#ill give you a star sticker for telling me

[cammy-mcspammy]

hey noises, hsn? just so you’re aware, the requests for the straight kaz/kaz gf ships are coming from two proshippers

i think that’s why a lot of them aren’t making functional sense

they do this quite a bit with other artists and creators too

just wanted you to be aware!

and hope ur days going alright otherwise 💙

Wait which posts?? I'll delete them right away.

Do you mean the kazuichis gf person?? 😭😭 lo siento no entiendo

I had like zero clue I'm not online much at all 💀💀💀 if you can send the link to the posts with the person and I'll delete them!!

[jasperxkuromi]

Play ideas for chronically ill, disabled, or otherwise bed bound/low energy littles

Hi all! I am chronically ill. I am not comfortable sharing my specific diagnosis, but I am more than okay with talking about disability in general. Everything below is based on my own personal experiences and activities I like to do while stuck in bed. Everyone's body and experiences are different. I may list some things that just aren't an option for you, and that's okay. You are more than welcome to add on to this post with activities you do too!

🐛 Open the curtains and cloud watch! I like to look for clouds that remind me of animals or characters and day dream a story about them. If the weather is nice, consider opening your window a little bit and letting some fresh air into your room.

🐦 Bird watch! I have a bird feeder outside my window that I painted myself from a kid's kit. There are also bird feeders that have suction cups that can be stuck right on your window. You can also make your own seed ornaments. You could pick yourself up a kids book or two on learning to identify birds.

🌷 Get a window planter. You may need someone's help to set one up, but once they are in place they are fairly easy to care for. I like pansies and marigolds because they remind me of childhood, and they are low maintenance and do well in containers.

📖 Audiobooks are great for middles who want to read chapter books. If you have a library card you can borrow tons of audiobook, ebooks, and comics through hoopla and Libby for free. There are some audiobooks for younger kiddo books, but honestly I think YouTube is better for that.

🖼️ Scrapbooks and journals! Being penpals with another little is also an option, but I do recommend using basic internet safety and common sense. (I don't think you should do this if you are under 18). You could always scan/take pictures of your letter and send it digitally to your penpal instead.

🛏️ If you spend a lot of time in bed, and have the money to do so, I really recommend getting items to make your time in bed more comfortable. Extra pillows, or even a reading pillow can be helpful. Lap desks or bed tables can give you space to color or set up play scenes with small toys.

🌟 You can also decorate the area around your bed to make it more child like! Fairy lights, glow in the dark stars, bed canopies, posters, and the like.

🪑 I have a floor chair I use for times I am playing outside of my bed. Being close to the floor helps me feel small, but not having back support hurts after a short while. I have an adjustable one that I can lay flat on the floor as a sleeping mat. Very helpful for the times when I need a quick nap after playtime.

🎨 Check the seasonal and kids sections at dollar stores and Five Below. I usually find fun craft kits that can keep me occupied for a bit for really cheap.

🧶 Do your own crafts! I like the knit and crochet. Some people can do them in bed, but I find it difficult to find a comfortable way to do that. However making friendship bracelets in bed works out pretty well. They make great gifts, even for non little friends. Or you could make matching ones for you and your CG or favorite plushie!

🪀 Make your own sensory bin! You can find tons of tutorials and ideas online. Bonus is you can get most of the items you would use at the dollar store. There are tons of other DIY sensory toys you can make as well if you look around. Glitter/shaker bottles are pretty popular too.

🐇 Cuddle with your stuffed animals. Tell them stories. Play pretend. Read to them. They will appreciate all of it.

🎮 If you have an old 3DS stuffed away in a drawer somewhere, pull it back out. 3DS are fairly easy to install homebrew and there are toooons of kiddo friendly games you could get (check 3ds.hacks.guide for this, do not follow tutorials on YouTube or random websites as they very well could be outdated)

💊 Decorate your medicine organizers with stickers. If you use mobility aids you can decorate them as well! Fake flowers are great for decorating mobility aids and there are tons of ideas you can find online.

🍼 I have stomach problems that makes it hard for me to eat enough. I often drink Ensure to make sure I am getting enough calories/nutrients. I get the strawberry flavor and sometimes put it in my sippy cup and pretend it is strawberry milk 😋

😴 If you need rest, rest! You deserve to get as much sleep as your body needs. Babies and toddlers take naps all the time! Trying to just exist with chronic health issues is difficult enough. You don't need to push yourself.

[mara-and-its-the-same]

It would appear that I've had this posted to AO3 for 5 months but I just forgot to post it here. Part 2 to Smile

CW: Swearing, almost kidnapping but she changes her mind and goes with them anyway even though they tell her she can go. I dont know man, i wrote this in the summer, the heat was getting to me But i think its good so have fun

You’d been driving for longer than you cared to realize with Tangerine’s foot pressed all the way to the floor. Lemon seemed much friendlier without the mask, and when he wasn’t trying to restrain you for your kidnapping on behalf of your ill-begotten best friend. And Tangerine seemed…much more attractive under that mask.

It was strange, looking out the window, far enough from the city that the stars had finally started to return. You’d been in a very stolen car, for what was about to become a very long time, with two very strange men. Not to mention you had at least 15 million on you in jewelry alone, and the fact that your father had no limit to what he would pay to get you back. All things considered, it made for a very interesting impromptu trip into the countryside, especially since you had a strange respect for them, though it seemed undeserved.

You looked out at the stretch of road ahead of you, then at the fuel gauge. You pushed up using the front seats and the corners of your lips betrayed you when you were closer to Tangerine than you anticipated. You took a second to compose yourself, a second longer than you would have liked and one he absolutely noticed. “You can get off at that exit.”

“As you wish, love.”

You smiled on purpose this time and flicked his earring as you lowered yourself back into your seat. Lemon looked at you then nodded up. “You’re a James, maybe a Thomas, but I’m thinking James. What’you think, mate?”

“Definitely a James,” Tangerine nodded like he’s been considering it thoroughly the whole drive.

“Is this some type of code or something?”

“Nah, you know Thomas the Tank Engine?” Lemon reached into his jacket to get something.

“I’ve heard of it, yeah.”

He pulled out a book of stickers and found the first one of a smiling red train. “You’re a James.”

Tangerine made a train sound from the front, “Hoot Hoot.”

Lemon stuck it on your chest and you had to laugh at the juxtaposition. “Hmmm, Lemon, you’re an Aquarius. Tangerine, you’re a Scorpio.”

“So certain.” Tangerine scoffed in front.

“Ahhh, that’s where you’re wrong, bruv. Close, but we’re twins.”

“I’m sorry?” You looked back and forth between them.

“You got something to say about it?” Tangerine asked.

“No, not at all. Just, surprising.”

“Is it?” Lemon leaned back with his arms crossed.

“You don’t look very…twinish.”

“Semantics, luv.”

“Try not to get too caught up in it. But I’m an Edward, Tan’s a Gordon.”

“What does that mean?”

“Edwards, kind, wise. Gordon here, strongest, most important, but doesn’t listen to others.”

“Not true, I’m takin directions right now. Turn where, darling?”

“Left. So I’m a James, he’s a Gordon, you’re an Edward? And you’re twins.”

“Right-o.”

“Exactly, and care to tell us where we’re going?”

“We’ll see.”

“You don’t know where we’re fuckin going?”

“I know where, I just don’t know if it’s still open.”

“This it?” You were nearing the end of the road and had to crane your neck up to see the top of the building. The light pouring out of every window was almost blinding.

“Huh, they must’ve expanded.”

“Clearly.” Tangerine huffed then drove around to the side to park.

“Right then, let’s go.” You went to open your door before Lemon grabbed your other wrist and Tangerine looked back aghast.

“You’re going in like that?!” He looked down at your dress.

“I don’t have many options.”

“Fucking-uh,” Tangerine looked around like he’d be able to find something in the impromptu getaway car. “Lemon,” he hit his seat with the back of his hand, “give her your jacket.”

“What?”

“It’ll be like a dress. People do that.”

“‘People’ yes. Me, no.”

“You’re really fuckin doin this now.”

“Not much of a choice, mon ami. Allons-y.” You got out and had to spin to get the last of your skirts out the door before you slammed it.

“She’s fuckin French.” Tangerine raised an exhausted hand towards your closed door.

“Her doll house as a child was a mansion, bruv. Of course, she speaks French. Let’s go.”

Tangerine slapped his hands on the steering wheel as soon as Lemon got out. He pushed his hair back then followed you in.

You got a few looks once the doorman let you in, Lemon and Tangerine caught up to you sooner than expected since they jogged to catch up. More concern was raised at the blood and bruises rather than anything else, but the Twins looking even more disheveled did not help your case.

“Bonsoir, madame,” you spoke to the woman at the front desk, asking for 3 rooms just for the night.

“Je suis desolée, madame. Il y a une chambre libre. Cela vous dérangerait-il d'en partager un?”

“Euh, un moment, si-vous-plait.” You turned back to the Twins, “I asked for 3 rooms, but there’s only one available.”

“So we…”

“We can share, or we can keep looking.”

“Ask her if there’s somewhere else we can look.”

“C'est le seul hôtel de la région. Mais il y a une auberge de jeunesse à environ une demi-heure au sud.” The only other option being a hostel, a half hour back towards the city.

“Merci, nous prendrons la chambre. Euh, c'est peut-être une demande étrange, mais puis-je payer avec…” You took off your other teardrop diamond earring, the largest in the center being the size of your thumb nail. “Ça? Et Nous gardons cela secret?”

She stared down at the gleaming diamond staring back at her. “Euuhhhh, oui, absolument.”

She gave you the key and told you the room number.

“This was the only option.” You led them to the elevators and took it up to the top floor.

You pushed the key in, the thick metal kind with the wooden tag on the end, and didn’t bother looking around before you went right into the bathroom. “I’m taking a shower!”

It took you 5 minutes of struggling with the back of your dress before you went back out to get one of them to help you.

Lemon had already passed out on the couch, flat on his back with his mouth open and one ankle thrown over the armrest.

Tangerine had his back to the headboard of one of the two double beds and was trying to find an English channel on the TV.

“Tangerine?”

“Yea?”

“Could you help me with the back?”

He nodded and you turned around, standing in front of the bathroom door. Your necklace, rings, and bracelets on the counter, obnoxiously catching the warm yellow light. It seemed like he was confused by the ties, either that or he was taking longer on purpose.

“You put yourself in a dress you couldn’t get out of?”

“I didn’t do it myself, I had a whole fuckin team. It was ridiculous.”

“Done.”

“Thank you.”

“Anything else, love?”

“No, thank you.” You held the dress up to your chest when you turned to face him. “Actually, could you call the front desk and ask for extra blankets?”

“How many?”

You shrugged, “As many as you think.” He nodded and you stepped back into the bathroom and closed the door.

During your shower, you were only focused on the absolute insanity of your situation and the growing aches in every place you were struck. You couldn’t bring yourself to mind that you were in a room with two complete strangers who just tried to kidnap you a few hours earlier. You were fully aware that they could still do so and get the very same ransom from your family, or save themselves the trouble and kill you anyway. They have the 10 million dollar necklace and who knows how many thousands of dollars of other jewelry in the same room, what more would they need. You lost focus and got soap in one of your cuts. “MMMmmph!” you bit your lip to keep quiet. “Holy fuck.” It didn’t help much.

You realized as soon as you shut off the water that you had nothing to wear. After wrapping yourself in the fluffy white towel hanging on the other side of the glass door, you crossed your fingers and hoped there was a robe in the closet. Opening it, you found nothing so you tucked the towel tighter and tried the one right outside the bathroom. Right as you turned the corner, your eye was caught by Tangerine again. Laying right where he was before, but this time looking much more comfortable and much more shirtless.

Your hands reached for the big white robe but your eyes kept straying to him. He wasn’t what you were expecting, thinking most men in his line of work were all dark and mysterious, lithe and acrobatic, thin and scarred. He was no such thing.

“You alright, love?”

“I’m not your ‘love.’”

“It’s just a phrase. But still–”

“I’m fine, just getting a robe.”

“Right.”

You went back into the bathroom to try and fix your hair into something reasonable and get yourself ready for bed with your currently limited means.

“You’re wearing that?”

You pulled the covers back on your bed. “You forget that I showed up here in a full ballgown.”

“That you did.” You laid down and tried to relax. “We can get you something tomorrow, if you want.”

“Like to wear?”

“Yea, so we can get out of here.”

“Where are we going?”

“Wherever you like.”

“No, it’s your turn.”

“Italy then. Fake names, sell off all your shit,” he waved a hand in the direction of the bathroom. “Buy a farm or something.”

“A tiny little island.”

“Exactly. And you probably speak Italian.”

“Not fluently, but I could learn.”

“Perfect. We’ll get you something to wear, head there right after.”

“If,” he turned to you again. “You pinky promise not to kill me.”

“That’s what you’re counting on? A pinky promise?”

“I find them sacred.”

“And if I break it?”

“I’ll kill you.”

“But you’d be dead if I killed you.”

“Only if I say so.”

He rolled his eyes and stuck out his hand to you. You linked your pinky with his and shook it.

“I promise not to kill you if you don’t kill me.”

“I promise. You sure you’re comfortable in that?”

“I’ll be fine, it’s soft enough. You’re fine sleeping in slacks?”

“Don’t worry about me, love. Good night.”

“Good night.”

***The next morning***

You woke up to an empty room, windows open letting the air in and fluttering the curtains.

There was a striped cotton wrap dress laying on the end of your bed. Tags and hanger still on, with another note on top of it.

We left the necklace and the dress, but we needed the bracelet for cab fare. Find us in Italy, you know where we’ll be.

From the shadow on the other side, it looked like there was something else written on the back.

Tangerine thought you’d guess, but we have a friend in Linosa, I’m sure you’ll find us there. Easy.

(pssssttt, please comment and reblog so I don't keep writing just for no one to tell me what they like about it. I'm also open to all sorts of feed back so if your fingers are itching to say something just go for it babes)

[axoqiii]

ok i might go on a rant here, but i love love LOVE your art omg.

i absolutely adore the way you color and shade. your drawings honestly feel like a drawing in a sketchbook where ur like "hm maybe i should add markers/colored pencil to this" AND THEN THE DRAWING TURNS OUT LOOKING MAJESTIC. the way you draw is so round, which 1) makes your drawings look SO CUTE and 2) makes it feel like your drawings would squeak like those dog toys (which is good!! your art evokes positive emotions!!!!)

not to mention your amazing taste in fandoms??? prsk AND mcyt (specifically hermitcraft, life smp, and qsmp) AND ducktales???? AND AMPHIBIA????? ok i might have been stalking ur account but it's honestly hard not to WHEN YOUR ART IS SO COOL

both your doodles and your polished drawings look STUNNING and it's like woah how did you do that??? /pos your doodles give that cozy colored pencil vibe that i kinda mentioned earlier. and again, THE WAY THAT YOU COLOR AURAFEUKSHGJK. your art makes me want to violently explode (in a good way). your doodles are like if marshmallows were turned into drawings and then mixed with an awful amount of love and those round stars that u would doodle on the free space of homework

and then your polished drawings are also so amazing. they're so vibrant, and they're like when you go to daiso or some stationery store and you find this pen that you fall in love with and do all of your drawings with (i'm using a LOT of similes to describe your art but i promise it's in the best way possible). and i love love how you do backgrounds, whether they're simple or not. like this akito drawing was just so cute and it felt like a pack of stickers exploded onto your drawing (again, similes but they're meant in the best way possible). and can i just say that i LOVE the use of screentones in that drawing and also the way that you drew akito's name in the corner. it just scratches my brain in such a good way. also that grian dtiys oh my god???? the background. the shading. the coloring. the line art. THE SHADING. i love it so so so much

i only brought up two of your drawings specifically, but each of your drawings that i've seen have made me feel all warm inside until I MELT AND EXPLODE EVERYWHERE /pos i absolutely adore your art style and all of your art and i'm really sorry if this whole thing was overwhelming but i just have so many words for your art, and i mean each and every word wholeheartedly. keep up the great work because you're doing FABULOUS

btw your pinned post said that drawing requests are open, so if you can/want to, can you draw tsukasa from prsk? thank you :)

this is so???? sncbdjfhebfb????? /pos this is making me SO happy thank you so much!!! genuinely!!!!! dont even worry about going on a rant every single word of this made me tear up a bit because of how nice it is :((((

thank u for taking ur time to pick apart my art and for all ur kind words abt it! i say this so much but it means the world to me when someone tells me they appreciate what i create 🥹 esp noticing all the details makes me feel very happy that someone notices all the things i like to add to my art! it really inspires me to keep drawing more :D

sorry i migjt be repeating things pahah im overwhelmed in the best way possible!!!! thank u!!! sm!!! shakes u back and forth!!! im gonna be thinking abt this and smiling for the next month omgjfjg

in response to the tsukasa drawing request, ofc ill draw him for ya :D since this post is getting a little long ill post it right after this ask and link it here! once again, thank you so much for the kind message <3 :]

(here it is!!)

[scungledfiles]

hi mods ash and row! just wanted to say i rlly like your guys' blog :D it has a really comforting vibe 💖

if you guys still have requests open, could you please make a lil moodboard of star things? objects that have sparkles or stars on them - they can be anything really! if they aren't (the requests), that is okay :) - i hope you both have a wonderful day!

(and if they are open i still hope u both have a wonderful day ☀️)

thank u! i dont really do moodboards perse, but i assume youre refering to the res requests on our pinned? i can do those! though i have to say stars are a bit of a vauge prompt that can go into a number of different aesthetics, i can still give you some materials i have from those different aesthetics tho! hope like, 1 of these is useful lol :3 (also u 2!)

stuff after readmore so i dont flood ppls dashes

TRANSPARENTS

misc (lmk if you want images of the individual stars and whatnot) (the pens are more galaxy then star themed, but i figure you might still like them)

i believe i already posted these? but i made some banners with these little star stickers a while back, i can offer the individual star sticker transparents as well if youd like

PIXELS

theres a firstfear set of pixels i think youd like :3 you can find the original post (pleasepleaselplease save the credit if you use these!) here (1/2) and an archived version here (1/2) as well as a link to her DA here

heres one of them, only one lest i become the thousanth blog to just regurgitate firstfears sozai w/o credit. you can find the rest at the link :3

kingluludeer also has a large collection of star themed pixels! also theyre just a stunning artist that is SOSOSO worth checking out regardless, (link to them here!) i, again wont just regurgitate all of their assets here, i think its better if you go to their page, but i will show you a couple of my favorites :3

TILES

i have also a couple of tiles, these i sadly have no credit for, but if anybody recognizes them PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEEE tell me!

however if youre looking for another lovely sozai maker with tons and tons of cute BG tiles look no farther then whimsical! id seriously reccomend looking at their site even if you dont need anything its absolutely gorgeous and a huge inspo for me, ill show u a few here :3

and last something i made! i made these little colored stars for a server of mine, (they come in alot of colors) in both these high res versions as well as pixel ones! im fine with people using them so long as my credit stays attached and you dont just blindly redistribute them

theres more then these 2, but ill let you download it from google drive so i dont have to attach like 7 million images lol

if youd like to give me a little bit more of a specific aesthetic im sure i could help point you to some places with some web sozai for that specific stuff :3 sense the blog is kinda a mishmash of all the different aesthetics me and ash like lol (i am TRYING my BEST to make the BLOG THEME more COHERENT but it TAKES A WHILE!!!)

[nx08h63bitchyobservationnerd]

pormhub sleep

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[ultimateloserboy]

what ??? the fuck??? are you literally talking about?????? how the fuck am i acephohic now im literally demi???? WHERE DID I BRING UP CLOTHING????

dude youre reaching soooo hard its insane. most of what youre saying i literally never said. at all. i never brought up clothes, i went out of my way to say nobody was a zoo or something and yet youre still saying i compared it even tho i literally WENT OUT OF MY WAY TO CLARIFY I DIDNT MEAN THAT !! BECAUSE I DISAGREE AND THINK THATS CRAZY TO SAY!!!

i genuinely dont understand what youre talking about dude. im not joking i actually do not know how you got any of this. my post wasnt written the best but a lot of the stuff youre saying i never said or even implied?

what youre accusing me of saying is making me genuinely sick to my stomach. “you wouldnt be saying this if he talked” dude thats vile???? what the fuck?? again, why are you trying to make me ableist??

did you take this all as a personal attack? you know this wasnt about you right? at all? i dont even know you?? “i was like him once” ok?? but youre not though, so me talking about him doesnt mean im talking about you!

i tried to hear you out because, again, if you read my replies youd see i was calming down and talking to people and having a discussion— but since you dont want to do that ill leave this off here!

that post was never meant to be about the fandom individually or people with crushes or whatever the fuck— it was about sellout game devs and actual weirdos intruding on every space. it was never meant to be a personal attack on random people, but now it is so!

this might sound very mean, and in your own words, “you can block me i dont care” but youre an online titty baby who wants to make everything about yourself!! you want to call me a vile, ableist, acephobic monster over fucking BATIM?? Go fuck yourself.

Go tell your mommy you won the online fight over the kids mascot horror game! im sure she’ll give you a star sticker and hang your accusations of ableism on the fridge! you must be real fucking fun to talk to!!!! i hope nobody gets upset about something around you, because lord knows little jimmys gonna take it personally!! fucking king of debate club over here folks!!

leave me the fuck alone now, please! genuinely! im genuinely sorry for being so harsh in my og post, but that doesnt excuse anything you fucking said about or to me!!

i really hate talking to any individual person like this but god, man! fuck you!! i was just upset and now im suddenly all this fucked up shit!!!

ok you know what im gonna say it with my full chest. literally nobody talks about bendy (the character) like who he actually is and ive been tired of it since the old game ended. i think hes genuinely one of the most incorrectly fanonized characters like ever at this point. and i genuinely believe it changed the actual canon and it bothers me a lot.

as for the physical version of him/ the ink demon— in the original batim game there was literally a whole plot point about bendy being non-human and how he came out of the machine physically and mentally sloppy compared to the other creations. hes not a fully fledged-out person and that’s LITERALLY an entire section of the original game. he has no human soul or mind, hes sentient but about as much as a gorilla. he attacks like a zombie or an animal with instinct and not like an angry human being. he cant speak because his mouth is fake and he cant walk properly because his limbs are liquid sludge— hes literally an abomination— a mockery of actual human life. its crazy to even call him the “villain” of the story because he doesnt have the thinking ability to genuinely be malicious. its like calling zombies the villains of zombie movies, they cant be because they dont have the brain function to be.

a lot of people ignored the obvious fact that he isnt human-like so they could sexualize him, which isnt as bad as sexualizing an actual animal— im not claiming that— but what bothers me is how the creators made him MORE HUMAN to lean towards these people and ill never think otherwise. yall can argue with me or call me chronically online, but bendy WASNT able to speak or was human-like at all until the dark revival, which was so obviously fan service its not even funny.

im not claiming that people who sexualize bendy are zoos or something— thats too far. what im claiming tho is that this genuinely interesting character was given consciousness and the ability to speak after previously not ever having those things JUST so booktok ass teenagers could swoon over him like they do venom, taking away the interest of his original character. he wasnt fully sentient until it made money for the creators and then suddenly hes speaking poetry in a deep sexy man voice with a fucking 8 pack. how does that not bother anyone? im not even trying to say its morally weird— im just saying its bad writing in general!!! like why do yall let these games ruin characters for fan service and not even give a fuck, and then have the balls to ask why newer ones are so poorly written?? no fucking shot EVERY one of yall was ok with them retconning his entire existence like HES THE MAIN CHARACTER???? DO YALL REALLY WANNA SEXUALIZE EVERYTHING //THAT// BAD TO THE POINT ITS OK TO REWRITE THE ENTIRE MAIN CHARACTER AS LONG AS IT MEANS YOU CAN FINALLY SEXUALIZE HIM CANONICALLY??????

and before people say anything— no i dont think its wrong for bendy to develop a voice or to become more human over time— BUT COME ON DUDE ARE YALL DENSE?? IVE SEEN LESS FAN-SERVICE STARING AT MY GOD DAMN AIR CONDITIONER!!!! they didnt “develop” bendy more— they retconned him to please freaks online!!! surely ONE of yall had to have noticed like… when tdr dropped the sexualization was so bad i genuinely didnt have fun with the series anymore. and I CANT because its justified now! the creators retconned him to be more sexyman so now you cant even argue against it!! literally why cant we have ONE thing online without people wanting to pound every single fucking character??

im sorry if this sounds mean but ive been upset about this for YEARS!! bendy was my favorite character as a kid and NOBODY gives him justice NOT EVEN HIS OWN CREATORS. it would be one thing if there was just a small portion that treated him like this but now its literally everyone and the games lean into it and i just want to explode and die at this point fr.

it genuinely makes me a little ill knowing he was once just a confused, soulless being fighting and killing out of the confusion, rage and fear that his cruel existence caused him to feel, but now hes just a deep voiced venom-ripoff villain whose just a big meanie and hunts you for sport or some stupid shit.

[thebibliosphere]

ADHD reward system? Please tell me your secret!

My therapist has been helping me find a reward system that works for me, and as it turns out, gold star stickers are really helpful for making me feel like a tangible goal was met, and helps give me that sweet, sweet dopamine release that comes with completing a task, something which us ADHD’ers really struggle to achieve and are already coming at from a disadvantage with our brains regularly not producing enough “happy” hormones as it is.

It was supposed to be “a sticker for every time you finish a chapter”, but after some revision, my therapist said that was too tall of a goal, and that I should pick something smaller. So instead I now get a star every time I finish a 500-word milestone, placing the sticker in my writing calendar/journal thing that I use to keep track of my writing, and ironically, I have started to produce more work than when I was stiving for one chapter a day.

To give you an idea of how staggeringly effective this has been for me, I’ve written over 30k of original fiction in the last week. (75k total if you include my social media and blog stuff, which I currently do not but likely should.)

So this is what it looked like when I was attempting to do a chapter of edits and revisions a day during the month of December 2019 (note: I was supposed to start this in Nov, so you can see how well that worked out for me lol):

ID: A calendar showing days of the month with a shiny star sticker showing a completed task.

And this is what my writing journal looks like now that I’m doing a star for every 500 words:

ID: an image of a handwritten journal with the dates mapped out, followed by a shiny star sticker for every completed 500-word milestone. There are 65 stars in total for the month of January 2020. It’s also tinged by a green light cause I’m doing a chronic pain experiment, so far with positive results!

So as of today, January 8th, with ever star = 500 words, then 65*500 = 32500 words totalled in 7 days. This does not include, like I said, my social media output where I am far more productive, this is just my fiction and some editing work for friends.

(Which side note: this is not to flex, or to say that others should be able to achieve this level of output. I am a professional writer, this is my main job and only source of income. And also, I was forged in the fires of understaffed editing hell where we would be expected to churn out 100k+ a week in edits and revisions to keep on track. I have the time and a learned skillset I have spent years amassing to be able to do this and am working towards a rigid deadline. I simply have not been healthy enough in a long time to manage it, and am finally working my way back up to speed after years of illness. Don’t look at this and think, “I’m not achieving enough”, every victory no matter how small is worth celebrating. And I say that with the utmost sincerity, as someone who spent most of the last 2-3 years unable to get out of bed.)

I’ve also started using it to help keep track of bills and chores around the home. So every time something gets done/done on time, whoever completed the task gets a star on the calendar. This includes Oppy the Not-A-Roomba, who does a very good job of taking care of the house on a daily basis:

ID: an image of a chore calendar denoting various tasks that have been marked off with a holographic silver star sticker, including our robot vacuum who does an excellent job and deserves all the stars. (Our names got blurred out cause ETD doesn’t want his real name out there in the world, so that’s what is blurry.)

This system is useful for several reasons, the primary one being a sense of achievement and continued motivation, and the second, to allow you to review each month to see where you are doing well, and where you might otherwise be struggling.

For example, if I have a bad day for writing or decide to take a day off, I write that down in the calendar rather than leaving it blank, so that I have a record of what went wrong (or right, if I am electing to self care that day and take a day off) and how my overall progress is doing.

In terms of house stuff, this has been especially useful for ETD and myself, as it shows us where we are managing to do a good job with the house, and where our executive dysnfunction issues really trip us up and where we need to make improvements. And I don’t just mean in an “I should try harder way”, I mean you have to actively sit down and be like “hey! What is preventing me from completing this thing” and trying to figure out effective ways to either get around it or resolve a larger issue at hand.

So for us, the biggest thing we tend to miss is doing dishes after dinner, meaning we get left with a pile-up of dishes to deal with first thing in the morning, and my ADHD can’t handle that. It won’t let me eat until I’ve cleared all the mess, but I usually don’t have the energy to clean up if I haven’t eaten, so it’s this awful cycle of ineptitude. We’re doing better with the star reward system, cause it’s showing us our progress loud and clear on the fridge door, but we are both usually so fatigued and exhausted by the end of dinner that doing dishes is just one thing too many for our mutual disorders. So, the solution for this would, of course, be a dishwasher, cause if we had one of those, we could load stuff in, turn it on, and let those dishes get done while we go to bed then put them away in the morning. We can’t afford to do that right now, and we have other appliances we need to buy/replace before we can do that (still don’t have a tumble dryer, or a washer I can access, rip) but it does give us a tangible goal to work toward, and also, the motivation to keep on top of things because it goes from “an endless task with no end in sight” to “there’s a solution for this, we can manage a while longer.”

Now you could be saying, but Joy, I’m an adult! Surely I shouldn’t expect rewards for completing every day tasks that I should be able to do?!

To which I say, neurotypical people get rewards all the time and get an unconscious dose of dopamine/serotonin from their brains every time they complete a task. They’re playing the game of life on easy mode, the gold star is your achievement for completing it daily on Nintendo 99 hard mode. IF THE STICKER WORKS, TAKE THE STICKER

YOU’VE EARNED IT.

[infinitegalahad]

GENERATION KILL: COMFORTING THERE PARTNER

"This is just me formally submitting a request for that gk boys offering their own forms of comfort fic/ headcanon/ thoughts wtevr. Lol just as a reminder. 😀"@theboardwalkbody

Gif Credit: @ymagor

A/N: You're wish is my command, homes❣️ Here's a little change of pace! @theboardwalkbody inspired this post (and asked it!), so thanks for the Inspo friend! 🤩 I'm doing this for BoB and TP because I'm going through a slight writer's block and instead of thinking about long descriptions, I just wanna so head canons that get a little out of hand. I hope this isn't too ooc😔 Reader has *inserted mental illness* btw, it's up for interpretation! ALSO GN! READER! Enjoy!

Taglist: @theboardwalkbody @contrabandhothead

Masterlist

NATE FICK-

Nate's a calculated person. He can see the patterns in people, things, etc. Like how his father's eyebrows wrinkle when he's excited, or when his mother likes to prep a meal from vegetables to the main course. So when you're happy, sad, whatever-he knows it, and you don't even have to tell him.

He'll come home and see you. He knows that you've heard him calling you're name, but you don't move. He looks all over the house and finds you inside of your tub, just sitting there with no response. The water is running, and your clothes and hair are soaked.

So in an attempt to not disrupt your peace, Nate climbs in and sits next to you. You look over and he's stares at you. Just as your about to speak, he beats you to it.

"I'll get you a towel and some clothes."

And then, he just leaves. You hear the door quietly shut, and you blink for a few seconds. What the hell just happened? It snapped you out of your depressive trance. Now instead of feeling sad-you just were confused.

So you hear the door lightly open again and then close. After a few more minutes of soaking, you get out and see a towel and a set of clothes that are most certainly not yours. It's Nate's Dartmouth Lacrosse sweater and a pair of underwear-he knows you too well.

So you exit the bathroom and you see Nate, putting two cups down of you're favorite tea

And he's got that face. You know the face were he's like ☹️

"Hey, c'mere."

The two of you climb into bed with eachtoher. He throws one of those ugg blankets over you. You rest his head in his chest and he pats your head. There's a silence, until Nate says, "Do you wanna walk about it."

Normally, you'd say no and he'd read you a book you're reading or hold you as you cry, but this time, it's different.

"Yeah, I do. You won't judge, right?"

Nate tilts you chin up, and he's got a tired smile on his face.

"Why would I?"

BRAD COLBERT-

Brad may appear horrible with emotions and reading the room...in which he isn’t

Okay, scratch that. He tries to understand them, it’s just hard for him to give advice and use words to comfort you. He feels like he’s walking on glass, But sometimes, you just need him psychically more then anything.

When you storm out of a room when Chaffin makes a comment on your weight, Brad takes a few minutes to think what he should do.

Normally, he’d just leave you be, but he’s gotta do something. Getting up, he follows you down the hallway. You’re not far, and he’s calling you’re name.

You stop in the hallway, wiping the tears coming down toye face. Brad turns you around with his hands on your shoulder. He’s got a blank face on as he looks at you, seeing your red face and the tears.

While you sob and stutter, he fixes the collar of your shirt, tucks your hair behind your ear, which is normal. He likes to neaten you up to make you feel better.

But he starts to use his thumb, wiping the tears coming down your face. You shocked as he cups your face, making you look into those icy cold eyes. He looks like the Iceman, cold and emotionless, but what he says very Brad.

“You’re beautiful.”

Then he pulls you into a tight grasp. He’s a whole foot taller then you, and you like the way he snakes his hands around his waist and slightly lifts off you your feet. His sheer presence is intimating, but for you; comforting. 

RAY PERSON-

THIS MAN. although a hick with a big mouth, he does know when to shut up and can read you’re emotions like the back of his hand.

He can just see the sadness swelling in your eyes and the way you pick at the foot at your plate and avoid all of needs for cuddles in bed. Heck, it’s making Ray sad.

So he does what he does best-not shutting up, well-about things he likes about you.

“Man! Look at my hot girlfriend/wife! There reading books by the liberal media, total smartie here! Oh! And they have a degree from-“

Ray will also beg for to your attention and follows you around like a puppy. Like you’ll be sitting on the couch and he’ll come rest his head on your lap. You ignore him, but he starts to twist and quote random movies so you finally give in.

Is Ray annoying? Yes. But did he make you smile? Also yes.

Also Ray is a cook, and knows all of your favorite meals. Of course, he sets the table, lights a few Mantown candles (yes there real google them), and comes to serve your meal with two plates.

“The most beautiful man/woman I have ever seen, the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the Avril to my Bizzy D-you’re hot pockets.”

It makes you laugh, which makes Ray happy. He feeds off of that attention. You sit in Ray’s lap, eating hot pockets, and watching The Best Damn Tour. You lean on Ray’s shoulder, and he leans right back.

POKE ESPERA-

Alexa play Whatta Man’ by Salt-N-Peppa BECAUSE! WHAT! A! MAN!

Poke is one tough mofo. He embodies the meme of “Good morning to my beautiful wife/husband and child everybody else get fucked”.

But like every baddie; baddie’s gotta have soft spots for there bitches. He has two; you and his daughter. And oh god he’s love the two of more then anything in the world.

Poke knows you and his daughter well enough. His daughter first notices that your not as enthusiastic and bubbly, and then she tells Poke. But Poke already knows because he’s observant and very in touch with his emotions.

So when he’s a work; he thinks and does a lot of self reflection. He wonders why you’re upset. Did he cause it? What can he do to make it better? He asks all the guys for advice, and even his own daughter.

An idea strikes! Poke’s got a lot of anger, so his therapist told him to express his emotions by journalling. But Poke learns that it helps him get everything out of system, so he’s a secret writer. Heck, he even likes poetry; and would kill anyone if they’d find out.

While off at work, small letters start to appear across you’re house. Some are long, some are short, but there sweet and make you’re day.

“I held the stars in my arms wen I held you”

“I can’t wait to kiss you.”

“Your eyes stole all of my words away”

And the covers of the notes are done by Poke’s daughter, covered in glitter and Lisa Frank stickers.

You confront Poke about this “mysterious pen pal” and Poke is like “I mean, your lips do sound tempting”

You know it’s Poke, and he knows it, but there’s something about the mystery that is very romantic.

WALT HASSER-

Here comes our favourie country pumpkin

Now let me say. This man LOVES you more then anything the world

Doesn’t wanna show you off (but he does)

So when you’re the slightest bit sad, Walt is even sadder then you are

Walt is someone that lives to receive attention, and also he’s someone that likes to give it. Especially to the love of his life!

Walt gives you things you actually need, and nothing that is materialistic. Growing up, his parents had a healthy relationship, and the apple clearly doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Waits on you hand and foot. A back massage? Done. A fuzzy blanket? Right on it! A specific burger from a joint that is thirty minutes away at three in the morning? Walt’s driving like a manic just for you. You have the man’s undivided attention.

“Walt?”

He stops whatever he’s doing and runs over, getting on his knees, “Yeah, what’s up baby?”

“Can you sing the song? Y’know, our song?”

Walt nods his head, now an eager puppy, and gets his gutair to play the song he wrote especially for you. And this is making me realize how painfully single I am oh my

RUDY REYES-

Rudy has an iv of respect woman/men juice. He always understands the assignment-and desires extra credit.

So whenever you’re down in the dumps, Rudy will drop everything and drag you into the car to go walk on his favorite trail. It’s ten miles long, but Rudy is a fitness freak.

First, you hate doing it. But the more you talk these long walks, the more you begin to enjoy it.

Sometimes there silence. Rudy won’t speak force you to talk. Talking is stressful, and Rudy will wait until you’re ready. The two of you holds hands, and Rudy has such a calming presence. It’s really hard to get angry at him.

You finally speak and tell Rudy you’re problems, and he listens and doesn’t interrupt. He’s got a hand on you’re lower back, or on your thigh. He’s basically you’re emotional support teddy bear and will always be a lending ear, or a total cuddle monster.

Rudy has the best advice as well. It’s always some yoga shit, but damn, those breathing  exercises do actually help.

EVAN “Q-TIP” STAFFORD-

Oh Q-Tip. My feral goblin son😭

I love him, but sometimes-things can fly over his head.

But when you start to ignore him and hide away from him, he begins to notice. And he HATES IT.

Like Christianson will ask him if he’s okay and he’ll literally quote a 2pac song and be like,

“I would drop all my girls for you, Walk barefoot 'round the world for you, Fly around like the birds for you, Thats why I wrote these words for you..”

Lilley is like “Brah we gotta help a homie out”

So the three stooges create Lovegate. The mission? to make Q-Tip’s partner happier.

Q-Tip is very artistically inclined. So with Christenson’s editing skills and Lilley’s camera, Q-Tip writes you a song and does a whole music video.

The man rents out a movie theatre venue just to show you. Of course, you’re blown away. It’s horrible and you can taste the autotone, BUT IT’S THE EFFORT THAT COUNTS. and q-tip has that smile on. you know what i’m talking about!

Doc Bryan walks in on the two of you making out and is pissed since all he wanted to do was see the re-screening of Bridemaids but NO, Q-Tip just had to rent out a theatre to show his partner a music video about them and then make out.

He see’s Lilley, who’s recording and asks to interview what Doc’s opinion on the music video, and this is what he’s says.

“I think my ears bled, but thank fuck those two aren’t acting like emo’s.”

DOC BRYAN-

The gif has a purpose. Trust me. SPEAKING OF THE MAN OF THE HOUR

Bryan, like Poke, is a very observant guy. He’s an angry motherfucker, and even a little insensitive, but ever since dating you; he’s tried to change.

He hates the world. People are shitty, and it makes him feel shitty that you’re sad because when you feel shitty, he’s in a shitter mood then he’s usually in

Knowing that his words might sound a little harsh, Byran knows how to distract you. Without words. After all, he didn’t work out for nothing.

Long hugs are you’re thing. The two of you will run into eachother, find a private place, and he’ll just wrap his arms around you. His big arms are protective, and he’s warm, and you just sink into him.

Sometimes, you’ll fall asleep. Byran sometimes will fall asleep with you, other times he’ll gently lay you down and put a blanket with a gentle forehead kiss.

When you cry in his arms, he’ll wipe the tears away. He can feel them against his arm, and he doesn’t know what to do. Crying girls/guys are not his speciality.

But when you squeeze his arm back, to let you know what your there and that you love him, Byran will freeze. He has no idea what to next with words. He’ll put his hand over yours, and turns out; it works well.

After this is all over, he’ll check up on you and ask you simply if you’re okay. You respond with a smile. Byran isn’t one for smiles, but for you, he shows a subtle smile back. Just to let you know.

[blueberrypossum]

Oh! Sorry! I just thought you did write imagines...but I will tell you my idea...I was wondering how the mud dogs would feel having a kindhearted girl in the group that is a nurse and and each of them (separately) have a crush on her? (can this be a headcannon?) but it’s ok if you don’t do it. I also like your blog and your drawings of ocs! They’re very cute!

Rottmnt Mud Dogz! Headcanons!

If you were the kindhearted nurse of the team and if the Mud Dogz started to develop feelings for you!

( I decided to do this gender-neutral so everyone can get their love from the Mud Dogz! Hope that’s okay!)

Also, anyone can make requests or asks! The reason I don’t really have it placed in my blog is because there are some requests where I just stare and I’m like: I don’t have enough creativity to come up with anything oh heck I don’t want to let someone down. So, don’t be afraid to send anything!

Hope you guys enjoy it!

Loathsome Leonard 

-He didn’t pay no mind to you at first, his group was okay with you joining in seeing that they were going to hurt on most heists so he respects you.

-It takes a long and hard time to get close to Leonard, he’s the leader after all, and he doesn’t want to continue adding people to his group and then see them either leave, die, or backstab them. 

-Of course, he isn’t rude to you, he just doesn’t talk much about plans and heists when you’re around at first and there is barely any small talk between the two of you in the beginning. 

-Until one night he goes off on his own without the other guys knowing and stumbles back terribly wounded and can’t make it back to their apartment, but your place is closer. 

-You were asleep when you heard the strangled yet urgent knock on your door and you quickened your pace when it started to repeat in more rapid strings. 

-You can’t help but gasp at the sight of Leonard, beaten and bloody as if he had just starred in a horror movie and you rush him in, setting him in the chair in your kitchen before gathering your medical supplies you had in your home. 

- In silence you help him take off his shirt and put yourself to work, cleaning and dressing his cuts and gashes, all while handing him water to drink and a towel to play with when the pain gets unbearable. 

“Where are Danny and Mickey? Are they wounded as well?”

“No, it’s only me.”

“Did you...did you go out on your own Leonard?”

“...”

-Your once nice outlook is now casted with anger as you stand and throw the damp cloth you had used to clean his shoulder wound into the trash with such force that it almost startled him.

Almost. 

“You know, for someone who works so hard to make sure his teammates don’t do stupid stunts, you suck at taking your own advice.”

-That causes a surge to burst through him; he had never heard you speak like that before, never spoken your mind with such raw rage. And when he goes to fire something back, your hand is under his chin and shushing him, taking a new wet rag and cleaning a cut that sliced down his cheek. 

-”Next time, just tell them, and me. Trust has to go both ways, and since I trust you -” You tilt his head until he is looking up at you, the first prickle of tension bubbling his skin. 

“You should trust me.”

-And oh he’s hooked now and nothing can smother it. 

-He’s sudden embarrassed and possibly even scared to be around you alone, afraid that his words will slip up or he'll do something stupid in front of you. 

-You’re just so smart and kind, but that more dominant and stronger side of you has caused his heart to beat faster when you enter the room and he despises it. He can’t let his emotions get caught up in the missions and...you deserved better, someone who just wasn’t a lowlife thief. 

-But, he’s warmer around you,  and will actually create a conversation with you about yourself and how you are doing instead of just talking about the next heist. 

Dastardly Danny

-For once, the rat yokai doesn’t have to play doctor in the group once you join the band of thieves. It’s a great change of pace because for one he never went to medical school and only learned to clean wounds just by experience. 

-He would be super intrigued by your understanding of the yokai and/or human body and how to treat and dress each different type of wound. He would probably ask to be placed under your wing in case you were injured or couldn’t make it in time (also to spend time with you). 

-He’s a huge talker with you and would possibly be the one in the group who would fully understand the scientific words you spit out sometimes. 

-Danny knows and understands his feelings pretty well, and once he realizes he has developed an infatuation with you, he falls head first into it. 

-He’ll go to you and make the cheesiest and gooiest jokes that play in with you and your job profession and boy does it make Leonard and Mickey gag.

“I don’t think you can diagnose me because there’s no treatment for being madly in love, dollface.”

“Danny, sit still, you keep reopening the cut!”

-Instead of getting you flowers and chocolates, he understands the expense of medical supplies and you come by to find new needles, clean cloths, and antibiotics all wrapped up and presented nicely with your name on it. 

-After hours of sewing cuts and bending arms back into their sockets, Danny would still crawl over to the kitchen and make you your favorite drink, even if he broke both his legs. 

-Of course, he loves to make you a flustered and stuttering mess, especially during dire moments such as him with a bullet wound and you’re desperately trying to seal the blistering hole. He’ll look right at you and horsley state, “Bleeding out like this doesn’t seem too bad if you keep touching me like dat’.”

-Would def. Give you the nickname doc, nothing will change that. 

Malicious Mickey

-Honestly, you can impress this sweet guy with anything, from knowing what ointment to apply on certain cuts and then easily telling him facts about his internal organs, you make the guy have that astounded look of a child. 

-He probably wouldn’t understand a single word if you explained to him how the body works or why certain medicines only work for certain illnesses and infections, but he will certainly show his wonderment in the information. 

-He would probably start falling for you since you are kind, you place care in his wounds. Not saying Danny didn’t, but you placed colorful stickers on his cuts and then started to bring pieces of candy only for him (for a second, he believed you only saw him as a brother and it worried him).

-Mickey would be the only one in the group to remember the most random facts you have told that shocks everyone, even you. It shows that he listens, just doesn’t understand.

-He would try to make jokes like Danny does when he’s wounded but he’s just so baffled at how fast and calm you work on him that he will just state how pretty you are or how your nose will ruffle up when you’re concentrating on something. 

-Will probably come and visit you at your workplace and you will have to hide him because he’s a literal criminal like jeez Mickey someone can recognize you. 

-When hanging out, he’ll ask certain questions about his specific internal workings and then about Leonard and Danny, and then what were your favorite things to learn from medical school. It feels great for someone to be interested in what you know, and even though you will go into a huge rank about certain things and he just stares at you, you know that he cares. 

-The poor sweet boy would die inside once you two started to date because you got to kiss his bruises and smaller cuts before continuing on to the bigger wounds and he would play with your hair and curl around you after a hard day at work. 

[berena-cpr]

Unfinished Masterpieces - Fic Rec List

Remember the WIP on ao3 you can’t let go? The one that resonated with you? The one that you’d give anything to know how it ends?

While the Berena Creative Project Resuscitation event is all about starting to work again on projects sitting in our draft folders, life can get in the way of finishing a project for a hundred reasons.

These works, posted, but still a few chapters short of ending, are loved though and with this list we’d like to share the love for the unfinished masterpieces one can find in the Berena tag on ao3.

Given the high response we had when we asked to tell us about your favourite WIPs, you’ll find the list under the cut:

Anything Else to Declare? - LittleMissO

“I've personally had sleeping issues since I read LittleMissO's Anything Else to Declare because yeah, I'm still there, breath held and heart pounding like crazy after the most delicious slow burn, and pining, and that outrageously flirtatious conversation over a whiskey.”

that line between your heart and mine - ktlsyrtis

“it is just plain hot but also I love the idea of them writing letters to each other and I also love the exploration of what their relationship might be like with Bernie still being in the RAMC.”

you disappear like your cigarette smoke (now the taste of your kiss is all that remains) - bonnissance

“A wonderful, emotional angst filled fic, looking at how Bernie’s life might still have progressed after Serena left. I loved how it showed her testing her own boundaries to see if it was possible to find another relationship with someone else and when she found that wasn’t something she could do, she accepted it and found other ways to be happy without Serena. I reread it fairly often because although unfinished it doesn’t ever seem incomplete. But the last word “Serena” always leaves me full of a hope that I would dearly love to have fulfilled.”

Secrets in the Dark - Wonko

“I’d love to see this continued!”

For a Good Time Call - Regency

“Young Serena using that pure sex voice of hers to make a little extra as a phone sex operative, and young nervous Bernie taking the first tentative steps in exploring her sexuality. Who better than Serena to help her figure things out? The premise of the fic is ingenious, the writing amazing, the dialogue just outstanding. Hot, sexy, soft and full of compassion and feels. I would sell a kidney to read the next chapter to this – Bernie and Serena meeting years later and recognising each other’s voices.”

you're the only one I never looked for - gutsandglitter

“Never expected I'd enjoy a Baby Boom AU, but I love this fic. Serena hanging out in the country feeling extremely overwhelmed and constantly running into this weird tall, awkward woman named Bernie is a mood. I will forever hold out hope for an update so that I can someday read about them having lots of sex (after an appropriate amount of angst, miscommunication, and unexpected grocery store encounters, of course).”

Things Kayryn doesn't write - Kayryn

“So they’re not exactly unfinished, because they are complete, beautifully crafted, amazingly inventive, head canons, but they’re not completed fic’s so I’m counting them. I actually think that’s one of the lovely things about them, there’s a full story in there but enough space in them to bring your own imagination to the details. The fact that every head canon is spot on and you can completely image it happening is the icing on the cake, and the perfect characterisation is the cherry on top. Canon could have taken lessons from from Kayryn”

I Want to be Your Fantasy (Maybe You Could Be Mine) - Regency

“I just love the concept and the first chapter just pulled me in and I so very much want to know what happens next.”

Notting Hill - Bat_and_Breakfast

“All the “Rom Com idiots in love but they don’t know it miscommunication capers” re-envisaged for Berena you say? Sign me up! I love the way the plot of Notting Hill is absolutely recognisable, but never at the expense of Bernie and Serena’s characters. Everything they do, their responses, the dialogue, is so them. And the cleverly cast Holby regulars as supporting stars - genius. It’s an absolute triumph of transformative work. It’s wonderfully and engagingly written. If you’ve ever got sucked into watching “just a bit” of rom com and found you’ve just lost a couple of hours of your life - this fic does the same thing.”

Follow Me There - troiing

“Full disclosure: I’ve never watched Sanctuary and I know nothing about the characters. But this crossover fic is so good, that it doesn’t even matter.”

hold me closer (tiny dancer) - serenacampbell

“I don’t know why I’m so attached to that fic, but I am. I love the premise of a slow burn fic where the characters still get to do sexy things during the awkward slow burn oblivious period. It’s like the best of both worlds.”

Machu Pechinku - Jrnsaxa

“Forget France and Nepal, what if Serena spent her sabbatical in Peru? The setting in this is beautifully vivid, as is the the delicate ways in which Serena and Bernie start to reconnect after Elinor.”

Hello, Major - lesbianquill

“This is a near perfect Serena being fixated on Bernie in fatigues fic. The first chapter is very insightful, helping us to understand why Bernie might not be happy to accede to Serena’s small kink/obsession. That of course doesn’t last for too long because Bernie loves Serena and she loves having sex with Serena. It was offered as a smutty one shot, but then they rewarded us with an even smuttier second chapter and teased us with the news that a third chapter would be forthcoming. It never happened. Main reason for wishing it could be continued? I enjoy well-written smut.”

In the Spirit of Three Stars - alwayssomethingelse

“Bernie and Serena as Federation officers on Deep Space Nine. Oh, the potential!”

Anatomically Correct - phantomunmasked

“Bernie severely overcompensating for any possible awkwardness in their first time by ordering a mountain of sex toys is a premise that will always delight me. Every time I go back to this one, I ponder what their weekend away would bring with a big grin.”

The Clinic - RexWolfe

“Maybe it’s all the Bramwell we’ve been watching, but this one’s been on my mind lately. Can’t go wrong with a Victorian AU.”

a life in pictures - Regency

"I soooo want to see Serena maybe modelling for Bernie (or at least just how the date goes)”

working up a storm inside my head - sevtacular

“While this isn’t actually an unfinished fic in the sense of chapters missing, the prompt fic collection of Sev can always be added to as far as I’m concerned. Love what has been written so far, hope there will be new chapters with time.”

Body and Soul - ChalkHillBlue

“Possibly the weirdest AU idea ever, this body swap AU makes my brain go crazy with the possibilities every time I read it.”

When We Need One Another The Most - Whispersmummy

“I know this isn’t strictly Berena but it wouldn’t have been written if not for the Berena fandom who love most every conceivable way these two dorks might get together. Very well written (imo) and cleverly constructed fic. Lots and lots of angst and who doesn’t love angst? Only thing missing is a small amount of smut. (Yes I’m back there).”

Ring In The New - fiveroundsrapid

“Fics where Bernie comes to Holby before/during Adrienne’s illness are my kryptonite, and this one is so good!”

Holby One: A Star Wars AAU Story - elitryalittle

“Holby One is my favorite unfinished fic. It’s not just because I came to Berena via Star Wars (a bit of an unusual way, but here I am), but also because I can totally see Serena as a healer and Bernie as a Jedi knight. Kudos for their excellent knowledge of the SWU and this great idea of a crossover fic. I’d give them a limited edition “Looking for Leia” patch and a sticker if they’d finish it.”

to gaze at you, from afar (I sigh, I sigh, I sigh) - bonnissance

“The photographer/model AU you never knew you needed in your life, but you really, really do.”

Heroic Endeavor - Nicolaruth27

“I never would’ve thought I’d be down for a Greek god AU, but this fic has permanent residence in a corner of my brain. Bernie as Athena in mortal form is inspired, and the way the fic is interwoven with canon is a delight.”

what a lovely way to burn - ktlsyrtis

“I just love anything that's weaved into canon but with them being happy and dating and communicating."

Love, Unexpected - Igerna

“Bernie is still married to Marcus when she meets Serena during a conference. They immediately bond and keep in contact, sharing both professional advice and thoughts on their private lives. Love, for them, happens rather unexpectedly. I do love conference fics and slow burns - and this is a good one.”

a little less war torn - kitnkabootle

“The setup for this - in which Serena is the one who goes to help when Bernie is brought to Holby, instead of Raf - is one of my favorite ‘what ifs’ to ponder, and the writing is outstanding.”

[thiswasinevitableid]

for the meet ugly asks, 18 with the ot4? nsfw, if possible? thanks

Here you go! It is indeed NSFW.

18: we were just introduced at a party by our mutual friend and when my partner comes to join us, you freak out because you were just outside making out with them and you pull me aside to tell me

“Duck! Over here!” Aubrey waves him through the crowd, pointing to the lumberjack lookalike next to her, “this is the guy I was telling you about. Barclay’s an old friend of Dani's and, get this, he and Indrid know each other too. Wait, where is mr. mothman?” Aubrey cranes her neck.

“He had to work a late shift, but he says hi. Literally” He fumbles his phone, “fuck, sorry, first thing to go when I’ve been drinkin is my coordination.” He eventually triumphs, showing them the photo of Indrid, silver hair tied back and Void the Rat perched on the sleeve of his ‘Waffle House’ shirt. The sticker on the photo says “Hi!”

“Aww” Barclay’s voice is the epitome of gentle giant, “he always wanted a rat. I’m glad he got one.”

“Whelp, now that I got you two talking, I’m gonna go spend some ‘quality time’ with my girlfriend.”

“Just don't get caught makin’ out in a closet again.” Duck calls. Aubrey flips him off with a smile.

“So how did you and Indrid--oh, there you are babe. Thought you mighta snuck out to take a work call.”

“No, just had to de-escalate a shoving match on the back porch. I know you love Jake, but maybe next time we should just have him over rather than coming to the kind of party we outgrew in undergrad. I’m discovering I don’t enjoy being under the influence in this kind of cramped party anymore."

“Yeah, not really loving the noise. I lose my voice enough in the kitchen. Duck, this is my boyfriend, Joseph. Joseph, this is Duck, he’s a friend of Dani and Aubrey’s.”

Duck crunches his cup as his mind takes a violent spin an hour into the past.

He’d been out on the side deck getting some air and sipping his beer when a guy who looks like he walked in from the set of some splashy T.V show where everyone is hot joined him. His lips looked damn good whenever he sipped his beer and Duck did his best to turn on the southern charm. It was sort of working, until he complimented the guys button up; it was covered in drawings of cryptids--including mothman, Indrid’s favorite--and fit him in the way that made Duck want to rip the buttons off with his teeth. As soon as he demonstrated his enjoyment of listening to a hot guy talk about monsters, the taller man moved gradually closer, bumping shoulders and locking eyes with growing boldness. When Duck said the song booming out of the house was his go-to for putting the moves on someone, the other man asked to see his technique.

They spent the next three songs in the darkest corner of the porch, Duck’s back pressing into metal slats as his new friend wove his fingers into his hair and teased their tongues together with an experts touch.

When Duck breathlessly asked if he wanted to go somewhere more private, he murmured, “Only after we’ve had a chance to talk about some things.”

Then his phone buzzed and he was gone, leaving Duck horny and tipsy under the stars.

Back in the present, he does everything possible to keep from meeting Joseph’s eyes as he mumbles, “I, uh, I, I need some help with somethin in the kitchen? Fuck, yeah, kitchen, Barclay can you come help?”

“Sure. Be right back, babe.”

The kitchen is packed with people doing ill-advised things with drinks, so Duck keeps Barclay in the hall as he whispers, “Man, I, I’m so fuckin sorry but I gotta say somethin’. Joe and I, we, uh, we already met.”

“Makes sense, he’s been in town a year. I just got here.”

“That ain’t the kind of meetin I mean. We got a little, uh, friendly on the porch tonight.”

Barclay gives an “ah” of understanding. Then he chuckles, “thought he looked a little ruffled when he passed me earlier.”

“I’m real fuckin sorry, I didn’t know. ‘Drid and I got an, an agreement, but I shoulda checked to see if he was datin someone.”

“That would have been smart.” Joe appears at Barclay’s shoulder, “but that’s why I said we needed to talk before we did anything else.” He strokes Barclay’s beard, “you and Indrid aren’t the only ones with an open relationship of sorts.”

“Ohthankfuck.” Duck slumps against the wall.

“While I was making sure no one made a punch that could give them alcohol poisoning, you were getting hot and heavy? That’s not fair, babe.” Barclay teases.

“I’ll make it up to you, big guy. Are you safe to drive?”

“Gonna give it another half-hour, just to be safe. You need a ride home, Duck?”

“Uh, sure, that’d be great.”

Soon, he’s bundled in the back of a Subaru, Joe sitting beside him while Barclay navigates through Saturday night traffic. They luck out; the game ran long, so they’re not fighting the throng coming out of the football stadium. When they reach his apartment, Joe stops him and hands Duck his phone. Duck didn’t even feel him take it in the first place. As he waves goodnight, he spots a new number sitting in his contacts and smiles.

----------------------------------------------------------

“...the point is, it amuses me that Joseph shares my taste in me.” Indrid sips his white chocolate mocha, then yawns wide enough for Barclay to spot his tongue piercing, “apologies, I didn’t get to bed until three.”

“Jesus, man, gonna tell Duck to start knocking you out.”

“I was working on commissions.”

Barclay gives him a disbelieving look.

“....I was working on commissions until midnight. Then I spent three hours watching videos on the finer points of home entomology.”

“There it is. You can’t fool me, I remember what you were like at sleepovers.”

“It was very important to read every single Eyewitness book your parents generously bought you.” Indrid takes another sip with an imperious tilt of his head.

Barclay bumps his unoccupied hand, “It’s so fucking nice to see you again.”

Indrid looks at him over his glasses, brown eyes as beautiful as they were when he was sixteen, “Likewise. Oh!” He perks up, “do you know what this means? We can have a double-date! I’ve always wanted to try that.”

“Sure Joseph will be into it; he has a spreadsheet of optimal date locations. Bet he’ll have fun making one for double-dates.”

“That is...exceptionally geeky.”

Barclay sends a love-struck smile into his coffee cup, “Yeah, he is.”

-----------------------------------------------

Joe is more diabolical than Duck gave him credit for. And he thought he was pretty fucking cunning after he suggest seeing the local hockey team; the chilly arena gave Indrid and excuse to cuddle up to anyone who held still for too long and gave Joe plenty of opportunities to make double entendres about sticks in Duck’s ear.

But a night out at “Woofs” AKA the kind of gay bar where Duck and Barclay get hit on constantly is a whole new level of torment. Especially because Indrid hangs off Duck proudly (when he’s not teasing Barclay for the number of free drinks he’s getting) and Joseph even asks him to dance. When he peeks over the taller man’s shoulder, he sees Barclay resting his hand on Indrid’s arm while whispering something that makes him grin.

Dancing really is the most fitting thing he could be doing, because it’s what all four of them have chosen to do about this; dance around the fact that Indrid and Barclay dated, dance around the fact Joe and Duck kissed, danced around the fact that they’re more or less acting like a polycule already.

“Oh no.” Joe mutters, eyes on the door, “things are about to get loud.”

Duck’s about to point out that the club is already loud when he’s pulled out of the path of not one, but two bachelorette parties. They opt to stay, although Barclay gets hit on by someone who doesn’t believe he’s gay. Joe takes him onto the floor for a slow dance while Duck steps into the bathroom. When he comes out, his boyfriend is nowhere to be found.

“You guys seen ‘Drid?”

Joe shakes his head, all three of them already moving for the door. They find Indrid across the street on a bench, hunched over and tapping on his knees.

“‘Drid?” Duck sits gently beside him, “you get overwhelmed?”

Indrid nods.

“You wanna head home?”

Another nod. Duck suspects the overstimulation spiked without warning, which usually means…

“You need to be nonverbal for a bit?”

This time Indrid looks at him when he nods, then cringes when he sees Joe and Barclay are watching.

“Our place is closer.” Joe offers, copying Duck’s tone, “we can all bus back there so you can be somewhere quiet. Or, um, if you need it to just be you two, that’s fine too.”

Indrid holds up a finger, indicating option one. Duck helps him up and let’s him stay hidden against his shoulder while they wait for the bus.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

This used to terrify Barclay. He and Indrid would be hanging out, would be stealthily holding hands in the top row of the football stadium, and his boyfriend would shut down. Barclay, sensing distress, would try to figure out what was wrong, would start to panic when Indrid couldn’t communicate the things happening in his mind and body. They had more than one fight where his attempts to help only made Indrid more overstimulated to the point he snapped at him to fuck off (and, on one occasion, hissed at him).

They worked it out eventually, Barclay keeping a mental list of things that soothed his friend. Watching Duck do some of them, how calm and loving he was, makes something complex bloom in his chest, as vibrant and beautiful as the Dahlias Duck brought them from the garden (“weather’s been so fuckin weird things are bloomin when they shouldn’t”).

When they make it home, Duck stops in the living room and looks between Indrid and Barclay for a moment. Then he murmurs, “‘Drid, you want Barclay to keep you company for a bit?”

Indrid smiles and nods, takes Barclay’s hand and follows him to the bedroom. He lets his memories drive, keeps the light off, arranges his body so Indrid can relax against him, and pets his hair with slow, light motions. His friend hums, meaning he’s on the right track. As he strokes his head he notices the black roots peeking through the silver; it was jarring to see Indrid with pale hair when all his memories were of dark locks of it falling over his face or catching on Barclays hands.

He looks good with the silver. More like himself.

Metal pokes his chest. He takes the glasses Indrid hands him, sets them on Joseph’s stack of library books, then gives a startled, “nnfph” as his friend pulls Barclay on top of him.

“Like the weight” Indrid mumbles, wrapping his arms around him. The longer they lay there, the easier it is to overhear the conversation in the other room.

“I feel awful, if I’d known I’d have never recommended we go somewhere like a loud bar.”

“S’okay, Joe. ‘Drid is still a little wary of tellin people that’s something he has to consider when goin’ out; Dani and them get it, but other folks think he’s bein’ a buzzkill.

“That’s ridiculous.”

“You’re tellin me. Besides, sometimes it comes up so fast, or happens in places he ain’t anticipatin it. He’ll be okay, especially with Barclay takin’ care of him.”

A pause, then, “Do you need someone to, um, take care of you?”

“Joe-”

“It’s alright if the answer is no. But part of my plan was to get everyone in a, um, bit of a frisky mood.”

A snicker, “Frisky?”

“I was trying not to be too crude.”

“Joe, you know how I feel about you. But we gotta check with the others to be sure everythin is on the level.”

“Tell them to come in.” Indrid whispers, a smile plain in his voice.

“Uh, babe? Could you and Duck come in here a sec?”

“Everythin oka--ffft” Duck snorts a laugh, “guess he improvised not havin a weighted blanket.”

“That I did.”

Duck bursts into a grin, hurrying to settle on the bed near Indrid’s head, “Hey, sugar. How you feelin’?”

“Much better. It helps that this one is very soothing.” He toys with Barclay’s hair, sending goosebumps up his arms, “though it seems he had a slighty different reaction to our contact.”

Barclay was so distracted by the conversation that he hadn’t realized his cock was hardening along the familiar warmth of Indrid’s thigh whenever one of them shifted.

“Fuck, Indrid, I’m sorry-”

“It’s alright. In fact, it is rather relevant to what you two were discussing in the hall. Am I correct that we all wish to be in some form of polyamorous relationship with each other?”

“Yes” say two voices along with his own.

“Wonderful. I suggest we hash out details later. Right now, it seems you two have, ah, unfinished business.”

“Fuckin finallyAH” Duck cackles as Joseph knocks him backwards, kissing him frantically while yanking up his shirt. As soon as his belly is exposed Joseph begins pawing and groping from there up his sides. Indrid nudges Barclay so they can sit up, allowing the other two more room to disrobe. Or, more accurately, for Joseph to disrobe both himself and Duck, since the shorter man is having trouble moving his limbs between bursts of laughter and moaning.

Joseph crawls backwards, shoving Duck’s legs apart and groping his thighs, “I’ve wanted to get my hands on these since the party. Lord almighty did you look good in those jeans.” He kisses his way up the left thigh, moaning and mouthing at the skin. His posture puts his perfect ass in the air, which happens to be one of Barclay’s favorite views in the whole world. He unzips his pants, fights to get his cock out as Indrid begins offering commentary from beside him.

“Mmmm, were I not still rather exhausted, I’d make him do that to us both.”

Joseph raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t move his mouth from where it’s teasing Duck’s inner thigh.

“Know you would.” He reaches down to play with Joseph’s hair, “‘Drid’s got a whole fantasy where you blow him while I sit on his face.”

“Funny” Barclay’s voice is turning rough with desire,“he’s got one where he takes all three of us at once.”

Joseph’s face lacks any trace of self-consciousness, a rare thing for him, which means this whole arrangement is fucking brilliant. He simply nods, then takes Duck’s dick into his mouth.

“JEsus, fuck, Joe, ohfuckyeah.” Duck holds Joseph’s head encouragingly, “shoulda known you’d be good at this, you’re so fuckin good at everythin, fuck, fuck.”

Barclay grips his cock, trying to stroke in time with movements of Joseph’s head. Slender fingers carefully push his aside as Indrid purrs, “allow me.”

“You, you don’t have to, you said you were tired-”

“Not too tired for this” he strokes up more firmly, then brushes their lips together, “or this.”

It’s like tasting Hershey Chocolate or Marionberry Pie, transporting him back to their shitty hometown in Eastern Oregon, to summer heat on his skin and basement air in his nose as Indrid proved that yes, kissing boys was what he wanted to do.

Indrid’s certainly gotten better at it since then. Barclay likes to think he has, hopes the other man is feeling even half the things currently piling up in Barclay’s chest.

“Oh.” Indrid sighs as he pulls back, “that’s even better than I remember.”

A particularly loud moan from Joseph, underscored by Duck cursing happily, brings them back to the present.

Barclay moans as Indrid’s hand moves more deliberately.

“Do you remember the first time we did this?”

“Uh huh, c-couch, in that, fuck, that basement rec room at my house.”

“You came so fast.”

“Can’t really blame me.”

“Given the sounds he’s making, he might do the same thing now.” Joseph smiles at them from over Duck’s knee, “that’s one of the best things about you. You’re so sensitive, big guy.”

Barclay whines his name. His boyfriend winks, then dives back down to render Duck speechless.

“You really are” Indrid nips his ear, “remember when we, ah, lost it to each other?”

“Mmmhmm” he whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut as if that might make all this last longer. Joseph echoes the noise, making Duck groan.

“Just picture it, Joseph” Indrid is getting into it now, panting and pink-cheeked, “Barclay, eighteen and even shyer than he is now, in my lap, begging me to fuck him.”

‘I, I wasn’t the only one begging.” He grins.

“Of course not. I was desperate to get to it because just seeing you naked had me certain I was going to--one moment” he releases Barclay’s cock, ignoring his whimper to clamber into a position that allows him to kiss Duck as the shorter man grinds into Joseph’s mouth. He doesn’t pull back until Duck’s hips slow and Joseph is busy wiping his lips.

“I can never resist kissing you while you cum.”

“Fuck I love you.” Duck cups Indrid’s cheek. The silver haired man rubs against his palm a moment, then retreats. Duck growls at Joseph, “as for you, you got ten seconds to open your legs so I can show you a good time.”

“So thoughtful” Indrid pecks his cheek, returns to Barclay, “now, where was I…”

“Shy, AHshit, fuckingchristthat’s good.” Joseph’s legs sprawl open as Duck finger-fucks him, sitting on his side to kiss him without obstructing Barclay’s view.

“Ah yes.” He kisses Barclays neck, hand teasing the head of his cock, “you insisted on bottoming because you were so scared you might hurt me. I can still see it, you on your hands and knees, asking me to take you--those were your exact words--then whimpering when I finally got my cock in.”

“Fuck” Joseph is clearly enjoying the story; if Barclay had known he was into this, he would have made all his exes record voicemails describing their exploits.

“If memory serves I came very fast, because you were so much tighter than I expected and you, you felt so good. I used my hands to get you off-”

“Uh huh, fuck, you hadn’t pulled out yet and it was so fucking good, fuck, Indrid-”

“You made such cute noises when you came” a slow, deep kiss as heat floods him, “I wonder if you’ll do the same now.”

“Probably” is all he grunts out before he’s cumming hard enough that most of it hits Joseph’s stomach rather than Indrid’s fingers. His head lolls as his cock pulses, and beneath his own heartbeat he picks up Duck ordering Joseph to be good and cum for him. After a moment, there’s the distinct moan his boyfriend makes during his climax. It’s followed, confusingly, by weak laughter. His eyes flutter open to see Indrid licking his cum off Joseph’s chest, which happens to be ticklish.

He scoots over to join them, Joseph kissing him sleepily the instant he’s close enough.

“You sure you don’t need to cum, sugar?”

“I’m only half-hard, and I know I’m too tired to make it the rest of the way. Not that this wasn’t supremely satisfying. But you each owe me an orgasm sometime in the future.”

“All in favor of blowin ‘Drids mind tomorrow mornin’”

He and the other two raise their hands in sync. Then the four of them collapse, laughing, in each others arms.

[dinosaurtsukki]

[ oikawa + dating an s/o with chronic illness & pain ] 

anon: hello! i know this is a bit out of the ordinary & you absolutely don't have to if you don't want to, but would you be willing to write some ushijima/hinata/oikawa/atsumu [these are just options you def don't have to do all of them] with a s/o that has chronic illness & pain?

a/n: hiiii !! okay so i did some research on living with chronic illness and pain (mostly watching youtube videos for a visual) because i don’t want to misrepresent anything. i do hope that i do this well and please let me know if there are any parts that i should fix !! also, added the little detail of oikawa being a doctor who fan because i feel like he is one

just for clarification, since there are different kinds of chronic illnesses out there, y/n has EDS (ehlers-danlos syndrome)

oikawa had been your childhood friend since forever and the two of you were also neighbors

ever since you were young, he often noticed that you were always ‘clumsy’ and somehow getting into all sorts of accidents. you two would be walking and your ankles would suddenly give way and you’d end up falling

along with that, you were terrible at sports and always tired out and ached all over even after one PE session. the two of you just assumed you were just not the active type 

whenever oikawa and iwaizumi were playing volleyball, you were always sitting from a distance cheering the both of them on although he sometimes felt bad that you couldn’t join in so he’d invite you inside to watch shows with him 

the two of you bonded over doctor who and would watch hours of it on end. oikawa’s definitely a nerd and loves gushing to you about the show and seeing you enjoy it

you and oikawa definitely grew closer over the years and he began to see you as someone who was more than a friend. in your second year of high school, he finally asked if you would like to date him (definitely did the whole ‘would you be the companion to my doctor?’ whole thing because he’s a nerd

of course you were happy because you thought oikawa just saw you as a friend. a lot of your dates consisted of doing stuff at home and the occasional cafe visit

as you grew older, your symptoms became way more apparent and obvious to you as ‘not normal’ but it was oikawa who took them more seriously compared to other people

it became so common for a shoulder to dislocate and at one point you even had to wear knee braces to help you walk. you were also constantly feeling tired or nauseous

he helped you with convincing your parents to talk to a doctor and of course it took a whole lot of visits before they were finally able to diagnose you with EDS

of course oikawa has already started researching on your condition as much as possible. he definitely wishes that he helped you and convinced your family much earlier on

at first, it was hard for you manage all your medications, especially the ones for your blood pressure and pain, but oikawa helped you a lot. the two of you once spent about an hour sorting your meds into a pill organizer

he also has alarms on his phone to help remind you when to take your medications

in the mornings, he likes to give you a good morning call to wake you up and keep you company after blood pressure spikes up and while you wait for your medications to kick in 

knows you need a bit of help in the morning going through your routine so sometimes he comes over to your house to help you. he’s VERY meticulous about washing his hands

oikawa did a bit of research on how to manage your fingers constantly dislocating so he bought you some finger splints and a thumb brace

he thinks they look cool on your fingers and even suggested that you put blades on them 

you: why would i put blades on my finger splints? 

oikawa: you know, for the people who say you’re overreacting

you: oHOOOO

ok but i don’t think you can they might cut your own fingers

he also got you a thumb brace but he got it designed with a moon and stars pattern so it looks pretty

things of course got a bit more difficult when your condition started to affect your gastro-intestinal system and you had to start using a feeding tube 

you couldn’t eat food like normal anymore and being in school was more difficult since you basically ate by injecting nutrients in through your tube

whenever he heard anyone whispering about you in school, if they said anything at all about you overreacting, oikawa would quickly shut them down because they had no idea what you were going through

one time he had the bright idea of cheering you up by sticking a picture of himself on your IV pole for you to look at whenever you feel sad

he looked SO PROUD when he showed you and you took one look at the oikawa IV pole and just went ‘what makes you think i want to see you staring at me while i inject my nutrients?’

oikawa: i thought :( it would make you feel better :(

you: maybe if it was a picture of david tennant...

oikawa: wow, was david tennant the one who popped your shoulder into place earlier? NO

when class picture day comes along, oikawa could tell that you were insecure about having to take your picture with your feeding tube in plain sight 

he sits beside you while you do your make-up and even helps out with fixing your hair when you feel too tired. all too help you feel like your best self

and THEN, he surprises you with a feeding tube sticker that’s in the shape of saturn. he even has a temporary tattoo that’s in the shape of an alien

oikawa: it’s so that we’re matching, y/n! 

it makes you feel a bit better knowing that you and your boyfriend are matching and oikawa’s super careful sticking the tape on your feeding tube and cheek

and the two of you take a whole bunch of selfies before your picture with your faces pressed together, showing the matching space icons on your cheeks

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

a/n: once again, i hope that you guys like this. for those with chronic illness & pain, i hope i didn’t misrepresent anything (again, please let me know if i did and i’ll edit this post) and for those without, i hope this was also a good read :)

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist):@montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan​ @therainroguefanfiction​ @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh​ @charliefredb​ @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love @waitforitillwritemywayout @kattykurr @atsumusdomain​ @goodfoodxoxoxo​ @ah-kaashi​ @guardianangelswings @definitely-yours @amberalisa @whootwhoot​ @liz-multifandom-hotel @kac-chowsballs

[unironicduncanstan]

Randi’s Kustom Kandi! (Comes with free stickers!)

🌈💖 Hello, I’m a queer autistic low-income artist selling completely customized Kandi bracelets for $1 a piece ! 💖🌈

😘 Details and how to start your order below 😘

💲 COST: Pony bead bracelets, with colors, b&w words, or plain star beads, are $1 each, no taxes, just $1.00 flat. The use of colored letters and iridescent stars are $1.25. As of right now to keep stock up, bracelets consisting of Only star beads aren’t available to order. Charm options are not yet available, but will eventually be added, and prices may range. This is all just based on how much it costs to buy the beads to make these bracelets! 💲

📦 SHIPPING: Each order will end up with a different estimate for shipping costs, based on where you live, and how many bracelets you order. I ship through USPS and I should be able to ship almost anywhere, but the further away you are, the higher shipping will be. I’m shipping out of Kansas. Domestic shipping will probably start at around $3 - $8, international shipping will just have to depend. If you want an estimate before starting an order, just give me your address and an idea of how many bracelets you might want, and I’ll get back to you asap. 📦

🤷‍♀️ AVAILABILITY: I have a full rainbow array of pony beads including b&w, some neons and pastels too, I have a nice color range of star beads including b&w and transparent, and some iridescent star beads as well, and then for letters I have black on white, white on black, color on black and color on white. A lot of these can be seen in the example image above!  🤷‍♀️

IMPORTANT TO NOTE;;; My pony beads are all around 6x4mm, and the letter beads are 6x6mm. This is considered somewhat Small for kandi bracelets. This isn’t a choice I made to skimp out, this size is actually more expensive and harder to find than the usual 6x9mm, I just very much prefer this size to work with and wear. It’s only a tad bit more subtle, but it fits most people a lot better and I would Definitely recommend it for people with smaller wrists or who are just starting out with Kandi.

🤔 HOW TO ORDER: So basically, how you choose to tell me the pattern you want is up to you, you can draw it out if you want or just try to explain it with words, or whatever else works. Once you explain what you want, I’ll show you what beads I have that match your request, and you can decide what you want out of those options. 

An example could be; “I would like a bracelet with a repeating pattern of red and blue pony beads, with the word PLUR in black on white letters, and two pink stars on each side, just like this!” 

To which I might say; “Ok, here I have 2 shades of red and 4 shades of blue, and I have plain pink stars or iridescent pink, which ones would you like me to use?” and then I’d show you a picture of all of these colors for you to decide! Once we have all your bracelets planned out, I’ll ask for a few more details to give you your total price. Then once the payment goes through, I’ll start working! Whenever your bracelets are all complete, I’ll send you pictures of the finished products to make sure you like them (if not I’ll redo at no extra charge). After you give the OK, I’ll ship them out! (You can also ask for some ‘random/surprise me’ bracelets if you aren’t sure of any patterns, of course.)

What I have in stock might vary, I will try to update this post as that goes, so please make sure to visit this posts SOURCE instead of a reblog before you start an order to check for availability. Please send your order requests to THIS blog, through PM if you can. If you want an alternate way of communication, contact me however you can and we’ll go from there. I have discord, facebook messenger, email, etc. 🤔

🤷🏻 WHAT ELSE I NEED: When confirming your order, I’ll need your shipping address. I’ll then be able to calculate shipping cost and give you a full price. (Again, zero hard feelings if you can’t afford the price I give, like, bad vibes in the NEGATIVES, been there done that, and I’ll be available if you ever do have the funds, but please understand I can’t change shipping costs, I really would make it free if I could.) After that I’ll ask for your paypal and send a payment request, once that payment goes through is when I start your order! I’ll have to ask a few more questions, like your wrist measurements (or an estimate, since the bracelet is made of elastic it’ll have a decent amount of stretch, but this may warp how spaced your beads are if it’s too inaccurate.), and i’ll need your first and last name (it doesnt have to be a legal name, just something to put on your package). 🤷🏻

📫 SHIPPING TIME: Once again, this will depend on how far you are, and because of c0v1d it may be more delayed than expected. I’ll try to send you a tracking number as soon as your item ships. 📫

📿 CHARMS: If you’d like more options, the best solution I’ve been able to think of for now is that if you’d like, you could surf Ebay, Etsy, Etc. till you find some charms you’d want me to use, and then if you’re okay with covering the cost to get them (typically $5 to $15 for a decent lot) and then waiting a bit extra for me to receive them, I would have no problem using those for you! :) Someday I’d really like to stock up on popular charms to have more choices available, but I don’t quite have the funds quite yet. Thank you for your understanding. 📿

😷 ALLERGY/SENSITIVE SKIN NOTICE: I seal small parts of my bracelets to reduce the chance of breakage. I use a very tiny drop of Loctite Super Glue Gel on the knot. This glue does not keep the beads from moving freely or lock them into place, it’s used sparingly as a sealant. If you ever receive a bracelet that is locked or sticky, I would fully refund you and offer to send another. You can also absolutely opt out of this, Just add “No glue” somewhere to your order. Just be warned that your bracelet will be less protected from breakage. 😷

❗ DISCLAIMER: Either way, I cannot take responsibility for a bracelet eventually breaking down. Kandi and elastic bracelets in general are a bit prone to snapping, but mostly over time and especially if used in rave settings. I use high quality jewelry elastic from amazon, very high rated and recommended by other Kandi makers, and I knot them 3 times, so mine should last as long as they possibly can. Please make sure your wrist measurements are as accurate as they can be, and please be gentle when taking them on or off, just being careful will help prolong it’s usage by a lot. Now if a bracelet arrives broken, I will of course replace it, no extra charge. ❗

🦄 STICKERS: Order 5 bracelets and get one free sticker! Order 10 and get two, so on and so forth in a pattern of 5. The stickers are hand cut by me from large books and sheets, so the edges might look odd but the sticker itself should be unharmed. These are completely random, and based loosely around a scenecore aesthetic. Most are pretty ‘medium’ sized, but they do range quite a bit. 🦄

✍ CONTENT: Kandi, scene and rave culture, is in a general sense, a very upbeat and supportive based environment. I do not want to make bracelets with negative messages on them. I will obviously NEVER make any with hate speech or rude remarks, but beyond that, please keep your phrases positive. If you want something thats meant to fight hate, like “kill all n*zis” or something, I'm not opposed to that as it’s for justice, it’s just that most Kandi is focused on ‘happy party vibe’ messages. As far as media or interests, like if you want a bracelet that says “Gir” or “100 gecs”, or uses ship names, etc. I will not deny you any interest you choose. BUT, I am personally uncomfortable with d.dl/g and won’t make bracelets based on that, nor will I ever make bracelets supporting ped0ph1lic or 1ncestu0us content, including if they’re based on medias or fictional ships. As far as pride bracelets, I would LOVE to make those for you, and I will Never deny working with your identity, pronouns, etc. once again, unless it’s a p/ed0 flag or something. I will never deny working with any mental or physical disability/illness or other kind of divergency pride. Race and/or religion pride is also great except for “White pr1de” because of the violent connotations behind that concept. NSFW Kandi is fine, cussing is fine, I hope this goes without saying but please only ask for Kandi with a slur on it if you can reclaim that slur, and overall, just be mindful with what you ask for if you plan to wear it in public settings like raves. If you have any controversial ideas you felt this didn’t cover, please feel free to ask, I will not get angry at you for your request, even if I have to deny it. ✍

Thank you for reading! I look forward to doing business with you 😊

[the-necessary-unnecessary]

Mapi Leon's coming out story: the impact of words.

Being the first professional Spanish women’s footballer playing in Spain to publicly come out she caused waves amongst the media and general public (Laura del Rio had previously given interviews about her sexuality but that only when she had moved to the US to play). I have translated the article in which she came out on this day two years ago below because google translate won’t do it justice, but I also wanted to give a bit of backstory about the impact that her coming out had. Now Mapi isn’t just any Spanish player, although obviously not that well-known, she made headlines for being the first female Spanish player to have a transfer fee attached to her when she moved from Atletico to Barça. The fact that she had a higher profile than most other players makes her coming out so publicly even more of a big deal, because her larger platform meant she had more to lose but also meant she understood the power of her words in influencing her audience. Although people just living their lives on social media and casually mentioning their same-sex partners in interviews without a coming out moment is very important, her doing an interview for the national press openly talking about coming out as well as discussing her footballing career is essential too.

Six months after coming out she did another interview talking about the reception that she got on social media after coming out. She said that ‘she didn’t stop receiving messages: “Thank You”, “I saw you and you gave me strength”, “I’m not alone”. Women and Men from all over Spain recognised her gesture and saw themselves reflected in it. “I read them all, but I wasn’t able to reply. I didn’t think that it would turn into something so important for so many people.”’ Her coming out resulted in her being invited to be part of the opening events of Madrid Pride 2018. “When I came out publicly, I became aware of the significance of the action, and that it was much bigger than a single moment or my private life.” She also recognised how different parts of Spain reacted dissimilarly to her coming out and being a public figurehead: “In Barcelona they said ‘well okay great,’ but maybe in less urban areas like Zaragoza [where she is originally from] it wasn’t all like that”, even if bigger cities are more accepting there are places that needed to hear her words more.

Not only was it an influential moment in many supporters’ lives, she also had an impact within the women’s football community itself. She said that as a result of her coming out she saw “more photos, more nods towards players being in relationships with women on social media… as if now one’s sexuality matters even less [in women’s football]. Before you shied away a bit, at the end of the day we’re footballers, not just people, we represent a club, a country, a supporters base… and maybe that was why there was a bit of shyness online. Now I see that everything is done more naturally, without shouting about it on rooftops, but indirectly doing just that.” Even though she didn’t know how much of an impact her words would have at the time, her coming out story helped so many people and continues to be a beacon in Spanish LGBTQ+ visibility – which isn’t always as holistic as it’s sometimes portrayed to be on here.

I have left the translated version of her initial coming out news article below the cut.

Woso Pride Month 2020 [Day 23/30]

FC Barcelona’s defender is left-footed like Messi, she’s just one the Copa de la Reina and in August she will be called up to the national team. She thinks that it is important to “stand up for everyone’s rights”

“I was never very into dolls. I preferred to play ball with my brother and his friends.” And did you beat them? “Well, if I had been bad at it the boys would have kicked me out.” Maria Pilar León is tenacious and tough, perhaps that’s why she’s a centre-back. This blonde 23 year old woman kicks a ball with her left foot like Messi, has a tattoo sleeve on her arm that reminds one of Sergio Ramos’ and they compare her with Piqué due to the ease she has with playing the ball out of the penalty box… although at first sight she looks more like Shakira. Like them, she steps onto the pitch with the fierceness of a warrior. Only a few weeks ago she won the Copa de la Reina with Barça, a goal in the last 10 seconds of the final gave them the victory over Atletico de Madrid. There’s another trait that makes her similar to those footballing icons: she openly and naturally lives with her sexuality, for she also likes women. “And there’s no issue with that. This is who I am and there’s nothing wrong about it”.

Mapi, like they call her on the pitch, doesn’t want life to catch her offside. In a sporting environment with notoriety of being sexist and chauvinist, she wants to score a goal against homophobia. “When you’re a public figure, you have some sort of responsibility. I think that it’s important to stand up for everyone’s rights, there is no need to hide. We often hear pretty disgusting things in football stadiums, not only homophobic slurs but also racist ones, and I believe that we – as the people in sport – need to send a clear message about tolerance and against hatred.” Fair play was about this.

Here we can return to the first paragraph. Mapi is tenacious and tough, she’s also brave and not only on the pitch. You need a lot of courage to talk publicly about something that male footballers are silent about. “I can understand their silence given how chauvinistic football can be. There are a lot of closed-minded people who would insult them, although that kind of insults tell you more about who says them… There’s a lot of pressure in a match, you have to be extremely concentrated and to stand up to that kind of thing is tough. So, in that sense, I understand why they don’t come out. But, on the other hand, it’s something so natural that it escapes me for as to why they don’t do it, I think if they were open the mentality would change bit by bit. In this sense, we have to move forward and progress.”

Chants such as “Michel, Guti (or whoever else), faggot” are common place in stadiums, but Mapi rests assure that she has never suffered from any homophobia on the pitch. “It’s true that there are players whose parents think that this is an illness, but I’ve been lucky in this respect. My parents told me that they would love whoever I loved. And never have I been insulted by anyone nor nothing like that. Maybe it’s because football is, above everything, chauvinistic and sexist. So the bottom line is that a lot of people aren’t thrilled that we women play. I guess those that come and see our matches a more in favour of equality. They are more open minded. They like seeing us play, they enjoy it.

And it’s true, every year more and more people enjoy women’s football. In other countries, like the US, the sport is clearly booming. 1,500 universities have their own teams and there are stars, like Alex Morgan, who take photos alongside Messi. In Spain the situation is a lot more modest, although it is beginning to change. Mapi, for example, has almost 45,000 followers on Instagram. A lot more than well-known actors like Bárbara Lennie or Emma Suárez. “Yes, one could say that I have fans. There are three girls who always come and see me play. It’s pretty cool when you see them with your shirt on. Thanks to her speed and her tactical intelligence she is one of the leading figures in the Liga [now Primera] Iberdrola. In fact, she was the first female Spanish player to be a paid transfer in women’s football. Barça paid 50,000 euros for her transfer from Atletico de Madrid. A big milestone for women’s sport, and something that felt impossible to this woman who collected Ronaldinho stickers when she was younger.

“I wouldn’t be able to explain to you what I felt when they signed me, I felt complete joy. It meant that I hadn’t be mistaken in choosing football as a career. To be honest I wasn’t a great student, I scraped through. In the 4th year of ESO [Year 11/Grade 10] one of my teachers always said: ‘be careful because next time you might not pass…’ He basically told me that I wasted too much time by playing sports and I should stop playing football. Now I think about him a lot. He didn’t see me having a future, but I stuck with my passion and it ended up being the right decision.”

Mapi has played since she was a young girl, but her career started when she was 17, when Real Club Deportivo Español made her an offer. She was forced to leave her parents, Javier the mechanic and Pilar, a caregiver, in Zaragoza and jump into this adventure head first. “They were sad that I left home, but they always supported me.” The next season she received an offer from Atletico de Madrid. With them she won the league. And from there came the famous signing with Barcelona. Now, having finished the season, the centre-back will meet up with the national team to train for two matches in preparation for the 2019 World Cup in France. They have already qualified and are ready to bring the cup home. “Hopefully the men will also win in Russia”.

QUESTION.- Don’t you fear your club’s or the Federation’s reaction after talking about you being homosexual? You are the first professional player in the league to talk about it publicly…

ANSWER.- I don’t think it will be a problem. My personal life is my own and shouldn’t bother anyone else. I hope that they will support it because football needs to start opening itself up. If there are now people who are openly homosexual even in government, how could there not be homosexual people on football pitches?

Q.- And in the changing rooms? Could that not be weird? Prejudices still exist…

A.- I once talked to a [male] friend about this. He got quite caught up about it, but it’s stupid. Your teammates are like family, like sisters. With the tension you have about a match you aren’t focusing on whether they’re looking at you or that kind of thing. There’s a lot of familiarity between us.

In some ways, Mapi has cracked a glass roof, but the financial figures that women’s football deal with, compared to the ones the men deal with, are still ridiculous. A mediocre player in La Liga can win around a million euros per season, whilst most female players earn around a thousand euros per month. There are agencies, such as Carlos Rodríguez’s UPro, who manages Mapi, that try to improve the situation, but the gap here remains an abyss. “There’s always a lot of talk about the difference in salaries between women’s and men’s football. I understand that they earn a lot of money because they generate that kind of money and I’m not against that. Although it’s also true that the figures are exorbitant, everything has got exponentially higher… In the end, we do the same that they do. We dedicate the same amount of time to the game but few follow us, it may be the case that people like us but what’s missing is more promotion.

Q.- For example Doña Letizia didn’t go to the Copa de la Reina final [this means the Queen’s Cup. Leticia is the Queen of Spain and the men’s tournament called Copa del Rey after the King is always attended by him]

A.- I don’t know why she didn’t attend it. Maybe she wasn’t made aware of it, but if the King goes to the guy’s cup final she should come to ours as it carriers her name. It would really help up as it would attract a lot of attention in the press. Hopefully she’ll go next year [Spoiler: she did!]

Q.- Your male counterparts are currently playing in the World Cup hosted in Russia, a country that has a legislation which contains a crackdown on LGBT rights. What do you think about a competition like this one being played in a country like that?

A.- It’s a mistake. In some way it seems like they’re backing the homophobic legislation. In Chechnya there have been concentration camps for homosexuals and that’s something that Putin tolerates. We shouldn’t look away when presented face to face with such issues. This isn’t only about LGBT rights; these are human rights. That’s not the message of tolerance and respect that sport, and specifically football, should affiliate itself with.

Mapi is very certain about this. The match against homophobia in football can be won. She has scored the first goal. Now what’s left to do is for a lot of other athletes to join the team.

[jj-iz-bae]

Don't tell me not to worry

Word count: 1722 words

Requested by @sunwardsss : Can you do comfort 38 and 43 for Chase please? 38: “I’m in the hospital.”43: “You don’t have to sleep here just because I got admitted.”

Pairings: Chase Stokes x Reader; Chase Stokes x Rudy Pankow; Rudy Pankow x platonic!reader

Warnings: Hospitals,seizures,Fluff,bad spelling and grammar

Note from author: so this is actually based on a seizure episode I had. It only happend one time and was caused by strep throat which triggered a reaction in the auto immune disorder (the disorder basically is that instead of my immune system attacking the virus or illness, my immune system attacks my brain causing all sorts of weird things to happen. When I was younger only strep throat triggered a "flare" of increased symptoms ie ocd,anxiety,age regression,mood swings,foggy brain and other things. Sadly the disorder has developed so that I flare with any illness, not just strep) ANYWAYS 😂 I hope you enjoy this Fluff with a tiny pinch of angst. Just a tiny bit if you squint. Ace is my nickname for Chase and I've used it in other blurbs. I just think it's cute. Kinda like how I call Rudy Panky🙃

Chase was wrapping up a day on set, shoving all his belongings into a backpack. He slung the backpack over his shoulder and grabbed his keys ,leaving his casting trailer when his phone started ringing. He just realized he hadn’t heard from you all day. Seeing your name flash across the screen, he stopped in his tracks and answered. “Hey baby girl! I haven’t heard from you all day!” Chase exclaimed as he started to kick a rock around with his foot. “Sorry Ace. Please don’t freak out.I’m totally fine now but I'm in the hospital.” you explained slowly. Chase’s eyes grew large as he starred jogging to his car. "Don't tell me not to worry baby! Where are you? What happened?" Chase asked as he reached his car and fumbled with the keys, trying to move quickly in his panicked state. He swore under his breath as he dropped his keys and put you on speaker phone while he picked up his keys. You heard the rustling on the other end of the phone and grew nervous. "Chase! Babe are you OK? Calm down I promise I'm OK!" Rudy just so happened to be walking to his car when he heard your voice and saw Chase cursing at his car keys. "Hey dude! What's going on? You OK?" Rudy asked as he walked over to Chase. "Rudy! Y/n's in the hospital and I need to...I just can't.." Chase stuttered. Rudy grabbed the keys out of his hands. "I'll drive. You just talk to her." Rudy threw his stuff in the back of Chase's car as he hopped into the drivers seat and Chase ran around to the passenger seat. "OK sorry babe. Rudy is driving cause you're freaking me out. What happened?" Chase asked, running his hand through his wavy hair as Rudy pulled out of the set parking lot. "Thanks for taking care of him Rudy! I swear I'm fine! I'm at St. Marcus hospital. I think it's pretty close to town." Rudy picked up his phone and pulled up directions on his GPS before placing his phone in the cup holder so he could see the map. "No problem hun! Now tell us what happened before Chase pulls his hair out." Rudy answered ."Yeah you're scaring the shit out of me,Baby girl." Chase let out a breathy giggle.

"OK. Well I had my mom over and we were just hanging out watching TV and everything went black. Everything sounded echoey and I tried to open my eyes but it was like i had no control. I started convulsing and got sick. Mom called an ambulance and they brought me to the ER. The Er sent me here so I've been in the ambulance twice today!" You sighs. Chase nervously picked at his lips. "So what does that mean? Like did they run any tests yet?" Chase asked as Rudy broke a few traffic laws to get him to you quicker. "They have me hooked up to all these monitors and I'm going for an MRI tomorrow. The doctor said I most likely had a seizure." You explained as you looked at all the wires and iv lines covering your body. Chase let out a breathe that he didn't know he was holding. "OK baby. We will figure this out! Rudy, how far away are we?" Chase looked over at the blonde with red eyes, on the verge of tears. "It's right up here on the left." Rudy mumbled as he leaned over the steering wheel to make sure it was clear to turn. "OK babe. We just pulled into the parking lot. Where do I go?" Chase asked as he unbuckled his seat belt. "I'm on the 7th floor room 54." You said yawning. Rudy pulled up to the main entrance and stopped the car. "Go ahead man. I'll park the car and meet you up there." Rudy explained as Chase gave him a quick hug and jumped out of the car and jogged to the entrance. "OK I'm getting in the elevator now. Ill see you in 2 seconds OK? I'll be right there!" Chase babbled on as he put the phone up to his ear, taking it off speaker. "So how was work?" You asked trying to distract him a little. "Y/n as much as I wanna tell you about my day, I can't remember shit right now." Chase smirked as you hummed in response.

The elevator dinged and Chase got off the elevator and walked up to the nurses station. He put his phone on his shoulder so he wouldn't look rude for not giving the nurse his full attention. "Hello miss! My girlfriend is here somewhere. Room 54. Her name is y/f/n y/l/n. I can give you her birthday if you want to verify I'm not some weirdo." Chase said talking a mile a minute. The nurse just smiled and got up from her desk. "You must be Chase! She told us you were coming! Said you'd be the tall surfer guy with the chocolate brown eyes. Follow me." The nurse smiled before walking down the hall with Chase on her heels. She got to a door and knocked lightly before opening it. "Hey y/n! Surfer boy is here!" The nurse giggled as Chase walked through the door and the nurse closed it behind him. You were laying in the hospital bed with leads attached to your chest and stomach. You also had an iv in her arm and a couple stickers with wires on her head. Upon seeing Chase, you total lost all your composure and started sobbing. Chase rushed over to your side and gently hugged you close. "It's OK baby. I'm here. I've got you." Chase cooed as tears started to run down his face. You scooted over on the bed making room for Chase to lay down. He carefully made sure all the leads were out of the way and nothing was being pulled before tucking you into his chest. " It was so scary! I didn't know what was happening or why." You sniffed as you snuggled into his chest. "Shhhh. It's OK now. It's over. You're here now ad we will figure out what happened and why. Just relax baby." Chase cooed as he rubbed your back. A soft knock made you jump in your sleepy state. Chase said come in before kissing the top of your head, noticing the jolt of your body at the sudden noise. Rudy entered the room with Chase's backpack on his shoulder. "Hey y/n. How you feeling, sweetheart?" Rudy asked in a soft voice as he crouches down next to the bed. "I'm exhausted and confused as to what happened but I feel ok. Thank you for making sure Ace got here OK. I really appreciate it." You said while reaching out to grab Rudy's hand. "No problem at all! JD is coming to pick me up so Chase's car is here." Rudy explained before putting Chase's backpack down. "I thought you might want your bag." Rudy nods to Chase as he stands up. "Thanks man. I owe you one." Chase bumped his fist to Rudy's. "No you don't! You would have done the same for me. You rest up OK y/n? Don't let this guys puppy energy keep you up." Rudy said pointing between the two of you, which made you let out a small chuckle. "He smells like the ocean and is warm. I think I'll have no trouble falling asleep." You mumbles as you snuggles into Chase's chest again. Chase smirks ,holding you close. Rudy's phone dings and he waves good bye so he doesn't disturb the half asleep girl on Chase's chest.

You awoke from your nap to Chase still at your side. You smile up at him. "Sorry I fell asleep on you. You didn't have to stay." Chase opened his eyes lazily, drawing shapes on your arm with his finger. "No way am I leaving you baby. But since you're awake now. I really need to pee." Chase chuckled as he slowly scooted off the bed and walked to the bathroom on the other side of the room. You turned on the TV and sat up a little, looking at the screens and wires all around you. Chase came out of the bathroom, tossing a paper towel into the trash bin, before grabbing his bag from next to the bed. He pulled out his charger and plugged your phone in before putting it down on the table next to you.As he placed the bag down and sat next to you on the bed, a nurse knocked and entered the room. "Hey you two! I have extra sheets and blankets for you! This chair fold out into a lounger so you both don't have to smush together all night." The nurse explained as she sat the extra blankets and linen on the chair. "Thank you so much!" Chase beamed as the nurse came over to your bed side to check all your vitals. "Is there anything I should look for overnight?" Chase asked the nurse."Well if she has any convulsions or gets sick, press this call button." The nurse said pointing to the red button on the wall. "Other than that, if anything has you worried press the button and we will come make sure everything is OK." The nurse smiled as she finished getting your blood pressure and typed the vitals into her laptop before leaving the room. Chase got up from his seat on the bed and opened up the lounger chair, putting on the different sheets ad blankets. "You know, you don't have to sleep here just because I was admitted." You smile watching his basically throw blankets round until he was satisfied. He came and laid down next to you again before pecking your lips. "I told you ,baby. I'm here with you for everything. We'll figure this out together." Chase cooed as he pulled you closer and watched SpongeBob with you on his chest, running his ringers through your hair. "I love you, Ace." You said before kissing his hand. "I love you more,Baby girl."

*photo cred to pintrest*

Taglist:

@afterglowsb-tch13 @cherryobx @sunwardsss @yourlocalauthor @starkeymarkey @k-k0129 @royalpogue @ilovejjmaybank @beatement-l @miniatureauthorpartyspy @bxmaaa @allielozoya @shawnsthighs @i-love-scott-mccall @lilbabyharrys @dannii-li

Comment tag list on any of my writing to be added❤️