#ignore the names i got them from a name generator cuz naming things is hard

[ksolars-kreative-korner]

Silver Shield - Part 1

So I saw a prompt somewhere (don't have the reference anymore) where it was like "villain gives hero a drug that paralyzes them but they're still aware and hands them over to sidekick who just thinks they're unconscious, what does sidekick do? help them? betray them?" so I took that and kinda put my own spin on it. I think it turned out pretty okay and didn't know where to post it so I thought I'd drop it here. Also if I should tag anything else let me know! Hope you enjoy!

Part 2 Part 3

“It’s in here somewhere, I’m sure of it,” Gecko said frantically, weaving their way around the boxes littering the warehouse floor.

“I trust you, Gecko,” Silver Shield reassured. “You know that, right? If you say Viktorai is hiding here, I believe you.” They continued on, and after a brief silence Silver spoke up again. “We should split up. This place is huge, and if we’re looking for a secret entrance it could take us a while. Stay in contact with the comms at all times. Viktorai could be anywhere, so be on your guard. And Gecko?” he said, grasping their shoulder and turning them to face him. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay?” Gecko gave a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of their neck.

“I won’t,” they said. Underneath their embarrassment, Silver could see how nervous they were. That was understandable. If they were right, this might be the end of it, once and for all. He gave a confirming nod and a comforting squeeze to their shoulder.

“I’ll go left, you go right, we’ll meet at the back,” he said before slipping off between the walls of crates.

The boxes had been arranged in odd clusters and patterns, more a maze than easy rows, so it took about two seconds before Silver couldn’t see Gecko anymore. He made his way carefully, quietly, always on the lookout for trouble, whispering into his comm and listening for his sidekick’s response. A staticky, garbled voice hissed inside his ear, punctuated by heavy breaths.

“Silver, I think – I think I found it! It’s over by the – wait, it’s opening… it’s him, it’s Vik—” The comms cut off.

There was a scream from across the room.

Throwing caution out the window, Silver rushed around the crates, trying to find his way towards the sound of his sidekick in danger. He finally made it to a small clearing in the endless walls of boxes, and the sight of the limp form in the middle made his blood run cold.

“Gecko,” he gasped, lunging forwards to drop to their side. “Gecko, are you okay? Please be okay, come on, you can’t do this to me now.” He was so focused on his sidekick that he never heard the soft footsteps coming up behind him. The cold pinprick of the needle in his neck was the only warning he had that someone else was there. Silver spun around and came face to face with Viktorai. He growled and tried to leap up at the villain, but his limbs didn’t respond like they usually did. They felt heavy and awkward, and try as he might Silver couldn’t control them. Soon enough, he was lying on the floor, gasping for breath.

I’m sorry, Gecko, he thought. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry I failed.

Viktorai stood above him, laughing at his feeble struggles. “I wouldn’t fight it too much, if I were you,” he said. “The sedative will put you out quickly, no matter what you do. I engineered it myself.” He suddenly grinned. “But of course, I never would have captured you if it weren’t for my loyal assistant Dagger. I suppose you’d know them better by a different name, though, wouldn’t you? What was it you called them? Oh, yes. Gecko.”  

No. No, it couldn’t be. But there they were, standing beside Viktorai, looking down at him with no emotion. Silver tried to speak, but all that came out was a groan. His eyes were closing against his will and he finally gave himself over to the sedative, head lolling to rest on the ground. Gecko worked for Viktorai. He couldn’t believe that, couldn’t believe that his sidekick of three years, three years, would do this. How could he not have seen this coming? And wasn’t he supposed to be unconscious right now? Though Silver couldn’t move, he could still feel the cold floor under him and hear the villains’ voices.

“Good work, Dagger. You did well.”

“Thank you, master.” A moment’s pause.

“I have a gift for you that I think you’ll like.” Silver could hear the smirk in Viktorai’s voice. “You get to kill him.” Another silence.

“Are you sure, master? You’ve waited a long time to get him in your power. You’re willing to let me deal the final blow?”

“Oh, yes. I think you deserve it after spending so much time with the wretch. It must’ve been torture, always having to ‘do the right thing’ and ‘stand up for the good of the people.’ Ugh. Just, do something terrible to him for me, alright? Cut his fingers off or gouge out his eyes or something. Other than that, as long as he’s dead I’m happy. He’ll wake up in about eight hours, but I’ll give you the whole day off so you can do whatever you like to him. Be back at the lab tomorrow evening. The city is almost ours, Dagger, and no one can stop us now! Now, go grab what you need and get him out of here,” Viktorai finished, chuckling a little to himself. Gecko’s – no, Dagger’s – footsteps echoed around the chamber as they left to go get who-knows-what kind of torture tools. Silver felt Viktorai still above him, and suddenly a voice hissed in his ear.

“I know you’re still aware, hero.” He spat the last word out like a curse. “I engineered the serum myself, remember? A mix of muscle relaxants, paralytics, and a few other choice ingredients. Dagger gets the pleasure of killing you, but I get the pleasure of knowing you’ll feel every last bit of pain. I wonder how they’ll go about it. Torture? Drowning? Maybe just a simple bullet to the head. Whatever they do, you’ll know you died at the hands of your most trusted friend. How does that feel?” Viktorai caressed Silver’s cheek with a cold hand. “Goodbye forever, Silver Shield. I’ll be sure to raise a statue in your honour when I rule the city.” He drew his hand back, and Silver was left alone on the floor of the warehouse, helpless, unable to move or make a sound.

[scripted-pleasures]

Fourth Wing Review

1.5-2/5 stars

I would like to thank everything for giving me the strength to finish this book. It took less than a week and 14.5 pages of notes but we're done! To put it bluntly, this book was bad. Like, garbage. After talking about it for a while I get so angry that I lose the ability to form rational thought anymore. Anyways, I hope this is entertaining and/or informative! This will be hidden cuz it's a long one!

I would like to start off by saying that even though I don’t agree with the general rating of the book, I can say that I see how people enjoy this book. If this is a first fantasy book for someone, it makes an ok low barrier to entry for the genre. I think this would be mid-fantasy? I will say I wasn’t a fan of the romance, even if Yarros took her time and saved the Big Bang for way too late in the book to try to ‘flesh out’ the connection. (Spoiler alert: it was wack). For better or worse, I’m a lore person so in terms of a meaningful story with solid characters, plot, and setting, it’s no more than a 2. I do have to give credit where it’s due, and there were some parts that I enjoyed (mainly Tairn) and if I wasn’t going into this so critically, I’d give this a solid 3. The story is fine, though it is full of contradictions and weird sentences that are hard to ignore even if I was reading for fun. Violet was more interesting at the beginning of the book and things got kind of jumbled together toward the middle whenever the focus wasn’t on how horny Violet was for Xaden. The flying scenes were fun when they were actually written out. As for characters, Tarin is the best by far, no competition. I know that was bland but that’s how I felt if you wanted a short review if I was reading for fun. Honestly, this book is nothing to write home about.

 Though, I am home, and I will be writing about it, so here’s the full 2 star (more like 1.5) review:

A major non-in universe problem with this book is the use of Scottish Gaelic words/names that are being bastardized. The name of the college, dragons, and some characters’ last names use Scottish Gaelic that, as confirmed by Yarros, are not pronounced properly and are instead pronounced however she finds easiest. There are wonderful creators on TikTok that have read the book and know of/speak Scottish Gaelic that air their own grievance on her use of the language and are a wonderful source of how to properly pronounce the names/words in the book. I urge all who read this to check them out.

Anyways.

I absolutely love the fact that Yarros is actively not following the rules that she set up! 

The earliest show of this is on page 21 where there’s a quote from ‘Major Afrenda’s Guide to the Riders Quadrant’ that says “there’s a misconception that it’s kill or be killed in the Quadrant unless there’s a dragon shortage or a cadet is a liability”. A similar rule is found on page 27 where the Codex states that ‘it’s unlawful for a rider to cause another harm.’ Both of these rules are broken literally on the Parapet where Jack, an antagonist, throws someone into the ravine below and suffered no consequences. Jack also killed someone in training for funsies and nothing came of that either. Most importantly, there isn’t a shortage of dragons, there’s too many riders. The school says rider candidates volunteer yet make no moves to control the amount of applicants when they know the amount of dragons willing to bond in advance.

There was the rule that states cadets with rebel relics can’t be in groups of 3 or more, otherwise it’ll be seen as a capital offense (pg 77) though Xaden tells the group to travel in 3s

On pages 159, Violet was surprised that Jack knew information about feathertails and wondered where he got the information despite spewing the same information earlier in the book

Violet wanted to get Jack angry so that he makes mistakes in the match (pg 293) despite this plan backfiring on her against Imogen earlier in the book

On page 356, Violet is given her saddle and says “When did I ever give you the impression that I give a fuck what people think of me?” even though the page before she was bemoaning how people are going to know that she can’t keep her seat (despite her falling a dozen times every lesson)

Minor thing, but on page 475 Violet is trying to keep Liam on Taiwan’s back even though her shoulder got messed up earlier in the fight though that wasn’t brought up again

Okay, this isn’t a specific pinpoint but it looks like Bás Giath is the military, college, the national archives, and also the church….? That’s not very clear which is a problem

Other than the inconsistencies, Yarros has a bad habit of telling, not showing and even not writing or acknowledging whole scenes. This is shown on page 310 where Sgaeyl, Tairn, and Andarna are supposed to train together with Violet and Xaden. At this point we had seen Tairn and Xaden interact, Violet/Tairn/Andarna, and a wee bit of Xaden and Sgaeyl but not Violet and Sgaeyl or Xaden and Andarna, let alone all of them together. This lost scene along with the majority of the Squad Battle on the next page, mind you misses an incredible amount of character interaction and growth that this book desperately needs. This story also lacks depth in any place outside of Bás Giath/Violet which can be seen in the beginning and toward the end. The furthest back this story goes is 5 years when the Sorrengails moved to Bás Giath and there’s no mention of their life before that. Like, even a little bit. Toward the end when Mira, Violet, and Rhinonnan go to Rhi’s village, the interaction with the family is completely cut out, focusing only on a conversation between the Sorrengails. We do get to see that Rhinonnan has a nephew and that’s as far as the meeting of the main character’s ‘best friend’s’ family goes before they run into Xaden as soon as they step outside. Fantasy really isn’t the type of genre where things are secular if there’s no good reason for it for which this story has none. Quite literally nothing happens in this book and I have no idea how this story will stretch across 5 books. I had a Science Fair project once where the project was to watch paint dry in various conditions and that was somehow more interesting and full of substance than this book.

Extra tidbit: The fact that she wrote white guilt into this story, was willfully ignorant of the idea that an oppressed people would want to revolt and side with the ‘enemy’ (aka. The only people who are willing to stand up against their oppressors), and thinking that any sort of militaristic choices are made ‘for the good of the people’ while War College actively tries to kill the students fills me with so much rage. This book is huge on social media, meaning tons of people are being exposed to these views where the book says these are the morals of the characters you’re supposed to root for. Dangerous and irresponsible. There’s also the fact that Xaden and Rhinannon, both of whom are noted as darker/dark-skinned the whole book are hyper-sexualized, feeding into stereotypes, shows that Yarros and her editing team (if she has one), have never met anyone darker than a cafe-au-lait and it shows.

All in all, I rate this a 1.5-2 out of 5 stars. The only reason why I don’t rate this lower is because there were moments where I did have fun and there were flashes of what this could be. Had I not been reading this as critically as I was or read only fantasy/sci-fi books, I could see the appeal for this. Unfortunately, Yarros might give new readers the impression this is how fantasy, beginner or not, is supposed to be and that’s a disservice to the genre. I’m almost 100% sure Yarros has no plans for this story/universe because Fourth Wing can’t stand on its own, answers no questions, and brings no inquiries. I’m happy for the people who like this book, really, but this isn’t the best it can be and I hope you find actual literature after this.

[sungbeam]

here to flood your inbox with the questions✨

BUT HI DUCKIE MEIMEI 💗

3, 4, 9, 15, 18, 19, 21, 23, (IM SO SORRY FOR STEALING SO MANY NUMBERS BUT THESE QUESTIONS ARE SO GOOD), 28, 29, and 34

signing off with love

- ash

ash jie !!!! tysm for ur ask ^_^ and omg ty for the influx of numbers hehe <3

fanfic writer asks

3. What's been your most popular fic this year?

oh it was definitely my beomgyu drabble mine !! it was the fic that got me a ton of my followers and it's my first post to reach 1k and 2k+ notes which was super exciting :')

4. What piece of writing are you most proud of?

find my answer to #4 here!

9. What's a scene you wrote this year that you're particularly proud of?

hmm kind of a hard question cuz sometimes i think i'm a genius and other times i think a scene just doesn't work 😭😭 but ,,, i'll say i remember being super satisfied w lost at sea the pilot episode/chapter for my *cough* unfinished riptide!mark lee series ha,, haha

15. Are there are other writers or artists who have inspired you?

OH MY GOD SO MANY (´Д⊂ヽ i'm just gonna name drop :') @ethereal-engene ofc, @loveliestfelix @korijime @jaehunnyy @leejungchans @goldenhypen @/maijunejuly @petrichor-han @tranquilpetrichor @justalildumpling @polarisjisung @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l probs many more as well ksfbkenf but thank u all for being such amazing people who light up my dms and dashboard and make me want to keep writing and dreaming :')

18. Do you have a fic that you wish received more attention?

lmao a few tbh so i'll recommend a few 😁

— cruel summer (kim seungmin)

— the cage (yoon jeonghan)

— in all your endeavors, forever (kim hongjoong)

— 11:22am (jung sungchan)

19. What was your favorite comment, or piece of feedback this year?

definitely has to be ash jie's full review of in all your endeavors forever like having a whole post dedicated to a very through review of MY OWN fic just,,, omg it just made my day fr like woah mind-blown yk? so thank u sm jie :'( 💖

but in general, any feedback or comment just makes me so warm and fuzzy and excited !! once, someone told me they came back from the dead to remind people that i was one of the best writers here and tbh i could cry 😭😭😭 ??

21. Not a question, but a challenge! Say something nice about your writing!

*panics* UHM!! i,,, like that i've been improving in the description department? idk bro (´Д⊂ヽ like i'm trying to be more patient with my descriptions and i def have some work to do w solving my white room syndrome, but i think i'm getting better w touchy feely emotional things lol

23. What fic did you enjoy writing the most?

i actually really enjoyed writing the fics with crack/humor in them a lot! i write a lot of angst and i do enjoy writing that too, but i also love writing banter sm

will specifically mention this jungwon fic and this nct dream fic tho

28. What is your favorite story or chapter title you came up with this year?

OOH !!! uhhhhh i really like "cruel mercy" (wip), "bird hunt" (wip), and "dear chan, have you ever been in love before?"

29. What was the funniest comment or piece of feedback that you received?

AHAHHAHA when i posted the one beomgyu drabble for my october mini series, almost all the reblogs were talking abt how tf were those cheesy pickup lines attractive 💀🤡 tbh only beomgyu could make corny ass pick up lines attractive but yuh ✨ also whenever em rbs my stuff, she's so funny sjfnejfbj like i once posted a fic at 2am and she rb'd w smth like wait y aren't u asleep beam (ignoring the fact that she was also not asleep 💀)

34. What's the weirdest thing you researched for a fic?

LMAOO i don't think i remember half the things i google while in the moment tbh 🤣 but i vividly remember going down the rabbit hole of cheerleader positions and stunts for this one wip bc idk what any of that cheer stuff is called (´Д⊂ヽ and i think soon i'm gonna need to spiral down the dance rabbit hole too @_@ like figuring out waltzes and tangos and what that one dance intak did for isac :')

[ackalice]

Hiiiiiii how are ya?? :D Been a while, sorry I've been sucked into another fandom lol Anyways I found this and thought: why not ask my fren! :3 Here's an ask thing

1. who's your favorite oc?

2. who was your first oc?

3. how many ocs do you have?

4. have you kept all of your

ocs since the beginning?

5. are any of your ocs based

off of a show/book you like?

if so, who?

6. what is the species of the

majority of your ocs?

7. are any of your ocs an

original species? if so,

what's the species and who?

8. if you can, draw (oc name)!

9. write a few sentences as

(oc name)!

10. are any of your ocs part

of a story? if so, what is it

about and who's in it?

11. do you have any twin ocs?

12. are any of your ocs

siblings?

13. what is the gender of the

majority of your ocs?

14. make up a new oc right now

based on (concept/show/color/

etc.)!

15. would you ever give up any

of your ocs?

16. who is your oldest oc

(age-wise)?

17. have you ever roleplayed

as your ocs?

18. how many of your ocs were

adopted from someone else?

19. who is your least favorite

oc?

20. which oc do you think has

changed the most since you

made them?

21. who is your newest oc?

22. have you ever cosplayed

your own ocs? if so, who?

23. which oc do you think has

affected you the most as youve

grown with them?

24. have you gotten cosplayers

of your ocs? if so, of whom?

25. do you have any ocs that

you havent drawn/written as/

talked about in a long time?

if so, who?

(Please ignore this if you either don't want to answer or have had this sent to you already)

OH MY GAWD THE QUESTIONS

Hi meelu!! I’ve been alright, just very inactive because of busy busy life stuff- but I saw this pop up and I wanna answer dis cuz I luv u my moot!

Alrighty anyway OC QUESTIONS MY FAVORITE!!

1. Favorite oc: my favorite oc out of all of them? Uhhhh good god- I’m gonna say my favorite is my very first oc, C.J., because she was a very big part of my early art journey. And also she was very cringy and I love her for it.

2. First oc: whoops I answered this- it was C.J.! She was a generic fox girl I made when I was a very itty bitty kid.

3. How many ocs: don’t judge me here- from what I counted just now it’s 56. There could be more that I’m forgetting, so it’s pretty iffy. But I do remember that the number got up to 60 at some point.

4. Have you kept all your ocs since the beginning: Despite how many I have, it’ll be a surprise to hear that I have actually retired a bunch. And by a punch I mean probably over 15. This does include C.J. And her band but only because I felt like I wasn’t using her enough and she had done her part for me.

5. Are any of your ocs based on a show or book: HELL YEAH! God, dude there’s a lot. Well- I say a lot but it’s not 56 a lot- anyway-

I made warrior cat ocs, like anyone, but those were retired. I based a series I have, Remnant, off of magic girl shows but it’s too far from any of them to be directly from those media. There’s The Owl House, which was several ocs I never continued using (and I’m sad I never did), there was a Brand New Animal oc I scrapped, and of course there are more that didn’t leave the sketch phase.

I guess you could count fnaf, but that’s a given.

I also had some Helluva Boss ocs that I have sketches for and even started a comic for- but when I say a comic I mean half a page was finished and I lost motivation.

Good lord I just remembered I had a whole mlp next gen. So I made a crap ton of mlp ocs- anyway-

But then you delve into two of my favorite shows and you go down a rabbit hole of history I’m not going into- which is My Hero Academia and Tmnt. I’m saying Tmnt in general because I’ve put my ocs into several shows in the franchise. Tmnt has ocs I’ve mentioned before on this blog and MHA has seven ocs of mine, that’s Jejeru, Kami, Kai, Kianami, Marikaida, and Chinatsu. I’ve fallen out of the fandom but I might use them in future, who knows!

6. What is the species of a majority of your ocs: Okay. So. This question is very hard to explain because I delve into some WACK species genetics with my ocs- Remnant is literally based on splicing genetics. But if we are being honest, most of them either started out or were, at the beginning of their story, human. So I’m gonna go with human. The second place runner is definitely an animal crossed with a human though because those are just fun.

7. Are any of your ocs an original species: Yes, actually! I’ve got several. Not that they have names or official species types or backstories or anything, but they sure are there. I’m gonna describe random characters I’ve put together with no specific species in mind.

Lufoa, an oc I did a ramble on a while ago, is not crossed with any known animal. That’s actually part of her story, but I haven’t worked it in yet. Another I could count is Artemis, but I don’t know exactly what she is- I haven’t explained it yet. There’s also my oc Alice, (NOT A SELF INSERT) who’s some kind of demon. I dunno what kind but she’s also there.

!INTERJECTION!

I’m gonna be skipping 8 and 9 because I’m running very low on the creative juice and haven’t drawn or written for fun in a WHILE and just don’t have any motivation for it- I’m so sorry abt it but I’ll answer the rest gladly!

10. Are any of your ocs part of a story: Quite a few of them are, actually! The one’s based on tv shows and books are obviously apart of one, but I’ve got a few I’ve made up on my own. There’s Remnant, the big magical girl-ish show series about teens participating in a high grade school and also accepting genetics testing to be apart of the military (main character is not aware of this second part in the slightest, woOooOoo plot~). I’ve got Midnight Misteps, which is a similar concept but it’s the apocalypse and new species and monsters and cryptdids roam around while our main cast tries to rebuild society again. I have Vivian and Fin, the two characters I don’t have a series name for yet where Viv meets a demon through accidental circumstances but turns out it’s not accidental and she’s been kidnapped by literal Hell but she doesn’t know for a majority of her time down there. And then you’ve got Camila, the rich pink and proper girl who meets secret agent Thomas under the impression he’s just a grouchy guy and then gets roped into a big gang conspiracy in her town and has to avoid these dangers with her new cop buddy all while in heels.

So yeah I’m doing great with work in progress projects

11. Do you have any twin ocs: yes! I’ve got one set, and they’re fnaf ocs, if you can imagine it. I reworked a sister location oc around a few months ago and doubled her into two people! That’s Frankie and Danny, the sweetheart engineers! One of them isn’t a sweetheart, but yadda yadda, plot and story stuff- I’m movin’ on!

12. Are any of your ocs siblings: oh. My. God. Yes. It would be very hard for me to pick them all out and name them, but let’s just say yes. Yes, there are many. I’ve got one set of sextuplets in there somewhere-

13. What is the gender of most of your ocs: Female. It’s so female it’s unfair. I’ve been getting better at this, but I still prefer drawing women over men and I have no idea why?? It’s nothing negative or anything- I just think I started drawing girls and just kept drawing girls and completely missed the boat I had to jump onto to draw guys anatomy correctly. But I’m getting better!

14. Skipped again because creative juices….aughhhhhhh….I’m tired of not having energy to draw ;-;

15. Would you ever give up any of your ocs: Okay I’m gonna assume this is talking about giving up an oc to another person- like an adopt situation- and uh no. I don’t think I would be able to do that just because I have emotional connections to literally all of them. I love them too much to just hand over their birth certificate, y’know?

16. Who is your oldest oc (age wise): oh hah. Okay, so I’m inclined to say C.J., because I ended her story with a cute little story of her growing old with her partner in a little cottage in the countryside- but! I’m gonna give this one to Paula Fidreas, a Remnant oc, because she is quite literally in her 50’s as of the start of the story. In the simplest terms, she’s a PE teacher.

17. Have you ever roleplayed as your ocs: Yes! C.J. Was actually made from a role play! And I think I’ve role played as Camila before, but that memory is a bit fuzzy.

18. How many of your ocs were adopted from someone else: None of em’! They’re mah babies, tried and true.

19. Who is your least favorite oc: I don’t count her in my oc count but Adelaide’s adoptive mom is definitely my least favorite. As a character she has a purpose in the story but I would never use her again or draw her in detail. I don’t know, she’s just there for character development at the moment.

20. Which oc has changed the most since you made them: Vivian. Definitely Vivian. Not just because she’s the oldest of I still use, but she’s also went from a brown haired girl with zero personality and a boyfriend to a troubled teenager who is too weird and different to have friends so she seeks out companionship in the land of the dead.

21. Who is your newest oc: I mentioned them earlier and this totally breaks the abruptness of me mentioning them once out of nowhere, but the sextuplets are my newest ocs. Out of all of them, Orion is the newest because I came up with his concept first.

22. Have you ever cosplayed your own ocs: Alas, I’ve never had the determination nor the money nor the confidence to do such a thing, BUT I ALMOST DID. When I was little I almost cosplayed C.J. Because I had no other ideas for a halloween costume. I didn’t end up doing it because I chickened out. Kinda wish I did though..

23. Which oc has effected you the most as you’ve grown with them: I’m gonna give this one to Alice, actually. She’s the basis of my online persona and username, if you couldn’t tell- and she was with me through quarantine. That was a joke, but no really, she consumed my art that last year.

24. Have you gotten cosplayers of your ocs: No, lol- I don’t know near enough people or anyone who would do it. And if anyone did do it, I would be dead upon seeing or hearing it because OH MY GOD?? You thought my art was good enough to put time and money into a COSPLAY?? THANK YOU???? We’re getting married. Put on the ring.

25. Do you have any ocs you haven’t used in a long time: y e a h… I haven’t ever mentioned Pepper here. She’s uh…okay- imagine Entrapta from She-ra but ten times worse and no moral code. Evil scientist. That’s all I have to say here.

MEELU THANK YOU I NEEDED SOMETHING TO DO LOL

I’ve been off tumblr for a while bro thank you for bringing me these! They were so fun <3

[pocketramblr]

StrayGods!Anon here, and first of, Congrats on The Offspring!! ❤❤❤ I wanted to say thank you for answering and that "finding compassion" and "forcing our side to do better" are very much possible in ST:TRM and that the kiddos changing together is very much the point of the Freddie Lives storyline, so I think you may enjoy them. And also, I honestly wasn't gonna ramble about my very specific OCs but honestly that's the best excuse ever to rec a few fics which I think every MHA fan deserves to experience at least once so, yeah, rambling it is. Hope that's ok.

I haven't been keeping up with BHNA in a while so I may be misremembering but I'm pretty sure at one point is mentioned there was a Third World War which, as a plot point, it is a great way to explain how technology may have mostly stagnated but they can still have crazy support tech and can send holograms in acceptance letters. But, last I checked, it wasn't a plot point that got explored and keeping the ST:TRM's take on Aphrodite would allow for that exploration and for just the right context to plop this OC on. Besides, it's a much more interesting (and heartbreaking) version of her than that of PJO and the themes of her storyline are heavy enough to make the seriousness of their situation impossible to ignore. /AKA: If you check nothing else about ST:TRM please let that be "Stray Gods 鈥� The Ritual 鈥� Red Path".

The OC I'm talking about was always meant to be an Aphrodite kid who was very disenchanted with his mother and demi siblings, someone who seemed just as untouchable as All Might from a distance but was just as flawed and vulnerable once you got close (if in different ways), and he was always meant to die. He was inspired by a bunch of different things and while I hadn't considered him for an BNHA AU before but he fits like a glove here. I kinda themed him around The Golden Apple of Discord, which got reflected in his appearance, personality, the sheer amount of plot hooks he could generate, and his last name being linked to an apple variety. He got the name Prospero Fortunato Worcester (aka Lucky) because just around the time his dad realized who the mother was he also realized his boy was gonna need all the luck he could get, and he wasn't wrong. Just like many other Aphrodite kids, this boy had a lot of unwanted attention sent his way and it was what messed him so badly in the end. I sort of envisioned him as having golden brown skin, reddish hair and the kind of eyes that make think of firebenders, but what really made him stand out wasn't his good looks but his charm and hard-earned skills.

Personality-wise I want you to imagine what would happen if a pan version of the very gnc Angel Dust from Hazbin Hotel was a deceptively angry couples' therapist who isn't so much interested in helping you solve your problems but in judging/punishing you for not treating your partner as they deserve. He's totally the kind of person who during a quest would have at one point have to make a choice between chucks and stilettos and may've actually chosen the chucks 'cuz practicality... unless someone questioned his ability to *use* stilettos. Then not only he'd have chosen those but he'd make a point of use them as improvised weapons as much as possible regardless of impracticality. If some asshole ever tried taking off a ring before flirting with him he'd flirt back... and then use the distraction to steal said asshole's ring, wallet and maybe even car. After all, even tho he didn't get involved in many quests, he was on the road a lot and would definitely be more *appreciative* of what he gets.

His reason for being always on the road was inspired on a really interesting fic I unfortunately don't remember the name of. The premise of the fic being an investigation of where did the kids of the less easy-to-turn-kid-friendly gods went and what their powers may be. Some of those kids were the children of Eros, and while I have trouble imagining PJO Eros having kids outside his marriage I can easily see it coming from ST:TRM Eros, whose wife doesn't seem to be in the picture anymore. The power/curse of these kids was in their allure and I couldn't stop worrying about the kind of mundane monsters some defenseless kids who don't understand their heritage could attract outside the safety of the camps. Considering satyrs are the children of the god of Lust, Mischief, and Wild Things, they may not have been the best match to ferry those kids to safety... and that's were Lucky comes in. His life was basically those first 4 seasons of spn that were a constant road-trip of killing monsters to save people.

As for why he had sucha distinct role, well... that's tragic backstory territory. Baby Lucky was a charming little boy born as the oldest kid and only boy from a loving family so mixed they lost track of ancestry and a very MLK reverend who made sure to pass down the right values onto his children. Y'know, someone who was very much about equality and social justice but with a dash of God Is Love And Love Is Life that would have appealed even to ST:TRM Aphrodite despite the different religious background. The only reason they were ok with letting him start camp young was because they hoped it would give him the best chance at safety; they were wrong. He never quite fit with his Aphrodite siblings, only partly because that whole "completing" someone that Piper stuck them with reeked of codependency instead of anything his family taught him about love. But other than that he had no problems making friends *without* Charmspeak. Yes, he did have it but consent was a thing he cared about too so he only used it when absolutely necessary. And he was so talented and eager to learn that he got skilled fast; maybe too fast, who knows how his life would've gone if he hadn't gone on a quest so soon.

Regardless, on his very first quest this Angel Dust met his Valentino. A very magically powerful being took a liking to our lovely Lucky boy and did *not* took rejection well. They cursed him with a suitably heroic fate whereupon everyone he loves would be fated to die, except themselves of course. Now that would be a terrible fate for everyone but for a kid from the Godess of Love... yeah, our boy was wrecked. And of course the camp couldn't turn its back on him, especially since it was obvious to everybody that Aphrodite could have lifted the curse if she bothered so, evidently he was on his own to fix things. Therefore he pretty much cut ties with basically everybody, including his mortal family, and dedicated himself to finding a way to reversing the curse or, failing that, to perma-kill the bastard who cast it. In order to do so he got closer to the Hecate kids while still keeping his self-imposed distance as best as possible. It helped than one of his best friends from before then was a very respected Hecate kid that was as understanding as possible of his situation and wanted to see him go back to his old self. And he was granted his new role as a way to help him train and research while keeping himself and others safe as much as possible since life on the road shouldn't allow for many deep interpersonal connections.

A more self-imposed social distancing attempt was his habit of calling people just by nicknames and having them call him by his own; no learning of names. Although perhaps the fact that everyone but his godly siblings got a personalized nickname defeated the purpose of that. As for the other children of Aphrodite they all just got called Dove; which was cute enough so long as you didn't know he called *actual* doves winged rats. Or that he would unfailingly take hairspray and lighter to any suspiciously gathered flock of the things for being enemy birds. He resented his mother treatment of him and the general parental neglect from Gods but he knew there was nothing he could do about it. So he dove right into magic and used it to take that old God Is Love And Love Is Life to the extreme of being able to use his godly powers to either heal, inflict seemingly unending emotional torment on monster and human alike, or even siphon the life-force from anything living through direct contact and use it to empower/heal himself and add it to the strength of his attacks. And he complemented this already OP arsenal with any and all magical trinkets he could carry, plus amazing fighting/weapon skills of his own. Maybe he was trying to distance himself from her mother's perceived legacy but if anything he was the son to most closely resemble her, at least in her Aphrodite Areia and Venus Genetrix aspects. She may've been proud... had she bothered to be part of his life.

Despite this he was never assigned nor invited to any quests after that first one (and would likely have declined any invites anyways) since quests are bound to forge strong bonds between people. That is until a new prophecy demanded it and kinda hinted he'd face the bastard who cursed him then. The way I envisioned his plotline he'd join the MC in their quest and have plenty of chances to show off his badassery and protectiveness in indispensable ways, right alongside his charm and self-destructiveness. Needless to say it wouldn't have taken him long to touch everyone's hearts despite his best efforts. And at some point the confrontation with his Valentino came to pass but no one managed to catch more than the tail end of it where a conversation seemed to have taken place and our Lucky boy started laughing before perma-killing the bastard. The actual objective of the quest got fulfilled as well and for a while everything seemed more than ok. Our boy dropped most of his more self-destructive habits and seemed to have gone back to who he was as much as it was possible for someone who'd changed so much. He reconnected with all the family and friends who'd have him back and seemed to revel in their company. But soon enough the contents of that fateful conversation came to light and not by choice. He'd never claimed the curse had been lifted but as it turns out, it got reversed. In an attempt to save himself the bastard threatened to make so that if he were to be killed by Lucky and he dared to love anyone afterwards then he'd be signing his own death sentence. So now his former quest partners are on a self-imposed quest to reverse *that*. Lucky himself couldn't care less but tags along 'cuz he doesn't want his idiots to get killed in his behalf. Everyone else gives it their all. They still fail. Just as Lucky thought they would and never blamed them for.

In this DOZI/ST:TRM AU I think he should be death since well before Izuku was offered OFA but that his presence should still be felt. And, I'm just spitballing her but, since this Izuku never developed a hero-worship for Bakugou, can you imagine how that offer would've been affected by Lucky filling up that role for Izuku instead? If this boy had already seen one of his imperfect but amazing and seemingly untouchable heroes die before meeting an All Might that's obviously holding by a thread he'd jump at the chance of keeping him from a tragic fate. After both the eidolon and daddy dearest he wouldn't even question quirks being transferable but he may have questions about whether or not anything besides power is passed down with OFA. Also, this Izuku would probably have some very conflicted feelings towards The Godess Of Love.

With that essay over, I just wanna say that looking back I found a really answer you gave about what you'd like to explore if you were to DOZI and it being either amazing crack or thoughtful dive into heavy themes and since I've always been a "Why not both?" kinda gal I'm gonna get straight to reccing those fics I mentioned. First off, I think having had Lucky in his life would鈥檝e made Izuku a lot less tolerant of Mineta and therefore far faster in helping the girls pull the Fury level power play they threw down at the creep in "Mineta's No Good Very Bad Vibes (or: where enough is enough)" by hannahbal. But also that ask about everything about the funky bean being contagious reminded me of "don't you just want to go apeshit?" by kkachis, MargaritaDaemonelix, which is an amazing read for anyone who has yet to see the potential of memes as a tool of psychological warfare. And lastly, the "god Izuku needs a nap" series by Universal_stoat has the Vestiges pulling some UA Unsolved bs that ends up convincing a bunch of people of Izuku's godhood which, kinda fitting for any Greek Gods AU.

Anyways thank you for putting up with this ramble if you've read it till the end and sorry for the lenght. Have an amazing life ❤❤❤

"I named you Good Luck Good Luck, cuz you're going to need it, kid" <- guy who tragically isn't the god of naming things and doesn't have power to actually imbue luck

Lucky sounds like a very fun oc, and I agree it would definitely fit for Izuku to really look up and admire some older campers, which means statistically... Well you know their life expectancy. It would be a fun aspect to consider with Izuku's looking up to All Might in another but similar way

[naggingatlas]

17, 22 n 24 in deltarune flavour for that VIOLENSE ASK GAME ooh pretty pleaaace

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

LITERALLY just the kids hanging out. i need them to hang out i need fics/comics (im mostly interested in comics in general. in. my life.) like those comics that one guy did their name ESCAPES me but like. abt kris lying on the floor in the bathroom. if someone remembers it pls send it in ok. also canon-compliant entries from noelle's blog. idk u got so many mentally ill kids just lying around and ur doing nothing here w these just. insanely well set up regular ass kids thats what i wanted my entire life i almost wrote a novel about 13 year olds as a 13 year old. fuck shit up. theyre constipated and having a panic attack at the taco bell idgaf make them hang. thanks.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

jevil. lol. also this came out long winded look under cut alsoOOO

that cybercity is like a bit ocean themed (dolphins and like miami neon colors……) so kinda summer themed as well and is the location for the events and start of snowgrave. honestly i really don't know there's just too much and it mightve been brought up in some part of the internet that i don't frequent so yea hard question. im shivering i need to sleep i can't think abt this. that the first chapter is about 5-8 years of your life and the second is 9-12. cuz lancer and whimsy and not knowing anything about yourself and only being limited to fairytale like perception of the world, and then cyberworld is like well discovering the internet haha wOW and all the awful awful things in it. like in the first chapter there were awful things but they weren't like worded so clearly, second is when u understand whats capitalism about. also one of the main points in this theory of mine is lesbianism and how one of clover's heads can't even say that she likes girls she doesnt know what that even is so much that its buried in the game files but its there….. and noelle is like super enthusiastic but awkward about her lesbianism and idk. projecting. i had the same things at the same ages. ugh. this theory came to me when i was thinking about jevil's gender btw. he's a casual trans femme

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

no fucking idea the only discourse i remember witnessing in the dr community as a whole was that one time a guy in the spamvil server critiqued that spam was always like the uke or power bottoming in nsfw depictions and it wasnt even like a discourse just a discussion i think they just got a lil emotional over it. mostly nsfw stuff surrounding spampton i think tho. im just. sensing that. oh and ralsei's femboy design too. i thought the guy was a spider when i was a kid. so yea shit surrounding gender and sexuality as per usual.

[tenelkadjowrites]

(my signal is acting up, so i'm not sure if you recieved my message, if you got it twice ignore one of them 😅)

thanks for your long answer!

first of all, i got into atz thanks to hongjoong, then had a brief san moment, but hwa was the one who truly captured my heart eventually and he won't let me go lolol, so i relate! i saw atz on their first tour and didn't pay much attention to seonghwa (even tho he was killing it so wtf what was on 🤡), but then wonderland happened and i was gooooooone. he's a fascinating specimen and very very inspiring too

second of all, despite everything i really liked we ransacked the city and re-read it a few times, so you clearly did something right! i do understand you may feel unsatisfied it didn't turn out the way you wanted. for me it's a good one tho!

relatable on the attraction part, i'm ace and probably aro as well, i generally find people visually pleasing, but it's mostly non-men 😅 there are many attractive male idols, but no one hits as hard as hwa, he's really my ideal gender presentation too 😭 a real chameleon and it's insanely appealing to me

i hope people aren't too rude to you or send stupid shit, cause i know it happened to one person who was strictly writing for one svt member. people complained because they wanted her to write about their biases as well, called her a solo stan and whatnot - just overall bullshit.

i agree, i also enjoy your seonghwas a lot! there's something special about the way you write him

hi hi! it isn't your signal, i got the message - i was just traveling all day yesterday and didn't get home until close to midnight so i didn't have any time to sit down and answer anything especially in the manner i prefer to!

atz is the only group where i switched my bias...and i've switched three times. i got into the group the week of debut cuz i saw a gifset of wooyoung, then hongjoong became my bias from say my name era and onward (idk if newer atiny are aware of how much hate and negativity hj originally got for his mullet but it was nonstop almost the entire time he had it on instagram comments etc. i loved how he stuck with the hairstyle for so long because he loved having it and that really leapt out at me and made me appreciate him more.) and then i switched to hwa during fireworks...but hwa has really hit me HARD on a way the only other idol i feel so unhinged over is probably taemin. (most likely because he plays with gender like a toy and i love that so much, both hwa and taemin are probably the most "ideal type" of idol to me. as you said, so many idols are gorgeous and i can appreciate how stunning they are but hwa and taemin are...just beyond for me.)

it's so cool that you got to see them at their first tour. i was unable to because 1. money to travel since they didn't visit my state and 2. personal reasons involving my dipshit now ex boyfriend. i'm always envious of anyone who got to see them so early lol.

i'm glad that you enjoyed we ransacked the city, another person said it was their favourite story of mine. i know a lot of ppl who love it. as the writer, of course you notice things about your own work that no one else will, and i just didn't think i nailed the gossip girl vibe i was trying to obtain there. i also wanted the city to feel like its own character which i believe i failed at. (and i attempted this again with arrow in the dark which i think i achieved more successfully this time around.) but i can look at any of my stories and note things i believe i "failed" at.

i do feel a mild pressure at times to write for other members of ateez but i like to believe that anyone who has messaged me, or read my asks, or even ppl i've befriended thru running this blog knows what ateez means to me. when it comes to groups, they are my ults. i am into a lot of kpop groups but they are my main loves.

i've never gotten any outright hate messages about it. i love every single member of ateez and believe every single one of the members are crucial to the dynamic of the group that makes it so successful. when mingi was on hiatus it was like smiling with a missing front tooth - you could feel the absence without him there. i love each member for different reasons, i just write about hwa 99 percent of the time because he's like...my writing muse and i'm as smitten with him as one can be when it comes to an idol. but nothing gives me greater joy than the group as a whole and i like to believe? hope? that anyone who follows this blog and reads my stuff knows that.

[genlirema]

Feel free to pick whatever fandom you wish to talk about!

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

worst part of fanon

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

“______ fandom is the nicest fandom in existence we’re all just soft babies uwu”

“______ deserves to be WORSHIPPED, I follow ______ religiously AND YOU SHOULD TOO”

News flash folks: There’s a good & bad to every fandom, regardless of the age demographic and/or what the canon material is. I ain’t naming any names/fandoms, but those who claim there’s nothing wrong with the fandom are either too disillusioned to accept otherwise or too “religious”/devout to see the bad side, to the point where they may try to indoctrinate you into believing the fandom are just good little angels who can do no harm and/or the canon is absolute law that everyone should follow. Then watch the hypocrisy as one part of the fandom tries to call out the other for being too bigoted, only for the latter half to harass the former for not being “true” fans.

I’ve fallen into this trap before, and all it really does is put the fandom & canon on a pedestal instead of treating it at face value. It also paints this black & white worldview where if people don’t like the fandom or if you don’t agree fully with them, you’re automatically ostracized as a degenerate and/or a scum of the earth. It’s the general nature of the internet, I know, but that doesn’t make it fair or normal (and it’s not good for my mental health at all c’:)

Perhaps it’s due to my religious upbringing, but I get very uncomfortable when people start joking about a fandom becoming a “religion” or that they “worship” a certain fandom. Yeah, yeah, you can chalk it up as “just a joke”, but some people may take it too seriously, whether unintentionally or on purpose. It’s just a franchise, guys, not a cult, it’s not that serious. As a wise munchy monk once said: “Not everything you like is gonna be five stars, and that’s okay. You can like something that is not very good and kinda dumb. I would know, I love Kingdom Hearts.”

10. worst part of fanon

I’m…not really sure, actually? I don’t pay much attention to fanon, and while there are some superficial headcanons in the fanon that I may not agree with, I mostly see it as a minor inconvenience that’s easy for me to ignore? You can raceswap and/or genderswap the Enstars idols all you want, you can have as many AU Sans as you want, you can be a diehard Prinxiety shipper all you want, but I really don’t care ._.;

Just…please don’t try to shove it down people’s throats? This kinda ties back to the first answer again, but as long as you’re not doing these things to harass others or prove that it’s “the best”, then that’s valid.

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

I actually had to count cuz there’s a lot apparently c’:

I counted 13, but they’re all from 3 different fandoms: Harry Potter, RWBY, and Pokemon. The first is a fandom I don’t care about that got really annoying at one point so I had to filter out the bs, but the other two are franchises that I…share a love/hate relationship with now c’:

Half of it is to avoid spoilers while the other half is because of the mixed feelings I have for the fandom and canon. In general, I sincerely hope that someday the creators/writers/developers of these two franchises would one day get their act together and write something meaningful, but considering both franchises have ironically finished their 9th installment with little to no improvement, that’s probably not going to happen any time soon c’:

More specifically however why did they had to make Bmblb canon in RWBY I really don’t want to blame the shippers for ruining the show but considering how poorly written the ship is and how it drags on for 4 FRICKING VOLUMES when we could’ve spent more time on BETTER CHARACTER AND PLOT DEVELOPMENT I’m hard-pressed to consider otherwise c’:

As for Pokemon…most of the tags are Scarlet & Violet related, or more importantly DLC related (the rest is Legends Arceus related which I still haven’t played cuz I’m poor c’:). Don’t get me wrong, I actually kinda enjoyed the game…before the DLC arrived c’:

(Also if you thought I was being ranty before this then you’re not prepared for what’s under the cut I apologize in advance for the Teal Mask/Indigo Disk spoilers the inbox and my face is on fire c’:)

It’s just…why did they make us bully Kieran like that? Why did we have NO CHOICE but to LIE to him about meeting Ogrepon? Which drunken Gamefreak exec thought this would be a good idea? What’s the point of dialogue options if they all lead to the same result? Ironically, I can forgive it in Nemona’s case after you become Champion (even though I hate her guts) because at least then the “choice” didn’t have any REAL consequence. We CRUSHED a child’s DREAM. TWICE. WE are the antagonist, NOT KIERAN. If you’re GOING to make me question the consequences for capturing not one, but TWO LEGENDARIES, why did you have to make me do it over a 14-year-old who CLEARLY DOESN’T DESERVE IT?

You know why we have villainous teams like Team Rocket, Magma, Aqua, Plasma, or even Flare, Gamefreak? Because it gives the player a moral reason to contain immeasurable power (i.e. the Legendaries) before a greater evil gets to it first. Sure, it’s stupid. It’s not true for every Legendary. Mewtwo isn’t even obtainable until AFTER you become Champion. But AT LEAST I didn’t have to grapple with the consequences for doing so. Listen, I’m all for subverting tropes & dealing with the consequences of our actions…provided it’s done correctly.

But Kieran??? A literal child??? Who had ZERO NEGATIVE CONVICTIONS for obsessing over a Legendary???? Hm, I wonder how this could’ve played out better…oh wait. You HAVE done it better before.

WITH FUCKING. EUSINE.

Did we have to lie about meeting Suicune to Eusine back then? No, because he was already there. He stood WITH us, as a PARTNER. We saw the Legendary TOGETHER. Did we have to worry about Eusine getting too obsessed just to get to the Legendary first? NO. BECAUSE HE’S A MATURE ADULT AND WE’RE BOTH WORKING TOWARDS A COMMON GOAL. Did he turn desperate and insane when we captured his prized obsession? NO. HE FUCKING. CONGRATULATES YOU. WE INSPIRED HIM TO BECOME A RESEARCHER. HE’S NOT MAD AT US, HE’S INSPIRED BY US.

Why couldn’t it be the same for Kieran?

Look, I’m not saying Kieran is this “pwecious little uwu bean who did/can do no wrong”. No. That���s not the point. You can have an obsessive character, you can love ‘em or hate ‘em all you want, but for the love of God, PLEASE DON’T ANTAGONIZE THEM FOR IT IF IT’S NOT IN THEIR CHARACTER. KIERAN IS A TEENAGER. OF COURSE HE’S GOING TO BE OBSESSED WITH A LEGENDARY. ITS. NOT. EVIL.

Because you know what happens when you do do that? When you twist the narrative so bad to asinine mary-sue levels of bullshit just to give us what we want? We become no different from Kieran or Eusine. Nay, we’re much worse. Because we “wanted” it more. Because we “deserved” it more. You know how fucked up that sounds? No one “earns” a Legendary. It’s a privilege, a miracle, a gift from God, you could say, to contain phenomenal cosmic power within the palm of our hands.

Who are you to say that we deserve it?

[goremet-chef]

writing hear no evil has really like. OPENED ME UP MORE cuz before writing the outline for that story, i have a minecraft story im working on thats like. i literally have THREE ARCS PLANNED KSJDFS for something that literally no one knows anything about 💀💀 like i have this whole thing and im so EXCITED to write it but i *need* to finish the outline first. i want to make sure i dont get my shit crossed anywhere lmao

im actually pretty happy with how hear no evil has turned out (for the like. TWO public chapters i have smh) so its motivating me to revisit that (ramble)

plus. the sooner i finished and write and release the first part of my MC story, the sooner i can draw and introduce sawyer cuz hes like my favorite character SKJFS im genuinely so. you have nno idea the love i have for these characters who. ON TOYHOUSE THEY DONT EVEN HAVE IMAGES YET?? LIKE MOST OF THEM DO NOT

it makes me feel good though, to make something i care about so much. also dante very obvious self insert but also he has a lot of substance and. GRGRRG i love character development!!!!!!!! i love conflict and resolution and . AAAAAAA i love romance and drama an goofy shit!!! gossamer sawyer friendship arc is gonna go so hard im so excited to write that i fucking love them

i just literally need to ramble about it a bit cuz like. I. I DONT EVEN TELL MY FRIENDS ABOUT IT REALLY??

i have an 11 PAGE OUTLINE. for reference hear no evil has . the outline is on ONE PAGE JUST ONE SKFJSF and its not NEARLY as detailed

the hear no evil doc is 19 pages and includes THREE chapters bro (3rd one still in progress) the minecraft story doesnt even have a NAME SJFJS its got a playlist tho 😩😩😩

my POINT is that this has just been. BOTTLED UP INSIDE ME since i created it and like. the amount of love i have for my own creation is so refreshing bro love these dumb bitches i want to explode all of them

its funny too cuz some of the like. plot point and general character things i have are from like. my actual minecraft playthroughs KSJFS my friends have no idea but something will happen to me in the game and i will NOT be normal about it, like genuinely shit they probably forgot about the moment it happened, i keep it and i expand on it when they arent looking and when they ask i just deny or shrug it off like it aint a big deal

do not question why i have a special library area you need to parkour to with a book in the center titled "the mole manifesto" DO NOT QUESTION ME

do not question my labyrinth of a house dont ask SHIT i will not tell you ignore these vague cryptic signs (courtesy of wormwood /sys) do not questiion

for real THAT was one of my favorite worlds, UNFORTUNATELY it is completely gone so. BUMMER but thats not how the mole lives! the mole just keeps digging bitch

[ijustwant2write]

Call Me By My Name-Pietro Maximoff x Powers!Reader

(GIF credit to @dailymarvelposts​)

Tags: @bloodorangemoonlight​ @amirahiddleston​

Requested by @husherstan​ : ‘could you write a one w pietro maximoff? idk if you know about a trend on tik tok where a gf or bf call them partners by they first name. Reader and Pietro are enemies cuz them both are always trying to be the best of t team, reader calls him by others names and when she (or gn) calls by him real name he was like "why are you calling me like that? whats wrong with you? are you feeling bad today?" (and he likes her so fucking much, a simp)’

Characters: Pietro Maximoff x Reader, Avengers team x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name   

(Character has the power of force fields, that both generate electricity and provide protection for them/others)  

Warnings: Name calling, bullying, arguing, fluff

                                      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“For the last time, watch where you’re going Speedy Gonzales!” I snapped as Pietro almost knocked me over again.

His form whizzed around the room once more before stopping in front of me.“Maybe try keeping up next time.”

I was startled by the force he left behind as he ran off again making a show of circling the entire training room multiple times, creating a small wave of air. I groaned loudly as I went back to jogging. He was such a show off, it infuriated me. We weren’t here to compete against each other, we were supposed to be a team; but when he waltzed around the place boasting about how fast he was, it was really hard not to step up to the plate. 

Pietro was running faster than usual, trying to overlap me dozens of times, more than he would have done in a normal session. It got on my last nerve, making me stop, my powers already flowing through my arms. It would be hard to pinpoint him, so I charged up a huge ball of electricity, casting it out harshly. I just managed to catch him, laughing as he yelped out in surprise, being thrown high into the air before landing on the sparring mats. I saw him slowly get up, clearly I had caused some pain. My fun was soon ended as he ran towards me again, having to quickly put up a force field that would protect me. Pietro bounced off it, though I hadn’t put any charge in this one, so he only fell on his backside.

“Enough!” Wanda yelled out, though we still kept our guard up around each other.“Really (Y/N)? You can relax now.”

“I don’t trust him.” I replied.

She sighed.“Come on, Steve wants to talk about the mission.”

“Why? We debriefed three days ago.”

“Something to do with it being on the news.” she shrugged, walking away.

Pietro glanced back at me, looking me up and down before following his sister. However, he didn’t look at me with disgust or anything of the sort, it was almost as if he was checking me out. I tutted at myself, why on Earth would he ever look at me like that?

I wasn’t happy joining the meeting in my sweaty state.Everyone else was dressed and put together, but at least Pietro looked similar. The team was gathered around a table, looking to Steve who was stood at the front, his arms crossed over his chest. He had the look of disappointment on his face, which meant bad news for the rest of us...or whoever was in trouble. With no seats left, I copied Steve’s stance at the back of the room, rolling my eyes when Pietro stood beside me.

“Sorry to call you guys in on such short notice.” Steve started.“But I feel that we have to discuss something that’s starting to effect the team.”

He pulled up a screen showing the news. It had images and videos of our last mission. We were raiding an old factory on the edge of the city, finding a terrorist group hiding out there as they worked on their gadgets. News coverage showed the team fighting from a helicopter view, and we were all confused as to why Steve was showing us this.

“Fastest man alive,” Pietro repeated what the reporter said,“it has a nice ring to it.”

“I wouldn’t put that in your Tinder bio.” I quipped, causing a few chuckles.

Steve looked at me.“And this is why we’re here today.”

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.“What?”

“You and Pietro are always at each other’s throats. It’s...well frankly, it’s exhausting listening to you two arguing all the time. And it could seriously put someone in danger whilst on a mission, even you two.”

“He always starts it-”

Pietro held up a finger.“Hold on, you do too-”

“You’re just proving his point guys.” Natasha spoke over us.

“As I was saying,” Steve brought the attention back to him,“the media has also caught onto this. There’s multiple images of you two clearly arguing, or even getting in each others way during the mission. At one point, you’re both trying to save the same person, but almost miss that chance because you’re so invested in being better than the other!”

Steve was really mad, and from everyone else’s faces, they thought the same thing.

“So until all of this changes, you two are suspended from any missions.”

“What?!” we both exclaimed.

“And you may not approach any other team member for assistance with training.”

“Why are we both being punished?” I demanded to know.

“Oh, do not play the victim here Mrs Incredible!” Pietro snapped.

“Mrs Incredible is super stretchy, it’s the daughter who has the same powers as me, you idiot!”

“See? You’re further showing me that I made the right decision. I felt bad at first, but now I know that this is the right direction to go in.” Steve raised his voice.“You’re both dismissed.”

“Well, what are the rest of you doing?” Pietro dared to ask.

“We are going to go over all the planning we have done for upcoming missions. Everything has to change because of you two. Now please go.”

I held it together as I left the room, not wanting to appear like a toddler stomping away in a tantrum. It was impossible to get away from Pietro, what with him being ‘the fastest man alive’, but I was going to try. I didn’t need another argument right now, I was upset, needed to be alone. Apparently, I wasn’t going to get that.

“Leave me alone.” I warned Pietro as he followed me.

“I can’t believe this! They’ve kicked us off the team because you always have to say something-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“And to think, they’re going to risk not having me on the team. I help them with everything, I’m a crucial part-”

“Pietro!” I shouted, spinning on my heel to face him. 

His eyes widened at that, glancing down to my clenched up fists, little electric sparks running over them, before looking me in my teary eyes. 

I sighed, relaxing my tense shoulders and hands before leaving. There was no point trying to explain. He wouldn’t understand. We would both get mad, probably fight, the team would have to break us up; I had no energy to do that. Slowly turning away, I was surprised by the silence that followed, Pietro didn’t even follow me. 

I checked the time on the lock screen of my phone, seeing that an hour had passed since I fled from Pietro. It also made me realise how dark the room had become, the sun would set in a few minutes. But I didn’t bother turning on any lights, instead leaning back again on the chair. I was sat in an empty lobby, it was a small room, facing the floor to ceiling window that showed the landscape that surrounded the headquarters. Besides just sitting here, I should have distracted myself. Perhaps put on a film, relax after training, something to take my mind off of things. Instead, I decided to sit with my thoughts.

“H-hey.” I heard Pietro quietly say from the doorway. 

Looking over my shoulder, I didn’t reply, facing the window again when he began walking towards me. He hesitantly turned on a lamp near us, sitting on the chair beside mine. Pietro also looked out of the window, clasping his hands together for a few seconds before fidgeting. I tried to ignore it, though after an hour of peace and nothingness, it became irritating quickly.

“Can you stop?” I blurted out.“Please?”

“Are you annoyed by everything I do?” he asked.

“Not...everything. I just...doesn’t matter, it’s not like you care anyway.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’m not falling for this Pietro.”

“Why are you saying my name?”

“What?”

“You never say my name. Actually, we never say each others names.”

“And why does that matter?”

“It just feels, it feels serious.”

“I mean, we’ve basically been kicked off the team, so yeah, it’s serious.”

“We’ve not been kicked off the team (Y/N).”

“We could be if we don’t get our act together.”

“It won’t go that far-”

“But it could! I can’t believe how calm you are about the whole thing.” I stood, distancing myself from him.“I’ve worked too hard for this. Imagine what would happen if word got out that I was disbanded from the Avengers because of a tiny argument, with a team member who is so narcissistic that he can’t put others before himself!”

I realised I had began ranting, stopping myself before I said anything else hurtful. But by the look of Pietro’s face, it was already too late.

“I...I’m sorry (Y/N).” he never broke eye contact.“And before you say anything, I mean it.”

“Pietro, I-”

“I can see how much this job means to you.”

“It’s my fault too. I always try to outdo you or challenge you.”

“No, don’t be humble.” he got out of his seat, standing in front of me.“It’s almost always my fault that we argue. And I hate myself for it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m usually very good with the ladies.” he grinned, though it disappeared when he realised it wasn’t time to joke.“But not around you apparently. It’s probably because you’re extremely strong and sure of yourself, and I go for a different type, the polar opposite to you.”

“Pietro, I...um...”

“I was really impressed by you when we first met. It made me nervous actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, all I can do is run really fast.”

“But, you’ve been on much more missions than I have. Doesn’t that say something?” I hung my head.

“Are you crazy? You’re not on those missions because they don’t need you.”

My head whipped up to see his smile drop.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I meant that those missions are for Avengers like me. The ones they can use over and over without worrying about them being too tired for the next one. What I’m trying to say is, you’re too important.”

“I never thought I would say this, but Pietro, you’re an important part of the team too. I always rose to your challenges because I felt I needed to prove something to the others. I was new, then I was accepted after all my relentless training, but when you and Wanda came along, I instantly became old news. And you didn’t even go through the rigorous regimes like I did, so I just assumed you were better than me.”

“It seems we were both wrong about each other. We were going through a lot of effort to outdo the other when we could have saved that energy for...well, anything else really.”

“Yeah. I suppose so.”

Pietro held his hand out.“Truce?”

I smiled up at him as I shook it.“Truce.”

A cheeky smirk appeared as he raised an eyebrow at me.“Let’s not tell the team about this just yet. I feel like there would be a lot of ‘I told you so’.”

“It’s like you read my mind.”

“And another thing.”

I noticed he was still holding my hand, though they were lowered now, and his grip wasn’t as firm.“Yes?”

“Can we start calling each other by our actual names?”

“I mean, I assumed we would anyway.”

“Oh, good. I just...”

“You just?”

“I just like the way it sounds when you say my name.”

[pup5000-af]

[ on Reina x Angelie :]

In this au thing...fantasy of mine, Reina was never after Malachia (since she treats him like trash and pushes him around in the show, it made me wonder: did she even like him at all to begin with? or was that fully just an obsession to the bone? the answer is yes.)

in my personal opinion writers have not given her character any valid base for a romantic attraction, however they have given her a crazy obsession over a mortal she was supposed to guard. fully one sided: with all the power and interest piled up to one party and a complete disregard for any consent of any sort …

I don’t want her to be like that… So I was thinking, what if Reina actually interacted with Angelie prior Mals enslavement and fell for her instead? cuz i believe that could be quite interesting for so many reasons and connect nicely with other lore i’ve made. so i wanted to develop some theories for that

warning✋i’m a complete novice when it comes to writing and anything verbal-words-related, this is way out off my field

[beginning]

At the time that Rei was assigned to guard Malachia , homeboy was in the middle of shooting his shot with Angie...

since Angie is psychic and everything, she noticed celestial beings over other people, could hear their thoughts and see their magic

[ celestial thoughts are like a weird coded blur of unfamiliar sounds and imagery. It was hard for her to even guess the general intentions at first. Most of her spare time Angelie spent on journaling the bits of information she caught and attempting to decode them as best as she could. this was her hobby]

Because of that, at times ... and by “at times” I mean: relatively often, she would behave in ways others couldn’t comprehend. she was a “weird one”

The things she saw and wondered about, the way those things impacted her day to day life... made her a freak to other terrestrials. People stared at her a lot. They called her names and generally treated her pretty poorly out of fear. She had no community to turn to. And even tho she spent most of her life without having any close relationships, even tho she appeared to be numb to her otherness, she was still misunderstood and ....alone. It never actually got better

[ Her knowledge and slight fixation on these otherworldly creatures, who carefully impacted the very lives of those around her… existence of which - only she seemed to be aware of... this experience shaped her in many ways. She studied them every moment she could, trying to understand them: what they are? what exactly they’re doing? why? what do they need from us? ]

Malachia could never fully understand what she was going through... and even if he could, she never actually allowed to him get close enough. not a chance. If he knew, she thought: like the rest of them, he’d probably think she‘s gone mad. Angelie was scared of getting attached and then being rejected like always (or worse, getting herself killed). But our dude didn’t get the hint, so he hung around anyway and somehow they became friends overtime (well sorta. he was just too oblivious to be afraid)

[ he still lowkey had a crush on her

maybe to him Angelie seemed just mysterious, troubled? obviously very smart, she knew things about the world and he couldn’t imagine what those things were. it was hard to figure her out, more then anything.... he was actually just in awe and kind of intrigued by her “unusual” act]

/anyways/ moving on

One day, while Malachia and Angelie were taking a stroll, just chatting about something mundane. his guardians showed up to watch, for whatever small, moral dilemma Malachia had during that conversation.

It wasn’t the first time Angelie noticed them, but the first time they got that close to her, it was hard to ignore...

Rei and Angie both noticed how they were aware of each others presence and decided ...to sorta approach one another

[ uh 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑠... which 𝑖 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ: of ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑅𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑎 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟? 𝑤ℎ𝑦 exactly 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑜ℎ𝑒𝑟? what were their first thoughts before choosing to confront 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 when they did... 𝑏𝑢𝑡. 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡. Imagine it’s there lmao, 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑎𝑦~ ]

Their interactions weren’t just ^ celestial being creeping over terrestrial, without their consent or knowledge ^ as it usually is.. no, human could see the angel. They could actually talk, without the whole ^turning into terrestrial and making up ur identity on the spot^ charade. it was raw and refreshingly honest for the both of them.

𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑡𝑜 

Time passed, Rei and Angie got closer to each other. Angelie was able to open up about all the things, that she had to keep hidden, under control... all of her secret experiences, struggles and ostracisation she had to endure as a terrestrial woman with "supernatural" abilities.

Reina related to many things An was describing: like that feeling of isolation, that loneliness. She had no one to talk to about the many things that concerned her throughout her existence: Being created for service, constantly wondering about her [and every other beings] purpose in this world. She too, didn't have anyone to discuss these things with... Angels seemed to be ...secure.. in their collective "identity" as if none of them ever had a craving for something more ? .. like they were never even a bit curious of what it would feel like to deviate ...

And devils … well .. those didn't even respect her enough to have an open discussion. she had no luck finding ones who actually would give her the time'a day.

and for Angie it was almost comforting in a way... to find a non-human friend. this... being... this guardian angel, who was never afraid of her, the two of them could actually have something... which felt unusually "normal"? Healthy. Much needed for the both of them. they could finely connect

[𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡: 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗥𝗲𝗶 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝗔𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗻𝘁, virgin Mary style Imao. “the mother the daughter and the holy spirit”. 𝘀𝗼 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝗶𝘀 𝗥𝗮𝗳𝘀 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 (also ʀᴇғᴇʀʀɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏʀᴀʟɪɴᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴀʟʟᴇʟs) and -> 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗥𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗮 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗥𝗮𝗳𝘀 𝗯𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝘀𝗵𝗲’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 only one in Rafs surroundings 𝘄𝗵𝗼 "noticed". cuz she is her fucking mum.]

After Angelie got pregnant, they made up a plan to convince Malachia that it was his. Because there wasn’t a possibility, that Reina could physically help Angie raise jesus2.0 on the same plane of existence. Even tho Reina really tried to convince High Spheres, they are not historically known ..to let angels deviate and find happiness in the human realm.

 Reina helped how she could, to protect her bestie and their love child. Mostly by spying over everything and everyone (even at the slightest possibility that it could possibly affect her loved ones. momma-bear-fbi-agent) She would even sometimes use terrestrial form to interfere, but that was the last, last resort. It did get her in a bit trouble with higher ups, but as long as it didn't majorly affect terrestrials HS were "merciful" and “willing to overlook”. this small, family of outcasts, couldn’t afford to have Rei get taken away for a celestial punishment. Angelie might not even live long enough to see her completely platonic girl-pal ever again... [ or Reina could get straight up wiped out of existence... we don’t know how far HS would go to “fix” something they consider inconvenient/wrong/deviant/a mistake. Which Reina certainly started to appear like to the angelic system at that time ]

Angelie got abducted

No one knew what took her or ...why? Reina, even with her abilities couldn’t find An. Angelie was the closest and only friend Rei ever had, her love ... and she lost her . Rei’s leads were going nowhere... and just the thought. that a depressed man with ptsd, was now raising their child... oh boy... was not helping the situation. It was driving Reina crazy! She was not...... .. stable ... Even Zebel (her rival) was weirded the fuck out by her out of line behavior [more than he usually was anyway]

she interfered too much... and at one point .... she

s҉t҉o҉l҉e҉ M҉a҉l҉a҉c҉h҉i҉a҉s҉ f҉r҉e҉e҉ w҉i҉l҉l҉

Cuz she thought... that maybe... if it’s is hers, she could 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡 how he raises Raf, she could 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙤𝙛𝙛 his grief and 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢 a better person. a better parent

Then.... maybe... this way, she could also be just a little closer to her daughter.. Somehow it seemed like a pretty decent plan at the time.

She was so desperate…

𝑇𝑜 𝐵𝑒 𝐶𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒𝑑 

𝑠𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑠 𝑖 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 ~ ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦𝑒𝑑. 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜: 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑑 / 𝑜𝑟 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑡𝑖𝑝𝑠 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝑜 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 /𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑠: 𝑏𝑦 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑠, 𝑑𝑜 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒.

𝑖’𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑚 𝑎𝑠 𝑖 𝑐𝑎𝑛

♥︎

[mckitterick]

Feel free to not answer this if you don't want to get into it, but what's with all those people saying that AO3 hosts child porn? Like where is it coming from? Is there actual child porn?, I highly doubt it, but like, you seem to know a bit more a bout these "ant1s" (the anti Vs. Pro debate is something I've been trying to avoid cuz it seems v. Stupid, but like, if they are accusing it of hosting CP, is not something I can easily ignore???)

hi anon, and thanks for asking! I appreciate your effort to learn more. I'll do my best to round up the arguments and share further reading

(full disclosure: I'm a pro author, editor, educator, and long-time fan of science and speculative fiction, not a fic writer. one of my friends helped establish the academic side of the Organization for Transformative Works, I know lots of fans and fanfic writers, I've volunteered at fan conventions and academic conferences for decades, and I teach fandom-related things, but I don't personally claim to be an expert)

let's start with this:

Any decent person is against actual childprn.

that includes those who run AO3 - it's specifically not allowed on that site. the site does allow fiction tagged with potential triggers (especially the Big Ones, which require "Archive Warnings")

people who claim AO3 hosts cp are the same folks who seek to ban books with uncomfortable sexual situations and LGBTQ characters just, y'know, living their lives

No decent person approves of actual cp or exploitation of children. that includes the Organization for Transformative Works, which operates AO3.

most folks also feel uncomfortable about a lot of media (including fiction) for a lot of reasons based on real concern for the well-being of others, especially kids and those with trauma in our past. AO3 requires creators to tag potentially triggering things. those who don't get strikes against them

it's easy to tag - and block tags - on AO3, so no one should have to deal with trauma triggers. children under the age of 13 not permitted to have an account or upload content. the volunteers who run AO3 do not tolerate abusive behavior or those who otherwise abuse the community:

so that's the background

I've posted a couple other things today about what some of the anti-fic and anti-LGBTQ contingent have been doing in attempts to limit free expression, but to consolidate here are some relevant pieces

first and most relevant to your ask:

lots about the debate on Fanlore:

basically it comes down to purity culture - that includes homophobes, transphobes, and general conservative antis - seeking to hetero-fy social media. just as they do elsewhere, their basic strategy is to call things they don't like scary names "to protect the childrens!" while they actively work to outlaw everything that actually helps protect kids, especially LGBTQ kids

so, no, AO3 does not host childprn

it does host a bunch of stuff I'd never want to read (even if I read much there), but then I don't have to because tags exist to help block such things

look deeper at the anti-fic folks to better understand why they say this - to be fair, much of it comes from honest concern, as with you, anon. just as many of us accidentally reblog TERF rhetoric because it seems well-intentioned, it's a natural reflex to feel uncomfortable or even disgusted by some stories

but if we let the anti-LGBTQ crowd win re: AO3, what's their next target? even discounting the massive loss of stories and community that would mean, if we begin banning uncomfortable fiction, who decides what's "uncomfortable" next?

I'd rather live in a world that contains both disgusting and LGBTQ-positive fiction than one that only allows straight-cis-white fiction and hard-right propaganda

I urge anyone with concerns like anon's to read the linked posts and talk to someone more deeply involved in fandom - Tumblr is one of the last bastions of pro-fic culture, so you're in the right place to learn more!

[spinster-sisters]

Sailor's Wife. psh

Pirate au

TW: ngl this gets kind heavy right in the beginning then it gets kinda soft right at the end so like idk. dom seonghwa, sub reader, degradation, use of the word whore(also wench cuz like pirates), oral, edging, possessiveness, breeding kink. oops, manhandling.

Normally i try my darndest to not get too wordy but for this I let it happen.

@xiuminswifeforever this ones for u. also this got a little carried away but heyyyyy what can ya do.

Also @multidreams-and-desires @a-soft-hornytiny and @eonghwa may possibly probably will enjoy this to so have at it

Perhaps you should be more understanding with your husband Seonghwa. After all, your ship had a name and a reputation to uphold, which would not be possible without the efforts of both him and your captain Hongjoong. But you were still stuck on a ship at sea, without much to do. It had been 4 days since you last made port, and it is likely you wouldn't dock for at least another 10. And with your husband ignoring your needs for the sake of maintaining perfect order on board as First Mate, you were feeling a little stir crazy.

Of course as the First Mates wife, and notable figure amongst the crew you had your own reputation to uphold as both a devoted wife and skilled sailor. So when you and your closest confidantes on board tried to blow off some steam by dipping into the bottles of rum during broad daylight on the top deck of the ship, your antics turn more than a few heads among the lower-ranking members of the crew.

It's true that Seonghwa had been neglecting you, instead spending the hours of the night pouring over maps and charts with the Capitan. And San and Wooyoung had always given you all the attention you missed. So in your slightly inebriated state, your place on Wooyoungs lap touseling his long hair felt more than natural.

The three of you were causing quite a ruckus, laughing, shouting, knocking over barrels and crates, and other general tomfoolery. It was only a short while before your Husband came bursting through the door on the far end of the deck (Capitans Quarters) scanning the ship for the cause of the disturbance.

Once he found it his eyes narrowed. He stalked over to your happy gathering, which had only briefly acknowledged him, with furry radiating of every step. Once he stood glowering before you, you finally gave him your attention.

"Seonghwa! Darling! How nice to see you!" You called, still on Wooyoungs lap. You swung your arms out to him and gestured for him to come to you but he ignored it. The slightly shrill cry of your voice had once again attracted the attention of the crew.

"We don't pay you to gawk. Back to work all of you!" Seonghwas powerful voice carried over to the men, who sprung into action, heads turning quickly away. Seonghwa turned his hard stare back to the three of you.

"I want all three of you off this deck, in your quarters in the next 5 minutes," he began low and growling, "or so help me God I will throw you overboard myself!" As he carried on his voice grew in both anger and volume. But the three of you, foolishly perhaps, did not heed his warning.

"Oh, come on now Seonghwa. Don't be such a hard ass" San remarked giggly. Seonghwas gaze snapped to the man and opened his mouth to speak but Wooyoung interjected.

"We were just showing your lovely wife a good time," he spoke with a lopsided smirk, hand coming down to your thigh. And the Frist Mate followed the action with dangerous eyes.

You stood from your spot on wobbly feet, taking a step closer to your husband, and took the front lapels of his long sea-worn jacket into your hands and practically hung on the man.

"Come now, Seonghwa. Won't you find it in your heart to be lenient with your darling little wife," you pleaded jokingly, batting your eyelashes. Seonghwa was not amused.

He took your wrist into his hand and with a strong grip, he pulled you away from him so quick you almost toppled to the floor, but not before he yanked your arm back with equal strength, leaning down to be right in your face as he spat.

"I do not see the darling wife you speak of, all I can see is a drunk ship wench without the mind to Do. As. Shes. Told. Now go back to our room and hope with all your might you sober up before I get there."

As his speech concluded he pushed you away again, this time in the direction of the stairs that led below deck. You were practically in shock as you bowed your head and stumbled to wooden stairs, the distant yells of your husband now directed at the other two men. taking the stairs down to the first floor where there were 7 small rooms for the officers aboard, including you and your husband's room at the end of the short hall.

Now perhaps you were drunker than you realized because the gentle swaying of the ship with the waves had you practically falling over with every step and by the time you reached your room you had all but collapsed onto the bed, drifting in and out of consciousness with the tides.

Perhaps, Seonghwas words had been empty threats as when you finally awoke (unfortunately sober) you could see the dusk sky shining through the small window at the back of the tiny room. Your head pounded when you sat up, but the uncomfortableness of your day clothes was undeniable.

You slipped out of the hard leather of your coat and boots and pulled the linen shirt over your head. After removing your ragged pants from your body you moved to pull your soft nightgown over your head but stopped when the door open. Ready to scream at the person who disturbed you in private you only stoped when your eyes landed on your cross-looking husband. You scoffed at the man in the door and turned your back to him.

"Oh no darling, you can't run away from me this time," he said rounding the bed to stand behind you, "your actions today were absolutely inexcusable, no matter what marriage you benefit from" he growled at you.

You scoffed again and whipped around to face him, still completely bare.

"Darling? Who on earth could you be talking to, certainly not me. As I recall I was nothing more than a ship wench." You spat his own words back at him.

"Don't try to be smart," he snapped at you, taking another step closer, " Today you behaved like nothing more than an attention-hungry whore, and if you expect me to set that aside simply as your husband you are far from wrong darling," his voice spoke dangerously even.

"Perhaps I have a right to be starved for attention! As you seem certainly more than willing to leave me alone for days on end," you returned with equal venom. This seemed to shock Seonghwa, though his anger did not lessen he remained quiet.

"What kind of husband leaves their wife for days on end without so much as a touch! Perhaps I should go find Wooyoung? As I know he would be more than willing to give me the kind of attention you have been denying me,"

As soon as the words left your mouth you knew they had been a mistake, you opened your lips to take them back but Seonghwas hand caught your throat in an instant, catching your breath.

"You want me to act like a husband? Perhaps I should treat you as a husband should treat their wife when they say such things," he glowered, eyes sharpening with rage.

He released his grip on your neck only to push you back onto your creaking bed. As you caught your breath Seonghwa tossed his own coat away from him and loosened the ties of string keeping the top of his shirt together, but not removing it completely. He climbed onto your exposed body, keeping you trapped beneath his weight. He ran one lean hand from your neck down to your breast and groped it with rough hands. You moaned in pleasure, finally, your body practically screamed. He scoffed at you.

"You want to be treated like a wife yet you sound like such a whore, crying out for me at the slightest touch, perhaps I should teach you how to appreciate what you are given."

He moved away from your body before wrenching your legs apart. You blushed madly at how his words and touch had affected you, your cunt was already sopping wet at the idea of your husband finally putting it to use.

"Tsk, so desperate. Have a taught you nothing?" he grumbled to himself.

"Sorry, sir" you whined. He meets your eyes for just an instant, showing him that you had not forgotten all of your manners with him. He wasted not another moment before pulling your hips twords his head and licking up your dripping folds. A strangled cry left your lips.

Just as he set to work, licking and sucking all of the places on you that he knew to be useful. His hand returned to your breast, kneading the flesh between his long fingers with a rough grip.

You were at his mercy. Your body was his to toy with and he knew how to play you well. His tongue dove into your slit, further than should be possible, using the muscle to open the neglected hole and taste the essence now running down his chin. He lapped away at your cunt, taking all he wanted from you while you lay there limp and twitching with the occasional cry of ecstasy.

His fingers pinched the hard bud of your nipple and pulled on it, bringing a cry from your lips. Normally cries like these were reprimanded, but you had a feeling your husband wanted the whole ship to know exactly what he was doing to his wife.

You were coming closer and closer to the orgasm you so desperately needed. Your body was reacting to every touch with increased sensitivity as it hadn't been used in so long, and Seonghwa was oh so skilled at pulling these feelings out of you, the fire burning in your belly was twisting and reveling, begging to be realized.

You cried out again, feeling you're about to get that sweet sweet release you so craved.

When it all stopped.

You cried out again but this time in strangled desperation and confusion. You locked eyes with your husband and plead you were wrong about what is happening.

Seonghwa simply pulled away, unbothered, he stood from the bed and you felt your heart shatter as he moved across the floor. He picked up a rag and wiped his face clean before turning back to your still panting figure.

"Remember, when you married me you gave your sweet, soft body to me. And now any pleasure it receives is mine to control. I want you to think about what you just experienced and learn to appreciate all that I give you. Now, I am going to return to my duties, and when I come back if I believe you have earned it I will treat you like my wife, and not some common whore."

And without another word, he left.

-

You laid their flabbergasted and unmoving for what felt like hours. As the sunset behind the horizon, you pulled your body up into a sitting position with your legs cradled to your chest. You don't dare act on the burning emptiness in your core, as you truly felt you had learned your lesson.

The minutes ticked on. Occasionally you heard the sound of feet coming down the ladder from down the hall and your stomach lept, but every time they continued down to the lower deck for the crew. Your mind wandered to your wedding day.

It had only been 4 years since that day. It was before you had joined the crew, but Seonghwa who you had known since your childhood had already been called to the sea by his friend and now captain. He had asked you to marry him the day before he left on his first voyage and you waited for him without a second thought. Once he returned months later he had already been made First Mate and you only had a week before he would be out at sea again. On the day of your wedding, you were scolded by your parents for allowing a lawless pirate to take you, but your father gave you away regardless. By the end of the night, you were already miles out to sea with your new husband and he showed you for the first time how well a wife could be treated.

Needless to say, you rediscovered your appreciation for the man.

So when the door finally opened once again, you only gazed at Seonghwa with stars in your eyes. He approached your side of the bed and took your chin into his hand, aiming your face up at his.

"Have you learned your lesson?" He asked. You nodded.

"Yes, sir," you spoke with a creaky voice. He cracked the smallest hint of a satisfied smile.

"Why don't you lean back, my darling"

And so you did. You fell back onto the blankets and watched as your husband finally pulled his shirt over his head and rid himself of his distressed pants. He climbed over you and took your head in his hand again and muttered,

"Now remind me, sweet girl, who's are you," he asked in a firm guiding voice.

"All yours, sir,"

"Wonderful, should I take what's mine then?" He asked in that same tone.

"Please sir," you replied.

Seonghwa leaned down to connect your lips in one sweet kiss that lasted only a moment before pulling away his demeanor changed. Hands ran down your sides pulling your legs to wrap around his thin waist.

"My darling wife, waiting so patiently for me," he mused. The tip of his cock teased your wet entrance, only pushing in the slightest bit but you clenched instinctively regardless.

"Maybe it has been too long," he chuckled darkly in your ear, "I almost forgot how eagerly you wish to be filled," he chided taking the lobe of your ear between his teeth. Your breath hitched, scared to make /the wrong move that would bring this all crashing to a halt.

In one fluid motion, Seonghwa pushed the rest of his length into you to the hilt. You whined desperately at the slightly painful stretch and screwed your eyes shut as the pain morphed into the sweetest pleasure.

"Ready, my darling?" He mumbled into your ear, a slight smirk in his voice.

"Please,"

And so he began. Pulling all the way out before slamming back in with the same force and speed. You cried out again.

Every time his hips met yours for that brief moment you relished in the feeling of being completely filled up by him. His length was long and he used it well. He knew your body well enough to know exactly how to angle your hips to be hitting your more sensitive places inside you every single time he thrust.

You clung desperately to his broad shoulders, allowing your body to become plaint again and for lewd sound to tumble past your lips into his ears. Each sound seemed to give him newfound strength, picking up speed and force every time.

"Oh, my sweet wife, letting me have my way with her," he mumbled, gripping your hip for leverage, the other hand gently caressing your body. "So desperate to be filled," he chuckled. You whined in agreement, pulling yourself tighter to his body as your sensitive walls clung and stretched around him.

"I could fill you up even more darling, would you like that?" He asked, panting slightly at the exertion.

You nodded blindly.

"I could fill you up with my cum, fill you up with my child," he groaned at the thought, "oh you would love that wouldn't you darling, letting me put a child in you," you clenched around his cock once again as he punctuated his words with one, particularly hard thrust into your special spot.

"Yes, sir" you replied breathlessly "please, fill me up with your child," it came out as nothing but a whisper, "want- want your baby,"

"I know you do darling, don't worry," he groaned. You were clenching around him madly and your orgasm was fast approaching. His grip on your hip and turned to iron and your body was convulsing.

"What kind of husband would I be if I didn't give my wife a baby,"

At those words, your body began to convulse. You finally felt that sweet really you had been denied for so long. Your eyes rolled back and your cunt was clenching frantically as the waves of pleasure came over you so strong you lost control of your limbs, crying out weakly Seonghwas name. Seonghwa kept his steady pace all the while until he himself was thrown over the edge.

You recognize the feeling of thick ropes of cum pouring into you. Seonghwas own cries had increased in volume as he emptied inside you. It took several seconds, but when he had finally milked the last of his orgasms from your body he pulled away.

You lay spent but completely content on the bed before him with what could only be described as a dopey smile. He always looked so beautiful when he came and even coming down yourself you had to admire the gorgeous man you married. He cracked his own smile at your face and leaned to give you a lingering kiss. And your eyes dropped closed.

"Go to sleep, darling, ill take care of you in the morning."

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review, ch (92-93)

That was painful & so well-written! This analysis will focus on kyokyo mainly & faintly on her effect on kyo. Although, her story affects tohru’s life immensely, I won’t analyze tohru’s part & will wait until it’s a tohru’s chapter to use the knowledge of kyoko’s past to better read tohru’s mind & understand her decisions! Can’t wait! after all, that’s why I’ve read the manga to begin with!

-Kyoko’s Atonement:  (the weight of words):

 Kyoko breaks down after she learns she’s expecting. Why? cuz she hurt her mom. The notion that “yeah my parents caused me emotional trauma & so I’mma hurt them as well” is toxic & burdening as it starts a cycle of pain. Kyoko was right. She had no idea how her mom felt seeing her rebel, or follow violence or hear her harsh words. I’m not cleansing the mom from guilt nor responsibility. I’m just saying since the mom’s pov is blocked from us, assuming shes similar to the dad is wrong. kyoko’s fear of being punished with a child similar to herself is genuine, realistic & refreshing to see expressed in anime! usually character like kyoko are cool & brave, but here she’s humanly weak & doubtful. LOVE IT!

Moreover, in furuba words weigh on ppl & have consequences. We see this with kyo. His dad destroyed him verbally with words “ not my fault, it’s yours” that kyo echoes back to yuki! meaning the consequences of the dad’s words cause harm to his wife, kyo & even yuki!. Kyo was tormented with his own words for long time & clung to them even more in order not to resort to suicide! “ not my fault, it’s the rat’s” . Words can crush you down so bad if you hear them from loved ones, & worse if you utter them back to other loved ones! here kyoko learned that just the mere thought of her future child echoing her words back to her would torment her to death! Excellent writing!

-Katsuya invented Furuba’s vision (Accepting weakness & moving on):

The teachings of kyoko & tohru were really katsuya’s after all. I’m fne with that. These teachings are the core of Furuba’s vision. He tells kyoko to accept that she’s weak, afraid & doubtful. it’s okay. But gives her tools to move on. Your kid isn’t you. They’re an individual person. As parents all we can do is give love/hugs (sth kyoko’s parents didnt do), listen to them (sth yuki’s parents didnt do) & if they do sth wrong will explain it & teach them well (sth kyo’s parents didn’t do, his wrong deed was being born a cat spirit & he was hated for it with no explanation, mom gave lots of “fake” love & escaped by death, dad became a raging monster). Accepting weakness & moving on is what the cursed sohmnas needed to do to heal & what tohru taught them. Off course, tohru herself struggled to follow her own teachings & that’s amazingly realistic!

-Kyoko’s guilt (punishment brings ease):

Kyoko wanted to be punished so harsh for her husband’s death. The gossip got to her. She failed him as a life’s companion. Taking care of our loved ones is a duty we carry with much love & care. Them slipping away is perceived as us failing by none than ourselves. The thing is, death comes with no warning at times. It was his time to leave. Accepting it or not, wont bring him back, but accepting it will help kyoko deal with pain while not accepting will cause more pain for her & tohru.

One of the most painful things abt grief is that it’s personal. Life continues around you. Only you feel it.  “didn’t the world end when katsuya died”. No kyoko. Only you died emotionally. Only him died physically. Kyo once said “ mom why didn’t you kill me instead”. A different reaction to grief, guilt & pain, but same conclusion: neither katsuya nor kyo’s mom are coming back no matter how much pain kyo or kyoko felt.

Kyoko found ease in emotional death, neglecting & refusing life, punishing herself for staying after him.

kyo found ease in rage & blaming others as he his father did, later he’ll escape to emotional & physical slow death “ cat cage/confinement”.

tohru... found ease in pretending "I’m okay” & her mom is alive.. but not physically.. emotionally, so she’ll ignore the truth & live only for her.

Didn’t I say grief is harsh, weird & very very personal. It’s hard to explain, deal with & heal. The mere words of consolation hurt cuz the grieving ones dont want to accept loved one are really gone. Her dad’s harsh words cemented the “emotional death” that kyoko felt. I’m not needed. neither katsuya. nor parents in general. depression. misery. sadness. emptiness.

-The tv show helped to trigger kyoko’s desire to “meet” katsuya. She has already reached the conclusion that she isnt needed. So, the tv show with their words of the deceased wanting you to be happy. triggered her into misinterpreting the words as to mean her death NOT fuel her to live in his memory as intended.

- “Loosing your way first before finding your answer” is okay & so human!:

Ironically..Tohru... was the person Kyoko was punishing NOT herself: By being emotionally dead, kyoko neglected her daughter. Her world shouldnt be just one person. There are others. Katsuya himself gave her a person to love. Tohru. Kyoko chose death & unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher thsn what kyoko faced. She was about to do, but was saved by a nameless child who reminded her of tohru. She chose wrong first but later saw her answer. Kyo chose death by accepting the confinement & he, too, unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher if he wasnt with her. He chose wrong first but later saw his answer. Off course kyo’s story is more developed & complicated as he dealt with bigger issues than just tohru & his answer wasn't just loving tohru alone but also loving himself & choosing to live for them both: himself & tohru.

-Kyo’s guilt is a concussion thought eating him alive:

Part of why kyo’s story was one of the most human & complex is due him loosing his way first, failing, repeating mistakes “ I always though that hurting ppl was the only thing I was good at, after all, isnt that why mom died?” Kyo’s nightmare being a conscious effect of hearing tohru’s talk abt “ videos & memories of loved ones” is 1000 times stronger & more human than a cliche effect of seeing a “ hat” & to revive a a blocked memory... What the hell!! truly disgusting how the emotional weigh is reduced for stupid cliche drama !!!!!! ..

Anyway, kyo actively & consciously wanted punishment .He was sure that kyoko blamed him” I wont forgive you” can only mean what it literally means. The purpose of the nightmare is to cause kyo to seek “ emotional death” like kyoko & to loose his path more. It is meant to prepare kyo to refuse tohru even more. Therefore, the pay off at the climax will be better & stronger.

Reading kyo’s inner thoughts will never not be refreshing!!! Also, the slow burn is cooked on low , hot fire , so the pay off will be the most delicious there is!

Side Notes:

I’ve stated my feelings regarding the age gap between kyoko & katsuya in last chapter’s preview post. I’m done with it & won’t let it interfere with my analysis of kyoko nor tohru.

The idea of just being together as a fun hanging out activity without being bothered much of where reminds ms so much of kyo & tohru!! we see them being happy together in the anime in kazuma’s house, shigure’s rooftop, cooking pancake in the kitchen! I really like this domestic feel of romance! it contradicts the notion of expensive restaurant with the girl wearing a breathtaking dress to woo the guy for it to be utterly romantic as we see in movies, & other stories.

NGL, katsuya looked sexy waiting home.. damn it! >_<

I cried watching tohru between her parents, how they acted & how loved she was! T_T. it reminded me of my niece How her dad’s death affected her! She was the apple of his eyes.. T_T.

Tohru is indeed a rice ball! her dad gave her a masculine name while tohru is so feminine! his reasoning is “finding salty taste in sweet things make the taste better & stronger, kinda giving it a hidden flavour”, the rice ball has a pickle inside it & it’s what makes the taste so savory & delicious!

Grandpa’s “ chance meetings could lead to variety of outcomes, good or bad” YES! kyo/tohru/yuki meeting each other by chance. Fiction make it look weird, but trust me, real life has those by dozens!

“ i wonder how lost you’ll be, how much time you’ll need to get your answer”. He will screw up so bad, kyoko! it will be so good! one of the best screw up’s I’ve seen! so painful for him & tohru & amazingly written!

Kyo’s nightmare being connected to him remembering/dreaming of kyoko’s story is bigger effect than opening the ep with it & having the cause be sth that happened last ep, a week ago... the effect is NOT the same.

Momiji is so cute!!! did his curse break here or not yet? he seemed as tall as tohru.

Writing tohru worried abt kyo after seeing him pale is the tohru I know!! Not that stupid girl who watches the guy she loves have a panic attach in se3, ep6, then goes in ep 7...” dahhhh.. Jeez.. I duno why kyo is sleeping until now.. better laugh & make cute rice cakes” giggle giggle...That scene got me so furious even when I first saw it!! THIS IS NOT TOHRU! tohru cried for a stupid story that haru told abt puppets!! she’ll forget the person she challenges herself for is sick?! ugh!

I love seeing yuki & kyo chill & cool around each other.

Kyoko being fully dependent on katsuya can be a factor in her grief, but I’ve seen cases where both partners are independent but still be completely broken after the others’ death. Grief isn’t logical at all & is extremely personal.

[dreamers-notes]

I fell in love with the smile of a dentist

All too often we rely on our past experiences and fear new ones. We see the world in the lens of what we have lived through rather than what the present moments can teach us. We are stuck in the mindset that our past dictates our future and that our future is already created thanks to our present. (An introduction about Self discovery from a random article)

There's this guy who studies German in our institute.. I never noticed his presence tbh, but there was this time when we had to sit in class to discuss a matter with my boss and him, that's when my vision changed. I sat in a corner where I only saw his right side. Within a few seconds, I found myself drowning in his sharp beauty and listening to his sexy french/German accent.

Since that day everything changed. Hearing his name mentioned gave me butterflies. It wasn't planned, I was thinking about a whole different thing lately but suddenly everything changed and I started to wait for his session.. Well not obssessevely waiting but yeah I'd feel good seeing him..

Yesterday, I was rushing down stairs when our paths met while he was rushing too. Idk how but he actually greeted me with a wide smile and a friendly tone. It was the first time I see him friendly, he's usually expressionless.

I thought I should check him out on social media and I'm happy I did. It turned out he's a really passionate person about almost everything. He has a girl best friend, he loves his job, he shows love to his friends and family, he sings and plays guitar.

I didn't know he had a session today and I spent most of my lunch break in the kitchen inside.. When I passed by his classroom, I said hi, Idk if it was a coincidence but his answer at first was pretty cold but when he saw it was me, his tone changed and he asked how I was. Well, lately he started having small arguments with my bosses and since then, he stopped being comfortable around them and I thought maybe he thinks I'm better than them since I haven't been nothing but respectful to him and that's why he became a bit nicer to me..

Whatever that was I hope it wasn't a coincidence. Cuz this is the guy your parents would be proud of you for having but as much as this seems funny (since his 7 years older than me and he's known for his strong attitude) I wouldn't mind wishing for this to come true.

Later that day..

I've been thinking about it for a few hours, I can admit that I couldn't get him out of my head.. I tried tbh, I really did but his smile didn't leave my mind.. But I actually got something good out of this and changed my perspective from stupidly falling for another guy to discovering myself in a new way..

I focused enough on his success, not specifically the dentistry thing but his hard work in general.. It inspired me to do better and to be better.. The uncontrollable scenarios of first conversation where we get to know each other, hearing him talk about himself part was easy and clear, but when it came to me, who am I? What's the best thing that defines me? Is it my logistics license? My communication or quality certificate? Is it my English writing and speaking skills? Or my interest in coaching and psychology? 

It's probably not a good idea to be comparing myself to a dentist, especially when I focused on the fact that I love science and surgery and ignored my field which is business.. I really do love science! but the dentistry? Never really got curious about it.. 

I talked with my mom about it and I told her that he's too high for me (Arabic expression), she said that only God is high, the rest of us are all the same whether we're dentists or anything else.. That hit me hard but I still think that my point of view is pretty logical.. 

Another thing that bothered me but still encouraged growth inside me.. The heaviness of having sudden new feelings for this guy felt like pulling me back to the same cycle of one sided love thing.. I thought that I should whether try enough or just let it go.. I seriously don't have time for this anymore.. Enough having imaginary passions and scenarios, it's time to step on this ground and live with people.. My bestfriend suggested she visits him since she had an oral problem, and suddenly I just had an idea to talk to him and ask for an appointment the next time he has a session.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to enter his life in a crazy way and have the guy.. I'm just trying to be a part of his life in an interesting way.. Because Ik exactly what I want and what I can deal with.. This guy is maybe too hard for me to know exactly how to communicate with.. I still need to educate myself and improve my communication skills to throw myself inside such inspiring yet critical people.. I'm not trying to think of myself any less, in fact Ik exactly my worth, but I do still admit that I still need to learn how to confront and stand confidently in front of people who criticize, focus on every detail especially financials and numbers, people who don't let their rights go even if it means fighting cruelly for them. Saoudi is that type of guy from what I saw.. I might be wrong, he may turn out a soft fluffy soul as his Facebook posts show but I still think he doesn't look that easy.. 

Since this matter is mentioned, I am well aware that I have a really big lack of experience with most personalities especially those who are successful and wise. That's why at the age of almost 23, it's still a challenge for me to know how to deal with people and understand their intentions despite the fact that I have a habit of analyzing souls but usually my conclusions come too late when the damage has been done and the impressions are already glued. 

Saoudi is a great discovery for me and I can see God's message in the fact that he has been there for months but it was only now that I noticed the energy that pulled me to this inspiration.. I only have a couple of days left before he finishes his german lessons to learn as many things as possible from this tiny experience and leave a mark behind even if it's just a simple acquaintance (connaissance). See? I'm already learning a lot from this starting with a vocabulary.. 

One more thing to add, this isn't about having a crush on a dentist with a beautiful smile, it's about discovering interesting parts of people and learning the best out of it.. 

[bunny-hoodlum]

Asynchronous With You: Ch 5

ship: naruhina

rating: teen (maybe mature later)

tags: Modern Day AU, Foster Siblings, Family, Angst, Unrequited Love, Poor Communication/Noncommunication, Found Family

summary: An awkward journey full of self-denial and missed moments between two foster siblings. Perhaps their love will find the right timing someday.

Neji met them outside the dorm gates. As generous as his dorm-mate Lee was, he couldn't ask him to step out for their sake.

They followed Neji to a nearby linear park that segregated the school grounds from the business park on the other side. It felt like a glass-less greenhouse, with polished granite beneath their feet and a vine-carpeted roof overhead. The benches were slabs of granite, as were the other fixtures, like an orb fountain in the center, with flawless skin of water running over its surface. The full trees muffled the night, with its crickets and distant chugging cars. The gentle, steady trickle contrasted against their footsteps, like two off-tempo drums and hers a mournful castanet.

Now that they were finally here, she was beginning to lose her nerve, she was forgetting what she had to complain about.

All that mattered was that she was healthy, right? All that mattered was that they were actually taking good care of her.

But the last thing she said to her, telling her to go home, saying that at least one of them should be loved by their parents, it began to eat at Hinata.

Could it be that she doesn't have any love to come home to?

Like resonance, her soul trembled and her ribs ached. The heel of her palm pressed against the skin between her wet eyes.

"I've become like them. I messed up."

The bench caught her before she could sink down to the ground.

"What're you talking about?" came Naruto's voice, barely reaching her ears.

"You mean Aunt and Uncle?"

Hinata nodded.

"What??" Naruto smacked his forehead rather hard. "How were you supposed to act?! They knew where you were! Nothing was stopping them from taking you guys back--"

"We don't know that." Hinata argued.

"Bullshit!"

"We don't," Her shoulders lifted, turning rigid. "They could barely take care of the two of us. It would've been the same if they had to take care of two daughters--"

"What about visits? What's so hard about keeping in touch?!"

She stayed silent. It wasn't that she hadn't considered that, it was that it was too upsetting to ruminate on any deeper.

"Ten years, Hinata. They had to have lied to her, right? Raised her believing she was an only child? C'mon, why aren't you angrier about this?!"

She wasn't sure if it was defiance that lifted her chin, but the eyes she chose to meet were Neji's as she implored him join in.

His eyes closed as he released a pensive sigh. "What's she like?"

"Don't change the subject," Naruto snapped. "Hinata needs to vent."

She prodded Neji with her stare. He shook his head.

"Who are you talking about?" Neji punctuated his rhetoric with a sidelong glance, causing Naruto to bristle. "This Hinata?"

"Yeah, this Hinata. Our Hinata. What the fuck, we've shared the same home for ten years! Hinata! You vent! You vented the other month about your-your shirt!" His face reddened as he brought up, perhaps, the worst example he possibly could.

"I was in a weird mood," Hinata said quickly, giving Naruto whiplash.

"A--A 'weird' mood?! What, like you just felt like messing with me kind of 'weird'??"

Hinata lamely shrugged her shoulders before curling in on herself like an armadillo. She could only imagine how exponential his irritation was to increase. She should've answered Neji's question right away instead of trying to convey her complaints to Neji, because now they were getting way off topic. Which was ironic for Naruto, who thought Neji was the one diverting attention away from her pain.

Neji pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know what the story is, and I don't think I want to know."

"Good. 'Cuz I don't want to talk about it." Naruto huffed as he crossed his arms.

Silence lapsed around them. Somehow Hinata was rather surprised their arguing managed to fizzle out on its own and so quickly. The past was almost laughable in how different it was from the present.

'That's right. It's always going to be rocky at first, but it takes time to get used to one another.' This was proof that she and Hanabi could grow into sisters no matter how much time had been lost.

"Her name's Hanabi. Her favorite foods are bananas and milk, and she hates the herb mitsuba. She's cheerful, cheeky, and surprisingly athletic. And... I really want to get to know her better." The tears fell swifter and harder on her lap as she re-conjured the heartbroken betrayal she had put on Hanabi's face.

She really hoped it wasn't too late.

Neji joined her side and rubbed her back, while Naruto kept his distance.

Even though he had been given Neji's explicit blessing years before, somehow it didn't feel appropriate for him to console her too.

Looking at them now, it was like those two had never grown apart, not even a centimeter. And they had been communicating with their eyes, he was sure of it. Speaking around him, because he wasn't actually a part of this.

They're what real siblings look like.

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Taking the midnight train back home, Naruto spent the next thirty minutes absorbed in the things that amused him, from sexy two-minute shorts, to prank compilations and this one guy from Kaminari that totally bites at rapping. Absolutely no one, neither he nor his 745k followers know if he's a comedy channel where he's bad on purpose, or if he's just gotten popular for all the wrong reasons, but watching him never fails to inspire a deep gut-laugh from Naruto.

Because he wouldn't be laughing this hard if something was bothering him, especially not a whole host of somethings.

He ignored how arriving at their station didn't feel quite right, how following Hinata didn't feel normal.

He was surprised when she finally started talking to him, yet the weariness her voice instilled was not lost on him.

"Who was the first girl you liked?"

"Hm? Oh, guess that'd be Sakura-chan."

"I see. And how old were you when you knew?"

"Eight, I guess?"

"Eight," The number floated from her mouth in an amazed whisper, "Do you think somebody already likes Hanabi-chan?"

A blond brow perked up. "Is this that protective Onee-san instinct kicking in already?" When she giggled, his heart sank.

"I suppose it is."

And when the silence closed in on him again, he spoke up to keep it going. "Uh, what about you?"

Her steps faltered for a second, then picked up with an exaggerated bounce. "There's someone."

"Still? Like, ongoing?"

"Mmhm."

Naruto blinked rapidly, whiplash striking again. How? How did he not know his sister liked someone? "Since when?"

"Mmmm," She hummed that note a little too long that bordered on mocking him, and he was about to storm on ahead of her, until she said, "Third grade."

"What?!" Ineloquent as that was, he somehow expected her to answer him. He stood there as she traipsed away, waiting until he was finally fed up. "Well, who the fuck is it?!"

"Guess."

He jogged after her. "Kiba?" His mouth soured at the thought.

She crossed her forearms into an 'X', making the buzzer sound in game shows when the contestant got the answer wrong. "Bubuu."

"Shino?" He didn't know what to think about that if it were true. Guess they were both quiet and smart and a little weird. Is that what compatibility looks like?

"Bubuu," she went again.

What other guys was she in contact with?

Shikamaru was a good friend who came over to game sometimes, but he definitely didn't sense anything there. No, no way it could be him. And everyone was pretty sure Sai was asexual.

"Sasuke?" Why not? He was the school heartthrob nine years running. Didn't matter whether Naruto understood the taste of girls or not, they all wanted him. He kinda wishes he noticed sooner now, because he imagining a plain girl like her pining for someone unreachable and he really hates that for her. When she slows to a stop under the streetlamp, he thinks he's finally figured it out, though the truth ended up being really anticlimactic in the end.

She half-turns towards him, her face blank save for the edge of distaste clinging to the corners of her lips and eyes.

"Gross."

He reeled back. "Gross? Whaddya mean gross?" She continued on her way, forcing him to jog after her. "Hey, I can't believe you think he's gross! Are you just being a contrarian?" Her pace picked up faster. "Y'know, like what unpopular girls do when they can't fit in?"And faster. "You really think he's gross?" She was hurrying on ahead and he was trying to catch a glimpse of her face, just a little bit of veracity. "Hinata?!"

They arrived at the steps of their apartment.

"You have until graduation to guess!" She called over her shoulder as she ran ahead, her voice pitching high at the end.

She was upset.

Her footsteps resounded through the corridors like frantic clapping, but he wasn't being congratulated at all.

It was finally apparent to him that he hasn't paid attention to Hinata in a long, long time. That's why Neji was making fun of him.

He took the elevator to their apartment, and when he reached the hole between their bedrooms, he got down on both knees and crouched his spine. They haven't used this in years, he couldn't believe how small they used to be, this hole had to be over three feet from the floor. It was making his back hurt. "Hinata," He bit his tongue with a pause. "What happens if I can't guess by graduation?" Nothing. Just silence. "Hinata? Are you not going to talk to me anymore?"

"Yeah," If a ghost could croak, that's what it sounded like. "If you can't guess by graduation, I'm not going to talk to you anymore."

He palmed the wall as he drew to full height, then stepped away, neither urgency nor insult registering in his chest. He didn't know what was in there. Maybe nothing. He raised his voice a little, just enough so that she could hear.

"I'm going to take this another weird mood of yours, okay? There's no way you really mean that."

Hovering for half a second more, he didn't give her time to respond as he headed for his bed on the opposite side of the room.

Maybe Sakura had the right idea about family. Maybe it's better to just find your own.

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AN: Lel, I totally forgot to add the summary and ratings thing in the last chapter. 😜😅 Hope you liked this one!