#ill be posting an update every weekend

[inkubuzzz]

WIP Weekend (9/14-9/15)

What Am I Working On? (Works with progress in the last few days only)

1: Untitled, dragon!MBJx adventurer SQH

Summary: Shang Qinghua is part of the Cang Qiong Adventurer's Guild. He has been sent on a mission to investigate a mountain where there have been supposed dragon sightings recently. Things go wrong, and Shang Qinghua has to find shelter from a blizzard in a random cave. In that cave, he just so happens to find the dragon he was looking for.

Favorite part (so far):

"Of course, Shen Qingqiu had been the one to suggest Shang Qinghua go. Why couldn’t Shen Qingqiu go? He was too busy with his werewolf husband!! Apparently, the full moon was coming up and his husband needed his full attention. He used the excuse that Luo Binghe would go on a rampage if Shen Qingqiu didn’t tend to him, but Shang Qinghua was fairly certain that was just an excuse to get some time off with his husband. So that left Shang Qinghua to go look for a dragon in this icy wasteland!"

Word count (so far): 1447

2: Untitled, exploration of MBJ's teleportation ability

Summary: Mobei Jun's teleportation ability relies on his ability to control shadows. It's an ability unique to him, and he has always kept it to himself. However, he finds himself wanting to share it with Shang Qinqhua.

Favorite part (so far):

"The shadows had always listened to Mobei Jun. He could call upon them and travel through them as easily as he could ice. Even amongst his kin, this ability had always been unique to him. Even Luo Binghe, the only other demon Mobei Jun had ever met who could teleport, relied on his ridiculous sword in order to do so. The shadows were something for Mobei Jun alone.

But now, he wished to share them with someone for the first time. With Shang Qinghua."

Word count (so far): 253

3: Untitled, Witch!SQH x Familiar!MBJ

Summary: Shang Qinghua should have summoned a familiar years ago. Everyone has been pestering him as to why he hasn't yet. Finally, he gets sick of all the questioning, so he decided to summon a familiar. He expects something simple, like a rodent or maybe a cat if he's lucky. But what's this??? He managed to summon a demon lord?? And the demon lord agreed to be his familiar?!

Favorite part (so far):

"Shang Qinghua looked down at his spell book for what seemed like the millionth time. He was certain he hadn't fucked up the spell. There was absolutely no way. It was perfect down to a T. So…

Why the fuck was there a demon king in his room???"

Word count (so far): 328

[littlepuffy4ever]

Drawing bird AM a lot bc of my comic and I genuinely love to draw him and how he looks

He's so silly (even though he has committed every war crimes but that's okay, he's a silly bird)

[veronicaphoenix]

writing updates ✨

I'm aware I haven't posted anything besides a short one shot in the last few weeks. I've been busy writing my MA's thesis which is due in a couple of weeks, and trying to cope with the chaos that is summer.

I'm just popping by to leave unedited short snippets for both The Unmaking of a Warrior, and the next chapter of Zutto 😇

The Unmaking of a Warrior — Epilogue Pt. 1

I couldn't stop thinking about it since that moment. The realization lingered in my mind, and throughout the day, it haunted me like a secret I was too embarrassed to admit—even to myself.

I wanted to be a mother. I wanted Noah and I to become parents, to bring a life into this world that was a part of both of us. I imagined a little one, a perfect blend of Noah and me, running through the gardens, learning to wield a bow or defend himself with a sword, just like his father.

At lunch, a swarm of butterflies fluttered wildly in my stomach, their wings beating in rhythm with the thought of Noah getting me pregnant. My hands trembled slightly as I held my chopsticks, moving them aimlessly across my plate.

"You’re very quiet today," Noah observed, his voice soft yet curious.

I glanced up at him, caught off guard. His eyes, filled with a mix of curiosity and amusement, met mine. The faintest smile played at the corner of his lips, as if he knew I was hiding something.

"What’s going on in that little head of yours?" he teased gently.

"Nothing special," I replied quickly, lowering my gaze to my plate.

"Nothing special?" he repeated, not convinced by my response.

"No, nothing," I insisted, shaking my head, hoping to divert the conversation. But Noah wasn’t so easily deterred.

"This wouldn’t have anything to do with your reaction when you saw Lila in my arms, would it?" he asked, his voice laced with a knowing tone.

I felt my cheeks flush. "What? No, of course not."

"Are you sure you’re not having any thoughts about… us?" He leaned across the table, lowering his voice to a whisper, "About me… emptying myself inside of you?"

"Noah!" I hissed, glancing around quickly to ensure no one could hear. My face grew even warmer, and I looked away, mortified.

Zutto — Chapter Six

Lia brushed aside a lock of Noah's hair that threatened to fall over his eyes, and a memory from her teenage years suddenly flooded back. It was one of those weekends when Cristina had abandoned her, leaving her to spend the night at Noah's house. Back then, Noah slept like a log. At seventeen, his passion for music already coursed through his veins relentlessly, and many nights were spent working until he realized he should probably get some sleep and try to be a normal person. The nights he spent with Lia were no different—they would stay up late watching movies or talking. That particular night, she had fallen asleep before him but woke up earlier, giving her the chance to touch his hair while he slept, lightly snoring.

It felt surreal that, eleven years later, the same scene was playing out. Lia was certain he had the same expression, the same features. He still looked like a child, lost in his dreams. She was determined to protect him at all costs, just as he had done for her. It was the least she could do, beyond giving him her love.

Now, as adults, naked, their bodies were pressed together. Noah's chest rose as Lia made a futile attempt to tuck the lock of hair behind his ear. He stirred on the bed, and two more strands of hair joined the one Lia had tried to brush off his forehead, falling over his eyes and causing him to blink.

As soon as he saw Lia's wide eyes looking up at him and that smile that always cured his every ill, he couldn't help but smile back. He was fucking happy to wake up next to the girl he loved, especially with her naked under the sheets.

"Good morning," he murmured.

"Morning," she replied, trying to ignore the tingling sensation at the tips of her toes and the warmth spreading between her legs at the sound of Noah's sleepy, gravelly voice. His eyes, with their distinctly Asian features, looked beautiful in the morning—smaller, like two thin slits.

"You look wide awake. How long have you been staring at me?" he asked. His playful arrogance hinted at a self-assuredness that Lia was all too familiar with.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You've got some nerve," she shot back, equally accustomed to his confident, slightly egotistical humor.

With a burst of energy, he grabbed Lia by the waist and tried to tickle her. She rolled onto her side, giggling, until they were chest to chest, both lying sideways on the bed.

"No more than ten minutes," Lia replied, calming herself as she saw his brown eyes twinkle. "How did you sleep?"

[boozybellybabe]

This is my pinned post, please (please!) read before dmming me!

I respond to most DMs as long as they're respectful. I like to chat about my kinks and tell hot drunken anecdotes and experiences. I love answering every kind of questions so send me lots of asks

please tho, when dmming me try to come up with something better than saying "hey" or "how are you" once or twice every day. I'm not looking for a daily interaction with people i dont know and it only makes me lose my interest

she/her, I'm 22 yo and 5'7 ish (i'm a tall girl!), european. Yes the pic is me but that's probably the only one you will see. Just know that I have red hair, and red is my favorite color.

More about me:

I'm european, currently working and sharing an appartment. I've always been into alcohol intox even before I knew what was it, but I didn't dare engage much to it. During summer (2024) I indulged heavily with friends from a non-kink point of view, and now I'm exploring it to its fullest. One of the consequences of drinking as hard as im drinking is growing a gut on a very skinny frame, which a lot of you seem to love.

My fav drinks include:

any kind of beer

wine, specially white (i prefer red wine mixed with coke)

jager + apple juice

vodka with anything, or neat

shots of any kind

I drink most days at least a couple beers, and get blackout drunk most weekends

things im into:

alcohol intox, praise, degradation, belly fetish, corruption, hangovers, drunk in public, slurring, lose of control, stumbling, humilliation, teasing

things im not into:

cnc, ageplay, scat

things i can be talked into

belly weight gain, burping, forced intox... maybe piss and vomit depending on the context?

Some non-kink interests of mine:

books, animal crossing, stardew, coffee, gym, cooking (im a really good cook)

FAQ (ill update it eventually)

•.¸♡ CURRENTLY ON A SOBRIETY BREAK ♡¸.•

[macybeckham7]

maybe something that yours and Lewis youngest child wound up getting a really bad fever that got so serious you had to take her to the hospital. Lewis is very worried as you keep him updated and soon as the race was over, he quickly left to go to the hospital. His dad and Nicolas looking after your other two kids, who are also worried and many folks from Merc are also worried too. Thankfully your kid pulled through.

You could tell that something was wrong when you were travelling, she just wasn’t herself. It wasn’t until later in the hotel room, you noticed how much she was burning up. ‘Have the kids in your bed tonight and I’ll stay with her’ you tell him. She cried as she wanted to sleep with daddy too but you couldn’t afford for him to be ill over the weekend, you stripped her out of her clothes which says she doesn’t want because she was cold, you dosed her up with medicine in hope she would fight it off in the night. You were up every few hours, either cleaning up after she threw up or simply watching her as she slept. ‘Are you ok?’ Lewis says as you wake him up. ‘I’m getting nervous, I think a trip to the hospital would be good’ he automatically sits up. ‘I’ll keep you posted, but go out there and race’ you say kissing him. ‘I’ll leave my phone with Bono, please keep me updated’ he says kissing you. He gets out of bed and kisses the little one and telling her how much he loves her. You scoop her up and then slip out of the hotel room. Nicholas and Anthony look after the older two, who were both nervous for their younger sibling. All of the Mercedes team all look at Bono to get some updates on the younger Hamilton. ‘Updates on YDN’ Bono radios in. ‘Her temperature is going down, the medication is fighting the fever and her hydration levels are good. She tells daddy it’s Hammer time now’. Lewis breath gets caught in his throat as he thanks the Gods that his little one is ok. ‘Well you heard her’ Lewis says. After the race, Lewis and the kids meet you at the hospital, he places her trophy on the side before climbing into bed and hugging her.

[soaps-mohawk]

hi sorry if it feels like i’m pressuring you, but will there be a new chapter of cherry red, crimson blood anytime soon? i’m in love with it and i check your blog everyday

I'll tentatively say yes, there may be a new chapter coming tomorrow.

I originally wanted to finish a new chapter like every couple days but...they're long chapters and unfortunately, though I am unemployed currently, I still have things I have to do during the day.

I'd say realistically my goal is two chapters a week between appointments and other things. I've got a decent part of the next chapter done, and I was hoping to get it out today but unfortunately I spent the ungodly hours between 1:30 am and 5 am this morning violently ill, so my attention span today has not been great. 😬

That being said, after my appointment tomorrow, I'm planning on working on it for a bit, and hopefully I'll get it done and posted. If not, it will be out Friday by the latest.

There may be a bit of a delay on chapter 4 as it is quite the beefy chapter, and I'm planning another playthrough this weekend because I am constantly terrified about my characterization of the guys and I want to be sure that I really nail each of them.

So tl;dr - new chapter maybe coming tomorrow, and probably twice a week update schedule from this point on 💚

[annikin-annotates]

Hi y'all, quick little update from me. I will be on hiatus from now till the foreseeable future, which shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who visits my cobweb infested blog.

My health hasn't been too hot as of recently so dealing with the weight of being alive as a person with a chronic illness. And my University semester starting up three weeks ago has really taken it out of me. I really want to focus on Uni as I'm on my third year and am looking to apply for my honours.

I just haven't been able to find the time to write and create in the way I'm used to, don't get me wrong I want to create and continue posting my fics. But its just a little tough right now. So much love and thought goes into every thing I do, and not being able to give it my full attention really sucks.

So I'm hoping that in June when my semester is over I'll be able to post a few things during the holidays. But until then I'll release the next chapter of Family Ties in the coming weekend then that will be all.

If you want to contact me or keep up with me, follow my main blog; annikin-im-panicin!

See you all in June,

Love Anni xx

[prestonmonterey]

TLT UPDATE!! BEFORE I GO TO BED

(gods im so tired...)

@vincentaureliuslin @tatsumisheep3

no photos today so heres my cat :P

OPENING NIGHT!!! it went super well!!!!! (i think)

it was PA night so the understudys were percy and annabeth and they killed it!!!!!! :DDDD

also my director gave me a compliment today so im in a good mood (it was somethin along the lines of "you finally did a good job as cerberus" but ill take what i can get...) (i still have beef with him but.. whatever....)

its crazy how fast this show is going and that itll all be over after sunday,, but also i am SO tired bc we literally spend more time at school than at home this week :(

also getting a lotta acne bc im not used to wearing this much make up every day :P

but hey at least ill get to rest a teeny bit on the weekend (just in the morning TwT bc we have matinees)

also my parents and some of my friends are comin tomorrow so they BETTER FUCKIN BUY ME CANDY (i really really really want candygrams... one of the stage managers got like 4 boxes of candy i am so jealous...)

also also also we did the legacy robe last night before preview night and my friend (and mother /ij) got it :DDDD very happy for her

um um um i felt like i had more to say but idk this is already a lot and i cant remember things im kinda tired :P

oh i finally got my camper necklace!!! the beads were missing for like a week but they were just on the table in the costuming room... anyway my friend made it for me during tech class bc shes so so sooo sweet <3 (while i was in math trying to force my friend to study... *stares at neeks* /aff) i got four beads that kinda almost make the ace flag!! (black for tech, silver for the fall play, light blue for this show, and purple for my grade)

idk if i explained it before but all of our necklaces represent how much theater we've done,,, bc its kinda like how long we've been at camp. theres a bead for each grade based on our class colors, and the tlt bead, so everyone gets at least 2. theres also beads for each of the past musicals and plays at school, and a black bead if youve done tech, and a white bead if youve done leadership :D some of the seniors have like most of their necklace filled because of how many shows theyve done

heres another cat pic to keep you engaged and reading this /hj

also also also many many thanks to my wonderful actor and tech friends i would not survive without them (especially thanks to tech bc they have to put up with us actors... /hj) its poseidon's actors first show i think and they have a LOT of quick changes so their section of the rack is,,, kind of a mess. also the lamp for the oracle scene has broken multiple times i think already... and i already left my make up bag out yesterday and my watch in the cubbies today TwT we are a hot mess

my graphic design teacher was acting today :D (the farmer in drive is a teacher role, and they switch out every night) and i love him being so absolutely perplexed by the energy circle before show :333

also i remembered to put setting powder on for the first time,,, and... i forgot that my mom is SO much paler than me TwT (i was very washed out...) so ill probably stick to spray for the rest of the week :P

sorry i really am rambling tonight...

ok i will probably hopefully do at least one more update after strike on sunday!! (depending on how tired i am,, i might just curl up on the floor and sleep after the sunday show actually...) unless something goes horribly wrong,,, then ill probably post about it too

good night!! i need to collapse in bed and try to save up enough energy for tomorrows show :3

have a wonderful day/night and remember to hydrate! (or you'll die straight...)

[nicegaai]

its like one kudo a day lately omgggggggg

the algorhythm... i sense shes trying to tell me something............ smthin like *do u wear wigs voice* Do you write update...Where is the update. Will you update. When will you post update

idk man hopefully soon. i miss my boys (SO MUCH U DONT EVEN KNOWWWWW) im just sooo busyyyyyyyyyyy 💀 every week i say "maybe this weekend" and then i DONTTT. HELPPPPPP. someone hold me at gunpoint pls

on fanfic - im frankly still horrified anyone sees the words i post but its been like a year im maybe a little less scared of comments and such. kudo emails arent sending me into Episodes anymore which is nice. but tbh i still dont like being seen i feel like an angry little hedgehog or maybe an armadillo curled into a ball.......... ur allowed to read BUT dont tell me u did and NO critique please. GOODBYE. (<- sign of a weak artist)...... but also if u want to talk i love u so much id love 2 talk.. however they call me the interaction fumblerrrrrrrr. and im legitimately scared of u also. sorry for existing and posting and w/e. im gonna keep doin it tho. and im gonna finish the longfic i will i will i will ill even infodump the whole plot if anyone would listen . and maybe ill write too. maybe this weekend 💀

[sysmedsaresexist]

So

Here's the deal.

I have officially resigned from SN.

Here's my message.

@Moderator I am giving SN my resignation.

You've got until the weekend to figure out a public reply before I go ham.

This isn't about me, it's about my frustration over defending all of you.

I actually haven't been directly named yet. I could literally walk away unscathed, but my heart hurts so much and I am filled with so many emotions that I feel like I'm going to burst. I am internally imploding.

Keeping quiet has made me physically ill, I have lost twenty pounds, I have ongoing shingles from stress (the stress being unable to deal with strong emotions with no outlet), I am feeling ashamed of myself, who I am, how I handle things. I am full of guilt and self hatred over my feelings. Why can't I just be like you guys? Why can't I just let it wash over me and move on and ignore it?

I question everything I post and say now.

I am once again a child being told that everything I feel is wrong, that I'm wrong.

I'm not blaming any of you for that, but my mental health is falling apart.

Part of my healing was embracing my anger and not being ashamed of my feelings, and venting them honestly and openly.

I'm fifty feet back in my journey, and back to hiding and killing my thoughts and emotions.

I haven't switched since April because I'm so scared to let anyone else out that I can't control.

I'm not like you guys, I can't let this continue.

I love you all, so much.

Everything works out in the end, even if it's not how you expected.

Good luck, see you all on the other side.

Bois

I can't wait to make these people look like the fools they are

I can't wait to point out everything about all of this drama

I can't wait to show Sophie how fucking off the mark she is about all these accusations

I can't wait to drop screenshots of the two members that are complaining (yes, because there's only two, out of OVER 300 members) acting like absolute CHILDREN

I can't wait to state the real stances of mods on some of these topics so we can clear the air

To the members:

I am so happy to have met all of you, the community YOU all created is amazing, and I'm grateful and so honoured to have been a part of it. I have never met a group of kinder, more understanding people in my life, and I hope each and every one of you achieves your goals ❤️

I know a lot of you are going to ask why, wondering what I'm doing, but what are we supposed to do? What do they want from us? What's going to make it stop? None of you deserve this, and someone needs to point that out.

Let's cover the big ones

Was SN involved in the banning of Sophie? No. The server only opened that same day.

Was SN involved in the second banning of Sophie? No. That was only two days later, we still weren't fully open.

The few members in the server show complete confusion over her banning, and rules were added that first day that those involved in harassment or false reporting would be banned.

Was SN involved in the banning of eeveecraft? This one is actually hilarious because you'll see that no one knew who the hell eeveecraft was. It's genuinely hilarious the number of, "who?" Like, wow, you're really not that important.

The Sophie bot: it was a handful of uwus and a joke about balloon popping, THAT'S IT, I am LITERALLY looking at the members being upset over one of Sophie's posts at the time, members venting hurt and fear and upset, extreme frustration, struggling with feelings of powerlessness, and someone made a joke, and I'm looking at apologies and rule updates FROM BEFORE SOPHIE EVEN KNEW ABOUT IT

One user made a post and mistakenly or accidently implied it was still happening, but they weren't even in the server at the time it happened. It was not months of rping and harassment. I am still pissed about that post.

It was one person, one night, get over yourself

While watching the SN mods live rent free in Sophie's head was funny, it's just annoying now. Sorry one of the members did something dumb. Can we have apologies for all the baseless accusations you've slung our way, and the ACTUAL months of harassment?

SN harbouring a pedo?! Mods were very open and honest with members during the event. Multiple announcements were made as we investigated. We spoke with members about their comfort. In the end, the accusations were unfounded, confirmed to be false by the alleged victims themselves. We did our due diligence and we supported our members. There are zero safety concerns.

Their real name?! It wasn't their deadname, HOW THE FUCK WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW, WHAT WERE YOU SERIOUSLY THINKING WHEN YOU LEGALLY CHANGED YOUR NAME TO THAT, WHY

Also, see a therapist, your obsession with that person is TERRIFYING and you genuinely need to talk to someone

My past relationships: thank you for dragging that into this, low move, it's not like I had just gotten the situation to calm down and I was finally able to relax, but you're known to react before hearing both sides. Trust me, the damage was mutual, and I can't talk about it because I'm being blackmailed. That person has my name and address. To them, go ahead, post it, let the community decide if it was one-sided and if I blew off my apology.

[reynanghugot]

[July 18, 2023 6:26PM] disclaimer: long post ahead. This might be TMI for some; you can skip it.

To those who are new to my dash [yes, I followed some in the last few months because I wanted to see new people], Hi, I'm Jelli! It was nice to be your mutual here.

As usual, I just woke up again because I slept late last night due to one of my major subject submissions at 11:59 p.m. Anyway, good evening. Well, maybe good morning if you are living in a different Time Zone. Here's a life update that you didn't ask for:

Well, I have a few more days before my one-week diet and my therapy. I've been waiting for this time to share what's really happening to me alone. I've been receiving messages lately; some were asking how I was doing, some were already aware of my health condition, which I have shared here, and some were just skipping those posts because that's really what they were supposed to be.

I've already mentioned this in my previous posts, [but let me repeat it again because who cares, right?] I was diagnosed in April 2023 with a non-toxic goiter and underwent surgery in May 2023. One week after I was discharged, my biopsy result came out, and I was diagnosed with papillary thyroid carcinoma [this is curable, by the way; it's just that I'm really scared at its finest because we have a strong family history when it comes to this type of illness]. Yes, you can do your own research on what that is [if you would like], but that was really the term that I would like to go for. In other words, I'm not yet done with medications, laboratories, and hospital admissions. Frankly speaking, it's really hard to accept it at first, but I really need to, because for me, acceptance is really the best thing that I can do to go on with my day while I'm waiting for my next doctor's appointment. I am just hoping for the best with my radioactive iodine therapy on the 31st. It might be a little harder for me and for my loved ones because I need to be isolated for 3–5 days and another 15 days once discharged.

Due to my health condition, I've been on leave since April 10, 2023, and I'm still not sure if I will go back to work or not. We'll see after my therapy and recuperation period. Despite my current situation, I will still be able to retain my academic achievement as part of the president's list from last semester. For sure, you were able to see it if we are friends on Facebook.

I was able to see my longtime friends from 2013 on July 9, 2023. I've been missing in action for four years due to personal matters. I had a great night with them and with our partners, just like in the old days. It might be a short period of time that has been allotted for that dinner because we have our priorities the next day, but it's really memorable for me. I am truly grateful to have them in my life.

There's nothing new that happened in my life during the second quarter because of my current situation. Aside from me trying my luck in freelancing because I really want to change the industry in which I am working, I am also just going back and forth to the hospital, and prior to that, I was given a chance to go celebrate my Birthday with @/niiiikkotin and @/p0poynawalangbasha weekend after the holy week last April 2023, visit Nikko's family mid-April 2023, and take a long week vacation with my family last May 2–5, 2023.

I think is the best thing that I could share here. If you will ask me, How am I doing? I am currently okay while I'm typing this. But still, not every day is a good day. I still have days when I'm at my lowest physically, financially, emotionally, and mentally, but I know how strong I am and I can get through this. A little progress every day is still progress for me. I hope everything goes well in the next few days.

If you reach this point in your reading, thank you for taking the time. We might not be that close personally, but I still appreciate you listening to [or, initially, just reading] my chika. Have a great night, and take care always!

[meilon-soda]

Halloooo friends how're you doin ? hope everything is well with you guys, sorry again for lack of updates, was in study mode and trying to design new stuff 😆 Also lately, Idk if its the weather or is it because of ber months ? but every time of this year I usually go on "hibernating mode" haha I'm slower than usual , had to push every single cell of mah lazy body just to start my new pieces hahaha 🤣 just feels so sluggish, but yeah ill try to post new stuff as soon as I'm done, and as always thank you so much for appreciating my stuff. Hope ya'll have a great weekend 💙✨️

Xoxo,

-Mei

[havocspiral]

do you have any evidence about shittyclive being a groomer? genuine question

im glad you asked because he literally groomed me!

note for all of this i am going to be using he/him, i don't keep up with him enough to know exactly what pronouns he uses, if its anything different please tell me and ill update this post. he may be a groomer but im not a twat. also please be patient because my chronological memory is Horrible so i may not remember things in the correct order, but i have all of this written down and i Know that all of this happened

this all happened bc of a server i made called DAAC in ~May 2020 - that's where i met neil and also his friend K (not gonna name em but iykyk), along w a few other people. most of the ppl in that server were obsessed w sexualising me, especially neil. im not abt to put my age on the internet but it was. yknow. not fun, and everyone in that server knew my age btw because i trusted them and did not think that all This would happen (he also drew nsfw stuff and showed it to me)

anyway to cut a very long and unimportant story short, dated a guy, he was crazy, broke up w him and he stalked me march 2021 to ~july 2021, in that time neil attempted to pose as a sort of "protector" and in his OWN WORDS a father figure. side note my stepdad died in feb 2021 and i grieved too much and he dropped a frankly quite ass song abt it but i digress. yeah we got really close knit we were a "father-son" duo and when i tell you the ONLY THING HE TALKED ABOUT WAS SEX i wish i was kidding but our only topics were him telling me abt what he wants to do to his man of the month or how hes suicidal and AGAIN, absolutely inappropriate at the age i was. this lasted for so long that i began to break down entirely and becoming suicidal, also resorting to drinking and hurting myself, even going to crisis teams along with missing a LOT of school because i had become entirely dependent on him. basically he had me on a leash and was using me as a crisis hotline AND a sex hotline. i tried to cut him off multiple times in an emotional state and this obviously wasn't the best thing i couldve done but i literally saw no other choice. oh also during this time he suggested i have DID and i had a counselor for my stepdads death and. god damn he may be a weirdo but he was correct there ill give him that (he did also try to recount my trauma to work out how i worked as a system which. i shouldnt even have to explain how thats just odd)

(another thing i just remembered he sent inappropriate pictures to me and my friend, ill put her recount of it at the end of this)

one day i spoke to K, realised that was i was doing was wrong and attempted to talk about the situation with neil to which he was like. oh yeah i cant do this anymore bye and when i went to tell K he did the same. this was when i was in school which was rare, i just entirely broke down (also worth mentioning every time he told me about being suicidal i mentioned getting a therapist but he said he couldn't and i would also get all shaky and sob uncontrollably and basically be unable to function THATS HOW BAD THE DEPENDENCY WAS) and i had to be picked up bc it was that bad

i texted his instagram begging for at least and explanation and that i loved him and wanted to talk to him again (<- so manipulated it was insane) and he was like yeah but only on weekends and i felt such STRONG RELIEF and then when i went to sleep he went sike lol bye

remember the bf from earlier? yeah he faked his identity multiple times so i (at the time) was used to keeping tabs on people since. stalking. and i didn't want the guy to get the jump on me. so i kept tabs on neil for a bit, which i do regret and am sorry for, and one day he just disappeared? and honestly? i celebrated. also the ex from earlier faked his death multiple times so neils attempt at faking it this way was a dig at that specific incident. it didnt really work because i think about a day ish later he admitted to my friend (the same one from earlier, ill call her V) that he did it and wasnt dead

then he "apologised" to me and while i may not have screenshots for the most part he mentions what he did in the apology which is just. outright admission FROM HIM about what he did. he also admitted the apology was a total lie on his blog which i find funny because he frames it as a "gotcha" when i didnt even accept the apology?

also found out from an anonymous person who knew neil that apparently hes meeting up w people and also is violent w his friends which. ew

ok heres the evidence

(censored parts are for my own safety)

[penny-anna]

Just thought I’d let you know that your onslaught of Back to the Future content inspired me to rewatch the movies this weekend, which was such a delight :)

Do you have any fic recs, by any chance?

ah glad to hear it!

*rubs hands together*ohoho let's see what i got here

Like Water Flowing Underground by Kleenexwoman

Marty struggles to fit in with his new reality, but is any other world a better fit?

i read this one back in 2015 and come back to it every so often. just beautifully done.

Becoming Marty by butchcassidy

Scenes and glimpses from Marty's childhood and how he came to be Marty.

obligatory trans marty rec!!

Time is a Wave and a Particle by Kleenexwoman

Another one of those "Marty has trouble dealing with living in an alternate universe" fics.

heavy content warning for mental illness & specifically psychosis on this one!!

beautifully written, absolutely gutwrenching, this one is gonna haunt me ):

Alternates by Wildgoosery

Marty's life isn't at all like how he left it.

i eat up post-canon 'marty deals w being in a new timeline' fics like candy nom nom nom

wish someone would tell me who to be (ready to try anything) by Adanska

(“Fashion cycle,” Doc had explained, looking more ‘50s than anything else. “The Eighties just came back around in a big way for kids your age, you shouldn’t stick out too much—people will just think you’re hipsters.” “What, like the pants?” “No, a nostalgia-obsessed movement—ah, nevermind.”)

lesbian marty & jennifer visiting Actual 2015 its great give this one a read!!

we can't live in the present forever by ideal_girl (trainwreckdress)

Marty wonders if Doc has the same problem; histories overlapping, memories colliding in the space of a single, shared moment. He hopes not.

a 'marty deals with having 2 contradictory sets of memories' story

Inevitable by nbfutureboy

It's a bizarre twist of fate. When they’d found out they’d been expecting twin boys, Jennifer had suggested, sensible and sweet, that they pick out two new names. No comparisons to the kids of the first 2015 - they could be their own people, without having to compete with a future memory. 

very sweet fic about trans marlene mcfly!!

The Man in the Box by makesureyouwashyourhands

People said the strangest things about the McFlys. They said that Marty McFly went to bed one night and woke up a different person. Or, the two Martys: how they differ, and how they're the same.

*throws another post-canon new timeline fic at you*

The Human Body Is Incredibly Faulty by ThePhenomenalStingray

Written for the ask, "For that headcannon prompt, Doc is a complete mother hen mess when Marty’s hurt".

cute!! <3<3<3<3

First Impressions by Kristen Sheley

To say that he had been surprised when the kid had showed up that evening at his doorstep was an understatement. He hadn’t ever imagined anything so fantastic, and his was a mind that had visualized a lot of unrealistic and fantastic things! But a seventeen-year-old time traveler from the future was never one of them. Equally surprising to him was that this kid was apparently a friend of his. What a sixty-five-year-old was doing hanging out with someone so young, Emmett could only wonder. Maybe Marty was a student of his, from the University.

an oldie but a goodie!! absolutely banging bit of missing scene work from the first film w doc & marty adjusting to each other in 1955

The Longest Odds by leaper182

Marty McFly just had two more years to go before he could start thinking about the future.

But then the odds shifted, and the only future he has to think about now is whether he'll make it home alive.

wip not updated since 2016. not a whole lot of this one as it looks like it didn't really get off the ground but the central concept (tribute marty + former victor mentor doc brown) is just gutwrenching and im going to be rotating it in my brain forever!! ETA: totally failed to clock the ship tag on this one oops!! its tagged doc/marty but i don't remember anything shippy happening in the chapters posted. read at your own risk ig.

that's all for now!! i got more stuff in my to-read so stay tuned hopefully!!!

[ahiddenpath]

Life Update

Talkin' about life beneath the cut. TW for medical talk, mentions of cancer (I am not sick, it's a family member), and family issues. Ngl, it's a heavy one, so please don't read it if you're not up for that.

It's been hard, lately.

Creative

I haven't written in like... 2+ weeks. That is not normal or comfortable for me. I am hoping to plan Koushiro week (dates and prompts) this week and share the info next weekend.

Family Stuff

A maternal family member's health is not looking great. They had the cancerous organ removed, but in the 30 day rest period after surgery, the cancer spread to 2 non-removable organs. They will be starting immunotherapy, as chemo is not usually effective for one of the organs. This family member is in their early 60s, so this is... quite early to be in a multiple organ cancer situation (although cancer knows no age, but... You know what I mean).

We can do a lot for cancer patients these days. I've been researching immunotherapies professionally for 12+ years, so, like... Yeah, we've come a long way, so there is hope. Still, this is devastating news for my family. All I want is for my family member to recover, and to provide effective support without stepping on toes or being insensitive by accident.

With all this going on, my mom isn't doing well. She has her usual stuff. Briefly, for anyone who might be new to my life posts, her husband/my father is a horrible person, I started asking for protection and if we could get away from him when I was 12. Only one family member tried to help me- the same one who has cancer. I've been no contact with my father since I left home in my early 20s. My mother remained with him, and constantly requests help and support because of his abuse. I have to constantly remind her that I can't do anything while she remains with him, as it would put me in his path. And, uncomfortably, I have had to remind her that:

1.) She is an adult and can leave at her discretion

2.) No one helped me when I was a child. Her expectation that her adult child save her is... Not easy to swallow.

Our relationship has always been complicated, but it really suffered a blow about a year ago, when she asked me to lie to the government to save her business (I don't want to get into details, but it was pretty gobsmacking). I of course said no, and provided a legal and much safer alternative, but it would have cost effort, time, and money from her instead of having me take care of everything and, you know... Lie to the government. She responded to my info email, which took me hours and hours of research and several phone calls to assemble, with a nasty response. She did apologize via text a few days later, but things never really recovered. I went from seeing her monthly/every other month to maybe three times per year.

She called about two weeks ago and just... Emotionally dumped on me, the way she did when I was a kid. About how awful her job and husband are, about her family member's illness. And look, everyone needs emotional support, but we don't have that relationship, and I'm also struggling with my family member's diagnosis. Then, she called wanting to meet up with me, which... I frankly don't want to do.

I am not sure what she wants. She might want someone to vent to more, which can't be me. If I do go, I will take my husband- she is far better behaved around him. I'll also make sure it's somewhere I can get up and leave. But people often want to repair relationships when faced with illness of a loved one, and to be honest... I'm much more comfortable with where our relationship is now.

Life stuff

Some friends visited my house for 4 days last weekend, from Fri-Mon. I'm lucky to see them once per year, for reference, because of how far apart we live. It was very fun, but I found myself feeling my age (mid 30s) in ways I never have before. I get up at 7 AM and go to bed around 11 PM, every day. My friends stayed up until like 1 AM and woke up at like 10-11 AM. It's like fucking jet lag, man, I'm still thrown off. A lot of our activities involved eating, too, and holy shit, I have learned that I cannot do that. I have to stick to my normal light breakfast and lunch and everyday dinner. Like, I can do maybe 1 big ol celebration meal per week; I cannot do 1 every day for 4 days. My body neither knows or cares when I'm on vacation and/or with friends.

This is absolutely absurd. I could have done this just fine even like... Idk, 3 years ago??? This is one of the first times I've really, really felt like I'm getting older.

I'm so mad at myself because I was taking decent care of myself in the spring. I started hiking and working out and eating a little better. But when summer hit, it was literally over 90F every day for like... Nearly 3 straight months. It used to be 80s with a few absolute melting days. Now, every day is one of those outliers. I've been stuck inside and not wanting to go out, which, of course, impacts my mental health. I've been feeling lowkey sick/exhausted with stomach issues for nearly three months. I'm really looking forward to the fall and cooler weather, but ofc I need to figure out how to deal with things when I'm stuck inside.

In better news, my husband and I planned our vacation this year. It's... not something I would pick. We are going to Vegas for a few days. I have sensory issues, so uhhh this is not... Good lol! But he's been a Penn and Teller fan since he was a child, and I think they're in their 70s. He wants to see them perform, so we shouldn't put it off, and after the Japan trip last year, I wanted a domestic trip. We're only there for 3 or 4 nights (and holy batman, the hotel rates were absolutely bonkers). The week after, we are going to the Shenandoah Valley area and chilling in a house by a river for three days. I am hoping to see Luray caverns and Shenandoah National Park on the days we are arriving and leaving. This is something much more my speed.

The bad news is that we spent a huge amount of time this weekend planning what we are doing. Vacations have gotten so much more difficult to plan and waaaay more expensive since the pandemic. It's at the point where I question if it's worth it, which is insane because it's such a beautiful world out there! But also holy fuckin shit batman!!!!!

Work

Work is annoying, idk what to tell you, but they pay me pretty well and my boss and coworkers are nice. Nothing really unusual to report.

I hope you are all healthy and well! Please take care of yourselves! Thank you for caring about me <3

[tokidokitokyo]

2023年4月30日

This month was again very busy! Do I ever have not-busy months? Probably not! I still accomplished quite a bit, but I didn't do everything I had planned to do. One thing that I noticed though was that my reading skill and my listening skill have progressed because of incorporating reading and listening into my daily practice routine. I picked back up a manga I had started a year ago and found that it was easier to read this time. I also realized I am able to pick up more from news and other TV programmes now. The key is really just practicing consistently! It feels good to see tangible progress, and that motivates me even more.

今月はまた忙しかったです！忙しくない時はあるのかな？多分ない！今月は結構勉強が進めて良かったです。すべての目的には成功できなくても、まだまだ進んでいます。今月気づいたのは読解力と聴解力が結構上がったと思います。毎日ちょっとだけで���読んだり聞いたりするので、日課に入っていることになりました。��して去年読み始めようとした漫画を今月また読み続いたら、去年より楽になったって気づきました。最近ニュースや色んなテレビ番組を見ると、前より全然簡単に理解ができるって気づきました。毎日ちょっとずつ勉強するのはポイントです。具体的に成長を感じるのもモチベーションになります！

My 2023 Goals Progress

I laid out some broad goals for my Japanese study in my 2023 Japanese Language Goals post, so again I will update my progress towards these goals.

1. Read one page a day of 日本の歴史366 (にほんのれきし366) everyday in 2023.

How is it going? Good! In March my reading fell behind due to work and illness, and I didn't exactly catch up in April, but I am trying to continue even though I missed quite a few days and have not yet been able to read them. The goal is reading everyday, and although I really wanted to stay in order and to stay on top of it, sometimes things happen! I'll keep reading a page a day and catch up where I can.

2. Finish 日本語総まとめ N3 (にほんごそうまとめ N3) workbooks.

How is it going? Good! I have been working one of the four workbooks (Vocabulary, Kanji, Grammar, Listening) into my schedule several nights a week (mostly weekend nights!). I have worked through Week 4 out of 6, so I am close to the end of these workbooks! I am also taking more time to review them, so I can do fewer pages at a time but I feel like I am getting more out of them. I read each day's lesson carefully before I tackle the questions, and then I pick up each workbook again throughout the week and just read through the questions again.

3. Review and learn the first 6 levels of the 常用漢字 (じょうようかんじ), specifically the 教育漢字 (きょういくかんじ) up to grade 6.

How is it going? Not great. I definitely did not pick back up specifically the 常用漢字 in April, so I will try it again in May! Tbh, I just forgot to focus on these during my kanji studies and was more focused on vocabulary words ^^;

4. Read at least one book every two months.

How is it going? Not great. I am very behind on the books that I wanted to complete by the first half of this year. I lost motivation in March or so and haven't been able to pick them back up. I was reading them slowly and mining for vocabulary/kanji, which takes a lot of time that I don't have. I have been reading other books sporadically (although I haven't finished any) and I have been reading manga and articles semi-regularly. I thought this goal would be easier than trying to read a book each month, but it's still a lot for me. It's ok to change your goals, and next month I'll try to reformulate this goal to make it work for me.

5. Improve my speaking and writing by finding a tutor.

How is it going? It could be better. April was busier than I thought! I hope to find a tutor in May, but I find it difficult to find someone who suits my needs (and my time constraints). I hope to have better news on this next month! Wish me luck!

6. Study Japanese for at least 10 minutes a day.

How is it going? Good! Variation in my study schedule is the key to keeping up a daily Japanese study goal. If I'm tired, manga or an article, or a quick flashcard session, are quick ways to practice. If I have extra time I squeeze in a workbook lesson. Finding lots of little ways to practice helps me to stay interested and to stay motivated.

April Study Log

April was another busy month, so let's see how I did!

Vocabulary - This month I spent a lot more time practicing vocabulary. Not only did I write down words and look up words I didn't know, I also tried to conscientiously incorporate new words into my daily conversation. This helped me to remember them as well as to figure out what situations I would use them in.

Listening - I spent a lot of time with podcasts (during my commute) and TV/movies (with my son!) so I got a lot of listening practice in. I did realize the other day that I find it easier to listen to even more fast-paced or advanced TV shows, etc. That was a nice realization!

Kanji - I slacked off on kanji and definitely did not focus on school-age kanji. I honestly just forgot, and didn't have much time to commit new kanji to memory. I'll try again next month!

Speaking - We had a lot of play dates and so I got in a lot of speaking practice. The more I speak the more comfortable I am and the more information I can convey. This is definitely something I'd like to work on with a tutor!

Grammar, Reading, & Writing - I would like to incorporate these more into my daily studies, but they have really dropped off my radar recently. I have been quite busy and very tired as a result, so I am not going to be too hard on myself.

Going Forward in May

Continue working through N3 総まとめ workbooks as often as possible

Work more on 漢字 and specifically focus on the 教育漢字

Get an italki (or other?) tutor that suits my needs

Review and practice 3 grammar points per week

Next month I will really try to stick to the goals I have set and I hope to have a better report. But I still think that any progress is good progress, so let's keep working towards our goals! See you next month!

来月はもうちょっと目的に集中したいと思いますが、目的を超えなくても成功ができると思っています。そしてまだまだ勉強を進んで頑張りましょう！また来月！