#ignominy taglist

[songmingisthighs]

Also I just realised that I wasn't tagged for igonomy MOTHER TAG ME

lmao pls i just realized too lmao

dw i'll add you !

[ali-annals]

angel, don't fly so close to me (i'll pull you down eventually)

Pairing: Jason Todd x Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Rating: T | CW: recreational drinking, poor flirting (not inappropriate) | WC: 430 | Ao3 | Prompt | for @otome-wandering | A/N: not beta'd & written in like 30 minutes, so feel free to point out any typos <3

Jason's not the best at flirting; luckily the girl he's interested in thinks his attempts are cute anyways

The quiet R&B tune playing over the speakers muffled the noises of the bar just after its rush hour, melding into one not disharmonious layer of noise.

Headlights passing by cast stripes of lights across a young woman’s face as she gazed out, chin propped on her hand as she bobbed a toothpick-stabbed olive in her martini glass absentmindedly. 

The man at the bar counter mirrored her position, only staring at her instead of the bleak rainy night outside. The bartender caught his attention, and he straightened, turning away from the object of his thoughts to close his tab. 

Tucking his wallet back into his inner jacket pocket, he was distracted from his surroundings, blinking in surprise when he looked up again and the woman was perched on the stool one over from his.

She received the replenished glass with a small smile and nod of thanks, sipping at the drink appreciatively.

Deciding he’d better regret the things he does that the things he doesn’t, he swiveled on the stool, leaning a little closer so he wouldn’t have to shout over the buzz of the business. 

Noticing his attempt to get her attention, she leaned in a little as well, turning her stunning baby blues to study his face. 

He cleared his throat. “Did you fall from heaven?”

Her brow furrowed at his strange opener.

Flustered, he tried to remember how the next part of the pickup line went. This was why he never tried to pick up people at bars (or anywhere else).

“‘Cause that would explain what happened to your face.”

The incredulous look on her face deepened. “Excuse me?”

She even had a cute French accent, a small part of his brain noticed, while the rest yelled at him to fix this horrible flub.

“Wait, no, that came out wrong!” Panicking, he waved his hands earnestly at her. “I’m so sorry.” He hung his head. “I should’ve stopped a drink ago…and not tried pickup lines; they’re not my style. Have a good night.”

Her soft voice paused him as he slid off his stool, prepared to leave in ignominy.

He glanced back.

She was smiling earnestly at him. “You happen to be my type, and you’re polite, even if it comes across awkwardly. It’s cute. Will you stay while I finish my drink?”

He nodded, hopping onto the stool next to her that she patted in invitation. “I’m Jason.”

“Marinette,” she grinned over the rim of her glass. She shook his hand calmly. “It’s nice to meet you. So, if pickup lines aren’t your style, what is?”

Taglist (open): @jennifer-rose123 @questioning-blob-of-fog @official-jasonette-server

[etrnlsanshine]

click here for stray kids!smau series

click here for tomorrow x together!smau series

click here for general ateez fic recs!

a collection of ateez!smau series that i have read, am currently reading or want to read (so I don't lose track)!!

feel free to send an ask or a message about any atz social media au's that you have read and enjoyed, doesn't matter which member bc at this point I'll read any and all of them bc I am obsessed... enjoy <3

fyi chapter mentions are for me to keep track bc i’m not on any taglists!!

♡ -> personal favorites!!

ot8/multiple members

tongue tied (on hiatus??) ♡ ch 14

hooked (completed)

sweet november (on hiatus??) ch 22

milky way (completed)

always him (ongoing) ch 44

jung wooyoung

time of love (completed) ♡

cold brew (completed) ♡

daily dm (completed) ♡

dream chase (completed)

secretly yours (completed)

cache (completed)

choi san

time of love (completed) ♡

mocha (completed) ♡

heartbreakers club (completed)

can’t you see (on hiatus???)

caught up (on hiatus) ch 7

odd eye (completed)

i can’t believe it’s you (completed)

wingin’ it (completed)

serendipity (completed) ♡

ignominy (completed)

system error (ongoing) ch 14

park seonghwa

iced americano (completed) ♡

sans (completed) ♡

sugar honey ice & tea (completed) ♡

a classic trope (completed)

the kiss thief (completed) ♡

just say hi (completed)

song mingi

iced tea (completed) ♡

for life (completed)

sucks to suck lol (completed)

not my type (completed)

trip together (completed)

lavender haze (completed)

genesis (completed) ch xxv

kim hongjoong

blue skies (completed)

the regular (completed)

lonely people’s club (completed) ♡

not that much of a vip

not my type (completed)

back to you (completed)

jeong yunho

wave (completed)

lovefool (completed)

sugar (on hold) chapter 3

algedonic (completed)

somebody else (completed)

seeing myself in you (completed) ♡ ch 75

chai latte (completed) ch 13

perhaps love (completed) ♡

when temporary becomes forever (completed)

on a high (on hiatus ig) ch 1

choi jongho

caramel macchiato (completed) ♡

kang yeosang

matcha latte (completed) ♡

cruel summer (ongoing)

only you (completed)

sweeter than candy (completed) ch 71

cherry on top (completed)

consenescere (ongoing)

messed up (on hold ig) ch 9

[talestobetold]

Mechs Songs Voting Bracket: Round Two Results and Round Three Preview

Main hub post here

Round Two Results

Winners:

1. Underworld Blues (79.1%)

2. Riddle of the Sphinx (76.7%)

3. Favoured Son (79.1%)

4. Sirens (58.1%)

5. Prometheus (62.8%)

6. Ties That Bind (58.1%)

7. Elysian Fields (74.4%)

8. One Eyed Jacks (86.0%)

Round Three Preview

Round three of voting will be the round of 64, HNOC division. I’ll post the voting form at 9:00PM PDT on June 11th and leave it open until 9:00PM PDT on June 13th. The match-ups are as follows. Here is a playlist of each of the songs in this round. 

1. “Blood and Whiskey” vs “ Skin and Bone”

2. “ Once and Future King” vs “ The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard”

3. “Stranger” vs “Hellfire”

4. “Pellinore and the Beast” vs “Holder of the Grail”

5. “Empty Trail” vs “Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard”

6. “Pieces” vs “The Hanged Man Rusts”

7. “Peacemaker” vs “Lucky Sevens”

8. “Lost in the Cosmos” vs “Frankenstein”

Taglist under the cut

Tagging: @itsthatscooter @treesandkeys @kulttuurinkurittama @transgemder-mkblackwood @charcoalowl @starstrucksomehow @mostly-void-partially-frogs @abnormalvampire64 @harryanthe @miralines @lost-in-the-cosmos-lovely​ @klatukattdreams @vang0bus​ @realcanadianmoose​ ​@tentiredcats​ @genderfluidelijahvolkov​ @phoenix-ish @dullahermes​ @vantaxlia​

Anyone else: Reply saying so if you want to be tagged in future posts so you don’t miss anything

[bugsyfics]

Hey! Can I please request prompt#38 with undertaker, prompt #4 with Sebastian,and prompt #47 for ciel please?Thank you!!

A/N: Hii! Thank you for the lovely requests <3

Tw: mention of overdose/suicide

Undertaker

Prompt: #38

It was of pretense your true love would be yours forever. In fact, whenever that shimmer in your eye faded after every ‘I love you,’ he spoke against your apprehension.

“Stay with me,” Undertaker would mumble into the crook of your neck.

Though your heart skipped a beat every single time he uttered those words, you couldn’t help but feel heartbroken.

It was loss. It made you afraid and vulnerable; it broke your trust in those who cherished you down to each vessel within their beating heart. But one thing you couldn’t decipher was whether you were more weary of loss or of love. Love always seemed to betray you with those untimely tragedies, so the words that your partner spoke never failed to tear you to pieces.

You knew of the consequences of your actions. Simply you would leave in ignominy and be shunned by your bitch of a mother. Though you still remained uncertain how your lover would take it all. Sure he was happy-go-lucky, but that was all a facade. Underneath, there lied a fragile soul, easily crushed by the barbarity of this world. The world he claimed to have failed himself and his dearest friends, then you.

Perhaps, it was the chemist to blame or Undertaker's lack of warning, but the lazy smile that lingered on your ashen face made it clear you were fond of your choice.

As the glass prescription bottle clattered to the floor out of your weak hand, you watched Undertaker catch you. His mouth hung open a bit, grabbing at your pale face.

Your body went limp in Undertaker’s arms.

Free. You felt closer to yourself than you had all those years of living. Closer to your self. And though you knew this feeling wouldn’t last, you realized you weren’t afraid anymore of the suffocating darkness “love” had sucked out of your essence. You finally found the beauty of it —your longing grew stronger for your heart’s desire.

Just as you were enveloped in ear-splitting silence, an ethereal bliss washed over you. You came to your senses.

Your eyes opened, only your darling in sight.

Undertaker shook his head with a shallow laugh, brushing wisps of hair away from your face.

“God, you’re so annoying,” he exhaled, a single tear slipping down his cheek.

“But I can stay with you forever.”

Now the color of chartreuse, your eyes danced over Undertaker’s, bright with a similar glow.

Sebastian Michaelis

Prompt: #4

Silky black fur and oh so perfect paws, you have!

Sebastian couldn’t help but admire such a beautiful creature. He was fascinated with how the feline’s limber body took each step without a care. Those pleasant, soft purrs against his chest nearly melted the man. Poor Y/N, she watched as her partner gave more attention to the old cat rather than herself. Jesus, she was jealous over nothing, but that didn’t stop her from spying on the strange interaction.

“I love you far more than anything in this world,” Sebastian cooed softly atop the cat’s head.

You scoffed. He is beyond smitten of that thing over me!

Creeping back behind the bushes, it was best for you to leave before you were caught.

“Darling?”

Oh no, of course he could sense you there. Popping your head past the hedge, you were summoned to him.

With a little attitude, your lip jutted out and arms crossed.

“You love it more than me, huh?”

“Yes,” Sebastian smiled, “cats are simply more superior beings than humans after all.”

“Seb! You’re so mean,” you whined, stamping your foot like a child. A faint smile tugged at your lips.

Quickly, he stood sitting the cat down, and embraced you with a soft hum. “It was a joke, dear. I swear.”

Surprising Sebastian, you giggled and kissed the tip of his nose. “Oh, I know!”

In amusement, Sebastian stroked his chin. “You know, I’ll never understand how you can switch emotions with such ease. You’re an interesting one, my love.”

Ciel Phantomhive

Prompt: #47

“I didn’t mean to... Ciel, you know that.”

The earl exhaled, a shallow laugh fell from his parted lips. The Darjeeling tea in his cup, sat for a while during your heated argument, so when he finally took a sip he cringed at the coolness of it. He couldn’t complain too much, he needed that quick drink to suppress his distaste.

The earl spoke, “I can’t take you seriously —you disappoint me. How did you think I would accept something like that? You think telling my adversaries where my ships are docked is the proper way to get ‘even?’”

Too upset to continue, Ciel shook his head and pushed his teacup aside. He mumbled to himself and grabbed for a pen and paper to take a few notes. You couldn’t read what he wrote from where you sat, but you knew it wasn’t good. Finally, he set the pen down and glared back up at you.

“Y/N—”

“Shut your mouth! You must be a fool to not realize that what I did was imperative. My God, Ciel! You forced me to choose between you and my dreams,” you scoffed.

“And, and, what was I supposed to tell those men, knowing that you pissed me off?” you hissed.

Ciel slammed his cup of tea, rattling the chinaware, and pointed a finger at you. “Would you for once, stop being a bitch?!”

You froze, unable to believe that he would call you such a name. Ciel realized what he said and how terrible he sounded, talking to a woman he was courting that way, and covered his open mouth. His eyes wide.

Standing, you threw your kerchief to the ground.

“I will stay at the townhouse for a while… Until you get your act together and learn how to speak to a lady, there won’t be any further communication. It’s up to you to fix this mess.”

You motioned to the butler, ordering him to pack your belongings. That afternoon you left for London.

— bugs

Taglist: @second-weeb-chick @master-of-schadenfreude

[pfreadsandwrites]

Prose/Fanfiction Masterpost

My portfolio is small and slow to update, but thanks for checking out what little I do have on here! If you’d like to be added to my fanfic taglist, please message or send me an ask, or like this post.

This is a list of actual fics I’ve written, including one-shots, drabbles, prompt requests and series. If you’re looking for my headcanons, please go here:

(fics in blue are my personal favourite works)

COMPLETED FICS

Acquiescence (Kakashi x female reader)

PART 1/ PART 2/ PART 3

It never gets any easier, each time Kakashi has to leave.

不名誉・Ignominy

father/ son (coming soonish)

Nothing is here. Not time, not space. Just the ghost of a father, waiting for the ghost of a son. What else could limbo be for?

Other Requests

Kakashi comforting his s/o oneshot

Prompt One-shots

Prompt 56. Are you flirting with me?  (Kakashi x reader)

Prompt 37: “Dance with me”  (Kakashi x female reader)

Prompt 154: “There’s only one bed…”/Prompt 182. I’ve wanted this for so long…“ (Kakashi x reader)

Prompt 65: “Did you do something different with your hair?” (Kakashi x female reader)

Prompt 92. “Are you drunk?”/Prompt 67. “Stop being so cute.“  (Kakashi x female reader)

Prompt 60: “Do you think you could teach me that?” (Kakashi x female reader)

Prompt 77. “Are you jealous?���/Prompt. 54. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”(Kakashi x female reader)

Prompt 15: “Don’t die on me - please.” (Kakashi x female reader)

Prompt 50. "Will you marry me?" (Yamato x reader)

FUTURE PROJECTS (aka it’s still in my head but i will definitely write it, once it is on this list it is HAPPENING)

3 more prompt requests

2 general requests - A Kakashi FWB situation and a Kakashi having his first time with s/o on wedding night

Ignominy (Kakashi version)

Better Days (A three-part Kakashi x reader fic series inspired by three songs)

Fireman AU Oneshot

Some kinda smut oneshot involving a mirror

[bobby-hockey]

CHERRY TREE

arc: gongshow (arc introduction here) tws: vehicle accident, death.  length: 2k. summary: in which i incontrovertibly hurt the capitals. also, sasha “ghost” molchalin gets an unwilling new roommate. taglist: @kidsarentallwrite

-

Philadelphia Flyers @NHLFlyers - Nov. 4 They may be from Washington DC, but this is the City of Brotherly Love! Bring it on, Capitals! 

Philadelphia Flyers @NHLFlyers - Nov. 4 Mitty, Martin, and Molchalin start tonight. Retweet for a chance to win five gallons of Flyers-themed M&M(&M)s!

-

Clarence Taylor. Even the mention of his name is enough to make Sasha break out in annoyed hives—no defenseman has ever been able to read Sasha like Taylor does, and it’s literally the most aggravating thing. Like—yes, okay, Taylor is the captain of the Washington Capitals, was the first overall pick in 2012, got the Calder his rookie year and the Norris last year, has been to the All-Stars more times than Sasha cares to count. That doesn’t mean everyone needs to jump on Taylor’s dick. The guy is fucking irritating. 

“Calm down,” Marty says during warm-ups, spotting the look on Sasha’s face when Taylor skates by with a snide little comment lobbed in Sasha’s direction. “I can see your blood pressure rising.” 

“He’s a bastard,” Sasha says. He wants to snap his stick in half and maybe use the pointy ends to commit a homicide. Marty’d scruff him like a little cat and Sasha wouldn’t get more than a few strides before his feet cartoonishly skated out from underneath him. But it’s the thought that counts.

“You’re giving him exactly the reaction he wants,” Marty says. “And you’re not special, Ghost, he does that to everyone.” 

Sasha does not snap his stick in half, but it takes a Herculean effort. “Don’t bother trying your hippie elementary school teacher horseshit on me,” he says. “I hate him.” 

Marty sighs. “Just don’t let him get in your head,” he says, sounding resigned. 

Too late. Sasha takes a wild shot at the empty goal and misses—the puck ricochets off the crossbar. Goddammit. 

The Washington Capitals are a well-oiled machine: a steady, productive offense backstopped by a tenacious, elite defense and an almost jaw-droppingly good goaltender, and Sasha hates playing against them, mostly because they never fall for Mitty and Marty’s fakeouts. By second intermission they’re still deadlocked at 0-0, and the game—already ugly—is starting to get nasty. While there haven’t been any fights yet, Sasha can feel the tension in the air, a heavy weight like a storm brewing on the horizon. 

So maybe Sasha curses at Taylor a little more thoroughly than is strictly warranted when he shoves Sasha into the boards. Sasha hates the guy. It’s been a hard, awful game. He’s allowed.

“Your mother must be so ashamed of you,” Taylor says as the referee whistles the first play of the third period dead, black mouth-guard half-hanging out of his mouth. He’s Canadian, Taylor is, and so is Marty, and while they have the same kind of soft, shallow vowels, Marty is fun and easy to listen to but Taylor’s voice grates against Sasha’s nerves. Sasha’s not a fighter—why would he be, when Marty is 6’10” and impossible to take down—but a single word out of Taylor’s mouth makes Sasha want to drop his gloves and start swinging.

“Go fuck yourself,” Sasha says, scowling. 

Taylor grins and, in a bad imitation of Sasha’s Russian accent and a worse imitation of Sasha’s voice, says “Go fuck yourself,” all mocking like. “Come on, Molchalin, what’re you gonna do? Frown at me some more? Y’know your face could get stuck like that.” 

Sasha sneers. His shift is up and he’s supposed to be getting off ice—Hartsy’s half over the boards, looking at him expectantly—and Taylor’s heading back to the Capitals bench, this grin on his face like he’s pleased with himself at getting the last word. Sasha doesn’t care for it. At all. 

He drops his shoulder and half-checks Taylor as he leaves the ice, sending the defenseman reeling, and when Taylor regains his footing and turns around the grin’s gone, replaced by an annoyed stare. 

“Three months and four days,” Sasha says, although if asked he wouldn’t be able to say why: the number just pops into his head, trips off his tongue. “Keep an eye out.” 

“What the fuck, Molchalin?” Taylor shouts after him. 

Hah, Sasha thinks, and skates back to the Flyers bench. 

The Flyers lose—one of the Capitals manages a nasty goal forty seconds before the final buzzer, and the Flyers make an ignominious retreat into the locker room. But that’s fine. Sasha doesn’t mind. It wasn’t Taylor who scored the goal, and Sasha played well. That’s all that he cares about.

-

Washington Capitals @Capitals - Feb. 8 Just try to beat us at home, @PSSkimmers. 

Port Sterling Skimmers @PSSkimmers - Feb. 8 We’re setting sail for Washington DC… time to tackle the Capital! 

Washington Capitals @Capitals - Feb. 8 Team bus has been involved in a collision on the I-50E returning from Delaware. Updates will be posted as they come in.

-

Of course, Sasha thinks to himself, staring up at the floating, incorporeal form of Clarence Taylor hovering over him, Taylor always did have a way to make him regret literally every decision he’d ever made in his life.

“What the fuck,” Taylor howls in his face. “Three months and four days. That’s what you said. You motherfucker. What, you some fucking psychic or something? What kind of sick freak does that and doesn’t give any context? Jesus Christ. You’re an asshole.” 

Literally five seconds ago Sasha was sleeping. Why is this happening. He’s not awake enough for this.

“What?” Sasha says, when Taylor seems to break off, and then he remembers their last meeting, back in November: Taylor’s shocked green eyes peering at him over the Capitals bench, blond eyebrows furrowed as he gaped at Sasha. He rubs his eyes, sits up, and then, around a yawn, says “You were counting?” 

“Wh—Of course I was counting,” Taylor says, floating backwards. Maybe he’d think it weirder, Clarence Taylor literally floating in Sasha’s bedroom wearing a Capitals shirt and sweatpants, but then again, Sasha’s seen weird, and this is not that. No offense to Mitty, but Mitty kind of breaks the scale of weird shit all on his own. “You mean to tell me that if some asshole came at you with some ominously specific date you’d just, I don’t know, write it off, or whatever? Of course not! I thought you were just gonna play some, some stupid prank on me or something, some bullshit like that, and then—” 

His form flickers out, the space he had been occupying suddenly empty. Sasha blinks. 

“And then what?” Sasha says. Silence. “For the record, I would definitely ignore it, because it would be bullshit and wouldn’t matter anyways.” 

Except Taylor clearly hadn’t let it go. 

There’s no response. Sasha reaches for his phone on his bedside table, and blinks again when he turns it on and it starts buzzing almost incessantly with incoming texts. They’d just finished a long roadie through Canada, and they didn’t have anything except practice later today, so the fact that the group chat is absolutely lighting up is something of a surprise. 

Sasha scrolls through quickly, not bothering to try and decipher most of the texts, but he more or less gets the gist of it: some shit happened with the Capitals. Something big. Maybe Taylor did something stupid. 

He rolls out of bed. Shuffles into his living room, scratching his stomach. Light slants in through the window, and Sasha squints at the sun peeking in through the blinds—it’s earlier than he thought it was. Fumbles for the remote, turns on the TV, switches it to the news—

“Oh, fuck,” Sasha says, suddenly wide awake. His stomach churns. 

It wasn’t Taylor doing something stupid. Not even close. They’re playing footage: a nighttime aerial shot of a charter bus, a tipped-over semi-truck plowed into the side like a beached whale. Streetlights and ambulance strobes and spotlights from helicopters illuminate firefighters and EMTs carting out hockey player after hockey player and bundling them into ambulances. 

“It looks better like this,” Taylor says, his detached, oddly clinical voice coming from somewhere over Sasha’s shoulder, and Sasha almost trips over his coffee table and goes headfirst into his TV. “Not as much blood.” 

God. That’s a horrifying thought. Sasha lets out a string of foul curses, running a hand through his hair. If they had heard, all of the generations of women who came before him would have either given him an ass beating into next year or washed his mouth out with soap. Since he’s in America and they’re buried in Russia, they’ll have to settle for turning in their graves. 

“I only caught about three words of whatever you just said,” Taylor says, “but yeah. That.”  

Sasha looks at him—properly looks at him. Taylor looks mostly exactly like how Sasha saw him last, back in December: blond hair spiked up, red Capitals long-sleeved shirt, sweatpants from some brand Sasha doesn’t recognize, a pair of Ugg boots because apparently Taylor is a teenage girl. He’s dressed down, and he’s see-through, but other than that he looks pretty much like Sasha would expect Taylor to look, even if he wasn’t anticipating the boots.

“You’re dead,” he says, almost a question.

“I think so,” Taylor says. His voice is odd, too, echoing and faintly staticky, like he’s standing in an empty room and Sasha is hearing his voice over the phone from far away. 

Clarence Taylor, dead. It doesn’t seem possible. Sits wrong. Sasha presses his mouth into a thin line to avoid admitting that, because he would never. “And you’re stuck with me.” 

Taylor almost laughs. His chest expands and deflates like he’s actually breathing. Do ghosts breathe? Sasha’s nickname might be ‘Ghost,’ but somehow he doesn’t think he’s an authority on whether spirits need lungs or not. “You think that if I could be anywhere in the world, I’d be hanging out with you?” 

“Nope,” Sasha says, “which means you’re definitely stuck with me.”

“Just what I always wanted,” Taylor mutters, in a way that means this is absolutely not what he wanted, in any sort of way, at all. 

Sasha would agree, but that would mean agreeing with Clarence fucking Taylor, and he has absolutely no urge to do so at any costs. “You don’t have to sound so thrilled about it,” Sasha says. 

“Trust me, I’m not,” Taylor says, and then he fades out of existence, like he was never there to begin with. 

If Clarence Taylor simply didn’t exist, Sasha’s life would have been so much easier. 

But now the guy’s dead, and Sasha doesn’t know what to think.

-

Washington Capitals @Capitals - Feb. 9 We’ve received word that several players have passed away, including associate captain RJ Radulov and Jean-Sebastien Fontaine. We ask that you keep their families in mind during this trying time. Stay strong.

Philadelphia Flyers @NHLFlyers - Feb. 9 Our hearts go out to our friends the @Capitals, their families, and everyone affected by the I-50E tragedy. We’re here for you. #CapsStrong

Washington Capitals @Capitals - Feb. 9 Capitals captain Clarence Taylor remains in critical condition at Pennsylvania Hospital.

[songmingisthighs]

Hi hi! Can I please be added to the tag list for Ignominy? I’m hooked on it! 💖

yeahh sure !!

[songmingisthighs]

I could have sworn I asked to be on the ignominy taglist but oh well. Add me pls (not this account. The other one lol) actually, just add me to your permanent taglist lol I love you smt 🩷

jasjddj did you really ??? I mayhaps forgotten to add you 😬

[songmingisthighs]

I was gone for so long, but…. I NEED TO BE IN THAT TAGLIST AND ACTUALLY I NEED THE WHOLE SANNIE FIC RIGHT ABOUT NOW

AJSNDKDJ PLS OKOK I'LL PUT YOU IN THE MASTERLIST AINA MY GHAWD

[songmingisthighs]

can i be added to the taglist for ignominy please? <33

ofc!

[songmingisthighs]

Hii can you please add me in Ignominy taglist??

yeaa suree

[songmingisthighs]

okay bestie cache was SOO GOOD?? was low key rooting for a yunho redemption after algedonic but as soon as he sent those texts i knew it was over for my hopes lmaooo ALSO VERY MUCH HERE FOR POSSIBLE SOOBIN ENDGAME?? LIKE IT WASNT REALLY CONFIRMED BUT I LOVE HIM SM, also could you please add me to the ignominy tag list?? i’m really excited to see what you do!

AWW THANK YOU 🥺🥺🥺

pls you think yunho would get his redemption that easy ??? lmao his redemption was his death and jonathan >:D andddd the romantic arc issss optional 👀👀👀

for sure i'll add you to the taglist !! :D

[songmingisthighs]

Hi! I too would like to be added to the taglist please 😊

oooo yea sure ! :D

[songmingisthighs]

taglist (cont.) :

@justbaozi25 @idjitscentral @angelicyeo @jackinmyarea @darkdayelixer @booktoad @cqndiedcherries

@glitterystarlightmeow @starjoongie1117 @cutie-wooyo

Ignominy

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

<< previous | m.list | next >>

ch. lxxxviii - 2 month mark

hybrid!san × human!reader

buy me coffee ?

everyone wants to belong, it's basic human need to connect with people around them. what happens when you're responsible for someone who belongs to two worlds but at the same time belongs to neither ? worst part is, what happens when it's your ex ?

You hate to admit to your uncle but you love your job to bits. It's not like he had to twist your arm for you to accept the job anyways but you hated to admit that you kind of resent not working at the academy when he first offered you the position a couple years back. Every day you only experience good stuff and despite the work stress and pressure, there would always be something to make up for it. And surprisingly, it's not always your friends.

It was easy to fall into the rhythm but it was even easier to find the joy in the work. Compared to working corporate pharnaceutical, the academy was heaven. You didn't realize that the work load could be so diverse, one day you're working in your office, the next you're pitching classes to talent agencies and entertainment companies, then somehow you find yourself meeting actual professional dancers who are friends with the current trainers and even meeting trainees who are set to debut in a year or less. Sure, it might be because of your role and rank but it's still fun and amazing nevertheless. The students were awesome as well and while you didn't get the chance to know them personally, you love seeing how happy they are after class, simply enjoying youth.

From time to time, whenever you passed classes or students inside and outside the academy, you'd get reminded of your own youth. Particularly how hou spent the most important time of your life with San.

It had been a while since you talked to him and while you were glad that San seemed to be getting on with his life so easily, not even bothering to contact you again. Sure, you told him that you both needed time apart, but to completely cut you off after what he said? That's rich. You expected a bit of a struggle, him texting you fir at least the next several days and you having the joyous experience of leaving him on read. But of course, fate has been nothing but the equivalent of testicular torture on your emotion and soul.

With the slight (humongous) bitterness you were feeling, you could only hope that the package Seonghwa mentioned could cheer you up tremendously. Maybe one of your recent business acquaintances sucking up on you to get better deals, or maybe one of your friends playing dumb and later on would surprise you. So many possibilities and even the thought made you giddy.

Then a knock came to your door before the sound of it being pulled open and your heart began racing.

"I can see why you didn't hesitate to come work in your uncle's academy,"

Then your heart dropped to your stomach and your head snapped up so quick you could've sworn you heard a record scratch from inside your brain. Your body shot straight up and you stepped away from your desk when you realized who was standing just in your doorway.

San stood with the gentlest smile on his face and a bouquet in his hands, very reminiscent to the San you dated in high school specifically from your graduation day. Years passed and pressure building but that smile never changed.

Still, you were surprised to see him there, you might even thought that he was an illusion. So you did the first thing you can think of.

It was fortunate for San (and unfortunate for your petty side) that he has great reflex. Because just in the nick of time, San managed to dodge the mug filled with hot coffee that shattered upon impact on the wall behind him. It wasn't like you were trying to hurt him (that way), you just wanted to make sure you hadn't gone crazy.

For a moment, both of you could only stared at each other in disbelief; you not believing your own eyes, and San thinking that he may had almost lost brain function merely seconds ago. It was a miracle that San still had his grip on the flowers although he was afraid that the harsh grip might've crushed the stems. Just like how you almost crushed his skull. Not even the commotion of people peeking in to see what was going on and the sound of Hongjoong loudly asking what was going on and later on muffled and dragged away by who you can only assume is Jongho.

"What are you doing here?" You managed out.

Hearing your voice again made the tips of San's fingers tingle and ears burn slightly. It had been too long since he was able to clearly hear your voice without any animosity between you two. He was both glad and anxious to see you, but he was more terrified over the fact that his resolve falters quick just from being in the same room as you. But he couldn't give up just yet, he had a mission to accomplish and he was not about to let himself down. Again.

"I..." San stepped forward, warily looking at you in case you decide to throw something at him again. But when he realized that you were not tensed, he stood straighter and his shoulders relaxed. He carefully approached your desk and placed the bouquet of flowers on it gently. "I just wanted to see you to give you this, I... Haven't gotten the chance to congratulate you on your new job," he smiled. Your eyes automatically fell onto the flowers and you couldn't help but appreciate the beauty of purple hyacinths with leaves and white daisies peeking in and five white roses framing the bouquet like a border. Looking back into his eyes, you acted as if you were indiferent, "Oh yeah, thanks. I't's been... Two months already? So you're kinda late." Though the word 'late' stung, San did agree that his congratulatory expression was rather overdue. But he shrugged his shoulders, confident in himself and action, "Better late than never, right?" He wasn't hoping much, but he didn't expect you to look so guarded with him. Of course, for obvious reasons that he himself had personally provided in the past. "Really San, we haven't talked in a month and a half so why are you suddenly dropping into my office?" You crossed your arms at him.

It was now or never for San.

"(y/n), I've changed," he stated. You didn't say anything but you raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to continue wordlessly. "The last time we spoke... You were right, I was merely the shell of a man that I was before which was ironic since the 'man' you meant was a post pubescent teenager. I... Guess I didn't want to admit that I can actually get better because I was so used to in a state where my action and behaviour were easily excusable as hormonal imbalance, God knows how many people I need to apologize to and that's why I'm starting with you, the first person I ever hurt unintentionally, the person I swore would never hurt but in recent times, I've done nothing but. That's why... After our last chat, I started therapu and the moment I felt something was wrong, I slowly got myself back on meds. You were right, I wasn't in the right state of mind and it never occurred to me that before this, I've only been receiving help not because I wanted to but it's because people expected me too. I was so busy doing what people expect me to that I didn't even care that I was becoming such a mess which ended up burdening people more. I'm done living for other people, I'm done fixing myself for other people, (y/n). I want to start going after what I want." Your breath hitched at the mention of him hurting you and everything else. His words alone was enough to make you clutch on your own arms. It wasn't like you were desperately holding onto the fact that San had hurt you back then and several more times after that and even almost to the point of killing you. Again. But you have let go of the pain and though not completely, you didn't even think about it much anymore. Heck, you had managed to overcome the trauma and turn it into a lesson learnt through self-reflection. You had taken steps to grow in the past month and a half but you hadn't considered that San may have as well. But has he really?

With a your eyebrows scrunching in a frown of scrutiny, your hands dropped from your front to your sides, "What are you trying to say, San?"

Much to your surprise, San reached into his pocket and produced a box that you immediately recognized was from Tiffany and Co. He placed it on your desk, next to the flowers and before he could even say anything, the shock took over you and you rushed to smack San upside the head, producing a loud "OW" and a whine from him. Before he could recover, you rushed to close your office door before rushing back to glare at him. "That better not be what I think it is," you warned, glaring harshly at the puppy who has his bottom lip jutted out while rubbing at the impacted spot. "San, what were you thinking bringing that here!?" "Relax! It's an engagement ring, not a bomb!" He defended. Your eyes widened as large as it could go and your hand smacked his shoulder harshly, making him yelp again. "You idiot! I thought it was a promise ring or a damn bribe necklace! What were you thinking!" To say that you were dumbfounded was an understatement because you were... Bewildered, astounded, confused, and other big sounding words that just means "what in the actual fuck?". Still pouting, San slumped to the seat on the seat across your work chair and sighed, "I... I wanted to give you the option of coming back to me. Obviously, I don't want to force you to make a choice this big right now, but I just want to know where I'm committing to you. I've always wanted you to be the end game of my romance life and I still do. I didn't mean it as a way to pressure or burden you or something, (y/n), I'm stupid, not crazy," you couldn't help but crack a smile at his dumb self-depreciating joke that he took notice of. "Clearly, I took things the wrong way when my therapist said 'you need to start thinking of yourself for yourself'," San dejectedly said.

You could see that he was dejected, disappointed in himself and it helped pushing the wave of anger slightly away. With a long exhale, you leaned on your desk and tilted your head slightly to take in how San looked. Here, you have in your office that is much shabbier than his, a big time CEO whom people fear and respect, bowing his head in shame and regret like a child who just got caught stealing a cookie before dinner. This San is far closer to the old San that you loved, the San that you dated and was able to share everything with and it was like your high school self came back, reminding you that despite everything, his shortcomings are stemmed from the fact that there is a child inside him that wasn't being tended to.

Frequently, you question your decision and motives, but as you pulled San's head to your stomach and began rubbing his back, you didn't find the need to ask why you even did that. You did that because he looked like he needed it. It wasn't immediate, but San slowly inched forward to wrap his arms around your knees, closing his eyes to calm himself down. "I don't know why I keep messing up, (y/n). I just don't want to burden anyone anymore," he confessed, sounding very sincere. You chuckled and shook your head at his admission, "That's your problem San, you did everything right but one. You're taking on this journey alone when you should've relied on the people around you. You have four stupidly loyal friends, an older sister who'd risk her career for you, and parents who love you to bits but you still think you are all alone. You're still not able to differentiate between burdening and shouldering each other's burdens because... You were not wired that way. You were wired for seclusion and independence and while that turned you into a very successful businessman, it also turned you into the most coddled loner in this world." You pulled away slightly which prompted San to do the same to look up at you. "As much as I hate to admit, you're on the right track of becoming better and I commend that. But knowing your record, you need to start filling people in on your plans because not even I can justify you coming here hot on your heels with a damn proposal," the both of you couldn't help but chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation. "Try harder, do better, okay?"

San shook his head in disbelief, not quite comprehending how he came in to show you how much he has changed, how much improvements he has made, only for you to swoop in and save him once again. He trully was like a puppy at your feet, he need to admit that to his therapist who had been telling him that all along.

"I don't know what I would do without you, (y/n)," you rolled your eyes and smirked at him, agreeing to the notion, "If you'd allow me, I'll do whatever you want to start making up for the past six years even if it takes me six decades. I know you wanted space and I have tried to give it to you, but let's face it, there are forces here that made sure that we kept going back to each other." As much as you'd like to contradict him, you have to agree that it was ridiculous how you both kept going back to each other. The first couple times could probably be blamed on both of your stupidity, but the times after that... Truly idiopathic. "I hate that you're making a point. Stop it," you joked which cracked a smile on San's face.

"Because of that... I actually have a plan on meeting someone, a relative my sister talked about who might give me a fresh idea of what's going on. Since you know my history and even have been part of some of the most crucial parts, do you think you can come accompany me? Help give your brutal honest opinion and rendition of what happened and what you think happened to me?"

You should've wanted to say no. You should've told him that you don't want to be part of his decision making until he can make his own damn sound decisions without involving you. But you yourself were curious about what exactly was going on and it wouldn't hurt getting some answer for your own sake. Helping yourself while helping others.

"I can't promise I'll hold your hand, but you can expect me detailing all your questionable lude choices and action."

And though you were being sarcastic, San could tell you were being honest and you were setting a boundary for yourself. And he was glad you did.

Taglist :

@90s-belladonna @kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @miaatiny @shinotani @jayb17 @dreamlesswonder86 @mayonnaisehoeshit @bbymatz @yunhorights @tinybinnie @blaaiissee @yunhobug @kwanisms @yoongiigolden @kpopnightingale @maddiebabyxoxo @dea-nimus @meowmeowminnie @x-bluee @itsbeeble @gxlden-bxbyy @charreddonuts @x-woozi @jwnghyuns @marvelous-imagines-for-all @baguette-atiny @jessi-outdated @dogsongy @kirooz @ateezourstars @memorymonster @yoonguurt @atinytinaa @naiify @cecedrake2217 @spooo00oky @flamingi @thesolarplanetarysystem @hijeongguk @hongjoong-lovebot @linhyyboo12 @leeknowsnothing @knucklesdeepmingi @doom-fics @yesv01

[songmingisthighs]

Hi! Can I be added to the ignominy taglist please? Ty!!

yeaa for sure !