#if you’re confused: respawn

[salemlunaa]

❦ VOID STATE: THIS ISN’T YOU, YOU HAVE NO PLACE HERE ❦

the life you live now shouldn’t feel natural, like at all

So for those using the void to respawn or to permashift, there’s a reason things are so difficult: you are so comfortable where you are and that needs to change. Stop aligning with this shitty reality, as i said before, you must change what’s natural to you, this place isn’t natural to you anymore. The nanosecond you decided you wanted more, this reality wasn’t “yours” anymore. The second you even knew you had a “desired reality” was the second that it became YOUR reality. And one of the reasons you guys don’t feel natural about this is you don’t think you deserve it and in the back of your mind you still see something so simple (yet made to seem impossible by society) out of your reach

when you “fail the void” and wake back up in your current reality, you have a tinge of disappointment in your heart, and emotion is more than allowed but you also had a “knowing” that this was gonna happen, it was almost like you expected to fail, like you expected to be dropped back here in your shitty life when the void “didn’t work out” for you. Instead you should be confused, or slightly annoyed

why are you here? why did you wake up here?

this isn’t YOUR reality and you KNOW this

why did you expect to wake up in that bed when you said you were gonna align yourself with your new reality?

there is no place for you here, the new reality is where you belong

you shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t EXPECT to wake up here

This can even be applied to waking up in your old face and body, that body that you saved into your mood board, isn’t a desire, it’s just yours. That pretty girl you save into your favourites isn’t your “face claim”, you just have that face naturally. You save edits of your “desired” significant other, telling yourself that they’ll be yours one day when they’re yours NOW.

These aren’t desires, they are yours. Just yours.

You should stop feeling so comfortable in a body, face, family or reality that doesn’t belong to you. That comfort you have in waking up back in your shitty life lets me KNOW that you don’t genuinely, truly think you deserve your new life. And you not believing you’re worthy of your new life and that you’ll “get there if you’re lucky enough” is what causes you guys to be so lazy about tapping in

Even the word “desired” shows that you see YOUR life as something so out of reach, instead maybe go for “new reality/ new story” and instead of calling it your “current reality”, call it your “old story” because that’s all it is, it’s not your current state or your reality, it’s only some distant story.

Now i urge you to go look at that mood board/ favourites folder you’ve made in honour of your desired self and the life you have in your desired reality (and yes i know you have a mood board, if not multiple 🙄) and look at it hard, tell yourself “wow, that’s ME”, because IT IS YOU, fall in love with yourself and your life because THAT IS YOU MY LOVE, AND THAT’S HOW YOU LIVE

CHANGE WHAT YOURE COMFORTABLE WITH, AND YOUR NEW LIFE WILL BE YOURS, BE CONFIDENT ABOUT THE NEW YOU 🐆💋

[anonymous-dentist]

I think that Bobby would’ve absolutely despised Pepito from beyond the grave (Roier is HIS dad, hello???) But, when he saw Pepito go down in that dungeon just the same way he did months and months ago, Bobby couldn’t help but sit by Pepito’s side and hold his hand as he briefly entered the afterlife:

“Stop crying,” Bobby tells him.

(Pepito is technically older than Bobby ever got to be, but, like, fuck that.)

Pepito, dead and waiting to respawn, keeps crying. Like a baby. Ew.

He gets onto his feet and runs to Roier’s corpse and shakes it to no avail; after all, Roier is dead and respawned, and Pepito is a ghost. Ghosts can’t do much.

Bobby rolls his eyes and goes to yank Pepito to his feet. And then he starts swearing as Pepito stands, turns, and pulls Bobby into a hug.

“Ew, no, get off!” Bobby protests, pushing at Pepito’s shoulders.

But Pepito doesn’t.

“I’m sorry,” Pepito sobs, confusing the hell out of poor Bobby.

Bobby frowns. “What? No, shut up.”

Pepito shakes his head. “I already stole Apa Roier. Now I stole your death!! I’m a Bad Pepito.”

Vaguely, Bobby remembers hearing Roier tell Pepito way in the beginning that Pepito would die just like Bobby did. He was always looking at Bobby’s statue, and at Bobby’s art, while standing in Bobby’s Castle.

Bobby wrinkles his nose. “Literally shut up. You didn’t ‘steal’ Apa from me, I’m still his son, okay?”

Pepito whimpers. “Okay…”

“And you didn’t ‘steal my death’ or whatever, that’s stupid. You died. I don’t think you wanted to, so you didn’t mean to die this way. So there.”

He sticks his tongue out. Pepito considers just for a moment before tightening his hug and smiling and sticking his glasses into Bobby’s chest, the bastard.

“You’re soooo smart!” Pepito says.

Bobby pauses. First time he’s ever been called smart. When he was alive, almost everybody just thought he was an annoying troublemaker, which he was. But… smart?

Bobby smiles to himself- careful not to let Pepito see- and he finally returns Pepito’s hug.

“Take care of Apa for me,” Bobby tells him. “He’ll need a hug when he comes back.”

(Of course, Bobby is referring to his Apa being in Rat Prison, but Pepito can’t know that. Ghost Rules and stuff.)

Pepito nods, and then he finally respawns.

Good riddance!

…But maybe Bobby doesn’t hate him.

[roguelov]

y/n playing minecraft with hob while dream watches them?

hob would go out and do all the farming for materials and slay the mobs and stuff while y/n just stays at the base and wastes all the material hob gathers on making a bunch of builds and getting as many pets as possible

(if it was me he'd also come save me all the time because I always get lost lol)

dream is just sitting there amused, watching hob fighting for his life while y/n is just chilling with the animals lmao

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUNNY AND ADORABLE

Dream is so amused as he watches you and Hob, he sits comfortably between the two of you watching the split screen. Hob who is deep in the caves mining trying to avoid skeletons and creepers meanwhile you’re humming a tune as you build a cute house. You already have a massive farm for all your animals along with what seems to be an army of dogs (each one with a different color for their collar and named too). You will have cats but you keep grumbling about how much fish they need and that they are being greedy.

…

“Love, where is all coal?” Hob asks.

You wince then peer around Dream, giving Hob a sheepish smile. “I used the rest to make glass.”

Hob’s eyebrows shoot up. “All of it?”

“… well I made a sun roof for our home … and a small sky light for the barn.”

Dream chuckles remembering your hesitancy when burning the last of the coal. He also remembers you leaning over and whispering to him, “Don’t tell Hob.”

…

“Where are you?” Hob asks. His eyes flicker to your side of the side, utterly confused.

“You said there was a small cave over here,” you said happily and continuing on your adventure.

“… love, it’s in the other direction.”

“…”

“Do you -“

“Yes please come find me.”

…

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Hob swears under his breath. Dream’s cool eyes slides over watching him. Hob is fighting for his life as he tries to avoid more mobs.

“Hob, you seem to be in some trouble,” Dream points out.

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock - fuck!” Hob quickly seals himself in a hole eating as much food as he could to regain his health.

“… do you need some help?” You speak up. You are currently putting paintings up on the wall, and breaking them until you get the perfect one.

Hob sighs, “I’m fine, I’ll be home in a second. I just don’t want to lose all my stuff.”

You smile at him, “Ok.”

Dream held back his amused smile.

…

“Hob! Fuck where are you,” you shriek. Your character ran past a spawn of creepers.

“I - uh … hold on I’ll find you!”

Unfortunately for you, you and Hob accidentally split off in this cave leaving you alone and surrounded. Not to mention little food.

“Ok, I’ll just -“

A familiar hiss followed with a boom made you and Hob wince. Dream glance over at you. You let out a long heavy sigh. His eyes look back at the screen seeing the respawn button.

“Did you die?” Dream asks.

“Yup.”

Hob begin, “And your bed -“

“I brought it with me.”

“Should I -“

“Please find my stuff and come find me I have no idea how to get back to the house.”

[bingusmode]

Roses are red, Sniper is Blue

Blue Sniper x Reader

AN: Your class name is Assist in this story

Blue Sniper could hear his teammates dying. Even worse, he could see the Red Team heading towards his current hiding spot.

“Shit, shit, shit!”

Sniper hissed, quickly taking into account his weaponry.

Sniper rifle? Out of bullets

Machete? Currently sticking out of a red scouts body

Jars of piss? He has a surplus of them.

He ran through the options in his head, he could fight. Which depending on which red team member he was facing, meant that he wouldn’t be blessed with a quick death.

Or he could hide, seemingly a better. More risky option.

Sniper shoved his body behind a stack of Mann Co. barrels. Squeezing his body in-between the cheap metal and the wall.

Seconds later, the door was kicked in. Sniper could see it bounce off the wall before the Red Medic strolled in, syringe gun at the ready.

Sniper immediately started sweating, remembering how Blue Spy couldn’t respawn for a week because Red Medic kept his head in the fridge. Who does that?

Following the Medic was someone he saw plenty of, but didn’t know much about. Assist.

“Doc, you’re sure he’s here?”

“Of course I am! I saw the reflection from his rifle”

Assist step further into the room, spotting the dropped sniper rifle

“He might have already ran-“

“And leave his weapon?”

“If he was desperate enough, he has no backup. Blue team is gone expect for him,”

Assist only confirmed what sniper already knew.

He tried to keep his breathing even, doing his best not to he seen.

He had only seen Assist through his scope, and while she wasn’t bad to look through his weapon. Sniper realized she looked even better in person.

And while he prides himself of distancing his emotions from his work. A pretty girl is a pretty girl, and Sniper can appreciate that. He is only a man after all.

He counted the seconds off his head, hoping they would leave soon. Assist stepped closer, moving around boxes.

“Medic, I don’t really think he’s-“

She kicked over a barrel, just catching Snipers shades in the shadows.

“Here…”

“Did you find him?”

Assist just stared at him and Sniper stared back. She blinked, Sniper could see her weighing her options in her head before taking a breath.

“No,”

Sniper watched with confusion as she placed the barrel back where it was. Once again, hiding him completely.

“He’s not here Medic”

“The coward probably ran…and I needed new organs too”

Medic whined, holstering his weapon.

“There’s literally a dead Spy outside, you killed him”

“His organs aren’t fresh…and I already have his spleen,”

“Gross”

Sniper watched as the two walked off. Opting to stay completely silent until they were a safe distance away.

He drug himself up from his hiding spot, taking a deep breath of fresh air as he did so.

He was sweating, his heat beating too fast and his hands shaking. Somehow he knew it wasn’t from the close encounter with death he just had.

“…bugger”

Sniper considered himself a rather sane individual, but what he was doing was anything but the sort.

Sneaking into Red Base at night? Might as well be signing his death warrant.

He didn’t even know why, he was doing this, it just felt right. From a distance, Sniper quickly set up his scope, peering into the glass. From across the way he could see the Red Lounge, every team member either relaxing or nursing their wounds after todays fight.

There was only one member Sniper was concerned about. Assist was dozing off on the couch, Sniper all too familiar with how Red Team runs her ragged during battles.

And so he waits, he waits and waits until Assist drags herself up, stretching to get her blood flowing.

Tracking her through his scope, he watches her bid her team goodnight and exit the lounge. From there it wasn’t hard to follow her movements to her quarters. Through the slits in her blinds, Sniper could just make out her form. If he wanted to, he could have increased his scope and glanced at her changing into nightclothes. Using restraint, Sniper put down his scope and lay still, not daring to move until he saw the light in her room go out.

It was easy enough shimming up the drain pipe to her window, placing a Blue rose he had stolen from Pyros garden on the edge of it.

‘There, we’re even’ he thought while running back to his own base. This was settled, no more sneaking up to a pretty girls window. Whatever debt he owed to her was paid.

That’s what he kept telling himself anyway. During battles, Sniper had a habit of “checking in” on Assist. It was only natural to keep tabs on your enemy.

“Just to keep her in sight” he mutters to himself, following her figure around the war zone. Red didn’t have the lead this time, Blue team was back for blood. And blood they did have.

The ground was soaked in it, the hot sun doing little to help. Sniper adjusted his scopes on Assist, getting to view her closer.

He frowned, sucking his teeth when he saw she wasn’t doing well.

Assist had backed herself into a semi hidden corner, using the shelter to patch her wounds up.

Sniper took his gaze away from his scope, looking around the field for her teammates. It wasn’t often she was left alone, especially if she was insured.

He got his answer when he spotted his Pyro lighting a bonfire with the bodies of Red Team, all but missing one of course.

Quickly switching back to his scope, to his shock, Assist was gone.

“What the hell?”

Sniper reevaluated the field, trying to spot any glimpse of her. The fight wasn’t called off yet, so she was still alive.

“Come on Bird, where are you?” Sniper muttered, his focus on his own team gone.

He received his answer once the door to his sniper perch was broken into.

Assist dragged herself up through the door, covered in blood and god knows what else. How she made it up the latter was a miracle itself.

Groaning and spitting curses to herself, Assist seemed preoccupied in shutting and locking the door again, placing a crate over it for safety. Not realizing her real threat was in the perch with her.

Sniper just watched carefully, he knew she wasn’t the type to give up easy, but this was a whole new level.

It wasn’t until she started to move a second crate that he spoke up.

“That’s really not necessary”

Assist shrieked at the sudden voice, nearly losing her balance whipping around to face Sniper

“How long have you been here?”

“The whole match, how long have you been bleeding?”

“The whole match”

Assist went to grab her hunting knife but remembered she didn’t have it, she didn’t have anything. Sniper felt a twinge in his chest, he didn’t want her to see him as a threat. He could be nice, he could be gentlemanly.

“Calm down Bird, it’s just us up here”

“That’s what I’m worried about,”

She was a smart girl, not being quick to let her guard down.

Sniper slowly set his rifle down, and kicked it across the room. Skidding to a stop against the wall.

“There, and I don’t have my machete on me either, I’m not gonna hurt you,”

He put his hands up to show he wasn’t a threat. Of course he still was, who else was picking off her teammates during the fight.

It took a minute, but Assist relented. Dropping like a rag-doll to the floor, leaning back against the crates. Sniper joined in, sitting across from her.

“Feeling friendly today?”

“Just towards you Bird,”

Assist smiled, using whatever little energy she had left to do so.

“Aren’t you sweet,”

“Just returning the favor”

She laughed and Sniper wanted to hear that sound more, preferably off the battle field.

“I have a strange suspicion that you were the one to drop off that rose,”

Blood was soaking the wooden floorboards now, whatever medpack she had gotten only helped minimally.

“Had to pay off my debt somehow,” Sniper took off his hat, setting it down beside him

“Women like flowers don’t they?”

Assist nodded, her smile still lingering

“I do, but I prefer babies breath myself. Roses are my third favorite”

“Only third?”

She hummed in confirmation, Sniper saw her getting ashen by the minute. It wouldn’t be long now with her rate of blood loss.

Assist blinks over at Sniper, a question lingering in her eyes.

“Does that make us even? A flower for a life?”

“Not even close Bird, I think I still owe you”

Not that he minded owing her, especially if it meant seeing her more often.

“Mm, maybe we could make it even”

“I’m listening,”

Assist took a deep breath, a rattle forming in her ribs.

“Win the match for your team” she nudges her head towards his rifle

“A life for a life”

“I don’t think you wanna do that Bird”

“You would be doing me a favor sending me to respawn, better than letting me bleed out here…on this dirty ass floor.”

Sniper laughed, but it didn’t distract from the pit forming in his stomach. He had taken out her teammates no problem, but her? He wasn’t sure he could detach himself from that.

“Bird-“

“Just made it quick, and make sure my next flowers are even prettier”

“And how are you sure you’ll be getting flowers?”

“Just a hunch”

She winked at him, a playful smirk gracing her lips.

He hated how he was willing to go along with her plan, just because she asked.

Slowly, Sniper stood up and retrieved his rifle. The pit in his stomach getting bigger and bigger with each step he took towards her.

“You sure about this Bird?”

“Just make it quick, you can pay me back later,”

Assist tipped back her head and closed her eyes, completely relaxed.

“…I’ll get you the biggest bouquet at the store”

A shot rang out and Blues victory was declared. Victory was sweet, but not for Sniper. For the first time in years, he could feel his hands shaking holding his rifle.

Assist stepped out the respawn machine, stretching her aching muscles. Scout immediately threw an ice pack at her, Assist barely dodging it

“Well there’s princess, taking your sweet time huh?”

“Give me a break Scout, I held out longer than you did”

Engineer clapped her on the back, guiding her towards the mess hall

“Good work today, we’ll get them next time”

Assist thought wistfully back to her conversation with Sniper, she wouldn’t mind a next time. Maybe with less blood loss though.

“Yeah, next time,”

It took her awhile to get back to her room, after a long day. All she wanted to do was curl up and sleep. Until she got a glimpse of something on her windowsill. Opening the window, she retrieved a Bouquet of babies breath tied with blue bow.

She smiled to herself, looking out to see if her admirer was still watching. Assist leaned over the windowsill and blew a kiss into the night air. Hoping he saw it wherever he was.

Snipers cheeks burned at the gesture, as he made his way back to his own base.

All he could think about was how he could leave even prettier flowers at her window.

[dark-mnjiro]

speaking in tongues ::: prologue

Author’s Note: hello… as you can clearly see the voices have won. This fic is entirely self indulgent/self ship and catered to what I want and I don’t care. No vague reader insert here so if that’s what you were looking for - leave, before you’re disappointed. Welcome to my hellsona hell. I hope you do like the story despite how self indulgent it is.

Credits: dividers by @/cafekitsune

Content Warnings: See the masterlist for a full list of content warnings you may experience throughout the storyline. Individual parts with certain triggers will be warned (that are not continuous throughout the story). Prologue does not contain anything I deem triggering outside the content warnings on the masterlist.

prologue

“For somebody I thought was my savior.”

“Hell’s growing population is becoming a problem…”

“They can’t kill each other,” another angel spoke up. “They just respawn in the Pride Ring again.”

The discussions with the top angels and Seraphim in Heaven had been droning on for hours. It was certainly posing a problem that their paradise could soon face an uprising with the sheer numbers spawning from Hell. Worry was evident on Sera’s face. Heaven knew they couldn’t just pray that humans would turn to righteousness and aim for a spot in Heaven.

The world had become infected.

Adam tilted his head to the side. This problem was clearly all thanks to his ex-wife, Lilith, and her piece of shit husband Lucifer. Who knew her voice alone would lead so many astray?

He sat up in his seat, stretching his arms over his head. “What if we gave them angelic weapons?”

Sera’s eyes narrowed at Adam. “Do what?”

Shrugging, he tilted his head. “We could just give them some angelic weapons. The problem takes care of itself.”

“And then what?” Another angel countered. “They turn and use those weapons against us?”

Adam scowled.

It was a valid concern. If those sinners could obtain angelic weapons could they turn on Heaven?

“What if we had them vote on some sinners to throw into an arena?” Adam suggested, tilting back his chair on its hind legs. “And whoever is last standing gets to live."

A sigh fell from Sera’s lips before sitting down in her seat. “We’re making a game out of their souls.”

“Sinners,” Adam corrected. “They’re in Hell as a punishment for being such awful human beings on Earth. It only makes sense to make them punish themselves for doubling their numbers. And tell you what.” Adam merely smirked. “If this idea doesn’t work… we just go down there and start exterminating pests.”

“Adam.”

Confusion filled his golden eyes. “What? Sinners can’t be fixed. We might as well get rid of the problem. They won’t suspect anything if they’re killing themselves versus us. So perhaps we try this option first.”

“How many times do I have to tell you we aren’t using violence as a way to control Hell’s population,” Sera said before sighing again as Adam let out a loud, painful groan. Pinching her nose, she looked down at the reports she had been given by some of the other angels about the growing trend of sinners entering Hell. “I think we should study them before we make our final decision…”

“So we done here?”

The frustration returned to Sera’s face as she glanced back at Adam. “Pressing matters to attend to Adam?”

Pouting, he set the chair back onto all four legs. “Well, my band-”

“Perhaps we should give you something more constructive to do,” Sera continued as if she hadn’t heard him. “We’ll send you to Hell… to the embassy to help with these studies. Return with your findings after ninety days.”

Disgust filled his face. “I’m not going to that shit hole!” Three months in Hell?! Was Sera out of her mind?

“It’s already decided. Go.”

“...fucking fine.”

[turbulentscrawl]

Helloo!, I love your writing so much I actually redownloaded tumblr to be here🙏

I'm such a fool for angst, if you're willing could you do a part two of "reminders of the horrors"?(specifically luchino's part it's so good), perhaps showing the aftermath once the reader "respawns"?

Any excuse to write my favorite lizard man ewe

Just Luchino for now, I'll do this for the others if requested later

warnings: hurt&comfort, mentions of gore and body horror

‘Come see me when you’re ready,’ the note had said. It was Luchino’s penmanship, that sharp, semi-cursive scrawl. You weren’t ready—your throat still ached like the gaping wound was there—but you went to him anyway, out of concern.

And you had right to be, you realized, when you found Luchino sitting at the desk in his office space with dark circles under his eyes. Though he was obsessed with his work, it was unlike Luchino to forego sleep. He glances up when the door creaks open and shuts his notes as soon as he registers that it’s you, yet another odd thing.

“There you are,” he says, softly. “Come here.” He looks you over from his seat, watches as you come in, close the door behind you, and lock it. He pushes his chair away from the desk and holds out his hand to you. It’s an invitation you’re familiar with, but the mood is different. Heavier. Your hand slides into Luchino’s like a key into a lock, and he guides you to sit on his lap. Once you’re comfortable, he props his feet up on his desk, and keeps you flush against his chest with his other arm around your waist.

“You should have rested more,” Luchino sighs with that slight hiss of his. His thumb caresses your knuckles. “It still hurts, doesn’t it? It’s probably best you don’t speak for a while.” Your expression must give away your shock at his knowing because he chuckles. His jaw shifts as he chews on a thought, working it into words you’re not sure he’s going to say. But after several long moments of this, Luchino tips his head back to stare at the ceiling, seeming deflated. You kiss the column of his throat, and though it doesn’t seem to soothe him it at least puts the ghost of a smile on his face.

“I still remember turning into a Hunter,” he admits. You freeze almost violently, first with complete shock, then confusion. You came along after Luchino did…but according to everyone else the Evil Reptilian had been at the manor first. Luchino glances at you from the corner of his eye and continues. “Time works strangely here. Everyone knows that, but…I don’t particularly expect anyone to believe me when I say he came from me. It sounds preposterous, after all.

“But I can recall living here before my Hunter-self with great clarity, and I can remember all the agony of my change into him. The growing pains, the structural change of bones and muscle, the burning growth of scales, and ache of carnivorous teeth pushing mine out…. Some days it feels like it’s still happening.” Luchino’s voice falls as he explains it all, until he’s speaking only in a whisper. He faces you again, your noses almost touching. “I remember knowing with great certainty that I was becoming a creature who could not resist his impulses. And not caring at all.”

“Why have you never told me about this?” You ask, croaking, sympathetic tears welling in your eyes.

“Oh, don’t make such a face for me,” Luchino coos and chuckles. He lets go of your hand to instead stroke your cheek with gentle fingers. “I’m not telling you now for pity.”

No, you already know why he’s telling you. You know him well enough to see the turmoil behind his composure. He’s worried for you, for the lingering pains like his own, and ashamed of the version of himself that caused them. He’s a dominant partner; it was his job to possess and protect you, and he felt he had gone against that in some twisted way.

“And I don’t need yours,” you assert. Luchino’s eyebrows twitch up, amused at your sternness. “Death will happen here, it’s an inescapable part of our lives. So when it comes for me, when it hurts…just kiss it better for me.”

Luchino barks a single laugh, smiling wide and adoringly. For just a moment, you think his eyes look a little misty. His lips meet your cheek, your jaw, your sore throat. His one arm coils tighter around you, the other falling to rub your thigh, and when you exhale it feels like melting into him.

“That, my treat, I can certainly do.”

[phantom-dc]

Dad Hood - part 7

It’s been a few days since Jason brought Tim some of Danny’s hair. He’d checked on Tim’s coffee stash and agreed with Alfred.

‘Goddamn, Tim! I said you could hide your coffee in that safehouse, not fill it!’

Oh well, it would be worth it. In those few days he’d been waiting, Danny’s list of powers had only grown. He took another look at his notebook:

Invisibility

Cryokinesis

Flight

Soul-pulling-out-powers???

Destructive scream

Lasers

Super strength

(Flying) Superspeed

Photokineses

Shields

Jason was getting worried. Thank god Tim was done with his research. He was confused as to why Tim insisted on meeting him instead of just sending him the list of people Danny was made up off. Jason did NOT want to think that the list was so big Tim wanted to give it himself.

Thank goodness Tim landed on the roof. Jason didn’t think he could wait any longer. Before Jason could say anything, Tim cut him off.

‘You have some explaining to do.’

Jason rolled his eyes. ‘I already told you, RR. I’m investigating a possible Respawn clone. Do you have the list I asked for? I need to kno-‘

‘Oh, don’t start with that bullshit. I know you’re lying!’

Jason was confused. ‘What? Why do you think I’m lying? Do you have the results or not?’

Tim looks angry. ‘Hood, you know full well there’s only 2 people on that list.’

Jason gets annoyed at Tim’s attitude: ‘Fine, so it’s Slade and who? Killer Frost? Superman? Give me details, man!’

‘It’s not Slade. It matches partially with Talia and you.’

Jason’s blood goes cold. ‘Tim, what do you mean?’

Tim rolls his eyes. ‘Look man, if you have a kid that’s one thing. But if you needed a paternity test you could’ve-‘

Jason grabs Tim by the arms. ‘TIM, WHAT DO YOU MEAN: MY KID!?!’

Tim finally realizes Jason honestly has no clue. ‘Wait, you didn’t know?’

‘NO, TIM! I DIDN’T! WTF YOU MEAN HE’S MY KID!?!’

Tim shakes Jason off. ‘Ok, easy man! Calm down! Deep breaths!’

Jason slumps down. Tim takes pity on him.

‘Ok, let’s take a step back, J. I need to know where you got this sample.’

Jason looks at him, and motions for Tim to follow him. As he climbs through Jason’s window, he wonders why they’re there.

‘So, did you have some files you wanted to show me, or-‘

���INTRUDER ALERT!’

Tim is tackled from the side, sending him into the couch.

‘OH MY GOD!’

Tim tries to wrangle the kid off, but he can’t get a grip.

‘Get off me!’

Jason comes over and picks Danny up.

‘Jason! There’s a stranger here!’

Jason ruffles Danny’s hair.

‘Good job, kiddo. Never trust strangers that climb through your windows. But you can calm down. This is my brother, Red Robin.’

Danny tilts his head sideways. ‘Yum?’

Jason laughs. ‘No, not that Red Robin!’

Pulling Tim up, he introduced him.

‘RR, this is Danny, my… kid.’

Tim sees Jason having some more panic, and takes over. Kneeling down he talks to Danny.

‘Hi Danny! You’re a friend of Jason, right? You can call me Tim!’

Danny is hiding behind Jason’s leg. Tim says Jason asked him some help in figuring out where Danny came from. Danny becomes curious.

‘Did you find out?’

Jason picks Danny of the ground, so he’s on eye level with Tim.

‘Well, no. But I did find out something interesting? Turns out, Jason’s your daddy! Did you know that?’

Danny looks at Jason, and he looks amazed.

‘You are? That’s awesome! I always wanted to meet you!’

This surprises Jason. ‘Wait, you knew that I was your dad?’

Danny shakes his head.

‘No, not that. But mom and dad always said I wasn’t their bo…bia…’

Tim helps out: ‘Their biological child?’

Danny nods. ‘Yeah! So I was wondering who my mommy and daddy are!’

Jason is very tired and needs sleep, so he decides to cut this short.

‘It’s great to find out, but it’s very late. How about we go to sleep now, and tomorrow we’ll celebrate with cake?’

Danny cheers. ‘YAY, CAKE! Goodnight Daddy!’

He climbs out of Jason’s arms and goes to bed, wanting to sleep so he can get cake quicker. Jason head is spinning from being called daddy so quickly. Tim just looks at Jason.

‘You need to tell me everything. NOW.’

First - Previous - Next - AO3

[scumbagjaeger]

I LOVED UR GAMER SNK MEN HCS!! what about reader as a gamer 👀??

SNK MEN WITH GAMER!READER

starring: Eren, Jean, Armin, Connie, Porco, Reiner, Levi, Zeke

rating: mostly sfw! 18+

notes: Thanks so much for the request!! My first ask (‘: I added some of the other men because even though they might not understand video games, they can still support their partner hahah. Is there anyone else you guys would want to see included in these headcanons? Erwin? Bertholdt? Should I do some with the ladies? Let me know! Thanks for your continued support(:

EREN:

If you’re on the same team he’s supporting you 100%, doing whatever he can to help you out if you’re getting targeted or something

If you get killed? He’s going after the fucker who took you out at least ten times (or until you tell him it’s okay you’ve respawned!! He can chill!!)

But if you’re playing against him? Good luck because he’s going to target you hahah

He thinks it’s cute how whiny you get when he snipes you or gets you with his ultimate

“Sorry, (y/n), you gotta be better than that”

This man is so cocky oh lord

Secretly, when you get him back he gets so flustered? But you can’t tell because he just scoffs and tells you that he let you get him

Man’s is sportin a boner through under his desk lmao!! It’s hot seeing you take control what can I say

He invites you to the discord but then immediately regrets it because Jean will constantly try and talk about you

Jean is a homie! But he thinks you’re cool and it pisses Eren off whenever he asks you to check your dms so it’s a win-win (he just sends you memes lol)

Eren’s friends are all chill with you playing but he still likes to remind them that you’re dating

“Eren did you fucking set my house on fire” “that’s what you get for giving (y/n) a flower dumbass” “bro they needed it to make DYE you idiot”

You guys have a minecraft house together and it’s super cute! Eren will definitely let you decorate while he collects materials for you. Or you both will go on adventures together(:

If you’re playing alone he’s super supportive too! Totally down with you having time with your friends online

In between his matches with the boys he’ll come up behind you and kiss your head, not wanting to interrupt too much

But sometimes he’ll fully move your headset off of one ear and start backseat gaming

“You should use your ultimate after your teammate uses theirs. Theirs will freeze the enemy and then your pure damage will take them out… okay good now go over here and—“

After your matches he’s super affectionate ahhh

Wraps his arms around you from behind and plants a big ol’ kiss on your cheek

“M’girl did so good!!”

JEAN:

He’d be a touch cringey lmao

Insists on you both having his-and-hers desk-mats. Gives you a custom mousepad with a picture of you both on it for your birthday and the image turns out kind of wonky

He’s be heartbroken if you don’t use it though!! So you better

One day you come home and he’s rearranged half the apartment so you can have a gaming room together with your desks facing each other

But this ends terribly bc he can be too loud sometimes and he gets distracted by you

Invites you to the discord and then asks you privately if you can coordinate your nicknames online to be like “his (y/n)” and “her Jean” AA

The others never stop giving him shit for it

But he loves you! And he’s so glad you have this hobby in common

Might get a little salty about you playing with your friends without him

If you have a full team that’s fine!! But if he finds out you have a random on your team…

“Why didn’t you ask me to join?” “Babe you were in the middle of your own match!!” “So? I could have quit and joined >:(“

Probably super friendly with your friends and playgroup! Will happily hop on and play with y’all and he behaves himself

Not oblivious to the fact that some of your friends might think he’s cute/flirt with him a little bit?? But he’s confused because he has you so why are they talking to him like that

Doesn’t confront them but shuts them down respectfully(:

“No I can’t give you flowers because these ones are for (y/n) I’m surprising her with them because I love her!! I’m sure you can find your own though(:”

If you’re playing DOTA or League together he’s still garbage :( sorry hahah

Gets flustered by playing with you and then fucks up more

“Babe, can you come help me? The guys keep ganging up on me”

But he is SO PROUD OF HIMSELF whenever he can help you out!!

“Don’t worry, princess, I’ve got your back” “Dude you died four times just trying to get to (y/n)” “Shut the fuck up, Connie”

While you’re gaming you’ll reach for your drink and see it’s miraculously filled up? And there’s a little piece of your favorite candy next to it? You turn around and just see Jean sneaking back over to his desk oh lord

ARMIN:

surprise surprise, he is a total sweetheart

You two probably play a lot together just the two of you before he invites you the join their discord?

He just thinks there’s something really intimate about you both playing games together, without others

And you still definitely do that!! Armin would be the type of guy who would invite you to play games with him hahah

“Hey, (y/n)? I was wondering if you’d want to maybe play Civ 6 with me tomorrow night? Maybe we can make dinner together beforehand!”

He is the best player 2 when you guys play games, especially story games!

But similar to Eren, if you guys are on opposite teams he will show no mercy :)

“Sorry! I can’t help it” “Armin you literally CAN you’re looking for me to kill me” “oops! I’ll go easy on you, my bad!”

He never goes easy on you

He’s the best player out of his friends but he probably isn’t on every night like Eren and Connie are hahah. The nights he is on though he’s on all night!

If you stay up with him, expect super lazy mornings where you slip out of bed past noon and make pancakes together

Expect super lazy afternoon-sex where he just kind of lies on top of you LMAO, gently holds you and cradles you underneath him as he buries his face into your neck, you’re both so tired from a night of gaming but he loves getting to spend that time with you

If he’s reading or doing homework and you’re gaming, he leaves you be!

He thinks it’s important to have privacy and alone time (and he’s right)

But he’ll also come up to you after your game ends, put his hands on your shoulders and ask how your match went!

If you ask him to coach you during a match he’s actually super supportive and helpful? Unlike if you’re playing a co-op game with him hahah

He also probably likes getting to train you and teach you! He wants you to be the best(:

If he’s feeling particularly clingy he’ll just move a chair to sit next you your gaming desk and read next to you lmao

Not even talking or distracting you! He just finds the keyboard clicks and your voice calming

Okay I want to make random college headcanons for the boys should I ever write a fic, and Armin would also make models?? I’m thinking warhammer or DnD ones (DnD with the squad headcanons? 👀) imagine him with a headlamp and big ol’ glasses so he can get a detailed paint job!

And he’d custom make a model of your main in their costume and surprise you with it on your anniversary! It takes him weeks to make :')

CONNIE:

omg he’d be an ass

You know those memes about the pick me characters? He’d jokingly accuse you of that

“Idk do you really know how to play COD? Or are you just trying to hang with the bros” “Connie I literally kicked your ass last night what do you mean” “Fair point”

Probably just teases you a lot during the games in general

“Babe if you press Q while holding your diamond pickaxe it’ll make you mine obsidian faster” “Wait (y/n) don’t that’ll throw your pickaxe into the la—"

Seconds later: *conniespringaa tried to swim in lava*

In a match those he’s actually the most supportive I’d argue? He totally lets you do your thing, whereas Armin and Eren might still have you try and follow their lead

“Where you goin’, mama? Damn atta girl! I’ve gotcha, don’t worry (y/n)” literally just follows you around the map to be backup and to hype you up!

In my last set of hcs Connie was a streamer! If you also streamed he’d be obsessed with doing those fun collabs with you

Either that or he’d be like “ew guys this weirdo is trying to join my discord call rn lemme see what she wants— hello? Do I know you? Always happy to meet a fan but how did you get my discord?”

Idk why he thinks pretending he doesn’t know you is the funniest thing ever?? You guys start a new match with his friends and suddenly he spends the whole game chirping at you

“Damn mama where have you been all my life? You got a man? Why don’t you let me get your number, I bet you look fine as hell in real life” “Connie if you don’t shut the fuck up right now I’m going to lose it”—Eren

He’s so much fun to play story games with though! I’m thinking Detroit: Become Human

He’ll sit next to you and let you control things and he’ll do voices for the characters (he’ll even turn down the game voices so he can impersonate the characters instead)

Makes Connor and the other androids it sound like literal robots, add in extra comments, etc

Honestly I think Connie would be the best at voices? He does super great impressions of his friends and will share them a lot on discord while you’re all playing minecraft, to their dismay :)

Sometimes if he isn’t playing with you he’ll just send you a DM asking you to stream so he can watch? So cute

Too embarrassed to ask you in person but you just got used to streaming on discord now so he can hop on and watch from his computer

PORCO:

I feel like he’s pretty independent when it comes to gaming ngl so when he finds out you are a gamer he just kind of like “oh word? Cool”

Since he plays a lot of games like FIFA and GTA, he usually plays those while you do your thing

Idk why but I also feel like he would be the type of guy to have a spotless apartment? Takes pride in his cleanliness so he’s usually cleaning the apartment while you game

Which is okay with him! He likes hearing you talk to your friends

To him, gaming is kind of his thing to do when he wants to be alone? Even when he’s playing with other people it’s kind of like his private time

So when you’re playing with your friends he lets you have space!

He and Jean are probably the two gamers who would want to spend more time with you outside of the apartment doing things anyway!

But if you want to play with him he’s totally down!

He’s a pretty casual gamer but you can still expect him to get heated, especially if he thinks someone is targeting you or cheating

“No, Porco it’s okay! I made a bad play that’s all” “no (y/n) there’s no way he could have hit you from there, something’s going on”

He will make dinner while you’re gaming and surprise you with it after your match! Even though you can smell it from your desk lmao

“C‘mon, dummy, it’s getting cold,” he’ll call out and gestures to the chair he’s holding out for you

He scoots you in once you’ve sat and he asks you about how your matches are going

If you lost he’ll slide your dessert away from you and then say “sorry, winners only” 😐😐

He’s still not the most active when it comes to their DOTA or League games, but he invites you in to play with his friends so it’s okay!

Eventually he starts to insists on you being in their discord call while they’re playing just so that he can talk to you while you’re playing your own solo game or something!

Don’t get me wrong he still likes his private gaming time and thinks you deserve your own gaming time! But he quickly warms up to the idea of you being together and sharing that time together

REINER:

Okay I love Reiner to pieces yeah? But this man does not understand video games before he meets you

He just doesn’t understand the point??

“Why not just go outside and do something, love?”

He’ll comfort you if you get emotional playing a game like the Last of Us, but then he’ll ruin it by saying “I mean, they’re all dead when you think about it, yeah? They've never actually been alive! They’re not real, sweetie”

But he’s trying to comfort you I promise

I think if there was a game you could get him to play it would be a Dark Souls/Elden Ring type game! I think the dramatic music and fight scenes would pique his interest as he walks past your desk

After watching you fight Malenia or something he says he’ll give it a try

And then he loses to the Tree Sentinel and you have to comfort him. “Babe, that’s kind of the point, you have to go and level up first!” He thought he could impress you oh lord

Otherwise he’d love to watch you play Stardew Valley! Loves the characters and thinks that the heart events are super special

You might be able to convince him to start his own game of Stardew Valley, but he’s busy a lot and feels guilty about ‘abandoning them’, so he prefers to watch you play!

Will also cook you dinner and make sure your water is full while you play! He likes to watch you play and loves seeing you all happy when you’re winning

Sometimes he will try and hug you while you’re playing because he loves seeing you do something you love, but then you have to remind him that you’re in the middle of a game!

“So how was your game!” “It was good! Eren always plays aggro so he took most of the attention away from me!” “There’s a character named Eren in your game? Huh,” it takes him a second to understand that you’re playing with REAL PEOPLE

LEVI:

Just like Reiner (honestly all of these men who don’t understand video games) he doesn’t see the point? Like why not go outside and do something?

Kind of rolls his eyes at the games you play despite him not knowing about them

But he secretly takes pride in the fact that you’re sometimes the one taking control and bossing the others around

He’ll hear you tell Eren to shut up so you can focus and he’ll sneak behind you and peer over your head, maybe smooth out your hair a bit to let you know he’s there

You can talk to him about your games and he’ll listen but he’ll definitely not understand any of it

He’ll respond with a lot of “Ah”s and “Oh, I see” and “..is that good or bad?”

Silently brings you tea when you’re playing late and will usually stay up reading on the couch while you do! He’s a classy guy, likes to go to bed with you

Sometimes he’ll fall asleep on the couch so you have to wake him up :(

He just kind of shuffles over and wordlessly invites you to sleep with him there, cradled in his arms on the couch

I don’t think there’s any way you could get him to play a video game though, sorry

This is Levi Ackerman, who doesn’t understand how twitter works hahah

If you get upset over a loss he doesn’t really know how to comfort you, but he’ll kind of sneak over and mutter something like “that kid’s a bastard anyway” and kiss your head

ZEKE:

Will straight up tell you to go outside and touch grass if he thinks you’ve been inside too long

He’ll pick you up from your desk and try and carry him out to go on a walk with him or something after a match lmao!

Will ask you what is so exciting about your games and why you’d rather do that than do something with him :( poor Zeke

But he just says those kinds of things to get a rise from you lmaoo! He’s glad you have some hobby because it lets him also have private time, like Porco I think Zeke would like some space to do his own thing every now and then

Or maybe he’s just busy and glad you can keep yourself busy? I headcanon him to be going into a medical field like his dad! So Dr. Jaeger knows that you won’t be too lonely while he’s at work

You can get him to play surgeon simulator when he’s in a good mood. He thinks it’ll be easy. Ooh boy

He doesn’t become addicted or anything but when he fails, he insists that he can do it and he’s trying again. And again. And again.

Genuinely likes seeing you have a hobby and is impressed with your ability to balance your responsibilities and have time to unwind with a game

Likes to see you kill Eren in whatever game you’re playing, even minecraft hahah

Judges you for playing animal crossing though? Sorry he thinks it’s a kids game?

“…So you owe the raccoon money, huh?” 😐

You tell him he’d be a grumpy villager and he ruffles your hair before walking away with a huff hahah

Thanks again for the ask and your support! Ngl my ex boyfriend was a shitty gamer like he would ignore me a lot so this is my therapy now, imagining better gamer boyfriend scenarios for my attack on titan men :) hahah but thanks again for reaching out I hope I did it justice!

As always, thanks for reading! Feel free to drop an ask for more!

[bots-and-cons]

Aye! can I request a Tfp X reader where the reader has the ability to go to other universes (like videogames, aus and other stuff) and they accidentally put team prime into the minecraft universe and has to defeat the ender dragon to get out. (also they have to fight in classic minecraft style)

I love Minecraft, it's my favorite game and I've been playing it for like ten years. I play it almost everyday if I have time, even if it's just for ten minutes between school work. This was a bit challenging to write because I had to do it from the perspective that they’re all players in a way. I only picked five bots, since it’s easier to manage and these still ended up pretty long

•You’re the minecraft pro in this situation and well the team is absolutely clueless

•Sure they’ve seen you play it on your laptop before, but to be in the game? Nononono

•It just happened by accident, and you sort of pulled the team in with you

•So you all get plunged into this darkness and before you knew it, there’s a familiar blue sky with connected cube clouds

•You look around and realize there are five other players around you and they’re all looking around, very confused

•Minecraft skins don’t have a very good resolution but you do recognize everyone, since they’ve got their colors and even though it’s a very simplistic teh designs are obvious

•Everyone is pretty much freaking out, because they have no idea what’s going on and they can’t pull out their blasters

•They can’t transform either and that’s super weird to everyone

•You’re pretty much laughing, because you’ve been in the Minecraft universe before and you know how to get out

•You start explaining how things work and everyone starts punching trees

•Bee is very excited to get a sword, even though it’s just a wooden one

•Like everyone gets all the necessary tools, but Bee is mostly focused on the sword

•Bulk really likes the pickaxe and Arcee’s swinging around a sword as well

•Optimus gets an axe and he’s very efficient at cutting down trees

•You tell him that you need to survive the night and that you need to kill some sheep so you can sleep, which everyone is appalled by

•Optimus is especially not on board with the idea, but he doesn’t protest after you explain you’re basically in a game and that they’re not actual animals

•You don’t manage to get beds for everyone so you can’t sleep the night away and have to fight the mobs and build a little wooden hut

•You build while the others try to keep the mobs away

•Bulk gets blown up by a creeper and barely survives, and Arcee gets has a bit of trouble with a skeleton

•Ratchet fights zombies and luckily no one manages to look at an enderman

•You get the tiny house built and you’re all huddled up inside of it so no one takes too much damage

•You tell them that even if they die in the game, they’re just gonna respawn and have to keep going

•You start making progress with the game and you end up in they caves to find diamonds

•You’ve instructed them all what to do and how to survive best and even though the cave adventure ends up being all mayhem

•Creepers, spiders, zombies and skeletons all around

•When you get out of the caves Bee sees a bee floating around and he’s just pointing at it and buzzing, because it’s so big

•He tries to pet it which obviously doesn’t end well and he gets super sad when it stings him and dies

•You teach them to use bows and swords and ender pearls

•You venture to the nether with the team and Ratchet falls into lava immediately

•You’ve got keep inventory on, so no stuff was lost but he screamed the whole way he fell

•He has to survive in the overworld alone while the rest of the team is in the nether with you, because he can’t find the portal

•You get the blaze rods from the fortress and the ender pearls from the warped forest and you’re out

•Optimus has just been doing what  you’re telling him, because he wants out of there and you seem to know best

•You finally get to the end and you’ve assigned tasks to everyone, Bulk and Optimus are going in with the axes for the crits and Bee with the sword

•You and Arcee are going to take out the crystals with bows and shoot the dragon until it comes down

•Ratchet is on enderman watch and trying to keep you all safe from them with water buckets and by killing them

•You finally get to jump through the portal and you’re back at the base

•The little adventure feels like it was a fever dream and pretty much no time has passed in the real world

[sammy-writes-sometimes]

Word Count: 595

---------

“Jimmy, are you aware that you’re molting?” Tango asks bluntly.

“What?” He looks at them, confusion in his eyes. “I’m– I’m not a bird? I’m not even a hybrid, I’m just human!”

“Yeah? Well…” Fae points to the trail of bright, pretty-looking, golden feathers leading from the bed to the kitchen. “Explain that.”

Jimmy blinks, turning away from the pan in front of him as he simply stares.

Beside him, Tango leans against the counter. They seem to take him in, at least more than usual, but this time under an almost anxiety inducing glare.

Then, as Jimmy moves, the netherborn seems to wince. It’s an echo of pain as Jimmy rubs his shoulder, groaning slightly like he got hit by something.

“Jim, sit down for a bit, I can handle the pancakes and you can…” He twists his hand, leading back to the trail. “Clean up those, carefully.”

“Yeah, I’ll- I’ll do that…”

It doesn’t take long for the food to be finished, takes even less time for Jimmy to start picking up the feathers before he soon stops. Pain seeming to overcome the younger man, leaving him curled up in bed.

“Do you have chronic pain?” Tango asks simply.

“No? I’m just– I don’t know why, but it hurts a lot.”

Tango sighs before putting the plates to the side, they can worry about eating later when his soulmate isn’t in nearly as much pain.

That and after they’ve found out why this is all happening.

“Get on the bed and take off your shirt.”

“What?” Jimmy yelps.

The netherborn laughs. “Just– listen, I need to check something.”

He can’t help but find the dusting of pink, almost red, over Jimmy’s cheeks and ears at least a little adorable. But he does as told, shedding the fabric as–

His upper back is practically covered in feathers. Messy and uneven, looking like they’re never been preened a day in their life. Further upon this, some look to have small drops of blood on them, staining the gold underneath.

Jimmy lays on the bed with a groan, laying on his stomach as he hides his face in a pillow.

Once fae’re next to the bed, right beside Jimmy, fae hover a hand but… he’s in too much pain, likely wincing even at the smallest of touches.

“Did you know about this…?” He asks quietly.

JImmy remains silent, trying to hide even more.

“Did you– When did this happen? How long–”

“It wasn’t this bad last time!” Jimmy complains.

“‘This bad’? What do–”

“With– with every death, I’ve grown these feathers… it started on my second to last life last time, just a few, but– after we fell, and we respawned, there were more and–”

“You still should have–” Tango stops himself, fire crackling in his own ear.

They take a slow breath, evening out into some semblance of calm. At least by his usual standards.

“Sorry, you just– you worried me, Jimmy. Sorry…”

Tango places a hand onto their partner’s lower back, rubbing a gentle circle until he feels Jimmy melt into the touch.

“Do you want me to help with them? Some of the pain might be coming from unclean feathers and, according to Skizz, those tend to hurt a lot.”

“Please?” Jimmy whimpers, and if it hadn’t been for his partner’s obvious pain, or how worry is spinning in every single thought, he’d probably be getting other ideas.

“Alright, just stay still, can’t promise that this won’t hurt you.”

Jimmy stays quiet, but turns his head to smile up at Tango. “Thank you…”

[salemlunaa]

WE SHIFT ALL THE TIME, WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED??

the void and shifting aren’t that scary ༄

many people are in my dms, saying that they are avoiding the term “reality shifting” and maybe a lot of you guys have exaggerated this as i make alot of posts for my permashifters and respawners as not many people do

when it comes to "shifting realities", the term isn't as deep as you think, to shift realities you don't need a 360 change, sometimes it can be small, but that's all manifesting is, shifting realities. For example let's say you have blonde hair, if you were to watch a subliminal for natural jet black hair and you get it, you have just shifted to the reality where you have black hair, nothing else changed just that you now have jet black hair instead of blonde. You can have all you want while still keeping many aspects the same for example, friends or family, you don't need to change everything o shift

We are shifting all the time, another example, let’s say you’re out shopping with a friend and they ask wether the red skirt or the blue skirt would be better, you pick red and now you have shifted to the reality where that friend owns and wears that skirt, and if you were to pick blue you would have been in a different reality where your friend owns and wears a blue skirt. We shift with everything we do. Manifesting is shifting, Shifting is manifesting. The void is just a meditative state that allows us to change even the most “impossible” things without any resistance, but you’re changing shit everyday.

The reason i’m saying this is that i mostly speak about permashifting and respawning, so people automatically think that if they shift, everything will change drastically. It won’t. Although i love you guys so much, it’s the funniest shit ever when yall ask me if you’re ever gonna see your family again because you want to enter the void to change the colour of your eyes 💀 (like damn you lot can be so dramatic). You’re subconscious KNOWS you so whatever you don’t want will not be there and whatever you do want will be waiting for you, wether using the void or simply affirming, you don’t need to spell it out, because again the void isn’t some genie, it’s YOU and you know you!

And to those who want to respawn or permashift, i want you to see this message and know that shifting isn’t that deep, the void isn’t scary or some huge thing and what you want to do (shift realities) is something that you already do and have been doing since you came to be.

shifting is and will always be as easy as breathing

SHIFTING IS AS SIMPLE AS BLINKING, DONT LET IT CONFUSE OR SCARE YOU ❄️💋

[gravitytrips]

Part Four: Molded

Scout awoke in the BLU infirmary. That collar was no longer on his neck and the cloth-lined shackles had been replaced on his ankles and wrists. 

Oddly, Scout felt….fine. Like the events of the previous night never happened.

He looked down at his hands, splaying his fingers out so he could see them. To his shock, his fingernails were unbroken. Had his horrible sickness and desperation to escape been nothing but a dream? 

“Oh, so he finally wakes up. About time.” The twangy voice of the BLU Engineer said next to Scout.

Scout startled. He hadn’t realized that the Engineer had been sitting next to him.

The older man snapped the collar back onto Scout’s neck.

“Next time you go runnin’ out the base, I’ll just let ya die, y’hear?” The Engineer spoke in an irritated tone.

Scout nodded numbly. What was Engineer talking about? He hadn’t been out of his room at all last night. Scout just couldn’t keep quiet about this.

“Sir? What are you talking about? I didn’t leave my room last night.” Scout asked softly.

“Kid, what the hell’re you on about? You came runnin’ down the main hall last night, headed straight for the door. You’re lucky I pulled ya back before that collar o’ yer’s gave ya the lethal dose.”

Scout was confused. Had he been sleepwalking? Had it been a dream after all?

Scout studied the Engineer’s face. The man shifted uncomfortably, but his face remained calm. Odd.

Scout’s thoughts were interrupted by Engineer speaking again.

“Now if you’re done talkin’ nonsense, dinner’s ready. Tonight’s movie night, by the way, and doc said that I should invite you. Come if you want. The doc’ll take ya to yer room if ya don’t.”

Scout sat on the bed, puzzled.

As he slid off the bed and started after the Engineer, he couldn’t help but wonder: Just what is happening to me?

At dinner, Scout ate his pasta cautiously. He didn’t want to have a repeat of the night before. He stared at his food the whole time. Afraid to see those creepy looks again if he looked up. The BLUs chatted about how they had whipped RED in the match that day. Each gory death they described made Scout cringe.

Dinner was over quickly, and the BLU team filed out of the room and into the living room, where a movie was set up. They all chattered excitedly as they waited for someone to tell them what the movie would be.

Once the last man filed into the room, the door was shut, and strangely, locked. 

Scout sat in the corner, not wanting to agitate any of the BLUs. 

“It was th’ doc’s turn ta pick tha movie tonight, lads.” The team’s Demoman announced.

The Medic held up a stack of film reels.

“I have chosen the tapes from the testing of our beloved respawn machine.” The Medic said with a wide grin.

The BLU team cheered, seemingly ecstatic about this. Scout thought it would be boring, but he held his tongue as the team’s Heavy popped the first reel into the projector.

The words “THE RESPAWN MACHINE” splayed across the screen in a bright color and playful font. Scout was a little interested now.

All fascination Scout had drained away, along with the color in his face, as the first image appeared. A man, standing in front of the poorly-lit respawn machine. His eyes were gone. Blood ran down his face. Captions ran across the bottom of the screen, showing what the man in the film was saying. 

The BLU team all pointed at the screen and laughed like they had just seen the funniest thing in the world.

Scout’s eyes zipped around the room as the disturbing reel continued to play, and the BLU team continued to laugh. Questions bombarded Scout’s mind. What were they laughing at? What could possibly be so funny? What were they seeing that I’m not? Scout’s head spun as the disturbing images continued to play on the screen.

RED Spy paced back and forth in the rec room. The other RED mercenaries watched him as he went. Spy seemed not only worried, but terrified.

“Vhat is it, Spy? Vhat kind of danger is Scout in? You are she only vun zhat knows.” Medic inquired.

It was true, Spy did know. He had lived amongst the BLUs to do espionage while the BLU Spy was living in Medic’s fridge.

Or, well, his head was.

Anyways, his experience at BLU was what had him so worried.

“They knew I was the enemy Spy long before I realized they knew. They toyed with me, tortured my mind, then killed me. I have no doubts that they will not hesitate to do the same to Scout.”

Spy looked pointedly at Medic.

“You see docteur, while the fine people of this team have done some very brutal things to our prisoners, they were all physical. The BLUs on the other hand….”

Spy trailed off, a pained look in his eye.

“The BLUs are the masters of the psychological”

@aerowolf

@callme-adam-iguess

@paranoidginger

@wokeuptraveledstraightintothesun

@ratlordsarah

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - fifty-one | the byeol of ones and zeros

“And this is my library… Creeper!” San yelled and lunged behind you.

You jumped away, screaming. The explosion happened behind you and somehow didn’t affect you.

“Got it!”

“I almost died in your house! What did you do?”

“Maybe I have a spot with no light somewhere and it was enough to let it walk in.”

You followed San around for a few minutes while he searched the whole house.

“Oh, shit.”

“That’s a skylight if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Another one must have exploded it from the outside.”

San fixed the wall and added extra torches and then led you back to the library.

“Anyway. So that was the library. This is the blacksmithing room…” 

Your cuboidal avatar followed his and looked around.

“Wow… very nice.”

“Thank you, thank you. This is my virtual cat: her name is Byeol.”

“The Byeol of Ones and Zeros. I christen her this.”

San laughed. “I accept her new name.”

“First of her name.”

“First of her name!”

“We shall sup upon the morn, in her name!”

“You’ll sup on me?”

“No-- oh my god!”

San laughed riotously as you buried your face in your hands.

“That did not occur to me as I was saying that.”

San laughed again. “I didn’t know that was a kink of yours.”

“Oh GOD.”

YangYangGangGang: LOLOL TheNicestGuy: Ew QuackIsWhack✅: Caught in 4k UltimateHyung: Ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em! A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Got EEM! JohnnyYuta: Nugs are made of ChiKINKchin LeaBea: OMG lolol SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔

You groaned into your microphone. “Morn, I think we shouldn’t stream together anymore.”

“Why?” San sounded genuinely confused.

“My chat is roasting me right now.”

“Lemme see…” he navigated to your stream. “Roasting you like the chicken those nugs are made from?”

“Ahh! Morn!”

San laughed.

“Why are you so funny, and so fast.”

“Good schooling?”

“I hate you.”

He laughed again. “Then get out of my house.”

“Maybe I will!” You stomped - as much as your avatar could stomp - your way out of his Minecraft home and outside.

“Wait, Cat, it’s dark outside--”

“AHH!!”

Silence.

San laughed when he saw your death come up in the lower right corner of his screen.

“...Are you okay?”

“I DIED!”

He kept laughing, and you respawned at the bed you left in his house. San’s avatar walked in and looked at you.

“You okay, buddy?”

“All my stuff is gone.”

“You want some new stuff?”

“I don’t want to take your stuff. It’s your stuff.”

“I don’t mind if you take my stuff, I’m offering it to you. I have plenty of stuff.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, like a little kid afraid of getting into trouble.

“Of course, buddy. I wouldn’t offer it if I minded.” He replied, like someone talking to a pouty child.

“Mmm… I guess I could take it.”

“I’ll give you the rest of the tour and we can pick up stuff for you as we walk around the rooms. Okay?”

“...Okay.”

“Are you pouting?”

“...Maybe.”

“Don’t pout.”

“But I died… And now my chat is saying I’m bad at Minecraft!”

San laughed.

“Morn! Stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“You’re so mean.”

“I didn’t mean to laugh.”

“No… you can laugh. I’m bad at Minecraft.” You chuckled.

“Well, I’ll give you stuff and then we can play together, and you’ll beat the game, and then people will say you’re good at Minecraft because you beat it. How does that sound?”

“Will you let me attack and stuff and not just do everything for me?”

“Of course. Why would I do everything for you? You’re a capable person.”

“I tried to play once with a friend a really long time ago and they basically just took me on a tour of the game, I didn’t really do anything and it just felt dumb.”

“Ohh… no, you can do or not do as much as you want, okay?”

“Okay.” You said happily.

“So come get stuff. This is my enchanting room, you can take anything you want out of the chests…”

You followed him.

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[pocket-sized-nightmare]

here’s my entry for day 5 of @gem-pearl-week 2024! today’s prompt is “death/reincarnation”

The only time Gem sees Pearl cry during Real Life is when she loses her dog.

Pearl’s canine army no longer represents her only solace from isolation, but she still loves them like family. Matchbox and Mailbox have formed their own tiny pack with Tilly back on Hermitcraft, and Pearl was so excited to introduce Milly to them. She was such a sweet puppy. Before, the game felt fun for once – far more hopeful than the others, in any case – and Pearl is stunned by how quickly her emotions change. She falls to the ground and sobs, half-laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. “Milly’s dead…”

Gem sees Pearl and lays down beside her. She plays with Pearl’s hair, trying to distract her. Real Life has been kind to its players so far, and a piece of her wonders if it would really change so quickly. Grian wouldn’t do that, would he? “Shh,” Gem whispers. “In the next life, there’s gonna be another dog.”

“Really?” Pearl whispers back.

“Of course.” Gem thinks of Tilly, cowering in the corner of Pearl’s house the first time Gem saw her. Her fur was singed, and she had an injured paw and a scar over her eye that still hasn't quite faded. She was alive, though. Pearl’s lost wolves have survived these games before. “There’s gonna be another dog.”

Two days pass after the group’s return from Real Life, and Milly still doesn’t appear. Pearl is grateful that she at least didn’t have time to get too attached. She doesn’t tell the pack about Milly, but she can tell Tilly knows something is wrong. Tilly curls up against Pearl and whines, then walks around in circles, confused. “You’re a perceptive pupper, Tilly.” Pearl pets Tilly on the head, and Tilly hesitantly flops over for belly rubs. “What’s goin’ on, honey?” Pearl asks.

Tilly has no response.

Pearl sighs as Matchbox and Mailbox join the cuddle pile. “I’m just glad I’ve got you guys.”

————

In just about all forms, Grian doesn’t quite stick the landing.

Everyone returns to Hermitcraft in one piece, but they all respawn in the wrong bases. Cleo lands right in the middle of spawn, Tango somehow wakes up in the med bay, and both Gem and Pearl end up in Pearl’s base. (All the Hermits find that one especially cute.)

Gem doesn’t pay it much mind until a few days after Real Life ends. It’s night, but she’s had one too many cups of tea from Cleo’s cat cafe, and it’s given her too much energy to settle down. She paces around her new base a few times, plotting out build ideas. The power lines could use some work. Maybe I could get one of the redstoners to check them out. And that area over there would be perfect for–

A soft, tiny bark distracts Gem from her thoughts.

“What the heck?” she murmurs aloud. “Okay, who got out now?”

She looks around the chunk she’s in, but there’s no sign of any wolves, let alone a familiar one. “Hello? Anybody around? Or anydog, I guess?”

There’s another soft bark, but no further clues. Gem can’t even place the sound. “Can I get a hint?”

No response. Gem sighs, then realizes she might have a way of figuring it out. Pearl’s wolf pack seems to accept Gem as their second human. She could go over to Pearl’s base, but it’s outside the mountain, and Gem has the sinking sense that whoever she’s hearing won’t last that long. She’s never tried calling Pearl’s wolves before, but it couldn’t hurt.

Gem takes a deep breath and calls, “Mailbox! Come here, Mailbox!”

There’s a brief pause, and then a soft thud as a wolf with a yellow collar appears on the grass in front of her. He immediately runs over, nuzzles against Gem, and rolls over for belly rubs. Gem happily obliges. She barely has time to grin at the realization that Pearl’s dogs consider her a part of the family before another soft bark echoes across the base.

Mailbox immediately sits upright. His ears prick up. Gem breathes a sigh of relief. “Can you go find it, buddy?”

Mailbox takes off running across Gem’s base at full speed. Gem follows.

On the other side of Gem’s base, there’s a pile of barrels leaning against a wall. One of them is tipped over with its open end facing the wall. It was once full of fish, but Gem remembers there’s only a few left in it – the darn foxes keep eating them. Mailbox sniffs the barrel, then paws at it and barks.

Gem sighs in exasperation. “Mailbox, you can’t have any fish. I’m trying to find the other wolf.”

Mailbox barks louder.

“Alright, fine.” Gem rolls the barrel towards her and peers inside.

A tiny wolf with a fish in its mouth peers back at her.

Gem gasps. “Oh my gosh, hello! What are you doing here? Did you tip over the barrel?”

She spots a collar on the wolf. As Mailbox barks louder, Gem dares to hope. “Let me see…”

She reaches into the barrel and stretches out a hand towards the wolf. It wobbles towards her and sniffs her hand curiously. Gem reads its collar. “Milly. If found, please return to PearlescentMoon.”

Gem is surprised by the tears that spark in her eyes. “You’re alive!” She looks further into the barrel and laughs. “You’re alive, and you ate all my fish. That explains why you don’t seem all that hungry. Come on, let’s take you back to–”

Mailbox nudges Milly’s side, and Gem notices why Milly wasn’t able to escape the barrel on her own. One of her hind paws is gone, leaving only a furry stump behind, and she can hardly walk on the other one. “Oh,” Gem whispers. “You got a little hurt on the way back, didn’t you?”

Milly barks softly. Gem scoops her up and cuddles her close. “I’m gonna take you back to your human now. She’ll be very happy to meet you.”

Mailbox, proud of his discovery, trots all the way back to Pearl’s base with his head held high. Gem follows with a bright grin on her face. Pearl’s wolf pack is back together at last.

————

Pearl wakes up to a large dog licking her face.

As her eyes adjust to the waking world, she sees the trademark scar identifying the wolf as Tilly. After a moment, she also sees the moon in the sky. “Tilly, it is not morning. Why are you waking me up?”

She glances over to the corner where her dogs were once asleep. Matchbox is still sleeping soundly, but Mailbox is completely gone. Pearl blinks in confusion. “Mailbox? C’mere, boy.”

Mailbox appears in front of her. Moments later, there’s a knock on the door. “Special delivery for the postmaster herself,” Gem’s voice calls from outside.

“You could’ve used the mail system,” Pearl says playfully as she walks over to answer the door.

“Believe me, this needs to be in person.” Gem smiles as Pearl opens the door. “I found your dog.”

Pearl doesn’t notice at first. “Oh, is that where Mailbox went? Thanks for taking care of him…”

Her voice trails off at the sight of the little wolf in Gem’s arms. “You– what… Gem, who’s this?” Pearl reads the wolf’s collar.

She bursts into tears.

Gem hands the wolf to Pearl, then wraps an arm around her shoulders. “No, don’t cry! She’s here! She’s back to us!”

“Happy tears,” Pearl murmurs, cuddling Milly in her arms. “Very happy tears.”

“I’m so glad.” Gem pets Milly on the forehead. “She didn’t make it all the way back in one piece, though. I don’t know if you spotted it, but–”

“Her back left paw is gone. Yeah, I had a feeling.” Pearl giggles as Milly licks her hand. “Do you think we can get a Hermit to make her a little wheelchair?”

“Oh, that would be so cute. Little wheels instead of paws?”

“Exactly.” Pearl sets Milly down on her bed, then wraps her arms around Gem and kisses her on the forehead. “I don’t know how you found her, but I can’t thank you enough. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Gem murmurs, hugging Pearl even tighter. “I’m just glad I tracked her down tonight. She’s finally back home.”

Matchbox finally takes note of the new dog and curls up against her. Mailbox curls up on her other side. Tilly sniffs her, then licks her head and joins the cuddle pile. On the other side of the room, Gem yawns. “Your dogs have the right idea. I should head back.”

“You could stay for the night,” Pearl says with a smile. “I mean, the dogs do seem to love having you around.”

Gem beams. “I can’t disappoint them, now, can I?”

Gem and Pearl lie down in Pearl’s bed together. Pearl blinks back another wave of tears, then cuddles against Gem and kisses her on the forehead one more time. “Thank you for everything.”

“You deserve it all,” Gem murmurs back. “Good night, Pearl.”

“G���night, Gem,” Pearl whispers.

As the moon shines overhead, Gem and Pearl – and their wolf pack – fall asleep together in the warmth of Pearl’s base.

[therizino-ao3]

Hermit Horror Week 2023

Day three: Chase

Summary: Tango must think he’s so funny for this. Hypno disagrees.

Read on ao3

Contains: minor amnesia, someone being trapped, chasing, possession, temporary character death

Hypno doesn’t remember how he got here, but he does remember that it’s his fault.

He remembers Tango’s complaining on how Hypno keeps outsmarting the dungeon, he remembers Reckless Charge being nerfed, he remembers his and Tango’s argument about the dang “Coming Soon” sign, and, well, he can’t remember what he did after that, but it must have been pretty bad.

So, now he’s here. Here being a maze, decorated similarly to level one, but with a completely different layout. It’s also pretty deserted; there’s no trees, lakes, stalagmites, anything. Just endless winding corridors. Occasionally, the maze will open out into a larger room, but that’s about it. There aren’t even any easter eggs, and believe him, he’s looked.

The first ten minutes after waking up was spent yelling and being confused. Who can blame him? When you wake up, alone with nothing, in an icy dungeon, you’re bound to have some questions. And, boy, did Hypno have some questions for Tango. The maze was definitely made by him; Hypno could recognise the subtle details of Tango’s style after so many hours of analysing Decked Out. He’ll admit, it’s a good prank, but he is getting a little worried after hearing nothing for so long. He’s had to have been wandering around for an hour at least. Surely, by now, he would have heard Tango’s snickering over an intercom, or some silly Decked Out announcement voice would play, revealing how he's been pranked. But, there’s nothing.

And, there’s something about the maze, too. Despite all his wandering, he hasn’t got the faintest grasp on the layout. His initial thought was that it’d be tiny, just enough to initially disorient Hypno and fulfil the purpose of the prank. But, in reality, it’s got to be twice the size of level one at least. The chill of the maze seeps into Hypno’s bones, with it being somehow so much colder than the Decked Out dungeon is. He’s shaking like a leaf. The lack of noise doesn’t help, either. He never realised how vital the eerie cave noises and huffs of ravagers and dings of treasure were until now, when all he can hear is his own footsteps. It’s horrifying. He’s well and truly alone.

Until he hears some shuffling behind him and then the idea that he isn’t alone is far, far scarier.

This is the third time he’s heard the noise - something thick and furry crashing into snow, muffled but not quite. The first time he was willing to write it off, the second time he took notice, and now, he can’t ignore it. It’s so much louder this time, too, like it’s right behind him.

Fuelled by some ancient instinct, he runs.

He knows, somehow, that if whatever made the noise catches him, he’ll die. It isn’t something he should be afraid of – dying – with respawn and all. He dies all the time, and sometimes it hurts, but the pain passes. He’ll survive this. But, the reassurances don’t really work in his head. It feels like telling himself that he’ll wake up from whatever nightmare he’s trapped in. Sure, yeah, that makes logical sense, but what if he doesn’t? Blood roaring in his ears, the doesn’t feels so real right now.

He's sprinting with everything he’s got, but that’s not going to be enough. He prefers strategy and thinking things out and waiting for the monster to lose line of sight so he can make his daring escape, this style of running blindly through unfamiliar corridors is not ideal. The think-fast-you’re-about-to-die situations are what always kills him, he knows.

It’s going to catch him and he’s going to die.

This is, unfortunately, the only thing he can think about when he runs into a dead end. He should be trying to loop around the monster, think of some clever trick, but he can’t. He’s useless and he can’t think properly and he’s going to die.

This is all cemented when, the thundering steps suddenly stop, and before he can turn around, something grabs him by the ankles.

Instantly, his legs are pulled out from underneath him and he crashes to the ground, freezing snow burning his face. He barely yelps before he’s dragged backwards. It’s dragging him so fast that any struggling is futile. His hands scrape on any potential hold, leaving a burst of red on white. The corridor is a blur, the speed masking any detail, not that Hypno would recognise where they’re going anyway.

He tries to focus on what he does know. Analysing, he can do that. He can’t exactly lift his head up in this situation, but he’ll use what he can. The thing keeping a hold on his ankles is coiled around them, rope-like, so perhaps a tentacle or a vine. It’s pretty silent, with Hypno initially only hearing (what he assumes to be) the footsteps. Even now, most of the noise is Hypno thrashing and being pulled over the ground, the creature itself makes no huffs or sniffs. As for behaviour, in all his years, he’s never heard of a mob that drags its prey by the ankles. He’d almost guess it’s a player, if not for the inhuman strength and speed.

Finally, it stops, still keeping a hold on his ankles. They’re in one of the rooms, this one with only one entrance. Perhaps it’s lair, he thinks with a shiver. He struggles onto his elbows and turns around.

The monster is massive – taller than Doc, at least double Hypno’s height. It’s like a warden but, not. It’s thick, fluffy, covered in skulk – several tentacles of skulk, in fact, extend from it. His guess was right, it was a tentacle grabbing him. It’s built like a gorilla, humanoid in shape, with curled horns like a ravager. The creature facing away from him, Hypno can’t see its face.

Suddenly, he’s moved. The tentacle whips him across the ground and in front of the beast.

Tango stares down at him, his face something unreadable.

Hypno spends several seconds gasping, heart thumping like it’s never done before, finally saying, “Hey Tango. You, uh, got me good. I was pretty scared there.”

Hypno chuckles a little but it comes out hollow. Tango still doesn’t say anything, staring at him.

Hypno tries again, “Uh, sweet costume. I like how you incorporated lots of different bits of Decked Out into it.”

Even as he says it, his voice is quivering. Tango stares. The more Hypno looks at Tango, the less sure he is that it’s actually a costume. Tango’s blue hair curls into the dark matted fur, sharp fangs glisten in the blue light when he opens his mouth, and he manoeuvres the massive form like it’s simply an extension of himself. Hypno is hyperaware of the skulk tentacle still curled around him, too tight to kick off.

“Did you think,” Tango’s voice is slow and deep, “The dungeon would forgive you for your crimes?”

“No! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me,” his voice gets frantic as more skulk wraps around him and pins him up to the wall behind. Tango steps closer, though really, Hypno doubts it’s still Tango.

The beast’s nose twitches, towering over the trapped man. Hypno tries to scream, but the skulk has covered his mouth, so all that’s left is to plead with his eyes. It doesn’t work.

Hypno respawns, hands curling around his belly. He’s fine now. It’s over.

He looks up, relief fading as he takes in the icy walls around him. He’s still trapped. The invulnerability of respawn fading, the cold swarms in on him. The dungeon isn’t done with him yet. He curls his jacket around himself and whimpers.

[bray-tech]

Y’ ever thought about what a fucked-up thing immortality would be?

But not just any immortality, the specific kind where when you die, you just… respawn. Like ten feet away. GTA Respawns. Or for simplicity, you wake up a lil' bit later, exactly where you were. so like, as an example, say you’re a WW1 soldier, drilling to place one of the bombs along the Somme for the allies.

You don’t know what set it off, but the world around you goes up in flames instantly and…

Somehow

somehow you don’t.

You wake up buried in the rubble, or in a newly opened tunnel, or crawling out of a fissure of water deep underground.

So you spend the next week stumbling around collapsing every so often from dehydration before inexplicably standing back up. until suddenly you find

Trenches

 At the surface.

But of course, you don’t have the good fortune, no sir, no fortune here. These aren’t your trenches.

They’re your enemy’s.

So you fight like a mad dog, trying to get back across to your guys

You make it

Despite the gas,

Despite the shelling

Despite the hell around you

And your boss calls it a miracle

Sends you back to medical for some much-needed rest

So, you make it through the rest of that war

Confused as hell when people die around you and you just… don’t.

You get a reputation among the others;

You’re unkillable, unsinkable. Somehow, unshakeable. They must not hear your mind in the dark.

You find out towards the end that your wife and child were informed that you had been killed at the Somme.

It’s the British intelligence agency, or what will become it. They invite you to come to them.

You accept and begin sending your paychecks as ‘death benefits’ to your grieving family.

It’s probably better this way. The war changed you.

So you find your way to the front again.

You’re now a British officer.

You volunteer, in WW2, for the disastrous Dieppe raid. You heard the plans. You just want to get out as many as you can.

This earns you a rep as ‘insane’ among the British. You’re hailed as ‘a good one’ among the Canadians.

You work with them, mouse-holing up Italy.

Eventually, you make it through that war.

Not without incident, of course. More than once, you took grenades for your men to prevent them from dying.

They don’t know how to explain your survival, so they call you a hero.

After the war, you retire.

You get bored.

To cover your tracks, you take a job as an actor with the Globe. You get cast as older men; frequently you portray Richard III.

Sometimes you portray Macbeth.

Eventually, that grows stale.

On a trip to America, you meet the son of a doctor you met once in Europe. His name is unimportant; he’s now a doctor himself. The man mentions being in need of a butler.

You took that training as part of your British intelligence work.

You offer.

He accepts.

Ten relatively quiet years pass.

You’re pulling the car around to pick up him and his family.

He and his wife are murdered in front of their eight-year-old son.

You resolve to help the child.

Your name is Alfred Pennyworth. Your ward hasn’t figured out that you can’t die. World’s Greatest Detective, my ass.