#ill be over this show one day i promise lmao

[astraysimp]

𓆩⟡𓆪Hello hello! It’s 9mitm Friday! It’s our dumpling boy’s turn and man…..this one challenged me. My brain was working hard trying to figure out and plan this fic. LMAO, I enjoyed the challenge and hope you guys enjoy this chapter! XOXO

𓆩⟡𓆪Summary: For as long as you could remember–once your cousins and siblings had found partners, got married and had kids- your family always asked when it was going to be your turn. You hated it, seeing as it got brought up at every family function, but when you and Hyunjin announced your ‘relationship’ last year they shut up….but they still asked about kids…..until you and Hyune showed up with your baby in tow

𓆩⟡𓆪Warnings: fake dating(to real dating) trope, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF, reader’s family is kinda annoying, you and Hyun have kept your baby a secret(no ill intentions), fem!reader, petnames, if my math of baby’s age doesn’t line actually make sense please pretend it does :D

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Ah, Christmas dinner with your family. You loved it….but you also dreaded it. Aunts, uncles, cousins, your siblings, your parents, grandparents all asked when you were going to find a boyfriend, when you were going to get married, when you were going to have kids. It annoyed you to no end. That was until last year when Hyunjin had suggested that you two ‘date’ to shut them up. So, you did, appearing at your family’s Christmas dinner hand in hand.

“Wah, our y/n finally got herself a boyfriend!”

“Finally! She’s not single anymore!”

“A boyfriend?! Oh my god, you brought your boyfriend?!”

“When did you meet?!”

“How long have you been together?!”

“He’s so handsome! Where did you meet him?!”

That was all you heard, until you heard the “so, when are you having kids?” You and Hyunjin hadn’t known what to say, heck your ‘relationship’ was only a show, to shut them up. So, you didn’t answer, telling them, “oh, it’ll be a while.”

It ,in fact, was not a little while. You and Hyunjin had baby Iseul only 9 months later. But, opted not to tell your family, due to wanting to soak up and bask in your new lives as parents.

That brought you to now.

Currently, it was Christmas day and you were getting Iseul ready to go to your family’s Christmas dinner. You were already dressed, wearing a red dress, the skirt sparsely covered in gold sequins, a pair of nylon tights on your legs, a pair of delicate black heels on your feet. You curled your hair, tying half of it up with a bow, your makeup already done– brown and gold eyeshadow accentuated your eyes, blank eyeliner elongating them and ruby red lipstick gracing your plump lips.

Tonight, you and Hyunjin were going to introduce Iseul to your family.

A lot in both yours and Hyunjin’s lives had changed. Your( what started as a fake) relationship had blossomed into a real relationship, you had Iseul 5 months ago, you lived together, he gave you a promise ring, you met his family. Oh, did I mention, you had a baby 5 months ago? Because you did, and her name is Iseul. She is a dream, not fussy, has Hyunjin’s pouty lips, and doesn't cry a lot. You and Hyunjin love her, actually love is too weak a word.

Smiling, you looked down to see Iseul trying to put her foot in her mouth. Laughing, you gently held her legs in your hands, sliding a pair of tights onto her chubby legs. “Hi, my dewdrop. Are you so excited? You get to meet your grandma and grandpa, and your aunts and uncles?” You giggled, as Iseul held her arms and legs up. She giggled as you tickled her belly, high pitched squeals and giggles erupting through the room. Her laugh was one of your favorite things about her, the way she so effortlessly lit up your life with her giggle. Grabbing the dress from beside you, you carefully slid it over her head and put her arms through the sleeves.

My first Christmas

The dress read, across its velvet red fabric, white letters spelling out the words.There was soft fur, along the hem, neckline and sleeves. She looked too cute. Sliding a pair of matching socks over her feet, you smiled and tied her soft baby hair in a ponytail and added a bow. “Oh look at my baby girl! My baby girl is so cute! Should we show appa how cute you are?” You smiled, and gently picked her up, holding her on your hip, as you pointed in the mirror. “There she is! There’s my dewdrop!” You smiled, bouncing her on your hip as she giggled. “Let’s show appa, yeah?!”

Speaking of her appa– Hyunjin– where is he?

You,nor Hyunjin, could exactly remember when your ‘fake’ relationship turned into you actually dating. Was it when the two of you were relaxing on the couch of your shared apartment, his arms around your shoulders and your head on his chest? “We have to make our relationship look real, honey love.” He would tell you.

Maybe

Was it when he made you heart shaped chocolate chip pancakes, for Valentine’s Day? “Happy Valentine’s Day, mumma,” he whispered in your ear. His soft yet calloused hands cradling your cheek, trying to wake you peacefully, where you laid in bed. “Morning, honey oat,” you sleepily grumbled. Your eyes slowly fluttering open to see a tray of breakfast— those exact heart shaped chocolate chip pancakes, strawberries cut into hearts, a glass of orange juice and a croissant— percheched on your bed, with Hyune sitting against the headrest. “Made you breakfast, for you and the baby.” He blushed, smiling down at your half awake form.

Perhaps

Was it when you were at your 20 week ultrasound, finding out that you would be having a baby girl and the nurse beamed at you, congratulating you with a “congratulations Mr and Mrs Hwang”

Mr and Mrs.Hwang

You couldn’t remember. Your lives bled into one another seamlessly, the line between real dating and your fake show relationship seeming to disappear. It was easy. Easy as breathing. Sure, ever since you had become friends with the tall boy, you had pictured and thought of dating him. Wondered how his pillow soft and ever so plush lips would feel against your own; how it would feel to be held against his chest as he sang you to sleep at night. The thoughts always lingered in your brain, somewhere in the back. But, you never would have imagined for him to suggest putting on a show relationship to quiet your family’s ever persistent questioning.

Sure, you had also seen Hyunjin interact with babies, over your times as friends. And did it make you wonder about what it would be like to have a child with him? Yes, you weren’t going to deny it. Again, you never would have guessed it to become a reality. But, it was your reality. You and Hyunjin… sharing an apartment, welcome home kisses, having a baby shower, him healing you through. Your pregnancy.

He was there through it all, every step, milestone, doctor’s appointment. He was there. He had even picked out her name, Iseul. “I like Iseul, love. It means dewdrop. Our own little dewdrop,” He muttered, his large hand rubbing against your bump, as you two were laying in bed, one night.

Her nursery theme was his idea, as well. Themes of soft powder blue and a crème color flourishing against the walls. Hyunjin picked out each piece of furniture, as long as you approved of it, assembled them and built the nursery, filling it with his love. One of his, and your, favorite things was the mural that Hyunjin has painted. It was a picture of the sky, clouds gracing the ceiling with rain falling down, but in the spaces between the raindrops, was her name…

Iseul

Grabbing Iseul’s shoes and snow suit(one of those full body padded baby onesies) you headed towards your and Hyunjin’s shared bedroom? “Where’s appa, Iseul? Hm, where did appa go?” You pondered, seeing as he wasn’t in your bedroom, and the master bathroom light was off.

Where could he have gone? You thought to yourself, as you made your way downstairs, your heels clicking against the hardwood floor. “Hyune? Hyunnie? Babe, where’d you go,are you ready?” You called out, entering the living room.

Then, you saw him– and damn, did he look good. His ebony hair was slicked back, a tailored Versace pair of slacks along his legs, a festive yet classy Versace crewneck on his torso, paired with a gold watch and shiny, black sleek dress shoes on his feet.

Damn, I’m lucky

He was preparing Iseul’s stroller, making sure a blanket was safely tucked in it, to make sure she was warm and had the baby bag sitting on the floor nearby. “Look, dew drop, there’s appa!” You smiled, as she giggled and kicked her feet in your hold.

“Oh! There my girls are! Hi my loves, don’t you two look so pretty?” Hyunjin smiled, turning around at your voice and seeing you standing there. Making his way over to you, he planted a kiss on your lips and Isuel’s forehead, before taking her into his arms. “My baby’s first Christmas! Are you excited, pumpkin!?” He smiled, as Iseul squished her small chubby hands on his cheeks, happy squeals and giggles leaving her mouth. “I think she is, huh dewdrop?” You smiled, adjusting her dress, before you adjusted the red bow in her hair.

Turning to you, Hyunjin smiled and kissed the crown of your head. “ I need to load the gifts and stroller into the car. Think you’ll be okay getting her ready while I do that, hon?” He asked, as you smiled with a nod. “I got it, babe. Go get everything settled,” you patted his butt lightly, taking Iseul back into your arms. With a nod of his head, Hyunjin put his long trench coat on, and grabbed the stroller and baby bag, slinging it over his stroller, “I’ll warm up the car, while I’m out there, honey!” He called, making his way into the cold night air, popping the trunk open and setting the stroller and baby bag inside.

Meanwhile, in the house, you had slid your own matching trench coat on and fastened its buttons, before setting Iseul on the couch, humming as you laid the opened baby snow suit on the cushions. “Let’s get my dew drop bundled up,” you cooed, gently booping her nose. Carefully, you laid her against the back portion of the jacket, settling her legs and arms in their respective sleeves. “One foot, and another foot and you’re all in!” You giggled, zipping up the zipper. Hyunjin had since reentered, to grab your load of presents, before leaning down to plant a kiss to yours and Iseul’s heads. “Look at my little dewdrop! You look so warm, did mommy dress you up?” He smiled as she kicked her feet, before he went to load the presents into the car.

Taking one of her shoes into your hands, you gently slid it on her foot, clasping the buckle shut. “One foot,” You smiled as she waved her arms around, looking up at you. “And one more foot,” you giggled, repeating the process with her other shoe. Picking her up, you grabbed your keys, phone and bag and made your way to the door. Turning the lights off, Hyunjin took Iseul to buckle her into her carseat. “Ready to go, my loves?”

The drive was about an hour and a half , to your parents’ house. Iseul had managed to fall asleep, and you couldn’t blame her, traffic causing a 30 minute delay. Cars bumping back to back, you had barely moved an inch. You weren’t shocked when you turned from your spot in the passenger seat, to see a sleeping Iseul on her car seat.

Driving during the holidays sucked.

But, you managed to make it, and once you pulled into the familiar driveway of your parents’ home, you smiled. Unbuckling your seat belt, you went to the trunk, grabbing the gift bags. You, carefully, made your way into the house, to be greeted by smiles and warm hugs. But, outside, Hyunjin was grabbing the stroller, setting a still sleeping baby Iseul in it, and the rest of the gifts.

“Hi,everyone! We’re here!”

Your parents rushed over to you, pulling you into their warm embrace. “Hi, love, so nice to see you! Where is that lovely boyfriend of yours?” Your mom asked, noticing Hyunjin wasn’t by your side. “He’s out bringing the rest of the gifts(and our baby) in,” You laughed, turning to hug your dad. “Hi sweetheart, how are you?” Your dad asked, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m good, how are you, dad?” You smiled, walking to the living room, after shrugging your jacket and shoes off, exchanging them for house slippers.

“Hi, yn!”

“Hey, where’s Hyunjin?!”

“Ynnie! So good to see you!”

Everyone called out their greetings and you smiled, giving them all a hug after you placed the presents under the, already full, tree. “He’s on his way in, we have a lot of presents to bring!” You laughed out.

You heard him before you saw him. Smiling, you could hear the wheels locking on the stroller as he was taking his jacket and shoes off. Any minute now and everyone would be in for a big surprise.

“Hello, hello! I’m here!”

And there he was. But, not only him, he came pushing the stroller in, Iseul still asleep, the soft blanket laid over her body. “And, we have a guest!”

“Is that a-”

“A stroller….a baby?!”

“When did you two have a baby?!”

“A grandbaby, oh my gosh!”

Needless to say, everyone was surprised, shocked, taken aback, confused. You laughed, as Hyunjin took Iseul out of her stroller and sat next to you. “Yep, a baby. Baby Iseul,” you smiled, seeing her stir awake. Gently, you tucked the soft fleece blanket around her body, ensuring her pacifier was shut in her mouth. But, they could also see a ring on your finger.

“What-“

“When?!”

“How old is she?!”

“What’s her name?!”

“Is that a ring?!”

Laughing, you looked over at Hyunjin, seeing him rocking Iseul in his arms. “Wow, lots of questions. But! I have answers!” You giggled, settling yourself against Hyunjin’s side, as he placed a kiss on your temple. “So, to start, her name is Iseul and she’s 5 months old. Uh, we found out we were having her after last Christmas,” You breathed out, as Hyunjin nodded. Clearing his throat, he looked toward you. “We weren’t expecting or planning on having her. She was like our own Christmas present, he laughed, “but, we really love being parents.”

“Why haven’t we met or seen her yet?” Your mom asked, curious as to what took you and Hyunjin so long to bring your baby around. Nodding your head, you smiled as Iseul was slowly stirring from her sleep. “Honestly, we just wanted to bask in having her to herself, for a while, before we brought her around everyone. Becoming parents was a change, a big one, so we wanted to soak it i, have our own memories built and just get to love on her.” You breathed out, hearing a soft whimper coming from Iseul. Hyunjin smiled and nodded, “there is absolutely no ill intentions. We just wanted to be able to soak in the new parenthood love and enjoy her to ourselves.” You both smiled, before Isuel’s whimpers turned into cries, she was hungry. “Excuse me, I think we have a hungry baby on our hands,”Hyunjin smiled, rising from his seat on the couch to grab a premade bottle from the baby bag and go to the kitchen to warm it.

It was true and you and Hyunjin loved the 5 months you had Iseul to yourselves. From the moment she was born, she had her appa wrapped around her finger. Iseul was born early in the morning,2:23 to be exact. You remember Hyunjin crying, as she was placed on your chest, her head covered in soft black hair. She has his lips, and nose but your eyes. She was—and still is— his greatest accomplishment.

Month 1 brought a lot of changes. A new sleep —if you can even call it that— schedule for you and Hyunjin, lots of waking up at the break of dawn for nightly feeds, lots of diapers and dirty clothes. But, also lots of smiles, smiles shared with each other and smiles shared with Iseul. Lots of baby giggles, gummy smiles and big brown eyes.

With each month, your hearts only grew, watching as her personality developed. She was a daddy’s girl, through and through. Loving to be held and sang to by Hyunjin. He loved to hold her small body to his bare chest. Looking up at him, her big brown eyes blinking, easily growing tired throughout the day. “It must be tiring being so cute,” he cooed to her, kissing her small forehead. Hyunjin had fallen asleep in the rocking chair by the crib many times. “Want to make sure she’s okay, honey love,” he’d tell you, a tired yawn falling from his lips. She was, and always will be safe, but he needed to be sure. But, luckily Iseul always slept through the night, easily.

By month 5, Iseul learned to hold a crayon. Thanks to Hyunjin. You would come home to see them in the kitchen seated at the dining table, coloring. But, your favorite sights were seeing them cuddling. It warmed your heart. You also loved watching Hyunjin feed her. It was such a mundane task, but it was the cutest thing to see. Iseul would be seated in her high chair, Hyunjin sat in front of her, and he’d swirl the spoon in front of her. “Here comes the plane,” he would say with a sing-songy lilt in his voice. Her small pouty lips would enclose the spoon and her face would scrunch up, mimicking the way Hyunjin’s own face would pout when he ate. “She definitely is your daughter, honey bear.” You would giggle out, as he used the spoon to wipe the baby food from around her mouth.

Returning from the kitchen, Hyunjin sat on the couch, a warm bottle of breastmilk nustled between Iseul’s mouth, as she fed. “I’m back, and she is less fussy,” he chuckled, knowing a full tummy would calm her down. It was true. Iseul only became fussy when hungry or tired.But, the drive from your apartment to your parents’s house had her well rested. Your cousin had peeped up. “So, there’s a ring on yn’s finger. When did that happen?” She smiled, pointing to the delicate stoned balanced between prongs and snugly set on a delicate band. “Oh that?” Hyunjin laughed, carefully handing you a now empty bottle, before softly patting Iseul’s back. “It’s a promise ring, a promise to never give up on yn or Iseul, and to always be here, no matter how hard it gets…..It’s also a promise to make her my wife,one day. Almost like a placeholder ring until then.” He smiled, as you carefully took Iseul into your arms.

Cradling her to your chest, you and Hyunjin exchanged soft eyes and loving smiles. “Well, we’re really happy for the both of you.” Your dad chimed in, patting Hyunjin on the shoulder. “Thank you. We’re really happy,too.” Hyunjin smiled, his eyes watching as you rocked your baby in your arms, looking down to her with matching eyes. The world around you,Hyunjin and Iseul, seemed to disappear. It was only the three of you. Looking back up , you saw Hyunjin watching you. Smiling, you gently blew him a kiss. Which he gladly caught and pressed to his heart, before sending two— one for you and one for the baby�� your way.

“Time to eat! Dinner is ready!”

Maybe, family Christmas dinners weren’t so bad after all. But maybe that's because you had Hyunjin and Iseul. Or, maybe because you wouldn’t be questioned anymore. Standing up, you hold Iseul in your arms, walking to the dining room, Hyunjin following you.

Dinner time

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[westside-rot]

Kill For You

Authors note: This was intended to be my first drabble but my brain wouldn't let me stop and here we are with all these words. I'll get it right and stop rambling eventually lmao

Also, I'm dipping my toe into fanfics, having fun with ideas and seeing what sticks so please be nice. It's never that serious. This has light editing so excuse any errors.

Minors dni. I do not consent to my work being copied/reposted anywhere. Stealing is lame so don't do it. Reblogs and comments are always welcome after you hit like lol

Protective husband Toji

Mentions of violence and smut *sorry not sorry*

Choosing an outfit is never easy for you. Most days it’s more like a chore and less like a first step in having fun. The way Toji’s eyes tear away from the video game he’s playing to shamelessly appraise your body is confirmation you made the right choice. Going out tonight was a last-minute decision. With limited time to get ready you opted for a backless navy-blue halter dress that showed off plenty leg without having to worry about your ass being exposed. A modest selection for the club. There’s nothing modest about the way Toji admires your curvy frame.

You pretend not to notice as you drop your phone into your purse and inform him of your plans for the evening.

“I’ll see you in a few hours. Enjoy your game. I love you.” It’s foolish to think you’d get away with a rushed explanation and a quick kiss goodbye. When Toji’s large hand catches you by the wrist you aren’t the least bit surprised to have your departure interrupted. You huff and scrunch up your nose to hide your amusement. The charade ends the moment you lock eyes. With a smirk on your face you melt into his broad defined chest and the kiss accompanying his possessive hold on your waist.

“Now let’s try this again Mrs. Fushiguro. Where do you think you’re going in this dress?”

You can’t answer right away as your husband leads you into one kiss and then another. Soon you’re in a full-blown make-out session. When he does finally let you up for air it’s a miracle you can speak. An even bigger one that your panties haven’t melted right off your ass. You explain how one of your girls is going through a bad breakup and you and the rest of the friend group have decided to get her out of the house for a night of drinks and dancing. Toji hums in what you assume to be understanding. The way his lips ghost over the creamy brown skin of your collarbone, tongue dipping between your boobs says otherwise.

“You look gorgeous my love. Maybe you should change. I don’t think I want you wearing this dress without me around.”

“Baby, I can’t. The girls will be here in five minutes. Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve felt pretty in a dress.”

He knows you’re being genuine just like he knows you don’t fault him for the long work hours and long overdue date nights. Giving you his blessing is the first step in making amends. Even though he raises you to your feet and readjusts the bottom of your dress back into place you can see the conflict happening behind his dark green eyes.

“I promise to be good.” You pout and run your fingers over the clipped black hair hanging over his forehead. He growls and pulls you closer.

“Keep your phone on. Should any man dare speak to you let them know disrespect is a crime punishable by death. Your husband is the executioner.”

“Yes sir.” You purr against his lips and erupt into a fit of giggles when he sends you on your way with a firm smack to the ass that stays with you long after you join your friends in the rideshare. It requires some convincing not to fake an illness to stay at home with your husband. Nurturing your friendships is important to you. The last thing you want is to become the friend who forsakes all others for her man. A night away from him will do you both some good. And so you turn your thoughts away from him and focus on the night ahead.

Hours later you’re regretting your decision. It’s not that you haven’t enjoyed yourself. After spending weeks going from work to home you loved every second of existing in your own bubble with your girls. The music had been on point and the drinks were nice and strong. That seemed like a good thing in the moment. By 1am you remember why you could only handle the club in small doses. The men had officially lost any sense of decency. While you understood wanting to end the night in good company, you were tired of having to relay Toji’s message to every man occupying your personal space. The massive ring on your finger should’ve been effective fuck boy repellent. Yet here you were on your fourth insincere apology. To their credit, they eventually cut their losses and backed away. There was always one that refused to take no for an answer. This particular jerk refuses to accept your no, going as

Deciding you’ve reached your fill on corny pick up lines, you and your girl decide to wait for the rest of your group outside. You've dealt with your fair share of thirsty men, none crazy enough to get physical and call you an uppity bitch for dismissing him. Pulling away only gives him reason to tighten his grip on your arm. Before you or your friend can respond with a swift kick to the balls a strong pair of hands pull the man off his feet and cast him aside like a rag doll. Your eyes practically fall out of your head when you realize it’s Toji. He’s too busy making good on his word to acknowledge your shock. While the dumb ass puts up an impressive defense he’s easily overpowered and pummeled to the ground. Every punch he throws is reciprocated with two more that land directly in his face until he's unrecognizable. Toji shows no sign of stopping. Even though you'd bet money you weren't the first woman this piece of shit has put his hands on, he isn't worth a prison sentence.

It's your voice pulling Toji back to his senses. One more punch and a kick to the ribs and he's snatching the man up by his collar to hold the man's bloody face in your direction.

“Apologize for putting your filthy hands on my wife. I’m only sparing you because she asked.

He complies and stammers out an apology through the stream of blood running down his nose into his mouth. You’re disgusted by how little you care about the beating he’s taken. Unlike the idiot before you, no one is going to force you to apologize for noticing how well your husband is filling out his thermal. In the hours since you last saw him his corded muscles appear larger and more defined underneath the black fabric. It looks painted on. The color has always been your kryptonite. Toji is wrapped in it, from his jeans down to his work boots. It’s the black beanie tugged down over his ears that turns you feral.

Toji’s voice cuts through your thoughts with a clear directive you can’t ignore. “Let’s go. All of you. NOW.” He leads you out of the club with your gaped mouth friends trailing closely behind, the crowd parting like water to let you pass. Some women gawk, one gave you a thumbs up, while other voices agreed with Toji’s methods. You have the urge to remind everyone he's your husband but decide against it.

Once in the car Toji instructs you to put everyone’s addresses into the GPS. After that the ride is tense and mostly silent. In the group chat your friends are remain crazy and undeterred as they unanimously decide Toji’s deserves immaculate head on everyone’s behalf.

You bite down a laugh then respond in chat, assuring them you will but you can't pinpoint Toji’s mood. He seems upset with you. Despite being grateful for his presence you’re somewhat annoyed with him for infiltrating your girl’s night out. Exactly how long had he been spying? Why hadn’t you noticed him before? Was he being protective, or did he not really trust you?

It pisses you off that while you’re stewing in emotions you shouldn’t feel Toji is being the perfect gentleman, not only driving your friend’s home but escorting them to the door to ensure they make it inside safely. Upon arriving home you decide you're going to sleep off your frustrations and be a responsible adult tomorrow.

Toji has other plans. Resisting your inner brat, you allow his firm yet pleading tone to keep you in your seat with arms folded across your chest.

“I’m sorry for not getting to you sooner baby. I was trying to be respectful to the hoe asking me dance and got distracted.”

The way your jaw clenches at the mention of the faceless woman proves Toji isn’t alone in his unhinged behavior. In your defense your patience runs a bit longer than his. You certainly haven’t beaten any women to a pulp for getting close. No woman had dared to touch what belonged to you either.

“Sure.”

“I got this bad feeling after you left that I couldn’t shake. Maybe it was nothing. But I rather have you upset with me than ignore my gut and something happens. You’re my entire world. I can't exist without you.”

Suddenly you’re climbing into your wonderful man’s lap to shower him with appreciation one kiss at a time across his beautiful face. You’re a brat that needs to correct her attitude. To further drive home the point you drag your tongue over his scar then back down to his chin, bearing your teeth and latching on. Toji’s lips curve into a vulgar smile but otherwise appears unfazed.

“How do you intend to make it up to me brat?”

His dick, hard and restricted against the crotch of your panties sends a message to put action to words. You comply with eager hands fumbling with his belt as you lean back on the steering wheel. “By letting you use me. You can start by fucking me right here in the driveway.”

He groans as though he’s already inside of you. What you mistake for passion on the verge of release is restraint to keep both hands firmly at your waist. He refuses to touch the intimate parts of you with soiled hands. Another reason to despise the piece of shit from earlier. But you’re too horny to argue. You practically race up the driveway, fumbling with keys to unlock the front door. The kitchen to wash your hands or a shower. You can’t decide. Toji makes the decision for you.

“Take off your panties.” Pulling them down your shapely legs, you toe the lace off to the side along with your heels. You abruptly clamp on the taunt you’ve prepared when you see him kneel before you, presenting his shoulders as a thrown he wishes you to occupy. Always mindful of safety you drape one leg across him and keep the other on the ground for leverage until he demands your trust. You comply. Your husband is a strong man. You’re reminded how much when he straightens his back, hoisting you off the ground, trapping you between the door at your back and the tongue in your pussy.

You close your eyes and surrender to weightlessness, tugging at his hair and mewling your pleasure, vocal but not too loud. You want to hear him lewdly slurp at his meal, burying his face in it like he’s eager to drown and die a satisfied man. His tongue is just as big as the rest of him. You love the way he alternates between the wavelike motions against your clit to stuffing your needy walls. It doesn’t take long to come like this. You whimper his name on its arrival, shudder then relax on his shoulders with your feet set firmly at the center of his back. When he finally sets you on the ground with a suckling kiss to each thigh you follow him on shaky legs into the kitchen.

The energy shifts from two wantons chasing pleasure to comedic and downright absurd. Toji has you pinned in front of him at the sink, his burly figure towering over you in playful competition for his share of the running water all while he struggles to penetrate you handsfree. You wish you could see how silly he looks with his jeans below his ass grinding near your entrance like some inexperienced teenager. The failed attempts have given your abs the workout you haven’t asked for. You’re the drunk one. Toji has no excuse for his antics but you’re honored he trusts you with this silly version of himself, a side the world doesn’t know exists.

"Spread your legs a little wider—push your ass up."

"Give up please." Laughter splutters from you when he notches the head between your folds, almost but not quite. The way he dips and rolls his hips as if he's sure it'll get him where he needs to be put tears in your eyes. "You’re trying to kill me." Resting your head on the counter, you give up attempting to wash your hands to fully commit to laughing. Toji joins in while taking full advantage of the water.

"Not at all gorgeous. I’m trying to fuck you." He doesn’t bother to dry off his now thoroughly washed hands as guides himself to your entrance. He reaches his target on the first try. Neither of you is laughing anymore.

The first thrust is always the sweetest. Especially when you’ve gone deprived for so long.

"There ya go. Shut that pretty fuckin mouth and let me inside." He kicks your legs apart to widen your stance and ruts into your ass. You nearly submerge your head under the water from the impact but recover quickly, stretching your soapy fingertips into the water instead and deepening the arch in your back. It gives him a full display of your ass bouncing off his pelvis and aligns him with just the right spot. He drills you for several heavenly minutes then fucks you into a standing split. Somehow you manage to cut off the water and just in time because he's snatched you off your feet, locking your knees over his elbows to fuck you midair.

There's nothing gentle about the way he fucks you. He fucks you like he's upset, like he's secretly harboring a grudge he doesn't want to speak on. You love it but feel as though you owe him another apology.

Toji isn’t giving you the chance to speak. Even as he walks you into the living room, he’s slamming you down on his dick, knocking the words right out of you. He’s relentless even in the way he places you back on your feet and jerks you around by the hair to segue right back to hard thrusts in one disorienting motion.

"I’m sorry. I’ll burn the dress—Don’t be mad." You wail over the sound of his balls colliding with your ass and frantically attempt to leverage yourself on the couch. He’s quick to restrain both arms behind your back, locking them at the elbow in a one-armed restraint. His free hand snakes your throat. There’s nowhere to run even if you want to. You don’t. He slams into you numerous times before his brain processes what you managed to say.

"What? No baby--just need to feel you and remind myself you’re mine... beautiful and all fucking mine."

"All yours. Only fucking yours." You echo the words. It earns you more sharp thrusts in powerful succession, the intensity forcing you on to the tips of your toes. You chant the words through your delirium and yield as he cranes you backwards by a makeshift ponytail to roughly kiss his way into your mouth. Not the most comfortable position but you love being treated like his personal doll. It doesn’t matter that you watched him mark his territory in the most violent way possible or how ridiculous it might seem to need the reassurance. He's a man, your man, the person you vowed to spend your life with. If he needs his ego stroked, you'll gladly stroke it. Perhaps not in the way he’s stroking your insides but close enough for him to feel cherished and irreplaceable. He deserves it after giving you some of the best orgasms of your life.

All you can do is scream your praise when the third one hits. Every nerve ending in your body feels like tiny focal point detonating at once. The pleasure overtakes you, seizing control of your limbs and coherence. You topple over the couch’s armrest to sob face first in the cushions below. Tremors ripple through your fingers down to your toes now arched and pointed at the ceiling. You fear any sudden movement will remove you from this new blissed out existence. So you don’t. You remain in your wilted position, crying and fully possessed by endless quaking yet aware enough to sense Toji kneeling at eye level. Warm hands caress your face, coaxing a gratified drunken smile to confirm you hadn’t passed out.

"Did I break you?"

“Uh-uh.”

His thumb catches your bottom lip and pries your mouth open. "I’m putting you to bed."

Instantly you muster the strength to speak. "Nooo. Just gimme a minute."

His laughter soothes your rapid pulse and puts breath back into your lungs. You think you won’t need the minute you requested. Not anymore. You only need him to find his way back home. Toji ignores your pleas with soothing kisses to your nose and lips. He guides you out of the awkward position you landed in and carries you to your bedroom.

It's a welcome change to be returned to your plush bed with your husband looming over you, gaze imbued with love you'll never get tired of seeing, removing the dress still gathered at your waist as though you'll break if he handles you poorly. He removes what remains of his attire and rejoins you on the bed. Finally you’re both gloriously naked. You pull him down on top of you, hard lines melding with soft russet contours and entangled limbs sharing a single heartbeat.

He fucks into you slow, takes his time delving to where your soul resides, whispering his devotion against your damp skin. When you reach orgasm for the last time he isn’t far behind you, filling you with his cum, marking you as his. It isn’t until he pulls out, when the urge to watch his cum leak from your spent body is too great to ignore do you realize how turned on you were watching him defend your honor. It’s toxic to wish for such things but it’s a subject you refuse to drop until you’ve talked it out with your husband. Toji will have to be the one to put a stop to your fantasy, that or replace it with something different, something better. Until then you drift back to the present, shut your eyes, and plan out your next outfit.

[lovedrruunk]

'Mango Letters ♡⸝⸝💌⊹˖➴

Venture (Overwatch) x GN Reader

[Established Relationship!]

Authors note!!!; DID U MISS MEEE??? also...IM SO SORRYYY!!!! BUT I THINK IM JUST GONNA START WRITING WHAT I WANT :((( i realized im sososo bad with requests like genuinely ughhhh!! Ill def do some every now and then tho! Anyways im just clearing out my drafts cuz I’ve come to the realization that this is literally tumblr and my posts don’t have to be perfect lmao, enjoy!!

75 days 18 hours 46 minutes and 3 seconds. That's how long it had been since you've seen your partner Sloan. Being with them you knew how devoted they were to their work and how much it required them to travel but on pretty days like this one when the weathers just right and the flowers are in full bloom and the sunset is the perfect hue of orange, you couldn't help but wish they were by your side.

And although they were thousands of miles away they always made sure to send you physical manifestations of their love.

Through love letters of course!!!

It had been a tradition ever since they had started going on longer expeditions for them to send you things in the mail. So there in your shared closet in a cute little shoebox on the top shelf, laid all their feelings on coffee stained papers. Little crystals the same color as your eyes, maps with all the places they wanted to take you, polaroids of them doing silly faces, and your favorite part, the sweet scent of mango that came with it all.

And so although they weren't by your side, their feelings were. Their longing, their excitement, their thoughts, all in the palm of your hands covered in all types stickers and doodles.

Sitting outside on the porch of your shared home enjoying the calm breeze you smile holding the most recent letter delivered. Inhaling deeply catching the hints of mango as you carefully open it.

Dear Beloved,

It's been so looong!!! I can feel myself aging without you! Hope this letter finds you well! Notice how I used "beloved"? Fancy huh? Arn't I just the most romantic partner ever? (don't answer that.) This is my fifth time trying to write this and it's annoying the crew so this is my last chance before they jump me... It's just so hard y'know!? It has to be perfect. Perfect for you. Is that cringe? That was cringe sorry! I miss you lots and I think about you all the time... You'd love Petra! A camel ate my shemagh... but It's whatever. I'll buy a new one tomorrow, I'll get one for you too so don't worry! Now that I'm thinking about it the days seem to be going by pretty slow and I'm not sure if I like it much. Like I said I miss you a lot and it stinks being away from you for this long. Can't you just book a flight over here? Can't you do that for me pretty pleaseee? That's ridiculous? Okay just say you hate me and never want me to come back, just say you don't love me at all and want me to get stuck in a cave foreva. Just kidding! or am I?... (I am! >ᴗ<)

I like to imagine you’re missing me really bad counting down the seconds till I get back, which by the way I am too so don’t feel the need to deny it! I can see it now… You all shriveled up like a raisin crawling on the floor going “sloannn… sloannnn…” because of how bad you miss me hehe. Just kidding again! It’s probably the opposite let’s be real… I’m going insane without you seriously, I started talking to the hieroglyphics yesterday and the crew even caught me tasting some rocks earlier (sos!!!!)

But speaking of, they’re rushing me to “turn the lights off already” what a bunch of buzzkills ammarite? Promise to show up in my dreams okay? Who am I kidding, you’re always there regardless. Sweet dreams ᥫ᭡ᥫ᭡

p.s they really wanna meet you!

p.p.s take care okay? I’ll be home before you know it!!!

Yours truly,

(so romantic!!!)

“(๑´>᎑<)~*”

[the1975attheirverybest]

Being Funny In A Foreign Language

Chapter 8- Sorry Bout The Bomb Thing….

A/N: okay so wax play will be in the next chapter cuz plot reasons. Two more chapters to go!

Warnings: kinky smut.

———

Matty’s ears rung with a persistent pressure and the faint echoes of last night’s live show. He could still hear the crowds cheering, calling out his name; remnants of Waugh’s saxophone honking, muffled, as though filled with water, played in the background of his mind. This was a soundscape that Matty had grown accustomed to– welcomed, even– but in the solitary confinement of his hotel bedroom, he found it unnerving. Trapped him in a liminal space between the stage and reality.

He poured himself a cup of coffee, sitting down at the dining table to resume his idle scrolling.

Not Matty Healy trying to justify his white savior complex with a rant onstage…Lmao, homie didn’t even make sense half the time.

Matty Healy playing the victim talking about almost getting imprisoned in Malaysia. What else do you expect when you disrespect their culture? A colonizer thank you card?

MH just tryna cover up the fact that Malaysia was a temper tantrum over TS

Matty felt the bile in his stomach rise back up; his chest tightening; his vision blurring. He couldn’t bring himself to click on the ‘news’ articles that he was tagged in– their titles containing his name– and find out what industry professionals had to say about this whole thing, so he changed to his messages instead.

Matty:

hey

in town for msg soon

you around?

Lilly

Yeah! For a couple days anyway… wanna come over for a drink sometime?

Matty

Are you free right now?

****

Matty watched, proudly, as Lilly’s legs twitched around his arm. Judging by the fact that he’d rendered her breathless, he was pretty satisfied that he’d done his job right. He pulled his fingers out of her and brought them to his lips for a taste, sucking wetly. She reached out, lazily grabbing at his shirt in an effort to pull him closer.

“Your turn now.” she whispered, before pulling him in by the collar of his shirt to kiss him.

Though Matty had been receptive to her touch, responding to the kiss with eager lips, his mind raced with panic. He couldn’t feel anything. And not just below the belt, he just wasn’t excited at all. Why wasn’t he excited? Is there something wrong with his body? Is he physically ill? Is he gradually losing all of his drive?

Lily unbuttoned his jeans and Matty wondered how he’d found himself in this same situation with two different women. His body stiffened, he attempted to reach for her hands, but it was too late.

“Oh.” Lily looked down at his lap then back at him. “I- sorry. I didn’t realize that…you didn’t wanna- ummm. I’d just assumed you wanted to have sex. Cuz, you asked to come over and-“

“I did! I do! I want to….i just might- need a minute?” His eyes darted around the room as he spoke.

Lily smiled, “oh, alright. I can help you relax.”

Her hands roamed his body, running her fingers down his chest, sensually, before deciding to undress him. Matty closed his eyes, laying down and attempting to focus on the present moment. Despite his (and lily’s) best efforts, though, he couldn’t get out of his own head.

“Still nothing, huh?” Lily had asked when she’d finally kissed her way down his body. Something, she’d assumed, would’ve given him enough time to get into the right mood.

“I mean, hey, if you’re not in the mood, it’s no problem, really! We could just watch tv-“

“No! No, no. I am in the mood. Erm, but could I ask you to do something- I mean…can we try something different?”

“What’d you have in mind?”

Matty pointed to his discarded jeans. “Do you see my belt over there?”

***

“Are you sure it won’t be a problem? You’re already pretty bruised.”

Matty flipped over onto his back, briefly, to assure her one last time. “Those bruises are old now. They look more dramatic than they feel, I promise.”

She shrugged. “If you say so…alright. Ready?”

Matty closed his eyes, burying his face into the bedding as pain rained down on him. He tried to conjure up memories of the last time that someone had whipped him bloody, thinking back to Amelia. His hand reached between his body and the duvet, grabbing himself and trying not to call out another woman’s name in Lily’s presence.

***

Matty stared up at the ceiling fan as it rotated, on low mode, and tried to catch his breath. Out of the corner of his eye, he could tell that Lily had approached him with a glass of water, but he hadn’t yet regain full control of his body again. He couldn’t will himself to move. She didn’t seem to mind, though. Happy to accommodate him, she sat on the bed next to him, arranging a wall of pillows to prop him on. “Can you sit up for me?”

The question, surprisingly, made him nervous. He snapped out of his ceiling-fan-induced hypnosis and quickly jolted, sitting up before she could lend him a hand.

“Yeah, yeah….thanks.” He accepted the glass of water, gulping it down. “Sorry.” He mumbled, leaning over her to set the now empty glass down onto the nightstand.

“What for?”

He shrugged. “Don’ know.”

“What’s going on with you?” Lily placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and it took everything in him not to brush it off.

“Nothin’s goin’ on. Just…tired. And- I— think I need a cig. And a glass of wine or something.”

She laughed, shaking her head and shuffling off the bed once more. “Coming right up. And then you’ll tell me what’s really going on cuz that wasn’t what I was asking about.”

***

“So…” Lily exhaled the smoke out of her lungs, putting the end of her cigarette out in the ashtray between them. “Let me get this straight…you’re in love with her, but she’s with someone else?”

Matty blushed, fiddling with the stem of his wine glass.

“She offered to break up with the guy. But you made friends with him. And now you like him too much. So you gave up your guitar — which was like the equivalent of half your soul— just so he can surprise her and take credit for the surprise?”

Matty took a large sip of his drink just to have something else to focus on.

“Oh, and also you guys are sleeping together because one time your dick didn’t work and you cried about it in front of her. Am I getting this right?”

Matty’s eyes evaded her, smiling in embarrassment, “that’s…the gist of it, yeah.”

“Okay, I’m glad I got it right cuz,” she picked up a pillow, throwing it at his face, narrowly missing her target, “what the fuck is wrong with you, dude?!!! Why are you even here? In my bed instead of hers??”

“Oh, so you want me to leave, then? Fine, I’ll leave.” Matty attempted to move but she instantly grabbed his arm.

“You’re not going anywhere….and what do your friends think about your genius behavior?”

“Who? the boys? Well…..they’ve all given different versions of, like, ‘you either tell her how you feel or you move on’ sort of.”

“And you’ve done neither.”

Matty nodded.

“Instead, you guys are sleeping together.”

Lily fell silent. She refilled her glass first, then she topped off Matty’s as well.

“I can see that you’re dying to say something.” He looked her straight in the eyes. “Out with it!”

“You’re just so dumb.” Lily smiled. “Men are so dumb. Speaking of men…..have you seen a doctor about your….’bedroom issues’ ?”

“Mhm”

“And?”

“Well, I haven’t called about test results. So, I don’t know.”

“Matty-“

“I know, I know….”

Matty’s heart raced, his face felt warm; he blamed it on the wine. Spoke again before he could stop himself. “It’s just….i think I know what they’re gonna say.”

“The results?”

“It’s all in my head. It’s…it’s stress or psychological or whatever the fuck.” He sighed. “I mean, not to be that guy, but look at me. I’m the picture of health. I got that shit under control for tour and stuff-“

“I have noticed the, shall we say, ‘fitness level’ ?”

“Lily, are you flirting with m-“

“No. Don’t- change the subject!”

Matty chuckled. “Not changin’ anything. I’m just- I know that it’s my state of mind. I haven’t been….well- I haven’t been myself.”

Lily snatched the wine glass out of his hand, setting both of their drinks, and the bottle, aside to get his full attention. “And what’re you gonna do about it?”

“I-“

“Besides ignoring it completely, I mean.”

Matty shrugged.

“Have you been to therapy? Have you….seen a psychiatrist?” She watched the look on his face. “Don’t! Don’t you roll your eyes at me. Don’t do that. That’s what guys do. It’s so childish!”

Matty had been determined to ignore her remarks until he heard the word ‘childish.’ Now, he was invested. “What the fuck do you mean ‘childish’? Just cuz I don’t need everything that’s ever made me an individual to be pathologized and medicated, doesn’t mean I’m being childish.”

Lily had had this conversation too many times before. She’d lost count of how many men get offended by their own flaws. She was over doing the gentle thing, holding their hand, and walking them through the thought process to help them come to the realization on their own. “Has it ever occurred to you that, oh- I don’t know- that maybe .your new show, your repressed love, all of the self punishment, and all that is just because you’d rather be dramatic and theatrical and do a huge arena tour than say how you feel?”

“You underestimate me, Lillian.”

“My name is Elizabeth.” She giggled.

“What?” Matty’s eyebrows shot up. “No fuckin way. ‘Lily’ is short for Elizabeth?”

“Yeah it’s mostly that I think ‘Elizabeth’makes me sound like a 76 year old widow.”

***

Amelia bit her lower lip smiling at Matty from across the room. He knew what that sly look meant.

“Come with me.” Giggling as she led them towards the storage room in the back of the venue.

Matty liked giving her complete control, doing as she says, being a mess at her feet. He relished in the opportunity.

“Whe-where would you like me this time?”

“Just stay standing.” Amelia surveyed the cramped room full of boxes for a moment, “you can lean against the wall if you need it this time.”

Reminding him of the last time that she’d sucked him off in the party bathroom, causing him to fall to his knees.

“Thank you.” He squeaked. He was already slipping into submission. Already pliant and malleable for her.

“Lose the clothes.” She demanded.

“A-all the way?”

“Yes. And hurry. Tobias will probably be looking for us soon.”

Matty stumbled as he kicked off his shoes, and rushed to peel his jeans off, aware of her eyes on him.

“Matty? Turn around for me, would you?”

His heart sank, dreading what was about to happen. Reluctantly, he did as she’d asked and turned all the way in a circle.

“These marks….they look fresh. What- when-“

“I- have to tell you something.” He pulled his pants back up, wincing as the fabric brushed his bum. “I- erm, I broke one of the rules.”

Amelia already knew where this was going. “Which one?”

“I- I had an orgasm- without your permission.” Matty looked down at the floor as he spoke. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, his mouth felt dry.

Amelia’s face remained unreadable. “When?”

“La- last night.” He wished the earth under his feet could split and swallow him whole.

“Is that what those marks are from?”

He nodded slowly.

“They look pretty bad, have you looked after yourself? Disinfected the places with deeper cuts and-“

“No. I… I sort of, erm, stayed the night at her place and then came straight here. Haven’t had a chance to do anything.”

“She did this to you and then left you there? No aftercare?”

“No, no! Don’t say that! She’s not like that! She tried- but, erm, I wouldn’t let her.”

Amelia didn’t like the tightening in her chest that she felt as she listened to Matty defend another woman. She couldn’t quite figure out what she felt, but she had bigger, more important concerns at this moment.

“There’s a first aid kit in the tour bus bathroom, right?” Her face and tone unchanged, withholding.

Matty nodded.

“Let’s go then.”

***

Amelia gathered her supplies and set them on the bed in Matty’s tour bus bedroom. “Right then. Drop your pants and turn around.”

“I can do this myself, you know.”

“I didn’t ask. Turn around, Matty, c’mon.”

Not wanting to defy her any more than he already has, Matty complied. Amelia used her most delicate touch throughout. Slow and gentle, careful not to cause him any unnecessary pain, and pausing multiple times when she felt her hand falter. Matty pressed his lips together tightly, swallowing any and all whimpers or expressions of pain. He didn’t want her to feel bad. Not when she’s going out of her way to take care of him.

“Who is she?” Amelia heard herself ask.

“Just- ah! Shit…” he let out a groan as the antiseptic touched an open wound. “Just a friend I see whenever I’m in New York.”

“Do I know her?”

“N-no. She, erm….you two have never met.”

Amelia l withdrew for a moment as a sharp sting of jealousy washed over her. She didn’t know what she was most upset by, the fact that he slept with another woman, the fact that he’d let another woman hurt him — given her control

Over his body, trusting her to do what he needed— or the fact that she’d made him cum and got to see his beautiful, vulnerable body experiencing pleasure. Amelia was well aware that she had no right to be upset here. After all, she has a boyfriend. It wouldn’t be fair to expect Matty not to date or see anyone else while she carried on with her life. Still, she felt an unsettling ownership over him. And, she was now learning that she did not like to share.

She resumed her disinfecting, accidentally heavy-handedly, and saw Matty’s whole body flinch, a whimper of pain escaped him despite his best efforts to remain quiet.

“S-sorry.” He mumbled.

To his surprise, Amelia ran a gentle hand down his leg, attempting to comfort him.

“I know it hurts. It’s okay. Promise we’re almost done, alright?”

“Thank you.”

She smiled “let me know if you need me to stop, yeah? We can take a little break if you need it.”

Her words brought tears to his eyes.

“You’re mad at me.” Matty simply stated. “You’re mad at me. I broke the rules and you’re upset with me.”

He heard her unpack the bandages in silence.

“I’m gonna be punished for this, right?” He asked when she wouldn’t speak.

“I don’t know yet.” She pulled his clothes back on for him, delicately, making sure the waistband doesn’t come into contact with any of his sensitive injuries along the way.

“Amelia, I’m so sorry. I- I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Done what? Sleep with someone else? Why not? I do it!” She turned away from him, contemplating leaving the bus.

“Should’ve at least told you. Or asked you for permission. I- I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.”

She couldn’t bring herself to walk out on him. She sighed, turning back around. “I don’t wanna talk about this right now. Let me decide on my own. Now, since you didn’t get any aftercare, are you feeling okay? Do you need anything? If you’re experiencing any sub-“

“I’m okay. I promise. I’m perfectly fine. And I’m so sorry.”

Amelia stood there, frustrated, her head spinning, not quite knowing how to feel, or how she should feel.

“Would it - be okay if I hugged you?” Matty asked, his eyes pleading with her.

He took the small smile on her face as a yes and rushed to cling to her.

“You’re just so…” she felt speechless, wrapping her arms around him.

“I know, I know. I’m the fuckin worst.”

***

Several days, and tour stops, went by without Matty and Amelia crossing paths. She still attended every show, watching him come to life onstage every night to perform for his audience. Often getting caught in a moment with someone in the crowd, crying or laughing with them. Always, without fail, having the boys behind him. Even on his worst days, Matty always gave his job everything that he could. That much was guaranteed. It was off-stage Matty that troubled her. And troubled him. So, while they both did their jobs, attended meetings, carried on with business as usual, she hadn’t found herself knocking at his door late at night in quite some time.

Matty laid in bed late at night, still waiting, hoping tonight would be the night that she’d come back to him. As more and more nights went by with his hopes still unfulfilled, he would fall asleep thinking about Lily’s suggestion —or accusation, really — that he wasn’t channeling or processing his feelings with work, but repressing them. He wondered if his night with Lily fell into the same category. He wondered why he’d even gone over there at all. He would give anything to undo it. To have Amelia back in his bed.

Struggling to fall asleep, he decided to go down to the hotel lobby, get a drink, and if his brain was still functioning, perhaps do some work. He grabbed his leather jacket out of the closet on his way out, patting his pockets to check that he had his room card and cigarettes before leaving. When Matty opened the door, he found Amelia, standing there, looking up at him.

“Amelia!” He could burst with joy. “You’re here!”

She looked behind her, to make sure nobody could see them, then rushed into his room.

“Amelia, I- I have wanted to apologize, but I just can’t find the words to-“

She placed a finger to his lips, silencing him.

“I didn’t come here to talk, I came here so you’d get me off, so shut up and get on your knees.”

Matty wasn’t sure if that meant that she’d forgiven him or not, but he wasted no time in doing as he told. Eager to please her, and to show, if not tell, her how sorry he is.

***

A content Amelia reached between her thighs, grabbing Matty by the roots of his hair and pulling his head back, away from her cunt. She was still slightly out of breath from the orgasm that his mouth had given her and she enjoyed seeing his lips and chin glisten too.

“Look at me.” She commanded.

Matty’s eyes instantly met hers, his gaze unsure, humble.

“There’s my good whore.” She smiled, “it’s what you are, isn’t it? A whore? That’s what they call someone who’s happy to be spanked with his own built by just about anybody. Isn’t that right?”

Matty panicked, his thoughts racing. No! That’s not right! It’s much more complicated than that. Besides, it’s not like it was all the same to him. What he feels with her is different. Much more intimate. With Lilly, it was just sex. An attempt to prove to himself and his body that he could still feel it with other people. He learned the opposite of what he’d hoped to learn from sleeping with someone else. But he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to defend himself. Besides, she said she wasn’t interested in discussing this, and he didn’t want to risk her leaving again.

“Y-yeah. I am a whore.” It pained him to say. “Your whore.”

She let go of his hair, but he stayed in place.

“Oh don’t play that game with me, Matty.” She scuffed. “I bet you say that to all the women who force you to submit to them.”

Briefly, he considered prostrating himself on the floor and begging her to believe him. To accept his apology. But before he could throw himself on the floor, she’d reached into his underwear and pulled out his half-hardened cock.

He gasped, feeling her wrap her hand around his length, and squeeze, ever so slightly. His eyes fluttered shut, his jaw slack.

Amelia leaned forward and spat, using her own saliva as lube, she quickened her pace, pleased to see his arousal grow.

“Tell me something, Matty.” She spoke, still stroking him. “Did she jerk you off too? Hmm?”

“Wha-what?” His eyes shot open.

“The girl you slept with. You let her take control; what else did you give her? Did she suck you off? Did she fuck you? Did you fuck her?”

Matty struggled to remain focused, his self control was all dedicated to not cuming before she allowed him to. “What- no, no. I - promise- none of that….fuck, Amelia, you’re gonna make me— I didn’t— she didn’t. No fucking… nothing happened… ah, darling, please believe me- fuckkk I’m so close!”

“Somehow, I find that hard to believe.”

“I- promise… Amelia. Please, Angel, may I come?”

“No.”

“I- promise. No matter what. No- ohhh shit- matter…who I’m with or not….you call and I’ll come runnin.’ You’ve got me. You- please!!!- can have me whenever you want.”

“You wanna cum?”

“So, so bad. Please darling may I?”

“Go for it.” Amelia instantly took her hand away, leaving him with a ruined orgasm.

She left him to writhe on the floor, listening to him cry out and beg, as she got dressed. “That’s for cumming without my permission.”

Barely coherent, Matty nodded. “Thank- you, for my punishment.” His legs still twitching.

“Oh, you think that was the end of your punishment? Sweet boy; I’ve barely started.”

As she made her way out of his room, Amelia wondered if what she’d done crossed a line. Was she hurting him with malice? Laying hands on him in anger? He always told her that was the basic rule of dominance and submission. You never do it out of aggression. She wasn’t entirely sure if what she’d put him through was for his sake or out of jealousy. Deep down, a piece of her was still upset with him for sleeping with someone else. She hated that.

***

Amelia pushed him into the supply closet, wasting no time in crashing her lips against his.

“You heard back from the doctors yet?”

He shook his head.

“Cuz you’re already hard for me. You’re an anomaly.”

Matty chuckled. “fuckin tell me about it.”

His eyes shot wide open, his lips stifling a gasp as he felt her hand wrap around the base of his cock. “Remind me again what we’re doing?”

“Puh- pun- punishment. For me.” He managed between pants.

“And why is that?” She changed up the rhythm, grinning when the surprise made him jolt.

“Cuz- I- didn’t- i broke the rules. Let myself have an orgasm without your permission.”

Matty felt his knees begin to buckle. He pushed his head back, leaning against the wall for support. Amelia thought the look of his throat slightly bobbing as he swallowed harshly was the most mesmerizing thing she’d ever seen.

“That’s right.” She snapped out of her hypnotic state “you get edged. Everyday. And you have no idea when I’m going to let you cum. All you can do is beg. While you take it.”

“Please, darling, I- may I cum?” His droopy eyes struggled to remain fixed on her, but he tried his best, he wanted her to see the need in his eyes and to know that he was being genuine when he said that he really, really needed it.

Amelia’s free hand tugged on his balls, slightly, the sudden sensation making him moan and lurch forward. “Fuuuckk!!”

Matty’s knees buckled, he crumbled to the floor, but, rather than give him a break, Amelia simply crouched down in front of him, continuing to edge him. She circled his pre-cum covered tip, admiring the way that his hips bucked desperately.

“Please- please, please, my love. I- need it, Amelia- I’m so, so close…”

She smiled to herself. She knew he was desperate, but enough to pull out ‘my love?’ He was so adorable when he relinquished control.

“You better hold it. You understand?” She changed up her rhythm.

“Ahhh! Fuck!” He cried out. “I- I will, I’m trying.”

“Hush! You’re being too loud. We’re gonna get caught.” She wrapped her hand around his neck, tightening her grip in an attempt to silence him, it was the last push that Matty needed to get him over the edge.

He panicked, trying desperately to warn her, but his voice only a mere squeal as she choked him, he thrashed helplessly, using every ounce of self restraint left in his exhausted and overstimulated body to keep from cumming. Luckily, Amelia had learned his body’s cues well enough by now. She knew he’d reached his peak and she let go before he could lose control loosening her hold on his throat as well.

His rock- hard cock twitched against his stomach, the blood rushing through his veins, his entire body felt sensitive, from head to toe, the pain of a ruined orgasm almost unbearable. He mewled softly, his naked thighs trembling, tears welling his eyes.

“Awww, Matty.” Amelia couldn’t fight the urge to comfort him, feeling a bit too guilty for denying him yet another release. Her hand cupped his face. She was a bit worried when he flinched.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Matty nodded. Unable to speak. Still fighting for breath.

She settled next to him on the floor. Pulling him into her side, her arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“You good?” She asked once his breathing had finally evened out.

“Yeah.” He smiled, tiredly.

“Was that….too much?”

Matty shook his head.

“I didn’t wanna go too hard on you. Cuz we’ve got to get back to work soon. We can’t have you being a mess right now…but, your eyes- you look a bit gone.”

Matty’s body shook against hers as he laughed silently. “It’s just what human eyes look like at arousal. I’m fine.”

“Let’s get you dressed.” She mumbled, reaching for his clothes and helping to button up his shirt over his chest.

Matty’s clammy hands struggled with the waistband of his briefs.

“I’ve got it, it’s okay. I’ll hold it for you.” She lent him a hand. “Got your shoes? Good. Let’s go.”

“Think I just need a minute. You go. I’ll be right behind you in a bit.” He smiled up at her hugging his knees.

“What? No. I’ll wait with you.”

“I’m okay, Amelia. I promise. I just need a minute to come down and collect myself.”

“Well.” She sat back down by his side. “Take your time. I’ll just keep you company.” He took his hand in hers, squeezing it and laying it in her lap.

“You’re a menace, you know that?” He kissed her cheek.

They sat in silence for a moment. Matty soon felt impatient and pulled out his phone.

“Memes already?” Amelia shook her head, “you’re the most unserious man I’ve ever met.”

“I- just- need something to distract me while I come down from all of this” he gestured, loosely, towards the marks she’d left all over his body. “You know I can’t sit still.”

She smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek. His skin was hot, red, and he was still shaky.

“Wanna see some funny stuff?” He moved the screen to be in between them.

“Okay, but no minions. Only YOU find those funny.”

As they scrolled through, alternating between Twitter and Instagram, and giggling, they slowly found themselves stumbling over the wrong side of the internet. First, it was,

Matty Healy is ugly, racist, sexist, oh and did I mention ugly?

Then,

Matty Healy needs to stop speaking over marginalized people with his white guy “trying to help” energy. It’s giving colonialism.

Amelia rolled her eyes, interfering to scroll past, when Matty had paused to check the reply thread. But, soon enough, they stumbled upon,

The drugs that mh used to be on must have melted his brain cuz wtf is this?

“I suppose that’s enough screen time.” Matty chuckled, setting the phone down in his lap.

“Matty…”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You’re not. And that’s okay-“

“I don’t care. Whatever.”

Amelia looked down at his lap, the phone screen getting progressively dimmer. She grinned when a thought crossed her mind and picked up his phone.

“Amelia?”

Matty watched her thumbs move as she tapped the keyboard, seemingly typing something.

Matty Healy is ugly, racist, sexist, oh and did I mention ugly?

I’d make like your receding hairline and back away if I were you. You’re in no position to speak.

She smiled, satisfied, and scrolled on.

Matty Healy needs to stop speaking over marginalized people with his white you trying to help energy. It’s giving colonialism.

At least he’s helping. What’re YOU doing? Besides being an idiot on the internet, I mean.

“Jesus Christ, Amelia!” Matty attempted to claw the phone out of her grip, but she simply scooted away. “Amelia; stop!”

“What? This is a burner account right?”

“Yeah, but that’s not the point!”

She wasn’t paying attention long enough for him to make his point, she’d gone back to typing.

Here, I’ve linked the definition of colonialism for you. Maybe your Twitter brain rot will actually teach you a new word today!

The drugs that mh used to be on must have melted his brain cuz wtf is this?

Using someone’s addiction against them? Not very woke activist progressive brave of you, is it? He could outsmart you in his sleep, btw. Don’t worry about his brain. Worry about yours.

“Alright that’s enough clapping back for you, give me that phone.”

“But I’m having fun!”

It occurred to Matty that he’s much stronger, and larger, than she is. So he hovered over her, doing his best to appear intimidating. But looking into her eyes always made him weak.

“Give me that phone, Amelia.”

“Make me.”

“Alright, but you’re gonna be sorry you asked for it.”

***

Their rendezvous continued for a few more weeks. They found themselves fallen into a routine. One suggestive look, or nod, was enough to signal that it’s time to surreptitiously leave, and meet someplace private. There wasn’t a position of surface that Amelia hadn’t tried to bend Matty over, or prop him on. He was never allowed to touch. Neither himself nor her as she worked him up, bringing him to the brink of an orgasm, only to pull away when he most needed her. She’d sucked him off on her knees, taken to riding him to get herself off, and on one occasion, even tried a vibrator on the tip of his cock to keep him stimulated while tied up.

It seemed to work. At least as long as she watched him cry and beg for her, she felt certain that she had a hold on him. That she could prove it to herself. Not only that, but Matty was making progress on most days. He still had his setbacks and moments of frustration. And he would get punished for those, firmly. But he did his best to remain on track. Getting back to his routines and even attempting to eat properly. So, for all intents and purposes, this system of theirs, seemed to serve its purpose. That is, until, backstage in his dressing room, Amelia had accidentally pushed him too far.

Matty looked down at his own lap, pent up frustration bubbling within his chest. He felt his eyes sting with tears, his hazy brain, already struggling to find its bearings, began to spin. He sat back down on the couch that he and Amelia had just been lying on, his warm, naked body sticking to the leather.

“I- made a mess.” He announced, his voice filled with emotion. “I- swear I didn’t feel good. Really! But I- I couldn’t stop fast enough” He felt ridiculous for tearing up. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Amelia turned around, concerned, not so much by what he said, but by how he’d sounded when he said it.

“Oh.” Amelia smiled, at the sight of cum dripping down his stiff dick. “Did you spill over a little bit.” She giggled.

Matty nodded, frowning.

“It’s alright. We’ll get you cleaned up. There’s a shower at the end of the hall, yeah?”

Matty didn’t seem to be listening. “I- promise I felt nothing. It didn’t feel good or anything- I still hurt. I promise. Really. Honest!”

To demonstrate how obvious it was, Amelia swiped her finger over his tip, watching him wince and shudder . “Yeah, I see that.”

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Matty. It was an accident. And it doesn’t count as a real orgasm, you didn’t get any pleasure or release out of it, so.”

When she glanced at him and saw his face, her attitude changed. “Oh, babe. You’re really upset about this, aren’t you?”

“Sorry. It’s really dumb. I just- I wanna be good. I wanna do as you tell me to.”

“You are, Matty! You’re so good. You take your punishment really well. It’s been - well, weeks. I mean, when’s the last time that you were edged like that without an orgasm at all?”

“N-never.”

“Exactly. Frankly, I’m impressed you’ve lasted this long. I haven’t exactly made it easy on you. You get what I’m saying?” She smiled at him but she could tell that he wasn’t persuaded. “Okay, why dont we wait a bit. You’ll take some deep breaths. calm down. Then we’ll go take a shower, yeah?”

Though Amelia had done and said everything to comfort him, Matty still had a nagging feeling in the back of his head that he’d fucked up. He’d nearly lost control, a difference of seconds could’ve made him a failure. His entire body felt out of control. He couldn’t get a grip all day. And it was obvious. To Amelia, at least. He wasn’t his usual, adrenalin-fueled ball of energy when working, he wasn’t making as many jokes or engaged in conversation. He moved slower, stumbled over his words more, and seemed anxious and afraid of everything.

Doing her best not to draw any attention to this change in his demeanor, Amelia tried all the subtle ways that she could think of comforting him. She remained close by, throughout the day, sitting next to him whenever possible, resting a hand on his back, bringing him food and water to make sure he wasn’t skipping any meals. She wasn’t sure if Matty had registered her attempts or understood that they were meant to reassure him, but she did it as much for her own peace of mind as for his. She hated knowing that he was disoriented and struggling. She hated knowing that it was because of something she had done to him. She couldn’t stand the fact that she’s unable to give him a hug or hold his hand right then and there without it being a major concern to everyone in the room.

So, if she couldn’t wrap her arms around him protectively and kiss all over his face, whisper reassurances into his ear, and let him know that he’s alright, she was going to settle for checking in with him throughout the day, bringing him food, refilling his water, placing a gentle hand over his arm whenever she noticed him retreating into his own head. Nobody seemed to notice the shift in her behavior, or if they did, nobody made it known. Except for Joshua.

“Is Matty okay?” He’d asked as soon as they were alone.

“What? Yeah…he’s- he’s fine. Just going through some stuff.”

Joshua made a vague humming sound that acknowledged her response as his eyebrows crossed. “He’s a good guy. Hope he feels better soon.” He held the door open for Amelia to walk through.

“Yeah…”

“Anyway, there’s a restaurant that Jamie told me about. Think we should try it while we’re in town. Wanna go out for dinner tonight?”

Amelia hated herself for what she was about to say. She hated doing this. But how could she not? “I- uhhh…can’t tonight. I think I’m gonna spend the night across the hall at Matty’s-“

“Again?!”

“I’m sorry! I know. We’ve hardly had alone time this week. But…I’m worried about him. I don’t think he should be alone right now.”

Joshua’s face dropped. “Can’t one of the boys hang out with him for a few hours?”

“I promised him that I would.” She lied.

“Right….” Joshua nodded. He took a long moment to accept his fate. “Alright then. Some other time maybe.”

Amelia felt awful letting him down. But she’d found herself in a position where she would inevitably let someone down, no matter who she chose. She reached for his hand. “I’m so sorry, Joshua. Maybe you could still go? Like with someone else?”

Joshua thought about it for a moment. “George mentioned being interested.”

“Great! I’m sure he’d love to go with you!”

He forced himself to soften and put on a smile, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah George is a cool dude. It’d be a good time.”

“Great, so, you’ll go?”

“I’ll go. With George.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek.

Watching him walk away, Amelia felt a knot in her stomach. What had she done?

***

“Are you going to punish me?” Matty asked, as soon as they sat on the bed.

“Punish you ? What for?”

He shifted in his place. “Well- earlier- I…”

“You didn’t break any rules, Matty. It was an accident. You get that, right?”

He nodded but rather than looking relieved, he seemed disappointed.

“Matty, look at me. What is it? What’re you thinking right now?”

“It’s just- I know it was an accident. But…it wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t perfect. And….this whole thing is supposed to be punishment for- when I fucked up and slept with someone else.”

Amelia reached an arm out, “come here for a second. Listen, remember what we said about rewards and punishments? How they’re meant to motivate you to steer away from certain things and towards others?”

He nodded

“Well, in addition to just being fun.” She winked, jokingly. “That’s why these rules only apply to things and behaviors that you can control. An accident is unintentional. You didn’t mean to. And you couldn’t have stopped it. Your body reacted reflexively. What would be the point of punishing you for that?”

Matty smiled, as a few stray tears rolled down his eyes. “Fuck. This is so silly. Why am I crying?” He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.

“It’s not silly. It’s okay.” Amelia held his face in her hand, pulling him to her chest. “Matty, I think…I mean, I have to ask if these aren’t subdrop symptoms? You’ve been a bit off all day.”

Matty shrugged. “Don’t know. Maybe. Could be.”

She kissed his head, slowly separating between their bodies so she could get off the bed. “Well, then, you stay there and relax. Let me take care of you.”

“You’ve been taking care of me all day-“

“So? I’ll do it all night, too.”

Her smile melted his heart. If he was being real, in one form or another, Amelia has been taking care of him for weeks. And the effort wasn’t lost on him. His gratitude was impossible to put into words. He really wanted to get better. If not for himself, then for her. So she didn’t have to feel like her support was in vain.

When Amelia jumped back on the bed, she’d brought her box of recently purchased sex toys with her, and matty felt a shiver run down his spine at the realization. What on earth was she planning to do to him tonight? The look in his eyes made her giggle. They both knew they were in for a ride.

“Gonna undress you now, okay?”

“More than okay.” He grinned.

***

“Matty?” Amelia called out his name when she felt that he was zoning out. “Have you had enough? It’s been a while. We can stop if you’re done.”

Matty shook his head. “No, no. I’m okay. Sorry I’ve gone quiet. I’m alright, though.”

She looked down at the hickeys and love bites that she’d left all over him, surveying her handiwork.

“For this next bit, you won’t be quiet, I promise you.” Her smile was almost menacing. “But first, open your mouth for me.”

Matty obeyed instantly.

“You know what to do,” she stuck her fingers into his open mouth. “Suck. Like your life depends on it. Cuz that’s the only lube you’ll be getting.”

Matty’s eyes widened as he fervently sucked on her fingers, hollowing his cheeks, gagging, tears running down his throat, and drool down his chin.

“Alright that’s it. Good enough.”

Amelia paused, admiring how beautiful he looked with his face flushed, his lips wet and pink, panting for breath.

“You did good, Matty.” She said.

Matty smiled, shyly looking away. But she could tell that he reveled in her compliment. It was kind of odd but extremely endearing to her that she could say the filthiest things to him and he wouldn’t bat an eye, but a simple word of praise flustered him endlessly. He always seemed surprised to find out that she was happy with him. It almost broke her heart.

“Ready?”

He nodded.

“You can tap out at any time, you know that, right?”

“Mhm. I- I do. Can you…erm, hold my hand? Please?”

she never knew why that was so important to him, something he asks for frequently, and often did with her even when he was the one in control. But she never questioned it. “Yeah, sure.”

She used her wet fingers to tease his hole, listening to him gasp and moan as he made a deliberate effort to stay relaxed. His hand squeezed hers when he felt her first finger slowly push its tip into him.

“Ohh fuck!” He cried out. His eyes falling shut.

“Feel okay?”

“Mhm, yeah, yeah.” He nodded enthusiastically. “Just…tight. It’s been a minute.” Blushing at his own words.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

Matty seemed to grow more comfortable as she went on, slowly and cautiously pushing deeper into it him.

“Never done this on my- ohh Christ!- on my back. Before- fuckin hellll.” He whined. “F- feels- uhh…intense.”

“You wanna change positions?”

He was tempted to say yes, eager to hide his face away or get on all fours. But feeling vulnerable and exposed like this was new. He wanted to challenge himself. To take this step with her. “No, I- think I’m okay.”

“Sounds like you’re ready for a second finger.”

Matty whimpered, feeling his stiff cock twitch, his words getting caught in his throat, chest growing tight. “Oh, A- Amelia…that-“

“I love when you say my name like that.”

“I love- you- r name.”

She giggled. “Matty, honey, I don’t think you know what you’re saying at this point.”

Once satisfied that his body had adjusted,she abruptly pulled her fingers out of his asshole.

“N-no! That’s - I- why?” He complained.

“You’re so greedy, gosh.” She swatted at his chest lightly. “Because I’ve got this,” reaching over into the box and pulling out. Strap-on.

“Oh fuck.” Matty simply let out.

“As much as I would relish seeing you suck dick, I’m kind of excited to rail you until you break. So, maybe next time.” She squirted a generous glop of lube onto the toy, coating it evenly.

Matty was quickly rendered a crying, moaning, mess. Not that Amelia was bothered by it. She’d momentarily lost herself, admiring the way that he clenched around the artificial cock, the way that the you stretched him out, the way that his entire body responded to that pressure, his legs shaking, his cock bubbling with pre-cum. She slid in and out of him, listening for the beautiful sounds that came from his lips every time.

She knelt down, placing a soft kiss to his hip tattoo before holding on to both of his hips for more control and speeding up her pace.

Matty cried louder, his moans, and attempted thanks punctuated by her thrusts.

“Look at me, baby.” Amelia chuckled. He couldn’t hear her over his own voice. “Eyes on me, sweet boy.” Despite her attempts, matty seemed completely unaware of her commands. She just wanted to make sure he wasn’t too overwhelmed but she let him be.

She began to thrust harder, watching as a fresh wave of tears ran down his face. She had no idea that side of her existed, but now that it was out there, she was having a lot of fun. “Go ahead and touch yourself, Matty.” She said once his voice had disappeared from screaming.

“Really?” He attempted to speak, his throat hoarse.

“Yeah. No waiting; no pain tonight. Just pleasure.”

“You really mean that?”

She laughed. “You deserve to feel good, Matty. Go on, darling.”

Amelia watched his hand shake and slip a few times as she pushed into him forcefully. “You want me to get you off?” She offered.

“Y- yes please? Your hand feels better.”

“Flatterer.”

It didn’t take much to get him over the edge. After all, he’d been there all week.

“I can cum? Right now?”

“Cum for me.”

She watched his eyes roll to the back of his head, his entire body trembling harshly as he let go, his release strong and all-consuming. He’d attempted to thank her, but his words soon slurred, and all she heard, was a long, guttural moan.

She slowly pulled out of him, his still-quivering body ached. She heard him wince.

“Matty, love, could you turn on your side for me?”

She helped him lay on his right side before surprising him by thrusting back in. He hadn’t yet recovered from his orgasm, but he held his breath as she slid in.

“M-more?”

“Yeah. Think I’ll keep going. If you can take more.”

“I- I’ll - take whatever you want to do to me.”

“That’s sweet, baby. You’re being so good. But I’m trying to ask if you wanna stop.”

“Want whatever you want.”

She took his hand in hers, bringing it to her lips to kiss his knuckles. “You’re so beautiful.” She smiled gently. “anyway, the reason that I had you flip on your side is because I wanted to see if I could get this angle right. Let me try something.” She adjusted her hips, thrusting hard. A primal scream echoed from him. She’d found the right spot.

“Oh my godddd. Please don’t stop. Yeah, yeah, that’s it. Please, please, please…”

“What’re you begging for, baby?”

“Ohhh….i- I don’t knowww….”

She pushed the phallic toy all the way into his hole, and watched his body spasm around it.

“Sooo. Fuckin. Deep. Ohhhh. Fuckkkk.”

Matty’s toes curled.

“Wanna cum again?”

“Yeah. Yeah please can I?”

“Yeah, let go. Do it.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank youuuu.”

Matty writhed against the bed once more, his neck straining as his back arched off the mattress. He panted and strangled his own screams, but Amelia pounded harder into him, not letting up.

“Gonna go for a third.” She simply stated.

No longer able to speak, let alone protest, Matty simply nodded, before closing his eyes.

“Stay with me, Matty. You’re slipping.”

When he didn’t respond, she slapped his face lightly. “Matty, c’mon. Open those beautiful eyes, let me see you.”

He blinked up at her, slowly, and she knew he was barely present. His head too full of pleasure to process anything.

“Ride me. Go ahead and move your body. Cmon.”

after a longer response time than usual, matty mumbled “can’t. Too tired.”

“Do it, Matty. Cmon.”unwilling to deny her anything, he moved his hips slowly, with considerable difficulty. “Can’t. Too sore.”

“It’s okay, honey. It’s okay.” Was the last thing he heard her say before he blacked out. He felt her push his knees into his chest, allowing her to thrust deeper, his entire body shook as she hit him exactly where he needed most. He attempted a half-hearted beg, but she understood anyway, and gave him permission to cum. The pleasure so good, so strong, that his mind went blank, his body acting on pure instinct. Not a thought in his mind, not a word on his lips, he laid there, shaking, heavy limbed, tears down his cheeks.

Amelia spoke softly, despite the fact that she was certain he wasn’t listening. She talked him through her movements like he so often did with her. “Gonna pull out now.” And when he whimpered in discomfort, she rubbed his legs. “I know, sorry, my love.”

Moments later, she sat next to him. “Gonna just…wipe you clean, okay? Just for now. We’ll get you in the shower soon, yeah?” She moved his body around in various ways to clean him up, and he made no effort to intervene or stop her. It was eerie, a bit concerning, and she would’ve assumed that he was unconscious, if it weren’t for the way that his weak hands attempted to hold hers when she brought a blanket over to cover him with. He was wordlessly asking for a cuddle. And who is she to deny him?

Amelia laid down behind Matty, wrapping her arms around him and pushing their bodies together so his back was right against her chest. Her hands resting on his bare stomach, she would occasionally stroke that skin, or gently scratch it, trying to make sure he feels something physical to ground him.

“Matty, are you with me?”

She felt his hand squeeze hers.

“Good. You’re good, baby. Did so well. I’m glad we did this.” After a moments pause, she spoke again. “Did you feel good?”

He squeezed her hand again.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes. My love, I know that you must be so out of it right now, but I need you to rally, okay? We gotta feed you and maybe take a shower.”

Despite her preemptive words, they remained in bed for a long time. Matty’s tears kept pouring out of him, Amelia held him tighter. He didn’t seem to be able to speak, or perhaps he had nothing to say, so she tried to do the talking for him. Out of helplessness, not knowing how best to comfort him, and out of worry, that she might have hurt him in some way.

“Tonight was a lot, yeah? Three orgasms after being pent up for so long? That had to have been overwhelming.” She whispered. “But you took it so well. Know it must have been difficult. Thank you for putting yourself through that. For me. You were so good. ” She paused, her hand moved to stroke the length of his arm. “You like giving up control, don’t you? But you struggle to do it. It’s cuz you’re in your head all the time.” She kissed his shoulder. “I get it. It’s what makes you so special. But it must be exhausting. You gotta give yourself a break sometimes. And I appreciate that you do that with me. Really. I do. Don’t think that I take this lightly. I don’t. Means a lot to me.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “Just hate that this is the only way you allow yourself some release. I wish you’d be nicer to yourself.”

She felt him wriggle in her arms, slowly, and clumsily, he turned around to face her, resting his head on her chest. He mumbled a broken, hardly audible, “thank you.” With a strained voice.

“Gosh you’re making it so difficult to get up. We can’t fall asleep…”

Matty did, of course, fall asleep. He couldn’t help it. His body was drained, all out of energy, his mind had slowed to a complete halt for the first time since tour had started, he couldn’t feel his legs and he had no voice to speak. Amelia held on to him for a while, still playing with his hair, watching him sleep soundly, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breathed. It was the most peaceful he’d looked in a long time. But she had to get them both up eventually.

She peeled herself away from him, rummaging through the suite to sort all the necessities. Once she was satisfied that everything was prepared for them, she crawled back into bed next to him, kissing him awake.

“Matty, darling, wake up.” She kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry, baby, I know this is not what you want right now, but you’re gonna have a really hard time tomorrow if we don’t do this now. Don’t want you to drop and struggle all day, yeah?”

Matty’s eyes fluttered slowly, opening slightly. “Yeah.” He smiled.

She helped him sit up then handed him a glass of water and a bottle of his protein shakes that he always had on hand. “Need you to work on those okay?”

“What about you, Amelia?”

The fact that he was asking about her meant that he was slowly coming back into himself.

“I- I’m…I’ll eat later. Don’t worry about me right now.”

“We’ll share?” He offered. The gesture made her feel warm and fuzzy.

***

Steaming hot water ran down his back like a waterfall. Amelia had decided that he was too out of it to wash his own hair, so she’d hopped in the shower with him, running her fingers through his hair and lathering it with shampoo. Matty could hardly stop giggling and smiling the whole time. Especially whenever she took small breaks from washing him to leave small kisses all over his head and body.

Matty turned around, kissing her lips as steam filled their lungs and fogged up the bathroom around them.

“Thank you.” He whispered into her mouth any time that they broke, briefly, for some air.

“What do you keep thanking me for?” She laughed.

“For….just being you.”

***

Amelia placed a gentle kiss to his forehead as he slept, before tiptoeing out of the room the next morning. Even as she made her way back to her own room, she was already daydreaming about what they would do tonight, once she could come by his room again, after their long day of work.

At the other end of the hall, her boyfriend awaited. “Hi Joshua-“

“When were you going to tell me that you and Matty have slept together?” He asked, sprinting to his feet as soon as she walked in.

Amelia felt the blood run cold in her face. How did he find out? Had he seen them together somehow? They’ve been very careful. Made sure he was nowhere near them whenever they would sneak off. Perhaps not as careful as she’d thought.

“W- wha-what?” She babbled.

“I mean, I know it was before we met but I befriended the guy! Don’t you think I had a right to know?”

Amelia snapped out of her terrified daze. He doesn’t know. They have been careful. Everything’s fine. “Who told you?”

“George did. At dinner.”

“Damn you George Daniel!”

“No, no. Don’t be mad at him. He thought I already knew. He wasn’t telling on you.”

Amelia smiled, nervously, looking into his kind eyes. “Well, I- I’m sorry, Joshua. I didn’t know how to bring it up, and….you seemed to like Matty and I didn’t want to ruin that- didn’t want you to think about me and him….any time that you spoke to him.” She sighed, realizing that she’d run out of breath.

Joshua said nothing. He looked down at his girlfriend, who’d walked to sit on the end of the bed, her head held down in shame.

“Are you mad?” She asked when he wouldn’t speak.

“I- don’t know- I mean, you lied to me, Amelia. I asked you if you guys ever dated….you said almost.”

“No! No, I didn’t lie! We’ve never dated, I promise. It was just sex…I know that sounds a bit weird, but we have never been like ‘in a relationship.’”

Joshua hummed, taking in her words, studying her face. She looked genuine, she looked sorry. Like she was telling the truth.

“I guess…in a way….maybe I’m glad I just found out. Cuz, you’re right. I like Matty and…I probably wouldn’t have if you’d let me know from the start.” He forced a deliberate smile, attempting to dissolve the tension.

“So- you’re…not upset?”

“I mean…a bit disappointed but-“

“I’m so sorry!!”

“But not upset, no.”

“Do you…like…do you wanna know anything? I mean, there’s not much to know. Like I said…we weren’t dating or anything….mostly fucking.”

“ I think the less I know about that the better. For all involved.”

“So- we’re done talking about this?”

“Mhm. Unless you wanna say something?”

****

Amelia pushed the breakfast around her plate as her thoughts spun and weaved. Why did she feel a strange sense of freedom, for a small moment, when she thought Joshua had found out about her and Matty, when she pictured breaking up with him, she felt relieved. Was she a terrible person for feeling that way? Should she lean into it? Surely Joshua deserves to be with someone who doesn’t feel freed by the potential of losing him?

With considerable effort, she lifted her gaze up towards Joshua, looking him in the eyes. “Umm…Joshua?”

“Yeah?”

“I have to tell you something. There’s- we need to talk….”

He sighed, loudly, setting down his fork. “We’re breaking up aren’t we?”

***

Matty looked through the peephole to see Amelia waiting to be let in. He unlocked the door quickly, delighted by her early visit. Amelia, on the other hand, was too angry for pleasantries.

“Can I ask you something?” She tapped her foot, crossing her arms over her chest.

“‘Course.” Matty frowned, unsure of what he was about to face.

“What happened to your Fender Mustang?”

[thatoneweirdowhoknowstoomuch]

Where's Waldo Headcanons

(Srry it took so long, I wanted to be sure my posting wouldn't be in vain, lmao. Also, be warned as I incorporate a ton of the 2019 series)

First off-

Waldo Waldini:

•》General《•

* His full name is Waldo W******* Waldini, but he simply goes by "Wally" for convenience sake (plus it adds an "e" sound, which makes one smile)

* His first name was his middle name pre-transition, named after his late father (barely brings this up, tough subject)

* Transmasc. He has a ton of ironic chest binders (think Thomas Jefferson and the Hastune Miku Binder)

* 100% on the spectrum, change my mind

•》Background《•

* His mom and dad were both vets... well, a veterinarian and a veteran, respectively.

* Mostly raised by his Mom as his father was "no longer with us" when her baby girl (pre-transition Wally)

* Even then, his mother couldn't be around much with her job, so he was most of the time alone or with friends. When Mama Waldini could hang out with her daughter, she'd always make up for it in souvenirs and day outs with her.

* Due to being on the spectrum, he had some problems both in making friends and staying out of trouble. Certainly not stupid by any means, much rather the opposite, and definitely not a troublemaker on purpose. Most of his antic includes

- Bringing animals to the classroom for show and tell

- Bringing dangerous machinery (her inventions, which tend to break, go rogue, or explode)

- Traumatizing the whole school during a school play that one time (she took his role a bit too seriously and made the fake stabbing a bit gorey)

(2019 spoilers Ahead!)

- Because of his "antics" and the fact Mama Waldini couldn't be around much with her job, she was the one to introduce Wally to the Wanders' Society, an association she assumed would benefit her little adventurer in the long run like it had with her (she was raised by Whitebeard until she was able to sustain herself and get married)

- She was so ecstatic when she found out that her little adventurer was thriving and that he made new friends (Wenda).

- Despite her happiness and the fact she wished she could see her little girl, she was always way too busy, busier than normal. She felt terrible about this, but there was nothing she could do in her eyes. A few days before Christmas during work, she was tasked with helping a white mutt, and it's four puppies. The mother didn'tmake it, her pups now orphaned. So she gives one of the pups to Whitebeard, requesting that he would give it to her little girl as a Christmas present.

- By the time she could see her little girl, Wally was transitioning; binder, shorter hair, boyish clothes, a whole makeover on his end. She was confused if not taken aback when her little girl insisted on being called her son and that her little girl changed her name to her middle name. However, with Whitebeard's help and Wally's corrections, she got used to it. But it doesn't really stop her from putting hair extensions and ribbons on him to not cause fuss with her husband's side of the family.

- When Wally got older and finally passed Wanders' Society, he went on to travel the world for quite a while, promising to be back with Mama when he's seen enough. However, during his travels, Mama Waldini falls ill, causing her to be moved to a nursing home and bedridden. While her falling sick was a coincidence, Waldo can't really bring himself to forgive for not being there when it happened.

•》Misc.《•

- His current home was once an abandoned theather, renovated with the help of Wenda.

- Due to the last time he traveled abroad, he has a bit of a fear of leaving close people behind for too long. However, Wenda and Whitebeard assure him that nothing bad will happen.

-Owns a ton of clothes/cloth items with his iconic stripes. He has tried other patterns and clothes but wasn't a huge fan.

- Not really picky or touch sensitive, but hates slimy/squishy textures

- One time when Waldo and Wenda slept over at his place, he tried making breakfast in bed for Wenda. However, it went horribly, horribly wrong -

Wenda: Hey, at least you're better than my cousin

*takes a sip*

Wenda: Hey, this is some really good tea -

Waldo: Coffee

Wenda: Wut

Waldo: It was supposed to be c-coffee

- In his trying different clothing era, he ended up buying a red pinstripe suit. Rarely wears it , excusing it as "saving it for Wenda"

- His special interests are traveling (of course), robotics, and miscellaneous fun facts

Wow.. this was waaaay too long. I'll make separate posts for the characters from now on. The next character is Odlaw!

[dizzy-izzy-in-a-tizzy]

This show is important queer media, especially for men who love (awful) men.

I don't even know where the fuck to start. Izzy didn't deserve what happened to him, that's a good place. Yeah, he was a fucking prick in season 1. Yeah, he confronted and threatened Edward and that was absolutely not okay.

Edward then, moments after Izzy finally confessed his fucking love, shoots him in the leg. Later wakes him up and tries to make Izzy kill him. Because he KNOWS he has that much control over Izzy, and fuck how Izzy would be emotionally destroyed by that, Edward is fine with whatever trail of devastation he leaves in his wake.

Because he got ghosted.

Rewatching season 1 before the drop, I came more and more to the conclusion that Edward's behavior on screen was manipulative towards Izzy. "I need you here" when Izzy tried to leave, making a promise he knew he didn't want to keep, a number of things.

I figured this was the tip of the iceberg, and that this was the end of a long spiral in their ill-defined relationship—but that despite the toe at the end of season 1, they would leave the full extent of their dynamics somewhat unexplored. Because gays don't get full stories, right?

lmao

I have never felt fully seen in the way I feel seen by this show. I keep this close to the chest, but I've struggled with unending, life destroying limerence. Part of why I'm so aggressively defensive about my boundaries is that I simply can't afford to get enmeshed with a person who doesn't respect them. I have lived that life before, and lost years to people who were content to give me scraps of affection in order to keep me around.

Then this angry little man comes along and I see that season one frustration for what it is, because I have lived in situations where I should have walked away a long time ago and I know what it's like to love someone who will never love me back the way I need to be loved—but is content to have me believe they might, one day.

"I loved you... as best I could." Which was to say, Edward did love Izzy—but not in the way Izzy needed. He knew Izzy needed more—and yet, he told him he needed him, made promises to him, kept him believing. For fuck's sake, Ed's signature is tattooed on Izzy's face. Ed's statement, more than anything else, is a damning admission of his awareness of his control over Izzy.

I want that angry little man to heal. I want him to find somebody that loves him, and treats him the way he deserves.

We'll see what happens in the rest of the season, but holy fuck.

[blueysobssesions]

to start off, let me just say i LOVE your fics. they always make me kick my feet😭

Anyways though, can i request a leon x f!reader where reader is sick and leon is taking care of her??

but also teasing her about it because she didnt want to wear a jacket in the cold weather lmao

thank you:)))

It was a cold and dreary day when Leon received a call from you. You were sick and needed someone to take care over you. Without hesitation, he rushed over to your apartment to make sure you had everything you needed.

Upon arriving, Leon found you curled up in bed, shivering with a fever. He immediately went to work, gathering blankets and making you some tea. He sat down next to you and held your hand, reassuring you that he was there to take care of you.

Over the next few days, Leon tended to your every need. He made you meals, brought you medicine, and even helped you take a shower. He read to you and played your favorite movies to keep your spirits up.

Despite feeling terrible, you couldn't help but feel grateful for hjs unwavering support. He never left her side and made you feel loved and cared for.

One night, your fever spiked, and you began to panic. Leon held you close and whispered words of comfort, promising you that everything would be okay. He stayed up all night, monitoring your temperature and making sure you were comfortable.

As the days passed, you slowly began to recover. Your energy returned, and you were able to leave the bed and move around the apartment. Leon was happy to see you up and about, and they spent the day cuddled up on the couch, watching their favorite TV shows.

Throughout your illness, Leon had proven himself to be a devoted and caring boyfriend. He had put your needs before his own and had shown you what true love and commitment looked like. You knew that you were lucky to have him in your life and promised to always be there for him in his time of need.

Sorry if I didn't add the teasing part >•<

[rook-specter]

this may turn into a HUUUUUUUGE essay but I kinda don't like people infantilizing the Bard/Kiwi.

Kiwi isn't the best example of nice characters being mischaracterized in fandom, because Wandersong is sorta niche, but it's still something I wanna get off my chest.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

this is NOT an essay on getting you to like Kiwi if you don't like them already, because I'm not gonna judge you for that. I'm not gonna shame you for your opinions. everyone has different blorbos, and we don't have to get into arguments about them. this is just an essay about how much I love them, how people characterize them, and a small tangent about fandom culture as well.

I think it's become abundantly clear that a lot of characters appeal to me. mostly mentally ill characters, like Cabby, Siffrin, or even Kiwi. not only that, but I've also noticed that I tend to gravitate towards characters that are either demonized or infantilized by the fandom.

and seeing that Kiwi is the "nice character", you can definitely see where I'm going here.

and don't worry! I am NOT generalizing Wandersong fans here! I've actually seen a lot of good takes on Kiwi! so there's some good, and some bad, so it's a fine mixed bag! and I'm not saying you have to know EXACTLY how Kiwi's brain works to talk about them! you can just say "I like them cuz they're funny and silly" and it wouldn't change a thing.

"nice characters" in media usually don't get the best treatment in fandom. they'll either be seen as boring, and glossed over compared to the more brash characters, they'll be demonized for something they did that was "not so nice", or their traits will be watered down to the point where the fans are practically infantilizing them.

why do I bring this up? well, I'm part of a Wandersong blog group here on Tumblr, and there's two (three if you count @/lil-vaalroc-bard, aka Concord, from Cosmicsong, an AU that I wanna talk about here sometime) Kiwis on there. @/universally-loved-bard and @/just-a-bard. I'm gonna call the former "Kiwi A", and the latter "Kiwi B" for clarity.

these two blogs characterize Kiwi quite differently. I'm not gonna give Kiwi B any flak, because I don't think infantilizing Kiwi was their goal at all, but the mod for Kiwi A gets quite a lot of flak for "mischaracterizing" Kiwi, which I think is sort of unfair.

the most compelling thing about Kiwi is that they're not the most well-put-together. they're NOT all sunshine and rainbows! remember when Audrey killed the Chaos Queen, and Eyala not being good at the one thing she's meant to do (which is a topic for another day), making Kiwi think that they're useless? AND THEN AUDREY INJURES THEM WITH A ZAP FROM HER SWORD??????

and then there's Chismest, where Kiwi spends most of their time there despondent as all hell, and you're not gonna acknowledge that???

and then there's Miriam getting injured! and Kiwi having to deal with that!

and then, there's the cave-in with Audrey, where Kiwi shows a side of them that NOBODY has seen before. THEY. DO. COERCION. they threaten Audrey that if she doesn't promise to be nice and NOT kill the Overseer, then THEY'LL LEAVE HER TO DIE IN A CAVE.

BUT THEN SHE KILLS THE OVERSEER ANYWAY.

and then, Eyala appears, and Kiwi felt like they were getting LIED to!! (mostly because Eyala is bad at the one thing she's meant to do but sssshhhh I'll do an essay about that some other time)

AND THEN WHEN THEY TRIED TO REDEEM AUDREY AGAIN, SHE KILLED THE LAST OVERSEER.

AND THEN THEY SAW THE WORLD NEARLY GET DESTROYED.

so yeah! they've been through a lot, johnathan!

I'm one of the few people that don't see the characterization of Kiwi A as out-of-character!

because if you're ignoring EVERYTHING that happened to them, I kinda feel like you're infantilizing them!

in conclusion Kiwi is super cool n stuff lmao I'm gonna go back to rping. sorry for yelling

[quinnonimp]

Please tell us more about your tntduo priest/vampire fic I am literally begging you

SORRY THIS IS SO FUCKING LATE LMFAO I NEVER CHECK MY INBOX i rly need to check more often i have so many asks fuck

but aaaa im so glad u wanna know more 👉👈

for once i dont rly have super many thoughts abt an au ? tbh ? like its been very difficult for me to come up with ideas since i dont know that much abt vampires n i dont know that much abt catholicism/christianity

a little of what ive had in mind so far though is cwil is this very lonely priest with no family left who took over the church for his late father - but doesnt actually believe in god all that much, just pretends for the sake of keeping something

then one night some mysterious guy shows up near closing hours and wilbur is already pretty scared for no other reason than just the vibes . they dont talk but after a while of wil staring the pretty guy just gives him a big smile and leaves

the mysterious guy is vampire cquackity, hes just here cause he was hiding away from a hunter (probably ctechno filling this role)

in this universe vampires arent particularly affected by religion itself but just weakened by faith . quackity couldnt feel anything coming from the church, so he assumed it was empty since it was late anyway . turns out there is someone there ! but it doesnt effect him, and quackity realizes the priest himself has no faith, and becomes very interested

because of this new found fascination quackity decides to come back at a similar hour every day, and luckily for him barely anyone is there on weekdays/past 6pm, so he doesnt have to worry about being weakened (and especially not for hunters since they wouldnt expect a vampire to be in a church) . wilbur and him still havent talked but quackity still has fun observing his behaviour, and wilbur just feels a teensy bit less lonely having someone come back so consistently and every single day while he closes

one day however when wilbur decides hes finally gonna talk to this guy, quackity isnt there, and wilburs so confused as to why he feels so sad about it . why does he miss the presence of this stranger hes never even talked to ? he spends the whole rest of the night distracted thinking about the mysterious guy

the next day at around 3-4am when wilbur enters the church to start his day, he sees the presence he missed so much yesterday

though wilburs not as happy as he should be, as the stranger is covered in blood next to a corpse and about to jump him

so yea idk ive been trying to work on the fic, hopefully i actually manage to get smth cool outta it and post it but we'll see !! for now im just drawing the blorbos

if anyone has extra ideas n whatnot or wanna ask more abt the au feel welcome to do so, i cant promise ill be very interesting but i will be very glad to answer lmao

[xhanisai]

Top 5 couples

Oh wow, I have so, SO many OTPs that I would die for it's insane!!! I guess I can put together the top five that have driven me the most crazy~~

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 - Lovesquare (Miraculous Ladybug)

Obviously, this is the most predictable one from me hahaahah! These two have gotten me in a chokehold like no other pairings and that's because not only does this show allow us to see so many variations of them interacting with one another but also because of how they overturn many gendered tropes!

We have Adrien/Chat Noir so open about his love and affections for Marinette/Ladybug whilst she struggles to vocalise her feelings for him and often runs away. We have him openly emotional and quick to voice what is in his heart whilst she's often bottling up her own emotions. We have him often sacrificing himself to save her whilst the world can't be saved without her power. We have him haunting the narrative (as Chat Blanc), we have her saving him like a knight as civilians and just more and more and more.

I can write a 100K word essay about why I love these two and it wouldn't even scratch the tip of the iceberg. These two are made for each other.

2 - Shadow x Maria (Sonic The Hedgehog)

Probably one of the first few younger childhood OTPs that still have me going astronomically insane for them. It's no secret that I'm obsessed with tragic pairings and this one ticks all my boxes. As we've seen from the recent animation shorts, Maria and Shadow were each other's whole worlds! She wanted to finally visit Earth with him by his side and he wanted to be able to cure her illness.

And then Shadow had to watch her be brutally killed before his very eyes? So he vowed to destroy humanity in her name? Only to remember the promise she begged for him to honour, choosing to save the world with Sonic instead like Maria wanted? I am not normal about them they deserve the moon, stars and universe! They loved each other!! They loved each other so much and Shadow was willing to kill everyone as vengeance!!! I love them so much~~~

3 - Soul x Maka (Soul Eater)

I like to call them the ladynoir before ladynoir was a thing hahaahh! Maka and Soul's partnership means EVERYTHING to me and the lengths that they would go for each other (especially the lengths Soul would go through) brings me so much joy!

Seeing how their relationship develops from being childish and slightly mean to each other to the unbreakable bond it is now is just so good! They're so unique! Imagine my shock when I first watched the anime and seeing how protective Soul was over Maka. "A boy being so protective over the girl in a shonen animanga? Without any of the weird tropes into play? WOW!!" Thirteen-year-old me was ENLIGHTENED for real.

4 - Gojo x Geto (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Another doomed, tragic relationship. Another bittersweet romance that literally causes major plotlines in the story and I can never have enough. These two are like the sun and the moon and whether you see their bond as romantic or platonic, there is no denying the impact that they have had on each other! I love them, I hate them and I wanted them to have the best life they could have ever possibly had!!!!

Fellas never break up in front of KFC otherwise it'll cause your own downfall in the future LMAO.

5 - Ichigo x Aoyama (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Most likely my first ever OTP even before I even knew what all these terms meant and will continue to stay in my heart forever. I was obsessed with these two and would draw them practically every single day. Imagine how shocked I was to find out how unpopular this ship was online when I finally had internet in the house 😭

Cute, clumsy, optimistic girl x big bad alien in disguise who chose her over destroying humanity??? What's not to love!? THIS BOY LOVED HER SO MUCH HE UNCONSCIOUSLY CREATED A WHOLE ASS NEW ALTER EGO JUST TO PROTECT HER AND CLAIMED THAT HE IS HERS!!!! INSANE THEY MAKE ME INSANE!!!!! I love Ichigo with all three of his personas! UGH!!!!

They could have been a doomed romance BUT LOVE WON AND THEY BOTH LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

I loved how their relationship played out in the manga, the OG anime and the reboot~ I need to draw these two again.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: Yona and Hak (Akatsuki no Yona), Sonic and Amy Rose (Sonic the Hedgehog), Yato and Hiyori (Noragami), Bishamon and Kazuma (Noragami), Maomao and Jinshi (The Apothecary Diaries), Tohru and Kyo (Fruits Basket), Chloe and Lila (Miraculous Ladybug), Kana and Akane (Oshii no Ko), Roy and Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist), Akira and Ryo (Devilman), Kaneki and Touka (Tokyo Ghoul), Haruhi and Tamaki (Ouran Highschool Host Club) and probably so many more but I can't remember at the moment lol...

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

I read that same fic earlier and I just straight up muted the person so their works don't show up for me anymore lmao

there was also another one like that posted yesterday because the person was mad at something qBad did a couple of days ago while not at all in his right mind and amnesiac, it was odd (not shitting on the person just confused and slightly concerned)

yeah there’s. a lot of misconceptions around qbad rn lmao. It’s one of the reasons Im so obnoxious about him, tbh, so that it’s not JUST the negativity that gets spread. He’s a really good target for the hate rn, because he has a smaller fanbase and his pvp playstyle + lore lead him to all that antagonizing during purgatory, and that gets vented out into fics.

It’s genuinely really interesting, the dichotomy that seems to exist between tumblr and twitter regarding him. Ive heard nothing but slander about bbh from twitter (again, he is not faking his illness, that is a lie), but he’s got a solid enough foothold on tumblr that ive seen more hate towards the fans that the cc, here. which makes sense, given how we take over the tag almost ever day when he logs on. genuine o7 to people who find that obnoxious but thats one of the reasons i overtag so much, for blocking purposes.

anyway i think all the bbh mischaracterization means that we just need to write about him more >:D please this is a call for more bbh centric fics from people who do not hate him/know a little bit about his lore. blease he’s such a fun pov to write i promise

[t0mcruize123]

March 5th

Third March 5th🎀🫶

I dont really know what to put here for this one lmao just prepare yourself for the ending🤫 oh also there’s some smut so be warned👹👹

Third March 5th:

My phone vibrated in my pocket and my heart raced at the sound. I’d been sitting in my living room for hours, waiting and waiting for David to knock on my front door but the hours were passing and he wasn't anywhere in sight. I didnt recognise the number calling but then again, we’d deleted each other’s numbers. It was March 5th, it had to be him.

My heart sunk.

Please let him just be late. Please don't let him be calling me because he isnt coming today.

My thumb slid answer and I nervously brought the phone up to my ear, “Hello?”

I instantly recognised David’s sigh from the other side of the phone, “Hey.”

It wasnt the desperate, happy greeting I was hoping to hear. He didnt sound panicked that he was late, he sounded like he was just sitting on a bed somewhere without a care in the world.

“Where are you?” I uttered the dreaded question.

“New York,” the sadness in my exhale was audible, “I’m so sorry.”

The silence grew thick in the air between us and I tried to act normal, “Is everything okay?”

He didnt answer immediately and when he did his voice faltered, “I dont even know how to say this but...do you remember my roommate? Danny? He...uh..he was in a wreck two days ago.”

My hand instantly flew to my mouth, “Oh my god is he okay?”

More silence, “He um...no, he didnt make it.”

I was unable to respond to that sentence, I had no useful words at all. I didnt know how to console David over the phone and I didnt know Danny well enough to express sadness.

“I dont think I’m going to make it any time soon-”

“Stop its okay, I’m so sorry David,” he still cared about showing up even after one of his best friends had died. Sadness etched into my features as my grip on the phone shook.

“This is killing me,” his voice was barely a whisper, “Ill see you next year. I promise.”

“I’ll be fine David, please dont feel bad...I understand.”

Silence hung in the air between us until he sighed, “Goodbye.”

The line disconnected before I could reply and tears began to blur my vsision. I was crushed. I was an asshole because I wanted to convince myself I was crying over Danny but truthfully, I was crying for completely selfish reasons. Realising how pathetic I am, I began to cry even harder.

David slowly opened the door and stilled, blinking twice as if unsure I was really there.

“I wouldve called first,” I looked down nervously, “But I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He opened his mouth to speak but I held up my hand to stop him, “I lied, I’m sorry. I’m not here to make sure youre okay because I know youre not okay. It was just the thought of not seeing you today and having to wait another year that gutted me and....”

He stepped forward and pressed his lips against mine, sad and yet sure. I sighed against the familiar press of his mouth and wrapped my arms around him. He kissed me as though he couldnt believe I was real, like he couldnt believe I’d bought a ticket just to see him for one day.

He continued to kiss me and pulled me into his apartment, one arm around my waist as though he was afraid I was going to vanish. He closed his bedroom door behind us and pulled me in for a long hug. I closed my eyes and kept my head pressed against his shoulder. One of his hands wrapped around the back of my head and the other secured at my back – I couldve stayed here all night if he wanted.

He kissed the top of my head then placed his hands on either side of my face, tilting it up to look at him, “I cant believe youre here.”

His eyes were red as though he’d been crying and I quietly asked, “How did it happen?”

“He was on his way back from work when his car slipped off the road,” his voice trembled slightly and I squeezed his hand, “Vi’s been in pieces as you can imagine. She’s pregnant.”

I couldnt help but gasp and he nodded, “I know its shit luck. They’re supposed to be celebrating their anniversary this weekend.”

“How far along is she?” I sat down on the bed and he lay down next to me.

“She’s due in November.”

The blonde girl from last year paused in the doorway, cocking her head to the side in confusion, “Do I know you?”

“We met briefly last year,” I blushed in embarrassment at the memory and the corner of David’s lip lifted.

“Well I’m Vi,” she shook my hand and looked back at David, “I’ll be expecting you to fill me in on all the details of this tomorrow.”

“You bet,” David replied and when she shut the door, he glanced at me with a glint in his eye, “Not a chance.”

I laughed quietly and David reached for the lamp at his bedside. There was a look in his eye that made my lips curl up slightly, and before I knew what was happening, David grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it up without hesitation. He threw it somewhere behind him and his eyes read every curve of my body, and he released a shaky breath.

His lips were moist and his tongue was rough and apologetic and my back arched against his touch. He pulled me flush against him but I pulled back in hesitancy.

“David....,” I looked up at him, “I’m worried you’re only doing this to distract yourself from what happened to Danny. I mean, I’ll go through with it but-”

He shook his head fiercely, “I’m not doing this as a distraction. I’m doing this because I want to do this with you, here in this bed. I’ve been thinking about it for nearly 364 days.”

His eyes darkened as he slid his body over me, caging me in with his arms. I could feel him hard against me and I nearly whimpered at the idea of being with him. I’d also been thinking about this moment a lot longer than I shouldve.

He brushed his thumb over my lips, “I want to be your only. Your first and last. I want you to promise I’ll be able to hear your voice tomorroe and every day that follows.”

I nodded in agreeance, “I promise.”

“I’m serious, I want your phone number and youre adres and everything before you leave tomorrow.”

“You can have it,” I grinned, “You can have everything.”

My fingers dragged up his jawline until I cupped his face, “What are you waiting for?”

“To wake up, I think,” he dragged in a raspy breath and kissed my neck, “I’m dreaming right?”

I shook my head just as his hips moved against me. A moan escaped my lips and his kisses against my neck grew wilder.

“Definately dreaming,” he murmured against my skinand touched his tongue against my skin, dragging it up to my throat before kissing me again.

He lined himself up in front of me but still didnt push inside, continuting to tease and touch my skin whilst I grew hotter with need and anticipation. He dragged his lips against mine and as soon as I opened my mouth to say something, he pushed himself deep inside of me. He covered my moan in a kiss and a burst of pain and pleasure burst within me – he was bigger than I’d expected, he could hardly fit as my back arched. The perfection of how we fit together made the pain a mere inconvenience however.

“God youre so fucking tight,” he groaned as his eyes fluttered ever so slightly, “Its perfect.”

It was beautiful. David was beautiful. And somehow, with the way he was staring down at me I felt as though I was beautiful. He gave me a moment to adjust to his size before he thrusted into me once more, claiming my mouth with his whilst squeezing my hand tight. Pleasure like no other shot through my core as his thrusts grew deeper and more frequent. The sound of our bodies smacking together and the bed hitting the wall echoed throughout the room but neither of us seemed to care. My thighs were already dripping and a low sound at the back of his throat groaned as he pushed us both closer towards the edge.

“David,” I whimpered as he pressed our interlocked hands into the mattress. His other hand hooked under my legs and pulled them up over his shoulders so that he had a better angle. Thrusting into me and perfectly hitting my g spot, I let out a loud moan and shoved my face into the pillow beside me to keep quiet. His breathing grew ragged as he grabbed my hips and pulled meet him impossibly closer. I’d never been so filled and I knew I wouldnt be able to walk straight for days after this.

My nails dragged down his back and his head tipped back with a mix of pleasure and pain. I could feel an orgasm building up in my stomach and he pounded into me faster and harder, watching me intently for the moment I released.

David thrusted once more and I felt myself coming undone beneath him. He spilled himself inside of me and it dripped out onto my thighs, soaking me and the bed sheets beneath us. I squeezed my eyes shut as he buried his face into my hair, trying to catch his breath. His skin was hot and gleaning with a thin layer of sweat and I ran my hands through the dark locks of his hair.

We lay there for a few minutes, both of us trying to catch our breath and calming down after such an intense experience. He ran his nose along my jawline until his lips were at my ear,

“I dont want to say goodbye tomorrow morning.”

I breathed in slowly, “You have my number to call me.”

“Every single day?”

“I’ll be mad if you dont.”

“Twice a day?”

I laughed and he added, “Can I see you every day?”

I shook my head because that one was kind of impossible, “That’ll be expensive.”

“Not if I live in the same house as you.”

I stilled and a smile engulfed his face, “I’m thinking about selling my apartment. Violet’s got her own place and the only reason I stay here is because of my job. But i shouldnt have to put the company above you. I could still work there from afar it would just be a bit more difficult. But im ready for that challenge.”

I couldnt believe we were both having this conversation. As much as I knew we needed to talk about it without sex clouding our minds, i couldnt think of anything I wanted more than to see him every day. To have him as part of my life.

He was serious. He actually wanted to move to Chicago and I couldnt think of single reason as to why he couldnt.

I nodded slowly and a smile transformed his entire face. His hand reached up to trace my jaw and his thumb brushed over my lips.

I grinned, ”You’re going to need a jacket.”

I walked into David’s kitchen to see Vi sitting on the counter, her green eyes reflecting in the sunlight streaming through the window. David was still asleep and I hadnt wanted to interrupt his rest when he looked so peaceful.

“Hey,” Vi smiled and nodded towards the toaster, “Do you want any?”

“Oh that’d be great,” I smiled and took a seat next to her.

“So you’re the girl David meets up with once a year?”

I nodded, happy to hear David talked about me when I wasnt there, “Yeah its kind of a tradition.”

“How long are you planning on doing that? For the rest of your lives?”

“Until I’m twenty three.”

Her head cocked to the side, “Why?”

“Its the age my mother decided I’d be mature enough to have a serious relationship with somebody.”

“Ah,” she smiled and looked down at her hands, “Davids a great guy. He’s been so helpful recently with Danny and everything....,” her smile faded and she quickly added, “And he’s a great boss.”

“Oh I remember.”

“I dont know if he’s told you but he’s doing greater than he’s ever done at work,” she smiled proudly, “He’s earning more, enjoying it more, its going well.”

Doing greater than he’s ever done? And he’d give it all up to move to Chicago with me?

“How is he?”

My head snapped to hers, “David?”

She nodded, “I havent really interacted with anyone, I know its selfish because I’m not the only one hurting but-”

I squeezed her hand reassuringly, “He’s okay. He understands Vi.”

She wiped away a tear, “I just feel bad that i havent even thought about how he’s hurting. And now he’s stuck with a girl who’s about to have a baby, and the last thing I want is for him to feel obliged to help me...and I cant move back to me and Danny’s place its so quiet and lonely there,” she pressed her fists to her eyes, “I dont know what to do. I don’t want to burden anyone, but I’m scared I can’t do this on my own.”

I wrapped my arms around Vi as she began to cry into my shirt.

“Vi?” We both looked up to see David standing in the doorway with a distraught look on his face. Vi starts crying even harder and he was instantly at her side.

“You’ll be fine,” he spoke softly, “promise me you’ll let us help you.”

She nods and wipes her tears away fiercely I cant watch her cry anymore. I'm on the verge of tears myself just knowing how scared she is. I rush up the stairs and back into David’s bedroom, where I can gather my thoughts. So many things are running through my head, most of them fears. I'm afraid he's making a decision out of haste. I'm afraid if I tell him how much I wish he would move to Chicago, he would actually do it, and it's obvious Vi. Not to mention the possibilities he'd lose by giving up his job. If we just up and end our arrangement in the middle without continuing to meet up on March 5th, I’d break my promise to my mother and commit before I turn 23

I know two years is a long time for us to wait, but those two years could make a huge difference in his success.I didn’t want to be the reason he quit, Years from now, he'd look back on tonight and hed wonder if he made the wrong choice. If maybe our lives would have still turned out the same and we would still end up together, but by waiting two years, he also would have met his work goals.

He's made such a huge difference in my life. More than he'll ever know. If it weren't for him, I don't think I would have ever regained my confidence. Just having him in my life one day a year has had such a positive effect on me, I'd hate myself if I did the exact opposite for him.

And none of that includes what just transpired over the last ten minutes. There's no way he can move to Chicago when his family needs him now more than ever. Vi is going to need him here way more than I need him in Chicago. I refuse to be the one to convince him to leave her at a time like this.

I grab my phone and call for a cab before I change my mind.

David walked around the corner to meet me and I gasped, clutching a hand to my heart.

"You scared me," I took the last step. "How is she?"

He glance down the hallway toward Vi’s bedroom. "Better,"

I took two more steps, toward the front door this time. David finally noticed the purse around my shoulder and the shoes on my feet. I was prepared to leave.

I put my weight on one foot, “earlier…”

"Please don't change your mind." He interrupted.

I winced looking to the right to hold back my tears. I didn’t want to hurt David but it was best for us both if I left. David rushed towards me and grabbed both of my hands.

“Please. We can do this. Maybe I can't move right away, but I will. Things just need to settle around here first."

I squeezed his hands and sighed, “Vi says you’re doing great at work.”

He realised where this was going, “I don’t care about my job, it doesn’t matter-“

A stream of light strolls across the walls, and I glances back to see my cab waiting.

“Please," he begged, “Just give me your phone number, at least. I'll call you tomorrow and we'll figure it out then, okay?" He tried to to keep his voice soothing and hopeful, but i noticed the panic building in his chest.

"It's been an emotional couple of days, David. It's not fair of me to let you make this kind of decision right now." I pressed my lips to his cheek and then turned for the front door. He followed behind me as I reached the cab and I could feel my heart breaking with each step I took. Why couldn’t he make this easier?

"I would never forgive myself if I didn't encourage you to follow your dreams like you encouraged me to follow mine. Please don't ask me to be the reason you give them up. It isn't fair."

I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face into his neck. He held me right and I could feel how much he needed me to stay but I couldn’t. I opened the door to the cab but hesitated.

"I'll come here next year," I promised. "I want to meet Vi’s baby. We'll meet at the restaurant again, okay? Same time, same place?"

He shook his head and shut the cab door, refusing to let me in.

“ You can't just agree to love me, and then take in back because you think it's not what's best for me. That's not how this works."

I leaned against the cab and crossed my arms over my chest. My eyes were focused on the ground but I could feel his stare.

“David” my voice was barely a whisper, “You don't need to be in Chicago. You need to be here. I'll just be a distraction, It's only two more years.If we're meant to be together, two years is nothing."

He laughed but it was short and humorless. "Meant to be together? Are you listening to yourself? This isn't one of your fairy tales, This is real life, and in the real world you have to bust your ass for the happy ever after!"

He gripped the nape of his neck and took a step away from me, trying to collect his frustration but it was pouring out of him.

“When you find love, you take it. You grab it with both hands and you do everything in your power not to let it go. You can't just walk away from it and expect it to linger until you're ready for it." The pain was etched into his face and my eyes began to tear. The moment we shared in his room meant more to me than he’d ever know but he was looking at me like I was a traitor.

I glanced at the cab and he stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders, “Don’t walk away from this.”

My shoulders dropped with a sigh and I shook my head softly, “Im not walking away from this. I'm not doing anything we didn't agree to the first day we met. I'm the one sticking to the rules, here. We agreed on five years. And yes, we had a little hiccup upstairs where we almost caved and_"

"A hiccup?" He pointed to the house. "Did you just refer to us agreeing to start a relationship as a . . . hiccup?"

He gripped my face until his fingers were wrapped around the nape of my neck. He brush his thumbs across my cheeks and encouraged me to look up at him. David touched me softly and I swallowed back the lump in my throat.

"I don't care about work. All I care about is you. Being with you every day. Seeing you every day, I'm no finished falling in love with you yet. But if you don't want to finish falling in love with me, then you need to tell me right now. Do you want me to be a part of your life on more than just March 5th? If you say no, I'll turn around and walk right back inside that house and things can go back to how they were before you showed up here yesterday. I'll continue working and we'll meet up next year. But if you say yes . .. if you tell me you want to spend every single day on the calendar this year falling in love with me, then I'm going to kiss you. And I'll spend every day after today proving to you that you made the right choice."

His hands remained firm on my face and my eyes remained firm on hers. I could hardly breathe. A tear slowly rolled down my cheek as I shook my head no.

“You can’t-“

"Yes or no, That's all I want to hear."

His eyes were so pleading and I hated that I was the one breaking his heart but I had no choice.

"You need to be here for your family this year. You know that as well as I do. The last thing we need is a relationship over a cell phone. And that's exactly what will happen, because we'll spend every spare second wanting to talk to each other instead of focusing on our goals. We'll alter everything just to be together, and it shouldn't be that way. Not yet. We need to finish what we-“

“Yes or no.” He lowered himself until he was eye level with me and I couldn’t help but inhale sharply.

“Go back inside,” I hated how weak I sounded and I hated the tears that escaped my eyes.

David stepped back and I quickly climbed into the car before I could change my mind. I rolled down my window but he wasn’t looking at me, instead staring at the ground with a distant look in his eye.

"The one thing I want more than anything is for the whole world to live with you,” he could hear the tears in my voice. "But I have to do what you did for me the day we met. You let me go. You encouraged me to go. And I want the same for you. I want you to follow your passion instead of your heart."

The cab began to back away, and for a split second he looked as though he was debating chasing after me - like he did on the plane all those years ago. But he stood still and swallowed hard, realising my decision was set.

“Fuck!” He cursed at the empty street as the cab backed away. Tears blurred my vision as I left his apartment yet again on March 6th, certain I’d never see David Aames again.

[impish-lion]

Tag ppl you wanna know betteeer

Tagged by: @dudettastone & @bluemouseblackpad (I'm so popular 😎)

Last song: My earworm of the day was "Up Jumped the Devil" by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, a comically evil song perfect for Halloween. Favorite new discovery today was "Sin In My Heart" by Siouxsie and the Banshees, it fucking rules!! I've slept on Siouxsie for way too long and I'm finally realizing she's one of the post punk greats

Favorite Color: deep forest greens are comforting beyond words.

Currently Watching: Just finished rewatching The Righteous Gemstones with my partner (it was their first time watching!), also very slowly burning through Eastbound and Down with one of my friends (hi @bluemouseblackpad , I promise I wanna get back to it). What can I say, I'm a simple man, Danny McBride makes a TV show, I love it.

Last Movie: Oh man, for the first time in a while I've actually been watching a good amount of movies again! I've been dipping into Criterion's Pre-Code Horror selection, which has been absolutely delightful. So far I've watched Murders in the Zoo and Murders in the Rue Morgue, both of which were genuinely shocking! Something about seeing a film that is so visibly a 1930s studio production, yet feels actually transgressive is so unnerving. Tonight I hosted a film club at the library I work at where we showed Wolf of Snow Hollow. I liked Thunder Road and I find Jim Cummings to be a fascinating (if sometimes grating) performer and his portrayals of tightly wound, self destructive men to be pretty raw. Here, he certainly brought a good performance, but man, is he ill equipped to wade into the Twin Peaks-y territory he ends up in here. It's still a pretty good movie, but it's always a little sad to watch a skilled director reach their limits. Also watched the new VHS with my partner, there were some good bits in there! Also one absolute dogshit one lmao

Currently Reading: I have started and stopped so many novels, it's genuinely embarrassing. What I have been actually reading though is the original Stan Lee/Steve Ditko run of Spider-Man lol. It's really fun! Peter is an over dramatic asshole who sucks at life and honestly? That's an amazing protagonist! Lee's writing is very "gee whiz" but he's unexpectedly very good at writing Peter's personal drama. Ditko's art is simultaneously amazing and totally bizarre! My favorite thing is that he keeps drawing Aunt May looking older and older, she's looking like cryptkeeper by issue 15.

Sweet/spicy/savory: hmmmmmm. Going with savory, but let it be known that spicy is within the margin of error

Relationship status: partnered up with a lovely person! We're coming up on our nine month! ❤️

Current Obsessions: Not extremely current, but Vampire Survivors took over all of my free time for a good while and I've only recently escaped its clutches lmao. I'm such a sucker for games like that, perfectly addictive formula!

Last googled: the cover for Throbbing Gristle's 20 Jazz Funk Greats (in the running for funniest ever cover)

Currently working on: freelance work for a very annoying client lol. Thinking I should do another project for myself soon and have some fun with an AMV. Oh, also looking into getting my master's?? Never thought I'd be doing that, but I can get it for free, so why not?

@criticalrolo I choose you

[stayathomesurveys]

127.

How many people have you liked this year? One.

How many pills do you take a day? Two.

Do you have any celebrity crushes? Jon Hamm lololol.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Teleporting, being able to make myself look however I want, or the ability to grow money lol.

Do you put ketchup on top of your French fries or on the side? The side.

Where did you last sleep other than your house? My sister’s house.

Where did you get your last bruise from? I hit my arm on the doorknob.

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single? Yeah.

Ever worn something of the opposite sex’s clothing? Yes.

Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Maybe.

Last CD you blasted through your car stereo? I have no idea, that was many years ago.

How many email accounts do you have? Two.

Who is the best cook in your family? My parents and brother are all good cooks. They each have their specialties.

Which baby animal is your favorite? Puppies and giraffes. Honestly, though, baby animals in general are all pretty cute.

Have you ever carved a pumpkin? Many times. It’s been a few years since the last time, though.

When is the last time you went to a carnival? Back in high school at our school carnival.

Do you have a favorite glass, cup, or mug? Yeah. Currently, it’s my Reese’s mug I got for Christmas. I’ve been seriously obsessed with Reese’s the past few months and for Christmas I got a Reese’s gift set that came with candy and 2 mugs and my stocking was full of Reese’s lmao.

What branch of science interests you the most? Psychology.

Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yeah, in college.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with via text? I haven’t had any deep conversations via text in a long time.

Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr for sure.

Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No.

Favorite YouTuber? I have several.

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No.

Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? No.

Do you have any gay family members? Yes, a few.

Was your first kiss romantic? No, it was super awkward lol but it was cute.

What are you most likely to go to jail for? I have no idea. I can’t even imagine.

Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? My aunt. She’s staying this weekend, actually.

What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? I would trip out a bit just cause that would come as a total surprise. I don’t have any feeling that he might be. It wouldn’t matter of course, I would just be surprised.

How many people has your best friend had sex with? I don’t have any friends.

When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? Several years ago.

Are you currently “appearing offline” to anybody? I don’t think so. I think Tumblr shows when you’re online and I haven’t tried messing with the settings. I don’t care.

What were you for Halloween last year? Nothing. I stopped dressing up several years ago.

Do you believe that karma can come back and slap you in the face? I don’t believe in karma.

Have you ever been to Texas? No.

Do your siblings text you? My younger brother and I do. Mostly it’s memes and TikToks.

Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Of course. That’s like the first thing everyone did. You can look up anywhere and for some reason we all had to look up our own houses lmao.

Did your last kiss end up with you and the person doing anything sexual? No.

Who is your ex dating/talking to? I have no idea, nor do I care.

Who did you last pinky promise with? I don’t recall the last time I did that.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? No.

What happened at the last party you went to? I haven’t been to a party in several years. And parties for me were small get togethers with friends or family, I was never a big partier.

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying? Yeah.

When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong? I always do in some way or another, but I had a bacterial infection a couple weeks ago and felt really shitty. Thankfully, my doctor was able to prescribe me some antibiotics and I felt better within a few days.

Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person? These two girls, Crystal and Starr, in preschool. We sadly lost touch after preschool cause we went to different schools.

Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift? Yes, my shirt and my rings.

What is your least favourite song, by your favourite artist? I don’t feel like thinking about it.

What color is your jewelry box? I don’t have one.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? No.

What is your brother/sister’s favorite food? My younger brother loves Mexican and Korean BBQ and my older brother is a vegetarian and mostly eats just veggies.

Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavour is it? I’m not sure.

In your life, who is the person that seems to understand you the most? My mom.

Are you afraid of losing the person you like right now? I don’t like anyone.

Does anyone know your Facebook password? No.

Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? No.

Do you enjoy being outdoors? Only if I’m at the beach.

How many times have you been to a zoo? Many times.

What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? Hm. I don’t know. There’s certainly subjects I’d rather not talk about, but not one I wouldn’t talk about at all that I can think of.

[scummy-writes]

[CHAPTER 19 & PREM]

Notes for myself. I know he dislikes this stuff already, its very clear, but i wanted the exact verbiage he uses. I am surprised he doesnt outright say rape. I wonder if thays a censoring thing or a Gilbert thing.

Surprised sariel or. Anyone. Never told her about the king. I guess it doesnt matter? But i feel like it is good knowledge to have... i guess they also dont want it getting out, but they so freely syate it in so many routes? Lukes mother was not the only one raped so?? I feel like its important to take into account how someone would act as a king, on good AND bad days.

Gilbert the criminology expert. I am... happy. But this points to why his heart got so corrupted also, swarming himself into awful awful cases and atudying. Its for the betterment of others, he wants this stuff to stop for the sake of others. Word soup right now but. I wonder when this is realized by her and him. Killing awful people and knowlingly having to sacrifice a few (the civil war hes trying to ignite) to try and turn the tides of ruling completely.

I figured thats why he wasnt really super awful to either of them. He was awful but not super.

Ah i want to screenshot all of this. Jesus christ. Ill have to record this whole chapter for myself because of this speech.

I feel like its difficult to comment on. I am not good at politics, i am nodding along and understanding this is an extreme, but its difficult to make any comments due to just...nodding...

I wonder if he also wants to die due to the grief of it all. *weedles my hcs into this*. All i keep thinking about is a gilbert, alone at night plagued by nightmares of his mother, the disappointment she would have, and promising himself and the memory of her (and albert) that itll end 'soon' because he plans to die like this.

And he wants emma to do it. To be the last thing he sees before he dies, the object of his love and obsession.

I cant fogure out if he wants it so that he can dig himself further into a villain, to crush his heart due to the only woman he loved passing judgement thay he SHOULD die to atone for his sins, as a dramatic final act of some sort of self harm, or because he wants her to be the last thing he sees so that he can leave with a sense of happiness and feeling love as his final feeling, even if its twisted.

Typing that made me want to cry

I want gilbert to have a life free of this pain. I wish he could just have a small home on the countryside with emma.

Is it because he never expected her to Not want him dead? Hes shocked that his secret desires of her liking him back are showing to be possivle? That she deems him redeemable enough to live despite whay hes done?

Hes gonna show her a lot worse now huh.

-> WALTER?!?!?! MY MAN?!?!?! MAN OF THE HOUR?!?!??!

-> ITS WALTER!!!!!!!

i love how gilbert talks to him. Okay like in context he sounds so awful but--- okay listen in some events it sounds like he always does this when they try to scold him. Also funny the threat happens when walters like "oh she exists?" LMAO love that they thought he was just fucking delusional in regards to her apparently.

I want to know so badly what gilbert has said about her. I also feel like some things may have been feverish ramblings that walter was not supposed to hear.

-> "well, that's killed the mood" lmao

Man after my own heart.

I desperately want to imagine he has collected books that shes liked over the years, in order to try and feel what she felt while reading them, to feel closer to her.

I also want to imagine hes collected books he thought she might enjoy, too.

-> "although, I just really wanted to make you happy" sobs

-> gdi i missed screenshotting his advancement with the food. If anyone is reading this and has a screenshot of what he said he did....pls...gib....

Argh i hit the photo limit.

-> "i don't wanna" ily. Youre like a fuckin kid sometimes.

-> both genders of workers and such

-> novles and commoners at the castle dressed the same to avoid preconceptions

-> PREM STORY? fucking hell i forgot there was an avatar check. I hit the photo limit. Was already mad i couldnt show the screenie about her thinking about his life and him killing. Ill do that next note chapter.

[PREM STORY]

-> both outfits are my jam this time.

-> "i want to know how we can make up again." " atrocious" "what a kind bunny you are"

-> "are you playing at psychoanalysis now?" Looks at my notes. Looks back at game.

-> "thats gross"

-> the shock at her saying its cowardly. Is it because he didnt consider that ( he HAD to have of, right????) Or just surprised again that she thinks along those lines?

-> again. The crux of wanting to feel the love of the object of your affections verses having to stick to your guns so that she does not know the true depth of it all and will not be ruined by your death, so that she can keep the purity with her and you still got to experience it....ah.......pain....suffering....gILBERT

-> does not want to hurt her, confliction. Ough i am glad i bought this ill be rereading it and crying later.

[You unlocked: Gun!]

PART 2 - GILBERT ROUTE SPOILERS POST

The last post got really long since hitting 'readmore' shows you ALL the reblogs on it, so I made a part 2 for chaps 12-20(?).

I'll be reblogging this post each chapter or so with personal thoughts and general screaming under a cut. I'll be having it in a format with the chapter numbered, and then a cut directly after where I'll be yelling. I already know some major spoilers with gilberts route, so if you have not finished his route yet, be wary.

I'll be using the tags 'Scum Simps' and 'scum plays gil route' for those of you who want to filter it out. Thank u!

[chrismho]

will not be watching the Bleach anime and actually just filtered out a bunch of bleach tags, including ichiruki

am still too bummed out about too many things, including:

• the weird, sudden downplay of Rukia’s importance and mad reduction of screentime--she went from co-protagonist to someone who gets less than a second of screentime in the new trailer, is MIA during the final battle, and is separated from the nakama for virtually all of the final arc. So many of her personality quirks, the things that made her so unique and wonderful, (her shitty drawings, her love of cute rabbit-themed things, her interest in the human world, her snark) are gone or hella watered down

it’s an odd observation/opinion but I actually wasn’t all that crazy about her new haircut in the FB arc--it makes her silhouette/form a lot less distinctive and interesting from a character design perspective. I know the idea was she wanted to look less like her sister but knowing how awesome Kubo’s designs are I think she could have gotten a lot more interesting/flattering haircut (again, this is more from a character design perspective so this is more an offhand opinion whatever)

• the weird, sudden downplay of Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship. I adore ichiruki but at this point I’m not even mad they’re not canon--I’m more bummed at how such a fateful, important, powerful, dynamic, symbolic, and unbreakable bond is so absent in the final arc. There’s so much buildup in the FB arc (speed of the world poem, Ichigo dreaming about Rukia, the freaking fullbring powers being unlocked just thinking about her, the way the rain stops when she comes back and gives him his powers) and then...nada. idec they’re not canon, I just wished their bond was a lot more featured (platonic or not), that they got to fight in the final battle together, or at least share a few moments of bickering in the final arc. they’re separated for almost all of it which is wild. Even in the canon WDKALY novels, Ichigo isn’t even the first Rukia tells about her engagement? They don’t interact at all and that just seems so weird to me given all they’ve gone through/how much Kubo himself has hyped up their bond and duality. 

• How Renji is all of a sudden Ichigo’s new BFF...Renji as a whole is such a flimsy and inconsistent character (slashing and slamming Rukia against a pole in one arc, then going on to righteously lecture that “a man who lays hand on another woman is trash” smh) and to give him so much spotlight just felt so weird and off

• ishida and chad doing essentially the opposite of what they vowed in earlier arcs (ishida didn’t want to be like his dad, chad didn’t want to use his fists/strength for money/fame) also ishida being all alone and not even mentioned by his friends in the last chapter was weirdly kind of sad and ugh

early bleach was such a spunky, unique, special thing with ichigo and rukia’s bond giving it such a wonderful spark, it had such character and over time really just became another generic shonen which is a darn shame but what’re you gonna do