#igor karkaroff x gilderoy lockhart

[orchideous-nox]

Igor, with his mouth full: salt and vinegar is the piss kink of crisp flavours Gilderoy: *looks at the packet in Igor's hand* Gilderoy: Noted.

inspired by this tweet

[futurequibblerjournalist]

goldenshower.

I was literally saying this word as the ask loaded what the fuck is going on

[darknesscall-rp]

✖ full name: Kaelys Ollivander ✖ age range: 21 - 25 ✖ preferred pronouns: Tba ✖ affiliation: Neutral ✖ occupation: Tba ✖ blood status: Pureblood ✖ former house: Gryffindor

✖ checked information (x) ✖ face claim: Ciara Renée

(recollected by Rita Skeeter. Sources can be less than reliable.)

✖ Apparently she’s very competitive in all aspects of her life. She used to play Quidditch back in school and she was an amazing flyer. Best seeker in Gryffindor’s history. ✖ With a brother like that it’s no surprise she does all the work. She will probably end up taking over the family business herself.    ✖ People say Ollivander and Gregorovitch are actually very good friends, but Kaelys and Gregorovitch’s granddaughter just can’t get along. They have started the true competition between the families. 

⦃ Written by the player ⦄

Kilian Ollivander: Half brother, very protective of.  Gilderoy Lockhart, Taryon Delacour: Annoyed by.   Vincent Delacour, Annick Rousseau: Childhood friends.   Igor, Rayna Karkaroff: Secretly finds them attractive.  Fredrika Gregorovitch: Rival.   Millicent Bagnold: Confidant.

[orchideous-nox]

[orchideous-nox]

igor has to come at least twice before he'll let gilderoy come. he told me so himself.

[orchideous-nox]

A GOLDENSHOWER EDIT FOR ALL YOU THIRSTY BITCHES < 3

[orchideous-nox]

I desperately want to work on my filthy/gorgoeus goldenshower edit but capcut is homophobic and puts everything fun behind a ridiculously expensive paywall so now I need to find an alternative that doesn't want to charge the price my soul (if i had one) every month

[orchideous-nox]

Thoughts on Quibbler's less common ships (like Seabunny!!)? :3

I've been here since before he was yapping about them publically, I was getting all this stuff in my DMs months ago so I've had a while to take in his headcanons and yapping.

That being said, I think I generally feel quite similarly to Alex but he is much more passionate while I appreciate them quietly because I'm still learning and figuring them out.

Anyway, I checked with him and these are the ships that Quib-bitch (< 3) wants me to talk about!

Seabunny - I really enjoy Igor as a character, I always thought he was interesting from what we know about him canonically, so I like the idea that Charity sees this guy and wants to find some good in him and bring out something that he's buried deep down perhaps, but is also just like "he's never going to be perfect, so I'll also just take him as being a piece of shit because he fucks good". He also likes that there isn't pressure to be who he is expected to be with her, he can be gentle without judgement if that's what he chooses.

Starrynight - I have less opinions about this ship. It took me a while to come around to seeing Severus as more than just how a majority of the fandom sees him. That being said, I do enjoy starrynight, I think they're two people who have a great appreciation for each other that spans throughout their school years and into their teacher years. Aurora is so cool to me, I lowkey love her and the way Alex drew her in his yearbook is like chef's kiss. I think they're two people who seem very 😐 to everyone else but they understand each other's tiny little intricacies that other people don't bother trying to learn.

Wiseprince - Okay this was the OG ship that Alex would yap to me about which made me be like "ohhhhh okay this could be cool". Edmund Jr is so closeted and he only lets himself accept that part of him when it's just him and Sev and even then he hates it and doesn't fully understand what the feelings are. They're an awkward mess of unarticulated angsty yearning and deep deep denial and for some reason I vibe with this dynamic.

Crownest - The cupboard scene in GoF. That is all. Like how can you watch those two in that film and not see two exes who are forced into being in the same place after years and spend most of their time talking shit about the other and glaring at each other. I don't see any tenderness between them, it's not some gentle fluffy love, it's low-key toxic and they're not in it for each other specifically, Severus doesn't sit there fantasizing about Igor and Igor isn't writing "Mr Igor Snape" in the margins of his notebooks.

Goldenshower - Sorry Alex, but if you're not coming up with a better ship name then I will continue to call them this. These two are not good for each other. There is a reason Gilderoy (my boy Roy) is the golden part of the ship and it's not all piss related. He doesn't want his reputation tarnished. Igor also doesn't want people thinking he's going to become someone like Gilderoy and actively teases him for being a pristine posh-boy. That being said, I think there is a dirty side of Gilderoy that he only lets out around Igor. But they're still not good for each other.

Aurora x Pandora - Alex hasn't come up with a ship name for these two yet so suffer with that. I feel very strongly about cosmiccreation (but this much is probably obvious on my blog), but I kinda fuck with this I think. Like I could vibe with this but there's not much content about them really.

If you want to know about any other ships specifically then let me know! I'm happy to yap, though my headcanons might be limited depending on ships because I base a lot of my knowledge about the Snape's Gang characters off Quibbler's posts and him yapping in my DMs (which I love, makes me feel special that I get some of this before it sees the light of day).

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Thinking about drunk Gilderoy hitting it up at the club to banger music and Igor shooting his shot to stand all close to him and whisper on his ear about how pretty he is,,,,

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Bro could we PLEASE get some non-piss Igor and/or Gilderoy?

I would like to state for the record that I never mentioned the piss again,,,, blame other anon not me

I’ve got another yap on Gilderoy in my drafts so I’ll save the individual stuff and feed the shippers lol

I do 100% believe Gilderoy would have a spray bottle to spray Igor with when he’s being too much

Igor is a very handy person and for the most part Gilderoy enjoys that

Muggle au Gilderoy had a very fancy, expensive car and while he’d let Igor fix it I doubt he’d let him drive it, at least not more than necessary

Igor finally getting to drive the car and he does that arm around the passenger seat while reserving thing 🤤

I feel like Gilderoy would enjoy playing dress up with Igor,,, like finding nicer outfits for him, getting him to use proper shampoo and conditioner rather than his 8-in-one lmao

Following that if they ever get to the point of being somewhat domestic (this is a very loose term, I’m thinking Igor staying over for more than five minutes after they fuck) I could see them enjoying long showers together. The shower in Igor’s apartment is broken half the time so he’s just in there soaking like a wet dog lmao

Lazy sofa cuddles,,, Gilderoy is reading a magazine and Igor is watching some stupid shit on the tv

I could see Gilderoy convincing Igor to pierce one of his ears idk why fjfnjcnf

Igor uses nicknames for Gilderoy most of the time cause I think he’d stumble slightly over having to pronounce Gilderoy but also he’s just a nickname person

Alright I think that’s all I can come up with for now cnncjcnf hopefully that’s more enjoyable than the “kink” that shall not be named lmao

[futurequibblerjournalist]

but gil who's tall and still has to bend on igor's cock,,, like igor's on the end of thebed and gils got his knees on the sheets facing him and hes being held by the ass,,, I am very drunk and very in love with these dummies

I don't know if I'm just stupid but I'm struggling to picture this position so bad,,, I consulted Katie and they couldn't quite figure it out either so,,,,

With this being an ask from when I got shitfaced I will say that I love that we were drunk and goldenshower yapping at the same time

[futurequibblerjournalist]

I need to hear about goldenshower fucking nasty in the club toilets and my boy roy is desperately trying not to touch anything because it's gross and sticky and "probably hasn't been cleaned properly in months"

I feel like this is what leads Igor to wrapping his hand around Gilderoy’s throat for the first time,,,, he’s not even necessarily choking him and if he is he’s not doing it particularly hard, but it’s enough support that Gilderoy can just hang there and cling to Igor’s forearm while he focuses on getting plowed and loving every second of it,,,,

He’s been so vocal until someone walks in and Igor doesn’t give a shit if someone hears them but Gilderoy does so he moved Igor’s hand up to cover his mouth,,,, if it was any other situation he’d be worried about where said hand had been too but Igor smells oddly good and he’s trying his hardest to stay quiet which just means he’s letting out small squeaks against Igor’s hand while going cross eyed cause there’s no way Igor is slowing down just cause someone walked in

[futurequibblerjournalist]

bring back goldenshower

Okay,, but actually,,, Igor being like “let’s go sailing” or something but they have such different ideas of what that means so while Gilderoy thinks they’re going on some fancy yacht where he can take cute photos for his Instagram and bask in the sun on the deck they’re actually going on a tiny boat that barely managed to stay afloat and Gilderoy spends the entire time foolishly thinking that the small boat is just taking them to the yacht

They’re so funny I’m sorry

[orchideous-nox]

will u pls tell us about how u c golden shower ???

Okay I have to actually put thought into it now rather than harass Alex about them 😅

I don't think they're romantically involved like at all, not even unrequited. It started off as a one time thing, they were drunk at a party and Gilderoy was complaining to someone about a relationship that just ended and how shit the sex was and Igor overheard this and corners him some time later where he offers to fuck him properly.

It becomes a regular thing, usually when they're drunk or bored or both. For Igor it's because he likes the idea of ruining the perfect exterior of the goldie-Lockhart, and for Roy he thinks Igor just isn't worth more than being someone to fuck. He has a big dick and knows how to use it so really it would be a waste not to.

Over time the sex gets rougher and they start exploring options that aren't just Igor bending him over or fucking him against the wall. Because everyone knows if you fuck them in bed it's serious, Igor told me so himself.

[futurequibblerjournalist]

fuck snape man GILDEROY is the one nutting to being called a total slut

Now this I could see, Igor would have no problem calling Gilderoy a slut, he already thinks he gets everything given to him, whether by his actual dad or a daddy lmaooo and Igor thinking Gilderoy gets everything because he’s a good hole (which he is, you cannot convince that man’s body isn’t heaven sent through and through) is so real to me

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Alright alright but could we get some more serious karkhart (LMFAO)? I'm low-key starting to actually get it now... My eyes have been opened

I don’t think these two fucks could EVER be serious but that’s kind of the fun of them yk??

Like Igor is the weird loser Gilderoy fucks on the dl and he’s keeping that secret with his life because he’s embarrassed but the dick is good lmao

Modern au Igor/Gilderoy and Igor is the sleazy looking mechanic and Gilderoy is there with his fancy car and Igor’s twirling his car keys around his finger teasing him by asking if daddy’s money bought the car cnnfncnfjf

He 100% calls Gilderoy Goldilocks too,,

They’re just so silly I can’t