#ik this is supposed to be like super fucking sad but I can not take the Charon part seriously sorry yall

[idyllcy]

你还爱我吗? 我还爱你。

word count: 5.3k || Banner art by pimientosdulces

warnings: hurt no comfort

summary: death, you can not escape, yet Thanatos prays you will

No one escapes death. No one cheats death. and no one never meets death more than necessary.

Most of the people around you fall again and again, death incarnate a long-familiar face to you as you watch him claim your family, leaving you all alone. You know the reason, your family worships someone long-fallen, someone that would result in the rage of Olympus up above. You have no feelings, tending to the temple as one after the other falls, until there is no one left but you. You find that the benefit is that you will never age. Forever alone in the small temple your family built, only death capable of claiming you. You have not cheated death. Death has cheated the underworld, perhaps. You find no reason to be treated as such.

Your sister is next, and as you sit next to her bed, eyes closed, humming a final song to her, listening to the way her breath slowed and her heart faded. When she passes, you continue sitting there, waiting for an old presence to return next to you.

"Fair maiden."

"Death." You nod. "Am I next?"

"I do not know. I am simply assigned people. I do not choose them." He nods at you as you let go of your sister's hand, eyes stuck on her body as Thanatos returns her to the dead, placing her into Charon's boat. "Do you have her fare?"

You rummage through your pockets, handing him the obon prepared for your sister.

"You are the final one. Is there a reason the gods wish for you all to be eradicated?"

"We are traitors." You smile, lips curled upwards as Thanatos stares down at you, unfamiliar warmth crawling up the back of his neck at your visage. Death does not fold nor wait for anyone. Death does not pardon the living. Death claims who it needs to with the embrace of eternity, soul laid to rest in the Underworld as the living continue.

Yet, he never brings you back when you are requested of by Hades.

"Do you wish to live?"

"It does not matter to me. The servants have died, and there is nothing left for me in this world. You are the only one who can come to claim me."

"Do you miss your family?" Thanatos notes the next assignment of his.

"It does not matter anymore."

"I will see you when it is your time."

Thanatos recalls the first time he had met you. When the ones on Olympus wished for the eradication of a family of Chronos worshippers, your father was claimed first — as once you claim the head of the family, the rest will crumble ever so quickly. Your father passed through the strike of lighting, a clear warning to stop what was happening in your abode, yet no one batted an eye. You had stayed by your father's side as his firstborn, the man bearing no sons, and you had looked at him — something that should not have been possible for a person of the realm of the living.

"This is his obol." You had mentioned. "May he be placed where he is deemed fit."

Thanatos had not talked to you — your age far too young for you to understand just what was happening, and he had left as quickly as he had arrived. It is not as though he had never seen a child by the body of the dead, but the sight of you alone was unnerving. Perhaps it is just a cruel thing of fate. It was cruel that someone as fair as you would be visited so many times by he.

The next, it is your mother. Once again, it had been you, and you had handed him the obol that was to be placed with the dead. You are in mourning clothes, still, and you hold the hand of your mother, even as her body is cold. Thanatos can not trace the grief that wracks your soul and body. You are weighed down by something, and perhaps, it is something that will kill you some day. Perhaps the weight of death has long become something you have grown used to, only in the people you tend to in the temple and not the people of your own home. Perhaps you know that committing a treason will get you nowhere.

"You can see me." He speaks this time, but he does not respond to you when you ask him if he knows why.

Your mother's body is passed along the River Styx, and you return to tending to the Temple of Time. Thanatos knows the end will arrive for you soon, but considering the ages of every worshipper there was in the temple, you would not change all that much the next couple times he meets you. You are blessed to stay forever young, cursed to meet death at the hands of all the Olympians. Your family is blessed to stay in their youth, but cursed to be unable to escape death. Thanatos will be meeting you many more times in the future, and he finds that perhaps he has no chance or right to complain. If you are not complaining, then how could he?

"My sister." You hand him the obol, nodding as he takes the first of your sisters.

"Do you mourn?"

"What is there to mourn when you are in the wrong?" You hum. "May they be blessed with their stay in Asphodel."

Thanatos finds that you do not age after that. Time is on your side, a titan long forgotten and locked away by the people, a world in which you would be struck down by the heavens as result of such. Yet, you continue tending to the temple, perhaps wishing that you would keep your youth, rosy complexion, and dazzling lashes, skin healthy and unblemished, forever in your youth as a result of such. Perhaps you have sold your soul to become the way you are. Perhaps, he is no better than mortals who wage wars to destroy each other over beauty. Perhaps, if it ever would come to it, Thanatos would have his hands stained with far more than what Ares could ever dream of being stained with — all over you.

Your aunt is claimed next, and at that point, the worshippers have learned to stop visiting the temple. He does not recall if he had ever seen your aunt in the temple when he passed by to claim your parents, but he does not think too much of it. You had been the only one to ever be by the dead, perhaps as an offering to calm Thanatos at the sight of you — or, perhaps you were simply placed there because you had been the fairest of your sisters. Perhaps it was meant to please Thanatos, and it would have been a lie for him to say it did not.

"My aunt has no children." You hand him the fare, fingers brushing his palm, bowing gently as he takes her.

His gaze lingers on you for longer than acceptable, and he leaves once more.

You do not learn. Your family does not learn, and before long, it is your uncle, your sister, your cousin, your elders. By the final time that Thanatos arrives, it is one of your final two sisters.

Thanatos has long grown used to the sight of you, youth on your skin, apple of your cheeks, from your hair to your feet, Thanatos could have imagined you with a close of his eyes, perhaps heart-racing at the thought of you. He has fallen for you, just through your knowing of death. Perhaps, he will never be loved back, death far too cold for the average person — perhaps his skin would freeze yours over, and you would be cursed with the grasp of death, and the thought was far more fearful than he would have believed it to be.

Yet, he arrives to bring one of your final sisters to the dead, holding his palm out for the obol in your hand, and he stares at your hair, the way you do not bat an eye at death himself, and it ruins his mind with thoughts of perhaps letting you live forever. Perhaps, your age will never catch up with you, and you would become someone he hides from the House of Hades — someone that he would adore to no end and let live for eternity. Though, not that he has the choice.

"You do not learn." He blinks at you.

"No, I do not." You smile, staring death in the eyes as your youngest sister peeks from the door, watching you speak to the air. "Death, I do not wish for my sister to bury me. If they request one of our souls, do assure me that the youngest will live to see Elysium."

"I can not make such exceptions."

"It was worth the attempt." He takes your sister, body reaped as you watch her disappear.

"Adelphḗ, who are you talking to?"

"I told you not to come inside." You turn around to shield her eyes, Thanatos's gaze lingering on the small of your back as your sister peeks past your fingers to stare at death himself. She can not see him. Only you are the exception.

"Who is next?"

"I do not know."

"I can not hear him." She mumbles. "Perhaps you possess the blessing of Hades himself."

"No. There is no such thing." You hum. "Shall we go?"

"And leave death alone?"

"He is gone." You turn to stare at him again, and he nods.

"Until my assignment brings my return."

"Will you be next?"

"No." You promise. "I will not let anyone force you to bury your sister alive."

"Then I am next?"

"You will find mother and father before I do." You hum. "Though, I can not promise it will happen."

"You have buried us all. Must you bury me too?"

"I can not protect you against the gods." You close your eyes. "You may refrain from your duties tonight. Perhaps they will be less angered if you do so."

Your servants are the ones taken next. No matter how far they ventured from the temple, had they worked for your family, they are returned to death. You send them their fare to the underworld, and Thanatos learns to visit you for the fare instead of returning to the body eventually. The servants do not have the fare for the underworld, and you, their ever-loving master, do. So, you pay their obol, coins in your hand as Thanatos arrives at your place, resting in the corner of the room until your sister has left and it is you alone.

"Another one?" There is a sense of exhaustion that wracks deep in your soul that only Thanatos can feel.

"I can not go against it, fair maiden." He takes the obol from you, and you take note of the coldness of his skin.

"May I pay in advance?"

"You may not."

"Very well." You hum. "There are four left. If I am not in our home at the time, please pull open the drawer to take the obol."

"Do you not worry that death will cheat you?"

"What is there for death to cheat me of?"

Thanatos finds that you are right. When he is free of assignments, he lingers around your abode, watching your youngest sister learn to cook from you, noting down the way you ignored his presence no matter how close he was to you. He is respectful, yet he watches, eyes glued to the way your fingers have grown rougher from the housework, smile on your face, still, as your sister asks you to help her out. The indomitable human spirit exists, he finds. It is the same as the warrior who fights after a limb is hacked off on the battlefield, and the mother who uses the last of her dying energy to nurse her child. You do not waver even with the death of your family, responsibility long shrouded on your shoulders and no longer something you pay attention to.

"Rest well, Agape." You brush her hair to the side, making sure the young one is rested before you get up to return to your own quarters.

"She is next." Thanatos tells you.

"It is decided?"

"You must be the one to kill her." Thanatos hums. "Will you?"

"No." You laugh. "Once she is gone, I may return to my family as well."

Thanatos stares at you, watching as you lean against the wall, moon pale against your skin as you laugh. Perhaps in a sense of desperation, but the white coat of the moon is enough for him to quietly pray that you would become someone of his sort. Perhaps, you would gain the eternity that so many mortals longed for — that you would become a god as Heracles had. Yet, his thoughts are fleeting, for there was no way that Hades himself would grant death to leave you to stay in your youth for eternity.

"How are they?"

"They are in Asphodel."

"I know." You close your eyes, brows furrowed slightly as you calm yourself down. "Eternal damnation is slightly better when with family, no?"

"And if you do not end up in Asphodel?"

You raise a brow. "My bloodline and ancestry is cursed to Asphodel. What would make me different?"

"Death's favor?"

"That is preposterous." You laugh. "Though, I appreciate it, death."

"Thanatos. Refer to me by name, maiden."

You stare at him, shaking your head.

It would be rude.

Your sister passes just as quickly as the rest of your family, her body placed on the bed for death as Thanatos comes to collect the Obon.

"Death." You are much more stricken with a grief and exhaustion — of equal amounts with the men of age who had fought in wars and found that it was all in vain when they are sent to Asphodel. It is something disturbing, even to death, but he does not have the luxury to consider such when he claims each soul. He is not to be moved during his assignments, no matter how often he met you or others. You should not be special to him.

"Do you wish to live for eternity?"

"Of what use is it if I do not age?" You hum.

"Change the temple."

"I can not." You shake your head. "Death, I will be struck down by one more, one far more powerful than the rest."

"Time can not destroy you."

"Time can." You stare him in the eye. "Time can wither me or return me to the form I was before birth. It is terrifying... something far more horrific than death."

"Then die." He offers you his hand, and you stare at it.

"When my assignment is sent in, will you grant me a wish?"

"You long for a wish?"

"Perhaps I do." You smile coyly, and Thanatos wonders just if he was the one being kind or you were the one being cruel.

Perhaps you are simply taking advantage of him. So, when death returns to take you, you are gone. He follows your soul, and it remains forever stored in the Temple of Time, unable to track you down by flesh alone. You have cheated death. You are cruel, yet he finds that it does not matter. You did not long for something that others would have. Your human spirit was not indomitable, and it was nowhere near as strong as the men of war. You have lost all that chains you to the earth, so it would only be so long until you returned to retrieve your soul and return to the dead.

"You failed to retrieve the soul?"

"It is chained in the Temple of Time that you had wished for to be eradicated. I can not claim the soul without the body." Thanatos reports. "Let me retrieve the person."

"You can not do such a thing." Hades bellows. "If death chases a single individual, what will become of the others who need to pass?"

"Keres." Thanatos speaks.

"No." Hades turns him down. "Rather, I will send someone else."

It is proved to be futile when your soul is never retrieved, and Thanatos finds that you are gone.

"Let me do it." He argues again. "Moros can only do so much as the doom incarnate. To that soul, their doom is not death."

Hades lets Thanatos do the job, though begrudgingly. He has a couple of hours in between assignments to locate your body to retrieve you back to where you belong. You are not found for a long time, and he finds that at one point, the gods fade, their influence over the mortal realm dwindling as they do. Thanatos remains with the rest of the family, finding that there are others who deal with the dead alongside him in regions not limited to Greece. He will not find you, he believes. So, he jars your leftover soul, embedding it into his scythe, perhaps as a last attempt as a form of desperation to keep you close to him. He should not have fallen for you, yet he did, and it would have been the end of his life had it happened.

His companion, Zagreus takes notice the quickest.

"Thanatos, don't you believe... that you have changed? Who is this fair maiden? Perhaps I will find her at the surface."

"Don't say such nonsensical things, Zagreus. She is no longer in Greece."

"That is only what you believe, no? Surely she is out there."

"That is not possible."

"Oh, you wouldn't know until you get there yourself."

While searching for a satyr sack, Zagreus encounters a new chamber, blinking quickly as he enters, lack of rats and satyrs apparent as he continues walking through each door, the final one leading to a cloaked figure, lack of visible features, a gentle laugh on their lips as they blink at the godling. They take two steps back, a satyr sack in hand, stepping onto the red plate, and Zagreus follows suit, watching as they move Cerberus to the side for Zagreus to leave. It is a sight, the guardian of the underworld enjoying the smaller sack as Zagreus passes without issue.

"Lovely shade, who might you be?!" Zagreus calls, time short before Cerberus would remember that the prince isn't allowed to pass.

They do not answer, waving their hand at the prince instead.

The second time, Zagreus leaves them a bottle of nectar, a smile on his face as he thanks them, ruffling Cerberus' fur along the way, grinning.

"Shade, will you tell me your name?"

They shake their head, waving goodbye to the prince.

The shade is not present in the next handful of runs, and instead, only tens later does Zagreus find his way back through the gates of Charon's obol with no satyrs and rodents, standing before the hooded shade as they hand him the satyr sack this time, obol dropped in his hand as he nods. They would not be going with him this time, and perhaps, it was simply out of some sort of desperation.

"Dear shade, won't you tell me your name? Has death claimed you?"

The shade shakes its head, and Zagreus sighs.

"May this bottle of nectar keep you company." He hands it to the shade, bottle held as Zagreus runs off.

The prince of the underworld drops off bottles of nectar each time he runs into them, nectar turning to ambrosia before he starts bringing plush companions. He shows them the small mouse, death on it as the hooded figure reaches to brush the cheek of the plush, and Zagreus trusts that if they could talk, they would have called it cute. There is a sense of tenderness that only someone who knows would be able to feel for it. It is beautiful, Zagreus thinks. Perhaps Thanatos should know of them.

"There is this shade up by the Temple of Styx," Zagreus tries, introducing them to Thanatos slowly. "Are they claimed?"

"A shade? Or a real person?"

"I do not know." Zagreus hands him a bottle of ambrosia. "They do not speak."

"I do not see how that is of my concern." Thanatos raises a brow, accepting the drink.

"Call it reincarnation's instinct." Zagreus hums. "Or, call it a prince's fleeting thoughts."

Thanatos pays Zagreus no mind, sending the dead on their way to each region of the Underworld as instructed, too busy for such fleeting thoughts of the prince's words. Zagreus may have a point, but without a voice and characteristics, there is no way to determine whether or not it was truly you. Besides, with your soul chained to his scythe, there was no way you would have been able to enter the temple without notifying him in some way. Hades would have noted if the intruder had there been a disturbance. It is not death's job to clean up such things.

Yet, the prince does not stop, bottle after bottle handed to him, always nudging death to take a peek at the "dear shade," refusing to let Thanatos erase such a shade from his presence.

"Zagreus." Thanatos warns. "I will not do such a thing."

Zagreus shrugs. "It would not hurt, Thanatos."

Thanatos finds it childish.

Yet, Zagreus returns to the shade when he can, bottle of nectar replaced with Ambrosia as he laughs, grinning as the shade thanks him with their hands, words never coming out.

"Oh, dear shade, won't you tell me who you are?" He hums, smiling as the shade does not move its head, tracing gentle patterns on Zagreus' skin instead, letters spelling out gratitude and none else.

"Perhaps you are bound?"

The shade shakes its head, and Zagreus is sent on his way again.

Surely, the shade was who Thanatos was looking for.

"Than, I really think you should see them." Zagreus insists. "You must trust me."

"Zagreus, I have work to attend to."

"I know, but it is not so." Zagreus shakes his head. "During a break when you seek the soul that you have been for so long, visit the chamber of coins in the Temple of Styx."

Thanatos truly does not wish to, too focused on retrieving your soul, but he makes the time for his dear friend. He enters the temple and flutters through the walls and doors, staring at the shade as they move their head to listen to the sound of the air changing. Thanatos does not understand how the shade would be you, but he understands how Zagreus could have mistaken it to be so. After all, the prince had only heard about you, never to meet you. You are two different people in his mind, the shade holding your physique but not your body. It is a strange sight to behold.

"Shade." He speaks. "Are you lost?"

The shade does not answer, simply shaking its head instead.

"Do you not speak?"

They shake their head.

Death does not linger, choosing to leave quickly instead.

It is strange for a shade to be misplaced, but it would be a report from his end rather than a whole ordeal done by him to return the shade. The shade is not special enough for him to tend to, yet Zagreus insists that he continue to return to the shade, even if the shade does not return an answer to him. Zagreus insists that this is the shade, and that Thanatos must be the one to discover and recall that on his own. Yet, Thanatos refuses to accept the reality that you are perhaps the shade, stuck in a circle of denial as he returns again and again to the shade's silence to his questions, only a nod and shake of a head available to death himself.

Perhaps, he is longing for something that he can not have.

And as all things are, Thanatos grows increasingly agitated at the shade's lack of response to some questions, bottle tipping over as it spills and cracks all over the floor, stuck as he raises his voice at a shade that has done no wrong to him. He is stuck, pondering, wondering, longing and craving the feeling of your fingers against his palm when you handed him the obol, eyes wide in frustration at a shade that does not speak and chatter as the other shades do. He is cursed to be unable to see you again, and even if he does, he knows he can not delay the inevitable that he will have to kill you.

"TALK TO ME." Thanatos raises his voice, reaching for their hood, throwing it off as he stares down at you in horror, tears in his eyes at the lack of features. Your face does instinctually tilts up, but you can not see the face of the death that you have grown so used to. Instead, there is nothing. You lack a face, and Thanatos understands just why you had chosen to remain silent around him all the times before. It was not a choice. Your skin is unblemished and smooth, eyes and nose missing, as though you were a body lacking a soul — a blank canvas that would hurt someone to look at for too long.

"You are faceless. My fair maiden, you are faceless." He brushes his thumb over what would have been your cheek, eyes weary and soul tired as he rests his forehead onto where yours should have been. His fingers are cold against the lukewarm skin on your face, his soul weighed down by the reality he had chosen to ignore, tired and refusing to accept that the end of your tale would be here in the Temple of Styx. "Here, this belongs to you."

Thanatos returns your soul, your face returning, a smile on your face that Thanatos had engrained into his mind, burned into the depths of his memories, fearing that the years he reaped souls would catch up to him and erase all of your presence in his mind. Your visage is returned, complexion never changing, youth forever engrained in the gentleness of your skin. Your eyes open first, staring up at death as he is floating, exhausted smile on his face as you look up at him with a fondness that perhaps only you could have felt for something so many despised in the world.

"I am sorry, death." You smile sadly, heart sour in your chest as he stares at you. You reach for the bottles of nectar and ambrosia next to you, handing them to death himself as he grimaces. There is no happy ending fated for the two of you. Death can not love the living, as all things will pass through his hands, only to end up in the underworld in a place that he will not have the time to visit. It will kill him and eat him alive, hurting him until there was nothing left, and he would have become the cold and senseless death that so many people feared.

Yet, yet, yet, Thanatos wondered if you could be the one to save and help him. Perhaps, in your hands, death would be a little warmer, a blanket thrown over a child when they are young, the embrace of a parent that has long left the earth, or the tranquility that one would feel in a field of emptiness with just the night sky. Perhaps, with your hands in his, he could be a death that people learn to accept and not fear, and that he would become a symbol of a restful death, rather than as a sentence to eternal damnation. He longs to be what you have learned to see him as, but neither of you have a choice in the matter.

Death will be feared regardless of who it is accompanied by.

"Do not apologize." He whispers, staring at you as his hands freeze in place and he is unable to move. He wants to comfort you, but the touch of death will forever be cold no matter how warm and loving he wishes to come off as. You will only feel the piercing ice of death, not the warmth and sweetness of life that he so wanted you to feel. He can not be the comfort he longs to give you. He will hurt you more than heal, and your soul will break even with the gentlest of moments together. You will not live as long as you are by his side.

"I believe it is time for my soul to be reaped." You smile. "It was a pleasure being acquainted with death himself. If there is a next life, may I be someone immortal so that I would be able to hold death in my embrace, my skin warm against yours."

"Do not say that." Thanatos' grip tightens on his scythe, hands shaking as you look at him again.

"I am sorry, Thanatos." You smile sadly, eyes closed as he reaps your soul.

"No," He whispers gently, kneeling by your side as he holds your leftover body. "I am sorry, for even death himself can not bear to live without your beauty"

And you return to the Styx, eyes closed as Charon carries you off to be registered with Hypnos.

He stares at your face, and Thanatos sighs.

"I can not save her."

Charon response with a groan.

"Is that so? She will not get her body back."

A rumble.

"And what do you suppose I do?"

Charon lifts your body from the boat, handing you to Thanatos as he takes you, eyes glued to your empty chest as Thanatos understands.

"Really? Master Hades will not like that."

"Nhhhhhrg."

"If you insist."

Death has no chambers, as they are only a formality, yet Thanatos wonders if this was simply what the fates had wished for as he lays your body in his bed. You are peaceful, eyes closed, empty hole in your chest as he stares, regret wracking his body as he stares at you for as long as he can without growing nauseous. He should not have reaped you. He should have brought you to death and chained a sentence to his heart to let you live, to beg and kneel to stay beside you — yet he can not do so any longer. You are nothing more than dead now. Not even death himself can return you to life.

Your body is safe, and only your soul remains to be saved.

Thanatos leads your dead soul through Hypnos and then seals it away again into his scythe, waiting for the chance to return it to your dead body, waiting for the day you would be seen again, for a day that he would have the time.

And when he gets the chance, he returns your soul, fingers brushing your hair as he waits an eternity for you to wake back up, death a long thing of the past, as rumored that the cold death that gave a warm embrace was replaced by Hades himself, swift snap of fingers, brought in by the boatman, yet death nowhere in sight, longing for the warm fingers of the person he had found he could not live without. Death remains by her bedside, eyes closed for the eternity that his love would have her eyes closed, two resting side by side in a blessing of sleep by his brother.

And there is a rumor, that the swift death of the past is replaced by the slow death of doom and sleep, by the violent death of Keres, for the death that our ancestors felt is waiting for the return of his lover from himself. That his soul would lead her out of the eternity of darkness, and her eyes would open and he would cry, warmth of her fingertips on his skin as he closes his eyes to thank Olympus above.

But, until then, the doom of mankind is inevitable.

[lonesplashy]

Ok I see ppl on Tumblr talking Abt how much they liked the final episodes but honestly I was severely underwhelmed by the fionna and cake ending. If you don't want to see me just list out everything I like and dislike and why according to my arbitrary personal preferences scroll now.

The second half of the fight with scabby was meh and repetitive. At least the gumlee was cute. Fionna is still the bestest even if her final fight kinda sucked. I love her dearly and I hope she is living her best life.

The lack of Ooo Marceline in the end was literally so disappointing too I wish we could've seen her again at SOME point.

And just in general the ending felt really rushed, I feel like if they had some more episodes to work with it would've been a lot smoother.

Simons pov was just so severely underwhelming, it just felt like filler to me.

I literally didn't care if it was going to be happy or sad ending for Simon as long as it made me feel things like the last couple of episodes did but it just felt totally flat. It didn't really feel like an ending at all. I wouldn't even mind the breakup angle they took under normal circumstances if it wasn't for the fact he like. Literally spent 12 years basically being in a constant mental breakdown, and a thousand years before that subconsciously searching for her, and her literally driving herself to insanity and becoming golb to keep him safe, but wow suddenly everything's chill cuz he played a video game. Ok. Simon just realized that whoops he didn't always take Betty's feelings into account and they parted ways.

And I will repeat: I DO NOT MIND THE BREAK UP ANGLE. IT MAKES SENSE OBJECTIVELY. HOWEVER. IT FEELS LIKE THERE WAS LIKE. TWO MINUTES OF THOUGHT PUT INTO IT. DEFINITELY NOT SUPER HEARTSTRINGS PULLING TO ME. DO NOT GET IN MY COMMENTS BEING WELL ACTKULLY THIS IS JUST ME COMPLAINING ABOUT CARTOONS.

I liked the golbetty in the bus and the golbetty statue. I could bs something about them going their separate ways on a journey the other can't go on and insert trigun quote here about how the ticket to the future is always blank but I just really like golbetty. She's great shes monsterous she's perfect.

Just in general Simon and Betty felt off to me during the final episodes, I can't really put my finger on it but they just felt weird. I'm sure Betty's been doing a lot of thinking in the void and all but it still fell to the left of them I think. The whole time I was watching I was just like. Hm.

Edit: got it. Betty has always been wanting to keep Simon thinking about her. Always. With AI Betty head she flat out said "I knew it would drive you crazy but at least you'd always be thinking about me" and it's like a core thing she does stuff for the Dramatics. While you can argue she's been doing a lot of thinking in the void and matured because of it she's also been a goddess of CHAOS. If anything she's gonna go more loony rather than more mature.

Not to sound like a doomed crazy yuri enthusiast but there are literally no normal or healthy actions you can take after literally becoming a god for someone.

Maybe I'm just too committed to the bit but I'm a solid believer that if you start a weird fucked up path you gotta end on a weird fucked up note. Although the severe disappointment of nothing happening is probably the most fucked up thing they could do to me.

Ik it's supposed to be some sometimes life doesn't give you a tidy ending stuff but also this is fiction I get enough fuck yous like this from reality and ignored job applications I want my fuck yous from fiction to be not sadly vague. Or at least better written.

At least Simon's in therapy. About time.

And the little emoticons he's using in his phone. :)

Do feel free to put your own opinions in on whether you liked or disliked the ending just play nice 🤙

[mattnchrisworld]

opinion on madi and laura

oh god here we go

I honestly feel like I can’t form an opinion on madi because she doesn’t really say a lot?? Like idrk what else she does besides post tiktoks of herself and pics on ig like idk😭😭 she’s so pretty tho and seems super sweet & honestly im just an alahna girl ride or die so it just makes me sad to see madi that basically replaced her (even tho ik that’s not madi’s fault and we don’t even know the full story) like it’s not that I don’t like madi i think i just don’t get it but she must be a good person and friend if she’s been the triplets bff for years 🤷🏻‍♀️

laura on the other hand…. the discourse and threads on Reddit about her i eat tf up like im sorry but the fact that she moved the boys out to LA and into her house when they were so young is just really weird to me and its just soooo unprofessional to me that they have such a close personal relationship w her when she’s supposed to be their manager it’s sus as fuck. i mean i can understand being close with your manager but at some point you have to separate it a little bit and the fact that she takes just them and madi on little getaway trips all the time is weird idk. i feel like the triplets have outgrown her as their manager like what is she actually doing for them at this point it’s all a very weird situation and I really don’t understand it because I don’t see them ever moving on from her because of their close friendship w madi and her when really they do need to move on and grow. and you can’t tell me at least half of it isn’t for her own and madi’s personal gain like im sorryyyyy i could say so much more on this but I’ll shut my mouth for now

[compassionatereminders]

Hey! I went through a break up about 3 months back that completely blindsided me too. It was a 5 month relationship but it was very intense. He pursued me right from the get go and i thought things were great between us until he just finally said "I don't feel butterflies anymore. ". I get a lot of male attention because I'm what you'd consider conventionally pretty in India, but this completely shattered me because it made me feel that he just liked me for how I looked.

Before him, I was in a 2 year relationship which also broke my heart completely. i only gave my now ex a chance because he seemed so sure of me and that he'd catch me if I fell but here we are 8 months later, he doesn't give a fuck and I just got super depressed after.

Idk why I'm telling you this, and I know your 5 year relationship and my 5 month relationship aren't really similar but ik how you feel. or i can relate in some way.

I'm so exhausted with dating and men and I've been abused before in the past. i just can't seem to catch a break up with men and relationships and I feel so done but I'm also so sad because I feel so little and like I just don't matter even tho i try so hard to be a good girlfriend.

Things are weird but I'm just waiting for the day this doesn't hurt anymore.

In the meanwhile, I cut him out and i haven't spoken to him in 2 months because this shit ain't gonna stand but lmao i don't think he even cares that I'm gone. But oh well c'est la vie.

We'll survive, you and me. Relationships are brutal.

Relationships AREN'T supposed to be brutal though. And while it will take me a very long time to get to a place where I will want to even consider dating in any capacity, it's important for me to hold onto the fact that it is not supposed to be like this and it is also not doomed to be like this. There will be more love. Love that isn't brutal and doesn't leave you feeling terrible. It might take years to actually find it, but I gotta trust that it's out there and I gotta trust that I can have it

[snortoborto]

Ik this is the only place that anyone will care about my musings about (super culturally relevant in 2024) musical Dear Evan (Hansen).

Idk anyway, it's not really ever been one of my favorites per say, and I know the time has passed, but, I kinda wanna talk about Connor Murphy. (These are all just my takes as someone who likes musicals but doesn't participate in like, musical fandom.)

I think it's very obvious that Evan is supposed to be a pretty relatable character, because of his struggle with mental illness. Feeling anxious and unsure of ourselves, especially in relation to other people, is a feeling we've all experienced, especially a lot of teenagers. That feeling of isolation leading Evan to an attempt, is really raw and resonates with a lot of people. Still, the narrative shows us all of Evan, messy or not. He's young, he's mentally ill, he's human. He makes mistakes that end up hurting people, and we see that all. But I ultimately believe that the narrative eventually portrays him in a very human, forgiving light, by the end. He's a kid who made mistakes. He's well rounded and ultimately sympathetic, while still flawed and uncomfortable. I like that.

I wish Connor got the same grace tbh. All we know about him, the REAL Connor, is that he's a troubled kid, who's perpetually stoned, and nothing more than a bother to his family. He's mentally ill, just like Evan, but where Evan failed an attempt, Connor succeeded. Where I see a difference is in the way their mental illnesses surface, in terms of behavior. Being mentally ill isolates both boys, but in a different way.

Evan closes himself off. He's passive and shy, but has a mom who's constantly trying to be there to encourage him and provide for him. Connor's mental illness surfaces in a different way. He's violent. He's angry. He copes by using drugs. His mental illness is not quiet, does not present passively, and his family rejects him because of that. Even his mom, who wants to love him, only can once Evan presents a version of Conner that wasn't so difficult. Connor is too messy to get the understanding he deserves.

The way that Connor essentially has his voice and expirences taken from him, and softened, sanitized (by Evan) in order to finally gain acceptance from his family and peers is genuinely fucking crushing. The way he couldn't be loved as the person he was, because his coping mechanisms were taboo and his mental illness wasn't docile enough for understanding, kills me fr.

I'm not really sure how much of this is actually planned, thematic commentary, but, just the fact that Connor isn't even THE REAL CONNOR for most of the events of the plot (just Evan's idea of him) feels so fucking sad. Yeah, sure, sad for Evan that this is his only shot at friendship, but mostly sad for Connor that he could never be loved as he was, even by his own family, and only in death, was he sanitized enough to win sympathy and understanding.

He wasn't worthy of love or help when he had loud, violent, ugly mental health episodes. Or when he was using drugs and self medicating on a daily basis, cause all that stuff is uncomfortable. That's the ugly side of mental illness. His family didn't help him, they pushed him away and labeled him as a monster, unworthy of support. The fact that the only thing that softed Connor's family to him was a classmate completely rewriting his life, to make it more palatable is so disheartening.

It makes me wish that the focus was more on Connor and his family, that we got to spend more time with him. Some people are mentally ill in a way that's socially permissible, and some people are simply too sick, so we might as well just treat them like the bad people they were born to be.

Evan does (obviously, it's the whole point of the show) grapple with his actions, caused by mental illness. He finds himself acting immorality and being manipulative, but he's allowed that space to make mistakes. He has to opportunity to learn and begin on his path to forgiveness. Not Connor. He's already too far gone.

His mental illness isn't quiet. It doesn't make him act meek or anxious, like Evan. It makes him violent and angry and I can't help but feel like the narrative is punishing him for that. For having ugly symptoms that hurt people, most of all, himself. I can't help but feel like the way that Evan took full control of Connor's voice in order to make him more manageable is like a condemnation of who Connor was in life. Same with making his family hate him. I feel like I'm being told that this kid was a burnout piece of shit, not worth being remembered for who he was, but Evan's heart is in the right place by trying to whitewash his life, for the comfort of the family that rejected him.

Obviously the point of the show is that what Evan did was wrong, but it's wrong because he lied to his crush and her family, not because he took Connor's voice for his own, when Connor deserved to keep that agency for himself. It's framed as wrong cause he lied to the family, not because he spoke over someone who suffered greatly.

I just feel like the narrative really props Evan up as "one of the good ones" who's just lost his way. I feel like it uncritically frames Connor as a lost cause, scumbag who's family (especially his sister) are right to feel the way they do about him. Its almost framed as like, a fool's errand that Evan wants to clean up Connor's image, post death, and the narrative confirms this by never really giving the real Connor any humanizing moments. He doesn't have the right kind of mental illness to be sympathetic to an audience.

At the core of Evan's wrongdoing is deceiving Connor's family and the public for personal gain. It's the feelings of Connor's family (who hated him) that are the ultimate concern. Connor, himself, hardly even matters. I'm not sure if that's intentional or not, but it still feels...dismissive and malicious towards anyone who has a more stigmatized form, or outward expression, of mental illness. It feels like saying: "here are the traits of mental illness that you're allowed to have and can heal from," whatever Evan has going on, "but these ones (violence, anger, substance abuse) make you a lost cause and justify your family and peers hating you."

There's so much there with Conner as a character. So much wasted potential. Idk, I just always imagine the narrative from his side whenever I re-listen to the soundtrack. Cause I'm not an Evan, in terms of how mental illness has affected my life and relationships. I'm a Connor.

[angryborzois]

Attempt at drawing my jjk oc akira whos supposed to be sugurus sister but i fucking cant draw her right

(YK WHAT JUST PRETEND SHE LOOKS LIKE SUGURU OK)

apparently the glasses change the impression a lot

Also her without glasses and black hair just for fun

i wanted suguru and akira to look really similar in terms of eye shape; like that resemblance u can see between shinichiro and mikey from TR

i still have to think of a casual outfit, combat outfit, uniform that she wont even wear, and alternative looks because ik she def changes her hairstyle/hair color a lot, etc etc

other notes,,, shes def tall (i meann it would be funny if i made her short in contrast to her brother but that would be sad so no); shes prob like 175 cm or smthin

she's definitely logical and smart like her brother but ik for fact she has a reckless "idc about the consequences" side like when she gets heated during an argument or fight or smthing; she wont hesitate to throw hands in that scenario

shes a super good fighter but mainly because shes used to throwing hands in the streets

def got a shock when she naively challenged yuji to a fight to prove an argument but lost instantly

i think maki respects her (either that or they're rivals for some reason) and i feel like toge likes her for some reason?? idk, akira just randomly gives off "toges crush" vibes 😭

akira goes by a different last name like maybe her mothers maiden name,,, i imagine like some common name like murakami or something

i feel like akira is good with tools and making things or maybe even mechanical stuff (maybe thats just me being too influenced by tokyorev idk)

i imagine she is very well-liked by animals

oh and her cursed technique might have something to do with taking other peoples cursed energy temporarily or something; im not sure yet

while i dont think shes short tempered she can be very impatient at times

she wants people to see her for who she is and not her brother

she likes to aimlessly go places; sometimes she'll just get on a train and let it take her somewhere far

occasionally she'll spend the night in that random city and sleep in a park or something

once she took toge with her and toge secretly thought of it as a date 💀

i think if toge ever confesses then he would mercilessly get rejected 😔 but with good reasons tho, like reputations and all (i ship these two for no reason ☠️)

i might redraw her idk 😭she doesnt look very similar to suguru in my opinion

bye i feel myself getting pulled back into that jjk phase

[like-wuatafauq]

Trueee trusting people can be super hard especially when you've been hurt multiple times before. It's okay to be cautious and take your time letting people in. The ones who are meant to be in your life will understand and be patient with you :)

Also omg your native language is Spanish? That's so cool!!! I find that language to be really romantic

And don't worry too much about the English stuff. Being fluent doesn't mean you have to know every single word perfectly. Mixing up phrases happens to everyone, native speaker or not. Do you have a preference between the two or do you feel equally comfortable in both?

One time I was chatting with this British person and I was completely lost 'cuz they were talking so fast and their accent was so thick I could barely understand a word 😵‍💫

I straight up just left from the call without saying anything... HAHAHA

Thank gosh it was a group thing so they probs didn't even notice I was gone 😭

Oh and my pride month plans they're basically just to make more queer friends online and maybe chat more with my irl queer friends too. Tbh there's not a whole lot going on around here. I've never actually been to one of those big pride parades. Have you?

Also what's your pride month plan? ^_^

From ♡

Awe thank you :,) and I've been told I sound kinder in spanish or that I seem like a different person but I don't do it on purpose🥲 so idk what they mean but also even though I think it be romantic too, I've never used it on someone. As in I've never been with someone who I've spoken sweetly to in spanish not even my ex I was with almost 4 yrs, plus i didn't want to lol, i dont think i had that much chemistry with her to bring that out of me. Plus she wouldn't even let me play mexican music, honestly I never used my spanish around her unless I was translating, it genuinely made me sad cuz if I translated or spoke more in spanish to my family then my accent would stick she would say "why do you sound like that now, you didnt sound like that" and id say i cant help it if im switching my brain back and forth so I kinda just stfu now lol or I try to focus when I switch back

But yeah i prefer spanish and I think I'm slightly better at writing,speaking and word knowledge in spanish plus when I feel things strongly i genuinely have a hard time saying it in english so if i dont end up saying it in spanish i just get quiet. or if I get high or drunk I might completely forget I'm supposed to speak English I've done it to my bestie lmao 💀

Also lmaoooo you being like nvm and then leaving is funny af I should do that more often instead of pretending ik what the fuck they say.

Those sound like good pride month plans!! I need to see if there is events near me I know in the city there is but it's like 2 hrs away and about 3 to get to the major one where I think they have pride parade there too. Yes I've been but only once. I might just focus on at home things this month tho I'm currently out of the country 😅

[elysianslove]

cheering you up ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; different ways the haikyuu boys care for you and cheer you up when you’re sad

pairings; karasuno x reader, nekoma x reader, aoba johsai x reader, fukurodani x reader, shiratorizawa x reader, inarizaki x reader

genre; fluff

warnings; none probably a bunch of mistakes lmfao

note; i had to repost this like 3 times rip. anyways, im sorry for not adding inarizaki on my last one jbshds but they’re here now!!

karasuno ━━

sugawara koshi; i definitely think he's so in tune with you, and your emotions. he learns your cues very well, and knows every little thing about you that there is to learn. if you're having a bad day, he'll notice right away. he won't comment on it though. all he'll do is these little things to try to cheer you up, but it's going to be very subtle. he'll let u rest ur head on his shoulder, run his fingers through ur hair. he'll sneakily buy u ur favorite snack. doesn't bring anything up until you do. ends the day with cuddles and a chick flick.

sawamura daichi; he notices but he doesn't really know how to react. not because he doesn't know what to do, but because he doesn't want to trigger you or deepen your sadness in any way. he's very careful with you. if it's something throughout the day, he's very quiet and tender with you, just silently lets you rest your head against his chest and rubs your back/arm tenderly. as you're walking home he asks if you want to talk about it, and reminds you that it's good to, but it's also okay if you don't want to.

nishinoya yuu; not a single sad moment with mr noya here. seriously you cannot breathe. ok but in all honesty, when you're sad. he's sad. sends you memes, and you'll be laughing at them with tears streaming down your face because you don't really know what you're feeling anymore. he does a lot of tiktok trends with you, any of the couple ones. grabs your faces and ,,, smooch all over. until you have no choice but to laugh. if you want to cry even more, he'll watch the notebook and the vow a thousand times over, and be a sobbing mess next to you. just don't tell the guys okay? <3

kageyama tobio; he's so.   bad. at this please help him. like he can tell ur sad, bc he's v good at reading people. but like. what the fuck is he supposed to do. anyways. when u two get to be alone and he kinda notices how quiet you are, he just nudges you slightly, and pulls you to him. it's easier to talk to you, he's calmer, when he can't directly look at you. when he feels you start to shake in his arms, feels the wet tears down your cheeks as you start to sob in his arms, his heart kinda breaks. all he can do is hold you, but it's what you need. and he'll listen too, if that's what you need as well.

tsukishima kei; i think he notices, but doesn't bring it up at all. the way he goes about it is he'll tease you to try and bring a smile on your face. because this is tsukki, and you know him well enough, you know the truth behind his jabs, enough to appreciate them. if it doesn't work, he'll just start to make fun of people in front of you, pointing random people out with you and just being like "wanna bet on what's making their relationship fall apart" this sadist i stg. like suga, he subtly makes you feel better until you yourself approach him about whatever's upsetting. actually gives 10/10 advice bc he's v honest.

asahi azumane; he's so empathetic oh my god bruh. notices immediately. "baby what's got u so upset" w a big pout on his face and when u just mumble "nothin" so low he barely catches it and instead throw yourself into his arms, he gives you a big, certified asahi bear hug. doesn't leave your side at all. constantly mutters sweet nothings and encouragements. if you do the bare minimum like make it through class he'll meet you after and be all "im so proud of my pretty baby". cuddles all day. all night. he's not very good at advice but he is the best listener !!! so attentive and you'll feel a huge weight lifted.

tanaka ryunosuke; "aight who do i need to jump" type beat. u love him so much though. that one sentence and sentiment already has you feeling better. immediately hugs you so tight, borderline suffocating you. "wanna ditch school". 100% willing to do so. he doesn't really know whether to approach it with distracting you or facing the obstacle head-on, but he finds a middle ground. eats your feelings out with you. saeko pulls out the embarrassing ryu pictures and suddenly you don't know why you were ever sad.

hinata shoyo; is really oblivious for a bit tbh. when he first meets you at the start of the day and his hyperactive self is greeted by your duller, sadder self, he doesn't think much of it. it's when you don't react to him or interact with him the way you usually would that he starts to notice you being off. he's actually super straightforward about it, and approaches you with some of your favorite snack that he bribed ukai to give him for free and just "wanna tell me whats up, baby?" he's so, so easy to talk to. immediately you're venting. and he listens to intently, gives stupidly good advice. it's like such simple approaches to your problem but?? it works. anyways you love him.

yamaguchi tadashi; will be super worried about what he could do to make it better, and kinda just tries to feed you as much positive energy as he can. once he's comfortable with people, he becomes really chatty, so i see him talking your ear off with the biggest smile on his face that you have no choice but to kind of ? mimic it? he just radiates goodness and sweetness that it shifts your own energy. he on some witchcraft shit on god. anyways when he walks you home or something, he'll just stop for a min and avoid your eyes when he says "ik u dont feel the best, but i dont want you to have to hide that from me, okay?" stan tadashi <3

nekoma ━━

kuroo tetsurō; drops everything. i mean it. i genuinely think kuroo would be such a good boyfriend that he'll sense it and text u as ur getting ready for school and be like "are u sad i feel like ur sad". you dont really wanna worry him and you'll just reassure him ur fine but he's already at your front door in — not his school uniform. insists the two of you take the day off saying "its fine babe im super smart". you two will spend the whole day just simply existing, talking when needed, he listens to you if you vent, and tries to come up with as many options of solutions for you so you don't feel weighed down. he'll make sure you eat even if you don't have an appetite, and will try to make u do something productive bc in a lotta cases, it could help you feel a lil better yk :)

kozume kenma; i pretend i do not see it — kozume kenma (2020). jbwjwks im jk. he's like tsukki in the sense that he will never address it, and he doesn't outwardly approach you about it. if it's just an off day for you, and you also happen to not have school, you'll go over to his house, hoping to feel a little bit better when you see him. "can i have a kiss, sunshine" to which he responds "why." you just go "im sad" and he gives u a big smooch. he'll have you lay on his lap while he plays his games, occasionally just sneaking in a peak at you to make sure you're okay. he'll ask if you wanna play to get your mind off things for a while. eventually, when things wind down a bit, he'll just mutter "yk i love you, yeah?" and that lights up your world hehe

haiba lev; as soon as he notices you're sad he just ☹️. he picks out a small flower and as soon as he sees you, he just tucks it by your ear, and smile so brightly and youll just be like "oh my god lev please stop being so cute". he won't really know what to do tbh, but the way he's so lost makes it so heartwarming and it honestly cheers you up all on its own. he just. "would a kiss make it better" and if you nod he'll just start kissing all over your face so softly, until he finally kisses your lips. when he pulls away he asks "again?" with a cute smile and if you nod he'll just kiss you over and over again. very simple way of cheering you up, and very foolproof tbh.

yaku morisuke; i think throughout the day, he might pester you a little bit about telling him what was wrong, but after you keep insisting you're fine, he relents, and decides that maybe giving you your own time and space to open up to him is better. he tries not to act differently in that sense, but he finds himself being a little more soft spoken, and gentler with you. i just had this image flash in my brain of you resting your head on a desk, head turned to the right, and then yaku comes and sits to your right, putting his head on the desk and facing you. and just. "hi :)" your heart melts. he kisses your forehead softly and tells you you're wonderful, in case you've forgotten. if, or when, you do open up to him, he'll be very eager to listen, and ready to fight off whoever upset you.

yamamoto taketora; this man is angry. like properly. "who the FUCK put a frown on my baby's face. speak the fuck up. i won't hurt you. ill just mutilate you." if you tell him that it's no one, and that you're just upset, he'll be so confused but he'll just nod and be like "okay. okay. do you want a hug?" and he'll hug you so tight. he'll admit that he doesn't like seeing you like this, and that he'll do anything to make it better. at first he's very cautious, but then he just lightbulb moment and as soon as you get home he'll be like "karaoke night babyyyyy" and then. no more sad.

aoba johsai ━━

oikawa tōru; very. perceptive. he greets you normally, even if he notices something's off, because he won't want to worsen anything. you meet him right before he has practice after school, and he'll just cup your face, lifting them to brush at your hair, and you just sigh. "my baby's had a long day, yeah?" he'll be very gentle and careful with you, i'm sure. he gives you a kiss, smiling softly into it, and reassuring you that you're much too strong to let a single bad day destroy you like this. he meets you later that night with a lotta ice cream and you two just binge watch any reality show you could find, shit talking the actors together. he himself is terrible at talking about his feelings this dumbass >:( so he understands if you don't want to yk? will encourage u to vent it out though. expect terrible, makes no sense advice

iwaizumi hajime; he kinda like. gets mad? when you continue to be upset and not speak about it? he's not mad at you! he's just. mad. this is iwa okay. anyways. he won't bring it up mostly, only being slightly more affectionate, especially in his hand holding, which is super gentle already as it is. when he invites you over, that's when he actually starts to talk to you about it. he lets you know that there's nothing worse than seeing you like this and not knowing what to do, and that he wants you to be able to talk to him. about anything. even if you think it's stupid. he'll listen, and tell you that it's not stupid if it's making you upset. he cooks for you <33333 then bakes with you <33333 you feel a lot lighter at the end of the night tbh

hanamaki takahiro; (he's so annoying i love him). as soon as he sees you upset he makes it his mission throughout the day to cheer you up in any possible way. spams your phone while you're class with ten thousand wholesome memes. sends you pick up lines. when he meets you in between classes he just yells out "how's my favorite person in the entire world!" and kisses you so wholly in the middle of the school hallway lmfao. while he's walking you home, takes a longer route and purposely, he passes by your favorite store/bakery/ice cream parlor. buys u ur favorite, and pretends to be shocked when you give him a piece. late at night, he'll facetime you, wondering how you're feeling, asking if you needed to talk about it. whether you do or you don't, you two will fall asleep facetiming.

matsukawa issei; the minute he sees you he's like "whats wrong". no hi or anything. he has like this frown on his face, which seems off bc it's rare to see a frown on issei's face, and he just tucks your chin in his palm gently and stares at your pout. "you good, baby?" he can tell you're not, but he wants you to be able to tell him on your own. sticks by your side the entire day, and nobody really mentions it. he talks to you as if it were a normal day, but his voice has a softer edge. he's not distracting you, per se. he's more, talking to fill the space while giving you your own space to think. once you're alone, he'll just drag you to the nearest comfy surface, flop down, and pull you on top of him. if you even try to resist or ask whats going on he'll just "nap and cuddles first." and when u sleep a lil bit of ur sadness away, he'll just let you talk it out as he continues to hold you <333

fukurodani ━━

bokuto kōtarō; just as empathetic as asahi, if not more. he really does feel it all with you. yk sympathy pains that partners get when women get contractions? bokuto is that partner. with bokuto, i feel like he'd never make you feel like you couldn't just straight up text him "im sad" and feel bad about it. if you ever do that, he'll immediately call, not even bothering with a text. if he can't come over, he stays with you until you've cried your heart out and then laughing until you can't breathe. if he can go over, he smothers you with love. repeatedly says "you know i love you, yeah? you know how grateful i am for you?" and in between kisses "im so lucky. so, so lucky."

akaashi keiji; i feel like as soon as akaashi notices you're down, or you're slightly off, he just grabs your hand and squeezes, forcing you to stop spacing out and focus on him for a second. if you're with a lot of people around you, he'll lean close to you and ask if you wanna go home. he'll be so soft and gentle and understanding, making up some excuse on the spot on why the two of you have to leave. if you're alone, he'll grab your hand and kind of tug you towards him, silently asking you to come into his arms, where you yourself know you feel safest. as soon as you're in the comfort of your home together, he'll like run you a bath and slip into it with you, just holding you until the water grows cold and the droplets on your skin are from your own tears. he'll wait it out, just holding you as reassurance, then make sure nothing's stopping you from spilling everything to him.

konoha akinori; when he first notices, he kinda deflates. like. who would wanna see their s/o like that? his smile is gentler when he greets you, and he's so soft with you. he grabs a pen and lifts your palm up, quickly scribbling down in his unique handwriting "i love you :) <3" on your skin, whispering for you not to wash it off until the end of the day. it is weirdly motivating tbh. as soon as the two of you are alone, he says it to you, face to face, an expected look on his face as if to ask "you know that, yeah?". puts on a movie to tune out the rest of the world, and holds you close to him as it drags on. he'll give advice if you're asking for it, but he's a better listener than anything else.

shiratorizawa ━━

ushijima wakatoshi; does not notice. in all honesty, he expects you to approach him whenever you have an issue or if you're upset. he's kinda like ? so confused when you're so down and really unresponsive, until he starts to notice how touchy you are. like you're leaning more into his touch, holding onto his hand like it's your lifeline, stealing his vbc jacket because it smells like him. is very straightforward, and will just ask you if you're okay as he walks/drives you home. kinda just stops in front of your house and presses a kiss to your forehead, then pulling you into a hug. "please don't be upset." he won't tell you that it kills him, but you can sense the unsaid words. he urges you to keep his jacket when he notices how safe it makes you feel. greets you the next morning with a new cactus in a pot hehe.

semi eita; is very cuddly once he notices. you'll sit at a table in school and he'll be sitting next to you, but he just pulls you into him and lets you rest your head on his chest, mumbling softly into your hair "i know you're sad and it's okay." he doesn't say anything else, just holds you there with a few kisses in between until he has to let go. late at night, if your thoughts are still keeping you up, he'll be up too, worrying, and will text you at 3 am if u wanna sneak out to meet him. takes you to the park and lays on the grass with you, picking out stars and constellations in the sky, with a soft soundtrack playing from his phone next to the two of you. he makes you feel secure enough to be sad even if you have all the blessings in the world, and makes sure you know that he'll always be there for you, even at 3 in the morning.

satori tendō; cheers you up by making you forget literally everything. replaces the sadness in your brain with just pure serotonin in any way he can think of. he'll take you to an amusement park, get ice cream with you, take you to the carnival in town, to the park, to the beach, to the pool, take you up to his house's rooftop. literally anything. and then he'll say something like "life's too short to spend it being sad over anything, darling." he's so understanding, and if you're frustrated or something he'll tell you to let it out by like wrestling him or some shit. exhausts you so much and you're filled to the brim with dopamine. he makes sure you're always happy, never seeing a dull moment in your relationship with him.

goshiki tsutomu; freaks out. plain and simple lmfao. but once he like grounds himself, he just softly comes up to you and asks you if you wanna talk about it, or if there's anything he can do. if yes, he'll break his leg running to go do it. if no, he'll just sit with you in silence, leaning over to hold your hand, talking to you about volleyball and his aspirations and how well he's improving. he's better at distracting you than helping you face your issues, mainly because he stresses out about giving the wrong advice or somehow making you sadder. he'll take a lot of pictures of you together on snapchat random filters to try and cheer you up, then later on in the night he'll send them to you and be like "look how cute we are ugh what a power couple" i love this dorkhabsjsks

shirabu kenjirō; i think he definitely notices, but keeps it to himself. he’d maybe think he’s imagining things and that you’re okay, so he’d go about his day normally. he doesn’t see you after school, and that’s when he puts two and two together and realizes yeah maybe you are sad. so he texts you, and texts you, and texts you, and gets no reply, so he just. comes over. unannounced. uninvited. just straight vibes. he’s already ordered your favorite take out, and already settling in bed with you under the cover with the lights dimmed and some chick flick playing in the background. gives the b e s t advice because he’s so blunt. like he will tell you if you’re overreacting, but you’re still his s/o, so he’d like wince as he says it. that’s all the sympathy you’re getting <3 but his bluntness will shock you into laughing hehe

inarizaki ━━

miya atsumu; usually, with atsumu, you’re always experiencing loud days. your relationship is all fun and flirty and suave and cool. but when he notices you’re sad, he goes quiet. like. eerily so. immediately pulls you aside somewhere private if you’re at a public place like school or something, and with his hands in yours he asks you if you’re okay. yk that thing where ur on the verge of tears and someone asks you if you’re okay and you just burst. yeah <3. his heart absolutely breaks and he just pulls you into a hug, resting your head on his chest and wrapping his arms around your neck. he just holds you there, even if you’re missing class/your friends are worried. he’ll stay with you until your tears have dried up, until you yourself let go.

miya osamu; i don’t see osamu as someone that loves pda. i feel like he’d be a more lowkey kinda guy. but if you’re sad, that gets thrown out the window. he doesn’t really in the moment, and won’t think too much when he pulls you close to his side and just wraps an arm around your waist/shoulder. yeah he’ll get looks but he can feel you trembling and shaking from holding back tears so yk, priorities. he’ll definitely stress eat with you. takes you literally anywhere and feeds you as you rant to him with tears streaming down your face and he’s just nodding sympathetically as he stuffs your mouth one bite after the other. romance is beautiful

suna rinatarō; when he notices you’re sad, his first response is alright what the fuck who messed up. he immediately blames someone else, and if he’s right, he’ll only get really agitated. just giving everyone the side eye from where you can’t see as he walks the two of you, your hand in his tight. if it’s not someone specific, he’ll just hum thoughtfully and then nod, before pulling you away somewhere private and just sitting you down and saying “talk.” very, very good listener. i can’t stress this enough. as you’re speaking he’s already thinking of a million different ways to help you solve your problem. walks with you as he traces your hands and just quietly tells you all the solutions.

aran ojiro; oh my god as a boyfriend he ticks all the boxes. he’s great at communicating, always satisfies your needs, is trustworthy and trusts you. the list goes on. immediately knows when you’re off/sad, and just smiles softly as he takes your hand, kissing your knuckles and saying, “let’s go home, yeah?” at home, he makes you some calming tea, probably pulls out some cookies or brownies or biscuits (that HE made but we’re not gonna get into that) and just listens as you talk, whether it’s about why you’re sad or just in general. gives you honest advice, but also a lil biased bc he loves you hehe <3

[colorseeingchick]

Period Pains (Iwa, Suna, Bokuto)

Periods still stuck. Nothing has changed since part one. But these boys continue to comfort me when I feel like my heart, head, and stomach are going to explode :D. I hope they comfort you too!

A/N: It’s been rough homies. It really do be your own body that tries to attack you -_-. 

Warnings: EMETOPHOBIA (in Suna’s there’s a semi detailed description of vomiting); swearing; foot massage in Bokuto’s (Ik that makes some people uncomfy); gym bros. 

Iwaizumi Hajime

It was common knowledge that you and Iwaizumi were two halves of one insane power couple. 

No questions asked, you both were generally independent when it came to taking care of your own matters, and you were both were pretty independent. 

But there were exceptions- moments where you would both lean on each other, using the other as an anchor and a crutch to get back up and stay on your feet. 

Your period was one of those times when times you needed your beloved boyfriend to play that role. 

Today was one of those days. 

You and Iwaizumi head over to the gym at around 6 am to get your early morning workout in before you go through with the rest of your day.

You had told Iwaizumi the night before, and he asked if you still wanted to “go gym” the next morning. 

You said yes, hoping that a solid workout would help with some of the cramps. 

And once you had got there, you had your hopes up. 

The first half of your workout was going really well, and you hadn’t thought of your cramps at all. 

But then it hit you while you were walking over to get your water bottle. 

You didn’t know why, but the cramps hit you hard. Instantly you went to the bathroom to try and compose yourself, but that wasn’t really helping either. 

You didn’t wanna bother Iwaizumi mid workout, so you tried to carry on. 

Unfortunately, that didn’t work out too well. 

As you tried to keep going, the cramps in your stomach got worse and worse, until you were pressing your stomach with your hands, curled over yourself on your yoga mat. 

Taking deep breaths, you tried to relieve the only worsening cramps. 

It wasn’t until a warm, firm hand caressed your back did you look up from your curled up form. 

“1 to 10.” Iwaizumi asks you with a soft voice. 

“4.” You say as you curl into yourself once more. 

It was the pain ranking system that you’d both been using since early on in your relationship. You knew exactly what he meant, and you were honestly thankful that he understood you were in pain by just looking at you. 

“Lying to me doesn’t do any good, ya know.” His words are harsh, yet the concern in his voice kills any intimidation that was supposed to come across. 

“7.” 

“Sounds right.” Iwa’s one arm wraps around you, digging into your side, his thumb massaging circles into the spot right above your left hip, while the other hand rubbed softer circles onto your lower belly. 

You felt your muscles untense as his hands worked away at your cramping stomach with deep pressure only he had the strength to apply. 

“What’s wrong with her?'' 

Both of you look up to see some guy (he seemed like a newbie, neither of you had seen him before) talking to your boyfriend. 

“What.” Iwa’s voice is dry, in shock at the fact that this dude was in your business. 

“Did she injure herself working out or something?” He asks, as if you were incapable of speaking for yourself. “Not being careful in the gym can be really dangerous, especially if you’re not trained.” He speaks in your direction this time. 

Iwaizumi Hajime (27) ATHLETIC TRAINER, now looked like he was ready to commit murder. 

Some of the regulars had now turned to watch, most giving the guy dirty looks.

A couple of you and Iwa’s closer gym bros step towards you both, making some preparations for Iwaizumi to swing. 

But before anyone can really say anything, your voice cuts through. 

“That’s real rich coming from you. The only thing that’s gonna cause an injury is your horrendous deadlift form.” 

Your boyfriend goes from a state of shock into a fit of snickers, the guys on the side also amused. The guy in front of you goes completely red. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about you bi-” 

“I actually think she’s right. I was a bit worried, too.” One of Iwa’s (very buff) friends stepped forward, smiling at you two before putting a hand a on the newbie’s shoulder. “Let’s go check it out.”

As you sigh out, your boyfriend stares at you with pride and amusement both bright in his eyes. “All that pain and you’re still able to come up with snarky comments.” 

As his hand returns to soothing circular motions, you dig your face into his chest. 

The soft touches from Iwa were enough to ease your pains, and allowed you to embrace your moment of vulnerability with your sweet boyfriend. 

“Let’s dip and get food, okay? And you can just rest at home. You deserve a break.”

“Weren’t you saying something about how the grind doesn’t stop-”

“It stops when your health is on the line. Let’s go.”

Suna Rintarou

When it comes to you being on your period, Suna is by far the most hands off while simultaneously being the most attentive. 

Suna wasn’t necessarily the biggest on PDA. But when it was just you two? He had no problem being all up against you.

The only situation Suna does not know how to navigate is when he can’t read someone’s moods or behaviors. Luckily for him, you were overly clear with his emotions and needs when you were on your period, even if those moods and needs were all over the place. 

Early on, when you got together, he was a bit surprised to see how bad your period could get.

He’d walked in to your room one day to see you in a fetal position, rolling around on the floor.

He’d seen you go a full day of eating only junk food, upset and trying to satiate all your cravings. 

He’d also seen you go without sleep because of how bad your cramps were.

Essentially, he’d learned you’d go through really bad health habits, and he’d assigned himself the roll of trying to make sure you maintained some regularity while on your period. 

He was ready for anything, so ready that he made it look effortless. 

When Suna came back from practice one day, he couldn't find you anywhere in your shared home. Which isn’t a problem, but he doesn’t recall you saying you were going anywhere....

It’s not till he lazily stalks over to the hallway and hears a horrible retching sound that he realizes you are still home. 

Swinging the door open, he finds you perched over the toilet, vomiting in what looks to be a super painful manner. 

“Rin...ta...r-oh fuck” you can barely get his name out before you start throwing up again. 

Your boyfriend takes a step into the bathroom, but you toss an intense ‘no’ his way with your hand. 

“It smells disgusting… and… I don’t want to be smothered right now…” you sigh as you breathe between your bouts of vomiting. 

He takes a deep breath, recomposing himself. He knows your period can get pretty bad, but he hasn’t seen it get this bad in a while. He obliges, but he doesn’t move from the doorway. 

As you start your next fit, Suna’s face remains blank, but his heart twists. 

He slowly approaches you, kneeling beside you. 

“I said to not.. To smother me....” your protest is weakened by your body inhibiting your ability to speak. 

Suna keeps a bit of space between you two, but he gently grabs your hair, pulling strand by strand, until its completely out of your face 

(alternatively, if you have short hair), Suna keeps a bit of space between you two, but he lets his hand gently rest on your back, rubbing in soothing circles . 

Your hand goes up to push him away, but he grabs your fist with his larger hand, weaving his fingers with yours, rubbing his thumb into the back of your hand. 

“I won’t smother, don’t worry. But I’m gonna be here.” He’s soft in his tone, unfazed despite the relative unpleasantness of the situation. 

As you finally stop, you fall back, your hands covering your eyes. 

As you lean back, your body giving out, your head finds its way onto the plush chest of your green eyed boyfriend. He doesn’t touch you, but just acts as a makeshift couch for you to lean on. 

“Rintarou.” “

Yeah?” 

“I need your touch.” 

Your words are blunt but effortlessly received as your boyfriend instinctively wraps his arms around you, languidly stroking your thigh with one hand and holding your stomach with the other. He adjusts you so that you’re pressed up against him. 

“Better, babe?” he asks as he backs up into the wall, loosening up as you relax against him. 

“Mmm.” You croon, sinking down against him. “I should  brush my teeth, I’m sorry you came back to this.”

“It’s fine. Get cleaned up. Wanna watch movies? I got Chinese takeout.” 

“I don’t want Chinese,” you comment.

 “What do you want?” 

“Pizza.” 

“...”

 “...”

 He sighs. “I’ll be back in 20.”

 “I love you.” you smile at him as you tell him what he already knows. 

He presses his nose into your hair, letting your conditioner’s scent fill his nose. “Mmm… and I love you.” 

“How much?” You ask.

“How much do I what?” 

“How much do you love me?” 

“Enough to get you pizza at 10 pm in the pouring rain.” 

“It’s raining??”

“Yeah.”

“...Nevermind I don’t want pizza anymore.”

“Well I want pizza now so I’m going.” He pulls himself up and out of the bathroom despite the way you tried to cling to his leg to keep him from leaving. 

“Rin!”

Bokuto Koutarou

Bokuto is honestly the ideal boyfriend, especially when you are on your period. 

Early in your relationship, when you got on your period, you didn’t tell Bo. But he ended up learning the hard way. 

He’d come back from practice a bit later than usual and didn’t text you. Usually he didn’t, especially if he knew he’d only be a little late. But when he walked through the doors, instead of finding his usually happy, bubbly girlfriend who usually showered him with love, he was greeted with you crying. 

“W-why didn’t-t you text me, Kou? Do you-u not care about me?” 

He had nooo idea what was going on, and he was very panicked and sad. 

He felt like the rug was pulled out from under him when you proceeded to snuggle into his chest 2 minutes later, cries completely stopped. His little owl eyes were wide open and very confused. 

2 days later, he asked about the situation again, scared to bring it up.

But you were really embarrassed as you explained how you were on your period and could get extreme mood swings. You apologized and promised that you’d never do something wild like that again.

But Bo wasn’t content with your answer. 

He went and asked Akaashi if he knew anything about what periods were like (he was shy to ask you). 

Akaashi found the lovely statistic of “period pain being of equal pain levels of a heart attack” and Bokuto lost his shit. “

I’ve never had a heart attack, but they kill people! And they go for the hospital for those! And she apologized for being a little emotional… that doesn’t seem right, right Kaashi?”

Akaashi agrees, of course. And sends Bokuto off with the advice of “she’s always there for you. All you have to do is be there for her.” 

When the next time you had your period rolled around, and you found yourself a little emotional, you did your best to control it. But Bokuto was having none of it. 

“Baby, you don’t have to hide it! You can be emotional!! I don’t mind. You always help me when I’m emotional! I can do the same for you. I’ll take the best care of you, I promise!” 

You would honestly call it a turning point in your relationship, cause this was when you learned to start really depending on Bo. And you realized just how dependable he could really be. 

When Bokuto comes back from practice today, he finds you splayed out on the couch, koala-hugging a pillow, whimpering a “welcome home” between grunts of pain. 

Bokuto stays quiet as he walks up to the couch, dipping down to place a kiss on your cheek before stripping his sweaty t-shirt off as he walks off to take a shower. 

Once he comes out, fresh and clean, he throws on a comfortable t-shirt and shorts before coming back to find you on the couch. 

He grabs your legs, pulls them up, sits down, and then places them in his lap. “Baby, do you want a massage? I can press your legs.” 

“You don’t have to, Kou, it’s okay.” 

“I want to!” He cheers back as he starts to knead at your calves, moving down to your feet and slowly pressing over your socks. 

You sigh and huff, slowly relaxing as the soothing feeling of the pressure applied to your feet counteracts the pain you felt in your lower abdomen. 

While Bokuto concentrates intensely on massaging your calves again, he perks up at the sound of a sniffle.

 Swinging his head, he sees you slowly dissolving into sobs. 

Panicked, he slides your legs onto the couch and comes by your face. 

“Baby, did I press too hard? Did I hurt you? Please tell me.”

“No, no, Kou, you’re fine. I’m just- I’m so lucky and blessed to have such a loving amazing boyfriend~” you get the words out as tears stream down your face, turning to look him in his big, gorgeous, gold eyes. “I don’t deserve you, my love.”

Now, for reasons unknown, Bokuto finds himself crying as well. 

“Why are you crying!” You cry and laugh out at the same time. 

“Because I have such a sweet girlfriend who always showers me in love! Don’t say I don’t deserve you. You’re perfect for me.” 

Cheesy as the exchange was, it was really soft for you. Because you knew Bokuto, and you knew he meant every word exactly as is from the bottom of his heart. 

Crying while your laughs got lighter, you pull him in and kiss him all over his face. 

He laughs too, and holds your face as he pulls away, swiping the tears from under your eyes. “Your turn!!” 

After smothering you with kisses, he picks you up and carries you to your shared bedroom, so he can love on you more, with enough space for both of you to lay next each other and peacefully drift off to sleep. 

A/N: Gym guys who don’t mind their business seriously bother me. I hope you all enjoyed! Requests and commentary are greatly appreciated :D 

[wickedpact]

A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

[mac-darf]

I'm wondering, ik Wanda has a crazy amount of fans that view her as perfect and without flaw but is she a villain/anti-hero within the MCU?

Like. Okay. When we first meet her she's working with Nazis, to try and kill superheroes. That's bad. Especially since these heroes had literally just saved the world two years earlier. You can bring up her parents being killed, and yes while that is insanely tragic and anyone else might do the same in a quest to kill Tony Stark, he did become a super hero? Tony has sins and him being Iron Man doesn't automatically make up for it, but he's trying. It's not like he killed Wanda's parents, laughed evilly and then killed an orphan. He wasn't aware of how his weapons were actually used to, ya know, kill people bc he's rich and he's never seen conflict. As soon as he does he shuts that shit down and saved the world. We as an audience should be on his side, therefore, Wanda is a villain in Age of Ultron.

But near the end of the movie she realized Ultron plans to kill all humans and she turns against him. Does this make her good, or does his just mean she has basic self-preservation? I'm going with self-preseevation. However at the end when she becomes an Avenger she clearly has made a jump to hero, so yeah. She's good then. Despite working with Nazis, Hawkeye thinks she's cool so she joins the band of heroes.

Then in Civil War she throws a bomb into a building and kills several Wakadan officials. Many have and will continue to argue that their is no where else she could've thrown the bomb. If you truly believe this you are insane. Her actions are the final straw with freelance superheroes. However, while this was completely stupid of her, it was a mistake and she was doing it as a hero. She takes her punishment for being stupid and killing a buildings worth of people well, until she decides to beat up her boyfriend and that she doesn't deserve to be punished. The movie treats this like a hero moment, but if this happened irl she would be a terrorist who escaped prison. Not good. Anti-hero at best.

Then in infinity war she just wants to protect her boyfriend, despite her kicking the shit outta him in the last movie because he was worried she'd stupidly bomb another building. Her wanting to protect him is just what a normal person would do. Her willingly killing him to save the universe is heroic af. She's a real hero in this movie.

She's barely in endgame so I'm just gonna say she's acts like a normal person in it. Because she does.

Then in Wandavision she commits the greatest act of domestic terrorism the world will ever see, because she was sad. She tortures an entire town and locks children in their rooms for several months just because she really missed her boyfriend you guys! This is true villain shit. Plus she steals dark magic book. Dark magic isn't a good thing.

(Now were getting into NWH post credits)

Wait nvm the whole Wandavision thing didn't matter because Doctor Strange asks for her help?? Maybe it's taken out of context and Strange will care more about in rhe movie but based off this teaser it seems like no one cares about what Wanda does, regardless of how selfish and evil it is. Wtf.

I think she might be an anti-villain? Since she isn't a villain according to the heroes but does some seriously intensely fucked up shit even after she rejects the Nazis, which was supposed to be her turning point from hero to villain. But in the universe no one seems to care about what evil acts she does so. Anti-villain. Ig. Idk. I can't wait for the herd of Wanda's fans to misunderstand this post and think I'm attacking this literal Nazi terrorist when I'm just trying to understand how the writers want us to view her.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #791: Wrath of the Certified Moms (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

4:23 p.m. at Smash Mansion's Dining Hall......

It was quiet and Intense afternoon at the Mansion of Smash as everyone hides away and watch an unfazed Kazuya have himself a conversation with the Certified Moms Squads, who are not very happy with him at the point.

Peach: Mr. Kazuya. (Crosses Her Arms in a Not Pleased Yet Professional Like Manner) I take it that you are wondering why we wanted to talk to you at this very moment, yes?

Kazuya: No. I don't actually. But since we're here.....(Slams Two of his Feet On the Table One By One) Let's talk.

Samus: What the hell are you doing?

Kazuya: (Raised an Eyebrow at the Bounty Hunter Glaring at Him) Pardon?

Daisy: (Glares at Kazuya as Well) You heard the lady, buster. Why the hell do you have your crumby feet on the table!?

Kazuya: What? Am I not supposed to do that here or something?

Rosalina: (Simply Nodded) That is right. It's very rude and thoughtless.

Isabella: Not to mention unsanitary.

Tifa: This might be our first time meeting one another.....(Glares at Kazuya Harsh) But I know for a fact that you weren't raised on a damn farm.

Samus: Exactly. So if you know what's good for you going forward....(Starts Gritting her Teeth) We suggest you take your feet off the fucking table. Right now.

Kazuya: (Starts at the Glaring for a Brief Second Before Scoffing a Bit in Defeat as He Reluctantly Did What He Was Told) There. Happy?

Samus: (Glare Pierce Harder at the Man) Very.

Peach: ('Sigh') Now with that out of the way, Mr. Kazuya, after you fought Ganondorf and threw him off a cliff, is it true that you tried to do the same to Pit and Kirby afterwards?

Kazuya: What? You mean the Angel Boy and Pink Puffball? ('Heh') Yeah. I did. What of it?

Palutena: (Immediately Gets Up and Angrily Slams her Hands on the Table) ('SLAM') WHAT OF IT!? YOU ALMOST KILLED MY BABY, YOU MURDEROUS PIECE OF-

Bayonetta: (Immediately Got Up and Place Her Hands on Palutena's Shoulders to Calm her Down) Paulie dear, please. Calm yourself.

Tifa: (Gently Place her Hand on Top of Palutena's) Bayo's right. Don't let him get to you like this.

Palutena: How can you all expect me to be calm in a time like that!? (Tears Starts Falling Down on her Face) Have you forgotten what that bastard done to Pit!?

Peach: (Turns Around to Palutena with a Worried yet Understanding Frown on her Face) We understand how you feel completely, dear. Which is all the more reasons why you should let me do all the talking. You do trust us, right?

Palutena: Of course I do. ('Sniff') You girls are my family...('Sniff') I just....I just can't help not being upset, you know?

Bayonetta: (Gently Pulls Palutena into a Loving Hug) I know, my sweet, beautiful goddess. I know. But we all need to pull ourselves together and get Peach handle this. For our babies sake.

Palutena begins to looks up and see Pit, Kirby, and the Phantom Thieves hiding behind the living room's wall, witnessing everything going down in the dining hall.

Palutena: (Sighs While Finally Calming Herself Down) Right. I do need to pull myself together. (Turns to Pit While Quietly Saying 'I Love You' to Him With a Sad Smile Before Sitting Back Down)

Pit: (Smiles Softly) I love you too, mom

Kazuya: (Suddenly Starts to Chuckle Evilly For Almost Everyone in the Mansion to Hear)

Peach: (Raised an Eye Brow at Kazuya in a Very Unamused Manner) Something's funny to you, Kazuya?

Kazuya: Yes, actually. Here I thought participating in this kind of tournament would be somewhat interesting. I'd never imagined how pathetically soft amd weak minded all of you really are. But I suppose be too shouldn't be surprised by the outcome, since you have an embarrassment of a tyrant king and an annoying puffball as one of your competitors.

Ganondorf: (Growling Angry at Kazuya from the Distance With the Other League of Villains Members)

Kazuya: And worthless angel boy of yours was easily the weakest of them all that it's laughable at best.

Pit starts to frown sadly by Kazuya's words until Ren place a hand onto his shoulder while giving him a reassuring look that feels him to not to believe a single word he says. This, in it if itself, actually helps calm the angel down immensely.

Kazuya: Hell, he's better off being dead if any-

'CRASH'

Without a second thought, Peach angrily punched down the table I front of her, the ladies, and Kazuya so hard that it crumbles to the ground, easily breaking it into small, tiny pieces, much everyone's surprise and shock.

Bowser: Holy........

Samus: ........Shit........

Ryuji: (From the Living Room) EXCLAMATION MARK!!!!

Kazuya: (Starts Smirking at the Angered Princess While Being Unfazed by the Sudden Event) What's this now? Did I do finally struck a nerve, your highness?

Peach: (Immediately Grabs Kazuya By the Collar While Giving the Most Darkest, Piercing Glare Imaginable, Even For Her) Listen here, you insufferable, arrogant creep! I don't what made you the way you are right now, and frankly, I don't give a single damn about it at this point! All you need to know that if you're planning on continuing to set foot in this mansion, you don't EVER insult my babies and harm my family ever again! YOU HEAR ME!?

Daisy: (Immediately Got Up to Calm Peach Down) Woah there, cuz. Take it easy for us, okay?

Samus: (Got Up and Calm Peach Down as Well) Daisy's right, Peach. He's not worth the trouble at this point......

Peach looks back and forth the girls and Kazuya for a few seconds before finally calming herself down.

Peach: ('Sighs in Defeat') Okay......(Finally Let's Go of Kazuya) I suppose I should apologize for what happened just now. It wasn't lady like of me.

Daisy: (Chuckles Lightly) Are you kidding me? That was most badass thing I've ever seen yet! (Happily Hugs Peach) And it was all caused by my favorite cuz~

Peach: (Giggles Softly) I'm your only cousin, Daisy.

Samus: Yeah I'm gonna have to agree with Daisy this on. (Smirks a bit Playfully at Peach) I did not expect you to be this hardcore. I'm proud. Though, I think we might need to replace that table in a little bit.

Peach: (Giggles Softly Some More) I know. Thanks, you guys.

Kazuya: (Watches the Trio While Fixing his Collar and Shirt) ('Tch') Knew I should've ignored them if I had the chance.......

Peach: Kazuya Mishima!

Kazuya: (Turns Back to Peach) Yeah? What?

Peach: (Crosses her Arms While Glaring Darkly at Kazuya Again) Remember this well: If I EVER hear you pulled this stunt again, I will NOT hesitate to kick you out of this mansion and ban you from ever taking part of this tournament! Do you understand me!?

Kazuya was able to say something to the princess until his eyes suddenly begins to widened, as he comes to the realization that Peach's glare is starting to remind him of a woman from past. Who happens to be his deceased mother, Kazumi Mishima. It wasn't too long until he suddenly begins to get down on his knees and bow himself down to the princess in a traditional like manner, much everyone complete surprise.

Kazuya: I apologise for my foolish actions. It will never happen again.....

Peach: (Couldn't Believe What She's Seeing in Front of Her) Oh my.......I-I Mean! (Starts Clearing Her Throat Before Turning Away From the Fallen Man) As long as you got message, we'll hold you to it. Let's go, ladies. (Begins to Walks Away with Other Ladies Following Her)

Palutena gives one last harsh glare at Kazuya before walking away with the others. Leaving him to his lonesome self altogether. (While Still Being in a Bowing like Position).

Meanwhile.....

Bowser: (Eyes Widened After Witnessing Everything That Went Down Just Now) Well.........That happened?

Hades: (Starts Snicking) I know, right? Who would've thought the Devil Boy got whipped so easily?

Sephiroth: (Carrying Pichu in his Arms) I'm more surprise on how strong the princess has gotten. Mario's a lucky man.

Bowser: ('Tch') (Crosses his Arms While Looking Away) Yeah. Lucky jackass, bastard.....

Ganondorf: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ridley: (Turns to Ganondorf) What gotten you in a good mood?

Ganondorf: Seeing this warm grovelling on the floor! (Crosses his Arms While Smirking Evilly and Triumphantly) Knew he wasn't shit from the beginning.

Ridley: But didn't he still beat you and threw you off a cliff?

Ganondorf: (Slowly Turns to Ridley with a Deadpinned Glare) Do you want me throw you off a cliff instead, Ridley?

Ridley: ('Sigh') No.......

Bowser: (Looking at Kazuya Shaking Slightly in the Ground From a Distance) Uhh....Guys? I think the new guy's crying over here. Saying about missing his mom or whatever.....

Hades: Ah yeah. Forgot to mention this sooner, but his mom died when he was little. Just found that one out when I was reading his inner thoughts earlier. So.....oops.

Sephiroth: The loss of a loving mother is never an easy feeling. He has my pity.

Pichu: (Nodded in Agreement) Pika. Pi.

Ganondorf: ('Scoffs') He can cry about her all he wants. (Starts Walking Away) He'll no sympathy from me.

Elsewhere in the Fitness Gym.......

Ike: (Paused his Training Session For a Moment) Hm?......... (Shrugs Before Resuming his Workout)

@keyenuta

@princekirijo

@caleb13frede

@cyber-wildcat

@26shann

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

[hopeshoodie]

ik you have shane as your perfect islander for lottie so you seemed like the right person to ask about what you think a perfect islander for hannah would be like

Ok hear me out- someone like Genevieve or (to a lesser extent) Priya.

I LOVE the arc I’ve decided is canon of Hannah realizing she is a lesbian throughout the show. It just makes too much sense and I feel like every sapphic girl had a best friend where the relationship was super intense and toxic (but not because we’re gay, no not because we’re gay) and that’s the vibes with Hannah and Lottie. So as much as I ship Lottie and Hannah, they both need to do a lot of growth before they can be healthy and stable together. Ultimately, while it’s one of the best ships in the game, Lottie’s love isn’t the perfect match for Hannah.

 In the canon season I do love the idea of Priya and Hannah- Priya’s much more grounded but still has the high femme glamour that Hannah is into. If Priya was openly bisexual and comfortable with that (which she SHOULD be because she SHOULD have been an LI for MC), I would love the arc of Hannah realizing she’s gay through Lottie and then realizing that her ‘romantic, sensible, and fairytale’ partner can be Priya. Then we could play around with her un-learning compulsory heterosexuality and realizing that everything she was romanticizing about love with a man is possible with women. I hesitate on this because in the game, Priya’s one of the more immature characters (obv. less so than Lottie but definitely more so than Hope or Chelsea) and she can’t really play the grounded voice of reason alongside all of her Lottie/Noah/Felix stuff.

 So I would bring in a character more like Genevieve. Someone who’s really confident, stable, self-sufficient, comfortable in who they are. She’s my favorite character in Season 3 because while she’s really smart and chill, she doesn’t make it her mission to police everyone else or fix other people’s drama (even though there is none in S3). She sits back with her partner (which is a whole other tangent- I love how they’re obviously into each other but don’t make a big show of it in the way that Nope or any other couple in the game did), does her own face paint, is kind to everyone but really only involved with her friends. If s3 had been written better, she would’ve been the competent and kind dark skinned black woman who’s NOT made into the mom friend for once in media.

 But of course the character of Genevieve doesn’t work 100% for Hannah because I get super straight vibes from her (not super-straight, fuck them, but like extra straight, like she is very straight but in a way that includes trans men because they are men). And also? A big part of Viv’s story is that she gets Seb in the end, and they’re a really functional healthy couple who support each other. She wouldn’t get that same support from someone going Thru It like Hannah is.

 So Hannah’s ideal partner is a mix between Priya and Genevieve, and seeing how underutilized Priya is I think we can just repurpose her (but take out a lot of the immaturity and add in Viv’s ambivalence). I’ll leave her name Priya because I’m very much picturing her as Priya.

 Priya comes in on day 1 like normal, late, but (instead of Hannah) Marisol goes home. Maybe there’s some kind of debacle where Gary tries to kiss Marisol and she calls him out, idk we need a reason for Gary to want to pick Hannah over Marisol. Lottie still attacks Priya and Hannah quietly takes Lottie’s side while feeling bad about it the whole time. Lottie and Hannah fall out, Hannah goes to Priya for support, I think I laid out this narrative in another post? Not sure, I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming about it a lot and maybe this is the first time I’m typing it out. At some point (ik Priya misses the truth or dare and with Marisol gone there’s not a character who compulsively needs to talk about their sexuality) it comes out that Priya’s bi, and she doesn’t shy away from or qualify that at all. She’s bi, she’s dated women, and she’s not uncomfortable with doing it again unlike SOME people.

 But Hannah goes to Priya for support on like day 6. Priya recognizes the sexual tension between Lottie and Hannah, but doesn’t point it out because Hannah’s not ready to accept that. Instead she just gives Hannah generic good advice. Roccogate happens to Hannah instead of Lottie, Operation Nope still happens and everyone hates Priya for it (but she handles it far more maturely than she did and comes out of it apologetic but not regretful).  Also because Marisol has to leave to keep Hannah, and we still need a prickly slow-burn lady LI, I’m thinking Lottie fills in that route (or Elisa comes in earlier with Lurik and does Marisol’s whole ‘omg dating a girl, such a big step!’ schtick).

 In CA, instead of Hope and Priya being dejected that they aren’t super into any of the new boys, it’s Hannah. Priya comes to comfort her, and she has a meltdown that ‘there’s so many awesome guys here why can’t I just like one of them’ and is also really salty that Kassam and Lottie are getting on so well. Priya gently tells her ‘maybe the reason you can’t force yourself to like the guys here is because you just don’t like men’. Hannah sputters a bit and Priya points out that she clearly has a crush on Lottie, which Hannah denies. Priya throws up her hands and says “well if you need to talk, I’m here,” to which Hannah initiates a kiss. They make out a bit, then Priya pulls away and says “that was lovely, but I’m not keen on being an experiment. I like you, but you need to know what you want.” And leaves. And Hannah shooketh because ‘oh, THAT’s what kissing is supposed to feel like’, because girlie same. It took me years of kissing men to realize you’re supposed to ~enjoy~ kissing.

 So then my ideal Priya route happens with Priya and MC, but at the recoupling after CA if MC doesn’t save Priya, Hannah does. Priya kind of says “thank you for saving me, you can keep going after to Gary,” and Hannah’s like “No. I want you.” They have a couple of conversations in private, where Priya is like ‘you can’t keep pining over Lottie if we’re going to be together together’ and ‘you gotta stop being sad that I’m not taller than you and that our hands are the same size- that’s compulsory heterosexuality and being upset about it is unfair to me’. And just generally Hannah grows a ton in the span of like 2 weeks, and they’re a really supportive healthy couple?

 Maybe if you’re feeling spicy, Hannah still kisses MC or Lottie before she leaves, and then that comes out at the finale party and Priya breaks up with her. I still think Hannah would have to leave LI and grow a lot before being ready to be in a functional relationship, so even if Priya was her perfect person she’d have to wait for her. I just need Hannah’s girlfriend to look over her glasses at her and be like “babes, this novel is trash. You’re writing about what you wanted LI to be, not what it actually was. No one’s going to read this. You need to find something that matters to you and write about it.” And the thing that matters to her is Priya. A real ‘I’m changing my major to Joan’ kind of moment.

[gohyuck]

hello! could I request Jisung with prompt 7 (and the colour blue) for your 4K celebration? 🥳

7: “Oh, girl, I love how you care. I’ll put your love on a pedestal.”

extra: blue

“no, ‘sung, what the fuck?” you crinkle your nose in disgust at your best friend, stepping away from him - and the sticky half-licked blue raspberry lollipop he’s brandishing - on instinct. he just shrugs, sticking the candy back in his mouth as if he hadn’t just offered to let you put it in yours, too.

“it’s my last day as a free man, (name). just wanted to share the joy,” jisung responds easily, one corner of his mouth upturning before he turns back to tv screen in front of you. “besides,” he continues, leaning forward and swiping a controller off of the coffee table he’s currently using as a footrest. “you aren’t usually this easily grossed out. are you just pissed because i keep kicking your ass in smash?”

“if you’d let me main ike even once-” you start grumbling, only to get cut off by jisung snorting at you. “whatever. fuck super smash bros. also, you’re just getting your wisdom teeth out, you big baby. your life isn’t ending.”

“my mom said i’ll have to avoid this,” he explains, pulling his lollipop out of his mouth again. you notice that his tongue has traces of blue, too, and roll your eyes. it’s as if he’s still a little kid sometimes.

you ignore the tiny part of your brain that wants to taste the artificial raspberry from his lips.

“so?” you scoff, sitting back down on the couch beside him. one of his arms rest over the back of the couch, and he flings this arm over your shoulders once you’re close enough.

“so it’ll be a while ‘til i get to enjoy candy, and that sucks. like, it completely blows. absolutely shakes me to my foundation-”

“i miss when you were shy around me. you spend too much time with hyuck now.” you grumble, cutting him off. jisung says nothing, only laughing as he hands you a controller that you begrudgingly take. it’s once you’ve both picked your characters that he speaks again, voice far softer this time as he forms his words around the candy in his mouth.

“hey, (name)?”

“yeah?”

“you’ll still go to my appointment with me, right?”

“and miss video-taping you saying stupid shit? wouldn’t miss it for the world, sungie.”

“aw, i knew you loved me- shit! did you just punt me off? bro, what the fuck-” as you dissolve into giggles while jisung glares at the screen, smashing buttons furiously, you can’t help but let your gaze trail the side of his face. you’d met jisung when you were both 6, when his family had moved into the house next to yours. over the past 12 years, you’ve watched him grow alongside you from a quiet little boy with a penchant for dance into your handsome and gentle - albeit endearingly annoying - best friend.

even if you don’t say it out loud, he knows that you’ll always be by his side.

♕ ♕ ♕

“i want a smoothie.”

jisung leans over the back of your seat to stage-whisper this directly in your ear, letting out a whine of half-sadness, half-annoyance when you flinch and move away on impulse. his mother, who’s in the drivers’ seat right beside you, heaves a sigh before glancing back at her son.

even when - or maybe especially when - he’s positively loopy off of meds and his face is packed with cotton, he can’t seem to stay still. he fidgets with his for a moment before leaning in again, though he speaks at full volume this time. “i just think they’re good. smoothies are... such a concept. food but liquid. they make me so emotional...i’m going to cry over smoothies. (name), do you cry over smoothies?”

“no,” you start, unsure of whether you’re more amused or annoyed. “but i feel like i’m about to.”

“see,” jisung exclaims, turning to his mother. “(name) sees the vision! the vision is seen. you know what isn’t, though? my glasses. i dropped them and i can’t see anymore. can’t see my glasses either.” he giggles at the absurdity of his situation, registering how ironic it is even through the haze of medication. “wait, if i can’t see my glasses, how will i see my smoothie? oh no...”

“are we actually getting smoothies?” you mumble to his mother out of the corner of your mouth.

“don’t see what else i can do.” she says, smiling at you right before she takes an exit off of the highway. there’s a good smoothie place within a few miles, and you’re sure that’s where you’re all headed.

“if i can’t see it, how will i make sure it’s - oh no...” jisung moans again, evidently in great despair over not being able to see his hypothetical smoothie. he seems unaware of the fact that his glasses are on the seat right next to him.

“i’ll make sure that it’s blue raspberry, ‘sung,” you assure him, knowing what jisung means even if he hasn’t finished his thought. “i promise.”

“really?” jisung asks, eyes widening. you turn back to give him a reassuring smile, resisting the urge to giggle at how he’s acting. his face splits into a wide grin, though it’s followed immediately after by him groaning. you wince in sympathy.

“you know, (name),” jisung starts, speaking once he’s no longer in immediate pain. “i love how you care about me. if i- if i could put your love on a pedestal i would, because it’s like a trophy.”

now it’s your turn for your eyes to widen, and as you feel the amused gaze of jisung’s mom on your face, you can’t help but burn out of embarrassment and just the smallest bit of hope.

“i’m glad i have it because i give you all my love too. that, and i like trophies,” jisung continues thoughtfully, voice even more muffled than before. “i like trophies and winning. you should know since you never win at smash. you suck at smash, actually-”

“we’re here, jisung!” your best friend’s mom interrupts her son, much to your couples gratitude and mortification. jisung, confused but still eager, gets out of the car first, smoothie-ready in his entirety. just as you’re about to climb out of the passenger’s seat, his mom stops you with a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“talk to him about this when he’s cognizant,” she says, looking directly into your eyes. “he means what he’s saying, even if he’s a little out of it right now.”

your heart beats just a little louder in your chest, and it’s all you can do to blink at her and nod before pushing yourself out of the car. jisung... likes having your love? he actively gives you his own love? your mind is reeling as you step out of the car, but as jisung - your best friend, your partner-in-crime, your childhood crush who’s currently appraising the smoothie shop’s sign like it’s from an alien planet - sees you, his eyes light up. you hold out your hand, and he envelopes your palm in his huge one as if it’s second nature, which you suppose it is.

“ready to pick out what you want?” you ask.

“will you really check for me?” even though you notice that he’s finally wearing his glasses now, you don’t say anything about them. instead, you nod as you push open the doors to the shop.

“i’ll always check for you, ‘sung.”

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

[pliskin]

Talking about mk 2021

So I’m really disappointed with it I was only excited for the bihan and hanzo scenes and both are so under-utilized I’m so sad. Like every character is really under-utilized and ik that one guy got ratioed on twitter for saying it needed to be longer but like it was really trying to do too much it just becomes incoherent. To be honest if they just wanted to focus on action and gore why not just do the tournament bc the story is SO bad it really takes away other elements that were good or decent

I tried not to be super pissed about cole but he was so underwhelming, he was just.... a guy... barely spoke... couldn’t remember a single line he said. Kano-johnny hybrid took up like 90% of the script and like it’s fucking Kano I don’t care about him LOL. Cole’s dumb fight with goro was longer than the subzero vs scorpion fight that was supposed to sell the whole movie, and Then they had to throw cole into it who did nothing and ruined the whole thing

Even trying to think of it in the most low brow terms possible it still wasn’t good, the gore was nothing special, nothing has good build up to it, the “bad guys” just jobbed and could’ve been replaced by like fuckin netherrealm demons that’s how soulless it was

If I had to get into the story I just could talk endlessly but I don’t want to and want to leave it at being corny in a way that’s not endearing at all. The only character I could say had a character arc or development was Sonya but barely? But even then there was too much wisecracking from her and everyone else and no substance

I’m let down more bc I wanted it to be good even tho I knew it would be bad so that’s my own fault. Really thought there would be more bihan since he was the main antagonist and there really isn’t..... you get kano. Fuck! Pretty disappointed in all, not excited for a sequel though I can see Johnny carrying it by having a personality. Oh well