#ignore the weeds on my patio lol

[stepfordgoth]

My cats are actually the most ABSOLUTELY USELESS "garden protectors" ever. They just sit and watch as rabbits go around my garden and do whatever they please. Like. Come ON lads you literally only have one job!!!!

[twilightakiishi]

VENNNNUUUUSSSSSS AAAAAAAAA 🫂🫂🫂🤍 I HAVE SELFSHIP QUESTIONS !!!! you and endo. who fell for the other first and how did that happen?? AND FOR THE SECOND ONE OOOO. sooo. you two are at target!! they close for the day and the two of you are somehow locked inside …. oopsie … so what now ? what are you guys gonna do ?! eat … play with the toys … check out the games … sleep ?!

hi evie 😭🖤 tysm for asking :') this got insanely long so going utc…..

ok so!! with me and endo, he falls first and I fall harder :') but I take a while to open up about it !! it's just how I am I'm afraid.... anyway! very romantic love story we have.....drug dealer -> fwb -> lovers LOL. when we started hooking up, we both agreed, no feelings! we'd link, get what we needed, and leave. it went that way for a while! like a few months. when endo started to fall for me, he kinda just assumed it was the weed talking and making him feel all fuzzy when he was around me, so he ignored it. until one night, he came over to my place and smoked me out for hours, we fucked freak nasty style and passed out immediately after, and he woke up in the morning, sober, and felt butterflies seeing me in the bed next to him. he did not wait to tell me but I didn't believe him and thought he was fucking with me for like a month straight 😭 it takes him calling me his girlfriend in front of takiishi for me to be like :0 u fr? and he's like YES I'M FR WTF !!!!!! and the rest is history <3

and in target, I get super panicky to be locked inside. the fact i can’t sleep in my cozy bed stresses me out but i try to hide it and put on a brave face but i’m not good at it and he sees right through me!!!! he distracts me by playing house, puts on a frilly apron and “grills” beef jerky on a display bbq pit, in the little summer backyard patio display section in the back of the store,,,, he has me sit down and serves me little jerky strips while he’s yapping and making quips about what a nice day it is to be barbecuing :’) he’s such a cutie. n then after we eat little makeshift meals that he put together out of random pantry items, he can tell i’m feeling a little better, rubs a hand on my knee to reassure me a lil more. suggests a fashion show! picks out clothes he wants to see me in and shoves me in the dressing rooms. claps and cheers so loud it echoes n it makes me giggle. once he gets me smiling and laughing he feels content. spends most of the night trying to distract me n make sure i’m comfortable— the display beds are so uncomfortable it makes us laugh and we hardly even sleep. it ends up being a rly unexpected bonding experience for us <3 :’)

[foramomentonly]

Stoner Malex Ficlet--12.13

Author’s Note: So, this is a series now, I guess lol. I’ll be writing little ficlets within the Stoner Malex AU, each one based on a promo photo from Vlambase IG. The title of each ficlet will be the date the picture that inspired it was posted, plus I’ll include a link. Hope you enjoy!

 Inspo photo

Read on AO3

The wheel of the lighter snicks three times as Michael flicks it, but no flame ignites. He tsks softly and shakes it, tries again, but his fingers feel thick and clumsy; no go. He glances over at Alex beside him on the couch, flipping with little interest through one of Mrs. Evans's magazines, but he doesn't look up, tired and a little dazed from his shift at the Crashdown. He's still in his cuffed, white work pants, but he pulled on one of Michael's countless hoodies the moment he walked into Michael's room, hating the garish turquoise and crisp white collar of his work shirt. Michael's cheeks flush at the sight of Alex Manes in an item of his own clothing, and he vows never to tell Alex that he actually loves the contrast of his uniform's bright blue against the warm tone of Alex's skin. Assuming Alex would even be interested in that kind of information. Michael intends to find out today.

Three weeks. It's been three weeks since Alex slid into his lap, shotgunned a hit of the truly awful shit Michael had bought off Wyatt Long in a pinch, and fulfilled a deeply erotic fantasy Michael had only recently admitted to harbouring. He'd expected it to be a one off; an itch Alex conveniently and safely scratched born of circumstance and boredom. But a few days later, Michael discovered Rosa in Iz’s room, painting his sister's toenails and smirking at him with her twinkling, mischievous eyes, and when Michael returned to the refuge of his patio, Alex was sitting in his chair.

"I brought you the good stuff, Guerin," he said with a sly smile, holding up a baggie with two joints and a Bic lighter as Michael stood uselessly beside him with his mouth open. Alex bit his lip and gestured to his own lap. "Your turn this time."

Even since that day, Alex shows up with Rosa, and always he seeks Michael out on his dingy patio like the smell of skunk weed and sunlight is a beacon calling him home. Sometimes Alex drops into the lawn chair Michael dug out of storage in the Evans's garage for him after Alex's third visit and they talk, or get high, or even do homework. Other times, Alex comes up behind him and runs his fingers through Michael's curls, blunt nails dragging down his scalp, and Michael stands, follows Alex back into his own bedroom, and spends the next few hours pressed against him, grasping and bucking, Alex's panted breathes hot and wet against Michael's mouth. 

But they don’t talk about what they’re doing, what they are to each other. They don’t make plans for next time, although at this point Michael is almost always certain it will come. Alex exists almost as a mirage; a beautiful, nearly tangible fantasy that feels so real in the moment, but after the fact has the effect of a dream, lucid and lingering on the tip of his tongue. Michael isn't even sure how much either Rosa or Isobel knows until they bust in on him one afternoon, sucking Alex down like his dick is a popsicle. It's awkward in the moment, but ultimately they're supportive.

Since then, Michael and Alex have expanded the radius of their relationship to the Evans’s family room, a multipurpose space at the back of the house, cluttered and well-used, but still meticulously decorated. It’s where they are this Sunday afternoon, packed close together despite the empty expanse of the couch, Alex lounging in the corner, bare feet on the cushion and legs splayed wide, and Michael beside him, leaning forward with a candle in one hand and the finicky lighter in the other. Rosa and Isobel are tucked on the love seat together, Isobel’s nose still wrinkled in distaste.

“Light a damn candle,” she’d complained when they’d shuffled into the room, “you smell like a Radiohead concert.”

Michael isn't sure if it's his nerves or the cheap, gas station lighter that's to blame, but it takes him five rounds of flicking and shaking before the thing finally sparks a small flame, and he can tip the nearly spent candle in his hand horizontal, holding the wick to the flame until it catches alight. He sets the candle on the low coffee table in front of him and wipes his palms on his black jeans, fingers snagging in the tears of the worn denim. He wonders hysterically if raggedly jeans and an oversized, novelty tee-shirt really send strong date me vibes, but pushes the thought aside and takes a deep, steadying breath.

“Alex,” Michael says softly, and Alex hums questioningly in response.

“You wanna come with me tonight?”

“Where’re you going?” Alex asks distantly, not quite disengaging from the magazine on his knee.

Michael shrugs, faking casual, and licks his lips.

“Restaurant. Movie theatre.” He raises his eyebrows suggestively and smirks when Alex looks up at him, his full attention finally won. “Bed of my truck, maybe.”

From the opposite corner of the room, Rosa snorts.

“You sure know how to woo a guy,” she laughs, and Isobel chuckles, runs her fingers through Rosa’s hair and chides gently, “Go easy on him. It’s his first real crush.”

"I don't remember inviting you or your commentary into this," Michael snaps, but there's no heat to his words. He turns back to Alex and finds himself the subject of Alex's inscrutable stare, his dark eyes like wide, bottomless pools.

"Like a date," Alex states. "You want to date me."

Michael tries to ignore Isobel and Rosa gawking openly at them, their gazes hot on the back of his neck. 

"Yeah, I do, man," Michael replies, looks up at Alex from under his lashes and lets a curl fall into his eyes for good measure; he knows his own strengths, knows by now what makes Alex's breath come quicker, or not at all.

Alex smiles wide, sets the tip of his tongue between his bared teeth.

"Okay," he says simply, then leans forward to whisper low in Michael's ear, "You think I walk around in just anyone's sweatshirt?"

Michael's lips stretch into what he's sure is a deeply stupid grin as Alex settles back against the arm of the couch with a smirk and returns to his magazine, though he's clearly not reading a word. Isobel and Rosa snicker and coo, and Michael pretends not to hear them.

"Candle's out again," Alex says lightly, and Michael looks down at the table, where the wick is, in fact, dead, exhaling a thin, trickly ribbon of black smoke.

"Shit," Michael murmurs, and reaches again for the lighter, jar already in hand.

[wolfie180g]

had a cop called on me today

long ass rant ahead

so I had a cop come by today, not for anything big or important, no, my old crabby neighbor didn’t want me to spray the weeds growing in my driveway. that’s it. no wind, no spraying on her side of the driveway. she is just bored with dementia and paranoid I’m out to ‘get her.’ i could care less if she lives or dies tbh, she’s been a total b word for decades to everyone in the neighborhood. my biggest complaint is shes also growing frickin TREES in-between the driveways making it impossible for me to park in my own driveway without backing in, which she doesn't like me doing either... smh. (my driveway is already narrow with the house pretty close to it and it wouldn’t be a problem if there weren’t trees and railroad ties right as you step out of the car. I’ve tripped on them dozens of times but no one cares about dangerous trip hazards i guess) she also called the cops on me for years for trimming said trees back from over the property line because they were scratching my car and being a nuisance. i never went over the property line. a straight vertical line of cuts from ground to the heavens lol cops are doing nothing to stop her harassing me, calling me names, vandalizing my property, littering, trespassing, harassing my guests, pulling up my plants, inviting people to my backyard to hang out? wtf? damaging my fence when one of her 40+ trees dropped on it, and accusing me of nearly all of the above even though i don’t ever talk to her, look at her, step foot on her property, or even acknowledge her presence whatsoever. i think my inaction is pissing her off even more than if i retaliated. fml i had to buy security cameras for some peace of mind, but the previous cops refused to look at the footage and evidence or take it seriously. so, today, i knew she was getting all riled up again from my ignoring her and continuing to calmly spray my driveway, (the nozzle never going over a foot off the ground) i got in my car to move it to spray the part underneath and she ran inside her house. i knew she was calling them so I went across the street and invited a fellow neighbor over to just sit and watch me and make sure she doesn’t escalate things without a witness. my good neighbor has had a beef with her for decades and was all to happy to take a break from his own yard work and chat with me for a bit about the type of weed killer i was using and what would be effective. cop came by of course, talked to her for a good ten minutes while i chatted with my good neighbor, came over and looked so apologetic to me and annoyed at her calling him here for a bs reason. i greeted him and was amiable with the cop, told my side, which he saw for himself as i had been spraying my driveway even as he talked to her. i mentioned i was saving up for a tall privacy fence, he looked relieved af and understanding to my situation- dealing with a b-word all the time- but he was clearly trying not to take sides and failing at it lol. i loved the guy immediately and felt so bad that he had to waste his time and ours for normal property upkeep. she didn’t make another appearance and i was able to finish my driveway, sidewalk, patio etc, mow and rake the debris from the storm a few nights ago. she lost again and i’m sure is stewing on it even now. convinced I paid off the cop and everyone’s out to get her. i’m just so tired of her bs. so flipping tired. all i want to do is have a decent looking yard, driveway and house. working on it on my day off with the sun shining and weather is nice. god frickin forbid i spray my own driveway to get rid of the plants growing in the pea-gravel. i am the devil incarnate. I want to just ask her, of all the times shes called the cops on me, or gone down to the station, how many times that has succeeded? cause I’ve not once had to pay a fine, or do time. because I am literally not breaking any laws. she is breaking ALL the damn laws. I want peace. is that too much to ask? I am already ignoring all the hate she’s spewing and violence to me and mine, waiting for her to shuffle off this mortal coil already cause it’s obvious she’s not enjoying life at all. and she sure as shit isn’t going to get what she wants. a villain so she can be a victim for real instead of inside her head. Ma said that in her mind, I am doing all the shit she accuses me of because she knows that she would (and is) doing it. my head hurts. I just wanna be left alone when I’m outside. Mom comes over to scare her off because even the presence of one other person is enough to detour her most days. too many witnesses. lol not all the time though, sadly, when she’s in a mood, she’s cussing everyone out and breaking things.

[swagcomputerzombie-blog]

Forage In The Backyard, Not In What's Left Of The Wild

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[brimmsedge]

Dream: Unbroken Shores

The dream starts, I’m walking through the mall. I’m near a giant fountain. Not a rustic, marble one with angels. No, this one was futuristic. Shiny chrome, steel, edges and structures. It had beads hanging from the ceiling with mirrors on them. The water didn’t just overflow out the top. There was something graceful about the flow of water.  I walk into an energy shop. The Wicca ones with crystals, sage, candles, potions, other ingredients and incenses. I walk to the back door. Except it’s a piece of cloth, not a door. Hey, some details matter.  After I open, or swoosh aside, the last cloth. I make it to my therapist’s office. Behind the chair outside there’s a patio and beautiful clear water. A large lake that channels into a river. Lush green trees and brush coating the land masses that sprout from the water. I take a seat knowing I’m late. She’s talking to a friend. Strange. I don’t remember her being this young and attractive. After awhile more people come in and we all begin talking like close friends. Small dumb talk. Silly jokes. But there’s no awkward phase. Just all comfortable. Familiar. The room fills with laughter and even my therapist and I are bonding. But I’m no longer a patient, just friends. They begin to pass weed around. Spreading the good vibes. I pass. And notice it feels more like a drug house than a therapist session.  That empty house full of unsupervised kids. Not much furniture. The place kids meet to do drugs. More and more people show up. A few have dyed hair. Pink, blue, violet. Teenagers. I don’t worry. But the thought of the Woman being at a place like this was unsettling. 

My mind ignores her and we keep the good vibes going. My new friends give me a nickname. Queue. Or Q. Not sure why. And we eventually go outside to the patio. The breeze is strong and tosses my hair around like the wind is using it as an art medium. Trying to find the right shade. I notice large, shark-like Beta fish in the water. Colorfully filled in the clear water. So beautiful. I convince them to jump in. They said they wouldn’t unless I did. So I did. jumping in was easy. No thoughts, no worries of the water depths or seaweed, or even cold water.  I just did it. The water was much like the fountain. Less dense. Flowed easier. Pure. We played in the water. In most cases, I’d find the most attractive girl or guy and flirt with them. But even in my dream, I don’t think I could betray her. I just bond with friends.  They notice me thinking. Everyone is quiet and staring.  The sky flashes a red and I blink.  We go back inside. I find my uncle there and my cousin. It’s her birthday and he made her some weird car toy. He likes to make things. But she’s like 17 now. He’s acting like she’s a kid again. The rest is a blur. I drop down a dream level to explore.  And another level. I begin to get chased and I jump back to my level. There was an alley in China, and some corporate building. White. Shiny. Fancy.  Then I woke up after I went through the last butthole shaped portal. It wasn’t a butthole. But it reminded me of one. The portal wrinkled and folded in on itself. Being smaller in the center than the outer. Space and time bent and overlapped. Not sure why I was thinking of butts lol