#if you'll excuse me i need to go have some emotions about this

[jadefyre]

“Are you all right?”

When Murderbot is reunited with Mensah in All Systems Red vs. when they're reunited in Exit Strategy

[the-acid-pear]

Need to finish my Dave design so I can draw him with Mori

[lunamochii]

you, me, our dreams.

cw ; thirdyear!hinata shoyo x f!reader, angst to fluff.

Dating Shoyo is like throwing yourself into a tornado, you never know what will be the next spin off of your relationship. During the last years of highschool, your relationship have gone still, his more preoccupied now on trying to make his dreams come true.

But what about finding from other people that his going abroad after finishing highschool?

"One more lap!"

The voice of your coach reach your ears even though you've gone underwater and when you finally finish your training, you got out from the pool and excuse yourself from the team. Changing back to your uniform, the note you got earlier from your locker, in which you put on the pocket of your skirt fell down

'Let's have a date! See ya afterschool, babe.'

You don't feel the usual tingling sensation, not even the butterflies in your stomach. You hurriedly put on your uniform and grab your bag, waving to your teammates you finally exited the pool area and run from there to your house. It's not that far but it really got you gasping for air once you arrive at your doorstep

A hot bath always relaxes your mind and body everytime you get home and you know that you need it now.

After taking a bath you just blow dried your hair and throw yourself at your bed, by the time you close your eyes you are once again reminded on what you've heard hours ago that you wish you'll just forget

"Oh the memories!"

You stop at your tracks when you heard some familiar voices, peeking out from where you are. You can see the faces of some of the alumni of Karasuno Voleyball Team

"I'm so excited to see Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi! Hope those four didn't stress Hitoka-chan."

"You're such a worry rat Asahi! I mean, same. I will teach Kageyama what to do with his sign once he get popular!"

The three men laugh and you can't help but admire how strong their bond is. You transferred to Karasuno during second year and that's where when the voleyball team are at the top. It also didn't help that you are at the same class of Shoyo and Kageyama, you three became friends and they always invites you over to watch some of their practice match

Although your relationship with Shoyo went from friends to lovers, his a ray of sunshine that you can't help but want to get close. It was valentines day when he surprise you with chocolates and flowers, remembering the teasing face of Tsukishima and Kageyama seeing how Shoyo almost fumble his surprise

"Though is Hinata really sure of his plans after graduation?"

It was Sawamura who spoke and it got you more curious so you went a little closer to hear more better

'Shoyo's plans after graduation?' He never told you about it

"I know. Brazil is so far away! Our lil'tangerine really grew up huh."

"Never saw it coming."

Their voices slowly fades away as you ponder your mind on what you just heard, why didn't Shoyo told you? Is that why his always busy and away? Just why?

You were brought back to your senses when your phone suddenly vibrated, you forgot that you set it to silent mode. You look at the caller and frown seeing that it's Shoyo

"Hi babe! I think you didn't see the letter I put on your locker, just trying to be romantic, heh. Anyways! I'm at the gate waiting for you."

Hearing his cheery voice makes your heart clench, not in a joyous way but the most saddest way.

"I'm sorry, I went home already."

"Eh? Then I'll go-"

"Not today, Hinata."

That's a warning the moment he heard you call him by his last name, you never call him that on a daily basis except when you're not in the mood

"Did something happen? Are you okay?"

You bit your lower lip before answering him, suppressing your emotions

"I'm fine. Bye."

The call ended and it was just the start of you slowly drifting away from Shoyo.

Morning came and you arrived at the classroom earlier than usual, you also exited the room before Shoyo can even go up and talk to you. You also manage to avoid him during lunch and recess by going with your friends. Last but not the least, you always go home earlier than usual.

2 weeks later

You were about to go home when a text from Hitoka arrive stating that she needs to tell you something, she said that you're the only class president left who hasn't know about it yet because she couldn't catch you.

Arriving at the gym, you notice that there's no people and that maybe Hitoka left since her text was sent 20 mins after you finish your training

"I'll just- *slam*"

You quickly turn around but to be only greeted by a hug, the familiar scent and warm immediately let your body be at rest. You didn't move nor pat him on the back, you only stood still and just look down even after he break away from the hug

"You're killing me, y'know that? 2 weeks without hearing your voice, feeling your warm embrace. I miss everything about you, ____."

His hand touches your face but you refuse to meet his gaze because you know that the moment you lift your face, all the strong facade you've put up will crumble

"I'm just busy. The swimming tournament is just around the corner so I've been practicing."

He knows that's a lie, Shoyo just knows. He learn from your teammates that the tournament got push back to next month and that you're pushing yourself to your limits everytime you train

"Why are you lying?"

That irk you

"I'm not lying."

"Yes, you are! The tournament is on next month and that you're just extra training trying to avoid me."

That did it, you push him away from you

"So what? Not like you care, Hinata. We're both athletes so you know how important our sports to us."

Still, you kept your head hang low. Fuck, your tears are already pooling on your eyes and you just hope that your voice won't waver for a second

"But you're important to me too! Look, I know I'm not the best boyfriend but I think about you all the time! Not being near you these past few days is torture, ____."

You scoff and Shoyo heard it loud and clear, something's wrong and it's telling him to reach out to you or else you'll really slip away from him

"Think about me? What a joke! Ever since we became third years, our relationship have gone astray. We only meet each other once a week or maybe none!"

His not understanding a word you're saying and his heart is beating so fast

"We are adults now, we can make big decision without trying to consult or tell others about it, right?"

"What are you saying?"

Shoyo lift his hand to reach out to you but

"Don't touch me!"

He got taken back at the sudden raise of your voice, he also notice how you kept fiddling with your hands

"What I'm trying to say is, let's just break up!"

"No. No, you can't just say that."

Shoyo immediately grab your shoulders but you kept on pushing him

"Let go of me, Hinata!"

"I can't do that. Please, what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing, just let me go!"

"Saying we break up is not nothing!"

Using all your strength you manage to push him hard and he landed on the floor, his eyes studied your actions and saw how you balled your fist and when he was about to speak up, tears drip down from your face to the floor

"I'm nothing to you! You don't think of me! Aren't you glad that I'm breaking up with you?! It will be more easier for you to just forget about me and go to Brazil, right?!"

"Where did you-"

"I'm doing you a favor so please just forget about me, think nothing of me!"

You gasp when he stood up and pulls you in for a tight hug

"Shoyo, please!"

"I'm not letting you go. Never."

"I hate you! I hate you!"

You cried on to his arm that you didn't notice your shoulder getting wet from his own tears, you two stood at the center of the gym, crying. When you calmed down and stop resisting, he pulled away enough to get a closer look of your face, he tilt your face up and capture your lips for a sweet and long kiss.

"I hate you.." you said in between kisses "I know.." and he replied but that didn't make Shoyo pull away. He broke the kiss when he felt your hands on his back, he looks at you but you averted his gaze.

Shoyo pulled you towards the stage and he lifts you up effortlessly and made you sit on the stage floor. He place his arms on each side of your body as he captures your lips for a kiss again. This time, your hands started to play on his orange locks, you feel like drowning each time he moves his lips. You hate how much grip he has on you, but what you hate the most is knowing you'll never be the same once you two part ways

"Open your mouth for me.."

"Mhm..!"

His now standing in between your thighs, one hand is place on your back while the other one is on the back of your neck. The deeper the kiss goes, the deeper you let yourself drown on to his love. When the both of you pulled away, a string of saliva appeared and you quickly cover your lips

"I planned to tell you that I'm going to Brazil the day I left the note on your locker. I guess you heard it from my teammates."

"No, not from your teammates. Didn't your seniors visited that day? I was passing by the gym when I heard them talk about it."

Shoyo hums and rest his head on the crook of your neck, his lips leaving soft feathering kiss there

"I love you, ____. I think about you all the time, every day and night. Even when I'm about to sleep, you're always on my mind. Not a day passes by where you're not included on my thoughts. I know that not telling you a little bit earlier of my plans is a bad move but it's because I'm also having trouble with it."

You softly stroke his hair and held hands with him, you miss being this close with him

"Trouble?"

"Mhm the thought of me leaving you all alone, the thought of me going somewhere where I'm away from the people I treasure, away from the person I love the most. It gives me so much pain, seeing your tears flow down from your cheeks while ago, it makes me want to back out from my own decision."

"No, I was being selfish. I want you to go after your dreams, I want you to shine more, Shoyo. I want the world to know just how good you are, I want to show the world what they're missing. Don't let my meaningless words and actions hold you back. Chase it, chase your dreams."

"But you're one of my dreams too. I want you to be at my side as I slowly reach the top. I want you near me. I want you to be there."

He cup your cheeks and kisses you lips which made you smile warmly and Shoyo couldn't help but fall even more harder

"And I will be there. I'm sorry for acting out of character. It was dumb of me."

"No, you're feelings are valid. If you were the one who did that to me, I'll have the same reaction."

You laugh softly and Shoyo kisses you once again, this time it's more full of his overflowing passion and desire for you.

"Stop pushing!"

"Fuck- I can't hear their voices."

"Guys we shouldn't be eavesdropping..."

"Tadashi is right guys!"

"The hell King! Move your ass!"

"What did you say Tsukishima?!"

"Stop it you two!"

You jolted away making you break away from the kiss and Shoyo let's out a annoyed sigh making you giggle and as soon the doors of the gym burst open and revealed Hitoka, Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Kageyama.

"____, Hinata! Have you guys fix things up?"

Hitoka is the first one who spoke

"Just how long were you guys eavesdropping?" Shoyo ask

"When we heard ____ gasp for air." Kageyama answered

"What?!" You scream "Kageyama!" The setter look at his friends with annoyed expression, silently asking if what he said is wrong

"And that's why you can never have a girlfriend."

Tsukishima deadpans and that was the cue of them two bickering and you just can't help but shake your head. Shoyo squeezes your hand and you turn your head to look at him, he stole a quick kiss and press his forehead to yours

"I love you, ____."

"I love you too, Shoyo."

likes, reblogs, comment are highly appreciated!🩷

[jjksblackgf]

cherry flavored | jjk (m)

pairing — jeon jungkook x reader summary — You bet with your boyfriend that he can't handle more than five minutes of your tongue, but Jungkook never turns away from a challenge. You'll make sure to keep him in his place. genre — smut, pwp, established relationship rate — 18+ word count — 1.6k warnings — explicit sexual content, oral sex (m receiving), deep throating.

The empty bottles of wine filled the center of the dining table, and the cheese platter was almost gone. Jungkook, with an arm around your shoulder, sat by your side at the dinner table, and your friend group filled the rest of the seats.

The laughter surrounded the apartment, and your friends filled you with joy.

“Can I help you clean up?” One friend asked you, and through her eyes, you could see she needed to talk.

“Sure thing,” you agreed. She asked your friend Alicia to join you in the kitchen before she started to talk.

“Guy, I need your help,” she said, nervous.

“Shoot,” you prompted.

“I’m dating this guy, and he’s got the biggest stamina ever!” she exclaimed. “I don’t know what to do. I need to get some sleep,” she finished whispering. You had to giggle at that.

“What is your dating life?” Alicia asked her, finishing the last of her wine. “The last guy didn’t know how to make you cum, and now this?”

“Everything in excess is bad for you, you know.”

“You need to control the situation,” you said. “Get him as hard as he can and only let him finish once you’re satisfied. That’s how I do it with Jungkook. Less than five minutes of blowjob and he’s done for. I usually do that when I want to speed things up.”

“Excuse me?” Jungkook appeared in the kitchen with some more plates for the dishwasher. 

“Did you figure out what they are talking about?” Jeremy, your coworker, butted in the conversation, walking into the kitchen too. 

“This one right here,” Jungkook said pointing to you, “just said that sometimes things need speeding up,” he said, frantic. 

“What things?” Jeremy asked.

“In the boudoir,” Alicia clarified.

“Oh, my man!” Jeremy shouted, hugging Jungkook sideways. “Be my personal trainer, man. I need that stamina,” Jeremy slurred his words and the girls giggled. 

“That’s rich coming from you, since you can’t take your hands off me,” Jungkook said. His face was full of emotion. Betrayal and cockiness were the most prominent.

“I can too,” you countered. Your friends just stood there, turning their heads from you to Jungkook and back.

“Alright, prove it. We’ll clock it. Whoever lasts longer wins.”

“You’re being such a virgo now,” Alicia commented.

“Okay, fine,” you agreed. And with that, you shook hands. 

Even though your friends were fully entertained, they had to leave eventually. Jeremy wished Jungkook good luck, and he rolled his eyes. The dishes were clean, the wine stained tablecloth was in the washer, and you were done.

“High five for the cleaning crew,” Jungkook said, already offering both of his hands. You complied, and he used the opportunity to pull you to his chest and kiss your lips. “Shout out to us.”

“Shout out to us,” you agreed, pecking his lips.

“Want to go to the boudoir?” He asked, mocking Alicia’s tone. “I want to set a record from the jump.” You had to roll your eyes at that. “I promise I won’t gloat.”

“Let’s see how you perform,” you challenged.

You woke up after a blissful night, still riding the high of an orgasm before a good night’s sleep. 6 minutes and 12 seconds. You were ashamed. If you were to guess, you’d say at least 10 minutes. But he’s good. Really good. With a tongue of the gods.

Jungkook shifted in his bed, stretching loudly and with a sinful smile. He woke up feeling himself. He didn’t gloat with his words, but his expression alone had you fuming. You had to beat him. You’d have to pull out the big guns. To the drug store you went.

The day passed quickly, and in the late afternoon you came back from work ready to rock his world. You entered the bedroom and heard Jungkook turning off the shower. That was good, less clothes to take off. He stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his hips and one drying his hair. His hair… His wet hair… It had you drooling. But you had a job to do.

“Wow, look at those pecs,” You said, sitting in the bed. You had the most fantastic view of his body. The light of the sunshine hit the droplets of water that were traveling through his torso just right. Mouthwatering. 

“Like what you see?” Jungkook said, wiggling his eyebrows and flexing his abs slightly. He walked closer to peck your lips. You used this moment to run your hand through his hair and hum in appreciation. Jungkook was really feeling himself now, smirking through the kiss.

Perfect time to enact your three step plan.

Step one, flatter his ego.

Step two, engage his competitiveness.

Step three, win

“You have somewhere to go?” you asked, holding his arm before he could go get dressed.

“Not tonight. Why? Feeling inspired?” he asked, jokingly stroking his abs, drying a few water droplets with the tip of his fingers.

“Actually, yes. I’m feeling pretty lucky to have left my end of the bet for tonight. You look so hot with water dripping on you like this,” you said, ogling his body and biting your lower lip. He gave you a breathy laugh.

“Say more words like that.”

“I’m ready to admit defeat. I just want to cherish you all night long,” you whispered. Wait for it…

“Wrong turn. I have the stop watch ready to go.” Bingo. “I am nothing if not a man of my word.”

“I guess that’s fine by me, too.”

“Where do you want to do the honors?” he asked, and you patted the bed, pulling him closer. He sat down, and you pushed his shoulders back, he fell down on the mattress and you straddled his lap with confidence.

“Bossy. I like it.”

“I can tell” you said, feeling his cock getting harder against your jeans. He was so easy. But getting him hard wasn’t difficult, getting him off on the other hand… But you had a good plan.

“Ready?” he asked and you pulled out flavored condoms out of your pocket.

“Yes, sir!”

“Condoms? I’m clean,” he joked, and you rolled your eyes.

“They’re part of the experience.”

“Condoms!?” he asked louder. “The things known to delay sensation of all mankind?”

“Not when I suck the flavors off them, they don’t.”

“Flavors?” he asked, and his eyebrows shot up.

“Get the watch going,” you smirked. He took a deep breath and pulled out the stopwatch.

“You’re on,” he said, pressing the top button.

You kissed his neck first, taking advantage of his position, and he closed his eyes. Maybe concentrating on not cumming, maybe enjoying the experience, maybe both. You grinded your crotch against his, and you noticed his breath get faster. 

You trailed kisses down his torso, savoring the many water droplets. You got off the bed and removed the towel easily. You opened the first condom, putting it perfectly. You saw Jungkook’s eyes shot open, and you knew he was curious about your methods.

“Which one is that?” he asked, trying not to sound so interested.

“Mint.”

“Refreshing,” he commented. He physically prepared himself, balling his hands into fists and taking a deep breath.

You had this, though. You used all of the pressure of your cheeks, wrapping your lips around him completely and bobbed your head slowly. You caressed his inner thigh in the process. Not much composed, Jungkook groaned and hissed, and you could see he was doing his best not to cum.

The flavor was gone in about two minutes, and Jungkook sighed in relief when it was time to change it. He ran his palm through his face, taking another deep breath, but you still hadn’t pulled out all of the tricks up your sleeve.

“Time for cherry,” you sang. Your secret weapon. Jungkook loved all things cherry flavored. The fruit, pies, jam, chapstick… So when his head shot up, and his eyes were about to jump out of their sockets, you knew you made the right choice.

You didn’t give him time to fully process it, your mouth engulfed him again, as deep as it could go. You made sure to use your gag reflex to your advantage, closing your throat around his tip, and retrieving it with a loud pop. The saliva trail left behind left you moaning his name.

“Jungkook, I want to taste you, baby,” you said seductively, and he whimpered, closing his eyes shut.

And you continued with your technique, ruthless.

One more.

Two.

Three.

When your lips wrapped around him for a fourth time, he pressured against the back of your head to keep you there. Your throat closed around him once more, and with a final grunt, he released you.

He panted hard, and you quickly grabbed the stopwatch, pressing the top button to mark your time. 5 minutes, 53 seconds.

He did last five minutes after all, just not longer than you.

“You played dirty,” Jungkook accused, seeing your inappropriate smile.

“Dirty is my middle name.”

Your friends were once more gathered around your dinner table. Jungkook was refreshing people’s drinks while you served the desserts. Cherry pie.

“How’s things with what’s-his-name?” you asked your friend, not bothering to remember his name.

“I took your advice to edge him, and it worked like a charm. But it’s not going to work, he’s too needy now,” she answered.

“Go figure,” Alicia commented.

“Hey, how was the bet by the way?” Jeremy inquired.

“Mind your business, Jeremy” Jungkook said, and the table erupted in laughter.

“How long?” Jeremy pressed.

“I lasted 20 seconds longer,” you gloated.

“Score!” Jeremy high fived you, and Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“I thought you promised not to share.”

“I promised no such thing.”

[seventhcallisto]

A PROMISE IS A SWEAR ! giom — chpt. 1

Synopsis. Matz gains a new district and a new member. The same member who trails a bunny to the den and introduces the beginning of obsession for the leaders.

Warnings. Violence. Physical harm. Und3rag3 tattooing. Teenagers(that needs it's own tw). Gang symbols. cigarett3 b3rn. Harm. And emotional harm and arguing. Please read giom masterlist before continuing.

Tuesday.

Positively, you were furious. After a not so nice call from a local man you know —your neighbor to be exact— you were mumbling up a storm. Excusing yourself through the last hour of your job just so you could catch a certain someone in the act.

With your work uniform on and a scowl on your face. Hiking up a hill through a run-down alleyway full of creeps and illegal activities. You finally caught sight of the person you'd been there to catch.

"Get off of me!" You snatched the teenager up by his arm, pinching him through his hoodie. "Jihoon, if you don't walk your skinny ass legs down this hill, I'll drag you," you stomped your heel clad foot, whisper yelling at the young man.

Jihoon was always causing problems, so threatening him like this was most likely not going to get him to listen. His face shriveled up. "You're not my mom!" He hissed back, equally furious - most likely due to the fact you had just pulled him from his group of boyfriends. Right in the middle of selling a pair of off branded shoes- and as soon as they saw you - pretended nothing was going on.

Irritation, through a false guise of shock, littered their faces as you tore and prodded the younger man away from his group of mis fit friends.

"Lee Jihoon," you whisper yelled to him this time, turning his body towards you. You take on the anger in his eyes with a frustrated scowl to clash. "Go and tell your friends you'll see them later, We're going home."

His face was turning red from embarrassment. But he knew you wouldn't back down, especially how stubborn he knows you to be. He smacked your palm off his jacket, huffing out a breath of air and turning towards the group he's with.

Within a few more seconds, he was storming past you. Hunched and full of anger as he made his way out of the entrance of the alleyway.

"Do you understand what you're doing, jihoon? It's illegal!" His footsteps rang loud on the wood of the apartment, ignoring your words- hardly bothering to take off his shoes at the entrance.

Before you could get out another frantic sentence out, he was turning his entire body your way, a snarl to his lips that resembled a dog. "What does it matter!? You're never home anyway! The cops can't pin shit on me-"

"Watch your mouth!" You yelled back, eyes widening. "I'm never home cause I am working! Don't you get that? These nice things you have- the school you go to! I have to pay for all of it somehow!" You gestured to his bedroom, posters and nick nacks littered about. "If I don't work, you can't have these things," your eyebrows furrowed. It was always so frustrating talking to him- with the exact copy of his mother's attitude.

He scoffed, "Whatever" he walked away from you, closing his door with a harsh slam.

These little outbursts would burn and simmer, like the crust on a volcano.

You stepped outside- to have a moment to yourself. Calming down from such a heightened situation- it wasn't good for you to let it bubble. But with jihoon- raising him, it was hard.

The silence of the evening gave you some peace of mind. And despite the situation of your day. You were beginning to feel relaxed, listening to the crickets and the distant sound of cars- cats- and the occasional dog barking.

"Tough day?" Changbin beckoned your attention, his large arms crossed over the balcony, you glanced to your door, having realized he heard everything.

"Yes- well, tough to my standards anyway." You laughed lightly, sighing. Changbin tilted his head at you, taking a long drag of his cigarette. "If it helps.. I know a lot of guys who went through this rebellious phase." he gestured to your apartment door, seemingly talking about jihoon. "They usually outgrow it, yknow, teenagers always act out. I know, I sure did."

You chortle at that. Palming your head as you looked out over the city, finally, you turned to meet changbins eyes, his presence having grown closer, right next to you on the railing. Comfortably, you sat with him for a second longer. "You? Rebellious?" You grinned. The fun- gentle man next to you, the one you've known for at least four years. And still have yet to properly get to know each other.

He laughed, his face scrunching. "What? Do I not seem rebellious enough?" He nudged your shoulder with his elbow, pouting. You laughed again. "No, no, I just wasn't expecting that, considering you're a -" You stopped short, remembering what jihoon had said earlier, you cleared your throat in the silence. He finished for you, glancing out to the city as well. "A cop?"

He leaned back over the railing with a sigh, nodding his head. "I heard that too. He's a bit cocky, considering he lives next to one." Changbin murmured. You shook your head, embarrassed on behalf of the teenager under your care. "I'm sorry-" "don't be. I gave my mom a hard time, too. He'll learn." The man shrugged off your apology, another drag of his cigarette, before he dabbed it out, fiddling with the end.

"But I'm not his mom. He has a reason to give me a hard time." You sighed heavily, letting the words flow before you cut them off, biting your lip. Changbin noticed, he's a keen man, a detailed man, it was a part of his job. He shook his head, twisting his body towards you.

Before he could come up with a sentence, you smiled gently. "Thanks for calling me, I hate when he does that" you groaned, remembering how upsetting it was to witness the young man attempt to brute force his way into getting another schoolmate to buy the pair of shoes they laid out.

Whatever jihoon had been doing wasn't legal. And you knew- you know. So, of course, changbin would know too - he was a cop after all, a detective to be exact, it was his job to notice these things. "Maybe a little juvie would do him some good," you sighed, a poor attempt at a joke- yet changbin still laughed heartily.

"If you need someone to scare the piss outta him, let me know, I've got a few people in mind." Changbin pocketed the end of his cigarette, bumping your elbow with his just as he left.

Wednesday. Always full of woe.

The downpour of rain filtered out the chatter of the company hongjoong was kept in. Barked laughter and forced smiles as the people around him conversed. The only person to take any interest in it was on his right. Seonghwa could make up excuses for the lack of attention his partner was providing. But the grin on the peak of hongjoongs cupids bow was driving Hwa wild with curiosity.

"What has you so happy?" The taller of the two murmured under his breath, his companion heard it - and with a clear of his throat, peaked over his glasses to the dark-haired man. "I'll tell you later"

Seonghwa sighed, bringing his glass of champagne to his lips. "Later couldn't come sooner," he replied with a sigh.

Hongjoong was in a better mood than he had been any other time of the week, with the stress that comes with a business- especially as big as this one- he could finally catch a breath of fresh air.

With one long sigh, the car door finally snapped shut, with seonghwa sitting right beside him.

"Where to?" Jongho, the leaders trusted men (and occasional driver) asked as he glanced through the rear view mirror, his brown hair framing his eyes. Hongjoongs smile perked up, seonghwa had noticed. "You know where jongho" hongjoong waved his question off with a smile, shrugging into his large fur coat.

Seonghwas attention turned back to the blonde seated next to him. "So? Where to?" Seonghwa copied jongho, questioning the shorter- yet beaming man. Hongjoong shifted in his seat, his grin faltering when his tongue poked his cheek. "You'll see." hongjoong kept the secret, seonghwa could argue– but it was typical of the younger to be so secretive sometimes.

Once the sleek black car had rolled to a stop. The evening had set, and finally, the moon was beginning to cast its beams across the streets. Seonghwa took notice of the passing buildings. Unease, unsure of the surroundings- matz hadn't stepped this far out of their comfort zone in a while unless there was a meeting. So the rural area, compared to the city, was a stark contrast to his scenery setting.

Practically bouncing out of his seat, hongjoong ushered seonghwa out of his own as soon as the fur covered man swung open his door. Of course- he was happy about something. And seonghwa was beginning to have a clue.

His eyebrow tilted up at the bubbly, shade wearing man- contrasting against seonghwa who was dressed in the best suit for the earlier occasion. He pocketed his hands, watching hongjoong with curious eyes.

In his right, hongjoong spun with the proudest grin on his face. Gesturing to the open area, a park, where seonghwa had recalled only ever passing by once- back when they were meeting with another acquaintance. Hongjoong beckoned the older man over, lacing his hands over a railing, with one other foot on the steps. He stood proudly over the peering hill, a grin still prominent on his face.

Ah. That's what it was. "You could have just told me," seonghwa mentioned with a sigh, running his hand over his hair and fixing any loose threads. Joong chuckled, "it wouldn't be special that way" he sighed, leaning on the railing- childishly, unable to sit still. Seonghwa laughed airily. "I suppose so, considering it's a wide district." Seonghwa murmured, taking his spot next to the blonde.

Hongjoong shifted his body towards the taller, still looking out over the railing at the quiet below. "It's ours now." Hongjoong whispered, almost unable to believe it himself- crime wasn't easy in this area, the cops were strict, which ended up with tight attitudes and unwilling participants.

But finally, hongjoong found a willing distributor, and he seemed permanent for the time being- until he could be replaced.

"I've got a few of them out here already, watching." Hongjoong gestures to four distinct areas, seonghwa perched his arms on the rail. Glittery lights catching every which way. He turned his attention back to the ecstatic man. "And who's watching them?" He hummed.

There was hardly any trust for the underlings, not to say they weren't loyal to the cause, just that they were easily swayed and amateurs, so of course, seonghwa had to ask.

"Mingi"

Seonghwa took in a hiss of breath, the most loyal of all- a little clumsy though. Hongjoong could sense seonghwas thought. "This one is his. He practically begged for it." Joong sniffled a laugh, recalling the plead of the other member. "He said he could take care of it."

There was a silence for a moment before seonghwa spoke up.

"Do you trust him?" He asked. Hongjoong tilted his head, sliding his glasses to lay on the top of his head. He turned his face towards seonghwa for the first time during their conversation, and nodded.

"I trust you, don't I?" Hongjoong answered.

Thursday.

The following day was just as bad as you thought. Things may seem easier the next morning. But jihoon had still ignored you, even as you prepared him a breakfast along with his fresh uniform. A scowl on his pouty- still childish face. It made you want to turn in and wave the white flag.

So, when you sit at the empty kitchen table, staring at the packaged food –that had been coldly left behind– and reminiscing on how you could hardly get the same treatment from your parents growing up, do you begin to feel the ache of missing your best friend.

You couldn't dwell on it. Not when you had work.

Jihoon is as difficult as his mother. Purgatory thoughts playing in your mind over and over. Although your best friend Lia wasn't shy from being mean - borderline - a bully, she was still loyal and caring, and she loved jihoon. She would have had the best lines to say and tell; to convince him to get his act straight. But she wasn't here. And as his godmother, you had the responsibility to play mommy.

You really wished she was here. She'd know how to take care of these things. You've always been the softer one in the duo.

It's past 12, and you have an early shift tomorrow. You sit at the kitchen table, dazed and daydreaming as you wait. When you think over what could be happening, bile rises in your stomach. Jihoon hasn't returned home, and his phone is apparently off. He has been gone for hours. More so than usual.

What can you even do?

The front door is quietly unlocked in the silence.

You spring from the kitchen chair, watching the door be pushed in, followed by a hooded figure who doesn't bother to flicker on any of the lights.

Your hands are spinning him around the next second, although jihoon is taller than you- the veracity of your movement tugs him to face you.

You pull the hood down next, glaring his bruised face in-between broken orbs and clenched teeth, looking at the fresh cuts along his lip and nose. "Where have you been?" You say, as calmly as you can muster. Jihoons shoulders fall. "Out," he mustered, shrugging his shoulder past you to pull off his jacket.

You pull him back by his upper arm before he can go any farther. He winces but makes no move to push you off. His head is tilted towards the floor, and his breathing is labored - tired from whatever activity he had just gotten up to.

"Jihoon, your mom wouldn't want this -" his hand snakes out of your grasp as if you burnt him. "What did you just say?" He scoffs, clicking his tongue. You don't falter. "Yo-" "No, no, you don't get to do that. You don't get to use that against me cause I don't even know what she was like." You go to cut him off. "You know that's not true-"

His foot meets the stool as he kicks it frustrated, a silent curse coming from his mouth.

"I don't know if anything you say is true, I don't even know if you're really someone she'd leave me with to take care of. It's all just bullshit anyway, right?" His snarky tone wavers, his throat pinching close the longer he stays on this subject.

"I'm going to bed" he brushes you off once more when you attempt to reach out.

And you have the same lump in your throat. You don't know what to say yourself. You don't know how to fix this. You don't know what you're doing.

Friday.

Halfway through your shift, do you get another dreadful call- voice-mail this time, since you can't answer your phone during school hours. On the other end is changbin- but this time, he's just dropping information off for you.

"Hey y/n, I'm sorry to be telling you this, but -" he takes a heavy sigh, "one of my colleagues told me about seeing a kid similar to jihoon.. coming from this new operation we're in the middle of. It's a big nightclub - full of colors - hell, you can see it from a mile away, so just ask around. It just got up and running, we - don't tell anyone I said this - but we're looking at charges if he happens to be caught in there. It's not safe for him. that's all. Call me when you get this- we can go together. Do not go on your own. I'll talk to you later."

The end of Friday is full of dread. The streets are full of characters for the night. Fools and drunks and corner girls and the occasional normal group of friends, no matter who it is- you ask.

"The club full of bright lights?"

A man finally repeats your question. He's not entirely sober, nor is he blackout either. He points over his shoulder, giving lazy directions. But as you go, you thank him. Changbin was right. You couldn't miss it from a mile now that you were in a neighboring alleyway- heaving from having run everywhere to find this place.

The front is guarded with men in jackets, smoking cigarettes, and scaring the stragglers who stare a little longer than they should.

You power through, attempting to blend in with a crowd of rowdy girls who are easily let in- You're stopped by the collar of your shirt, pulled out of it and faced to face with a scarred man, eyeing you up and down.

"Are you trying to sneak in? Hey, why didn't you just ask to be let in? What kind of shit are ya trying to pull?" His heavy palm smacks your cheek, pat pat, your skin reverbs from the tiny hits- its a slap to your pride in a way. You scowl at the stranger.

"Theres someone in there I need to get" you defend yourself, pushing the man off your collar. His snarky grin drops into a scowl, the cigarette dangling from the corner of his lip dangerously. "I'm not buying that princess." The man flicks the ash your way, glancing to the other man on the door.

Your appearance is a contrast to everyone else. Your in your best dress for parent-teacher day, having cut it short to find jihoon. You stick out like a sore thumb. Fuck. You're really not getting past this guy.

You had to do something.

"He's underage! He's a kid, a kid shouldnt be in there- If I can't go in and get him- I'm gonna call the cops!" You're making a scene now- you're panicking, you have no idea if jihoon is okay, no idea whether or not he's doing drugs or getting himself hurt.

You're scared for him. But the glance in both of the men's eyes is your top worry. Threats about the cops coming around seems to gather attention, onlookers glancing your way and beginning to crowd the front door. "Cops?" The first man laughs, snatching your arm up with an icy grip that has you hissing in pain. "Are you threatening us? Ma'am, that's not proper. We're running a business here." His tone is attempting to be lighthearted, but the danger behind his grip and smile is driving the breath out of your lungs.

You're dragged inside by the same guy, the lights, the music- everything screams danger with this situation, not only that but the faces- the troubled people around here is nothing safe. You catch glimpses of people snorting different color substances off each table, tiny shiny and distinct pills littered around. Smoke and the burning smell of cigarettes- and something else, something heavy and damp, funky smelling. Earthy. You body makes contact with the door to a room and you're pushed into it abruptly.

Your feet stumble forward towards the middle of the room, where you finally find your balance. Cards are placed on a wide and round glass table and this place smells the worse of the earthy smoke, it clings to every surface, making you cough. When you do, the man in the center of the red velvet couch in front of you peaks up over his glasses.

His hair is white- silver almost, long enough to tuck behind his ears. He gestures with a ringed finger to the man with you to speak.

"She's threatening to talk to the cops."

"She a regular?"

"No, never seen her around here before"

The silver haired man takes a heavy sigh,, he parts from the woman and men around him to meet you face to face. He's tall- intimidating. His height is no joke. He scans you up and down with dark eyes. Emotions you can't grasp on his features.

Whoever the people are, they aren't bothering to look your way, quiet and head down. Sheep's amongst a wolf. He's obviously in charge here. "Look- I don't know who you are but you have kids in here- this isn't a place they should be-"

The flicker of a lighter sounds through the quiet room. The sound of music muffled behind the door gaurded by the man and another. You watch the silver haired stranger take a drag of a cigarette after flipping his lighter closed, the red pulse of light igniting in front of you, it silences you quickly.

"Listen." He starts with a hum, nodding his head as the smoke hits your face, he takes your hand in his, gently patting his large, calloused fingers over yours. You hesitate to let him have it, unsure of his motive. "I understand your concern, but we don't have kids here sweetheart, we don't allow that. Youth is important to our future, right? Isn't that what everyone thinks?" He glances around shortly, switching out the hand holding the cigarette to cage your palm in-between. You can feel the heat of it, see the ash starting to form at the top.

"That's not true." You whisper. His eyes squint. "You calling me a liar?" He murmurs, stepping closer.

"I'm calling bullshit" you hold your head high.

It's silent. Air so tense and thick, you can't tell if it's the smoke or the feeling lingering in your chest. But this man, he's not safe. None of this is. And you're really testing your luck here. "I need-" you start again. But the sudden burn of specks on the back of your hand makes you whimper in pain, attempting to draw back your limb from the man.

He holds it tightly in his, flicking ash onto the back of it, the sting makes you hiss, before he brings the cigarette back to his full lips, your fingers pale from the force.

He takes a drag, blowing it in your face once again.

"I don't like being called a liar." He pouts into his words, dusting the ash across your skin with his thumb, a warning at most. But it stings slightly when he flips your palm over to examine the lines.

"You come in here and threaten my place, I've only been nice to you this entire time." He holds his free hand over his heart. "What do you want exactly, sweetheart?" He squints down at you. The nickname makes your stomach lurch uncomfortably.

"I told the guy at the front. There's someone in here i need-" "and who is that someone?" You go quiet, squinting up your nose at him. He stares back for the next seconds. One.. two.. three-

There's the stinging burn to your palm, it aches and you screech in pain. Attempting to bring your hand back from the heat. A cigarette that is searing into the soft skin in the middle of your palm. You wail at it, a pain so uncomfortable you forgot it even felt real. The ash darkens when he puts it out. Smearing it across your palm. His eyes are unlike what you've seen, no remorse or mercy, just evil.

"I'm not going to ask again. Giving me attitude when I've been sweet-" "i-im not please-" you beg, anything to stop the pain and sting on your palm, to get the man before you to stop before he does something else, something worse. "Shh, quiet, I'm talking." he pats his palm over the open wound. You whimper once more, tears welling in your eyes. It hurts.

Before his lips fall open again. The door behind you swings open.

It's the other man from the front door. Followed by.. a few individuals, you can hardly see with the blur in your eyes.

"Raeun?" The second man to walk through questions. He's taller- his body adorned in what seems to be the closest thing to a suit. A pair of glasses and short- almost buzzcut black and blonde hair. Raeun- the man who grips your palm looses his grip, and you pull it as quickly as you can to your chest.

"Mingi" he huffs. "Come to join so soon?" He laughs, glancing to you. The man, from towards the entrance does the same. "Yeah, Came as soon as I got the go ahead" mingi replies plainly, walking further into the room. "Leave" he gestures to the people across the couch.

An array of limbs and people pass you, but- when you turn to leave, you're stopped by him. "You, stay." Mingi swings his finger out to call you over to him. Gesturing to the couch.

You really don't know what's going on. But mingi is gentle as he grabs your palm, glancing for approval- you don't respond.

"Seonghwa said no more burns, whats this then?" Mingi tilts the wound towards raeun. The same man scoffs. "She said she was gonna call the cops." "And you think this was gonna stop her?" Mingi groans, letting your hand go. You cradle it back to your chest, watching the tall man step up to raeun.

"Get your shit and go, you're out" mingi turns on his heel, stepping back out of the silver man's way to let him leave. Raeun scoffs loudly, "you can't kick me out of here, I made this place what it is-"

"Yeah and where did that lead you?" Mingi waves his hand out to the club. Raeuns face drops even further into anger. "Fuck- is this about her? We can just pay the bitch off-"

"Raeun" mingi hisses his name. The tension could be cut with a knife and you try everything to make yourself smaller in it. "Get. Out." Mingi points to the door.

Raeuns fit seems to cease, a smile creeping up his skinny features. "Oh, you got the position didn't you? The captain finally gave you something huh?" Raeun laughs loudly, holding his stomach that pokes out of a silky cheetah print shirt.

"Which means you're out." Mingi confirms. "Go." He says once more, it's a threat, the tone speaks for itself. Raeun doesn't bother once more, kicking the door open on his way out.

Your heart drops when the door slams shut behind him. Your labored breath calming to accommodate the quiet in the room. Mingi heaves a heavy sigh, taking a seat on the far side of the couch. His hand rakes through his messy hair, parting the spikes to docile them down. With a single hand in his hair and another reaching out for a glass- presumably full of whiskey, mingi finally glances your way.

You're a shaking aching mess, it doesn't take a genius to notice you're not for this lifestyle. You're dressed like a librarian in the midst of a nightclub for fuck's sake. Your palm is clutched tightly, as if you're attempting to squeeze the pain away. Your eyebrows are knitted and you're curled into yourself. Lost in thought.

"What are you doing here?" Mingi breaks the silence. You jump, turning your head his way.

"I'm looking for someone." You quietly answer. Mingi nods, lifting the whiskey to his lips. "Who?" He asks before he takes a gulp of the alcohol. "A boy, his- he goes by jihoon, he's five-eight- probably taller now- i - we haven't checked in a bit, he's got messy an-and curly black hair- it, well.. he hasn't let me trim it in a while and-" your rambles encourages a bubble in your throat, a sob beginning to form.

You could have gotten hurt worse, you still can, you could die here, you could be trafficked, mingi seems capable of it if he was able to test someone like raeun. And now the only thoughts in your mind are how you wish jihoon hadn't been mad, how you wish he could know you love him- in case you do happen to die, or end up missing. How the last thing you did with him was argue.

Your throat closes in when an image of the younger version of the boy shows up in your minds eye. The sob breaks out "he's just a kid, he's all i got- I'm all he's got, I don't want him here, please" you beg, for his sake, more than yours- mingi is so quiet, his aura is scary, he's not like anyone you've ever met before.

"Hey," he calls softly, your face twisting to see his. His eyes have caved, soft and understanding, his eyebrows furrowing. "I'm going to go get your boy, and you're not coming back. You hear me?"

Mingi makes his statement clear just as he gets up to leave.

The breath lodged in your throat exits as you nod. The dull ache of your hand plays at the back of your mind - finally, you'll be able to see jihoon, and you'll both leave.

You'll leave. Together.

There's no windows in this room. There is no light besides the TV in the corner. It flickers with a show you don't know, a familiar actor beating down on multiple men. Your eyes are blurry - and you wonder if you happen to have a first aid kit at home, possibly - if you haven't used all of the content on jihoon from his many fights and bruises. It feels like an eternity while you wait, hoping for light in the darkness.

You hope jihoons okay.

Your hope is answered when the door once again swings open. Mingi is holding jihoon by the scruff of his neck, pushing him into the room, but he sidesteps out of the way to let someone else in.

The cast of the club lights create a halo around the man, the beads of the entrance jingle when he steps inside, like crystals, the light bounces off every inch of the glass beads, illuminating the man in the fur coat from behind.

His hair is a vibrant blue, His nose has a define point, his lips are naturally plump- He's pretty. Which is a surprise. And you thought Raeun was the boss. No.. it's this man. With his cream colored fur coat and his tight leather jeans, a buckle with a silver star to top it off and a sheer black and white top. His shoes are leather, reptilian in design. A pair of dark glasses slotted against his forehead when he pushed them up. Your eyes meet.

It's dangerous. He's dangerous. Everything screaming. This is the type of man you'd see on TV, draped in luxurious brands and with a snarky attitude to come with it, a past- and scars along his figure, fuck- this guy is no good. He's a snake in man's skin. A wolf in sheep's clothing. And you can tell.

"Mingi" his eyes never stray from yours, as if stalking prey, his voice is light and inviting. Mingi glances his way, then yours with a silent response to the man "captain." He pushes jihoon forward and drags the hilt of his shirt up. You stand- to protest, to tell them don't touch him.

But the ink along jihoons skin is a sign of surprise. Of fear to your racing heart.

"Your boy here," the captain pats the young boy on his shoulder, jihoon grimaces, head down turned. "Has our symbol, he has the mark of ateez, and that means he won't be leaving anytime soon."

The lines of an 'A' are sharp, a circle to encase it, it spans almost the entirety of jihoons left pec. It's fresh ink. your stomach churns and twists. You think you're going to be sick.

"Jihoon is one of ours now." He finishes, clicking his tongue.

"Jihoon?" You quietly call. For him to say it's a joke, a sick one- but his face remains the same. Furrowed and ashamed.

Tears well up in your eyes once again. You've failed - failed as a guardian and failed your best friend. You failed the little boy you were given, and you've failed his father and future.

"Please. Please- okay- he's a child- he's only fourteen!" You plead with the man, slipping to your knees, desperate as you are- you're willing to do anything to prevent jihoon from throwing away his future.

The captains' fingers hold a coin- something you haven't seen before then. The men peer back at you in the dark of the room. "I-" "the ink is already there." He nudges jihoons left side, the boy groans in pain, most definitely sore.

"There's no changing that," he nods towards you, flicking the younger boy's cheek. His eyes are demeaning when he stares down at your figure. This all seems like a joke to him. With one final glance to your shaking body, the vibrant haired man turns away towards the door.

"Please. I'll do anything." You beg.

His steps falter. The coin makes contact with the metal of his rings as he plays with it. It dings every so often, like a clock in the silence over and over.

Clink, clink, clink, clink- ...

"Don't make promises you can't keep." You can hear the perk to the man's voice, a smile through his tone. "I can keep it." You confirm without another beat, gulping back your tongue.

"I can keep my promises."

"I swear on my heart."

[pearl-nouveau]

A Woman's Purpose - Cregan Stark x Reader [chapter two]

summary: After your grandsire's death, you fly to Winterfell with Jacaerys and find yourself nervous to treat with Cregan years after your heated moment together.

warnings: none i think

a/n: short chapter, just felt like a good stopping point. anyone want part three,,,?🤗

The actions of Alicent and her eldest son did not shock me, but they deeply wounded a sense of hope that I hadn't realized was still deep within my soul. I would always remember Cregan praising my kind heart, but sometimes it felt like a curse. I had believed at my core that our family could find it within themselves to forgive, to come together, to support my grandsire's wishes and put a woman on the Iron Throne... I had believed that Alicent had a spine, that Aemond had humility, that Aegon had a heart. And Heleana, my poor, dear aunt whom I considered a close friend - it pained me to think of her caught in the center of such a mess. I longed to see her and I longed to see my mother on her throne. 

I thought back to the dinner we had before leaving for Dragonstone again. We had been merry, since Jaecerys and Lucerys were newly engaged. I was happy for Jace especially since we had talked so often of hoping for happy marriages, and Baela was a wonderful girl who he already adored. It pleased me that there was a possibility for love between the two of them. 

Aegon had drunkenly wandered to my seat and leaned towards my ear. 

"Poor niece... Your only purpose to be married off and still yet to be engaged. You'll be running out of options soon." 

His amusement sickened me and I continued to pick at my food, trying to ignore him, but he continued. 

"If you don't pick you'll end up with some elderly lord with a thumb for a pecker. Best swallow your pride and pick someone to claim you. Can't be your own woman forever, girl." His breath reeked of alcohol. 

Jacaerys had noticed his advances and stood to intervene, only for Aegon to direct his attention towards Baela, which began a whole other mess leading to the night quickly unraveling. 

It had made you think about marriage, not only as a duty, but as a tool. It had always been an important fixture in politics, but after everything that has happened with the throne, I knew that it would be even more urgent for me to take a husband. I lay in my bed at Dragonstone, resting my eyes, considering the current predicament of betrothal.

When it came down to it, there was no one I wanted to imagine myself marrying except for the Northern man who had captured my heart so many years ago. I feared, however, that it was too late. I had already refused him, in a way, one time. In addition, I had humiliated myself with his advances and then fled. He very well may hate me; find me to be a tease, a whore. I shuddered to think about it. 

At that moment, Jacaerys barged into my room. 

"Sister," breathlessly he addressed me, "mother has requested us to go to Winterfell and treat with Cregan Stark." 

There was a hint of a smile on his face, although we both knew the task was serious. I had no immediate response to him, so he elaborated.

"I suggested that you come. I believe you should see him. Besides, it is the perfect excuse to go."

I turned away, suddenly emotional. I wiped at my face. "Perhaps he has already taken a new wife," I shook my head. "We only need one representative of the crown."

"You're coming," He said finally. I realized it was no longer a request, but an order.

"Does mother know?"

He shook his head. "This is for you to figure out. No interferences." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Except for mine, right now. I would hope that if we are to enter the Hell of war we can find at least some happiness within the chaos."

His words made me want to weep, realizing how much he has grown and how much more he will have to in the coming years. How much all my siblings would grow. I feared for the lives of my loved ones. Instinctively, I reached for my brother and pulled him to me. He hugged me back tightly. 

"It'll all be okay, little dragon," his old nickname for me made me chuckle into his shoulder, "tomorrow, we ride for Winterfell."

That night, I dreamt of Cregan. Brief, hazy glimpses of moments we shared in the past. Moments that made me fall in love with him. 

I saw him poised in front of Vermithor, no fear in those stormy eyes, his hand outstretched to stroke my beautiful dragon's scaled face. He had respected the authority of my beast, and Vemithor in turn had leaned into the Lord's touch. That moment had brought heat to my stomach and tugged at my insides. The Bronze Fury was not easy to befriend. 

I saw him across the altar in the sept where I took him on a tour, his head bent in prayer, dark hair framing his face. He had caught my eye and held it, unblinking, keeping it until I looked away.

I saw in the golden hour in the training yard, his gaze finding me between every attack. He moved like ice against his sparring partners: cold, calculated, hardened. No one bested him. When we walked to dinner together afterward, he walked behind me, and I had suddenly felt a tug at my hair. He gently pulled the ribbon holding my braid together - a braid commanded by my mother - letting my hair fall down my back. I like it down like this, he told me, wild and free, like you. 

Morning was unwelcome because it ripped me from the warmth of my dreams with him, but the realization that I was soon to be headed for Winterfell thrilled me. I quickly dressed and packed with my handmaidens before finding Jacaerys in the hallway. He said nothing, grasping my hand and nodding solemnly. We moved to the dragon pit together and prepared Vermax and Vermithor. When we exited the cave, I saw my mother and younger siblings watching on from above. 

"We should say our goodbyes," I told Jacaerys, "the Gods only know when the next time we will all be together is."

Jace nodded, and we joined with the rest of our family. I kissed each of the little ones on the forehead, pinched their cheeks, sniffed their baby skin, making every attempt to remember them as they were in case I was struck from the back of my dragon. Lucerys stood tall when I came to him, like the proud little fighter he was, and I gave him a tight hug and a squeeze of luck for his own journey. I worried for him dearly, but Lucerys was perhaps the most smart and capable of us Valeryen children, even at his young age.

"Good luck, raqiarzy," I spoke into his hair. He was nearly as tall as me at that point. "I shall see you soon."

My mother gazed at me with that look she always wore as I moved to stand in front of her. So diplomatic, so very regal. Sometimes I wished she would soften and just be my mother for a moment. But now, finally involved in diplomacy, who was I to her? Still her daughter, or some cancerous growth jeopardizing her claim?

I felt her arms around me. "Be safe," she whispered into my ear, "I love you, my daughter."

Tears filled my eyes and I hugged her back. I thought about all of our fights about my marriage. Who was I truly fighting? We were both shackled by tradition, still, I realized. Her claim had been an abstract future and now it had all come crashing down. She was still fighting the same battles against men that she believed to have won as a girl my own age. None of our past disagreements mattered now. Happiness and freedom were no longer mine to take for myself; they may be ripped from us all at any moment. 

My mother and I separated and she placed a kiss to my brow. Her stoic demeanor had faded and I could see wetness in her eyes. Jace offered me his arm and I reluctantly took it, turning away from my family and trying not to think about our uncertain future. 

The journey to Winterfell was long and cold, as many journeys on dragonback are, but I was comforted by the presence of Vermax and Jacaerys gliding back and forth below me. Our dragons, very different in size, flew quite differently. Vermax was nimble and slight, disappearing between clouds and darting in and out of sight easily. A formidable stealth opponent. Vermithor, on the other hand, was enormous and flew with simple, powerful strokes of his golden wings. He was fearsome, and I found him to be the most beautiful creature in the world. As terrifying as he was, our bond was strong. He never raised a tone at me; he grumbled and purred in my presence only, and awaited orders with undying loyalty. He had been my dragon since the time I was ten and four, and our relationship only strengthened by the day. 

The sky greyed as we flew further North and the air began to chill. I shivered not only from the cold but the impending reunion I was to have with Cregan. I had no idea what to expect. I had considered opening his letter but it was still too frightening to me. It left me even more unprepared for a conversation with him. 

When we reached Winterfell, Jacaerys and I circled Vermax and Vermithor a few times to signal our landing. We made no sudden moves towards the castle and its surrounding fortress, and landed in an isolated field. The wind whipped my long hair out from the veil I had tied around my head. It floated around my head like a halo as I squinted in the heatless sunlight. 

"Someone rides this way," Jacaerys called from the back of Vermax. He began to disembark and I glanced over to where he looked. A rider on a black horse, eighteen hands tall, came galloping towards our dragons. Vermithor let out a roar of distaste. He didn't like people coming near him - or me. I calmed him with coos in High Valerian and began to slide down his wing. The rider had stopped next to Jace and gotten off the horse.

As I crept closer, I knew it was Cregan. His stature was unmistakable. Tall and dominating against the bleak horizon in his furs. Gods, I had never seen him in his heavy Northern furs. It made me want to crawl within them, to feel the heat of his body around me. Coming closer, I saw him clap Jace on the shoulder with familiarity, and then turn his gaze to me. With no hesitation, he came towards me. I saw behind him Jace getting onto his horse, the ghost of a brotherly smirk on his face, and kicking the horse forward towards Winterfell. 

"What-" I began to question as Cregan came within arm's length of me, unable to finish as he pulled me to his chest in a tight hug. The furs were just as warm as they looked, and I melted into his arms. It had been so long since I smelled him. Like sap and smoke and ale and somehow roses. My arms snaked under the cloak and I could feel the hardened muscle of his body through his shirt. And then I realized - he was hugging me, as if he missed me, as if...

"I've missed you, my princess." He spoke into my hair. 

"You aren't angry with me?" I breathed into his cloak. He pulled back and took my chin in his calloused fingers, his face laced with confusion.

"How could I ever, my girl? You didn't read my letter?"

I flushed. "I was embarrassed. I thought you would have wanted me to keep quiet after I... lost control like that." He barked out a laugh, which would have made her feel ashamed had he not paired it with a gentle kiss to her cheekbone.

"I'll show you what losing control really is, someday," he kissed her cheek again and hummed. "Darling, I wrote you that letter and apologized for leaving so quickly... had it been up to me I would have stayed until you chose to see me again and asked for your hand right there. I had to get home to my son and my duties here but you have never left my head." Now it was his turn to flush as he recounted the contents of his letter. "I... I had begged you to someday consider me to be your husband if you ever found that marriage was something you wanted. None of my advisors could convince me to take another wife until I knew that there was no chance. I have held out hope for years, I have taken no other lover, and I beg you to end my agony and provide an answer," he dropped to his knee as if his body were giving out on him. "Is there a chance? Someday, that you would allow me to love you as I already do?"

It all became clear to me that my world was soon to fall apart, and standing in front of me was a man who was promising to stand by my side in the worst of times. As my family is torn apart and our power in the realm shattered. A smile crossed my face.

"You mean to tell me that the most eligible Northern Lord has been withholding his services from the ladies of the North, all because a faraway dragon rider was stuck in his dreams?" 

My teasing lilt was enough for him to look up at me and grin, standing to his full height towering over me. He grasped at my waist with one hand and cupped my face with the other. 

"They've been left wanting, I suppose." My Lord Stark said contemplatively. 

"As have ladies in the South." I told him, surprised by my own boldness and pleased by the delivery. 

He wasted no more time in capturing my lips, kissing me as if he were starved. He kept taking breaths to stare at me before continuing. His lips moved lovingly across my neck, my jaw, my throat, hungry to taste every inch of skin. After a while, I pressed against his chest and examined his face. It was even more beautiful up close than I remembered. His face an oval with hardened edges. Strong brows and thick pink lips that I was free to kiss. His hair pulled back haphazardly to keep from blowing in the wind. He kissed me one more time, this one softer than baby's breath, and held my head in one of his strong hands before nodding towards Winterfell in the distance.

"I let Jacaerys take my steed so we might walk together." He gestured back to the dragons. "Whatever they eat I will have brought to them."

"They'll eat anything. Even you," I poked his chest. 

"You just tell me if Vermithor ever starts feeling jealous. I shall begin to steer clear." 

We walked together, slowly, catching up after the last couple of years. I asked of his son and he told me that Rickon was nearly three years old. He stopped me for a moment. "I've already an heir. If we wed, I shall not force you to bear my children. You will never be just the mother of my children. You will be my wife." 

I smiled at that, saying nothing. Children hadn't crossed my mind. I supposed I was not ready to think about it. The way he spoke so definitely about our marriage gave me pause. 

"Cregan, I-" my words faltered, but I persisted. "I think you ought to know that I didn't come here just to see you." 

He chuckled. "I figured as such when you brought your brother and two dragons."

I blushed. "We need you and your army to stand by my mother. My uncle has taken her throne. My grandsire's crown was scarcely off his head before Aegon took it. My mother raises an army to stand against him. I am not a bargaining tool, I will not marry you for an army-"

"-I would never presume to trade you like an animal. The North will see your mother, the rightful queen, on her throne, you have my word. I want to marry you because I fell in love with you in King's Landing those years ago, and I wish for you to be free as you want to be. If marrying me is not how you will find your freedom, I will accept your answer." The concept seemed to pain him. 

Would marriage truly shackle me? Being with Cregan felt like being on dragonback for the first time. It felt like gliding over a lake of glass water, your arms outstretched. I had fought and fought for so many years to be free, but free from what? I now saw in front of me a new kind of freedom, away from the clawing hands that surrounded the crown always. I saw a man who chose me and respected my happiness. I looked around at the rolling hills and distant mountains. The cool wind on my face. Bustling people entering and exiting the gates of Winterfell. Perhaps I imagined it, but I heard laughter. Children. I closed my eyes for a moment and felt peace.

I opened them again to see the hopeful face of Cregan Stark awaiting my words. If what he said was true, would he remain here in front of me for the rest of my life, always waiting to grant my next wish?

I smiled. Reached out to him. Snaked my hands around his neck, brought his face close to mine. 

"I choose me," I told him quietly. "So, I choose you."

We sealed the betrothal with a kiss. 

[joelscruff]

hi cat! not sure if ur taking requests but i have a small idea for bf’s dad!joel .. maybe joel giving reader a facial after she’s feeling insecure abt her bf not giving her enough attn so he shows her that all he needs is her face to finish

prove it (boyfriend's dad!joel x f!reader) 18+

tysm for the yummy request, anon!! i've decided to combine this request with another one i got the other day: "ok bear with me but what if boyfriends dad joel came in reader and then her bf wants to have sex and sees that she still has his come inside her??? i'm going to hell." i did tweak the second request a bit (sorry!!!) but the general idea is the same. this takes place in the same universe as quickie & snack break except this one definitely has a bit more plot. summary: joel shows you how much he cares about you (in a slightly depraved way) rating: 18+ explicit (mdni) warnings: daddy!kink, dirty talk, praise kink, facials, comeplay, oral (f receiving), voyeurism word count: 2.6k (woops)

"i'm so sick of him," tears are streaming down your face as you push joel's home office door open, stomping inside and slamming it behind you. he looks up from where he's sitting at his desk, poring over blueprints for some contracting job he's got coming up, a job that's been taking up all his time as of late.

"angel, what are you doin' here?" he stands up immediately, brow furrowed in concern as he opens his arms to you, "c'mere, what's wrong?"

"why am i even with him?" you groan, head coming to rest against his chest as his arms wrap around you and hold you close, "i don't even like him."

"what'd he do?" joel murmurs against your hair, stroking your back soothingly, "he hurt you?"

"he's just an asshole," you sniffle pathetically against his button down, "i try to be close to him and he just pushes me away, just wants to play his stupid games and pretend i don't exist."

"babygirl, i'm so sorry," he whispers, "what can i do?"

"just wanted to be near you," you sniff, "i only want you, i don't want him anymore."

you feel him tense a bit, tightening his grip around you, "are you gonna break up with him?"

you're not sure what to say, just cry harder into his shirt and revel in the way his arms tighten around you, keeping you safe and soothed. you both know that a breakup has been inevitable for a while, but you're both also aware of the way it'll affect the relationship the two of you share. you won't have an excuse to be at his house anymore, to sneak into his office and have your private moments. you'll have to start meeting in secret, in public. you've been putting it off for as long as you can.

"i don't wanna think about that right now," you whisper shakily, "i just wanted to feel like someone gave a shit about me."

"babygirl," he whispers, bringing his hand up to touch your chin and pull your face up to look at him, peering softly at you with his deep brown eyes, "i give a shit about you, i always will."

"but i've barely seen you lately," you figure you might as well tell him what's on your mind now that you're already baring your emotions to him, "you've been so busy with work. you haven't even kissed me in two weeks."

"two weeks?" his brow furrows again, "baby, i'm sorry. i didn't realize it'd been that long. c'mere," he leans down and kisses you softly, lips capturing yours in that quiet and secret way he reserves only for you, tender and gentle. you kiss back with fervor, tasting him on your tongue, relishing in the feeling of having him to yourself again.

"what do you need, sweetheart?" he whispers against your lips, "need to sit in my lap for a bit? need me to fuck you? just say the word, i'll give it you."

"just wanna know that you still care," your eyes still sting with tears despite the immense comfort you feel from being at his mercy once again, "you still want me, don't you, daddy?"

"yes, baby," he pulls back to look at you intensely, expression set in a sincere expression, "i want you all the time. i swear."

"prove it," you repeat, "show me."

his eyes darken then, throat bobbing as he nods and drops his arms from around you, "take off my belt, babygirl."

you do as you're told, pulling the belt from its loops and tossing it to the floor. you unzip his jeans and he helps you pull them down. you can already see the outline of his cock through his underwear, eyes widening when you see how hard he already is.

"you see that? that's what you did to me the second you came in my office," he breathes, and you feel his hand settle gently on your shoulder, thumb stroking the bare skin of your neck, "that's all for you, only you."

you reach forward and palm him through his underwear, staring at the large bulge and swallowing when it twitches under your fingers, pulses. you stroke him slowly, still inhaling and exhaling deeply to stop your tears.

"mine," you whisper, squeezing his girth gently. you make quick work of pulling his cock from the confines of the fabric, salivating immediately when you see that he's already at his full size, throbbing and leaking profusely. your lips part and he leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead.

"yours," he replies, "you're so beautiful, baby, can't help but get hard just from seein' you, huggin' you," he pulls back and gives you one of his special kisses, directly on the tip of your nose. you can't help but smile, warmth flooding your chest, "get on your knees, babygirl."

you kneel before him, peering up at him from your teary lashes as he strokes his hard cock a few times, the tip ghosting lightly against your lips. you open your mouth for him, silently urging him to slip inside. he shakes his head.

"i wanna show you how crazy you make me, baby," he breathes, stroking a bit faster, "wanna show you fast i can come just from looking at that pretty face."

you look up at him in awe, mouth closing and tears stinging your eyes again as you watch him come undone with just a few strokes, staring directly into your eyes.

"watch daddy's cock," he whispers, "see how bad i want you, baby? see how hard you make me?"

you bite down on your lip, watching his hand stroke his length up and down over and over again, pulsating and throbbing in his fist. the wide tip continues to drool over his fingers, onto the floor. your pussy is already starting to soak your underwear at the mere sight of joel losing himself like this.

"gimme your come, daddy," you mewl, face scrunching with desire as you look back up at his face and watch him come apart.

"could never say no to you, babygirl," he groans, and with one final stroke he finishes, cock bobbing pornographically in his hand as he aims the sticky tip at your face and releases his come all over your lips, your cheeks, your chin. you even feel some spurt against your forehead, dripping down the bridge of your nose. your eyes close involuntarily, focused entirely on the feeling of his warm release covering every inch of your face.

you stay kneeling on the floor with your eyes closed, breathing in and out slowly. you hear him tug his zipper back up and then he's helping you stand, leading you over to the couch in the corner of the room. you open your eyes again when you feel him crouch between your legs, pulling down your shorts and panties in one strong tug.

"what are you-"

he interrupts your query when he ducks his head between your thighs, places his mouth on your clit and begins to suck. you let out an obscene moan, tossing your head back as your hands find a place in his hair. you tug on his greying locks as he licks and sucks your pussy relentlessly, barely coming up for air as he devours you.

"oh fuck," you whimper, and you look down just in time to see him peering up at you through hooded and hazy eyes, drunk on his orgasm and your pussy, "joel, oh my god."

he pulls back for a moment, smirking deliciously, "you know better than to call me joel, sweetheart" he licks a stripe up your center, sloppy and loud, "who am i?"

"daddy," you say, voice wrecked as you grip the couch cushions for support, "you're my daddy."

"good girl," he murmurs, then sucks your clit into his mouth with no hesitation, smiles against your heat when you begin to shake and writhe with your orgasm. your eyes shut tightly and you're vaguely aware of a drop of joel's come sliding down your eyelash to your cheek, reminding you that his release is still all over your face.

"love treating my babygirl like the princess she is," he whispers as he stands up from between your legs and inches in beside you on the couch, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you in close, "covered in daddy's come, pussy all swollen and satisfied, just what you deserve."

you hum in agreement, body lax against his on the couch. you feel him swipe a finger across your face, clearing up some of his release. you whimper when you feel him bring his fingers to your pulsing pussy, pushing his come inside of you and placing his hand over your hole to keep it in.

"this is mine," he murmurs, thumbing your clit gently, "you're mine. no one else's."

"i'm yours, daddy," you whimper, eyes still closed as joel swipes another fingerful of come off your face and repeats the previous gesture, slipping it past your throbbing entrance, "i don't wanna be with him anymore."

"okay, babygirl," he says softly, "we'll figure it out."

a sudden loud knock on the door snaps you both out of your private moment. you hear your boyfriend say your name on the opposite side, loud and firm followed by, "i know you're in there."

your eyes widen, a fear you've never felt before etched all over your face as you look frantically at joel. your expression is enough for him to understand your sudden horror.

you forgot to lock the door.

you both stand up, joel reaching for your panties at the same moment you reach for your shorts. he thrusts them at you and pushes you toward his office bathroom door, not saying a word in his absolute panic, just wanting to make sure you're hidden away. just as the bathroom door shuts with you inside, you hear the office door open.

"where is she?" you hear your boyfriend say angrily, "i heard her voice, i know she's here."

"calm down," joel says, stern and serious, "give her a minute, she's upset."

"she's fucking dramatic is what she is," your boyfriend growls, "jesus, dad, why are you always on her fucking side?"

"because she comes crying to me about you almost every time she's here," joel's voice is strained, clearly angry but holding back as best he can, "if you don't start treatin' her right, you're gonna lose her."

"i don't give a shit, she's not fucking worth it."

"no, you're not fucking worth it," joel says, voice getting louder, "why she's still with you is a fucking mystery to me, i didn't raise you to treat women like this."

"she's just a girl, dad. chill the fuck out."

"she is not just a girl," joel's voice is booming now, "and you'd fucking realize that if you actually talked to her."

the entire time they've been talking you've been quietly wiping your face, cleaning up as silently as you can while you listen to their argument. you toss the wet cloth in the hamper when you're done and press your ear up against the door, feeling tears prick in your eyes again. you're not sure what you're more emotional about, your boyfriend being horrible or joel defending your honor. either way you suppose a fresh outpour of tears will help the situation seem a little more normal when you leave the bathroom.

"i'm done with this," your boyfriend is saying, almost spitting with frustration, "stay out of it dad, i mean it. let me see her."

"give her a minute," joel repeats, "she needs some space."

"let. me. see. her." your boyfriend enunciates each word, voice harsh and rough; you can tell he's getting closer and closer to the bathroom door.

to save joel from doing something he'll regret you shove open the bathroom door, eyes downcast, "i wanna go home," you say quietly, tears streaming down your face again, "someone just take me home, please."

--

joel had immediately offered but your boyfriend had shut him down, walking toward you with softening eyes.

"i'm sorry, babe," he'd said, suddenly a different person now that he saw how upset you were, "i'll take you home."

now you're sitting in his car, watching the neon lights go by through the window as he drives you home in silence. it's raining and depressing and all you want is to be back with joel, safe and desired.

once you get to your house your boyfriend parks in the driveway and turns to look at you, "you ready to talk yet?"

you stare, "i have nothing to say."

he turns away from you, grinding his teeth together, "why are you always such a fucking bitch?"

you turn silently in your seat, arms crossed as you continue to stare out the window. you could get out of the car but you know he'll just follow you, probably start yelling in front of your house so all the neighbors can hear you. it's happened before.

"why do you always go to my dad?" he asks, shaking his head, "i don't get it. he gives terrible advice."

"maybe i don't go to him for advice," you say immediately. "maybe i go to him so someone will actually listen to me for once."

"well you're annoying the shit out of him is what you're doing," he says harshly, "he's just too nice to tell you to leave him alone."

"is that right?" you ask, biting down on your lip to keep yourself from absolutely losing it.

"yeah, that's right."

you sit in silence for a few more moments, still biting back all the awful things you want to say. i'm fucking your dad, you wish you could snarl at him, i call him daddy and he fucking loves it.

"listen... i'm sorry," he says turning to look at you again, "i know i'm an asshole sometimes."

you twist your mouth, tears still spilling over as you cross your arms tighter against your chest.

"let's just sleep on it, okay?" he murmurs, reaching over to push a strand of hair behind your ear, "and if you wanna break up with me in the morning then we'll deal with it."

you sigh shakily, nodding, "fine."

he strokes the skin behind your ear and you feel his fingers suddenly freeze. you look over at him and see him peering curiously at something.

"what?" you ask, confused.

"what's this in your hair?" he asks, making a face, "looks like..."

your eyes widen and you pull back immediately, "it's moisturizer, i was trying to make my face less puffy."

he stares at you, slightly confused by your reaction. his hand slowly comes down from your hair and he looks like he wants to say something, mouth opening and then closing again. instead, he turns away from you and puts both hands on the wheel, knuckles flexing white.

"i think you should get out now," he says quietly.

your eyes are still wide, unsure if he believes your lie or not. slowly you unbuckle your seatbelt and reach for the handle of the door, still peering at him with a frightened gaze. he turns to look at you again, jaw set tightly.

"tell me that's not what i think it is," he says, voice hard and firm.

"it's moisturizer," you repeat, trying to keep your voice as relaxed as possible, "i swear."

he just continues to stare at you with an unreadable expression as you open the car door and get out. as soon as you shut it behind you his tires squeal against the pavement of your driveway, pulling out fast and dangerously. you watch his car disappear down the street as you stand there, goosebumps rising on your skin from the chilly nighttime air.

you yank out your phone and quickly send a text to joel, eyes still wide:

i think he knows.

---

thank you sm for reading!! this little miniseries definitely isn't my best work by any means but it's fun to write. this one got way longer and way more plotty than i was expecting lmao but i hope it was enjoyable for somebody!

here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip 💖

[writing-in-the-impala]

Secret Smokes (Part 15)

Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader

Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.

Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, teacher-student relationship, angst, jealousy, fluff, smut.

Word Count: 2311

A/N: wow it's been a while I have no excuses I just have a soul-draining full-time job and no free time. Enjoy! I missed you all <3

 | SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |

Previous Chapter, Part 15, Next Chapter

You spent the whole Sunday sulking as you walked around Hogsmeade trying to lift your own spirits. You couldn't take it anymore. On one hand you thought about how maybe you just need to go one a date with someone else to break this fixation you had on Remus on the other hand you felt like you may have a lot more than just a crush on him and that no one will be able to replace him. You simultaneously wanted to bump into him and to not see him for a few days. But something pushed you to try and force him into bumping into you. So you pulled out the marauders map and saw he was in his classroom. You went to the corridor adjacent and sat with a book waiting for him to walk out, yet the next time you checked the map he was in the library so you headed straight there. Once you arrived to the library he was nowhere to be found, you checked the map and saw he was walking towards the courtyard you followed him but couldn't catch up with him until you saw him disappear from the map. You knew he left Hogwarts, and you knew he was avoiding you as he probably saw where you were using his own map. It was hopeless. He was impossible.

Your next interaction with him was Monday morning in class, one of the only places he couldn't avoid you, especially that you knew he couldn't skip classes as he had to do so at the end of each month anyway. When you walked in Remus's eyes flicked to yours and then straight to the floor to avoid yours. He kept his composure well during class but spent the whole hour tapping his finger on his wand and falling over his words. He barely answered questions and took deep breaths. After the lesson finished he let out a sign simply saying "that's all, thank you very much. Remember keep studying I know you'll all do great." In this moment he gave you a short glance breathing in, closing his eyes slowly and turning to walk up to his office. As everyone funnelled out you followed him. "Professor, I have a question about one of the exams." You said nearly running up to catch him as he was already half way up the stairs.

"Miss L/N, I can't go into too much details about exams you know this. I'm sorry, I'm afraid I won't be of much use to you."

"But professor I just want to understand more." You pushed hugging your books for comfort and looking around as some students were still in the class, he shifted his body weights to his other leg.

"I'll be honest I've never ran a class through exams, you know I'm new to all this. It would be better for you to speak to a different professor on this subject." He pained and you knew you were both speaking in double meanings at this point.

"But you're the one I want to speak to as you are the one who teaches defence against the dark arts."

"Was I not clear that I'm not the right match for you on this topic when we last spoke about exams, I suggest Professor McGonagall could help." He said looking past you at the last few girls in the room both you aching for them to leave you you could speak normally as he knew you wouldn't leave and there wasn't much you could say like this.

"Yes I do understand that Professor however what she explained wasn't that clear either, it left me with a lot of questions specific to defence against the dark arts." At this moment the last two girls left saying "bye Professor Lupin." He said goodbye to them before turning back to you and saying "Follow me, let me see if I can help." You followed behind him, he held the door open for you and let you in his office first before shutting the door behind you, you didn't make yourself comfortable in the room but rather stood by the door. "You shouldn't speak to me like that while there's other students around." He said in a low tone.

"I needed to get your attention somehow."

"You know you've always got my attention." He words were almost a low growl.

"But you avoided me all Sunday."

"It's what's best for you." He took a step closer closing the space between you forcing you to look up if you want to look into his eyes.

"How do you know what's best for me?"

"Trust me I do." He leaned down his lips were an inch away from yours.

"Really?" You asked and his lips met yours as he moaned a "mhm" in confirmation. He pulled away to say "you know you really shouldn't act like that in my classroom while there's other students still leaving, begging me to talk to you, to give you attention." His words were making hot flashes go through your body as you said nothing just looked up at him. "Do you understand?" He asked and you nodded.

"Good girl." He said the words catching you off guard. He walked away from you to go and lean against his desk as you stood in the same place confused.

"I thought you were avoiding me?" You asked not understanding his sudden change in behaviour.

"I am." He said signalling for you to come closer with his hand and you followed his command. He stood up straight in front of the desk as you looked up at him he picked you up and put you down on the desk so you were now sitting on it.

"How is this avoiding me professor?" You ask him as he looked down at you, he got on his knees in front of you, his head at desk level as his hands moved up and down your thigh.

"Well right now we don't have to discuss all the stuff I'm avoiding." He said moving his head between your thighs and teasing you through your clothing.

"How are you so sure?" You asked as you resisted all the feelings he was sending through you.

"Because dear you can't even think straight and I haven't bent you over my desk yet." He said standing back up leaving you aching for him.

"Please don't stop." You said looking into his eyes that seemed a lot darker in this moment. He began to kiss you as he undressed you and you unbuttoned his shirt. He grabbed you by your hair to turn you around and bent you over his desk. You felt his body against you before he leaned down to whisper in your ear he took a deep breath and then he let you go and walked away sitting on the sofa opposite the desk while saying "I can't do this."

You turned around in confusion to see him buttoning back up his shirt, you quickly fixed yourself before questioning him. "What do you mean you can't do this? You started it!" You attempt to protest.

"and I'm ending it."

"So what happened to wanting to bend me over your desk?"

"I can't, I care about you too much. I don't want to throw you around this room like an object of desire. Don't get me wrong I do desire you, and you do something to me when you out me on the spot in public like that but I can't treat you like this."

"What if I want you to treat me like that?" You asked afraid of moving anywhere closer to him in the room.

"Then you don't understand your own worth." He simply stated.

"So now you won't speak to me or even sleep with me anymore?"

"You know I think it was William Blake who said sooner murder an infant in its cradle than nurse unacted desires."

"Well if you studied Blake like I did you would know Blake is telling you to act on your unacted desires, unless you're telling me you would rather kill a infant in its cradle than kiss me again."

"You've got it wrong dear. I may have been homeschooled by my parents but don't underestimate how many hours I spent reading. The enacted desires are the things you should murder. If you nurse them, they must be in a cradle. They are the baby in a cradle so strangle your unacted desire, don't act on them."

You felt almost embarrassed at you pointing out school, you didn't know he was homeschooled but it made sense with his condition and the fact they moved constantly, it added up and now not only were you angry at Remus for his recent actions but you felt guilty for your own words. You didn't reply, the silence was thick before Remus breathed heavily and continued to speak.

"Therefore it's time for me to strangle mine, if you remember the day we went to the British Museum I asked you to promise that if you developed any strong feelings for me to tell me so we could cut it off before either of us gets hurt." He said and you nodded slowly to show you're following along. "Well I may have not been too truthful and I feel neither have you, and it has resulted in us both becoming victims of our own misfortune."

"Are you saying you have strong feelings for me Remus Lupin?" You asked feeling both nervous and excited.

"Not exactly, what I'm saying is there was a line that I tried to set and I believe somewhere that line became blurry. So after you left on my birthday I decided to establish that hard line again. I decided we will stop sleeping in my bed, we will stop all the cuddling nonsense and all the softness. However I simply can't do that Y/N, I can't be as stern and strict as I want to be with you."

"That's okay, I want to cuddle with you."

"I'm aware however I told you that day, I would like to take you on dates, I would like to walk around and hold your hand, I would like to bring you to see my friends especially during my birthday but we can't do that, I told you it will hurt to not be able to live in public, I didn't want to risk the pain for you. You deserve so much more than this." He looked weak.

"Can you not tell you're what I want no matter how many times you deny me?" You were almost in tears.

"I simply don't believe you understand what you're signing up for with me, and it's emphasised by you asking me to take you on dates, to go see Sirius, to go to my cottage. I always told you those weren't options with me especially while you study here but you didn't listen." He was angry but also frustrated like he was mainly fighting with himself.

"What if I didn't study here?"

"What? Y/N don't try and ruin your education?"

"No, as in when I finish. What happens then?"

"Then we're free, but then you have the burden of being associated with me.  I fear that the stigma attached to me will affect you before you even have a chance to become the amazing witch you can be."

"I don't care." You simply shrugged. "But would you take me on dates?" You asked and he thought for a second.

"Of course if you're not my student there no reason not to." He replied thoughtfully.

"Would I be able to visit Sirius with you?"

"It would be encouraged." He replied instantly.

"Okay, then we'll continue this whole conversation when I finish."

"So what happens now?"

"You tell me, you're the one who knows what's best for me." You said and he laughed for the first time since you entered this room. "Touché."

"I think we hold off for a little bit, you're right you know, I'm not being truthful about how attached I am to you. And I haven't been really seeing my friends this year because all I can think about is you." He gave you a sad but understanding nod. "So I think I should come here less, but I don't want to stop coming. Maybe we become a bit more casual, see each other every so often, I'd still like to be able to come for tea, listen to music and sometimes kiss you if that's okay."

"It's always okay." He said with a soft pained smile.

"Okay, so we do that, and when I finish school you can ask me out and show me what dating Remus Lupin is like, deal?"you put your hand out for him to shake.

"Deal." He said reaching out to shake your hand. "Would you like to stay exclusive still?"

"You don't?" You were caught off guard.

"No I do, but I'm not in my last year of school, I'm asking you?"

"I don't think I would be comfortable finding out you're kissing someone else, so could we please stay exclusive even if we don't see each other as often?" You asked nervously.

"Of course dear, now what would you like to do stay here with me today or go back to your friends I won't be offended if you leave right now."

"I'd like to stay." You said and he reached out his hand to pull you to sit beside him.

"I'm very proud of you for putting your foot down like this, don't get me wrong it hurts to know I'll see you less but I think you've acted more mature than me in all this."

"If we had it your way we would still be smoking and flirting on the bridge." You pointed out as Remus put and arm alright you and got comfortable making him laugh. You felt safe, and like you made the right decision. You hoped.

NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote

A/N: sorry for the angst I had to do it.

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[sen-ya]

part 5/7

is it silly that this is my favorite in this series? i really enjoyed writing kaya and I wanna do it again at some point :')

[op comic masterpost]

[pg1] panel 2: Kaya: Oh! Dr. Law! I didn't expect to find you in our library.

panel 3: Law: K-Kaya-ya!

panel 4: Law: Uh. Ahem. Excuse me. I hope you don't mind me borrowing your books.

panel 5: Kaya: Oh of course not! I'm just shocked to hear we have books you don't! What are you studying?

panel 6: Law: UHHHHH

[pg2] panel 10: Kaya: Oh! Is someone on your crew pregnant? Ikkaku??

panel 11: Law (thinking): She doesn't know Ikkaku is trans. Does she not know that I am?? I just assumed Nose-ya would have mentioned it. But that makes sense. If Straw Hat didn't already know Nose-ya was trans it's not like I would have told him.

panel 12: Kaya: ...?

panel 13: Law (thinking): Fuck, I've been quiet too long. I can't throw Ikkaku under to bus. Just say something.

panel 14: Law: No. Kaya: Oh. Then why...? Law (thinking): Wait, shit

[pg3] panel 15: Law: My, uh...brother...'s...wife. Yeah, we're taking him back to Zou soon...because his wife is pregnant...and I...want...to help...?

panel 16: Kaya: Oh, how sweet! Congrats "Uncle Law" hehe. If you have any questions I could help with let me know!! I specialized in traumatic injury, but I did deliver a few babies in Syrup Village! On smaller islands like that you wear a lot of hats.

panel 17: Law: And you've...been pregnant. Kaya: Well, yeah, but I wasn't my own doctor! Could you imagine if I had tried to deliver the twins myself? Even a doctor needs a doctor, you know that.

panel 18: Law: ...right.

panel 19: Law: ...what...what was it like?

panel 20: Kaya: Oh, my pregnant patients were actually pretty fun! I suppose it makes sense that as a pirate ship doctor you wouldn't have had to know obstetrics. But it was always so lovely to hand a parent their--

[pg4] panel 21: Kaya: ...newborn...baby...?

panel 23: Kaya: ...I'm sorry, Dr. Law. If there's context I need you'll have to give it to me. I'm not good at guessing.

panel 24: Law: What do you mean, I just gave you context. Kaya: With all due respect, you're full crying. It's a new sight for me!

panel 25: Kaya: You can tell me what's going on! I'm told I'm a very good listener

panel 26: Law: ...You Straw Hats sure are a pain Kaya: Sorry, hehe

panel 28: Law: ...I...ahem...so number one, if you didn't know...I'm...I'm trans.

panel 29: Law: But not like your husband. He got the works from Ivankov-ya...I never felt the need to seek that out.

[pg5] panel 30: Kaya: ...I see

panel 31: Kaya: How far along are you? Law: ..12 weeks, give or take. Kaya: Well, I've provided obstetric care of all kinds. So whatever questions you're researching here...why don't you ask me instead of being your own doctor?

panel 32: Law: ...Same question. What was it like?

panel 33: Kaya: Being pregnant was a horror show!

panel 34: Law: A glowing review. Kaya: Oh, sorry! I can lie if you'd prefer!

panel 35: Kaya: I was just so sick my first trimester! Law (speaking over her): KAYA-YA I THOUGHT I WAS DYING FOR TWO WEEKS WHEN WILL IT STOP I CAN ONLY EAT RICE.

panel 36: Kaya: It's different for everyone. By the end it wasn't quite so bad for me, though. And I love my kids so much. They were such cute newborns!! So I was alright being uncomfortable for awhile. Because that's what we wanted, you know?

panel 37: Kaya (off screen): What do you and Luffy want, Dr. Law?

[pg6] panel 38: Law: ...We haven't decided yet. We're giving it to the end of the week. I'm trying to think about it rationally. But I just keep getting emotional any time I talk about it. It's strange.

panel 39: Kaya: An emotional decision and a bad decision aren't inherently synonymous, you know.

panel 40: Law: ...your bedside manner is impeccable, Dr. Kaya-ya. Kaya: Well, thank you! Next time let's meet in the infirmary, mine or yours.

panel 41: Kaya: I'll be your doctor through this, okay?

panel 42: Law: ...Okay...Thank you. Kaya: Of course!

[cnnmairoll]

The Last Braid

contains: brother! Kita Shinsuke, mentions of suna x reader genre: fluff, comfort synopsis: You're getting married, and the nervousness washes over you. As you prepare for the big day, your brother Shinsuke steps in to braid your hair one last time. a/n: very old and I had to label the doc 'wajib tulis bego' which means you better write it you incompetent piece of shit 😞

"Y/N," your brother, Shinsuke, called out as you turned away from the mirror and faced him at the door. The bridesmaid sensed the need for privacy and excused herself, leaving just the two of you in the room. Shinsuke took a step closer to you.

"Shin? What are you doing here?" you asked, puzzled. "Shouldn't you be in Rin's room right now?"

"Why would I be there when my sister is here? I'm the one who will be walking you down the aisle, after all. And also..." He guided you toward the vanity, pulling out a chair for you to sit. "I'll do your hair one last time before Suna takes over that role," he chuckled. "Do you have any specific requests?" he asked, gently brushing your hair.

"Anything will do, Shin. I trust you," you replied, smiling at the reflection before you, reminiscing about the days when he used to style your hair daily.

"Are you nervous?" Shinsuke asked as he began dividing your hair into sections.

"A little bit. I mean, it's normal to feel nervous on your wedding day, right?" you responded, fidgeting with your fingers. While Shinsuke focused on his task, he picked up on your nervous habit. He knew something was bothering you.

"You know, the best way to overcome that nervous feeling is to talk about it," Shinsuke remarked, recognizing that you had something on your mind. You took a deep breath and started sharing your worries.

"It's just... what if I'm not good enough for him? What if I'm not ready for this huge step?" you confessed, your voice trembling slightly.

Shinsuke paused for a moment, then resumed braiding your hair, his movements gentle and soothing. "Y/N, you've always been enough. Suna knows that, and that's why he chose you. And as for being ready, no one ever feels completely prepared for big life changes. It's okay to be nervous."

"But what if I mess up?" you asked, your eyes meeting his in the mirror.

"Then you mess up. And you learn from it. But you won't be alone. You'll have him, and you'll always have me," Shinsuke reassured you, finishing the braid and securing it with a delicate pin.

You felt a wave of calm wash over you, the familiar sensation of your brother's support grounding you. "Thanks, Shin. I needed that."

Shinsuke smiled warmly, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head. "Anytime, Y/N. Now, let's get you married."

With a final look in the mirror, you stood up and took a deep breath, feeling more confident and ready for the big moment. As you linked your arm with Shinsuke's, you felt a lump form in your throat. The reality of the day hit you—you were leaving the home you had always known, and the brother who had been your rock.

"Shin... I’m going to miss living with you," you admitted, your voice breaking slightly.

Shinsuke’s expression softened, and he squeezed your hand reassuringly. "And I’ll miss having you around, Y/N. But this isn’t goodbye. You’re starting a new chapter with Suna, and that’s something to be excited about. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you hugged him tightly. "Thank you for everything, Shin. I love you."

"I love you too, Y/N," Shinsuke whispered, his voice filled with emotion. "Now, let’s go make some beautiful memories today."

Together, you stepped out into the hallway, ready to embrace the future and the new life that awaited you with Suna, while carrying the unwavering support of your beloved brother in your heart.

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

Revealed love

Hii I hope you enjoy this Oliver Bearman on-shot to celebrate that next year he'll drive for F1 :)

We both met at a very young age, you had just moved into town and switched schools and that's how we met and as I close my eyes a rush of memories come flushing in.

It was a bright, sunny morning, and the schoolyard buzzed with the usual energy of children ready to start their day. As I walked towards my classroom, I noticed a new face among the familiar ones. He was standing alone near the entrance, clutching his backpack nervously, his brown eyes scanning the crowd with a mixture of hope and apprehension.

Something about his uncertain stance tugged at my heart. I could see he was trying to muster the courage to take that first step into unfamiliar territory. Without a second thought, I walked up to him, my curiosity and innate kindness propelling me forward. "Hi, I'm Y/N," I said with a smile, extending my hand. "You must be new here." He looked at me, his eyes wide with surprise, and then a shy smile crept across his face. "Yeah, I’m Ollie," he replied, shaking my hand. His grip was tentative but warm. "Welcome to our school, Ollie. Come on, I'll show you around," I offered, sensing his relief as he fell into step beside me. As we walked, I pointed out the different classrooms, the playground, and introduced him to a few of my friends. The initial awkwardness faded quickly, replaced by easy conversation and shared laughter. Ollie had a quiet charm about him, and his shyness soon gave way to a sense of humour that matched my own. By the time the bell rang, signalling the end of recess, it felt like we had known each other forever.

From that day on, Ollie and I were inseparable. We navigated the ups and downs of school life together and his career as a racer, our bond grew stronger with each passing year. We shared secrets, dreams, and countless adventures, always there for each other no matter what.

Ollie wasn't just the new kid anymore; he was my best friend, my confidant, and an irreplaceable part of my life. As I think about that day, I can't help but smile, grateful for the twist of fate that brought us together and the enduring friendship that throughout the years has grown into a crush.

"Are you okay? You've been very quiet tonight," Oliver asks, concern evident in his voice. "Yeah, just lost in my thoughts, thinking about us actually and how much has changed since we met, and even though I'm so happy that next year you'll be in Formula 1, everything will change." I say as I look into his eyes. "Y/N, you are one of the most important people in my life, and I understand how you feel. It's terrifying, but at the same time, you know it's something I have to do." Hope fills my heart as I hear his words, until they are crushed. "Besides, you are my best friend. I could never forget about you," he says nervously. I'm speechless, my thoughts a mess. "I understand, Oliver. If you'll excuse me, I need some air."

As you walk onto the patio, the cool evening air does little to soothe the turmoil inside you. Footsteps quickly follow, and before you can take another step, a hand gently catches your arm. "Y/N, wait," Oliver says, his voice laced with urgency. "I know there's something more. You only call me Oliver when you're angry."

That's it. You can't hold it in any longer. Words pour out, driven by months of pent-up emotion. "I'm not angry, Oliver. I'm exhausted. I keep waiting for you, but you never come. Is it all in my head?" Your voice wavers, the vulnerability in your words hanging heavy in the air.

Oliver's expression softens, his eyes filled with a mixture of pain and regret. "No, it's not in your head," he says quietly. "I… I've been trying to protect you."

"Protect me?" you repeat, your confusion mingling with frustration.

He takes a deep breath, his hand still on your arm, as if afraid you'd disappear if he let go. "Yes. From everything. From the scrutiny of the F1 world, from the chaos that surrounds my life. I didn't want to ruin our friendship, Y/N. I didn't want to risk losing you."

Tears prick your eyes as you look at him, the weight of his words sinking in. "I don't care about any of that, Oliver. I care about you. I've loved you for so long, and it hurts to think you don't feel the same."

His grip tightens ever so slightly, his eyes locking onto yours. "I've loved you too, Y/N. From the moment we met, you've been the most important person in my life. I thought keeping my feelings hidden was the right thing to do, to keep you safe. But I can't keep hiding it anymore."

You take a shaky breath, the raw honesty in his words giving you strength. "So where does that leave us?"

Oliver steps closer, his other hand coming up to cup your cheek. "It leaves us right here, together. You'll never have to be alone. I love you, and that's all I really know. We'll face everything together, no matter what."

Tears finally spill over as you lean into his touch, your heart swelling with relief and joy. "I love you too," you whisper, your voice trembling with emotion.

He pulls you into a tender embrace, his lips finding yours in a kiss that feels like coming home. The world around you fades away, and for the first time in a long time, everything feels right. In that moment, under the stars on the patio, you know that no matter what challenges come your way, you and Oliver will face them together, your love stronger than anything else.

[thesensteawitch]

A Message From Your Person 💝💌

Pick A Pile Reading

(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls!

I hope you all are doing well. I am back with another collective reading. This reading will give you a glimpse about what's going on in your person's mind and heart.

For personal readings please DM me or email me at thesensteawitch@gmail.com

Pile 1

Tarot Cards- Three of pentacles, The magician, King of cups, Queen of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, Ten of Pentacles

Animal Spirit- Spider

Hello, my dear pile 1. This person is in love with you. Like REALLY. TRULY! Their efforts may seem a bit slow but they will be pacing up with time. They have this whole life planned or at least imagined with you. They love you with everything they have got. They try to keep a check on you. They see you as a stable and beautiful human being. They are trying their best to match your level. You are their home, their safe space. They too are trying to be yours. Just know that it will take some time for them to love you the way you deserve. To reach your standards they need to deal with their emotions first. But in the midst of everything they care about you. They need to come out of their comfort zone which they clearly know. Suffering and pain have somehow become comfortable for them but they know that you are their true calling. For you, they must come out of it. They feel overwhelmed when trying to communicate their emotions. Give them time and space. They have got so much to share and build with you but they are at a place from where they can only imagine and visualize a future with you. They are asking you to be patient with them. When the time is right Universe will clear all the blockages. Your person may be a workaholic. They need to set their priorities straight. For some of you I see that they are trying to make themselves financially stronger so that they can provide for you. They dream of a fulfilling and abundant life with you.

To know more about your situation book a reading with me.

Pile 2

Tarot Cards- King of Swords, 3 of Wands, King of Wands, Six of Pentacles, The World, Nine of Swords

Animal Spirit- Elk

Dear pile 2, currently your person is at a learning stage. They are learning some very significant lessons regarding relationships. The true meaning behind them. They are trying to understand what love truly means. They have searched for definitions from all around the globe. They may be spending a lot of time on the internet searching for the answers they need. They are generous and kind-hearted. They are trying to figure out how to begin this new journey with you and at the same time let go of the past hurts. Your person is charismatic. They may be magical. But they seem to be suffering some days. Their own mind plays tricks on them. As this year ends they will be out of their misery. Probably after the 21st of December, you'll see some positive change in their behavior. Somewhere deep down they love you. In the weirdest way, they are showing their love for you. But you can sense the hint of pain in their gestures. This pain will be over soon. Your person may also be suffering from health issues so they need to take care of themselves. They are letting you know that soon they will be able to spread love but before that, they must embody love within them. They are learning to detach themselves from their past relationship experiences. Sometimes it's a struggle and sometimes they sail smoothly. You need to give them time at least till January.

To know more about your situation book a reading with me.

Pile 3

Tarot Cards- Queen of Cups, Four of Swords, Judgement, Six of Wands, Eight of Swords, Temperance

Animal Spirit- Swan

My dear pile 3, your person wants you to know that it's okay to fall in love again. Don't hide yourself behind the walls. Don't give them excuses. Don't tell them that you can't do it for XYZ reasons. They know you have got so much love to give. They can see right through you. They know that deep down you can love someone again. To love them, perhaps again. They are asking you to come as your true self this time. Wake up and look in the mirror. Look what they see in you. Someone who is patient, loving, victorious, and who can handle transformation. Someone who is honest and doesn't give excuses. You're being too proud to show them your true side. They want you to drop your walls. Spend some time alone and assess your emotions. Ask yourself questions regarding this person. Sit in silence. You will receive the answers from within. If you or your person doesn't take a step towards each other then this bond can end very soon. Communication is needed. Pride needs to be set aside. They are afraid too of falling in love with you. But they are willing to give it a try. Think about it.

To know more about your situation book a reading with me.

Links:

Booking Form

My Rate Card

[bones4thecats]

It's okay can I please ask for riddle Floyd and Jade with kianna komori

I don't know what to really put in this request so the rest is up to you

Kianna Komori! S/O Having Flashbacks

Characters: Riddle Rosehearts, Floyd Leech, and Jade Leech Requester: @nunezs-stuff A/N: It's so good to hear from you again Nunez! I haven't been using my messaging tool all that much except clearing up some requests for other people. I may message you later when this gets posted. Anyways! If you guys are confused about who Kianna Komori is, just go check out Nunez's posts, she is an OC of theirs so! Now, enjoy <3 ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Mentions of attempted assault, Laito Sakamaki is his own warning, attempted physical harm, and mentioned punishment (if you know, you know) ⚠️

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Riddle Rosehearts ════════════════════════╝

❤️ You were always so quiet, and it's not that Riddle hated that about you! Rather, he liked that. This guy just needs some silence after a long day dealing with Ace and Deuce

❤️ But sometimes your silence made him weary. Sometimes you would be drinking some tea and then stare at the drink with a blank and empty stare, which made the Housewarden nervous before saying your name to snap you out of your daze

"Y/N? Are you alright?" Riddle asked, lightly reaching over and shaking your arm to usher you back to reality.

"Huh- oh, yeah I'm fine." You said, slightly shaking as you laid the cup down and excused yourself, saying you needed to go to the bathroom.

❤️ Over time, this began to become more frequent, and it was starting to make your boyfriend more worried for you as said time passed by

❤️ One day, he had been yelling at a horrible student, one who had tried to assault you one day, and while he yelled at him, he noticed that you had ran off

❤️ Looking into the student's eyes and pointing to his head, he yelled his unique spell before going off to find you

❤️ As he walked around Heartslabyul, Riddle had noticed that Yuu, Ace, Deuce, Cater, Grim, and Trey all were standing outside of the rose maze, a look of concern all present on their faces

"Have any of you seen Y/N?" He asked.

"They went in the maze. I'm pretty sure they were crying. Riddle, what happened?" Trey answered and asked.

"You'll learn later. Thank you by the way."

❤️ Changing from his quick walk to a direct sprint, Riddle began to look around for you, keeping his eyes open. It was known that many could get lost in this maze, but you knew it like the back of your hand. But still, you were crying! Even the smartest people could lose their sense of memory when overwhelmed with emotions

"Y/N! Where are you?" Riddle yelled.

❤️ Hearing sniffs and sobs, the Heartslabyul Housewarden began to carefully walk in the direction of the sound before stopping. You were sitting down, curled up in a ball while you cried, nails digging into your sleeves in an attempt to stay grounded

"...Y/N?"

"Please... don't let him do it again... Yui... please..."

❤️ Yui? Wasn't that the name of your sister that you mentioned from time to time?

"Rose-Petal, are you alright? Did that wretch do anything else?" He asked, attempting to wrap his arm around you without scaring you.

❤️ He's read about assault -even just attempted- victims fearing being touched for a while. So he understood that you may not want to be touched, but he was surprised when you lunged and wrapped your arms around him, crying your eyes out as you rambled a guy's name

"Don't let Laito near me again... please Riddle!"

❤️ Laito? The vampire brother... oh shit

❤️ Despite his better judgement, Riddle closed his eyes and held you, laying on the ground as you cried into his chest. He could care less about the fabric right now, you were what was most important

"Don't worry. He won't be coming by any time soon..."

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Floyd Leech ════════════════════════════╝

🎭 This guy was beyond emotionally unstable, but normally he would tone that down when you came around. And while it was still prominent, it wasn't as bad

🎭 Floyd is also a very possessive person, not liking many others being around his S/O. He just doesn't like it when someone tries to, in his words, 'take' what is his

🎭 One random afternoon, Floyd had decided to search you out after club meetings were over. And despite the fact he was sweaty, he just wanted to find you and cuddle with you in his dorm room

"Y/N~ Where are ya' at?" He sang, walking through the halls nearby your club, Film Research Club, and got more and more upset as he couldn't find you.

🎭 As his negative emotions began to grow, he heard a sound of another angry male coming from a couple halls down. And, in true Floyd fashion, he stalked towards the noise to see what was going on

🎭 And what he saw did not make him any happier

"Why you insolent human! How dare you try harming me! You'll pay for such an attempt!" The black-haired man yelled, raising his hand to strike you down.

🎭 But the thing was, the pain never came. And as you slowly opened your eyes, you saw Floyd standing there, looking down at the Octavinelle first year with a dead-cold expression

"I recommend you start running, because if I catch you... you'll be stuck in a full-body cast the rest of your life."

🎭 As the other guy shivered and ran away in fear, Floyd calmed down in an instant before turning around and looking down at you. But instead of seeing his normally calm and composed S/O, he saw a fearful and appearing traumatized you

"Y/N? Are you good?" He asked, kneeling down to look at you.

🎭 You shivered in fear as you remembered the red-haired vampire, how he would be so self-involved that if you made one mistake, you would be punished. And normally the punishment would leave you more mentally scared than physically

🎭 Floyd noticed how you wouldn't snap out of it, so he pulled out his phone and hit dial on Azul's icon in his phone app, telling him what was going on with you

"Sounds like they're scared beyond recognition. Floyd, listen carefully," Azul began, "Take them to the nurse's ward and have them stay there for the night. They most likely need some time to recuperate. Now, I gotta go, Jade's calling."

🎭 Your boyfriend stood and picked you up gently, and seeing how you didn't flinch but rather grip onto him tightly with your fists balling up his hoodie -since he couldn't bother changing back into his uniform after practice- and leaned onto him, tears falling from your eyes despite your blank expression

"Don't worry, Y/N... you'll be alright. Promise."

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Jade Leech ════════════════════════════╝

🍄 Jade knew there was something off with you when you came back from a meeting with Yuu and the first years, the thing is, he didn't know what the thing was

🍄 But, he was going to find out, even if you didn't want him too -this is Jade Leech we're talking about

🍄 The sound of you knocking on his door made Jade look up from his terrarium and call for you to come inside, you then burst into the room and slam it shut, locking it behind you as he looked with a surprised face

"Y/N, my love, are you okay?"

"He-he's coming for me. He wanted to punish me... just like Reiji... no-no-no... he cannot be back as him..." You mumbled, a layer of sweat donning your head.

"Reiji? What are you going on about?" He asked.

🍄 You kept backing up from the door until a courteous knock came along, making you jump and hide table, making your boyfriend cock an eyebrow confusingly before standing and going to open his dorm's door

🍄 Jade looked down to see a third year standing there, his well-kept black and slightly-grey hair being the first thing that caught the eel's eyes

"What is it you need?"

"Apologies for disturbing you, Vice-Housewarden. But, I noticed that the human, Y/N Komori had come running in here and I am in need of their assistance." The older male answered.

"Assistance with what? Last I heard they had no upcoming projects, nonetheless one with a third year. Would you mind explaining what you need them for?" Jade narrowed his eyes creepily as the other Octavinelle student held his ground.

"I have been struggling with finding a special type of flower that is needed in a potion for class, and they did say I could go with them to find it in the gardens. Now, Y/N-"

"I think not." Jade said.

🍄 Holding his hand on the opposite side of his door, Jade grimaced and picked the flower he knew was necessary for a project coming up, you had mentioned the third-year before, so it was obvious he knew what plant was needed

"I suppose this, the Metus Conditor native to the Shaftlands, is what you're in need of?" He quizzed, holding it within grasp of the now ticked-off male.

"Yes. Thank you, Vice-Housewarden Leech." He answered, a thin layer of hostility and anger being laced in his tone as he spoke.

"It is of no problem. Now, have a good rest of your day."

🍄 Closing the door as the guy walked away, Jade looked back at you as he shivered and held your face in your knees and he sighed, a tint of pity being in his voice

🍄 Instead of speaking, Jade merely walked to his closet, pulling out an old blanket his mother had given him when he was younger. He unfolded the crocheted fabric and walked back up to you, motioning you out with one hand

🍄 As you slowly -since you were still shaken up- crawled out, your boyfriend pulled his bed sheets back and took your hand, helping your shivering form lay down in the bed before covering you in his sheets and blanket

🍄 Leaning down and kissing your forehead in an attempt to calm you down slightly, Jade swore he would find out why that guy really wanted you. No third-year just chases a first-year down for a sad reason as finding a flower which was quite common in the garden and not hard to find

"Get some rest, love. You need it."

(Metus Conditor - latin for Fear Maker)

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

Let's Talk About That

I came all this way just to feel this pain (4)

Warnings: talks of mental health (PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks), mentions of death/dying, anger issues, angst and fluff

Word count: 1,969

A/N: listen I love rewatching Marvel movies but having to watch civil war and pause every 5 seconds for the accords scenes killed me, but it would have bothered me if the lines weren't accurate so here you go.

May 19th 2016

You were in your office when Natasha came round telling you that you had to go to the meeting room. The secretary of state was here to talk with the Avengers. You knew this couldn't be good, but you got up with your laptop in hand just in case you needed it. 

All of you sat around the meeting room while Secretary Ross spoke, "The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives, but while a great many people see you as heroes there are some who would prefer the word 'Vigilantes'." Your grip on Wanda's thigh tightens and her hand goes over yours. Trying not to cause a scene, but you must have squeezed a little too tightly. You release it completely, balling and unballing your fist.

"And what word would you use, Mr. Secretary?" Natasha asks.

"How about dangerous?" He replies. "What would you call a group of U.S. based enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who frankly seem unconcerned with what they leave behind." Ross speaks freely, but you interject.

"Excuse me Sir, but if you'd have gone over my notes thoroughly about everyone's after mission session when things go good and when things go not great there is in fact a difference in their psyches. This team though we are enhanced individuals still have emotions and feelings. We still care about others and it's the exact reason we do what we do. Just because the world doesn't see them break down. I do." You stand up. "Tony has severe anxiety and suffers from panic attacks when things go wrong. Steve and Natasha have PTSD. Wanda," you look at her and she nods, " thinks every goddamn day about how she could have done better in Lagos. If she had been able to hold on a second longer than no one would have gotten hurt that day. Those lives every one of them rests on her mind." You tell him though he doesn't seem to care much as he shows a video, you sit back down, moving closer to Wanda and she holds your hand, your fingers intertwining. 

"New York, Washington D.C." He's showing the group's past failures as you look over at Steve and Natasha, watching their faces pale as both try to stay in the moment. "Sokovia." The battle for Sokovia from Ultron, the one you missed. You feel her hand squeeze yours as you move your other hand to her thigh to try and soothe her, "Lagos." The footage starts playing of the building that got caught in the blast Wanda had tried to contain. The close up of a dead girl in the ruble is shown and you can feel her shift as you pull her against your chest and whisper, 

"Don't look. I've got you."

"Alright that's enough." Steve calls out. I mouth a thank you to him as I let Wanda go once the footage stops. 

"Good to know we'll need a group therapy session after this." You say flatly. As you turn back to the front of the room.

"For the past four years you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision. That's an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate, but I think we have a solution." He hands over a binder to you. 

"The Sokovia Accords?" You ask, thumbing through it with Wanda.

"Approved by 117 Countries. It states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead you'll operate under the supervision of the United Nations panel. Only when and if that panel deems it necessary." Ross informs you all. 

"The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place. I feel we've done that." Steve interjects.

"Tell me Captain, do you know where Thor and Banner are right now? If I misplaced a couple of mega 30 ton nukes you can bet there would be consequences. Compromise, reassurance, that's how the world works. Believe me, this is the middle ground." Ross states. 

"So," Rhodey starts. "There are contingencies?" 

"Three days from now the U.N. meets in Vienna to ratify the accords." Ross tells us and you see Steve finally acknowledge Tony sitting in the corner away from the rest of us. "Talk it over."

"And if we come to a decision you don't like?" Natasha asks. Ross stops his exit from the room. 

"Then you retire." Ross answers.

"Sir. I'm 19." You remind him

"Good thing you went to college already. Whole life ahead of you unlike the rest of your team." He says and you've never wanted to break someone's neck more and once he and his men leave the room, you hand your laptop to Wanda and have everyone back up from the table as you slam my fist into it, reducing it to rubble. 

"You're paying for that." Tony mentions.

"You pay me. So you're paying for that." You remind him and you're lucky it wasn't his face." You say taking your laptop back from Wanda. "Thank you sweet girl."

As the tension in the room simmered and Secretary Ross exited, leaving the group to grapple with the weight of his ultimatum, a heavy silence settled over you. You could feel the collective unease radiating from your teammates, each grappling with their own thoughts and emotions in the wake of his proposition. The mix of all the feelings makes you nauseous.

Turning to face your fellow Avengers, you could see the turmoil etched on their faces, the weight of Ross's words bearing down upon us like a crushing weight. But amidst the uncertainty and fear, there was also a glimmer of determination in their eyes, a silent vow to stand together in the face of adversity.

"We need to talk," Steve's voice cut through the silence, his gaze sweeping across the room as he addressed each of you in turn. "This isn't a decision to be made lightly. We need to weigh the consequences, consider our options, and come to a consensus as a team."

You nodded in agreement, your mind already racing with the implications of Ross's proposal. The Sokovia Accords represented a fundamental shift in the way the Avengers would operate, a relinquishing of your autonomy in exchange for the illusion of oversight. But at what cost? Would you be forced to compromise your principles, to bend to the will of bureaucrats and politicians who viewed you as nothing more than tools to be wielded at their whim?

As the group dispersed from the meeting room, each lost in your own thoughts, you felt Wanda's hand slip into yours, her touch a comforting anchor amidst the storm of uncertainty that raged within you currently. With her by your side, you knew that whatever decision we ultimately made, you would face it together, united in your commitment to stand up for what you believed in, no matter the consequences. And as you retreated to the solace of our shared quarters, you knew that your journey was far from over, that the road ahead would be fraught with challenges and trials, but that so long as you faced them together, you would emerge stronger, more resilient, than ever before.

===========================================================

As the team goes back and forth arguing sides of right and wrong and if things are better in your hands or in the U.N. Wanda speaks up, "You're saying they'll come for me." Before you can speak, Vision does beside you after you had nudged your way in when he tried to sit next to Wanda, "We would protect you." 

"They'll come for me too. Wanda was given powers by the mind stone." You flick it on Vision's forehead, he flinches a bit, but you know it doesn't hurt, not like your own, "But this stone in my chest is a ticking time bomb. Something I've never told you guys is I have never once used 100% of my power. I had talked with Thor who knew about the stones." You gently touch your purple stone, reacting to your touch with a soft glow. "This stone in the past was held and wielded by Celestials, Gods in their own rights, used to decimate worlds." You look around the room. Faces of various degrees of worried or scared or nervous. "If I were to lose control...there's a possibility there won't be an Earth anymore. I know how dangerous I am with this stone, but much like Tony's arc reactor, If we extract this from me. I'm going to die. Last time Bruce did a check up for me...the stone...the stone is wrapped around my heart and lungs. Bruce and I did some tests of moving the stone around and we came to the conclusion it's more than likely to make my lungs collapse and my heart stop if it's pulled out." You look down, unable to look at any of them. "If they take me it might be for the better, but no matter what. I want to keep fighting and keep helping. If I sign that...I'm signing over to my own arrest basically." 

"Well it sounds like that might be a good thing." Tony states. 

"Fuck you Tony! I've only ever wanted to help people! I never want to hurt or kill people! I'd rather just go live my life as a psychiatrist! Work a normal day and come home to a nice home cooked meal, but I can't just do that! You brought me into this world. Now if you want me to stand down, I guess you'll have to take me out." You state before leaving. You hear Wanda follow behind you, catching up as she holds your hand and arm. 

"That is probably the scariest couple with the powers they possess." You hear Tony say just before the two of you get out of hearing range.

As you two left the heated discussion behind, Wanda's hand in yours providing a grounding reassurance, a silent acknowledgment of the challenges you faced together. The weight of the impending decision pressed down on your shoulders, each step echoing the tumultuous thoughts swirling in your mind.

The two of you found solace in a quiet corner of the compound, away from the prying eyes and the cacophony of conflicting opinions. The moon cast a gentle glow over you as you turned to face Wanda, her eyes reflecting a mix of concern and determination.

"I can't believe they'd even suggest something like this," Wanda murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "To turn against our own, to put us in a position where we have to choose between our principles and our freedom."

"They're scared," you replied, gently squeezing her hand. "Scared of what we can do, scared of the power we wield. But we can't let fear dictate our choices. We need to stand up for what we believe is right, even if it means going against those we once called allies."

Wanda nodded, a quiet resolve settling over her features. "I won't let them take you, Y/N. No matter what they decide. We'll find a way to navigate through this mess together."

A mixture of gratitude and warmth enveloped you as you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "And I won't let them take you either. We'll face whatever comes our way, side by side."

As the night stretched before you, uncertainty lingering in the air, the two of you stood united against the challenges that awaited you. The Avengers, once a symbol of unity, found themselves at a crossroads, and the choices we made in the days to come would shape the course of our future, both as individuals and as a team.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Right, so, I've been seeing some persistent misconceptions in fanfiction where a character has ADHD. I'm a man of color with ADHD and I want to clear some things up. This is specifically about how people tend to write Ed Teach, but it can apply to other characters you're writing with ADHD. And I'd love if other people with ADHD, especially other people of color with ADHD, have any additions to tack on!

These things are NOT what ADHD is.

ADHD does not make you "stupid." This whole thing was inspired because I just read a fic where Ed cites his ADHD as evidence he's "dumber" than the other characters (and this was supported by the writing in the story). There is no correlation between ADHD and intelligence, and we know that Ed is a genius!

ADHD does not automatically mean that someone can't finish school or can't succeed in demanding academic fields. I'm working on my PhD. It just means your character needs coping skills.

ADHD does not mean that someone will "hyperfixate" on or suddenly lose interest in relationships, whether romantic or platonic.

ADHD doesn't mean your character struggles with personal hygeine or keeping their home clean. Please stop making me read fics that characterize a man of color as dirty or incapable of keeping his home clean and excusing it because "he has ADHD!"

ADHD doesn't mean that your character will need someone to look after or supervise everything they do. Ed does not need a White man to take care of him or make sure his work gets done.

ADHD doesn't mean a character will be unable to sit still, focus, stay on-task, or sit in silence 100% of the time. We all have different tolerance levels and those can change depending on current circumstances.

Here are some more realistic, interesting ways ADHD can impact successful, smart characters of color, like Ed.

He might feel the need to be hypercompetent, all the time.

He might get frustrated with himself. ADHD can be frustrating! You can be on top of things 99% of the time at work and school, and have people look up to you, and then you'll realize that you've been forgetting to book that doctor's appointment for six months straight now and you'll feel like a failure.

He might overcorrect symptoms. For example, he might have trouble keeping a neat, organized space and know that messes stress him out, so he overcorrects by being a bit of a neat freak and avoiding mess wherever possible so his space never becomes unmanageable.

He might struggle with The Evil Boredom. That's when you feel super understimulated and nothing is enough to help.

He might have trouble sitting still or saying quiet when he's nervous, feeling strong emotions, or in a boring environment or trying to do a boring task (the scene where Ed struggled with being still and quiet while fishing, while also feeling strong emotions of guilt, was super relatable).

I like to write AuDHD characters (with both autism and ADHD), and it can add a fun new dimension! I personally headcanon Ed as AuDHD. When you have both, symptoms can be frustrating because they can feel contradictory (for example, my autism demands I keep a neat, tidy space and I like routines, but my ADHD means I have trouble keeping things tidy to my standards and routines are super boring).

And finally but crucially: it's obviously okay to headcanon a character as ADHD or with any other neurodivergence when you're White. However, it's important to remember that the experience of neurodivergence looks different for people of color. Boys of color with ADHD, for example, are often overdiagnosed with ODD and labelled as "defiant" or "uncooperative." I often avoid telling White friends and coworkers that I'm AuDHD because it tends to make them infantalize me, as if I haven't already proven to them I'm a capable adult. People of color often have to go undiagnosed or without appropriate medications (if needed) and/or are misdiagnosed. If you're writing about a chracter of color with ADHD, I really recommend finding a sensitivity reader.

[cinnamonest]

we've talked about mommy darling and Rhinedottir darling before for Albedo; have we considered Alice darling? sweet momma (soft and squishy...) with just enough crazy to keep Albedo intrigued, and she's so much nicer than Rhine, really wants him to think of himself as part of the family. comes pre-packaged with a kid, too! and if i could be so bold, she's probably still lactating by the time Albedo comes along

only issue is the husband being in the picture still, which Albedo doesn't like, and the fact that you keep running off for Celestia knows what and leaving him behind, which Albedo really doesn't like. you put him in this family, take some responsibility. he won't tolerate a second neglectful momma- er, female... role model...

bless his little artificial heart, he's trying his damn best

In love with this concept anon, as much as I love Creator!Darling there's also an appeal to our baby boy getting this stark contrast of someone treating him nicely for the first time and having no idea how to handle it, developing an obsessive attachment but because it's Him™ he just cannot keep it healthy or sane, poor thing.

He finally gets to meet you after hearing about you before, and you're so sweet and gentle while you talk to him, but he just can't pay attention to anything you're saying because he can't un-glue his eyes from your blatantly swollen tits… it's not fair, it's too distracting. He likes to think of himself as mature and self-disciplined, so it's quite annoying and shameful that he feels so captivated, frustrating that he can't stop himself from looking.

Nor can he stop the weird feeling in his chest. Especially if it's shortly after his abandonment — he's in a state of emotional distress and pain, feels so lost and unwanted and here you are all sweet and doting. It's not just that it's a substitution for his Master, rather, you're nicer and sweeter l, in all his life he's never been treated so well.

Master was always so harsh and biting in her tone, always criticizing him, always manipulating him with threats to leave — and until now, that's really all he's known. But you, you're sweet, even if there's more distance between you two because you don't know each other as well. You smile at him and say nice things, you ask him about himself, you tell him to let me know if you need anything.

It feels strange. It's uncomfortable, in a way, feels like someone peering into his mind and heart, it's vulnerable and makes him squirm, yet, it feels good, he likes it, despite the discomfort. He’s not naive nor lacking self-awareness. He can recognize it for what it is from the start, and for that reason, he desperately seals it away early on, knowing it would not work, knowing you have a family, knowing there's a gap in your stages of life and maturity.

But it’s not wrong to notice you like him, right? Even if not in the same way. He knows you feel positively towards him.

It really hits him hard when, once day, there's some virus or another going around, he catches it and ends up having to stay at home sick, in the little lodging he's been provided in the town. He thinks nothing of it until you come knocking on the door.

You sigh in relief when he opens the door, say you were worried when you hadn't seen him all day. Your eyes widen when he explains (with a stammer he hopes you don't notice) that he's sick.

And your reaction feels so foreign. He's used to a sharp glare, a frustrated sigh, being told to suck it up and get over it and stop making excuses. But you, you start to fuss and coo at him, tell him to go rest, say something about how you'll get him some hot tea and run off, leaving him standing there, staring at the empty hall.

You noticed he was absent. He crossed your mind. It makes sense, in a way, but it just feels so… warm, fuzzy.

He crossed your mind. You think about him. You missed him. How much do you think about him? Do you do it every day? How much space in your mind does he occupy? How significant is he to you? There's this swelling feeling in his chest.

But he's often realistic to the point of pessimism, and so he suppresses the childishly hopeful thoughts with bitter self-criticism — telling himself he's being foolish and ridiculous and self-important to think it's anything more than just by chance, that you just happened to think of him for some reason. Taking that innate sense of wishful thinking in the most vulnerable depths of the heart and crushing it himself before reality does it for him. Less painful that way. It doesn't mean anything, he shouldn't hope for anything, he can't let himself form feelings that are just going to bring him pain in the long run.

And he does try to distance himself from you, for some time. It's like a form of addiction — he really does try, but he finds himself moving on a mental-autopilot anyway, seeking you out, letting the words of are you doing anything later? fall out of his mouth on their own and feeling so elated when you happily, willingly spend time with him.

And in time, he even lets himself start to think too much, stops pushing away those absurd thoughts that he knows better than to allow himself to have because he knows that if he has those thoughts and lets them fester, he's just going to get hurt, because the fantasies will never come to fruition, the feelings will never be reciprocated. He lets himself feel some sense of pride and pure bliss and vague sense of irrational hope when you tell him how grateful you are that he takes such good care of your precious girl when you ask him to look after her and how you're so happy he's bonded to her and tell him that she really looks up to him.

Lets himself bask in your praise and lets himself ride the euphoric high a single nice word from you brings him all day, rather than suppressing it. Lets himself look forward to seeing you, something he felt was only going to go badly for him and thus suppressed before.

Lets himself indulge in long drawn-out fantasies that he knows are so unrealistic and shameful, gradually progressing over time from embarrassingly vulnerable thoughts of your praise and kindness and affection, allowing the depravity and perversion he's repressed to slowly seep out further and further until the fantasies progress into those that have him locking his door and panting and gripping the table with his other hand until he's shivering and slouched over in the shameful clarity that follows.

He also tries to fight these thoughts and feelings initially not only because they're shameful and vulnerable, but because these feelings are accompanied by a much darker feelings, too.

One that is strictly unpleasant, rather than the other, more confusing uncomfortable-but-good feelings. This burning, twisting feeling in his gut and chest, whenever he sees you with others, particularly when you smile or laugh. The way the bitter heat blazes whenever he thinks about the fact that you had to be with some other man to have your child. The way his muscles tense and his eye twitches and he grips his utensils harder as he works. He's certain those feelings aren't good — rather, they're very bad, dangerous even.

The other is the longing, yearning pain when you're gone. He has to struggle to summon the motivation to work — what's the point, when he won't see you all day? The work itself isn't motivating enough anymore like it used to be — something that concerns him, yet remains true all the same. He works slower, he mopes, he doesn't do much of anything until you return, at which point his mood suddenly does a complete reversal, and he feels happy and good and motivated again. He knows that's not good, he knows that degree of dependency is alarming, but it's beyond his ability to resolve. It's a frustrating feeling, identifying a problem but having no way to resolve it.

The feeling of frustration only grows when the yearning itself begins to metamorphosize. It shifts over time, a sad longing that begins to turn to frustration, then bitterness, and finally reaches a low, dark resentment. One he knows is irrational, but the thoughts come anyway — why would you leave him alone here? What's more important than he is? Doesn't he deserve to have you stay with him? Don't you realize he's sad when you're gone?

Didn't you once say you'd be there if he ever needed anything? That you'd help him in any way you could? How do you intend to do that when you're gone so often, huh?

These thoughts can only grow worse with time, and yet, by this point, it's not a matter of letting himself do anything — the thoughts just happen, flowing out without any reign, and even if he tries to summon some restraint, they just slip through. Spiteful, bitter, vengeful, selfish, childish thoughts, darker —

(If you're just going to use him to take care of your kid, shouldn't you treat him like a partner, too? Isn't that selfish of you to not give that to him? Doesn't he do a lot for you? Doesn't he deserve a reward?)

— and darker and darker —

(Maybe you do know how he feels. You're just pretending not to. You know. You're just using him. You're taking advantage of him.)

— and he lets his mind sink to its lowest point.

You're just like her.

Yes, the bitterness gets strong. A sense of entitlement, frustration, a sense of transgression. You just dump your kid off on him to help care for, and then leave? And then you have the audacity to give him money, gifts, so on and so on when your return from your long trips.

As if that's what he wants, as if he cares about things like that. It feels insulting, almost, he'd rather have nothing if you're not going to give him what he actually wants. It feels like some pathetic attempt at substituting, even if rationally, he knows you don't mean it that way.

But bitterness easily overrides rationality, and so maybe he can let himself feel that way. Let himself feel a bit mad about it. Let himself grind his teeth and clench his hand into a fist when you start talking about your next journey you're planning, even if he responds with perfect calmness in his voice, a skill that strikes him as increasingly remarkable when he's so so so damn mad on the inside.

And maybe, if the frustration becomes more than he can bear, if it overrides his sense and inhibition entirely, he can finally let himself act on it too…