#ik it probably wont happen tho :(
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full-time-femboy · 10 days ago
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Im rewatching drawtectives again and you know what that means:
MORE SAM UG DOODLES!!!
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I love her
Also, here's her doing thief/spy stuff
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My wife
Commissions - Kofi - Drawtectives Keychains
Reblogs appreciated 💜
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conanssummerchild · 6 months ago
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ok so like i know that technically in canon rick's full name is richard, but in my heart it's ricardo and there's nothing anyone can do abt it
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faaun · 8 months ago
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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neonsbian · 2 years ago
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cirrus’ plan backfiring on him LMAO
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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huh...wuh..accidentally hit daigo with the bpd beam (unintended projection is scary) in sumn im writing but now im thinking daigo could totally have it chairman daigo is better at managing it but 2006 daigo is already doing bad whats another thing on the pile hes got the risky behaviour he's got the impulsiveness maybe the unstable relationships (im reaching i think)..maybe im just smarter than everyone and right and awesome wow..
(i rambled sorry) (my bad) (headcanons are so fun for me sorry)
you come into my house and proclaim yourself smarter than me when it comes to daigo dojima i will make your execution quick and painless
unfortunately you're right in this one instance cause i dont know a licka anything about BPD so i'll SIMPLY have to take your word on it. whats another trouble for the boy yk
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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youraveragemushroom · 2 years ago
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♡♡♡♡
#.#im understanding sisyphus a lot better now#or rather just greek irony a lot more#nobody was doing purgatory or hell the way they greeks were#sorry i was thinking of tantalus yeah thats whats happening to me#cause i like cooking i like food#i wanna say maybe to some im actually good at it or something maybe#but i also cant it more than one meal a day if that or else i go to really dark places mentally and feel like shit physically#like its bad and ik i should work on reversing the whole ED situation#but unintentionally or not ive invested too much into this sinking ship to not see it through#its not that bad i swear ik it could be worse and im not encouraging it to worsen#but like is it bad id rather it get worse than i recover?#no yeah thats bad its bad damn oh well its not like its not obvious im like transparent w this shit i bet nobodys said anything tho so its#it cant be that bad cause nobodys said anything#doesnt mean they havent noticed but hey theyre also the same ppl who are happy im marginally less fat and kinda on the right path#like if i hadnt fucked this week up then i wouldve hit 25 probably#i def did hit 25 one day but yeah atm its 20 and if i put in the effort which i hate how hopeful it sounds i know its bad but fuck i cant#care about morality and shit anymore nothing good has come of being moral or healthy or trying to get better#the only thing thats working rn is this so maybe if in a few months i hit that dream number maybe itll make it easier to not kill myself#like sure it wont change everything else wrong but even if im alone at least 40 pounds lighter i wont mind living w myself#like even if it makes no difference to anyone at least maybe i can look in the mirror for longer than a few seconds before starting to cry#i thought there would be more good days before things got bleak but now its like hard to tell myself its worth holding out for the next ones#i dont mean ​worth in a suicidal way#but like yeah no i cant find reasons to be happy and that should be scary except its been months and im just tired now#i cant believe ive gotten to this level of defeat i didnt think this was achievable outside like a literary context#goodnight and happy v day i guess cheers
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metis-iphigenia · 3 months ago
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SOME DC RARESHIPS AND MY OPINIONS ON THEM(because this is supposed to be a yapping account but i wont be going on an analysis)
1)harpercass: my best friend got me into this ship and honestly they are very very cute. if it wasnt for stephcass they would be probably my favourite ship for cass for sure
2)timives: again, the same best friend got me into this ship but i have to thank them because this ship is a great ship
3)damimaps/mapsbird: i didnt look at them as a ship material but now that i do its a great ship made out of a great dynamic. i love my little detective duo <33 though i do prefer them as friends(robin twins)
4)stephrose: i think they would have been a very fun duo to read about in a platonic or romantic relationship
5)colindami: friends to lovers my beloved <33 they were very very entertaining to read and their bond was something i would like to see agian i wish dc would just bring back colin tbh but thats not gonna happen sadly :((
6)harlcativy: god gave us two(2) hands for a reason😈😈 also idk if this is a rareship but i didnt see anything about it so im assuming it is
7)darlasteph(idk their ship name): i smell lesbanism on them but darla being the reason steph became robin and darla dying because of stephs actions after she got fired is :(( it makes me cry ngl
8) taidami/greenbird: i honestly did not know this ship existed until a week ago and from my researches they are the same age(correct me if im wrong) if im right then artist lovers here i come!! i actually want them to be friends badly but i would also love an academic rivals to lovers arc with them(them being friends in their vigilante self but fighting in civvies lol) academic rivals to lovers because damian would love that trope imo(kinda canon with their manga)
9)tamsteph: i saw fanart of them today now i cannot get them out of my mind i think they would get along pretty well
10)babskori/starwatch: im a sucker for women leaving their ex and dating eachother instead they would have been a very nice relationship maybe it wouldnt work out tho?? who knows
11)jaderoy: idk how they are a rareship while being canon but i cannot find anything about them😭😭 doomed tragic yuri noo..😣
12)ghostcat: honestly this came out as a joke😭😭 i was thinking about ghostdemonbatcat(amazing ship ik😼) and i thought "this implies khoa and selina is also dating hmmm" and just went from there tbh
13) mara/maya(either m&m or r&y): no comment on this one because i dont know if their ages match the only reason i wrote it is because i wanted to tell people the ship name i came up for them😈😈
14)demoncat: they arent that rare but cat wives is all i wanna say
15)timtam: same with jaderoy, i cannot find content of them. they were very sweet imo
honorary mention to the ships i dont know well but my best friend does and she knows the best
*cissie/cassie
*cassie/steph
*greta/cassie
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eggmode · 3 months ago
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my take on the bats in fnaf
(ik fnaf is in utah, but we're putting it in new jersey for our Purposes here.)
bruce: he would take the position of nightguard in under an alias in order to investigate the missing children cases. when the animatronics start moving in the night, he deduces how to survive, but ultimately his goal is to give the children the justice they deserve. he investigates during the night, evading attacks by the animatronics, and eventually discovers william afton is the murderer. but where is he...
dick: since bludhaven is gotham's sister city, lets say that freddy fazbear's has a sister location(!!!) in bludhaven. he's wary of circus baby, but ultimately plays along with her instructions, until she tries to direct him to the scooping room. u think he took this job without memorizing the layout of the place first? he ends up doing the extra night and seeing the fnaf 4 cam footage. hmm... also yeah dick would probably enjoy the the thrill of a def haunted facility, but i cant imagine he'd like how confined the space is, or that he'd prioritize the fun of a haunting over respecting the dead kids
babs: the job is easy for her. unlike bruce, though, she sees golden freddy and freaks tf out, tho she wont admit that
jason: one of the kids that went missing were from crime alley, so this case is within his jurisdiction. tbh he'd want to go after anyone who killed kids anyway. he would have an intense time. freaking out manifesting as "YOU GOT MURDERED AS A KID AND CAME BACK WRONG, I GET IT, BUT PLEASE DONT KILL ME OVER IT." he would not see the hypocrisy in that statement, but he would relate to the kids. when dick says he had to crawl through vents, jason was glad that he doesnt live in bludhaven
tim: he sees that the fnaf 3 location has an Authentic Animatronic and he wants to investigate. i think if it were any other game he'd manage fine, so thats exactly why im forcing him to have hallucinations. make things more difficult. he does determine that william is in the spring bonnie suit, tho! jason tries to burn the place down Immediately, but william ultimately escapes
cass, steph, and damian: after tim does fnaf 3, its pizzeria simulator time!! they decide to tagteam it. cass handles the scrap animatronics, steph decides what to buy, and damian handles lawsuits. they take turns with the end of night gameplay. when henry burns the place down, he did plan an escape route for them. the trio do try to save henry, but he insists on dying with his daughter.
by the end of it all, the bats all have solid evidence that it was william was the killer, and the full story of what happened to the kids to give to their families.
also they did in fact have a theory bulletin board put up in the batcave. it was a wreck by the end.
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transhoverfish · 10 months ago
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OK SO IM LATE BUT. MORE SUB3 NEWS!!!
so a few days ago, krafton (their publisher), apparently had this like presentation of their plans over the next like 2 years. and during that they talked a bit about sub 3!
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and this obviously creates a LOT of questions. not to worry, though, because unknown worlds added on to this:
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im honestly not surprised by this. iirc, when below zero released they said it would be a WHILE before the next game, and they only announced this back in like... january? now, the first game's release was in january, and bz was in may, so it's definitely possible early access with be in spring of 2025. those games did not have multiplayer aspections tho! its possible we'll wait until mid 2025, and full release will likely not be until 2026. but who knows? the first game took like ten to be fully finished!!
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and honestly. THANK GOD. i can't imagine any subnautica game having BATTLE PASSES or LOOT BOXES. i would have just straight up ignored this game 😭
i do wonder what these updates will entail! "many years to come" is definitely something interesting to me, because other than bug fixes... i dont remember sub or bz getting many updates post full release. is this referring to bug fixes, or is it implying that it will be in a state of early access for much longer? are they going to just keep adding new things (like the building update for sub1) and taking fandom suggestions? very interested!!
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maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but i actually,,,, dont want multiplayer. now i do like bz, and these games arent really intended to be horror games, but also bz is very noticeablely less scary than sub1. and some of it i think definitely has to do with all the extra characters and dialogue. its hard to feel isolated when you know al-an and marg are nearby. so im very happy that it's optional, bc i know i will probably enjoy single player a lot more enjoyable!!
so now... SPECULATION.
so the first thing im curious about that the development team didnt mention:
"uncover the mysteries on an entirely new alien planet"
apprently we are NOT returning to 4546b. which im kind of sad about!! ik the story is very obviously done there, but it feels weird that its going to be some other planet this time around. THERE WONT BE PEEPERS!!!! (well there could be but it would be weird if some other random planet had the exact same lifeforms)
now my next immediate thought is: is this a direct continuation of below zero? my opinion is: no. probably not.
mostly because it mentions up to four players, and robin and alan are, if you look very closely, only two people. now they COULD just create two new characters to go alongside them (my fanfic brain loves the au idea of marg and ryley 🥺) but im just going to assume that with the addition of a new planet, we're going to drop the old storylines. which means no more degasi, sunbeam, aurora, or ayou sisters. we might move away from architects/precursors altogether! (my basis on this is absolutely nothing and i could be wrong, this is 100% just theorizing)
also, i imagine that it would be difficult to keep the plot the exact same with two established characters and then two new ones, depending on how this multiplayer aspect works. if its another crash, it would be a lot easier to just have the extra players die/survive, then try to work in a balancing act of one guy playing al-an.
(also i like keeping the ending of bz vauge. if they show up again, they would have to mention what happened to the rest of the architects, and i think it's much more fun if thats a mystery!)
((also also, im gonna drop a bomb on u all for a second. i actually,,, dont like al-an. i have a deeper connection to probably every single other character in bz. i think they really fumbled al's character and story and he is so incredibly bland to me. it feels like they go nowhere with how he was responsible for the kharra outbreak because the game ends immediately after he confesses! it would be nice to give him another chance, sure, but i personally dread the idea of even more al-an. sorry everyone for this horrible news))
HERE'S A CONCEPT IMAGE
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i hope they bring back some cut content creatures for this!! i noticed this new area looks VERY similar to the safe shallows, and several of the fish seem to be variations of ones we've already seen (im already seeing bladderfish and hoopfish color pallettes, and the shark resmbles some early concept art for the shadow leviathan, but with the ice worm's colors...)
will there be more land areas?? is it going to entirely underwater?? more kharra?? NO DISEASE AT ALL?? AAAAAA!!!!
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void-with-a-keyboard · 6 months ago
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so
*tents my hands mischievously*
sun and solars early relationship
i said i would talk about it SO I AM
im just. imagining solar so desperately pining for sun but refusing to do anything about it bc he was too scared to- so hes just silently watching from a distance and no u didnt just see him staring at sun while playing with the kids wut r u talking about?? he definitely doesnt find everything that sun does endearing and adorable y would u ever think that???
i feel like either moon or lunar or earth (or maybe all 3 lmao) would be like "just talk to him man" and so eventually he does and hes like "actually this isnt so ba-" GETS HIT WITH EMOTIONAL BEAM
he feels like 20 things at once and he doesnt know wut to do with himself. he wants to cry, he wants to hug him, he wants to kiss him, he wants to apologize even tho this isnt his sun and he feels both amazing to get to talk to him but also so emotional bc this isnt his sun hes talking to so eventually he runs off and sun is SUPER worried bc he has no clue wut just happened- one second he was talking with solar and the next solar is running out of the room with no explanation
eventually he does talk to sun again bc sun is worried n asks wuts wrong and blah blah blah emotion stuff. eventually it leads to solar talking about how much he misses his sun and how he wishes he could have that same connection he had and sun is like "well, i could be ur brother too?" and solar at first is like "no no u dont have to" but at the same time hes been YEARNING to have that connection with sun FOR SO LONG. its not gonna be the same as before, and he knows that. but its better than nothing, ya know?
and so then they slowly grow closer and closer. i imagine that solar and sun is like the "fell first and fell harder" trope. solar obviously fell first (if ya cant tell lmao). he has no fucking clue wut to do. sure at this point probably everyone is kissing everyone but for my own sanity im going to ignore that so my adhd doesnt get side tracked- but he doesnt really know wut to do since- how tf do u tell ur brother u wanna kiss him?
then u have sun over here who eventually comes to his own realization of "oh shit i really like him like that" and hes just- fumbling all over the place AND IS SO AWKWARD ABOUT IT TOO- like solar can at least PARTIALLY compose himself and hide since its been going on for so long but sun absolutely did NOT catch himself and face planted into his own feelings like a pool of oobleck, hitting hard then slowly sinking further and further (strange comparison ik but its the most accurate)
but they do eventually confess! i say sun does first bc he just NEEDS to let his feelings be known and if solar doesnt feel the same then thats okay bc he can manage and he wont ever bring it up again- ofc solar is absolutely fucking flabbergasted and is screaming internally bc "WTF IS HAPPENING-" but eventually he (metaphorically) slaps himself back to reality and admits that he feels the same
AND THEN THEY KISS THE END!!!!
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upsidedowngrass · 1 year ago
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reading your and jaspers posts about bryce with silent admiration because im too scared to contribute but i really love bryce so much hes my girlfriend and my husband and i like hearing u guys talk about him because youre Right. especially as someone who struggled from grief and trauma and being abused i think bryce's case interests me more than any of the other characters (even though liam is my favorite, and it says a lot because i find all of them interesting) because there is so much to him. i doubt he has processed a single thing about what happened. i think stellas death was recent too honestly, within the last few years at least, and he copes by... not coping. burying himself in work and drinking in the hopes to forget about it. not even to mention the fact that in episode 7 it showed him driving home drunk personally i feel he was past the point of caring to the point of engaging in risky/dangerous behaviors (this speaks for itself, i dont think i need to say why). i think that the plane impacted him so much that within those 7 months after leaving he got his shit together. i cant speak for if hes totally sober or not but at the very least he doesn't drink as much as he used to and i doubt he's putting himself in danger anymore. to be honest i think bryce is one of the characters who has changed the most because of the plane, which makes him being rejoined all the more interesting to me. im probably just making shit up but i like to read into it a little more than "bryce and liam were getting along but now theyre separated and liam has to fix it oh no". sorry this ask is kind of word vomit im not in the headspace to tidy it up but i hope you get what i mean
i think if one had continued for longer than it did it would have been interesting to explore bryce finally accepting and coming to terms with his past (him not seeing his childhood home in the wr anymore kind of representing this). i love bryce and he deserves to heal
TY!!!!!!! im glad my thoughts warrant admiration to you :D!!!!!!!!!!! (i will say tho that every time uve ever posted YOURE thoughts i am like ohhhhh.... ur SO RIGHT. i think u have some of the BEST interpretations of the one characters ive seen!!!!!)
(talked SOOO so much .so there is a readmore :) )
brcye really IS such an interesting character???? ik ive said it before but i AM biased towards protagonists so i usually focus on liam but like ...... bryce really IS probably one of the more. indepth ? characters in one in terms of like. background and how he Acts. i think ALL of teh characters are written really incredibly but i think, given how much of his bg is clarified (esp in contrast with how little is shown of the other characters lives pre-one) his motives, personality, emotions all end up being SUPER super elaborate and i REALLY love how he was written ??
(that said i think the reason he IS elaborated on sm is bc like. one doesnt elaborate on character backgrounds like MOST of the time. even charlotte is mostly left up to interpretation, bc one is more about the HOW people respond rather than WHAT made them respond that way. but charlotte and bryce are both outliers, and bryce ESPECIALLY so. because both obviously have Things they havent worked through properly, but bryce is directly just. Living in it. its the fact that he WONT acknowledge the actual Things that hapepned enough to heal that warrants the elaboration. while the other characters stop acknowledging ANYTHING about their lives , save for charlotte, who gradually works out her issues themselves, because THATS whats effecting her, bryce is CONSTANTLY just. he Needs to go back, but his problems ARE about what happened, and the fact that his life outside of the plane was what MATTERED to him, but that even then, he just Wouldnt acknowledge that life when he Needed to. idk if that makes sense but ohhh i think about the decision to elaborate on some characters and to not on others bc it feels Important)
hes so. he mirrors all of the contestants in some ways, but he mirrors amelia a LOT in that both of them respond to trauma by Setting It Aside. like That Trauma Cant Affect Me If I Dont Look At It. like. ur right bryce has NOT processed ANY of his trauma. which like it makes SENSE bc. it prob feels so much easier to him to not think about it by drinking instead, because its a Lot to think about. its a Lot to come to terms with. but bc he WONT acknowledge it but its still AFFECTING him he just gets More and More miserable (the detail about him driving home drunk and not even caring is so. :( )
what IS one of the most. compelling? aspects of his character to me is the way he responded to Everything after getting eliminated. bc it just feels So Real. because he IS healing, not completely, and not in the best way, but he clearly like. started putting SO much work into improving his life??? (the detail of him finally getting an end table for his bed instead of just... using a cardboard box ALWAYS gets to me. and that + the fact that the photo of stella is put up makes it seem like. THATS what was in that box. he LITERALLY started Unpacking thigns. its like poetry to me.) because it IS hard, and i think hes still putting things to the side, shoving the trauma from the plane to the side now instead of all his other grief and trauma. and the removal of the cans from his room yknow?? that hes getting up for work on time now?? its like. yeah i agree idk if hes necessarily SOBER yet but he really does seem like hes working really hard
its not perfect, but its BETTER and it feels. correct?? (and tbh? trying to brush off the plane as a dream isnt even teh worst thing he couldve done with that, i think, bc reasonably what WAS he supposed to do w that experience?? i dont think there WAS a good answer) bc the plane was a whole new kind of trauma. and i think surface level, one would THINK hed get WORSE after further trauma but like. i think he DID in some ways but in the ways that actually affected how he acknowledged and responded to his pre-existing trauma DID get better bc, as he puts it, hed Thrown his life away before, and didnt want to do it again. bc this time, he very well couldve died. and while he was on the plane, being home, on earth was SO much better than the plane, and it recontextualized Everything. hell, maybe after that, the earth finally felt Less daunting, like somewhere he Wanted to be, because for once, he WANTED to be back, and rationalizing That and the fact that he got Lucky, that something Worse couldve just full on Killed Him Forever really DID mean he didnt WANT the worse to come, at least not as much as before. but that meant he HAD to start actually Working on improving things, and i think he may not have Intended to acknowledge Worse things, but simply because the things he had to do to improve his life, like drinking less, making his house more Livable, they all Forced him to think about things More. hes still certainly not thinking about them as much as he Should, hes still not Processing things, but hes Heading in the right direction . he really was SO changed by ONE
and then liam showing up forces him, once again, to think about something he tried to push to the side. aaaaaaaandd then he rejoins and its so. it feels thematically fitting and IS so so SO interessting. because for once in his life hes REALLY facing his trauma head on. but then is brought straight back into it. and i need to think about that aspect more bc those thoughts are a bit less Focused than my other thoughts but given how complex his writing is after he gets OUT, its. SO interesting to think about how being BACK affects him
esp bc like. him starting ep 18 Pissed Off- which historically his responses to trauma are to either just Be Shocked, as depicted a LOT in ep 14, or to get Very Vocally pissed, as shown through the first half of s1, esp ep 6, and ep 11, and ep 13, and ep 18. ive seen it written as 'he doesnt have anywhere to direct the sheer amnt of STRESS and fear so he just. ends up yelling at people bc what else CAN he do' and i think thats?? probably fairly accurate. i dont think hes as Constantly Irritable and Irrationally Angry as fanon presents him , bc it tends to be. excessive. but he DOES get reasonably angry in response to stress !!! i always think abt how his body language in the 'credits' scene of ep 6 look like hes yelling at airy. and im. lays on the ground. i dont even know if thats ever as much 'just anger' as it is Fear and it FUCKS ME UP
but the way i see it, that ties to ep 18 a LOT. because he was really Getting better. hell, what he thought was the WORST that could happen HAPPENED (dying) but he. came out OKAY? its like he was being forced to think about and work through his trauma and he survived and was ok. but being sent back is like. 'oh god i did that all for nothing.' but i think it also sort of?? serves as the Last Push for him to really, REALLY acknowledge the plane (which is why it makes sense so thematically for him to be the rejoiner. he WAS the only contestant whod Chosen to ignore it all. but that has nothing to do with the plane, he cant choose if the plane ignores Him.) past talking about its affects, how its affected people. because after everything hed worked toward, hes Back. hes back, and everyone else is STILL HERE. liam had said they were all still There but seeing them there is a whole other thing. hed SEEN the effects of making it out after 7 months. but he never saw what it was like to still BE there after all that time. and bryce CARES about them (fanon sometimes treats him as if he is a bit. coldhearted? but i think people misattribute him being unhappy with liam as him not caring. i think the problem is that he maybe cares too much, and was affected a LOT, but didnt and doesnt know how to handle that. so he WANTS to ignore it, because it was all he could do, and haaving to backtrack on his haphazard healing from the plane is. highly daunting and uncommfortable and terrifying. thats not being cold though, thats VERY different) and now he HAS to acknowledge Everything, has to be a part of it Again. and i think its a combination of 'liam was here for 7 months after we all thought itd only be a few weeks. Anything could happen. who knows how long ill be here for?' and 'liam didnt have anything when he came back. will I have anything when i come back?? will i have worked so, so hard to heal and fix my life for Nothing?' and 'i dont WANT to be here again.' and 'oh my god all of them Really Really Are Here. Theyve been here the whole time.' and i think all that culminates in an appropriate amount of horror, and that prompts him to do what hes STARTED doing, which was All He Can. and hes pissed off cus hes terrified, so he spurs everyone into pulling out the plug. and then. it doesnt work. it doesnt work and thats the LAST of what he had, and i think iirc hes the LAST one to close his eyes afterwards. because hed BEEN off the plane, hes the one of them who had any hope to give them anymore. and it didnt work
(i also think a lot about how it mustve felt seeing the contestants all so. resigned. because bryce was like that before all this, but ever since one began he was stubborn, and didnt WANT to give up. and i think finding out that these people youd seen try so, so hard just to Handle Any Of This be SO resigned would be. so fucked up. he knew amelia when she was so determined to leave, and while charlotte seems a bit saddened by her resignation, bryce was there BEFORE that happened. he wasnt there like liam or charlotte was to see it gradually develop, and to develop that despair alongside them. all hes seen is that amelia was so determined. and that he may not have known her THAT well before, he knows shes different. he knows she Gave Up and like. GOD. and also i think abt how he mustve Felt seeing the plug for the first time because ehs the only one of them who hadnt seen it before (given its likely all the other characters had, since they casually refer to it). and given the short time frame between him getting there, and the contestants trying to pull the plug? it almost seems that that was like. the last straw. and ive never posted it but i once drew stuff abt it bc. the damage to it is noticable. and i think hes already aware liam was fucked up, but this is like. a tangible, permanent record of that on the plane. and he cares about liam, and has been grappling with all the things liams told him, but thats. thats something he can See. And i think it all of it culminates in him deciding that what hes been avoiding is doing Soemthing about all this, because before he couldnt, and then it was. an awful idea to, and then he didnt have many choices BUT to help. but now theres hardly anything to do, but he has to try. he doesnt want to give up. and it makes me soooooooooooooooooo. head in hands.)
anyway that was a LONG tangent the point is. YEAH. i think rejoining would be. very very significant for his character i dont think youre making shit up its DEFINENTLY a topic w a lot of things to discuss about it
but god. yeah it wouldve been SO nice to see him come to terms with everything hed been through before one. i think the show purposefully included what it did and ended when it did because it makes more sense thematically for it to go unresolved, because the point was that NOTHING was able to be resolved nicely because unfortunately, many things are Out Of Their Control. things COULDVE resolved almost perfect but enough things went wrong at just the right (or more fitting, wrong) time for all of that to not work. i think him no longer seeing the suburbs may have signalled more that maybe, just maybe, he could Do something to help the other contestants even if HE was Dead, that now he finally HAS a goal, if that makes sense (though i think even in the timeline of the series it still wouldve taken way longer for him to process everything Fully, they WERE only in the waiting room for probably about a day) but the idea of finally seeing the waiting room as it is bc hed finally worked through everything .... man.............. man
ik ive already said it though but i DO think it is sooooo so possible for him to heal post canon. im a firm believer that no matter what, at LEAST bryce and ameliaa get home (liam and charlotte have more room for error but i DO generally interpret the ending as them both getting home too, theres just less room for things to go wrong w amelia and bryce). and i think after everything? hed be able to heal. it would SUCK but i think hes, shockingly, in a better place Logistically for things to improve, because he has a support system, he has what hed already worked on in those 7 months, he has so much to aim for. it would be rough and take long but i think ultimately? hed be able to heal :) and its what he deserves
#ask#got SO rambly in this answer . this ask made me think SO MUCH#man tho. the theme of people responding to Trauma in one is legitimately so.#it feels so significant and i think it was done SO well#like. fun fact but ep 6 was what REALLY sold me on the show when i first watched it#which SOUNDS morbid but it was the post credits scene that Got me#because it jsut. sounded so much like how trauma is discussed irl. when liam like#says 'i was riding home on my bike when it happened' i remember i was so. Ohhh My God#bc i was. oh this show is just. having characters naturally respond to and discuss trauma#like it wasnt just an element of the series anymore it clicked that the show was developing a literary THEME and it made me sooooo emotiona#like it esp hit hard bc . discussing trauma is a LOT and seeing them Talk Abt It like that hit me so hard.#and to this day that scene is just so. emotionally impactful#AND sidenote its so. at that pt in the series nothing has been Revealed abt bryces life before one#but the fact that hed Been Through Shit Before makes the scene feel so important.#because bryce has been through a LOT of trauma already. and bc of that? of course hes the one talking to liam. because he *gets it.*#of course he talks about it so naturally. he may not have really worked through anything but he KNOWS this#and whether or not liams been through stuff before doesnt matter here. because this isnt something he knows how to live through#but bryce has experience with living through things. hes the only one able and willing to talk eith liam through it because he Gets it#and it makes me so. AUUUGHGG#alcohol#ask to tag#(also as silly as it is liam abruptly cutting the convo off to talk abt the grass is like. yeah. yeah#emotional convos with friends abt trauma can very often end abruptly for completely unrelated reasons#at least in my exp#which is prob bc eventually theres nothing TO say bc the topic sorta. speaks for itself?? and that feels like what happened in their convo#though i think liam prob ALSO mentions it bc. id imagine its unnerving to notice . like this place would just FEEL so abnormal#and it was prob on his mind bc the two of them were already talking abt fucked up things about the plane#and its a small detail but. a detail about the plane nonetheless)
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demadogs · 2 years ago
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Hiiii You don't have to answer this if you don't like mentions of possible leaks. This is just a warning because Ik some ppl don't want to hear/talk about that stuff.
Do you think there will be any time for a little normalcy in S5? I know the duffers said S5 will be fast-paced and there's going to be a lot of drama since there's basically an apocalypse, but I also remember when that picture of a prom poster was going around. I've seen people talk about it, but not much and i know the school they filmed at is getting destroyed.
thanks for the warning about the leaks i usually dont care/believe those but ill answer this.
i think there will some normalcy but it’ll probably mostly be at the end after vecna and the upside down is dead for good instead of the beginning like it usually is. and they usually do fit in some normal life situations amongst the chaos like robins coming out, jancy at the motel comparing scars, the crazy together scene, stuff like that.
idk if there will be a prom. i didnt even know that stemmed from a leak i thought people just liked that concept. id love if there was one but dont count on it actually happening. i also dont think they would skip to their senior or junior year bc it seems like it has to take place right where it left off. but i think they’ll end it well with more normal life scenes like how the did in s1 when they were all playing dnd again.
i didnt know the school was being destroyed. theyre filming this year tho so if there are scenes at the school theyll probably shoot those first and then it wont matter if its gone. but also all of hawkins is in the upside down now so i wouldnt be surprised if the school is completely disregarded bc everyone is living in the same weird dystopia and theyre not worried about education at the moment.
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basilquesadilla · 1 year ago
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Just a warning, this post is just a rant/vent with about 0 organization, and may also have some mild, vague spoilers.
Watched Heartstopper season 2 with a friend last night, and I think this time that show really hit me hard and made me feel super single with my aromanticism, even with Issac there. I really enjoyed spending time with my friend, but I got sad because my thoughts were going “This isn’t forevee, you’ll be back to being alone soon.” Watching issac feel awkward amongst his own friend group felt so relatable, anf I resonated with that hard.
I feel like my aromanticism is just something I’m constantly going up and down with how I feel about it. I’ll feel great about it for a bit, then i wont feel hood about it at all for a while, which is getting tiring to experience. I often try to attach queerplatonic/platonic meaning to romantic songs, and i tried to do that with the song that played in the final scene where Charlie talks about the bullying he experienced and what it was like. But i couldn’t do it. There’s not even anyone I’ve met that i’d wanna be in a queerplatonic relationship with, aside from a few where i knew there was no chance. I just felt so lonely so I couldn’t even listen to it.
One thing that doesn’t help me is I feel so touch starved yet I’m also often touch-averse, likely due to the former. It took me nearly a.year with my current friends who I met last year to even do hugs, and I doubt it’ll ever go beyond that because i feel like people never show their friends that much physical affection. Especially since, even if i am non binary, i still look like a cis man right now. And I know a lot of people would find like doing any physical affection with me because of that probably, and I’m touch averse so what does it matter anyways lol. It’s just a torturous limbo lol.
My friend was saying how the show made them want to reinstall dating apps, and meanwhile after the show I had to tune my thoughts out with TikTok and listening to other music to avoid my thoughts.
Another thing that hurts is(this is some long context that i need to add) is that after high school ended, i really didnt get to keep in contact with a lot of my friends(Ik that’s common but bear with me). I’d watch some of them thriving and finding friends despite it being 2020 fall semester where covid was still in its full swing in terms of impact on uni, and meanwhile I was alone. I was severely depressed, and lonely. Because no one i met in my courses with other engineering majors clicked with me(the classes were pre reqs for me as a computer science major). So then I got more lonely, and sophomore year was a repeat.
Final week of school that 2nd year i even decided i couldn’t take talking to even my online friends community aside from 2-3 close friends there. Then junior year happens, and i met my current friends. And of course i love them and everything. But i also have this voice in my head saying that the repeat will happen post graduation. We’ll all go to different places, and then they’ll talk to me less and less, and eventually I’ll just feel lonely and isolated again, and be back to thinking some very dark thoughts. And it’s terrifying. And i guess watching heartstopper s2 reminded me of all that, even tho i absolutely adored it still. All i could think in the back of my head was “you will never experience affectionate touch like this. You will never be able to be in a romantic relationship,’or a queerplatonic one. You’ll be lonely and your friends won’t always be there with you.”
So yeah, here I am, back to feeling shitty about being aromantic and hating it. Because instead of feeling the yearning, crushing, and relationships like others. Instead of feeling physical affection like others. Instead of being able to see a future with a partner. All im experiencing right now is bitterness at my lot in life and how i feel like all my friends will slowly leave me, and i won’t be able to make new ones because I suck at doing that as shown by the 2 years before meeting my current ones. And that just makes me feel depressed. I honestly feel kinda broken and hopeless. Aro and thus a lot of relationship options are cutoff from me, cant find people I’d want to enter a queerplatonic relationship with, AND have trouble with making friends. It just feels like I’m destined to be lonely, and ik it isnt supposed to be a factor in that, but it does feel like being aromantic plays a role in this whole mess for me rn. And i hate that.
If you read to the end of this, ty and I greatly appreciate you :) 💛
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stray-tori · 1 year ago
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trigun stampede reaction compilation & thoughts
it is trigun stampede time. <- can't watch new link click ep
funfact: I called Meryl Merelyn for like. the entire watch. I can't hear :)
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finally watching trigun stampede. i enjoy it a lot so far. sometimes the animation is a bit too overly animated (lol) but that's my only nitpick so far.
Meryl going "!!! journalistic integrityyyy, don't flatter meeee" was so cute, she's very endearing.
I didn't think it'd hook me that well, I just kinda wanted something to distract me a bit.
(insect bomb thingies) JESUS CHRIST
(idv reference) breaking wheel crossover spotted.
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i like that the antagonist is just in this wack-ass clothed hood (how is it so big?) and is just.... slowly walking across the desert to the goal, like dude you couldn't get... a vehicle or sth? damn
a funny dude ominously terrifying but kinda funny
nvm absolutely terrifying the hood is still a lil goofy
why's there another kid that has the same hairstyle as the other two as kids......
(Kni obliterating the town) ok but why tho dude
oh hey wolfwood. oh. he ded. epic.
lmao his speech to god with that deadpan voice and wide kneel is sending me he is kinda creepy- i get that hes being nice to this traumatized child. but he comes across. as so creepy lol- "hey kid WANT A LOLIPOP" (this is even weirder in hindsight, like did he know?? he being an actor out here)
well. they ded. rip NO SPLITTING THE PARTY this show is genuinely creepy
???? they were too busy with the flir compliment to notice Roberto just fucking vanishing in front of them?? okay okay i see how it is
Wolfwood: "you fool!!" (proceeds to keep standing in front of the worm too)
HIS NAME IS NIKOLAS???
fellas does it mean sth to take the words of your thematic foil to heart and eat something again?
awww they're both sleeping in the back of the car lol, adorable
Meryl: im dying of a heat stroke Meryl: (in jacket)
Hello Norton from the 4vs1 asymmetrical game Identity V.
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ooh it was a flashback :0 smooth ... mAN :( NO THIS DUDE. NOT THIS DOCTOR DUDE
why did his death actually bring the wind back i dont understand... like uh, I get that there's some religious theming going on here; but is the show saying that it's actually true and he was needed as a sacrifice? idk about that one chief. Maybe it's "sth sth natural order restored" but hmmm
Subtitles sure would be nice for this silent movie segment (dub was too incompetent to add subtitles for the text, so i had both sub and dub open and alternated as the segments happened. fun times. tbh it probably wasn't that relevant but oh well)
this artstyle and animation of this orphanage segment is SO NICE
that was adorable and way more "eyo?" than i expected from this show. dude smoked as a toddler too though, goddamn.
i…… what about wolfwood being against the cult until they blackmailed him made blue-hair think killing everyone they can blackmail him with would make him a better devotee. Like I guess he's not genuine now but I feel like killing everything he's trying to protect by helping them, is just.... kinda counterproductive.
Wolfwood: ILL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND PLAY WITH YOUR BONES UNTIL YOU BEG FOR DEATH Vash: 🥺
(the context does make sense but this fucking killed me)
ik that its literal for him bc he doesnt need it but saying he wont eat the food bc its "a waste" just hits different for me.... hng.
im gonna cry bc this "home" segment is so nice and im sure soon ill cry bc its gonna get RIPPED AWAY
LUIDA SURVIVED THAT??? HOW DID SHE SURVIVE THAT- Halleluja.
NO HIS HAIR- UNDO THIS RIGHT NOW. WHAT IS THIS- WHERE'S SOFTIE- epic callback tho (? idk what the relation to the other trigun media is.)
apparently it's sort of an semi-divergent prequel? according to the comments at least..... which..... probably means the hair is gonna stay... *sob*
okay, what is even happening-
goddamn the fucking burning animation on Knives.... they went insane, that looked so good.
I- what is happening-
I'm assuming the name of the newbie Meryl will take on is meaningful to the franchise bc it was framed like that but I just sat there like... "w-who? should i know them?"
where's vash :(
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On characters and dynamics
So, some stuff I didn't really comment on but the whole plants thing is very cool, lots of interesting philosophical arguments. Even if the whole... scientist shows journalists around thing was a little.... well, damn, aren't you nice, huh? IDK THAT WAS SO RANDOM WHAT DHSAJD-
Also the imagery of Vash having cords to all of the plants sure was something. (not negative)
I... was really confused on what was going on with his vine thingies at the end. I'm pretty sure both him and Knives got 1 wing each with their... tentacle... thingies, but they never really focused on it well (or maybe I was too tired to notice) so I was like "?? what is this noise behind him" for like... 2 minutes.
I think the show peaked with everything except the end for me (like all the plants stuff, like everything going on with the morality aspects and all that)- which might be my lack of trigun investment going into it to be fair. I feel like.... they did set it up but then didn't really deliver on it in a way that felt impactful to me, things were just kinda... happening and people were just kinda... there. Which like, i get this is kinda beyond anyone's capabilities but. YOU KNOW-
Maybe I just don't get it (likely), but I feel like it was kind of set up well, but then also not really resolved with the same "pieces"?
Like uh. we had wolfwood and vash redirect the cannon from the orphanage, which is very similar to vash redirecting the core-space-cube-thingy from the city in the end.
And we also had the whole "reach the person inside" aspect with livio, which then kind of came back with vash. But Meryl... idk, her part in the climax felt kind of unearned or... not as impactful to me? She wasn't really involved in the livio stuff at all.
I'm not saying Wolfwood would have made sense to be there in her stead, not rly, but her being there just didn't really do anything for me. She even already had her moment of not running away in the orphanage arc too. And she also didn't really have a huge impact in the end either, because it was mostly Rem's memory? Which like, you could argue makes my whole problem irrelevant which is fair, but idk. felt strange.
So yeah, I do think that i find it a jarring that the ending kinda had this whole Meryl->Vash and Wolfwood->Meryl rescuing thing going on, when I feel like the show almost exclusively focused on Meryl+Roberto and Vash+Wolfwood.
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mithliya · 2 years ago
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im sorry if you’re uncomfortable with venting if you are absolutely just delete this or ignore it but i just don’t know what to do. so i’m a 14yo lesbian and i relate to how you were as a teen a lot (ED, bdsm, suicidal, trying to come to terms w your sexuality, etc.) i live in an incredibly republican + rural area and i have a bad home life, and my parents are like devout mormons and if they ever found out that i’m gay they’d kick me out or send me to conversion therapy or my dad might rape me. i don’t have any friends, and not in a dramatic way just genuinely i’m very shy and reserved so i don’t really talk to people and i’m too scared to contact the suicide hotline because i don’t want my parents to catch me or hear me or anything like that. i’ve been sexually abused my whole childhood by all male members of my family (two brothers + my dad) and everyone in my family knows, but nothings ever happened. they all blame me. i don’t know where i’m going with this, just background i guess but i don’t know what to do. it feels like i’m ruined and i don’t know if it’ll get better. i’m so scared of the future and just the world in general, so many men have abused me especially because of how bad my area is i can barely go outside without feeling terrified i’m gonna get assaulted. i don’t know how i’ll ever date or anything like that because acknowledging that i’m gay makes me want to vomit. i don’t know. there are so many other things but i just don’t know. i’m sorry for ranting i just don’t know what to do or if it gets any better. sorry this is long and ranting i don’t want to trigger you or anything sorry
anon youre still incredibly young and from what youre telling me, it seems like your environment is the biggest issue. i also was in a terrible environment at your age, although not the same kind of terrible environment, and it exacerbated everything. being a teenager is already a stressful & difficult time, so to have to face repeated sexual abuse & rape & constant homophobia & extremely religious upbringing all at once is bound to make someone struggle with a lot of mental health issues and at such a stage, practically NO ONE would be able to fathom something like coming out or accepting their sexuality while going thru the type of stuff youre going through. i know i absolutely couldn’t. while this isnt ideal, but potentially a worst case scenario, wouldn’t you be able to be leave as an adult? like, get some kind of job or go to university and leave them from there? bc i think a lot of these issues you mentioned will be an aspect of your past as soon as you manage to get out of that house & out of that community. ik 4 years is a long time tho so ideally, if you find an excuse or means to leave even sooner then i would assume it’d be better for you in terms of your mental health. i assume the stuff you’ve mentioned to be would be grounds for calling child protective services or the police but there’s no guarantee whatever happens to you when you pursue such a path would necessarily be better. regardless, i have no reason to believe it wont *ever* get better based on what you told me, just that your family is not the kind you can keep close contact with and stay with once youre old enough to leave. i think there’s hope for you and there’s a way out of this & a chance of a good fulfilling life in the future, there’s many potential paths you could pursue especially considering your dad and brothers are downright criminals and abusers. if possible, maybe call a domestic violence hotline bc they probably will know better on how to navigate this situation. i know you said youre afraid of being overheard, if possible maybe make the call when youre at school for example in the bathrooms or when youre in the shower (have the showers on and perhaps play loud music) or when youre home alone or outside alone
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