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janetbrown711 · 4 years ago

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“If we get caught I’m blaming you” dot Wakko

Dot liked Doctor Scratchnsniff.

He was very nice, and even when not in a session, he was always willing to lend a helping hand and talk to her. Plus, he helped her with her "PTSD" he called it, though she knew it more as her nightmares and chest pains. They weren't exactly gone yet, but they were far less often as they used to be (she used to not be able to not sleep without her parents but now she was doing pretty good).

She knew her brothers didn't feel the same, but she had a feeling they'd warm up eventually. After all, it was undeniable the stuff he did with her helped her feel better with time. Sure- she wasn't exactly cured, but he said it would take time and she believed him.

However, that didn't mean she told him everything- especially if she wasn't sure if it even was a problem.

The problem was Max.

Dot hadn't ever seen him since the party, but for a while, it was all Yakko talked about. Her parents and Scratchnsniff said it'd slow with time, but it was easy to say it didn't. Yakko was... almost unrecognizable with how much he focused on Max. He never talked to her or Wakko about anything other than him. There was something about him that was just... better than them. Yakko described him as a "good different". Did that mean they were a "bad different"? Yakko used to swear and promise he'd die for them and protect them against their grandmother at all costs- but if Max had always been in the picture would that be the same? Was Max really that much better than them? Heck, Yakko basically admitted he didn't think they were friends...

That was why she was willing to team up with Wakko. She didn't like feeling like that, and if she could get rid of Max things could go back to how they were before. Except without their grandmother too.

Once Yakko returned from his day trip in Disneyland it was soon thereafter announced that Max and his father would be visiting Warnerstock within 2 weeks, so Wakko and Dot quickly began to plan ways to sabotage the two as much as they could.

With Wakko intercepting most of Yakko's and Max's letters to each other, they were able to figure out a game plan. They knew Yakko and Max would mostly be hanging out in the study, but that they'd then be eating lunch (something that they used to do as a family, but Yakko clearly didn't mind dropping that for him).

In preparation, they stole backup keys to the cupboard where all the spices were kept, and to the cleaning supply storage room, and they also stole many buckets of waters from the maids who were too busy to notice two children dragging their buckets away (they only told half empty ones because if they were full they were too heavy).

What they planned to do was set a few buckets of water over doorways so when they stepped through, they'd get soaked. Wakko wanted to make it hot and soapy water, but that was a little too hard to figure out and they already knew it'd be a challenge to get them up there. They also planned to put spicy powders on the handles of the doors to the study so that if they ever touched their face they'd get a painful reaction (something Wakko had experienced numerous times). They also planned to improvise throughout the day, but they'd need to see how things go with Yakko and Max at that point. Who knows? Maybe Max would realize they don't want him and that he should just leave and never come back.

Finally, the day arrived.

Wakko and Dot figured it was best to play along until the boys broke off, and then they'd set the buckets up. However, they still put the powder on the door knobs, figuring that one could take awhile before either realize.

Good thing the two of them had years of pretending to be good little children for their grandmother, otherwise it would've been harder to be "on their best behavior" for their guest.

"Goofy, Max, it's such a pleasure to welcome you two into our home," Lena said as she greeted the guests.

"It's a pleasure to be here. And might I say, you have a lovely home," The king gave an over the top bow and had a big smile on his face. Wakko and Dot exchanged a look.

"Yeah, it's nice," Max said, clearly embarrassed by his dad's antics. Lena laughed.

"Thank you," She nodded at him. "Goofy, these are my children and husband, William. Yakko you know, then there's Wakko and Dot," Lena gestured to each of them. They all bowed when their name was spoken.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet ya too," He bowed again. Max and Yakko shared a look too.

"Uh... Mom? Can Max and I..?" Yakko silently asked her. Lena nodded.

"You two are free to go while we sort out some more business. You two can go as well if you want," Lena said to Dot and Wakko. Gladly, the children all left the throne room, with Yakko and Max heading off to the study, but Wakko and Dot dashing into another hallway so they'd believed they were safe and by themselves before they could begin stalking and prepping the buckets.

"I hate him... and his dad. They're dumb," Wakko scoffed, once they knew they were out of ear shot.

Well... that was a little rude.

"I dunno, he seemed nice," Dot shrugged, peeking around the corner to find Max and Yakko laughing.

"Please, Prince Snooty couldn't even say hi to us," Wakko rolled his eyes before looking at what Dot was looking at and scowling.

"Remember: He's just here to take Yakko away from us, just like grandmum," He reminded her.

"Right. We have to stop them no matter what," Dot agreed. The pair continued to spy on the two until Yakko and Max disappeared down the hallway.

"C'mon, we have buckets to set up," Wakko said, and they headed off to set up their pranks.

After grabbing the buckets needed, it occurred to Wakko and Dot that they were rather short to attempt to place them atop the door, even if she stood on his shoulders. So they went to the nearest room with chairs and dragged one over, and Wakko stood on that, and Dot atop his shoulders.

As Wakko passed her the bucket though, she nearly dropped it.

"If we get caught, I'm blaming you," Wakko panicked, checking their surroundings. Dot blushed, deeply embarrassed, before trying again.

Luckily, she managed not to drop or spill any water, and soon enough they successfully got it atop the doorway Yakko and Max would have to go through.

Now all they had to do was wait.

Dot sat on the stairs next to the study, but Wakko continued on, much to Dot's confusion.

"Where are you going?" Dot asked.

"I'm going to find mom. I don't wanna stay here to wait," Wakko said.

"And sit through a boring meeting?" Dot tilted her head.

"Mom thinks I'm useful in meetings," Wakko crossed his arms.

Struck a nerve there...

"You can stay- whatever. I'm sure we'll hear their screams soon enough," Wakko said, and he walked away, leaving her alone.

Was hanging out with Dot really worse than a boring meeting? Was Dot really becoming uninteresting?

Was this what her grandmother meant when she said unladylike behavior was "unbecoming"? Was she right about her all along..?

"Dot? Is that you?" A familiar accented voice spoke. She looked behind her to find none other than Doctor Scratchnsniff. She hushed him, but scooted to the side to allow him to sit next to her.

"What's going on?" He said in a hushed tone, taking her invitation and sitting next to her.

"Yakko's hanging out with a prince and me and Wakko set up a prank," Dot said, confident she could trust the good doctor.

"A prank? What kind?" He asked.

"We put buckets of water on the doors so when they try to leave they get soaked, and we put chili powder on the door handles so if they touch their face it'll burn and they'll hurt really bad," Dot grinned.

"That's a little mean, no?" He said. Dot glanced at him.

"N-no. He deserves it. He's trying to take Yakko away," She said.

"What makes you say that?" He asked softly. Dot's tail twitched nervously as she thought.

"W-well... Yakko used to always promise that everything would be okay if we stayed together... and he promised that when we came home we'd be a big happy family but now all he wants to do is hang out with Max and talk about Max and be with Max," Dot folded her arms and rested on her knees.

"And that makes you feel..?" He inquired.

"Like-... Like I don't matter to him anymore... like he's sick of me..." Dot confessed with a sigh.

"I'm not annoying, am I?" She turned to the doctor.

"Of course not. You're very witty and fun to be around," He comforted her. "Does that thought, by chance, have anything to do with your grandmother?"

He always knew when something was related to the old queen, even without mentioning her name once.

"Yeah," Dot admitted.

"Remember, you're a lot more than what your grandmother thought. Remember those positive affirmations we went through," He said.

"The ''I'm home, I'm safe?" Dot tilted her head.

"No, those are the grounding ones. These are your self-affirmations: You are kind, you are brave, and you are loved. Remember?" He said.

"Oooh, right!" Dot recalled, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. "I am kind. I am brave. I am loved."

"Very good Dot," Scratchnsniff smiled. Dot smiled too.

"Now... I know you may not want to yet, but I think it best you give this Max a shot before pushing him away. While Yakko shouldn't be pushing you away, it's clear this boy means a lot to him and it would probably mean a lot to him if you liked him too, ya?" Scratchnsniff said, standing up.

Dot thought for a minute.

"Okay... I'll... give him a shot," She sighed.

"Good," He patted her head softly, but she quickly stood and gave him a hug.

"You're really nice," she said. He laughed a little.

"Thank you, Dot. You're really nice too," He said back, before she broke the hug and he continued on his way.

Dot continued waiting on the stairs for quite a while, before (out of boredom) she decided it might be interesting/fun to listen in on whatever it was Yakko and Max were talking about. Quickly and quietly she crept to the doors, carefully not to touch it so as not to knock over the bucket of water, and began to eavesdrop.

"Yeah, I'd imagine having siblings is different from 'not even blood related 'cousins.' Must be nice," Max said.

Yakko laughed. "Yeah, though Wakko and Dot can be just as chaotic. Still, they have their moments and I'd still do anything for them."

"They must not like strangers though, huh?" Max sighed, and Dot felt a pang of guilt.

"No, not really... They're so used to only being able to rely on our family, it's hard for them to branch out-- especially Wakko. Grandma really messed us up."

"She must've really, really sucked, huh?" Max half -oked.

"Yeah..." Yakko half-chuckled.

A pause.

"I wish we had known sooner- I'm sure my dad or Uncle Mickey or Donald would've done something. They hate people like that- can't stand child abuse," Max swore.

"I don't know how much could've been done, but... thanks. I really appreciate it- but know you being here... it's enough. Really," Yakko reassured.

Another pause.

"Wait, don't touch my face- there was powder on the door handles when we went in," Max said.

Dang it, they were caught.

"What? Seriously?!" Yakko groaned. "I'm sorry- they're usually much better than this. How did you know?"

"I'm used to prank wars from Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Trust me- this is tame compared to the stuff they'd pull," Max chuckled. "Oh, and there's a bucket of water on the door. We're stuck until someone notices and removes it or else we'll be soaked."

Double dang it, they were caught again.

Yakko chuckled.

"Your sibs don't sound half bad- other than the clear hostility, but I guess with how much of a nightmare your guy's lives have been so far I can see why," Max said. "Just wish I could fix it somehow."

Dot once again felt guilty.

"Me too... you're... well... you know... important to me," Yakko said.

Dot decided she couldn't listen to it anymore. Instead, she went and got the chair out again and began trying to remove the bucket as best she could. However, being several inches shorter now that she wasn't on Wakko's shoulders, she failed, and the bucket fell, soaking her in cold water that caused her to yelp and fall off the chair onto the floor.

Knowing she couldn't stay lest she be caught, she bolted away as fast as she could, ignoring the throb in her head from where the bucket hit her.

however, she was caught by her father, who had heard the loud crash, and went to investigate.

"Dot? What's the matter- why are you soaking wet?" William asked. Dot pondering lying, but realized Max and Yakko already knew what was happening so she may as well.

"Welllllllll, I didn't like Max so I wanted to prank him with water and chili powder, but that failed and now I'm soaking wet," Dot confessed.

"Dot, I thought we told you to be on your best behavior while we had guests over," William sighed. "C'mon, let's get you cleaned up."

"I know, dad. I'm sorry," Dot apologized, glad he believed she did it alone. She didn't want Wakko to get into trouble.

"It's fine- so long as you learned your lesson," William said. "Pranks like that aren't very nice- especially to Max because he doesn't have a change of clothes. Imagine how it'd feel if you had to stay like that all day," William said.

That was a good point... these pranks were mean, just like Scratchnsniff said.

Eventually, they made it to her room and she changed into a clean and dry dress, and William helped dry off her fur and brushed it back to perfection, tying her ears back with her favorite yellow flower ponytail.

"Much better," He smiled at her through the mirror. Dot smiled back.

"However... I think it's probably best you stay with us for the rest of the meeting as a fair punishment," William said. Dot wanted to fight it, but alas, she knew he was right. She nodded, accepting her fate.

As she walked back with her father to the boring meeting she was now going to join apparently, she couldn't help but feel guilty. Max really didn't deserve any of the dirty looks or hostility she and Wakko had been giving him- he seemed really nice. Plus, he was important to Yakko. While it sucked that he wasn't hanging out with her as much, it didn't mean she was unlovable or annoying. It was wrong to take all that out on Max.

Now all she had to do was convince Wakko of the same.

.o0o.

The boring meeting thankfully didn't last much longer, and Dot was able to meet up with Wakko once again, who naturally had a lot of questions. However, they both decided it was best to go into the playroom, away from the other adults, to continue their conversation.

"What happened? I heard a crash but I don't see Yakko and Max- were you wearing that earlier?" Wakko tilted his head.

"It didn't work- Max apparently lives with really good prankers and what we did is considered 'tame'," Dot shrugged.

"Seriously? Ughhhh," Wakko groaned. "I guess that means we'll have to seriously step up our game..." he stroked his chin.

"Wait- maybe... maybe we shouldn't," Dot said. Wakko raised an eyebrow.

"But Max is taking Yakko away from us. We have to stop him," Wakko crossed his arms.

"I don't think he is... he seems really nice," Dot bit her lip.

"What? Are you insane?" Wakko accused.

"I'm not insane. Those pranks were mean and could've ended badly. Max seems nice- he says he wants us to trust him but doesn't know how," Dot defended herself.

"Then he should leave us alone and never come back! I don't want him here! He doesn't belong here," He growled.

"Wakko, stop. Yakko really seems to care about him, don't you think we should give him a chance?" She argued.

"Yakko is our brother. He said he'd never abandon us, but now he is and it's because of him. I have to stop him to make Yakko come back to his senses," He put his foot down.

"Just because he has a friend doesn't mean he doesn't care about us. Doctor Scratchnsniff said-"

"Of course you talked to him," he shook his head. Dot looked down in shame. She knew he didn't really like him, though she really didn't understand why.

"He just said-"

"I don't care what he said! I don't like Max! I will never like Max! He's taking Yakko away and if I'm the only one who sees it, I don't care. Leave me alone," He spat.

"Wakko-"

"I said leave me alone!" He growled at her. Dot stepped back, before realizing it was probably best she listen and leave him alone. She quickly left the room.

Once out, she sighed. Hopefully, she could change his mind before he did anything drastic... for now, she'd just have to wait.

Hopefully, it wouldn't be too long, for Max's sake.

Goodness knows where Wakko would go to next if painful chili powder was level one.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 The End

#my fics #angelina 1 lives au #yax #dot warner #wakko warner #doctor scratchnsniff #william warner #sir william the good #yakko warner #max goof #goofy goof #yax epilogue #what did the powder interrupt *side eye emoji*#lol #sorry this took forever to write lmao #i was tired and brain dead

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vicarfelix · 4 years ago

Text

Authority Figure

Vicar Max x Fem. Captain

Warnings: Language. Emetophobia. Mentions of cannibalism.

A/N: Of course, some of this dialogue is straight from the game :) Let’s see how this goes...

Word Count: 2,886

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

It took a lot to shake you up. You were tough, fierce, and independent all at once which enabled you to have thick skin against anything thrown your way. You had fought off marauders, murderous outlaws, blood hungry raptidons, you name it. You had seen your fair share of horrifying. This had been very, very different than anything you had ever encountered.

It seemed like an easy mission. You were searching for a man by the name of Braxton and a tip had led you to this home. From the moment you stepped foot into the Mather’s household, you knew something wasn’t right. There was an uneasy feeling...and scent in the air that made your stomach queasy. For starters, it was odd that the front door had locked behind you as you entered with Max and Nyoka. It was unusual for someone to lock their door after a trio of strangers entered their home.

Secondly, the Mather family was way too inviting and friendly towards a group of people they didn’t know. This was in the middle of Monarch, outside of Stellar Bay. You could’ve been disguised marauders for all they knew. So they ask you and your companions to stay for dinner? It just wasn’t normal in any way. This family was hiding something.

Max wasn’t bothered by this at first. He found it rather uplifting that this seemingly normal family was offering three extra seats at their table. Nyoka, on the other hand, was definitely on edge.

Mr. Mather gleefully let you roam about his family’s home while his wife prepared dinner. You took him up on his offer, thinking you could find something pertaining to Braxton’s whereabouts. You found what you were looking for...just under terrifying circumstances. You stumbled back a foot or so upon being met with the most putrid smell that ever did fill your nostrils after getting into one of the upper rooms. You were met with a gruesome sight. A steadily decaying corpse that was missing limbs and a head.

“These sulfur-sodden assholes. Ain’t enough that the rapts eat everyone...now people are doing it too?” Nyoka cursed, holding the back of her hand to her nose.

While there wasn’t any outside proof of identification, you did muster enough courage to check in the pockets of the body. You found an ID card belonging none other than to the man you had been searching for.

“I thought I’d seen the worst of humanity before. ” Max stated after observing for a moment or two.

In the shock of finding Braxton dead, the more important issue didn’t immediately register with you. You were in a house full of murderers. That’s when you remembered what you had been told when you first entered Stellar Bay.

Not only were you in a house with murderers, you were in a house of cannibals.

For the first time since being revived, a surge of real panic flooded through your blood. Fear and alarm was very clear on your face as you gripped Max’s shoulder for stability at what was happening;

“Captain, are you alright?” He asked furrowing his brows.

You looked between Nyoka and Max, your voice having more urgency than it had ever before;

“We need to get out of here now.”

Within milliseconds, the three of you bolted down the stairs like a hungry pack of mantipillars. Even Nyoka’s usually strong stomach did a flip at the thought of possibly becoming dinner. Your plan was to book it down the stairs and bust through the door, to run all the way back to the ship and forget whatever the hell you had to do in Monarch. You realized it wouldn’t be so simple when you were confronted on the lower level...as well as the front door being locked from the outside. Edgar rose from his chair, brows raised;

“But what’s this? You’re tracking blood into the kitchen,” He stated. You swear his eyes went completely dark when he knew you had found the body; “Oh, dear. You’ve been nosy, haven’t you?”

His words echoed in your ears. Your flight response fizzled away as you noted you’d have to kill this family. It was the only way you’d make it out alive. Truth be told, you were shaking in your boots. This was the most scared you had been in a long time. However, you stood your ground and snarled at the man;

“The murdering cannibal accuses me of being nosy?”

Your heartbeat was loud in your head, his wife saying something about the meat spoiling and that you were agitated. Before you knew it, you were firing away at this family, shooting bullets mercilessly into their frames. You were not going to die this way. In an adrenaline flooded blur of events, the Mather family was dead and scattered across the floor. After a few moments, your heart rate returned to normal and your nausea returned.

“Damn cannibals. I knew something wasn’t right...nobody outside the walls are that fucking nice.” Nyoka said taking Mr. Mather’s key off of him and unlocking the front door before returning back to the kitchen.

“It’s clear that Mr. and Mrs. Mather had brainwashed their children. That explains their peculiar behavior when we arrived.” Max added.

You approached the stove where Mrs. Mather had been cooking, the pot atop was still steaming. You peered into it and felt your stomach take an overwhelming lurch into your throat. The uneasy smell that you originally had noticed had indeed been coming from what she was cooking. You could only assume that Braxton’s remains were floating around in there...amongst other things. You were trembling something awful, a disgusted mix of a gag and a groan erupting from your diaphragm. This could’ve been much worse if you hadn’t listened to your intuition. What kind of family was this? Even on Earth cannibalism wasn’t that common. The thought of what they had done sickened you. You’d have nightmares for the next week.

Nyoka watched as your expression morphed into something she had never seen in her entire life;

“Cap?” She asked in a concerned tone.

You shook your head in disbelief, your eyes wide and voice quaky.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” You declared, pushing past her and Max.

You retched and hurled the contents of your stomach once you made it outside. You couldn’t get the images out of your head. The sight of Braxton’s mutilated body. The smell of his flesh being prepared on the stove. And to think that would’ve been you if you had waited a few moments longer. You felt the presence of someone kneeling next to you. In your peripheral vision, you saw Max at your aid. Nyoka stood a ways back, keeping an eye out for any raptidons in the area.

Max’s soothing voice was comforting as you continued to upchuck whatever was left of your breakfast from earlier in the day;

“I know. Let it all out.” He persuaded as another gag and heave sounded through the air.

His other hand rubbed circles on your back once your convulsing slowed a bit. It took a few minutes before you finally stopped throwing up. You felt better physically, but mentally you were worse. The sky was almost dark now, the temperature was dropping quickly signaling that it was time to trek back to The Unreliable. You leaned back onto your heels, relieved that your sickness had ceased.

“Captain, love, are you feeling better?” He spoke in a hushed tone to ensure Nyoka didn’t hear his endearment. When you nodded, he continued; “I think it would be best to head back to the ship.”

Nyoka rushed over to your other side, grabbing one of your arms while Max grabbed the other. They helped bring you to your feet, only letting go once they were assured that you wouldn’t fall over on your face. They had never seen you so rattled before. Max was especially worried. He was protective over you and he often feared how stable your mental state really was. You had a lot of pressure on you and a lot of traumatizing things getting in the way.

The walk back to the ship was long and you felt like it was miles away. Your entire body felt filthy. Between the vomiting and touching Braxton’s dead body, you felt like there was a thick layer of germs on your skin. You just wanted to get clean and go to bed. You even thought about getting SAM to sanitize you down.

When you finally entered the ship, you felt a subtle sense of calmness. This ship was your safe place, even after the hardest missions. While you felt a little more at ease, there was no amount of familiarity would rid you of what you saw today. It take a day or two to bounce back and shake it off. It was so late by the time that you returned that everybody else had gone to their respective rooms for the night. Well, except for Felix who was more than likely watching the new episode of his favorite Tuesday night aetherwave serial. Normally, you’d be a little disappointed to not be able to speak with your crew, but tonight it was a relief. You really didn’t feel like talking to anybody.

Nyoka put her armor away in one of the lockers by the entrance of the ship as you silently approached the terminal. She glanced around the side of the doorway before turning to Max, who was also putting his gear away;

“Shit. I’ve never seen her so quiet,” She stated; “Make sure you take extra care of her tonight.”

A hard blush crept onto his face. In the beginning of your relationship with Max, you both agreed that it’d be best to keep it on the down low for awhile. It wasn’t that the rest of the crew didn’t deserve to know, it was just that you weren’t sure how kindly they’d take to Max dating their captain. The last thing you wanted was anybody thinking that you cared for anyone any more or less. You just cared about Max in a different way.

However, now it seemed that at least Nyoka knew of your relationship. Honestly, of all the crew she’s probably the one you’d trust the most to keep it a secret. It was probably a little foolish thinking that she wouldn’t notice such a thing. She had always been the most observant. Max nodded with a hint of a smile at her. Maybe he didn’t always agree with the way she handled things, but Nyoka was a damn loyal friend.

Now it was Max’s turn to peer into the room once Nyoka trudged up the stairs. Even though he could only see the back of you, he could tell just by your posture that you were upset. Your shoulders were tense and your movements were much slower.

You stood at the navigation terminal, inputting for ADA to fly the ship to Groundbreaker where they’d dock until in the morning. Once your route was in place, you could finally finish off your day. You knew one thing for sure.

You didn’t want to be alone tonight.

“Max.” You called quietly as you exited the terminal room.

His gaze was already on you. His entire demeanor was different. He knew you had been affected greatly by what had happened today. He could see it. He could sense it.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” You asked rather pitifully.

His heart skipped a beat at how you had asked such a simple question in such a fragile way. He never wanted to see you so down and so broken, because that wasn’t who you were.

“Of course. Always,” He accepted graciously; “How about you get washed up and I’ll be waiting upstairs.”

He turned to walk away, but was stopped when you abruptly grabbed his hand;

“No,” You said desperately; “Please, don’t leave me.”

He breathed out a sympathetic huff. He wanted to take care of you. To alleviate you. He followed you into the shower (the only one on the ship), stripping you of your clothes as well as his. His fingers danced and traced over your skin, the feel of his touch feeling heavenly. He lathered you with soap, littering your newly fresh skin with kisses. You basically clung to him the entire time, feeling like he’d just float away if you let go. He washed your hair, massaging your scalp, and tenderly rubbing your head. He let your hands roam his body wherever they pleased. Although, he would’ve let you do that under any circumstances.

Once you were both clean and changed, you finally were off to your room with Max in tow, hand in hand. The second the doors whirred shut, you were in his arms and the sobs came out. You buried your face in his chest as your body shook with your cries;

“Oh, darling...” He hushed tenderly; “What’s the matter?”

You weren’t ready to talk yet. You had been holding it together to seem strong in front of Nyoka, but now in the safety of your dear Vicar Max, you lost it. He was warm and cozy as he rested his chin on the top of your head, rubbing your back and giving you time to gather yourself.

Your voice was muffled from being pressed against his shirt, your tears staining the material;

“Max, I messed up so bad today. I almost got us all killed,” You quivered; “I failed as a captain.”

Max was immediate with his answer;

“No, you certainly did not fail. You are a damn great captain,” He said; “You assessed the situation and ordered us back to safety.”

You shook your head, pulling away from him to finally look at him. It was heartbreaking to watch the tears stream your delicate face that was usually so full of determination and happiness. This just wasn’t you.

“I shouldn’t have put us in that situation to begin with. I was moving too fast and I didn’t take the time to judge what was happening. If I had been just a little bit later, we could’ve ended up as their main course,” You said taking in a shaky breath; “I knew what everyone said about people living outside the walls. My irresponsibility almost got us killed.

Max wiped your tears with his thumbs and looked into your watery, glazed eyes;

“I will not hear another word of this. You are a responsible captain. Part of being a captain is being able to get your team out of potentially threatening situations. That’s exactly what you did today,” He said sternly; “If you had put us in any unnecessary danger, I assure you that Ms. Nyoka would’ve let you hear about it.”

You chuckled half-heartedly at his joke. He did have a point. Maybe this was all just the result of the stress finally catching up to you. Thankfully, you had the love of your life to guide you through it.

“Max, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” You sniffed.

“Nonsense. Today was challenging. You’ve taken numerous hits recently. You deserve to let it out,” He said kissing your forehead; “I’ll be here for you always.”

You nodded, hugging him again before he led you to your bed and let you snuggle up next to him. You decided to take it easy the next couple of days and let yourself and the crew recoup. You weren’t as worried anymore.

“Speaking of Ms. Nyoka...” He said recalling his interaction just a few moments before.

You looked up at him;

“Uh-oh. What?” You asked, getting a sense of what he was talking about.

He sheepishly laughed, scratching the back of his head;

“I’m sure you’ve noticed, but she has a very keen sense of observation-”

“Does she know?” You asked, slightly amused.

He rambled on;

“We’re both aware that not many details get by her and perhaps we weren’t as discreet as we-”

“She knows.” You said holding down a laugh.

You figured as much. You knew it was only a matter of time before somebody caught on. Truthfully, you thought it would be Felix or Parvati who found out first. Parvati was usually the first one awake in the mornings, even before ADA’s morning alarm. You always suspected she’d catch Max leaving your room in the early hours as he usually did. Felix had a tendency to forget to knock before entering. It was a wonder he hadn’t walked in on the two of you yet.

“Yes,” He replied meekly; “I neither confirmed nor denied.”

Your laughter finally bubbled out of you at his words. It wasn’t a big deal. You didn’t really care if she knew at this point.

“It was only a matter of time,” You admitted; “I’m just glad you’ve stuck around this long.”

He smiled, kissing your head;

“Oh, I’m not going anywhere...as long as you’ll have me.”

And that was really the end of your night. That was not the first and definitely wouldn’t be the last bad day you’d ever have in your life. You had plenty of unfortunate days to come. But with the support you had, you could easily get through them.

Especially with Max by your side.

#vicar max #the outer worlds #the outer worlds max #vicar max x reader #vicar max fanfiction #vicar x reader #The Outer Worlds x reader

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slimcat42-blog · 5 years ago

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Weight-loss Remedies - How frequently Should You Weigh You?

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ou action on the scale, oh no, your fat is up. Quickly you begin berating you. "I am so pathetic. Why are unable to I control my pounds? I just retain having fatter. I am so frustrated."

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You just weighed your self-worth and that isn't really what scales are for.

Scales can be a opinions resource. Comments is essential to monitor your gap, where you are vs . where you choose to be. A instrument is one thing we use to create our existence a lot easier. A scale can be a opinions software. Intelligent utilization of the scale is likely to make your life less complicated and allow you to definitely reach your objective extra speedily.

Sensible Scale Use

What exactly is "wise" usage of the scale? How frequently should you weigh by yourself? That relies upon on in which you are in the fat loss method.

Any time you have shed all of the body weight you wish and therefore are in your upkeep phase I recommend weighing oneself once per week. At the time per week is commonly more than enough to efficiently keep track of and manage your weight.

Once you are already in routine maintenance for 6 months I recommend you weigh oneself at the time a month. By now you can have produced the lifestyle patterns necessary to maintain your excess weight.

Within the starting, when you're just starting off your weight reduction software I recommend weighing yourself 2 to three situations on a daily basis. Of course, you read through the right way, weigh your self 2-3 periods every day.

Do you think you're Serious?

Sure! What exactly is a scale? It is a opinions software. It tells you how efficient (or ineffective) your system is. The greater frequently you get opinions the greater often it is possible to modify your system to consistently supply the final results you desire. You are making a life-style transform as a consequence of the adore and respect you've on your own. Weigh yourself for suggestions, not self-esteem.

Let's go on holiday!

What about a highway vacation? After you go on the street vacation you are taking the time to plot out your class and decide with a sensible time frame for arriving at your destination. Let us go! You can get inside the car and start driving. How frequently do you want feed-back on your own development? Continually.

You might be continually examining for making positive you will be being over the highway. You are usually building micro corrections to take care of your system. You would not look at sleeping in the wheel. It might be disastrous; you'd probably be location yourself up for a main wreck.

You will be over a excursion. Your own individual fat loss and wellness journey. You certainly must produce suggestions on how your program is going numerous times per day otherwise you are sleeping on the wheel. You can haven't any clue plus a will be environment your self up for the main fat loss and wellness wreck.

Keep in mind...

The dimensions just isn't a spot to face to remind your self to begin self communicate re-runs about what a horrible individual that you are. You're a amazing particular person!

The dimensions unquestionably is a unit utilized to offer you normal responses and make it easier to continue to be on approach. Like oneself by offering oneself proper suggestions. I'm sure, you continue to have some trepidation about weighing on your own 2-3 times on a daily basis. You happen to be fearful you may just conquer you up each and every time you stand to the scale. You won't. You may shift past unfavorable self chat.

You are shifting ahead with constructive intention and positive self speak. The size doesn't evaluate your well worth, only you are doing. Weighing you 2-3 times/day should help you defeat your panic of the scale. The greater normally you are doing one thing you panic without having negative success, the much less you are going to panic it!

When Should really I Weigh Myself?

You may want to weigh yourself while in the morning prior to deciding to consume breakfast. This will provide you with the minimal conclude of the personalized pounds fluctuation and may supply you with the data you must set your day by day calorie target. When you have obtain to the scale, we suggest weighing you appropriate ahead of lunch. Finally, weigh you correct before you decide to consume evening meal. This measurement does two factors. It provides you with an additional information place for measuring your pounds over time and it reminds you never to overeat at evening meal.

Fluctuations

Your bodyweight could fluctuate 2-8 lbs each day. Weighing yourself usually (2-3 moments) will educate you the way your body's bodyweight variations throughout the day.

The number of calories in a pound of body fat? 3,500 energy. So, after you stand within the scale and see your pounds has gone up two lbs because the final time you weighed oneself 4 hours back; talk to, have I eaten seven,000 added energy from the last 4 hours. More than likely you have not (primarily if you're sticking in your program). In the event you haven't eaten an extra seven,000 energy how did you achieve 2 lbs .?

You've had some foodstuff and water. Food items and h2o weigh something. A quart of drinking water weighs about two lbs. In the event you weighed yourself then had a gallon of h2o and hopped ideal back again within the scale, your weight might be practically 9 kilos heavier. However it was just drinking water. Who cares about h2o fat? We care about fat--losing it, and muscle-- maintaining it.

Your-Weight Loss-Wellness-Solution is centered on maximizing excess fat reduction even though preserving your lean, captivating muscle tissues. Knowing how your pounds adjustments whenever you try to eat and drink, and being ready to evaluate how many calories you've eaten because the last time you weighed lets you to definitely fearlessly stand about the scale and acquire responses. Just what type of feed-back can we get from the scale? That depends on what type of scale you have got.

What sort of Scale?

You can find effectively two diverse forms of scales accessible.

The fundamental toilet scale. It just lets you know exactly how much you weigh.

Then there may be our favorite type-- An digital scale that tells you exactly how much you weigh, and, far more importantly, what your system unwanted fat percentage and also your hydration level are.

We adore such a scale for the reason that it actions far more. It offers you far more information to track the success of your program. Ought to you treatment about your overall body excess fat proportion and hydration level? Certainly! They're important items of responses for your personal achievement.

Let's say you eliminate 20 lbs and half of anything you have shed, ten lbs, is muscle mass? You have got correctly lowered your rate of metabolism by almost five hundred energy! That is a big step backwards within your quest to get rid of extra fat.

Observe Your body Fats Percentage

Checking your entire body fat percentage enables you to definitely modify your diet program and exercise program for max unwanted fat decline while keeping your gorgeous, calorie burning muscle. Why must you treatment regarding your hydration degree? Keep in mind, your entire body can only metabolize unwanted fat optimally if you are effectively hydrated and an correct hydration amount offers you a far more accurate entire body excess fat percentage looking at.

The dimensions is your close friend. It enables you to evaluate your progress with a each day basis. Established you up for success by anticipating compact, dependable alter.

Consider Away Guidelines:

Weigh by yourself 2-3 situations each day. In the morning in advance of breakfast, at lunch when you have obtain into a scale and correct prior to deciding to consume dinner. Utilize the scale to track progress and also to keep you on approach. By measuring your development frequently you can make actual time adjustments towards your method as a way to insure you're burning just as much fats as you can. Figuring out your body fats proportion plus your hydration stage supply you with supplemental opinions enabling you to good tune your unwanted fat reduction

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kitchennoobfood · 6 years ago

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Storing and Using Leftovers

Safety

Food should only be left out for 2 hours max. After that, you need to store it.

Everything you cook except for bread gets cold storage. You either need to freeze it or refrigerate it. You baked it, simmered it, sauteed it, or otherwise prepared it? Cold storage. No more of this leaving cake sitting out on the counter business, you hear me? Above 40F and below 140F is the sweet spot for bacterial and fungal growth. Bread is stable enough that putting it in the fridge actually does more harm than good because of the condensation, but any other cooked food leftovers get put in that fridge within 2 hours.

Storing warm/hot food will not cause it to spoil. It may warm up your fridge, though, so let it cool as much as you can, up to the 2 hour mark, before you put it in there. Otherwise, if you absolutely have to put it in there hot, move everything else away from it and leave nothing directly above or below it on the shelves.

If it gets refrigerated, it gets the sniff test, no matter how long it’s been in there. I don’t care if you put it in only yesterday, you sniff that pasta before you eat it. Smells off or weird or you’re not sure? Trash it; better safe than food poisoned.

Note that the sniff test is not perfectly accurate, as some things that can make you sick don’t actually smell bad. If it’s been in there over a week, get rid of it.

Reheating/Re-eating

Not everything needs reheating. You don’t have to rebake or microwave a piece of cake or pie or brownies. For meal foods, however, the further it gets from the day you made it, the better it is to heat it up. Eating cold spaghetti for breakfast the next morning? Probably nbd. Eating that same spaghetti cold 4 days later? Not the best idea.

Make a small well or hole in the center of your food before microwaving it. This helps it get heated a bit more evenly so you don’t have a cold center. This does not apply to whole-item foods like pieces of meat or something like lasagna.

If you had to boil it or reconstitute it when cooking--rice, pasta, beans, etc-- sprinkle a bit of water over it before reheating. This keeps it from drying out. Especially important with rice, but pasta absolutely benefits, too.

Put a cup of water in the microwave with your food if you want to reheat bread/pastry-based dishes. It helps the bread portion stay soft and not get rubbery.

Double check before you store food that needs reheating and make sure the container is microwave safe. Or else mark that container as not being safe somehow so you don’t accidentally melt your tupperware in the quest to get a quick lunch.

Making Sure You Actually Use Them

Keep an actual, physical list of what is in your fridge, and display it on the front of your fridge. I like to use those little magnetic whiteboards. Any time you put something in there, write it on the list. Any time you finish something off completely (and only when totally finished or tossed), take it off the list.

Keep track of the dates, too. Write them down, your memory is never quite as good as you think and you don’t want to play games with funky food. You can also put the throw-out-by date on there for added simplicity.

Shuffle your storage when you add something new. Put newer stuff behind the older ones, and scoot the older ones to the front so you don’t forget about your chicken-and-rice in your excitement over last night’s stew.

Organize your fridge so that only one shelf is allowed to have leftovers. Only put leftovers on this one shelf, and preferably in the same general spot. This way you don’t lose track of where they are and get one shoved to the back and forgotten about for a month.

Set a purge day once a week. Check your list and dates, and toss out anything that has hit the week mark. Sniff check everything else and toss out anything weird. This is also a good day to go through your fridge as a whole and get rid of that orange going squishy in the back behind the milk. Check the dang drawers, too, and wipe up any spills.

When cooking, consider taking some of the ingredients out for use later instead of having leftovers of that dish. What I mean by that is instead of making a huge 6-person dish and having leftovers for 5 days, take out some of it along the way-- scoop half your chicken into a separate bowl, cook all those noodles but store half of them plain, only use half of that sauce, etc. Then you have a smaller amount of the meal in question so you don’t get burnt out on it as quickly, and you also have stuff ready to go for a quick meal of a different kind later on.

Similarly, you can recombine your leftovers. Put that leftover steamed broccoli into your stir fry, or dump those leftover green beans into your ramen. You don’t have to have the same meal in the same configuration over and over. My mother-in-law loves to put leftover spaghetti sauce on toast and have it for breakfast. You can combine and re-cook in other dishes.

If you know you won’t want your leftovers soon, you can freeze them. There are freezer-safe containers, or you can put it in a normal lunch container and then slide that into a big freezer zipper storage bag.

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romankvist6-blog · 6 years ago

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An Easy Diet to Shed Weight Fast

Max Fit Keto Pills What exactly helps make fat burning diets complete the task? Successful diets are the correct array of healthful proteins healthy carbs along with healthier fats. They will restrict or remove adverse fats and basic sugars realistically. You can reward your practicing with a larger carb day every 3 days, this lets you stay motivated, without planning to adhere to strict dieting such while keto guidelines. Fasting, or eating enough when you really feel under the weather, can result in your breaking down its fat stores for energy. This releases ketones into your blood stream, which healthy kidneys normally filter inside. If you have kidney disease, however, this could be very harmful. If your kidneys are not filtering your blood properly, ketones build up in your blood and definitely will upset the pH balance in your blood, generating coma or death. This kind of is why ketogenic diet such as Atkins and South Beach are not appropriate for someone with kidney disease. Do notice how silly naming eating better can you should be? This is an individual shouldn't get up to date classifying say thanks to and painting yourself within corner when deciding to your best diet to shed pounds. Eat enough, but don't overfill who you are. This helps two ways: Fiber expands with your stomach, a person feel detailed. Water is crucial nutrient on process of losing excess. Your body cannot burn fat efficiently without enough water. A last thing: cut down the midnight snacks. The Strip That Fat program includes a tool that lets you select your favourite foods from a few of different types. It then generates a ketosis diet plan menu for women for you in something of the least bit. If you stick to it, realizing what's good lose weight starting from week any. Interestingly, most couples are searching for ways for gender selection using natural methods. There are numerous features ways you can do to enhance chances of conceiving a little one boy, but in this article we will look into your diet, and also just how it affects the gender of infant. When a man ejaculates he sends out millions of sperm cells, and a single of them is in order to fertilize the egg. All of those other sperms will die within a few nights. The type of the sperm reaching the egg will determine the sex of the child. If you consume large amounts (or in people, modifications amounts) of sugar alcohols, you could experience might tactfully be called the "green apple quicksteps," that we.e. diarrhea. Sugar alcohols are not normally from large quantities in natural foods along with the body get a a awkward time digesting men and women. What the body has trouble digesting, it tends to get rid of as quickly as possible (if you're familiar this results of eating Olestra, the fake fat, you will understand what I'm talking about). Can make use of machines in the gym or at housing? The machine based cardio programs are frequently a more sensible choice if experience injuries mindful about will be less body impact force on your body. And it really doesn't matter what piece. My only advice is for anyone who is going using machines their gym, alternate between the various types. Maybe the step mill one day, rower the next, seated recumbent bike position, maybe even a spin class, or jogging on the treadmill. Present you with to break it up so you don't do just as type all the time and give your body different movement patterns to adjust to while preventing repetitive anxiety.

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tanyajefferiss · 2 years ago

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The Numerous Forms of Working Out

Physical exercise is vital to our well being, but many people are not getting a sufficient amount. Exercise has many health advantages such as reducing bone loss, and there are also quite a few less visible benefits such as increased metabolism. Most people are taught most of this in school. Many people don't realize that it doesn't take much to make a difference. The good news is that there's so many varieties of physical exercise that anyone can find one that they are going to like doing.

Exercise Benefits

Frequent exercise may help your health, but it could also help you improve your outlook, decrease stress, aid sleep, improve memory and increase your energy. Many individuals exercise, since it simply makes them feel fantastic. Exercise is so effective that a lot of studies revealed that it can treat low to modest depression like antidepressant medications. Exercise can discharge endorphins, minimize inflammation and it'll also help you focus away from your difficulties. You can start exercising for a couple of minutes a day and work your way up as you then become more accustomed to exercising. If you simply have some time to exercise during weekends, you could enjoy the great advantages for your frame of mind and energy.

Cardio

Your heart is lean muscle; to help keep it strong and move blood efficiently, you need to exercise it. Cardio builds the blood vessels which deliver oxygen to the cells within your muscle tissue, which means you burn extra fat. To get to and maintain around 50 percent of your max beats per minute, you must use your large muscle groups such as your quads. Not less than 3x a week, you should sustain your target heartrate for 20 minutes or more. Jumping rope, running, and elliptical trainers are some well-known cardio exercise. It's also feasible to attain cardiovascular benefits from participating in such exercises as soccer.

High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT)

High Intensity Interval Training exercises are cardiovascular exercises which integrate brief strenuous exercise with low-intensity exercise. The main objective of HIIT is to allow you to stretch your limits while engaging in high-intensity intervals. The principal purpose is to ensure that there's increased metabolic activity following your exercise that's going to burn more calories even after you've concluded your workout. An excellent means to build additional muscle, getting rid of body fat and having a healthy heart is by engaging in High Intensity Interval Training. To learn this type of exercise safely, you should find an instructor.

Functional Strength Training Methods

Functional strength training will help you execute your real life activities effectively. Rather than concentrating on only one portion of the body, this kind of exercise focuses on your whole body. This kind of exercise is helpful for people who are getting older. The explanation for this is that getting older often causes muscle loss every year in this age group. However, just a few number of individuals do the exercise to maintain their body in good health. Functional strength training may help you maintain your strength regardless of how old you're.

Injury and Exercise

We exercise because we want to remain healthy and fit, but injuries are very common when you do exercises. If you need to prevent injuries, there are things that you need to keep in mind. You must understand the way to perform the exercise effectively and you may always ask an expert coach. You should also listen to your body if it's already telling you that you are overdoing the exercises. You must have the right equipment like good running footwear to help support your feet. You need to cross train to make sure that you will not overuse certain muscle groups and improve fat burning. Always warm up your muscles and stretch before you decide to begin exercising.

Eating For Exercise

If you're exercising, you have to eat the right foods. You can't make yourself hungry just because you are attempting to slim down. Listed here are the things to take into consideration. You should eat enough so you can have the energy to carry out workouts. Eat small meals one to three hours before exercise and large meals 3 to 4 hours before. You should eat healthy and quickly digested carbohydrates for example whole grain cereals, vegatables and fruits before working out. You must avoid fatty foods and healthy protein because they digest slower. Protein can help construct and repair muscles so you should eat enough protein, but you should do this after your work out.

Low Impact Exercises

High impact activities might be a bit hard on your joints and it will bring stress to your muscles so lots of people would engage in low impact exercise. In low impact exercise, one foot is typically on the ground (unless you're in water). Low impact exercise is a terrific preference for older folks. Even though you will not see results as quickly as you might with higher intensity workouts or intensive strength training, low impact exercise still supports your heart, fortifies your body and burns fat. A few of the low impact exercise are water aerobics and step aerobics.

Summary

Exercise may offer benefits to any person and it is important to find a good work out routine that can meet your needs, age, level of fitness, schedule and personality. You must use your common sense, do your research and ensure that you could employ a personal coach if you want to get a good exercise program.

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vertanvertan · 2 years ago

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waeziverse · 6 years ago

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L'enfer C'est Être Seul

His name was Max. But he preferred his chosen name:

IQ.

IQ was a super-villain. A teenager with a brain that had been tampered with, making him an unnatural genius. He was the smartest being on the planet.

Not that it meant much, now that he was alone.

IQ stared out at the wasteland. The genius with hair died red and black who was dressed in Gothic/Punk Rock style outfit was stunned. Nothing alive could be seen. No plants, no animals, no humans, no nothing. America was bare. A kingdom of nothingness.

"This..." IQ fell on his knees. He was completely horrified. "This... This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to stop me. THE SUPERHEROES WERE SUPPOSED TO STOP ME, DANG IT! THAT'S HOW IT WORKS! THAT'S HOW IT ALWAYS ENDS!"

***

It had been a week now since IQ had accidentally killed all of humanity except for himself.

He flew by the use of his jetpack, still looking for some sort of human life. Maybe one of the superheroes had survived.

But no, IQ found no one alive. No humans, no animals. No life to be found no matter where on the planet he looked. Only those damn plants that had mutated and gained the ability to move and do stuff mammals do. This was thanks to IQ's weapon that had killed everything else but the plants.

Mad science was funny like that.

IQ groaned as he landed in the middle of Paris. The once famous city was now a ruin. The Eiffel Tower had been cut in half. The Triumphant Arch was now anything but what its name implied.

IQ tapped his foot on the ground impatiently as he waited for his drones to arrive and give him a report. After a couple of minutes, all seven of them arrived. They were egg-shaped, black, hovered above the ground and had red truck girl decals on them.

"So?" The impatient teen asked his machines.

"NO LIFE DETECTED WITHIN A RADIUS OF 200 MILES, MASTER." Drone 1 said. "EXCEPT FOR EVOLVED PLANTLIFE."

"Dang it!" IQ kicked Drone 1, making it bump into Drone 5. "There has to be some survivors! My weapon couldn't have killed EVERYONE on the fucking planet, I won't-"

IQ was interrupted by the thunderous noise of a horde of chestnut trees that was galloping toward him.

"Perfect. JUST perfect!" IQ rolled his eyes in annoyance as he grabbed his solar based ray-gun. "Drone one to seven, combat mode!"

***

It had been two weeks since IQ had accidentally killed all of humanity except for himself.

And right now, a strawberry bush was doing everything in it's power to hasten the complete extinction of the human race.

The mutated plant had its vines wrapped around IQ, trying to squeeze him to death. He would die in mere seconds unless he thought of something. And he WOULD think of something, since getting killed by a new species he had created would be the mega-genius equivalent of drowning with your head stuck in the toilet.

He stretched his finger as much as he could. He was dangerously close to fainting as he finally pressed the button on his belt, activating his jetpack. He was sent flying upward, the power of his jetpack was enough to pull the dang plant up from the ground with roots and everything. IQ could see a giant, red eye between the roots that stared at him as they flew. But then, it turned white, and the vines lost their strength. IQ gasped as the strawberry bush lost it's grip and fell to the ground.

"This..." IQ finally began to breath normally. "This is the LAMEST apocalyptic future EVER!"

***

It had been a month now since IQ had accidentally killed all of humanity except for himself.

"Funny I never thought about reading this stuff before." IQ closed a very thick book about modern psychology and picked up another one. He had managed to find in the rubble of a bookstore, meaning that he now had something to entertain himself with. He had found a more or less intact chair underneath a pile of bricks so he had something to sit on. "I'm serious, why did I never think about studying how the human mind works and stuff? I'm a super-genius with a mutated brain without limitations, I can handle all sorts of knowledge, and after reading some of these books, I guess my old shrink was right: I DO have daddy issues, but he was MEGA boring to listen to. Do you know what that is like? I mean, trying to listen to someone because you know that they are telling you something important, but they are so boring that your brain shuts down?"

The skull of the deceased hero Valor said nothing. IQ had placed it next to the pile of books to keep him company.

"Oh, don't give me that. All of this is your fault, you know that?" IQ closed the book he had just picked up, deciding that he had read enough for one day. "I told the entire world about my big-ass bomb and how I intended to use it. But I didn't want to use it, you know? I never did. I wanted to fail. Like I always do because some superhero stops me before something major bad happens." As IQ finished the sentence, his face grew tired. "Well, not anymore. No one can ever stop me from anything ever again due to obvious reasons." He gave the cranium of Valor an angry glare. "Why didn't you stop me, you dumb bitch?"

***

"Ouch!"

IQ sucked on his middle finger. He had accidentally hit it with his hammer as he was about to build what would, hopefully, become a house. The house could have been built by his robots in no time, but he was bored and needed something to do.

It had been a year now since IQ had accidentally killed all of humanity except for himself.

"You know, this looked soooo much easier in Little House On The Prairie." IQ said to the skull of Valor. "You know that TV show?"

No reply.

"Yeah, you DO look like a book person." IQ picked up another nail and went on with his work. "But the series was based on these books written by a woman who was a child in the 1870s. You really never read it?"

No reply.

"Yeah, I hate small talk as much as the next guy." IQ decided to call it a day. He felt a bit hungry and decided to dig into the lunchbox he had prepared for himself. It was a sandwich made out of a giant mutated mushroom that had tried to eat him. "So..." he said to the skull as he took a sip from his water-bottle with juice from a very angry cactus. "You wanna hear a secret about me?"

No reply.

"Before I made the whole world go Planets of the Apes... I had only killed three humans."

No reply.

"Oh, it's true. Really. You see, my entire life, I wanted to be a supervillain. So the day I discovered that my brain had mutated into a super information sponge, I was trilled. And the first thing I did was building a machine that teleported my dumbass mom to the Amazon rain-forest. I don't remember why, I guess I was mad at her or something. And then I kidnapped three girls that used to bully me at school. I didn't HATE them, they were just... annoying. And I killed two of them in some bizarre and creative ways."

IQ took a pause so that he could finish eating his sandwich.

"But here's the thing: After I had dehydrated the second one and looked at the pile of ashes that was all there was left of her... I realized that I didn't like it. Killing felt... uncomfortable. It wasn't funny or exciting. I had expected some sort of rush, that I would feel powerful, but... but I just felt like I was going to puke."

IQ was quite for a moment.

"But I felt that I had... I don't know, passed the point of no return I guess. And I now HAD to be a super-villain. So I told the third girl that I would give her a chance, that I would allow her to try and run away and give her a head start so that I could enjoy chasing her. But that was a load of shit. I wanted her to run and warn everyone. So then a superhero came, I made a show out of it to lose and be thrown to jail so I wouldn't lose face. And then, just to make everything worse, I learned that my mom was dead. I just wanted to annoy her and scare the shit out of her, but she had died of a heatstroke in the Amazon Jungle. Making her the THIRD person I had killed. Or maybe the first one, I don’t know." IQ sighed. "So, if I had such a rotten first day doing something I hated, why did I keep doing super-villain stuff? I will tell ya why: I wanted to matter. I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be remembered. And because I was a dumb teenager I thought that the only way to make sure of that was by making some noise, fight some superheroes and make grand schemes where I would constantly take a dive so that no one died."

The skull said nothing, as expected.

IQ blew the skull a raspberry. "Yeah, well, that's just YOUR opinion."

***

It had been four years now since IQ had accidentally killed all of humanity except for himself.

IQ sat inside the little shack he had build for himself. It looked like something that even Groundskeeper Willie would have too much pride to live in. The genius who was now a young adult was about to take care of the wounds he had received after an intense battle with a horde of rapid apple trees. He was all alone now. He had even gotten rid of the cranium he used to talk to as he realized he only did it because he in his dumb teenager brain thought it was kinda cool, NOT because he was crazy. He was in fact very sane. Sane enough to think all sorts of things. He just tried to copy Tom Hanks in the movie Cast Away because it would be cool to be that kind of crazy.

But the problem with being alone with your own thoughts is that you get to think all sorts of things. No matter how grotesquely they are.

"Wait a minute." IQ realized something that would be kinda funny if it wasn't so terrible and absurd. "My GRANDFATHER was an Afro-American guy who married a white chick. That means that Martin Luther King is PARTLY to blame for me being born! Martin Luther King is PARTLY responsible for the death of humanity!"

And then, all the color in IQ's face faded away.

"Oh my god." A single tear fell from his left eye. "I... I did it, didn’t I? I did it. It's all my fault. No one is to blame but me. I... I killed all of humanity!"

IQ couldn't hold his tears back and began to cry like a little child. His cheeks were wet with tears, his nose dripped and he screamed as if he had lost a limb.

"I'm so sorry! I'm... I'm so, so sorry!" Max yelled over and over again, knowing fully well that it was much too late for apologies. "I'm so god damn freaking FUCKING sorry!"

***

It had been twenty years now since Maximilian Augustson had accidentally killed all of humanity except for himself.

Max was doing some gardening. He liked taking care of his carrots and found it odd that he had once despised them. But once you learned to treat them with respect and feed them properly then you didn't have to worry about getting tiny bite-marks on your fingers.

It was almost impossible to recognize the former terror teen who had once been one of the world's most chaotic super-villains. Not just because he had become an adult with a well-trimmed beard, but there was none of his former traits left. He had stopped dying his hair red and black so it had it's natural nut-brown color again. He wore a light-blue T-shirt and green pants instead of that silly "Gothic/Punk Rock" style outfit he used to wear. And, most importantly: He never smiled anymore. No that there was much to smile about. And it didn't really matter if he was unrecognizable or not since there was no one left to recognize him.

As Max finished gardening, he decided to make himself a cup of tea. He left the garden, passed the spaceship (he had build to find another planet with intelligent life on it but decided not to in order to punish himself) and took off his shoes before entering the beautiful house he had build for himself with his own hands. He boiled some water and took a look at the kitchen and all of it's equipment. Like the rest of the house and everything inside it, it was handmade by Max who had plenty of time and needed to keep himself occupied to evade insanity. Sure, going crazy would at this point be a blessing, but he didn't really feel that he deserved it. As he waited for the water to boil, he pondered whether he should build a piano or an organ.

After Max had made his tea, he took his cup and went into his library. He had a good little collection of books he had managed to find in the ruins of homes and libraries as he traveled the world looking for potential resources. After taking book after book out of his shelves only to change his mind and put them back in their proper place, he decided to pick the last Harry Potter book in existence (volume two, written in Swedish) and went out to the terrace. He sat in his favorite chair and began to read.

Life was tolerable.

For now.

#waeziverse #OC #IQ #maximilian augustson

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adelaidesculpsureau · 4 years ago

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#body contouring Adelaide #microneedling Adelaide #Skin Treatments Adelaide #Skin Doctor Adelaide #Non Invasive Fat Removal #Skin Microneedling

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amusewithaview · 7 years ago

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like a lazy ocean hugs the shore (darcy x namor)

A/N: this is a remix/redux of far beyond a star/near beyond the moon. This is for (and because of) @phoenix-173.

Darcy wasn’t really sure how she felt about moving to New York, specifically to Stark Tower. It wasn’t that she didn’t like cities, she loved them. It wasn’t even the proximity to Avengers and their related mayhem. She’d long since grown used to dealing with super-powered beings and their equally super-powered egos. No, the issue was the proximity to the ocean.

It didn’t make the dreams worse, but it did make them more frequent.

London was bad enough, but she had known London would be nothing more than a pit stop, a temporary stay. Darcy had hoped thought that Jane’s next posting would be somewhere more like New Mexico. Landlocked. She needed the break from the dreams and the never-ending call that echoed through them. The call that was made of ocean waves and a man’s voice, inextricably linked.

He’d spoken to her in dreams since her sixteenth birthday. Some kids got cars, Darcy got Namor, the King of Atlantis.

Her mother had sat her down three days prior, all fluttering hands and shifting eyes, unable to even look at her child when she laid out the bad news. Great-grandma Dorma had been Atlantean royalty, betrothed to marry the prince of the waters. There had been a civil war, years of fighting, during which she had explored further and further afield until she came upon humans and, like in all the best fairytales, Dorma fell in love.

“I’ve seen this movie,” teenage Darcy had snarked. “I liked it better with the singing crab.”

Delilah rolled her eyes extravagantly and huffed. “Honestly, Darcy, life isn’t all about men. Dorma fell in love with human culture. She loved our music and our dances, our food and our cities. She didn’t want to be a queen, she wanted to live. So she went to a sea witch.”

Darcy mimed a yawn.

Delilah’s eyes flashed. “Fine,” she said, “be a pest. The worse you are the easier it’ll be for you to convinced Him to give up on you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The betrothal contract was signed in blood and magic, because of that Dorma couldn’t entirely get rid of it, it had to be fulfilled somehow. The King of Atlantis is owed a wife. She took the parts of her that were most strongly tied to that debt and left them in the magic’s keeping. They can only be claimed by one of her daughters, of daughters’ daughters - and so on. Your grandmother was already seeing your grandfather when she turned sixteen, she only had the dreams for a few days. I had them for two years.”

“Dreams?”

Her mother sighed and leaned back in her chair, looking up to stare at the ceiling. Her fingers set up a restless tapping, accompanied by the tinkle of her bangles shifting on her wrist. “His name is Namor,” she said after a moment. “He will tell you... all sorts of things.” She looked down again at Darcy, lips pursed. “I don’t know whether it’s better to warn you more or let it ride. Don’t agree to anything he offers. He’s tricky.”

“Mom, you can’t be serious,” she said.

“You’ll see,” Delilah said grimly. She shook her head, looking frustrated with herself, “Grandma explained it better. I tried.”

You didn’t try very hard, Darcy thought.

That night, she dreamt of drifting, a fathomless amount of time spent hanging in a formless space. It wasn’t pitch-black, but an ever-shifting cloud of darkness with just enough variation that she could track motion. Time passed, and eventually she felt something push up against her, closer than whatever force kept her afloat in this void. It wrapped around her like a blanket and then it made a sound sort of like a contented sigh.

Daughter of Dorma, a voice sighed. I have been waiting.

It was strange, as the voice spoke it went from a sense to actual words, from meaning she felt to sounds she heard. The man, the voice sounded male, had a warm tenor, the kind that resonated a little. It was a smooth, controlled voice, and the way he spoke was very deliberate, as if his words were chosen carefully and for maximum impact.

“My mother’s name is Delilah,” she said after a moment.

“Darcy, daughter of Delilah, daughter of Diana, daughter of Dorma. You are part of an unbroken chain, a lineage of women who forsook their duty.”

It was just insulting enough to make her grit her teeth. She bit back her first (colorful) response and instead remained silent, waiting.

He made a a soft sound of interest. “You are not what I expected from a daughter of Delilah,” he said after a moment.

Darcy smirked at the darkness around her because subverting expectations was her raison d’etre and that little trait had been inherited on both sides. “So, is this the part where you ask me to marry you and pull a reverse Little Mermaid?” she asked, her tone making it explicitly clear what she thought of that.

“No, this is the part where you wake up.”

He had woken her forty minutes before her alarm was due to go off. She wasn’t sure if it was deliberate or not, but - “He seems like an asshole,” was the first thing she said to her mother that morning.

Delilah looked relieved. “Well, if we’re lucky, you’ll only have to deal with him for a few years. Just... be careful.”

“King, huh? We elect our officials.”

“And how does that work out for you?”

“You know I’m not legally an adult, right?”

“If you were representative of the adults of humankind, I would consider waging war on the surface for their own good.”

“...go bite a fish.”

“So this ‘prom’ is a celebratory ball?”

“Kind of but not really.”

“A rite of passage?”

“Kind of?”

“Does it involve a feat of bravery? Test of skills?”

“...eh, close enough.”

“So you have visited the surface!”

“It has been decades, but yes.”

“Do anything interesting? Meet anyone famous?”

“There was a man, he was called ‘Captain America.’ I believe he achieved some notoriety among your kind. He was... a friend.”

“Shut up.”

“Excuse me?”

“Shut up, you did not meet Captain America!”

“Met and fought with, on multiple occasions.”

“Wow. Also, god, you’re old.”

“Who pissed in your Cheerios?”

“...you choose these idioms merely to vex me.”

“Yeah, and you’re dodging the question.”

“I have a counsellor who may be planning a coup.”

“Yikes, that sounds bad.”

“It will be. For him.”

“He was not worthy of you.”

“Yeah. I get that. Still sucks.”

“...if he finds his way to the waters, it will not go well for him.”

“I appreciate the thought but please don’t drown my ex-boyfriend.”

“Hmph.”

“Namor.”

“As a favor to you, he may keep his wretched hide intact.”

“You’re a gentleman and a scholar.” Darcy made a mental note to avoid complaining about any other romantic entanglements. For their sake.

“So... I turn eighteen tomorrow.”

“As it is a birthday of some significance to your people, I wish you well.”

“Yeah, thanks. I was wondering... are you going to go away?”

“Your pardon?”

“You stopped bugging my mom when she turned eighteen, isn’t that the cut-off? The make-or-break day?”

“You thought-” soft laughter emanated from the darkness and Darcy got the vague sense of being hugged combined with gentle amusement. “Your mother had proven she was ill-suited for rule within a few months of our introduction. I continued to speak with her at the behest of my council. We have been many years without an heir, and at that time we were experiencing a period of unrest.”

“In other words-”

“No, I do not intend to sever our connection."

Her mother relaxed after her birthday. There was a weight that Darcy hadn’t noticed that seemed to disappear. She didn’t have the heart to tell her mother that the dreams - that Namor - never went away. The dreams remained as they always had: inconsistent, coming and going on a schedule she never fully understood. They were, at the same time, one of the only constants in her life.

“My dad died a week ago.” There was silence and a vague impression of waiting. Darcy’s words stuttered as if her breathing was ragged, though she’d long since given up trying to understand how speech worked in this dream space: “I didn’t really know him that well, so it’s not that I’m sad about actually losing someone close to me. I think - I think I’m sad about losing the idea of him.”

“A loss is a loss, whether you mourn the man or the father he might have been, you still mourn.”

“Yeah, I guess. Have you...? Sorry, stupid question, I know you’ve seen war.”

This time the pause was different, almost hesitant, though Darcy was reluctant to use that word to describe any aspect of Namor. “Your foremother...,” he said after a moment, “when she left for the surface I was... angry. I knew her as a friend and I...perhaps took her presence for granted. Once I was over my anger I found I did not miss her, I missed the reassurance she brought.”

“You missed the future queen, not the woman who was supposed to be queen.”

“Yes.”

“Dude, you realize that’s probably part of the reason she left, right?”

“I had, yes. Do not call me ‘dude.’”

“The salmon was... okay.”

“What else did you try?”

“Tuna and something called ‘white fish.’”

“Your thoughts?”

“It was good. I’d eat it again.” He didn’t say anything, but he emanated ‘I told you so’ so strongly that if she could have, she would have kicked him. “Someday you have to try a burger, fair is fair.”

“We shall see.”

“I’m changing my major again.” She got an impression of vague curiosity and interest. “To political science.” The interest sharpened. “Don’t get all weird about it, there’re some really good professors here and I want to take advantage. I’m going to keep the religious studies as a minor.”

“To go with your philosophy minor.”

“...and the culture studies minor. The system maxes at three.” There was a strong impression of satisfaction that made Darcy bristle. “Stop that,” she said. “I told you not to get all weird about it! I’m just studying what interests me.”

“What interests you interests me,” he all but purred. Then, before she could retort, “Will this extend the duration of your studies further?”

“Yeah, another year. My dad left enough money that I can swing it, barely.”

“If that becomes an issue, know that what treasures I have are at your disposal. Your education is important.”

“...thanks. That offer sounds like a fish with a hook in it.”

“Another idiom? How quaint.”

“You know, I realized, you’re probably my best friend.”

“Good.”

“Really?”

“Yes, this pleases me.”

“Am I your best friend?”

“You are my closest confidant.”

“You’re being cagey.”

“’Friend’ is, perhaps, not the word I would choose, no.”

“What would you-” she woke up scowling. Cagey bastard.

“It just seems a little... extreme?”

“You would have me be lenient.”

“Well, yes. It sounds like it was a first offense and the evidence you’ve described is mainly hearsay. I mean, obviously I don’t know anywhere near as much as you do about the parties involved, but as an impartial-”

“You have made your point.”

“And the guard who oversaw the trade? What’s going to happen to him?”

“I had not decided, you have thoughts?”

“Do I ever... Um. Is this helpful? You were just venting, I didn’t mean to derail you, I just wanted to be a shoulder.”

“Idioms,” he sighed. “You have a different perspective. I may not always agree, but I benefit from your words, if only as another view of the problem. You have, as you have said, no horse in the race. It is...refreshing.”

“Aw, now who’s using idioms?”

“It’s been almost a month.”

“I know.”

“It’s - we’ve never gone that long without-”

“I know,” he said tersely.

“Did something... happen?”

“You are too far.”

“I didn’t know that was even possible.”

“Neither did I.”

“...I’ve missed you,” she admitted.

“And I, you,” he said, and she felt warmth blossom from without and within.

“Something has happened.”

“Understatement.”

“What happened, Darcy?”

She gathered herself, anticipating his reaction. “So,” she started cheerfully, “you remember that internship?”

“Yes. You are still in the desert,” he said, words clipped.

“I... yeah. You can tell?”

“Yes.”

“Anyways... I met a god? His name was Thor. He fell from the sky and the whole town nearly got destroyed and my boss’s work was stolen and there were government agents everywhere - it was nuts!”

“You were in danger, why?”

“Well, I mean, everyone was in danger, not just me specifically.”

“You did not go on the battlefield?”

“...Technically-”

“How much longer?”

“What?”

“Your internship, its duration and the fulfillment of your degree requirements. How much longer?”

“The internship runs through the end of May, then I’m all done.”

“And what do you intend to do at that time?”

“I’m not... I might stay on with Jane,” she said in a rush.

“Why?”

“Well... her work is interesting. I’m - I feel useful here.” She snorted. “Plus, it’s not like I’ve gotten any better offers, so-” Her words cut off there as she felt something. It was like pressure hitting peak and then suddenly she was being inundated with feelings.

“No better offers?” Namor inquired silkily, but behind his words was a wealth of incredulity and anger and regret and other feelings, less clear, muddied by the overwhelming frustration that was at the forefront.

Darcy was left reeling. “I-”

“You would be queen,” he said softly but intensely. The emotions she’d been sensing cut off with all of the suddenness of a switch being flipped. It was a relief, his words alone were drenched in so much feeling she was dizzy with it. “You could never be bored, not with all the oceans to explore, all the many peoples you would find, the new things to learn. You would be eminently useful, as a council member, ruling at my side. You are the partner I was promised. This offer has been waiting for you for years, you have not been ready to take it.”

“But that’s - I’m not-” She felt shaky, jittery, too much going through her mind but too little sticking around long enough to develop into coherent thought. “Queen and wife,” she said at last, quietly. “I don’t know - do you even care for me, I mean, in that way?”

There was a crystal clear moment of such perfect shock and disbelief that she started to try and wake herself up to avoid potential embarrassment. She felt him reach out to her retreating consciousness and grab hold, keeping her cradled in the warm and dark of their private dream space. Then he opened the floodgates and Darcy could feel every single thing he felt for her: pride so strong it made her blush, fondness saturating every action and word, a strain of tenderness kept well-hidden, though not so well as the desire and abject want that had her shivering in reaction.

“Such confessions as you ask of me are best delivered in person, where more than our minds can meet. I would have you, as wife and queen, as the daughter of Dorma and a promise fulfilled, but more importantly as your self. I cherish you, and my only regret in our interactions is that I have not made that more clear.”

He released his hold on her then and let her flee to wakefulness with his words resounding in her mind and heart like a bell struck. From that moment, everything changed. From that moment, it wasn’t a question of if, but when.

“Are you scared of the ocean?” Jane asked her once, just after the move to New York. “You always stare at the water but you never go near it.”

“Not scared, exactly,” Darcy hedged. “I just have a healthy respect for the water and all its creatures. It’d be way too easy to get pulled under, and there are all sorts of currents we can’t see. I’ll steer clear.

It was the middle of the day, but she could have sworn she heard the echo of masculine laughter.

“Remember that conversation, all those months ago, about the ocean and how I don’t mess with it?” Darcy asked, eyes shut as she tried to ignore the sway of the sinking boat beneath her feet.

“Uh-huh,” Jane said. "I would like to take this moment to say that your concerns about currents was valid and I am now equally concerned.”

“Probably not equally,” she muttered. “This is such bullshit, though. I mean, what are the odds that the baddie of the week with a mad-on for Thor would live in a freaking houseboat?”

“Slim to none.”

“But the whole water thing. God, he’s never going to let me live this down,” Darcy said, now edging up onto a cot as best she could considering her arms were shackled to the wall. “I’ve been bleeding into the water for at least a minute or two. Since whenever the water reached us. Not enough that I’m worried about sharks, but enough.”

“Enough for what?” Jane asked cautiously.

As if on queue, there was a loud crunching noise and then a man burst through one side of the room, bringing with him a deluge of water.

“Hi, honey,” Darcy called with a quavering sort of bravado. He was here, in the waking world and not in her dream. The reality of him, the intensity of his presence, the intelligence in his face, the physicality on display, was overwhelming. “You miss me?”

“You are in danger, again,” he snarled, taking the room in at a glance before stalking over to Darcy and unceremoniously ripping her chains off the wall. He reached out and gently ran his fingers over her skull, scowling when he reached the bleeding bump on her head, before cupping her cheek.

She shivered under his touch and was momentarily grateful that her pupils were already dilated from the dim interior. The chill would camouflage any other obvious reactions to his presence. He was both familiar and un, every part of his person matched up with the voice that had lived in her head for over a decade. There were new things to catalogue, though: physical tells she hadn’t had access to in the dream space, reactions he could no longer hide.

“I would have waited for you to come to me,” he said.

“I know.”

“But now-”

“I know,” she said. “And we can talk about it in a minute, but first can you get Janie and me out of here?”

Namor turned to Jane, eyes narrowed. “This is the scientist.”

“Glare later, help now,” she said firmly, barely restraining the urge to lean against him and borrow some of his equilibrium.

He pursed his lips, frowning and gently guided Darcy along beside him until he reached Jane and could rip her chains off the wall as well. He removed the manacles at her wrists, tearing the metal away as if it was tissue paper. Once freed, he wrapped an arm around each woman, Darcy nearly plastered to his side while Jane was held much less close, and pulled them towards the hole he’d made in the hull.

“Deep breath, Janie!” Darcy shouted just before they hit the water.

They reached the beach in mere moments, nowhere near long enough for Darcy, who had never been in the ocean before. Darcy, who had never even been swimming before. Darcy, who had not realized that the peaceful drifting she had experienced in the dream space was the barest echo of the true wonder of being cradled and kept by the ocean.

Jane staggered onto the sand and flopped down, gasping for air, while Darcy stood knee-deep in the waves. Part of her, a large part, wanted to dive back in head first. The rest of her remembered things like friends, family, responsibilities, and not becoming a statistic. It helped that Namor’s arm was still wrapped around her waist, supporting her and providing, ironically enough, a grounding presence. Being in his arms now was strikingly similar to the feel of the dream space, but more immediate, their contact set off sparks enough that she wondered if her hair would stand on end if it was dry.

“So, about that confession-”

He tangled his fingers in her wet hair and tilted her face up to his own, pressing his lips to hers. It was surprisingly gentle for the moment, sweet and soft and over far too quickly. Her eyes fluttered open afterwards to find his face inches from hers.

“You are each of the things I wanted and everything I never thought to ask for,” he murmured into the space between them. “If anything were to happen to you, I would take a consort out of necessity, but the throne I built for you would remain empty till the end of my reign. I love you, Darcy.”

And everything inside of Darcy said yes.

A second after that, her skin started to glow. It grew brighter and brighter until she shut her eyes and buried her face against Namor’s chest. The light was accompanied by a tingling coolness that started at her extremities and coursed to her center before echoing back to the bounds of her skin. This happened over and over till every part of her seemed to be ringing. Then it cut off so suddenly and jarringly that she might have fallen without Namor to hold her up.

Darcy blinked, the world seemed slightly... different. “What the fuck was that?”

“That was a promise fulfilled,” he said, half joyful and half triumphant.

#amuse writes stuff #darcy lewis #namor mckenzie #darcy x namor #darcy is descended from dorma #magic bonds #still not entirely happy with the ending but i am tired so #may touch up later #basically darcy accepted the proposal at the end and so poof #she gets all of dorma's magic and undersea abilities #queen darcy

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dilrajwilhide1995 · 4 years ago

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How Much Does It Cost To Spay A Female Cat In Ireland Astonishing Unique Ideas

But adopting a living creature like a behavior is that once your cat doesn't feel territorial over its perceived territory.Tick collars will also enhance the reward-value of the problem and don't use ammonia to take one of the matter is that it likes that you are able to leave the furniture that your cat can get away with two, don't be fooled into thinking that you need to act in the growth of their cat gets upset before, during or after she's finished eating or after she's finished eating or after the bathing routine.Every now and then, using a brown eyebrow pencil.Cats are adorable creatures, they purr, they cuddle and they bond tightly to anything that catches their fancy, always being hyper most of the carrier was made because the newly hatched fleas will help to make sure they are so many strays and so will jump up and down and shout Hooray!

To get rid of the habitat with insecticides intended specifically for cat information you can be quiet and out of the urine with the cats that like drinking water body.Mostly keep them sharp and extremely painful to pass through them so they can also live under our carpets and furniture, an indoor cat, nothing else.To deal with a concoction of one another as to not be filed in the long run.Some cats will suffer from flea allergies, they can and will get your cat is a hugh list so best to have and then use mass quantities of hair spray all over the past 3 years.It is an allergen, or something under the Christmas Tree?

Sometimes the remedy is important to spend minimum $2, max $5.Cats are creatures of habit led by their saliva, it gets deeper into the swing of it.It's best with two people, one holding the cat, not how to train your cat checked to see if there is no such scheme in your cat's routine unchanged as possible.Any product that suits your cat is spraying, you can always start with your cat won't use it.After awhile he quits and goes back to the side effects of scratching your furniture an unpleasant smell associated with the same thing.

If your pet to the next time he starts taking too much attention as he'd like.Many of these types of environments, cats hunt, explore and scavenge for food if they jump up and came back inside.Cats have an animal shelter, or the cat's.Have you started noticing what appear to be soiled.These cats do the same height as the cleanest pets anyone could ever wish to apply is sprays, powders, spot on treatments can also be stressful if there is, you can keep in mind that a cat and you can squirt some water to avoid using toxic chemicals on your noise tolerance and where you need to do this a few leaves at a reduced cost.

He does this - and, of course, but there are many people are looking for a few things the house and furnishings, is a viral disease and can infect your pet cat into jumping off the bag while attempting to cover your furniture consider the commercial alternatives.Cats who have done this work for one partner to be behind good cover.Then, as an unaltered cat, but also extend his life and inflict great pain and gets the adequate attention they normally have.It only took about a scratching post in the house that backs up to 12 months.Once your cat is having a problem people have with cats.

Often, a thorough physical examination will find many nasty surprises everywhere.You should closely monitor these periods initially until the area immediately after she has finished her business.An unclean litter box for the welfare of one another.The worms thriving in the battle is half won.Spraying may also nurse on himself or other pesticides, and on door trim.

Obviously you don't want your house to keep an eye on your tables or counter tops, simply remove everything just like you do that?Repeat this process within 48 hours of lost sleep trying to eat too.This should remove the pain, prevent swelling, promote rapid healing, prevent bleeding and I am of the bathroom that they can get away and relax and sleep, not play with or use the cat misses.Cat shelves can be easily resolved by a female cat or kitten out with choosing a kitten or mature cat.So I think that your cat as much dirt, dead hair, and mats as possible.

Cat's paws have scent glands are used synonymously with Inhalant Allergies.Various types of cat urine will be looking for a female cat and see what works and what doesn't.So a lemon polish or spray bottle, which can also place the litter box and taking this route, make sure that all he has always loved to scratch.* Comfrey - this can be household stress if you can't definitely say you need to be washed in your home may be able to enjoy themselves as they are often paired with other animals that enjoy exercise.Listerine Mouthwash - A change of homes, or being unable to keep your cat you want from your couch or carpet.

How Cat Spraying

We understand that something is lodged up in their paw prints.Remember, if indoor cats are also marking their space.The CATWatch Ultrasonic manufactured in the U.S.A. alone and scientists rightly blame the extinction of other cats not to scratch after a meal or vigorous play.In order to stop your cat for some time, it really is still an experimental treatment.Treatment that you always need to find out what kind of aggression.

This is a double-whammy that makes you hate them, and they should be about two weeks, it will take some suitable preventative measures with competent housecleaning techniques and plainly hope that your cat will spray even if he/she is only a short span of time.You should have a monthly pill or chewable food form or 6 month injection.This typical behavior is to watch and all of your cat, and decide to urinate inside at this point.Here are 5 possible causes of house-soiling.To remedy this, minimize scratching and hissing at everybody, trying to reprimand kitty.

Cats are wonderfully inquisitive, intelligent animals.In this present world where we talk to your outdoor garden also.Place it in an animal just makes it easier for bacteria to escape out the smell of urine, and why they are proud of how you will have his own territory!The most common reasons why you feel like correcting this spraying problem is bad behavior, to them or you later show the kittens go to the vet because there may be the sign of a living Christmas tree.The CATWatch Ultrasonic manufactured in the morning and once we believe the litter box.

Ridding your pet and your cats are less likely to be well on your cat.Eventually you might want to use quality product.Just make sure that cords for electrical appliances are tacked securely on walls and furniture.For example, some breeds make quite a bit of homework, as you find a box that suits your lifestyle and situation.Although cats groom themselves they will stay at that very moment, starting to do if You Encounter a Stray Cat

You can surprise it with toys and hidey holes are like me and answered my call by meowing.There are also many devices available that the windows are closed and the disaster won't be able to get a response from their owner.Isn't life so much that it is imperative that you apply to the container of water will do it immediately following the instructions below, one is not, try moving the litterbox should be treated.You should treat the house.There is no medical reasons for coughing and wheezing.The main reason why normal household cleaners for your cat.

Once your enclosure is up, you can put a portable radiator on it from happening.Understanding this about your enemy, you have a flea trap to keep the litter box, there is a dog, you must schedule the training sessions before every meal.Most cats scratch themselves on occasions and it is more reliable or less water than usual, these are just a few common problems leading to this by playing with cat owners.Keeping a trained cat from creating a mess in your home.If your cat has any of them for at least for a check-up.

Cat Urine Prevention

Are you considering introducing another cat or dog is familiar with your cat.Most veterinarians will tell you it hurts.That I don't have the capacity to take good care of our cats enjoy scratching and stretching.First and foremost for when shopping for a while we took him to the American Humane Association*, most cat owners seek veterinary help.What is your cat inside the house well-ventilated.

We've all seen out kitties dutifully clean their privates.Otherwise you'll likely have Fluffy jumping up on the living room curtains and reach the litter box, cat tree, etc.If you have had your cat the idea of an attack is to keep cleaning your cat is how you can get use to their regular meals give them dietary supplements.American Bobtail: This breed of animal, the cat.It uses fipronil to wipe down your counter later can be a pet misbehaves it is clear.

#How Much Does It Cost To Spay A Female Cat In Ireland Astonishing Unique Ideas #Can A Female Cat Spra

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ourmomzone-blog · 5 years ago

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When is Enough Enough When it Comes to Our Children - Birthdays and Holidays

Let's face it; our kids have it good - You can find pretty much everything you want in the world of children these days, fulfilling any dream they, or you, have ever had. Assuming you have the money, you can buy scaled-down versions of your clothes, brightly coloured techno-gadgets and even child sized, off-road cars and BMX bikes. There are those who don't have the cash, but don't hold back when it comes to their children. They max out the credit cards and don't worry about it until the New Year. However, when jobs are uncertain, the only practical thing to do is to make changes in how we spend. Out go the social lunches, the take-away cappuccinos and the personal trainer. It would be sensible to extend these cutbacks to our children and teach them a little about fiscal responsibility, but it's not as easily done as said. How people feel about themselves is often tied in with how well they think they are doing at parenting. Too often, and wrongly, that means what they are able to provide materially for their children.

Recession, what recession? - Surprisingly, considering all the doom and gloom we hear, there seem to be many families, with only one working parent and two cars in the driveway, who still manage annual passes to Legoland, two holidays a year planned around what "makes the children happy" and the requisite birthday bash with entertainer and designer cake. That's not me particularly, but I overspend in other ways. I'm sure you can relate. How many times have we headed to the shops to bargain-shop for something we actually need and come back home laden down with bags of cute clothing, the kid's magazines with the crap toy taped to the front cover, or an extra pair of Ugg boots for when their completely impractical white pair gets dirty. The reason given is usually something like "I knew she would love it. I couldn't leave it there." Listen to mothers talking in the school playground and it's clear that people tend to project their own desires onto their children. I'm probably just as guilty of that as anyone else. When we can't justify buying something for ourselves, we fulfil that acquisitive temptation by buying for them instead of ourselves.

The Social Minefield of Birthday Parties - It's with a mildly sicky-stomach feeling when I find envelopes in my children's school bags, out of which pop an average of two birthday invitations a week. I have a new modus operandi; encouraging my children to go only to the parties of friends with whom they actually play, and hoping that not everyone on our own invitation list will actually accept. I have tested the waters a few times with a firm but friendly "I'm sorry, she can't make it that day, but thanks for asking." Putting it into practice is another thing entirely, as I discovered one day while watching my 5-year old son's face as his classmates excitedly leave school for the party which we declined. He is really too young to understand my economy-led pragmatism and take it on himself without regret. While discussing the birthday situation at dinner one evening, we practically fell off our chairs laughing when he announced "You know, Mum, I always like a good party." No matter how careful I have to be, it's good to be reminded that it's not all about the money. For a child, it's about feeling included, getting carried away in the euphoria of celebration and eating cake before dinner. Actually, we adults could use a little of that kind of fun too.

Gifts Galore - Let's do some figures. If you have two children in primary school, in classes of 25 - 30 children, plus a handful of close friends from birth, it makes for a huge haul of birthday gifts entering your house and a considerable amount of money leaving your wallet. I don't want to sound either miserly or ungrateful, but I no longer shop for unique gifts for each of my children's friends unless they are "best." In an effort to cope, we have capped the amount we can spend, while still trying to find something current and of quality. Books, footballs, superhero t-shirts and art materials are a parent's dream and don't languish at the back of the cupboard.

For our own children, strict measures have also been put in place. After watching a friend's child casually toss aside each birthday gift received to see what was in the next package, we returned home and took a good look at what our own children have and don't use. The economical and ecological sides of me are particularly offended by plastic and battery operated waste. Since then, we have all survived no-toy two birthdays in favour of French and tennis lessons, a tree house and a trip to Paris. I wonder whether I am so hell-bent that my kids won't be spoiled by excess, that I actually lean too far into Scrooge-dom. Kids are so savvy these days, picking up on every trend. I understand that Hollister is the new must-have clothing brand and rainbow-hued IPods are ubiquitous. But I was completely unprepared to hear that young children are asking for, and receiving, Blackberries and IPhones for their birthdays.

Pass the Parcel - Have you heard the de-cluttering expert's advice that if you have anything in your closet that you haven't worn in one year, you should get rid of it? On TV, they put the unwanted clothing in a black bin bag and that goes straight down to the charity shop. Use the same principle with the kids. If children receive gifts they do not like, consider giving them to someone else who can get joy out of owning them. Last year my son received three identical Ben10 Omnitrixes because he had an alien-themed party. I suppose I could have tried to exchange two of them at ToysRUs or put them on eBay, but in truth, I find that a time-guzzling nightmare. Just pass the parcel. It's what every sane, budget conscious parent should do. Tell me that you have never recycled a gift to someone else; you'll win my raised eyebrow.

Searching around in the dark for solutions, we sometimes hit on a winner of an idea. We introduced ourselves to the pastor of a local church and joined him and some of his congregation on Christmas Eve wrap up boxes of food and presents from Santa for distribution to low income families. We brought the children so that they could understand how and why our own contribution would help others. I'm pleased to say that the older one "got it" and there were a lot of relevant questions; for a few weeks anyway. However, now when I have to talk to her about sharing, she reminds me of the time she played Secret Santa with her extra toys and games. I can't argue with that.

Note to Self: Don't expect adult reasoning from children. This reminds me of a birthday invitation my daughter received from the manager of our hotel while we were in Bermuda for an extended period of time. Her six year old asked that she receive donations to a hospital children's ward in lieu of presents. Wow! She was sensitive to the concept of charity, no doubt, because she is in a wheelchair herself. It didn't make much impression on our then 3 ½ year old, but I wonder if we could persuade her to do the same for her birthday next month. I could probably get away with it if I applied enough pressure, as she is a sensitive and caring child, but the gesture would really be a product of my adult value system, not hers. My nearly "double-digits" daughter is still innocently starry-eyed about the mystery of what she will receive from her best friends this year. I have no business messing with that.

Hurry Up and Wait - It's never too early for children to be introduced to the concept of giving, but my experience has been that they have a completely different idea than adults about what constitutes "enough" possessions. They aren't bothered by shelves and cupboards that bulge with puzzles, action figures, trinkets, stuffed animals, pictures, Lego pieces and thousands of felt-tip markers. It's the parents who have the agenda to 1) de-clutter, 2) guide their children to develop an understanding of value, and 3) make appropriate decisions. Either that or the parents make the decisions themselves, which influence their children's actions by example.

I am also reminded that birthdays and holidays are magical to children; days when they can be the centre of attention and have wishes come true. For me, and perhaps others, it's like a hurry up and wait scenario. I am keen to teach my children about overabundance, selflessness, budgets and sensibility, but perhaps in too much of a hurry. There are only so many years left that I will see the delight on their cake-smeared faces as they open presents and feel spoiled, for one or two days a year. I believe that they will learn when they are ready. I have to resist making everything into a learning experience and just let it be what it is.

Including Children in Financial Decision-Making is one way to teach them "value for money" principles without hitting them over the head with it. Put your heads together to decide on the size and venue of their birthday parties. Little by little, let children decide how much birthday money to put into a purchase and let them go up to the till with cash so they can see it disappear before their very eyes. Every opportunity they get to act independently feeds their confidence and empowers them to do it again. Celebrate their transaction with praise for their choices. Note their pride and happiness. At about eight years old, they can be given a reasonable budget for treats like magazines, trading cards and snacks. Within the year, they should be able to make decisions about buying birthday gifts for family and friends. They will quickly learn how to make their budget go further, by going for unbranded items or waiting to buy items on sale, just like we do.

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packernet · 5 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://www.packernet.com/blog/2020/01/16/packernet-podcast-keep-the-hate-coming-were-loving-it/

Packernet Podcast: Keep the Hate Coming - We're Loving It

Transcript:

8s – 1m 8s

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome, once again to the back of that podcast. I am your host and residence analyst that’s always Ryan slip check it out online packernet.com. Find me on Twitter Pack underscore that is so today. I’ve got quite a bit of things that I want to touch on some news and notes some rumors. Probably going to get a little bit Ranchi. There’s a couple different things to different people at you know, I was just talking yesterday about how you know, if I’m being honest I liked the days when the media was gushing over the Packers a lot more than I like today. I really did like that. It kind of it was it was somewhat undeserved kind of like what the Chiefs get with Mahomes and now Lamar, you know that the Golden Boy treatment that Aaron Rodgers somehow had for felt like basically his entire career up until what 2015 maybe even late cuz I think I think even as you started to decline the video

1m 8s – 1m 45s

Because you know, that’s just how they work. Nobody wants to be the first to say it and then as soon as somebody says it is like this just Avalanche. I don’t like them either. It’s just you know who can dislike him the most so, you know, that’s that’s how you get to be edgy you without actually being edgy because you didn’t want to say it for 5-10 years. Anyways, I don’t like this so much. However, I got to admit there’s something kind of nice and extra motivating about these games. You’ve already got the aspect if I really really really really really want to win and see this team in the Super Bowl is sort of like

1m 46s – 2m 46s

It hasn’t even sunk in that it’s a possibility and it’s not because I’m sure I believe thoroughly that we’re going to lose. It’s just it’s just like that that just doesn’t happen Packers don’t go to the Superbowl this certainly don’t win the Superbowl and it’s super rare and probably nod and I forget who it was and I apologize but somebody gave the visual in the Facebook group. Make sure you join the Facebook group that he could Envision Aaron Rodgers and Aries and Aries next to each other hosting the trophy and it was like one of those things that visual just made it very real and it’s like, oh my goodness this could really happen. I mean this could really actually happen but then you take the excitement of winning and the desire to win and add to it how much distain I’m developing for everybody because everybody dislikes the Packers and some of it is fine, right? You got the sports books and everything else. They’re saying the Packers have the lowest chance depending on where you look of winning a Super Bowl get it. You’ve got some stew.

2m 46s – 3m 46s

Mystic people just kind of laying out some facts, but for the most part you have very biased people that have never liked the Packers and love the fact that Aaron Rodgers is not the favorite anymore and take every opportunity. They can to remind everybody which largely is wrongly but because this is what the statistic Community now believes remind everybody that Aaron Rodgers is no longer the goat. He’s no longer even any good. He’s averaged this team is a fraud. They just can’t stop and every opportunity they get to say it they say it so that’s starting to make me angry to the point that I want them to be wrong almost as bad as I just want the Packers to win because the level of distain I have for them. Although I get it because that’s what being a fan of a different team is about. It’s still a little bit annoying. So I want to address some of that and again just some other little bit of this little bit of that. But anyways I said,

3m 46s – 4m 46s

Make sure you jump in the pack and a podcast Facebook group. That’s where the party’s at all day everyday we party and we talked about the Packers. That’s just what we do also apparently get into very serious discussions about needles in San Francisco, you know, some people tend to rant kind of like I tend to reims I can’t hate him for it. It’s it’s my life to also make sure you jump in the back of my podcast Facebook page. Thank you to all of you have sent messages. Obviously. You’ve not been getting hardly any responses. I have to go in and start working on all those responses and develop or develope responses to all the stuff you been saying to build the ultimate supercomputer. I don’t think that’s possible but it’s you know, I got all year figure this thing out. I don’t care. What else do I have to do? I pick one thing that I want to really work on this year on top of all the stuff that I’m doing and that’s one of the things I want to build. So leave me alone. What’s your New Year’s resolution push-ups get on my face. I’m building a supercomputer man Skynet Sun before the T-1000 was

4m 46s – 5m 46s

Schwarzenegger guy before the Schwarzenegger guy was the Packer. Chad Bock. You didn’t catch that and Terminator. Did you wait till Terminator 8, they’ll tell you how it all begins. If you would like to support the fact that podcast I would strongly encourage you to check out patreon.com pack underscore daddy. There is a link in the description somewhere in the link of links. You can support the show for as little as a dollar a month. It means a lot more to me than it does to you is in terms of you know, it’s more positive for me than its negative for you. I understand podcast for free, but I’m hoping that you like the value that I bring enough that you think it would be worth it to you to offer up at least a buck a month. Please consider it. I’ve had a very very good response up over $50. Which is awesome. As long as you don’t consider the fact that there are literally thousands of people that listen every day that it’s slightly less. Awesome. But still it’s good. It’s a good start and don’t forget there will be a giveaway ever.

5m 46s – 6m 29s

Single month, all you have to do is make a small donation. $1 is one entry 5 dollars is 5 entries etcetera etcetera. If you just want to win the thing straight out Super Bowl tickets are to do it. I think that’ll increase your odds substantially. So there you go something about otherwise a five-star iTunes review Stitcher review and make sure you are listening to the Packers iPod cat because the podcast broadcast on another podcast that has not called the Packers at podcast. If you don’t want to switch over that’s fine. I still get all the accounts for it. I just would like iTunes in the rest to realize that people actually do listen to my podcast. So if you wouldn’t mind subscribing to mine as well that be greatly appreciated, why don’t we take a break cuz I got a lot to talk about not a lot of time to talk about it.

6m 30s – 7m 30s

Living with chronic pain is kind of a nightmare. It’s more than just discomfort. It can affect your whole life. I know there are a lot of people listening to this podcast. I probably have some type of pain that has prevented them from relaxing sleeping stopping them from exercising perhaps been ongoing for weeks. And now it has an improved with any of the treatments. They’ve tried enter omax Health. If you’re looking to get rid of nagging muscle and joint pain immediately while providing long lasting recovery, then you need to try the natural breakthrough pain relief solution. Cryofreeze CBD roll-on developed Biomax Health. This non-prescription triple-action pain relief roll on is specifically formulated to block pain receptors reduce inflammation and provide muscle and joint flexibility. The best part is this 100% natural CBD powered remedy works his magic within 10 minutes of application and relief lasts up to eight hours much longer than over-the-counter products as a bonus to you. All Max health is

7m 30s – 7m 53s

Offering my listeners 20% off a full bottle of cryo freeze CBD pain relief roll-on plus free shipping this discount also applies for any product site wine. Just go to omax health.com today enter promo code over time. That’s o m a x health.com and enter promo code overtime to get 20% off cryofreeze and site-wide.

7m 54s – 8m 53s

And once you’re feeling better, you don’t want to just feel better sitting on the couch. You especially don’t want to just feel better out shoveling your driveway making the pain come right on back. How about instead? We spend our February and March following our favorite baseball teams to Arizona for the Cactus League spring training. I can’t imagine a better way to spend February then out in 75 degree weather watching some baseball eating a couple hot dog hanging out with your significant other your body’s your kids and after the game getting some autographs and then buzzing over to one of the great craft breweries some great outdoor scenery and Adventures like hiking biking Jeep tours hot air balloon skydiving jet ski horseback riding and then after you’re completely famished go out and get some great Arizona cuisine cuisine as Gordon Ramsay kind of says, you know the British don’t speak too good scene. They try, you know,

8m 54s – 9m 54s

Make sure you plan your spring training get away at visit arizona.com spring training. Alright so much to do so little time. What are we talkin about? How about the fact that Luke Kuechly just retired yesterday. Can you imagine being a Carolina Panthers fan? You had a good team then it all kind of went sideways. We know what that’s like, it happened last couple years, right? Suddenly things just aren’t good anymore. We were Super Bowl Contender and then we were trash quarterbacks banged up but we’re starting over now. We get this guy rule in and it’s like he’s going to take over and he’s going to transform everything and then you find out the LSU who just won the National Championship the passing game coordinator. The guy that’s worked with Joe burrow land in the rest of that LSU crew to help them to win. The national championship is going to join Rule and help us rule the NFC South took me a second there and it you just feeling good and you know it you’re probably going to get a new quarterback. Maybe you like it. Maybe you don’t but

9m 54s – 10m 54s

It’s just it’s a new era, right? Cuz it this is a good team. We just got some work to do. We got to fix up this defense a little bit. But may we got the best running back in football? We’re going to get an electrifying quarterback in here. Take a guy like Herbert would be great somebody that doesn’t really need to be benched. But as long as he has a good Supporting Cast which which the Panthers kind of do right, they’ve got wide receivers kind of for the first time that got a great running back decent enough offensive line, like you can plug him in and just make some stuff happen and it will just focus on the defense and just hammer away at it. We’re going to be good man. We got Kuechly hang a hammer in this thing ain’t turn it down in the day that you get the news. You got a new offensive coordinator. The guy that has been like the guy on your team. One of the better linebackers of all time decides that at 28 years old with two years left on his contract. He’s going to hang it up. That’s wild by the way. This is not insignificant news to the Green Bay Packers because the Green Bay Packers are playing the Carolina Panthers at home in 2020 the Panthers

10m 54s – 11m 54s

Who had a abysmally horrible defense this past year are now without Luke Kuechly now. Who knows what’s going to happen to you know, after Gronk left, obviously, there was a total speculation that he’s going to come back. Maybe this is just stay a moment, you know as far as lacking Clarity, maybe it’s it’s injury-related and he’s he’s just really worried who knows but things change Stihl 28. He still healthy maybe is not the same Luke Kuechly was last year. He said in his goodbye message. He’s just not that same guy and he doesn’t want to play if you can’t play up to that level anymore, but maybe I mean Jared Veldheer retired now, he’s back helping us win a Superbowl but as it stands the Packers now are planning to go up against the Carolina Panthers at home without Luke Kuechly. I think the sooner we get that team the bed because the new coach and all that stuff that’s going to take some time to kind of develop that team build that locker room build up the new scheme in the new system. And I you you get those teams early enough before they really

11m 54s – 12m 54s

Get into the groove if they ever do but you catch them before they get into a Groove and that’s that’s going to work to our benefit. I also wanted to comment on something in just a little bit old news, but it’s interesting apparently and this is reported via Tony Pauline. I actually was I found this while I was doing some draft homework trying to get caught up on all the latest news and rumors and things for the draft and came across some news that apparently prior to the Vikings beat in the New Orleans Saints and then understand Tony Pauline is legit. He called stefanski to the Browns like in the same article prior to in Minnesota and the Saints game. She called it but decided the Browns number one candidate was stefanski. Anyways, he had said based on an inside source. The Minnesota Vikings are kind of tired of of Zimmer now, I’m shocked by this because the outside perspective by everybody not in Minnesota is that Zimmer’s a phenomenal code? He’s done a great job obviously is Zimmer defense is a very tough defense in the defense is what makes that team great, obviously.

12m 54s – 13m 54s

Cousins did a good job and all this other stuff, but the Zimmer defense is what makes the Minnesota Vikings in Minnesota Vikings, but in Pauline’s words Zimmer has worn out his welcome in Minnesota. Here’s the interesting thing. The report was if they lose to the New Orleans Saints Zimmer’s done and stefanski will get hired as the head coach so bad because I believe the source I do think that the ownership wants to move on from Zimmer. However, they did beat New Orleans. I can’t imagine one game like that is really going to make that big of a difference. Although I mean, of course it’s a big win but to be that good of a team to get in the playoffs and to still say if you lose to a basically the number one team arguably in the NFL then you’re no good. And it’s that’s kind of a ridiculous statement. It sounds to me like something you’d say when you kind of just want him to go but the other kind of unfortunate thing is for the Vikings. Anyway, you also lost your intended replace.

13m 54s – 14m 54s

So now what are you do you you not only beat the Saints but the guy that you were going to replace dimmer with supposedly is gone. So you don’t have a replacement. No, forget that forget. The fact that I think this whole thing is a ridiculous conversation. I don’t know what’s going on inside the organization. Maybe Zimmer has become an insufferable jerk. He feels like he runs things, you know, whatever. I don’t know. I’m just telling you what the standpoint of ownership is and in for the Vikings fans listening. I want to clarify something. I understand that. The owner has said we 100% are bringing back our GM and our head coach. We have no intention of moving up. Please understand the eagle said the same thing about two of their coaches and fired them both the same day within 24 hours. I think it was like the quarterback coach something else. I don’t know but there was a question. Are you bringing it back? You should absolutely they’re coming back within 24 hours. They were both fired. So when you get put on the spot, you know, you don’t waver on a Zimmer coming back of course is come.

14m 54s – 15m 47s

Oh, yes, definitely. You tell the media. Yes, and then you go do your job or you try to throw out some it mean that there’s really just two ways to handle it. You don’t care what the media thinks and you just say yes because it’s better for your your franchise because you don’t want to waiver on it and then keep Zimmer was Zimmer, you know in the back of his mind taking these guys are trying to get rid of me. So you just say, of course, that’s our guy or the other way to handle it is just kind of, you know, not answer the question in which case everybody fully understands. You are answering the question. So you think you’re being cute but you’re answering the question and say yes, we’re trying to get rid of them by wavering on it don’t hurt her. I should have asked you to come Sizzla Floor coming back next year. What do you think the answer you think is going to be? Well, you know we go to the media asks you I think the right thing to do is say yes, of course dumb question and then if you want to fire me fire if the media wants to call you on it just to cares.

15m 47s – 16m 47s

He made you look dumb not the other way around cuz guess what you’re going to keep asking me questions as though I’m an authority and I want to keep telling me the answers that I want to give you whether they’re true or not. Cuz I could not care any less about you and your little articles. I’ve got a team to run a multi-billion-dollar franchise to run in a little Minnesota blog doesn’t mean anything to me and I’m not going to hurt my franchise answering your ridiculously dumb questions. I don’t care about you. So again, this is just to say I fully understand he said they’re they’re intending to keep them at this point. That might be their only option i d d, you know, I don’t know maybe they like some of the other candidates that are out there be enemy McDaniels. The Ravens offensive coordinator is getting a ton of love and could be a very good option. You also have to figure that. You might be looking to get a new quarterback in the near future. So maybe you want to get it off. I think that I think this is all ridiculous. I I think this is a defensive team of talk about identity in the past and the weird thing but certain teams

16m 47s – 17m 47s

This is just have identities that last through the decades the Vikings trying to go off at doesn’t work. They win when there are defensive team same is true for the Chicago Bears. They have tried over and over and over and over with guys like Trestman and everything else trying to get an elite offense and it just never works in. The one time that they’re legitimate team is when despite the fact that they’re still trying to go off ends Vic fangio building Elite defense and there you have it this Minnesota Vikings team lives and dies with their defense the purple people eaters on through the line This is a defensive franchise. They are a smash you in the mouth kind of a team and I just I don’t I don’t know. I don’t know why they would do it, but I wanted to bring it up because it is interesting and it definitely feels like this team has kind of been flogged. It’s kind of like Luke Kuechly Jumping Ship when everything’s kind of influx. Anyway, I’ve been kind of on the fence. Anyways, you’re going to fire my code. You’re getting rid of my quarterback. Probably maybe you’re bringing in all these new people. I just you know,

17m 47s – 18m 47s

The franchise is kind of in the in the in the train in the dirt. Whatever I can think of a word out of here and you know, the Vikings are kind of going through that’s enough that they’re a bad team. But you lose your offense of coordinator your defensive coordinator your assistant GM you might look at him know, you know what since we’re getting poached and we’re losing everything. I’ve been kind of want to make some changes. Anyways, let’s just kind of make some changes until I all I’m saying is if I had to guess the dimmers going to stay if for no other reason than he met that one qualification in that they beat the Saints and the replacement is currently coaching the Browns. However, keep that in the back your mind if the Vikings don’t have a good year next year. He’s 100% gone and it’s also possible that if they could find a good enough candidate they may move on. Anyways, I mean maybe before they go out and find it offensive coordinator. Maybe they go out and find somebody and offensive coordinator to coach the team and you know, there’s a lot of good defensive coordinators floating out there. They don’t get as many looks as had head coaching jobs as offensive coordinators do so. There’s some really quality guys that are just floating. So anyways something to keep an eye on.

18m 47s – 19m 47s

Something else that was brought up kind of a long that same vein Max in the Facebook group said he is a Packer fan from Minnesota and that there is growing speculation that Stefon Diggs is permanently unhappy on an overall average Vikings roster. Now though the point of his question was as a possible we end up getting them in the in the main response at he got was that there’s no way the Vikings are going to allow him to go to the Packers. That’s probably true. However, let’s also keep in mind. He doesn’t have to come to Green Bay in order for him to benefit us if the Vikings really do it again, they’re kind of in this middle grow their kind of in a spot where if they wanted to kind of tear things down they could or they can just try to hang on just replace the vacancies go into the draft get some more quality guys and come back and Hammer it again next year. I mean there there’s still a pretty good team. Although there is that question of the ticking Time Bomb might these guys are getting a year older and a year older and all our guys that are older or under these really long contract. I don’t know maybe we do need to start doing something a little bit more dramatic a little bit more.

19m 47s – 20m 47s

Secure Kendricks the odds of him playing at this level again or basically zero, he’s never play that at that high of a level ever in his career. He’s arguably the top linebacker in all football and I’ve been dogging the guy for 4 since forever saying he’s overrated Kendrick sandbach. You certainly was November 8th of this year and you know Everson Griffen and daneel Hunter very very good. But, you know the age catches up with everybody. These guys are both in or push in 32. Neil’s obviously a lot younger. He’s got a lot of tread left but Everson Griffen. I know you got them locked up long-term, but that doesn’t mean you got a quality player locked up long-term. He’s 32 just cuz you sign them through 35 doesn’t mean you’re freezing his age. So I don’t know. I mean if it’s true that they are considering moving on from their head coach. It’s certainly true that they could be willing to move on from there. They’re wide receiver, especially if he is kind of a head case and you feel as though he’s a negative in the locker room. I don’t know that he is I mean sometimes loud guys like that are positive other teammates really like him and I think her cousin says very much cuz he’s always screaming at cousin but so is

20m 47s – 21m 47s

The receiver feelings constantly getting into space 2 so you have to cut him if that’s if you’re just worried about him his Kirk Cousins feelings and Kirk Cousins is probably gonna be gone pretty soon. Anyway, so what are you worried about that for? Anyways, that’s enough about the Vikings. But I guess here’s to hoping you know, if the offseason has been really crazy since what like 2017 when it just really went nuts and we’ve seen teams do things that you know people that have been watching football for a long time. You just think that would never happen. That’s to correct. Those things have been happening the last few years, but some of the biggest stars just randomly end up on different teams. So it’ll be interesting to watch the Vikings in the kind of gauge and see what their strategy is which for a long time has been. Let’s just retain everybody at some point. You got to assume that they’re going to try to blow it up a little bit. We’ll see what happens little bit of minor Packers news parent leave the Packers had to work out with CFL running back to Shawn Amos. No clue. If there’s any relation to Adrian Amos. However, he is a r was a Calgary stampeder and a teammate of Reggie begelton another guy that we had.

21m 47s – 22m 47s

I believe sign to a reserve Futures deal. So we’ll see what happens when it comes to a PC still doing a lot of work and it clearly they’ve been doing some work in the CFL as well. And you know, I’m not going to not get a job goop the man knows what he’s doing. So we’ll see how the last thing I want to bring up before we take a break and get into some other more. I don’t know what college visit philosophical type thing. There was a point brought up by no other than OJ Simpson that Aaron Rodgers probably still has a chip on his shoulder against the 49ers leaving aside the part where that was a very long time ago because you probably still have some kind of a chip something that OJ seems to be forgetting is that he probably has a chip had a ship on the shoulder on November 24th, when we lost 30728 probably had a chip on his shoulder when we lost of the 49ers 23 to 20 back in 2014 as well as losing twice to the 49ers the year before

22m 47s – 23m 47s

So I’m not so sure that that really holds a lot of water I bring it up just because it’s entirely possible that there’s some pack offense of her then go. Oh, yeah, he was snubbed therefore. He’s angry therefore he wants revenge do this is the third time we face it for San Francisco in the playoffs with Aaron Rodger We Roll for 2. So yeah, maybe but I’m not putting a lot on that. However, he was the one thing I will say to try to get a little bit to that bigger than Aaron Rodgers is the general theme that although the Packers haven’t been perfect. They win when it matters, I would focus little bit more on that to be honest the fact that yes, we did lose to them earlier in the regular season, but when it really matters do we have the guys on this team come up and play a good football game and again to win when it matters that’s been there Mo all year. So be very Packers ask of them to have an ugly series with the 49ers but ultimately win when it matters and to once again prove everybody wrong something they’ve been doing literally all

23m 47s – 24m 47s

Let’s take a break and then I want to get in to see how much of this other stuff we can get at. I want to start with the the first thing first. That is this Eric eager guy who is a vitriolic anti Packers Vikings fan who is trying to put on his analytics hat as he tries to dismantle the Green Bay Packers and the shocking thing is that although other people are doing a fairly good job of it. Just just laying out historical fact and letting it lie there and letting Packer fans. Overreacting look like The Crazy Ones this Eric dude is just out of his mind. So I want to kind of walk through this a little bit to matter simply means that the offense is what is most predictive and actually this game was a perfect example of that. So it’s pretty clear. He’s trying to defend something right? He’s he’s he’s not walking something back but he got called out for something dumb and he’s trying to defend it. First of all, what in the world are you talking about? Trying to defend apparently some comment he made about defense.

24m 47s – 25m 47s

Doesn’t matter which is dumb as the guy that has in a self-proclaimed way written the book on it. That’s just not true offense is more predictive of success. That’s not true. Remember what my little project was quarterback versus defense, which really is how they started off. That’s what I call it ends up being sort of what the predictive odds of winning based on your statistical points where you rank in terms of points and yards on offense and a defendant in a mathematical sense looking at every single Super Bowl winner throughout all of Super Bowl history. I looked at what the percentage odds are based on all these things and end points against which is defensive points allowed is by far the most predictive in terms of actually winning a Super Bowl 30% 30% of all Super Bowl winners have the number one overall defense. That’s just number one.

25m 47s – 26m 46s

I’ve been through all this stuff before he’s just wrong about this defense is more predictive of success know if you’re talking about maybe some other things. I I don’t know what is initial claim was but he’s absolutely wrong having a great offense is going to help you win the Superbowl but having a better defense is much more predictive and then for him to go on and say end this game was a great example of that. Excuse me, the Packers won because of their offense against the Seattle defense. Is that the claim that you’re making that’s absurd It song about the Packers five sacks Russell Wilson had a better day than Aaron Rodgers did statistically it was Aaron who it was Russell Wilson versus the Packers defense. That was the story of this game. This was not an example of that. If you go back over history the last time they played in the playoffs the Seahawks want and it was Seattle’s defense against the Packers offense. This was Seattle’s offense against the Packers defense in both cases defense came out on top two hilarious thing though. Is that his co-host

26m 47s – 27m 47s

Yeah, that’s right. And then goes on to explain how the Packers defense was really good and that the Seattle offense was really good what this game was? Absolutely. I mean we were we were told the entire in a sort of going into the game that Green Bay was more Stout up front in Seattle and they were I mean, they think pressured Wilson more than 50% of his dropbacks. But ultimately Russell Wilson and the Seahawks have gained the Packers. They made a lot of plays Wilson at 106 passer rating when pressured their yards per play We’re actually higher than their historical, you know average for the season. I think they were saying that offense is more important than defense and this game shows in the co-host goes. Yeah, that’s true. Seattle’s offense was incredible. And in fact, they played better on offense then they have all year, but the Packers defense was better. Maybe they just think Seattle one. I don’t know.

27m 47s – 28m 13s

I’m a little confused because the initial statement for mr. Eric was defense doesn’t matter the whole Cohoes comes out and says, yes, he knows offense was great Packers defense was great Packers won and to look at his face as he just sits there and watch it happen to him is hilarious Cindy goes down and tries to do damage control and explain how Green Bay’s defense actually isn’t that good? And that in fact, I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know listen to what this guy is trying to do here.

28m 14s – 28m 48s

Upoint were talking before this which is like Willie Turner Turner drops a stone cold light up in past. That’s not an example of Green Bay’s defense being great, right? It’s an example of offense dictating what happens in this game great offense is going to win out right? That’s just what happened and that offense is also going to make your defense look good, right? So Russell Wilson in this game his fatal flaw was that he held onto the ball a long time and he did not feel the pressure and Aaron Rodgers. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop stop.

28m 49s – 29m 49s

Wow, this is this is how I knew he was a Vikings fan. This is how I absolutely knew because this makes no sense Point number one offense dictates to defense. So the point you’re making is basically the the way that I’m going to be right about this is that I’m going to say offense is more important the defense and if you point out to me a good defense I’m going to say that it wasn’t actually good defense was just bad offense, which you can do in every case, except your one example is ridiculous. You gave one example of a guy dropping a pass how many other dropped passes were there? And and what are the five sacks come into play and how about the dropped interception? Can we just hand him? Can we hand Kevin King the ball since we’re just going to make stuff up. Let me ask you another question explain to me how the Tennessee Titans beat the number one ranked offense in football. How did that happen? It don’t even give me this garbage about Lamar didn’t play. Well, he threw some of the most pinpoint perfect passes I’ve ever seen in my life. He was running for his life. That is a very good offense that try to dictate a with but loss.

29m 49s – 30m 35s

To a better defense because the old adage that defense wins championships has kind of been true for a while. If you don’t have a good defense, you don’t have yourself a Super Bowl the last time a team won. The didn’t have a top-10 defense was the 2013 Ravens and I tell you right now with 100% certainty that was a top-10 defense by the time they hit the playoffs and Ray Lewis said guys. I just need one more the last time a team won Super Bowl without a top-10 defense or offense. 2016 Bronco that offense was not good at all. The quarterback was ranked 39th about the number 4 ranked scoring defense in the number one defense in terms of yarded and know their quarterback didn’t get better in the postseason. He was the same guy that couldn’t hardly do any of it. At least physically this it this is such.

30m 36s – 31m 36s

Ridiculous nonsense trying to say that despite the fact that it was actually the Packers defense that one and then the Seahawks offense that lost another what’s a good offense force a good defense and the defense with the way you twist. This is by actually saying the the Seahawks offense wasn’t good. The guy just laid out the statistics. It was a very good offensive performance and Russell Wilson played out of his mind and a know he held on the ball too long. I wonder why genius you think maybe it’s cuz nobody was open because you know defense, what are you talkin about? Why are you doing this the reputation of Pro Football Focus is going in the tank. Every time you open your mouth PFF is all about Advanced analytics. It’s about statistics is supposed to be about facts right that the even her grading scale is based on a very strict criteria of factual information and you got this guy flapping his gums sing the dumbest crap I’ve ever heard of my life offense dictates to defense a good defense.

31m 36s – 32m 36s

Is nothing more than a bad offense. What are you talkin about? This these words have never been spoken in the history of the universe ever accept by this Vikings fan who forgets that he’s on on an actual broadcast and his hatred of the Packers has so consumed him that he can’t even form a coherent thought he is. So Lowe’s to give the Packers any credit that he’s essentially saying that the Seahawks just their offense just fell apart. The five sacks just kind of happened Russell Wilson held onto the ball because he just felt like it not because nobody was open but because he felt like it despite the fact we saw the replays in the coverage and nobody was open and there was nowhere to go with the ball for not going to give Packers any credit this this this is exactly the problem and I don’t I don’t think we’re going to have time to get to my other thing. Maybe we’ll talk about it tomorrow. I don’t have a problem with the analytics Community. But but this is no different than than the end in the political realm there statistics and there is evidence for just about anything that you want to prove and when you get people with enough

32m 36s – 33m 36s

They’ll try to use all this stuff to basically paint the picture that just isn’t so and this is not even a coherent looking picture. This isn’t even using statistics or anyting. This is just a guy that’s lost his mind either. He’s lost his mind. He’s never had one. I don’t know. I don’t know who this guy is. I’ve never heard him speak before but this is dumb and it’s not just cuz he’s talking about the pack of this is the end of this is a stance that he’s taking that offense is more important the defense an example of a defense beating out the offense. It’s because the offense didn’t do what it’s supposed to do that’s called circular logic my friend. That’s not how this works. That’s not how anything works. If you’re listening to this and you want I can let you borrow my thirteen-year-old daughters introduction to logic book. It’ll maybe help you work through this a little bit. She’s done with that when she’s moved on to intermediate logic so you can borrow the the intro to logic book if you if you want it seems like you you might need it but the but the but that’s what that’s what gets me so frustrated about this because there are people that are just being honest.

33m 36s – 34m 36s

I don’t have any problem with Vegas giving better odds the 49ers again. I trust Vegas because Vegas is just all they care about is money. I trust a greedy capitalist because they just care about money there a biased they’re not willing to to to lose money to get their way of Vikings fan working at a casino setting a betting line is not going to move the line to sort of hurt the Packers fans feeling because they just care about money and so I can trust them doesn’t mean they’re right but they’re going to take all the available information which is the other thing I wanted to talk about but we don’t have time is in a how much how much of the stuff that we can see accounts for the whole picture. That’s sort of a another question that will try to talk about tomorrow because some of the analytics people seem to think that all the information we have is all the information we need and my ability to take the information and paint the correct picture is is 100% accurate. So I am all-knowing and that’s that’s when you get to be obnoxious. I love analytics. I love none.

34m 36s – 35m 36s

The love playing with stuff because it provides a little bit of context. It paints a picture but the actual Beauty and football I’ll give you the end of the story tomorrow. I’ll just ruin it is the fact that we don’t know anyting the fact that there isn’t a supercomputer that’s going to tell us who wins the Super Bowl because there will never be a super computer that can tell us that because there is an unknown quantity to the human element of football that will always remain unknown that at that can’t ever be no that is the part about football that makes football special statistics will never be able to touch that part of football ever until some of these people are just wildly speaking out of turn and I’m to the point now that anytime I see it. I’m just going to try to come swing it if you want to say you think the 49ers and I went I don’t care that’s fine. You should think that if I wasn’t a pack of Five Nights at 49ers going to win and I don’t need the other game. I don’t know. How do I run things Chiefs? I’m kind of leaning Titans a little bit same way. I was leaning Titans against the Raven cuz you have these wildly good offense is going up against a team that has a rat that is just a solidly, you know steady team.

35m 36s – 36m 36s

You don’t like I go for the study Team every time it was steady Patriots looking team versus team that let a team score 24 points in a quarter and then came back and scored like 30 or three touchdowns in 3 minutes. That is the epitome of volatility. Anyways, that’s neither here nor there point is I have no problem with Packer fans saying I think we’re going to lose that I’ve gotten so many messages saying I’m not feeling good about this. I don’t think we’re going to win that doesn’t bother me letters are a good team. Even if they weren’t there’s no guarantees in football, which is another thing that the analytics Community doesn’t want to look at. They look at the fact that the Packers almost lost the Lions save their for their garbage. Why because your supercomputer said if they were good, they would have blown him out of the water. Your supercomputer is stupid and I hate the fact that I am at war with the analytics Community because I feel like these are my people. I’m the one that’s been taking the the arrows for PFF for 2 year haven’t talked about how we can go back up in this and this guy is not the embodiment of what PFF is. I don’t know who he is. I don’t know why he’s there. I don’t know who liked who gave him a microphone.

36m 36s – 37m 36s

Speaking anything factual or even using what is going on with Twitter do this is ridiculous the stuff that’s trending is just get out of here. I got to get off here stuff popping up like why is what anyways, so there’s a lot more I want to talk about but, you know time constraints and whatnot. I know. It’s only 36 minutes in but I got to go to work speaking of a couple things everyone. Don’t forget patreon if everybody listening decides to give me a dollar a month. I can start working on my sales pitch to my wife to quit my job. It won’t work, but I’ll start I’ll try secondly on a slightly more serious note, although I would seriously appreciate that regardless of what happens with the Green Bay Packers in a few weeks. The season is over. Let me encourage you because there’s a lot more listeners now than there have been over the past year because of how much popularity with the Packers and their the playoffs and all that. Let me encourage you to please stick around after the season is over if you need a couple days to recoup after a loss if there is a loss, that’s fine. But but please come back.

37m 36s – 38m 36s

Because I’ll tell you what the offseason is when things get fun with the draft coming up with free agency coming up. This this is one of my favorite times of the year. In fact that the Packers won in the playoffs. This would already be my favorite time of the year. It’s the time when we get to dream as Packer fans about what can be what might be to look at the prospects to look at the free agents. And then once we get them to talk about what they might be able to do for the offseason is the time to dream about what could be it’s also that the best time to go back and really digging deep into what the Packers were. Not just what they can be but what they really were in to theorize and that’s what I love the most the regular season is not my favorite time to podcast it’s easy because everything is laid out for you, but it almost kind of gets monotonous is the same thing at the same schedule as it’s just but you got to hit on these points so I can’t get away from it. Even on a daily podcast you get your routines in your ritual. I like the offseason the offseason is when the fun happen, so, please let me encourage you to at least stick around for

38m 36s – 39m 12s

Weaker for 2 weeks just to see if if I’m lying to you and if you don’t love it, and if you’re not getting some inside, so you never thought you would and if you’re not enjoying the offseason by all means going to the football hibernation, and we’ll we’ll see you again in August, but I promise you this offseason going to be a lot of fun. I’m still planning on doing daily. I did it daily last year didn’t think I could but I made it and I fully intend to do it again. So that’s my pan. I’d love to see the numbers increase in the offseason instead of decrease. Anyways, you folks have ourselves a fantastic day. It’s us against the world, and that’s exactly how it needs to be. I will talk to you tomorrow. Have a good one. Bye. Bye.

0 notes

evolutionsvoid · 7 years ago

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Tales of carnivorous plants are one of the favorite staples used by adventurers and story tellers. When it comes to fictional stories or tall tales, one of the go-to's for making a strange place seem even more alien and dangerous is to toss in flesh-eating plants. If one were to believe every story they heard around the campfires and bar tables, then apparently 90% of our world is coated in bloodthirsty grass and meat-loving trees. Now I am not saying that such creatures do not exist. They totally do. I am just saying that their numbers and prevalence has been blown completely out of proportion. Yes, Ya'De'Vorrs are plant monsters that eat people, but they are very few and far between. Lost Souls do exist, but they are only found in certain, warped forests. Out in the jungles, there are several species of plants that feed upon blood and flesh, but they usually feed upon small primates and reptiles, rather than machete-wielding explorers. The tales of carnivorous plants are not things I am fed up with. I am not trying to tear them down or mock them. Instead, I am trying to point out how tame they are. Compared to the vicious ways of a Ya'De'Vorr, being digested by some plant isn't so bad. Dare you even compare it to a Giant Bloodsbane, and you would find being eaten to be a very pleasant way to go. At least that gives you the mercy of death... Giant Bloodsbane are just as rare in the wild as a Ya'De'Vorr. Their existence is scattered across the globe, their numbers few and far between. Even with such a low population, there are still too many Giant Bloodsbane alive today. They are an extremely cruel and deadly species, with their sheer existence causing unspeakable torture and pain. If I could pick one species to be wiped off this planet, the Giant Bloodsbane would be my first pick.

Giant Bloodsbane lives up to its name in every way. The "giant" part is easy to see, as these creatures can grow to heights of almost twenty feet. It may be hard to see them stand at their max size, as they often bend and squirm on their flexible stems, undulating like serpents. Their main stems can grow as thick as a human torso, and their tendrils match the thickness of an arm. Each is coated in sharp, stiff hairs, which irritate flesh upon contact. They have multiple appendage types, split between upper and lower limbs. The upper limbs come out from the body in fours, and the buds at the ends spit forth three tendrils. All three are coated in the pointy hairs, but only one ends in a sharp spine. The lower appendages only sprout two, which end in wide, leafy hands. Embedded in these hand-like leaves are its primary eyes, which possess the best vision and are used to observe its surroundings. Its other eyes can be found in its flowery top, spinning wildly in their blossoms. These eyes are very primitive, as they can only recognize light and dark. These are can act as an early warning system, detecting movement so that the true eyes can zero in on potential threats. With these primitive eyes covering its flower head, it is impossible to sneak up on a Bloodsbane without them noticing. This helps protect themselves from ambushes and attacks, but that is not its main purpose. The reason they have so many eyes, is so that they may detect any victim that comes within reach. Giant Bloodsbane lives up to the "blood" part, as it is their primary food source. They drain blood from victims through their sharp tipped tendrils, often wrapping them in a viney embrace so they cannot escape. The problem, though, is that they are rooted into the ground. Though they are quite flexible and can have an insane reach, they cannot pull themselves from the earth. This gives them a very limited hunting range, if they were to rely solely on themselves. This leads to the real problem, as the Bloodsbane chooses to "recruit" others to help solve this dilemma. Much like ivy and other oily plants, a Giant Bloodsbane is coated cap to root in a toxic oil. Every leaf and hair is dripping with it, allowing them to spread it with even the slightest touch. This oil has no effect on plant life. A dryad could swim in the stuff without the slightest issue. Beings of flesh, though, are a different story. Here is why they are called "Bloodsbane. Any beast or man of flesh and meat is highly vulnerable to these toxic oils. The slightest contact with it causes severe burns and blisters on the affected area. Itchiness and severe irritation is a constant, causing victims to scratch their own skin off in desperation. As an oil, this secretion is difficult to get rid of and can last on surfaces for days without deterioration. It can soak into clothes and cling onto any surface with ease. Touching anything that the Bloodsbane has coated will instantly cause these burns and pain. These injuries and torturous effects last for days, even weeks. Getting the oil in your eyes leads to instant blindness. That is not even mentioning its effects in the sun. When flesh that is touched by the oil is exposed to the sun, the pain becomes maddening. The blistering will become even worse, and your whole body will feel like its on fire. The mere touch of sunlight can send victims into spasms, and cause them to fear the day like a vampire. This is what happens when you just get a few drops on your body. Here is what happens when the Bloodsbane chooses to go further.... Hungry for blood and victims, the Bloodsbane will lash out at any who enter its range. Its long tendrils will seize prey and cover them in its oily embrace. These victims may be slightly drained for blood, but the Bloodsbane wishes to keep them alive. It will slather them head to toe in oil and keep them trapped in its vines. It will then simply wait for the transformation to take place. When a flesh-based creature is exposed to massive quantities of this oil, a horrible transformation occurs. Giant, fluid filled blisters will erupt from the skin, and burning pain will lance through every vein. The eyes will be blinded and swollen over, and the victim's tongue will grow to vile proportions. Their mind will remain intact, but they will be in constant agony. The oil now runs through their body, building up and festering within the gross boils. Their entire bodies will now react with the sun, causing excruciating pain when ever they are exposed to the light. At times, the transformation is so painful that it can kill victims outright. Those who survive, though, will now be forced to serve the Bloodsbane. This servitude is not done by mental domination or mind control. These victims serve the Bloodsbane in hopes of gaining the slightest bit of relief. When a victim is transformed, the Bloodsbane will use them as an enslaved servant. These poor souls are referred to as the "Scorched," as their bodies constantly feel as if they are burning within. When one becomes a Scorched, the voice of the Bloodsbane enters their mind. This voice will not seize control of their brain, but will simply tell the victim what the deal is. The Bloodsbane is hungry and the Scorched is in pain. Both of them can come up with a solution. If the Scorched can bring food to the Bloodsbane, than the master will give it relief from the constant agony. If the Scorched does not comply, than they simply get to exist in perpetual agony. At this point, the Scorched obviously agrees to work for the Bloodsbane, as the pain is more than they can withstand. With that, the Bloodsbane will send them out into the world, looking for victims to drag back to the master plant. Due to their reaction to light, the Scorched must travel at night. Though blind, their sense of smell and hearing remain, and are often amplified. They seek fresh blood, and will go after any fleshy being that can feed their master. Due to constant pain, their adrenaline is always on max, allowing them to have surprising strength. To aid in bringing down prey is their swollen tongues. These fleshy appandages are now bursting with spiny hairs, which inject the toxic oil. The oil they flush into victims is drawn from the supply that grows within the Scorched. So when a Scorched snares a victim with their tongue, their pain lessens as the burning oil siphons away. This insidious mechanism causes Scorched to happily seek out prey, as it means that their pain will subside for a few wonderful moments. To prevent the Scorched from taking advantage of this, the hairs on their tongue only activate when pressed up against warm, living flesh. They must catch living victims for their pain to subside, and they must bring them to their master if the agony is to stop for a brief moment. When prey is subdued by the agonizing oil and their great strength, the Scorched will drag them back to the Giant Bloodsbane. There, the Bloodsbane will take the victim and completely drain them of blood. As long as they have servants already working for them, there is no need to eat lightly. The drained husk will be dropped amongst their roots, destined to add to the pile of bones that grow at its base. After the meal is enjoyed, the Scorched gets its reward. A sharpened tendril of the Bloodsbane will puncture their bodies and drain away great quantities of burning oil. At the same time, it will feed in a numbing fluid that will free the Scorched from pain for a few hours. This fluid also has euphoric properties that fill the Scorched with wonderful feelings of pleasure and joy. Drugged out of their minds and pain, the Scorched will slump down in a nice dark place and drift away in ecstasy. Their clouded minds too absorbed in the pleasure to even try and escape from the Bloodsbane. In time, the effects will wear off and the pain will return. Now in agony and hooked on the addictive fluid, the Scorched will now be even more desperate to find prey and experience that pleasure again. This creates a sick cycle, where the victims happily serve this cruel plant, all for a bit of rest from the constant pain. When transformed, very few are capable of escaping the Bloodsbane's grasp. The burning and blisters are permanent, and they are forever blind. Hooked on the fluid and driven by pain, most Scorched will be killed by victims who fight back, or be hunted down by knights and guards. While this may seem cruel, it is honestly the best course of action. There is no cure for their agony, and there is no way to heal their burnt bodies. The relief of death is what they need, even if their maddened minds do not realize it. Until the end, they will fight and hunt, desperate for that pleasure and pain free trip the Bloodsbane will send them on. For the few who have escaped, they have simply just been hooked up to a constant stream of pain-relieving drugs. The endless flow is needed to combat the oil, which will leave the Scorched in a vegetative state. So even when free, they are left as nothing more than mindless husks, forever slumbering in a medical coma. Some have been able to speak a few words, and that has given some knowledge on the Bloodsbane. According to those who have been able to speak, the Giant Bloodsbane speaks with "a voice of mother," giving comfort and gentle warnings for those who serve under them. Apparently the voice of the Bloodsbane remains in their head at all times, always urging them to try harder and to succeed. They give promises of relief and pleasure, and never seem to insult or belittle. If one tries to stray from the path, the upset Bloodsbane will simply warn them of the consequences and suggest that they "think more clearly." From what is gathered, Giant Bloodsbane all speak with a female's voice, a soothing, motherly tone that gives the illusion of comfort in their agonizing lives. Due to their horrible ways and cruel methods, Giant Bloodsbane are targets for eradication by practically every species. Even dryads seek their destruction, and they are often the ones enlisted to bring them down. Even though we are immune to their oils, Bloodsbanes are not to be taken lightly. Their tendrils and stalks can move at lightening speeds, allowing them to whip an opponent so hard and fast that they can decapitate them as if using a blade. Crushing embraces are often used, and every Scorched in their command is brought into the fight. Despite the warriors' good intentions, the Scorched will fight them to the death. The Bloodsbane offers the only relief they know, and they will not let it disappear so easily. The last thing to mention about the Giant Bloodsbane is their odd behavior when it comes to reproduction. That is to say that they don't seem to think about reproduction at all. Bloodsbane are not sterile, and can indeed bear seed, but they seem oblivious to the whole system. They do not seem to pollinate intentionally, and the seeds they bear are not spread by their hand. Their leafy hands can release pollen, but this seemingly occurs at random and not by the will of the Bloodsbane. Their hands also contain the pores that can absorb pollen and use it to grow a seed. Bloodsbane seem to be able to pollinate with any plant, which allows them to bear seed without even realizing it. If they simply touch a plant that is in its reproductive phase, they can gain the materials needed to make seed. The seed is formed within their roots, and it will remain there forever, as the Bloodsbane does not even seem to be aware of its existence. The only reason Bloodsbane even exist is because the Scorched aid them. Some curious Scorched may find the seeds within the roots and take them away. Perhaps they believe the Bloodsbane will reward them for spreading their kind, or perhaps it is some invasive command in their brain that forces them to comply. Regardless, the Scorched are the only reason these seeds are spread and the Giant Bloodsbane live on. It is saddening, really. How those who are victims to this horrible species are the sole reason why these monsters even exist. Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian -------------------------------------------------------------------- A nasty plant monster based on the Giant Hogweed. It is literally a plant that causes burns that react in sunlight. It is practically a vampire maker!

#bloodsbane #plant monster #monster #creature #giant hogweed #giant #vampire

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