#igniting tnt

[ofsootandsmoke]

It's silly and odd to me when people fully include Alex's scar (as in, they put the detail into it and don't make it a cute little line) but keep his eye. That's not even how that would realistically work??

Maybe I'm one of the only people who see this as an issue because I just love every part of him, and I don't like seeing it differently, and I know most people have no way of knowing because it's not canon

[svtskneecaps]

all this stream is telling me rn is badboyhalo cannot under any circumstances become president because if he becomes a federation puppet and gets turned against the players or the eggs the ENTIRE server is fucked

[cupcake-bee-boy]

I find it very funny how both Doc and Grian have already begun putting together their allies for the oncoming war.

Like, when Doc and Zedaph were cleaning up towards the end of his episode, Doc was like “Zed, Ren already swore that he’d help me in the fight, and really, Grian used you when he had you blow up a hole in my base. You’re innocent here. You’re the victim. So you should fight against him with me when war eventually breaks out.”

And then later, when Grian is talking to Mumbo, he starts talking like, “Wow Mumbo, Doc destroyed your door? And he didn’t even tell you he was going to? Sounds pretty bad. Sounds like you should be upset. Say, if I were to have a little meeting with Scar about how we’re upset with Doc, would you like to be there? You would? Great!”

[ajthepeach]

my favorite grian headcanon i have is that he literally just keeps tnt in his house. ignitable at any time. just. probably made a rug out of it once like its just sitting on the counter in the fruit bowl

[ofsootandsmoke]

YOU'RE SO CUTE I'M GOING TO EAT YOU

hav nest. put fance in nest !!! hapy.

[ratatoier]

SLIME OBJECTED (TOO EARLY LMAO) AND THEY FUCKING KILLED HIM

AND NOW HES STUCK ON HIS EXILE ISLAND BECAUSE HE HAS NO XP

[apollos-boyfriend]

wait. if c!hannah is aradia. is. is c!sam vriska.

[leafatlaw]

There’s something different about the winners of previous life series, something about Grian, Scott, Pearl, and Martyn that just seems off. How sometimes when they interact it’s like a solar eclipse, and you get the feeling they’re not safe to Watch for too long. It’s not even nesseacry how they look even, it’s more so how they feel.

How Grian always seems to hit harder than he means to, a playful push taking a few hearts. How he seems to always accidentally nick his allies with his sword. The odd way he always seems to be dusting sand off himself, how it pools around his shoes when he takes them off indoors. The way his hands always look stained red, even even when he’s just washed them. And it must be a trick of the light, because he’s not killed anyone yet this season. The way tnt seems to almost ignite around him, the way he seems like a piece of tnt himself, waiting to be lit. Waiting like a hunting animal to be commanded to kill. They nickname him the Sun, but his eyes look like black holes more than anything else.

Scott’s oddities are more subtler, more sanded smooth. He seems to almost glitter where Grian and Pearl shine. And maybe thats why it’s even stranger the way his eyes always seem to glow red, looking around like hes carring some curse that cant be shaken off. The way it’s impossible to tell where his hand ends and his bow begans, each arrow shot moving in ways different than it should. His hands impossible cold when you shake them, how each promise he makes feels like a threat. Like an eventuality, like the heat death of the universe.

Pearl is already dangerous everyone knows, but after winning she changes somehow. her laugh sounds like breaking glass, her smiles too sharp, when her and Scott talk it feels like standing next to an open flame, sound of gas whistling in the background. She’s cold to the touch just like her soulmate. When she’s on red the entire world seems to stand on end. The hairs on the back of your neck raise, it smells like there’s a storm on the way. And the way she interacts with her dogs… She talks to them like they’re people, and they seem to respond to understand her. Pearls dogs fight rougher, bite harder, they even seem to survive longer.

Martyn + Scar l8r

[incorrectdccomicquotes]

Robin, playing Minecraft with Beast Boy: By the way, how much TNT did you put down?

Beast Boy: Just a little bit.

Robin, igniting the TNT: What's a little bit?

Beast Boy: Ten thousand.

Robin: Yeah - wha - TEN THOUSAND - ?! My PC!

[roosterm3attrash]

101 ways to kill Barney Calhoun

I ended up making this list by going through multiple servers and people so here cuz I found it in my phone notes

Anyway the brilliant minds of the half-life fandom

1.) Waited pressure plate with tnt under it

2.) im going to leave mines under his mattress

3.) i’m setting a rake on his floor so he steps on it and whacks his face

4.) I'm giving him a bomb disguised as a cigar

5.) barney death 3: he ate what elvis presley ate….

6.) I would kill Barney Calhoun by slapping him so hard on the ass that it gives him cardiac arrest

7.) I drop him onto a pit of venomous snakes

8.) Im going to give Barney a beer but instead of beer it will be filled with deadly neurotoxin

9.) “now gordon, ive been keepin an eye out on this combine hideout for a while. they seem to walk in a certain pattern when crossing over to the entrance, which makes me think theyve buried mines all over the place. now, ive memorized the pattern, so im just gonna sneak on over, and you follow my lead, alright? dont worry, i know exactly where all the mines are.” and then he explodes

10.) that one episode of sponge bob where he eats the exploding pie and explodes

11.) set up tripwire then he falls into a tiger pit

12.) I type kill npc_barney into console

13.) slap the boobies off his chest so hard them fly around the world and hit the side of his head like water balloons

14.) i could marry him and slowly feed him mercury over a span for 3 years until he dies of mercury poisoning

15.) He tries to become a wwe wrestler but gets killed in a freak accident mid match

16.) I would kill him by making him a pizza but it’s covered in big chunks of lead but it’s hidden in the sauce and it’s a Chicago style pizza

17.) bring him to a highway and kiss him so hard he gets knocked onto the road and gets ran over

18.) Peeling him apart by the dna strand and eating it like spaghetti

19.) barney gets trampled by a stampede of horses

20.) giving him under the counter off brand viagra

21.) put him in a washing machine and turn it on

22.) shark attack

23.) pit of sharks

24.) barney gets criticized so badly he dies

25.) barney sits in an uncomfortable chair for too long

26.) He gets his arm caught in a bear trap w a beer used as a lure

27.) HE BECOMES THE CAT THAT TRAUMATIZED HIM. HE….YKNOW…..

28.) he gets stuck in a swimming pool like hes in the sims and dies from getting exhausted and drowning

29.) barney roasting marshmallows but his stick ignites into flames and he burns to death

30.) ATTACH SO MANY BALLOONS TO BARNEY HE FLOATS AWAY INTO THE SKY NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN

31.) barney gets rejected by gordon and he gets so sad his body shuts down

32.) I kiss him so tenderly on the lips that he melts into a puddle and dies

33.) i throw him in to a volcano so that he melt into a puddle and dies

34.) "I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives…I’ll smash it with a hammer!"

35.) stick a bottle of beer into his throat, the whole bottle

36.) give Barney Calhoun a beer can full of poison

37.) hang a piano over the toilet and wait

38.) i think barney should have his spine ripped out through his mouth

39.) he goes to a bar and tries flirting with the bartender and the bartender takes out a shotgun and kills him on the spot

40.) punch him so hard in the penis that he shatters like a brittle glass

41.) bite him in half

42.) I'm grinding him in a giant shredder

43.) bro took a bath in hot mac 'n cheese

44.) i put him ina giant caldron full of water and i begin boiling him down to gelatin and broth

45.) barney accompanies the crew to the borealis and he steps over thin ice and gets dunked into the below zero water and freezes to death

46.) barney calhoun gets carried away by a tornado

47.) took barney on a vacation to Hawai’i and pushed him into a volcano

48.) He dies and he's never mentioned again and nobody cares

49.) died of tummy ache

50.) Stepped on by a strider

51.) shrinked until he disappeared completely

52.) blasted into the sun

53.) Stab him with 300 pencils made with real lead

54.) slip and falls and dies

55.) put him into a Minecraft furnace

56.) Barney ignores the wet floor sign and slips and cracks his head

57.) while swimming in the swimming pool he swims to fast and smashes his face against the pool's wall

58.) he gets a concussion and drowns

59.) i want to put him through a lunchmeat slicer

60.) He falls off a dumb huge cliff

61.) he lives his life to the fullest and at his deathbed at age 93, June 29th, 6:12 am he passes away

62.) he eats a burgie with too much grease and gets a heart attack

63.) testicular cancer

64.) He should get sucked into a fan while trying to fix it at Black Mesa and literally no one comes looking for him

65.) The Pita Bread Room

66.) slipped on a Banana peel

67.) ran over by a crap ton of shopping carts rolling down the hill

68.) barney overheats in a fursuit

69.) he has sex so bad that he dies

70.) Barney dies because i fucking kill him with a shovel 🖕

71.) barney eats the gas station sushi

72.) barney faints via twirling around and holding his hand in front of his forehead, and then slowly lying down with a flower in his hands to indicate death

73.) When they turn off the suppression fields he just blows up

74.) barney gets crushed by a giant boulder thats all i got son

75.) barney goes to the beach that makes you old

76.) His head spontaneously combusts and pops like corn

77.) erectile dysfunction

78.) we should also have him get carbon monoxide poisoning

79.) barney gets gaussian blurred into nothingness

80.) he eats 20 year old expired mcdonalds burger and contracts the worst case of food poisoning youve ever seen

81.) Have we done tying him to a train track like a damsel

82.) he dies in a glue trap

83.) barney develops lactose intolerance over the years of combine occupation and he drink milk and then dies from shitting hinself to death

84.) he should chocke on his favourite food

85.) barney gets lead poisoning from a 1990s garfield glass mug

86.) he chokes on plastic

87.) barney gets thrown throw a glass window from a 15 story building

88.) gordon gives barney a wedgie so bad that he splits in half and dies

89.) gordon and barney divorce and barney dies from heartbreak

90.) alyx and gordon have enough of barney’s snoring so they smother him in his sleep with a pillow

91.) he trips while walking with gordon and impales himself on gordons crowbar face

92.) if he were the size of an ant he'd be ok instead he blows up like a watermelon and his remains are fed to lamarr by a very delighted kleiner. he fucking hated barney

93.) dog roughhouses with barney and accidentally obliterates his spinal cord

94.) barney gets poisoned to death by his own chumtoad

95.) coats him in eggs and flour and fries him

96.) snatched by a hawk and eten alive

97.) barney gets to participate in a danganronpa killing game and gets executed

98.) barney opens the love-letter-for-you.txt.vbs file and it kills him

99.) elaborate rube goldberg machine to drop an anvil on barney

100.) barney dies in an Iron Maiden

101.) we should put barney under those old timey stone tablets meant to squish and torture people and make them talk

[ofsootandsmoke]

IT'S ALMOST CUDDLE WITH FIANCÉ TIME GUYS THIS ISN'T A DRILL

[cattimeswithjellie]

A Brief History of the Tunnel Bore War

As is the case with many ongoing storylines in Hermitcraft, especially the wars, it can be hard to keep up with what all has happened and keeps happening, especially if you don't watch many hermits. Here's a brief synopsis of the escalations and shenanigans that have led to the current point of the Tunnel Bore War (also called Prank War 2.0 or the Barnyard Brawl)

Grian, Scar, Mumbo and Doc are all neighbors on the Hermitcraft Season 9 server. Grian has a floating-rock structure called The Rock, Mumbo builds The Vault, Scar builds a whole amusement park called Scarland, and Doc uses a world-eater to create a massive hole to bedrock called The Perimeter. Other Hermits are also nearby, but they are less involved in current events.

Grian and Scar make themselves pesky to Doc throughout the early part of the season, mostly small but irritating things like stealing copper from the walls of the Perimeter and using the bedrock floor to spawn mobs that leave holes behind.

Doc responds with impressively overengineered contraptions like a cannon that shoots charged creepers at Grian's base and an arrow that can blow through netherite armor and kill Scar in one hit. He also creates a walking machine that can move along the side of the Perimeter and lob TNT towards his neighbors, but does not deploy it. Doc mentions that he is purposefully avoiding putting creepers in Scarland because he is a huge fan of Scar's design work and doesn't think Scar could successfully handle charged creepers (which is demonstrably true).

While being heckled by Gem, Impulse and Scar to build the back of his base, Grian convinces Scar to play hooky and go visit the new massive tunnel borer that Doc has built in the Perimeter. After several successful uses, they both hit the ignition button at the same time and destroy the entire machine. After some initial panic, they try to apologize with a pile of diamond blocks (something Doc super-duper does not need) along with a box of Scarland merchandise, some fairly good TCG cards, and one of Grian's duped dragon eggs.

Doc retaliates for the loss of his tunnel bore in his usual manner, by breaking Minecraft in impressive ways using crazy redstone machines. He parks dozens of wither skull bullets above Scarland and turns Grian's nether portal sideways and only one block tall. He creates a massive sign in the Perimeter forbidding Grian and Scar from entering.

Grian leads Zedaph on a quest to prove that Zedaph is worthy to possess a duped dragon egg. The first trial of the quest is to explode a block of TNT in a little-used portion of Doc's base, revealing a clue hidden behind a wall. Zedaph follows instructions and does so, and neither he nor Grian clean up the mess afterwards.

Doc, after using a redstone and ender-pearl based teleportation device to camp the button and collect all three of Mumbo's friendship crowns, uses the purple crown to set a trap for Grian. He places a TNT cannon below Mumbo's base and rigs it to shoot when a zombie wearing the purple crown is killed. Grian kills the zombie and retrieves the crown, but the cannon blows a hole through the redstone door of The Vault and destroys it. Most of The Vault is undamaged, but Mumbo does briefly convince Grian that the prank blew up his entire base, causing Grian to burn the friendship crown in shame.

Grian and Scar don their disguises as Poultryman and Hotguy to descend into the Perimeter and build an enormous chicken-making machine. Through significant AFKing and leading chickens around with seeds, they fill a substantial portion of the Perimeter with 6k-10k chickens and many more eggs. As collateral damage, their activities break the chunk loader that holds Doc's dragon pet in position and allow it to move far away from its usual position. Doc recruits Zedaph to help clean up chickens to repay him for his part in the earlier base damage, and he recruits Ren because he is bored and likes to chase chickens.

During the cleanup process, Doc builds a nether portal link between his base and Grian's base, relocating a few thousand chickens into Grian's base.

Grian recruits Scar and Mumbo into an alliance to keep an eye on the "aggressions" of their neighbor. They call themselves The Buttercups, a plant that is poisonous to goats, and build an adorable encampment on the edge of the Perimeter to keep an eye on things. They are briefly derailed when Scar and Mumbo realize they can /kick Grian by dropping any gravity block in his vicinity, but the alliance holds together.

Doc builds an automated dragon-egg duper capable of dispensing 112k dragon eggs per hour and collects tens of thousands of dragon eggs. With Ren's extremely enthusiastic help, he places thousands of duped dragon eggs in and around The Buttercups' bases, especially in Scarland.

So that's where things stand as of now, July 7! I'm sure I've probably missed some things, feel free to shout them out for me! We can only wait and see how big and horrifying things get from here...

[materialsscienceandengineering]

Explosives Chemical Safety

Under OSHA, explosives are defined as "a chemical that causes a sudden, almost instantaneous release of pressure, gas, and heat when subjected to sudden shock, pressure, or high temperature". Because the initiating energy required can vary significantly, each explosive chemical has different safety regulations and handling instructions. Explosive chemicals can fall under two general categories: designed explosives (TNT, fireworks), and chemicals that can become explosive (picric acid, sodium amide; peroxide forming chemicals fall under this category). Generally speaking, these chemicals should be kept away from open flames and ignition sources, and for chemicals that can become explosive the date of first opening should be recorded on container labels.

Sources/Further Reading: (OSHA) (UC Berkeley) (Cornell University) (US DoD)

Image source.

[lectern-fullcauldron]

Sorting system, hopper clock, redstone placed on iron blocks

Tnt run, bed wars, Zombiecleo

Abba caving, UHC, Joe from Nashville, Tennessee

Vault hunters, Mindcrack, Teenage Mumbo

Nine seasons, moon big, Grian was a guinea pig

Record breaking, world-shaking, Mojang watch Cubfan

Etho and Iskall never paid, Doc lost an arm in rage,

Charity streams, minecon slots, eleven years of placing blocks

They didn't start the fire

But they've been burning

Since the game's been learning

They didn't start the fire

But they helped to light it

Really did ignite it

[midwestmade29]

Private Celebration 🚿

Thanks for sending in the request @brideofinfamy! I hope you enjoy the story 🖤

Word count: 1,577 Divider by: Me 🙂 GIF is not mine

Original request: “can you please write an Christian Cage X Fem Reader Story where Reader is his on controversial young on screen Girlfriend, but she always had an thing for him and vice versa, and when Christian successfully retained his TNT Championship at Revolution she admits with an devilish smirk backstage that she exactly knew how to "celebrate" the win and they end up having sex in the shower of his locker room. Afterwards Christian says he could get used to those kind of celebrations with her and ask if she wants to be his”

Disclaimers: Cursing, unprotected sex. Read at your own discretion 🤷🏻‍♀️

You and Christian have a private celebration together after his TNT title match…

It was no secret that you and Christian had major chemistry on screen, even despite your age difference. He is the Patriarch of AEW, and you are his adoring on screen girlfriend, making quite the pair whenever you wreaked havoc inside the ring and during promos. The fans were convinced that you and Christian were really a couple with the kisses, touches, and glances you often shared in front of the camera, but what they didn’t know is that you weren’t pretending anymore. The truth is you had developed real feelings for him along the way, but you never said anything or acted on them behind the curtain. There were moments when you could’ve sworn he was flirting with you, but surely this was all just business for him.

It was the night of the Revolution PPV, and you were dressed to the nines and your hair and makeup were looking flawless. When you stepped into Christian’s dressing room his jaw dropped and you swore you heard him curse under his breath. He cleared his throat and composed himself before speaking, “You umm, you look beautiful Y/N,” You smiled and offered your thanks, the way his eyes lingered on you made your cheeks flush a little. Christian chuckled to himself, prompting you to ask, “What’s so funny?”

“Everyone thinks it’s me who runs the show, but you’re the real showstopper. The Patriarchy is lucky to have you. Hell, I’m lucky to have such a beautiful young thing like you on my arm. Shall we?” he spoke sweetly as he extended his arm out to you.

Christian’s match against Daniel Garcia was just about to start, the entire Patriarchy stood with him in gorilla position waiting for his music to hit. He appeared to be a little nervous, so you grabbed his hand and gave it a little squeeze, earning a big grin from him in return. “You’re going to do great Christian. When it’s all said and done and you retain your championship, we’ll celebrate,” you encouraged. “Let’s do this,” he said while walking up the steps to the tunnel, still holding onto your hand. The second his song reverberated through the arena; the boos almost drowned it out. You strutted down the ramp, keeping in step with Christian while Killswitch and Nick followed behind.

Just like every match when you watched Christian, something inside you ignited and made your thoughts wander from the things going on in the ring to what you’d like to do to him behind closed doors. The way he flexed his muscles made you picture his strong arms lifting you up and carrying you over to a bed and letting him have his way with you. Your head snapped back into the match when you heard a loud thud on the mat followed by Christian yelling at the ref. The tables had turned when Garcia went on a run, knocking Christian all over the place and gaining the crowd’s support in the process.

You did your usual antics of distracting the ref and making a scene, which allowed Killswitch to get involved in the match without the ref noticing. Christian immediately went for the pin when Killswitch slid out of the ring, the ref taking notice and giving the 3 count. Nick was the first one in the ring to celebrate his father figure’s victory, followed by Killswitch and then you. You were caught up in the excitement of Christian retaining his title when you bumped Nick out of the way and wrapped your arms around him! He returned your embrace by pulling you in close before crashing his lips against yours! Sure, you’ve kissed on camera before, but this time it felt different. It was filled with more passion and was more intimate even with thousands of people around you. Your heartbeat was fast and steady when the kiss was broken when the ref held up Christian’s arm in victory.

The sound of boos and a few cheers sent you, Christian, Killswitch, and Nick on your way backstage. Everyone in the back congratulated Christian and Daniel on a job well done, giving each of them pats on the back and high fives, all the while you and Christian never taking your eyes off each other. There was a crackle in the air, and it wasn’t from the match! When he was finally able to step away from all the people, he made his way over to you and you greeted him with a devilish smirk on your face, “So, champ, why don’t we head back to your dressing room? I know exactly how to celebrate your win…”

Without hesitation, Christian let you guide him hand in hand back to his dressing room. It was obvious now more than ever that he desired you just as much as you did him when he closed the door in a hurry and pinned you up against it! Both of you were breathing fast and hard when he finally spoke up, “So, what was it you had in mind for the celebration, Y/N? I can think of a few ways, but I’d much rather hear your thoughts,” Christian’s lips were mere inches from yours when you murmured against them, “Well champ, I think a shower is in order,”

“A shower? That’s how you want to celebrate?” he interrupted, causing you to chuckle at his raised eyebrows. “Yes, only you won’t be showering alone,” you hinted.

Christian took your response and ran with it, lifting you up by your thighs and carrying you in the direction of the shower. Your lips never parted on the trek over to it, your fingers intertwined with his hair and your legs wrapped around his waist while your center pressed against his hard length. He lowered you to your feet and you turned the water on, wasting no time getting both of you underneath it as he backed you up against the shower wall. Your clothes were a sopping wet mess as you and Christian tugged and pulled at them to remove them from your body. It took less effort to take off his ring gear, his hard length finally free from all restrictions when each piece was thrown into a pile on the floor. He took each of your breasts in his hands, massaging them and toying with your nipples. “You’re perfect, Y/N. So. Fucking. Perfect,” he complimented before taking a stiff peak in his mouth.

You squirmed against the tile wall as his tongue lapped and flicked against it while sucking in between. Your soft moans echoed off the walls, steam flowing from the shower in thick pillows through the air. Christian’s fingers found themselves in between your legs, teasing your clit before he slid 2 fingers inside of you with ease, “Ah! Christian!” you cried out. “Just like that!” He groaned in approval against your neck, getting lost in the feeling of you coming undone from his fingers alone. He could tell your orgasm was close when your walls started gripping his fingers tightly and your breathing accelerated. “Cum for me baby girl, let yourself go,” Your legs shook, and you nearly lost your balance as your orgasm ripped through you!

Before you had a chance to fully recover, Christian lifted you up and aligned himself at your entrance before pushing himself inside you. Your back slid up and down the tiles as he thrusted, your breasts bounced against his toned chest while the hot water cascaded over the both of you. He filled you completely and stretched your tight cunt in all the best ways, bringing you closer and closer to your second orgasm. “My sweet little thing, taking me so well! Tell the whole arena who makes you feel this good. Let them know who your champion is,” Christian said through gritted teeth. “Y-you do Christian! Ah, shit! Christian!”

You and Christian came almost simultaneously, your bodies quaking against one another, and your moans and curses intertwined while you both rode out the high. The water was now running cold, which caused you to shiver, catching the eye of the champ. “Come on baby, let’s get you dried off,” Christian said as he turned the faucet off. He sweetly wrapped a towel around your shoulders and rubbed his hands up and down your arms to help warm you. He pulled you into his arms, embracing you tightly and you reveled in the heat his body was offering you. “I know I’ve never told you this before, but you’re everything to me Y/N. I miss you when we’re not together and I’m the best version of me when we are. I don’t want to just be a couple on tv anymore. Would you be mine, even when the cameras are off? Let’s give us a real try baby,” You pulled your head back and peered up at him, noticing immediately that he was serious. This was the moment you had hoped for all along, and you couldn’t believe it was really happening! “Yes Christian! I’d love to be yours!”

He let your words sink in for a few seconds before kissing you and smiling against your lips at the fact you were now officially his girlfriend. When he started chuckling, you asked him what was so funny, his response making you laugh too.  “I hope I keep retaining this title,” Christian smiled.

“And why is that?”

“Because I could get used to these kinds of celebrations…”

[kakujis]

ghost in the machine;

ft: bonten!mikey. pt 2 of this post.

warnings: afab!reader, pet names (baby, good girl), praise, reader is terrified of mikey LOL but warms up pretty fast, minor angst, pining, not implied kaku x reader, hes just mentioned cus i love him. 

wc: 2.2k

a/n:i couldn’t get this song out of my head after i heard it and i thought it fit bonten!mikey so well. he’s so sad. TnT. i really wanted to write pt 2 of mikey’s part also, so this is purrfect!! may be a bit ooc, but idc. soft bonten!mikey ftw!!! this almost stayed sfw but i am nothing but a wh*re. a one track mind. anyways. soft… this is so soft. please love hims. ):

mikey has seen it all before, how could he not, when he holds the world in his hands? when one single command could ruin someone’s life, could set destruction wherever he wanted. each day comes and goes, routine settling deep in his bones. there’s no spark behind his eyes, hollow and empty. but he’s pretty like a seashell, fragility hiding behind the dark shadow of himself. 

mikey didn’t think much when you were hired, wasn’t sure why he hired you anyway. but takeomi had insisted, have a pretty girl to take some of the burden off. but you ended up becoming less of his secretary and more of bonten’s secretary. and he found himself getting attached watching you flit around the headquarters like some maid. “ran, do you need help with that?” or “i’ll take the paperwork, don’t worry, kokonoi!” or “could someone please bring a warm tea up to mochi’s office?” 

you maneuvered your way into all of them, gentle touches and even gentler wordings ringing in their ears like a song. you were available, physically and maybe sometimes emotionally, but you stayed at arm’s length and mikey knew why. simply put, you were afraid. afraid of getting too close, afraid that you were disposable like the random grunts who pissed haru off. but you were especially afraid of mikey, all of them would kill or order someone to be killed without a single hesitation, but who did they bow down to? their king, who they all followed dutifully. high above the king reigned supreme, and who were you but a simple pawn? 

so you decided to drown in the work mikey gave you, heart hammering whenever he came too close. you needed this job, you needed to sustain yourself, you didn’t want to run back home, no you couldn’t run back home. even if you wanted to, you couldn’t put anyone you cared about in danger, not your parents nor your friends, knowing you stayed just a few feet away from the most dangerous men in Japan.

you had finished your work for today, finally done going through hours of mind-numbing paperwork. mikey had asked you to stay in late tonight and you had done just that, scrolling mindlessly on your phone waiting for your boss to come back. a means to distract yourself, since you loathed when it was just the two of you. that’s why you ran around the building like mad for other members that didn’t ignite your fight or flight. you hated the way your hands trembled when the door opened, automatically opening your texts with kakucho, not like he would come to your aid if you asked, never one to disobey his boss.

with the click of a lock, your stomach was flipping in waves, little alarm bells ringing through your brain and the grip on your phone became a little bit tighter. you could see him in your peripheral, the same expression as always, soulless, desolate, empty. sighing, he walked over to your desk, white locks falling by his eyes. there’s something on his mind as he reaches your desk, picking up some of your things, little trinkets you had gotten one day when ran mentioned how empty your desk was. he turns them in his hand, one by one, looking them over before setting them down. 

“s-so,” you start, cutting through the silence, voice already shaky. “what’d you need from me, boss?” your hands start to move, one smoothing over your thigh, the other clicking the lock screen button on your phone repeatedly. 

he doesn’t respond, instead sauntering to the couch and plopping down. he motions you over, two fingers up curled on his right hand, and you obey, slowly and shakily moving over. you sit opposite of him, trying to keep a good distance. if he’s upset by it, you can’t tell, dark eyes staring at you. 

“i’m lonely.” he states, eyes trailing over you. your heart pounds at what he could be inferring, there’s no way, right? he’s never made a move on you before, it’s always been strictly business, besides he’s had you make dozens of calls to satisfy his urges before. 

“oh! do you want me to make a call? i think, um, i think one of your girls should be free tonight, no?” you open your phone, contact: kakucho still visible on the top of your screen. are you alright? it reads, not realizing you had sent a text earlier, i’m scared. 

he’s fast, snatching the device from your hands and throwing it to the floor, theres a few clacks as it bounces away. “i don’t want em.” you’re trembling, chest heaving, as he’s the closest he’s ever been, leaning into you as you try to back away. your body reacts on its own, shrinking down into the plush cushions. you brace yourself, waiting for him to start grasping at your clothes, but he doesn’t. 

instead, one hand wraps around your wrist and gently tugs, “could.. you pretend you’re not scared of me? just for tonight?” his voice is so soft, whispery, and the hand around your wrist shakes lightly, like he’s the one who’s cornered.

you blink at him, there’s something in his eyes. something desperate and lonely, something that begs you to say yes. it melts away at your shaky core. just for tonight. you nod before adding, “i’ll try.” 

he moves closer still and you steady yourself, deep breaths to make sure you don’t flinch. “just pretend i’m kakucho or somethin’,” he mumbles, sinking his face into the crook of your neck. you blush, it’s not like you were into kakucho, he just made you feel comfortable. 

you’re still unsure what tonight will actually lead to, but you find yourself relaxing slightly in his arms. maybe it’s because you don’t have to do anything but stay there, in the embrace of a broken king.

“can i kiss you?” he asks, lips grazing your neck. 

“where?” you gulp, a hint of that cruddy feeling in your stomach, clammy hands fiddling with the fabric of his shirt. 

“here,” he breathes, pausing at your pulse-point. 

you mull it over, but just for a moment, before you mumble out a shaky, “okay.” 

he presses down and the kiss is soft, slow, and sweet. each time you anticipate that there will be something more, something harsh or heavy, there never is. every time he moves he asks again, “is it okay here?” and you say yes, over and over, as many times as he wants. 

eventually, your hands stop trembling with fear, but want. each time his lips hover over a new spot you find yourself breathing out a yes before he even asks. one of your absent minded hands card through the tresses of his hair, as he moves a hand to the top button of your dress shirt. 

“can i?” he asks, glancing up at you, a red tint on his cheeks. when you nod he seems to relax a bit as he slowly unbuttons your top revealing your bra underneath.

his hands ghost your exposed skin and you blush under his burning gaze. “you’re so beautiful.” his hands continue trailing, stopping at your waistband. “can-“ 

“yes,” you breathe, “you can.” it comes with an air of finality, the essence of letting go of your fear in return for what you desire. behind those cold, coal eyes, you think you see a spark, a dimly lit fire in the darkness of his soul. 

he’s a little bit faster, only slightly, wanting to relish in the way you’re under him as he slips the rest of your clothing off, slick cunt on display. you react to every touch, a whimper escaping your lips when he flits his fingers over your clit. 

he leans down, pressing his lips to yours. it’s tender, deep, and needy. he keeps kissing you as he slips one finger in, the gasp from your mouth allowing him to slip his tongue in. he inserts another, loving the way you arch up into him, messy tongues sliding over each other. he groans into you, feeling the way your needy cunt is already twitching on him, scissoring you open for later. 

“mikey..” you sigh in between kisses, drool running down the side of your mouth, “please,” grinding your hips into his hand. he pulls his hand out to undress himself and you whine, trying to find something to grind onto. he thinks you’re a greedy little thing, but it’s better than when you shy away from him, much better in fact. 

when he’s done, he hooks your legs up around his waist, giving his leaky cock a few pumps. he scans your face one more time as he lines up with your entrance, waiting to see if you’d tell him to stop. he would if you wanted him to, but you give no indication, instead watching his cock with pretty, wanting eyes. 

like before, he’s slow as he pushes in, the tightness of your pussy around his cock has his mind spinning. for you, it’s a little uncomfortable, the stretch being something you never get used to no matter who it is, but the gentleness and earlier prep has you melting into him. as he bottoms out, hips flush with yours, he presses his forehead to yours before leaning in for another kiss. 

he stills for a bit, eyes shut, savoring the feel of your wet, tight cunt. how long has he wanted you? if he thinks about it, probably since the day he met you. 

“mikey?” you ask, and he snaps his eyes open. you’re so pretty, he thinks, as even prettier words leave your mouth. “p-please fuck me already.” 

you mewl into him as he starts to move, steady rolls of his hips into yours sending jolts of pleasure throughout your body. he pants as he glances down, watching your greedy hole suck him in. 

“you feel so good,” he groans, “like you were fucking made for me.” using a particular harsh slam to punctuate his sentence.

your toes curl as the wet slap of skin reverberates throughout the room, before you’re putting your arms around him to tug him close, nails digging into his back. 

“you close, baby? gonna cum for me?” he murmurs into your ear, feeling you clench down on him. “you like that? you wanna be mine? want me to fill you up everyday, so everyone knows whose pussy this belongs to?”  he’s rambling now, eyes squeezed shut as your tight cunt continues to twitch on his cock. 

“yeah,” you babble back, his cock hitting your sweet spot over and over, “‘m wanna be yours, want you to fuck me everyday,” he’s so deep and fills you up so well, you can’t help but want this. “f-fuck, mikey, i’m cumming!” you gasp, clamping down and creaming all over him, body shaking as you whimper into his neck to ride out your high. 

“good girl,” he groans, “such a good job, baby.” it’s sort of dream-like for him, the way you moan and whine as he fucks you makes him want to keep going. but the continuous twitch of your walls has his hips stuttering out as he fills you up, hot white ropes of seed washing over your walls. he collapses on you, head buried in your neck, wrapping his arms snugly around you. 

its quiet as the two of you bask in the afterglow, save for the ring of your phone. you peek over and squeak, trying to move mikey off of you, “ah, it’s kakucho, he’s-“ 

mikey places a finger on your lips, brows knit with a pout on his face as he presses hard down on you to keep you in place. it’s foreign to see your boss look so childlike, but it’s pretty cute, your heart fluttering at the sight. “you didn’t pretend earlier, so you’re not allowed to mention him now.” he grumbles, and you tilt your head to the side wondering what he’s talking about. 

“just pretend i’m kakucho or somethin’”. 

“o-oh,” you stammer when the realization hits. “right.” you stare at the ceiling, wondering how you ended up in such a predicament, not too long ago you couldn’t even be within the same room as him without panicking. now, you’re in his arms, skin to skin with his seed inside you, your cheek resting on his head. you don’t notice the absentminded stroke of your hand on the small of his back. 

but mikey does and is once again struck by how someone as gentle as you wormed their way into the worst crime syndicate. he’s not sure if it’s love, but it’s probably something close. he’s like putty in your arms, unwilling and unable to pull out, even as you shift your legs to find a comfier position. 

“let me stay here,” he mumbles, drowsiness taking over his limbs. “just for tonight, you can hate me again tomorrow.” but you know it’s not just for tonight anymore. there will be tomorrow night or maybe it’ll be next week, but you know you’ll find yourself in his arms again.

“i never…” you mumble, frowning, you want to say you’ve never hated him. you were just afraid, but the words don’t come out stuck on your tongue. 

“don’t worry about it.” he yawns and you nod, it’s so different right now. you’re afraid to say anymore and ruin the atmosphere. 

mikey has seen it all, but he thinks that the view of you is the best he's seen. it’s quiet again and he stays on you, in you, as the gentle rise of your chest lulls him to sleep.