#ill give you anyting

[cheeksred]

ok but fr who wanna go back and forth ....

i need it

[bellewintersroe]

Love your work!! Was wondering if i can request a BoB ship if not thats ok!

I’ve got dirty blond hair and dark blue eyes. I’m really pale but cant tan as i get burnt. But love being out in the sun. I’m around 5’7. I can act innocent but im really not, I’ve got a bright personality but am a people pleaser, it’s a bad habit of mine. I love being stubborn but my parents hate it. Honestly im a bit lazy but love to bake. I prefer to dress girly, like dresses and skirts but i still love my ripped jeans and combat boots. I love spending time with my friends and am constantly seeing them. I always fly to my dads every holidays. I value respect, trust and honesty such as “stab my back and ill stab yours”. I love to visit QLD because im Aussie but i always ask if we can travel somewhere. I love opal hunting, ice skating and i can rollerblade really well. I’ve been a netballer for 6 years and im a libra

Thank you if you decide to do me!! <33

thank you so much for your request, you sound like such an interesting person!! <3

I ship you with… Joe Liebgott!

First of all I think Joe would think you’re absolutely beautiful. Like an actual Angel with your blonde hair and blue eyes.

he’d for sure call you a ‘doll’ and if Barbie was released in the 1940’s he would 1000% nickname you Barbie doll.

But anyway, Joe would be the type that if you walked past he’d go ‘wowwwww’ and slap his buddy on the arm. (Probably wouldn’t tell them about his crush on you at first because he doesn’t like competition as confident as he may try to act).

maybe you’d get into a conversation about being sunburnt? Like you, Joe doesn’t tan very well, he usually just burns, so it’s a good conversation starter, he’d probably tease you that you were blushing over him, but in reality your cheeks are just sunburnt!

overtime I think you’d persuade him to take care of his skin in the sun, and give him sun burn to take care of him. He’s in complete awe, and isn’t afraid to call you his girl super early on.

your bright personality mixed with your beauty is astonishing for Joe- he doesn’t want to wait to call you his and he falls extremely hard and fast for you.

Maybe if he’s only used to seeing you in more comfortable clothes, he’s blown away to see you so girly!!! He adores that you love to dress up, and he probably can’t keep his hands off you, waist, hands, hips, butt, boobs- he loveeeeeesssss your boobs.

very respectful at first, won’t lay a finger on you unless you make it clear to him/ ask him to.

This might be a little confusing at first? Bcs he’s saying all these lovely things to you, but he seems nervous to hold your hand?!

When he honestly opens up about being a little nervous on one of your early dates, it’s a huge green flag and I think he recognises how much you value honesty.

might go a little too far with the honesty and call you a people pleaser, it can be a bit upsetting, but Joe just wants the best for you and hates himself after something slips out of his mouth wrong.

After the war, Joe is keen to settle down with you and start a family- he never considered the prospect of travelling before?! Seeing so many parts of Europe during the war put him off for a little while, but I think with some persuasion you can start to show him the good in the world again.

He’d beg you for babies.

accidentally would stare at your boobs and your friends might notice this oops- but he makes really good friends with your friends. As you do with his friends, which I think would be super important for the two of you.

if you think you’re stubborn then you’ve got a whole new thing coming with Joseph Liebgott. He’s the KING of stubbornness. But just flash him some puppy eyes or pout and you can easily get your way.

“Awww, kid, don’t look at me like that, you know I can’t say no…”

As a libra it’s stated you can ‘smooth out the peace’ which I think is very fitting to say you’d be in a relationship with Liebgott.

Super fun and romantic relationship, I think he’d enjoy anything with you, whether that be walking around or just lounging in bed together. I think he needs a lot of quality time with you, and that’s his love language.

finds your accent so sexy, probably forgets to listen because he’s that taken away with how hot you are.

would flirt sooooo fucking good with you, especially once he’s had a couple to drink, he’s got you wrapped around his little finger when he’s being a flirtatious little devil.

needs cuddles and reassurance when he’s feeling down. Either that or it comes out as frustration, but he loves you so dearly he hates taking things out on you, so I think he’s super careful and doesn’t do this a whole lot.

loves you dearly and he’s super protective over you, but not in an overbearing way.

Probably tries to come ice skating once or twice- bur he prefers to watch with a soft smirk on his face about how proud he is that he got with you.

Can’t skate, nonono, it would be hilarious to watch- like Bambi on ice.

but yeah, a genuinely fun relationship, there’s a lot of respect and understanding of each others boundaries; and I think your personalities would make way for a super genuine and enjoyable relationship.

[kanwaly]

Captain Lily Part 1

There was a girl named Lily.

She was known for her infectious laughter

and friendly nature, always surrounded by a group of friends.

Lily believed that her friends were genuine and kind, never suspecting that they would betray her trust.

One day, Lily stumbled upon a conversation where her so-called friends were mocking her appearance and speaking ill of her behind her back. The realization hit her like a tidal wave, and she felt a deep sense of regret for ever believing in their friendship.

She blamed herself for being naive and selfish, thinking only of their perspective.

As time went on, Lily began to change.

The once innocent and carefree girl started

to build walls around her heart,She withdrew from her friends, focusing on her own personal growth and goals.

Lily made the decision to take a

break from school, giving herself time to heal and reflect on the mistakes she had made.

She confronted her own shortcomings and realized that she had allowed others to define her worth. It was a harsh awakening, and she resolved to never let anyone have that power over her again.

When Lily returned to school after her hiatus, she was a changed person. Her once warm and friendly demeanor had been replaced by a cold and distant aura.

She no longer sought the company of others,

choosing instead to focus on her own ambition.

The transformation was palpable, and

her classmates could sense the darkness that

enveloped her.Lily carried this newfound persona with her into college, where she continued to excel academically.

Her dream of becoming a respected military officer burned brightly within her, and she poured all her energy into achieving that goal.She applied to join

the military and,to her delight, was selected.

And so, Lily embarked on her path as a respected military officer,carrying with her the scars of her past but also the strength that came from overcoming adversity.

She had transformed from an

innocent girl into a resilient woman,

ready to face any challenge that came her way.

After soo much hustle and hard training

she become a captain and start leading after some time she become world famous women officer who is brave and intelligent to overcome anything she called "LEADER OF LEADERS" in all the world

Wherever she goes everyone respect her love her she has an cold , but kind and good person era she is a nightmare for the criminals they even afraid of her name.

PRESENT TIME

IN PRESS CONFERENCE

"Captain Lily What do you think who is involve in this recent crimes?"

"Captain Lily who can be this people that are causing trouble in presence of you?,since

you become the leader no one dare to cause any trouble but now once again someone dare to do it."

Captain Lily:"Calm down! I"ll not let them go just wait and watch,I am working on it"

Reporters :"As you say Captain we have faith on you"

Captain Lily Smile and says: "I am glad that you all have faith on me,I will definitely put them behind the bars,Just one thing I request from you all to be patient."

Captain Lily further says : "Judging from your all faces you all are probably scared,listen to me carefully don't you all forget that you all have my Office contact

number you can call it on anytime your call won't be go unheard Understood!"

"Don't you all worry I will caught them soon"

They all unitedly says :"Yes! captain Lily

we believe in you Good luck for this mission!!"

CONFERENCE OVER

Late at night ,Captain Lily was checking files and then she received an anonymous call

ON CALL

Captain Lily :"Hello! How can I help you" in her deep voice

The caller :How is your work going on recent case.? Are you having difficulties?That's why you r still in your office late at night.?He laughs mysteriously and before

lily say anyting he hangs up

Captain Lily:"Who he was?,let's leave it for now,I will further study this case after

taking a fresh break when I will reach home."

AT HOME

She enter in house welcome by her mother

sitting on a couch watching TV

lily asks :"Mama! You r still up"

Lily's mother: "I was waiting for you ,I always tell you to cover your work early and come home how many enemies you have lily, I know you r very strong but...

Lily says: "Mama Mama my

sweet mama sorry for making you feel worried but you don't have to worry a little a litttleee about me no one can do anything to me,don't you know how smart your daughter is"lily wink at her mom while giggling her mom also laughs

Lily's mother:"Hahaha I should record your video everone says you r emotionaless"

Lily :"That version is only for you all"

with a serious tone

Lily's mother:"ohhh come come have some food Captain Lily, everyone says that you don't eat nor sleep"says while laughing

Lily :"Mama stop teasing "

They both laughs

Lily:Btw others are sleeping?

Mother: "They all did dinner early,so they went to bed but you know your siblings,do this type of creatures sleep early?"

Lily:Definitely not!!😆

After taking a cold shower lily again sit

to study about this recent fuss

she remind of that anonymous call.

Lily:"No one could ever dare to talk to me like that who was he talking to me like that.

I should give this number to her.

She will find a way to track it No matter

how much it is protected."

At call

Lily : Hey Sophia! I have a work for you

track this number I just send you ,I want details about this number until 3pm tomorrow it's urgent!!

Sophia :"Ok Captain I will try my best"

Lily :"Best of Luck"

CALL END

Lily :"I know my six sense is not lying this call must be related to this case ,the similar thing is in both are daring

1.The caller, he dare to talk to me straight

2. The people who are making fuss even knowing that

what I did with the previous ones.

I THINK THEY DONT LOVE THEIR LIVES!!!

Behind their these Fearless activities there is someone that gives them strength to do it

I think He/She really thinks that they are

enough smarter than me.OK, LET'S SEE WHO IS SMARTER THAN WHOM!!!

GOOD NIGHT 🌃

"One more special thing about Lily

she wears a black mask which she

doesn't took off only closest one has seen lily's face."

TO BE CONTINUED

let's see what information Sophia

Will bring in next part!!

LIKE SHARE

© By Kanwal

[minniepetals]

long msg (maybe?):

AHHHH so glad cmar is back 😭😭 been baking all day for family and cfriends so i wasnt able to see ur post abt its release AND when u released cmar💔 j so glad ur back and cmar is back🩷 cmar has me feeling so many emotions but ngl sometimes i also feel a little desensitized from reading sm angst in cmar😭(?)

alexander reminds me sm of my grandpa, he gives off such a warm vibe. A little prediction for alexander: i think hes the man standing behind karl ( hope m not wring and got the context clues right bc this would be v embarrassing rn😅) if oc acc kills karl right then and there or hurts him, alexander wouldnt say a thing and would have trusted him right there that he would do anything to her (if theres a plot twist and u acc make him hate oc i will be crying !!).

and if so !! i imagine oc going back to korea barely scathed and would take alexander’s adivce and get a dog. i would see her get a cutesy little puppy maybe to heal her inner child (like she gives in a little to her past self and lets go a bit j as alexander says) and absolutely adores her pup. THATS WOULD BE THE CUTEST THING EVER. but i also see her getting a big dog to keep her yk baddie energy through and through (but within the walls of her house or when no one looks she would probably baby her big pup).

I can see her abs loving her pup and probably going berserk on anyone who would harm her pup. u would prob do smthing like kill her pup off j to make us feel smthing.. and she would 100% go on a rampage after finding put who killed her pup🫡

and ofc this wouldnt be a cmar ask w/o tellings u that i hope the boys and oc makes up in the future. doesnt have to be soon or anyt i still have the urge to choke the cmar tannies (j a little). AND i hope they find put abt mc soon and go through abs hell as everything unfolds infront of them little by little. THE GUILT THAT I WANT THEM TO FEEL. yk. i acc imagine them finding everything out through a risky mission through their inears or smthing but idkidk its all up to beloved author (u, ily.)

if any of this. ur acc planning to write m sorry ill stop talking mb.

but on that note !! hope ur doing the best !! hope u feel amazing !! i want to tell u that ive probably read everytimg on ur masterlist alrdy and have repeatedly gone over “a thousand springs” and cried everytime.. i also abs miss ur drabbles ahuhu. but ur health and happiness is what matters most !! take ur time writing !! we wuv u (*˙˘˙)♡

okay i'd like to first point out that the man "standing" behind karl is not alexander but actually y/n's father oop-

"It feels like being in the presence of your father all over again, in the face of danger, of a manipulator, of a gaslighter, of an abuser. He returns hard and so vividly in the form of anger, in the form of a ghost, a spirit whom you see standing right behind Karl. He stands as still as ever, hands held behind his back, simply watching."

to explain, it's basically y/n hallucinating her father being there in front of her again the moment karl laid his hand on her.

will she kill him? will she not? i mean either way, he's dying so... 🫢

also the idea about her getting a pet sounds good lmao. i even thought about it while writing but suffice to say, we won't be introducing another animal character into the mix. the idea is really nice tho, like i just imagine her getting a big black dog who looks menacing, kinda like the way y/n in until the last star falls had cerberus (though in the of kai lmao). BUUT, when you think about it, her "guard dogs" are basically the reapers and i don't really feel like adding another concept into cmar's complicated character building lmao.

also you're getting some one-on-one with jk next chapter who yay for that 🥳

[remain-uknowable]

Oh shit they might actually be mad at me why do i always screw up no okay no more slef pity i gotta remeber the basic stuff i think i made anends but the still sounded kinda mad with how they texted okay no do not be a selfiah asshole and make this about me ill give them space and see how they feel later okay just remember give it room to think and speak, do not make this about me, don't deflect blame or hate on myself to the point i make it about me. Okay. Don't fucking screw this up if you are worth anyt- annnndddd nope not gonna continue that if i screwed up i gotta fix it i can hate myself later.

[avo-kat]

i was checking my drafts (for the irrational fear that there will be a bug that suddenly releases all your posts in draft; this has no basis on reality, so dont worry), and found this post from march 1st 2023.

its me working out that im definitely not trans:

dont mind me, im just sitting here and thinking out loud

me: oh im just a regular woman. not straight. but otherwise normal. thats all. :) [pre 2020]

me: hm actually. you know what? hmhm. something is up

me: no its fine. its time. i came out as lesbian to my friends! this is great. i love this. time to buy... lgbt merch. [around 2020]

me: what kind tho... hm.... somehow.... u know? normal rainbow stuff is fine, right?

me: hmmmm im not feeling so good actually??? [around 2021]

me: is that... u know what.... i think i may be.... non-binary? i thought this was only smth for kids but looking into it, huh, i guess so!

me: now i can wear more boy clothes. and walk a bit more masc. thats kinda fun. mens tank top. mens shorts. baseball cap. i feel awesome. hairy legs. hairy armpits. hell yeah!

me: but im just nb im not trans thats not being trans

me: i dont wanna intrude or take away or smth im just nb

me: im fine being the way i am no need to do hrt or anything really

me: and honestly, i dont wanna lose my identity as a queer woman!!! i love being a queer woman! well ok not a woman anymore but im still like, sapphic! that kinda thing!!! im deathly afraid of losing this part of my identity!

me: im super fine w my body and im fine staying this way and also being my agab at my job

me: besides im so cute now and id deffo look ugly as a guy

me: i dont even like guys that much so like come on

me: that one guy is giving me such gender envy. thats just 1 exception tho [around 2022]

me: i prefer he/they but im fine with all pronouns :)

me: i like it when ppl use male words for me. just makes me feel good. nothing else :)

me: (i have no dysphoria cuz im nb im not trans)

me: its cool im fine

me: hmmmmmmmmm

me: mhmhm eeeh

me: im not feeling so great again thats so weird....??? [late 2022/early 2023]

me: mhmhmhmhmh

me: oh look im growing facial hair

me: guess ill shave. thats annoying. kinda cool but annoying

me: oh wow i gotta shave more often huh thats so annoying

me: hm hair is growing more... actually... feels nice touching my hairy face kinda

me: oh well i gotta shave for work, so

me: ach. why does that feel unpleasant?

me: oh well. heh, if i were a man (im not tho), some things would be kinda fun!

me: if i were a guy. that would be fun. like. purely hypothetical, yknow?

me: like if i suddenly got the superpower to change my appearance. that would be sooo cool. just cuz.

me: wouldnt that be fun. it would. it would be so fun.

me: not trans tho

me: def not trans. i feel shaky and queasy just thinking of it. im not

me: just nb. im fine. im fine staying like this. like. im. im fine.

me: like sure im not like super comf

me: thats on me deciding not to be more gnc in public. yeah. it would be such a hassle

me: yeah. what if tho lol. can u imagine. god, telling my boss? no way man that wouldnt fly

me: and id be so ugly. im cute right now. and im not strong. or build. and im too fat. if i were to be a man id wanna be, like, hot, yknow? strong and sharp jawline. if i were to be guy. im not. i wouldnt. im not trans lol

me: lemme write this fanfic real quick. just smth self-indulgent. what if i woke up in the body of the main character of this shounen anime lol. id be a boy lol. like. id be a man. mans body lol. that be fun lol. and what if i managed to fall in love with that male character. wed be so gay together. haha. two guys. such a funny idea

me: .....................

me: like what if i got top surgery.

me: like, sure. a year ago i was scared of losing my boobs. like if i had breast cancer and had to remove them. id look so off. my body would look wrong. boobs are an important visual element.

me: but what if i got top surgery. like. i hate bras. i dont like them being touched much either honestly so i wouldnt really lose anything? it would be more comfy for me day to day. and while sleeping. so, honestly, only upsides?

me: ...what would i need, theoretically. hm. half a year of therapy? oh. yeah. no. im not trans. so. yeah.

me: ....................

me: like, what name would i even pick. idk. well doesnt matter. im not trans.

[new addition, july 2023] me: im trans :D

[yazzan]

I believe no one is going to read this or give a fuck about it thats why i'm going to talk here.

I was in love with this girl for two i really struggled to gain her love by not expressing my feelings for her for a whole year, a whole year of my life i spent on being her friend but from the inside i did not see her as a friend, from the beginning i saw her as "the one".

Then i confessed to her, for first time she rejected i was so sad but i kept going because i was soo afraid of losing her.

After a long period of time we becamo lovers

2 years of my life was dedicated for her and i always i mean always saw that as a duty toward her i give her safety love friendship family time literally everything.

I used to watch these reels and read articles on how to be a good partner even though some were out of my charecter i tried to to them.

Long story short, she got sick and start taking heavy bills and i did not walk away i became evem more kind toward her so i can be her rock, regardless of my life and the difficulties im facing at work home etc...

The relationship became one sided i was doing all the work emotionally mentally and i did not mind it was the peak of my life when she used to be tired and i threw this terrible joke and she start laughing.

She said she wanted to break up because she saw that it became hard on me i could not focus on my job and my life in general.

We broke up and after 2 months of breaking up i went to her place sat on my knees and said "i love u and i dont care about anyting all i care about is u".

Few days later she said i cant do that to u you will regret in the near future.

Two days ago i opened her letterboxd to check on her if she is watching movies and moving on, and i saw the same diary of her on another's guy profile its literally the guy she told not to worry about, the watching movies at the same time started from the day we broke up untill now.

The point of this story is that u can burn urself for a girl thinking she is the one saying i will do everything to protect her and keep her, and u will end up alone losing confidence in urself.

I hate her and i hate her illness become worse and she will suffer for the rest of her life.

[bates--boy]

The alarm went off, the familiar grating of too-early-in-the-fucking morning harsh buzz of many alarm clocks. Except this time, it came from the phone of one of the MizFists members, set at eight-thirty at night. An alarm to get the hip-hop crew to keep to their agreement: that they would stop all the goddamn overnight work and learn to step away from the desk. No more sleeping in the studio in the near future.

As Peter cut off the alarm, the rest rose out of their seats, stretching until backs cracks and blood flowed back to limbs.

"Alright, y'all, let's pick it back up tomorrow," Mike said through a long yawn. He rolled his shoulders and rubbed his neck, looking around at everyone. He clapped his hands and grinned. "Who's up for some drinks?"

Though tired, the MizFists let out a cheer, all except Peter. who said:

"No thanks. I'm going to have to pass."

"You sure, man?" Adel said as he shut off his laptop. "There are a few bars here that have nonalcoholic stuff."

"And I promise you that we won't make you drive us home this time," Mike joked. "Nothing but Uber or Lyft for us!"

Peter rolled his eyes and shook his head, grinning. "Thank you so much for being so considerate." He turned to a fresh page in his journal. "But for real, I can't come. I want to finish this song while I'm still feeling the lyrics, you know? And then, I'm going to Sheer's place to see Sadaf, crack open this new baby aerobics DVD I found for her."

Tommy paused in the middle of tugging his jacket on. "Baby aerobics? That's a thing?" he mumbled mostly to himself.

"Yeah. Sadaf may be too young and small for it, but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try." Peter beamed brightly. "Besides, it'd make for great father-daughter time!"

"You sure?" Mike scowled with a cocked brow. "You haven't been going out much, lately. Don't you think you need a break?"

"What? What're you talking about?" Peter set his pen down on the journal. "I went to that party last week at Acid Rain's house."

"That doesn't count, we spent the entire time networking!"

"Look, Mike... you guys!" Peter waved them off. "I'll take a break soon, okay? I'll even go to the bar with y'all tomorrow, or something. Is that good?"

Mike reached up to rub his brow. "Ya sure, man?"

"Yeah, I'm sure! I'll clean and close up." Peter picked up his pen. "You guys have fun!"

Mike looked over his shoulders, meeting the stares of the rest of the crew; Tarsha shrugged. "...Alright, Pete. We'll see you tomorrow, then."

"'Night!" Peter called out without looking up from his journal, listening to the shuffle of feet and the click of the door closing.

---

After an ill-decision made of having coffee in the dead of night, Peter was in the kitchen washing out the equipment and dishes he used for his drink. He was scrubbing the metal mesh filter when his phone buzzed. Drying his hands, Peter tapped the message open.

[Mike] ayyo man, you still at the studio?

[Mike] listem if yourr nit busy

[Mike] okay wewere talkin aboutt you an d the othhhers didnt want me too say anyting but

God damn, dude is drunk off his ass, Peter thought with a headache.

[Mike] we notcieds that you've been alll aboutt your kid alot. an thats good! its real good, andd youre doon a good job but

[Mike] dont let being a dad be the only thin going in youer life

[Mike] you need some time foor yoursel, and to be shellfish every once in a while

[Mike] *selfish whoops

[Mike] but anywas, trust me as a fellloww father, Peter: dont let yoursefl fall to gthe wayside. that aint good fo r you er Sadaf.

Peter picked up the phone, eyeing the screen as he turned and sat back against the counter. This wasn't true, was it, Peter getting so wrapped up with Sadaf that he was losing himself? He couldn't be, though; he'd taken plenty of breaks by visiting his family...

...So he could tell them about Sadaf,

But he had also visited the bookstore quite a bit...

... Looking for sensory-training picture books for Sadaf.

Peter bit into his bottom lip, tapping his foot on the tiled floor. Wow, maybe they're right...

[anulithots]

IDFUDSIOUF

EEE Smart planner character is named ANkh. Fae does not have a gender because everyone is a tree fairy and therefore there's no gender or romantic shipping which is great for me because I can do whatever fluff I want. (I needed to get as far from humanity as possible)

Faer 'hair color' is... ....

...

(oh gosh what's the color?)

Fae's the one with the spikey features.

Controversial hot take is that fae thinks all societal systems are dumb because they allow present suffering. The 'main system' of the current world is the fallen fairy system, which the three territories have their own version of.

Quick worldbuilding ramble:

They basically siphon off any fairy deemed 'weird' or 'other' to be tied up for a year and if they make any attempts to escape or 'act off', then they have to face the High Protector in the Battle of the Fates (Basically the system acts like it gives the condemned a lot of chances but in actuality its very hard to escape).

Each of the three territories created a version of the fallen fairy system as a response to the pixie crisis, which is based off fungal fairies, which is based off of mycorrhizal fungi, which is based off the mutualistic relationship between trees and mycorrhizal fungi, which is a whole thing in and of itself.

(It's called the 'wood wide web' and basically fungi creates a 'tree capitalism' in which the fungi exchanges messages and nutrients, but this can be just as corrupt and parasitic as it is helpful Trees are more dependent on the fungi than the fungi are on the trees for nutrients and due to degrading soil quality, the mycorrhizal exchanges caused a lot of pain for a lot of tree fairies.).

All of that is to say, fairies that were more isolated or more 'weird' were more dependent on mycorrhizal fairies, and so dryad society shunned them all, and years later you got the fallen fairy system.

OKAY BACK TO ANKH THE PLANNER CHARACTER.

So Ankh's entire belief system revolves around easing present pain as much as possible so life is lived in contentment. ANd they see these societal systems as diseases of sorts, and they concoct all these plans with their friend group (the mentally ill, rejected and sickly sorts with the baby of the group being the happiest other than ANkh - and the baby of the group believes fae won't live to maturity)

That is, until the fallen fairy system kills the baby of the group.

So Ankh then makes this crazy plan to kill the High Protector. This involves getting faerself condemned.

(Anywho so the High Protector and ANkh are in this platonic ship and people seem to love them so that's nice)

ER SO YEA THE FALLEN FAIRY SYSTEM IS REGARDED TO BE ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS KEEPING TREE FAIRIES SAFE FROM THE PAIN OF THE PIXIE CRISIS - THE MYCHORIZAL FUNGI TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THEM - AND ANKH'S TRYING TO TAKE IT DOWN.

Favorite beverages!

Ankh is a healer, which is basically a herbalist. So fae drinks faer water with lots and lots and lots of herbs that keep faer brain fog and lethargy at bay. (Along with making sure all of faer friends stay alive and healthy and.... yea ANkh's pretty much the only one making sure they take care of themselves.)

Fae would prefer hot tea (or in tree fairy case, herbal water that's been placed in the sun for a long time) because it's 'better for you'.

(ANkh is extremely practical and doesn't really get 'feelings', mostly because all of faers are muted and don't bother faer at all. This is just how fae is. Fae doesn't see anything wrong with it. (And there is nothing wrong with it <3))

MORAL COMPASS:

Emotions are dumb. No.

I'll try my best to help but if you continue to be ridiculous about ridiculous things then that's your fault, I'm not infecting this entire [x amount of time] because you're too stubborn.

Society as a whole can burn. Why can't people just... live?

Couldn't care less about a stranger, has no patience for really emotional fairies that get hung up over little things.

Once fae has a plan, fae will do anything and everything to make it work. Things that seem heartless to others are perfectly logical to Ankh.

____

EEE THANK YOU!! Tbh I steal all my worldbuilding from science. Most of the Land of the Fallen Fairies worldbuilding is from science. (Except for the three territories: The Receiver territory, the Guardian territory, and the Unseen. Those are based on three different worldviews/responses to the pixie crisis. The Guardian territory believes tradition and legacy protects you from pain. The Receiver Territory believes living for yourself protects you from pain. And the Unseen believes that the best way to get rid of pain is to actively seek it out and rid of it. The other two territories siphon off fallen fairies to the Unseen... somewhat. There's some controversy in the Receiver territory about it because having fairies condemned goes against their right to live for themselves. IN the Guardian territory all guardians are pretty protective over their heirs, so they don't like their heirs. Siblings get condemned pretty much immediately.)

With the mycorrhizal mycelium I want to take some creative liberties since that world of roots below the soil works like a 'connected headspace'. So I can do WHATEVER I want there. Haven't gotten to writing that part yet.... so if you have any ideas, let me know /not forced.

sorry if I rambled! Thank you for showing interest in my sillies. *adds you to the tag list*

What would your ideal book be like (as in, what theoretical book would be your absolute favourite) what genre, page count, setting, characters, etc would it have?

oohhhh this is such an interesting ask. hmm i'll have to lay this out in dot points

BE READY FOR LOTS OF TEXT!

also i am indecisive and messy so my opinions will probably change idk T-T

alr here we go

- genre: psychological novel? im not exactly sure what the genre is but i love when books follow a mentally ill character that's just trying their best to navigate through life, and the book is about the way they interact with their surrounds and respond to issues and cope with their past and come to decisions, iykwim?

BUT I WANT FANTASY in it too so it will be epic. i love fantasy world building and i love when it makes so so so much sense. it would be cool if they had elements and got sorted into elemental groups too- that is so satisfying and fun to read.

- page count: probably 500. personally i think a normal book is 300, and it seems daunting when it's got like 700 pagesz but considering that this is my ideal book, i think i'd be sad if it had less than 400 pages (cus the story would be over soon) so i'd say 500 pages is the perfect amount.

- setting: in terms of time, i never really cared for it. i realise that i should probably have a preference on which century i like to read, but i find that characters can be mentally ill and epic no matter if they are from the future or the past.

in terms of location, hmm i wouldn't want to read about a character being anywhere with tropical or summery vibes. i like my characters knee deep in snow and drenched from head to toe in rain. it keeps them depressed and relatable ^^ (/hj....?)

oh also it would be cool if the country and places were mad up, since that this is a fantasy.

WAIT OR asia. i am obsessed with books that focuses on/is based off asia :)

- characters: trios are the best and i will die on that hill. ok like i dont need the trios to be together 24/7 but i need there to be THREE main characters if you know what i mean. one of them can be an antihero idc. it just has to be THREE.

oh also i love to read in the perspective of characters who are ambitious and feisty and impulsive because they're the opposite of me. but also i'd like them (idc abt gender) to be cunning, witty and good at making plans.

another character that i need in the trio is the smart one. there HAS to be a smart side character or else i will NOT fall in love with the book. i need the character who makes all the entensive plans. i need the character who is a walking dictionary. i need the character who hates to fight and would rather be learning but is somehow good at it and therefore forced to fight alongside the makn character. (oopsies im just describing the poppy war. but that is not a crime ;])

if its a soldier poet king trio i will be obsessed with it forever and ever

ok so for the stuff that u didnt ask but im gonna include:

-writing style: advanced. work my mind to death but enrichen it at the same time. i dont mind a difficult and layered magic system- in fact i LOVE THOSE, as long as they make sense and they are creative. do not give me that "she let out a breath she didnt know she was holding" bs.

i want "the night circus" level description when it comes to settings. i need to see taste hear smell FEEL the fucking surroundings

-vibe: doomed from the start. i dont want my characters to be happy. make me fall in love and then break my heart and do not apologise for it :,) (shit am i masochistic? damn)

- others: it would be cool if it is somehow relevant to our present irl current political state/ real world problems. it would be even cooler if it somehow fits a ton of mitski songs. also gayness is very welcomed

yeahh thats all i got for now. oops i wrote alot. at the start of my reply i was thinking along the lines of solitaire and crime and punishment and no longer human, but then it was all scrapped and i based it all off of the poppy war trilogy because it did fantasy and character dynamics/personalities/backstories SO RIGHT.

tysmmm for this ask. i would love to ask it right back, but i dont know who you are :(( ahsvsj feel free to tell me anyways tho in my askbox as an anon !!

*this was not proofread

[shareyoursunshines]

.

[fangirleaconmigo]

I finished The Umbrella Academy S3 here are my thoughts, good, bad, and otherwise.

Good:

Fei is hot. I was like 😍

Five is still an icon. I thought I’d miss his uniform but nope the old man look suited him. I continue being absolutely delighted by him.

It’s my favorite Klaus arc. I know people loved the cult thing but he was so self absorbed and I’m like eh I wanna see the soft marshmallow insides and while it hurt to see him try and be rejected by his parents, it was also #relatable and I loved him. And I loved seeing him develop his powers.

Viktor coming out was handled really well. All of it was in character and focused on but not used or exploited.

Dance scenes. I’m a basic bitch who cannot get enough of them.

Sibling team ups. Viktor and Allison in Ep 1-2, Klaus and Five on the ball of twine tour. NO TWINE NO BIRTH MOTHER. And the perfect convo about family in front of the twine. My heart grew three sizes. And Klaus going YOU’VE RUINED THE AMISH FOR ME.

Dieguito being a dad was hilarious. I was so crushed for him when he found out the kid wasn’t his. Then so relieved at least Lila didn’t fully lie and is pregnant.

The wedding ep was so good. I’m such a sucker for the “night before the apocalypse” episodes of anything. Idk it’s the heightened savoring of every last moment, it’s saying things you would never have had the guts to say, it’s loving big because in the end that’s the only thing that really matters.

Asshole Ben coming apart at the end and bonding with Klaus was hilarious.

I was glad they had the dad be still evil in the end because that’s how I saw his character and that made absolute sense to me.

Primo sibling banter and bickering and complicated love, which where else can I get this? Pump it into my veins.

Bad:

I hated what they did with Harlan I just did. I hated it. Firstly, the “I can’t control my powers so I wreak havoc which traumatizes me but no one gets that I’m innocent” trope is overused *in their own show* much less everywhere else. So that was boring. Secondly I *hate* that they took the canon autistic child, made him use his ‘powers’ which in fantasy is usually code for mental or neurological difference, made it ‘dangerous’ then had an umbrella murder him. AND it fucked up what was such a beautiful story with Viktor and Sissy

Speaking of Harlan, I hated that the Umbrellas were like OH WELL GOTTA KILL HIM FOR THE SPARROWS. I get what they were *trying* to go for (we’ve all killed people to save the world, and killing is killing right???) um no. All killing is not morally equal. What is this a phil 101 class and you just walked in the door without doing your reading? Second of all, trying to kill the high powered person, Last time you tried it, ended the world. I was furious when Luther was telling Viktor it had to be done. Give me a break bc it worked so well last time? Third, it would have made WAY more sense to enlist Harlan to resist against the sparrows. One of him is more powerful than all of them put together. So basically, it didn’t make sense, ethically was not as deep as they thought, and I hated what it did to Sissy and Harlan as a story.

I hated that they had Allison sexually violate Luther. There are people who are like…she’s done this kind of thing before pre-S1. It’s not out of character. Idk if that’s true? Is it the same exact thing? Debatable. But more importantly, we’ve seen her char develop since then.

And I found her choices understandable up to that point. She had been through unbelievable trauma and was coming apart at the seams. I was completely with her up until that point. Not that I liked her choices, but I understood them. They were trying to actually take seriously the effects of that kind of horrific trauma. And probably respond to criticism that the Black woman character was always stripped of her power or her voice either by choice or not.

But having her violate him like that is horrific and to me didn’t follow from her other poor Choices which were “Ill do anything to get back to my kid”. So. Idk. How did that get her back to her kid? That didn’t need to happen and it didn’t further her story. It felt like it was for shock value. And then having her kill Harlan on top of it gahhhhhhhbbb. I just really love Allison as a character and I feel like they mishandled her arc.

Neither bad nor good just questions:

Lila was flirting with Five, right? That wasn’t just me? We’re they trying to remind us he’s an adult this season?

Diego’s fake kid…I was surprised he didn’t turn out to be some kind of important part of the plot. The ear oozing made me think something else was going on. Like he was gonna be the warrior or an alien like their dad or something. In scifi, ear oozing means aliens usually. Like when someone coughs blood they’ll be dead within the hour. It’s a trope.

I didn’t fully understand the plot but I didn’t care. I don’t even try to follow time travel plots bc they never make sense. Like, I fully turn my brain off.

Sooo in sum:

Glad I got to spend time with my umbrellas and I still love them but this was my least favorite season.

[thingstotellthem]

you made it impossible for me to talk to you. everytime i needed to vent or someone to talk to you dismissed me and said you were "too busy" you never fucking tried. for fuck sake tariel it got to a point where i accepted that i would never be able to speak. i accepted that You would vent to me but i was never allowed to vent back - AND THEN YOU HAD THE AUDACITY TO GET ANGRY AT ME FOR NOT VENTING TO YOU? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? YOU PUT ME IN A BOX AND TOLD ME NOT TO SPEAK OUT OF TURN AND THEN GOT ANGRY WHEN I DID EXACTLY THAT. YOU GOT UPSET "you never tell me anyting!" YOU DISMISSED ME OR IGNORED ME WHENEVER I TRIED. so i accepted dulling myself, i accepted that i was there to give you attention and you would ignore me-- AND THEN YOU WALK AROUND LIKE YOURE THE GOOD GUY? FORGET THE ABUSE YOU PUT ME THROUGH-- youre a bad person. but i dont need to tell you this, you already know. im sorry no one can love you in the way you need. im sorry you will never be good enough to deserve that type of love. im sorry to everyone youve hurt before me. m sorry to my friends who warned me, but i wont be sorry for the love i hold in my heart. i wont be sorry for finding new love and for allowing them to kiss me clean and keep me safe. i was surrounded by your toxicity for long i forget to love the little things. i forgot how much i love fresh water, forehead kisses, long hugs, sudden surprise messages and most of all life. i love living. i cant wait to grow old - you tried so hard to take this away from me, to say i would be depressed and toxic like you when i grew up. im so glad to know i never will, to know ill always be in love with life and growing up and friends. i dont want good things to come to you, but i wish you the best on realising youre toxic and getting some help.

[shimmeringclouds]

Todomatsu - Kill her? Why Would I?

𝘛𝘰𝘥𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶 𝘟 𝘚𝘪𝘤𝘬!𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

(Can you tell I'm running out of title ideas)

"[Y/N]!" Todomatsu sang from outside your front door, rocking back and forth on his heels excitedly. "We're gonna hang out today, remember?"

It was silent from the other side of the door. His smile faltered for a split second before he knocked again.

"[Y/N]...? Y-You haven't forgotten, have you?" His laugh was tense while he fidgeted with his fingers, shifting from one foot to the other. He tried again, louder this time.

"Hey! Did you sleep in? You're at home, right?" He hated how desperate he sounded, but this was you he was talking about. One of the few people (if not, only person) he truly cared about. The one person he wanted to keep by him for as long as he could before those five demons came along and messed everything up for good.

The thuds on your door echoed throughout your apartment before shuffling was heard from behind the door. Todomatsu froze as it began to unlock and open slowly, squeaking on its hinges. He gasped, quite dramatically.

There you stood. Still donned in your pyjamas, with your hair very dishevelled and eyes rimmed a pale pink. You were breathing a little heavy for someone who just walked a few feet to their door. All in all, you didn't look good. Todomatsu would never say it out loud, but you looked horrible.

"[Y/N]? Are you okay?" He quickly asked after a split second of silence. You clutched onto the door frame, a guilty frown on your lips.

"Todomatsu.." he flinched at how dry your voice sounded, "I'm so sorry.. I didn't forget about our plans today, but I got sick. I meant to call, but my mind's been all fuzzy..." At those words, your legs wobbled dangerously. Although you were using the doorframe as a stand, you began sliding down to the ground as all strength dissipated from your body.

The man leapt into action, hastily wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you against him. He could feel your body heating up through your clothing (which he tried not to let get to him. It wasn't the right time).

"S-Sorry.." you mumbled. You tried to push him away with feeble hands, only for him to hold you tighter. "Don't, Todomatsu! You'll just get sick, too!"

"It doesn't matter," he stood up carefully with you still in his arms, leading you back inside with no struggle. "I can just pass it on to my brothers. I'm not gonna let you stay like this on your own, though. Who do you think I am?"

You were taken back to your bedroom, and you thanked your past self for at least managing to keep it tidy, save for your bed. Todomatsu straightened it out a bit before helping you sit back down. His cheeks flushed a light pink as he moved away.

"I'm gonna get some stuff from back home. My mom has some kind of homemade remedies for this kind of stuff. In the meantime, you..." he cleared his throat. Now was not the time to act like some kind of virgin. "Y-You should change out of your c-clothes, since you're probably... s-sweaty. I'll be back later!"

He cursed himself for stammering and that damn squeakiness in his voice, hoping you hadn't seen too much of his now flushed face. If you didn't know any better, you would think that he was the one who was ill.

You let out a small smile as you slowly went about gathering a fresh set of pyjamas, the image of his pretty pink cheeks and quivering lips stuck in your mind.

»»-----　♔　-----««

The door to the Matsuno home slammed open and shut in a hurry, startling the five others in the living room. They watched curiously was the youngest brother rushed through to the kitchen, making quite the racket as he rummaged through various cupboards and shelves.

"Todomatsu?" Choromatsu called from the doorway, squashed by the others. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." He replied blankly, pointedly ignoring them as he reached up for a small container. Ichimatsu glared at his younger sibling, knowing he was hiding something.

"What a dry monster..." he murmured darkly.

"Totty!" Osomatsu leaned against the small table in the kitchen. "C'mon! You can tell your favourite older brother what's going on, right?" He cooed.

"Of course he will tell me!" Karamatsu jumped in, pushing Osomatsu out of the way. "Dear burazza, whatever the issue is, just know that I, your absolute favourite older brother, am here for-!"

"Why are you getting the homemade medicine?" Jyushimatsu asked, covering his mouth with along sleeve.

"Eh..?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Todomatsu shoved the small containers and numerous other medicines into his bag before adjusting the strap over his shoulder, preparing to walk out as if nothing had happened. However, he knew that a fight was to be fought as the aura of his demonic brothers flooded the doorway, blocking his escape.

"Now, now, Totty," Choromatsu grinned darkly. "Just tell us what's going on and we'll let you go."

"Don't try to bluff your way out of this," Ichimatsu toothily smiled, placing a hand on Todomatsu's shoulder with a painfully obvious tight grip. "Play nice with your onii-sans, okay?"

Todomatsu's expression was blank as he stared down at the ground. He flexed his fingers around the strap of his bag, taking a deep breath.

"[Y/N]'s sick."

A tense silence filled the room.

"...Huh-?"

"So.." His face contorted into fury, eyes practically bulging from their sockets as he suddenly grabbed the kitchen table, chucking it across the room towards his shocked brothers. "Get out of my way!!"

His screams echoed through the house as he took off at a sprint, leaving his brothers in the dust. They all squirmed to get out of the pile of heavy bodies and wooden bits of table crushing them down.

"What the hell was that about?!" Osomatsu wheezed as Jyushimatsu pressed his body weight further into him instead of getting up, laughing giddily.

"Totty's gonna kill her, probably!" The yellow clad boy chuckled.

"How can you sound so positive when you say something like that?" Choromatsu scolded, being the first to squeeze out of the pile.

"Get off me, Shittymatsu!" Ichimatsu growled, kicking at his older brother as he scrambled out next. Karamatsu fell to the ground with a light thud, groaning as he rubbed at his head.

"M-My apologies, burazza..."

"This is an emergency!" Choromatsu cried.

"Shouldn't that be my line..?" Osomatsu mumbled underneath his breath, sitting up.

"If we don't hurry, Todomatsu's gonna kill [Y/N]!"

"What if Todomatsu's actually trying to help her, though? We shouldn't doubt our youngest this quickly," Karamatsu contemplated, cupping his chin. He felt a hand grab his shoudler, finding Osomatsu staring at him with a tense smile.

"Don't you remember what he did to us the last time we got sick?" He reminded. "He set us on fire, the little bastard."

"...True." Karamatsu began to sweat, worried for your safety like the others. They all leapt to their feet, rushing out the door together.

"We're gonna save [Y/N]!" Jyushimatsu announced excitedly, waving his arms around as they all took off down the street, heading towards your apartment.

»»-----　♔　-----««

"I'm back!" Todomatsu sang happily, as if he hadn't just ran for his life. He popped his head into your room, smiling softly as you tried to sit up.

"You didn't have to do this, Totty.." you clutched your head, feeling dizzy. The man came over and guided you with soft hands, fluffing the pillow behind you so that you were comfortable.

"You're right, I don't have to. But I want to look after you," you were a little surprised by how soothing his voice was, only for him to snap back out of it. "Doesn't that just make me the best? Teehee!"

You rolled your eyes playfully, swatting weakly at him with your hands. He chuckled as he rummaged through his bag, bringing out the medicine.

"I'll just go and grab a spoon.." he mumbled, leaving for a moment and returning with the utensil in hand. He settled beside you, pouring the liquid onto the metal.

"Say 'aah!'" He teased mischievously, making you giggle. You took the spoon into your mouth, face scrunching up almost instantly at the weird, tangy taste lingering in your mouth.

Todomatsu laughed loudly at your reaction, pressing a kiss to your temple.

"That was adorable! I should've taken a picture!" He nuzzled into your hair before pulling away, sure that the redness of your cheeks wasn't entirely from you being sick.

You covered your face with a whine, wishing you could hide in your bedsheets if it wasn't so warm. Todomatsu smiled fondly at you, opening his mouth to say something else.

"[Y/N]!!!"

There was a loud bang from the other room, startling you both heavily. Todomatsu shot up out of his seat, running over to the front door to find his brothers on the floor in a heap once again, the front door barely hanging on its hinges with a large crack in the wall from where it hit.

You stumbled after him, gasping at the wreckage of your home.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?!" Todomatsu screeched, seemingly more frustrated than you.

"We came to save [Y/N]! What else does it look like?" Osomatsu replied with a pointed look. All heads whipped towards you, taking in your appearance.

"[Y/N], are you hurt?" Choromatsu asked, trying to crawl towards you only for Todomatsu to kick his face.

"Did he actually give you poison and not medicine?" Ichimatsu asked next, earning himself a smack.

"Did Totty try to set you on fire?!" Jyushimatsu called, crying out after he get pushed back out the door.

"Did he-"

"Shut up, Shittymatsu!!" Todomatsu screamed, attempting to push everyone out. "Why do you all think I'm trying to kill her?!"

"Because that's just who you are!" They all responded.

You watched on in shock as they continued to argue violently in front of you. Releasing a heavy sigh, you massaged your forehead. A really bad headache was coming on...

"Guys!" You yelled suddenly, freezing everyone in place. "Todomatsu's looking after me! He hasn't done anything to hurt me and he never will, okay?"

"But-!"

"I think we all know that if he, or anyone, tried to do anything, I would kick your asses harder than Totoko can punch."

Your threat hung heavy in the air, making them gulp. You dragged your feet over to the pile of bodies in your doorway, removing Todomatsu from their clutches and looking down st the others on the floor.

"Thank you for being concerned, but there's no issue other than me being sick. I trust him to take care of me, so there's nothing to worry about, okay?"

You were met with silence. Another sigh, you tugged at your door, thankful that it was still somewhat intact. You began closing it up, offering a final goodbye to the Matsuno brothers before shutting it completely.

Todomatsu was tense behind you, eyes worriedly darting from you to the door.

"I-I'm really sorry about that.. You know how idiotic they can be!" He pointed at the door, hoping you wouldn't get mad at him. Instead, you turned to him with a tired hit gentle smile.

"I'm not mad, Totty," you weaves your hand into his, intertwining your fingers and tugging him back to your room. "Let's just forget about it. You're still gonna take care of me, right?"

"Todomatsu!" Osomatsu yelled from behind the door. "If you don't come back a virgin, then don't come back at all!"

You both rolled your eyes, Todomatsu's deathly aura increasing slightly. Way to ruin a sweet moment...

[constancelaufeydottir]

Help me, help you

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: Attempted suicide, mentions of mental illness and eating disorders, angst, fluff(?)

Summary: You seek help from the stranger who saved you the night you sought for an escape, maybe you weren’t the only one who needs saving.

A/N: This is my first ever fic here! I’ve never written anything before and I’m really anxious to put this out here, please bear with me if I make any grammatical mistakes and let me know what you think!

You probably shouldn’t be doing this. They said you’d disappoint your family and people around you would be sad. But the water, it’s tempting. A dive, and your problems would be gone.

To be honest, you don’t think you family cares at all. They’ve got bigger things to worry about, you sister’s engagement, your brother’s enrolment in college. After all, you were the unwanted kid, an accident. The only time you caught your parents’ attention was when you butchered your job interview. You had prepared thoroughly but a stomach bug ruined it all and your parents blamed you for it, saying they always knew you were a failure, a disgrace to the family.

They didn’t even ask where you were going tonight. They never cared unless you had big achievements in your life or maybe when your failure was too huge for them to ignore.

The sloshing of the water is luring you to jump into it. The deep dark waters inviting you to join the others who had succeeded before you. You moved your feet a little towards the edge of the railings, embracing the chilling midnight wind as you closed your eyes. This is the end, you thought, your foot dangling over the railings ready to plummet into the river.

You felt an arm circling your waist and pulling you backwards until your back hit the ground, a palm caging the back of your head, preventing it from hitting the hard ground.

“Ma’am, are you alright?” You heard a deep voice coming from the right side of your body, hands were on your shoulders gently shaking. You blinked a few times, the blinding lights made you wince as you closed your eyes again with your hand shielding them.

The man who saved you helped you sat up, kneeling beside you to ensure your safety. You took time to have a close look at the good Samaritan. His hair was long, stopping a little lower down his ears. Eyes was the colour of the ocean, almost enticing as the water. His chin adorned with a scruffy beard, lips curving in a small smile. If it weren’t for your bad mood right now, you would have joked that he looked like a modern version of Jesus.

“Why?” You whispered, so quietly if not for his enhance hearing, the man wouldn’t have heard you. “Why did you save me?” You cried out, hands trembling as they grasped the collar of his bomber jacket. Your teary face surprised him and your sniffles made his heart tightened.

“I- I can’t let you die!” He exclaimed. The tears in your eyes spilled out again as you collapsed into the stranger’s chest, crying your heart out. He felt the vulnerability in your voice and hugged you tighter, palms meeting behind you and patted your back to comfort you.

You didn’t know how long you sat there crying in the man’s arms. Your tears soaked the dark red Henley underneath his jacket, causing it to stick onto his firm chest but he did not utter a single word, instead opting to calm you down.

You had no idea how you got home, except for the fact that you vaguely recalled ending up in the arms of a certain stranger, the rest was a blur.

You woke up on the couch the next morning, your phone alarm blaring. The hard rectangular metal was digging the soft flesh of your butt and you groggily dig it out of your back pocket turning the alarm off.

There was a sweet smell of pancake wafted from the kitchen and you sniffed at the smell, face scrunching when you didn’t remember having someone over. The thought of someone unfamiliar inviting themselves into your house alarmed you and your hastily got up from the couch, a pillow in your hand as you inched slowly towards the kitchen. Peeking your head around the corner, you found a tall and broad figure in the space, hands fumbling around with something. You couldn’t see clearly who that was, your glasses were in your bedroom the last time your saw it.

You knew the stranger in your house could never be your brother because one, he was an asshole who gave no fucks about his sister’s life and two, your both hated each other’s guts. Your breath quickened as the intruder suddenly turned his head towards your direction. You yelped as you threw the pillow at him, or the general direction where he was standing.

Of course, you missed the target when he walked towards you. “Shit, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die.” You shut your eyes as you heard his footsteps getting closer and closer to you.

“Hey, you’re awake!” You squinted at the man, trying to make out the features of his blurry face. He looked oddly like the guy who saved you on the bridge last night. He moved closer to you when he realized you couldn’t see him clearly. Your eyes widen at the sudden close proximity, your lips were slightly parted. You could feel his breath against your face, his long lashes and that steel blue eyes.

“Y-you!” Instantly, you were conscious of your own appearance, your eyes must have been puffy from last night’s non-stop crying. There were probably still dried tears on your face. Adverting your gaze from his, you looked to the side as you slid out of the slightly awkward situation. Walking towards the counter, you pulled out a wet tissue and wiped your stiff face with it then retrieving the cold spoons you kept in the freezer.

He laughed when you put the spoons on your eyes, you sighed at the cool sensation soothing the puffiness of your eyelids. “Don’t laugh. It’s effective,” you glared at him.

“Alright, alright.” He threw his hands up. “I’m Bucky,” his hand extended outward, waiting for you to shake it. “Y/N.” He smiled, eyes crinkled as you reciprocate the gesture.

He cooked you breakfast, although it was a simple one, you were still grateful.

“Thank you for last night,” you gave him a genuine smile as he was seated across you on the dining table, stuffing his mouth with the pancakes. “It’s nice to see that someone cares.” This time you smile didn’t quite reach your eyes and he caught it.

Grabbing your hand across the table, he looked at you in the eyes with sincerity. “It’s the least I could do.” Taking a deep breath, cautiously he spoke up. “Y/N, I know it’s not my place to say this but seek for professional help if you aren’t feeling fine. Maybe just talk to someone or … go see a therapist.”

“Are you insinuating that I have depression?” You scoffed. Your eyebrows furrowed in annoyance as you snatched your hand from his grasp and crossed your arms in front of your chest defensively.

Depression? No, you couldn’t have had depression. It’s a sign of weakness, you father said. Depression is just a fancy term to describe one’s laziness, that’s what your mother told you.

“I’m not insinuating anyt-”

“Get out,” you interrupted, “get out of my house!” Enraged, you pointed towards the door while snapping at him. How dare he, a stranger suggested that there was something wrong with you.

Sighing, Bucky gave you a taut smile while nodding then placed a piece of paper on the coffee table on his way out. “Here’s my number in case you needed any help.” He paced towards the door opening it, giving you a last glance before leaving.

It’s been weeks now since you yelled at Bucky to get out of your house. You felt bad and deep down there you knew he was right, but the stigma surrounding mental illnesses was extremely terrifying to you. Not to mention what will happen if your family found out. You were a major disappointment in your household already and you definitely wouldn’t want to add a mental illness into the mix.

You were sitting in your office, typing on the keyboard furiously. Honestly you didn’t know why you were still here. This job sucks, even though the salary was high and you’d just been promoted to manager of the department. Chewing on your nails and bouncing your legs under the desk, you felt the need to just leave everything and go home.

The drive home was painful, you simply had no energy to do so but you still had to go home, your only safe place. Taking off your shoes, changing out your clothes, you lied on the bed. Your stomach grumbled, protesting at the lack of food in your system but you just couldn’t get yourself off the bed to make something for yourself. Your mind travelled back to the day you were on that bridge. You didn’t actually seek for death, all you sought for was an escape. An escape from reality, from your parents, from the constant judgements of people surrounding you.

As you closed your eyes, you wished that tomorrow never comes.

Another day, another disappointment. You were still alive, and the world seemed a wee bit duller than before. Skipping breakfast, you went to work as usual, plastering the faux smile on your face which everybody seemed to liked and expected from you. In this workplace, everybody’s gotta put on a façade and that included you but you dreaded the day where there would be a crack in your mask. Until then, you just had to work harder to reinforce it because according to your parents, nobody would want to see the real you, it was unpleasant … and ugly.

“I gotta say. Miss Y/L/N, you are spectacular. Being one of the Y/L/N, I bet it was a lot of pressure but you have done such amazing job, I think your parents would be so proud of you.” A client who was a family friend was seated across you, a wide grin on her face as her face crinkled rambling about how lucky you were being born into a family filled with successful people.

You smiled and thank her for her compliments, cutting the steak your ordered into bite-size pieces. Poking into one of the pieces with your fork, you lifted it up to your lips. Taking a deep breath, you put it into your mouth and instantly you felt like you were about to throw up. Fighting the urge to spit it out, you endured the taste of the meat as you bite at it mechanically. Looking down at your plate of steak, you no longer feel the appetite to consume any more of it.

Everyday you woke up, you wondered how long would it be until the colours faded into grey. Perhaps it was the only thing keeping you alive right now, counting the days until the beautiful hue of the sunsets no longer amazes you; the sight of puppies doesn’t excite you; the thought of having ice cream whenever you can no longer sounds appealing to you.

You should get some help, you really should. Your body was deteriorating, you could feel it. You weren’t in denial anymore; you knew there was something gravely wrong about you. Your body couldn’t afford being in denial. The loss of radiance in your face, the hair and weight loss and most importantly, you couldn’t put on a façade anymore.

Bucky rushed towards your apartment when you called, he could hear how shaky your voice was. He was extremely worried the past weeks even though he had only met you once. Maybe it was because he was in that dark place before and was able to relate or maybe he took a liking to you. He found himself constantly wondering whether you were well and how long would it take for your stubborn ass to call him.

He arrived at your place as fast as he could, probably drove past a few red lights but he couldn’t care less. He was more worried about you that the fine he would have to pay.

Bucky stormed past the hallway, straight to your unit and knocked on the door when he couldn’t open it. He received no response from you and his mind immediately went straight to the negative thoughts. His heart raced as he banged on the door, shouting your name several times.

He was about to break his way into your apartment when he saw the door opened slightly, your tired eyes meeting his concerned ones. He made his way into the space and immediately got the wind knocked out of him when you hurled yourself into his chest.

“Imsorryimsorryimsorry.” You kept chanting your apologies as you broke down in his embrace. You felt as if you were floating in the middle of the ocean succumbing into nothingness and he was the anchor, helping you to stay in one place. He was a mere stranger to you yet he witnessed every vulnerable side of you, if only your family could share the same level of concern as he did.

“Shh, shh. I’m here now,” he guided both of you to the couch with you still tightly in his arms, smoothing a palm on your back gently patting you. You hiccupped, eyes teary while you tried to calm yourself down. The tears however would not co-operate, it was like a broken faucet and no matter what you try it wouldn’t fix itself. “I’m really sorry for lashing out last time.”

He didn’t say anything, only wiped your tears with the sleeve of his sweater instead. Maybe it was the fatigue of crying too much or the absence of food in your body, you drifted into sleep in his arms while he hummed songs to you.

You woke up in the middle of the night when you heard the heavy breaths of the man. Half awake, you blindly reach out for your glasses on the night stand, vision clearer as you saw the door to your bedroom was wide opened. Getting on your feet, you moved towards the source of the noises carefully and realized it came from Bucky who was now thrashing on the couch in your living room.

He was groaning, clutching at his left arm painfully as if it was burned. A sheen of sweat could be seen on his forehead, strays of hair sticking onto the sides of his face. The front of his wife beater clung onto his chest soaked by perspiration. His groans soon turned into agonizing screams as he tossed and turned on your couch. You noticed webs of burn scars littering the expanse of his left shoulder to his arm and felt your heart tightened at the sight of it.

You hastily knelt in front of the couch, hand gripping on his shoulder and his face. “Bucky! Bucky!” His eyes shot open at your voice, flinching at the sight of you. Hands balled into fists in front of his chest, he was ready to take on any attack coming at his way. He visibly relaxed when he broke out of the haze, pushing his hair back with his hand with a bashful look on his face.

His muscles tensed when your hand reached out to his shoulder, but then slackened when you pulled him into a hug. His head fell onto your shoulder as you patted on his back like how he did for you just a few hours ago, ignoring the sweat gliding down his skin.

It must have been hours; the two of you sitting there in an embrace on your couch, not wanting to let each other go after what you both have been through. No one spoke a word and there was only silence in the large apartment of yours. The faint ray of sunlight peeked through the blinds, gleaming into your apartment reminding you to start the day.

He was the one who broke the hug, an awkward silence now surrounding the both of you. “Thank you … for helping me, even though I was supposed to be the one helping you,” his voice was raspy from the groans and moans. “It’s … uh nothing,” you shrugged, dragging your worn body to make some hot chocolate for him even though your body was screaming for you to lay in the bed, rotting your day away.

Your hands trembled as you passed him the mug. “Where’s yours?” Your head tilted at his question, not quite sure what he was asking about.

“Y/N, how long have you not eaten anything?” You turned your head away, not meeting his determined gaze. You wished he didn’t catch the glint of guilt in your eyes, but you knew he did.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He clenched his jaw at your statement.

“You called me, Y/N. You called me because you need help and I can’t help you if you’re not honest with me.” You gulped at his words. His eyebrows were furrowed and it triggered a fear in you; you didn’t want to disappoint him like you did to your parents.

Your lips quivered a little, eyes darting to the carpet. “I couldn’t find the energy to eat, it’s just too much work. These days it’s either eat or shower. Since I don’t have any appetite anymore, I dedicated all the energy to shower then. But I have a feeling that I might not even have the energy to drag myself to take a shower or even get up in the mornings soon. It’s just so tiring, where do people even get those energy from?”

“Well, we’ll deal with it one step at a time, okay?” Bucky tilted your chin up to make you look him in the eyes. You whispered a meek ‘ok’, suddenly tired at the lack of sleep.

He handed you the now warm hot chocolate, a stern stare on his face. “At least have some fluids in your system, please.” His gaze softened when he saw you gulping at the sight of the warm brown liquid, nose scrunched up in disgust.

He noticed your discomfort and gestured you to wait while he went to your kitchen and rummaged around the drawers only to return with a spoon.

“Baby steps, okay? Just 5 spoons of it then we’re done.” You nodded while he passed the spoon to you.

The whole morning was spent with Bucky in the living room, him giving your warm encouraging smiles whenever you managed to swallow a spoonful of the chocolate drink.

“Go get some sleep,” he gave your knee a few light taps before proceeding to pull you off the couch and guide you back to your room, then went back to the couch himself to get some shut-eye.

Sending a message to your assistant that you would have to take a few days off, you didn’t wait until you get a reply and plopped yourself on the bed, once again drifting into sleep hoping tomorrow would be better than today.

[jerzwriter]

Can you tell us how Casey feels about money? And how does she feel about sex? I know crap happened yesterday so I understand if you think this is shade and don't answer it. The only reason I ask is I love Casey and I want to learn more so I understand better and maybe others understand it at all.

Hi Nonny,

I sat on this one for a bit for exactly the reasons you state. I thank you for being forthcoming or I likely wouldn't have answered. And, while I don't think I need to defend my MC against the utter bullshit spewed yesterday, I don't think clarifying is a bad thing.

More below...

Money:

Casey is not about money. She hates the way the US healthcare system is centered around money and would prefer a not-for-profit model; she firmly believes the for-profit model corrupts it from the start and instantly values the lives of the wealthy above those of the poor and, in her eyes, all people are equal.

Personally, she comes from a humble background. Her family was lower-middle class during her childhood years, and they went bankrupt after her mother became ill. Her Dad was a schoolteacher and working on his master's. Eventually, he became a high school principal and their financial situation stabilized a bit, but they were still very paycheck to paycheck until Casey was an adult.

Her mother was a pre-school teacher but was out of work most of Casey's childhood due to her illness. She wrote children's books and had moderate success, but it wasn't very lucrative. Once her health improved, she also went back to school to earn her bachelor's degree in English, and eventually, she became an editor.

Casey grew up in a neighborhood some would consider rough in Philadelphia, and she really loved it there despite some of the problems it had. Her family scrimped and saved, her dad working two jobs, so they could move to a more affluent suburb so Casey could attend a better high school, and academically it was wonderful, but she was never happy there.

As an adult, she's not comfortable with the wealth that surrounds her (in both Ethan and Tobias universes) and insists on giving back as much as possible. She learns that it's OK to enjoy some of the benefits of having money, but she always gives back.

In E/C universe, she eventually leaves Edenbrook to begin non-profit healthcare clinics in Boston, eventually expanding them to her hometown of Philadelphia and Ethan's hometown of Province. When Ethan offers to pay off her student loans she balks and will not have it. He has to convince her that, as a soon-to-be-married couple they are a team now and they will work together to do everything, including paying off her debt.

In T/C universe, I HC Tobias is from an old-money family from Washington, DC. From the beginning, he tells her to relax and enjoy it, but it's not an easy thing for her to do. As in E/C world, once they are married she is like "We are giving a lot of this away bro, we can live quite well, our kids can live quite well, and this money can be helping others in need all at the same time."

In DTI, when she ends up (out of necessity) living with Tobias (as a friend, at first) he insists she doesn't have to contribute, he has plenty of money and she's still a resident and does not, and she insists that she is not doing that.

So, no, Casey is as far from a "gold-digger" as you can get.

Sexually:

First, Casey is bisexual. Unless you read into the character and her background, it's not widely known because her pairings happen to be with men which makes her no less bisexual. She has had relationships with women in the past and, as I write her history, we'll learn more about when she came to realize she was bisexual and we will meet one of her girlfriends, Jessica, whom she could have been a lifelong thing, but the timing was not right.

Beyond that, she views sex as a normal, healthy expression and sees the taboos surrounding it as mostly misogynistic mores created for the benefit of men. She feels that anything two consenting adults want to do that does not hurt others is their business and no one has a right to stick their nose into it.

She has a healthy sexual appetite and she is more than happy to be explorative. She is not, nor has she ever been, promiscuous, but she doesn't judge others for dancing to their own tune on this. Again, as long as everyone is upfront with each other. While she has had one or two "friends with benefits" situations, including Bryce, it's not her norm. Usually, she is in a monogamous relationship and she has never cheated and abhors people who do. NOT EVEN IN MY LOVE TRIANGLE DOES SHE CHEAT. In canon (and in my HC), she has a FWB relationship with Bryce, but she calls the benefits part off as soon as she realizes she has real feelings for Ethan even though she is not with Ethan, nor does she believe she will be with Ethan, at the time. Because she just finds it morally wrong for her to be with one person in that manner when she knows she is falling in love with someone else.

Ethan and Casey have a great sex life. They try to enjoy each other as often as possible. Sometimes it's playful, sometimes it's loving and tender, and sometimes it's a little kinky. They're open with each other as to what they'd like to try and this is just one part of their relationship. It's one form of the love they share with each other, it's an expression of their love even when it's not the loving/tender variety.

Tobias and Casey are the same but on speed. Someone once asked if this makes their relationship "lesser" and the answer is an emphatic NO. Their relationship developed differently, and it started with an insanely strong physical attraction to one another (which, for one reason or another, they didn't get to give into for a long while). But in time, they came to understand it wasn't just a physical attraction, it was a bond that just existed between them from the start. Again, all that can be said about E/C applies here, but they're almost insatiable. Part of it is because this is the first time in his adult life that he feels this strongly about someone and he simply cannot get enough of her.

Newsflash... studies show that couples with satisfying sex lives tend to have happier/healthier relationships. And both of these pairings start "complicated" but develop into loving/happy/lifelong relationships.

So, no, Casey is also not a "slut" nor would she allow anyone to use that word about anyone else.

So, that's Casey. Personally, I think she's awesome. :) Thanks for this ask, and being upfront about it, Nonny!

@liaromancewriter

[blorbiter]

hihi i rlly like ur artstyle and i was wondering if you could give a basic rundown on how you draw cats? u always draw them very skrunkily and cute and i wanna take some pointers asdfghjhfds 👉👈

oh jeez ive never been asked anyting like this before an idk how to answer this but its been sitting in my inbox for like 3 days and ima feel bad if i dont answer it ANYWAY

IDk HOW TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING but like u gotta make them lanky u know like dont make them stiff??? and theyve got short legs and small feets, and and

THIS IS A TERRIBLE NO GOOD EXPLANATION BUT, when i wake up ill try and draw out an at least somewhat comprehensible guide SORRY