#if youre lucky someone else will have fixated on the same person and then you can stall a bit with their stuff

[foxgirlplushie]

How to cope with lesbian feelings for every arknights woman

Time sensitive question

I got bad news the only way I've found to cope is creating fan content

[jweekgoji]

Will you write for some Yandere!Orion Pax x reader? 👉👈

Yandere!Orion Pax/Reader [TFO/hcs]

tw: yandere themes, gn!cybertronian!reader, very brief mention of murder/death, mostly soft!yandere!Orion, overprotective, dependent behavior. word count: ~1000. a/n: i love making headcanons.

Orion is an obsessive, clingy and overprotective yandere that's for sure.

Orion is focused on you 24/7 in his mind, every time he's going out with someone else, he will constantly think of you. He's not having a fixation on you, like D-16 would with his darling, more like a thoughtful «I wonder if they will like it if I give it to them» or «if I COULD transform, I would be carrying them around everywhere!». His thoughts are mostly innocent, even though they often lead him to cause even more trouble. He will seek out a thousand risky stunts to do just to impress you, and he doesn't really care if Darkwing will beat him up because of it.

It is no secret that Orion is clingy. I already described it in other posts, and I will ramble about it again, but that silly guy does NOT know how to keep his servos to himself. Yandere Orion just can't comprehend the fact that you may not like it. You can find it weird, rude or just not tactile, and if he finds out, that's a pure torture. At first, he might find it funny and not take it seriously, you're probably in that «edgy, no nonsense and independent» phase some bots have, so he finds it his own personal goal to warm you up to him.

If you're somehow still adamant about it, I can see him trying to restrain himself from just squishing you against his frame the second he sees you in the same room with him. Cogless tiny Orion will be a sweetheart, so he always finds a way to satisfy his own needs without crossing the line. One day it's a simple touch on your shoulder, then he will try to hold your servo if lucky, and maaaaybe even give you a tiny peck on the cheek as soon as you look away from him. Touch is his love language!

Yandere cogged Orion/Optimus is a huge sweetheart but when he's tired and emotionally drained, the only thing he wants is to wrap his arms around you and hold you close to himself. Stay like that and don't say a word, it's not like you have a chance to escape.

Orion doesn't look like a person who thinks about his own safety. You will watch him running around Iacon from another trouble he got himself into, and he will even drag D-16 with him. Even though in his mind, it's for a better cause, If you're really close and dear to him, he also wants you to be the part of this adventure because he desires the better future for everyone and for both of you specifically. Together.

As Orion, still young, idealistic and naive bot, I never see him taking away your freedom. If you wish to tag along with him on the race, even though it's the most dangerous thing ever, especially with both of you not having any t-cogs...he will gladly accept it! As yandere Orion always cares about your well-being, but it's never the boring «I will lock you up just so you will always be safe» type of overprotectiveness. He neglects his own well-being to the point where he will gladly lose an arm or a leg if it means protecting you, and he doesn't care that he might die because of it.

You should constantly remind him to check Ratchet at least for once, but he will jokingly dismiss it since he's more concerned about that tiny dent on your frame. How did you get it? Do you need him helping you to polish? Orion already drags you to medic, meanwhile he is standing there holding broken metal pieces of his own body and like “that's just a scratch!”.

We all saw how Orion got protective over Elita once she was fired by Darkwing. His first thoughts are "yeah, I will NOT let that slide" even though he is two times smaller than their supervisor. Orion is a fighter for justice, for his darling he's a true gentleman, or...tries to be at least.

He's not that type of yandere who will murder someone if they hurt you, because his own beliefs are strong and unclouded. Yes, in the heat of battle, when it's either your life or the life of the enemy, he will never hesitate to end them, but even then he feels guilty about it (especially if we talk about young Orion/Optimus). If he actually ends up hurting someone, he will be devastated, and might as well take a long time to process it all.

How did it happen? How could he let this happen? He fights for freedom, for everyone, no matter if they're enemy or not, they all deserve at least a one chance for redemption. There will be a time when Orion blames himself for it, it corrupts his spark slowly, to the point where he thinks of himself as unworthy of you.

As much as Orion is an inspiring, he's self-conscious. The more not-so-happy events you go through together, the more he becomes dependent on you. You're a part of Orion's life, he can't shine brightly without his little satellite.

Yandere!Orion would constantly need you by his side. It doesn't matter where he is going, as long as he is with you. During his lowest moments, he wants you to reassure him and give him that comfort that will keep him at bay. He didn't mean to hurt anyone, but that worry and spark of rage blinded him, leaving his own servos dirty in the stranger's energon.

Young Orion is one of the softest yanderes to deal with. He still has to learn a lot about his own place in this world, his motivation, and his strength. Everything felt so easy when you were just two cogless bots, but the more time passes, the harder it is to deal with more complex feelings. Jealousy, disappointment, and regret. At the end of the day, you're the only person to keep him sane and not to collapse from the responsibilities on his shoulders. The problem is, it is too hard to get rid of that dependence.

[grimoireofhayley]

Of Friends and Horror

Stu Macher x Fem!Reader x Billy Loomis

WARNINGS: Graphic content, eventual Smut (MINORS DNI), Language, Talks of SA, Cheating, Obsessiveness, Gore, 18+ Content, Stalking, Possessiveness, Dirty talk

Word Count: 1.3k

Tag List: @ev3ningrain @nerdytif @fanfic-enjoyer123

All chapter links! 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

OF&H Masterlist

Chapter 4

“Hold on a minute, Sid..” Billy tossed his sweater to the side, removing it from his lap, standing up.

“Why were you at her house?” Sidney fumed, stomping her feet. “Usually, I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but you lied to me, Billy. Why couldn’t you have just been honest from the get-go?” She tapped her sneaker-covered foot off the ground, waiting for an answer from her boyfriend.

“I--I don’t know, I mean, I figured you’d react like this if I did tell you…” He expressed.

You ‘tsk’d’, standing up. “Sid, it isn’t a big deal, he was coming to me for advic--” You began, but was quickly shh’d by your not-so-close friend, Sidney.

“You.. You have no room to talk.” She screeched, her cheeks flaring, as she began to dig out of her bag, taking out a red leather journal, labeled, ‘(Y/n) <3’ with a black heart stitched into the cover. “You were seeing Steve behind Brooke’s back, you slept with him on her birthday of all days.. And you kept going back for more! How do I know you and Billy weren’t doing the same?”

Your eyes widened, ‘Of course… That’s how she knew about you ‘dating’ Steve.’

“It’s.. It’s not like that with Billy!” You yelled, tears threatening to spill and Sidney whipped your journal at your chest before it fell to the ground with a thud.

“Of course it isn’t.. Why would he want someone like you, anyways?” She snarled.

You ignored her harsh words, but you couldn’t help but agree with her, why would he want someone like you anyways?

“Wh-Where did you even get this?” You stuttered, hurt engulfing your voice. “Why would you even read it?” You sniffled. “This shit is personal…” At this rate, tears were streaming down your face, you were a hot-agitated mess.

“You left it in English, you’re lucky I was the one who found it and not Brooke..” She groaned, narrowing her brows, “I wasn’t planning on reading it, but I was curious… It’s a good thing I did though…” She snipped, folding her arms over one another, “You’re such a whore, you know that?” Venom laced her words, you can tell she was holding that in for a while.

“C’mon, Sidney, don’t be like that.” Stu spoke, trying to break the catfight, though he was secretly enjoying it. He placed a hand on Tatum’s shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze, hinting for her to get up in there, hoping that some sick-and-twisted porno would break out; having you be the main girl he’d watch.

Something about you being all flustered and crying had his head elsewhere, he couldn’t help but think how your pretty-little face would look in all sorts of positions. Whether it be your face pressed into a pillow, or his hand wrapped around your neck, limiting your oxygen. How you’d most likely cry and scream because everything felt so good, how dumbified you’d be after he was finished with you.

You’d be a sopping-sputtering mess.

Stu quickly placed his hand on his crotch, feeling his jeans tightening around his bulge.

“Fuck…” He mumbled, hoping no one heard as he slyly adjusted himself so no one saw his erection.

“This is my cue to leave…” Randy laughed awkwardly, looking at the fight that’s breaking out in front of him, this caused Stu to fixate his thoughts on something else.

Stu looked at Randy as his classmate started to head towards the school. Stu prayed that his buddy didn’t see the position that he was in.

“Mine, too…” Tatum mumbled, gripping onto Stu’s arm, “Let’s go, Babe…”

Stu nodded, “Uh, yeah, yeah, let’s go.”

You angrily waved bye to your three friends, knowing very well that your argument was making them uncomfortable.

You looked at Sidney, your personality switching from crybaby to angry.

Billy glanced at the two of you, watching the scene unfold, he didn’t like how Sidney was treating you; he hated it per say, but he couldn’t do much about it, not yet at least…

“If you cared to even read it all since you already started, it would’ve said that Billy came over for advice, to see why you wouldn’t touch him, Sidney, he loves you and he came to his closest friend asking for help with what to do.” You heaved, “But no, you read the worst pages I’ve written about myself. Why start snooping if you weren’t going to finish it at all?” You spat, bending over to pick up your journal. “I regret what I did behind Brooke’s back, this is something I have to deal with for the rest of my life, and you know what? I can live with that.” Sidney grimaced at the tone of your voice, “If anyone’s a whore, though, look at what your mother did.” Her eyes widened at the sudden insult, “She had her legs open for every married man in town, and look where it got her…” You started to breathe heavily, “It got her killed.” You snickered, wiping your eyes, freeing them from any tears. You were pleased with what you said, “I am a saint compared to what she did.” You hugged your journal close, “Maybe if you weren’t such a prude, he wouldn’t be sneaking into another girls’ window!”

“You..You, bitch!” Sidney screamed, tears running down her own face. She went to slap you, but Billy caught her wrist. He didn’t say anything, but nodded at you.

Sidney whined, clenching her fist, ripping her arm away from Billy, and stormed off, not looking back.

Billy walked towards you, leaning into your ear, “Was that necessary?” He chortled, taking light in the situation.

The deepness of his voice sent shivers down your spine and coated your arms in goosebumps. Your breath hitched as you gulped down the ball that seemed to form in your throat. The hair on your arms stood as he slowly trailed his index finger up and down your arm, his touch was warm, but oddly cold, he enjoyed seeing you tremble at the slightest touch he’d give. Of course he knew about your ‘little’ crush on him, Sidney wasn’t the only one who read that journal, but him, too. Though, she didn’t read as far as he did. Thankfully because that would’ve ruined the plan.

He knew about Steve as well, why do you think he had killed him? He killed him for you, but do you need to know it, right away? No, definitely not. That’s set for a later date. He and Stu also killed Casey for you, they didn’t like how she was treating you during school, they had to end it together. However, neither of them knew that the other had feelings for you at the same time, that their motivation to end their late classmates' lives was because of you.

As far as they both know, they killed Casey for tormenting you, but also because Stu held a grudge against her. They killed Steve because he was taking advantage of you, but was also a bystander. He was able to fuck you senseless during the late hours of the night, but didn’t have the balls to step in when his girlfriend was being a douche? That didn’t sit well with either of them, plus, they were jealous Steve had you first.

He looked over your face, loving how sun-kissed your skin was. His breath lingered on the slope of your neck as he twirled a strand of your (H/c) hair.

It earned him a slight whimper from you, quickly making you blush.

“I’ll see you in class, okay?” He smiled, his pearly whites glinting. He enjoyed seeing you like this, he might just pay you a visit tonight.

You bit your lip, nodding. “Uh-huh…”

<- Previous Next ->

[a-cartoon-lover]

Mr. Puzzles x reader who was a friend/neighbor in his childhood

A/N: Hi! This is my first x reader fanfic! Maybe there are some mistranslations, and it's based on my dream, also wanted to write down it before forget it all so it's kinda messy. Hope you'll enjoy!

___________________________________

"Where... is this place...?"

Before you realized it, you were standing at the entrance of what seemed to be an amusement park.

Your memory was in disarray. You were sure you had been lying in bed, falling into a deep sleep at home.

Yet, here you were, standing in front of a massive arched entrance.

"Welcome to Puzzle Park!"

A voice suddenly rang out beside your ear. Startled, you turned around to see a man standing there.

He gazed at you with shining eyes and a wide smile.

It seemed he was the manager of this park. The man stepped closer and extended his right hand toward you.

"You're the luckiest person in the world, no doubt about it. And why? Because, of course... you're the very first guest of my Puzzle Park, Mr. Puzzles' Puzzle Park!"

He spoke with pride. You felt a wave of suspicion toward this strange man. What was he talking about? Where was this place? And why were you here?

As these questions flooded your mind without answers, Mr. Puzzles seemed to notice your unease and gave you a gentle smile.

There was no malice in his smile; he simply appeared to be welcoming you. But at the same time, something about it felt unsettling.

"Puzzle... Park?"

You took a step back in confusion. Where was this place, and why were you here? You wanted to know the answers, but the words got stuck in your throat.

"Yes, Puzzle Park! And you have been chosen!"

He placed a hand on your shoulder, still smiling.

As if being dragged, you tried to shake off his hand, but your strength failed. Your body wouldn’t listen, and you were swept along by his pace.

Inside the park, everything was colorful, like a dream. Yet somewhere within, a sense of discomfort and fear tightened your chest.

"And the best part is, you get a personal tour from me! You're really lucky!"

Mr. Puzzles continued speaking enthusiastically.

"So, where should we start the tour—oh! Do you like carousels? Or maybe shooting games? Or perhaps—"

"I’m sorry, but... I have to go. And, I was just about to leave, so—"

You managed to squeeze out the words, resisting as much as you could to interrupt him. But he continued, seemingly ignoring you, his voice still cheerful.

"Ah, don’t be like that—there’s also go-karts and a mirror house!"

Hearing his words, your fear intensified.

Why was he so insistent? Why was he so fixated on you?

Questions swirled in your mind, but no answers surfaced—only more confusion.

"Perhaps you could let someone else take my place—"

"N-No, at least... at least visit the arcade!?"

His voice suddenly took on a desperate tone.

"I’m still working on it... could you at least give me your thoughts? The arcade is right next to the exit! Just a quick stop, okay???"

He grabbed your shoulders, and the strength of his grip was impossible to resist. Fear paralyzed you, and you had no choice but to nod.

His desperation hinted at something deeper. Part of you wanted to know the reason behind it, but another part was afraid to find out.

With mixed feelings, you had no choice but to follow him.

"...Only the arcade," you muttered.

To your surprise, he didn’t follow you, and you headed toward the arcade corner alone. The space was vast, lined with old game machines.

Among them, one purple machine caught your eye.

You didn’t know what kind of game it was, but for some reason, you felt drawn to it, and found yourself walking toward it naturally.

As soon as you touched the machine, you couldn’t pull away. It felt as though a powerful magnet was pulling you in, your body being absorbed into the machine.

In your hazy consciousness, the machine's form gradually shifted into that of Mr. Puzzles.

Before you knew it, your hands were wrapped around his head. The scene around you transformed into what seemed like a dim, underground space.

He stared at you with an intense gaze. Fear gripped you, rendering you motionless. He gently placed his hands on your cheeks, gazing at you lovingly.

"You'll stay with me, forever..."

His distorted voice echoed in your ears. Your body started to feel numb, and your mind began to cloud. His voice seeped into your consciousness, overwhelming you.

You couldn’t move a single finger, as if you were paralyzed.

He pulled you closer, embracing you softly. His embrace felt filled with affection, and his expression softened.

But there was still something ominous lurking beneath the surface.

___________________________________

Thank you for reading! Also there's bonus. After captchered, dream was still continue so here it is. It's suggestive maybe!

Bonus:

When you opened your eyes again, you were in a dimly lit castle-like space. There was no one else around—just Mr. Puzzles and you. You were lying in his lap as he gently stroked your head.

"What does he want…" You thought, but the body remained frozen.

Smiling with satisfaction, he stopped stroking, for some reason, placed his index finger in your mouth, making you suck it to the base. Had no idea what he was trying to do, but you sensed he was checking something.

---

"Does he think I'm a cat?" You wondered to yourself. As that thought crossed your mind, he began taking selfies with you while petting your head. His expression was full of smugness, as if he was completely sure you were under his control.

And all you could do was stay there, next to him, with no escape in sight.

[a-student-out-of-time]

The Imposters

(Part 1)

We can confirm definitively that Misako-san has indeed given birth before. And we can also confirm that, indeed, the person whom we met was her daughter. Kana-chan had AB blood, while Misako-san has AB.

Please, now that we know she was my daughter, is there anything else you can confirm about us?

Misako-san...I'm very sorry...but you need to see this. It's...well...

*Harumi hands her the photo from Hiroshima*

...Ko...Kotetsu....Kana....a-and....that's....I recognize that face.

It's...It's me! But then, why do I look like this...?

...Okay, I see why you were all confused now. That girl is a dead ringer for Kana! But...how?!

__________________________________________________

Remember when I said I'd affected four currently living people? Well, that much was true.

Buuut, the total number was actually five.

What...What did you do?!

Well, to put my plan in motion, I had to...recruit some actors.

________________________________________________

Their real names are Eimi Misako and Eimi Kana, and we also found the remains of an adult man in a public park. They're a solid match for Eimi Kotetsu, the last member of this family.

They went missing about 8-10 months ago, which matches up with the time frame the real Ise Kana has been out of the country.

Shirogane had been planning the long con for this one. She hit the area they were living with her algae, and completely manufactured new identities for them.

And for extra credibility, she tied those fake memories with ones she made up for me and Tenmei.

___________________________________________________

You'd be amazed how much shit is available about celebrities when you go searching! I had everything I needed to create a perfect facsimile of Ise Kana! One so good that nobody on the island even realized!

But I needed someone who had a decent resemblance to her, since I'm not a plastic surgeon. Turns out I got pretty lucky and found someone who was nearly identical.

But of course, her backstory needed a little spicing up here and there.

__________________________________________________

Seiyuus like Ise Kana are basically idols. There's no way someone like her would've been living in poverty or had any reason to go to that stupid island.

Which has to mean Shirogane was in on all that too, right?!

But...But Kana and I took a DNA test! It proved we're half-siblings!

I don't mean to scare you, but if she didn't just fake all those tests on the island...then she may have copied your family's DNA and fed into her bone marrow. It would've made her a chimera, but good enough to fool us enough not to look too much deeper.

And guess what? Now that I had time to sit down and check, the only copies of your DNA I could find were in her blood. Everything else matches Misako-san's DNA, and I'm willing to bet any DNA I can pull out of Kotetsu-san's bones will be the other half.

But...But why? Why do all this?! How could I have...u-unless...

_______________________________________________

What the hell else did you do to them?!

Well, in addition to some new memories for her parents and some new identities for our actresses, I had to give Chiaki-chan a little...nudge. A mild adjustment, one that nobody would've noticed.

All she really needed was some...motivation, I suppose you could call it?

It's so easy to love and hate your parents at the same time, isn't it?

And suddenly, boom! She has a beloved long-lost sister she can bond with! Someone with her own tragic past, someone who needs to rescued and who she can forge a lifelong bond with...only to be cut down in her prime!

Storm was a perfect patsy, wasn't he? You were all so fixated on him, you never thought too hard about the inconsistencies in all this until you had to.

[tea-and-finalfantasy]

In regards to the weird backlash over Benn Beckman's live action casting--I'm sorry you expected a character at 38-48 to look like anything else but a legit older man. I'm sorry they cast a 39 year old in the role of an older man, first seen at age 38

In terms of looks, the trivia section of the wiki mentions that Oda said that Benn looks like a mouse. The man doesn't even have eyebrows

Like we all think he's hot, I think he's hot, he knows he's hot with that playboy attitude apparently--but please take a second to look at this beloved older man with no eyebrows and undereye creases and come back to me. Tell me you think those are subjectively sexy features and that we're not all fixated on someone who's yeah, normal, but a little strange

Yes I think he's genuinely beautiful for those reasons (among other things) but he's just some guy and I'm glad we get to see him as just some guy. He's incredibly smart and sympathetic and protective but like most of Shanks' crew, they look like normal people. I'm sorry you wanted all supermodels for the crew who camps out on an island the majority of the time. Realistically he'd smell like tobacco and alcohol, even just from proximity, even if he's absolutely one of the crew that actually showers everyday. Yeah Yasopp and Shanks are banging and Lucky Roux too--although apparently a lot of you haven't matured to the point where you realize fat people are hot--but they're all normal people with Benn being the oldest by far. If we were dealing with post-timeskip Benn here, you mean to tell me you think a 50 year old man would look any other way? Them hiring a 39 year old is fucking kind if someone ten years away from 50 is this upsetting to you

Like the one thing I'd fix is the wig styling. That's it. I feel like it needs to fit just a smidge better but this isn't RuPaul's Drag Race--I don't expect the wigs of all things to be top tier. We saw the Wado Ichimonji bend (which I'm also not taking seriously/I think it's so fucking funny) and people are irritated that Taz Skylar is more muscular as Sanji than Mackenyu as Zoro--as if Zoro wasn't a fucking beanstalk of a man in part one?

I get wanting to be picky about things, especially your faves, but they are never going to adhere to everything everyone could possibly dream of for a fancast. Hell, they don't even draw the characters the same in the manga anymore, with certain things (skin tones) being more important than other, more preferential things (hair color, type--even if those changes irritate me too)

You don't have to like the casting but for fuck's sake do you want an apology from fat people? Older people? He's not even 40! Get over yourselves. I'm thrilled that so much of this cast just looks like themselves. That they look like regular fucking people and that we can designate the entire budget to Chuu and Arlong and Buggy instead.

Plus Mihawk is gorgeous all the time and I think this is accentuated by like. Yeah the cast is hot and cute and good looking but they're also normal people. He gets to be this otherworldly beauty amongst good looking people you'd see everyday because he's this striking, chilling, strict, and beautiful presence around just, everyone else.

But if you think for a fucking second I'm personally not singing my fucking praises when a character like Benn Beckman has a round stomach like that my God like I don't know what the rest of you are doing wasting your time wishing he had abs, for fuck's sake he's on the crew of borderline cirrhosis, I think ALL of them should have beer bellies. Thank fuck for Lucky Roux and Benn Beckman in the same scene bc that was a blessing, thank fuck for fat people

Do you know how hot it'd be if someone as big as Crocodile was fat? How strange it'd genuinely be if he isn't? He's fucking massive, what do you want him to weigh, 170lbs? He couldn't support the fat titties y'all give him with that low of a weight

Do you know how hot Alvida is with her round face and double chin? For Benn Beckman of all characters to have a stomach, for Lucky Roux to be fat and endearing and cute and able to be written as an actual character and not like, a beach ball of a man, is the closest thing we're gonna get to fat people being allowed to exist normally in One Piece

And the story isn't fucking about them! One Piece has over 1000 episodes and Netflix is going to cancel this inevitably as they do with every show to avoid paying their actors and writers--we literally do not have time to give Benn more than a background role anyways. What's it matter if you don't like how he looks in the two scenes they're gonna give him

Lastly look at his IMDB pic and tell me he's not handsome

The point isn't to only respect people if they're attractive but like. He's really good looking anyways! Y'all are letting your perfect perception of Benn Beckman to overwhelm the actual performance being done, and of a background character no less. You guys are letting a cheap wig poison you into calling a real life person ugly for daring to play the role of a background character as instructed

This fatphobia and ageism (of a fucking, 39 year old man like he's pushing 100) combo is literally the mirror image of every anime fan power-scaling on Twitter, the "this is how Kaido and Big Mom will win" dudes preoccupied with their own poorly written fantasies rather than seeing what a clearly-written, the-good-guys-will-prevail story is plainly saying to the audience

You are becoming no different than the pathetic dudes (who aren't strong, who aren't doing fight choreo, who may even have the same amount of fat but who think they're immune to the same hatred for it--who could be doing all these things but still are worthless pieces of shit because they're spiteful and have no personalities or interests beyond that) saying he's not tough enough, that he should be stronger and more fit--in a show where everyone's either fit or ugly, in a show that showed him to be average size--real skinny even in the manga, as with everyone else at that point! from luffy to zoro to sanji, they all were beanpoles--in a world where no one can be normal about other people of any weight they perceive to be "fat," regardless of if that's the case or not

This is supposed to be for fun and being so irrevocably rattled by the little things is detracting from your enjoyment of something intended to deviate from the source media and that in some ways (in regards to the variety of people being casted/in regards to Luffy being Brazilian in Oda's words) is closer to the source media than we think

You don't have to have Liebenberg as your Beckman choice. You don't have to like the trimmed down storyline, even in the face of needing to cut for time no matter what. It's fine to be the type of person who wants adaptations to be as close to the source media as possible and I've felt that way about certain media too! I dislike when what I fixate on isn't the main focus of a new creation! But directing any dissatisfaction towards this dude doing the job he was hired for because you think he's ugly is ridiculous

[capseycartwright]

my job is one of the most important parts of my life and who i am and i find that really hard to articulate, sometimes - but i got promoted recently and this word vomit is a result. and i sort of wanted to share that because i stumbled into the dream job right after university and i want to share that joy, u know? anyway. that’s that.

it’s never good to focus on the lasts, i know - you should live in the moment, enjoy these wonderful minutes before they turn into memories and a life you lived and not the life you live - but i have always been a deeply nostalgic person, and sometimes the nostalgia hits before the past is even the past.

and maybe it’s not so bad, to think of the lasts - maybe acknowledging it was a last makes you savour the moment -

(the last class we shared, 22 and on the brink of the rest of our lives. the last day i walked out through the gates of university and ended one of the the greatest adventures of my life. the last day i walked out of my internship, getting in that elevator, and feeling, somehow, deep in the depths of my soul, that the job i would be starting the very next day – my first ‘real’ job - was going to be something special.)

i had a last today -

a last so overwhelming in its wonder that it knocked the air out of my lungs and i had to take a minute (or three) to savour every second of it - the claps and the congratulations and the way you beamed at me from across the room like i was something to be proud of.

i realised, later, that was the last time my boss would get to do that for me – announce a promotion to that particular room full of people, the last time she’ll get to make that announcement with me as part of this team. there are no more promotions left, you see – and so the next announcement she’ll make is that i’m leaving this job – on to bigger, brighter things, though right now, i can’t imagine a life any bigger or brighter than the one i live now.

it was a strange last – knowing that i started here as barely more than an intern and have now managed to get the most senior role i will ever have in this job. i texted you – the yous who took me under their wing when i started here as a fresh faced twenty-three year old with so much to learn – and it was a strange first, amongst all the lasts: the first time i got a promotion without you two in the team, the people who i started less than a month after, the two people who i got to know this job, this company, this world with, the people who offered me advice and believed in me more than i ever believed in myself.

it’s the first time i have gotten a promotion without you both in the room – and in taking this role, i am filling a seat that you chaired so brilliantly for years. although it was a first, in many ways, it felt like a last – because the team i started this job with doesn’t exist anymore, all of you moved on to bigger, brighter things, and the reality of life is that my time here will come to an end too –

and maybe that’s why i am so fixated on this last, because i know in my heart it’s the first of many lasts to come here.

i don’t know how many people get lucky enough to have their first ‘real’ job be the dream, but this job has been the dream – the people, the work, the things i have learned, the crazy experiences i swear i could write a book on some day. in university i dreamed of a life like this – doing a job that gave me purpose, in the midst of a crazy, exciting world of politics and policy, and for the last few years, i have been living that dream.

and one day soon –

my dream life will belong to someone else.

the same way that my life in the netherlands became someone elses, this dream life i have built will one day be someone elses – because if i have learned anything, in my short years of adulthood, it’s that dreams evolve, and change, and grow bigger than you could have ever imagined, and to achieve your dreams, you have to leave your old dreams behind – over, and over, and over, a constant cycle of achievement that leads to craving bigger and better and different.

so – maybe it’s not good to focus on the lasts, but i can’t help it: because this place has made me who i am, and it has given me friends i will carry with me for the rest of my life, and sometimes it feels like this place might be gearing up to give me a love i have craved for so long, and i can’t help but savour every moment as if it were the last i will ever get to have here –

because the last day will come, and i will have lived so many of these moments – events and coffees and smiles exchanged across the boardroom, and stupid jokes that make me laugh until i cry, and presentations and speeches and things i never believed myself capable of until i walked into this office, more years ago than i care to admit to, and met a group of people who would change my life – and not have known it was the last.

and i have known, from the first moment i walked through the doors of this place, wearing a grey blazer so new it felt stiff, that this team would be the hardest goodbye of my life when the day comes, and i sometimes wonder if i savour every moment as much as i can, the goodbye will never come because i will be sitting, forever, in a moment i know will become a treasured memory – surrounded by some of my favourite people in the world as they congratulate me on achieving another of my dreams, the claps and congratulations a soundtrack i keep stored away for the days i start to wonder if i am enough: because if this job has taught me anything, it is that i am not only enough, i am more than i could ever dream of. 

[lv-iceprince]

@ermbabyel

hey there! you're my lucky last ship for the time being! thank you so much for being so patient it really means a lot to me. i want to say a bit more but it's midnight rn and i really just want to sleep. but i hope you like your ship. as always it was a pleasure doing it for you :)

You know those moments where something is so blatantly obvious that you start questioning yourself? This was pretty much this entire ship.

I was really so confident that I would ultimately ship you with Somin, both of you have the same type of sweet elegance that makes the world go round, so much so that I shipped you with J.seph.

I’m listening to Klaxon by (G)I-DLE as I write this, and it really is the best way for me to describe the exact reason why I ship the two of you so hard. Both of you exude the same type of unique, energetic charm that the song captures. You’re both so sweet and thoughtful and you would have so much fun together.

 It was a mad scramble for both of you to ask the other out on a date, think “Hey I love you, I want to do interview” but there’s no interview you’re experiencing a tonne of mutual love.

It really is a “The boy and the princess” type of dynamic, he is so uniquely himself and so eager to be your happy pill. Once you had become friends it didn’t take long for you to start showing your more mischievous side and he pretty much knew that you were his perfect match.

There is no better way to start the visuals section of this ship by commenting about how beautiful you are! I am so fixated on all of your visuals honestly, but the part that is the standout, the main reason why I ship you with Taehyung are your eyes and your overall youthful face, like seriously! You’ve got the cutest little button nose.

This makes everything else so much more obvious, Taehyung’s visuals are surprisingly soft and sweet, a great mirror into his personality, which matches the soft visuals that you also have. Somehow both of you fall under this type of phenomena where despite having such striking  features, they come together to create something that is so gentle and pleasant on the eyes, a breath of fresh air if you will.

Beyond this I can’t get over the fact that I can’t even put it into anymore words at the end of the day. Your visuals work together so cohesively and that’s a fact, you really just look like you were made to be together in a very domestic way.Like pardon me for jumping the gun but both of you look like you’re destined to become husband and wife.

Now, as much as I gush over your visuals a huge part of the reason why I ship you with him is your personality, yet both your visuals and personality corroborate the same exact story: That you are an absolute sweetheart.

Wearing your heart on your sleeve is such a beautiful trait to possess, and Taehyung really agrees with that general sentiment. Despite him seeming fairly serious the reality of it is that it's a huge cover for the fact that he has such a soft heart that is prone to falling hard for people. This time it worked out in his favour considering he fell for the right girl, someone who takes his love and returns it to him tenfold.

You mentioned the fact that you aren’t always as carefree and stress free as you would like but even then, you always feel so calm around Taehyung. There is something that transcends logic in this case, somehow even if he talks about things that have the tendency to be more serious or emotional you just know that it’s all good with him around.

You both have found the space to sit and relax and breath around each other, but even then, there is so much love and energy in your relationship. You reflect the best of each other, you are two peas in a pod, two peas in a pod who grew from pure love and sunshine.

[potatocockoli]

recently i've been doing an exercise with my friends when i get bored of the routine of our drunken dice games backed up by the same three songs we're hyper-fixated on this week at the same kitchen table telling the same old stories until they're not even the real thing anymore but some, although unconsciously, have now become a bastardization of what really happened, but we all have agreed by soft smiles and nods is the only way it could have possibly happened because as i've come to realize the older i get...

the bigger the fish, the bigger the laugh, which is everything when you're on the stage you make on the back porch or the kitchen floor if we are all reaching in the hat at the same time for the cues and the end notes to tell it in the often messy and disgustingly dependent way we grab onto someone else's hand to help us unload the burden we've tried to carry ourselves or maybe tonight im at the top of the stairs so i can really go for it and take on the role of what others will consider credited author of the memory that isn't even mine to twist or yours to mend or theirs to hold but it is now it is now i guess a shared thing we can almost hold in our hands, part of you stays big and bold when you give yourself the grace of finding one thing good in all your decaying parts everyone else wants you to let go of but you can't and your friends give you the attention you need to stand up in your chair and tell it again and again your way until anyone starts to remember it your way or even grant you an arguably higher honor of favorite way of the retelling until you are the only authority on what (didn't) happen

i digress

i started to write this for you with the intention of sending it as a working group assignment like i used to do, because i think writing things out has always been easier for me in order to communicate the way i want to, not just with you but with everyone including myself and i thought you'd appreciate the bit i've been doing and sometimes you're the only person that really sees into me and through me the way i desperately wish someone else could

and i wish i could get to the point but if i did too quickly i wouldn't be me

the exercise in question is simply picking a word and asking everyone in the room to go around and say what they think the actual definition is, and then i look it up on google or if i'm lucky in a dictionary i managed to find in a usually dusty incredibly disorganized book shelf (my own)

the outcome of this which i guess i should have seen coming, because it is so predictable, has been the fact that almost every man i try to play this game with immediately gets defensive, i can only assume because they think i'm asking to make them look dumb, which is mostly not my intention, and of course is because i genuinely want to learn and play and connect the way i do and always have. but i think this ends up being a catch 22 because in leaning into that fairly aggressive response versus answering my question, you've proven to me that the vocabulary you were using in whatever conversation isn't yours to hold onto but instead a crutch to lean on to...what? feel superior? make me think you're smarter than me?

and that has actually been one of the main words i've asked about:

what is the oxford english dictionary definition of smart?

what i came up with was something along the lines of, "the ability to be knowledgable about something well enough to the degree where you can explain it in the simplest of terms to any person with enough foresight to understand you might be proven wrong, and enough humility to take that gracefully and openly."

i can't remember any thought out or original and homeade definitions to the words i've presented to the various groups i've tried to show the game to, most likely because as i stated earlier i think it has brought out a fragility in people i did not mean to tap into, as i only want to have these discussions for the sake of noteworthy and enlightening debate which is hardly ever matched and instead moved past because....? i don't know, i hope my friends just lack the ability to let themselves look stupid for fear of humiliation versus what would be a horrible realization in that my friends are stupid. although on the note of games this response has now led me to a new question in only all female spaces because it enticed my curiousity, can any woman i know name three men in her life that she thinks are smarter than her? so far every woman i've asked can come up with two if she's being generous.

by the way the actual definition of the word smart is, "having or showing a quick-witted intelligence."

which i don't even think that is what the basis of smart would be for anyone using the word to describe someone. which is why i started thinking about this in the first place, to discuss the evolution of words and their meanings and why they can and can't be objective and absolute within this much space over this much time with this amount of people clenching onto whatever subjective ideas they will be sure to believe are fact.

the point of this essay is to ask if you will play the game with me

what do you think is the definition of mother?

better yet what is it to you?

to me it is a ziploc bag protecting my daily peanut butter and honey sandwich perfectly cut in half with an apple and a juice box and trusting it would be the same tomorrow

it is frustration you allow yourself to dish out for the sake of being truthful when i'm laying in the back seat high on acid because you still picked me up

i'm tired

to be continued - blah blah blah

[ahsxkatano]

Where I Can’t Follow

author’s note: see, I told you guys this was going to come out at an ungodly hour. it is 5:30am as I am writing this note out. Also, it’s my 21st birthday, so this is my party favor for y’all. There are a few time jumps in this chapter, but I hope you guys enjoy! -Del ✨

masterlist | series masterlist | prev | next

pairing: Morpheus x Reader

request: no

warnings: shitty spouse says shitty things

word count: 5,402

Chapter Three: Escapism

(Y/N) winced as they scanned the page, this was part of their story that they wished they could forget…that awful marriage with the miserable Elliot Charles. Though the amount of time they had actually spent together was minuscule compared to the amount of life (Y/N) had lived, Elliot still left a bad taste in their mouth. However, one good thing came from their relationship.

It brought (Y/N) closer to the man they actually loved.

After the Charles family left, they had spent the entire night arguing.

The entire night locked in a screaming match with both their parents, begging, pleading to do anything else to get out of the marriage they wanted no part in.

But all of their yelling fell on deaf ears.

For once, (Y/N) could not bring themself to dream. There was very little time left in the night for starters, but the pain (Y/N) felt weighing down on their chest was unbearable. Clutching onto their pillow tightly, fresh tears stain their sheets. And for the first time in their life…

They felt utterly hopeless.

The next morning comes by quickly, (Y/N) still in the same position on their bed, refusing to move. One of the handmaidens comes and tries to coax them out of their bed, claiming to have made one of the favorite pastries, but they still cannot bring themself to move. It isn’t until their mother comes slamming through the door and practically yanks them from their bed.

Their mother helps them dress for the wedding, and silence sits between the two. (Y/N) refuses to meet their mother’s eyes, their own orbs fixated on the wooden floor. A gentle tug at their shoulder brings them back into focus.

“You look wonderful, darling. Elliot is very lucky to have you.” She says quietly, adjusting (Y/N)’s clothing. A frown remains present on their face. Their mother lets out a sigh. “You know, you’re going to have to talk at some point. This is happening. Just be grateful that it’s happening at your age and not my own.” Their frown deepens.

“Did you try to fight back when you found out you were to marry father?” Their mother stiffens, before scoffing.

“Of course not, it was a mut-”

“Mutually beneficial arrangement.” (Y/N) finishes. “But you’re honestly telling me that at 13…you really were okay with marrying father?” They think back to the book they had read in that library, wondering if for once she would be honest with them. Their mother let out a small sigh.

“Not at first.” She murmurs, but any sense of emotion their mother had seems to wash away immediately. “But, I realized that I had to do this for my family, as do you.” With that, they pat (Y/N)’s shoulders, stepping back from them. “We need to leave, don’t want you to be late on your own wedding day.”

(Y/N) barely remembers registering what the priest was saying. All they could hear was a ringing in their ears, as they stood in front of Elliot…the person who was very shortly about to be their spouse. Elliot seemed to look just as nervous. Their eyes shifted towards the mostly empty seats in the church. The only ones attending seemed to be both of their parents.

“(Y/N)...”

Their eyes snap forward. The priest pauses momentarily, giving them a funny look. “Something the matter?” A frown forms on their face. Wasn’t he the one that just called them? Quickly, they shake their head.

“N-No, sorry.” The priest seemed to roll his eyes before continuing to read from his book. They could have sworn someone had just called their name. Their brows furrow.

“(Y/N).”

Their eyes look forward again, this time trying not to draw any attention to themself. Someone is calling them. Or maybe these are just the beginning signs of madness. Honestly, they would take either option.

“(Y/N)!”

The voice sounds more insistent now. (Y/N)’s eyes glance at Elliot’s. Then something estranged happened. There seemed to be some kind of movement, happening on the wall just behind Elliot. Their eyes shift focus to the sudden movement. The wall seems to ripple, almost like a pond when one skidded a rock across it. (Y/N) looks around the room to see if anyone else notices, but all eyes are focused on just the two of them.

“You know you don’t belong here…you’ve always known…”

The voice sends a shiver down their back. Their attention is back on the wall, as it begins to morph itself into something new.

The door.

The dark oak door appears before them again, illuminated by the gold sigils painted across it. There is a slight audible pop, and the door begins to creek open again.

“Come, (Y/N)...forget this life…”

(Y/N) bites their lip. No one still seems to notice the door. Were they dreaming? There is no reason for this door to be real right now unless perhaps they WERE dreaming and just having a god-awful nightmare.

They feel a sudden pinch on their hand.

(Y/N)’s eyes readjust to the person in front of them. Elliot gives them a sheepish look.

“It’s your turn.” They whisper. (Y/N) cocks their head to the side.

“My turn?” Elliot nods.

“You know…to say the thing.” (Y/N) blinks for a moment, before turning to the priest, who gives them an annoyed look.

“Well?” He grumbles out. Quickly, their eyes glance back to the wall. The door is gone. They let out a quiet sigh. Guess running away was no longer an option.

“I do…”

The rest of the ceremony wrapped up quickly, and the now conjoined families celebrated with a huge feast at the Charles’ estate. But (Y/N) didn’t feel like celebrating, and from the looks of it, neither did Elliot. However, it was at this dinner that they both learned that all of (Y/N)’s things had been moved into the Charles’ guest house, where the two newlyweds would now live.

How could this day get any worse?

Their first night together had to have been the most painful for them. They both lay in their now shared bed, staring up at the ceiling, refusing to exchange any sort of glances at each other. As much as (Y/N) tried to combat their sleep, they soon fell victim to it.

(Y/N) finds themself in a void this time around. There is nothing there. It is just their body seemingly floating through the never-ending pitch-black space that seems to surround them. A frown crosses their features. Not even one of their dreams could lighten their mood.

Of course, that’s when that damned door makes its grand appearance again. However, a noticeable lack of talking this time around. A small smile graces their features.

Maybe saying hello to a certain brooding King of Dreams might make this day somewhat better.

Having nothing really to push themselves off of to get them closer, slowly, their body drifts towards the door. Being just a few inches away from it, the door’s audible creak rings in (Y/N)’s ears. They force their body through the door, excitement coursing through their veins.

But instead of seeing the library’s shelves like before, they seem to find themselves falling.

However, it wasn’t a long fall, as their back soon made contact with something hard and flat. They let out a groan, as their eyes close tightly. They could hear footsteps quickly approaching.

“You sure have a way with making an entrance, Mx. (L/N).” A familiar voice mumbles. Their eyes slowly peak open, greeted by Lucienne, who is currently looking at them with a raised brow and crossed arms. “Are you alright?” (Y/N) props themself up, realizing they had landed on a wooden table.

“I think I’ll live.” They push themself off the table, wiping some dust from their clothes. “That damn door apparently wants to cause nothing but trouble today…” They grumbled.

“You came through the door again?” She asks with a troubled look. (Y/N) just nods.

“It appeared to me while I was awake today, during my-” They cut themself off, grimacing. During my wedding. Lucienne cocks her head to the side. “During a family event…” They mumble. Lucienne nods, a frown forming on her features.

“I see, Lord Morpheus will need to hear about this.” (Y/N) looked confused.

“Who?” She gives them a funny look.

“Did that fall damage your head? I thought you had met him previously.”

“Wasn’t his name Dream?” They question. Lucienne nods.

“The Lord has many names.” She looks down, writing something on her clipboard. “We still haven’t been able to figure out what exactly this door is, and why it is appearing to you specifically, but I’m sure we…he will find some sort of lead soon.” She mumbles. (Y/N)’s gaze shifts to around the room, noticing the lack of a certain someone’s presence.

“Is he here? I can tell him what happened.” Lucienne shakes her head.

“Unfortunately, his lordship is out attending to his duties.” (Y/N) feels their face drop. So much for that. Lucienne seems to notice the shift in their demeanor. “You are still free to stay, of course, we have plenty of books here at the library.” (Y/N)’s eyes shifted back to the room.

It was quite the sight.

They were sure that this was the most amount of books they had ever seen. They were also sure that they would at least need centuries to read every single book that was there. But they also noticed the piles and piles of books that had been stacked up on the sides, left on the tables, and even some on the floor.

“Actually, do you think you need any help around the library?” They ask, much to Lucienne’s surprise. “I have a feeling I am going to be here a lot more.”

“You don’t need to do that, Mx. (L/N). You are a guest here in the Dreaming.” They shake their head.

“Please, call me (Y/N). And as much as I would love to read every book in here, I would also like to help a friend out!” They smile at the smaller woman. “Plus, it’s not fair to you to have to do all of this by yourself! Please, I would love to help you with the library.” The woman seems to look off, contemplating their offer.

“You’d be wise to take their help, Lucienne.” That voice. “They don’t seem like the type to take no for an answer. Do you, (Y/N)?” Quickly, they turn so fast they practically give themself whiplash. A small smile forms on their face, as their eyes are greeted by the King of Dreams. He stood behind them, the tiniest glint of an amused expression on his normally stoic face. “Good to see you again, (Y/N).”

“And you too, Dream! Or I guess it’s Morpheus.” Their eyes tear away from the man. “Lord Morpheus?” The man raised an eyebrow, before (Y/N) meets his eyes again. “What exactly is your name? Lucienne says you have many, but, what was your original? Or what do you prefer?” An amused glint returns to his eyes.

“I do have many names, but you may call me whichever you prefer.” They pout.

“That’s not really an answer.” They grumble, before thinking for a moment. They clap their hands together, a mischievous glint in their eyes. “How about Mr. Surly Cat?” His face fell, and (Y/N) could swear they could see Lucienne try to bite back a giggle.

“Out of the question.” They let out a sigh.

“You’re no fun! Fine,” They fall into a bow, looking up at the man with a small smirk on their face. “Lord Morpheus, it is a pleasure to see you again.” Morpheus let out a sigh, but his eyes betrayed the annoyance he was trying to convey.

“You always act this way, don’t you?”

“Only with the ones I enjoy spending time with.” (Y/N) stands back up, flashing a smile at the two. “And I’ve loved every moment I have spent with you both so far.” The ghost of a smile appears on Morpheus’s lips. (Y/N)’s body begins to feel lighter. They look down at their hands, shocked to see that they seem to be transparent.

“You seem to be waking up.” Their eyes met again.

“I guess so. Until next time, my Lord.” They tease, before turning towards Lucienne. “And I’m looking forward to helping you!” The woman just gives them a small smile.

(Y/N)’s eyes snapped open. They were greeted by the mundane wall they had seen before they had dozed off. Slowly, their head shifts to the side, seeing a visible lump on the bed next to them. A sigh escapes their lips. So this wasn’t just some horrible nightmare. (Y/N) shifts their body to the opposite side of the bed.

They would give anything to escape from this.

~One Month Later~

While (Y/N) was having a hard time adjusting to married life, they were absolutely thriving in the Dreaming. The best part of their day was when they were able to sneak in naps or just go to bed for the night, as the door would now always appear to them, and they would almost always end up in that library.

(Y/N) was quick with learning the library’s layout too, so putting the books back where they belonged was easy work for both them and Lucienne. The two became rather fast friends as well, trading different stories they liked with each other, and just always seeming to have the most wonderful conversations.

It was another long night, books seemed scattered all over the place. (Y/N) collected as many of them as they could, placing the forgotten books on their cart. They made quick work of the pile, always moving from one aisle to another.

The last book seemed to belong in the romance section. Their eyes scanned across the shelves, looking for the book’s home in the aisle. Spotting the noticeable gap, they placed the book back, wiping their hands with a satisfied smile on their face. (Y/N) makes their way from the aisle, but a noticeable glow in the aisle catches their attention.

There was a small book on the shelf, that seemed to be glowing in a way (Y/N) had only seen once before. Carefully, they pluck the book from the shelf. The cover is just as dark as their door to the Dreaming, painted in the same shining gold sigils. A frown forms on their face. Was their mind playing some kind of trick? (Y/N)’s eyes scan the cover, and they feel their breath hitch at the title.

Where I Can’t Follow: The Heartwrenching Tale of an Endless and a Mortal

(Y/N)’s brows furrow, and cautiously flips through the pages of the book. If anything, it just left them with more questions.

The very first page had no chapter title, and one small sentence: It began in a dream. (Y/N) frowned, flipping through the book’s pages. The rest of them were blank. As if the story had not been written out.

“(Y/N)?” Lucienne’s voice rang out, causing them to jump. “You alright?” They look over at the woman, about to show them the book, only to feel the weight in their hand disappear. (Y/N) glances back down, the book was gone. “(Y/N)?”

“Y-Yeah…sorry…I thought I saw something.” Lucienne frowns.

A few weeks later, and (Y/N) had all but completely forgotten about the strange book. Their newfound duties at the library occupied a majority of their time in their Dreaming life.

It was another average day, but miraculously, the two had managed to get almost all of the books back where they belonged. (Y/N) took it upon themself to do some dusting on the higher shelves. Since those seemed to be the books that were touched the least, they had collected quite the collection of dust over the years.

Carefully climbing up the ladder, (Y/N) sweeps the duster gently across the old books. Clouds of dust flow into the air, getting caught up in the duster’s feathers. Quietly, (Y/N) hummed to themself, getting lost in their own thoughts.

However, a familiar glow tickled their face.

(Y/N) craned their neck, having to look all the way up to the very top shelf, and they could see the glowing book yet again. Why did their mind choose to torment them at the worst of times? Carefully, (Y/N) climbed up higher onto the ladder, the step space becoming much more narrow the higher they went.

When they reached the top step, they still couldn’t quite reach the book, and they began to wonder if they should just leave it altogether. (Y/N) was not trying to risk their life on some half-empty book. However, the book seemed to read their mind, as the glowing became harsher. (Y/N) let out a groan in annoyance, but pushed forward with trying to reach it.

They stretched their arm out as far as they possibly could, their fingertips lightly grazing the book’s binding. Their one arm held on tightly to the ladder, as they started to reach even farther by stepping on their toes. (Y/N) could finally feel the book in the palm of their hand, but before they could pull it from the shelf…

The ladder wobbled.

Before (Y/N) could even register what was happening, it appeared to be too late for them to readjust their balance. They could feel themself lose their grasp on the ladder, as they began their descent to the ground. They could remember hearing a small gasp escape their lips, as they closed their eyes, waiting for impact. But it never came. Instead, they felt someone’s arms cradling tightly around their body.

“Do you attract trouble on your own, or do you go purposely seeking it out?” A deep voice mused. Slowly, their eyes crept open, greeted by Morpheus’s icy stare. They took a moment to register what exactly had just happened. In the span of a second, Morpheus had somehow been able to catch (Y/N). They didn’t even remember seeing him before ascending the ladder. “You seem to be quite the handful at times, (Y/N).”

“Or in this case, I guess you could say an armful.” They tried to joke, but they could still feel their heart racing. “Thank you…for catching me.” The man simply nods, gently placing them on their feet.

“You need to be more careful around here, (Y/N).” Gently, his fingers lift their chin, having them meet his eyes. “We would not want anything to happen to you now, would we?” They could feel his fingers linger on their cheek, face heating up at his words.

“N-No…I’ll be m-more careful.” His stern demeanor fades, the tiniest of smiles on his lips.

“Good.”

The man had vanished without another word, leaving (Y/N) with a flustered expression, and their heart now racing for an entirely different reason.

Morpheus was still quite a mystery to (Y/N), never talking much unless he had to or was making a snide remark. For someone who is practically a God, he had a bit of an attitude on him. And even though they had a rough introduction, it almost seemed like Morpheus would seek them out at times.

There were times (Y/N) could swear that they could feel his gaze, even if he wasn’t in the room. And if they did happen to cross paths, there was always this intense look in his eyes, that would cause their heart to flutter. Even though they had promised to help Lucienne, and they very much kept their word, they couldn’t help but wish to see the brooding man, even if it was just for a moment.

There was something about him that made their heart beat in a way Elliot never could.

And they began to wonder if he had felt the same.

Morpheus always seemed to interact with (Y/N) differently than every other “mortals” that passed through here. They assumed it was probably because he was still trying to figure out just how they seemed to have access to his realm, but they hoped, even if it was ridiculous, that maybe he also felt the strange pull in his heart.

But, this was probably just all in their head.

~Two Years Later~

(Y/N) had grown accustomed to their double life at this point. During the day, they played the role of a faithful spouse, making sure to avoid doing anything that would be frowned upon in the public eye. And at night, they would spend what would feel like days helping Lucienne around the library, while also managing to sneak around and find Morpheus.

There were still no real leads about the mysterious door that only (Y/N) would ever see, but they didn’t really seem to care about it anymore. The door hadn’t manifested in the real world since their “wedding” day. And as for the book, they hadn’t seen it since the ladder incident. Life for them… wasn’t perfect but they were getting by. And their time in the Dreaming was the only thing that seemed to make it all worth it.

“Your mother came by today.” A voice hissed out. (Y/N) looks up from their spot on the bed, greeted by the sight of a very angry-looking Elliot. Their hands were on their hips, and it almost seemed as if they were huffing.

This was the downside of (Y/N)’s life in the waking world.

For the first few months of their marriage, Elliot had remained quiet and was just as upset about the arrangement as (Y/N) had been. But, over time…things just seemed to become more strained between them. Elliot had attempted a few times to try and lure (Y/N) to bed and well…attempt to create the heir both their parents so desperately wanted, but (Y/N) couldn’t bring themself to do it. They refused to bring a child into a loveless marriage, especially if that child’s fate in life was just to be betrothed to someone they didn’t love.

After a year into their marriage, Elliot was fed up. They became aggressive, always verbally insulting (Y/N), even wishing death upon them at times. In public, they were the picture-perfect couple, but behind closed doors, Elliot was a monster.

“And what did she want?” (Y/N) mumbled, eyes focusing back on their book.

“What she always wants. She wants to know why she does not have a grandchild yet.” (Y/N) turns a page in their book. “Are you even listening to me?!”

“I am. But we have had this conversation before. I am not ready for a child.” Elliot lets out a scoff.

“That’s what you always say.” They grumbled. “You understand the entire point of our marriage was to create an heir to the Charles/(L/N) name, right? We literally have one purpose, and yet you can’t seem to bother with me! Let’s just have the bloody kid, and get it over with!” (Y/N) sits up, a deep frown heavy on their face.

“And this is exactly why we are not ready to bring a child into this world. Get it over with? A child is a ton of responsibility, not something you can just get over with.” They seethe. Elliot lets out a frustrated groan.

“You are the sorriest excuse I have ever gotten the displeasure to know! Clumsy beyond belief, and all you seem to do is sleep half the time! You are fucking pathetic!” They shout. (Y/N) sighs. It was better for them to just let Elliot get it out of their system. They had learned a while ago that the more they fought Elliot, the worse they became. “I can’t believe I’m stuck with someone as worthless as you are!” (Y/N) winced. “No really, what have you done on this earth besides being a thorn in everyone’s side? Your parents barely want anything to do with you, I want nothing to do with you, who here actually enjoys your company?! I wish you would just fucking disappear from my life!” And with that, Elliot slams the door shut, storming off.

(Y/N) didn’t bother to follow. Nothing they would say would make anything better between them. They could feel wet drops hit their hands, looking down to realize it was tears. When did they start crying? Another sigh escapes their lips, placing the book on their nightstand, before rolling over onto their bed. More tears flowed freely.

They would give anything to be free from this pain.

Slowly, they feel their eyes begin to drift, and they are whisked off into their dreams.

When (Y/N) awakens, they find themself on a familiar-looking island. This time they weren’t lost at sea, still on the sand where they had been two years prior. However, the storm seemed to be worse this time around, as harsh rains pelted heavily against their skin.

They feel their body give out, crashing against the sand as sobs rip through their throat. They stayed like that for a while, the rain soaking their clothes, and their sobs becoming louder. (Y/N) could feel a warmth hit against their skin, as well as a familiar creak. Their eyes peer open to see the door, but (Y/N) can’t bring themself to move. Instead, they turn over, not wanting anything to do with the Dreaming today. They didn’t want Lucienne and Morpheus to see them like this.

So, (Y/N) continues to lay against the sand. The rain continued to pelt them harder, almost as if it was hail. Their sobs had quieted down, and all they could feel at this moment was nothing. They felt numb.

“(Y/N)?” A voice called out. Their body stiffened. Of course, they knew who the voice was, but they never thought he would actually come looking for them. Maybe they were just hearing things. “(Y/N)?” He calls again, this time, (Y/N) could clearly hear footsteps approaching behind them. They turn their body over, slowly pushing themself off the sand. They look up, and sure enough, the King of Dreams stands before them, with a concerned look in his eyes.

“What are you doing out here…you’re going to get wet…” They mumble, voice still course and raw from their earlier crying spell. A small frown forms on Morpheus's lips.

“You did not come to the Dreaming today…did the door not appear to you?” (Y/N) shakes their head.

“It did…I just…I had a really bad day…” Morpheus pauses for a moment. (Y/N) knew that emotions were not necessarily his strong suit, as they had learned through multiple instances throughout the last two years. But what he did now, surprised them. He sat next to them in the sand.

“Would you…” He pauses, looking for the right wording. “Would you like to talk about it?”

The rain gets lighter.

(Y/N)’s eyes widen before they feel a small chuckle escape their throat. Morpheus’s brows immediately furrow, and he goes to stand. He appeared to be offended. Quickly, (Y/N) reaches up, grabbing one of his arms and pulling him back down to the ground.

“Relax, I was just surprised…you usually freak out with anything to do with emotions.” Morpheus’s lips seem to pucker.

“I do not freak out.”

“Morpheus, you left me one time after you found me crying over a sappy book I read at the library. Then came back three hours later and claimed you had ‘urgent business’ you needed to attend to and that’s why you vanished.” They could feel his body tense.

“I am…learning.” He states firmly. (Y/N) lets out a few giggles, leaning their head against his shoulder.

“Yeah, you are.” The two fall into a comfortable silence, both watching the now calm ocean waves crashing onto the sand. The rain had stopped altogether, and the sky was no longer gloomy. (Y/N) wished that this could be their forever. Morpheus clears his throat, bringing their attention back up to meet his eyes. He still seemed concerned.

“Why did you not wish to come to the Dreaming today?” They let out a sigh, starting to feel the tears well back up in their eyes.

“I…I told you…I had a really bad day.” The clouds appear again, causing Morpheus to frown. “I did not wish for you both to see the state I was in…plus I wouldn’t have been much help in the library today…” They mumble. “I’m honestly surprised to see you here. I thought you both just found me a thorn on your side, having to deal with me just because I kept appearing.” A few tears stream down their cheeks. A light rain begins to cover the island. Soft fingers gently caress their cheek, pulling their face up to meet his eyes.

“Though your appearance in my realm was unexpected, there is not one moment in which Lucienne or I have ever felt like you were some kind of thorn. You have brought much joy into the Dreaming, into Lucienne’s life, and even mine.” He whispers the last part. (Y/N) feels their eyes widen at his words, tears forming again, but for an entirely different reason. They lunge forward, tackling the man into a hug. He stiffens for a bit, before eventually returning the embrace.

“Thank you…” They murmur, voice muffled by his clothes. “You don’t know how much that means to me…” The two stay in each other’s embrace, Morpheus’s hand trailing up and down their back. While (Y/N) is enjoying this moment, they can’t help but worry about what will happen when they wake up. They’d be back in their world…away from people who actually seemed to care about them.

They’d be stuck with Elliot.

However, it almost seemed as if Morpheus had read their mind.

“(Y/N), I must confess something to you.” Begrudgingly, they pull back from his embrace, a quirk on their brow.

“What is it?” He looks off to the side.

“I have visited you…in your realm. A few times. I…Lucienne had noticed a few times where you had come in, and your normal demeanor was off. She seemed worried about you, so I promised to check in just to see if you were doing alright in the waking world.” (Y/N)’s brows furrowed. They had never seen him before in the waking world, but now that they thought about it, there were a few times when they felt as if his gaze was on them. But they always shrugged it off as nothing. They feel their eyes snap wide. If he had gone to see them, did he see…”Why did you not tell us about that thing that has been tormenting you?” Yep, there it is. (Y/N) feels their body tense, eyes shifting back towards the ground.

“I didn’t think it was necessary. Plus, you both already have so much going on, the last thing I would ever want is to add more to your plate.”

“(Y/N).” He calls out firmly. “That was incredibly stupid of you to think.” (Y/N) turns to him, frown on their face. “We care about you…clearly enough for Lucienne to ask me to check in on you.” He sighs, gently caressing the side of their cheek again. “Which leads me to my next question…are you truly happy there? In the waking world?” (Y/N) scoffs.

“I dread waking up. My life in the waking world is absolutely miserable…” They grumble. He gives a small nod.

“Very well, then. I shall offer you this choice, but only this once.” Their head perked up. “You can continue to live your life in the mortal realm, and still come as you please. Or, I can bring you, your physical body, to come to stay in the Dreaming.” (Y/N)’s eyes shoot open.

“I’m sorry, did you just ask me to come live with you?”

“In a way. You would not be living with me but in my realm. But, I must warn you, if you choose this, you cannot return to your world. It would be too much for your physical body to bounce back and forth between both realms, which is why as of now you only appear in your dreams.” He states sternly. “I know it is a lot to decide at the moment, but I-”

“I’ll stay with you.” Morpheus blinks.

“Are you sure? You have not given it mu-”

“I’m sure. I want to stay in the Dreaming.” Morpheus gazes into their eyes, looking for any sign of doubt or indecision. But (Y/N)’s face was stern. There was nothing there for them in this life. They would much rather spend their time in a place where they could truly be happy.

“Then so be it. I will come for you.”

(Y/N) feels their body jolt from their bed. Moonlight peaked through their window, shining onto their bed. They glanced over and could see Elliot fast asleep on their side. A small tapping noise made its way to (Y/N)’s ears. They glance up to see Jessamy tapping her beak against the window. (Y/N) rises from their bed, making their way to the window. Jessamy flies away, landing on her master’s shoulder. (Y/N) couldn’t help but gasp.

He was really here, in the waking world.

And, he was going to take them away from their god-awful nightmare.

(Y/N) glances back at Elliot’s sleeping figure, and can’t help but smile.

Guess both of their dreams would come true tonight.

~

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[baepsaesbae]

Spring Will Come Again

Pairing— Jeon Jungkook x reader    

Genre— Photographer!Jungkook x Baker!reader, SMUT +18, fluff, angst, Virgin!Jungkook, Sub!Jungkook, Switch!Jungkook

Warnings— Finger sucking, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, squirting (?), slight choking, there are a lot of emotions, Jungkook is literally so sweet gosh I just wanna hold him tight, this fic is kind of a rollercoaster of emotions bc I myself do b going thru it

Word Count—  ~10.9k  

Summary— Springtime generally brings new beginnings, but being stuck in a small town all your life means nothing ever changes. Finally, something, or rather, someone, stumbles into your life. Can this shy boy manage to change your life forever?

A/N— This beautiful banner was made by @dee-ehn​! Please let me know what you think of this fic! Hope you guys enjoy~

It all started on a beautiful spring day. Something had convinced you to go on an unprecedented early morning walk for some reason. 

The morning air was cold but crisp. You were bundled up in your favorite sweater, and the scarf that your grandmother knitted for you was wrapped snugly around your neck. Normally you would be immersed in your headphones, but since today was already unusual you decided to forgo the music. 

You walked along the banks of the stream that flowed next to your neighborhood. This particular stream held nothing but fond memories. You grew up here with all the other kids. During the summer breaks, you’d play out here from morning to nightfall. This was the place where you saw your first fireflies, and where you won your first fist fight. 

You stopped to sit on the grassy hill that ran alongside the banks, relishing in nostalgia as you took in a breath of fresh air. Everything is so different now. Everyone moved away to pursue their careers or to go to a big university. You were the only one left. Your parents urged you to go to college, but you refused. Who else would help run the bakery? 

As much as you hated to see it, your parents were growing old. Managing the family bakery was getting harder on them. You were such a huge help to them since you basically managed all of the front-of-house work. They worked diligently in the kitchen every day to create the best baked goods in town. 

You had always dreamt of leaving this small town. You’ve fantasized about attending a big university in the middle of a bustling city since you were a little kid. Unfortunately, that can’t happen now. You can’t leave your parents or the bakery behind. You held no resentment though, you loved it. Being an only child was a bit lonely at times, but your parents made you feel loved no matter what.

You laid on the grassy hill, watching the clouds roll by. Maybe life was better this way. It was simple, and you always knew what to expect. Day in and day out, the routine was always the same. 

Everything changed on that day. That was the fateful day that you ran into him. Or rather, he ran into you. 

“Good morning, ____! Where were you this morning? Why weren’t you answering your phone?” your concerned mother asked when you returned home.

“Morning mom. I went on a walk and forgot my phone I guess. Sorry about that. I ended up laying on the hill by the stream,” you replied as you sat at the breakfast table.

Living with bakers was probably one of the biggest blessings in your life. Every meal smelled delectable and you had access to all the fresh goodies you could desire. 

“Wow, you were awake before we were? What a surprise. Here, tell me what you think of this loaf,” your dad set it in front of you.

You tossed a piece of bread into your mouth. The taste was savory to say the least. It was your father’s signature banana bread loaf, only this time with a small twist. 

“Why’d you take out the walnuts? It’s still delicious though,” you said, devouring another piece.

“Well so many customers complain about having nut allergies now. I thought we could sell more if we take them out! You think we can sell this?” he asked eagerly.

“I think this will be our newest best seller!” you happily replied, “I’m gonna go open up the shop. See you guys soon,” you kissed them each on the cheek before taking your leave.

The bakery was down the street from your house, so the commute was only about 5 minutes even if you walked slowly. You brought your phone with you this time, so you were jamming out to your music, oblivious to the outside world. You were so out of it, that you didn’t have time to react to the person quickly rounding the corner.

One moment you were walking to work, the next you were knocked onto the cold hard ground. Your assailant fell on top of you, and you soon locked eyes with him. It was as if time stood still for a moment. He was the most beautiful boy you’ve ever seen. His eyes were wide with concern, and for a moment, you swore you saw stars twinkling within them. 

It took a second to register that this stranger was on top of you, in a compromising position no less. You’ve never been this close to a boy since...well it has been a while. Your legs were intertwined and his nose was only inches from yours. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you until the last second,” the boy apologized as he scrambled to get off of you. 

As he helped you up, you reassured him that you were fine. You laughed off the incident and took the boy by surprise. You had the most angelic laugh he’d ever heard. He stood awkwardly gazing at you, before you asked him if he was okay. 

“I-I’m fine! I’m glad you’re okay. I apologize again for being so careless,” he bowed.

“I’m also at fault! I wasn’t paying attention either. So shame on both of us,” you smiled to show him you were joking, “Enjoy the rest of your day, don’t run into anyone else!”

And with that, you parted ways. You forgot about the stranger as the morning rush piled into the bakery. 

Despite being located in a small town, your parent’s were nationally renowned bakers. The bakery was always busy. That was part of why you loved it so much, you were never bored. The regular customers were your favorite. Most of the townsfolk had been coming to the bakery since you were little. 

“Is this banana bread new?” Mrs. Park, the local florist, asked.

“Technically, yes. It’s the exact same recipe but without the walnuts,” you replied.

“Perfect! I’m not too fond of walnuts but I adore your parents’ banana bread,” Mrs. Park beamed, handing you a loaf along with other goods she picked up.

“How’s Jimin?” you asked as you rang her up.

“Oh he’s doing well! He loves it out there in the big city. At first, I was terrified of letting him go. He’s just always been so passionate about dancing, I finally had to cave in. He recently auditioned to be part of some fancy dance crew, and he got in! Can you believe it?” Mrs. Park began to dote on her son.

“That’s amazing! I’m happy for him,” you smiled.

“You know, ____, Jimin is still single. You two would be perfect together--”

“Long distance relationships are hard, Mrs. Park,” your mother interrupted her, swooping in to save the day. Thank god. You wouldn’t have known how to react. 

“She could always move out to the city to be with him!” Mrs. Park retorted, not picking up on the awkward situation she created. 

“I could never leave the bakery,” you responded quickly.

“Ah, yes that’s right. You have such a good daughter, Mrs. _____. Jimin never took any interest in taking over the family business. I’m jealous of you!” Mrs. Park said to your mom.

After what seemed like an eternity, Mrs. Park finally left. You were fond of her, but she never knew when to stop talking. Jimin was a good friend of yours growing up. You never wanted to admit that you had a huge crush on him. You figured it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, since he was so fixated on moving out. 

The morning rush had died down. You took this opportunity to restock and tidy things up before the afternoon rush. The store bell rang, indicating the arrival of another customer.

“Welcome in! I’ll be with you shortly,” you called out from behind the counter. 

“No worries, thanks!” the customer yelled back.

Once finished, you popped up with a bright smile on your face. Your parents taught you to always greet the customers with a smile as soon as they walk in. 

However, the customer wasn’t facing your direction. He was looking at the baked goods that aligned the opposite wall. You patiently waited for him to make his selection. He kept walking back and forth, eyeing all of the baked items. You left your station behind the counter and approached him.

“Can I help you with anything, sir?” you piped up behind him.

The man jumped back, startled.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you,” you apologized.

“It’s okay! I didn’t hear you at all. You must be some sort of ninja-- Oh it’s you!” the boy turned around to face you.

It was the gorgeous boy who ran into you earlier. 

“Hello again! I guess it was my turn to frighten you,” you joked.

“That’s fair,” he nodded, “What’s the best thing here?”

“Mmm that’s hard for me to say, considering that I love them all. What kind of tastes and textures do you like?” your customer service persona kicked in. 

“I like sweet things I guess? I like bananas too…” he trailed off.

“We don’t have any bananas in fruit form, but we do have killer banana bread,” you beamed.

“That sounds good, but I don’t really like nuts so--”

“There are no nuts in our new recipe! You must be lucky, this is the first day that we’ve started selling them. Want me to ring you up a loaf?” you interrupted him.

“Oh no nuts? Okay, I’ll try it,” he agreed quietly.

“Would you still like to get something sweet as well?” 

“Yeah, if that’s okay,” he nodded timidly.

“Of course it’s okay! My personal favorite is our milk pudding bun. The pudding in the middle is pretty creamy plus the bread is unbelievably soft! If that’s not for you, then we have a classic chocolate bun filled with, surprise surprise, chocolate. We also have…” you led the boy around the entire bakery.

You were too focused on recommending various breads to notice him stealing glances at you that lingered longer than normal. He patiently let you talk his ear off about the goodies.

“I’ll go with the milk pudding bun,” he smiled shyly.

“That was the first one! You should’ve stopped me from rambling,” you huffed.

“I wanted to know my options. Plus you seemed pretty happy,” he added softly.

“Alright, let’s go check you out then,” you headed to the counter, “I haven’t seen you before. What brings you to our little town?” you attempted to make conversation.

“Mmm, to get away, I guess,” the boy said after a pause.

“Are you in some sort of trouble?” you leaned over the counter to whisper.

“Kind of,” he whispered back.

“Stay right here, I can call the police,” you frantically murmured as you whipped out your phone.

“No no! Not like that,” he couldn’t contain his laughter, “I’m a fine arts student. My main focus is photography, but lately I haven’t been able to capture anything worth printing,” he explained.

“Ohhh,” you said, feeling dumb, “Then why come to a town in the middle of nowhere? You won’t find much here.”

“To an untrained eye, maybe so. But to a professional, beauty can be found anywhere,” he said proudly.

“Then why can’t you find anything back home? And aren’t you still a student?” you questioned.

“You know, I was really hoping that you’d let me have that,” the boy deflated.

“Aw, I’m sorry! If you ever want to take photos of the beauty that is bread, you’re always welcome here,” you smiled.

“I might take you up on that offer,” he said as he grabbed the purchased goods, “What’s your name by the way?”

“____. Yours?”

“Jeon Jungkook.”

“I’ll see you around, Mr. Jeon Jungkook. Oh! And if you’d like a tour of the town, I’d be more than happy to show you around,” you suggested.

“That would be nice,” Jungkook pondered, “Where can I find you?”

“I’m here every day. I get off at 3pm,” you answered.

“Cool. I’ll drop by tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

“Sure! See you then!” you waved goodbye.

“Who was that?” your mother asked when the boy left.

“Some photography student that said he wanted to get away for some inspiration. I offered to give him a tour tomorrow after work,” you explained. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” your dad offered.

“I’ll be fine on my own, thanks,” you quickly turned him down.

You spent the next morning frantically flip flopping between outfits. Should you go with a pretty top paired with a skirt? Or perhaps keep it casual with a t-shirt and jeans? Or should you go with a simple dress? You know you’re supposed to be a tour guide, but you still wanted to look somewhat presentable. You settled for the dress. It gave off a “cute but not trying too hard” type of vibe. 

Time seemed to slowly drag on as you waited for Jungkook to return. You had already mapped out your route, making sure it was efficient (not like there’s much to see anyway). You wanted to surprise him with a picnic at the end of the tour. Hopefully it could help show off the natural beauty of the forests and meadows that surrounded the town. As the clock approached 3pm, you began to wonder if springing a surprise picnic on a stranger was odd. Oh god, what if it was? You hadn’t had much interaction with people your age once all your friends went off to live their own lives. Panic was starting to set in when the front bell chimed.

“Hey! I’m a little early, but I can wait around until you’re finished,” Jungkook greeted you. You noticed a fancy looking camera dangling around his chest.

“It’s all good! Business has been slow today, I’ve been bored,” you admitted.

“Oh I see--” Jungkook was cut off.

“Hi! I’m ____’s mom. Did you like the bread you bought yesterday?” your mom materialized out of nowhere with a pan of fresh bread in her hands.

“It was delicious! Better than anything I could get in the city,” Jungkook complimented.

“Why did you batch a new batch? No one has come in after 1pm,” you aggressively whispered to your mom. 

“I got bored,” she pouted, “Here, have one! On the house, think of it as a welcoming present to our town,” she motioned for Jungkook to take a fresh loaf off the tray.

Jungkook’s face lit up at the offer as he thanked her for the snack. His smile lingered as he took a bite, savoring the taste.

“You must have some sort of good luck charm; you’re getting even more free food later,” you chuckled as you plopped a wicker basket onto the checkout counter.

“Sweet,” he beamed. 

You let out a small sigh of relief. It didn’t seem like Jungkook was creeped out by the thought of eating with a stranger. With the basket in hand, you led Jungkook across the town. There truly wasn’t much to see. Your family’s bakery was in line with the rest of the town’s shops. You passed by the florist, the cafe, the grocery store, and the post office within the first 3 minutes just by walking down the street. You added in little personal stories with each business that you pointed out. 

Jungkook paused by the flower shop, in awe of all the beautiful arrangements. His eyes scanned the outside displays, as if he was looking for something. 

“Need something specific, dear?” Mrs. Park asked her potential customer. 

“Do you have Tiger flowers?” he inquired.

“Tiger… No, but I can probably order some for you,” she offered.

“Ah, that’s alright. I’m sorry to bother you,” Jungkook apologized before rejoining you.

“Did you wanna take a picture of that specific flower?” you asked him as you strolled along the sidewalk.

“Yeah, it’s my birth flower,” he shyly nodded.

“Oh nice! I don’t know what my birth flower is, but yours sounds pretty. Ah, here is the town square. Over there is the courthouse/government building/boring stuff happens in there probably,” you said as you pointed out the building.

“This is cool,” Jungkook examined a decrepit well that stood in front of the courthouse.

“I guess. I always thought it would be better if they replaced it with a big pretty fountain or something,” you mentioned as you looked down into the dark abyss of the well.

Jungkook said nothing as he began taking pictures of the well from various angles. You watched him frown at each picture he took before he tried to take another. 

“Maybe you could take a picture looking into the well? I mean, you’d probably have to stand on it to get a full shot and your feet will be in it but…” you suggested before realizing that you knew nothing about photography.

Jungkook immediately hopped onto the well, disregarding the loose pebbles that crumbled away under his weight. Pointing the camera directly down into the well, he snapped a couple of pictures. He didn’t bother hopping off of the well before scrolling through the pictures he just took. You caught yourself staring at him, admiring his features. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, his lips were pursed, and the wind was blowing his bangs over his forehead ever so slightly. He really was a handsome boy, though he seemed to be completely unaware of it. 

“How’d it turn out?” you asked as he climbed down.

“Not bad actually. Better than the angles I took at first,” Jungkook smiled with approval, “I’ll show you after I touch them up.”

“I’m excited to see! Also, this basically concludes the tour because everything else is residential stuff. Unless you wanna take pictures of random people’s homes,” you joked.

“I’m good. Is this where we’re eating? I kinda skipped lunch,” Jungkook looked at the wicker basket in your hand.

“Nope! I’m gonna take you somewhere special. Are you okay with a bit of light hiking?”

“Sounds fun,” Jungkook grinned. 

“Perfect! Now it’s your turn to lug this thing around,” you said as you handed him the deceptively heavy basket. 

You took him to the outskirts of town, where nature was left untouched.

“Is this where all the cool kids have their picnics?” Jungkook asked as you led him down an old trail.

“All the cool kids left this town a while ago, so I can’t speak on their behalf. However, this is where I like to have my picnics so take that in whatever way you please,” you responded.

It was a sunny day on the verge of being too hot, but the densely wooded forest provided enough shade to make it comfortable. Your parents used to take you on walks in these woods when you (and they) were younger. Of course, now the hilly paths and loose soil would only wreak havoc on your parents’ old knees. You’ve grown accustomed to exploring on your own. Bringing Jungkook along was a pleasant change. 

“You okay with eating here?” you suddenly stopped, pointing over to a field just off the trail.

“I’ll eat anywhere, I’m starving,” Jungkook quickly nodded. 

“I’m fully aware of that; I could barely hear the birds chirping over the sounds of your stomach growling,” you teased.

An old tree that was large enough to cover up the entire picnic blanket with shade proved to be the ideal spot. Jungkook set down the wicker basket that you assigned to him earlier, eagerly waiting for you to finally open it.

“On the menu today we have fruits as an appetizer, ham and cheese sandwiches in homemade croissants as the main course, and last but not least, chocolate buns for dessert,” you proudly showcased each item.

“I never knew bread could taste so heavenly until I went to your bakery. I’m happy I walked in,” Jungkook praised as he wolfed down his sandwich.

“It’s not my bakery, it’s my parents’ bakery,” you corrected him as you ate the fruit.

“Don’t you work in it nearly every day? I don’t see how it’s not your bakery too,” Jungkook insisted.

“I’m not the one running the business,” you argued.

“You seem to put in the same amount as work as them. Instead of baking, you’re handling all of the customers. That’s gotta count for something, right?” Jungkook persisted. 

“Fine, I guess you could say it’s a family bakery. Happy?” you huffed, clearly annoyed.

  “Hey, I wasn’t trying to make you angry. I’m sorry if I overstepped,” Jungkook apologized, putting his sandwich down, “I wanted to let you know how much I love your family’s bread, that’s all.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It’s just…” your trailed off as you gazed at the blue sky.

“I don’t want to pry, but I’m happy to sit here and listen,” Jungkook offered. 

“I don’t want to scare you away by dumping my personal issues on you,” you tried to lighten the mood.

“I don’t think you could do that, ____,” Jungkook assured you. 

Your eyes widened ever so slightly since he caught you off guard with his sincerity, but soon you gave him a soft smile.

“Fine, since we’re just sitting here anyway,” you caved as you picked up your sandwich, “I wish I wasn’t here anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents and I love the bakery. I just wish I got to go to a big city somewhere and attend a real university. I don’t know what I’d study, I just know that I thought my life would be different by now,” you turn away from him to hide your watery eyes.

“It’s not all that great,” Jungkook responded after a short pause, “I came from a small town too. The only difference was that it was along a beach, not by a forest. Wait, the location doesn’t matter,” he quietly scolded himself, “What I’m trying to say is that I did get away from my hometown. I was so excited to finally be a city kid. I didn’t realize how overwhelming it would be. Now look at me. I’m a senior in college with no direction in life. That’s what I get for choosing a career with no job security,” he chuckled as he looked down at the camera around his neck. 

“But are you doing what you love?” you quietly asked.

“I think so. Are you?” he asked back.

“I think so,” you sighed, finally turning to look at him. 

“I could always take you back to the city with me,” Jungkook flashed you a big bunny smile.

“Don’t joke with me like that. I hate getting my hopes up,” you playfully punch him in the arm. 

“I’m not joking!” he yelped in surprise.

The conversation turned into a more cheerful one. You both spoke about your dreams, both childhood and present day. It was fun talking with Jungkook as you both watched the clouds roll by without a care in the world. 

“Maybe you could get some pretty shots of some wildlife while we’re out here,” you recommended when the conversation came to a pause.

“Do you want to model for me?” Jungkook asked.

“Huh?” his sudden proposal surprised you.

“It’s completely okay if you don’t want to! Actually, just forget I said anything,” Jungkook looked down at the camera in his hands in a futile attempt to hide his flushed cheeks. 

“Just tell me how to pose,” you smiled, already getting up.

“Uh, just act natural,” he said awkwardly as you leaned against the thick tree trunk.

At first, you made some silly poses that made Jungkook laugh. To be honest, you only did that because you really didn’t know how to pose next to the tree while making it look natural. Forcing a smile, you attempted to lean on the tree like as if it were another person. 

“You don’t have to fake a smile,” Jungkook called from behind the camera.

“I don’t know what to do!” you called back.

“Act natural!”

“How do I do that?”

“Naturally!”

His response rewarded him a sarcastic eye roll, followed by a burst of laughter. Jungkook furiously clicked his camera as you laughed even harder. He praised you for ‘being in your natural state’ as he took shots from ridiculous angles. He gave you a thumbs up after he was satisfied with the impromptu photoshoot.

“Is laughing until I can’t breathe just me being in my natural state?” you asked playfully as you sat back down on the picnic blanket.

“It was authentic, so I would say so. I wish I could capture sound too, your laugh is so cute,” Jungkook said nonchalantly as he scrolled through the photos.

His eyes widened as soon as he realized what he said. He opened his mouth to try and take it back, or at least cover it up. He looked over at you shyly, only to see that you were digging out dessert from the basket. He let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully, you didn’t hear him. 

“How were the pictures?” you asked, scooting to sit beside him after handing him the dessert.

“See for yourself,” he proudly showed you.

You were amazed by his talent. Even without editing, the photos looked like they were ready to be submitted into a contest. Everything looked so perfect. Your smile was genuine, the lighting was optimal, and your hair looked surprisingly good. You applauded him for his talent, to which he bashfully denied by saying he was still such an amatuer. You both finally dug into the desserts. 

“These chocolate buns were amazing,” Jungkook licked his lips after he finished it.

“They’re my personal favorite! They’re also the best things that I can make on my own,” you winked at him as you finished yours.

���You made these?” Jungkook’s doe eyes filled with awe.

“Yep! Don’t act so surprised,” you pouted.

“Sorry, it’s just that you told me your parents bake everything. These were really good! Probably the best things I’ve had since--oh wait. You have a little something,” Jungkook leaned forward to wipe the corner of your mouth with his thumb. 

You both froze for a second, in shock of this intimate gesture. Jungkook’s mouth opened to apologize, but you stopped him before he had the chance. Without thinking about it, you put your mouth around his thumb. You sucked on it for a second before you snapped back to reality. You started apologizing profusely the instant his thumb left your mouth. 

“It’s okay! I shouldn’t have touched you in the first place,” Jungkook shied away from you, refusing to look you in the eyes. 

“I don’t know what came over me,” you apologized as you grabbed his hand.

Jungkook looked at you with an embarrassed expression the moment you held his hand in yours. At first you didn’t realize why he was so embarrassed, you were the one sucking his thumb. But then, you noticed Jungkook sheepishly resting his other hand in his lap.

“Jungkook,” you said sweetly.

“Yes?” he answered, his eyes averting yours once more. 

“Do you want me to do it again?”

“Huh?” he looked back at you with disbelief. 

You made a bold move as you moved to straddle his lap, each leg settling beside his waist. You brought his hand up to your mouth and batted your eyes innocently.

“Like this,” you say before licking his pointer finger. 

Jungkook gulped while slowly nodding his head, giving you permission to continue. His eyes stayed glued on you as you wrapped your lips around his finger. You dragged your flattened out tongue from the base to the tip. You then reversed this motion, but instead only using the tip of your tongue. You began to work on his middle finger as well. It was hard to fit his long fingers in your mouth, but you’re no quitter. Your tongue weaved between his fingers, adequately coating them with your saliva.

Jungkook’s breaths quickened the longer you went on. You felt a bulge grow between your thighs as you straddled him. Perhaps wearing a dress was a great idea after all. Your hips began to move on their own as you slowly grinded on Jungkook. 

“____…” Jungkook moaned quietly when you daringly took three fingers into your mouth.

Rubbing your clothed pussy against his hard crotch spurred you on even more. Drool was dribbling down Jungkook’s arm and your chin, but neither of you cared. It just made you look more erotic to him. His other hand was on your hip to help you maintain a rhythm. You opened your eyes to make contact with his as you suckled his fingers. That’s all it took to make him come undone.

He quickly pushed you off of him as he cried out. You were both too shocked to say anything for a few seconds. Jungkook seemed too embarrassed to look you in the eyes again, his cheeks bright red.

“Jungkook, I--” you started to apologize.

“You probably think I’m pretty lame huh? Cumming in my pants like some sort of middle schooler,” he looked down in defeat. 

“What? No, of course not!” you disagreed.

“Don’t lie,” Jungkook refused to believe you.

“Jungkook, that was honestly the hottest thing I’ve ever done. What we just did was hotter than when I was actually having sex,” you tried to cheer him up. 

“You’re not lying?” Jungkook finally looked up at you with sad puppy dog eyes.

“I swear I’m not. I could help you clean it up, if you’d like,” you offered. 

“I think that would make me feel worse. Just hand me some napkins and I’ll go take care of it myself,” he declined.

You packed everything up while you waited for Jungkook to return. He discreetly threw away the ball of used napkins into the designated trash bag, praying to god that you weren’t looking. 

The walk back was quiet and awkward. Neither of you knew what to say. You were horrified with how you acted; you’ve never been so bold before. Jungkook was ashamed of cumming before he had the chance to do anything to you. He felt so pathetic. 

“I’m sorry for making you so uncomfortable, Jungkook,” you finally apologized.

“Are you kidding? You think I would cum that fast if I was uncomfortable?” Jungkook looked at you with incredulity, “I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m disgusting and came in my pants while you did all the hard work.”

“You’re not disgusting at all, Jungkook. I enjoyed it too. I can’t remember the last time I was that horny,” you laughed.

All the tension in the air had disappeared. Jungkook bounced back to being his cheery self. The conversation went back to normal as you brought him back to the bakery. You hugged him goodbye and were about to leave when he caught your hand.

“Thank you so much for the tour. I know we’ve only known each other for a day but... would you like to go on a date with me?” Jungkook asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.

“No,” you said firmly, watching his shoulders fall, “I’d love to go on a date with you,” you smirked.

“You jerk!” Jungkook gasped. 

You couldn’t help it, he was too easy to tease. After working out the details, it was decided that he would come pick you up on Friday night. 

Jungkook took you to basically the only restaurant in town (that wasn’t the cafe). It was a family run Italian eatery, and it took Jungkook by surprise.

“Is everyone in this place a master chef or something? This is delicious!” he praised as he ate his pasta.

“I guess it’s the authenticity of family recipes? You probably eat at more chain restaurants while you’re in the city,” you shrugged as you twirled noodles around your fork.

The date went on pleasantly. Jungkook wanted to know as much about you as you did him. The conversations you had were lively and fun; there was never a dull moment with him. Something about him just automatically clicked with you.

“What’s your favorite thing to photograph?” you asked.

“I like taking pictures of landscapes and buildings. That’s why I was super excited about going to a university in the city. It’s a lot easier than taking pictures of people! Unfortunately, that’s where the money is right now,” he explained.

“You don’t like taking pictures of people?”

“Not really, no,” he answered bluntly.

“Then why did you ask me to model for you?” you were genuinely curious.

Jungkook froze in his seat. He took a long sip of his drink before answering you. 

“For practice, I suppose,” he said softly. 

“I’m happy I was able to help then,” you smiled, thinking nothing of it. 

Jungkook seemed grateful that you didn’t press for more details, and was soon coaxed out of his shy shell once the topic of anime came around. You were happy that he took you out on a proper date, you hadn’t been on one in so long.

He walked you back under the pale moonlight. You were admiring the twinkling stars when you realized that Jungkook hadn’t said anything in a while. His hand awkwardly brushed against yours when you first left the restaurant, but you didn’t think much of it. Jungkook seemed to be thinking hard about something as he walked alongside you. You were going to say something when the back of his hand brushed against yours again. He instantly pulled away and uttered a small “sorry”.

“What’s wrong, Jungkook?” you were worried now, you thought the date went well. 

“Nothing…,” his voice trailed off as he looked away.

You interlocked his pinky with yours without a word. Jungkook looked over at you with surprise, but said nothing. He admonished himself for not committing to hold your hand, but he was happy with this too. In fact, he thought it was cuter than actual hand holding.

You arrived in front of your house. Bidding Jungkook goodnight, you went in for a hug. Jungkook also went in for a hug, but he leaned the same way you did. In a quick bumble, your lips grazed the corner of Jungkook’s, causing you to jump back. You stood in Jungkook’s arms, looking away in embarrassment. He brought up one of his hands to cup your cheek, forcing you to look back at him. His eyes sparkled under the moonlight as he gazed into yours. 

Slowly, you found yourself leaning forward. Jungkook met you in the middle, his lips finding yours. It was a tender kiss, sweet and soft. You broke it off after a couple seconds to giggle, but Jungkook pulled you back into it. He kissed you gently, yet with so much passion. You reciprocated his affection as your fingers intertwined with his hair, deepening the kiss.

He finally pulled away, smiling back at you. To be honest, you wish it lasted longer. However, you knew you would have had a hard time controlling yourself if it did.

“Thank you for dinner,” you thanked him with a soft voice.

“Of course, thank you for accompanying me,” he bowed like a gentleman and kissed your hand. You couldn’t help but laugh at his gesture.

“Too much?” he tilted his head.

“Don’t change a thing,” you continued to laugh. 

All sorts of thoughts about Jungkook swam in your mind as you fell asleep that night. 

Jungkook soon began to hangout with you every day. When he wasn’t out trying to take pictures, he would be in the bakery keeping you company. Your parents teased him, saying that he better buy something or else they’d kick him out, but they never did. In fact, your mom would always sneak him some freshly baked goods. 

After work, you and Jungkook would spend even more time together. It didn’t matter if you guys were exploring nature, cooling off in the stream, or just watching movies; you enjoyed it all. It was nice having someone to talk to for a change. Jungkook never asked to make plans with you, he just assumed you guys would hangout the next day when he said “see ya tomorrow!”

You knew you had a crush on Jungkook, but you didn’t know how he felt. Yes, he took you on a date. Yes, you’ve kissed. Yes, you made in cum in his pants (not necessarily in that order). You were waiting on him to ask you to be his girlfriend. You didn’t want to pressure him, especially when you knew that he’d be going back to school in the fall. 

One day, much to your chagrin, Jungkook was helping you with inventory. You argued that he shouldn’t work since he wasn’t getting paid, but he smiled and replied that spending time with you was all the payment he needed. You were too flustered to argue after that.

“Great, everything has been accounted for! Can you help me put this box back up there?” you asked him, nodding your head at a particularly high shelf that was out of your reach. You grabbed a step stool for him to make it easier.

Jungkook lifted up the heavy box of supplies with ease, and placed it back on the shelf. He looked down at you and smiled.

“What?” you cocked your head.

He said nothing as he leaned down and kissed your forehead, “You just look cute from up here.”

You looked away as you blushed, not knowing what to say. Jungkook laughed as he got down from the step stool. He teased you about it for the rest of the day.

Days flew by as it was getting closer and closer to Jungkook’s departure. You let Jungkook decide on what to do during his last day there. He picked you up at the bakery after your shift. He wanted to take one last stroll with you around town before he had to leave. You were about to hug him goodbye when he invited you over, saying that he had a box of popcorn he needed help finishing.

After watching a couple movies, Jungkook had his arms around you as you rested your head on his shoulder. Cuddling had become a norm between you two. Jungkook suddenly nudged your side, causing you to shriek.

“Sorry, just making sure you were still awake,” he giggled.

“I was, but now I definitely am,” you said as you returned the favor and tickled his sides.

It soon became a war of tickling as laughter erupted from both of you. Jungkook was just as ticklish as you were, making it a deadly battle. Before you knew it, you were straddling Jungkook, gripping both of his wrists in your hands. You both stared at each other as the laughter subsided, now replaced with heavy breathing. 

“You could easily knock me over, you know,” you said as you lowered your nose to his.

“What if I don’t want to?” he whispered back.

He moved his head upwards to kiss you, catching you by surprise. You kissed him back, pushing him back down. You lowered your hips to rest on his hardened crotch. You let go of his wrists to help him take off his shirt before removing your own. 

Once your lips connected again, Jungkook’s hands moved freely over your body, gently caressing your breasts. He treated you so tenderly, it made you even hornier. Your hands reached down to unzip his pants.

“Is this okay?” you paused to ask.

“Only if you take off your pants too,” he answered with a smirk.

Soon enough you were both down to just your underwear. You palmed Jungkook’s erection, curious to see it. It already felt huge in comparison to your hands.

“I want to fuck you, _____,” Jungkook groaned as you kissed his neck.

“I’m glad we want the same thing. Where do you want me?” you cooed. 

“Like this is fine,” he quickly answered. 

He helped you take off his underwear, revealing his massive dick. Your pussy clenched at the sight of it. You wriggled out of your panties and positioned yourself on top of him. 

“Ready?” you asked.

Jungkook just nodded, his eyes wide with anticipation. He gulped as he watched you slowly lower yourself onto him, taking in each inch slowly. You moaned as he went deeper and deeper in you. You hadn’t had sex in a long time (and admittedly it wasn’t very good). Now, you were sopping wet and Jungkook was filling you up perfectly. Once you reached the base of his dick, you took your time going back up.

From the look on Jungkook’s face, he was in pure bliss. You continued to tease him as you fucked him slowly. You transitioned from taking his entire length to just swiveling around his tip, making him moan from the overstimulation. Jungkook dug his nails into your lower back, begging you to take all of him in again.

You leaned back over and peppered kisses along his chest and up his neck. Jungkook whimpered at the sensation, his breathing grew uneven. You giggled at him as you suckled on his neck, leaving wet kisses in your wake. Once you had enough of teasing him, you slammed back down onto him, and both your moans filled the room. Your hips began to move faster as you bounced on top of him. Jungkook’s grip on you tightened. 

“I--I’m gonna cum,” he panicked.

You immediately hopped off, hoping to edge him. He whimpered at the loss of your warm pussy, but your plan seemed to work. His eyes begged you to get back on top. 

“Now it’s your turn to fuck me,” you demanded as you laid down on your back.

Jungkook complied and positioned himself between your legs. He bent over to kiss you while he pushed his cock back inside of you. He took his time at first, but then tried to pick up the pace. His movements were awkward and stiff, and his pelvis hit your hips in a way that you knew they were going to bruise later.

“Jungkook, just relax,” you commanded.

Jungkook steadied his breathing and took your advice. He was finally able to find a rhythm and stuck to it. Luckily, it was the perfect rhythm for you as he continuously grazed your g-spot. Jungkook moaned with every stroke as your warm insides squeezed around him. You wrapped your legs around him, bringing him even closer. You looked up at him to see that the usual sweet star filled doe eyes of his had switched to a version of pure ecstasy as he gazed down at you with blown out pupils. The change was a little jarring, but also incredibly sexy when you realized the potential duality Jungkook could have. You pulled him into a deep kiss, tongues exploring foreign regions as he pounded into you. 

“I’m gonna--,” his breath hitched.

“Cum on me baby,” you panted as you furiously rubbed your clit, desperate to cum with him.

With perfect timing, Jungkook got to feel you cum around him for a few seconds before he had to pull out and finish all over your chest. He gave you a quick peck on the cheek before scurrying off to find something to clean you with. 

He rested his head on your chest as you held him close. You were falling asleep when he said something.

“Sorry, what did you say?” you asked him since you barely heard him.

“I am, well I guess was, a virgin,” Jungkook admitted.

“Oh,” you tried to mask your surprise.

“I didn’t wanna say anything. I mean, how lame is it that I’m a college senior and have never gotten laid. You’re probably surprised huh? I’m not lying, I swear.”

“I am surprised, but only because you seem like ladies would be all over you. You’re so handsome, funny, charming--”

“Yes yes keep going,” Jungkook joked.

“--and a genuinely good guy. Plus I feel like being a photographer would help you meet a lot of pretty girls,” you reasoned.

“While all of that is true, the real reason is pretty embarrassing. I’m...I’ve always been kinda scared of girls,” Jungkook sighed as you tried to suppress your laughter, “I’m not kidding! I always get so nervous around girls, I could never actually talk to them.”

“So am I not a girl in your eyes?” you teased.

“You’re a woman,” he answered cockily.

“Shut up! I hope your first time was enjoyable. Thanks for entrusting me with your v card,” you laughed.

You both continued joking and laughing the night away until you fell asleep in each other’s arms. While that night was enjoyable, it made Jungkook’s absence hurt more. 

Life had sunk back into the same mundane routines once Jungkook left. Of course, he still kept in touch. He would text and video call you as often as he could. He’d send you pictures of his newest shooting locations, and you’d always be the first person he’d show his finished products. 

You loved witnessing Jungkook’s passion grow, he had a new spark in him that wasn’t there before. With your encouragement as an extra shove, he applied to his dream job. He explained to you that it was with an agency that would send him to a random country where he’d work with a participating magazine company. You secretly envied him for even having the possibility of exploring the world. 

Days and weeks started to blend together. Your parents insisted on having you help out more in the kitchen, presumably to get your mind off of Jungkook. 

It was a weird fling you had with him. However, it also didn’t seem like a fling. Most flings didn’t still keep in touch in a long distance “friendship”, or whatever it was you had. You were never officially dating, but it sure as hell felt that way. You cursed yourself for waiting for him to ask, you should’ve just done it yourself. Of course, part of you felt like you’d just hold him back if you guys actually ended up dating. 

These thoughts constantly swarmed your mind. Ironically, the only time you weren’t thinking about your dilemma was when you were chatting with Jungkook. The end of the semester was quickly approaching, and you could tell that he was getting antsy. He hadn’t gotten offers from anywhere that he applied. You could do nothing but give him hope but assuring him that someone somewhere will hire him. 

You watched snow fall outside when you got a call. 

“I GOT IN!!!” Jungkook exclaimed.

“What?! Where?!” you jumped up in excitement.

“My top choice! The one where they send me to another country! Guess where I’m going,” he sing songed.

“Umm… Italy?”

“Close! I’m going to España,” he said with a spanish accent.

“That’s amazing, Jungkook. I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it. When do you leave?” you asked.

“In a week. God, I’m so excited! Oh, my parents are calling. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Of course. Congrats again,” you cheered before he hung up.

Before you knew it, you were crying. You were honestly happy for Jungkook, but reality hit you. You were never going to be able to tell him that you loved him. You were never going to be with him, not while you’re stuck in this town. It sucked, but you had no choice but to accept that. 

Two days had passed since that phone call. Jungkook was probably busy packing and working out minor details, so you stayed out of his way. You figured things would probably be like this from now on. Why would he bother talking to a small town girl while he’s out exploring the world? 

You were restocking the milk puddings rolls when the front bell chimed. 

“I’ll be with you in a second,” you called out.

“No worries, I’ll wait all day if I have to,” a familiar voice responded.

You dropped the rolls as you turned around with lightning fast speed. Jungkook stood at the doorway, beaming a big bunny smile at you. You ran to him, embracing him in a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead. 

“Surprise,” he smiled.

“What are you doing here?” you asked as you wiped tears from your eyes.

“I needed to see you. I was planning on coming back and surprising you even before I left. You didn’t think I’d leave without saying goodbye, did you?” he ruffled your hair, “Oh, and those tiger flowers are beautiful,” he nodded over to the flower bouquet on the checkout counter.

“I got them because they reminded me of you,” you blushed, your ears turning red.

“Did I hear Jungkook?” you mom poked her head out of the kitchen, “Oh my goodness! Honey look! Jungkook is back!” she called your dad. 

Your parents came out to greet him. He explained everything to them, and they congratulated him. 

“How long will you be here? Aren’t you leaving soon?” your dad inquired.

“I leave tomorrow night. I wish I could stay longer,” Jungkook answered solemnly. 

“____ suddenly doesn’t have to work until after you’ve left,” your mom smiled fondly at you.

Your eyes lit up as you kissed your parents on the cheek to thank them. After grabbing your jacket, you took Jungkook’s hand and dragged him out. You both aimlessly walked around the town as you chatted. He went more in depth with the details of his job. He was most excited about capturing photos of the city. After looking up some pictures of the architecture, he immediately fell in love with Madrid.

Jungkook invited you over to watch some of the short films he worked on over the past semester. While they were just videos of his friends with no plot, you could feel their friendship seeping through the screen. The way Jungkook played with music and colors really enhanced the already well shot video. You felt at peace sitting beside Jungkook on his bed as he showed you all his past projects. Part of you wished that this moment would never end. 

“You’ve made me a better person, you know,” Jungkook said out of nowhere, “I’m more talkative around my friends, and I’ve gotten more comfortable with being myself.”

“I didn’t do anything, that’s all you,” you smiled as you poked his chest. 

“You definitely helped,” he ran his fingers through your hair, “I love you, ____.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

“I love you too. I thought I’d never get to say that,” you said with a sigh of relief. 

He looked into your eyes before leaning forward slowly. You’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, you practically pounced on him. You kissed him passionately, as if to show him how much you missed him. Clothes were thrown in every direction leading to bare skin being exposed.

Jungkook’s soft hands roamed across your body as if he were trying to memorize your every curve. His touch was a bit rougher than the last time, his lips crashed against yours as he pinched your nipples. You couldn’t tell if it was desperation, carnal lust, or just a new side of Jungkook, but you didn’t mind in the slightest. His erection pressed against your thigh as your hands tangled themselves in his dark hair. You reached down to grab his cock, gripping from the base and slowly dragging your hand to the tip and then back down. He shuddered at the sensation, moaning into your mouth. 

“Should I get on top?” you batted your eyes.

“Nope, I have a better idea,” Jungkook growled as he flipped you over onto your knees, “Can I fuck you like this?”

“Fuck me however you want,” you answered gleefully. 

Jungkook rammed into you without hesitation. He firmly gripped your hips to keep you in place as he thrusted into you. His dick sent waves of ecstasy as he crashed into you. He surprised you when he reached his hand around you to play with your clit, causing you to squirm under him.

“Be a good girl and stay still,” he ordered. 

His newfound dominance turned you on. He was no longer the baby boy that followed your every move, although you were sure that side of him was still there somewhere. You got lost in pleasure and didn’t realize how far gone you were till you felt liquid dripping down your inner thighs.

“You’re so fucking wet baby. All this for me?” Jungkook panted as he continued snapping his hips into you.

“Mhm, of course. Only for you,” you managed to moan out between thrusts.

“That’s my good girl. Get up,” he demanded as he hopped off the bed. 

You obeyed, curious as to what he was going to do. As soon as you got off the bed, he spun you around and pushed your chest back over the covers. He slipped back into you with ease, groaning as your slick juices coated his cock. This new position enabled Jungkook to directly hit your g-spot with each thrust. Again, his hand wrapped around your waist to find your clit. His other hand found purchase on your neck, slightly choking you. The overstimulation had you crying out in bliss that you had never experienced before.  

You were practically gushing now as your wetness ran down your legs and sprayed onto Jungkook’s thighs with each strong impact.  Jungkook lifted up one of your legs onto the bed, spreading your pussy.

“Now touch yourself for me,” Jungkook directed.

He didn’t have to tell you twice. Your legs started to shake as you played with your clit at the perfect pace while Jungkook drilled into you. You were sure that you had already came numerous times by this point, but you could feel the grand finale soon approaching.   

“Jungkook I--” you didn’t get a chance to finish your sentence as you climaxed onto his dick. He was infatuated with the way you looked from behind, and he couldn’t get enough of it. He pushed you back onto the bed with your legs still hanging from the edge. He reinserted himself while you laid there, completely delusional from the pounding you had been receiving. 

“You’re such a sexy woman,” he moaned as he anchored the weight of his arms onto your shoulders. 

He continued his torment downwards. Your bountiful cheeks bounced back and forth while he repeatedly rammed into your g-spot causing you to release more of the juices his massive cock craved. 

 He slowed his pace but still kept going to help you ride out your high for as long as possible. The sensation of you cumming on him was enough to bring him right to the brink of no return.

“Can I cum on you?” he pleaded in a tone all too familiar to you.

“Please do,” you nodded.

“God, you’re so sexy,” he said as he gave you a couple more hard thrusts before pulling out and coating your ass with white strings. 

Jungkook held you in his arms after wiping you down with a towel, both of your chests heaving in sync. You both managed to work up a sweat, but Jungkook still smelled amazing. He played with your hair as your eyelids started to get heavy. 

“_____,” he whispered softly.

“Yes, Jungkook?” you replied with your eyes still closed. 

“Come with me.”

“What?” your eyes shot open. 

“Come with me to Spain. I know it sounds crazy, but I don’t care. You’ll finally get the adventure you’ve always wanted, and we’ll do it together,” he kissed your forehead. 

His unexpected proposition had you overwhelmed. You were speechless. You would go with him in a heartbeat. It wouldn’t matter where you’d go, as long as you were with him. 

“Jungkook...you know I can’t do that,” you fought back tears, nuzzling yourself further into his chest. 

“I wanted to ask your parents as soon as I arrived but you rushed me out too quickly and--”

“I can’t leave them, you know that,” silent tears rolled down your cheeks. 

“I think they’d understand. Plus, you’ve said that they’ve tried to convince you to go to college,” Jungkook was getting desperate, he thought you’d agree on the spot.

“They need my help now more than ever. My parents are getting old. As much as I want to leave this place, I can’t. I’m going to be stuck here forever. I’m so sorry, Jungkook,” you wept.

“It’s okay, ___. We can ask them tomorrow, how does that sound?” he rubbed your back. 

“No, I can’t do that to them. You know they’ll say yes. I have to stay,” you sniffled.

“You’re a great daughter. I can’t force you to come with me. I’ll miss you. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone,” Jungkook’s voice started to falter.

“Don’t worry about me. Go live out your life. Eat great food. Take beautiful pictures. Meet pretty girls,” you tried to lighten the mood.

“You think I want to meet pretty girls? Why would I do that when I have you,” he hugged you tightly.

“We aren’t even dating, Jungkook. I don’t want to hinder you more than I already have,” you blurted. 

“I...I know we aren’t dating. Not officially. But that’s just a stupid label. I want to be with you,” Jungkook’s voice softened to hide his pain. 

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” you said as you got up.

Jungkook immediately pulled you back into him. Your nose brushed against his wet cheek, causing you to freeze up when you realized that he had also been crying.

“Please stay with me. At least just for tonight,” he pleaded.

“Alright. I can do that,” you softly kiss him. 

You woke up the next morning with your head on Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook looked adorable while he was asleep, with his mouth agape and his hair falling messily over his forehead. You tried to inch away, but he just pulled you closer, making it impossible to escape. 

He woke up with a yawn a couple minutes later. He smiled down at you before ruffling your hair.

“Jungkook, I’m sorry about last night. I--”

“Let’s not talk about it. This is my last day with you for god knows how long. Let’s just enjoy ourselves, okay?” he interrupted you.

It had been three years since that spring when you met Jungkook. You sometimes reminisce about the times you had with Jeon Jungkook. It honestly felt like a dream. Communication with him slowly faded away, and now the only conversations you had with him were one message long during birthdays and holidays. You kept up with him more through Instagram. He regularly uploaded his beautiful pictures, and you could tell that his talent only grew. He had a knack for making dull buildings and streets come to life. 

Your parents planned to retire soon, leaving you to tend to the bakery by yourself. They mainly managed the front-of-house work during the busy hours now. Their goal was to finally sell the bakery, but you protested against it. As much as you wanted to be rid of the chains that tied you down, you were scared. You didn’t know what you would do if the bakery was suddenly gone. It was all you’ve ever known. 

Ever since your parents announced their retirement plans, you started to dabble in pastry making. They were impressed with your skills, and your creations got added to the menu. Word spread that the already famous bakery was now carrying delicious pastries, and business soared. 

You were busy decorating your latest desserts when your mother came into the kitchen.

“Your father and I have to go run a quick errand, we’ll be back soon!” she said before giving you time to protest. You grumbled to yourself as you placed strawberries on your cakes, praying that no one would come in.

“Hello? Anyone here? The sign says open,” someone called from the front.

‘God dammit’, you thought before putting on a fake customer service smile. 

“Welcome to--” you stopped in your tracks.

Jungkook was standing in the middle of your bakery, looking even more handsome than you had remembered him. His face lit up as soon as he saw you. You couldn’t help yourself as you ran towards him, colliding into him with a forceful hug.

“I hear you sell desserts now,” he grinned.

“Jungkook! What are you doing here? Your hair, it’s so long! And...do you have tattoos now?!” you were in shock. 

“Do I look more artsy now?” he laughed, “I came to see you. I wanted to try your desserts too, of course. No one would believe me when I said nothing can compare to your family’s bakery. Oh, I have a present for you.”

You became giddy with excitement as Jungkook brought out a brown paper bag and handed it to you. You pulled out prints of a beautiful girl standing in a forest. Wait...it looked familiar…

“Is this me?” you asked as your mouth hung open.

“Yeah, these are the pictures from when you took me on that picnic. Would you believe me if I said I barely had to touch anything up? They were already nearly perfect,” Jungkook said proudly.

“It’s because you’re a talented photographer,” you smiled.  

“That, and because I had the perfect model. How could I not ask the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen to model for me?” he said as he tucked your hair behind your ear.

“So I wasn’t just practice?” you recalled asking him about it all those years ago.

“I was so nervous back then, I couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth,” he laughed, “I’m much more open now.”

You promptly switched the ‘OPEN’ sign to ‘CLOSED’ and sat Jungkook down. You brought out one of your fresh strawberry cakes, eager to hear his opinion. His face contorted with pleasure as he took the first bite. He complimented the flavors and textures, saying that everything tasted like perfect harmony. You laughed together as he shared stories of his time abroad. He intently listened while you opened up about the struggles of the bakery. 

“Anyway, that’s enough complaining for now. I’m happy you’re back! How long are you staying for this time?” you tilted your head. 

“Depends,” Jungkook answered as he gazed out the window. He looked back at you with a serious expression. He quickly grabbed your hand and pulled you close, bringing your face just inches away from his.

“Do you still want to explore the world?” he asked.

“Of course, that’ll never change. But...you know I can’t,” you answered somberly. 

“After everything you just told me, you still think you have to stay here?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow, “My next gig is going to be in France. Come with me this time, _____.”

You stared at him with a stunned expression. You thought he had forgotten about you. Now here he is, asking you to run away with him again.

“Why did you lose touch? I thought you had moved on. I made peace with that. God, it hurt like hell, but I came to terms with it. And now we’re doing this again,” your voice cracked as tears welled in your eyes.

“Honestly, it hurt me too much. I couldn’t bear talking to you every day or video chatting you, without knowing when I’d see you next. I never stopped thinking about you. I tried. I tried to forget...but no one could ever come close to you,” Jungkook cupped your cheek in his palm, “There’s a really good patissiere academy close to where I’ll be working. You could go there and sharpen your skills! Then maybe one day open up a bakery of your own...if you wanted.”

“But what about my parents--”

“Stop using us as an excuse to hold yourself back,” your mom scolded you as she entered the bakery.

“Did you like your surprise?” your dad winked.

“You knew?” you were bewildered.

“Jungkook contacted us a while back, asking if we thought his plan could ever be a possibility. I figured you were still head over heels for him since you never dated anyone else,” your mom shrugged.

“If you want to go, go. Don’t worry about us. We can sell the bakery, and finally retire,” your dad said. 

“You have your parents’ blessing, ____. This decision is entirely up to you. What’s it gonna be? Will you come with me to France?” Jungkook asked again.

“I..,” you looked at your parents before your eyes wandered back to Jungkook, “Yes. I’d love to,” tears of joy rolled down your cheeks.

Jungkook got up and embraced you in a tight hug before he whispered, “I’ve missed you so much,” in your ear. 

“Well, we better start packing,” Jungkook turned to your parents.

“Packing? Already?” your eyes widened. 

“We leave by the end of the week!” Jungkook gleefully took your hand and dashed out of the store. 

Jungkook dragged you through the town up to your house. You couldn’t help but smile as you watched his long hair bounce around while you ran. You could’ve sworn that sometimes they looked like bunny ears.

He was definitely Jungkook, but he seemed like the upgraded version of the shy boy you once knew. He had a new confident aura around him, and he seemed more manly than boyish now. Everything was happening so quickly, but you were nothing but excited for the adventures to come. 

As long as Jungkook was by your side, you were ready to take on the world. 

Published March 26, 2021. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2021 Baepsaesbae.

[angeldcgs]

it would take time, but bronte had full confidence that she could manage to melt through even the coldest of protective outer shells. she would have gus captive within her little complex, with plenty of opportunities to indoctrinate him into her way of life, slowly gaining his favor as he saw that she wasn't the dastardly villain he painted her out to be, but an altruistic, genuine person with pure intentions. they wanted the same thing, at the end of the day; for his brother to be safe and comfortable, and for the two to live a life of relative freedom. the big difference was their view of what "freedom" meant but surely he would come to see things her way over time. lips pursed in disappointment as gus turned down her offer, though she was expecting as much. still, she had to extend the olive branch, if for nothing else than to make sure he knew he was wanted just as much as rufus was. "that's alright," she brushed off her disappointment with a shrug and an easy smile. "you'll have to let me cook for you at some point, though. i'm guessing you don't get many home cooked meals at the shelter..." the way to a man's heart wasn't directly through his stomach, but she'd found that cooking for someone always helped soften them up at least a little bit. at least he seemed more fixated on her than his brother, though whether that be to keep an eye on the snake to make sure it didn't strike, or because he really was somewhat intrigued by her, bronte couldn't quite place. "anytime! get home safe." it wouldn't be his home for much longer, but the sentiment was all the same. now alone with rufus, she directed her gaze down at him laid on her lap, allowing him to let off some steam with a knowing smile. "it's just because he cares about you... he's had to look after you for so long, he doesn't know how to let go and allow you to make your own decisions. old habits die hard, y'know?" following his guidance, she began gently stroking his hair, petting him like a spoiled house cat while he continued to go off on his brother, allowing him to get it out of his system rather than trying to redirect his energy elsewhere. he seemed to come to his senses of his own volition, cutting himself off mid-sentence and taking a deep breath to reset his emotions back to a neutral state just as she'd taught him. "don't get all worked up over it. you got what you wanted, right?" she reminded him gently, trying to reframe his frustration into something positive. it was all too easy to set him off into a downward spiral, but she was pleased to see that her teachings had at least somewhat began to have an effect on him. just like with his brother, he needed much more time to fully heal from a lifetime of trauma and repression, and lucky for him, bronte had all the time in the world to devote to him. "mmmm... i was thinking pasta? i just got this fancy pesto from the farmer's market, i could roast some chicken, maybe make some garlic bread? or we could always order delivery if you wanna try something new." the hand brushing through his hair came around to gently stroke his cheek, gazing down at him with a fondness reserved only for him. "you name it, i'll make it happen. we are celebrating, after all."

after spending every day together since they were children, it was hard to imagine that he would no longer share the kind of closeness with rufus that they used to. granted, their closeness was a result of their father's overbearing nature, but even with their fights, gus was certain that he wouldn't have survived out there on his own for as long as he had without feeling like his brother needed him. that feeling was no longer prevalent though, rufus had found someone else who could look after him and fulfil other needs that his brother couldn't, leaving gus out of the job and forced into searching for a new purpose. if only his brother had found someone trustworthy, someone who didn't seem to have a habit of picking up lonesome little strays, maybe then gus wouldn't have fought so hard to pull him away. he tried to tame the look of disgust on his face over their brazen displays of affection for each other but it was to little use, and it only grew as bronte winked across at him and invited him to stay. as crazy as it was, he was eager to get back to the shelter and enjoy one last night of his idea of freedom before becoming shackled once again thanks to rufus' endless need for attention. "no thanks." with that, gus stood up and brought his half-finished bottle of beer with him, quickly downing what was left before placing it down. "i think i'll leave you two to it." he looked over to his brother but found his eyes still focused on bronte, as though he wasn't in the room at all. gus swallowed back his annoyance and forced a smile onto his tense features. "thanks for the beer." with that, gus left with no fuss at all, with only the door slamming shut behind him an indicator of his true feelings.

"he is such an asshole." rufus sighed dramatically a few long seconds after the door slammed closed, then dropped his head down into bronte's lap like a ragdoll. only his brother, king of the self-righteous pricks, could find a way to be disappointed about the opportunity to move out from the shelter into a luxurious home the likes of which they had never seen before. no need to slave away with jobs they hated, existing just to put food on the table, they had a proper chance at fulfilment now and rufus was going to grab it with both hands even if gus wanted to refuse. "always treating me like i'm a kid..." he clumsily reached up to grab bronte's hand, then brought it down to rest atop his head so she could stroke through his unruly curls. "don't take any of his shit personally... i don't think he's ever liked something in his whole life. his brain would probably explode with the effort not to be such an uptight-" before he could continue his tirade, rufus forced himself to take a moment, like bronte had taught him to do when he got too overly excited, and took in a long breath in through his nose then out from his mouth. there was no point in continuing to rant and rave about gus, he was impossible and while he had bronte all to himself, the last thing he wanted to do was waste that time talking about his brother. "what're we having for dinner?" rufus flopped over so that he could peer up at her from his place comfy on her lap. after spending his entire life living off of hunted animals and foraged plants, the elaborate meals of normal people were a new and exciting prospect to him.

[gravesightings]

May I request the slasher’s reaction to their s/o getting a bad haircut! (btw hope your day/night is going well).

of course! and things have been going well, thank you. 💖

slashers reactions to: their s/o getting a bad haircut

Asa Emory / The Collector

depending on whether or not you actually consulted him beforehand, this could go two ways.

if you didn't, he'd be upset. who gave you permission to have your hair cut? why didn't you ask him first? does he need to remind you of your place again?

Asa might leave you be for a couple of days depending on how drastic the change is. if it can be remedied easily, he'll have you beg for forgiveness but if not - don't be offended when he starts bringing you wigs. actually, he won't care either way. this is your fault.

if it's something you two have talked over then he's a lot more sympathetic about it. especially if you feel insecure over it. it's not so bad actually. if you're lucky you might catch him fiddling with your hair while you sleep.

overall he's indifferent to it. it's just hair? it's not the end of the world. just be thankful that he has no interest in experimenting with hair implants.

Billy Lenz

it might seem like he wouldn't notice but he's actually quite perceptive to these kinds of things. Billy is absolutely the type to notice any sort of physical change no matter how subtle it is.

unsurprisingly, this is because he spends almost all of his time watching you. of course he's bound to notice!

he'll definitely point it out but he'd either be neutral or mildly upset about it. if he dislikes it, you would know immediately because he would pull your hair and demand answers.

if it's not that big of a difference and he's craving a bit of your company Billy would want to brush your hair for you! isn't he sweet? unless of course it gets tangled, then you might actually end up looking worse. (unless you teach him how to do it properly.)

if he's feeling more gracious than usual he might even offer to remedy it! whether or not you decide to indulge him is entirely up to you. there's a slim chance he would actually be good at it but denying him isn't recommended either..

Bo Sinclair

there's no sugar-coating it. Bo will laugh at you. he might even point it out to his brothers if you look especially funny.

did you go to a blind hairdresser? head got stuck in a lawnmower? got attacked by a bunch of bloodthirsty birds? you're never going to hear the end of it. he's never going to let this go even after your hair grows out.

would constantly tease you about it but it's mostly out of love. he might even come up with cute nicknames for you depending on how badly you messed up your haircut.

if someone else tries to make fun of you though that's an entirely different story. only he can call you ugly duckling! if someone else does it then he's ready to crack someone's skull open.

denies he was doing anything to defend you. Bo would just claim that they were being too loud for his liking. it had nothing to do with you. nope. not at all. "it's 'cause your hair's so damn ugly that they died on the spot."

Brahms Heelshire

what have you done?! this is MUTINY! he's been BETRAYED! dramatically reaches out to feel your hair with his trembling fingers.

this is all so wrong... so very wrong. at first he would only be able to stare at you in utter disbelief. as if you've spat at his face and insulted his entire bloodline.

Brahms takes it as a personal attack against him. sure, he can be a handful at times but he'd never thought you'd be this cruel! it might take some thorough explaining that no, actually you hadn't intended to end up like this.

regardless he would be very upset. he's rather fond of your hair and if it was longer before and much shorter now, he might not be able to recover from it until it grows back. Brahms is a bit shallow, you see.

when your hair does eventually grow out expect him to treat you like a ticking time bomb. he can't possibly trust you with keeping it pristine now! it's decided. Brahms would just have to cut your hair for you. unlike Billy though, he has slightly more experience since he cuts his own hair so you might not have to worry too much.

Bubba Sawyer

Bubba absolutely adores you either way! literally nothing can convince him otherwise. he might even get upset if you tell him it's ugly. no no no, you can't possibly be ugly! you're his s/o! you look wonderful no matter what!

as for the rest of the family... the twins love it too! they might even call you a trendsetter. they might come off as patronizing if you haven't been around that long to know them but they're actually genuinely into it. it's fun and quirky and nobody else has it! what do you mean you look bad?

Drayton is a lot less enthusiastic about it. he'll throw in an insult here and there but nothing too harsh unless it's getting in the way of your chores. if it bothers you so much he might actually shave all of your hair off. (don't worry! Bubba will protect you!)

if you're adamant about remedying your look then Bubba would offer to help. unfortunately he has little to no experience with cutting hair. he was the one offering his help but.. are you sure you want him to do this? he's more worried about accidentally snipping your ear off than he is ruining your look.

Bubba wouldn't really understand if you happen to be worked up about it. he truly, wholeheartedly thinks that you look gorgeous no matter what you do with your appearance. it's still you under there after all!

Jason Voorhees

he'd be surprised at first but will try to play it cool if you become self-conscious. points at something just above your head. he wasn't staring at your hair, he was looking at...uh. that bird up that tree! it flew away when you looked... too bad..

like Bubba, Jason loves you no matter how you look. big boy does not care at all. things will stay pretty much the same. he’s not the type to make a big deal about it just because you look a little different.

he would make sure to shower you with compliments if he catches you fussing over your appearance though. bring in the gifts! he picked up this cool hat for you, do you want it? how about these hair clips? he wants to help as much as he can.

Jason would not want to fix it for you but it’s not like he can deny you when you’re asking for his help. what if he messes it up? what if you get mad at him? what if he accidentally hurts you? it’s too risky. he doesn’t even know how to! hopefully his many concerns would be enough to convince you to just let it be.

if not, well.. his hands would be trembling the entire time. this poor man would be scared to death to snip even a single strand of your hair. why would you put him through this? not only would it take him hours before doing anything noticeable, he would be in a constant state of dread the entire time.

Jesse Cromeans / Chromeskull

WHEEZE. babe, what happened? who did you offend? he’s very desperately trying not to laugh at you but he’s failing. what a gentleman. Jesse would inspect the damage - totally not struggling to hide his laughter - before claiming that he hadn’t noticed anything until you pointed it out.

he’ll tease you about it, asking if you’ve been out making enemies behind his back. he won’t be as much of an asshole as Bo per se but he’s not about to pass up the opportunity to get a reaction from you.

Jesse is more of a romantic about it, holding you close and placing a palm on your chest. what matters to him is this, he signs. ...your tits. oh and your heart too, but that’s just a bonus. he’s kidding! stop hitting him! (claims to have planned this just to make you smile all along. sneaky bastard.)

if it’s something that bothers you, he’ll have a hairdresser come over for a home service. why are you surprised? were you expecting him to bring you to the salon? the barbers? why would he do something like that? he’s offended!

now you’ve done it - you’ve bruised his ego. the man’s just showing off at this point. within the short period of time the hairdresser took to fix your little problem, Jesse somehow managed to get more people involved. they’re wheeling all sorts of expensive-looking equipment in. one claims they’re a nail technician and the other a masseuse. oh you had plans today? too bad, you're getting pampered and that’s final.

Michael Myers

if it’s really bad then he might let out a small chuckle but that’s pretty much it. the most he’ll do is run his fingers through your hair. Michael doesn’t really care all that much for appearance either.

but he’s not as eager to console you like the rest of the slashers are. if it’s a bad haircut then it’s bad - he’s not the type to beat around the bush. “do you think I look stupid?” he’ll nod. if you react negatively to that he’ll just shrug. you asked! what do you want him to do, lie?

Michael would help you out if you asked but it’s ill-advised. he’s decent with a pair of scissors but he’s going to keep cutting shorter and shorter until you either stop him or you run out of hair. (there’s no guarantee he’ll stop even if you asked nicely.) clearly this is your fault. why would you trust him with a pair of scissors?

this should be obvious but do not let him anywhere near your hair with anything sharp. he might take matters in his own hands if he sees how fixated you are with your haircut. if it’s that bad, he’ll snip away while you sleep. Michael would be careful not to wake you.

overall you’re almost guaranteed to have an awful time if Michael decides he wants to do something about it. he’s not going to make fun of you but you’re going to wish he did instead of butchering your precious mane.

Thomas Hewitt

oh, honey... what happened? he’ll set you on his lap to give you a good look-over. Tommy is not all too concerned about how you look but how you feel about it so he’ll help in any way he can. if you’re upset about it he’ll press a quick kiss on the crown of your head to reassure you.

nothing a little trim can’t fix! as good as he is with his hands, he has almost no experience with hair so he would have to ask Luda Mae for help. he’ll be there too don’t you worry your pretty little head!

Luda Mae would coo at you affectionately, earning a disapproving “tsk, tsk.“ at the poor soul who had done this to you. they would be the talk of the town. if you somehow did this to yourself, then she’ll scold you out of love. why didn’t you ask her instead? after the whole ordeal is sorted out though she’ll beam with pride when you comment on how good it turned out.

Hoyt is most likely going to chide on how badly you messed it up if you were the one responsible but if it was someone else, you best believe he’d be out of the door in search for the s.o.b. what kind of hairdresser would do such a half-assed job?

if you’re not quite close to the family yet, Tommy would do it but he’s unfortunately not as good as Luda Mae. he won’t be as bad as Michael though so you can still save whatever dignity you have left.

Vincent Sinclair

unsurprisingly, he’s the mature one out of the bunch and like Tommy, he’s more concerned about how you feel instead of how you look. he would immediately try to fix it - you won’t even have to ask. Vincent won’t even give you time to actually feel bad about it, that’s how much he cares about you.

he usually doesn’t alter his victims’ appearances so he doesn’t have much experience but he’s not about to tell you that! his caring side would definitely override his lack of confidence. congrats! Vincent does a pretty good job. he would even give you a trim if you asked.

if you somehow ran into his brothers first then there’s no escaping it. Bo’s going to laugh at you. Lester wouldn’t really insult you but he’ll poke fun at you, saying that it would be much easier to find you now, much to Bo’s amusement. luckily for you, they’d made enough ruckus to draw out Vincent.

Vincent wouldn’t necessarily defend you from his brothers, just silently tug you somewhere else - prompting Bo to call him out for being a killjoy. unfortunately since he’s used to his brothers picking at him he’ll expect you to do the same. afterwards he won’t take long to fix your haircut.

this isn’t going to stop Bo from calling you names though. Lester wouldn’t do it but he’s not exactly opposed to what he assumes is just friendly banter. they’re unlikely to cross the line since they know how much you mean to Vincent so unless you’re especially sensitive, then it’s nothing too serious.

[calpalirwin]

(Don’t) Leave Me in the Dark

Summary: When Bucky gets turned into the Winter Soldier, Steve has a plan for dragging his old friend out of the darkness: you.

A/N: Heavily inspired by Repeat by Luke Hemmings.

Word Count: 8.1k

And away, and away we go!

__

1943

Y/N’s eyes watched the crowd, flickering from person to person. Studying. Observing. And yes, maybe even ogling as her gaze locked in on two men in particular: a tall, strapping brunette in a sergeant’s uniform, and a scrawny blonde man with a stance designed to make him appear bigger than he actually was.

“You can do more than just look, you know,” a voice said in her ear, making her jump slightly.

“Stark,” she scolded with a soft giggle. “I’m working.”

“So am I. It’s called mixing business with pleasure. And there’s no harm in it. Especially when they look as good as that one.” Howard shot the woman a wink, jerking with his chin towards the soldier she couldn’t stop staring at. “A sergeant, too? A girl’s got taste.”

“I was actually looking at his friend,” Y/N half-lied.

Howard snorted, not believing the lie for a single second. “Oh really?”

She straightened her shoulders. “Yes, really. He’d be a perfect candidate.”

“You SHIELD agents are all the same. Always plotting and planning, and never enjoying,” he told you with a roll of his eyes. “Gentlemen!” he then called out loudly, grabbing the mens’ attention, the blonde pointing a finger at himself. “Yes, you two right there! Come take a gander at all that Stark Industries has to offer.”

Y/N’s eyes went wide as the men approached, and she could have killed Howard right then and there, but the men were growing closer, and oh! the brunette’s eyes were such a pretty shade of blue as they drank her in. “And would you be talking about the newest technology for the war, or the dames, Stark?” the soldier asked with a laugh, his stare still fixated on Y/N.

“She’s not one of mine,” Howard told him. “Which is unfortunate because Y/N is as smart as they come. Which is why SHIELD got their hands on her before I did.”

“SHIELD,” the blonde said. “That’s the government agency, yes?”

“That would be us, yes,” Y/N answered. “Interested in joining? We could use someone like you.”

“Really?” he questioned at the same time his friend let out a bark of laughter.

“Yes, really,” she said, ignoring the brunette. “If contributing to the war effort is something that’s important to you.”

“Oh, it’s important to both of us,” the sergeant told her.

“Yes, and it would seem that one of you has already managed to make their contribution, soldier,” she said, eyeing his uniform purposefully.

“It’s Sergeant,” he corrected. “Sergeant James B. Barnes, if you want specifics. But if you’re lucky, I’ll let you call me ‘Bucky’.”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” she provided in turn, shifting her attention back to blonde. “And you?”

“Steve. Steve Rogers.”

“Give SHIELD a call, Rogers. I promise it’ll be worth your while. Mention Operation Rebirth when you do.”

“Yes ma’am. Thank you,” Steve said with a smile.

“Of course. Gentlemen,” Y/N gave a small nod to both Howard and Steve before turning to Bucky. “Bucky. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” With that, she walked off leaving Steve happy with his hopeful opportunity to at long-last join the war effort, Howard shaking his head at her antics, and Bucky completely in over his head about her.

~~~

1944

Y/N frowned as she looked over the debriefing. “So not only does Hydra have it’s hands on the same serum we created, they also are using it on POWs? Essentially turning our own men against us? Is that what you’re telling me?” she demanded, her voice sharp as she waved the folder in her hand.

“Yes, ma’am,” the agent told her, nodding their head, eyes wide with fear.

She slammed the folder on her desk. “So who’s going in to get our men back?”

“N-no one ma’am. General said it’s too dangerous. Waste of resources.”

“Well you tell the General that he c-”

Her threat got cut off by a new voice. “What do you mean the 107th got captured a month ago?! Do we know where their location is?!”

The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but Y/N couldn’t quite place it. The voice that answered the man, however, she could place. “Yes, we have their location. However-” Peggy Carter spoke.

“However what?” the man asked. “You’re not staging a rescue mission? Those are our men!”

“You want me to tell the General what, ma’am?” the agent still standing in front of Y/N piped up awkwardly.

Y/N waved her hand at the agent in frustration. “You’re dismissed,” she told them before shouldering past and out the tent.

Sure enough, just outside the tent stood Peggy Carter and a tall blonde man, a wooden shield hanging off his arm. “Ah, Y/N,” Peggy smiled. “Might I introduce you to Captain America?”

Y/N looked up at the man, him both familiar and a stranger. He regarded her with the same look of confused recognition. “Steve,” he said, extending his hand to her. “Pleasure to meet you, Y/N.”

“Steve, Steve Rogers, Steve?” she asked, shaking his hand. “Scrawny kid from Brooklyn, Steve?”

Steve gave a slightly embarrassed chuckle. “The one and only.”

Y/N shot Peggy an excited look. “The serum worked?!”

“I knew your name seemed familiar!” Steve beamed, now understanding how he felt that he knew the woman. “Thanks for the recommendation.”

“I’m glad it worked!” Then, the excitement vanished as she remembered the folder in her hand. If their serum worked, then that meant… “Oh, no… Peggy, I need to talk to you. It’s urgent.”

Peggy raised an eyebrow in silent question, her eyes flickering to the folder. “Oh, yes. I wanted to talk to you about that as well.”

“They have our men. Why isn’t the General sending in a rescue squad?”

“Which men?” Steve asked.

Y/N opened the folder, running her finger down the document, rattling off a couple of squadrons, “... 107th Infantry Regiment…”

“That’s Bucky!” Steve interrupted. “That’s Bucky’s unit.”

“Your friend,” Y/N recalled. “The brunette who’s too good-looking for his own good?”

Steve spared a wry smile, “That’d be him.”

“Why isn’t the General sending in a rescue squad?” Y/N asked Peggy again. “Do you know how dangerous this could be? How much it compromises all the work we’ve done?”

“Yes, Y/N, I’m aware. The General however-”

“The General doesn’t know his left from his right!”

Peggy sighed. “He can’t spare the men.”

“So what do we do then?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. We’re getting a team of SHIELD agents to rescue the POWs at a known Hydra base nearby.”

“This nearby Hydra base that contains the 107th?” Steve asked.

“Yes,” both women told him.

“I want in.”

It took two weeks for the plan to come to fruition. Armed with volunteers hellbent on revenge and a handful of SHIELD agents, Steve led the group in infiltrating the Hydra base. It was a mission with two prongs. Prong one involved Steve and the soldiers locating the POWs and getting them out. Prong two involved the SHIELD agents destroying any and all progress Hydra was making with the serum.

Y/N and Peggy waited back at a basecamp they had set up closer to the Hydra base without drawing unwanted attention. “Oh, would you stop with the incessant tapping of your foot?” Peggy asked in an exasperated tone. “They’ll be back when they get back.”

“There’s too many unknowns,” Y/N answered, moving to picking at her fingernails.

“Mmm, and these nerves would have nothing to do about seeing Steve’s friend again, would they?”

“No…?” Y/N said slowly. “What does Steve’s friend have to do with any of this? Where’d you get that idea from?”

“Steve. He mentioned the story of you meeting the both of them in New York. Something about an unknown potential between you and the sergeant.”

“Mmm, and we’re growing close to Steve, are we?” Y/N returned the teasing.

“Steve and I are merely work acquaintances. Much like how you and I are.”

“Tell that to Steve. He fancies you something awful.”

While Peggy and Y/N continued to tease each other about Bucky and Steve, the men were on their way back, having a similar conversation of their own.

“So… how did you become this?” Bucky had to ask, sweeping a hand up and down Steve. “A year apart, and you go and have a growth spurt on me?”

Steve chuckled. “Uh, do you remember Y/N from New York? The woman with Stark who told me to talk to SHIELD?”

“You mean the bombshell dame that I should have asked to dance? Oh, yeah,” Bucky smiled dreamily.

Steve chuckled more. “Well, her telling me to go to SHIELD turned me into this. An experimental serum to create the perfect soldier. And I guess it worked, because here I am.”

“Mmm, is there where you crush my spirits and say that you took Y/N dancing? I mean, surely if you caught her eye when you were the scrawny kid from Brooklyn…”

“No,” Steve said with a shake of his head. “Plus, I think she was only interested in me because of the experiment. And my eyes are on someone else. A different SHIELD agent.”

“Oh?” Bucky grinned, nudging his shoulder into Steve. “Look at you! A little serum, and suddenly you’re a ladies man. You’re all grown up.”

“And you’re still the same, I see,” Steve laughed.

Bucky laughed along with Steve, but the laugh didn’t hold the same trace of humor. “Yeah… So, tell me about this new lady.”

“Peggy. She’s wonderful. Smart. Fierce. And she’s here. Y/N is too.”

“Y/N’s here?”

“Yeah. A lot of SHIELD agents are. I was a little surprised to see her myself. I mean, I only saw her that night in New York, same as you. I almost didn’t recognize her at first. I’m shocked she remembered me at all.”

“She’s here?” Bucky repeated.

“Yes,” Steve nodded. Then, “And yes, she still looks like she’s available. So if you wanted to ask her for that dance, now would be your chance.”

Bucky gave a shy scoff of a laugh, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I dunno about all that.”

“I thought you wanted to dance with her?”

“I do! But… Look, there’s a reason I didn’t ask her in New York. I was leaving for here. I didn’t want to risk either of us getting attached, and then something happening to me. I mean, imagine if I had asked her to dance, and we started exchanging letters, and then she stopped hearing from me. I couldn’t do that to her.”

“So, you were going to hope that when the war’s over you’d be able to find her?”

“Yeah. A girl like that deserves stability, Steve. No matter how badly I might wanna share a dance or two with her.”

“Well, you can tell her all that yourself if you like,” Steve told him, nodding his head in the direction of a camp coming into view. “Cause she’s here, here.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide. “No! And you don’t tell her either, you understand me?! I’ll tell her when I’m ready. When the time’s right.”

Steve gave a roll of his eyes. “Whatever you say, Buck.”

“Steve?” Peggy asked, rising from her seat, hearing the voices as they drew closer. “Y/N, I think they’re here.”

With a sigh, Y/N also stood up, following Peggy out of the tent, watching a large group of men walking up, Bucky and Steve in the front. “You did it,” Peggy told Steve proudly.

“Of course,” Steve smiled. “Peggy, this is Buck. Buck, this is Agent Carter. And I think you’ll remember Y/N.”

“Hi,” Bucky said, his voice growing shy as he offered both women a small wave. “Good to see you again, Y/N.”

“Likewise,” she replied, taking note of his appearance: battered uniform, a slightly haunted look still lingering in his crystal blue eyes, scruff decorating his jaw, disheveled hair, a dirty face, and a scratch just under one of his eyes. A seemingly out of place scratch that set alarms off in her head. “Would you mind coming with me?”

“Me? With you?” he asked, waving a finger between them.

“That’s what I said, yes. We need to get you examined.”

His eyes widened for the briefest second as he swallowed thickly. “You can just point me in the direction of the nurses’ tent. You don’t-” he stammered.

“Our nurses are going to be swamped checking over all the other men,” she explained. “And if you’re worried about my own nursing skills, I assure you that I’ve picked up on a few things during my time here.”

“It’s true,” Peggy confirmed. “Y/N actually might be better than some of the nurses on our staff.”

“Uh…” Bucky continued to stammer, uncertain of what to do.

Y/N started walking off, pausing when she didn’t hear the sound of boots following after. “Bucky?” she asked, looking back at him over her shoulder. “You coming?”

He gave a shake of his head to clear it. “Yeah. Yeah.”

Silently they trekked through the camp, past the nurses station crowded with soldiers waiting to be seen, and into a smaller tent that held a cot made up neatly, and a desk with a chair behind it. “Have a seat,” Y/N directed, motioning towards the cot. As Bucky took a seat, Y/N pulled a first aid kit out of a desk drawer, before dragging the chair over to the cot. “I’m aware that I’m about to ask you some difficult questions, but I need you to be honest with me. Can you do that?” she asked as she sat down, opening the kit in her lap.

“I think so?”

“How’d you get this scratch?” She wiped an alcoholic pad across it, creating a patch of clean skin on his otherwise dirty face.

He shrugged. “It’s just a scratch.”

“Lying to me already?”

“I’m not lying!” he snapped.

“Then tell me how you got the scratch. And don’t tell me a guard hit you because we know that’s a lie. That’s an abrasion mark. Like you scraped it against something. So how’d you manage to scrap your face against something?”

His mouth pinched, the look in his eyes growing more haunted. “I don’t wanna talk about it…”he muttered.

“It wasn’t normal torture, was it? Did they experiment on you?”

“I said I don’t wanna talk about it!” he snapped again, his tone carrying a hard edge.

“I know you don’t want to. But I need you to. It’s important that you tell me everything that happened,” she said, keeping her voice calm and controlled.

He screwed his eyes shut tight, clenching his hands into fists. “They injected us with something…” the words started to spill in a rapid rush. “It made some of us stronger… And others… It was painful… Like facing a firing squad would hurt less. The screaming… And we couldn’t see what was happening. They’d strap us in these chairs like at the dentist, and then they’d put these things over our faces. And then there was more pain. Like getting electrocuted. They’d do it for days. You never knew which day was yours. The screams never stopped. God, I just want it to stop!” His eyes snapped open, his chest heaving, body trembling, tear tracks down his cheeks. “What did they do to me?” he asked, his voice a broken, hoarse whisper.

“They turned you into a super soldier.”

“A what?”

“It’s an experimental procedure. It’s what we did to Steve. It’s designed to make you faster and stronger. Harder to kill.”

“You tortured Steve?!” The hard edge was back in his tone, almost murderous.

“No! Steve only got the serum. And it was painful, the way it changes your body on a molecular level. But we don’t brainwash our soldiers with electrocution afterwards.”

“So why did they electrocute us? If it's the same experiment?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. But I’d say it has something to do with stripping away your humanity. Turning you into an obedient killing machine. Nobody wants a soldier who questions orders, right? Hydra… they somehow learned about Operation Rebirth, which is our program for creating super soldiers. We wanted it to give ourselves a competitive edge in the war, and cut down on our own casualties. But Hydra just wants the competitive edge, no matter the cost to human life. They want the perfect, undefeatable army.”

“But why us? Why me?”

“Why not you and other POWs? Better for them to risk enemy lives than the lives of their own soldiers.”

“It’s not right…”

“Nobody said it was. And you have my deepest condolences for what you and your men have suffered through.”

“I don’t want your condolences!”

“What do you want?”

“To murder every one of those bastards for what they did to me.”

“Then it looks like we’re on the same side.”

~~~

1945

It took another year for the team to gather more intel on Hydra’s plans for the super soldier serum. A year of small missions led by Steve and Bucky with their own small squadron of soldiers. A year of Peggy and Y/N pouring over debriefings, fitting together as many pieces of the puzzle as they could. A year of Y/N listening to Bucky wake up in the middle of the night, struggling to catch his breath as his mind forced him to relive his days in captivity. A year of feeling the tug to leave her tent for his, to provide any sort of comfort for him she could, but ultimately always deciding against it. Instead, she’d seek him out in the mornings, offering him a small smile as if to offer congratulations for surviving another night with his demons.

Bucky grew to live for those morning smiles. Lived for the way that Y/N could go from demanding SHIELD agent who could strike fear in the hearts of war-hardened soldiers, to a woman with a soft laugh he swore was only reserved for conversations with him. He reveled in the fact that she grew comfortable enough around him to feel like she could drop the hard facade she gave everyone else. As if around him, she didn’t feel like she had to prove herself like she did around the other men.

“So defeat Red Skull. Should be a simple enough mission, eh, Buck?” Steve joked during a debriefing meeting.

“Piece of cake,” Bucky answered, brushing imaginary dirt off his shoulder.

“No,” Y/N cut in. “The mission is to defeat Hydra. Defeating Red Skull is just a piece of it. An important piece. But a piece all the same.”

“But kill the head of the organization, and the rest will fall,” Bucky told her.

She rolled her eyes. “You know what Hydra is, right? The monster from Greek myths?”

“Yeah, it’s the snake with multiple heads. Everyone knows what a Hydra is.”

She rolled her eyes more. “So you know that it’s not as simple as just killing the head of the organization? After all, kill the head, two more grow in its place. Hence, Red Skull only being a piece. You have to take down the whole monster, not just its head.”

“Okay, okay,” Bucky said, waving his hand dismissively. “So, we go in to defeat Hydra once and for all. When do we leave?”

“Captain Rogers, you, and your team leave at dawn,” Peggy told him, a finger pointing at a map. “You catch the train here. It’ll lead you straight to Hydra.”

“That’s a mountain…” Bucky pointed out the obvious flaw in the plan.

“How else are you supposed to catch a Hydra train? Buy a ticket?” Y/N asked him, tone heavy with rhetoric. 

Bucky looked at Steve with raised eyebrows. “So we’re gonna catch a train on a mountainside, huh?”

“Easy, right?”

“Piece of cake. Anything else?”

“No, that’s all,” Peggy told them.

“Oh!” Y/N said, suddenly thinking of something. “Actually yes. One last thing.” She got up to grab a suitcase, setting it down on the table and opening it, revealing small devices inside.

“What are those?” the other three asked her.

“Trackers. In the event anything happens. Make sure each of your men is equipped with one. You just slide it on like a bracelet and hit this button right here,” she demonstrated. “And then I can see your location here,” she pointed at a monitor screen that showed a green light blinking steadily. She turned off the tracker and the blinking went dead on the monitor. “The Navy’s been a great help with their radar technology. And Stark of course.”

“Of course,” the other three said.

Y/N snapped the suitcase shut, handing it to Steve. “Don’t forget.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Now go get your rest. It’s gonna be a long mission.”

In the morning, Peggy and Y/N were up to see the men off. While Peggy and Steve had their own hushed farewell, Y/N stood facing Bucky, her arms crossed over her chest. “Be safe, James.”

“Oh, I’m ‘James’ now?” he asked with a bemused smile. “What did I do to warrant that?”

“Bucky!” she said, her cheeks flushing. “I meant to say ‘Bucky’.”

His eyes flickered around, noting how close the other men were. “Whatever you say, Agent Y/L/N.”

“Sergeant Barnes,” she said, her nostrils flaring.

He raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, I don’t like that one. Not from you. ‘James’ I can make an exception for. But I still prefer when you call me ‘Bucky’.”

“Just… be safe, okay?”

He nodded, giving her a mock salute and a cheeky wink.

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, watching as Bucky joined Steve, and the team rolled out. Once they were out of her line of sight, she turned into her tent, pulling out the monitor screen for the trackers, watching the green lights come blinking to life.

While her energy could have been better spent on other tasks, she couldn’t bring herself to do anything besides watch the steady blinking, a calm reassurance that all the men were exactly where they were supposed to be.

As expected, as the mission went forward, some of the trackers didn’t move forward with the rest. Each one felt like someone had stabbed Y/N with a knife, and her only hope was that it wasn’t Bucky or Steve.

One tracker however caught her attention. It stayed behind while the others went forward. But then, it stopped blinking.

Y/N quickly jotted down the coordinates of where it had been blinking, drawing a small star next to it. She also jotted down the other coordinates of the trackers that stayed behind. But the one that went dark made the small hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She didn’t like that it was the only one that stopped blinking.

Hours ticked by. More coordinates were jotted down. Then, a cluster of the trackers stayed together while one continued onward, and her heart dropped to her stomach, knowing that nothing about that could be good.

At that moment, Peggy came barging into her tent, radio in hand. “Steve, where are you?”

“All I see is ocean,” came the garbled radio response. “This plane’s going down. Let’s get a raincheck on that date?”

Peggy’s eyes looked at Y/N frantically, and the other woman pointed a finger at the monitor, tracking who she assumed to be Steve, as it was the only light still moving on the screen. “We have your coordinates. We’re sending someone to get you. Stay put,” Peggy told Steve.

“It’s hard to stay put when I’m crashing.”

Static crackled through the radio. “Steve?” Peggy asked. “Steve, do you copy? Y/N, where is he?!”

“There, he’s there!” Y/N told the other woman, following the blinking light with her finger. “Have the Navy pick him up.”

Peggy watched the monitor over Y/N’s shoulder while she called into the radio for someone to send Steve’s location to the Navy. “And which are these?” she asked, pointing at the cluster of blinking lights.

“That’s the Hydra base. So we need to send someone to go get the survivors.”

“Yes, and these?” Peggy’s finger moved to the spattering of random locations of blinking lights.

“Bodies to pick up. Peggy, was Bucky with him?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“One of the lights. It dropped off in the mountains. But then the tracker went dead. It’s the only one that went dead.”

“And what does that mean? The tracker broke?”

“Or someone broke it. None of the others went dead. The tracker stayed blinking in the same spot, but it stayed on the map. All but that one. Something about it feels off to me.”

“We’ll figure it out after we get the team back.”

It was a long, and tense wait for Steve and the survivors of the team to make it back, Y/N scanning around for Bucky. “Where is he?” she demanded, pulling Steve aside.

“Hello to you too, Y/N.”

“Hi, Steve. Glad you’re back after your nice swim in the Atlantic. Where’s Bucky?”

Steve swallowed, lowering his head.

“Steve…” she whispered, tears stinging her eyes. “Where is he?”

“Let’s go talk,” was all he said, ushering her into a tent where they’d have more privacy.

“Just tell me if he’s dead or not,” she said, her voice cracking as she crossed her arms.

“I don’t know…”

“How do you not know?”

“I mean, I don’t know. On the train. It was a set up. Hydra was waiting for us. There was a fight. I tried to grab him, but he slipped.”

The blinking light that went dead in the mountains. “Steve…”

“I tried, Y/N. I tried to keep him safe. But he just slipped. And I dunno how anyone could survive a fall from that high up. You’d have to be super human or something.”

“The serum.”

“I’m sorry?”

“The serum!” she said again, hope rising in her voice. “Steve, the serum!”

“What about it?”

“Bucky has it! It’s in him like it’s in you!”

“He’s a super soldier?!”

“Yes! It happened when his unit got captured last year.”

“So he could have survived?!”

“He could have survived!”

“Well, where’s the tracker?! Let’s go!”

Y/N frowned.

“What? What is it?”

“The only tracker that stayed in the mountains went dead two minutes after your team went forward. It’s the only tracker that went off the radar.”

“We were pretty high up. Is it possible it just broke?”

“Let’s hope so.”

Two hours later, Peggy, Steve, and Y/N trekked through the snow in search of any signs of Bucky. Thousands of feet up in the air, Y/N could make out the train track. “I don’t get it,” she grumbled, her boot kicking at a patch of snow. “The coordinates are right here. So where is he?”

“Uh… Y/N?” Steve said, holding up two pieces of a black bracelet.

“My tracker…” she mourned the two broken pieces.

“But look at how it’s broken. It’s like someone snapped it in half. Buck wouldn’t have done that.”

“But whoever took him would,” Y/N said.

“But who took him?”

“I’ll give you two guesses.”

“But Hydra’s done. We won,” Steve said, not understanding.

Y/N shook her head, kicking at more snow as tears started to slide down her cheeks. “You said you were ambushed right? That they knew you were coming?”

“Yeah…”

“Steve, Hydra is more than just the Nazis. It’s everyone that opposes SHIELD. How many enemies besides the Nazis does America have?”

“So Buck could be anywhere?”

“Yes, and once news breaks of your mission, and with the war itself starting to end, any of the remaining Hydra heads are going to lay low.”

“And we can’t find Buck until we find Hydra. If he survives.”

“He’s a super soldier. If he managed to survive that fall, I’m sure Hydra will want to keep him alive as long as they can. Turn him into an asset they can exploit. Provided he doesn’t cause them any trouble.”

“Oh, it’s Buck. All he does is cause trouble,” Steve chuckled humorlessly before sighing. “I don’t know which reality I wanna live in. One where he’s dead. Or one where he's missing, and I don’t know how or when I’ll find him, or what he’ll be when I do.”

“I know,” she nodded, more tears falling down her face. “But at least when I believe he’s alive, there’s hope. And I need that hope, Steve.”

Steve pulled her in for a tight hug. Steve wanted to give her more reassurance, to tell her the truth about how Bucky felt about her, but he decided against it, understanding finally why Bucky had never said anything himself. He couldn’t bear the idea of breaking her heart more than it was already breaking. Likewise, Y/N wanted to give Steve his own reassurance. For him to know how much her heart was breaking for him because she knew how much Bucky meant to him, because he had meant just as much to her. But instead, she sniffled into Steve’s chest, his own tears dropping into her hair while he whispered, “We’ll find him. Somehow. We’ll find him,” on a loop as he held her to him, both of them mourning their friend.

~~~

1953

“Y/N!” Steve said loudly as he burst into the woman’s office, a wide grin on the captain’s face. “You’re gonna love me.”

“I think your wife might have a problem with that,” she teased, barely looking up from her work to acknowledge her friend.

He placed a folder down on her desk. “Just look at this, will you?”

She opened the folder, giving it a look through. “Hydra intel? Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a while.”

“Yep. They’re still staying low. Taking advantage of civil uprisings to eliminate threats to their cause.”

“Well, that’s certainly one way to go about being undetected. Where do we come in?”

“We’re the next threat. Or at least, Washington D.C. is. You in?”

“Who’s the team?”

“Right now? Just me.”

“Rogers…”

He raised his hands. “I know it sounds bad. But, a lot of people aren’t willing to believe Hydra’s behind the attacks. So it’s not an official mission we have any clearance on.”

Y/N waved the folder. “So this isn’t an official report? What is this then?”

“My own personal research,” he said with a sheepish grin.

“Rogers…”

“Look, I can’t explain it. I just have a feeling that I’m right.”

“So you want my help staking out the meeting at Capitol Hill next week on the feeling that Hydra might be plotting something?”

“Yes. You in?”

“You better not be wrong.”

A week later, Steve and Y/N stood watch, both of them silently hoping he was wrong, but also hoping he was right. For the first half hour, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The lull into the false sense of security before the sound of a bomb went off, sending everyone into panic mode.

Y/N crouched down, eyes scanning around for anything that didn’t fit the pattern of how a terrified citizen would act. “You see anything?” she spoke into her earpiece.

“There!” Steve’s voice shouted in her ear. “Long hair. Mask. Metal arm. Gun,” he rattled off the details.

“Location?!”

“Headed your way. Run!”

Y/N took off, eyes on the lookout for whoever Steve had described. “Run! Move!” she shouted as she pushed people aside. Gunfire rang out, and she felt a sharp white-hot pain in her chest as she took cover behind a car, her heartbeat drumming loudly in her ears. Applying pressure to the wound, she looked around for the shooter, hoping Steve was on his way to her.

She turned her head to the sound of a gun cocking, eyes going wide with fear as she spotted the person Steve had described, gun pointed her way.

She held her breath as the man took aim, then changed his mind as Steve came charging at him. With his metal arm, he threw a punch at Steve, who quickly threw up his shield to block it, the sound of metal hitting metal creating a loud clanking sound. Quickly, the man pushed the shield aside, kicking Steve in the chest, the action causing both men to fall backwards.

Y/N watched from her vantage point as the shooter pulled up his gun, shooting a rapid succession at Steve who curled up behind his shield, the bullets ricocheting off. Steve took advantage of the man pausing to reload to draw in closer. The shooter got in more shots, before Steve roundhouse kicked the gun free. Not missing a beat, the shooter pulled out another gun, firing off more shots that got deflected by the shield.

In another brief pause, Steve took a swing that the shooter dodged. Steve immediately came up swinging with the shield, which the shooter grabbed easily, both men trying to punch each other around it. Annoyed, the shooter grabbed onto the shield with his other hand, giving a sharp twist, flipping both Steve and the shield, leaving Steve defenseless. Y/N gasped, knowing she needed to get moving and help. “C’mon, c’mon,” she hissed, pressing her palm firmer into her wound, wishing she had a way to hold her shirt in place as a makeshift bandage.

Not caring, Steve raised his fists, both of them going back to exchanging blows until the metal arm connected solidly into his chest, knocking him backwards. Steve quickly rolled back to his feet before charging at the masked man again, who launched the shield. Steve twisted out of the way, the shield embedding itself into a car right behind him. Steve kept running, as his opponent freed a knife from his side, slashing at Steve’s punches. One of Steve’s punches got the man straight in the jaw. As the man grunted from the impact, Steve jumped to deliver a kick to the chest, knocking the assailant backwards. Wasting no time, Steve went in for another kick, his foot connecting again.

The blows however, did little to stop the other man as he came back at Steve. He threw a punch with the nonmetal arm that Steve grabbed onto and flipped the man onto his back. But in a swift blur, the man got up, the metal hand gripping tightly around Steve’s throat before throwing him.

Steve fell to the ground, gasping for air as the man kept coming. A punch that Steve narrowly missed shattered the asphalt. Somehow Steve got to his feet as his attacker pulled out another knife. Punches and knife slashes were deflected, as Steve lured the man closer to free his shield that was still lodged in the car.

Freeing the shield, Steve brought it in between where metal met flesh at the man’s shoulder, trying to cut the metal arm loose. When that didn’t work, Steve flipped the man in a backwards somersault, his mask clattering to the ground.

Everything froze for a terrible second, Steve’s chest heaving with exertion as the shooter rose to his feet, turning to face Steve. The captain’s eyebrows pulled together in stunned confusion, recognizing his opponent instantly. “Bucky?” he whispered, not sure if he wanted to believe what he was seeing.

Y/N decided it was now or never to provide Steve with much needed backup. Without being able to take pressure off her wound, she decided her only option was to somehow kick Bucky from behind. But she first had to get up somewhere high enough to land a kick where it would do the most damage. With a grunt and her free hand, she pulled herself up onto the roof of the car she’d been taking cover behind, Bucky right below her.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” the man asked, pulling a gun on Steve and taking aim. He was about to pull the trigger when Y/N jumped, kicking Bucky in the back of the head as she came down almost directly on top of him.

Bucky fell forward, rolling to his feet as Y/N landed on hers, preparing for him to turn his attention to her. Instead though, he kept his attention on Steve, scared confusion on his face. He pulled a grenade free, throwing it at Steve, and while both Steve and Y/N crouched to cover themselves with the small explosion, Bucky used the distraction to disappear.

“I knew it,” was all Y/N could say as she winced from the pain.

Steve rushed over to her, eyes full of worry as they took in the gunshot. “We should get that checked out.”

“And figure out how to get our Bucky back. Steve, that was exactly what I feared was going to happen when we didn’t find him.”

“I know. I know.”

“How though? Steve… he was only with Hydra a month before you rescued him last time. And it was bad. I don’t know how much you saw compared to what I did. But it wasn’t good. He had nightmares right up until you guys left for that last mission. A month had that kind of effect on him. Now we’re up against eight years. How do we bring him back from this?”

“What stopped me from becoming that?”

“The fact that we didn’t brainwash you of your humanity.”

“So, all we gotta do is tap into that humanity. I mean, did you see how he stopped once I realized it was him?”

“You mean how he threw a grenade at your head? How he shot me?”

“His humanity is still there, Y/N. We just have to get to it.”

“How?!”

“By using you.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Steve sighed. “I was never supposed to be the one to tell you this. He was. But Bucky liked you from the minute he met you. But he was adamant about not telling you he did until the war was over. Because he couldn’t bear the idea of something happening to him and it breaking your heart. He wanted to make sure he was safe first, able to give you stability in not worrying about him.”

“Well, he’s a fool, because I worried about him and my heart broke anyway.”

“He meant well. But, because of how he felt about you, I think you’re the answer to bringing him back.”

“How though, Steve? He looked right at me, and still tried to shoot me again.”

Steve sighed again. “You might hate me for this suggestion. But kiss him.”

“You want me to kiss the man who just tried to kill us both? Are you insane?!”

“It could work.”

“Like some fairytale? True love’s kiss breaks the spell? Only in this case the spell is eight years of brainwashing him into an obedient assassin?”

“Yeah, basically,” Steve nodded.

She threw up her hands in exasperation. “I thought we were friends, and here you are telling me to kiss the assassin who shot me, Rogers! Are you trying to get me killed?!”

“I’m only saying it might be our best bet at getting our Bucky back. But, if you’re not up for it, I understand. It’s a huge risk.”

She narrowed her eyes. “If I die kissing Bucky, I will haunt you for the rest of your days, Rogers,” she threatened.

Steve flashed her a charming smile. “I’ve been reliably informed that dying kissing Buck would be a heavenly way to go.”

It would take awhile to get Operation Fairytale going, as Y/N healed from her gunshot wound and Hydra had the smarts to go back to laying low.

All in all, it took about two months before Steve was bursting back into Y/N’s office with a wide smile. “Find him?” was all she asked.

“Yep,” Steve said, grinning wider. “You ready?”

“Let’s go.”

As they traveled to where Steve claimed he had found Bucky, he reminded her of what she was to do. “Keep your distance. You don’t wanna be on the receiving end of his regular arm, much less his metal one. But you have to get close enough at the same time. Something about using his name will start to draw him out, so use it a lot. Then you can probably get close enough to where he won’t actively want to hurt you.”

She nodded. “But you’ll be close by if your hunch doesn’t work?”

“As close as I can without tipping him off that I’m there, yes.”

“This plan is insane, you know that, right?”

“Why do you think it’s just me and you?”

She sighed, closing her eyes and taking a slow breath to steady herself. “Just don’t let me die, yeah?”

“That’s part of the plan.”

“Love that confidence…”

“Last chance to back out. I can try to tap into his humanity on my own. I already did it once. I just think you’d have a better chance at cracking into him than I do.”

“Just don’t let me die, Steve. Because one way or another we’re gonna get Bucky back. But if I die in the process, I don’t want it to have been for nothing.”

“That’s why keeping you alive is an important part of the plan.”

Both too soon and not soon enough, Y/N found herself face to face with Bucky. Well, face to back. “Bucky,” she called out, her voice soft and soothing. “Bucky, it’s Y/N. It’s me.”

The soldier turned, mask obscuring the lower half of his face, eyes cold blue steel as they regarded her. She silently cursed herself and Steve for forgetting about the mask. Another obstacle to figure a way around. “I don’t know who that is.”

“Yes, you do,” she said, taking a step forward. “You’re Bucky. And I’m Y/N. We know each other.”

“No, we don’t!” his voice rose, hands curling into fists at his sides.

Y/N dropped a hand to her side, ready to grab at her gun if she needed to. “I don’t want to fight you, Bucky. But I will if I have to.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky,” she taunted, fingers wrapping around the grip of her gun.

With a yell of frustration, Bucky advanced on her. In a swift motion, she freed the gun, firing off a few shots at him, stepping backwards as she did so.

He kept advancing, deflecting some of her shots with his metal arm, but one grazed across his ribs, causing him to hiss as blood splattered.

“I guess that makes us even?” she huffed as he stopped advancing, his fingers staining red as he brushed them against his wound, assessing the damage. “Stop now, and I won’t have to shoot you again.”

She couldn’t see the way his lips pulled aways from his teeth in a snarl, as he pulled a knife. Quickly he advanced, slashing out at her. “Really?!” she yelled angrily as she dodged and jumped backwards, trying to keep out of his arm’s reach. “You’re gonna try to stab me now, too?! James Buchanan Barnes!”

He gave an equally angry yell of his own, slashing at her faster with the knife. As he got within reach of her, she ducked down, sweeping out her leg to try and knock him off his feet. “It’s me, Bucky!” she screamed at him, each word a new attempt at a hit.

Whether it was her words finally getting to him or her taking an offensive position against him, Bucky stopped attacking back, putting all his efforts into blocking her blows. “Bucky!” she kept screaming, swiping at his face to knock off his mask. “You’re Bucky! Remember, damn it!”

“I don’t know who that is!” He grabbed her wrist in his hand before flinging her free, the strength sending her skiddering backwards.

“Yes, you do!” She lunged at him, tackling him to the ground, pinning his arms down with her knees. And knowing she had about a millisecond before he threw her off, she crushed her lips into his, putting as much emotion and power into it as possible.

A hand grabbed her shoulder and she braced herself for the impact of getting thrown like a ragdoll. But instead, the hand was pulling her in closer, Bucky’s lips moving to kiss her back. “Y/N,” he breathed against her mouth.

“It’s me. It’s me, Bucky,” she nodded, pulling away with a half laugh/half sob. “It’s me,” she repeated, sitting back on his chest.

“You shot me,” he coughed.

“You shot me first.”

“I didn’t know…” he told her, his breathing becoming erratic with fear and panic. “I didn’t know…”

“Shh, it’s okay,” she soothed, cupping his face in her hands and brushing at the tears that started to spill. “C’mon, let’s get you home.”

“Home,” he nodded as she climbed off of him and onto her feet, reaching a hand down to him. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

After a hesitant, then tearful reunion with Steve, Bucky recounted his time with Hydra as they all sat around Peggy and Steve’s house. Much like how his conversation had gone with Y/N when he recounted his first go at captivity, the words spilled out in a rush, his hands clenched tightly at his sides as he refused to meet anyone’s eye for too long.

“It was like the first time. But worse. As the serum worked with more of us, they had us start fighting each other. The electrocutions… They’d use this list of words to put us in this mindset where our only task is to cause hurt. Like complete mind control. And if we weren’t getting electrocuted, fighting each other, or doing their bidding, we were put in these states of sleep. It’s not an army they’re creating. They’re creating a new breed of assassins.”

“Well, they’re down one super assassin now,” Steve said, relief mixing with the deep concern of what Bucky’s news could mean for the future. “What happened to your arm? Was that them?”

Bucky shook his head. “No. Well… yes, but no. It happened when I was falling. I tried to grab anything to slow my fall, but I was going too fast. And then I was on my back in the snow. And then I wasn’t. And now I’m here.”

“You still wanna murder every last one them?” Y/N asked with a small smile.

Bucky raised his eyes to meet hers: haunted versus home. Slowly he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. So, I guess that makes us on the same side?”

“We were always on the same side, Bucky.”

He looked down at his side that sported a bandage under his shirt. “Plus or minus a few details anyway.” He scanned his eyes around the small house. “You got a spare bedroom here, Steve? Or anywhere I can lay down for a bit? Pretty tired.”

Steve nodded, but it was Y/N who stood up. “C’mon, I’ll show you,” she said.

“Y/N, you can grab him some clothes out of my closet. I think Buck and I are finally the same size.”

Bucky and Steve shared a laugh, as Bucky followed Y/N through the house to a bedroom. Bucky sat down on the edge of the bed as Y/N rummaged around in drawers, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt for the man. “Bathroom’s through that door,” she pointed, handing him the clothes.

“Thanks,” he said, taking the clothes and disappearing into the bathroom to change. “Um, can I ask you something?” he asked her through the door.

“Sure.”

“Would you mind staying with me? I- I don’t want to be alone…”

“Stay with you like sleep in the bed with you?”

“Well you don’t have to sleep if you’re not tired. But yeah. If you don’t mind.” As he pulled the bathroom door open, she could see the traces of fear lingering in his haunted look.

“Yeah, I’ll lay with you.”

“Thanks. And um…” he rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. “C-can the light stay on?”

“Of course, Bucky. Whatever you need.”

“Just you,” he mumbled under his breath, but she heard him anyway, both of their cheeks flushing.

“When you wake up, maybe we can go out for that dance,” she teased as she crawled under the covers with him.

“Only if I can kiss you afterwards.”

“Or you could kiss me now.”

His breath caught as his fingers hooked under her chin, guiding her in for a kiss. “Thank you for not leaving me,” he whispered.

“I could never leave you, Bucky.”

__

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[just-a-silly-little-whumper]

Whumptober Day 14: Die a Hero or Live Long Enough to Become a Villain

Masterpost | Read on Ao3

In which complicity is just as bad as the violence itself.

Contains: Gilded cage, vampire whumper, bloodbag whumpee, drugging, referenced hallucinations

~~~

Wallace Kesby was never meant for greatness.

“You can’t do this!”

Born into a simple family in a small village, his life was always supposed to be unremarkable. He would help out at the farm, take the goods to market, care for his parents through their old age, maybe marry and start his own family one day if he was lucky. An entire existence spent in the same valley with the same people doing the same things. Some might have found it dull, but it was all he ever wanted. He liked the quiet, the comforting monotony of an average life.

There was, of course, the vampire living in the castle on the side of the mountain. But Lord Denholm, for all his cruelty, was clear in his expectations. As long as you paid your taxes and showed him the respect he was due, he would only bring you harm if you caused trouble.

Wallace never meant to cause any trouble.

“Leave her alone!”

He had expected to die that day, standing between Lord Denholm and his firebrand of a sister. Perhaps Lord Denholm had found a shred of mercy in his heart. More than likely it was cruelty, just another callous act in his centuries-long reign over the valley, that caused him to bring Wallace into his employ rather than kill him on the spot.

And Wallace, for all he was a simple man, was not stupid, nor did he have a death wish. So he made himself useful. His father and sister had always complimented his cooking, so he cooked for his Lord and the other servants in Castle Tergoria. Lord Denholm was amused at his meager efforts at first, but through trial and punishment, Wallace learned how to meet his Lord’s standards. He learned how to keep his head down, read the will of his Lord, and avoid drawing his ire.

“Yes, you’ll do quite nicely.”

Why a vampire needed a cook, he was never sure. The mortal servants in the castle needed to eat, that much was clear. Perhaps it was merely an indulgence from a life he no longer had. Perhaps it helped him appeal to what rare mortal guests he had. Perhaps it was just a way to test Wallace, to keep him in line.

It didn’t much matter. If he was useful, then he remained unharmed. Simple as that.

Especially now. A new castle resident was drawing all of Lord Denholm’s attention. And Elze’ith’s Sylrel’s presence in Castle Tergoria revolved entirely around Lord Denholm. The servants were under strict orders not to speak to him without Lord Denholm’s express permission, and Wallace was told not to feed him unless Lord Denholm was eating as well.

He saw Elze’ith, on occasion. Mostly when he brought meals or drinks to and from Lord Denholm’s study, or from the dining hall. He did his best not to make eye contact with the tense man and his beseeching gaze. Part of him wondered what this man had done to have Lord Denholm fixate on him so closely. Mostly, he was glad that someone else was getting the full brunt of Lord Denholm’s moods, and his feedings especially. The constant ache in his neck finally had a chance to fade, ever so slightly. Anything beyond that didn’t concern him.

Except for when it did.

The sound of Ivetta’s boots against the stone floor echoed forcefully, and Wallace immediately snapped to attention. She was the only person, besides Lord Denholm, whose opinion of him mattered. She was the only other person he was afraid of. As always his kitchen was immaculate, but he still let himself relax ever so slightly when her gaze searched the space and landed on him without her expression changing. If she wasn’t frowning, then she wasn’t displeased.

In two quick strides she closed the distance between them. Wallace tried not to look afraid as he stared up at her. “The Lord expects tea in his study in a quarter of an hour.” She drew a small bottle from her bag and placed it on the table. Its contents were clear with a slight milky discoloration. “He wants this mixed in, undetectable if you can manage it. ‘A surprise for his light,’ he said.”

Wallace was never meant for greatness. His life was always supposed to be simple, unremarkable. He was never going to stand up against the Lord of the Valley, not without something very important to fight for. He was no hero.

He glanced at the bottle. He wasn’t sure what was in it, and he didn’t want to know. When he picked it up, the liquid sloshed innocently. “Understood, Ms. Vernier,” he said. “I’ll be right up with it.”

Ivetta smirked ever so slightly, and turned to walk away without a word. Fifteen minutes later, he silently dropped off a strong blend of tea with the liquid mixed in, and left before either of them could drink it. The next day he would hear the other servants whisper about the way that Elze’ith screamed and sobbed as he hallucinated. 

It didn’t matter to Wallace. If he couldn’t have his simple life, he would at least have as safe of a life as he could manage. And if someone else had Lord Denholm’s attention, then Wallace was safe, and he was perfectly alright with that.

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

Idk if you do one shots inspired in songs, but if so, Would you mind doing one with a Taylor Swift's song which is called "The 1"? With Mason Mount please

< i love taylor so much and i really hope i didn’t completely butcher this, but thanks for the challenge :) >

MASON MOUNT ONESHOT

the 1

( WARNING: little bit of angst and fluff?, swearing )

word count: 1.8k

Things don’t often go as we expect them to, and it’s often incredibly difficult to replan your life around that massive change and adapt your lifestyle so you can — in reality — live again.

It’s like trying to find your feet when you’re in the air — it feels impossible but you know with time you’ll eventually meet the ground again.

That’s what it felt like when you and Mason broke up four years ago.

You were fresh out of uni and at the time, you really thought he’d be it for you, and honestly, so did he. A break up thrown into the mix of having to navigate adult life just seemed to put a huge stopper on all your plans; the holiday you two had both booked for a weekend away in Ireland, the meals out with friends that you had to cancel, and the house showings you were set to attend.

Looking back on your relationship now, you realise it wouldn’t have been the worst thing to end up with Mason. All the years and effort and time put into loving him were — without a doubt — some of the best years of your life (at that stage in life), and did you regret it?

Not one single bit.

But four years is the perfect amount of time to heal, remove the salt from the wound and finish grieving.

But he was here. In real life.

You’d imagined running into him in the supermarket or on a night out with your friends, but a bus stop?

That one was weird. Mainly because you both hated catching the bus with a burning passion.

But it lead to a catch up over coffee.

It was a quiet place, out of the way of the usual lunchtime hustle and bustle in the city, and for that you were grateful. You could hear your own thoughts.

It was awkward at first, you couldn’t keep your eyes from fixating on his figure, his features, because four years can really change a person. He was much broader, his hair a little shorter, but he was still that same Mason you once loved.

You knew that because the first thing he did when he sat down was offer you that cheeky, charming smile that had you hooked from the second you met.

He’d asked how you were, and you answered honestly: you were living well, your best life, and to the fullest. And you knew and he knew that it wasn’t a lie.

He could tell by the smile on your face and the new, sparkling band on your wedding finger. He half expected that blow to sting a little — that you’d found someone and he hadn’t, but he was never one to be bitter whatsoever, at least, not when it came to you.

Instead, he offered his congratulations and the only inkling of regret he held was not being there when it happened.

I guess you never know, never know,

And if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed,

And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow,

And it’s alright now.

There was silence after that.

You had one thing on your mind, and you knew by the way he was looking at you that he was also thinking the same thing.

You took a sip of your coffee.

He mirrored your actions, seemingly startled when you placed your mug onto your saucer, the chink of porcelain against porcelain echoing around the small shop cutting through the previous quietness.

“I think I hated you for a while.” You murmured, and if Mason wasn’t leant over the table slightly, he would’ve missed the statement completely.

He nodded in understanding, his brown eyes shining with the faintest hint of guilt.

“I think I was so frustrated with the idea that we just…didn’t work, and I blamed it on you.” You paused, fingers twisting your rings.

He paused, mulling over his words, “And now? Still hate me now?”

You bit back a small smile and met his eyes, “No…I think it’d take a whole load of bad shit to get me to hate you.”

He smiled.

“That’s good to know.”

“I mean, I think it was a long time coming anyway, that break up.”

“It didn’t feel right for a while.”

“No,” you agreed, “as much as it hurt to admit, I think we just failed…as a couple. There was a point where we were just together for the sake of not giving up on the relationship, but with no real reason to continue.”

But we were something, don't you think so?

Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool,

And if my wishes came true,

It would've been you,

In my defense, I have none,

For never leaving well enough alone,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

He seemed to ponder over your words, and although he never voiced it, he came to the conclusion that you’d just put into words — perfectly — the itch that had been tickling his brain for the past few years.

“Despite that, you can’t deny that we weren’t something…” he started, before breaking off and shaking his head, as if the mere thought was ridiculous.

“We were something special. I think, had things stayed like they were in the beginning, that…you and I…” you waved your hand, tilting your head, and he nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Me too. I think…in another life we could have made each other happy. It would have been fun.”

The words ‘if you would’ve been the one’ echoed in your head, and despite the passive aggressiveness of your conscience, you found yourself holding back a smile.

“Water fights in winter and eggs with ketchup…perfect. I’d never have gotten tired of that.” You mused, and he spluttered slightly on his coffee, laughing along with you in what felt like a decade.

I have this dream you're doing cool shit,

Having adventures on your own,

You meet some woman on the internet and take her home,

We never painted by the numbers, baby,

But we were making it count,

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.

“Then again, who knows? Maybe you’ll fall over in the airport and some lucky person will help you off the floor—”

“You’re about to say something cheesy, aren’t you?” Mason covered his mouth, scrunching his nose in anticipation as you nodded.

“All this nostalgic bullshit has me emotional! I swear, just this once…just this once, and I promise you can laugh about it afterwards.” You swore, holding out your pinkie for confirmation.

He didn’t hesitate, and linked your pinkie.

“You’ll find someone else. It’ll be love at first sight—hey, let me have this moment…maybe love at second sight, knowing you… you’ll go to some really magical place and have the most amount of fun you’re ever gonna have…hikes, skydiving, looking after animals I’m sanctuaries…you’re gonna have the time of your life — like Grey and Swayze.” You sniggered, unable to hold in your laughs at the ridiculous scenarios.

Mason pulled a face, unable to hide a smile.

“Okay, okay. End of story: they’ll be perfect. The Chandler to your Monica or the Robin to your Ted. But, you understand what I’m talking about, right?” You asked, sighing out of frustration.

“You’re saying I’ll find my person.” He concluded, sitting back in his chair.

“Yeah.”

We were something, don't you think so?

Rosé flowing with your chosen family,

And it would've been sweet,

If it could've been me,

In my defense, I have none,

For digging up the grave another time,

But it would've been fun,

If you would've been the one.

“Like…your grandma and grandad. I want what they have.” Mason smiled.

“They’ll be pleased to hear that,” you said, “I don’t think they’re quite over us yet. You were too…you at family meals. They fell in love with you too.”

This time Mason really laughed. Really laughed. He threw his head back and the people working at the counter turned to look at him, fighting their own smiles at his carefree nature.

What you’d said wasn’t even that funny.

“Too me? Thanks, I think?”

“Oh, that’s definitely a compliment. You’re too damn charming for your own good, it’s a problem. You should come with a warning label on your forehead: EASY TO LOVE.”

“That’ll solve a lot of problems.”

There was silence.

It was relieving to say the least.

“That whole conversation was about four years too late.” You said, pursing your lips.

“Better late than never.” Mason murmured, his eyes trained on you.

The pressure on your shoulders was lifted. All the things that needed to be said were said.

As time passes, the wound heals — sometimes, but in your case, that was true, as hard as it was to come to that conclusion — and it suddenly became easier to recall the loss of what might have been without bringing you back to wishing it would be again.

It was nice.

“Would it be totally inappropriate—”

“Not at all.” You interrupted, shrugging at his raised eyebrows.

“You didn’t know what I was going to say.” He chuckled.

“I’ll have you know that years of knowing you granted me the issue of knowing what you’re going to say,” You said, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction.

“What was I going to say?” He challenged, “If you get it right, I’ll get you tickets to the next game.”

You raised your brows.

“Confident, are we?”

He shrugged, a smug smirk on his lips.

“I don’t think it’s totally inappropriate to be friends.” At your words, he slumped in his chair, hands going to cover his face.

“No.” He groaned, repeating the word like a mantra as you pumped the air with your fist.

“Three tickets to the next game in the bag.” You bragged.

“Honestly.” He whined, peeling his hands away. “Why are you so difficult?”

“You offered the terms.”

“Why am I so dumb?” He rephrased.

“Ah, I'm afraid only you can answer that one.”

“The brain cells I have left don’t have enough energy to come up with an answer to a question as philosophical as that one—yes, it was philosophical to me, okay?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” You promised, putting your hands in the air in surrender.

“Just remember who’s going to give you those tickets, yeah?” He teased, sitting up.

“Abusing your power, nice move.”

“Oh…shut up.”

“Weak.” You coughed, trying to disguise the fact you said anything.

He looked straight at you, highly unimpressed by your tactics.

“Very original.” Was all he said.

“Is it supposed to be this easy?” You blurted out, spitting out the words before you could rethink the consequences of them being thrown into the abyss between you and Mason.

He knitted his brows together in thought.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, “but we were friends way before, it’s not hard to fall back into old habits. I think that’s why it’s so easy.”