#ignore that i am screencapping him in the new hair

[starmocha]

Progress. 🙂

[streets-in-paradise]

Hi!!!

I was wondering if you would be willing to write a small fluff of waking up in morning with Briseis? Preferably with a female reader but I also understand if you aren't comfortable writing girl x girl.

Hugs! Ty <3

Of course, my friend!!!

First Briseis request, I am so excited!

Sorry it took me so long, coming and going heat waves plus my overall mood had made it hard to keep up with a consistent writing rythm.

Hope you will enjoy it 💕

Rosy-Fingered Dawn - Briseis x (Fem)Reader

Warnings: princess x handmaid romance that finds realization in captivity, morning in bed fluff.

Summary: For many nights you have fallen asleep in your princess' embrace, sheltered in the secrecy of her trojan bedroom. In the greek camp, where the hierarchy once dividing you doesn't exist anymore, you wake up one morning holding the woman you love.

Note: credits to @saradika-graphics for the cute divider and @90s-kid-sad-adult for the screencap.

In your arms she found a taste of home, an inversion of your secretive routine back in the palace of Troy before the greeks have made you their captives. You weren't kids anymore, but your princess kept inviting you to her bedroom at night as if being her handmaid meant you could affort continuing those odd habits only allowed to scared children. Briseis used to hold you like if you were her doll, tenderly yet not possesively, and you enjoyed every instant of it at any given chance she would suggest it. The privilege of such intimacy had you consuming in the longing for a love you believed impossible. Once she had choosen priesthood, it never occured to you that her devotion to Apollo was not the only factor in consideration.

Briseis had always loved you and she had decided that, if she couldn't be with you, the sun god was the onlyone worthy of her. Like the goddess of the Moon that once fell for a mortal she could only visit asleep, she limited herself to chastely lay with you in order to not break her vow. Distant to you as the moon she was, but in base of her rank instead, and you comformed.

The many dangers implied in your new shared life and the elimination of barriers between you had called you to acknowledge the situation. Since you only had each other, the love for so long denied was your only potential strenght to survive. Hitting rock bottom becoming a slave of the myrmidons have made you careless for all your past inhibitions as the world those belonged in vanished in front of you every day. Even ríght after meeting your new master, you merely awaited for him to leave in order to comfort your princess with a surprisive but sweet stolen kiss. Wordless love declaration and expression of your rage about the shameless ways of the man.

Achilles, blond haired leader of the worst savages in the greek army, introduced himself stripping in front of you and taunting Apollo as if he tried to prove himself more manly than the god himself in the eyes of your princess. He promised you both would remain unspoiled, but his attitude made you think he was playing guess which one of you would give in first to willingly share his bed.

Ironically, it was precisely on his empty bed where you finally laid with her during one particularly prolonged absense of his. As a guest of his dear friend Odysseus he abandoned the section of the camp that belonged to him, carefully ordering first a protective measure forbidding his men from disturbing you. Unsuspectfull of what could happen, he left you served with a good meal to have in his tent and get yourselves comfortable anyway you pleased.

Ignoring the terrible context, it worked almost as the settling for a date when using your imagination in the proper way. Near the end of it a flow of kisses, caresses and lovefull praise words landed you exactly where you shouldn't. Unleashing your passion on the master's bed was never your intial intention, but your making out session kept escalating on intensity and the lack of outside interruptions didn't help at all.

She was yours as you were hers, years of longing finally consummated, and no greek would ever steal you that. Rosy-fingered dawn found you tangled in lovefull embrace, and in that oportunity you were the one clinging to her like if your own life depended on it.

As Briseis laid on her back in calm sleep, you woke up curled against her with your head resting on her chest.

" Good morning, princess. "

Her title came out from your lips more as a cute nickname than as an acknowledgment of her royal identity. At that moment her sleepy eyes slowly opened for you and the lovely sight made you feel the luckiest woman alive.

" Am I still a princess?" She teased you in return. " Certainly, not a priestess anymore. "

Rushing to reassure her from any possible guilt over what you have done, you reminded her of the context surrounding your actions.

" The temple was destroyed and sacked, Achilles thinks he is all we have left. He is the one competing against Apollo for your attention, not me. "

Your naivety amused her as much as the conclussion.

" It has always been you, the only mortal stealing my heart. Giving myself to religious worship was the only alternative that made any sense to me if I couldn't have you. "

" … And now we have lost everything, but each other. " You completed for her, then pressed a peck on her chin. " The gods have played us, granting our wishes at the expense of so much suffering. "

" You sound like my cousin. " She mocked you again. " … Look at what your love has done to me, I am now afraid of starting to understand him."

You settled yourself higher only so you could properly capture her lips for a full blown kiss, the first of the morning. Her lovely giggles released once she finished gasping for air were music for your ears.

Little did you care about the outside world, wishing the moment would last forever. Encouraged by your own cute sillyness, Briseis forgot you weren't precisely locked in the safe privacy of her trojan bedroom. Sounds of footsteps could be heard at any moment nearby from the coming and going soldiers watching night and day. Nobody had bothered you, for the fear that your master inspired was well enough warning against it.

Laying on top of you as she filled every corner of your face with kisses, precisely her as the less innocent one of the image yet fortunately well dressed, was how you accidentally got caught by him at his arrival.

A sudden silence reigned and you quickly raised up, distancing yourselves as if you were Helen and Paris found by Menelaus himself. Even more famous than the spartan king because of his anger, Achilles was not someone that anyone in their right mind would seek to enrage. After the great care he put in the task of proving he didn't represent a danger to you, finding the women that were given to him for his amatory amusement entertained on each other could have represented a potential source of frustration-driven anger.

Anyone would have sensed your fear, but he simply ignored the tension and smirked to himself before proceeding to tease you in the most harmless way he found.

" So this is why I have been blatantly ignored ... I knew I couldn't be losing my charm. "

[wigglebox]

The real Team Free Will

HELLO! I have emotions and thoughts. 

Over a feather. 

(screencap first seen on @jensensitive​ post)

(please keep in mind I’m very tired, may have missed some points, and my brain doesn’t work too much in deep deep meta way)

At first I was agreeing with the theory that omg-- Lucifer!Sam? Because in the ‘Last Ride’ trailer you see Sam in that (hnnnghh) white suit. 

But then I also started seeing theories that it’s Cas’s presence on the table. 

So why TF is that there but not another POP! figure? The room is full of them. 

I woke up this morning with the conclusion that yes, it’s meant as a Cas reference. And I also woke up convinced that he’s really gonna be the cause for God’s downfall. (and @skuldugg3ry96​ spoke with me back and forth this morning so thank you!)

God has a habit of not focusing on Cas, and that’s going to be his own damn problem in the future. Cas has already ‘ripped up’ one of God’s endings, there’s nothing to suggest he won’t do it again. God (I know it’s Chuck but I’m calling him God in this piece) only focuses on two people: Sam and Dean. Cas is an afterthought. Yeah, he’s rebuilt Cas here and there, but really was he anything other than just a fun distraction? 

You have God repeating his mistakes the first time around with the apocalypse stuff, ignoring the “spanner in the works”. But Cas was reset back to factory settings repeatedly over his existence, meaning he’s really this weird agent of free will, constantly being engaged with it and making choices that are against the pre-programmed, do as we say, Angels. 

So what am I talking about when I say “the real team free will”? 

The Empty: Either a character or an arena, regardless, can’t be influenced or touched by God. He has no say there, and as a character, no say over them. He can’t write The Empty doing this or that -- the Empty is its own agent of Free Will. 

Billie: Death can reap God if I can remember correctly. Death operates independently of God if they choose. God may want to select who’s going to die and when, but Billie has made her own choices as well. I’m remembering in Advanced Thanatology she literally as her reading room of books of people’s “fate”. And she’s almost like an agent of free will to Dean as well:

���[...]  every notebook on this particular shelf tells a version of how you die. You specifically, heart attack, burned by a red-haired witch, stabbed by a ghoul in a graveyard, and on and on. But which one’s right? That depends on you, on the choices you make.”

But, to be fair, she kind of retracts his choice in the moment saying he doesn’t die today. And then also indicates she’s had her eyes opened to the bigger picture. 

My conclusion, she knows the overall picture and wants people to move in that direction, but still acknowledges people have a choice. Also, she works (I hope I pray I believe) independently from God.

Jack: Jack tore through space and time and created a rift into multiple of God’s rough drafts and abandoned works. God doesn’t like him, and wanted him killed at the end of 14. Jack is the hybrid of a human and an angel - symbolically at least, the hybrid of free will and do-as-you’re-told. He pushes our boys in OG TFW to make their own choices. Dean chose in the end not to kill Jack etc etc.

Cas: Do I really have to explain this? Also, he chose to move on at the end of 15x03, breaking his circle of repeated mistakes.

Cas still has a deal with the empty which I suspect will probably be touched on in 8,9, or 10 (or maybe all three!). 

These characters to me, right now, scream ‘Team Free Will’. They’re the ones pushing TFW to make their own choices, whereas God sits at a desk, only focusing on Sam and Dean and shoves Cas aside like he’s a used toy. 

God ignoring Cas and (I believe) not influencing his decisions will literally be his own personal downfall to his deep, dark, depressing ending.

The good news is that God gave away the ending, and we know he’s telling the truth because Becky confirmed it. And, it’s clear he’s only focusing on Sam and Dean which means the series won’t end with just those two, and (hopefully) won’t end very depressingly.

Because you got these real Team Free Will characters in their life as well to counter God’s vicious plan.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Episode #100 Highlights!

That’s right: 100 EPISODES. That’s a lot of great questions, greater answers, questionable pronunciations of usernames, even more questionable uses of overlays, and a++++ excellent dogs. 

The entire cast is answering questions this week!

Max runs an (adorable) intro in the above puppet theater, and each cast member gets a title. Laura is The Heart, Sam is The “Funny Guy”, Travis is The Brawn, Liam is The Actor, Matt is The Brains, Marisha is The Face, Taliesin is The Pyramid, Brian is The Convict, and Ashley is The Favorite.

The cast’s entrance is majestic. There are balloons, sashes, tiaras, and champagne. Henry has a tiara too!

The Search for Grog will air this Friday, February 22 at 7 PM Pacific on twitch.tv/criticalrole. If you miss the stream, it’ll be available Saturday morning on CR’s YouTube channel!

Talks Machina and CR will air on CR’s official channels starting today! Starting next episode, TM will be available on CR’s YouTube channel on Thursday at 7 Pacific, and also in podcast form!

Stats: in 100 episodes of TM, there’s been 81 episodes of Brian’s glorious beard. There have been 9 Skype/FaceTime call-ins! There were 244 guest misnomers before that well ran dry. 93 episodes of pre-show hijinks (thanks to Max James!). 95 episodes of Arsequeef. 826 days of being on the internet!

Brian: "The concept of creating a talk show about a D&D campaign has always been absurd to me, so we wanted to embrace that terribleness.”

There’s now a Steve Cam (quietly reading, meal prepping, and ignoring the show), and a Zach Cam (staring at a monitor that’s all just Liam’s chest hair and the Fjord bust), and a Max Cam (dancing in a stripper cop outfit), Lockey Cam (practicing with a sword in front of a mirror and then charging at Daniel for filming it - Brian: “Hopefully Daniel’s non-union.”), Ed Cam (drinking scotch and counting down the days until football returns, and also lint rolling his new goatee), Chris Cam (rapping in the VO booth), Brittany Cam (dancing with a unicorn blanket, huffing compressed air - Brian: “You can’t show that on Twitch!”).

Matt is asked how his DMing style has evolved with campaign 2. “Well... I’ve been forced to embrace a little more of the tragedy in the characters’ backstories.” The internal and external conflict has been really interesting for him to watch and react to. “I’ve learned to be very proud of my players for mucking up my perception of where things are going to go.”

Coming to Xhorhas, Nott’s thrilled to no longer have to worry about the mask. Sam’s excited about the City of Beasts “to see what kind of fucked-up individuals we’re going to find and seeing how Nott will react to that.”

Yasha definitely sympathizes with Nott trying to save her spouse, but “there’s a lot going on with her going back to Xhorhas. It’s definitely triggering for her, but she understands the need to want to go back. I wish I could go to Xhorhas. We’ll see what happens.” Travis: “I’m pretty sure once we go to a place we can never go back.”

Favorite item on the Talks shelves? Taliesin mentions a magnetic Percy mini, Sam likes the tiny Sams (”It looks like my bedroom!”), Ashley and Brian are partial to the Sully painting, Laura loves the Pike painting, Marisha loves all the stuff the cast bought on a hungover voyage to the flea market when they were first building the set, Matt loves a very cool dice tower. Brian likes the Vecna with Marisha’s face. Matt: “I don’t know if I like that one.”

Laura doesn’t like the party using the derogatory term for the Krynn, because she wants people to be happy even if she doesn’t know them. Sam: “I haven’t been the best for that, but if Jester wants me to... I guess I’ll change.”

There are new wipe transitions featuring the Matt pillow and the Fjord bust. It’s glorious.

Gif of the week: Sam calling Travis “studly” for catching the candy. Laura: “...I like that I’ve been cut out of it completely.”

Arsequeef gets the Lifetime Achievement Award for Gif of the Week. He wins Max’s 2006 Honda Accord.

On Caleb taking off his bandages because there’s nothing to hide anymore: “Was that terrifying for him, or a relief?” Liam: “Yes!” He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it feels good. He’s got f...r...iends?” Marisha: “I love that sitcom. (weakly) F...r...iends?”

Caduceus being a source of comfort, insight, and advice was built into the character. Taliesin looked at low INT high WIS, and Matt immediately started laughing and told Taliesin he’d do well with that. Taliesin: “There’s plenty of things that will eventually flap that, but we haven’t hit them yet.”

As a player, Travis doesn’t like to weigh things carefully all the time, so a lot of Fjord’s leardership has been a bit about pressing fast-forward. Marisha: “So what you’re saying is that your Grog’s poking through.” Matt points out that if both characters have a trait, it’s probably just Travis. 

Liam: “I’ve got a little Travis poking me from behind.” Marisha, musing: “So many conflicting beards...”

Beau’s prayer to Ioun mostly came from a “couldn’t hurt” perspective. “I’ll try it out. Give it a spin.” When Travis asks, Marisha clarifies that it was Ioun specifically because of the Cobalt Soul. Travis: “Oh yeah, I totally knew the relationship there. I just wanted to make sure the audience did.”

Bugbear friend or bugbear foe? Sam: “He speaks goblin, he seems cool, his name’s Gluzo. He has a hard-to-pin-down accent, but it’s amazing.” Taliesin: “You have a hard-to-pin-down accent, too. It’s something you have in common.” Taliesin gets asked if his insight check revealed that the bugbear is secretly pretending to be someone else. “Yes, he’s just pretending to be a bugbear. He’s actually Matt Mercer.” Laura: “I like him. ‘Cause he’s cute and he let me give him a tattoo.”

Sam: “Nott trusts her friends to be as strong as they can be, and at this point, I don’t know if she’s as concerned with one of them dying as just getting to her husband in time before he dies. If we lose one along the way, Nott will probably cry a little, but will move on.” What if it were Fjord? “Fjord’s expjendable.”

Matt: “I’ve reached a point where Travis controls Yasha in combat, but I don’t consider any of his roleplay canon.” Ashley: “I trust Travis. Barbarian respect.” Laura: “Don’t give him that.” Ashley: “Travis himself is like a Deck of Many things. This is risky, but it’s kind of fun!”

Sam: “That dunamancy shit is lit.” Liam: “And it’s tied up in everything that Caleb wants, so if he can get on the entropy shit and the gravity shit, you know he’s going to go back in time, motherfucker.” Sam is so excited to have these mystery spells because they’re so new, and they’re inherently something they don’t know how to counter or prepare for. Travis: “It’s almost like every time we play D&D.”

Fanart of the Week: a spectacular group shot.

Everyone freaks out over how good Travis looks with glasses. He takes them off and puts them back on sexily for a while. I was too slow grabbing a screencap, but don’t worry, the gifs will be everywhere.

Laura: “Jester hasn’t experienced a lot of emotions. She hasn’t experienced a lot of anything, really. She’s definitely dealt with sadness in her life, but I don’t think it’s been so in-your-face constantly, just the trauma of it all.” Liam: “Yeah, she’s with some very terrible people.” Laura: “While it is traumatic, it’s also been a great adventure, and she’s enjoying being out and doing things. Even if it might hurt her, it’s so much better than reading about it, drawing it, just imagining how it would be.”

Caleb’s still feeling out the shift in his relationship with Nott, but there’s no question that everything they’ve gone through can’t be forgotten or overlooked. “He sees her as an absolute ally no matter what, and will do anything for her. In a weird way, he feels like they’re even more alike than he thought they were, and he loves her and wants her to succeed in what she’s doing, and hopes that the things that he wants don’t fuck it up entirely.” Sam: “Are you talking about Liam and Sam right now?”

Caduceus’ thoughts on Xhorhas? “A new environment, certainly, and a new aspect of nature that he’s unfamiliar with. This is just more terrain to him at this point. He’s also very unaware of the political realities. He’s vaguely aware there is war. He’s still not sure why we can’t just go up and ask for directions from everyone.”

Brian: “That tiara is the most blessed image.”

Travis on the Captain Tusktooth tattoo: “Brand recognition is huge in Xhorhas.” Taliesin: “Viral marketing.” Laura confirms that it’s not likely to change apart from some small differences from tattoo to tattoo. “Each person gets a special google.”

Laura on fans actually getting this tattoo: “I am ALL ABOUT IT.”

Marisha: “Guys! How about instead of M9 tattoos...” Sam: “We let Laura tattoo us? I would legitimately be down with that!” Ashley: “I’m kind of into it.” Liam: “This is what splits us apart.” Laura: “Everybody gets a dick.” Travis: “How would we explain that to our kid? ‘What’s that?’ ‘Your mom did that.’”

Beau is holding back a bit since her impulsiveness started having negative repercussions. “I think it’s about accountability. She’s started to learn--- especially when she first joined M9, she didn’t have friends, really. I think you had to learn, oh, my actions do affect others around me. I think that’s something you can learn and you can grow in, but yeah, she is trying to not be a total fuckwad anymore. Trying. But old habits...”

Favorite TM moments? Travis: “Do you remember that episode where Brian wasn’t the host?” Brian remembers Travis throwing the card that almost took him out. Ashley fondly remembers PullOutKing. Laura remembers Taliesin saying the phrase “I love teenage assholes” (referring to Percy acting immature), and Taliesin is super glad someone brought that up again just when the tweets were finally starting to die down. 

Ashley talks about how proud she is about how far Brian’s come, and how great he’s doing at this. Everyone has an uncharacteristically sincere moment of applause for Brian. Liam: “Everyone take 30 seconds to drop the bit that we think you’re a total fucking weirdo. You’re so good at this, and you’re such a good friend, and we’re so glad you’re part of this family.”

Marisha pitches the idea of trying to sell TM syndicated on LifeTime now that they have 100 episodes.

Brian remembers having food poisoning that led to him running off-screen, throwing up in the middle of the show, and then having to come back. Marisha remembers Travis texting everyone that night with “lol, did Brian just yarf on TV?”

Matt talks about how proud he is of Brian for going from zero tabletop experience to co-running his own game.

Talks Machina After Dog ft. Sleepy Boi Henry

“This is the best dog-petting show ever.”

Liam was skeptical about TM initially, because he was worried it would take away from what would be shared in-game. Marisha: “I was stoked for it, not gonna lie. I was very misunderstood and people hated my character, so I was kind of stoked to just get to explain it.” Travis was sold once they picked the name.

Marisha: “It also set the precedent for really dumb, punny names.” Brian points out that, as a channel, they now can’t stick with serious names as their final choice.

Laura’s sister has been watching the show, and she texted Laura after the show to ask what the whisper was, so Laura’s going to tell her and no one else. Liam: “You’re gonna tell your real sibling?”

There’s a horrified discussion about giraffe fighting. Some segues happened in there.

What’s something their characters have done that’s made them proud? Liam: Caleb using the Wall of Fire. Marisha: the Plank King execution episode as a whole (everyone agrees). Travis: “I was proud of hooking up with an NPC when my wife wasn’t here to threaten me with death.” (he immediately turns to Taliesin: “Help.” Taliesin: “No god can help you now.”) Taliesin: “I sunk a boat.” Laura: Proud of not getting caught with Nott in the Platinum Dragon sanctuary. Sam: Taking the blow for Jester so she could escape. Liam: “Molly showing his dick covered in eggs.”

Matt: “I’m proud of you guys not entirely descending into evil madness. I’m proud of the character arcs of being broken, terrible people, and finding out that it’s okay to be broken; you’re not necessarily terrible.” Liam: “The entire cast went, ‘He’s talking about everyone but me’.” Matt thought it was going to be very hard to keep the group together, but the party turned it into character growth moments. “I’m proud of you.” Laura: “Thanks, Dad.”

Yasha loved the arm wrestling. “Oh man, it’s so fun to be the tank.”

Laura: “I’m really proud of us for saving Kiri!”

Everyone has Liam’s chest hair:

Wishes for the next 100 episodes? More Ashley. 

Brian: “I hate this coffee table more than anything in the whole, entire world.”

What’s something that should never change about the show? How ridiculous it is, the barrel, Dani. Also always have a dog. They fundamentally do the show for themselves, still, and that’s made it a really good environment for them to open up about the show and their characters.

Liam: “There’s a lot of beauty to what we do, but it’s also inherently silly. And to deny that is silly.”

Matt likes that it’s unpolished and imperfect. “Things are going to go wrong regardless, and you can either get angry and frustrated about the lack of control, or you can embrace it.” Sam: “None of this is real anyway.” 

Brian points out that this is not an excuse to stop paying him.

And that’s a wrap! This is the last After Dark for a while, but there are some big ideas in the works for the coming weeks!

[mimicofmodes]

Sanditon, episode 2 part i

At the beginning of the second episode, we’re basically fully departed from the novel fragment Jane Austen wrote. 

Sidney, looking nice in a triple-collared greatcoat, fully pretends to be looking at something over his shoulder so that he doesn’t have to obviously ignore Charlotte. Even though she’s wearing a knitted spencer that laces up the front (???) and her hair is wet from a swim and down, it’s rude!

We go off to church, and Miss Denham is for once not in black! Her hat is technically kind of like the late eighteenth century “spa hat” or “Devonshire hat” that was briefly in fashion, a tricorn made of black straw, usually decorated with colored plumes. The way she’s wearing it forward and to one side is very 1930s, which reminds me of the way Tuppence Middleton as Helene in the recentish War and Peace was costumed very 1930s. Maybe it signifies more modern sexual mores? Maybe it just looks saucy. Sir Edward’s plaid waistcoat is not so modern, more 1830s.

In church, the priest gives a creepily sensual sermon based on how pretty all the girls are, “blooms” that will soon be “plucked”. Arthur Parker, however, wishes that people would allow him to be a lily of the field. Honestly, he may be my favorite character in this? Everyone else is just so serious and dramatic.

I REALLY like Miss Denham’s (Esther’s) white dress here. Regency productions are often unwilling to put characters that are meant to be attractive in the high-necked morning dress they should be wearing before dinner, but they are not doing that here and I approve.

The vibe in the room at Denham Park is “Crimson Peak”.

And again, NICE gothic-influenced gown and frill on Clara. Lady Denham is dressed like it’s 1785 while planning her pineapple-and-Miss-Lambe luncheon and she opens up the next scene by complaining about Sir Edward’s behavior (wasting his time on “conquests” rather than getting married) while dressed like the dowager countess of Grantham again. Ah well.

Okay, this is some very modern hair on Esther - it looks like Rita Hayworth’s or Veronica Lake’s in the 1940s - but let’s give them credit, she is shown en négligé, undressed, which is the only situation in which a woman’s hair should be down in a Regency show. Charlotte, take note! This kind of gown, very loose and low-waisted, was just worn to cover up the underwear and would not be taken outside.

(They ruin it a couple of scenes later where she tells the servant to allow Lord Babington to come in and see her like this, but ... she’s also telling him that her brother brushes her hair, so there’s A Lot going on.)

After Charlotte has a nice scene with Mr. Parker where she shares his interest in building New Sanditon (take that, Sidney; she’s not looking down her nose at him), he takes her out to see the actual building. She also meets young Mr. Stringer (left), the cheerful cutie who’s the son of the foreman, who’s immediately sweet to her. I love him! Sidney comes along, looking gloomy (in that black greatcoat, making quite a contrast with his colorful brother) and smoking with a long ivory holder, and she rushes to apologize to him. He of course throws the apology back in her face, so she throws his rudeness back in his. Nice.

Sidney is called from a boxing match where he’s fighting a shirtless opponent (gritty! sexy! Andrew Davies is showing us the REAL REGENCY!) to come to Georgiana Lambe, who won’t leave her room or, I think, get dressed. She’s rightfully not happy about this party of Lady Denham’s, which is about showing off the exotic pineapple and the exotic visitor together. (I can’t help but think, as Georgiana rails against Sidney for taking her away from her home - a mystery that I am intrigued by; what exactly is his connection to her family? It’s a Davies addition - about the West Indian servant standing in the corner. How much of a choice did she have to come to England, and what does she think about it?)

As the party starts, we get nice looks at the outfits:

This is a bad shot of Lady Denham, but honestly, I’m so tired of the shtick of costuming her like it’s the 1780s ... she’s even wearing a fancy whitework apron. Tired! Clara is of course actually up-to-date, and her waistline is nicely high - a lot of Regency productions have the waists just a couple of inches too low, while this one is snugged up as high as possible. The neckline does have some issues, though: it should be much shallower and nobody would have been wearing a filmy, skimpy fichu that’s open over the cleavage.

Georgiana comes in and stands out immediately in the brightest and most expensive-looking gown in the room, especially dominating Mrs. Griffiths’s demure and plain purple one. (Mrs. Griffiths has the slightly-too-low waistline I was complaining about; Georgiana’s is just right.)

The Beaufort sisters, who I will probably never screencap again, look appropriately insipid and pale next to her as well.

Clara and Esther are once again also dressed in an opposing way. Instead of the ambiguous grey this time, though, Clara’s outfit is mostly white with some dark decoration as she clears up Esther’s misunderstanding and admits to being an innocent victim of sexual abuse; Esther, undaunted and motivated by jealousy over her brother, is still in sexy red.

In the dining hall, Georgiana busts out some creole to make Lady Denham feel awkward, which is excellent. Sidney is a pain in the ass about it, which is hypocritical of him given his blatant rudeness at other times. Arthur loves it, which is why he’s awesome. Sir Edward then goes on to flirt extremely badly with her.

Sidney entreats Charlotte - whose sleeves are divinely puffed and gathered, by the way, although she is also afflicted with the dreaded Flimsy Fichu - to give him her opinions on the company, and she rightly rebuffs him as she knows he’s just going to tell her she’s awful for having critical thoughts. 

Lady Denham then basically starts taunting Georgiana for being black and having a mother who was a slave, and then tries to play Charlotte and Georgiana off each other only for Charlotte to sympathize with G instead. She’s completely losing her head because Georgiana’s not playing along with the scheme to marry Sir Edward. When Georgiana fires back with a “we ain’t suited” about him, everyone is clearly on her side. A gleeful Arthur goes to cut her a piece of pineapple as a reward, and we find ...

D:

Lady Denham is so upset about the whole thing (despite it being entirely her fault) that she threatens to pull her investment from Sanditon, which would ruin Tom. Poor man.

(cont’d)

[grays-library]

The Femanist

Chels couldn't keep away from Twitter thanks to the literal war that was going on about her and her fellow women online. She clicked on the photoshop window she had open on her second monitor. There was a picture of her -- marble white skin, short, dyed pink hair, skinny, heart-shaped face -- that she had added text to. She couldn't believe that in this day and age people still couldn't accept feminism. Which is exactly why I have to keep fighting these manbabies.

She typed a message into the textbox on the screen, probably too forcefully. She hated this stupid imageboard, with its "2edgy4me" attitude about every serious issue including, lately, her favorite writers and magazines. These nerds just don't understand why it was important to share stories of disempowered groups like women and minorities -- no matter the cost. They didn't get that no matter how good her life was, it would never outweigh the oppressive force of the patriarchal microaggressions that permeated the lives of her and every other woman.

Thank god Chels' father had hired a cybersecurity expert for her, that meant she could really show these idiots who is boss with no personal repercussions. She had come up with a brilliant "false flag" that she was sure the media would pick up on immediately. They all fought for social justice like she did. Well, the good ones at least.

"Fuck these stupid Vivian posts, you faggots", she typed into the text box, cringing at the f-word, "focus on the bitch who actually needs to be fucked."

Then she saved and attached her custom photo. It was the picture of her, with red text overlay reading, "Next on the hitlist: Chels La Marke, Social Justice Whore." No doubt her sisters in feminism would be monitoring the thread and screencap it immediately, send it to the "right" people. These Vivian threads were the worst. So perverted.

Chels tabbed back over to her twitter timeline. Only boring "goobergrapers" repeating the same old arguments. Objectivity, "ethics", etc.

"Bored now, fuck you", she typed.

Chels was proud of herself. She'd been personally responsible for creating a petition that got Bayonetta 2 removed from her local games stores, she'd actually made a few ex-"gowmbergrompers" check their privilege for once, and now she was going to successfully false-flag a bunch of shitgoblins into visiting and "dosing" her personal blog. Hellooooo Patreon money.

Chels sighed. Nothing left to do but wait. Her boyfriend was out distributing flyers for their bi-weekly Feminist Science Club meeting, not that he'd ever actually make a move on her anymore. It had been fun and arousing guilting him about every sexual urge he'd had, but he'd been completely domesticated lately, and, though she hated to admit it, she was bored of that. Sometimes she couldn't help but imagine being taken by a nice strong man. She couldn't help the patriarchy she had been socialized in, sometimes it slipped into her fantasies!

Chels found herself imagining some buff juicehead ignoring her preaching and whining, pushing her down on the bed, tearing her clothes off and fucking her tiny ass raw. She begged him to stay, to emotionally attach, but he never would. He ignored all of her commands, always returning when he needed to please himself with her. Like some kind of toy. This figure had invaded her fantasies as of late. It turned her on so damn much. Guilty pleasure, she figured.

She slipped her hand down her pants, revealing the Raised Feminist Fist tattoo she had tattooed above her...Cunt. That word, so filthy, always turned her on. She hated it, of course, but it was so powerful and so charged that it always worked for her. Cunt, cunt, cunt. She whispered it softly as she slipped her fingers down into her thin slit. She was still tender from her failed pube-dye experiment last week, but that almost added to the sensation of her sliding her fingers between her lower lips.

She imagined herself reluctantly letting go, letting the muscled man lift her small frame and slide his cock into her, stretching her more than her boyfriend(s) ever could. He pounded into her again and again, and she looked down to see her crotch throb with each thrust. She could imagine his hands on her back, his muscles flexing as he fucked her so hard.

Damn, I'm really getting into this, she thought, pushing the fantasy one step further, I'm really enjoying getting fucked by an "alpha".

She was soaking herself, and she laughed at a thought. My boyfriend really is a fucking beta isn't he? That only turned her on more. Her whole body was feeling warm and tingly. She could tell this orgasm was going to be astronomical. She flicked her finger across her clit rapidly, sending shocks of pleasure through her crotch and thighs. For some reason, her clit felt twice as hot and engorged as usual. Damn fantasies...

There was a ding from her laptop. A PM? What the fuck? She spun in her chair and, using her other hand, snagged the mouse and clicked on the twitter tab. Who the fuck is this? Some random Social Justice blogger she had followed back last week had sent her a PM.

"Nice try, Chels, I know it's you posting on chan", the message read, "you've been posting under the same I.D. across multiple threads you fucking retard, and your security sucks. If you haven't already noticed, I've devised something special for you, courtesy of my friends on the deep web. Hope you liked this actual sock account.

Chels' skin prickled. Who the fuck are you? Her hand hovered over the keys, but she couldn't think straight. She was still so turned on. Her head was hazy. She felt hot. A second message dinged through.

"Go check that Vivian thread you shitted up."

Instinctively, Chels tabbed over to the thread. Ten updates. All of them except one were denouncing her image. The last one was a hyper-realistic picture of Vivian fingering herself. The text next to it read, "Have fun looking like this girl for the rest of your life, Chels." For some reason, the image turned her on. Chels shook the thought from her mind, as best as she could.

It was then that she noticed the room was foggy. There was some kind of purple haze filling her vision. She tried to stand, but her legs were wobbly. She accidentally gasped, taking the purple smoke into her lungs.

"Oh gawd..." she moaned, as every erogenous zone on her body came alight with feeling.

Chels threw her head back, filling her lungs with the purple smoke. She caught a glimpse of her screen, which was glowing bright green. My computer...compromised? She could barely think.

A light pain shot through her spine, waking her enough to stumble to her feet. Her cunt was so wet for some reason. She looked down at herself. Something was definitely wrong. Her pants were tightening. She rushed to peel them off, but only succeeded in drunkenly stumbling as she hopped out of her pants. Hell, my shirt too? She took that off next.

Looking down again, she could have sworn her body was warping before her very eyes. Am I fucking high? Her legs were thickening, her feet, shrinking. She felt herself grow closer to the floor. Chels' eyes shot to the body mirror in the corner of the room, and she stumbled towards it. 

"My legs feel weird..."

Chels gawked at the image reflected in the mirror. She was inches shorter, she'd gained weight, and...spots...were spreading across her bared breasts. As she leaned in for a closer look, she realized they were freckles -- and that her once nearly flat breasts were pushing outwards and gaining weight. She watched in horror as her areolas lightened and expanded. An involuntary moan slipped from her lips as a wave of pleasure surged from her cunt.

She gripped the side of the mirror, clenching her eyes shut and moaning again. When she opened her eyes, she was horrified to see her hair lengthening and changing in color. Oh god. It's red. Oh my god what is this? She watched her breasts settle into their larger size and greater weight, her face round out ever so slightly, her belly get a little lazy pudge, her hips round out, and then it all clicked when her eyes changed. Green. Why are my eyes green! No, this is impossible!

Chels looked at herself again, gawking. Gone was the skinny, dyed-hair, pixie girl with marble skin. Instead, her body became that of a short, slightly pudgy, large breasted, red-head. Her eyes looked tired, and her expression, mildly annoyed. With horror, Chels realized that her tattoo had become a green-and-purple infinity. She had become a perfect model of a "girl who games", that GamerGate icon, Vivian James.

Chels screamed in horror, the voice that came forth completely alien to her. It was soft and a little raspy instead of the loud, nasally voice she had always known to be hers. Her hands shot to her face, touching to feel if it was real. As her fingers touched her cheeks, the finishing touches of her radical female transformation completed. Freckles dotted across her face, and reddish pubic hair appeared above her slightly chubby cunt. She gawked in terror and arousal.

Her cheeks were flushed red, and, somehow, she couldn't help but be turned on looking at her new body. Her mind filled with images of Vivian -- herself -- being fucked. She imagined her now large, heavy breasts bouncing with each thrust of her imaginary lover. His cock pushed into her reddened pussy, sliding against her enlarged clit.

Chels, still dizzy, fell onto her bed, unable to resist fingering herself. Frantically, she felt down between her new folds and quickly found her clit; it was indeed larger. She stared at her tattoo, turned on by the downright evil of it as her fingers flicked across her nub. Such a taboo image, on her flesh. Her breasts jiggled as she forcefully fingered herself, hoping to replicate the images flashing through her mind so rapidly.

She closed her eyes tight, picturing cum rising from the cock of her lover and splashing into her red pubes, across her infinity tattoo, and onto her thighs. She tried with whatever will remained to think of her actual boyfriend, but it just didn't turn her on at all. She came to the image of Vivian-Chels being fucked by a musclebound, masculine, hero trope. She came, convulsing and tightening around her fingers.

Falling to the floor in ecstasy, Chels glanced over at her computer. A red light was visible through the dissipating purple-and-green haze. The light of her webcam. They have it on video... Chels honestly tried to work up care, but, for some reason she couldn't. She was so satisfied. She hugged herself, shivered slightly in the last wave of orgasmic bliss, and went to stand.

Chels felt so relaxed. Even her expression felt chill. She walked over to her computer, smiled slightly, and sat down in the chair. She didn't even try to turn off the webcam. Something about not giving a shit felt nice. She bit her lip as a thought crossed her mind. A half-second later, she had propped her leg up on the armrest, giving the webcam a nice view of her red-haired pussy.I should be concerned, right?

Chels clicked out of twitter, opened up steam. Fuck it. I feel fucking fantastic. I'll just play a game and let this fucker enjoy the view. Unbeknownst to her, the video of Chels La Marke A.K.A. Vivian James was streaming live to her Social Justice blog. 

She woke up in a pool of her own sweat,looks around the the room and sighs

It was all a dream..a weird ass dream.

[crystalkleure]

For the character opinion-thing: Flee?

Free

VAMPIRE VAMPIRE VAMPIRE I love Free so much, holy shit. Free is absolutely one of my favourite characters.

For one, it was obvious exactly what was wrong with Free as soon as we saw him. He was bored. He’s the world champion. There were maybe two or three other people on the entire planet that could occasionally put up a decent fight against him. And he only saw those few people very rarely, anyway. So 99.9% of the time, there was simply no challenge for him in beyblading. Interestingly though, he constantly claims “Winning is fun. I always win, so I always have fun.” And yet, he says it so flatly, no enthusiasm behind it. Even he himself doesn’t believe it anymore. Because that is not fun. It is dull.

But the issues this was causing for him extend beyond just boredom, too. Being so high above everyone else around him skill-wise actually presented several other problems as well.

First, it created a sense of hopelessness in the rest of BC. They saw how far Free was ahead of them and felt like the distance was just insurmountable, and they could never catch up. Free constantly just…being better than everyone else, no matter how hard they tried, was demoralizing. Ultimately, they STOPPED really wholeheartedly trying to improve themselves because they felt like it was pointless, and Free basically ended up carrying the entire rest of his team through every tournament by himself.

…Which caused Free to realize they all relied on him far too much. He pulled the entire team alone. Though he also knew it was kind of his own fault it got that way, for the reason above. His overwhelming presence is what broke everyone’s spirits and turned them into the apathetic dead weight that he had to drag around. So he left. He didn’t want to leave Chris and the rest of BC – BC is his home, where he grew up – but he did it because he felt like it would be better for the club. He didn’t even particularly WANT to go with Alexander specifically, because he could tell that man was dirty somehow, but he was itching to get out of BC so badly that he just walked through the first open door he found. Alexander was a way out, so Free just opted to aggressively ignore his obvious ulterior motives.

Though, in spite of Free’s obvious resentment towards his World Champion status for the negative effects it causes to both himself and the people around him…the way he reacts when he finally does actually lose says something very interesting.

So, he lost to Lui, in one battle out of a slew of like 8415023620 they had just had in rapid succession. Free lost ONCE. And outwardly, he only looked shocked for just a second, and then it looked like he got over it. He was right back to his usual indifferent self a little while later. But, uh…yeah, he wasn’t over it. He was still thinking about it. It was still bothering him. It bothered him enough that he actually started training for once. And as I’ve said here [X], Free’s just so naturally freakishly strong that he doesn’t need to train hard to kick ass. And he knew that, that’s why he wasn’t bothering with doing it before. And yet now, one loss was enough to make him freak out and “train” [ridiculously improperly] hard enough to hurt himself. He lost just once and went absolutely fucking nuts [just in a quietly self-destructive sort of way, instead of a screaming, thrashing temper tantrum sort of way. Free didn’t want anyone to know he was upset or to worry about him].

I think maybe Free wonders if he has any real value to most people outside of just his strength. Like “I’m the guy everyone counts on to win. That’s it. Just win. So if I can’t always reliably do that…what else am I good for? Would anyone really still care about me if I wasn’t the strongest beyblader in the world anymore?”, which is an idea he would have formed due to the way he had to basically solo every tournament for BC for so long. And that sort of idea could have been what triggered that meltdown when he lost.

Free is so smart, but at the same time he can be so stupid. I think he overthinks things until they start eating away at him, and he starts breaking down. He beats himself up and isn’t exactly the best at communicating.

And unrelated to any of that, Free can also be a petty bitch when you piss him off, so that’s fun. Joshua shoved him around/embarrassed him on live TV and then lost the team tournament due to incredibly reckless behaviour [made the whole team, including Free, look bad], and THEN didn’t ever even apologize to Free for it. At all. And so Free basically spent the rest of the season silently tapping his foot at Joshua, glaring at him like he was just waiting for an apology or something. It was so passive-aggressive. He was SO MAD…and I mean, righteously so, but the way he went about it was just fucking hilarious. I can’t believe Josh never took the hint. Free was making it so very, VERY obvious that he was still very, very angry.

And after all of that unpleasant shit I just laid out, it wouldn’t be fair to just gloss over one of the most obvious things about Free: he’s [usually] so soft and sweet. Like, he’s terrifyingly strong and obviously inhuman, but he is so quiet and gentle? Just look at the way he interacts with the BC kids, for one. Like, that scene near the very end of the season with the little blue-haired girl [Honey? Is that her name? Wiki says so.], when she was so upset that he was hurt. The way he held her hand and told her he would be okay was So Good**.

And also, back when he came back to BC but Shasa was mad at him for leaving, he calmed her down and even gave her some beyblading advice. Completely defused the tension there.

This post is already too long, I can’t give drawn-out examples of every cute scene, but Free is just…friendly? It is actually HARD to get Free super pissed off about anything. Joshua just has some really exceptionally incredible Fuckup Skills.

**Speaking of this scene though, I think it and also Chris demanding that he forfeit the fight earlier because he was injured are the things that let Free know people do actually care about him, and not just what he can do for them. It was So Good.

Also Free doesn’t give a shit about personal space and that’s always funny. Fall asleep on kid sitting next to you on bus? Sure. Suddenly be like two inches away from someone’s face with no warning? Why not, wait why are you screaming. Casually pick up shiny new beyblade [that does not belong to you] and practically drool over it while its offended owner is standing right there? What’s wrong with that. God, I love Free.

10000/10. Free is the best petty, self-destructive, nosy, sweetheart vampire who is occasionally covered in nasty bulging veins. Even a disgusting veiny Free is still a good Free […even though the only reason he’s veiny like that in the first place is because something is very wrong…]. If anyone needs any more convincing at this point that Free is essentially perfect, take this screencap I’ve just had lying around and Understand:

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 6 Review, Part I: Dream a Little Dream of Me

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Synopses: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

Even though this is one of my favorite episodes, it’s taken me a while to get motivated to write this. I don’t want to get into detail about my personal life because it’s irrelevant to this blog, but last week was very busy and hectic. With the holidays coming up, things are also likely to get really wild really soon, so odds are I will be progressing even more slowly through this show. Yes, this is going to be another two-parter and yes, in the second part, I plan on doing another deep dive into the contents of the flashback.

We start out with Jean Paul bitching again at the portrait because, at the end of Episode 5, he finally figured out that making a deal with the Devil was a bad idea. Shortly after Raxl has had a chance to air her grievances towards Jacques as well, they meet up in the crypt downstairs. There she tells him of Dr. Menkin’s death, including Jacques’ explanation that Menkin was drunk. “Dr. Menkin never drank,” he says, and she responds, “Yes, I know. But you told me yourself that he had been drunk.”

In this shot, you can clearly see a camera on the right-hand side of the screen.

Considering that she knows that Jacques likes possessing him, one can safely conclude that she is feigning ignorance. After some exposition for the new viewers about the conjure doll and the silver pin, Raxl gives some new background information about Jacques’ crimes:

Raxl: “Three hundred years ago, Jacques Eloi des Mondes ceased to care for his wife and she was dead. After that, her younger sister, then she was dead. There is a sister of your wife under this roof. Is she younger than my mistress?”

Jean Paul: “Yes.”

Raxl: “Then get her out of here before she is dead! Please, M’sieu! It is all we can do! We must fight!”

Jean Paul: “Against whom? A man of three hundred years ago?”

Raxl: “The Devil is eternal!”

Really, Jean Paul? You need to be reminded whom you’re fighting against? You need to be reminded that Jacques Eloi des Mondes is a threat and possibly the Devil himself? Look, I know that you were born sometime in the mid- to late 1930s and grew up in a world where most people didn’t believe in the supernatural and viewed voodoo and similar religions as superstition, but the spirit of Jacques has already started messing with your life! He’s possessed you! He’s killed Dr. Menkin! He talks to you all the time through his portrait! He even changes your clothes sometimes and gets you drunk while he’s in your body! And besides, I’m going to assume that Jean Paul was raised some variety of Christian, so most likely he already believed in the Devil before the beginning of the show. I could see him being skeptical if Raxl one day decided to proselytize to him about the Great Serpent, but, in this case, he just has no excuse for not believing her.

Jacques poncily inspecting Jean Paul’s fingernails right after possessing him. I suspect that many real-life 17th-century fops liked making this sort of gesture.

Anyway, Jacques possesses him and tells her to go away, then reveals while talking to the cryocapsule that he has no intention on reviving Erica until after he’s had his fun. I’m sure that this is not surprising, because why should he want to return to Hell when he can stay on Earth for the time being and wreak havoc on the residents of Maljardin?

In the Great Hall, Jean Paul--who is himself once again--meets up with Alison. She can’t sleep because she is still trying to recover from the shock of Erica’s death and can’t accept that Jean Paul has frozen her with the intent to bring her back to life. He starts to comfort her, but then...well...I think you can guess what happens next...

As of this episode, Colin Fox hasn’t yet mastered the sexy evil smirk, but he is still hot as Hell.

If you guessed “Jacques possesses him again,” you’re right! The early episodes get predictable quickly, and, although I have no evidence to support it, I suspect that was one of the things Robert Costello* criticized about the show when he became producer. But predictable doesn’t always mean boring, and the sequence coming up is an interesting one.

Jacques dropping a hint about his true identity to Alison, who--fortunately for him--refuses to believe that Jean Paul is possessed. Note that the portrait is still visible in the background. Continuity error or inconsistency?

While pretending to be Jean Paul, Jacques gives Alison a history lesson on himself in the third person: “Jacques was a very active man. He was a chevalier, he was renowned of royalty and he was a scholar, an engineer, a navigator, an explorer, and a free-looter. He was the beginning of the family's true wealth. Legend has it that in the coral caves beneath the island of Maljardin, he buried a king’s ransom, which still lies hidden. To tell you the truth, I’m a secret admirer of his.”

So many BISSITS!

Alison is intrigued, but still not convinced that Jacques was a good person (perhaps the “free-looter” bit tipped her off?), and is still worried about him. “You do identify with him,” she says. “He frightens me.” To reassure her, Jacques goes on to draw some comparisons between himself and Jean Paul, taking the opportunity to try to seduce her:

Jacques: “Look at our history. He had a wife that he adored who died, as I did. He brought her to this château, as I brought Erica. He lost a princess, a woman he loved.”

Alison: “As you lost Erica.”

Jacques: “Well, you could say the connection has a ring of witchcraft about it--but only in theory, of course.”

Alison: “That’s a comfort.”

Jacques: “But I will add one more thing. Jacques’ wife had a sister. And her name was Rahua.”

Alison: *falling under Jacques’ spell* “Rahua? A pretty name.”

Jacques: “The name of a goddess. And her hair was like ripened wheat. Her skin was as white as goat's milk and as soft to the touch as the morning mist on the water of the lakes.”

Alison: “Sounds lovely. So real. You describe her almost as though you knew her.”

Jacques: “History to me is real and so romantic in spite of the tragedy.”

A man after my own heart.

Alison interrupts Jacques’ attempted seduction to ask about the death of Jacques’ wife. “Huaco was her name,” he responds. “They climbed to the headland alone to watch the sunset. They didn't realize that the terrible force of the trade winds would be a danger to them, the terrible force at the cliff edge. And when they reached there, Jacques Eloi’s cries of warning were drowned out by the wind that plucked her from the cliff heights and threw her into the sea like a rag doll.”

Soon after, the conversation shifts to Jean Paul’s plans to revive Erica, but Alison doesn’t want to hear about it. Then the handsome devil decides to drop another hint:

Cue another flashback in the form of a dream that Jacques gives Alison about Rahua. I will write about the flashback in more detail in my next post, so I will just summarize it for now. Huaco has just given birth to Jacques’ son and leaves dinner early to see him, but her sister Rahua (who, like Alison, is played by Dawn Greenhalgh) stays behind. Jacques kisses and tries to seduce her, but she is reluctant to accept his advances because she is his wife’s sister. To persuade her, he says, “The right [to happiness] belongs to those who take it,” and they kiss. It’s a great scene, if slightly reminiscent of a cheesy bodice-ripper in its execution--but, frankly, if someone were to write a cheesy bodice-ripper starring Jacques, I would probably love it. I’m a big believer in the Reader’s Bill of Rights; I am under no obligation to defend my tastes.

I know that Jacques is evil and likely planning on eventually killing her, but I want to be Alison in this scene. Why aren’t men my age this dashing?

Alison is distressed by the dream, crying “no” in her sleep, which makes me wonder if we the audience are missing part of it. Or does the thought of a romance between her and her brother-in-law distress her that much? When she wakes up, Jacques--who has been by her side the whole time probably implanting the dream into her head--pretends to comfort her (see above). Then he says his, echoing his line from the dream:

Yes, Jacques, I’d love to.

After she leaves, Jacques monologues to the audience about being the Devil, looking devilishly hot while doing so and flashing that gorgeous grin some more. (I will post separately, because this post is already a mile long.) By the end of the episode, the crew still hasn’t noticed the continuity error/inconsistency from earlier, and rolls the ending credits over the still-visible portrait of Jacques:

Stay tuned for an in-depth look at the first flashback about Jacques and Rahua, including my thoughts on the costumes. I can’t promise it’ll be finished this week, but I will try. Until next time...pleasant...dreams?

Notes

* Yes, the same Robert Costello who produced Dark Shadows left DS to work on this. So did two early DS writers, Ron Sproat and Joe Caldwell, who wrote some of the early Desmond Hall episodes. I will write more about them when they become relevant.

{ <-- Previous: Episode 5   ||   Next: Episode 6, Part II --> }

[lupintyde]

A Lady’s Guide To Surviving Pop Culture

**You can find a complete list of my ML crack posts here, and links to the other parts of this series at the bottom of this post.  I’ve linked to some of my other posts in this part.  It’s just a ton of linkage, y’all.  Also, some random cursing :)**

Confession time: I’ve had this part all ready to go for about a month, but I couldn’t think of a title.  I was so close to naming it “Ladybug Meets Slime, a Mime and Medieval Times”.  Y’all dodged a bullet ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

When we last saw Ladybug, she was chasing Chat Noir down to make out with him in order to break him from an akuma’s control.  Because True Love’s Kiss and stuff.  And then she acted like nothing happened.  As usual.

*SIGH*  I need a break from the love square antics.  I need...A HORROR MOVIE!!!

In “Horrificator”:

The class is making a fake horror movie

which turns into a real horror movie

judging by Mari’s face, it’s the most horrifying thing she’s ever se--

--oh no wait...

it’s just Chloe almost kissing Adrien

...like that doesn’t happen every time she gloms onto him...

they hear a scream and go to investigate

the reactions vary...

Alya: they’re pranking us guys

Nathaniel: GAME OVER, MAN!

Nino:  *switches from making a B-movie to a found footage horror movie*

Mari: goddammit Nino －‸ლ 

so...

a srsly hot guy with blonde hair

and a cute girl with blue pigtails

--who were JUST IN this small group, mind--

disappear and a srsly hot cat boy and cute super heroine with blue pig-tails show up out of the freaking blue

in a completely closed off school

minutes after the first people disappear

Chat even mentions how he tried getting out

OUT, not in

meaning he was in the school when it was covered by the slime barrier

..............

this entire class needs to be smacked with a clue-by-four

Time to lube up the Eiffel Tower and--oh wait.  Wrong movie.  Find out what movie we’re supposed to be watching after the cut...

so how the hell are they getting out?

LB’s got a plan, but Chat’s only concerned about one thing 

he’s gonna kiss someone today, dammit >_<

third time’s a charm

unfortunately for him, Ladybug’s used to ignoring his charm

although she may or may not have rung his bell, instead...

they go looking for Adrien and find his Hawkmoth brand shoe 

Chat: anyone recognize this?

*innocent whistling*

you’re as smooth as a topographical map of Utah, my dude

just like a horror movie to have the monster show up 2/3 of the way in

Nino’s gonna need a change of pants

Chat and Ladybug are all “what the fuck is that supposed to be...?”

Mari looked more terrified at the prospect of Adrien getting smooches tbh

PRIORITES, y’all

this is the least threatening akuma they’ve ever faced

like what if the xenomorph from Alien just needed a hug

Juleka would be all over that

In “Darkblade/Le Chevalier Noir”:

Alternately titled “Chat Noir Joins a LARP” 

not even a sword fight could derail his rapier wit

though he does end up going on the of-fence-ive 

...that was funnier in my head...

sorry guys, it’s been fun

but my ride’s here

...wait one freaking second

LB and Chat Noir are French, right?  Right.

taunting a group of knights and keeping them from getting an object they want at the top of the castl--er--hotel

in this case, a flag

instead of, oh say I don’t know, a grail

it’s a good thing he was in the presence of a lady

or he probs would have threatened farting in their general direction

after they defeat the Black Knight 

Adrien lets loose with the best pun in the series

He is King of the Puns

not that anyone voted for him

his talent is lost on these peasants

this boy could walk around in a cat ear headband and muss up his hair

and Mari would think he pulls it off better than Chat Noir

In “The Mime/Le Mime”:

you know for someone who hates liars

it took Marinette a while to come clean to Alya

Tikki’s just given up at this point tbh

Karma’s got Alya’s back tho

the cats of Paris have it out for Marinette

especially this one ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

♬♪♫ a whole new wooooooorld ♬♪♫ 

also known as a break for Ladynoir fanservice

wait...I’ve seen that move before...

...ok...what is it with these akumas throwing Chat around, tying him up, holding him down...

just because he’s a (faux) leather cat boy who has a BELT FOR A TAIL does not mean he’s into S&M, people

you think the bad guys would have learned from the Timebreaker incident not to mess with him

is Ladybug gonna have ta smack a bitch?!

Mari wants Chat to annoy the mime

because that’s apparently in his wheelhouse

he’s all “HEY!” for a split second

until he realizes she has a point

you dweebs are lucky that mime has a better sense of self preservation than you do

Good job, kitty!

gifts from cats are hit or miss

make sure there are no...presents...in there

it looks like she’s got the right idea to sniff it first

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is only one part of a series!  Here’s the link to the other parts of Adrien’s Game and A Lady’s Charm :)

ML Master List Of Crack Posts

(I used to add links to the newest installment at the bottom of my Adrien’s Game and Lady’s Charm posts, but the list will eventually end up being as long as the actual post.  So, yeah.  I’m taking the lazy approach.)

*DISCLAIMER*   The episodes are in order by the original French air date listed on the ML Wiki (link here) and I mix up the English and French names because I watch both.   These posts are my attempt at humor and not meant to be taken seriously.  Hateful/snide comments are the reason for this disclaimer and peeps trying to start arguments will be blocked.  I’m not out to prove anything and I don’t give attention to trolls.  If you reblog, use whatever tags float your shippy boat.  If you wanna use the screencaps, please give me credit for capturing them.  I am under no illusion that I own the series, obviously.   Also, long post is long and this will be a series of long posts with a LOT of pictures.  I read as many of the reblog tags as I have time for, and you guys are so supportive and way funnier than I think I am.  So thanks for the love and the laughs :)

Special shout out to @aplaceofnonsense for helping with the main title and encouraging me with an impromptu pun battle. 

[cupkayke]

Cupkayke Rewatches/Liveblogs Boueibu!

Season 1, Episode 4

I channeled En for about a week and was too lazy to quit playing Resident Evil and finish this liveblog buuuut better late than never, right?! I may only manage one of these a week but I just had a bunch of fanfic ideas (unrelated to watching the episode) so I figured I’d press onward and finish these. Mostly cuz I’m really interested in getting to season 2 because the Beppus are my favorite. But for now- IT’S THE EPISODE WHERE THEY GET BABYFIED! OMG CUTENESS ABOUND.

PS- I love the discussion that happened from my previous liveblog! Thank you @nardaviel, @angry-jewish-magical-girl (whom I cannot tag for some reason), @magiccatprincess and everyone else who contributed :3 ( @thatlittledandere I absolutely loved your flailing in your tags lol <3) Reactions make this a whole lot more fun for me- especially because the screencapping and formatting is so tedious. But anyway! ONWARD! I doubt this episode I’ll get that deep but WHO KNOWS.

OH HERE WE GO FEELS AND BACKSTORY

LOOK AT THE BABIES

Although why are they unsupervised in a field all alone as like elementary schoolers WTF WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS?

Cliche wish upon a star!

Srz tho their voices are SO CUTE- who did they get for the baby voices??? 

Look at how cute blushy baby Atchan is!

BUT I AM A CHILD ATCHAN SO LOGICAL YET SO MUCH SHADE

CUTE BABY KINCHAN AND HIS ‘JUST IN CASE’ WISH AND HIS BLUSHING

Seriously look at this smol child. I think when I first watched the series this was the scene where I was first like “AWWW” at any of the SC.

-aaaaaand cut off

“Don’t mind me I’m just being broody and emo in the office with the lights out looking at the stars while I reminisce about my first love childhood friend who ditched me to go eat fucking curry with a pleb NBD I’M FINE”

That Arima Sass(tm) I didn’t remember him being so... memorable with his lines until this rewatch lol (oops I feel bad for ignoring him the first time around he’s so cute)

"Arima I s2g if you say one more word I will put snails on everything you own”

I didn’t cap this but in hindsight of the end of the season, his wish going from friendship to world domination is a perfect place for the “well that escalated quickly” meme…

Tickling Wombat looks so fun lol

I think I had a point about the ‘stink’ debate but I have since forgotten it so here have some silly screencaps of Wombat freaking out and Yumoto being adorable

QUICK SOMEONE WHO’S NEVER WATCHED BOUEIBU EXPLAIN WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE.

I mostly just love their faces lololololol I laughed for like 5 minutes after taking this

Side note- Poor Wombat- he’s a sentient creature that gets treated like a pet/plaything/child- no wonder he runs away from Yumoto every chance he gets

THE BIRTH OF WOM-SAN

More screencaps with no explanation other than I laughed harder than I should at them. THE EYES KIND OF REMIND ME OF HAYAO MIYAZAKI WHY?

Dads that are 12,000% done with this shit

En’s views on childishness/high school students in this scene is kind of telling- he seems overly image-conscious, yet he doesn’t want to be seen as old. Maybe Atsushi’s worrying is rubbing off on him?

Yumoto did you forget that you fight monsters on a weekly basis??? What ELSE is the definition of Superhero???

I wonder how they feel looking at basically a NAKED DEAD BODY all the time. It’s probably not fu- WAIT.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING

BUT WHEN I TOOK THIS SCREENCAP I CAME TO THE HORRIFYING REALIZATION THAT TAWARAYAMA-SENSI LOOKS JUST LIKE MY DAD

MY DAD USED TO BE A MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHER AND HAS GRAY POOFY HAIR AND A MUSTACHE AND NOW I CANNOT UNSEE IT

Cupkayke.exe has stopped working

anyway

WHAT IS IT WITH THE SIDE CHARACTERS AND FREAKY EYES IN THIS SHOW

Io all about that money. Why do I find this exchange hilarious?

WAS THAT TEASING

OMG YUMOTO AND HIS SENPAIS THIS IS ADORABLE

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

Also I JUST NOTICED that Ryuu and Io’s washing supplies are color coded by their hair/battle lover outfits omg

Who was it who had that headcanon that their battle lover outfits were chosen because of their favorite colors?

Lololol well Ryuu is the youngest other than Yumoto, isn’t he?

En does have a point

But Ryuu’s views on his looks here are interesting- he knows he’s stereotypically ‘young’ looking, so he makes do with what he has and turns up the charm to 100

I mean... he’s good at it, too. Look at that last screencap.

Also Yumoto in that screencap is splashing water through his hands LOL EVEN IN THE BACKGROUND HE’S ENFORCING THE CHILDISH NARRATIVE

…what was the point of Yumoto interrupting there?

Did I miss a joke?

More on En’s view of age/maturity and Yumoto blowing bubbles like a child in the background

I can definitely see where Yumoto would rub some people the wrong way here- his childishness is being played too heavy-handedly to just be for laughs

But it’s necessary Boueibu format foreshadowing

Ryuu looking so cool, so casual washing his feet

HOW CHILD HOW

Also I definitely noticed the pink bath supplies in this screencap

Senior must not be a common term for students in Japanese

Lololol Ryuu so cheeky

I feel like this line would get localized into something really cheesy or lame like “old man” when dubbed into English

There we have it.

ALSO BUTTS

En’s age crisis- again, he has a desire not to be seen as immature and is quick to call out childish behavior in others, but the moment his attention is brought to how he might be percieved as ‘old’, he obsesses on the negative aspects of it instead of the positive- which he was stressing as the better option only moments before.

This is really interesting but I don’t quite know what to make of it. If he doesn’t want to be seen as childish, but doesn’t want to be seen as old, what does he want to be seen as? Simply exactly his age? Boy, En, I have news for you... unless you’re a genetic miracle, no one looks exactly their age.

Seriously I’m twenty-fucking-five and I STILL get carded everywhere because I look 18 T_____T

YUMOTO YOU DON’T NEED TO BE BALD

GLAMOR SHOTS TIME

STARTING WITH RYUU’S ASS

I KNOW EVERYBODY AND THEIR BROTHER HAS TAKEN THIS SCREENCAP BUT DAMMIT JUST LET ME-

...bubble butt, bubble bubble bubble butt~

Yumoto your laugh is creepy

Again Io being sexy

En you aren’t fooling anyone, Atsushi’s using his glamor shot to worry about you- even tho my screencap apparently missed the caption

And then they keep splashing like kids lol

What a nickname

I’ve noticed the SC almost always speaks in a certain order- Arima, Akoya, Kinshirou

Is this on purpose or just arbitrary?

…morning cuddles…

Gora: “...dafuq kind of club is this defense club???”

AND DIRECTLY CONTRADICTING THE LAST EPISODE YUMOTO IS NOT INTERESTED IN PICKING UP GIRLS

This definitely supports the ‘cumpulsory heterosexuality’ theory, however; Yumoto last episode was talking about girls in a polite, “this is what I’m supposed to do” kind of way. This episode, he must feel freer with his feelings that he can admit that he’s not interested to his senpais.

Or maybe cuddling Wombat is just WAY more fun than all of those things lol

EN STOP IT YOU ARE NOT OLD-

OH. It’s a vanity thing, is it?

Wow Atsushi talk about throwing shade

Srz is that any way to talk to your boyfriend???

I wish I knew what animes they were referencing - I took a bunch of caps here but they’re not really relevant I guess unless someone wants to tell me what they’re talking about

En basically called Atsushi an otaku ffft

WHY ARE YOU PETTING EN YUMOTO

HIS HAIR IS NOWHERE NEAR AS FLUFFY AS YOURS

Though En definitely looks cute when he’s being tickled... ok Yumoto carry on

….Ryuu what are you talking about approximately no one is fooled by your indifference

TICKLE FIGHT

This scene is adorable - THE BLUSHES

So many laughs

YUMOTO NOTICING THAT AND NOT HAVING ANY REACTION

Aww they’re all so smol

Also the rest of them, their eyes were kept proportionate to their bodies but LOOK AT EN

His eyes are like waaaaay bigger and innocent

Double AWWW

The nodding at Yumoto’s stupidity lolol

Tho Yumoto still manages to be adorable wtf look at his happy face

Your hair is VERY pink like why

BABY TRANSFORMATIONS AWWW

But seriously the ‘love making’ thing sounds SOOOO inappropriate coming out of smol Yumoto

Like when Wombat said it I cringed

If it weren’t for the gutter my mind would be homeless

THE BAGGY CLOTHES

Hi there, fourth wall

Omg Ryuu why are you so cute

SMOL POWERS

Tripping on the clothes or perhaps because of little legs

NOW IO IS TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS STAHHHHHHP

No seriously look at his face!

Though his pupils are two different sizes in this screencap lol

CHILD ENDANGERMENT DUDE

Atchan with more fourth wall breaking

And they figured out the enemy very quickly! They seem more observant as children than they are regularly

Okay, they say kindergarteners but they look like 3 year olds or babies

I CANNOT at Ryuu’s hair spikes getting smaller and less detailed

Also his face reminds me that his voice in this scene is hysterical

THE MODESTY LEAVES

ATSUSHI WHY IS YOUR BUTT IN THE AIR STOP THAT

En and the fourth wall for the third time

RYUU WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOUR PENIS

And you’d think image-conscious Atsushi would be the one most embarrassed about being naked babies in public but NO APPARENTLY IO IS SUPER SHY

Sad baby Io sounds so pathetic

And Ryuu hardly seems worried

Yumoto rolled a perception check and got a 20 like whoah

RYUU AND EN ARE SAVAGE AF 

SMOL NAKED BABIES ATTEMPTING TO LOOK BADASS- all except Io who just wants the fuck out of here lol

How are they even still able to fight?? Their powers were diminished earlier??? Is it because they realized it was an illusion?

CHUBBEH BABY BUTT

AAAAND NAKED IN PUBLIC

Did their clothes just vanish???

And Io’s STILL embarrassed.

Meanwhile Yumoto has his priorities straight I guess

Also WHY IS IT SUDDENLY NIGHTTIME WASN’T IT JUST MORNING CUDDLES TIME???

YOU’RE JUST WORRIED ABOUT THEM BEATING YOU I MEAN C’MON AT LEAST LAUGH AT THEIR NUDITY

OH IT’S NIGHT SO HE CAN LOOK AT THE STARS AND REMEMBER THINGS AGAIN THAT’S WHY IT ALL HAS TO COME FULL CIRCLE BECAUSE PLOT

Ryuu you have no tact sheesh

Atsushi is STILL throwing shade like a pro. He must take lessons from Arima the sass master.

And we end on Atsushi reminiscing about Kinshirou and their stargazing adventures but THIS BOTHERS ME BECAUSE OF COURSE YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT HE WISHED FOR YOU DIP. Context wise, it’s obvious Kinshirou told him. I mean, he might be meaning he’s since forgotten the wish (which would explain his falling out with Kinshirou in another dimension other than the curry thing) but showing that flashback in such detail and then having Atsushi remember it (or hinted that he remembers it) but without hinting that he knows what Kinshirou wished for is just kind of.... idk it bothers me. That line wasn’t 100% necessary, or perhaps it could have been something like “I don’t remember what he wished for”. Of course, for all I know he could have said that but crunchyroll could have translated it poorly idk.

Buuuut that’s the end! That was mostly just an enjoyable “aww” episode with not a lot of substance other than we discover that Kinshirou is dramatic AF, En is self conscious (perhaps even moreso than Atsushi, or possibly just vain) and Io is definitely embarrassed by public nudity. Hm. Maybe you guys have some more intelligent commentary.

I’m gonna shoot to get Ep 5 done in the next couple days (maybe hours... but this shit takes forever) because I want to finish compiling all this stuff so I can get to writing these plot bunnies that just bit me in the ass... buuuut I need research. Man... En the lazy is definitely my spirit animal OTL

[drink-n-watch]

  Genre : Science Fiction, music, wish fulfillment, parody

Episodes: 13

Studio: AIC, A.P.P.P.

  Oji, I mean Gabriel, is not having fun! One minute he was a lean mean rock god at the night if his glory and then he blinked and it was all gone. Now he’s just another middle-aged salary man shlub working way too many hours at a boring desk job just to keep his modest lifestyle. His wife doesn’t get it. She’s throwing out his guitars to make room for appliances. His son doesn’t get it, all he cares about is his silly power rangers like show. His friends don’t get it, they’re all old suddenly. But deep down there’s a passion still burning in Gabriel’s soul and it might just save the galaxy.

When I saw this older series (1999 – whoa) pop up on Crunchyroll, I was intrigued how that title matched up to the unassuming man in a tie, obviously not enjoying whatever he was typing on a computer that as pictured on the thumbnail. I read up on the synopsis. A washed-up metal guitarist turned salaryman has to fight an interstellar battle through his rock! Sounded delightfully oddball. I had to give it a watch.

you don’t need to take notes…well, if you insist

I am a staunch defender of the quality of contemporary anime and the importance of visuals to the medium. So it might surprise you to hear that I really enjoyed the classic look of this show. Don’t get me wrong, it looks old, retro even. You get a super strong 80s vibe from everything (despite being released almost 2 decades later) that was so popular 2 years ago. (I like to pretend I actually know what the 80s looked like. I don’t. I’m assuming…)

I suppose the visuals didn’t bother me because they must have been fairly impressive at the time. The designs are old fashioned but good and realistic enough to not look stupid. An odd thing for what is essentially a parody. There are occasional stylish touches added to backgrounds or scenes edited to look like old school hair rock heavy metal videos, both of which added a lot of visual interest in my opinion. And the unpretentious voice acting only made the production more charming.

Don’t get me wrong. It shows its age. There is very little movement. Still shots and reused scenes are both very frequent and of course, the aspect ratio is the old 4:6 letterbox which made me have to play with me screenshot settings every time. None of this matters much until you get to the space battles. There, the repetitive imagery and lack of dynamic animation really brought down the action. But otherwise, the production fits the narrative well.

what more can you ask for

The tag line of The Legend of Black Heaven is “Hard rock save the space” isn’t that awesome! It’s not quite up to the glory of “all your bases are belong to us” but it’s in the same vein. And it fills me with joy. Weirdly enough there are a few scenes that take place in the US with English speaking characters and it’s maybe the best English I’ve ever heard in an anime. They could have just let that voice actor proofread the tag line. Or maybe it’s that way on purpose to which I would have to tip my hat!

That’s a bit of a running theme through the series. Either because I’m not familiar enough with classic space fighting anime or 80s metal bands but I was never really sure of what’s funny on purpose and what was funny just to me. In the end, it doesn’t matter all that much but I still felt like some things were getting lost in translation. Speaking of which, the Crunchyroll subtitles did explain the silly Japanese wordplay which I thought was a nice touch.

Generally speaking, the story is pretty much what you think it is. The official synopsis really sums it up well. And the characters are quite realistic if a bit one-note. Note…get it… Cause music. One thing I should say, it often looks like a middle-aged dude’s fantasy in anime form. Oji is bored and disillusioned with his run of the mill life, annoyed by the responsibilities of having a family and a full-time job. And he’s not particularly devoted to either. Then all a sudden he can save the world through his sweet guitar riffs. He is very selfish in this new endeavour, ignoring his wife, blowing off work and even putting his son’s life in danger in the process. And the consequences are, having beautiful women throwing themselves at him. Having his poor wife (he puts her through a lot) appreciate him more because he’s in a better mood, earning the admiration of his son and all those around him. It’s pretty funny in a way but also a little sad at times. Gabe/Oji is fun enough to watch but I couldn’t help but think that it must be awful to have to put up with a guy like him in real life.

I’m sorry

I should say that this show didn’t really speak much to my sensibilities. It purposefully chose themes and topics I just have no connection to. Moreover, there isn’t all that much to the story. The space fights and music scenes are all the same so it did get a bit boring and the middle drags at times. As such, the fact that I still had fun with it speaks to its quality and I’m glad to have watched it.

If you are into the retro vibe, old school heavy metal or old school space battles (although that’s a rather underused element) you might want to give the Legend of Black Heaven a try. If nothing else, you can live your midlife crisis vicariously through anime and get it out of the way. Efficient!

to be honest, I’m not sure which is which

Favourite character: Eriko

What this anime taught me: Your partner will probably forgive just about anything as long as you look cool doing it

A drunkard is like a whisky bottle, all neck and belly and no head

Suggested drink: Black Heaven (ooohhh yeeeaaahhh)

Every time we hear the word “dream” – take a sip

Every time Oji’s family ruins everything – roll your eyes

Every time ladies be gossipy – sigh

Every time the three stooges show up – raise your glass

Every time Oji has bedhead – take a sip

Every time there’s a concert flashback – light your lighter (don’t have one? take a sip then!)

Every time we see or hear about the “Flying V” – take a sip

Every time Oji’s wife gets mad – agree

Every time we see the guitar store – take a sip

Every time Yuki wears green lipstick – take a sip

Every time we see the food cart – get a snack!

Every time we see the city lights at night – take a sip

Every time Oji gets drunk – join him

I love Bones’ visuals. They really speak to me. So once again I uploaded a whole bunch of screencaps to Pinterest and Imgur.

      The Legend of Black Heaven and The Power of Midlife Crisis Genre : Science Fiction, music, wish fulfillment, parody Episodes: 13 Studio: AIC, A.P.P.P. Oji, I mean Gabriel, is not having fun!