#ill get through it
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It's only been a year, but you have grown so much.
#homestuck#doodle#jade harley#got jumpscared by a calware reblog of onld art#so have this NEW jade while i boil in my art block#idk i tried to do this as kind of vent art?#been feeling like mush for quite somd time now#ill get through it
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Yesterday I've been hit 🤛🤛 with an idea for a scene where Renegade Dick does something wrong, like a really big really serious mistake and Slade obviously needs/wants to punish him for it.
The scene is basically Dick being scared shitless, just begging and pleading for his master to have mercy while Slade drags him off to a cell
It would be fun to write, it would be some sort of writing practice too BUT I DONT HAVE TIME TO WRITE IT
#i have so much on my shoulders this week#im going to fucking cry at one point#ill get through it#ill be fine#i just need to bitch and maybe cry just a bit#seriously dont mind me#ill get my shit done by next week#and then!!! I'll write it#I'll be very happy about it#and THEN I'll start on treats for the exchange#yeah#thats the plan#we can do it let's fucking go
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Huffs…chapter…3…huffs…(i say as if im written a lot) (send help)
#writing#fantasyau#ME WHEN I MAKE MYSELF SIT DOWN A WTITE#huffs#writingstruggles#bkdkhasmeinachokehold#i need bkdk…to…do…yaoi cocaine…#ignore that last one im loosing it#omg…#mha#ill get through it#ao3
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This penguin is the best representation I have to how stress hits me.
#dysthymia#stress#penguin#gif#helps#so much#i wish i could abandon society and be penguin#ill get through it
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I hate when drawing feels like im fighting for my life like i have a degree in this and im still like aough how do faces work again
#struggling with... everything#its just cause i havent drawn in forever and i want it to look GOOD#but im getting back into it#i need to just. RELAX#and draw as much as possible#struggling esp with eyes atm i think i just keep making them too long/too one dimensional#when i try and mix it up#ill get through it
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Sometimes I just feel really sad and empty and broken and angry
So fucking angry
I wanna change the world and I wanna change the past but one of those things is impossible and sometimes I'm certain the other one is too.
Things are better, things are good, so why do I feel so afraid and depressed? Why do I want to cry and cry and cry and never stop? I hate that I can't exactly figure it out. I hate that depression and anxiety make you feel like a dumbass with feelings that make no sense.
#mental health stuff#mental illness#depression#anxiety#healing isnt linear#one step forward two steps back#ill get through it
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Having one of those 'everyone is mad at me' even tho I know that no one is Actually mad at me
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Just went a day without extreme knee pain
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i literally just redownloaded tumblr after years of not using it and it feels like im the main character of a tv series exploring their old traumatic but still pretty nostalgic home town with their friends who've never been there before
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Geuss who scheduled a meeting I need to go to at the same time I have a class :)
#....meeee.....#I just realized TODAY that it was at the same time as a class#cuz in my head last week i was like: 'oh yeah! thats the day i dont have class at that time!'#...and it wasnt.....#and I realized it TODAY#and all the other slots are filled out so im just gonna ditch the class midway#also sucks that its on the other side of campus :/#whatever#ill get through it#not the end of the world#its not like highschool where i think a teacher or something is gonna kill me for not being in class#its just one time#space text
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learning to love
#they make me so fucking unwell i feel so ill whenever i think about them#it's OVER for me i'm done#teen skk is going on my fucking suicide note thanks for everything asagiri#something something your bloodied hand in mind something something by you i am forever undone#something something to the world we may be villains but to each other we're two halves of the same soul#head in my fucking hands#sry for getting all emo i rewatched pmmm yesterday and i've been feeling existential about everything#i actually listened to the pmmm ost while drawing it saved me i love you yuki kajiura😍 (i died)#nothing like a haunting latin chorus echoing through my empty head while i draw tragic yaoi 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#big shoutout to sis puella magica i had that one on loop for like two hours‼️#anyway enough about the doomed yuri anime back to skk#forget everything i said i actually hope they explode i'm sick of their asses#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#soukoku#skk#posting at ungodly hours again this is gonna catch up to me 💔#lotus draws
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last friday night
#gravity falls#bill cipher#stanford pines#billford#sorry ive been making a lot of dumb sex jokes. no i will not stop.#i just had to get this one out of my head#halfway through coloring this i had to erase it all because i realized that would mean uncomfortably coloring shirtless men.#maybe ill edit this and add fords sweater because truly idk if this is too suggestive for a minor to make LMAO
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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i listen to fog lake too much
#falls through the ceiling with a mighty crash hello#it's been what...8 months?#I was too busy w uni and being mentally ill#thank u everyone so much for the tags on all prev posts.. i re-read them oaccasionally 💗#they make me v happy thank u for giving me a moment of ur time#that means so much#anyway! vashwood!!#i hate them so much#i want to eat them#i want to ugly cry#i want an ideal world where they could've had something for a little bit#im eating drywall and pacing around the room in a cold sweat#so trimax-atypical overt intimacy it is#more coming...in maybe another year#It's a big project!#to me. yeah#my dream is to be put in a terrarium for a while#if only u knew how many wips I have w vashwood..#maybe i'll get tired and pile them into one post all unfinished and no less ok for it yk#whatever u r doing doesn't need to be perfect to make someone happy#didn't u experience a positive little zap from my imperfect colored doodle rn?#what a speedrun of a drawing that was#(<spent 10h on it. that's the minimum for anything ever)#hope today is treating you well! so long stranger!#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trimax#trigun#tzarrz
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every so often i have to relearn how to draw yuuji or he starts fighting me
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuuji#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#i love drawing sukuna as the teeniest tiniest eye on yuuji's face n using it as an excuse 2 use his tag <3 ths his Rent#anyway he fought a bit at first but would u believe it i got yuuji 2 cooperate fr a draws pls clap#maybe it's just when hes in a piece with megumi that he gets an attitude??? whatever th case im happy w all of these thank god#beef w yuuji Settled fr now . until he inevitably decides 2 fight me again sighs#in the meantime !!! had SO much fun drawing his new scars#happy 2 report tht ive fully come around on yuuji 1eye itadori i wasnt sure at first but now i love it fr him#i love the texture of it i love splitting his eyebrow n drawing the scar tissue up Through the remaining hair....#i love him looking like he's winking i love drawing the lil X on his chibi#its GOOD#i dont think ill give him a fake eye very often if at all but it was fun putting him in tokyo ghoul cosplay fr this#o ya speaking of his Accessories the slippers started out as tigers also but then i wanted them bunnies and i saw an opportunity#so now miku is haunting this draws and my yuuji owns a pair of deco27 rabbit hole slippers#now that i rly look at it that whole fit is such a look actually im crying#we got beef shirt...#@ me @ sukuna @ the fact tht yuuji is Jacked#10/10 triple entendre 10/10 would wear
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Zayne goes back to work the day after his birthday and everyone takes note of the pep he has in his step. The usually stern, down-to-business doctor has been grinning ear to ear since he stepped through the door, and all the patients, doctors, and nurses can't help but notice how vibrant he is. Zayne is positively beaming- his grim aura nonexistent through the brilliance he is currently exhibiting
Most people are confused by this sudden and aggressive shift in his demeanor, but chock it up to Zayne just being in a particularly nice mood after his trip. Whatever happened on his leave must have been truly wonderful for the doctor, and that happiness was contagious. The residents of the hospital can't help but be pleased that Asko's pride and joy finally seemed to get a moment of blissful respite.
Only Greyson and Yvonne exchange knowing looks, understanding the truth of the situation immediately. Hit with the realization of just how good his mini-vacation was (and how most of that was thanks to you), they can't help but tease their friend a bit, taking turns asking prodding questions, snickering when the only response he provides is clearing his throat and demanding they get back to work.
However it's up to Yvonne to break the news to Zayne, as it became apparent that while Greyson noticed it as well, he was too flustered by seeing it to say anything. Zayne probably thought he was being safe wearing that turtleneck under his lab coat, despite the fact that it was still far too hot aside for such attire. Unluckily for him the signs of your affection would not be so easily contained, and the large red and purple splotch the crept past the hem of his collar was not something that could be played off as a simple wound-the teeth marks made sure of that.
She had never seen Zayne turn quite so red as the moment she pulled him aside and told him, and for a moment she felt almost bad for telling him, wondering if maybe she should have let him figure it out on his own to save him from the awkwardness. However when she looked back on the man as she was departing, watching as he gingerly touched your mark, a roguish smile dancing on his lips as it no doubt made him reminisce about the moment he received it from you, that she realized his blush was not from embarrassment alone.
#its late but i finally read through Zayne's 5 star bday card story today and AHHHHHHHHH#I love him#also dont come for me I spent a lot of today working on the final chap of Taijus story#I get a lil bit of Zayne now as a treat lul#I churned this out so sorry if its bleh its like 1am my brain is a noodle rn#zayne x reader#zayne love and deepspace#lads zayne#zayne x mc#zayne x you#zayne x y/n#zayne lads#zayne lads x reader#zayne lads x y/n#zayne lads x you#zayne lads x mc#lads x reader#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#love and deepspace x y/n#I am so desperately in love with this man it makes me ill#mothwingswritings
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