#ME WHEN I MAKE MYSELF SIT DOWN A WTITE

[winterwebz]

Huffs…chapter…3…huffs…(i say as if im written a lot) (send help)

[minheeskitten]

"2k is long" is also nonsense i'm so sorry 😭 2k is barely anything if you're trying to introduce an AU and actually flesh in a setting and especially if you're trying to show different personality traits 😭 your fic are mostly AUs with really well thought out lore, and it needs the word count to breathe and establish everything. if someone's attention span is too short to read more than - what - 2 pages? that's their problem, not yours! fwiw, my fic lengths range with the shortest starting at around 5k and the longest getting close to 30k and i have never had anyone leave a complaint about the length! people are more than willing to sit through 10k+ just to get to the smutty stuff, and they usually end up enjoying the rest of the fic as well. do not worry about it! you're doing just fine 🩷

I don't often look at the length of a fic unless im updating someone on how long its getting. My shortest wip is 100 words. And. Ive posted it to here bcs i feel it'll never be finished.

If it does get finished eventually then i will post it as a fic but. Until then it sits in my drafts.

My fics almost always include worldbuilding to at least 3k now. Though not all of them were like that.

Do you want in on a secret? I don't think out the world for my aus. It fleshes itself out. I think on what may happen n go from there. The story writes itself. I am just a vessel for the words and visions.

I am absolutely terrible at worldbuilding if im doing it consciously.

Its why i have visible headcanons for idols. But i just can't put them into words haha.

The most i think through is 'what sort of details would enhance this and make it better to read'

And then thats where i go from!

Siren!ivan was originally supposed to be more non-con than it is rn. The consent is not proper consent tho but thats bcs. Well. Siren wants what he wants and he will convince dann to give it to him.

Though. Thats a little bit of a spoiler. It is going to be tagged accordingly. Don't worry ill tag fics right.

The fic i thought through the most, probably is one ive not even started wtiting. The dissection fic. I gotta do all sorts of research so i can make sure its accurate and well done.

Which unfortunately means i gotta look at anatomy from a more medical standpoint. Need to go find a book for that..

The first fic i put out actually has a very strong plot hole. That i told myself id patch before posting it but. I didn't.

That plot hole was the reasoning as to why ivan was doing that to hwon. It has a very weak reason and i could absolutely fix it now. But. Not this year.

I write ab 5k minimum most of the time haha. I prefer letting the story fill itself out n then helping fine tune details. Its why i really can't tell you how long a fic may be.

So far my longest fic is 16k words. Published. Theres more unpublished. That's for the abandoned but not orphaned one.

I may return to it eventually. That's why i didn't wanna orphan it.

All of my fics stop at a point they organically would have stopped at. When i feel it can't really take another scene. I end it. That usually leaves spaces for part twos to them as well!

But i like exploring aus as i write them.

Fun fact! I write aus bcs im worried that if i do anything else i may accidentally copy someone else's idea.

I do get inspired by the other kd writers. Oh gods do i get inspired.

Lee, lunar, eve, even erin, who encourages the hwonicide. They all inspire me in their own ways. Does that usually come in the form of a prompt to note down asap? Yeah.

But other ways are helping with details for fics. And they are all very welcome to chat ab fics w me. I don't steal ideas. Not without permission and changing it to be my own.

I have a prompt that is inspired by eve's fic Clear My Mind (eve is karmacumover btw!)

But it is different. I may show her the prompt itself if she wants to see it haha.

But i love working on fics. Even if I can't be proud of them as a 'look i made this!' i can still look at the work and go 'yeah. Thats good.'

Thank you lee for helping me figure out how to do that. It was amazing to be able to step back and go 'thats a good story' if i removed myself from it.

The lee im referring to here is intenselysalmon. So she knows who im referring to.

One day. One day my goal is to be proud of how much I've written. Of what I've written.

Its a goal i think is far away. But the more i talk to other writers. The more i realize.

Im not as bad at writing as i think i am.

Honestly id never even considered myself a good writer, until i asked writers like lee and erin their feedback on my works. And they both said i write well. Maybe a little dialogue heavy but. Thats fine i can work on it.

Im doing my best. And im trying to ensure i continue getting better.

The more i talk to other writers and see how they talk ab my writing. The more i go. 'maybe im too harsh on myself' but. As they say, you are your own worst critic.

Honestly i never even considered my work good enough to do much with. But. Lunar still offered to possibly do a collab or fic trade. And i keep thinking on it. Maybe.

It makes me think they find me a better writer than i find myself to be.

Then i see eve, reacting to some of the xlips of airen!ivan ive put out. And she's reacting as i would for any of lee's clips. I find lee an amazing writer. It seems eve thinks of me that way too.

Im trying to wrap my head around it. But the reason i am so harsh on myself is. Anxiety and self doubt. And i need to work through them.

Thats the first time ive admitted that.

I will work through my weaknesses, and be better than before. Slowly. It takes time. I have to be patient.

One day. One day i will be able to proudly say 'im a good writer'

Its not today. But. It will be an eventuality.

Moots mentioned in this post:

Lee (@intenselysalmon )

Erin (@kurenaiwataru )

Eve (@karmacumover )

Lunar (@kingdoms-babygirl )

[tallkfandomtome]

Originally posted on previous reblog and then edited out bc I feel like I should have it on my own profile.

10 years ago or so (just turned 30 in sept), I've found a fic in a word doc, nameless. When I read it it was super familiar, and I could've easly forgotten I wrote it. Still, I "corrected some errors" posted it on ffnet, and said in the descrption: I found this on my docs. If its anyones, let me know. I love your wtiting. Or something of the sort. (Already mistake n°1) That was uploaded for like a year. Then I figured after no one recclamied it that was actually something I wrote. Like a dumbass I deleted that description and lo and behold, someone came 1) saying a was a a son of a bitch for stealing someone's work and 2) the actual author.

Ofc I was super embarrased and ashamed. I profusely apologized, took the fic down inmediatly and apologized again. I also made a statement in my bio and said everything that happened, apologizing again.

I think about this still bc I still feel bad. As an actual writer myself, something like this happeining to me would wreck me. The autor was super nice and I truly hope they've forgiven me for it.

They said something, I remember, that really hurt me even, lol, and that is "check if some other of your works are not someone else's and you upload them by mistake as well".

Gosh. It felt awfwl. Bc ofc they would make that assumption. That was the only and last time I would ever do that, but they had no real way of knowing that.. it still stings a bit.

After that ofc I never saved anymore fics in random word docs. But what I'm trying to say is that what JS and these other "creators" do is very different from these stupid, shitty mistakes that can still happen. We are small creators. I never was nor am a famous fic write,nor want to ever be tbh. I write bc i cant help it. Bc even with everything, i love it. I put a lot of effort and time into it (when i'm able to sit down and do it, i mean). Thats why I still feel like shit. Thats why i'm saying all this. This is something that i did and if i could, I would still be apologizing to the author.

JS and the others... dont. They dont care. They feel as if all this is an attack TO them. Its insane and horrible. They have no remorse for these other creators without a popular platform like theirs, who's works they're citing verbatim. That its truly mean and intentional.

If the author reads this by chance, I'm sorry. Hope you're still writing. ♡♡