#if youre a very young adult or teen you might not realise

[dandelion-daisys]

I'm not saying this in a judgy way, but rather in a "huh! Humans are weird!" Way:

I do NOT understand how someone can regress to a teenage age. As soon as I hit puberty and hit that "adult" mindset, where those memories feel the same as recent ones and very different from childhood memories, my "age" feeling stayed the same, I guess?

Like, 10 year old me was Child Me.

11.5 year old me was current me but with less life experience.

So it's like.. how would that feel? To regress to a teenage age???? What does it MEAN to feel like a teenager?

Like to me it sounds as weird as a 30 year old saying "i regress to being 25" like. What do you mean you regress to that age? What does that feel like??

And it sucks that it's such a subjective experience, because it means I probably won't ever get a good description of what it feels like

[markscherz]

Can I ask how you feel about your Tumblr fame?

I get the impression you just made this account for normal casual funsies reasons, but it kinda blew up by happenstance. If that's right, I'm curious if now you feel like it's kind of a more serious thing, where you have an opportunity to sorta act as a science communicator with a reach you otherwise might not?

Or maybe something else? You gonna see if you can somehow leverage your Tumblr fame to get research funding? Deputize us to harass polluters and developers destroying habitats? Crowdsource name ideas for new species?

It's a bit bizarre, in that it has very little real-world-ness to it. I showed my mother the ongoing tumblr celebrity poll, and she was like 'how many people could possibly be interested in frogs?', to which I replied 'well as of today about 46,000 and counting'.

I have always had an unhealthy relationship with fame. I spent most of my teen and young adult life fawning after it, as is I suppose very often the case.

More after the cut…

I always really wanted to be famous, but I was never really interested in changing who I was or what I represented in that pursuit. That is to say, I wanted to be known for what I was already doing, or for things that were already interesting for me, rather than things that might have much higher chances of success but require more effort or be less in line with the things that I am interested in.

I had my first brush with virality in 2012, when a poem I wrote went a little viral (largely thanks to StumbleUpon). I remember the rush of seeing how much attention it was getting, and staying up late to keep refreshing the page as the visitor numbers went up and up and up.

But not long after that, I had some closer encounters with fame and people becoming famous. That was extremely eye-opening. I witnessed first hand how strongly that can affect someone's life, for good and for bad. That experience also made me realise, quite jarringly, that famous people are still just people; that celebrity is something extrinsic to them; that they also wipe their own butts (if they are able); and that in many cases, it is a substantial inconvenience if not downright pain in the ass for them. I think this is why we see so many of the big celebrities having mental health crises or trying to live as much of their lives out of the public eye as possible.

That experience pretty much stifled my desire to achieve fame, and really changed my relationship with it. I should add that I could say much more on this topic, but nothing so coherent or insightful as John and Hank Green, who have given me so much clarity on this topic over the years through their thoughtful commentary on youtube and their podcasts.

Anyway, in spite of the fact that fame itself doesn't really appeal to me anymore, I do still have a problem wherein I quickly became addicted to the microdosing of euphoria associated with every reblog and like and follow. So I put huge efforts into social media in order to try to gain traction in the space that I felt I could really compete in—Very Niche SciComm™—and build up a following.

Tumblr was the first platform where I felt that really succeed; I managed to fight my way to a few thousand followers with a thick queue of regular posts about herpetology and other science. At that time, there was a great community building up in the rudimentary private messaging system—I am still friends with several other tumblr bloggers from that era (none of whom I have ever met in person). From that early time (2013), I think my most successful post was probably this one about germination of 32,000 year old seeds—a post that, as of today, has 836 notes, but at the time felt huge and exhilarating.

As I went through gradschool, I got more and more active on twitter, and less and less active on tumblr (by the time I wound down, I had about 8,000 followers on tumblr). This was partly because of the pornbot takeover on tumblr, which meant I basically could not go on the platform in public or at work, but also because the audience and interactions are just fundamentally different. Twitter had a different kind of vibe and energy than tumblr, and there were real SciComm experts there, who were doing it just completely differently. More importantly, I became more focussed on doing outreach aimed at colleagues, rather than non-experts.

Then, in 2017, I hit headlines for the first time. The description of Geckolepis megalepis made it big on social and traditional media, and I had my first experience with real media attention. I had a flurry of late-night phone-calls with journalists in the US. This was a different animal altogether than the few viral posts I had had until that point. It was extremely stressful, but exhilarating. Then in 2018, our chameleon fluorescence story made similar headlines, and in 2019 the Mini frogs, and in 2021 with gecko fluorescence and the smallest chameleon.

Seeing my name on the BBC News website and in the New York Times and National Geographic—those things have been the most surreal moments of near-fame I have experienced so far. The number of followers on social media is quite difficult to conceptualise, but seeing your own name in a media outlet that you consume regularly, or have grown up with, is more palpable.

In any case, I continued to run with twitter as my main platform for years, because I found the interaction with colleagues and other academics highly stimulating. In 2021, I even posted a twitter thread about a different species of frog from Madagascar every day for the full year. All this work was ultimately greeted with mediocre success; I just crested over 10,000 followers a few months before the Musth takeover. But then the platform became basically unusable. And in the fallout, I came back to tumblr, where, just by chance, I happened to find a post about the Mini frogs and reply to it and it went properly viral and now here we are. In the space of a year, I went from having 8000 followers to having >46,000.

How do I feel about that? It's bonkers. I think it is great that so many people are interested in hearing the Good News about frogs and other creatures. But I also feel like I am not really on the same playing field as most of the others in that poll mentioned above, in that I do not have any of the celebrity that several others have. And I know for a fact that there are fanblogs with far, far larger followings than I have. But perhaps that is the great thing about tumblr; that the playing field is somehow levelled…

What's the point of this ramble? Well, first I guess it is to outline that I have given fame a lot of thought over the years, and I have a long-standing and complicated relationship with it, and take it quite seriously. Second, to illustrate that I have been working on as a science communicator or person in outreach for many years—it has kind of been my social media brand since I started gradschool in 2013. And third, to kind of outline how we got here, because I often feel like you have to know where an arrow has come from in order to figure out which direction it will continue to fly.

You asked if I would somehow try to leverage my tumblr fame to get research funding—I already do that. In fact, my social media activity had a signfiicant role in landing me my current job, and will continue to help me achieve tenure. Outreach is an important part of my job, and funders like it too.

I would love to have the community-building power and tenacity of the brothers Green; Nerdfighteria has achieved some incredible things over the years, and the power of that community is now being seen at an unprecedented scale in their battle for equitable access for tuberculosis diagnosis and treatment. But I do not have that in me; this platform is the wrong one for community activation, and my community is still too small for that. Moreover, it is not organised or structured, in the way that I think effective deputisation would require.

As for the crowdsourcing of name ideas, that is currently off the table. I like to try to name things on my own or with my colleauges; it is a very good part of the process. And I have yet to hear a suggestion for a Mini species epithet that I had not already come up with myself, so I am not convinced that this would really augment the experience.

So for now, I hope that the main way I use the platform, and the power that comes with a few thousand followers, will be to spread the Good News about frogs and other wonderful animals, and the other kinds of science happening around us (and occasional other off-topic content). I hope that you are encouraged to explore the world around you, and to do your own reading to find out more about the subjects that interest you. And also I will continue to try to make meme-worthy content, because it does nice, if addictive, things in my brain when I get the clicks.

Thanks for asking, anon, and sorry for the Wall of Text.

[profoundbondfanfic]

More Holiday fic recs!

-Part 3 of 5-

Angel Cookies by noxsoulmate (Explicit, 245k words)

“On Christmas Eve, if you eat Angel Cookies right before bed and then dream of your one true love, he will be your destiny.” The Shurley clan sure believe their old family legend, but not Castiel James – not since he was a pudgy teenager, running down the church aisle on Christmas Day, trying to stop his very handsome and very straight teacher Dean Winchester from marrying someone else. He may be grown-up, well-toned, bestselling Young Adult’s book author “C. S. James” now, but Castiel will never forget that day. And he’ll never fall foolishly in love again, especially not for Dean Winchester. But when the wish for a big family Christmas from his sick father brings him back home, Castiel has to confront his past. And not only that: a letter from a little fan from his home town is weighing heavy on his conscience. Reaching out to a troubled kid might endanger his secret identity. Adding to the problem is the shock of discovering that Dean is the little girl’s father – unattached and hotter than ever. Dean’s smile still makes Castiel melt, but Castiel knows that ship has sailed. The fact that Dean seems to be on board this time, however, doesn’t make it any easier for him.

I Won't Even Wish for Snow by Annie D (scaramouche) (Teen and Up, 6k words)

It’s the third year that Castiel’s spending Christmas with his best friend’s family, and he expects it to be much like the previous two. Then mistletoe happens.

Nine Times We Met (And One Christmas We Parted) by almaasi (Explicit, 58k words)

On the last day of school before Christmas vacation, Mr. Castiel Quinn discovers that one of his young students has smuggled male pornography into the classroom. Upon being told that the photos belong to the boy's uncle, Castiel vows to himself that he will keep the other man's preferences a secret. It's 1947; a man experiencing attraction to another man or fantasising about his sexual touch are transgressive faults, which could potentially result in imprisonment - or worse. But then the uncle walks in. The photos are of him: Dean Winchester, a rogue with an empty pocket and a child to feed. Castiel doesn't know it yet, but his life is never going to be the same again. Years pass between chance meetings, but even though they live their lives apart, Dean and Castiel's story is proof that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.

One for Each Night by VioletHaze (Explicit, 3k words)

A chance look at a Chanukah display in a shop window takes Dean back a quarter of a century to a childhood memory he thought he’d forgotten. Cas can’t change what happened then, but he finds a way to make sure Dean has a new, happier association with the holiday. Dean knows just how to thank him.

Serendipity by whelvenwings (General audiences, 23k words)

Stuck on opposite sides of the country, Dean and Cas make big sacrifices to be together at a special time of the year. However, when they realise that their joint idea of paying a surprise visit to each other's faraway home has left them still trapped miles away from each other, they have to find some way to meet in the middle - and it has to be before midnight if it's going to be perfect…

T'was the Night Before Christmas by Jacqueline Albright-Beckett (xaandria) (Teen and Up, 1k words)

Surgical tech Dean and vascular surgeon Cas share their first Christmas -- but they've only been together a handful of days.

The Secret Santa of Cubicle Land by followyourenergy (General audiences, 4k words)

Castiel Novak has never loved the workplace Secret Santa tradition, but he loves watching his coworker (and his very straight, secret crush) Dean Winchester’s enthusiastic responses to his daily gifts. Dean is so enthusiastic that he declares he’s going to ask his Secret Santa on a date. They’re both in for a surprise.

where you lead, I will follow by teacass (Fushigi) (General audiences, 6k words)

“Cas,” Dean says. “Light of my life. The sole provider of my happiness. The reason I get up in the morning. The bestest friend I have ever had. Please, give me coffee.” -- Or five Christmas Eves Dean had coffee at Cas' cafe, and one Christmas night he didn't. A small Gilmore Girls AU with coffee, Christmas trees, and first kisses.

[d1gitalys]

Astarion, 'Little Star', as a name:

CW mentions of pedophilia (speculation), also BG3 SPOILERS I'm sure this has been plenty discussed before but I must say, without any interactions with the fandom prior that could lead me to the conclusion, realising for myself that Astarion's name ('Little Star') could correlate to the fact he died *so young* for an elf was CHILLING. This man still has his baby name that he never got to grow out of- they would choose a more adult name at around a century of age, and finally be viewed as actually mature by their fellow elves I think about this a lot because there's also the fact Cazador was turned quite young- but he's been around for God knows how long now, he'd definitely not view himself as young still- yet he ABSOLUTELY would recognise Astarion as such. It makes the way he talks about them being a 'family' and Astarion the 'prodigal son' so much more chilling, that he really is a child in comparison in more ways than just the sheer age difference. the SPECIFIC age he found Astarion at plays into it too. He's a pathetic weakling boy in Cazador's eyes because he was their equivalent of a teen. The fact Astarion also seems to believe this in the way he's not chosen a new name yet (despite being now over two centuries old). Some people might claim it's because he's attached to the name, due to his past or something- the fact he says he remembers nothing before he was turned, and maybe the name is one of the only parts of that? I do appreciate both interpretations but I'm more inclined to believe it's because he thinks he's basically suspended in time (which is kind of true, the way he doesn't physically age anymore), which checks out with his non-ascended act 3 romance bit, where he says that he was buried for two centuries, and it's time to start living again. The age thing makes me wonder how many of Astarion's earlier 'finds' to take back to Cazador were aware of this. Of course he'd be seen as mature enough by other species' standards at the same rate as humans- but any older elves Astarion may have managed to 'seduce' in his early days? That's kind of nasty, to me it yells pedophilic intent (you're welcome to argue with me on this, but I'm not likely to change my mind). Part of me wonders if he would have avoided such people, but part of me thinks he wouldn't- maybe he would have for his own pride, but became too desperate when Cazador insisted on more people and he simply had to fulfill. Or maybe he went along with it almost eagerly, knowing that willing targets are easier to deal with- and glad to get rid of them. Nasty stuff. These targets, too- depending on your choices, you can kill or release all the 700 vampire spawn- but how many of those are disgusting, sick people? How many of those absolutely deserved to rot there for however long they did, never seeing the light again? How badly might it affect Astarion to know that if he frees these people, they'll do horrendous things, worse than killing? But then, to kill so many as well... of course, he doesn't give a damn about most, but there are a select few that he would have felt terrible about- it must weigh horribly on him either way, though that's not really explored very well apart from the one person who he recognised and spoke to which sort of proves how much it's been eating at him over the years, considering it's been hundreds of years People really just love to thirst over the hot vampire and whilst I am one of those people there is such depth to his character that I really appreciate; and I'm sure I'll have some more revelations later on as I go through different routes and dialogues and lore I wonder if in some timeline where he's happy with Tav, maybe after another 70 years or so, he finally allows himself to choose an adult name. Or maybe he is attached to the name Astarion after all. Who's to say.

[noroi1000]

Here a cute request it when Gojo meets y/n father for the first time but thing is that he is a total dilf so Gojo mistake him as y/n date or rival to y/n. As for how they meet is? It when y/n get ready to go for her father day. But while her father is waiting for her to be ready. Gojo see him and y/n dad tell him he is here for y/n and then Gojo try to get him to leave but y/n dad realise that Gojo mistook him as date and instead correct him. He decided to have fun with him for good while. Then when y/n come to meet her dad. She like dad I’m ready for our father and daughter day and then Gojo like wait dad??? I can imagine Suguru and Shoko laughing their ass off at this situation. Oh you can choose which Gojo you want to use teen Gojo or adult gojo. It entirely up to you

Father's Day

Paring: Gojo x reader

Shot type: fluff comedy

Summary: Your best friend mistakes your father for your boyfriend. His mind began to think only that you like Dilf, and did not let him explain what is true.

Today was Father's Day, and Satoru thought you invited them on some outing to have a good time out. No one had to celebrate that day or party with dad all day. Well, you invited them to go out on the town together to have a good time. So he agreed without hesitation. Probably as well as Geto and Ieiri, because they also enjoyed spending time with you.

You were friends, and maybe there was even a chance that the two of you would be together someday? But this is nothing confirmed. You are 18 years old. You still have time. For now as friends, later everything will be revealed. Because he likes you very much.

And also he is able to chase all your potential boyfriends. Because your best friend can't easily find someone suitable for you who isn't himself.

However, your relationship is best friends for now. Just enough.

And with the kind of guys you've surrounded yourself with, it's going to be a little hard for you to find a boyfriend who lives up to their standards.

According to Shoko, your boyfriend can't be too old, especially since you're 18.

According to Suguru, your boyfriend can't be too young because he will act like a brat.

According to Mei Mei, your boyfriend can be older than you as long as he knows how to spoil you and is handsome enough.

According to Utahime, you should follow the voice of your heart and choose someone who suits you.

Nanami said something similar, saying that you need to find someone with whom you will have a good time.

And Satoru said it all at once. At the same time denying it and confirming it. He was literally describing himself at times.

But something else must be said, he was saying it unconsciously. Because he didn't know what to say to his friend, also to the person with whom there is a chance that something will develop between you.

Your parents say so, all your relatives say so. And Satoru, even if he's never met your parents, knows that they must know well who would suit you.

Therefore, when he saw a rather tall man standing at the exit from the side where you lived for some time, he began to wonder who he was.

He stood next to you on the other side, waiting for you to go.

But then the man next to you got the call and when he said your name, including "I love you, see you soon" his jaw clenched and his eyes widened.

Was he your new boyfriend or what?

Who was this guy?

He looks at least 20 years older than you.

Honestly, Gojo never thought your type might be a dilf. Older, you can see that he's had some life behind him. Even the ring on his finger...

If you're dating an older, married man, he needs to talk you out of it quickly.

He looked more closely at the man nearby. His arms were wrapped tightly in a long-sleeved black sweater with gray pants. His jaw was sharp and his eyes small. He was obviously older than them. Light stubble on his face, and a firm solid posture of his whole body.

Do you like such men?

If he said "I love you" to you, there must be more to your relationship.

And you never said anything about you having a boyfriend.

Later he got a call from his friends. Who asked him where he was with you.

As he said your name, the older man looked at him questioningly.

"Are you (y/n)'s friend?" he asked referring directly to him. And he also immediately showed that he had no bad intentions at all.

"I'm her best friend," he murmured. "And who are you? I didn't think (y/n) would have a boyfriend like that... I thought I was her type."

"What? No. I'm not her boyfriend. I'm her–"

The white haired man interrupted him before he could continue.

"Are you her friend? lover? sugar daddy? Some guy who will fight for her attention? I know I'm her type, so don't try so hard. Because even if you're her boyfriend and she likes older men who are literal dilf, I'll be better."

"What the hell are you talking about? I came because (y/n) wanted us to spend the day together." He growled looking at the slightly taller teen.

"She was supposed to spend the day with us today. If she wanted to introduce us to her boyfriend, you don't mean to. Go where you came from and let her be with someone her age. Even though she likes Dilf so much... I'm a bit older than her.” He rolled his eyes.

"I'm here for (y/n), and how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not her boyfriend. She's important to me, but I would never be her boyfriend. She's mine-."

Again he couldn't finish.

"I don't want to hear about her being your sugar baby."

"You're wrong. I'm her -."

"Oh, hello Satoru."

Geto and Shoko came to wait for you as well.

"What's going on here?" asked the dark haired man.

"I'm just telling this guy that it's not possible for (y/n) to like this type of guy like him." He pointed at it with his thumb.

"Satoru, I don't want to scare you or hit your ego, but he's–"

"You're all here! Thank you for coming!" You said cheerfully as you walked over to them all.

You smiled brightly at the older man and walked over to hug him.

"I'm ready for our father and daughter day. Thank you for coming." You said as you pulled away from him.

"Wait... Father and daughter day...?" Satoru asked as his body froze for a moment.

"I tried to tell you that, boy." said the man.

"Satoru? Something's wrong? This is my dad. (f/n) (l/n)."

He didn't know it.

Why didn't he know your dad was coming today?

Why did he mistake him for your boyfriend?!

Why did he think you like dilf?!

Why did everyone know except him?!

His mouth was open as he looked at you. He didn't know if he should apologize or just leave.

Especially when he heard Suguru and Shoko snorting with laughter.

[slveepyscwrs]

You want ACTUALLY obscure ship dynamics inspired by small fandoms WITH prompts for each of them to help you write? I got you bestie:

I get the frustration. You want to explore a new ship dynamic to practice your romance writing skills, but you can't find anything aside from the same old.

If that sounds like something you struggle with, here are some ship dynamics that are criminally underused because I've either seen it in a fandom that's teeny-tiny, or I thought of them myself and I haven't been able to see it anywhere.

(Disclaimer: Some of these MIGHT be slightly popular already, so don't go saying "erm actually I've already seen this trope used a bunch of times." I'm not saying that these ideas haven't been used at all, I'm just saying that their popularity is very less compared to some other tropes. I'm also not trying to judge anyone who likes popular tropes.)

Be sure to tag me if you use any of the prompts included here!

Teacher x Teacher. Blame Mr. Ajayi x Mr. Farouk from Heartstopper for my obsession with this. I know, Heartstopper itself isn't a small fandom, but this shipping trope is. Student x Student has already been done a gazillion times. Student x Teacher... uh... not everyone's cup of tea. Teacher x Teacher has a lot of opportunities for fluff and angst, and is also good practice for writing older characters.

(+ Bonus Points if the students notice and try to get them together and/or just sit there confused because how the hell did we get here?)

Prompt Ideas:

"It's 10:00 P.M., and you're still grading tests? Nope, I'll handle them, and you need to go home and rest."

"This is the third time this week that you've been crying in the teacher's lounge. That's it, tell me the names of the kids that I need to give a piece of my mind and extra homework to."

2. Childhood Enemies to Lovers. Before you say, "Wouldn't that just count as enemies to lovers?," the vast majority of enemies to lovers that I've seen involve A and B meeting when they're already teens/young adults.

We love childhood friends to lovers. We love enemies to lovers. Why not have both?

The media that I got this trope from is a BL drama called "We Best Love." If I gushed about how much I love this series and how it lives rent-free in my head, this post would last forever.

(+ Bonus Points If they realise that they never really actually hated each other, it was just a silent lie they were telling each other throughout their childhood.)

Prompt Ideas:

"You couldn't even let me have the slide for five seconds when we were kids. Why are you doing all this for me only now?"

"Wait, don't tell me you're still holding grudges from when we were literally in diapers?"

3. Okay guys today we've gathered to come up with a plan to get these two gosh darn idiots together. I don't really know how to describe it other than that. I also don't recall seeing it any of my fandoms, mostly from my OC stories.

However, I don't know if it's just me, but I LOVE seeing the ship's friends getting involved in having the ship sail successfully. We Stan supportive friends, and the comedy that comes with such situations is a surefire way to keep readers hooked.

(+Bonus Points if two of the friends slowly realise their feelings for each other WHILE doing their shenanigans to try and get the main ship together. Extra Chaos.)

Prompt Ideas:

"What are you suddenly doing here?" "[Friend] sent me." "That's weird, [Friend] sent me too." "Wait..."

"You're telling me that they still didn't realise they have feelings for each other? Ugh, fine, I guess it's time for Plan B..."

I have a lot more of these, but this post is getting too long. If you want to hear more about lesser known tropes, please show some love to this post!

Love,

Your Gay Writing Bestie

[trickostars]

What r your thoughts on each Futuristic Four member 👀👀👀 (i am holding back a flood of excitement i like ur art btw)

WAHHH thank you I am also very excited. I have soo many thoughts. More under the cut

Violet

- I am totally unbiased abt her she totally isn’t my favourite incredibles character. I totally didn’t basically kin her when I was little

- also her speech about like “the government only gives rich people a slap on the wrist and lets them go” like girl the second supers get legalised you work for the government!! your mom works for a billionaire!! Do you know that?

- down to some headcanons. I think she’s very much the voice of reason in the four, between both of the boys being kinda impulsive and penny just eager to do things, someone has to make sure they don’t blow themselves up. She’s the only eldest child amongst the four and it heavily shows, half the time she looks like this:

- that said she isn’t above the mischief they all get up to, she likes being able to relax and not think with reason for a wee bit as long as it doesn’t cause mass destruction. She’s the logical friend but she isn’t like the mom friend or anything like that.

- she’s also the tank which is funny considering she looks like a twig but those shields + two traumatic experiences sure do a lot in terms of fighting skills.

- I also think she involves her life the least in the sphere of the four. she has a decent social life at home and she almost sees the four as an extension of her hero life rather than her personal life, they don’t know anything about tony and have never interacted with dash and Jack jack, maybe one time one of them interacted with her parents but it wasn’t what she wanted. this might cause problems down the line.

- she’s a very musical girlie, I definitely stole this from someone else but her friends like dropping off vintage vinyl in their homes to her since she doesn’t like buying them herself and she’s very much a teenager with music blaring from her room but it’s like. The Beatles or something instead of my chemical romance. until it IS my chemical romance because penny drops off one of her old cd players and you know violet would THRIVE with early y2k pop rock and it only gets better when Wilbur donates his mom and dad’s old cd collections. this ends up with her having insane taste, half franny’s broadway tracks, electro swing and emo phase and half lewis’ lonely island and weezer tracks

- she also very much is an “acts of service” kinda affectionate for her friends. She’s the tallest so she grabs things from high shelves, opens jars, luges things around the lab for Hiro, organises Penny’s stuff for her sometimes, definitely helps organise Wilbur’s space cause it’s a mess etc.

- oh and. idk if you wanted lgbt headcanons but. bi violet. she learns what it from one of the others (probably Hiro considering his friends are a fruit salad) and is like “OHHHH that makes sense.”

Wilbur

- there’s something wrong with him. I fully believe that it is not the future that is Like That but in fact just the Robinsons that are Like That and that becomes more believable when you realise most of the weirder robinsons’ family members were kids, teens and young adults right between y2k and now. They are pretty much eccentric rich people, but like morally good.

- he’s not much of an engineer or inventor like his dad but is actually way more artsy like his mom, but instead of music he likes model making and Lego like stuff. he’s thinking of studying architecture when he’s older though he’s pretty unsure of his path forward in life in general. He’s only a kid.

- in general actually he’s pretty unsure of himself, often dotting back from interest to interest, whim to whim until it doesn’t interest him. 99% sure he has adhd tbh but surprisingly he doesn’t struggle with things like school, but more with his sense of identity, he cannot define himself properly quite often and is constantly driven to find a purpose in life, since both of his parents knew who they were rather early in life and as he gets older this is just a more stressful prospect to him. He is very loud and boisterous to make up for this

- so as can be expected, the adventure that landed him to meet the others was just a whim that stuck. And maybe he feels guilty for that but he’s happy it happened.

- he’s very much the kinda teenager boy who sees himself as invulnerable and he often is the one who creates humiliatingly dangerous scenarios the other three have to save him from. Sadly, none of these saves have halted his own belief in his invulnerability, but instead made him wanna reach greater heights of almost dying. at least he’s pushing his friends’ limits, both power wise and nerve wise.

- I headcanon he didn’t really do school, more like a private tutor, as the youngest in his entire family and only child he very much is the kinda kid who’s best friend is one of his uncles or his cousins. No, he doesn’t let any of the others come around to his, his parents would kill him, does he steal the Time Machine to visit at least one of them at least ONCE a day, of COURSE what ELSE will he do all day??

- to no ones surprise, he’s very much the distraction of the group, a master of distracting people as much as himself so Hiro and violet can GET em. It’s how he makes up for being the one who starts most of the fights.

- definitely organises group dnd sessions that he dms and when he gets bored he sculpts their characters for funsies. he has 10k+ word docs worth of lore.

- speaking of which, loves giving gifts, usually little models and projects he makes.

Hiro

- he is the most social member of the group but it was not his decision, he inherited his brother’s friend group of full grown adults and I’m not entirely sure if he would be socially conscious enough to keep up with the four if not for everyone wanting him to finally have friends his own age. It’s not that he doesn’t like any of his friends, in fact he loves a lot of people pretty easily, it’s just that he gets dragged down in his personal projects so much that he maybe struggles to put in effort a wee bit sometimes.

- he is also the main host for hangouts, in his workshop or the cafe because the other four can poke around too much in his bedroom and he doesn’t really like anyone going near tadashi’s part of the room or messing around with his “order” of things, aka the mess he understands.

- it was priority one after they all become besties that he design supersuits for them, he especially liked the challenge of actually working and amplifying violet’s power while creating abilities for penny and wilbur. for penny he of course included bolt as well, copying a lot of the tech shown in the movie to make them a tag team duo with matching coloured armour while wilbur he just gave green lantern construct thingies. He gave them these as a gift and sadly none of them get a lot of use out of them but they appreciate it none the less and he enjoyed the project A LOT.

- he is also very much a gift giver, he’s not good with words so effort is the best he can show.

- he’s a little bit hypocritical in that if he gets hurt he’s very stubborn with baymax’s attempts to heal him but if ANY of his friends get even a scratch on them he’s pushing Baymax on them like “no no, get that cleaned up. get a bandaid. come on. Don’t fight him about it.” With his arms crossed

- he felt so awkward when he introduced the six to the four. they got along great, besides some lingering awkwardness and Fred’s joking attempt at a rivalry but he couldn’t help but feel like SOMETHING was gonna go wrong at every turn. He was surprised in fact to see them get along so well.

- Hiro often acts as the secondary fighter for them all, most of the time when he’s with them he doesn’t have access to Baymax so he just tries his best with armour and it’s small amount of gear.

- he’s the one who gets talked into doing dumb things for the sake of doing them. He doesn’t have the teenage boy invulnerability of Wilbur, more like the scientific mind that wants to do the most dangerous version of every test on mythbusters. He always has Baymax on stand by, his fatal flaw is just thinking that will always be enough.

- oh and just as a wee add on, I like to imagine him as autistic and aroace. And maybe trans, mostly because the idea of Baymax doing t-shots is fun to me.

Penny

- probably my biggest character change, cause penny is a wee bit nothing in the original movie. Not her choice really but there are things to expand on which I do. I know one of the more common things to do is make penny an actual secret agent like she in her show but I think it’s funnier for her to just be like. a retired child actor who hangs out with a bunch of superheroes and geniuses by accident. She is just a guy.

- But she is a very traumatised guy, between the fire incident and just y’know- being a child star for a semi Disney coded network, she’s got some stuff going on. Mainly breathing problems and some panic attacks. Thankfully, Bolt is a very job-oriented dog so with acting out of the picture, they had him trained up as a therapy animal which of course he does amazingly and diligently. Her mom moving them onto a farm was also very much a part of this, the clean air and work she thought would be good for her.

- She’s just now adjusting to being a more regular child, having acted for a long time, and is on the path back into integrating into school but she has yet to make any friends, especially not her own age. She’s often stuck at home so she’s very welcoming to her friends’ visits to her as it eats up her time.

- Penny’s place is the most common hangout spot for all of them as it’s just her, her mom and the animals and a lot of room to do whatever they want. Penny is always find with them being around and actively makes attempts to keep em around as long as possible so she doesn’t go stir crazy, week long sleepovers in summer and stuff like that.

- She also likes how if she travels to any of their own time period, she doesn’t have to deal with the fear of paparazzi and gossip tabloids and that’s probably why she’d rather travel to San Fransokyo for anything like buying a toothbrush or a snack rather than drive down the road.

- Treats Baymax like a pet quite often, petting him and calling him a good boy just out of habit, the others find it funny but she always gets embarrassed.

- she’s the healer of the group, when Baymax isn’t around, and Bolt acts as an attack dog part time. she gets panicked a lot by seeing her friends hurt so running in with a medkit to clean them up is always her top priority. She hides it well but it stresses her out when hiro and violet aren’t around cause she’s worried they’ll get grievously injured in battle.

- she’s also big on words of affirmation, team hypeman to the extreme. She cares about her friends a whole lot and she will tell them exactly why with no excuse or insecurity allowed. This doesn’t go over well most of the time considering violet and hiro can’t handle compliments and wilbur will soak it in with way too wide a grin.

[parasolyaa]

Since you said we could ask you things about Ukraine I was wondering about the drinking culture?

I'm slavic and it bothers me when it's portrayed as everyone in this country drinks and no one bats an eye to underaged drinking I want to hear your thoughts? It's fine if not this might be a stupid discussion to have right now

yess this is a good question and also such a pain-in-the-ass topic tbh, i wasn’t really sure how to approach it at first. this stereotype is annoying and, if we dig deeper, it comes from a place of prejudice.

but the thing is that i cannot fully debunk it

at least for me, i’ve seen adults not mind or even encourage underage drinking at family gatherings. if there is a celebration, a teen would usually be offered some wine, and, as far as everything is supervised, adults usually find it ok. never trying an alchoholic beverage till 18 is somewhat seen as prudish, but on a small scale.

there are drinking problems! but, obviously, alcoholism itself is very frowned upon. a supervised sip of champagne in a family circle is one thing, geting drunk in the bushes with your classmate vlad is another.

so, yes, eastern europeans do drink. and so do western europeans, americans, australians, africans, everyone. i’d say situations are very similar, sometimes better, sometimes worse. there are stereotypes about them too! but when it comes to portraying a country with barabaric drinking habits, people aim for slavs. the reason for so much misinterpretation in media is a general stereotype of eastern europeans being “lower class” and “barely europe”.

and also, perhaps, because while the western society is set on condemning teen drinking all the way (without solving anything about it and romanticising it in media), slavic/balkan people take a more grounded approach. they recognise that, while this is an issue, a kid cannot be sheltered from it and better they try it with their grandpa kuzma on a front porch of a village house and view it as a normal part of life, rather than with god knows who and god knows where. american teens drink young too, in similar amounts, but for them it’s the thrill of doing something forbidden, unnatural and adult that makes the experience. but if you grew up without it being taboo, you’re starting to realise it doesn’t really make you cool.

ukrainian teens cringe at american tv shows with teens getting drunk at 16 at a houseparty with a dramatic lightning. while both the ukrainian teen watching and the american character have probably consumed the same amount of alchohol in their lives!

a more grounded approach is misinterpreted as allowing kids to become alcoholics, which, well, sucks. say, we can’t really take away mishas drinking out of the story, but we should recognise that the whole thing with “culturally engrained alcoholism” and “sacred tradition to drink on birthday” is bullshit

hope it was a decent answer lol

[psychologeek]

Epilogue

So. This happened.

The day I feared and longed for has come.

I posted the last chapter of "Some of Them (want you)"

Feel free to comment, ask, or make any "based on" fanwork (just send me a link, and link back to my fic.)

Thank you to all those who've been there through the journey, or just stopped by. For everyone who left a comment.

Special thanks to @byrambles for the original fanfic that inspired me. You are a great writer, friend, and I'm always exited to see a note about any of your new works :)

In case you haven't seen my pinned post, This Whumptober I'm opening my Ask box for requests and prompts! What do that mean? Well, have you ever wanted to read more about something? This might be your lucky day.

Here's part of the endnotes:

My main thoughts, as I started writing this fic, were "I need to talk about Dami's suicide". I refused to let it be, or mistaken as actual death. It's been a a draft in my docs since August 2023, as I wrote "Sweet Dreams". Eventually, the things I wrote - the things I NEEDED to (hear) tell - are in chapter 14. (you aren't a failure. You succeeded to survive.

It's not a bad thing.) ~ I didn't think I'll get so deep into trauma and suicidality in this fic. Especially not child suicidality.

In fact, I rewrote chapter 15 several times, to keep out the harder topics. But then I realised that, actually- (No one ever talks about it. ) We should talk about it. (Because it's there, and it's hard, and it's consuming). And so the whole situation with young!Damian. As I realised that, despite all differences, Dami and Damian do share some experience and major characteristics: their sense of honour, responsibility, violent upbringing. They both care deeply, but only those they consider "mine". They are very different, yes, but they both lacked stability and had lost their main caretaker more then once. They both had to grow up too fast. Taking more then they can handle.) They both experienced things no child should. (And I know it. I know how it feels. Sure, "they had worse". But suffering is subjective. Suffering doesn't care about others. You can't banish pain by telling someone "others have it worse! How dare you complain?"). And I thought - Dami had first tried to kill himself when he was 10, because he felt like there's no hope. That this was the only escape. Damian is 10/11. And he feels like a burden. (Suicide is one of the 3 leading causes of death in ages 7-24). Sure, it's different. But being a child is HARD. Adults usually don't think about it. When I was a teen, so many told me "this is the best time of my life" (If this is the best," I thought, "I don't want to see the rest of it". They lied, dear reader. My 20s are better, and so will be my 30s and 40s. I have silver hairs growing, and they reflect the lights when I look in the mirror. I have a crack by my lip and the start of crow legs by my eyes, that reminds me that I do laugh. I do smile. That things DO get better.)   The world is hard and chaotic, and trying to make sense out of it is demanding, frustrating, consuming job. We do it, slowly. It just takes time. ~ Dami had Alfred. Damian.... Doesn't even have Richard now. (And feeling lonely or isolated is a risk factor. Major life changes is a risk factor. Death of a loved one is a risk factor. Feeling like a burden is a risk factor. Damian had been screaming for help for a long time, in the only way he knows. He deserves to be heard.) ~ On a personal note: This fic (and series) had been a big part of my life in the last year. This brought me some stability and escapism in the hard times we've gone through (that are still happening). The writing process had been complicated and funny, hard and delightful, torture and pleasure. Thank you, reader, for taking the time to read it. Thank you for those who stayed here, who waited every week for a chapter (and waited patiently during The Big Crisis). Thank you for those who just found it, and might have read it in a single day. (Now go get some water!) Thank you, reader, for being here. I hope you enjoyed. (And good night, Dreamers. Good night.)

[ryuichirou]

Hello!! I'm too shy to send you this out of anon, but I wanted to let you know how much I admire you. I'm a TWST artist myself, and I like certain problematic tropes and pairings. I also want to draw nsfw of my favorite ships, but I'm too afraid of doing it. The anti movement in fandoms is too overwhelming and I'm scared of people going after me. I don't mind kids yelling at me for drawing teens doing what most teens do nowadays (like sex) but everything has escalated so far that people are willing to doxx you and ruin your life over what you ship or draw, and that's what I'm scared of. I know that you probably get nasty messages and people bothering you, but seeing you and Katsu continue creating regardless of what people might say gives me encouragement to post whatever I want. And you seem to be a sunshine of a person, not to mention that your art is amazing. I wish I could post daily as you but sometimes I'm a little bit lazy and I yet need more confidence even if I've been drawing since I was a teen. Anyways, sorry if this got longer, but thank you for contributing amazing art to the TWST fandom. (I'm also into Hetalia and SnK!!! Seeing that you like DenNor made my day haha)

Sending you and Katsu my best regards!

First of all, thank you so much for your support and for your kindness, Anon. And thank you for messaging us at all about this topic, even if anonymously. I think this is a very important thing to talk about, and your message honestly made us kind of emotional. It was a bad idea to read it before going to bed lol

Just like you said, the anti movement is honestly psychotic. I feel like a lot of people who participate in it simply don’t realise the weight of their actions and words, which make sense, because the majority of them are very young; and the ones that are adults are usually quite deranged and dangerous. It’s not rare for their actions to lead to horrible consequences, but I guess this is nothing new. It used to be overbearing conservative parents, now it’s some kids with too much free time. That being said, these days we see more and more people who ignore, criticize or ridicule the antis for their hypocrisy, and this is very nice to see.

We really do get quite a lot of hate, but honestly, we used to get even more stupid comments, even though we haven’t been hated with such passion before. But still, the support we’re getting now is also much more impactful and vocal than what we used to get. There also are people who aren’t even into our ships, but would defend us just because of what this whole thing represents: their own right to do whatever they want when it comes to fiction.

Our personal thing is that we’re just way too spoiled and self-indulgent with stuff that we like. Even if it meant that we’d never get hate, we would be miserable if we had to restrict ourselves for the sake of others; and I know that because we tried. So the worst thing that could happen is that we’ll stop posting, but we’ll still continue creating, because it gives us too much joy to give it up just because someone has no friends at school and wants to impress other antis with their sick (moronic) post when they completely miss the point of our content and ignore our 18+ warnings.

So yeah, I hope you’ll remember what you love about drawing and keep doing whatever you want, even if you don’t post it. But I also think that, if you’re comfortable at any point, you should also post it. You can create an account with no link to your regular acc and your personal info whatsoever and post whatever you want there. You could still get hate, but at least it will be safer and without any high stakes, although I understand you might feel fear because people could recognise your artstyle and connect the dots.

Also preventive bans work wonderfully. If we stumble upon a post that has certain aggressive messages (you know the ones), we simply block everyone who interacted with that post. It takes time, but it’s worth it, I think. Hell, people use “call-out” (because there is nothing to call out, we’ve stated everything plainly ourselves) posts with us to block people.

Also also, ironically, ignoring the hate also kind of helps… I know it’s easy to say, and it’s not a 100% guarantee, but we just think that people are more prone to attacking you if you react to hate in any way. So the best thing is literally to just block and delete it. Oh, and always report it if it gets aggressive – this could do nothing, but it could also bitchslap them out of nowhere lol

Anyways… I am very grateful and glad if we could give you any type of reassurance and comfort with our posts. I hope to see your stuff one day, and I hope there’ll be more people who post whatever they want, so fandoms can become healthier again.

And I’m very happy you like Hetalia and SnK too, especially DenNor! <3

Thank you again from both of us, and I hope you’re having a good day.

[ace-exploring]

One tiny pill

I think another thing that took me so long to figure out I was asexual was that I was on a contraceptive pill from when I was 15 to when I got married at age 27. I came off it when I got married 10 years ago. I thought it was completely normal to only be sexually interested in the person you married and no one else.

The birth control pill can influence who you find attractive. I happily identified as heterosexual while I was on the pill, but it wasn't the real me.

https://behavioralscientist.org/quality-sex-relationships-birth-control-pill-research-effects/

And the thing that pisses me off is that I didn't WANT to go on the pill, but as soon as I got a boyfriend in high school my mum packed me off to the doctor. Very clearly assuming that I would immediately be engaging in sexual intercourse because clearly, that's what NORMAL teens do.

And I didn't actually have sex for the first time until I was 22. I was on the pill for 7 years before I even 'needed' it.

I said to my male doctor, very embarrassed, "I probably won't be having sex very often, isn't there something I can just take afterwards instead?" (meaning instead of taking a pill every day, was there just something I could take after intercourse to prevent pregnancy). And he said no.

(I don't know how popular IUDs were in the early 2000s but this was never an option provided to me - this still puts fake hormones in your body so the result might have been the same.)

When I was 15 I had a better idea of being ace than during the 12 years I spent on that little pill having the hormones fuck up my body. I was so close to realising I was ace when I was 15 and faking a crush because my friends were pressuring me to 'pick someone'. If I had been given a bit more time, maybe I could have figured it out.

Then going on the pill made me think I was hetero all these years. No wonder it took me so long to figure out I'm ace. I missed that crucial teen-to-young-adult development and realisation.

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

My final thoughts about season 1 of Heartstopper

Was surprised by how little they changed from the books (despite being told as much by a very helpful fan).

It just felt like there was....more. Not saying Alice is a bad writer (she literally created one of my newest obsessions & is helping make the show), but the graphic novels are almost exclusively Nick & Charlie focused. Which isn't bad, persay. I literally love them as individual characters & as a couple, but it definitely makes the story feel "smaller" & a little rushed at times, to me (but I know she originally created Heartstopper when she was very young so I think stuff like that are very understandable flaws) & I'm sure tons of people don't have a problem with the pacing of the books & might even find the show too slow or "bloated'. I, however, personally appreciate the changes made (minus not getting to witness Nick whine to his mum about his boyfriend not being allowed to come on their holiday because that was hilarious). Most storylines were neither dragged out for too long nor so quickly resolved that things ended on an anticlimatic note, with most characters being given enough time, with the amount of episodes they have, for characters to doubt/second guess themselves & argue like obviously they're teens & are going through difficult stuff (I know haters wanna act like this series is "too perfect, that it's boring," but most of the characters are lgbtq+ & are shown facing at least some kind of struggle because of that). Which just gives the series a little more time to breathe. I think this is clearly shown/felt with the supporting cast.

The big moments in the book seem to be solely Nick or Charlie's. The other characters, much more secondary, only getting snippets of focus/attention tacked on at the end of volumes or their situations already being pretty much established by the time they're introduced. Theres little discovery for them, no getting to see the stirings of them first developing/realising a crush. Instead, Elle & Tao already like each other (even if they won't admit it) & their friend group already knows. Tara is just tottally open about being a lesbian from the get go (seemingly suffering no scrutiny) when we meet her in the book & so we never get Darcy feeling bad about how the change in their relationship is difficult for the person she loves.

I guess it's so we, the audience, can strictly focus on the development of the Nick x Charlie relationship. Which again isn't bad, but I definitely prefer it this way. Changes the serise from having two leads & the rest just being supporting characters to it feeling much more like an ensemble cast of genuine friends who all have their own lives & issues to sort out.

Also I actually kinda love the addition of Imogen like yeah she was annoying with the 'who your texting' thing & just how oblivious she was about Nick clearly not being into her (she over came that though, thank god) but even when she was at her most problimatic (I'm an ally) she was at least hilarious. I've said 'Come on Nickalous' to myself at least once a day since I watched that episode & you're gonna have to rip that habit from my cold, dead hands! In conclusion, some of you are a little too eager to hate on teen girls sometimes (like, at worst, she's cringey). I do hope she's more respectful in regards to LGBTQ+ stuff moving forward of course, but like character development is also a thing & unlike Harry & Ben (self haiting though he obviously is) she wasn't shown to be an actual bully. I just think the internet, which woobifies toxic male characters on the regular, shouldn't judge her as harshly as I've seen some people do (though I will admit a lot of them are probably doing so mostly as a joke, its just a little weird hearing adults refer to someone who's supposed to be like 15, as a bitch/slut). Anyway, rant over, lol.

Can't wait to continue this lovely series.

[alkistisnetwide]

Self-expression?

I saw a musician tonight walking through the tourist area of my Greek city. He was playing his guitar and singing in the shadow of an old building, far away from where the crowd gathers to watch buskers and dancers. His voice was harsh, he was playing what you'd call disposable music, he had a long, unkept beard, he wore clothing in the style of the 2000s. Nobody lingered to listen to him.

But something about him sent me back to my childhood.

I always had this urge to create. Daydreaming was my major pastime ever since I remember. Even when my imagination could not produce much more than a simple combination of what simple concepts and settings were constant in my life, even when I didn't know to write yet. I sincerely loved a specific kind of music. Things brought out very strong emotions in me and I expressed them strongly, everyone told my family I was going to be an actress. I was a stubborn, reactive, opinionated girl. I either loved or hated things, in those years I mostly only hated people. I had an abstract but persistent vision for my life and an unusual curiosity (or so it was thought by the adults around me). I was considered outstandingly intelligent, that was something I valued more that anything, I held onto it tightly through a difficult social upbringing.

I wasn't musically gifted and it bothered me. When nine year old me didn't make it into the choir I became permanently aggressive towards all its members, my music teacher and any adults that reasoned everyone had their own abilities and that was only natural. The choir became a void in myself, idealised in my young head and I cried regularly, which is not something I otherwise do much. I saw a path to becoming what I was pursuing, closed to me.

As I entered my teens I became conscious of things I wasn't thinking about before. Age and gender and the fundamental unfairness of life. The bullying and isolation I was already experiencing became significantly worse and more intentional. I didn't understand the world or myself, so I was sucked into anti-world/ incel discourse and even into a group of religious extremists, trying to understand myself and my reality, deep into depression. Most of all, I felt the need to self-expression, consciously now. Development was gradual. I taught myself how to love, I taught myself about people. I taught myself to describe my thoughts. I taught myself to trust in my imagination. I taught myself to work through tasks, those things were never taught to me as a child, my parents and I never understood each other on a fundamental level. Now I am a human being, I believe. But I once thought of my superiority as a certainty. I had never encountered something I did not feel I understood. Now I realise that I have limits. Music is something I never gave up on, but I know well it is not a possibility. I can not sing. I was not born a singer. Actually, I might not even be able to write. I might not have been born an artist.

Going back to the musician. People think art is the need of an artist. But if it was that way, why do we all listen to music, why do we carefully choose our clothing, why do we look at paintings, why do we admire great minds

Why do we model our surroundings after ourselves

Why do we become infatuated

Why do we feel an emptiness we rush to fill with constantly changing ideology, aesthetics, pleasure, money

I will expand on that thought

Why does that classmate of yours insist on drawing and calling themselves a painter, even though their drawings consist of bad quality anime-style characters

Why are you obsessed with that generic corporate-managed media franchise

Why does that friend of yours have hundreds of pages of "aesthetic" content and inspiration

Why does that older man in your family identify so strongly with an unrefined and in your opinion dangerous ideology

Why does simple music become so popular

Why is minimalism so appealing to the masses

Why did the romance genre and booktok become so popular

Why do these weirdos in your class live like hippies

Self-expression

What we see of ourselves in the outside world, digestible enough for each one of us. Sometimes, things we have experienced become the single-minded focus. Sometimes, we flow with the currents. Each one of us to the extent of the capacity of their imagination. We all yearn for the same thing

I often wonder. Am I that musician? Is everyone that musician? I see this in everyone, am I any different? Can I call myself an artist if someone else is not one? Is my personal internal experience inherent to myself or universal? If mine is not more intense, how come I operate this way. What even am I? What can I hope for?

I have been writing this for three hours. That was a nice conversation with myself. Maybe some time it will be a conversation between me and another

[malkaleh]

I keep struggling with an update because my impulse is to be like ‘no I’m getting better I’ll be fine I’m not an abusive emotional vampire trauma dumping burden it’s a good doll’ but I’m trying to not just…do that.

So I’m not okay still but I have people I can be with virtually (even just browsing tumblr can help - it’s just the sense of people being there really) and I have commitments this week that I need to be here for so I need to remember that.

Also I think, trying to cope with realising, really realising how much people on the left, even people I have admired/loved not only hate Jews but would gleefully kill us has been…like I knew, a part of me did know because I had experiences as a teen/young adult but I didn’t know it was this deep. And how scary it is and also how much is my brain being like ‘you are being paranoid and anxious! It’s just your abuse history! This is ridiculous! [government] isn’t driving this! But also when Yad Vashem and countless other Jewish organisations and people (and non Jewish experts) are like This Is Bad and Jewish Trauma Gene. Also it’s not as bad here is another thought. (But also is that even true?)

(Also my therapist is lovely but also isn’t jewish which makes sense because there are very few of us in my area and I’m struggling with how to explain. I might send some instagram account links. And I am so so thankful to my non Jewish friends who do get it, who actively Get It like I cannot even tell you how amazing that is and then I’m also grieving hard and idek)

[sign-seeker]

Was very excited to pick up Her Majesty's Royal Coven by Juno Dawson, because it looked bomb, and then realised it was LGBT lit, and became even more excited.

Was then very disappointed, because it's a bit crap. It's not total crap. Just a bit crap.

So, I didn't recognise the name Juno Dawson at first, and it transpired that she's a recently-figured-herself-out trans woman who was previously living for a long while as a gay man (same boat My Wife is in), and that she has written a whole bunch of books previously under her more famous deadname (I gather that her publisher is now reissuing her previous works under her new name) including the non-fiction "guide to Life for LGBT teens" entitled This Book Is Gay, which was, I seem to recall, infamously banned from a bunch of libraries and schools in conservative parts of the United States?

However, other than This Book Is Gay, her bread and butter was apparently Young Adult Literature, to the extent that this is part of the advertising for Her Majesty's Royal Coven, the dustcover of which read "Prepare to be bewitched by Juno Dawson's first Adult Series!" This turned out to be inaccurate: I cannot stress sincerely enough how much this book is extremely teenage YA schlock masquerading as adult literature.

Everything about this book, from the world building, to the characterisation, to it's stance on ethics, to the presentation of the central conflict, is so intensely teenage that it's almost painful to deal with.

So, worldbuilding: the entire universe is the incarnate body of Gaia the Mother, who decided that she was lonely in the primordial chaos and decided having some existence to look at might be nice. Alright, some fun cosmology to start. In transforming her boundless existence into physical form, Gaia The Mother accidentally trapped all the other beings who dwelled in the primordial chaos inside herself, caging the once boundless spirits in the prison of reality. These spirits are not happy about this, and in the guise of various Gods and Demons constantly whisper to mankind, trying to get them to destroy the world so they can be free. Fantastic, the fun cosmology comes with a neatly built-in threat and source of conflict. To combat the evil of the Demons, Gaia The Mother spoke to her children, and taught them the art of magic, so that they might defeat the Demons and forever protect the glory of physical existence from being cracked open like an egg. Good stuff, good stuff. Here's where it breaks down: the set up has presented a very spiritual approach to the concept of magic, in which the gift of magic is a personal connection to Gaia which makes you her defender and servant. You may suspect then that magic is something that can be taught, an art or a secret science, or that the powers of magic may be deeply personal or as varied as the souls of those who wield it. Nope! Instead:

1) Magic is expressly a hereditary gift, which either runs strongly in bloodlines or skips a few generations: one principal character does not come from a magic bloodline, and it is taken as read by other characters that this just means the magic skipped multiple generations and her bloodline just can't be traced to whoever she's descended from: all of the characters who matter to the plot have just been Born Special, and

2) There are only 4 types of witch, neatly categorised like fucking Hogwarts Houses, ready for the reader to make Uquiz tests to assign people to!

Elementals, who can manipulate the elements of the natural world. Note that there does not seem to be any variation in this: all elementals encountered in the book appear to be equally capable of demonstrating control over fire, wind, lightning, rain, cold, water, and on one fun occasion earthquakes. Your personal style or vibe does not seem to matter, only your power level, which determines how big you can make your elemental effects.

Healers. They heal living things. And also hurt them if they want to, so why are they called Healers? Call them something fun like Biomancers or Organoturgists.

Oracles, who see the future, but not always on demand, and who all go blind and bald from using their powers. It genuinely seems like being an Oracle is drawing the short straw in witchcraft.

Sentients, who get the Jean Grey style psychic power combo of telepathy and telekinesis.

You are born a witch, and you fall into one of these categories. You do not study or develop any kind of specialisation, as other than power level all witches with the same gift are interchangeable, and training is not about understanding your powers, or yourself, or Gaia, better, but is basically just the magic equivalent of weightlifting to learn to focus better: even then, your power level, ranked from 1 to 7, which can be determined from quite a young age, seems to determine your power cap.

There is only one exception to the above: the extremely rare Adepts. An Adept is a witch with multiple Gifts (usually just 2 but on even rarer occasions more), and whose gifts inevitably present very strongly, with high power ratings. Guess what our main character is.

So we have a set up where the potentially complex world of magic can be boiled down into easy categories, ready for all the fans to build simple OCs for. But wait, there's one more element we're missing for maximum YA projection potential.

Much has been said about the tendency of YA literature to have a protagonist who is very skilled/powerful but not personally very interesting, so nothing gets in the way of the reader projecting comfortably onto a power fantasy. In Her Majesty's Royal Coven, we theoretically have 4 main characters, 4 witches in their mid-to-late thirties who were all childhood friends, and who trade the position of viewpoint character from chapter to chapter. In practice, 2 characters, Leonie & Elle, are supporting characters, with Niamh, the rare and special Adept, as protagonist, and Helena as antagonist. But there is a fifth character who is central to the entire story, a non-viewpoint co-protagonist: Theo, transgender teenage witch, the super-duper rare TRIPLE GIFT ADEPT, and the driving point of the plot, who is, and I cannot make this clearer, a literal blank slate. Not only is she not a viewpoint character, it is a major plot point that no one can read her mind, including the 2 viewpoint characters who are actual mind readers. Over the course of the novel, Theo is given a very brief piece of backstory (victim of attempted infanticide, which happened before her conscious memories and which she only sees in her dreams, and then she was in foster care for a while, where she was sad) and the barest hint of characterisation: she's sad when people exclude her, and happy when people include her, and gets nervous easily. That's basically it. It's a tragedy that this isn't being marketed to teens, because being transgender is basically the only thing that prevents Theo being a total Everygirl Nonentity. She would be to sad teenage trans girls what Bella Swan was to sad teenage straight girls back in the noughties. With other teenagers who are much less plot-central, we hear very briefly about their fashion, their music, what their friend groups are like: Theo has nothing. She has no preference in movies, she doesn't listen to music, she only watches TV once in someone else's house because it's what they're doing, she doesn't have a favourite food, and she doesn't read any books that aren't about magic. She expresses excitement about going clothes shopping, but we learn little about her fashion or opinion regarding style: she's excited because she's being allowed to buy girl clothes for the first time. She genuinely has no identity at all beyond Sad Teenage Trans Girl.

The matter of Theo's trans-ness forms most of the novel's plot. Theo is crazy powerful, far more powerful than a "man" should be (oh yeah, Gaia is sexist. She "favours her daughters", that's a whole thing, but it's fine, it's a very 90s Girl Power vibe Gaia's got going on), and this has caused something of a stir: Niamh is of the opinion that Theo will be a credit to the Coven as a witch, and Helena is of the opinion that Theo is a dirty man at best who should be shipped off to The Man Coven (called "The Cabal"), or possibly even an evil world ending prophecy child at worst who should be put down like a dog. This is reasonable: in your transgender power fantasy, using transphobia as villainous motivation seems like a pretty sensible choice. But the way transphobia, and conversely, allyship, are presented, falls extremely short of any kind reality at all. In the world of the novel, there are no well meaning idiots, or concerned buffoons, or even people who haven't given the matter a single thought: there are only Perfect Allies, and Raging Hatemongers, and never the twain shall meet. Niamh is a Perfect Ally, who supports Theo's transition from the moment it is brought to her awareness, and who, even if she doesn't know al the answers, always knows what questions to ask in a way that won't cause offence. This is the position that Niamh, Leonie & Elle all immediately occupy: Conversely Helena, from the moment she becomes aware that Theo is trans, immediately and steadfastly refused to gender her correctly, can't stop being weird about the thought of her genitals, reduces her personhood down to being "a penis", arranges her kidnapping, and eventually betrays every oath she has ever sworn to both her sister witches and to Gaia by voluntarily freeing a Demon and letting it possess her in order to gain the power to kill Theo with her bare hands.

The concept and reality of being an ally to trans people is presented in such a simplistic and all-or-nothing fashion that it seems to distort reality. There is a brief attempt made to demonstrate that even "Allies" don't always get it right, but this is constructed in such a was as to be entirely toothless: all 3 of the Supportive viewpoint characters, at some point accidentally misgender Theo. However, all 3 of them do it in the exact same "he shit sorry she" kind of way, which feels intensely copy-pasted, like Dawson wanted to get it out of the way, but more importantly, all these occurrences happen when they are talking to each other: no one ever has that kind of accident, or any other kind of verbal or social fumble, when talking TO Theo. It's the cowards way out of writing character foibles: "look, the hero isn't perfect, but her imperfections cannot actually have any negative consequences." This is fine for YA, where the nuances of interpersonal relationships are often by necessity more broadly drawn, but in a work of adult literature it feels like a cop-out: in real life, shit like this gets fucked up a lot. My Mother In Law has never been anything but supportive of My Wife's transition, but even with all of her good intentions and her determination to get things right, she'll still sometimes ask My Wife a question that temporarily sends her to another plane of existence out of sheer frustration, and you can bet your arse that happens a hell of a lot more with other people!

This issue of good people as Perfect Allies and bad people as Raging Transphobes crops up in other, really odd ways. At one point, Niamh is having a conversation with an adult trans woman who she has sought out for advice after finding out about Theo's secret, and there is a brief aside about how nice it is that some other nations and organisations have gotten miles ahead of Britain and Her Majesty's Royal Coven in terms of trans rights, and it is noted specifically as a good thing that there are a number of transgender witches working for the CIA.

The CIA.

That BASTION OF MORALITY, The CIA.

So, leaving aside the question of whether or not an intelligence agency that orchestrates the pushing of crack cocaine into inner-city black communities in order to diminish African-American financial and political power is good because it has trans-friendly hiring practices (it isn't), this all-or-nothing approach has one other, far more character-relevant presentation, in the form of Snow.

Snow is Helena's teenage daughter: she initially joins the little witchcraft study group that Theo is in under Niamh's care because her mother has instructed her to keep an eye on Theo. It becomes clearly apparent that Snow, despite being a bit of a drawling snob, is not actually a bad sort, and doesn't really give much of a shit about her mother's concerns: sure, she'll pass on information, but her reports don't mark Theo as a danger, even when Theo accidentally almost kills someone, which Snow attributes to clumsiness rather than malice, she happily hangs out with Theo outside of study hours, even tagging along for Theo's first girl clothes shopping trip, and she actively contradicts her mother in Theo's support multiple times: she asks her mother to stop misgendering Theo in private conversation, and she even is the one who goes behind her mother's back at the climax of the novel to warn Niamh that Helena is making her climactic attack on Theo. She is, pretty clearly, Theo's friend, and quite a good one, if not overly demonstrative of that affection due to her aloof air.

Except at the end of the novel, Helena, her fucked up Demon-Crimes exposed, gets the death penalty (yes, witches still have the death penalty. They burn major criminals to death. Yeah I know, it's fucked up.) and Snow immediately swears vengeance against everyone involved, principally Niamh & Theo. Now this isn't that odd: I imagine many teenage girls would probably loose their shit if their mothers were horrifically cremated alive, regardless of their criminal circumstances, but there are 2 aspects that make it odd, 1 a little bit odd, 1 a lot odd: the little odd thing is that Snow, previously totally on the side of trans rights, is suddenly throwing around transphobic slurs regarding Theo, even when she's not talking to Theo, so you know she's not just doing it to hurt the feelings of someone she's mad at, meaning that if you become an antagonist you do literally just become a transphobe along with that. The BIG odd thing is the way Niamh as the viewpoint character, and thus the voice of the narrative for that chapter, takes this. snow says that she's going away to live her her grandparents, but that she'd be back one day to destroy Niamh & Theo, and Niamh... swears a silent and solemn vow to be ready to defeat her when she does.

No Niamh. No. Snow is not a silent movie villain, composed of pure malevolence. She's a 15 year old girl who's mother was just brutally executed for trying to kill her friend. Her feelings are clearly all over the place, and as a grown adult and Snow's former teacher, Niamh does not need to be swearing a solemn vow to beat the shit out of a grieving child. Snow needs help, and kindness, and time, and possibly some weed, and definitely a therapist, not a grown woman with super-powers saying "oh yeah, now that your mum's dead I'm in the market for a new arch-nemesis". But this is not a world where people are allowed to be complex: Snow is a baddie now, and that means she must be destroyed, and that also means she's a transphobe now, because that's how being a baddie works around here.

This extremely teenage "if you're not with us you're against us" attitude is made profoundly laughable by the fact that the book actively believes that it's mature. Take this ethical quandary: Niamh is psychic. This means she is completely aware that Jez, the husband of her good friend Elle, is having an affair, and has been for a long time. Elle has absolutely no idea, and Niamh has absolutely no intention of ever telling her, because according to Niamh, she believes she should only use her powers to make the world a better place, and telling Elle about her husband's infidelity would make her unhappy. At one point, Jez and Elle's teenage daughter, Holly, finds out what Niamh knows, and is not satisfied with Niamh's justification, for obvious reasons. And Niamh hits us with the following:

"It's hard sometimes, we put such a high premium on the truth when we're kids. But as you get older you realise you don't wanna hear the truth. The truth, more often than not, is feckin' awful."

Now, I don't believe that books are obligated to teach good moral lessons. Sometimes stories about fucked up people doing fucked up shit are incredibly entertaining. But this whole book is set up as a deeply straightforward good versus evil, right versus wrong narrative, in which Niamh is pretty solidly the voice of correct morals. So her opinion gets presented here as ethically sound, which anyone who has ever been in a functional relationship will tell you is unbelievably fucking stupid. Relationships are built on trust. Jez is untrustworthy. If Jez and Elle want to arrange an open relationship where he gets his sexual needs taken care of elsewhere, that's one thing, but that's not what he's doing: he's betraying his wife's trust, and lying about his needs , desires and actions, which demonstrates that the trust she's placed in him is worthless. What happens down the line one day, if he leaves and she's blindsided? If she cries "I had no idea anything was wrong!" will her friends look her in the eye and confess they knew the whole time? Because it is friends in the plural, I might add: it would be bad enough if it was just Niamh keeping this secret, but the novel doubles down at the end by revealing that Leonie, Elle's other psychic best friend and the novel's other Good Opinions And Morals viewpoint character, has also known the whole time, and is also of the opinion that Elle should not know for her own good, corroborating the novel's stance that Niamh is in the right, when in reality, "who cares if this woman's whole marriage is a sham and her most important relationship is a lie so long as she's deluded herself into happiness" is just the stance of a teenager's first experiments with cynicism.

The whole vibe of the book is deeply immature, and the fact that it believes itself to be mature only heightens the impact of the immaturity. It was a deeply disappointing read, emphasised by it's failure to live up to the incredible potential of it's premise.

[spicybylerpolls]

cafe anon here, coming via willbyershandmoles! i didnt see the negative responses here but looks like my post got deleted?

so just to clear up:

i know not everyone will understand or empathise with what i said, but some responses seem to be that i, at age 20+, had a 'crush' on young teen finn and noah. NOPE, incorrect. I said there was a fleeting moment of confused attraction. that is very much not a crush. this moment of attraction lasted literally as long as what, a few minutes while we discussed the photo? we then moved on with our lives. we enjoyed the show but didnt engage in fandom of any kind, and only years later, when s4 arrived, did i even become interested in the show itself again. in what way is this a crush lmao? my heart didnt skip a beat. i didnt follow finn and noah on instagram. i did nothing. i simply acknowledged something with my friend, and honestly, it says more about the psychology of human attraction that it does about finn or noah themselves. it also says a lot about this kind of internet discussion, and i'm writing this post now but im aware it'll probs fall on deaf ears. ah well.

2. when my friend said they looked 'hot' she meant Hot with a capital H in the context of THESE PHOTOS ONLY. Hot as in 'Hot Girl Summer'. Or the 'Hot Girl aesthetic'. She meant that they looked like the stylists/PR/photographers were trying to make them look Hot. Just like MBB's stylist did for a long time. Our response to that realisation was THEN confusion, as I said, because not only did we not expect these young teens to be posing as such, but we did not expect to find ourselves inexplicably and uncomfortably attracted to these two people because of how they looked in THESE PHOTOS ONLY.

This is not crush behaviour. A crush is not looking at one still image of a person and acknowledging a weird attraction, and anyone that thinks so is revealing either their emotional or actual immaturity.

(i also did not mean that them 'standing there' was sexualisation or adult-coded, as willbyershandmoles pointed out, but rather everything about their stylised expressions, poses, attitude, styling, and the photography itself gave us that INITIAL instinctual impression. and this is proven by the fact that if you look at any other photo shoots of them at this age (or any age tbh) the vibe is not replicable. they look like the same people but different. it was why this shoot was shocking, and perhaps also why noah chose to single it out in his birthday post for finn just last year, despite the fact that it's been literally years and they are now grown up? something about this shoot's vibes was standout.)

thanks to the few who supported my post though - they understood the nuance of being human in a non-judgy way.

of course you dont need to agree with everyone here - that would be absurd - and i dont even care if people are trying to find out who i am and cancel me because the internet doesnt matter that much to me, tbh... but making a nuanced situation black and white is nuts, especially when i described in such detail the psychological depth of that situation. i don't feel ashamed about it, because it was a thought, and out of my control - but it was certainly interesting to reflect on. it happened, and i observed and analysed it. you wont be able to make me feel ashamed about it. i posted it becuase i find it a fascinating phenomenon, and i even thought some people might relate or feel seen. i certainly didnt post it for acceptance or approval.

condolences to any youngsters who were disturbed by it. i hope for your sake you extend better empathy to your own dark thoughts than you did to mine. cheero!

thanks for clarifying your story!

I didn't delete your post? It should be there somewhere. There were a lot of anons rushing to call you a pedo, and they really weren't in good faith. For the most part, they were one-sided attacks without any nuance or empathy, not really adding to the conversation. It's obvious why people are on guard, but we should all be quick to listen and slow to speak instead of rushing to make sweeping allegations.

some were also wondering why I posted your message, saying I shouldn't "give a platform" to "weird anons." But one shouldn't come to the anti-censorship blog and wonder why anti-censorship is being practiced. I think all should be allowed to share their story, no matter how potentially controversial. That doesn't mean endorsement, and it doesn't mean the opposite either. It just means freedom! We should all be able to share things without getting attacked or cancelled. And when we disagree, we should be able to do so civilly. so again, thank you for clarifying things!