#ignore the cat ears i was going through something evil /j

[kel-mp4]

teeny express dump

[bastionkeeper]

Write a short story about the first thing you see out the window!

It’s nighttime so my vision was slightly limited so all I saw was the window lit up next door. Also this isn’t a short story anymore cause I went way off the rails and got super into it and it got away from me and now this is a preview for a story I want to write asdlfkjasd;lfkj hope its good please tell me your thoughts guys is this worth writing more of cause I wanna.

The light in the house next door hadn’t gone off for several days now.

Normally, seeing the lights on in a neighbor’s house was no cause for alarm. In fact, one normally liked to see the neighborhood illuminated on a dark night, it brought a sense of safety and a false guarantee that no harm would come knocking on the door that looking to pilfer your Playstation. However, Lacey knew that the old man next door went to bed early, and that he turned off each light in his house one by one at 7 p.m. sharp.

Only one light was on, the one shining in the window across from Lacey’s living room. The only reason she noticed it was that her insomnia had worsened and she found herself spending several nights sitting on the couch searching for a show on Netflix that would fill up the emptiness in her chest with a story.

“Do you think he’s okay, Fizzgig?” she asked her cat, a lazy brown thing made of impressive weight and unmanageable tufts of fur. He was laying on the windowsill, glaring out the window seeing nighttime creatures only a cat’s eyes could see.

Fizzgig had no opinion on the matter, but he meowed anyway because that was just the polite thing to do when a human attempted to communicate with you.

“Yeah, he’s probably fine,” she said. “Maybe it just takes too much energy to get to that room these days, so he just leaves it on.”

Fizzgig batted at moth foolish enough to draw near him.

Lacey moved back to the couch, throwing her legs up on the coffee table and starting her Netflix browse again. However, as she searched for a show, she found herself skimming over titles without reading them. Her eyes kept being drawn back to the light in the window.

“... maybe I should go check on him?” Lacey mused. “I don’t want to do that. That’s weird right? Or is that just neighborly? Neighbors really don’t do that anymore, huh? I say that like I was around for the time neighbors hung out because we didn’t have streaming television. Not that technology is evil, just that it has the capacity for desocialization.”

Fizzgig was used to his owner yowling in such a manner. She got excited easily, and he found the best way to rectify this problem was to hop up onto her lap until she quieted down, her fingers finding their way to the soft spot behind his ear for some quality scratches.

“But he is really old…” Lacey said. “... if he’d fallen and couldn’t get up, and I could have helped him, but I didn’t cause anxiety, and then he died-! I would never be able to sleep again.”

Fizzgig complained loudly as Lacey stood, lifting him in her arms. She deposited him back on the couch and moved to the front door. She was still in her pajamas-shorts worn thin by age and a tank top with a popular anime character on it-but she grabbed a jacket from the hook to throw over them before stepping into a pair of sandals by the door.

“Be good, Fizzgig, protect my stuff,” Lacey said as she left.

Fizzgig watched her leave, before ignoring her orders in favor of chasing after the damned moth he’d decided was his ultimate rival.

Lacey shivered as she walked down the sidewalk and up the rickety steps leading to her neighbor’s front porch. It was strangely cold for a July night, and for a moment she even thought she saw her breath. She drew her jacket closer as she rang the doorbell.

No answer.

She waited a few minutes, then rang the doorbell again, and again there was no answer.

“Hello?” Lacey called, peeking in through the front window. The curtains were drawn, but she could see a bit of the room beyond through a slight gap in between them. Was that the figure of a fallen old man in there or was it just the shadows playing tricks on her?

“I’m not a home invader!” Lacey said, for anyone who might be watching, before trying the doorknob.

The door was unlocked, and opened with a creak. Lacey almost turned tail right then and there, as dark houses and creaking doors were two things she did not want to encounter alone. However, she could see the one illuminated room in the distance, and the thought of leaving someone who needed help scared her a lot more than ghosts.

Or maybe ghosts were scarier, but still.

She tip-toed across the darkened living room, moved through a dark hallway sticking close to the wall as if she could sink into it if danger came.

“Mister?” she called out. “Are you in here?”

She crept closer to the illuminated room, the dining room it looked like. Her heartbeat rang in her ears.

“Ghosts aren’t real,” she whispered to herself. “Ghosts only show up in scary movies and webcomics, and this is real life. I can’t have an origin story I just finished college I’m supposed to go into debt and find a roommate on craigslist and hope I don’t get axe murdered.”

Lacey took her final step into the dining room.

“Oh my god,” she said.

Then she screamed.

The old man was laying on the floor, his limbs bent in a way that didn’t look comfortable and clearly not breathing. He might have been dead. He was probably dead.

That isn’t what made Lacey scream.

“Whoa, whoa!” the floating purple thing in the corner said, gesturing with things that might have been hands in an appeasing manner. “Don’t freak out kid, I just slipped and popped out of my guy, that’s all! No problems here, alright? No one’s gonna get haunted, no one’s gonna die! It’s all good, got it?”

“Ghost!” Lacey accused, pointing at the purple spectre.

“Yeah, okay, that’s rude,” the ghost said. “What if I was like ‘human!’ all in your face, huh?”

“I am a human,” Lacey said.

“Yeah, but I’m sure you’ve got a name I could use instead,” the ghost said sarcastically. “For example, I’m Reggie, hi, nice to meet ya. What’s your name?”

“I’m… I’m Lacey, sorry did you just say Reggie?”

“The fuck is wrong with Reggie?” the ghost asked.

“I just…” Lacey paused, her fear being totally overwhelmed by the absurdity of her situation. “I expected something… scarier?”

“Why would my name be scary just cause I’m a ghost?” Reggie huffed. “You don’t get a ghost name when you die you know. ‘Oh hey, welcome to the spiritual plane, here’s your ghost name, you’re Tralifax the Miserable.’ I got a regular person name, okay?”

“That sounds like an alien name,” Lacey said.

“Sorry, I wasn’t really thinking of ghost names when you broke into my house, I wasn’t expecting to have to come up with one on the spot,” Reggie huffed. “Look… I need you to do me a favor while you’re here, okay?”

“A… favor?” Lacey felt dizzy, like she might fall over.

“First of all, take a deep breath,” Reggie said. “You’re hyperventilating, it’s gonna feel really shitty if you keep doing that. Next, I need you to break this jar I’m floating out of.”

“J… jar?” Lacey stammered. She looked to where Reggie was gesturing and saw that there was in fact a jar laying on its side on the floor. The purple smokey creature that called himself Reggie seemed to have a tail that stretched down into the jar.

“... if I break this are you gonna be free to kill and haunt me?” Lacey asked nervously.

“I mean, no I’m not gonna do that, but if I was I wouldn’t tell you so,” Reggie did something that must have been a shrug. “Take your chances. I’d appreciate it if you helped me but I ain’t gonna make you do something you don’t wanna.”

Lacey slowly approached the jar, glancing up at Reggie occasionally. She picked it up, and as she did Reggie seemed to adjust his position based on how the jar moved.

“... if you kill me, please feed my cat,” Lacey said, squeezing her eyes shut and throwing the jar against the ground as hard as she could.

The jar shattered, and as it did Lacey heard a loud sound like a gust of wind. When she opened her eyes, the ghost was gone, and the old man was picking himself up off the floor.

“Phew, thanks, kid,” Reggie said, his voice coming from the old man’s mouth. “Went and tripped carrying some evidence and got myself trapped. I was like that for days, it was really boring.”

Lacey felt her knees buckle underneath her, and suddenly the old man was catching her before she could hit the ground.

“Look, you sit down here, I’ll make some chamomile and I’ll explain things,” he said, pulling out one of the dining room chairs for her.

Reggie did in fact make tea, and brought it out to the table in a fancy porcelain teapot with matching teacups. He poured them each a cup, and offered Lacey a bowl of sugar cubes. She mindlessly went through the motion of stirring two of them into her tea, and only after her first sip did she speak.

“Do you have maybe something stronger?” she asked.

“What, like Earl Gray?” Reggie asked.

“Like Jack Daniels.”

“Jeez, you kids,” Reggie pulled a face. “Booze is no way to treat a panic attack. Drink your tea and take some cleansing breaths.”

Lacey did as she was told, and despite the fact that she was sitting at a table with a possessed old man, she found herself growing calmer.

“Okay,” Reggie said. “So, ghosts are real. You probably already suspected that but decided to ignore it cause it sounds scary. Sorry, but we’re real. Some dead people have unfinished business and they stick around. Nothing to be scared of really, I mean no more than you’re scared of other people. There’s ghosts of murderers and crooks, sure, but there’s ghosts of accountants and preschool teachers too. Some ghosts, like me, get lucky and make friends with a human that’s about to die totally satisfied with their lot in life. Old Percy here shed his mortal coil and bequeathed it to me so I could conduct my business tangibly on the mortal realm.”

“Wh...what are you saying…” Lacey said.

“Okay, the Sparknotes version,” Reggie groaned. “I was friends with the old guy. He croaked. Gave me his body so I could talk to humans and touch things. Need to do that for my job you see, I’m a spectral investigator and mortal mediator. I save ghosts from exorcists and people from malevolent spirits. I basically keep things nice and peaceful, and sometimes that requires saving some spiritual fellows from nasty ghost traps like that spirit jar. I brought it home to throw it in the evidence locker and tripped and wouldn’t ya know it but with my luck it didn’t shatter but I sure popped right out of Percy and into the trap.”

“You’re a ghost ghost hunter,” Lacey said.

Reggie looked at her with disdain, and sighed.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m a ghost ghost hunter,” he said. “Kinda makes my job look simple and small but if that’s what you wanna call me okay.”

Lacey sipped at her tea, and felt a bit underdressed for a ghost tea party in her pajamas.

“So,” Reggie said, pouring himself another cup. “Now that you know about me-”

“You have to kill me?” Lacey shrieked, standing up so quickly her chair fell to the ground.

“Forget the killing, no one’s killing!” Reggie shouted. “You heard me before right? I’m not the ghost of some murderer, I’m just a person! I’m talking to you, person to person, ghost to living being, and I’m asking you… if you can keep a secret.”

“... you mean, as long as I don’t tell people you’re a ghost… you won’t kill me?” Lacey asked.

“I won’t kill you even if you do tell,” Reggie said, his voice growing a little kind even though he was exasperated. “You helped me out, you’re a good kid, and I’m not a killer. Besides, if you did go around telling people the old man next door is a ghost… they wouldn’t believe you so... this secret keeping thing is really for your own good.”

Lacey cleared her throat, blushing, and put her chair back. She took a seat, making a big show of crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap. She took a sip of her tea.

“This… ghost ghost hunting…” she said. “Does it pay well?”

“Does it pa… kid the fuck are you asking me?” Reggie groaned.

“I’m really short on rent and I’m looking for a side gig to make some extra cash,” Lacey admitted. “And it sounds like you need someone human nearby just in case stuff like this happens. And I’m terrified of ghosts but I’m more terrified of homelessness or moving back in with my parents because let’s be real capitalism is the real horror show here, so-”

“Stop.” Reggie put up a weary hand to stop her rambling. “Just… let me think about it, okay?”

“Really?” Lacey asked, surprise written all over her face. She really hadn’t been expecting anything but a refusal.

“Yeah, really,” Reggie sighed. “Go home, get some sleep-don’t think I don’t see you staying up all night watching cartoons-and tomorrow I’ll give you my answer.”

“Holy shit, wow, okay, cool,” Lacey said. “Cool, cool, co-”

“Stop talking,” Reggie said. “Home. Now. Sleep.”

“Right! Yeah! Sleep. That thing living people do aha… was that offensive?”

“Yes,” Reggie said. “Go.”

Lacey shot Reggie an awkward two finger salute before backing towards the hallway, bumping into the wall clumsily and spinning to face the way she was walking. She stumbled out of the house, and immediately had to bent over and put her hands on her knees as she gasped for breath.

“That was so fucking insane,” she gasped. “Okay, chill. Sleep time. Can’t sleep with adrenaline. Gotta calm down.”

As she straightened and made her way back to her apartment, Reggie watched her from the window. One aged hand held the curtain back as he saw the young woman trip up the stairs and look around to make sure no one had seen, before going inside.

“... well… I’m screwed,” he sighed. “I definitely gotta hire that disaster kid.”

[rainythefox]

Nightfall (Ch.7)

Synopsis: Pre-Resident Evil 1, slight-AU/Canon divergence. Claire Redfield comes home to visit her brother Chris for the holidays but gets caught up in a dangerous game of cat and mouse with Albert Wesker, the Captain of STARS, after stumbling upon dark secrets. She can't call the law; Wesker is the law, and she can't tell Chris. She is trapped...

Pre-RE1/RE2 fanfic. Wesker/Claire, Chris/Jill

Story Link

Chapter 7: The Woman in the Red Dress

It was a slow process to clean Claire's wounds and bandage them. Claire fidgeted the entire time as Wesker tended to her. He scolded her once, but she was more surprised by how gentle and proficient he was in the entire task. Wesker cleaned up the mess in the house afterwards while Claire remained on the couch, arms hugged to her chest, eyes going from her fresh bandages to the STARS Captain moving about. Pain pulsed from her ankle and hand but the wounds were much better now that they were bandaged. She was lucky. She didn’t need but a few stitches in her leg, and her hand had only a shallow gash.

The Doberman lied across from her on the floor, snout resting on one paw, amber eyes flicking from her to his master in the other room. Eventually, Wesker returned to the den, carrying Claire's boots and jacket that she had left on the back porch. He hung her jacket up, and placed her boots by the front door. The STARS Captain sat down across from her, the leather sofa bending to his weight. Odin lifted his head and peered at his master, his elegant, sleek head shiny and clean as he licked his chops. Wesker petted the Doberman around the tall, cropped ears, his dark smile directed towards Claire.

"So, I'm curious what story you plan to give Chris yet again for the trouble you keep getting yourself into."

Claire’s mouth fell slightly open, gawking at him. "You're…j-just going to let me go again?"

Wesker leaned back on the sofa. God were his grey-blue eyes piercing. "You are by no means getting out of punishment, dear heart. Everything you do has a consequence. You have value to me. However, if you do start to become more trouble than you are worth…which you came dangerously close to in your little “breaking and entering” escapade, then I will kill you. And that means dear big brother will have to follow. Do I make myself clear, Ms. Redfield?"

Claire ground her teeth. "Crystal. Fucking. Clear."

He sneered at her choice of words. "Good, so you better start coming up with a convincing narrative within the next few minutes."

Claire thought, mind racing for something believable. In the back of her mind she knew that Chris wasn't going to let this one go so easily. It didn't help that Wesker was getting more amusement out of this than she wanted. How was she supposed to explain her ankle and hand to her brother? A random attack from a strange dog on a normal walk could seem logical, but it wasn't likely, especially without making a scene. Chris would want details and proof. She couldn't just tell him that and expect him to shake his head. Chris would want to know where, what kind of dog, who owned it and what happened to the dog and if she called animal control or went to the hospital.

As she contemplated, Odin got to his paws with a soft growl-turned-whine, nails clicking on the wood floor as he trotted over to the front door. Wesker and Claire looked over just as the doorknob jingled. It opened soon after, and William Birkin stumbled in carrying an armload that included papers and folders, a set of keys, and a canteen of coffee. 

A donut was wedged in his mouth and it muffled his cheerful greeting. "Alright, got the body bags and it’s all clear to dump the body in the sewers below the Traini-” He stopped abruptly as soon as he spotted Claire on the couch.

The eccentric researcher looked between her and Wesker, arms shaking from balancing the mess in his arms as he took the donut from his mouth. He cleared his throat, casually smiled, and decided to say hello to the patient Doberman that was eyeing his breakfast.

"Hello, Odin! No, you cannot have my donut!" He patted the dog’s head and came around to Claire and Wesker. He frowned at his best friend after giving first Claire and then the living room a confused look over. "I thought you said someone broke into your house?"

Wesker sighed. "Why else would Claire be here?"

"Oh, well I'm surprised she's still alive." William produced a small, handsome smile for Claire. “No offense."

"None taken," Claire mumbled, surprised herself really.

Wesker stood up. His powerful, towering form had her heart flip flopping as he moved by her like a silent apex predator. "William, I need for you to drop Ms. Redfield off at her house. I must return to work."

William munched on his donut with a mild glare at his partner. "But I'm already an hour late to the lab! Trying to help you, no less. I mean do you ever think of body bags, Al? No, I do.”

“Then transport this quite alive body back to her home, no body bag required,” Wesker countered.

“Hey. Those spermatozoa are not gonna fertilize those ova by themselves, you know!" He winked at Claire. "I was not describing sex, per se, but that's the best way I can describe it without giving away any confidential details within my experiments."

"It's on the way, Will. Besides, the less chances of anyone seeing Claire and I together, the better. You are a stranger and so it wouldn’t draw as much attention.”

"Yeah, what's she going to tell her brother? That she's having an affair with a married man?" William snorted. He received glares from both Claire and Wesker. "Alright, alright, jeez! But you owe me for this, Albert! Big time! Like pick up Sherry from school for me one day or kill Victor Ulmer because he’s  so annoying for me big!"

Wesker ignored the frustrated researcher and turned to Claire. "Your lives are on the line, dear heart. Better have a convincing story to tell Chris by the time he gets home tonight. You still have no evidence against me. If I were you, I would not want Chris getting suspicious."

Claire slowly nodded, heart heavy and head hurting. She almost jumped when Wesker tenderly ran his fingers through her loose hair falling from her ponytail around her face. Again, her body reacted in tingling ways. He went over to the door and Claire noticed the small, pink backpack once again, the one she used as a shield against Odin, now ripped and torn. Wesker picked it up and shoved it hard into William’s chest, making his friend nearly lose his armful.

“Oof!”

“Sherry’s going to need a new backpack, thanks to Claire.”

William huffed, still trying to balance everything in his arms, glaring at his partner, and hobbled for the front door, mumbling under his breath.

SB...Sherry must be his daughter...

Claire followed William, looking down at the sitting Doberman. The dog cocked his head at her, peering at her curiously. Claire gingerly reached down at petted Odin on the head. He was tense at first but then quickly sniffed her hand and licked it. 

She gave one last look to Wesker, whose intense gaze remained on her. She couldn’t quite define it, his eyes on her felt predatory, but she felt he was going for a different kind of kill…She quickly grabbed up her stuff and left the house, if only to get away from his eyes that seemed to set her blood aflame, and got into William's BMW M3.

**********

The ride home with William was quiet only until the car was out of Aspen Circle before William started gabbing. Claire quickly got lost in his rambling, looking out the window and trying to think of what she was going to tell her brother. After yet another failed attempt to expose Wesker, Claire wondered if she was ever going to free herself and Chris. It seemed Wesker was always a few steps ahead. What Claire needed to do was find a way to get a few steps ahead of the crooked STARS Captain himself. She recalled Annette Birkin’s words when she was in the underground laboratory.

What was it called? NEST?

Annette had warned her to obey Wesker and not try and beat his game, that she would live longer if she did. Living longer still meant she would die in the end. She also said that the three people who knew Wesker the best and could help her escape were William, Colonel Sergei, and Ada Wong.

William was too loyal to Wesker and his research to help her. She glanced at William as he talked about earthworms and something she couldn't keep up with. His loyalty and friendship with Wesker wasn’t forced, blackmailed, or reined through fear or control. Which meant Claire wouldn’t be able to change his mind, whether he liked her or not. And she highly doubted she could find a way to turn them against each other. Both men were insanely clever, and knew each other just as much as they knew themselves. Like how Chris and Jill could almost know what the other was thinking, or could talk with silent cues and looks, Wesker and William were the same way, Claire deduced. It was a shame, for William was probably her best shot…

Colonel Sergei Vladimir, on the other hand, would kill her if he found out about her at all. The incident involving him within the walls of NEST convinced Claire that she certainly needed to avoid him. That was unfortunate as well, for Claire sensed that Sergei was digging for a way to get rid of Wesker once and for all…

And then there was the mysterious Ada Wong. All Annette had said about her was that if Claire had managed to meet Ada then she would be too deep in this mess to get out alive.

How far does this rabbit hole go? Claire was frustrated. Part of her wanted to dig deeper in all of this, find out what they were all hiding, expose whatever conspiracy that hid underneath Raccoon City. But another part of her was willing to let it all go if she could just get away from Wesker and return to her normal life, safe with her brother.

There were risks and dangers no matter what she did, even doing as Wesker said. It was all so confusing and stressful. Claire was lost on what to do.

As Claire pointed out Chris's house, William pulled up against the curb and looked over at her. "Well, here ya are. Good luck with your story for your brother. Just don't tell him it was Bigfoot. I tried that once, it didn't work."

When she didn’t answer at first, still mulling over her thoughts, lost, depressed, the researcher frowned and put the car in park. He sighed, turning slightly towards her. “I wish there was a way I could wipe your memory and let you go. I really do. You’re a nice girl...but...I can’t go against Albert. He’s my brother…He’s saved my life, my family, we’ve been through literal hell together.”

When she looked at him, his smile was small, sincere…piteous.

“I just want my life back.”

He slowly nodded, frowning. “I would take you at your word that wouldn’t tell a soul, Claire…but…”

“It’s not enough for Wesker, is it?”

William lowered his eyes. “That isn’t the problem with him. You unfortunately intrigue him in some way, and he wants to use you for something…something even  I don’t know about.”

“He said I could buy back my freedom if I did as he said. But surely he doesn’t mean that?”

William shrugged. “Albert’s word fluctuates…depends on who it is. His word is solid with me, but could be deceptive with another. Depends on what it gets him in the end, I suppose. I will tell you this…the more he likes you, the more probable his word is truthful. And contrary to what it looks like, Claire, Al likes you a lot. You would’ve been dead a long time ago if he didn’t.”

He noticed the way she flinched. Wesker liked her? Yeah, right… Probably for amusement and nothing more. She was something he could use, exploit…she was a tool to him.

“Yeah, for some kind of twisted entertainment, I’m sure.”

“Maybe a little,” Will admitted with a chuckle. “But he’s way more complex than that. Trust me, it’s a good thing he likes you…play it right, and you and your brother may just make it out of this alive. There’s something special about you, Claire…even I can see that. Al knows what it is, and he’s giving you a chance that he’s never given anyone else. Remember that.”

Claire slowly nodded, her gut twisting and heart somersaulting at the same time from his words. She pulled on the door handle to get out and then paused, looking at the eccentric researcher as he opened a water bottle to get a drink.

“Who’s Ada Wong?”

William choked, sputtering and dribbling water on his shirt. His eyes went wide, coughing as he wiped his shirt. “Uh, A-Ada who? She sounds Chinese. I can’t speak Chinese. Albert can, but I can’t! I don’t know this lady!”

“Whoa, settle down,” Claire replied. “Annette mentioned her when we spoke yesterday. She said you, that Sergei guy, and Ada know Wesker best. How he works anyway…”

He squinted one eye, wary. “As in…to help you?”

Claire shrugged.

“She is the only one to beat Al at his own game.” He noticed the way Claire lit up and quickly added, “ But  they are allies. Besides…she’s bad news. Even more so than Sergei.”

Claire deflated, slowly nodding. Well, it was worth a try. She pulled the car door open and went to get out, but William wasn’t done.

“Take my word, Claire… please. Just listen to Albert. It’s your best bet.”

Claire weakly smiled at him. “Thanks, William.”

She got out of the car and shut the door. William pulled away and drove off. Claire watched him go, a frown slowly taking over. Never had Claire ever felt so alone and lost. If only she could turn back time or wish herself out of this.

But this isn’t a storybook, she thought. No fairy godmother or knight can save me from this dragon…No matter what…I have to protect Chris…

“You didn’t have to come all the way down here just to have lunch with me.”

John Clemens was a simple man. Smart and not bad looking. He was good-natured and not all that ambitious, odd for the type of work he did in the subterranean research department beneath the Spencer estate. Most of all, he was boring. And given the type of men that Ada Wong spent most of her time with, this was what she loved about John the most.

She smiled. “I promised, didn’t I?”

The fancy Umbrella cafeteria had quite a few other patrons enjoying their meals around them. And most were still nose deep in their work and notes even as they ate. John returned the Eurasian beauty’s smile, placing her plate and drink in front of her before sitting down with his.

Ada wore a slimming red dress that stopped just above her knees, black leggings, and black fur-lined boots. A black fur coat and red scarf was sat aside in her seat, as it was plenty warm down here in the underground facility.

“I know, but you just got back from assignment, and well, you should rest awhile.”

Ada sipped on her water. “I’m flattered, John. But I’ll be okay. How are things holding up with you?”

“Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines,” John shook his head. “We’re all exhausted. But making headway.”

“You’ll get through it. You always do.”

“We make do,” John joked. “We aren’t Spencer’s golden-boy like Birkin is. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to work in a state-of-the-art facility such as the NEST. Must be nice.”

“Why don’t you ask for a transfer? You and William get along pretty well.”

“William’s fine when he’s by himself...usually. Not so much with Wesker around. Nothing but trouble, them two together. I want no part in it. People end up dead or missing with them involved.”

Ada jabbed her fork into her grilled chicken salad, smiling in amusement. “Oh John. They’re harmless.”

“Harmless? Are we talking about the same fellas here? You do know that Wesker killed Finley the other day, right? And it’s not the first time he’s sent someone to the morgue. Rumor is he killed Crawford, too. Guy can literally get away with murder and Spencer doesn’t even bat an eye.”

“It’s Albert’s job to eliminate threats. Just as mine. You have nothing to worry about. He’s a teddy bear, you just have to know how to deal with him.” She winked at her lunch date.

John’s brows rose to his hairline. “I…honestly can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

Ada laughed. “Eat your food.”

They both ate their lunch and caught up since Ada had been gone for nearly three weeks on missions. John rambled about mostly boring things, but Ada let him, because the spark in his eye to have someone to talk to that wasn’t work related made her feel good. Made her feel as though she was making his day.

But it soon came to an end when the cafeteria grew quiet, a dark figure emerging into the vastly white-walled hall. Colonel Sergei Vladimir peered around, and when his one icy gray eye spotted Ada and John, he marched their way. John hunkered like a frightened rabbit. Ada sighed, unintimidated and got a drink of her water. She assumed he was searching for her.

When the tall, burly man reached their booth, he only glared momentarily at John before focusing on the female agent. “Ada Wong.”

Ada smiled sardonically at him, bobbing one crossed leg. “Why if it isn’t the big bad, scary leader of the UBCS. How may I help you, Colonel?”

“Due to the recent murder of a researcher and the possible research breach, clearance to this laboratory is written permit only. And you did not get that clearance from me.”

“Hmm…forgive me, Colonel, but last I recall, you're not my supervisor. You have a problem with it, go to Lord Spencer.”

John gave her a look as though she was crazy to poke the bear towering over them.

Sergei only chuckled at her words. “Funny you should mention Lord Spencer. I have a job for you, one he has approved. Shall we, gospozha?”

Ada sighed, frowning. “There goes my vacation. Please excuse me, John. I’m sorry.”

She got up. The simple, boring researcher she actually liked merely smiled and nodded. “It’s alright, Ada. It was nice seeing you. Take care.”

“Don’t overwork yourself, hun,” she said and pecked him chastely on the cheek before grabbing up her coat and scarf and leaving the cafeteria with Sergei.

She followed the Colonel all the way up to the surface and back into the Spencer estate. For the time of day it was, many residents were out and about, coming and going within the labyrinth of hallways and grand rooms. And while Sergei didn’t bother greeting anyone as he led her to his office, Ada wasn’t shy and greeted most people she knew.

Sergei’s office was once a study, turned more into an armory. He had a large mahogany desk with some chairs and he offered her a seat before sitting himself. Ada crossed one leg when she sat, looking about. It had been awhile since she had last been here. Sergei’s choice in interior decorating was still atrocious.

“So, what’s this big, secret mission you want me to do?” Ada asked, half bored.

Sergei placed his massive fists on the desk, lacing them, staring directly at her, expression unreadable. “As you already know, Melvin Crawford was murdered last week.”

Ada contained the urge to roll her eyes. “Yes. There’s been an investigation and there was evidence of him selling classified information, as you’ve stated earlier. So what? He was a threat and a nuisance in my humble opinion.”

“I have evidence and resources that may prove otherwise,” Sergei said. “I simply want to make sure that ‘ol Crawford gets the justice he deserves.”

“Oh, boy. So where does that put me?”

“Lord Spencer recently permitted Wesker and Birkin to eliminate Ned Finley in response to the threat of a research breach.”

“Good for them. I hated that guy.”

Sergei glared at her. “Finley may have also been wronged, Miss Wong. You fail to see where I am going with this.”

The female spy did roll her eyes that time, and she sat more forward next, staring the Colonel directly in the eye. “I know exactly where this is going. You want me to snoop around on Albert, and see if he’s behind any of this.”

Sergei softly chuckled. “Well, in a way, you are correct. But there is something else. Wesker may have a civilian who witnessed him killing Finley under his control. He was supposed to dispose of her, and I have a feeling he never did. I want you to find out if she is still alive and what he plans on doing with her. If she is alive I want you to dispose of her and bring any and all evidence against Wesker to me.”

Ada laughed. “So let me get this straight. You want me to spy on and find evidence against a man who manipulates evidence and does counterintelligence on a daily basis? Sounds like you're grasping for straws here, Colonel.”

“Oh, but you’re the best, gospozha. That’s what Lord Spencer said.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere with me.”

“Well, to be honest, I did have one problem with you doing this assignment. I hear you and Wesker are close. There’s rumors of an affair and everything.”

Ada smirked. “Why Colonel, that sounds scandalous! But a lady never kisses and tells, don’t you know that?”

“Will this be a conflict of interest for you, Miss Wong?”

The agent leaned back in her chair, arms casually melding over the arm rests, a crimson smile concealing secrets. “Of course not. It is my duty to serve Lord Spencer, not matter what.”

Sergei studied her, digging for deceit. But he wouldn’t find it, for Ada Wong was like a chameleon, always shifting seamlessly in disguises.

He finally nodded, expression unreadable. “Meet with Chief Irons. He’ll fill you in on all the details. In confidence, Miss Wong. We cannot let Wesker get wind of this.”

Ada stood gracefully, hips slightly swaying as she departed. “I don’t tell you how to do your job, Colonel, so don’t tell me how to do mine.” She paused briefly in the threshold, glancing back at him. “And seriously, hang a few pictures or get a few potted plants, your office is such a drag.”

She left, conveniently missing the dark smirk on the Colonel’s face and the whispered “zmeya” to her back.

Her heels clicked loudly on the wooden floors of the estate. Ada frowned, knowing she had her work cut out for her. Albert, what the hell are you up to now?

After her morning of pure hell, Claire, defeated, reluctantly licked her wounds while also struggling to come up with an explanation for Chris. When nothing would come to her, she decided to stop fretting and tried to get her mind off of things. She read for awhile, talked to some friends on the phone. Studying didn’t work much. Seemed like survival was more important than college exams at the moment.

After a long, hot shower, she changed her bandages. The wounds still ached, but Claire couldn’t help but be impressed by Wesker’s clean handiwork. The sutures on her ankle looked like a doctor had did them. Still, she did the bare minimum to bandage them. If only to make it look like it wasn’t as bad as it was to fool Chris. It hurt to walk on her leg that the Doberman had bitten, but at least she could do so without limping. She was damn lucky.

By the time Chris got home that evening, Claire had cooked dinner, and it was hot and ready when she heard Jill’s Mustang pull into the driveway. But when no one came through the front door at first, she went to the window and peeked out, ignoring the way her heart rate rose. She ended up sighing in relief, smiling at the sight.

Chris and Jill gabbed away inside the car, grinning and laughing. Chris was extra animated, probably telling some crazy story that had Jill nearly in tears. Claire left the best friends be, wondering if they would ever go to the next step, where she knew their hearts secretly were.

As soon as her older brother walked through the door a bit later, he could smell the meal lofting through the house, fish and rice with salad and bread.

“Hey Sis, that smells delicious!” Chris greeted with a grin as he walked into the kitchen. He slipped out of his utility belt and weapons.

“Thanks!” Claire was relieved to see him, hear his voice. After the day she had, she was craving quality time with him. She decided to save her usual Jill teasing for later. “I thought you would be hungry after such a long day. I hope you like it.”

“Course I will. So, how was your day?”

They started making their plates. Claire calmly shrugged. “Alright, I guess. Just went to a few places, went shopping with some friends.” Broke into your crazy Captain’s house and almost got eaten by his dog…

When she handed her brother his drink, he immediately noticed her bandaged hand.  Shit…

“Whoa, what happened to your hand?”

Claire inwardly panicked, but fluidly shrugged it off on the outside as no big deal. “Oh this? It’s just a scratch. I was a total klutz and slipped on some ice earlier. Was trying some of your cool ice skating moves.”

Chris was worried, but as soon as she joked about his ice skating, he gave her a look. “Ha ha, very funny.”

Her chest exploded in relief. He fell for it. She felt sick lying to him, but she had to keep him safe. She was just glad her bigger wound was hidden under the leg of her pants. She wasn’t about to tell him about that one if she could help it.

Claire playfully smacked his shoulder. “Guess I’ll leave the clumsy ice skating to you.”

Chris laughed. “Nah, I think even I will pass on that.”

The siblings sat down at ate dinner. Chris talked about his day at work. Mostly accidents and paperwork today. He and Jill got into a prank war with Forest and Joseph. Brad and Edward Dewey got dragged into it. Somehow one of the pranks misfired and hit Enrico instead, in which the STARS Vice-Captain vowed payback. Each time Chris mentioned Wesker, Claire flinched. Claire made up her story of most of her day. The truth didn't come out until she talked about what she did at home. They discussed Christmas, which was still a little over a week away. Chris wanted to throw a party. He and Jill were thinking Barry's house, because the man owned the biggest house out of the STARS team.

After dinner, the Redfield siblings did the dishes together and cleaned up. When Chris went to take a shower, Claire claimed the couch and watched T.V. The news was mostly background noise to her, as she slipped into deep thought of her crisis once again. Nearly three days since she stumbled upon Wesker and William on the Arklay trails, and she had yet to find a solution. She was running out of time. Then again, it was starting to look like she really didn’t have a choice other than to do as Wesker said…

“Hello? You in there?”

“Huh?” Claire blinked, looking over at Chris after he waved a hand in her face. He looked slightly concerned, but Claire quickly smiled. “Sorry Bro, was zoned out thinking of college classes again.”

There was a hint of skepticism in her brother’s expression, but he didn’t push it. “I asked if you would mind giving me a ride to work in the morning.”

“Oh sure…no problem.”

They watched one of their favorite crime dramas together. Claire was pulled back into her thoughts, trying to think of an escape. But with what happened with Chief Irons and breaking into Wesker’s house, she feared she couldn’t risk anything else. Chris’s safety was her top priority now. She swallowed…even if that meant giving into Wesker.

She didn’t notice her brother’s eyes on her, the television program left forgotten for the both of them…

At the crack of dawn, Chris slipped into the RPD half-asleep. Claire dropped him off in the truck and drove back home. On auto-pilot, he made his way through the busy main hall and waiting area. He overheard a frantic woman talking with Marvin Branagh about her missing husband. Marvin looked away long enough to give Chris a nod in greeting, and Chris returned it before the police lieutenant wrote down notes on the lady’s problem.

“Please, it isn’t like Ned to up and disappear like this!”

“Mrs. Finley, I understand you’re upset, but I assure you we will do all in our power to find your husband,” Marvin told her gently.

Good ‘ol honorable Marvin. One of the best officers on the force in Chris’s opinion. He left them be and made his way to the break room for a much needed cup (or four) of fresh coffee. There were a few other officers in the break room taking advantage of coffee and breakfast. He mostly ignored their holiday plans exchange and poured some black coffee into a styrofoam cup, steam curling out of the rim and the aroma hitting his nostrils, touching his very soul. He was about to pour himself a second when a uniformed officer walked up and joined him.

“Good morning, Chris. How’s the ace shooter?”

Chris grinned, shaking hands with the older officer. Ralph Hendricks. He lived at the end of the same block that Chris did. The older man was fit for his age. Chris would see him jogging on the sidewalk throughout the neighborhood many times. He had been on the force for nearly twenty years. If Chris remembered right, he was in his early fifties.

"Heya, Ralph! Haven't seen ya in awhile!" Chris greeted as he fixed both his cups of coffee with very little sugar and creamer.

Ralph poured his own cup with a chuckle. "Yeah, just got back from vacation the other day."

"Really? Well, you don't know how much I’d like to take a vacation right now and head south for the winter," Chris replied. “Far south. Tahiti, maybe.”

"Aw come now, Chris, nothing beats dreary Raccoon City winter," Ralph joked.

"No kidding. I think I've seen enough snow for a lifetime."

“Saw Claire yesterday. Didn’t know she was in visiting.”

Chris nodded. “Ya she’s down for winter break.”

Ralph doctored up his coffee with some creamer and stirred it. “Good, good, I know she wasn’t able to come in for Thanksgiving. I saw her get out of a super fancy BMW in front of your house. Didn’t recognize the guy she was with, but he was a bit older. Must’ve been a friend of hers.”

Chris froze, his gut clenching. He didn’t say anything at first, mind reeling back to Claire’s story last night on what she did all day yesterday. She told him she drove the truck around. She never mentioned getting dropped off at the house. And Chris may not have known all of her friends, but "a bit older" man and BMW seemed oddly…unlike Claire. Had she lied to him yesterday? She had been acting weird the last couple of days…

“Oh…maybe,” he mumbled. “Not sure.”

“She hurt her ankle somehow? I noticed the bandages.”

Chris looked hard at Ralph then. The older officer noticed Chris’s confusion. “Oh, you didn’t know?”

Chris quickly covered his inner conflict with a smile. “Course I did. She slipped on some ice. She sure is clumsy sometimes!”

Ralph barely nodded, unsure. He raised his steaming coffee. “Well, I better get to the eastern office and see what’s going on. I’ll catch ya later, Chris.”

“Hey, Ralph…you didn’t happen to get the license plate number to that BMW, did you?”

The older officer paused, turning and looking at Chris. He shook his head. “Sorry, I didn’t. Eyes aren’t what they used to be. I know the guy was blond though…looked like a doctor maybe.”

Chris picked up both of his cups of coffee, nodding at his neighbor. “Thanks, Ralph. See ya around.”

The older Redfield sibling walked the rest of the way to the STARS office half in thought, wondering what the hell he had missed. He didn’t know Claire’s ankle was injured too. She never mentioned it. And then she apparently lied about being dropped off at his house yesterday. Her behavior had been off, but Chris assumed it was the stress of the holidays. Who was the man that she was seen with? And was Claire really telling the truth about slipping on ice?

Don’t jump to conclusions…Claire’s never given you a reason to doubt her.

He was quite protective of her though, and Chris felt those brotherly instincts waking up now, warning him that something just didn’t seem right.

He reluctantly put the thoughts aside as he entered the STARS office, knowing he had to focus on his job for now. He looked around. Jill still wasn’t here, but would be in any time. He saw Wesker, Enrico, and Barry going over some paperwork by the communications panel. Richard, Forest, and Brad were off today, and so he found Kenneth, Joseph, and Edward at their desks, typing on their computers or flipping through folders.

Chris waved at them all, coffee cups in hand, and went to his desk. He sat both cups down and turned on his computer, although he still zoned out, thinking about Claire. It wasn’t until a pen smacked him in the face that he looked up and across from him at Joseph.

“Huh?”

“Geez Redfield, maybe you should down one of them coffees and wake your ass up.”

Chris glared at him playfully. “Shut it, Frost. What is it?”

“I said you look like shit. What’s eating you?”

Chris shrugged. “I don’t know…Claire’s been acting kinda strange the past couple of days. Trying to figure out what’s up.”

“Maybe she’s planning something for Christmas?” Edward offered innocently.

“Oh, like a party or a present?” Joseph asked. “Then again, she is a wild college girl. Maybe she’s getting into trouble. Or running around with an older guy or something.”

“You want throat punched? Because that’s a good way to get throat punched,” Chris warned.

Kenneth laughed on the other side of him. “Damn Redfield, you sound like Burton when I was joking ‘bout his girls hitting them crazy teenage years.”

Barry raised his head in the middle of the Captains. “Damn straight, Sullivan! I don’t even wanna think about it. Chris, don’t listen to those idiots. Claire’s probably planning something to surprise you. Hell, Jill’s probably in on it, too. They’re clever like that.”

“Claire’s a good girl, Chris, you have nothing to worry about, my boy,” Enrico added.

“I dunno,” Joseph said with a shit-eating grin, spinning in his chair towards Wesker, Enrico, and Barry. “Rumor is, Claire gave dear Captain Wesker quite the griping out and practically scared him into giving Chris more time off.”

“Well, now that you mention it, Frost,” Wesker said, taking up Barry and Enrico’s papers. “Ms. Redfield does have more balls than you. Perhaps you should take some pointers?”

“Oohhhhhhh, burnnnnn,” Edward chortled.

Joseph’s face fell, earning him a pitiful pat on the back from Kenneth. “Wow…I feel the love, Captain.”

“So much love, I cannot stand it,” Wesker said wryly as he went over to the filing cabinet by the armory. “At any rate, Chris, Barry and Enrico are correct. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. Best not let the class clowns get under your skin.”

“Class clowns?” Joseph whined. “Now you’re just being spiteful!”

Chris laughed at his team, feeling better. He was lucky to have such good friends and teammates he could count on. “Thanks, everyone.”

They all got to work. Wesker and Enrico retreated into Wesker’s office as they often did to discuss scheduling, meetings, and managing of both Alpha and Bravo Teams. Chris had just signed into his computer when Jill finally arrived, running late. She peeked her head into the Captain’s door for only a moment before she came over to her desk next to Chris. She placed her keys, a cup of coffee, and a half-eaten pear on her desk. Chris grinned at her as she sat down, his previous worries revolving around his sister suddenly dissipating to the back of his mind once Jill smiled at him.

“You’re late, Ms. Valentine! Don’t become like Frost now.”

“Hey, I heard that!”

They all snickered. Jill turned her computer on and took a big drink of coffee. “Yeah, got caught up in morning rush and there was an accident.”

Chris motioned to the half-eaten fruit on her desk. "A pear for breakfast?"

She smacked him in the shoulder, grinning. "Yeah…why?"

"Don't you want something that will actually fill you up?"

"Like what?"

"Well, the good stuff, obviously. Bacon, eggs, toast, etc."

"Yeah, how about you ask Wesker if you can go to the break room and whip us all up a nice breakfast like that?" Jill laughed. She took a small bite out of her pear and chewed enthusiastically.

"Oh, make me one of your fancy omelets, Chris," Barry stated, not looking up from his paperwork.

“Make that two!” Joseph hollered.

Chris glared at his partner. "Fine, enjoy your pear. I'm going to enjoy one of my fancy protein bars."

Jill had a mischievous glint in her eyes. "The kind that tastes like cardboard? Yep, I will indeed enjoy my pear then."

Their peaceful morning doing paperwork didn’t last long before they got a call on an apartment fire. And thus started Chris’s hectic day.

Ada read through Claire Redfield’s profile on her little spy gadget masquerading as a normal pager. She had looked her up on her laptop earlier back at the estate which had also included photos. Chief Brian Irons was one of her least favorite people, but Ada still followed Sergei’s order and talked to him.  Ironically, Irons was unwilling to talk. And Ada was quite sure this had something do with Albert. The Chief told her he was mistaken before and that she should leave him alone.

Normally, getting out of talking to the creep was fine by her, but Ada couldn’t help but feel Irons was hiding something. Despite making her skin crawl, Brian Irons wasn’t one to scare easily, and so that only left just a couple of people that would make his sorry ass be as tight lipped and nervous as a convict in church.

Regardless, Ada didn’t need him to get on Claire’s trail. She watched the Redfield house all day long, having broken into the house across the street. The house was decorated nicely and she snacked on some of the residents’ food while they were away at work. It was quiet and rather uninteresting all day until she saw William Birkin drop the girl off, which really peaked her interest. This has Albert written all over it…

She spied on the college girl while she was in the house, and even after her brother got home. She listened in on their conversations using some bugs she planted. Claire didn’t seem like a threat, just a normal, hard-headed college girl in town visiting her brother. Ada was confused why Albert would be so interested in her. She left quietly and tracelessly once the owners of the house she was hiding out in returned.

The agent returned early the next morning in a rental car, a lonely stake-out just down the street from the dark Redfield home. Once lights started popping on, Ada tuned into her bugs once more to hear the siblings’ conversations. Still, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, even after the two left in Chris’s truck. Claire would drop off her brother at the Raccoon Police Department and return here.

Ada was tempted to send Albert a coded message. They needed to talk. There would be no avoiding it, as she was confused about exactly what he was planning. But mostly because she knew he would find out eventually that she was snooping about.

She would need to talk to William as well, although Ada knew she needed to handle that in a particular way. William was always an extension of Albert, and visa-versa, the two always holding some strange, unbreakable loyalty to each other. Loyalty that Sergei would pay millions to find a way to break...

She decided to hold off for now, though. Instead, she thought maybe meeting Claire in secret could get her more answers. They just needed some neutral ground…

Ada slid the note underneath the front door and slipped away like a phantom, unnoticed and illusive.

[stupidfanfics]

Til’ Death Do Us Part; A Barry Allen Fan Fiction

Chapter 1: Pinch Me

Summary: In the first chapter Monica Bell moves to Central City and (despite being the new girl) quickly becomes friends with Barry Allen.

Word Count: 2097

Warnings: None

(A/N): Yay! It’s finally here the first chapter of my series. Thank you to darlingpetao3 for editing my story. Just as an FYI I’m new to this so if you have any advice please let me know. Also, I’d really appreciate it if you shared this with your friends. Also for anyone new to fanfiction (trust me we’ve all been there) here’s a little key for you: y/n is your name, y/f/n is your full name, y/e/c is your eye color, and y/h/c is your hair color. Ok, I think I’m done rambling. Enjoy!

Love has always been one of those things that has consumed all of my attention and energy. For as long as I can remember I’ve always ‘liked’ someone. Ranging from that stupid crush I had in the third grade to the boy I’ve liked for so long now. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him. I mean how could you not love him? He is adorable, hilarious, super smart, and not to mention 6’1, with hypnotizing green orbs for eyes.

Barry Allen.

The name that has made my heart either flutter or skip a beat every time I hear it, since the tenth grade. You see, my life was very different before I met Barry. For the first eleven years of my life, my mother and I lived in National City. My mom worked as a journalist for Cat-Co while somehow still managing to raise me as a single parent. My life was great in National City; my classmates loved me, my teachers loved me, and during summer, I spent my days on the pier and my nights sitting by a bonfire making s’mores and staying up past midnight with my good friends; nothing was stopping me from living a perfect life. That was until, as my mom puts it, “Duty Called,” and she just had to follow.

So that June, us two packed all of our stuff up and moved to Central City so that my mom could start her job at CCPN. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was on the brink of tears the whole trip there. Although I had the whole summer to settle into my new city and meet new friends, most of my first summer there was spent reading biology books I had checked out from the library.

The first day of school came sooner than I had expected, which caused me to only get about three hours of sleep the night before. Earlier that night, I had settled on wearing a plain blue top and jeans. I didn’t feel like drawing too much attention to myself. Meeting new people has never been my thing.

Central City Junior High was only a ten-minute walk from my new house, but my mom, being the person that she is, insisted on driving me there on my first day. I don’t really remember the five-minute car ride there, mainly because I was lost in my own thoughts 99% of the time. The other 1% was spent twiddling my fingers or bobbing my knee up and down at lightning speed.

Once my mom finally pulled up to my new school, I quickly pecked her cheek goodbye and started my long journey to first period. It was weird being an “Outsider.” I finally experienced what it was like to be ignored, or bumped int-

“Shit,” I mumbled under my breath as all of my new journals fell to the floor (along with an unhealthy amount of colorful gel pens). All I could hear was the evil snickering of a few students behind me as I dropped to the floor with teary eyes to pick up the mess that was just made. I swiftly grabbed a handful of pens before a set of hands appeared on one of the journals. I followed the new set of hands with my blue eyes, up their arms to the face that owned them. Suddenly they were met with two green eyes staring right back into mine.

“Don’t worry about them, they always pick on their prey. I mean not that you’re at a lower rank than them, but you were alone and-” His rambling was instantly cut off by a voice above the two of you.

“Come on Barry, if I’m late to first period Dad’s gonna kill me.”

As soon as all of my things were back in a neat pile the stranger in front of me stood up and apologized to the voice that just spoke. I slowly began to stand back upright when the two of them started strolling down the halls.

“I-I’m sorry for what happened to you... whatever your name is. Wait, I don’t know your name. What’s your-” I couldn’t help but smile at his rambling.

“Barry Allen, I swear, if you don’t start picking up your feet I will drag you through these hallways for the rest of your life if I have to.” And with that, the two strangers, the green-eyed boy, and dark-skinned girl were out of sight.  

As I walked into my first-period class you kept I head down low, avoiding any attention. I hastily took the last seat available (a seat in the dreaded front row) and gently placed my backpack on the back of my chair. Chatter could be heard throughout the classroom until- BIIIING- the bell went off and everyone suddenly fell silent.

“Hello class, I’m Ms. Martin and I will be your science teacher this year. Now before I start my class, I’ll be taking attendance, so please just say ‘HERE’ loud and clear when I call your name.” Ms. Martin went through about eight names, and I zoned out until a name caught my attention.

“Bartholomew Allen.” A hand shot up at the desk to my right.

“Here ma’am, and I go by Barry- Barry Allen.” I heard a few giggles in the back of the classroom as Barry slowly put his hand down.

“Well, okay then, Mr. Barry Allen.” The teacher checked off yet another name on her list. “Next would be, Monica Lucille Bell.”

It felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room. My lungs began to burn and my heart was running 100 miles a minute. Slowly, I raised my hand only reaching the point where the tip of my middle finger reached the top of my blonde dressed head. Unfortunately, even though I was in the front row where the teacher could easily see me, she still stared me down until I meekly uddered out a ‘Here’. Suddenly all of the tension in my body was released and I was finally able to breathe again.

That was until I felt a finger gently poke my shoulder.

I turned my head towards the source of the finger. The stranger held out his hand until I nervously took his hand into mine and shook it, looking into his face.

“H-hi I’m Barry-” he whispered.

“You do know she just said your name like fifteen seconds ago, right Barry?” I questioned, rolling my blue eyes.

“Well, I just wanted to ‘formally’ introduce myself, Monica.”

And that’s how it all began. Little did I know that day was the start of my long adventure with Barry Allen.

After that day, Barry and I slowly grew closer and closer together. About a month into the school year the two of us were inseparable. Barry and I would spend as much time as possible together. Whenever the two of us were around it was impossible not to hear laughter.

Of course, Iris and I were also good friends. After awhile Barry had told me about his mother’s death and how after his dad went to prison he had to move in with Iris and her dad, Detective Joe West. The Wests always welcomed me with open arms, and soon my mom and I began celebrating birthdays, Christmas, and Thanksgiving with them. One of my favorite memories with Barry is actually the first Christmas the two of us spent together...

Central City was colder than usual that year, and the weather forecasters were predicting a 75% chance of snow on Christmas Day. My mom and I decided to stay the night at the West's’ house, seeing that it would be too cold to walk home and there was bound to be a dangerous amount of ice on the roads that night. All five of us had decided to spend our night by watching a few Christmas movies while drinking hot chocolate and eating cookies. I’ve never been too keen on nostalgic or cliche traditions, except for this one. That night was full of laughter, smiles, and hundreds of happy memories.

One being the frosting incident.

After dinner, that night, Iris, Barry, and I crowded into the small kitchen to decorate gingerbread cookies. The house was filled with the warm scent of cinnamon and sugar, and Christmas music from the local radio station played faintly in the background.

“Well, I’m pretty sure my cookies are going to be the best,” boasted Barry, standing in front of his work of art with his hands on his hips in triumph.

“And how do you know that, Barry?” Iris challenged him, carefully piping a snowflake made of white icing onto a golden brown cookie.

“I’ve got mad frosting skills, Iris, that’s why.”

I just stood there, listening to their conversation as I covered my cookie in little white dots of sugary frosting. Until I came up with a mischievous idea. Interrupting the debate going on between Barry and Iris, I gently tapped Iris on the shoulder and quietly whispered something inaudible about Barry in her ear. A smile slowly crept onto her face as she nodded her head.

“What are you talking about, Monica? Anything important?” Barry interrogated me, taking two steps closer.

“Oh nothing,” I said with a bag of frosting in my hand.

“Just that… I’ve got mad frosting skills too...” I screamed as I began to squeeze icing all over Barry’s face. Behind me, Iris was dying of laughter before Barry’s facial expressions went from shock to pure rage.

“Oh Monica,” he breathed, taking a step forward with his hands behind his back. “Two can play this game.”

Instantaneously, he took a bag of frosting into his hands, haphazardly squeezing all of its contents like a water gun, hitting both me and Iris. The laughter and screaming coming from the three of us was so loud we didn’t hear the footsteps hurriedly walking towards the kitchen.

“Guys… What’s going on in-?” A huge glob of frosting was flung into Joe’s face and once all of us realized what had just happened, the whole house fell quiet.

“J-Joe...I-I can explain,” stammered Barry. Joe wiped the frosting off his face and onto the now filthy floor.

“There’s no need to explain Barry. Just make sure all of this is cleaned up in thirty minutes.” As Joe began to turn around, I couldn't help but point it out.

“Oh…um… Mr. West?” Joe stared into my face.

“Yes, Monica?”

I pointed to his face “Y-you…. you’ve got a little frosting in your eyebrow.” Barry started to giggle as Joe slowly turned away, wiping the frosting from his eyebrow with his index finger.

The next morning I was woken up by someone shaking me back and forth

“Mon…Monica.”

I slowly rolled over and swatted Barry’s arm away.

“What do you want, Bartholomew?” I asked, followed by a long yawn.

“First of all, you know I go by Barry. Second of all, you’ve got to go outside!” he exclaimed, grabbing onto my forearm and pulling me off of the sofa. I was half asleep, so I allowed him to continue dragging me to the front door until a cold blast of air sent shivers down my spine. I finally opened my eyes the rest of the way to find an enchanting white blanket of snow covering the neighborhood.

Briskly, Barry let go of my arm and awkwardly ran over to the snow. His face was beaming with joy and I couldn’t help but join him in his sappy bliss. Instantly I ran over to him and both of us dropped to the floor, moving our arms and legs, attempting to make snow angels. For a while, the two of us just stayed there giggling and staring at the cloudy sky above.

“Monica?” I flopped my head to the side to meet Barry’s green eyes.

“Yes, Barry?” I answered.

“Will you please pinch me-?”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on Barry, you of all people should know that doesn’t-”

“Monica, just shut up and pinch me!” he yelled. Quickly, I sat up and took his plump little cheeks in between my thumbs and index fingers, pinching them as hard as I possibly could. Barry squealed and I fell back down into my original position as my body shook with laughter.

“Merry Christmas, Monica…” he whispered.

“Merry Christmas, Barry,” I said with a huge smile on my face.

[diyunho]

The Joker (Jared Leto) x Reader-  “Trick or Threat?”

For Halloween, you and Jared like to borrow kids from your friends and go “Trick or Treat” with them. It’s been a tradition for a while but this year is a little bit different: your boyfriend decided to surprise you with something he knows you will love and he has no idea you have a little something for him also.

You rush down the stairs, eager to open the door: he probably forgot his keys again. Jared wasn’t home when you woke up and sent just a short text:

“Be back around 12pm,” with a heart emoji.

You open the door and freeze:

“Trick or threat?” the husky voice asks and you are stunned.

“Oh my God, Jared ! Why didn’t you tell me?! I would have been Harley!”

“Who the fuck is Jared, woman?!” he growls and you giggle. “Are you cheating on me?!” and J uses his cane to open the door wider and walks inside the house, groping you in the process.

You’ve been begging him to be The Joker for Halloween all year and he refused, saying it’s too exhausting.

“Baby, you really should have told me,” you approach and he looks around, snarling.

“Fancy house, you sure are sooo spoiled,” he ignores your complaint, stopping in the middle of the living room. Jared is wearing your favorite outfit from the movie: the black pants and white shirt from the club scene. You adore it because you think it makes his perfect butt stand out. You get on your toes and wrap your arms around his neck, frantically kissing him.

“Thank you,” you caress the green hair, smiling. “You know I have a kink for your Joker.”

“Watch the make-up, honey. They’ve been getting me ready since 6 this morning,” Jared suddenly emerges for a few moments.

“Oops, sorry,” you back out and he spanks you.

“I’m joking, Princess, Daddy likes it,” and he kisses you again while you can’t stop laughing. “Did you decide on a costume yet?”

“No, I keep on debating. Come on Jared, help me decide,” you jump off his arms, dragging him upstairs.

“Who the hell is this Jared?!” he gets pissed, in character again.

“Nobody you should be worried about, Mister J,” you play along, thrilled he did this for you: if this isn’t love, then you certainly don’t have a clue about it.

“Then why are you wearing this skimpy little nightgown, hm? Was he just here and you had fun with him? I’m gonna kill the bastard!” the tirade continues as you enter the master bedroom upstairs.

“Nooo, let’s not kill him,” you plead, pointing towards the three outfits on the bed. “We might need him later. Sit down and I will get dressed, then tell me what you think, ok?”

“Hurry up Doll, I don’t have all day!” the feistiness kicks in and it gives you a boost of energy.

“Of course, Mister J !” you grab the first item and run inside the walk- in closet to change. After you’re done, you step out and your sexy presence is greeted with a whistle of admiration and purring.

“So you like it…Daddy?” you wink, licking your lips.

“Don’t play with my emotions, you evil woman!” The Joker snarls, talking deep breaths.”I have a thing for nurses.”

“Oh, I know,” you zip down your top, tossing it in his lap.

“You’re wicked, “ he concludes, enjoying the striptease show.

“Oh, I know,” you repeat, now in just your bra and panties, grabbing the second outfit and try to get away but he snatches you and starts kissing every piece of skin he can get his lips on. “Bad Mister J,” you enjoy the pampering then manage to escape. “You told me to hurry up so be patient.”

“Patient?! What does that mean?!” J gets worked up, and you chuckle, getting dressed with the second outfit.

“Taaaa-daaaa,” you come out and he’s standing by the dresser.

“Wooow, Cat Woman! Look at those curves: I approve,” Jared grins and the silver teeth make you weak in the knees. There is something else standing out.

“Are those socks in there or are you just very happy to see me, baby?” you slowly come closer, staring at his crotch.

“They’re socks,” he adjusts his gold chains, grinning.

“Let me see,” you unbutton his pants, stick your hand in there and…pull out a pair of folded socks. You burst out laughing, amused.

“You’re so goofy,” the laughing continues as you pull out… a second pair of socks.

Jared tries not to laugh.

“That’s it, no more socks, the rest is natural,” he whispers in your ear. “Daddy saved it all for you, Pumpkin.”

“Are you taking advantage of the fact that I worship your Joker?” you jump in his arms, pecking his neck tattoo.

“Totally,” Jared shamelessly admits, heading towards the bed with the sweet burden of his existence.

“Are you sure your make-up and tattoos will be allright?” you double check because you are aware how long it takes to get him ready.

“I’m sure; they’re made to last for hours.”

“Don’t you want to see my 3rd outfit?”

“Nope, you can be Cat Woman,” he mumbles, placing you on the bed and has one more question while impatiently undressing you. “You still didn’t answer: trick or threat?” Jared purrs when you take off his shirt.

“Threat !” you moan when his hands go down your waist, cupping the side of your thighs.

“Mmmm, good girl,” that devilish smirk and the blue eyes make you lose it. “Let’s see…I’m gonna steal you from that Jared guy and have my way with his woman all over this house.”

“Sounds more like a treat,” you sigh and squeal when he bites your lip.

“Depends how you look at it Doll,” he grumbles and you dig your nails in his back. “So who do you want: Jared or The Joker, huh?” J licks your swollen lip, finding your fascination with his character irresistible.

“Both, “ you are fast to reply. “Can you take turns?” and you seem so excited and desperate there is no other choice.

“You’re such a perv, woman!” he snickers. “Exactly my type.”

The sentence makes you eagerly scratch his soft skin and the request is quick to follow:

“The Joker first, please.”

“No problem, Kitten,” and he cracks his neck, prompting a very enthusiastic scream from your part.

*******************

You already went to a couple of houses with Jake and Sarah into a new neighborhood. They are siblings: the little boy is 4 and the girl is 5, aka Spiderman and Cinderella. You ”borrowed” them from your friends for a couple of hours for some Halloween fun like you always do.

“Trick or treat?” the children inquire when the door they knocked at opens up.

“Treat!” and they are offered a bunch of candy they stash in their bags.

“Duuudddee!!” the guy exclaims when he sees Jared. “You look like The Joker; perfect cosplay, you really look like him!”

“Thank you,” he puckers his lips, amused.

“Hold on, my wife loves The Suicide Squad Joker. Honnneey!... Emma !! Hey! You gotta see this!”

“What is it?” you hear the woman’s voice and she is mesmerized as soon as she sees him.

“Jesus, you look like Mister J ! Can we take a picture?” she keeps on fangirling.

“Of course,” he agrees, the comment pleasing him.

“I thought Jared did an amazing job as The Joker! I am so obsessed with him. Sorry babe,” she addresses the husband when he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, he wasn’t too bad,” Jared flashes his smile for the picture and now she wants another one with both of you.

“Not too bad?! He was phenomenal!!!” she keeps on praising and it makes you happy.

****************

More walking around, more candy.

“Hey, Joker !!” a bunch of young guys dressed as Hobbits shout in your direction.“Where’s Harley, man?!”

“On vacation!” Jared yells back and it prompts laughter. “I have a bad Kitty with me instead!”

“Hot Kitty !!!” one of them yells and the others start howling.

You hold on to Jared’s hand, chuckling while he admonishes:

“Watch it !!! This is my Kitty, find your own!”

More laughter while they distance themselves from your small group. The kids are already ringing the doorbell from another house.

“Oh, “ the lady gasps in surprise when she notices you two waiting for the cute heroes to return by your side. “ You sure have great costumes! I have to admit that Leto butchered The Joker though,” she nods her head in denial, dropping sweets in the bags.

“Such a lack of talent,” Jared sarcastically admits. You want to say something but he squeezes your waist, signaling you not to.

“Indeed! I can’t believe how bad he was,” she goes on and you are getting irritated.

“The worst ever!” J agrees and you frown more.

*****************

“Why are you silent?” Jared intertwines his fingers with yours, awaiting on a reply.

“That lady annoyed me,” you sulk and he kisses your hand.

“I don’t care, I’m used to it. You like my Joker and that’s good enough,” Jared smiles but you know the negative comments hurt, especially after he worked so hard on the character. Contrary to what some people believe, he is human after all. “Speed up, those kids are far ahead.”

More walking, more chocolate, more candy…

“These stilettos are horrible,” the uncomfortable grimace on your face lets him know.“We’ve been walking around for two hours, I’m kind of done.”

“Just a couple more houses and then we can return our rental offsprings, ok?” J negotiates and you agree.

“Fine, but no more than that; I can barely walk.”

“Must be because you had too much fun having sex with two guys in the same time,” he snorts, teasing.

You lift your shoulders up, your cheeks burning under the mask:

“Can’t help it ! A girl has to have her fun.”

“Daddy will show you more fun after we get home, hm?” the hot breath on your neck gives you goosebumps.

“If you insist…” you pretend to be indifferent but the anticipation is making you impatient. “Can we hurry up?”

“Yeah, no problem,” he pinches your butt through the skin-tight latex suit while Jake and Sarah knock on another door.

“Get out of here: it’s my nemesis!” he turns his attention towards the young boy dressed as Batman coming out of the house to hand out candy with his dad. The 7 year old stares with his mouth open: he glances at Jared, then at The Joker action figure in his hand, then back to Jared, then back to his Joker action figure.

“Amazing cosplay, man!” his father laughs and Jared kneels by his son, entertained.

“Are you following me around, Mister Batsy?” he asks and Batman’s eyes get big. “We are actually friends, you know that, right?”

The boy can’t make a sound, just nods a yes, captivated.

“Here, a token of my friendship,” Jared takes one of his bracelets off, placing it around the kid’s wrist. “Shake hands?”

“U-hum,” the child agrees and your heart melts.

“Awwww,”  you sigh, touched by the scene unfolding in front of your eyes.

“What do you say for the gift?” the dad has to intervene in order for his son to remember his manners.

“Thank you Mister Joker,” the shy voice speaks up and it makes you teary thinking about something you found out this morning you didn’t share with him yet.

***************

“Trick or treat?” you step in the bedroom, wearing something he finds super seductive: two strings, held together by some kind of loop, then your breasts hardly covered by a few more strings and one small bow miraculously still in place. All pink.

“Holy shit, honey! Definitely a treat!” Jared decides on the spot, already in bed, fidgeting with his boxers.

“I was hoping you’re gonna say that,” you crawl in bed, holding something behind your back. “Here’s your treat,” you casually show him the positive pregnancy test and he fights with himself in order to contain the overwhelming happiness.

“This…this is the best treat I ever got in my entire life!” Jared confesses, not being able to maintain character; he still has the make-up and tattoos: they won’t be removed until tomorrow morning when he will drop by the studio.

You nervously blink and start crying, already worried about everything.

“Why are you crying, hm?” he caresses your face and you sniffle when your forehead gets kissed. “This is truly the best news. We don’t have to borrow kids for Halloween anymore, right? I mean, we still can so we can have a crowd,” he takes the pregnancy test out of your fingers, studying the red positive marking for a few seconds.“But…who’s the father?”

“What?!” you rub your eyes, waiting to hear about an over the top assumption for sure.

“Is it me or The Joker? You sleep with both, how do we know?”

This is enough to alleviate the tension and your body relaxes, a big smile appearing on your lips: Jared was counting on it since he noticed how anxious you were.

“I’m not sure…” you answer, watching him hide the test under his pillow.

“Stop fooling around, woman,” The Joker takes over, helping you get on top of him.“You know I’m possessive and jealous!”

“Are you?”

“Extremely! Now give me my other treat!” he yanks your hands away so you can get really close to him. He notices the hesitation. “What now?”

“Can I…can I have my Jared?”

“Ughh, you’re killing me, Y/N,” Jared complains, his voice returning to normal.

“The Joker can wait for his turn, I still want him,” you pull on his bottom lip and he debates.

“For the record, this is harder than any movie script, do you understand?” your boyfriend really wants to emphasize his hardship.

“I think there’s something else that’s harder,” you taunt, grinding against him.

“I swear no socks are involved,” J laughs and you giggle, tracing his jaw line.

“Certainly not,” you kiss him and whisper in his ear: “Are you excited we’re going to be parents?”

Jared’s hands hold you so tight you can’t move.

“I’m so happy…” he whispers back and lifts your chin up so you can look at each other.“But are you asking me or The Joker?”

“Both,” you humor him.

“I’m happy and he feels cocky because he’s a stud and he got the confirmation he can impregnate everything that moves!” the speech makes you laugh like crazy as you slide off Jared, snuggling to his neck in the process.

“You’re such an idiot and I love you to death,” Jared hears as he pulls on all those strings you’ve been teasing him with since you showed up in the bedroom.

“Daddy will punish you for being so disrespectful!” The King of Gotham makes his presence known once more and you protest.

“I said I want my Jared !”

“Don’t care! I’m the one doing all the difficult work here: I have to act, I have to have sex, I have to satisfy my demanding woman, I have to pay attention to all the details, I have to…”

You cover his mouth.

“Fair enough, baby,” the lecture is abruptly interrupted by your candid acceptance and he grins, victorious, while switching off the light. You gasp, enticed: the green toxic hair glows in the dark.

“You like this new turn on my Joker?” he wants to know as he tears the flimsy strings apart one by one.

“This is soooo cool!” you run your fingers through it. “It’s very Halloween-ish,” and his rough kiss leaves you breathless.

“Shut up and let me enjoy my treat, woman!” J growls and your comeback delights him:

“I’ll do whatever you say, Mister Joker.”

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[scifihorroradventure]

ELVES (1989)

When Kirsten (Julie Austin) and her friends head into the forest to perform an "anti-Christmas ritual," she inadvertently raises an elf from the depths of Hell. The elf wanders about the small town, moving around in secret, killing the occasional townsfolk. Kirsten, meanwhile, has to put up with her abusive mother (Deanna Lund) and eccentric, wheelchair-bound grandfather (Borah Silver). As ex-con Mike (Dan Haggerty) tries to go straight and gets himself a job as a mall Santa, former Nazis arrive at Kirsten's house and begin discussing past doings with her grandfather. When Kirsten, Brooke (Laura Lichstein), and Amy (Stacey Dye) break into the mall they work at for some late night fun, they run into Mike and all come under attack by the Nazis and the elf. Brooke and Amy are killed and Kirsten and Mike try to figure out what's going on. Kirsten discovers that her grandfather is actually her father while Mike seeks out the origins of the elf and how it figures into the Nazis' supernatural plan to conquer the Earth with an army of human/elf hybrids. Caught between an elf that wants to mate with her and Nazis that want to ensure it happens, Kirsten fights to escape her twisted destiny.

Clearly an attempt to cash in on the craze of films about miniature monsters such as Gremlins, Critters, and Ghoulies that were popular at the time, Elves is an utter abomination of film. There are no likeable characters, almost all the scenes are barely even lit, the effects are bad, and worst of all, it's boring - And for a movie involving a killer elf, Nazis, and incest, that's a hell of a feat. To begin with, the title is a lie. There are no elves, only a single elf, an elf that is never really shown. We occasionally see its face in extreme close up, or its arm reaching out to grab something, but we never see the full elf in action. Though perhaps that's for the best, as each time we see the elf's face it is painfully stiff and expressionless. Perhaps most bizarrely about the film, even though it takes place during Christmas and revolves around a killer elf, the obvious connection between the two is never made by anybody. One would expect Kirsten or Mike to say "I thought elves were cute little people who work for Santa," or for Dr. Fitzpatrick or Professor O'Conner to say something along the lines of "People these days think elves are short people with pointy ears who make toys for Santa Claus, but that isn't true at all. Our perception of them has drastically changed since the olden days," but nothing like this ever comes, with everyone instead talking as if elves are universally agreed upon as being ugly little demons, which is just noticeably off in a film like this. Even movies like Santa's Slay and Jack Frost weren't foolish enough to ignore their monsters' connection to the holiday.

Another big problem are all the long stretches where nothing happens, or the things that seem as if they're going to be ongoing subplots only to fizzle out before they even get started. The film opens with Kirsten performing an anti-Christmas ritual, only for her to apparently be back into the holiday for the rest of the film. Kirsten's mom kills Kirsten's cat only for Kirsten to never find out. There's the a-hole store manager at the mall who never gets killed by the elf or really becomes an obstacle to our heroes. There's the police officer who might suspect Kirsten of the elf's killings but it's never pursued beyond his first scene. There's the bit with the tape on the door that allows Kirsten and Mike entrance to the mall at night. The film spends a lot of time on these things and they all result in nothing.

Julie Austin plays heroine Kirsten and she's okay at best. She's not outright unlikable, but she doesn't really do anything to endear herself to the audience, either. She's just sort of... there. Visually, she's reminiscent of Amy Steel from Friday the 13th Part 2 and April Fool's Day and that's about all she really brings to the table. It's also a little ridiculous that the film keeps treating her like she's a teenager because she’s clearly in her mid thirties. Dan Haggerty of Grizzly Adams fame plays Mike "Santa" McGavin, Kirsten's only real ally in this elf-related chaos, and again, all we really get from him is that he's a nice guy. He's not a bad or useless character (in fact, Mike does nearly all the work when it comes to researching the elf and how to stop it), just not a very fleshed out one. Also, maybe he dies at the end of the film? It's not really clear. Deanna Lund as Kirsten's mother, meanwhile, pulls off the impressive feat of becoming an even bigger hate sink than Nazis or a killer demon elf. Hating Kirsten with a force that would make the Evil Stepmother from Cinderella blush, Kirsten's mother is downright reprehensible in her hatred of her own daughter, even going so far as to kill Kirsten's cat while she's away. True, we eventually get a reason as to why she's so mean, but it's far too late to make her sympathetic, and it's never explained why she's even still living with her elf worshipping, daughter raping, Nazi father in the first place. Laura Lichstein and Stacey Dye as Kirsten's friends Brooke and Amy respectively provide a couple laughs, but they're killed off halfway through. Dr. Fitzpatrick and Professor O'Conner are fun enough eccentric monster expert types (mainly Dr. Fitzpatrick), but they too are only featured briefly. Like the quickly discarded subplots, if a character might be interesting or fun to watch, the movie quickly does away with them.

Ultimately, Elves is a chore to watch. It has enough going for it in its premise that it should be a fairly entertaining watch - Not good by any means, but fun in a bad, cheesy horror movie type way. But instead it just squanders what it has and feels like it does everything it can to make you dislike it. The film is just filled to the brim with unpleasantness and feels roughly twenty minutes too long. Even among stupidly bad Christmas horror movies, this is one entry in the genre that should forever remain wrapped.

Rating: ★

Cast: Julie Austin ... Kirsten Dan Haggerty ... Mike McGavin Borah Silver ... Kirsten's Grandfather Deanna Lund ... Kirsten's Mother Mansell Rivers-Bland ... Rubinkreuz Laura Lichstein ... Brooke Stacey Dye ... Amy Christopher Graham ... Willy Allen Lee ... Dr. James Fitzpatrick Paul Rohrer ... Professor O'Conner

Director: Jeffrey Mandel. Producer: John Fitzgerald (executive producer), Jerry Graham (executive producer), Dan Haggerty (associate producer), Al Loberger (line producer), Dale Mitchell (executive producer), Mark Paglia, and Michelle Werry (line producer). Writer: Jeffrey Mandel, Mike Griffin, and Bruce A. Taylor. Music: Vladimir Horunzhy. Special Effects: Ken Brilliant (sculptor: close up elf), Evan Campbell (creator: fetus elf / designer and sculpturer: elf fetus), Patrick Denver (radio control mechanics: elf), Jane Dispersio (additional special effects crew), Tim Drnec (special effects coordinator), Vincent J. Guastini (designer: elf / sculptor: elf / shop supervisor / operator: elf, second unit), Joe Macchia (additional special effects crew), Mike Rios (chief technician / operator: elf, second unit), Brian D. Veatch (special effects), Ken Walker (mechanics: close up elf), Linda K. Wilson (manager: Fantasy Workshop), Gary Yee (additional special effects crew), Evan Campbell (sculptor, uncredited), Bryan Sisson (special effects assistant, uncredited), Lynn Cress (special visual effects), Tom Matthies (visual effects: apocalypse sequence), and Tom Richardson (special visual effects).

[airadam]

Episode 126 : None More Black

"These evil streets don't sleep..."

- Pharoahe

Here's an idea I've been holding for a while - an episode showcasing Hip-Hop tracks that took a rock sample or influence! I thought it'd be an interesting one to select and mix without reaching for the most obvious standby picks, and we've got tracks spanning almost thirty years at the extreme ends. Don't worry, the guitars come along with plenty of bars and beats!

Links for the month... Michelle Grace Hunder - wicked music photographer!

The Flyest Xmas party on Dec 20th, featuring The Soul Twins

Twitter : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Ice-T ft. Jello Biafra : Shut Up, Be Happy

One of those tracks that seems more relevant now than ever, this was the opener on Ice-T's underrated 1989 album "The Iceberg". A great marrying of elements, as Jello Biafra of the punk band Dead Kennedys delivers a totalitarian announcement (based on his own "Message From Our Sponsor" over a Black Sabbath loop. I couldn't put this anywhere but as the intro to the episode!

Camp Lo : 82 Afros

Kicking the pace up a touch, we move straight into a killer Camp Lo cut from the "Black Hollywood" LP, with Ski cooking up a banging rock-based beat. The kick and snare are straight boom-bap, but the toms add an unexpected extra element on top of the distorted guitar and vocal sample. Cheeba and Geechi might be known for their smooth styles, but this is just one demonstration of the fact that they can get busy over any kind of beat.

J-Zone : Moonwalk / Gel N' Weave Remix (Instrumental)

I was struggling to find just the right instrumental for this spot, but went back to "The Headband Years" to find this beat from a producer who could make a beat our of almost anything. He's full-time on his funk drumming now, but has a great catalogue of Hip-Hop that can't be fronted on.

Kobaine : Ko.Bain

This is an artist I know very little about, as as far as I'm aware this is his only release to date, a nice little contribution to the 2002 "Subway Series Vol.1" compilation on Major League Entertainment. I got this on digital release which had no credits included, so I'm not sure who produced it - I can imagine it being a Nick Wiz or Tribeca track though.

Agallah : Ag Season

Brownsville's Agallah has often channelled the rockstar vibes in his career, and this woozy-guitared track from "Bo : The Legend of the Water Dragon" sounds entirely natural for him. Self-produced as always, it's short, rock solid, and to the point.

Fabolous : Breathe

Fifteen years old, already? This was a huge single for Fabolous, taken from his "Real Talk" album, and is one of his best-known tracks even after all these years. Just Blaze laced him with a beat based around Supertramp's "Crime of the Century", and got a surprise when Fab told him he'd written his lyrics around the "breathe" vocal sample on the track...because that's not what it said! However, on hearing the bars, Just went back and made some changes to align the audio with what Fab thought he heard!

Ras Kass ft. Killah Priest : Milli Vanilli

Ras Kass' "Quarterly" was collection of tracks he released once a week, finally brought together in late 2009 - and there are some great cuts in there. Here's one, with Veterano's beat sounding like a cybernetic heavy metal group trying to destroy the speaker stack! Ras cuts through it regardless, and special guest Killah Priest (fellow member of THE HRSMN) matches him bar for bar as always. The hook of course channels the then-recent Lil Wayne track "A Milli", which was a heavily-used beat for freestyles around this time.

Body Count : C-Note

This was one of the shorter and gentler tracks on the debut Body Count album, but was always one of my favourites - Ernie C makes that guitar cry for real. Ice-T's metal project was waved off by some doubters in the beginning, but the music was solid from their first appearance on the "OG: Original Gangster" album and they're still killing it to this day.

Bumpy Knuckles : Swazzee

This one is so aggro, you have to love it. Seriously, you'd better. Bumpy Knuckles is in fine form on this guaranteed weight-training motivational track from "Konexion", taking out sucker MCs, snitches, haters, and pretty much everyone else. The hook is reminiscent of an old Sly Stone cut, and Knockout's beat is ferocious - precise, measured drums with the harsh guitar over the top. Bumpy might be the king of the third verse but a track like this lets you know he can handle the first two just fine!

Public Enemy : Go Cat Go

The "He Got Game" soundtrack was unfairly overlooked by too many heads, but is an absolutely worthy entry in Public Enemy's long and storied discography. Chuck D's political awareness and love of sports (he actually wanted to be a sportscaster at one point) combined for a really interesting listen. Jack Dangers of Meat Beat Manifesto and Danny Saber of Black Grape cover this one in heavy guitars which would drown out most MCs, but not Chuck! As the album subtitle says, this one is about the game behind the game...

Boogie Down Productions : Ya Slippin

It's hard to think now of BDP being a crew with a future in doubt, but this is how it was back in 1988 as "By All Means Necessary" was released, not long after the murder of founding DJ Scott La Rock. KRS might be young here but he rhymes with the confidence of someone who left home as a child to become an MC, survived homelessness, and achieved his goal. He scolds weak MCs like "The Teacha" he is, and gets down on the production too - the rock heads will recognise this guitar sample a mile off!

Pharoahe Monch : Got You

Shout out to Vicky T for reminding me of this tune! The lead single from the "Training Day" soundtrack is one where I think the radio version (as heard here) surpasses the original. Monch perfectly encapsulates the essence of Denzel Washington's character, who is one of the classic movie villains of modern times - and strikingly, is based on real police.

[J-Zone] Boss Hog Barbarians : Celph Destruction (Instrumental)

Zone again, and while it one didn't come to mind immediately, the aggressive sonics of this instrumental get it the nod here. The Boss Hog Barbarians (J-Zone and Celph Titled) album is an absolute tribute to ignorance (intentionally), but if you can deal with that then it's an excellent addition to your collection.

LL Cool J : Go Cut Creator Go

Another 80s classic hard rocking track, from LL's "Bigger And Deffer" album. It's the kind of track we don't get now - the MC just bigging up the DJ. DJ Cut Creator was with LL from the very beginning, and was the one who actually helped him to get him name known, so it's nice to hear the appreciation. The scratches still stand up today and cut through even the loudest of the guitar samples on the track!

Sly Boogy : Fatal Mistake

Sly may not have put anything out for a while, but the San Bernadino native did drop a few nice tracks in the early 2000s. This one has him totally disregarding the common standards of Hip-Hop song structure, opening up with a thirty-two bar first verse just to show he's not playing. DJ Revolution provides the cuts, and production is courtesy of a then-emerging Jake One. This actually doesn't have a rock influence, but is here because of how well it goes with the next instrumental...

[Rick Rubin] Jay-Z : 99 Problems (Instrumental)

The combination of this and "Fatal Mistake" is one I discovered while doing a mix years and years ago, and wanted to bring out again when the opportunity arose! You probably all know the vocal version of this track, which appeared on Jay-Z's "The Black Album". While working with the legendary Def Jam co-founder and producer Rubin, Jay said he wanted something like the flavour he used to give to the Beastie Boys and this was the result - a meshing of several ideas that came together perfectly.

Public Enemy : She Watch Channel Zero?!

Let's be real - the sexism is heavy on this track! It'd be entirely reasonable to argue that spending all day watching sports on TV isn't any better than soap operas, but that's just my opinion :) 1988's "...Nation of Millions..." yields this song which had an interesting connection - sampling the group Slayer, who were produced by Def Jam founder and major PE supporter Rick Rubin. 

Lacuna Coil : The Game

Going pure rock on this selection from this veteran Milanese gothic metal band! I actually learned about this group from "Guitar Hero" of all places, and "Our Truth" led me to the 2006 "Karmacode" album that included this track. It always reminded me a little of "Channel Zero", and while the guitar riffs are definitely fire and the drums bang, it's the combined and contrasting vocals of Cristina Scabbia and Andrea Ferro that can't fail to grab your ear.

RJD2 : Exotic Talk

Prog rock meets Hip-Hop sensibilities as RJD2 twists and turns, chilling things out in parts before bringing the thunder crashing back in. Definite standout from 2004's "Since We Last Spoke".

Z-Trip : Rockstar

We close with a standout track from the "Return of the DJ, Volume II" compilation, with Phoenix's Z-Trip putting together a masterpiece of DJ/producer song construction. The sample list is long, and since I don't know what was and wasn't cleared, I won't give anything away here!

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!