#if you're accusing me of posting a bunch of these because they're easy to make

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.6 because somehow I'm the most productive in the middle of the night (the generator)

Tom: Why is there blood everywhere?

Luke: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife. Tom: You stabbed someone?! Luke: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife. AJ: Hey, what are you reading? Sam: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself. AJ: Impressive! I must have it for myself! Tom: So it’s just a Notebook? Sam: It’s just a Notebook. Tom: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? Luke: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Tom: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back. Luke: Why are you telling me this, I don't care. Luke, right after Tom leaves the room: I miss him already. Luke: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead! Luke: You don't think I can fight because of my height! Sam: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Tom can fight in that dress either. Tom: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride. Tom: Why are you late? Sam: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness. Tom: Overslept? Sam: Overslept. Tom: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! AJ: It's kind of complicated, but Sam and Luke- Tom: Got it. Forget I asked. Sam: Luke is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life! Tom: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE!

AJ: What's the signal when something goes wrong? Sam: We yell, "oh shit." Tom: ...That'll work. Luke: I bet you can’t make a sentence without the letter "A"! Tom: You thought you just did something there, didn’t you? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon. AJ: Fuck you. Sam: I’m totally useless. Tom: You’re not totally useless. Tom: You can be used as a bad example. AJ: When do you usually go to sleep? Luke: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods. Tom: Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Luke: No… not really. Tom: Are you going to do something about it? Luke: Hm… nah. Tom: Luke learned how to fold origami penguins from Sam the other day. I told him, "I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here." And the next day he put them in the fridge. Sam: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth. Sam, barging in: Syphilis! AJ: Sam: AJ: Pardon? Luke, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day? Tom: ... Tom: What’s in the box? Luke: What woul- Tom: Luke, what’s in the box? Luke: I think you know. Sam: Today at 7 am, Tom poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Luke: I watched Tom brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. AJ: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

[anameistoohard]

Oh boy, lets open that can of worms

There's a LOT of discourse with endo vs anti-endo stuff (endogenic system=plural system not formed by trauma if you don't know 🙂). Like, death threats coming from both sides kinda thing. We try to stay out of it. But it's easy to accidentally stumble into it if you're not familiar with some of the nuance. So we want to share some observations as like, a crash course. (And apparently we had a lot to say lol.)

This post isn't really to debate how plurality forms. Just to give some context as to why so much hate is flying between these two groups.

Basically, you have 2 extremes. (And everyone in between obviously)

On one side you have people making up extra rules on top of the diagnostic criteria to exclude and gatekeep anyone who doesn't meet "their level" of disordered. (I've literally heard people say "you can't be a system, you're not as traumatized as me"). A lot of accusations of faking come from this bunch. Too much internal communication? Faker. Too many non-human alters? Faker. Too many or not enough alters? Faker. You can't win with them even if you have a diagnosis.

We've noticed a lot of parallels between this group and transmeds. You need to have x level of dysphoria to ride this ride. You can't be trans if you don't want xyz treatment. You need to reach my arbitrary bar of "trans enough". Enbys and everyone else are fakers. That kind of bs.

But on this side you also have a lot of people who just want to be taken seriously. They want to be validated by their diagnosis and feel hurt when people say or do things that they think will compromise that validity. They, at least initially, come from a place of sincerity not malice. But they fall into the trap of trying to be "one of the good ones".

On the other extreme you have the wild west. Things people treat as fact aren't codified with the same scrutiny as the DSM-5 or ICD-11. This breeds its own confusion and misinformation. We've seen people conflate plurality with things like maladaptive day dreaming, lucid dreaming, adhd, and (applying it to other people with ferocity to the point of harassment) metaphors of all things.

They have a spaghetti at the wall approach that reminds me of a less extreme MOGII (an attempt to define just about every possible form of gender and sexuality). It's a messy patchwork of ideas. We've seen 8 different labels that all mean the same thing and are being used by exactly no one. Redundancy and hyperspcificity, that's the name of the game. But frankly we like this if for no other reason than we want to see what sticks, what becomes mainstream.

We've seen people from this group attack people as badly as the anti-endo group. Openly mocking people for having trauma or saying vile shit like "traumagenics kys". They feel threatened by the exclusionary nature of diagnoses. But instead of taking their frustration out on the systems of power they take them out on normal people. After all if you're diagnosed, you "represent the system"... I guess. Equally bull shit.

But this is also where the edge cases go, the exclusions, those that don't fit into a neat little box. The DSM excludes people whose plurality is accepted as part of their culture or religion. These people don't suddenly stop being systems just because they're accepted, but they're distinctly not disordered. They don't meet the clinical definition of DID or OSDD. Same goes for someone whose symptoms are mild enough to not cause "clinically significant distress". You also have people who don't want to be pathologized or have been failed by the medical system.

So lastly, a warning: When dealing with plural stuff, it's very easy to go stumbling into a mine field.

Tldr: I would always rather land on the side of letting too many people in than exclude people who needed the support. However, no matter your in-group, some people take things too far. Like, ffs don't attack people. 

-Taylor & Mark

[37womenwieldingknives]

It's obvious to anyone that there's been a pretty huge shift in how we all treat each other over the last few years, characterised by a greater sort of detachedness and subsequent shaming of any amount of earnest expression of positive emotions and femininity. People are scared about being cringe (god forbid), everything is delivered with a layer of irony or intellectualism, and you absolutely have to appear unmoved at all costs unless you can do it in a masculine sort of way that's acceptable e.g. being angry at the 'woke left' or maybe declaring your love for your country or your wife and two children. At it's worst, there's even this encouragement to be outright mean, especially to easy targets.

And I get it, despite my criticisms there's a lot that I admire and find useful from the likes of Nietzsche and the Stoics. We're all trying to make our lives a little bit more bearable and reclaim some power. We're all sick. We're all depressed. We're all scared. But when it's taken too far it's a reactionary and cowardly approach, and it's obvious that it's been taken too far.

I'm not saying we go back to the other extreme either. I don't want a bunch of people who show insincere kindness for the sake of protecting feelings or walking on eggshells to avoid crossing countless boundaries, routines of niceties that only create impersonal relationships and barriers between people that don't allow us to relax around each other. We need to give primacy to freedom over wrapping each other up in cotton wool. There's also only so much cringe I can tolerate too before it becomes annoying. There's only so many convoluted conversations I can take where people are trying to say things in precisely the correct way rather than being relaxed and natural. Or being serious all the time and no room for making light of things. These people on this side of the extreme are also often too critical of some of the typically masculine qualities that I admire, like physical bravery and appropriate toughness and aggression, and they lean into a trend of collective and individual victimhood and feeling sorry for ourselves. All of this also tends to lead towards rigid moralists and a prevelance of rabid cancelling, public accusations and hounding, and constant policing, while achieving next to nothing other than alienating people from our movements, crippling them with self-consciousness, and making them feel like they're fucked up. I'm critical of claims like 'working class people don't do x, y, z' but it does seem that this kind of behaviour typically comes from the bourgeois 'left' and mostly alienates working class people.

Because of this, I found myself siding with those that I began criticising at the start of this post. I'm also guilty of this detached way of living that I'm now critical of. But these professional moralists and self-proclaimed emotional intelligentsia are no longer the prevailing issue of today, we've already moved back into the other direction. These things are like a pendulum where public behaviour swings back and forth over years and I get caught up in it too. I fully expect the pendulum to start swinging back the other way now and I'm honestly relieved. If you're like me and find some positives in being a bit detached, I can't urge you enough to allow a little bit of cringe back in your life. If you're too detached or paranoid about being cringe then you can really miss out on important, cherished moments of deep intimacy and joy of life. I love chess so I'm always thinking about this interview of chess grandmaster Vasyl Ivanchuk after one of his games in Gibraltar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUgvAoTzWBA. Look at his excitement as he describes the game, not giving a fuck if he should be playing it cool. It's refreshing and honestly wonderful.

Also one last thing, I don't think it's a coincidence that this social trend has happened at the same time as things have gotten particularly worse for trans people, migrants, women and left wing people. When I say that people are being outright mean to easy targets, I'm talking imparticular about the rising animosity and degradation towards these groups of people where it has become somewhat acceptable to put them down. Yes, we don't need an omnipresent moralism or sickly-sweet insincerity, but the solution is not this detachment or callousness; it's solidarity, it's doing our best to live outside of capitalism as much as we can, and it's trying to break up the monopoly on power that the state and capital currently has.

[vintage-bentley]

Fandom TERFing out is going to be a key part of overcoming this ideology. I'm always on the lookout for TERF fic writers! Who is this based GOmens fic writer and how can we support her? Even if she hasn't peaked all the way yet, I hope she knows there are people in the fandom who support her. I hope she can stand strong against the shaming.

If you're reading this somehow, peaking GOmens fic writer, I hope you know the people abusing you are socially maladjusted freaks and not worth getting upset over. The fad is dying and they're lashing out because they're scared. Fuck 'em.

I think the main thing that will peak people is seeing how easy it is to be accused of being a “terf” and then harassed for it. Like with myself…all it took was me agreeing with an essay about gay erasure in the good omens fandom, and suddenly I was being called a terf. And I was shocked by how just believing that homosexuality is real and worth telling stories about was enough to brand me as Evil. That led me to questioning more about gender ideology and eventually realising it was all a bunch of homophobic and misogynistic nonsense.

Though I want to make it clear that the writer in question (Moonyinpisces) isn’t terfing out. It looks like some private messages in a discord were leaked, and the writer’s biggest crime is being “acephobic” and basically being in what looks like a moderately mean clique. They were basically just making fun of popular headcanons, which is honestly just normal fandom friend group activity.

I don’t want people going to this writer and being all “ahhh gender critical sister you’re one of us!” Because that’s overwhelming and unnecessary right now. And also inaccurate because again, this isn’t a case of a woman sharing a gender critical viewpoint and being harassed for being a “terf”.

In my opinion, this is a case of the fandom once again showing an insane amount of hypocrisy by collectively agreeing to separate the art from the artist in the case of a serial rapist…but then throwing that out the window when a random fandom writer is a little bit mean in a private group chat.

And also hypocrisy over what headcanons are okay to make fun of. For years the fandom has been laughing at the idea of A/C being gay because “that’s a human label and they’re not human!”. But then if you make fun of the idea of them having human labels like being on the “ace-spectrum”, you’re a terrible person invalidating a totally real identity that isn’t just a desperate attempt at gaining Quirky Cool Kid Points.

In short, the reason I posted about this was because I was shocked by the hypocrisy of the fandom as a whole. Not because I’m trying to defend a fellow “terf” or something. I only make this clear because I don’t know this writer’s personal beliefs, and I don’t want to act like I do. Especially when claiming somebody holds certain beliefs could result in them being harassed and threatened.

If you want, just go read some of the writer’s fics and leave a nice comment related to the fic, not to the drama. I imagine that would be appreciated by anybody, drama or not!

[scuttling-claws]

question 6

hiding under a read more bc this is a hate post LOL

literally, hitchannie shippers ruined the whole thing for me. a bunch of them spent literal MONTHS harassing me for preferring a different hitch ship and honestly, i just have a whole host of issues with them :/ i feel like for the most part they're annie fans who don't care about hitch, and only ship it because they think hitch is hot...i've seen literal HA mains not be able to come up with a single reason annie would like hitch besides her being hot. the few fics i've read always center around sex and give hitch 0 personality beyond being hot & loving annie. and honestly i feel like the subfandom is MAD ungrateful :/ they fight with people who don't have the same hcs (for example i got shit on bc i hc hitch as bi and they were mad and accused me of being a lesbophobe for that lol) and just...never seem grateful for what creators put out. like, when the episode when annie got out of the crystal first aired, there was a HUGE art boom and instead of being excited most HAs were crying about how it was gonna end and they wouldn't get content again soon. i'm talkin 5 minutes after the ep aired they were already hand-wringing. also they're more interested in putting them in boxes they don't fit in rather than talking about what actually makes them an interesting & good ship. like the grumpy x sunshine thing....anyone who genuinely believes hitch is a sunshine girlie is illiterate lmfao and everyone who ships HA for that reason actually ships minannie. i find them mad hypocritical, too. constantly shitting on aruani and calling armin a pedophile for being interested in annie since she was in the crystal and didn't age but turn around and ship her with hitch. nobody has to like a ship obvi but making up moral reasons to oppose it when the ship you DO like has the same pitfall is stupid. and honestly i feel like they're so OBSESSED with shitting on marlowe and mischaracterizing him? like in what world would the guy who's interested in justice & equality be a homophobic right winger...like if you're not interesting enough to come up with a compelling conflict homophobia & making him some creep who can't take no for an answer is easy i guess lol. and there's this obsession with proving that hitch hated him which is insane?? you don't have to ship them or anything i really & truly do not care but the way people are fucking illiterate and say with their whole stupid chests that she hates marlowe or doesn't care about him is nuts.

honestly, i still do like HA and sometimes write for them, but i only enjoy them in the privacy of my home. i will literally NEVER post more HA bc i don't want to feed that shit community any more than i already have

[buhloodweeeave]

Almost Everyone Sucks Here, But Mostly Me (Or, Accountability for Dummies Who Are Unreliable Narrators and Also Mentally Ill and Autistic and Chronically Online Using Lessons from Baldur's Gate 3)

!!!Important!!! Before you interact with this or read it all, pause. Right now, pause. Ask yourself this question: Do I really want to know? Okay? Okay. Good.

The reason for this is not to start any new fights. This is to put everything to rest. It's a deep, shuddering breath, lying flowers at a fresh grave as a part of a natural grieving process. Everyone's gonna have their own. This is mine, and nobody can take my own grieving process away from me.

I'm also pinning this to my blog and it's gonna stay there. People deserve to know who they're interacting with because I'm going to choose to continue to create and my pen name is going to continue to be around. My reputation is what it is. Always has been. Always will be.

Big request: Do not send this post to other people, ESPECIALLY NOT ANY OF THOSE INVOLVED, THEY HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF ME FOR A LIFETIME, THANKS. It's over. Leave each and every single one of them alone. If you see it, you see it. I'm not tagging it in the subfandom's shipping tag. This is here for people to go looking for it. Let people think what they're going to think of me. NO MORE WITCH HUNTING OR CALLOUTS - ME, OR ANYONE ELSE. NO MORE THREATENING SHIT. NO MORE IDENTITY-BASED TARGETED LANGUAGE. NO MORE OSTRACIZATION.

This is the reflection I am able to do with the knowledge I have of the things that I have said, and that is all that I am able to do. If there is anything untrue within, it is because I do not have the information contrary. There's a good chance I've probably forgotten some stuff, that if it's not mentioned that I've been asked not to address it due to how personal it is, or that it would just be incredibly tasteless to divulge or broadcast something like, for example, the intimate details of someone's disability or mental illness, to a bunch of people who might have no idea what this is even about.

I am also only able to speak for myself - what everyone should be doing in this case - and not projecting intent on other people, which is something I've tried my hardest to do without proof over the past year. I’m not here to accuse others but to explain myself.

Tone setting: I am smiling, but morose and introspective. I am regretful, but hopeful. And very genuine.

Q: What do you do when you truly believe that what you are saying is the truth but it is not?

A: Steamroll about 5 dozen friendships and relationships because you're an idiot who doesn't listen to/hear people warning you not to run into the fray.

So back last year I started interacting with people again after a very intense 3 year self-imposed isolation and man, I thought I was fine. I thought I was doing awesome. I thought I had my autism and mental illness under control, I thought I had my social cues and understandings on lockdown, and in all of that, I was making a lot of friends in the midst of something... very hard.

I love intensely.

It’s who I am! My heart is always wide open. The only hatred I carry is for myself, the kind of self-loathing that comes from a deep, internal place, built by hands that have known me longer than any of you. It wasn't even really put there by me. But here's the thing: having friends, real connections, it made it easier to take that blade away from my throat.

It wasn’t always easy. In fact, it was uncomfortable for some people, I think.

It made it possible for things to go straight for the jugular - especially when rumors started to circle back to me.

A couple months into the creation of the Bloodweave sub-fandom, something happened. Socially, I became... lost. I tried to figure out what was going on, but the more I tried, the more confused I became. The more I hurt myself in that confusion. Anxiety crept in. I asked for clarification but got no answers, just vague rejections and the feeling that I didn’t belong. Shit was awkward and uncomfortable. I talked about it too often with too much uncertainty, and tried not to get people involved who weren't actively asking about it or who weren't a part of the initial Happening.

The situation left me in a strange place. I was trying to process it in a limited scope, but people could see something was off. And they started coming to me, wanting to know what was going on. That added SO much pressure (in addition to starting to become Recognized as a writer which is its own story honestly), and I tried to talk about it, tried to find a solution. But, once again, I was met with silence. No real explanation. Just an expectation to move on without ever understanding why it happened or what went wrong.

I’ve reflected on it all. I’ve asked why it happened. I’ve shared my feelings about how it made me feel - lost, hurt, rejected, and again, really, really confused. But those are just feelings. And I realize now, sometimes, feelings alone aren’t enough to make sense of it all.

Eventually, after a series of similar incidents, I chose to move on. Tried to. The creation of the private friend server I owned was unintentional. It was just supposed to be to hold some emotes. And then people started talking in it. And then I kind of fell into a moderation role because I was the server owner. I said to myself, "I'm not going to be a ruler here, I don't want this kind of control."

The community got bigger. And as it grew, so did the weight of the responsibilities I hadn’t expected.

What is it about power, do you think, that is so enticing? I mean, it's like the central theme of Baldur's Gate.

Each day I was silently grappling with the worry that I wasn't being a good person when it came to the decisions I'd been making, and honestly every time I brought it up I was met with resounding reassurance. From everyone around's perspectives, including mine, I was making pretty good progress. But the truth is, I wasn’t questioning myself enough. I wasn’t listening closely enough but fuck was I trying, man oh man was I trying like crazy. I was being reassured to the point of enabling myself to continue down this path, despite knowing deep down that something felt off. I lived and existed in spite of those who disliked me for a couple months, which is an AWFUL way to live, but I was listening to some fucking shitty ass advice. Some people even encouraged me to be worse. But, in the end, I never took that advice. I didn’t want to become someone I’d hate.

But as far as I was concerned people were just moving around doing their own things, having lives outside of me. The past year I've had a bunch of free time due to being chronically underemployed (yippee for work picking up the past couple months!!!) and dealing with a bunch of other personal stuff that not everyone knows about because I'm not obligated to tell everyone everything all the time, so I've definitely been Around a lot, but nobody's ever been obligated to interact with me. And I've made new friends even recently!

I don't like the idea of being insular or that my presence is exclusive to one space, but I think it got to that point just a little bit so I've been branching out, meeting friends of friends, doing little gay boygirl stuff.

Then, every once in a while, I’d get these little bumps in messages, things like, “Hey, this person’s saying some gnarly stuff about you.” And every time, it would trigger my anxiety again. I couldn't get a clear answer about what exactly they were saying with my name directly attached to it. There were a couple screenshots of something said that I was sent early on that I'm going to mention a bit later but they didn't directly mention me by name, though it was like a, "yeah, they're talking about me pretty obviously" kind of moment.

But I tried talking to people about it - former friends - because like, what the hell. Not a great idea. I was told to just ignore it. And for the most part, I did.

Q: Why are you not showing screenshots?

A: I’ve been asked not to, for one. I also don’t have many of the screenshots I used to have, and I no longer have access to the conversations where I could provide clear evidence of what I was being told outright. A lot of stuff happened in voice chats, and I actively misunderstood what was happening in several conversation - things I couldn’t have known back then, but I see clearly now. And to be honest, I don’t fully understand the motivations of the strangers and acquaintances who were relaying this drama to me.

To be clear though, none of those folks are the current moderators of Inn. The folks messaging me were bystanders. Looking back, I’m left wondering why they even bothered telling me without any details. I really thought they were trying to be helpful, trying to be nice. “Please assume the best intentions” is something I was told. But now, I’m not so sure. Were they just stoking a fire against someone they didn’t like by using me as a tool? Were they just as scared and confused as I was? I honestly don’t know.

I feel incredibly lucky that I never made any rash decisions in this situation. What I did do: I talked to a couple of those people and explained my perspective. What I didn’t do: name any of those people to others I knew. So, if you’re wondering whether I’m about to drag you into this because we talked sometime between May and August - nope. Honestly, I don’t even remember who you are, and I no longer have access to our DMs.

Eventually, I received concrete evidence of exactly what this person was saying about me, and it was deeply damaging. Among the worst of it was the fact that the contents of my private tickets from Bloodweave Brainrot had been shared with them. They used that information to make judgments about me, accusing me of being manipulative and a bully as an administrator of their own public Discord server, which they openly advertised on social media to strangers - people they didn’t even know.

Let me be very clear here: I never called this person names as harsh as the ones they were using behind the scenes. Yes, I called them an asshole and a jerk, and yes, I expressed that their behavior worried me. I shared my perspective of their involvement in something that I now know to be untrue, because I was trying - however imperfectly - to move on.

And yes, I cried. Because, for reasons I could not understand at the time, they chose to level incredibly serious accusations at me in front of hundreds of random strangers, without any proof, in a space I hadn’t even been a part of for months and had no access to.

Lately, the fact that I’ve chosen to feel deeply has been weaponized against me. I cry. I’m allowed to cry. I’m allowed to have my feelings in front of other people. I'm JUST now getting to the point where I'm able to accept this, because people - the same who are now saying that it was a part of something malicious - were telling me that it was okay to have feelings. I do always try to make sure I'm fully waiting for everyone around me to consent to hold me in that space while I sort something out, though I think maybe a couple times I just full lost it, like it just sometimes happens. Being emotive is not manipulative. Plain and simple. As has been told to me so many times before of other people, as is true now.

Now, I know that even though we're very different people when it comes to our sense of justice and action, we're very much the same in the way we act. That's comforting to me, actually. I wish we could have made that connection and potentially learned to heal from what we'd said about each other. We didn't do that, and it's probably too late.

While all this was happening, I was working off of screenshots from someone I didn’t fully trust. Now I’m almost certain those screenshots were faked. There were blurry timestamps, something just felt… off. One day, when I voiced my concern, someone actually showed me how easy it was to fake Discord messages, demonstrating it in the app itself. I went pale. Why would they do that? I don’t know. Honestly, I didn’t want to drag them into this any more than I already had. Those screenshots are gone now, anyway. My SSD fried a while ago, and I lost so much information. There are people who can confirm that, because they were there when it happened.

Those screenshots were of someone saying bigoted things about the original situation that spurred into all of this, which, in hindsight, I now know was a misunderstanding - and implicating people in bigotry. I still haven’t been able to apologize to those people, and I don’t know if I ever will. But who knows.

I took a lot of actions, made a lot of personal connections, because of that.

I’m not trying to deflect fault. I’m owning it. Faulty thinking, faulty actions. I’m reflecting to understand how to avoid repeating this, how to do better.

I can completely understand how my friends felt like pawns in a game that I was not playing. There is no chessboard, no pieces, just a bunch of folks moving from room to room, home to home, speaking, laughing, loving, hating, existing. The only game I’ve ever really played in all of this, the only one I ever truly engaged with, is the one that inspired this fandom in the first place: Baldur's Gate 3.

So, on a separate note, at the same time of all of this, I was falling in love. With several people, actually, because I'm polyam. And I Fucked Up.

I hurt one of those folks really bad. We had different ideas of what was going on - boats passing on the sea, never quite aligned by the hull. I've been looking back at the screenshots and I now am able to remember fully what I was thinking, but I'm not going to share that because what I've said is what I've said, and what I said was untrue because my perspective was skewed and also my memory is faulty.

I honed in on something - several things - that scared me about this person in the larger scope of what they'd said to me over the course of several months and several hundred hours in voice chats.

Simply put, though, I connected dots in my mind that weren't there for the specific action I took that hurt them. And I told people what I thought was going on. Like, it was really fucking serious what I was saying, but because I'm just so desensitized to this kind of thing happening to me I didn't see how terrified other people were or that other people were treating it as really serious. Really the only mindset that this came from at all was "it's me, so it doesn't matter (because I don't matter/I can take it/I'm expected to take it/I should just take it), but if it were someone else, it would matter."

This is the most I can tell you about how this went down. I no longer have access to the text conversations had around this topic, and the last thing I'm going to do now is say something untrue.

I initially made an apology in a shitty, horrid haze of dissociation, and it was a BUNK, SHITTY APOLOGY that really did just seem like I was excusing my own actions.

I can't undo that, and it still bothers me. Even though I’ve had time to think things through with a clearer head, and can now share my true perspective, I know that because I’ve been labeled a liar, you’ll only be able to take this at face value.

Why did I say what I did initially in that apology, then?

One of the reasons that I initially started feeling the way I was about what was being said between us was because I've been working on myself, specifically in the department of exposing myself directly to pain because I think I deserve pain and suffering. Unfortunately, that desire to hurt myself by others' hands won out in that moment.

If someone calls me a bad person or says I did something wrong the first thing I'm gonna do is just accept it 100% and not interrogate it.

An additional factor that I cannot talk about anymore but it's a life circumstance.

All three of these things tying into each other was the perfect storm. I laid down and took it.

Now is the time that I need to go back and revise what I said because my 100% real honest full truth is that I did not do this on purpose. I spoke really carelessly in the aftermath and caved to people saying that I was lying when I could have stood up for myself and given a full explanation.

After talking to my psychiatrist and therapist, and I've come to the conclusion that no, I did not lie. This is an mixture of major, MAJOR misunderstanding on my part (me, mine, I did that, I'm pointing at myself), confabulation - memory error, as well as an additional symptom that I'm not gonna list here because it'll be intensely scrutinized due to stigma and I can't talk about why that symptom started occurring because it's a part of that additional life circumstantial factor.

I really thought what I thought was going on was going on - but it wasn't - and I had input from others that it was, regardless of how I presented it. Like fully when I took this action originally I was talking to people about it to make sure that I wasn't misconstruing something, but I was.

So, when you do something without intending to be malicious, or you do something or say something without intending to be manipulative, does that make you that thing anyways if it has a negative affect on others around you? That's a philosophical question, but I can tell you very easily that I had no idea that my brain was trying to protect me in the way that it was and that I was interpreting things as seriously incorrectly as I was until confronted with what I felt I couldn't look at because I was still processing it amongst everything else happening in my life - which, really, to the person who did that, thank you, I really needed it, that was good of you to do.

The biggest learning moment I have in this is clear to me. Seeing patterns in something doesn't mean it's actually happening (a symptom of my bipolar and PTSD that I thought I had under lockdown and told people I did that was also bolstered by those screenshots). And I think this is something everyone involved can take away from this.

There's proof of what's been going on for everyone, but as far as I see it, everyone's proof is flawed too because nobody has the full story. When it comes to the interpretation of someone's words, it's subjective. It's been a series of misunderstanding and memory issues from all parties (will not reveal specifics of others' issues but this shouldn't be surprising to anyone, we're all fuckin struggling, look at what society is right now) - probably some active lying, but honestly, I can't be sure at this point.

Some things I know are being said about me that I can clear up because they’re clear as day through the fog. These are the things I’m 100% certain about. What I’ve said that’s untrue is being pointed out, but the same uncertain statements and accusations from others haven’t been addressed. They’ll likely be brushed off. It’s like, “Oh, well, they thought that.” Yeah, dude, I thought something too.

I did not create the Sanctuary blog. In September, someone approached me to clarify the situation surrounding the announcement made to hundreds of people. This conversation personally provided me with closure, but somehow, it was misconstrued as me planning the blog with that person. In the initial accusation, I was accused of creating the blog. However, this was quickly debunked when the actual creator of the blog, a separate individual, came forward to clarify the truth. I am personally not privy to any conversation that happened between the person who spoke to me and the creator of the blog, nor am I certain why I would be.

Some individuals associated with the person who made the announcement seem to have interpreted me reading their fic as proof of something problematic. To clarify: I read Bloodweave fic, and in this case, I interacted with one specific person’s work. I’m genuinely sorry if that caused any discomfort, but to be clear, I don’t know you personally. I only recognize your Ao3 handle, which I came across here while dealing with the fallout of the public fallout and thought, “Who is this?” I’ve never interacted with you directly, never spoken to you, and I’m not in any Discord server with you (unless it’s a large one for emotes or something). I don’t know what you look like or what your voice sounds like. If anyone has told you that I have an issue with you, or if you’ve interpreted me reading your fic as an act of aggression, I really don’t know how to explain that – it just wasn’t my intention at all. Again, I like your writing.

I did not intentionally seek out someone's address, nor am I a stalker. A very close friend of mine who has visited my home shared a significant amount of identifying information about their exact location in a particular large city. They also mentioned certain apartment complexes that were similar to the one they lived in and actively encouraged me to look into their government housing's program. While I was casually searching for jobs by browsing through Google Street View to find company websites (a method I recommend over the endless AI slop LinkedIn listings), I inadvertently figured out where they lived due to how specific they had been. I told them about it because I felt it was better to be upfront and not keep it a secret – in my opinion, keeping that kind of knowledge hidden would have been waaay stranger. I didn’t retain that information in my mind, and I certainly never shared it with anyone else.

I did not use Venmo, PayPal, or any other paid service to obtain anyone’s phone number. However, I did actively search for it on Google. At the time, I was concerned about a friend's well-being due to a medical situation, especially given past conversations where they had expressed an aversion to seeking medical care even in serious circumstances that could lead to death. I was able to find their number because I knew their full name, something I had learned in part because it's a very unique last name that they were proud of and spoke about a decent amount in various convesations. I knew their location because they had personally encouraged me to apply for jobs at their company in their state. After finding their number, I called them and left a voicemail asking them to call me or contact me, hoping that if they didn't, their partner would. About a day later they called me back and left a voicemail letting me know they were okay and what had happened. In hindsight, this was not a good idea regardless of context. The next time it came up, I informed them about where I had found it so they could take steps to remove their information from public databases. When they expressed discomfort, I interpreted it as distress over the fact that someone from their past with extremely bad intentions could potentially find it just as easily. In an effort to reassure them, I walked them through the steps of getting their information taken down. I did not share this information with anyone else, nor did I retain it. If I had distributed it, that would have constituted doxxing, which I did not engage in. (As a general reminder, personal information is often publicly available online. It’s always a good idea to search for your own name and address and file takedown requests.)

I have never coordinated or participated in an organized act of aggression against anyone. If this claim has been made about me, it is simply untrue. Any actions taken by others were made independently, without my involvement or direction. To my knowledge, I have never witnessed anyone say anything truly harmful or dehumanizing on my behalf. The one time someone did step in to defend me regarding my identity, I explicitly asked them to remain calm and respectful.

I have asked friends for financial help over the past year. I acknowledge that I have personal challenges related to transactional thinking, influenced by both my past experiences with sex work and childhood trauma. At one point, people who are no longer in my life encouraged me to take advantage of those who offered financial support. I recognize that outside perspectives on private financial matters may have led to certain assumptions. In most cases, these matters are private. In some cases, they are simply transactional. Over the past year, I have actively worked on navigating my anxieties around receiving gifts and asking for assistance. I’ve finally embraced emotionally that if someone later claims that a gift wasn’t actually a gift and that they expected something in return, that is not my fault, that’s on them. This is something I wouldn’t have been comfortable saying a year ago and the process has also helped me set boundaries, including learning when to decline financial offers, which I have done multiple times. Additionally, I believe in the value of mutual aid.

Shit that I am outright at fault for and that I am horribly sorry for:

Separate from everything else, I WAS OUTRIGHT MEAN TO SOMEONE LIKE RECENTLY. OUTRIGHT. I was NOT NICE to someone, and that person was a dear friend who I loved and chose to treat like that because I was pissed off. That was a choice. They deserved better than for me to have treated them like that especially when they were actively going through something. They know I'm legitimately sorry and I really hope one day we get to sit down so they can share with me their grievances and tell me in depth how it affected them. I know for a fact that our community has pulled around them to support them, and they deserve that.

I told people shit that they actively acted on when it wasn't true, and this betrayed the trust they had in me to tell them the truth and nothing but the truth. No matter if it was intentional or not, it was still Bad for me to have told people. I did this because I was concerned for their safety based on my perception of my safety (due to current life circumstance and an interpretation of intentions that I was just straight up incorrect about [or at least I'm pretty sure I'm incorrect about]), and I was worried it would get taken out on them. Fear does that, I think.

I told someone (multiple people? I don't remember which is Bad) something that a friend trusted me not to tell anyone for no reason at all. What a dick move. There was no reason for me to have done that. Literally none. And I didn't do it for any reason, I literally just thought "this is probably fine to tell other people who I also trust," NO, MJ? I'm not trying to downplay the hurt, more emphasize that thoughtlessness and simplistic reasoning can be just as hurtful (again, I can only explain that it is my current life circumstance that had my state of mind was the way it was)

I've talked shit with people about others, and I often change my mind about those folks over time or even immediately. It's sort of akin to "eugh what is this person's problem" and then "never mind they're actually alright" or "oh they've grown as a person since then" but I don't always verbalize the second part so people think I have something against someone when I just don't anymore. The past I think, 4ish months, I've been very intentionally working on my methods of how I process what other people do, and they're not perfect, but they're definitely evolving into healthier habits.

Final timeline (about over the course of a year):

major misunderstanding + miscommunication in Brainrot

major misunderstanding + miscommunication in Haven/Inn

stressors both internal and external online and offline from all parties

just, generally, gossip happening

callout of me to several hundred people in a Discord server

continued existence and hearing vagueries through the grapevine that I spoke about with friends

closure on just exactly what was being said about me all this time and it was over

more separate intrapersonal issues where I was outright in the wrong

creation of the Sanctuary blog

me speaking up on that blog and saying very calmly "yes this happened, I'm focusing on my work please don't talk to me about this anymore" because I wanted people to leave me alone about it

getting some additional closure with someone who was very kind to me, explaining my POV (which I think I did shittily idk)

disengaging and going through my own shit (see below + life circumstance factor that I can't talk about)

more separate intrapersonal issues where I was outright in the wrong

somehow these things coming together I still don't know how or why really aside from we had mutual people in common including some folks I outright wronged

explosion, insults, demonization, ostracization

I don't know how to say this without it being plain: I'm stupid, autistic, and mentally ill. I'm a person who makes mistakes, and sometimes, I'm a jerk. Sometimes, I make poor judgments. Sometimes, I'm a bit self-absorbed. Often, I'm scared.

Sound familiar?

Maybe a bit like you?

Maybe a bit like the folks on the other side of this all?

Things I can tell you 100% certainly: I'm not a narcissist or psychopath or sociopath (diagnostic terms that are not for people to use when they don't know me as a person). I've actually got really really really bad self-esteem issues and I've only just started to build one up - but I think what's started to blossom might be here to stay, regardless of the fact that those who helped water it into a bloom are now demonizing its existence. I'm also incredibly hyper-empathetic (not a good or bad thing just an intrinsic part of myself), and I don't get people, as much as I love us. Communication is fucking Hard even for me who has a bunch of active SJ-based training in it. I don't want to think about where I'd be if I didn't have that training.

I'm not a monster. I'm not a tumor. I'm not some evil thing. I'm not a blight. I'm not a curse. I'm not insidious. I'm not trash to be taken out. I'm not someone to be dehumanized for the sake of humanizing someone else or a group of people.

I'm a person.

So are you! And them!

Look at us go. As far as I've been aware, for the past year, we've all just been trying really fucking hard not to affect each other negatively (for the most part) and standing up for and protecting ourselves when we felt the need to do so.

Almost every single person involved here is marginalized in some way, shape, or form, and the real world is very scary. That pressure is no small thing, and I know at the very least I've been cracking under it. I suspect everyone else is, too.

I'm also going through something else that I can't talk about right now, but noted above are few instances where I've said that there's another factor to why I've been the way I am. It's the hardest part of all of this, because it's the part that has nothing to do with any of you or any of this, but has been influencing my life the entire time I've been sex_and_cum. I don't know if I'll ever be able to talk about it publicly, given what's happening in the world. Just... the way it is, I guess.

The folks who are saying these things about me are hurt and acting out in the same way I have in the past. To have compassion for them at this time is to have compassion for myself in the past so that I can actually understand where I was coming from. If I weren't, I would just be participating in perpetuating that cycle, which I was complicit in before all of this. Just quietly, not as public as other folks have made it. I think that made me seem like I was intending to do harm when I'm just too careful at times and then not careful enough at others at EXACTLY the wrong times for it. Also, like, most of us are autistic and trying our hardest to communicate.

There are people who were not a part of any of this who have stepped to the plate to hold me accountable for my actions and continue to be here for me while I work through my issues, giving me the chance to continue my growth. Do not judge those people for doing that. That's a GOOD thing.

I don't hate anyone. I wish them all well with love, and I hope we can all work on the anger we all fostered and let fester throughout the past year whether that's together or apart.

I'm going to keep writing, now. With new friends. Creating anew. Being something different.

That's exciting, actually. It feels good.

I refuse to be worse.

A few last requests:

Please don't do this to anyone else. Nobody deserves the ostracization that has occurred on any party here, including those who've been navigating something self-imposed either because of my actions or what you thought I was doing, or because of things they felt they had to do to protect themselves. Isolation is not a cure for an unhealthy community, imposed by others or the self.

Call them in, show them what they've missed, explain other perspectives. And I will be doing the same. Be good to each other, please.

And! Don't put people on pedestals. Not your favorite creators, not your favorite fans, not your partners, not your friends.

We'll all be happy again. It might take time, but we'll be happy.

[cherimoyatea]

Hello! I'm writing you anonymously out of embarrassment because the subject is quite sensitive for me. You don't need to reply, I just want to share with you the comfort that your words answering a post accusing people who receive a high % of AI content in the quillbot detector gave me (note that I say people who receive a high %, not people who actually use AI…).

I'll tell you my case. I'm a person who has always liked English a lot, but I'm not a native. I'm not a native by a long shot. I've recently found myself in a very stressful period of my life and I've found a lot of comfort writing fanfiction and sharing it in this community. I don't publish in my original language because it would mean reaching a very small community, and it's a real challenge for me to do it in English and that way I learn a lot.

The thing is that I write in the following way: I write ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING in my language. Then I translate with google translator (pretty dull), and I use chatgpt to look up single words. Yes. I search in chatgpt. Because for me, it's not so clear if scowl is more aggressive than frown, and I need that help. But the help I ask for is that, some vocabulary. I have never, ever asked for help to create the story itself. In fact, each fic takes me a lot of time and work. I've spent up to a month editing some because I'm a perfectionist.

When I saw the post yesterday criticizing ai, I launched the bot out of curiosity… and when I received percentages of between 25-50% on some fics, I started to cry. How was it possible that after all the work behind it, that tool makes me feel like a fraud? I thought about deleting everything. I was ashamed and thought about deleting my tumblr account… and then, I saw your post. And I understood many things.

So, THANK YOU.

PS: I'm using Google Translate right now :P

Hello Annonie!

First of all, thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your feelings with me. I'm so sorry to hear that you cried and even thought about deleting your blog. There is nothing wrong with using tools to improve your English or to check your grammar and sentence structure.

You did nothing wrong 🫂

People need to understand that these AI detectors, including Quillbot, are easy to manipulate and can be easily confused by a combination of factors, such as typos, commas, non-native writing patterns and so on...

Even Quillbot itself includes a disclaimer on their page, stating that their detector is not 100% reliable so please don't think too much about the results it gives you.

There's a huge difference between 25-50% and 50-80%

But this is exactly why @chaos-in-deepspace and others need to reconsider their approach to this subject. They're effectively harming people's mental health under the guise of spreading awareness. Even if unintentionally. (I tagged you to have a look at this, not to call you out, mind you).

In fact, you are not the first person to reach out to me about this. My inbox is flooded with messages from users who are terrified of being falsely accused, and my heart goes out to each and every one of you.

I'm sharing this publicly now because you wrote me anonymously; I hope that's okay.

For clarification: I'm not enabling AI writers. This is a matter that should be discussed, but not by throwing people under the bus.

Anyway.

Annonie, if you're reading this: Please promise me you'll take care of your health, alright? Log out, spend time with loved ones, do something that feels good to you. And if you feel like talking, you can always reach out to me anonymously 🩷✨

Remember: This is not the real world. This is just the internet, with a bunch of strangers sharing their insights on a game that's supposed to be fun.

Don't stop doing what you love. Share your stories, keep working on improving your English skills. You don't need to be perfect; just be patient with yourself, and someday you won't even need to rely on translators. 😊

Love, Cheri 🍒

[paradoxicalcurio]

Okay, let's break some shit down! I recommend just skipping over this post unless you're one of the three dozen or so people with enough personality issues to create callout blogs.

Okay, let's take this apart bit by bit.

>cries about getting blocked, calls it "selfish"

It is selfish. I don't know what the fuck happened to the concepts of communication and respect, but it seems like a lot of people don't follow them anymore in favor of completely avoiding anything that makes them even a little uncomfortable. All I want is the chance to clear up misunderstandings before they explode into situations that draw uninvolved people in. I try to give that to people, after all!

>antagonizes people in IMs people who reblog callout posts instead of unfollowing them

Related to the above point. I definitely wasn't 'antagonizing' or 'harassing' anyone, I was politely pointing out the corruption inherent in callout culture, which so far you have failed to convince me is fake. And if you happen to see this, Soy, just know that it's only a matter of time before someone tries to cancel you.

>brings up neurodivergence for no reason

Bitch, we both know that mentally ill people make prime bullying targets. Don't try to pretend otherwise.

Maybe if you actually read the callouts or followed what you preached you wouldn't be on your 10th block evasion blog.

Why would I want to read a bunch of uninformed accusations based on misunderstandings, exaggerations, carefully cropped screenshots taken out of context, and outright falsehoods? I've seen enough to know the basic formula. And it's quite bold of you to accuse me of trying so hard to block evade, when there was only ONE incident that only occurred because I didn't realize the person, who was following my Nerissa blog, had my OC blog blocked until AFTER the fact, and tried to bring that up only to have the door slammed in my face. There are plenty of other reasons to delete and remake blogs, such as wanting a fresh start, or in my case, because of DEPRESSION. So this accusation only proves my point about misunderstandings and falsehoods.

Maybe don't gloat about following someone who was outed for being manipulative and turn around acting like the people mad at you for going "all callouts bad".

This brings me to another issue I have with callouts: I can decide for myself whether someone is bad or not. I don't need someone who's already biased against the person trying to convince me that they're Satan. And also, you remember that dumpster fire with all the trans women being targeted, reported, and harassed, just a few weeks ago? Yeah, that was callout culture. Even if I believed you people had everyone's best interests at heart, it is way too easy for bigots to use this tool to turn public opinion against marginalized people.

at this rate you're going to defend someone who actually did something akin to sexually assaulting someone with concrete proof-

I highly fucking doubt that. Especially since you people don't care about concrete evidence.

-and then double down while acting smug before deleting your blog and coming back again so all the people who blocked you before need to re-block you.

See my above point, re: more likely reasons for deleting and remaking. And if that does happen, those people won't need to worry, as I'll have already done my part and re-blocked them first.

[athymy-meraki]

Well, I log onto tumblr for the first time in a few months to rewrite some posts and I see this shit on my timeline. I'm going to go on a tirade right now because this just pisses me the fuck off. I thought we were done with this, and this seems to be from months ago too, but nope. You posted this literal days after the whole debacle of you being unable to handle criticism. If you respond to this or try to drag it on, I'm blocking you Jay.

I am autistic as well, I understand it can make you blunt but that's not a fucking excuse to post a screenshot with my uncensored username to then bitch about me and make false claims. I personally use strong words, but it was nothing more than my personal opinion. I was unaware at the time that you were a porn artist, but that doesn't mean I can't have an opinion. This was posted on fucking reddit, dude. I also find it really weird how you found the post within only like 3 hours, what were you name searching yourself or some shit? I honestly wonder how you found it so quickly, and how you found it at all at that. Are you just name searching yourself all the time to try and act pissed at anyone criticizing you? This is the Internet, dude, I expect more from an adult.

Can I also say how you are harassing me and allowing your followers to witch-hunt me if they so please, when you are 35 and I'm 17? Are you fucking serious? You're an ADULT, act like one.

I pointed out how you drew "lesbians turning straight" art, but you rebutted and insisted a lesbian commissioned that. I'll believe that, sure. But you STILL fetishize lesbians, because you have MULTIPLE pieces of art like this. And don't tell me they're all commissions. This is only one example, there are more than just this

Censored so this doesn't get taken down. But you know what else? You LITERALLY PUT THAT YOU "LIKE" LESBIANS IN YOUR FURSONA SHEET along with incest, noncon and dubcon

Don't fucking tell me that it was "just a commission" when this is cold hard evidence that you have a weird obsession with lesbians, as a MAN.

My second complaint is that you accused me of cherry-picking, giving Brandy, "washboard flat" as an example. However, you still find other ways to sexualize this character, talking about her ass in posts.

I'm not saying you can't be horny, I'm saying don't try to say she isn't sexualized just because she has a small chest unlike the others. I'll give you the pass on Cybil though, her design is fine actually.

On AI art, I stand by my claim. Ai only hurts artists, nothing it produces is original. I understand you have rheumatoid arthritis, but you brag about making a shit ton of money from your art, why don't you hire a background artist? Using ai literally only makes your art look worse because ai backgrounds are easy to spot, it looks cheap and lazy then. Companies are now using ai to make movie posters and advertisements instead of hiring real artists now. And can we talk about how ai is evolving to make fucking DEEPFAKE PORN OF MINORS?? The toby fox arguement doesn't even work, he still made the entire song, wrote it, did the sound design, he didn't just type a bunch of words into a computer to generate it FOR him, like ai "artists" do. I don't have a problem with ai helping art, I have a problem with generative ai stealing art and shitting out terrible pictures so lazy assholes can claim to be artists.

The last thing I want to cover: the other user you harassed. I'm not in contact with this user since then, but because of something I did, you harass them and assume we are the same person. Why? Because I quoted them, saying "I" instead of "someone" or "they". This was a mistake, I don't quote people often. But, I DID notice this before you even pointed it out, however I kept it because when you found the post I thought "hey, maybe if he thinks I said that, they'll stay out of trouble or something" and that fucking backfired I guess. By the way the comments weren't deleted, I blocked you. You sent me some dm, which I ignored and can no longer bring up unfortunately, about how you "caught" me, because my reddit account features otherkin posts, and you said the other user does aswell, which I'm literally failing to find other than one joke post with otherkin tags??? Seriously dude, grow up. You also claimed we have similar diction, or spelling or whatever. I don't use proper grammar sometimes when I'm not trying to be serious about something. Accusing me of being another person over text-speak is fucking insane dude. You also made THIS comment, saying how you didn't care and whatever, and yet this was posted I think about a WEEK after the whole thing

"I woke up and chose violence" No dude, that term is used about being aggressive and getting shit done finally, or standing up to someone. Stuff like that. NOT harassing a MINOR for disliking your art.

I fully meant it when I said I originally had no ill will towards you, I just personally don't like your specific artstyle. But who gives a shit, huh? But now after seeing this, fuck that, FULL ill will. Seriously dude, you are an asshole. When the person with bpd tells you to fucking chill, you KNOW it's bad. In case you forgot from the top of the post, if you respond or try to drag it on beyond this, OR screenshot this and bitch about me to your followers, I am BLOCKING YOU.

See ya.

Edit: Yeah I'd also like to go on a little note to say you're also a racist scumbag. I don't fucking care if you have "black friends who let you say it" or "don't mean it in a racist way" you don't fucking get to say ANY varient of the N word, you are a WHITE MAN. It does not affect you, you cannot reclaim it, little white boy here has never heard of a micro aggression I guess. It is not possible for you to say it in a "non-racist" context because YOU'RE NOT BLACK. I never wanted you to "lose your job" you fucking made that up. Perpetual Victim Complex Jay I guess. Yeah fuck you, grown ass man.

I just woke up and I chose violence let's go.

Look all I'm sayin' is

If you're gonna attack AI generative art

You should, for the same reason, attack Toby Fox.

The reason I've seen the most for people not liking AI is that it's not "Real art" and that it "Takes jobs from artists" and that it "Steals from other artists"

Well, then, let's talk about how Hopes and Dreams by Toby Fox uses fake Violins to mimic a symphony orchestra. Toby could have hired a real orchestra but he used a fake one and y'all came in your drawers over it.

Why'd nobody ever lift a finger to cover social media in how Toby Fox doesn't deserve to make money because his song "Undertale" uses a fake guitar that sounds just like a real one? He could have hired a musician to play guitar but he didn't! That cost a REAL guitar player a job, didn't it?

And how come when it was found out that Toby Fox stole entire lietmotifs from other games like Kirby n shit, y'all had like 600,000,000 excuses to defend him?

I don't dislike Toby I think he's amazing, like 100/10, one'a the brightest examples of a success story of all time and one of the nicest most pure-hearted people on earth who made two of my favorite games of all time and a ton of my favorite music. Spider Dance has been my ring tone for like 8 years.

I'm just saying, the literal same reasons I see people attacking AI gen art is shit that Toby does, all of it, and y'all worship Toby for it but attack artists.

And neither here nor there, but hear me out?

Y'all will say you're in defense of artists keeping their jobs and their livelihoods which is so very noble of you, but if an artist draws shortstacks that are just a little too short, or if an artist utilizes AI, or if an artist draws Rose Quartz skinny, or if an artist draws Sans and Frisk getting a little too Frisky, or if an artist votes for Trump, or if an artist says a dirty word you don't like, or if an artist draws a black person that looks just a little bit too stereotypical, or if an artist draws a lesbian character getting fucked, or if an artist doesn't believe in gender identities, or if an artist doesn't put trans characters in their graphic novel, or if an artist makes a sexy character with butt-jiggle the protagonist of their video game; Y'ALL ARE COMPLETELY OKAY WITH SAYING THAT ARTIST SHOULDN'T BE MAKING MONEY, AND BANDWAGONING A HATEMONGERING BRIGADE AGAINST THEM.

Or in the Sans and Frisk case: PUT SEWING NEEDLES INSIDE OF COOKIES AND GIVE THEM TO THE ARTIST WHO DREW IT, PUTTING THEM IN THE HOSPITAL.

Listen

Spare me this "We hate AI because we care about the jobs of artists" shit, you lying scoundrels. You don't care about my job! You've tried to cancel me like 500 goddamn times, got my Patreon frozen twice, got my PayPal frozen over 100 times even right in the middle of conventions, flooded my stream chat and spammed the N-word in chat trying to get my Twitch banned, flooded my Discord multiple times with links to CP trying to get my Discord banned, and you have entire Discord servers literally called things like "Jay is an asshole" and "The We Hate Jay Society" (YEAH I KNOW YOU FUCKERS EXIST, HI, HAVE FUN SCREENCAPPING THIS).

My artistic career has been under fire for the past 12 years because I draw things y'all disagree with, have opinions you don't like, and have family members who vote for politicians you think are the boogeyman that's the cause of all your problems (and haven't disowned those family members). With all due respect, when I hear "We hate AI because we believe in fair wages for artists and want to protect the jobs of artists" I just wanna strangle your lying ass.

You hate AI because it's popular to hate AI.

AI is like a prosthetic robot arm that helps you carry the groceries, and disabled people like myself (rheumatoid arthritis) benefit from its uses greatly (such as being able to draw backgrounds much easier which has greatly improved my art and INCREASED MY COMMISSION REVENUE DUE TO MY ART QUALITY IMPROVING [But y'all don't care that AI helps artists earn more money, you hate AI because you claim it's hurting artists' ability to earn money]), but you're so hung up on people using the robot arm instead of their real arms that you think you're some crusader against injustice.

You aren't.

You're just looking for reasons to attack people, it's what you do. I've been dealing with y'all looking for any goddamn reason to attack someone that you can muster for the last 12 years, hell even before that I dealt with you types. You just want to hate, you want to be prejudiced so fucking bad that you look for literally any reason you can possibly find to make some vaguepost about how much you hate an artist and post it to Reddit, and then when you get called out, get so surprised that I found your bitch ass that you start pretending you didn't mean any ill will, and start pretending that you're someone else in the most pathetic attempt to dodge blame I've ever seen.

[Context: The OP of this post accidentally revealed who they are on Tumblr, and then when I called them out on Tumblr, they pretended they were someone else because they were scared I was gonna out them on Tumblr and they tried pathetically to cover their ass, and even politely said "I never wanted to garner hate against you" when they literally posted "I hate the way he draws women" on r/mendrawingwomen and flooded the comment section (mostly now deleted) with how "disgusting of a person" I am, while I was in the comments politely giving context to the shit he was saying about me, and he started getting furious when other people were liking my art and agreeing with me instead of him. I have like 600 screencaps of all the cringe this guy spewed, but I'm not gonna post it all because it's tangential anyway. Case in point? This guy's blog is absolutely covered with how much he hates artists for drawing things he doesn't like, and he regularly posts about how AI is taking jobs from artists. Not gonna out his blog, but that's who he is. A shining example of exactly what I'm talking about. "I hate AI because it takes jobs from artists!" "THIS MAN-THING DRAWS WOMEN IN A WAY I DON'T LIKE AND HE'S A DISGUSTING PERSON, EVERYONE JOIN ME IN HATING HIM AND TRYING TO RUIN HIS REPUTATION AND THEN WE CAN CELEBRATE WHEN HE LOSES HIS JOB!!!"]

Like, y'all can sit there and act like you're defending me and artists like me all you want, you're liars. You're boldfaced fucking liars. You are disgusting. It's completely pathetic watching you attack a tool that can be used to improve our art, and claim it's in defense of the authenticity of our art and the continued financial stability of our artistic careers. Fucking give me a break.

You're looking for people who say positive things about AI art so you can attack them and feel justified because it's popular to attack them.

All while sitting there and gladly swallowing the cum of any musician who makes amazing music with synths, fake symphony instruments and autotune.

"We care about the jobs of artists."

Yeah.

Long as those artists fall in line with your opinions and only draw things that agree with said opinions, right?

Wouldn't wanna care about the jobs of "problematic" artists who draw "offensive" stuff or vote for politicians you don't like.

Final note: This isn't even an attack against any political opinions or activism or anything like that, but I'm being realistic here because these are the people I see brigading against AI art. It's not me saying those people are dumb for having their opinions or political standpoints or being activists for their beliefs, it's me saying those people are the ones who are constantly attacking AI art in "defense of artists," while in the same breath attacking artists for not sharing their political standpoints or also being activists for the same causes. If you truly, truly cared about the livelihood of artists, you'd stop attacking artists' livelihood for disagreeing with you. Or for that matter: Any reason. Stop attacking artists' livelihood, or stop pretending you care about it. Be consistent, at least.

[just-messing-around]

Pro can mean a lot of stuff. Professional, being in favor of something, Public Relations Officer, ect.

But for some reason, I've been seeing 'pro' be used for 'pro'blematic all over twitter.

'If you're a pro shipper, don't interact. I hate those people!'

Yo! 'Pro' shipping means 'I'm not gonna get in an argument with you if you think (insert characters) should be in a relationship instead of (insert other characters). I'mma just gonna let you do your thing'!

It was never meant to be 'I like to put characters into problematic or toxic relationships'!

I have no idea when people started to link 'pro' with 'problematic' or WHY, but I'm getting tired of seeing people get bullied on social media because a bunch of people don't understand what it means. I could just be scrolling through twitter and all of a sudden, people are being accused of being supporters of VERY bad relationships when in reality; that person just means something like 'I enjoy this canon ship because those characters make a really great couple in my eyes, but if you like one of the characters with another character better, I support you and am not gonna bite your head off over it'.

They're 'oh, yay, love between fictional characters! Let's have fun! I can't wait to see why everybody likes the relationships they support!' They're not 'I'm going to take these characters and put them into an incredibly toxic or problematic relationship'!

Some pro shippers are also 'problematic' shippers, but not all pro shippers are problematic!

I'm a pro shipper, not a 'problematic' shipper! I'm also a multi shipper!

I'm:

'Well, I'm not a personal fan of this ship, but I'm glad you like it'

And

'I love Luz x Amity, but Luz x Hunter seems interesting, too. Oh! Amity x Luz x Hunter x Willow??' (Just as an easy example)

I am not:

'I ship this minor with this adult (or insert other problematic or illegal thing), heheh, I'm so problematic and love all kinds of illegal stuff in my ships and will try to force this stuff onto others'!

Like, what?! Stop confusing it! Who linked 'pro' with 'problematic', when and why?

Innocent people are getting a bad reputation and being treated bad because of assumptions just because people are misunderstanding what 'pro' is meant to stand for!

If I put 'pro shipper' in my bio or something, I mean 'feel free to talk with me about your ships. I'm willing to listen, but if it makes me.uncomfortable for some reason, I'll ask to talk about something else'. But if I put that, people will think I mean 'problematic shipper' and all of a sudden, I'll be blocked by a bunch of people and possibly even open a social media app to see a bunch of hate mail or posts!

[sugar-and-spice-cl]

Lewis: compliments Charles after Silverstone

@slow-button-off : omg he's so petty!

Max: says this year's fight for the title is respectful while last year it wasn't

@slow-button-off : omg he's so right!

🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

First of all, there's no fight, even Marko wished Charles a race without strategy fuckups because Ferrari is a joke this year. Saying this nonexistent fight is respectful is condescending and disingenuous at best. It's easy to be gracious when you are on top of the standings and are more or less certain to remain there.

Second, it wasn't Mercedes or the Hamiltons throwing murder and drugs accusations at their rival driver and making fans feel justified in their racist abuse of the only black driver, it was RB and the Verstappens.

And they have the audacity to say "how dare British journalists say last year wasn't respectful!"?

And call Lewis petty but Maxie the best guy ever even though he says slurs and defends racists????

Max apologists are a bunch of hypocrites. They should check their biases and racism cause they're obvious to anyone.

Hey! This is the second ask calling out slow-button-off's racism that I received in like 3 weeks, and like the fifth post all together that I see about it, so it's obvious that there's an issue here with this individual, I'm not trying to dismiss you! But I'm sorry, don't know this person. There's nothing I can do about this. Maybe we interacted in the past but I honestly can't remember because I'm not on F1 tumbrl much (which makes the fact that I've already seen several posts about it very concerning).

Anyway this isn't the first time I'm asked about this blog, so I'm going to address it.

I absolutely agree that Lewis and his family were as respectful as they could be when faced with the racist shitstorm RB threw at them. iirc Lewis had to hire security because he was receiving so many threats. Anyways, I remember Lewis' father congratulating MV after the race that shall not be named and Lewis spraying MV with champagne even though he was robbed due to "human error" (ahem, let's call it that, since it's what the official sources say; we all know it was a deliberate choice by Masi).

Lewis didn't storm off the podium, didn't incite or condone abuse, didn't ignore awful fans behavior. He even called out fans who cheered at MV's crashes.

You'd literally have to hold a gun at MV's head to hear similar words, and HIS fans are the ones sexually harassing people, throwing racist and homophobic slurs around and burning Lewis' and Merc's merch in the stands (which is incredibly fucked up and concerning).

And they do it because they don't get reprimanded in any way for it. Because their hero doesn't say anything about it. MV can't control people of course, but he - being their hero - can influence them.

And we're all seeing the results of such influence.

In general I 100% agree with you. There is no fight this year. Not with MV. Hopefully Charles can keep his p2, but with new upgrades coming for everyone, who knows. Perez had some bad races lately but today's data showed that he's still quite fast (third fastest after Charles and MV iirc).

Charles problem is one and only one. Unfortunately, it's a massive one: Ferrari.

So yeah, MV calling this a respectful fight makes me laugh honestly. If Charles were 10 points behind or ahead of him, who knows what he, his family and team would say. Last year they were so vocal...

Or maybe they would say nothing because Charles is white and doesn't fit the stereotype of the angry, wannabe killer, drug addict black man that RB and the Verstappens went for last year 🙄

As for the blog you're calling out, I truly don't mean to sound dismissive, but I just don't know what to do. I'm sorry!

But if them or anyone like them is reading this, I hope you understand that if you don't call out terrible behavior, even when it's your fave that perpetrates it, you're part of the problem.

The fact that MV can say slurs, defend racists, not call out his violent fans and people find a thousand ways to justify him, but Lewis can't compliment Charles without people calling him petty or a snake is just concerning.

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

more on your turn table au, [grabby hands] hand the angst over

you're in luck, I've got a whole bunch more already, i was about to post but i go hype for asks so i'M READY. it's all coming together nicely. asks really get me going too, so this is perfect

- it gets to a point where the rest of the crew apart from Mac are assimilated. before, some of the crew were in protest and doubting themselves even before the first argument, but they were still doubting when it happened and either go along (pretty much involuntarily, through fear) or get turned soon after

- the crew don't just end up making accusations based on him being a Thing, they bring up dirt on him as a person just to make the whole thing worse, especially the whole idea that he's putting on this front, probs thinking he's better than people and thinking he can just tell them what to do (the turn tables indeed); it also ends up making him sound less convincing when he tries to argue back and they make his reaction as proof that he's both a) not worth it and not good enough and b) a Thing so clearly he's not trustworthy even to begin with

- even throughout some of the crew start to question but manage to hide this for fear of who could be a Thing, but unfortunately it's not easy and they get forcibly assimilated as a result

- even though you can't always tell who's a Thing without proper tests, it sucks that Mac has seen proof of the crew being Things and that he's been accused by potential things of something he's not and his own crew are being potentially dragged into securing his own demise because he's the main guy, he keeps on top of things and his own emotions to keep the peace. if he falls apart or if he gets killed, shit's gonna go wild and they can take over the base and go from Antarctica

- the guy who sabotaged his helicopter?? totally Blair. thought that would be a cool parallel from the film, besides the fact that we don't know when he got assimilated and what his destruction of the base was about

- when he does discover his helicopter's been sabotaged, they're clearly waiting for him as he moves away from it and they do it in a very dystopian like way, like, "it'd be better if you weren't able to do that, we don't know who or what you are" and "we're doing this for the best" and though he's like "bullshit, no you ain't", inside he's like "they can't trust me and I don't know who they are, what the fuck do I do" and the distrust and paranoia just makes leaps and bounds from there

- he can't tell who, if any, of the crew are not Things, and he has a feeling to appeal to one of them but he's not sure if a) they're a Thing clearly there to trap him, b) a human being manipulated and not able to help him because they'll get done over too or c) a human clearly manipulating him to get him trapped by the Things themselves

- obviously none of them can tell who the Things are, but none of them are willing to take risks to bypass their decision to kill Mac since they'll probably get done over whether that be because they'll be accused of being a Thing or colluding with Mac and therefore not on their side (the whole 'us v them' mentality)

- the whole scene with the dynamite?? almost happens, but they get to it before him and dispose of it, mocking and making threats about how if he doesn't go with them, but he manages to lock himself in the storage area in the process and has to figure out a way of defending himself before they break the door down because clearly he's fucked out in the snow without his helicopter

- it's obvious he doesn't want to go quietly so frankly they corner him at one point, or surprise and knock him the hell out, either way, because Things are bastards and will weaponise anything, even your friends against you, to take over the base, and we get this nice swap where he's the one restrained to the couch this time, and he has to bank on someone being human enough or even someone who's a Thing to find a window of opportunity to appeal to before the worst comes to the worst

- although they decide to test his blood, regardless, it gets to a point where the tables are turned yet again and they're going to kill him anyway because he's just that much of a threat and no one's gonna be able to fend them off now as they take over the base, especially it now being harder to tell who's a Thing and who's not, and frankly it was neat that they could turn the tables and make him understand whilst he couldn't do shit

- Mac is hoping to find most appeal in Windows (besides the fact I ship them, there's clearly that bond between them) although he fears the worst knowing his anxious disposition and the idea that the Things would find it easier to tell where he really stood and that his connection to Mac would make him a threat and saw him as easily disposable (and potentially able to be a manipulator that way due to Mac's tenuous but still clear appeal to him for help)

yoooo, I'm really liking where this is going!! I'm so glad I could throw some more angst at you concerning it. that's pretty much it for the moment, though it's obviously already a lot. I loved doing this, thank you so much!!

[keikakudori]

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

the salty af munday meme

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

i don't like them. never have. never will.

it's far too easy for people to make up bullshit out of nothing and toss accusations about with nothing substantial behind this so-called callout. and, quite frankly, public callouts come off as very witch hunt-y to me. nine times out of ten, i will blatantly ignore a call out post because i've seen too many of them being used to smear someone's name or inspire slander against them, along with encouraging mob mentality to dogpile the person in question. and a lot of the time, it can ( and has ) come out that the entire thing was complete and utter BULLSHIT.

and of course, by the time that it comes out that this was indeed a smear campaign, the person who was targeted has possibly lost all their friends and has decided to quit whatever they're doing.

now, that's not to say that i am against people going "hey you should be cautious when interacting with X because they have shown some behavior which is troubling" but there is a world of difference between quietly going to a friend and giving them a heads up or cautioning them over interacting with someone you've had experience with and that experience wasn't great versus dropping a massive callout post so people can consume it for what feels like a very soap opera menality. it feels more like the point of callout posts is to inspire drama and rip friend circles apart sometimes.

but if someone IS being blatantly predatory? then there had better be more than just "oh, i'm saying this because they're writing things that make me uncomfy." i'll buy a little more into a callout if more than three people are sharing similar experiences. once is chance. twice is coincidence. three times is enemy action. just block them and move on.

people can make their own judgments.

and if ten or a hundred people see the same event, then you will have ten or a hundred different versions of what actually happened. even if a person is toxic as all get out? then just tell your friends so they can block them. it does not need to become an absolute circus of "HE SAID/SHE SAID/THEY SAID" and so on and so forth. i think that callouts are tied into cancel culture and i'm so tired of them both.

i believe in giving people a chance to learn from their mistakes and grow as a person. not everyone will; that's the sad, simple truth of life. but i absolutely do not believe in holding something someone said in ignorance or whatnot against them. everyone deserves the chance to better themselves and if they're condemned or attacked, then that won't change anything. people should be able to be told "hey, what you said wasn't great; could you not repeat that in the future?" without being attacked for it.

just don't do it again, yeah?

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

honestly, i consider the bleach rpc to be pretty chill for the most part. i feel like it's not a very big rpc and i'm always excited to see new people in it, or people returning to it these days - ESPECIALLY with the blood war finally being aired. but it does feel like everyone knows everyone and we're all a bunch of friends getting to sit around and tell our silly stories to each other. sure, there's been a few people that i've interacted with that i probably won't do so again, but i feel like a lot of the drama's petered out and that's not a bad thing.

besides, i've met some amazing writers in this rpc ( besides cas ) and i'm so happy i have. this is a very comfy rpc for me! it's a homey sort of place and i'm glad that people have fun here. have i seen some bad takes? yeah. have i seen drama? yes, absolutely. but overall, it's a genuinely pleasant rpc these days. no need to really change anything, i feel.

❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

maybe about a 2 on a 1 to 10 scale. lmao. i'm feeling "i need a nap" more than anything.