#ignore this if it's stupid

[happenssweet]

i think people who blame patrick for tashi's knee injury completely miss what's so important about her getting it.

the point isn't that she was distracted, or that she was upset. because that didn't matter. not in terms of what happened.

what's so jarring about that moment, the reason people gasp when they first see it, is not just the fact that she's injured herself. it's the way it's so unexpected.

after that fight, i think a lot of people may have anticipated her playing poorly, even losing her match. or maybe the exact opposite, a different type of ferocity in her playing. no one i've ever talked to or watched the movie with expected that.

and that's because it's a borderline perfect portrayal of sports injuries. yes, extenuating circumstances can contribute to being more reckless. but what's horrifying about injuries like a torn acl or meniscus isn't just that they happen.

it's that they happen out of nowhere. an athlete can be at their prime, playing the most perfect game of their career, but if they have one misstep, if they plant their foot wrong once, if they lock their knee involuntarily, hell, if they just focus too hard on their target, everything can fall to pieces in a second.

in my opinion, the point of her injury and that scene specifically is not that patrick caused it. i don't think he did. it's that when it happens, directly after that fight, you can almost tell exactly what's going to happen next. because we just saw a battle of pride. and now the one thing tashi is proudest of, the one thing she could hold over patrick in a way that could actually break through his facade, is gone.

now, a lot of athletes can recover from a knee injury with a surgery and proper physical therapy. especially when they're as young as tashi was. she probably knew that. but when patrick comes back after everything, she's not operating on reason. she hasn't been for hours.

to me, the fight didn't precipitate the injury. only the breakup. tashi is incredibly skilled, we know this because it's pointed out at every possible moment. at that level, a college match could be played practically on muscle memory. it's the shock of the suddenness, of the immediate tragedy, that pushes fear into her mind. and it was in those moments of terror that tashi probably decided it was easier to blame patrick than to come to terms with the fact that it was a freak accident that destroyed her future.

we don't get to see much of tashi's process of acceptance, and i think that's because, in part, it's something that is so incredibly difficult to even wrap your head around from an outside perspective, much less write, direct, or act. in a single moment, this girl, this college freshman, has had her life, or at least what she dreamed it would be, pulled out from under her, with no hope of recovering it.

it's on that court, on that exam table, that fear becomes something that begins to rule tashi. we don't see that in her before that day. but after, it's always present, lurking just beneath the surface of the attitude she needs to keep up to feel like herself. we see it at the applebee's. we see it in both hotel lobbies. we see it after she tells art she'll leave him. and we see it in the patrick's car.

because of one single misstep, fear is underwritten in each and every thing she does and says. it's the same fear that forces patrick away, and it's the same fear that lets him keep coming back.

and it's so evident because we see fear in art and patrick before that day. they each have different motivators, but there are clear moments when we can see them feeling it. it's not until something in her knee pops and devastates her career that fear seeps into her decision making as well.

i have personal experience with an extremely talented athlete sustaining a serious knee injury. when tashi jokes about art thinking she'd kill herself after it happened, they both laugh (albeit awkwardly), and the scene moves on. but it's not something you can joke about until long after. because, yes, when something so unexpected, something so abruptly sickening happens, one of the first concerns is how that athlete comes to terms with what's happened. with the randomness of it.

again, we only see a small part of how she deals with it in the aftermath. outwardly, sarcasm. in private, in her own mind, it's something significantly more desperate. and then, as we watch the way fear begins to guide her actions, we can begin to grasp how that moment rewired her.

there are many reasons she may have for cheating with patrick. one, i believe, is that he was her life pre-injury. he stopped being a part of it the moment it happened, so when he shows back up, it's an escape. she doesn't need to listen about her fiancé's stats, or how the girl she beat at the junior open is dominating women's tennis. because that first night back with patrick, she probably got to be that girl again. the one who dominated on and off the court, confidence unshakeable.

so no, i don't think the fight between tashi and patrick in her dorm affected her physical performance on the court that day. because if there's a highly influential external factor, it undermines the potency of the way she immediately tries to deflect by finding one, as well as the way it guides each and every one of her actions after. it's easy to blame patrick because she tries to at first, even if she does slowly come to terms with the chance of it all. we're told the match was her's before it even started. over and over again we are told so explicitly that there was nothing and no one that could shake tashi duncan.

and there isn't. not until she shakes herself.

[mychemicalbrromance]

Guys ive been reading peak

[callisteios]

i made a character uquiz. i 100% promise you that you will get a character you know AND like

[frootertooter]

I had a vision hit me and had to drop everything to doodle it

Enjoy

[blueskittlesart]

Dear Big Brother

kind of a sequel to this comic

[time-woods]

some bill interactions forfuns

ft @/ spoonyspinee @/ auminiii and @/ mugztwoo bills

[meatgrinder-0]

[lilygilded]

feed the men.

[kingkrillin]

just need to share how much I dislike this post lol

people will fully expect trans men to put ourselves on the line for everyone else and meanwhile the only time they acknowledge our existence is to talk about how "low risk" we are (obviously untrue) or to volunteer us out as a community for potentially dangerous activist endeavors that they wouldn't risk doing themselves

"we need to get uncomfortable!" and what's actually being discussed is convincing a subset of the community to be uncomfortable on your behalf while you do nothing to show solidarity with us

[deadmaidclub]

sorry. cant stop thinking about this

bonus stupidity round:

[cozy-the-overlord]

Me when I saw that snoozing tumblr live now works for 30 days instead of 7: 😀

Me when I saw that snoozing tumblr live no longer removes its icon from the bottom bar AND that there’s no way to make the little “NEW” pop up go away either: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

[friendzoned61]

Alternate ending to my ectoimplosion art.

Reminder to read the fic by @echoghost1 they just rattle around my head all day 😔

[shepscapades]

Posted to Twitter for the first time in 5 years /silly DSFGNFGB So here’s my atttempt at a more finished piece, inspired by Doc’s newest episode :D

Actually recorded a short timelapse for this one too, so that’s below the cut :D

[proxythe]

aki cussing ppl out over the phone is like a sweet sweet lullaby <3

[katamarv1]

Maybe the size 2 fish was the Gabriel we fought along the way…

[lesbians4aerith]

when the turnabout says goodbye or something idk