "love" in his life. Because that will change you as a human being and the mark of that first love will be visible to anyone. Its like a wound you carry with you. you nurse it, you cover it up but its there. Men who've had that first love + heartbreak are a different species compared to men who haven't. They have that weariness to them, they understand women differently, they look at the world differently. First love + heartbreak builds character like NOTHING else ever could.

whenever men have that boyish sweet innocent vibe, I know they haven't known a "real" love and heartbreak yet. Thats the thing that makes a boy a man. And he will NEVER ever forget that woman until the day he dies.

men aren't wired the same way women are. male friendships are very low maintenance and low effort. the only space where men CAN share their emotions or be emotionally intimate with someone and share themselves deeply is in a romantic relationship. UNLIKE women who have profoundly deep relationships with other women as well. what this means is that, being in love, for a man, is 100x more vulnerable than it is for a woman because just the emotional intimacy of being that close to someone, sharing things with them, talking to them about stuff etc is BRAND NEW for them. imagine if you, as a woman, never had a friend before and made one for the very first time. wouldnt you be so cautious, nervous, scared, worried about every little thing etc because you dont want to lose them??

men lowkey get mad when they fall in love because it makes them sooo vulnerable, when usually they can just talk about football and drink a beer and go home. now he has to BE A PERSON and FORM A CONNECTION and its scary asf.

no man will ever forget the first woman he opened up to that way, the first woman he fell in love with. its his first taste of being seen as a human being.

even if it was unrequited love. the act of loving someone can make us more deeply human than anything else. it humbles us. it grounds us. even if they never love us back, we cant help but love them. there's nothing more profoundly humanizing than that.

i hope this answer helps<333

love,

Heaven

[weirdcat1213]

fuck

here we go

vol 10 thoughts

chap 1:

-IMIMIMIM NOT READY FOR THISSSS

-nooo dont make me read it, im too broken already

-NOOOO SHUT UPPPPPP

-delusion oh dear geesus

-DONT ASK THAT WHY WOULD ASK THAT :C

-stfu wolfwood please, ik you love him and admire him but stfu pls

-huh

-oh right....this is how...yeap

-please leave wolfwood just fucking leave

-although yeah thats interesting, im not sure if he thought vash or someone would come for him but yeah, if he actually thought that was the end he would have taken the vials...hmmm

-or maybe not. maybe he was ready to defend the orphanage and be done with it

-ouch

chap 2:

-HE TOOK NO DISCIPLE THAT WAS KIDNAPPING BASICALLY FUCK YOU

-livio ill say this with love....rn i do not fucking care about your self worth/attachment issues. he can go to hell, he and his stupid fucking gun

-OH NO THE CHILDREN

-LMAO HER PLAN WAS GOOD AND THE CHILDREN WERE LIKE "YEAH NO"

-go to FUCKING HELL CHAPEL SHUT UUUUP

-SHUT UP YOU KNOW HES SENSITIVE ABOUT THAAAAAT

-FUCKER

-well this is fucked this is so fucked (may i remind the people this is my 2nd reading)

-ah yey, the tears are here

-"we could have done this as a team" then WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOU FUCKING DUMBASS. NOW YOURE IN THIS FUCKING PAINFUL AND STUPID POSITION. YOU KNOW WHATS SHES FUCKING RIGHT, YOU NEVER LISTENED TO HER NOR VASH AND WENT TO DO SHIT ON YOUR OWN, AND NOW YOURE HERE. YOU AND YOUR FUCKING NEED OF DOING EVERYTHING ALONE CUZ THATS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING FOR YEARS. YOU CARRIED YOUR LONELINESS FOR YEARS, BUT YOU ARE ABOUT TO REALIZE YOU WERE NEVER ALONE, BUT ITS TOO LATE NOW ISNT IT??? YOU PRECIOUS STUPID DUMBASSS

-this is literally where the fun ends (kinda)

-OH THANK GOD YOURE FUCKING HERE FINALLY

-oh this is when i start to cry like a baby oh geesus

chap 3:

-WHY DO YOU THINK HE CAME YOU DUMBASSSSSSSSSSSSS (ily)

-wolfwood i fucking swear-

-razlo can you not, youre scaring the children, the readers and me

-also the ultimate pacifist vs the ultimate "what if i make a hole in your head for funsies"

-silly me thought the 1st time"oh vash is here so literally nothing can happen"....ja

-yeap, theres also that

-if the book club survives this i would love to buy everyone virtual drinks actually. the people who dont drink can have a nice lemonade

-SPIN THAT FUCKER WOLFWOOD :D

-NOT THEM NOT TRUSTING HIS ANGEL ARM PLSSSS

-"im a friend of nicholas" i may throw up out of sadness

-oh thats cruel for you? really?

-good fucking riddance old man

-razlo stop i dont want to sympathize with you rn

-VASH QUICK DO SOMETHING-

-THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING COUPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-"they switched to fighting as a team" im gonna eat glass

-i love how this chapter ends. thanks for the goofy moment before you pluck my heart out in front of my eyes, nightow

-also if you dont see how thats the face of someone trying to confess something really important but failing idk what to tell you

chap 4:

-"death omen" SHUT UP NIGHTOW

-YOU FUCKING DUMBASS

-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :c

-[side note but if orange animates this is gonna hurt like HELL cuz they have highlighted a lot wolfwood's thing with survival so...yeah]

-STOP MAKING YOUR HUSBAND SAAAAAAAAD

-oh...oh no

-HE SAID THE THING HE SAID THE THING NOW SHUT IT

-THE FUCKING. FUCKING. TOUCH

-OW

-those fucking eyes damn hes pissed

-OW RIGHT, HIS NOSE...AH

-oh..oh honey no pls dont leave pls dont leave him alone ik you understand whats gonna happen but please dont please come back-

-oh that blank panel, oh geesus

-YA BRATTTTT

-FUCK OFF RAZLO AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

chap 5:

-i dont get much about this fight ngl

-razlo's eye is so cool but also FUCK OFFFFFFF

-FASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

-OHOHOHOH YEAH LETS GO LETS HIT IT

-DAMN

-PUNCH IN THE FACE BITCH

chap 6:

-not the...not the fucking parallel with vash and razlo....nightow why

-HAHGSYU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE BLOOD

-wait what-

-VASH TO THE RESCUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-nononononononNONONONONO NO

-right right, i fell for it again

-THATS IT WE WIN- AH NO SHIT FUCK

-i told you he was a cunt razlo

-oh shit thats, thats beautiful

-i dont mean this as a negative thing against nightow/the story...BUT DID LIVIO'S FUCKING IDEA HAD TO BE THIS FUCKING LATE????? YOU ARE FUCKING WITH ME

-yey...hes back

chap 7

-for the love of geesus pls dont make me read this

-this is more from a personal standpoint but it makes me so fucking sad he felt guilty at the idea of going back to the orphanage cuz no matter what that was always his home, a place he could have come back to. not everyone has one of those. but alas, now its too late

-.....no. he doesnt care that you are a killer or that you have one of the coins, that you were gonna betray him anytime. he doesnt care wolfwood so fucking stop trying to be the villain here.

-ik fucking know why wolfwood doesnt wanna go....but fucking damn it

-this chapter is so quiet. the 1st time i was listening to mr bluesky but the chapter's lack of music just fits.

-maybe YOU are alright but im not. ill never be alright with this

-when i get my own place im not buying a couch and thats a promise

-"smile needle noggin" [crying pause]

-IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT

-god literally has never made vash any favors ever and the ONE TIME he needed someone bigger than everything else...nothing happened

-"and we can celebrate" WHY DID NIGHTOW PAINTED HIS FUCKING DEATH LIKE A CELEBRATION??? YES, HE GETS HIS FREEDOM BACK, HE GETS TO GO HOME, TO SEE HIS FAMILY, TO SHARE A DRINK WITH HIS SOULMATE BUT I CANT STAND IT I CANT

-ofc you did, wolfwood has never been good at lying

-and there it is, til death do them part as they say idk

-...............................................................................................................

chap 8

-im gonna eat my hand, glass, my computer, my house, the world-

-so...do we think that grave was just laying around or...

-DONT YOU FUCKING ASK THAT (IKIKIKIK BUT STILL, LIKE LOOK AT VASH'S EYES HE GETS IT)

-CALL ME STUPID BUT I GENUIENLY FORGOT ABOUT THE HAIR

-literally "stay away from him asshole"

-imagine knowing for a fact you broke something really important inside your brother and laughing about it

-baby oh my baby your hair, your little and stupid blond hair

-orange you have hinted at this so many times and let me tell you one thing, if you do it it has to hurt in the best way possible because this scene deserves nothing but the best

-i respect and wonder how nightow is so good at comic relief. its still a sad scene, everything fucking hurts, the reader will never be the same again...but he can put bits and pieces of comedy that make you chuckle or at least smile to then continue to hit you with a bat

-NOT THE JESUS ALLEGORY CARRYING A FUCKING CROSS, go to hell nightow

-and thats his cross?....to survive?????? im dead

-oh so he doesnt take it? ngl after this my first reading turned into a blur, god knows what i was thinking

im..........yeah. i fucking hated that, as i thought i would

[nickolox]

((( long ramble post)))

trying to figure wtf is going on with your own mental health without the help of a professional + having a mental illness that already fucks with the way you perceive things (ocd) is genuine hell

like, I HAVE a psychiatrist, but he's fucking. awful and always puts medications first over like, figuring out what the fuck is going on

and everything about this whole procedure just feels like, off???

tldr: local man questions if he has The Dissociative Disorder™ whilst being simultaneously given red herrings and blatantly obvious eye opening signals at the same time, and has the same realizations 30 times over because i am in a constant cycle of denial, forgetting and then rediscovering this bullshit

so to put it in a nutshell most of my psychiatrist discussions about the big disorderly things go like this:

psych: so what are you experiencing me: i keep like, having these massive gaps in my memory, where i have no idea what happened or what i did or anythign for hours and hours at a time, and i looked up what that means and its apparently called dissociating? what does that mean? psych: right, that's a stress response. me: yeah, That makes sense. But I've also been unable to remember major events like my sister's wedding or my graduation... psych: well... obviously you were just anxious lol me: *remembers the photos i have as the only proof i have that those events happened, and im smiling in all of them* maybe?? i mean, it didn't seem like that was the case. psych: (completely ignores that) hmmm. okay. anyways- me: also I've been hearing voices??? psych: where? externally or internally? me: internally psych: (visible relief) oh thank god i was concerned it was schizophrenia for a moment, having an internal dialogue is normal :) me: i can't control the voices though, and they don't sound like my own voice in my mind. they're distinct, and it's not like my OCD either. psych: that's normal, sometimes people just imagine things ^_^

so, it was "anxiety" the first time, came back. told him this shit is still happening, and then he blamed it on my medications, and now i'm on a new set, which i suppose needed to happen anyways?

But like, he told me that brain fog and memory loss are a thing with prozac (what i was taking before) and i was like "huh no one told me that" to which he said "well no one says the full list of side effects because no one would want to take the meds otherwise"

i get home, i look up the fucking manual that comes with prozac when you go on it for the first time, and no where. NOWHERE. is this shit on that list of side effects. i look up a list of the side effects, dozens of sites, NOTHING!!!!

I speak with my bestie and he reminds me that,

I dealt with these problems prior to going on medication (something i didnt even remember, lol)

it has literally nothing to do with anxiety bc he himself has crippling anxiety and deals with none of the shit i do

i'm going to shit bricks dude what the fuck is wrong with my stupid brain, it feels like such a wild challenge compared to when i found out about my OCD, like, dude at least with that bitch it was consistent, it was 24/7. as shit as that was at least I knew it was always there, always there to be a bitch, but undeniable none the less.

This current mystery disorder is like, oooOOOooo i'm going to be here SOME OF THE TIME!!! to make you DOUBT it exists!!! and im sitting here like, is this a symptom or is this my ocd fucking with me bro

i feel like i might have some kind of dissociative disorder, but the problem I'm having is that it's not CONSISTENT??? like, some days I'll be like yeah this is the dream and then other days I cannot physically do anything, remember jack shit, feel like my soul is leaving my fucking body all god damn day?

why do people always talk about alters too, it's like, the one thing I don't experience, or at least, the one thing that's rare enough to not hinder me like the actual dissociation problems.

I feel like I can't be certain, and that sets my OCD off, because my brain goes "what if we're faking- what if you're overreacting" which in turn makes me go. insane. I am going insane.

there is sooo much more i could say, but i just realized it;s half past midnight. I should um. probably go to bed.

Goodnight.

[borom1r]

hmmm 3, 5, 6, 11, 14, 20, 22, 26, 38, 40 for the fun questions meme <3

ooooooo ok these’ll b inchresting :3

3- 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

th lotr trilogy (duh), I Saw the TV Glow, The Last Unicorn :3

5- what made you start your blog?

THIS blog? suicide bait on my old blog :3

tumblr in general? a friend showed it to me in high school n i made one n my life was irreversibly changed lmfao

6- what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

ATTENTION. double edged sword. like ok i try not to let myself care abt attention and try to be rlly careful now abt who i interact with but at the same time it rlly is validating when things Get Attention. some of my favorite fics have little to no engagement :( n like yea its not healthy to create FOR engagement (fast track 2 burnout) but its also like very disheartening to put time n effort n passion into sth only for it to fizzle out in the void

but whatever. ill make weird art forever

11- what do you consider to be romance?

THIS IS SO FUNNY 2 GET bc soooo much recently has made me reevaluate like. how I perceive this lollllll

anyways short answer: idfk man!!!!!!! close friendships n romance r incredibly cloudy in my mind cuz ive got a bad case of dogbrain!!

long answer is i just don’t quantify that stuff the way neurotypical ppl do :3 ties into th autism + nonhumanity. i also think cis ppl being attracted to me is gross lol. ideal romance for me is bein held n tended to like a noble knight tends their sword. I feel love like a dog feels abt their human!!! dogbrained!!! romance is being a guard dog, being a Really Good Boy but just soooo disconnected from like. idk allosexual/neurotypical quantifiers of “romance” for me lol

+ i don’t use th label rlly but im def somewhere on th ace spectrum lol like physical intimacy is only rlly “safe” conceptually when its completely disconnected from th realm of possibility. like thirsting over celebrities or like th knight i have a crush on. + cis ppl desiring me is rlly like.. ew 😒 don’t look @ me anymore man

14- what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

UM. funnily enough im gonna do th Big Thing this summer :3 im going 2 th renaissance festival shirtless this year now tht im post op

s’gonna be scary showin off my scars but i rlly wanna go all out n celebrate finally havin top surgery. like im alive!! despite everything im alive n im happy ^_^ so cis people be damned, im gonna run around like a lil wolfguy for the first weekend!!!!!

20- favourite things about the night?

i love the moon :3

i also love how still n quiet things get

22- say 3 things about someone you love

ITS SO BRAVE!!!!!!!!! ITS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST GUY I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO PROUD OF IT FOR HOW MUCH WORK IT DOES TO BETTER OUR COMMUNITY N PROUD OF IT FOR PURSUING TRANSITION + CANT WAIT TO SHARE MORE TRANS JOY W/ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(hiiiiiii Ly hehe!!)

26- fave colour and why?

when i was a kid my favorite colors were neon yellow n neon pink :3 they still kinda are but now i usually stick to like lime green or bright red paired w black. forest green + dark blue r gr8 too

38- fave song at the moment?

DONT ASK ME TO PICK JUST ONE???????

here r some I’ve had on loop lately: Far Away (Roadside Ghost), Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Broken Social Scene), I’m Already Gone (Baroness), Sex for Homework (MSI)

40- any bad habits?

oh yea i have dermatillomania lol

it doesn’t rlly bother me to talk abt bc i think “gross” stuff like that deserves to be less stigmatized— my shoulders n back are COVERRRRREED in little scars + scabs

[junk-culture]

5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. 5️⃣❗

now wtf is the 5 times table doing in my inbox... ! teehee... this is a lot of questions and my answers are lengthy so under the readmore they go:

5. Favourite band: HMMM this shouldnt be a difficult question but i feel like im always indecisive/struggle to identify an Absolute Favourite Above All Others...... i think i have to say depeche mode because i like them enough to have paid £[redacted] to go see them...they are definitely one of my big faves anyway........ i will add bastille as an honorary favourite simply because they are the band i have liked for the longest... i started listening to them as a miserable 14/15 year old so you know. that kind of band is eternal and forever even if i don't quite like all of their latest stuff/don't listen to them absolutely all the time etc. actually the jam are maybe tied with bastille for that sort of formative band so let's say them too. sorry i can literally never give one single answer LOL 10. Favourite model: uhm unfortunately i dont really have one im not really into following fashion or models....idk....but recently i started watching the x-men movies (cringe) and i kind of got the hots for halle berry a bit so ill say her. ik shes an actor but she started off as a model so it counts. honorable mention also to the sony d-e350 in gold . a very very sexy model (of cd player) :

15. Lucky Number: It seems there's a typo in the questions post because they've put 14 twice instead of 15....I don't really have a lucky number although I sometimes see people with aesthetic blogs posting about angel numbers or whatever and im like i could get into that........ i guess any number can be lucky if it appears in a certain moment or is recurring... since 14 appears twice in the question post ill say 14. and its a pretty good number anyway

20. 5 things you love: ONLY FIVE? BUT I LOVE SO MANY THINGS ABOUT OUR BEAUTIFUL WORLD...! well to name a few: 1. mai friends (physical and virtual) ^_^ 2. BRIGHT GREEN GRASS IN THE SUNLIGHT 3. art. drawing. its my essential activity i have to do it its awesome plus so important in the world for everyone 4. when you're travelling home on the train from a pleasant day out somewhere and it's really sunny and you have a window seat and the music you are listening to is just right for that moment and its just so the beautiful world. you know? 5. shagging ur mum LOL !

25. Favourite blogs: UMM im sorry im kind of too lazy right now to like tag people plus i feel a bit shy doing that anyway but basically all of my mutuals etc...... <3 and the smug jug blog also 30. Someone you miss: hm...i don't know if there's any one person i Strongly miss but there are a few i vaguely to moderately miss. idk. such as: - my mother occasionally - not my irl best friend as such because shes still here lol but moreso i miss hanging out regularly like we did when we were teenagers? like now we're both adults and in different cities and she works full time and im either working or studying and she has a boyfriend anyway its like we dont hang out that often... many such cases obviously but i miss the time of seeing each other every single day at college and walking home together...and especially because id love to do that all over again Now when im like. a lot happier/more functional/more "normal" than i was when i was 16/17 lol. but its the way of the world what can we do - i guess i sort of miss an internet friend who disappeared .... it wasn't exactly unexpected because we always were aware of the possibility and i know its simply how such things go but i wonder how they're doing sometimes...plus we exchanged physical mail and gifts so now its like i just have these objects in my home that are from a person who i no longer talk to lol....

THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THE FIVEPILLED FIVEMAXXER!!!!! :)

[matthewmoorwood]

On the last hundred pages of Ship Of Destiny FUCKING FUCK

I'm going so insane over how Kennit ALMOST became an average citizen and then he went fucking full nutter butters and now no one believes Althea was raped. FREE ME FROM THIS TORMENT RAAAAH

Same with Wintrow like I FUCKING THOUGHT for a moment that these male characters might not be utter shitheads but noooooooooo RAAAAH. Despising everything about Wintrow wanting to suck on his faux step mums tits and be an alpha male cause of his horrific inability to have an identity outside of parental figures. DAYUM.

I don't think I'll ever really get over Paragon either. the Paragon & Amber dynamic is something very precious to me.

Not a single of of Robin Hobbs characters are ever what I think they are, or even who they think they are. Yet they all act perfectly in line with their characters and what we know of them. Freaking out.

If I'm reading a Robin Hobb book and a male pov doesn't make me physically nauseous, am I even reading a Robin Hobb book? No.

Thinking about Malta, thinking about the Malta and Vivacia/Bolt parallels, thinking about how both of them are forced to give up their souls for men so that they might have a chance at freedom because the alternative is to die by those same men's brutality. Oh I am ILL

"There were, she suddenly saw, many ways to be raped." Oh I am ILL

The way Wintrow only sees Malta as her place as a Bingtown Trader and as a woman as a 'good negotiator' and sees nothing of the fucking eons of abuse she's endured. FOUL.

They're all trauma dumping to each other in the hold as Jamilla ships fuck around these guys.

I hate everyone who sees that they have power and wrangles it just for pleasure of causing harm and gaining a scrap more control at the cost of someone else's existence.

Plz i'm going to shit out my lungs. Malta who has endured so fucking much, is so terrified of having Reyn see her because he is her last hope to be loved by someone outside of the vesrit family. She's already been hurt so badly by men and had for years valued herself entirely on her usefulness as a 'pretty woman' and now here she is. Her very survival has devalued her own perception of herself to the one person she thinks can truly understand her.

Begging on hands and knees that Kennit doesn't keep the cycle of abuse going. PLEASE allow someone some peace from him.

Both Reyn and Malta have put so much weight on how they look. And both are terrified that the other will put even a quarter of that same weight on them. I'm not okaaaay about this. plz.

Alrighty I just want a dragon to come and fuck shit up. Serpent, liveship, whatever form just need some unbridled rage bc I am FEELING shrimp emotions.

Hmmm... The ghosts of Kennits past coming to kill him... Hmmm... The fact that trying to repress those memories is what caused all of this... hmm... All the people he tried to bury in order to allow his own ignorance coming together to exist in their own narrative... I am thinking.....

Hold on im losing it. Hold on im going insane. Malta kissing Reyn properly and he wakes up?? true loves kiss type shit because in the end Malta and Reyn are still a fairytale despite the shit they've been through.

"If you'll have me as I am." SHUT UP RIGHT NOW

Fucking fuck. Althea being scared to talk to Brashen about her rape because in the end he is still a man and Althea knows that on some level Brashen will always view her as a possession.

Y'know what. Kennit being killed (hopefully permanently) by someone who does not give a single Fuck about him is so good. His whole life he wanted to be something other than what he was, be respected and recognized and yet he dies at the hand of someone who thinks of him as nothing other than a shitty pirate.

Ugh. He's not dead.

Oh man. Oh dude. Paragon. Fucking fuck. ing fuck. ouch.

I am hurtinedg :C

Robin Hobb why

I actually swear to God if Kennit is still able to torment Paragon via the memories thing I'm gonna scream.

OH IM SICK.

Vivacia who is not vivacia letting go of Althea despite everything. Aughr fuck. How this means that both of them are going to begin to have their own sense of self outside of their co-dependence. awrg,

Oh for fucks sake. If Kennit in Paragon is still trying to touch Althea I'm going to bite through my desk.

Althea oh my darling. She doesn't want to hurt Kennits mum over her own anger at how Kennit abused her. I am ill.

"Neither woman could escape what he had done to them" Oh I am sick.

"We've got to survive this, I've a life to live." SOBBING

Oh thank god Kyle is dead now too. YIPPEE

I have too many feelings I fear I must throw up to process them properly.

Either that or have some cheese.

My brain is too mushy for these negotiations I'm just gonna trust that things work out (they won't)

JEK queen go get laid I respect it.

Amber, my sweet Lady Amber :C

Raise your hand if you too are tired of the Althea/Brashen miscommunication GUYS I KNOW YOU'RE STRAIGHT BUT PLEASE JUST FUCKING TALK TO EACH OTHER

Awug Serilla.

I am feeling things.

Amber plz. my soul cannot take you refrencing fitz any longer

Oh lol Paragon showing them where evil mc fuckface left all his sick pirate loot.

Oh my fucking god I hate this got dam book fucking fuck,

:C

Amber I really hope you get your happy ending. Or a least a happy moment before the ending.

OH MY FUCKING GOD

Paragon.

Althea.

I am a broken husk of a person.

No one speak to me until I have drunk this hot choccy.

[seerofmike]

something im starting this year is a very self-indulgent, "my year in review" thing where i list 7 video games i enjoyed this year + 7 movies from this year that i liked because as time goes on i feel like i'm getting worse and worse at determining what i did and when i did them so this is basically just a place for me to journal the things i enjoyed this year for future reference.

all the movies are 2022 releases but since i'm hardly ever on top of current video game releases. my games list is gonna be all over the place. im mixing them up. feel free to read if you want yippee it's meant for me but since its being posted publicly ill write em all up as little recommendations. going in no particular order other than alphabetical and alternating between a movie and a video game i liked this year. also why 7 of each ? because 7 is my favorite number fuck you

The Batman

-hmmm. thoughts. congratulations to our second gay batman, robert pattinson. ok this is only half a joke. i love the riddler being a twitch streamer terrorist i like when media modernizes older characters it's funny. gotham truly felt like a shithole in this movie. soundtrack fucked. can't fight city halloween was on my spotify 100 wrapped

Inscryption (2021)

-i fucking suck at this game, i still have not beaten the trapper and as i understand theres like 2 whole other parts of the game to go or something??? so no i have not beaten it yet. but i have also sunk an unholy amount of time TRYING to beat it and i didn't get sick of it. it's a very dark but very entertaining card game and it has a free demo. even if you don't like card builder games i think you should try. it has a very unique atmosphere and premise

Bullet Train

-yes i liked the cringe brad pitt action movie. fun fact this was actually specifically tailor-made for me in a factory! it has a large cast of assholes trying to kill each other and it's funny and wacky and i love the directing. that sounds so fucking nerdy to say but i want to be a film director so im gonna say it. the directing of the action sequences especially was really impressive to me because there's only so much space/movement your camera can (believably) achieve when filming in a small, rectangular, ever-moving box like a train and i think mr david leitch did it very well. also tangerine and lemon funniest characters in an action comedy ever

Milk Inside a Bag of Milk Inside a Bag of Milk (2020)

-i kind of don't want to say much about this on the off chance someone reads this and also decides to play a game on this list but. listen. play it. it's like a dollar. it's very short, it's about a girl dealing with mental illness, and that's all i'll say about it.

Glass Onion

-mr benoit blanc u are so fruity. but ohg this was fun. it was fun! and it was especially more fun to rewatch it and see all that i missed and the small moments that they weren't really trying to hide from you. i enjoy the concept of being gaslit by a movie. also janelle monae is always so fun to see act

Paradise Killer (2020)

-honestly, there is so much i hate about this game. the sprites are awkward. the voice acting is bad. the platforming is abysmal. yet it's still here because i think its world is genuinely insane and unique and it knows the exact type of vibe its going for with all these terrible people in a vaporwave reality and it achieves it and also its a murder mystery and i like those. give it a try

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

-yeah we all know her pussy slaps. there really isn't anything new for me to add. it's funny. it's got good action. michelle yeoh best actress award NOW!!!!!

Pathologic Classic HD (2015)

-yea this one is kinda cheating. i started it last year and got like 2 hours into it and gave up and then did a bunch of other things but i finally figured out how to get my controller hooked up to my laptop this year and i played it. 100%'d it. its proudly displayed on my steam profile.

look at that. awful. horrible terrible plague walking simulator 0/10 am playing again

Nope

-i love jordan peele. i love keke palmer. i love daniel kaluuya. this movie was made FOR MEEEEEEE it was very slow and tense and i know a lot of people complained about the slow pace of it but the build-up made (SPOILER) reveal all the more terrifying. speaking of terrifying, the scene where everyone (SPOILER) is the scariest thing ive seen in years and i think i have claustrophobia now :) also akira homage <3

A Short Hike (2019)

-this one was soso cute and relaxing :) it was very funny and had a cute artstyle and i beat it in like 1 hour. not a very big commitment but its charming enough to want to come back to

Puss In Boots: The Last Wish

-ummm. so. puss in boots??? that shit slapped????????? it had NO reason to be that good. like obviously the animation has been spiderverse'd which SLAPS but the they put their whole puss(y) into this movie and they didn't have to. it's good. all the characters were SO fun, literally all of them. i love the stupid little dog. he is my scrimblo. go check it out if you haven't it is NOT the soulless cash grab i thought it would be

Slime Rancher (2017)

-so like, conceptually, this game is weird as fuck. a first person shooter where you suck up little jellies and feed them and harvest their poop. its insane. its also very relaxing but also very ...management-y, like the way stardew valley is where its technically very relaxing but you are doing SO much to maximize ur profit for the day. i love that shit. look at those things. theyre adorable

Sonic the Hedgehog 2

-ohg. knumckles

SOMA (2015)

-ok so i don't actually get scared that often BUT here is a mike secret. ocean shit SCARES me i do not like anything set under the ocean and the fact that this game takes place underwater freaks me the fuck out. i dropped my 3 hour save file to switch to little baby for bitches mode after 3 hours not because the monsters themselves are scary but because emotionally i cannot handle monsters on top of a deep sea setting. also the story was really good you should play it

[keichanz]

guys. it's happening.

i'm writing again.

and oh my GOD does it feel good. y'all i'll be completely honest, i was so scared that my motivation to write was gone. it has been so long since i've actually been inspired to write anything, and then suddenly i come across a tiktok video and BAM. like i've come across vids that make me go "hmmm that'd be a cute oneshot" and then file it away to ponder at a later time, but this particular one made me go !!!!!! and ZWHOOOP off to microsoft word i went lmao.

now please dont get too excited - i dont know when ill actually finish it, or how long it's even gonna be. at the moment i surmise maybe ten or so pages. but yall know me - it could be way longer than that lol. and yes before you ask it's inukag pfftt. like i would write anything else. c'mon.

but anyway. i'm writing again and i'm so happy adj;ifa;lf. no i will not post the video that inspired me lmaooo y'all gonna have to wait until i post it huehuehue~ i just hope it doesn't turn out as complete trash because i haven't written anything in so long pfftt

in addition, since im making a post, ill also take the opportunity to say that i'm going to be moving most of my fanfiction from ffnet onto ao3 eventually. possibly near future. i say most because there are a few fics that i have no problem dying right along with ffnet.

if there is a certain fic of mine on ffnet that you want to read on ao3, drop a line and lemme know. if its one i plan on not posting on there, if it gets enough "votes," ill consider posting it.

thanks guys. for hanging around this long and being patient with me, i mean. i know ive probs lost a few followers for being so inactive, which that's fine, it happens. but im grateful for all of you that stuck around with me this long. and i really hope this oneshot i'm writing is worth the very long wait for new content lol. who knows maybe ill have it done in time for christmas 👀

i love you all ❤️

keiz

[neonsbian]

hi vinnie <3 since you’re like my resident writing oomf i gotta ask: do you have any tips on motivating & inspiring yourself to write and get through a writer’s block? seeing you post about your writing is so inspiring but i’ve been struggling for months now rip </3

hmmm tbh i dont rlly have a good answer for you other than teach yourself self-discipline. ive been writing for almost a decade (crazy to think abt lol) and in that time ive basically had to teach myself to commit to writing.

writing is just like any other artform, it's a skill that you build gradually by practicing consistently. the best way to do this is to come up with a goal in your mind and actually work towards this. i don't mean like, deciding you want to write a novel and just writing right away (though that does work for some people) but building steps to slowly achieve that goal.

let's say you want to write a novel. great! the first thing i would do is find time in my schedule to write. a lot of people assume that means sitting down for hours at a time and just typing away but finding time to do that in todays society isnt easy and personally, it's more effective for me to find gaps and short moments to just write for a bit. for me, the most writing gets done when im constrained for time. and you don't have to do it all at once! you can write a little bit at different points of the day too.

i also plan what im going to write before i write it. this doesn't mean i outline necessarily (i don't do that until the second draft) but before writing a scene, ill have a vague idea of what i want to happen in that scene. sometimes it changes as im writing but i never go into writing without a vague idea of what's going to happen.

i think setting a daily goal for yourself is really important. i know writing everyday seems kinda daunting, especially if you didnt do that before but like i said, writing is a skill you build gradually by practicing consistently and you have to be consistent. your daily goal can be a certain page count, word count, or chapter count. whatever works for you. i personally don't rlly like using quantifiable units as my daily goal bc that makes me like check the word count obsessively and prefer to use story markers as my goal instead. basically, i decide before writing i want to reach a certain point in the story by the end of the day. sometimes im in over my head and have to adjust, but it's more useful to think abt it that way for me.

also, if you're just starting out, i would make my daily goal relatively simple and easy to achieve. if word count is how you're counting it, then i'd set it to like 500 words. you might feel frustrated with how slow your progress is but it's more effective to slowly build a story than to write a huge chunk in a short amount of time and then never touch it again. and even if the progress is slow, at least progress is happening!

i know a lot of people have said this but you're also gonna have to allow yourself to write badly. i feel like this something that's difficult to implement into your mindset but it's essential to teach yourself this or else you'll never get anything done. shitty writing doesn't mean you're a shitty writer, it just means that your writing needs more work and the only way to achieve that is by working on it consistently.

i also personally think it's helpful to read the writing processes of other writers and try doing them yourself. lauren groff, for example, writes her entire second draft from memory which sounded absolutely insane to me but i tried it for one of my short stories. that method didn't really work for me but from her method helped me improve my own system. basically for scenes that were in the first draft but were going to be changed pretty drastically, i don't open my first draft at all and just write the scene. every writer's process is different and what works for one writer isn't always going to work for you, but it's still worth a shot to try it and one way or another, it'll help you understand yourself as a writer better.

to me, writing is self-discipline as much as it's art and building a system that works for you is going to take some time but it's necessary to achieve what you're hoping to achieve.

this ended up being longer than i expected but tldr: set a goal, do it everyday 👍

[thedeafprophet]

7 for alex, 17 & 32 for jamie?

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

hmmm.... nostalgia.... I'm not sure thats something Alex experiences too often. There's not many things he feels nostalgic over. Well not for the long ago past.

I suppose if there's something that would trigger the feeling the most it'd be being around other people. Times with Josie and Jamie will often have him reflecting on the past, and despite times being harder back then there is a sense of missing when things were simpler, easier to understand.

I think similar feelings can be felt for stuff from the not as distant past too, when he's alone at the base camp in parabola or finds a left behind teddy bear in his house. Things were tense, but he misses his time with is child greatly.

I think nostalgia is a very bittersweet feelings for Alex. there's no times he truly wishes to return to, merely aspects that he misses and would long for. The past is in the past, and its only fragments of it that remain.

17. Are they easily embarrassed? and 18.What embarrasses them?

These overlap heavily so ill just... do both!

I think Jamie does get embaressed rather easy. Whether its something that actually embarssed them or just being paranoied and anxious about Doing Something Wrong is a matter of debate.

They get embaressed mostly by social stuff - society has a lot of secret and, quite frankly, silly rules, and theres an underlying fear in the embaresment of messing them up. And often times with ADHD its really easy for your brain to go faster then your speech, and words getting all tangled up and mixed around, which can be embaressing when you're known for your words!!!

There's also well.... as much as Jamie would tout about how impressive their life story is, they're often pretty emabressed about their background. Not that they should be, mind you, but it is a very classist society they operate in and its... hard. Being a nobody from nowhere sometimes, among people who all believe theyre inherently better due to who they were born to.

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? 

hmmmm im not sure they have a go to one persay. Jam is very flexible when it comes to conversation, and its more so along the lines of being good at coming up with things on a moments notice.

They couldve done stand up comedy in an alternative timeline, honestly.

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