#ik tumblr is bad and there is that shit but at least its not pushed to the first thing you see after looking at a post 😭

[oysterie]

I dont use twitter or tik tok so im not exposed to it often but i use ig for following bands and every once in a while i go through ig reels and it will be some harmless funny video and the top 3 comments will always be the most vile racist etc shit ever and youll report them abd promptly get three emails back abt how it doesnt go agaianst guidlines and i used to use ig constantly until 2021 and istg it was never this much

[borathae]

chapter 1

“Thank you good sir” i havent seen this in a serious manner in a long time, and laughed cuz it sounded like 1890s memes 😭 im sorry

pulls the door open with ease. NO WAY I PUSHED AN PULL DOOR BYE U DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK SOME OF US LIKE THAT 😭 violence i will be meditating

ALSO IS IT TAE OR JIN AAH HOLD ON JOON IS TALL TOO maybe kook??

“I’ve been a student here for quite some time actually” this sits at the same table as "how long have you been 17? a while"

oh it was jooniebug WHY IS OUR PRESIDENT A DICK 😭😭

“At least I don’t look like a stoner from the seventies” JIN STOP, HOBI U LOOK AMAZING

funky what is funky why is funky when is funky where is funky how is funky who is funky

what is she studying to have history and human anatomy together?/srs. ooh literature with different stuff for minor

boi i havent heard the word coolio in a decade, the last time probably while reading ff in 2014

oh my god its the bad boy. is it yoongi? YES I WAS RIGHT

4 HOUR LECTURE ON ONE TOPIC?? BOI I WOULD HAVE DIED AND RESURRECTED IN THAT TIME. i have 2 hour lectures with 5 minute after an hour and its amazing

"No reason really”, *plays why u always lying meme

Hoseok agrees with a quirk of his perfectly styled eyebrow. YES HIS EYEBORWS ARE HOT AS FUCK

ofc kook is a sports major

rest of the Alpha dirt”, damn hoseok really got beef with them

status from royal blood? eww hoseok is slay for that *me acting like i wasnt being a thot while reading yoongi, tae, kook drabbles/oneshots

FUCK SOCIETY

“Dear lord, give me strength”, jin and joon with bangtan

JIMIN WTF U WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIL FLUFF BEAN *bitch stop u knew how they were in the beninging(yes i misspelled for the meme) YES KICKING IN THE SHIN SUPREMACY

what is a hacky sack? i found out its a game? but what is he exactly studying lol?

also its the way she is making friends and talking to people LIKE SHE SPOKE WORDS YALL could never be me, sure i would have asked someone to help me to my classes but i wouldnt be talking after that, would have said im busy even though im not

if you would excuse me, but you’re quite weird, BYE IM LEAVING THE EARTH THIS IS THE 2ND TIME IM EMBARRASSED you can find me in 134340 business days, where i will be rotting under my blankie bye

“Perfect, now that everyone is welcomed accordingly. an example of when theater theaters in the most theater form

It leaves you wondering what he meant with that. u know what he meant by that, this is where you do the whole twilight thing

“I feel I just witnessed a man high on three different drugs theatre kids in a nutshell (apparently people on tumblr are either gay, english major or a theatre kid, and i sent the meme to my friends, guess what they said................... "looks like you fit all three category" our schools dont have it, but im apparently a theatre kid to them 😭)

WHY DOES THIS MAN WANT TO KILL ME SHUT UP I HATE YOU GO AWAY *gets closer again

How is he walking that quietly you walk with your entire feet, part by part, like in those "special" shoes ads, that helps in reducing sound. slow yet quick

“well, that is indeed a predicament.” oof so elegant, classy, AND RUDE (there 2seok, happy?)

your voice actually comes out squeaky. girl mine would have came quiet yet squeaky way before 😭

BABY CONNECT THE DOTS HOW DID THEY GET THAT FAST QUIETLY??

let’s get the 1860 one.” IS SHE THAT SPECIAL?? WHATS GOING ON AAAH

Seokjin actually answers him with a quiet “yeah!” OFC HE WOULD DO THAT

THEY GOT DEAD BODIES IN THE FREEZER

If you died here tonight EXACTLY U GONNA DIE BYE GIRL, YOU WILL (NOT) BE MISSED jk jk lol

ig kook is scared of girls *eww that was cringe bye Maybe he just needed to take a really urgent shit OH MY GOD PLS😭😭 this is going to stay in my mind forever, everytime i see him running im gonna think of this no doubt

“exactly, that is the reason. He is really shy.” aww such a shy lil bean OK BUT IK THATS NOT THE REASON *inserts suspicious hobi eyes

you must have the crispiest oxygen sounds like an indian water ad, that said "more of oxygen " Arrey yaar h2o water has not turned into h2o2 toxic hydrogen peroxide 😭

i love ur descriptions, they are very picturable and i love the vibes. it is soo good, i could smell the place? the seats, library, just the university smell, restaurant. it was great. i dont think my words do any justice lol

NO WAY I PUSHED AN PULL DOOR BYE U DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK SOME OF US LIKE THAT 😭 violence i will be meditating

I think this is like a universal human experience to push a few pull doors lmaooa

ALSO IS IT TAE OR JIN AAH HOLD ON JOON IS TALL TOO maybe kook??

questions over question mhmhmmhm

oh it was jooniebug WHY IS OUR PRESIDENT A DICK 😭😭

QUESTIONS OVER QUESTIONS INDEED

what is she studying to have history and human anatomy together?/srs. ooh literature with different stuff for minor

honestly? i gotta be honest with you, don't think too deeply about the logistics of her studies. i chose her courses for the sake of plot and nothing else LMAOAO

boi i havent heard the word coolio in a decade, the last time probably while reading ff in 2014

coolio still slaps like 10/10 word (also you see how I made them using "outdated" words wink wink almost as if they were from a different time wink wink)

oh my god its the bad boy. is it yoongi? YES I WAS RIGHT

BADBOY YOONGI AWOO

Hoseok agrees with a quirk of his perfectly styled eyebrow. YES HIS EYEBORWS ARE HOT AS FUCK

THEY ARE THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT

ofc kook is a sports major

djjfja thinking back, it makes no sense for him to also study JFJDAFJ (you'll understand it later fasdjfj)

JIMIN WTF U WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIL FLUFF BEAN *bitch stop u knew how they were in the beninging(yes i misspelled for the meme) YES KICKING IN THE SHIN SUPREMACY

HAHHHAHAH he may have tricked you fadjfjas

what is a hacky sack? i found out its a game? but what is he exactly studying lol?

yes it's a game fakdsfka in theory he studies dance PLEASE don't think too much about the logistic I literally just went with vibes

also its the way she is making friends and talking to people LIKE SHE SPOKE WORDS YALL could never be me, sure i would have asked someone to help me to my classes but i wouldnt be talking after that, would have said im busy even though im not

i get both sides like i would want to make friends but would be too scared that they would hate me FADJFJ if people like 2seok talked to me though? helloooooo :)

if you would excuse me, but you’re quite weird, BYE IM LEAVING THE EARTH THIS IS THE 2ND TIME IM EMBARRASSED you can find me in 134340 business days, where i will be rotting under my blankie bye

hahahahhaha this part is actually so embarassing bHAHAHHAHAHAH

“I feel I just witnessed a man high on three different drugs theatre kids in a nutshell (apparently people on tumblr are either gay, english major or a theatre kid, and i sent the meme to my friends, guess what they said................... "looks like you fit all three category" our schools dont have it, but im apparently a theatre kid to them 😭)

i don't get the hate on theater kids, all I see is people who don't fit into the "societal norm" and are therefore labelled as weird losers. we don't have stuff like "theater kid" or "sports kid" in Austria either becuse school is solely there to study not to offer clubs but I still never understood the weird hatered some clubs get in America jfdjfa

THEY GOT DEAD BODIES IN THE FREEZER

👀👀👀👀

ig kook is scared of girls *eww that was cringe bye Maybe he just needed to take a really urgent shit OH MY GOD PLS😭😭 this is going to stay in my mind forever, everytime i see him running im gonna think of this no doubt

as for now it seems like he is ooooh 👀

“exactly, that is the reason. He is really shy.” aww such a shy lil bean OK BUT IK THATS NOT THE REASON *inserts suspicious hobi eyes

SUSPICIOUS INDEED MHHHHM

i love ur descriptions, they are very picturable and i love the vibes. it is soo good, i could smell the place? the seats, library, just the university smell, restaurant. it was great. i dont think my words do any justice lol

OMGG THANK YOU!! gosh this is actually such a big compliment :( I'm so happy to know that I managed to really make you exprience the place gaaah thank you for this review heheh 💜💜

[nooklingposting]

I posted 926 times in 2022

That's 743 more posts than 2021!

41 posts created (4%)

885 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@argisthebulwark

@lucien-lachance

@dirty-bosmer

@nerevar-quote-and-star

@mantleofsanguine

I tagged 105 of my posts in 2022

#fallout 4 - 25 posts

#paladin danse - 24 posts

#fallout - 15 posts

#lucien lachance - 13 posts

#skyrim - 13 posts

#fallout 4 companions - 11 posts

#fallout 4 fanart - 9 posts

#redbubble - 8 posts

#oblivion - 7 posts

#brotherhood of steel - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#i do want to say that jack black is phenomenal as bowser but he has so much va experience it would be impossible for him to be bad

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

A Photograph: commission by @averymerrymoth

Paladin Danse and my OC Elizabeth find a pre-war camera while on a mission. She managed to talk him into posing with her for a brief moment ❤️

Thank you so much to Merry Moth for the lovely drawing, it's absolutely perfect!

230 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

#4

Comission of Hero of Kvatch Sheogorath and Akatosh Martin Septim: by @mister-mizu

My OC Ivari and her beautiful emperor husband get their happy ending as a Mad God and a Dragon God I'll die on this hill.

249 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#3

Oh wow a sale on Fallout games! I wonder what options I ha-

FOR FUCK'S SAKE TODD

253 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

#2

Finished the Oblivion main questline and I just

307 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I'm usually an elder scrolls/fallout blog but I feel like I can rant here too so:

I'm just really, genuinely upset for Charles Martinet rn. I know he's said before that voicing Mario can be really straining on his voice, but that doesn't mean we should be using star-power to recast what is, in my opinion, his role.

And I know he hasn't said a huge amount about the casting of the film, but Tara Strong's tweets and his responses to them feel like there's at least some melancholy. I can't imagine doing a job for so many years only to be pushed aside for a mainstream face actor who can't voice act for shit to fill the role.

I've not interacted with Charles Martinet much, but the very few interactions we've had/I've seen? He's been nothing but a lovely and kind soul, and he lives and breathes Mario! It's so rare for someone to be so passionate about a role for so long, and I can't help but feel ike this is such an insult to such a kind man who genuinely enjoys his job.

A thought I've seen a lot is that the 'traditional' Mario voice would be really grating for a full movie - I agree! But that's the beauty of voice actors! Martinet has such an amazing range (insert Skyrim Paarthurnax fact here), and he would easily be able to work with his original voice for the character(s) and mellow them for prolonged speech. He is a great voice actor. And the same can't be said for his replacement.

Maybe I'm just projecting many emotions onto this and making a mountain out of a molehill. But VA's being replaced by 'mainstream' celebrities is already a very iffy thing to do, and it almost feels personal when it's such an iconic role and the original actor is so passionate about the art. Its been bugging me since the cast was originally announced and it hurts even more after seeing Charles' responses on twitter yesterday.

All we can hope is that Charles Martinet is living his best life and knows that many people appreciate his work. But that doesn't change the fact that trying to pull in an audience with a celebrity in this case is a very shitty thing to do.

1,217 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[evilkitten3]

Hey! Ik it’s not anyones job to educate people and what not, but I’m genuinely wondering if you have any sources that are actually good that talk about NPD? See, I’ve grown up in a household with a mother who r e a l l y likes to say people are narcissists, as in not just the “god you’re such a narcissist” derogatory thing that folks do off the cuff unfortunately, but as in the genuine personality sense. She constantly lists off all these traits (which fun fact aside from a handful that are pretty coverall negative traits literally anyone could have I never have seen myself) so I genuinely just… don’t know what it’s supposed to mean and the times of tried looking into it the sources looked dubious at best and downright demonized the disorder at the worst. You seem very knowledgeable or at least positive towards it, so I was hoping you’d be able to point me in the right direction to make myself more educated on the matter. Thanks so much in advance, and in general for advocating so much for those groups that are so often stigmatized by others, it genuinely is something that means a lot

hm... off the top of my head, i can't think of any. but there are blogs geared towards supporting people with npd as well as blogs that spread information about it, and those very frequently have plenty of sources.

i wouldn't say i'm "very knowledgeable" about npd (or any cluster b pd), but i ended up learning a thing or two first when i started trying to find ways to help me understand and explain my own low empathy, which led to me stumbling upon the wiki page for aspd. i was a teenager at the time, i believe, and i'm fairly oblivious by nature (self-centered is probably a more accurate word to use, but only removed of negative connotations towards poor behavior - things about other people just. don't really occur to me. my therapist says i need to be more curious about people, and she's probably right).

but anyway, i ended up trying to learn more about cluster b pds and eventually came to learn about the stigma towards them (you'd think i would've been aware of that sooner, given how often those terms are used as insults, but again– kinda oblivious). i ended up making a few connections in my head (my version of "putting myself in their shoes", i guess - i can't really work out other people's feelings all that well, but if i replace whatever is being demonized with something i have (usually autism, since that's what makes the most sense to me), i can more or less figure out if Hey That's Bad or whatever), and ultimately the Autistic Moral Stubbornness Button was pushed.

my mom also does stuff like that, though to a significantly smaller degree than yours, but she's also pretty much accepted that i'm going to be anal about it whenever she does. not that she thinks people with cluster b are evil or whatever - she's just sorta like. "well this word predates the diagnosis, so it's not fair to tell people to stop using it". which i get in principle, but like if it's hurting people then i don't give two shits about whether it's fair or not. person > word

anyway, tldr: there's definitely blogs dedicated to spreading info (do NOT get all your info just from things tumblr users say tho - not about this specifically; in general don't do that), and many of them interact with and reblog from each other, so it's not hard to find more once you've found one. my go-to blog whenever i need to reblog npd positivity is @npdsafe, and i've found a few other good ones from following its blog.

edit: oh yeah and NEVER WORRY ABOUT ASKING ME THINGS! if i'm not comfortable giving a question or being asked something specifically, i'll just say so. it's not my job to educate, true, and i can't promise to be able to answer everything, but i firmly encourage everyone to ask me whatever they want.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Thirteen - Violet is ready to snap

“And that is the telephone.” Josephine said, carefully gesturing towards an old phone at the end of the kitchen counter. “I never use it, for fear of electrocution.” 

“Phones are fine, Ms Anwhistle.” Violet sighed. “I’ve taken them apart to see how they work before, I can do it again to show you.” 

“Oh, no, no.” Josephine shook her head. “That’s alright.” 

“I’ve read books about telephones, I could explain them to you.” Klaus said. 

“No, I’d rather not.” 

“Delmo.” Sunny said, which meant, “If you wish, I will bite the telephone to show you that it’s harmless.” 

Josephine narrowed her eyes. “Delmo is not a word. It’s not grammatically correct whatsoever. Violet, Klaus, don’t you find grammar to be one of the most important things in life?” 

“Sure.” Violet sighed. She sat at the table and said, “I’m assuming you want an explanation for our existence-” 

“I’m a bit afraid to hear it, but I suppose I’ll have to, won’t I?” 

“Yes.” 

Josephine sighed. “Would you children like soup?” 

“Hot soup would be nice, it’s very chilly.” Klaus said, sitting beside Violet and bouncing Sunny on his lap. 

“Oh, no, it’s cold.” Josephine said. “I’m afraid to turn on the stove, in case it bursts into flames.” 

Sunny gave her the most bewildered look she possibly could, opened and closed her mouth several times to try and find words, and finally managed to mutter, “Fuck?” 

“Sunny’s a bit confused.” Klaus translated, as Josephine started pulling bowls out to dish out the soup. “I’m not sure that’s possible for most stoves.” 

“Well, you never know.” Josephine’s eyes darted around. 

Josephine brought them their bowls and spoons and nervously sat across from them, and Violet said, “Well, Klaus, I did the last explanation. You wanna go?” 

“Not especially.” 

“Sucks to be you.” 

“Oh, please don’t fight…” Josephine said. 

“We’re siblings, it’s our job.” Violet said. “It’s also how we cope.” 

“Yeah, and we need a lot of coping.” Klaus said. “We did a bit of crying on the way over but now we gotta move the fuck on.” 

“So, catch you up to speed, Bertrand and Beatrice are alive, have been on the run for about fourteen, fifteen years.” Violet said. 

“Had us.” Klaus added. “And about… a few days ago? Yeah, Count Olaf found us.” 

“Olaf?” Josephine jumped. 

“Yeah, he’s got our parents held hostage.” Klaus nodded. 

“Hideo.” Sunny said. 

Violet quickly translated, “They gave us a list of safehouses to go to in case we got separated. We went to Monty but that didn’t…” 

She paused, getting choked up, suddenly feeling a pang in her chest. Don’t think about it, just move on. Just move on… 

“Olaf found him.” Klaus shook. “Our… our parents told us to go to you next.” 

“We don’t think we’ll be found here.” Violet said unconvincingly. “We just need someplace to lay low until our parents break out.” 

“Oh dear.” Josephine reached for a handkerchief to wipe her brow. “Oh dear, this is absolutely terrifying. You children must be so frightened.”

“We’re sure our parents will get out.” Violet said. “They’re very resourceful.” 

“Nire,” Sunny said, which meant, “And so are we.” 

“Again, we just need to lay low somewhere.” Violet paused. “Can you help us? Without calling the police.” 

“Oh!” Josephine gave her a nervous smile, and reached over to pat her on the hand. “I would never call the police here.”

“Really?” Klaus looked relieved. 

“Of course.” Josephine nodded. “I would have to use the phone to do that.”

The Baudelaires fell into a grimly annoyed silence, and Sunny said, “Pleh,” which meant, “Get her help.” 

“But I must admit, children, I am a bit overwhelmed.” Josephine said. “This is a horribly horrifying situation. Are you quite sure you’ll be safe here?” 

Violet smiled grimly, glancing around the kitchen, and then she said, “I seriously doubt Olaf will think we’re with you.” 

“Well, if you think so…” Josephine paused. “I’m afraid I’m not prepared for guests.” 

“We have our own food that should last about a week.” Klaus said. “And we have money to buy more.” 

“Well…” Josephine paused. “I believe I do have an empty room you all can sleep in. And it may be nice to have someone in the library to study with.” 

Klaus brightened. “You have a library?” 

“Yes! It’s full of all the books on grammar it can hold.” 

Klaus deflated. “Grammar?” 

“Yes! My greatest joy in life, I believe I said? What do you think, don’t you agree?” 

“Um.” Klaus gave Violet a look. “Yes.” 

“I want to die.” Violet said. 

She flopped onto the bed, groaning. There was a guest room with two, and they’d managed to fill a basket with blankets for Sunny to sleep in, though it seemed more likely she’d sleep on Klaus’s pillow. 

“This is our safehouse?” Violet said, staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of it all. “That woman is scared of her own shadow!” 

“Well,” Klaus said carefully, “At least she’ll be scared of Olaf when he arrives and she’ll get us out of here.” 

“If she doesn’t fend for herself.” Violet rolled onto her stomach, shooting her brother a look. “It’s what we would do.” 

“Mother and Father appointed her a safehouse for a reason.” Klaus said, flipping open his commonplace book. “Who knows? Maybe she was braver when her husband was alive.” 

“Is her husband dead?” 

“Ike doesn’t seem to be here.” 

“Could be on a trip.” 

“I dunno. I haven’t seen anything that suggests more than one person lives here. Sunny, any thoughts?” 

Sunny bit onto the edge of the pillow and shook her head, causing the pillow to fly around a bit, some stuffing flying into the air. 

“Well, we can make the best of it.” Klaus said hesitantly. “We just have to hold on until our parents escape.” 

“...yeah. Until they escape.” Violet said quietly. She laid down, curling up around her own pillow, and said, “What are the next safehouses again?” 

Klaus flipped his commonplace book back to the first page. “After the Anwhistles? The VFD Hideout in Paltryville- remember, that’s the one father says doesn’t have much contact with main headquarters, and the volunteers positioned there would be sympathetic.” 

“Yeah, they owe Mother and Father for some shit.” Violet waved her hand. “That it?” 

“Prufrock Preparatory School.” Klaus read. “And… that’s it.” 

“Well, hopefully they catch up to us here.” Violet said. 

Sunny spat out the pillow, crawled onto Klaus’s lap, and then faced Violet. “Vee?” she asked, and Violet sighed. 

“Klaus, how do we explain VFD to a toddler?” 

“How did Mother and Father explain it to us?” 

“I don’t know, I was eight.” 

Klaus sighed. “Well, Sunny… sometimes people band together into groups. To learn the same things, or protect each other.” 

“Yee.” 

“And sometimes those groups can turn… bad. They convince you that if you ever leave the group bad things will happen, and then make you do dangerous things for them, or give up your money and life for them.” 

“Vee?” 

“Yeah, that’s VFD.” Violet said. “Mother and Father were given to the organization when they were young children, and raised there, so they didn’t know anything but serving VFD. They did… bad things, not knowing how bad they were.” 

“And they tried to leave,” Klaus said, “And then people found out about the bad things, and… and Lemony was trying to clear their names…” 

“So that we could stop running.” Violet sighed. “But they can’t tell anyone about VFD, because it’s very secret, and good at covering its tracks.” 

“Scary.” Sunny said. 

“Yeah.” Violet nodded. “But we don’t have to fear. Mother and Father will get us, and we’ll… we’ll find some other way to clear their names.” 

“And avoid VFD.” Klaus said. 

Sunny quietly nodded, and then nuzzled against Klaus’s chest. “Tired.” 

“Go to sleep, Sunny.” he smiled and ran a hand through her hair. “We’ll be right here.” 

Violet glanced at the ground, and then nodded. “Always.” She curled up on her bed, and said, “Goodnight, Klaus. Let me know if you want me to come over there.” 

“Goodnight, Violet.” 

He rolled over, too, cradling Sunny in his arms. Violet laid on her bed, but faced them. She waited until she heard their snores before quietly getting up, sliding her socks against the wood floor to prevent noise. She crept past her siblings, knowing they were, like her, light sleepers, so she’d have to be very quiet. 

She moved into the hall, before peering through doors. Searching. 

It took a while, but she finally found the library. It was a sprawling room, shaped pretty circular, with most of the walls made up of shelves. She stepped through, and her eyes locked on the far wall- a round, tall panel of glass, behind which was a rather impressive view of the lake. Violet wasn’t one for aesthetics- even if she didn’t live on the run, she didn’t see the point in caring about the appearance of something if it was functional- but even she had to admit, it looked gorgeous. She moved to the window and slid to her knees, putting a soft hand against the glass as she stared at the rushing waves, reflecting the waning moon ahead, and the sprinkle of stars surrounding. 

It looked black, the lake beneath her, but she could still make out the waves, to and fro, to and fro. She remembered once, she was sitting on the beach on her father’s lap, playing with some shells she found. She asked, if she threw the shell into the water, would the waves push it back? He’d smiled and said, “Yeah. It might take a while, depending on if it sinks or floats, or how the waves are moving, or if something hits it, but it’ll be back. Could take a few seconds, could take a few years. But everything washes up eventually.” 

“Everything comes back.” Violet whispered to herself, once again looking at the waves beneath her. 

Then she stood and moved to the shelves, running her hand over the spines of the books, eyes narrowed. She knew what she was looking for- she knew where and how people hid things in libraries. Sure enough, halfway across the wall, there was part of the shelf indented behind the rest. She grabbed the edges and yanked, pushing it back into the wall. 

Behind it, above her, was a portrait of a man Violet guessed was probably Ike. Well, added to the “dead” theory. Beneath that was a safe, which piqued her interest much more. 

She knelt down, feeling around the fob and fuming a little. There’d be a thousand different combinations to try… 

Well, good thing she had Klaus. And, well, if he couldn’t get it open, she could just invent something to break the door off. 

She stood up, sliding the shelf back into place. Soon as Josephine was gone, she and Klaus could break into that no problem. She kept moving around the room, looking for something else suspicious. She paced from one wall to the next, scanning titles and trying to see if there was anything she could investigate now. But most of the books seemed to be about grammar, so they were probably just boring. 

Then she spotted a book, a bit tilted on the shelf, that didn’t have any writing on the spine. She pulled it out, noticing that it was quite tall, and bound with a ribbon. Perhaps a scrapbook? She slipped off the ribbon and flipped it open- yes, scrapbook. 

She knelt on the ground, flicking through pages. Pictures of Josephine and Ike, her fishing, skydiving… shit, wrestling lions. She did used to be cool. The photos weren’t very interesting, but she kept on, until she reached somewhere in the middle of the book, and froze. 

There were photos of some of Josephine’s friends- people she didn’t recognize, for the most part. But in the center was a picture taken of three people at a picnic on the beach- maybe sixteen or seventeen years old. 

She recognized her mother first, with the shape of her eyes and face, so similar to Klaus, and the waves as her hair fell over her shoulder, tied into a ponytail. Sitting cross-legged on the far left was her father, with his glasses and slight curl in his hair, and the way he smiled that looked so much like Sunny. He was sitting beside his future wife, a book on his lap, looking like he’d only just glanced up at Josephine behind the camera. 

She didn’t recognize the third person beside them- a boy about their age, his face a little blurred. But he had an arm around Beatrice, and had a frown on his face, like he was very invested in a conversation that the other two thought was humorous. 

It was funny. That was the same frown she got, when Klaus was annoying her. She’d seen that same look, when she glared into a mirror while something was going wrong with her latest invention. 

Hmm, she must have picked up that look from one of her parents, who got it from him… that had to be Lemony Snicket, then. 

Her parents must miss him a lot. 

Slowly, Violet put the photos away, taking a deep breath, and tried not to think about the obvious question: without him, would they be on the run forever?

[bredsticon-blog]

title: the alternative

part: one (saint or sinner)

desc: you have died. you weren't an extraordinary person when you were alive--you made a few little sins and a few little good deeds, but it's not enough to land you in heaven nor hell. so the reaper gives you two choices: be in limbo forever, or serve equal years in heaven and hell. well, you choose the latter...

tags: angel!nick & demon!zion love triangle (or not? wink), heaven and hell au (yes ik purgatory exists but it has different purposes for this series), ooc (on purpose, i swear), sfw (as in, no smut), gore, violence (i mean, you're in hell...), cussing, murder, mentions of: rape, abuse, addiction (alcohol, LSD, heroin, uhh everything else), mental issues (depression, suicide), and death in general. gender/sex neutral reader (as always) and humor to lighten the mood

word count: 2k

notes: it isn't nearly as scary as the tags make it seem, i promise. i spent a l o n g time on the promo art for this (which imma post LATER) so uhh please read :'( haha yes i WILL finish writing the fma!austin fic and make the part 2 for ¡quake! & ~the wave~ but my ass is still collecting gifs and cleaning up plot holes sksksk and on the 2.76% chance the boys read this: hi follow me im @/bredsticon on ig, i make quality content and be more active on tumblr please we love you

You don't remember dying.

You're dead, and you don't remember dying.

Perhaps, in another life, you once thought that death accompanied a special feeling: life flashing before your eyes, lights out, everything over before your last breath escapes your lungs. But this is... this is slow. So slow. You're still on earth. Floating.. somewhere. Nowhere else. You see the world, all of it. Stars twinkle in the mist. The world around you is gray and dark. You watch your home fall apart. Every crack and shake is in full detail, and, dimly, you watch the sprouting of vines and weeds in its place. The weeds brush heads as they cluster your old house, your old neighborhood, your old country, your old everything.

You're old.

Breathless doesn't begin to describe it. You don't have lungs. You don't have... you don't. You just don't. You are nowhere. You are nothing. You don't exist.

Someone waves inside of you.

What the—

"Hello, Soul One-Hundred Thirty-Three Billion, Seventy-Five Million and Sixty-Five. You're late."

An NYC accent? You're from—

"Now that's a mouthful. I'll just call you Rosebud. See, you were supposed to cross over..." A watch ticks inside your... your form? You? "...millennia ago. Five millennia, in fact."

The voice throws a powder on you. Something blooms inside you, and you fall to the ground.

You gasp—holy shit, you can gasp. You move your head around. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, you have muscles, you have form, you can move. You exist.

The voice has a form, too. He looks like you: human. Flaming blue hair, khaki-colored skin with reddish-pink polka dots and marks. He wears modern clothes: a bright yellow vest and green pants. And glowing. He's like a painting. Human, kinda.

You gape at him. This doesn't exist. This can't exist. You thought you'd be nothing forever. But now you're something and that's something and the world around you is still murky but it's something and oh my God. Oh my fucking God. What happened to you? What happened to your home? Why aren't you dead?

The form smiles at you. "Be careful with mentioning the Master Creator so much. They're listening, y'know. They can tell when you're talking about Them."

He offers you a hand. Shaking, you take it. You wobble so hard you grab his shoulder, and he pats your wrist.

"Relax, Rosebud, we're gonna go up now. Take my hands." Gently, he takes your hand off his shoulder and interlocks your fingers together. You close your eyes as he pulls you close.

Once you open them, you're no longer on Earth.

You're in an office.

Vaguely relaxing piano music plays in the background. The walls gleam "eggshell white" (whatever that means), and copy-and-paste potted plants commiserate in corners, on shelves, and on top of desks. Rows and rows of cubicles line up in front of you, complete with ancient computers, loud clicking, and early morning groans of "I need more coffee, for fu- fun's sake!" A vending machine and a water cooler stand behind you, with banged-up tables interspersed between those.

Someone rises out of a cubicle. His skin is pale, but his hair is dark. "Reaper Honoret Jr.! Is that—oh my goodness, is that the stray? You did it! It took a few millennia, but you did it!"

Honoret Jr. grimaces. "My bad, Dad. The soul blended in so well, it took me a while... my readings showed complete neutrality. It's like there's no one there." The reaper looked back at you. "I only caught a flicker. Right now, I can't—"

His dad chuckles. "Not Dad. It's Reaper Honoret Sr. to you." He winks. "I'm kidding, y'know how they get around here."

He comes forward and wraps his arms around the boy, then unlatches. Without Honoret Jr's support, you fall to the ground, so you watch as he holds his son's shoulders. "Your bad? What do you mean? I'm proud of you. So, so proud. You're the only one who could even—actually, wait."

He turns to face the cubicles. "Reapers of Thanatos & Co., guess who just caught the stray!"

The clicking stops.

Someone coughs. "You're joking, right?"

"Absolutely not. In fact, it's behind me, right now."

Chairs scoot on scratchy carpet as the reapers of Thanatos & Co. nearly jump out of their cubicles to see you. Forty reapers dressed in some manner of business attire speed walk in your direction. One pushes Honoret Jr. out of the way—his dad has to catch him before he falls on his face.

When they see you, they stop. They start staring at the air around you. They sniff like blood hounds.

After a pause, a reaper with large eyebrows turns to another, eyes wide. "I think... I can't... I literally..."

The other nods. "Same here. Reaper Honoret Sr. isn't lying."

The crowd murmurs in agreement.

A reaper with short pink hair raises his hand. When no one calls on him, he puts it down and mutters something about being new. "Wait, if Reaper Honoret Sr. found the stray, shouldn't we tell the Grand Reaper about it first?"

Once more, the crowd murmurs in agreement.

The eyebrow reaper stares at you—no, not at you. Into you. Like you're not even there. "Before that, we need to know who found it. Reaper Honoret Sr., did you find it? We need someone to congratulate."

He grins. "Nope! My son did." He shook his boy's shoulders.

The reaper raises a brow, then gives the blue-haired reaper a look. "Oh. Well, uhm, congratulations."

The crowd weakly claps. Good job... mhm... congratulations, Junior... and then they disperse back into their leather spin chairs.

Honoret Jr. turns to you and makes a face. "Sorry about that. Office drama. Can't escape it, even in this world."

He doesn't look like a reaper to you. No black cloak, no creepy aura, no skeleton fingers. Kind, colorful, couldn't be a reaper. Nope. Impossible. None of this is.

"You're not believing a lot of things, I know. The first few days are the hardest." He gifts you with another smile. "You'll get there, I promise. I'm here to help.

"Name's Edwin, by the way. You've been calling me Honoret Jr. and that just gives me middle school flashbacks. No thanks."

You can't even make a proper facial expression to react to that. You can't formulate words—or even walk without Edwin holding your hand. He's reading your thoughts, at least. You're basically a vegetable.

He shrugs. "Give it a few hours, Rosebud. The vegetable'll wear off. Your body's just adjusting to this plane. No shame."

You can't speak, so you just think of the word: thanks. My name is—

"Oh, I know what your name is. I've been searching for you for five millennia. I'd be a horrible reaper if I didn't know."

He extends a hand. "Speaking of vegetable and horrible reaper, I bet you're hungry. You're also naked. Let's fix that."

-

Reapers need to eat, surprisingly. Edwin leads you through a myriad of hallways with the exact same paintings and potted plants (this is disgustingly easy to get lost in, you think. Edwin agrees) until you reach the break room. It takes you an hour.

No one's in there except you two. Edwin gave you some of his clothes (kept in another room), so you're wearing a red fit with a black vest and a lime green beanie. He tried to offer his matching ski mask, but you managed to mentally shout "No!" before he put it away. You don't mind wearing his stuff, but you wonder what that could imply. Do reapers...? Actually, you don't wanna think about that.

The break room curves up into a sparkling, plastic chandelier. The rest of the room accommodates a fridge plastered in posters, a microwave, and a dirty coffee maker paired with beige countertops. A pile of paper plates and utensils decorates the left countertop, while a sink occupies the right end. Island tables take up the rest of the center, leaving room for vending machines in the back.

Edwin scrunches his nose. "Who's bummy ass forgot to wash the coffee pot? Ew." He examines it, then starts washing the dishes.

He looks back at you. "You can go raid the fridge. Just don't touch the lunch boxes or uh—bento boxes, I think. Those are Reaper Porter's, and he will get very mad if you touch his bento. I did that once, so he threw a fork at me then said I messed with his feng shui."

Edwin mutters something about unseasoned chicken as he continues scrubbing coffee stains.

You stand up. Your walk is wobbly at best, and you feel like a pile of jello—you're weak in the knees, like jello. But you're getting there. Its better than before. At some point in your hour-long journey to the break room, poor Edwin had to carry you. You felt bad, but at least he's strong. Maybe it's a reaper thing.

You stumble to the fridge. Posters and dates and schedules cover the surface, but you brush past them to find what truly matters: the food.

Reaper office food tastes just as bland as human office food. How sad.

You find that your body works just like it used to. You're hungry, you can feel pain, and you're starting to move. It's like you never died. And now you're in a huge office full of slightly-glowy people who call themselves Reapers and also can't sense you, which is a concept you still don't understand. Or maybe you didn't die? Maybe someone stirred some LSD in your drink? And this is all... a major... acid... trip...

You blink, then pinch yourself. Nope. You're 'swell.

Edwin pulls out a chair. "Now that we're done with the basics, Rosebud, we need to get you registered. You're a bit of a weird case, but you're not too too special. Just uncommon."

He pauses. "Well, actually, you might be a little more special than that. Just a tad."

You give him a look. Something builds in your throat.

"What the fuck?"

He giggles. "Those are your first words on this plane? I—"

"No, seriously. What. The. Fuck." You sound like a cheese grater but you don't care. "I literally have no idea what's going on. I died, I think, then I watched mankind die too as the Earth turned into dandelions, then you went inside of me and threw some pixie dust to make me come back again, suddenly I'm in a 90s sitcom office and I'm naked which literally no one told me about until everyone else saw me as bare as the day I was born and—"

Edwin pats your hand. "All right, all right, let it out, let it out. I'll explain everything. It's just really long." He rubs the back of his neck. "And we're kinda on a time crunch here."

"A time crunch. When it took us an hour just to get a snack."

"Yes, a time crunch. We have about two more hours to get you registered before you become tied to this plane. Then you'll have to become a reaper, like me, and you don't wanna become a reaper." He bites deeply into his peanut butter and banana sandwich. "Shit's hard."

"I can't even—"

"Mhm." He says through a mouthful of peanut butter. "I'm rellay sorreh you're goineh frough thif. I geh how you feel. Eferyone dehs."

He swallows. "We all started out alive. No one's been here since the beginning. Except for some of the seraphim, I guess. But the rest of us? We just humans the Master Creator decided to gift. You're not alone in this. I went through the same bullshit as you. I get it."

You bow your head down. Your thoughts are too jumbled to feel actual anger. "Thanks, Edwin."

"You honestly deserve better, but no problem." He stands up and wipes his hands on a napkin. "Imma clean up after myself, so you can get a head start. We do only have two hours." He yanks you out of the chair. Still chewing, you watch as Edwin shoves you out the break room.

"Wait—hold up—wh—I don't know where I'm supposed to—"

He grins. "You will! Your senses will guide you."

"What— more vague shi—" and the door slams.