arzarecord

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simple pleasures of living. Tepoztlán, 15.01.24

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it takes time to recover from self-doubt. it takes courage to give into self-compassion. it takes a lot of love to heal yourself inside out. i am only now on my way to a better me, but i can see how i am still fragile in my thinking. how i involuntarily collapse before their wrong convictions, how i am easily seduced by their different realities and how my center still deviates when i feel their G-forces pulling me away from what i know to be true. all i know, is i can't give in. every day i'll grow a little bit stronger to face what i've been running from, because i no longer fear what's coming. i may be fragile, but i have found strong peace this year within the physical boundaries that make me. and i know whatever is in the making now, is here to stay.

Brussels, 26.07.24

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today i pretty much feel like this cloud. Tepoztlán, 06.02.24

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i'm in this park in Porto, Portugal that a local recommended me. the people look really cool and kind of alternative. the city view is incredible. the river down below flowing away calmly. the sunset disappears behind a big dome on the right hill. i can see what brings people here, but that doesn't interest me. why do people stay here ? there's a lot of urban details, very small things, that make the public spaces here useful to the people. sometimes it's steps, other times the greenery, or simply a bended fence so people can sit outside. this might be the most European activity ; just chilling outside. no need for a fancy dinner or big party when you can eat bread and drink wine outside in a park. why ? it's the people. you don't know what kind of crazy theories, interesting stories and profound connections can be made here until it happens to you. then suddenly this bunch of people sitting, laying and standing outside together in their individuality, coming together in their conversations, creating masterpieces of the mind that no one will ever know or hear about, because it only made sense in that moment, talking nonsense through your cigarette to strangers that became friends right there and then after downing your 3rd beer. but if you do know what i'm talking about this whole happening should touch something in your heart. because it's in these interactions that our people and their minds are shaped and formed. and this, this might be the soul of Europe ; beautiful cities make beautiful people. Porto, 03.07.24

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i've been reading about the universe, but the more i read, the more i feel in need of a God. Tepoztlán, 23.01.24

[arzarecord]

"You Were" by Field Guide. i remember dancing home to this song after kissing a girl one night. who knew, who would have ever guessed, in less than a year i would be blasting this song through my headphones with a smile in Alamo Square underneath a cloudless blue blue sky. San Francisco, 20.03.24

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bathing on the second floor of nature.

Tepoztlán, 12.09.23

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are you ever just with people and look around like, yes. this is what life's about. this is what friendship is. this is the good life that i was promised at birth. this is proof that we are part of something more, something bigger than ourselves. just laughing your ass off. endless talks. comfortable silence. and always in the same flow, just vibes. it is a lot greater than what i could have imagined on my own. i will try and pursue the crazy ideas in my head more. they lead to beautiful places.

Dallas, 14.03.24

[arzarecord]

i never cared for politics, but i do care about this world i live in. so what do we do now ?

Tepoztlán, 12.01.24

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me tardé mucho en entender porque las cosas pasan como pasan. como darle sentido a lo bueno y a lo malo. la vida me parecía una constelación de coincidencias aleatorias. pero algo en mí siempre se rehusó a esa realidad, así que creé mí propria verdad. en las profundidades de mi corazón y dentro de los límites de mi pensar, me rete a mi misma. y lentamente una alma solitaria se convirtió en una parte del mundo. para amar. para servir. para brillar. desde que era pequeña soñaba de ángeles iluminados que decidían quedarse en la tierra, porque ellos sabían que podían hacer más bien aquí que en el cielo. hoy sé que esos ángeles existen. tal vez no tienen alas para volar, pero tienen sonrisas radiantes y miradas que sanan. son ángeles de carné y hueso que vienen a enseñarnos a seguir el amor. esos ángeles son personas a quienes les sobra bondad en el corazón. si algún día te topas con uno, dile hola de mi parte.

Mexico City, 25.01.24

[arzarecord]

the mountains in all their glory. and clouds. so many endless clouds. in beauty. on fire. with energy. what do you see ?

Tepoztlán, 08.01.24

[arzarecord]

it's 8 am in NYC. the city of people in bathrobes and jaywalkers. rush hour here is like a speed walking contest against strangers. it's early morning and everyone seems stressed, but i'm chilling. being tired is a trend here, because the takeaway coffee cup in hand is seen on every corner. the people are rude. they all look like they don't want to be here and are in need of a summer vacation. i awkwardly make eye contact with people going the opposite way. a guy pushes me over. chivalry is really dead, i think to myself. cigarette smoke in my face. this city smells of the vices it induces. somewhere on 40th Street and Broadway, while i'm keeping track in my head of the speed walking race against that man in the grey coat, i walk blindly passed a homeless guy. only by the time billboard screens are screaming at me as i cross 7th Avenue, the image fully loads. that guy really had two amputated legs and was sitting in a wheelchair. the look on his face said nothing but defeat. i was already two blocks past him, but my mind raced through all the things i could give him. if i had time i'd buy him breakfast, i told myself. but i am on my way to Ithaca and the bus will leave me if i turn around. as i am walking down 8th Avenue to the station, i look around me, all these people with that absent minded look in their tired eyes. the only thing that shows we're all human, are the little clouds that form around our noses when we breathe out on this cold winter morning. good intentions aren't enough, i say to myself. and i did nothing. i am just like everyone else. this big big city isn't made for small small people. it's disheartening ways leave me with a bitter aftertaste on this cold winter morning in NYC.

New York City, 26.02.24

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do you remember the moon and the stars ? remember how they only shined for me and you ? Delft, 05.04.23

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i might have actually lost my mind, but i don't care. the freedom i feel right now is worth LIFE itself. i am going to live in trains. i am going to meet strangers. i am just gonna be the definition of a reckless nomad, and it will be wonderful. life is all about the things i am willing to do for the things i want to see. so here we go, an all round great American rail road trip.. Westport, 22.02.24

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I am kind of like these mountains. I am always asleep, and forever restless, because my curiosity for Life grows, like the shifting earth underneath my feet, that lifts me up to the heavens' gates.

Tepoztlán, 11.06.22

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Mexico has a lot of darkness, a lot of grey aspects that are not pretty, but it also has every other color you can possibly imagine. and if you only slightly focus on these colors, you'll realize they're the brightest colors you have ever seen. today i find myself surrounded on the other side of the world and i am mad happy. Mexico is far from perfect, but it has become a place where i have a sense of home. and a home, just like love, is never perfect, but nonetheless a refuge for the soul. Tepoztlán, 29.01.24

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you and i, we're like lovers intertwined. we're like souls dancing through the sky. oh darling, there's nothing quite like you and i.

Mexico City, 06.05.24